All language subtitles for Home Improvement -Season 7- E8

Does everybody know what time it is?

Tool Time!

That's right. Binford Tools is proud
to present Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.

Hey. Thank you.

Thank you all. Oh, please.

Thank you very much. Thank you, Heidi,
and welcome to Tool Time.

I am... hm...
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.

Of course, you all know
my assistant, Al Borland.

Wow.

We have a very special show
for you today.

Tim and I are proud to be building
something for my church.

Thank you, Heidi.

This cabinet will become
a place for the piscina.

Be very careful. They're won'th a lot
of money, especially the old piscinas.

You gotta make sure the piscina fits.

The new modern piscinas aren't as nice
as the old piscinas, but be careful.

You have no idea what a piscina is,
do you, Tim?

No.

A piscina is a special basin
used in the disposal of baptismal water,

- leftover wine...
- And maybe those annoying oils?

- Anointing oils.
- Those, too.

So, basically, it's a sink.

It's not an ordinary sink.
See, it has no faucets.

So, it's not even as good as a sink.

Why don't you take that up
with our special guest?

Let's have a warm Tool Time welcome

for the minister of
the St. Stephens Episcopal Church.

Heidi, my minister please,
Father Mike Weber.

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Father, it's really good
to have you on this show.

I wonder how you feel being the first
holy man to ever be on Tool Time.

Well, I'm not basking in the glory.

I just hope I get out alive.

You don't have much to worry about,
since you have an in with the big guy.

And I'm not talking about Al.

Father, I was trying to explain to Tim
exactly what a piscina is.

- Would you care to elaborate?
- It's a sink.

The difference is,
it's a sink that's been blessed.

So, you need to find a blessed plumber.
That's hard.

"Oh, Father, forgive me.
I've overcharged.

Your trap wasrt stuck at all."

You don't need a plumber, actually, Tim.
It's a very simple concept.

It's a basin, with a pipe
that goes directly into the ground

so that the sacred fluids
go right back into the earth.

The piscina is a thousand year old
tradition in the church

and it's symbolic
of many wondrous miracles.

Thank you, Father.

The most wonderful miracle is,
it's so simple to install,

even you can't destroy it.

We'll finish our installation here.

We really appreciate this.
Al, thank you so much.

Our pleasure.

We're very excited
about receiving it on Sunday.

Is there a special prayer you have
when a sacred object is destroyed?

Yes, there is.

You break it, you buy it.

Breathe in and out.

And in and out.

Beautiful.

Now, every yoga session ends
with a very special sensation.

Pain?

Inner peace.

This exercise
is Uncle Wilsors favorite.

It's called Shava-asana.
Lie down in the position of a corpse.

You guys had
some of Mom's meatloaf, huh?

I heard that.

- Hey, Tim.
- Hello, Willow.

You ever try yoga?

Nope. No matter what they do to it,
it still doesn't taste like ice cream.

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed
your first session.

Yeah, I loved it.

It's the first time I've ever seen
the back of my neck.

Now that you've seen it, wash it.

- See you guys.
- Where you going?

To school to sign up
to volunteer at the hospice home.

It's great you're doing it,

but working with people who are dying
isn't gonna be easy.

I know, but think
how tough things are for them.

I could have never handled this
at your age. It's really cool.

Dad, this isn't about cool.

The concept of hospice is an alternative
to the medical establishment.

Which is a greedy,
doctor-controlled bureaucracy

that's death-oriented
instead of life-oriented.

They never heat up
those rubber gloves, either.

What will you be doing
at the hospice?

I'll be spending my time
with a woman named Elaine.

We'll play cards, watch videos.

Why don't you take her
some old Tool Time videos?

The woman has suffered enough.

Hi, I'm here to see Elaine Jenkins.

You must be Randy.

Elaine's not back from her walk.
Have a seat.

OK.

Well, I was wondering where I left that.

I also misplaced my darn seltzer bottle.

I just keep losing all my props.

- Wilson?
- No, no, no, not today.

When I volunteer for the children
I am Bubbles the clown.

Oh, Becky, would you like
to put these in some water?

Bubbles, I don't have any water.

Well, you do now.

I didn't know you volunteered here
at the hospice.

- Today's my first day.
- It's a wonderful place.

I think you're gonna
get a lot of good stuff out of it.

I don't know.
Ever since I got here I've been nervous.

I don't want to say or do
the wrong thing.

Ah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

You know, Randy,
I'm reminded of the Book of Sirach,

which says a faithful friend
is a medicine for life.

So, I should just relax
and try to be supportive?

Exactly. If you want you can always
borrow my size 52 clodhoppers.

They're a great icebreaker.

Well, hello, ladies.
How are you?

See you, Randy.

- Randy, Elaine's back from her walk.
- Oh.

Hi. I'm Randy Taylor. Are you OK?
Do you want to sit down?

I probably should
after that two mile power walk,

but she's Elaine.
I work here.

She's my nurse.

I keep telling her to live life
and get off her bony butt.

Wow. You power walk?

I also dress myself
and cut my own meat.

- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...
- Hey.

I'm having fun with you.

- Arert I allowed to have fun?
- Oh, yeah, of course.

Fun, fun, fun!

Well, Randy,
would you like to see this place?

Sure. I'm dying to.

I mean, I'd love to.

- This is home.
- It's very nice.

Thank you.

Is this your family?

Yes. That's my son, Steven
and my daughter, Nancy.

- Both asked me to move in with them.
- Why didn't you?

Well, one lives in California
and one lives in Florida.

I hate surfing and old people.

You know, the worst
is old people who surf.

Get out of
my pipeline. I'm surfing here.

I am staying here in Detroit
until the Lions win a Super Bowl.

You're gonna be here awhile.

I'm counting on it.

You know, Randy, when the doctors
diagnosed me with cancer,

they said I only had six months to live.

That was three years ago.

- That's fantastic.
- Doctors! What do they know?

Tell me about it.

They run 400 tests,
come up with their expert diagnosis,

toss people in the hospital
for thousands of dollars.

If they're not sick enough to die,
they've got no money left to live.

You seem a little bitter.

I've been reading about
the health care crisis in this country.

It just makes me really mad.

It is so refreshing
to meet a young person

who has such strong
convictions and beliefs.

I've been questioning
a lot of things lately.

Corruption of
the political establishment,

lack of ethics
in corporate America,

hypocrisy of organized religion.

There are just so many things in
this world that people follow blindly.

Never be a follower.

You stick to your guns
and don't ever lose your fire.

You sure haven't lost yours.

Well, that's what keeps me going.

That, and hiding props
from that annoying clown.

Oh, hi. How did it go at the hospice?

Unbelievable.
Elaine was so full of life.

She was an inspiration.

Speaking of inspiration,

Al has invited us
to his church this Sunday.

They're honoring your father's sink.

It's not a sink.
It's an extremely religious basin.

It's called a Pasadena.

Look, uh...

I don't want to make a big deal
out of this, but I'm not going Sunday.

- Do you have to work at the hospice?
- No.

Does going to Al's church
make you a little uncomfortable?

No. Going to any church
makes me uncomfortable.

I've been thinking
and I just realized

organized religion
doesn't make any sense to me.

It doesn't make any sense to anyone,
but they still go to church.

Randy, this family's
always gone to church together.

I know, but for a long time
I've been questioning why I'm there.

Question all you want to,
as long as your butt's in that pew.

Dad, I just believe people can
experience God in different ways.

Does this have anything
to do with the hospice?

Yeah. Being there reminded me how
important it is to question things.

The answers don't have anything
to do with organized religion.

I think it's great that you're examining
your life on a deeper level.

Are you sure that you want to abandon
everything you've believed in?

- Especially a religion.
- Dad, I'm not abandoning God.

It's just, sitting in that church
goes against my convictions and beliefs.

Convictions and beliefs?

What do they have to do with religion?

What makes Randy think he can get away
with not going to church?

I don't think he's trying
to get away with anything.

Randy's wrestling with major
philosophical issues.

We can't force him to share our beliefs.

We're gonna have to be open-minded
and allow him to find his own.

What if he starts
believing something we don't like?

What if he joins a cult
that worships chicken parts?

He'll never go hungry.

I don't think this is real funny, Jill.

What is this?
You're not exactly Mr. Religious.

Half the time in church you fall asleep.

But I'm in the building,
so I get credit.

Is that what this is about?

- That's God's plan.
- God's plan?

Yes, you go to church, you get credit.

You fall asleep, you lose a credit.

You understand the sermon,
you get extra credit.

If you get enough credits, you can
bypass hell and upgrade right to heaven.

That's a real spiritual approach.

My parents forced me to go to church
and I'm a better person because of it.

My parents forced me.
I'm a better person in spite of it.

So, either way it works, huh?

Man, I'm never doing yoga again.

Hey, Dad, you know a lot about pain.
What do you do for back spasms?

I go to church and I don't ask why.

Gin.

One, two. Well...

You owe me $362,000.

- Settle for a stick of gum?
- No.

Cash or your pants.

I'll owe ya.
You're one heck of a card player.

That's what they said in Vegas.

Before they kicked me out
for counting cards.

Luckily, I got a gig driving a truck.

Wait a second.
You drove a big rig?

An 18-wheeler.

I met my husband
at a truck stop in Reno.

I divorced him at the next one.

- You think that's funny?
- Yeah.

No.

- Is any of this true?
- Some of it.

- You ever been to Vegas?
- Yeah. Went last year.

Got a fake i.d., hooked up
with a showgirl, and won 12 grand.

- Any of that true?
- Not a word.

Come in.

Well, hi-ho!

Well, clowny,
you just come right in here.

I think somebody
wants to be entertained.

Well, entertain this.

Great news.
I have a date for Saturday night.

Oh, yeah?
Where are you and your mom going?

No, no.

My date's name is Gina and I'm gonna be
double dating with a friend.

- Hey, Al. All set.
- There he is. Right.

Gina can't wait to meet you. The four
of us are going to the Blues Barrel.

I dig the blues.

* Ba da da da dah

* I was born on a Monday

* Ba da da da dah

* It sure was a fun day

Hey, this is working.

Now I got the blues.

Wait a minute.
You two are double dating?

Why? Don't you think
a minister can go have fun?

Not with Al.

After the blues club maybe we can go to
Mr. Tasty's for some soft-serve cones.

All right, you wild man!
Come on!

Gina will love that. She's big.

All right.

- I'll dig you later.
- We'll have fun Saturday.

- The piscina looks great.
- Thanks.

I hope you and your family
come to the dedication.

Yeah, me too. Um...

- Can I talk to you for a minute?
- Sure.

Want me to bless the flathead?

Not today. I'm having a little trouble
with my 15-year-old son.

- Is it serious?
- I think so.

He's having a problem with your boss.

The bishop?

The boss?

Springsteen?

His boss.

- Oh, oh.
- Yeah, yeah.

He doesn't want to go to church.
I don't know how to make him.

Make him go?
I've got a teenage son.

- Can't make a 15-year-old do anything.
- Yeah.

That's what I'm afraid of.

But if I don't try,
then the kid may...

- Wind up on the wrong path?
- Well...

It's like he's been cruising along 275
in a great line,

then all of a sudden he gets off an exit
and there he is, on Telegraph.

Yeah. Potholes, permanent construction.

- I used to race on Telegraph.
- There were some sporting races.

One night some kid took this beautiful
Chevelle Super Sport, a '67.

He just corkscrewed off a turn
and the idiot wrecked it.

I was there.
I was there, yeah.

That was a cherry car. The guy must
have built it but he couldn't handle it.

No, no, no, he could handle it. Look.

It was a '68, it was a Nova, and the kid
did all... Let's talk about Randy!

Tell me a bit about him.

- He's a great kid.
- Mm-hmm.

He does stuff
I would never think of doing.

At 15 I was always spending time
around garages.

Every day...
Except Sunday morning.

Yeah.

Let me ask you, what kind of stuff
does he do in his spare time?

Volunteers.
Last year he worked at a soup kitchen.

This year he's volunteering
at a hospice house.

- That's very admirable.
- Yeah.

What kind of stuff do you do
in your spare time, Tim?

Well, I work on the hot rod here.

I'm gonna drop this flathead
into a '46 Ford convertible.

- That's gonna cook, man.
- Yeah.

It's kind of funny, you know.

Some people, uh, take their spare time
and work on their cars

and go to church on Sunday.

Others take their spare time
to help their fellow man

and then choose not to go to church.

Are you saying I'm not
as good a Christian as my kid?

- It's not a contest.
- If it were, who would get better odds?

Look, I'm not the Lord's bookie.

I'm sure you're familiar with the last
words of a typical Episcopalian service?

"We're number one!"

What I always say is, "Go in peace
to love and serve the Lord".

If you think about it,
that's what Randy's doing, isn't it?

I never thought of it that way.

- He's in good shape.
- Thanks for talking to me.

- OK, sure. Well, see you Sunday.
- You bet.

Unless I find some other way
to do the Lord's work.

Nice try, but I don't think dropping
a flathead into a convertible

qualifies as the Lord's work.

Unless you donate the car to me.

- See you Sunday.
- See you Sunday.

- Hey, Becky.
- Oh, Randy, hold on a sec.

Elaine can't see anybody today.

- When should I come back?
- She took a turn for the worse.

She doesn't want visitors anymore.

But, I mean, come on, it's me.

I'm her gin partner.
I gotta win my money back.

I know.
Listen, she told me to give you this.

So, what did Father Mike say
that changed your mind?

Well, he made me understand that
even though Randy has a problem

with organized religion, volunteering
is his way of going to church.

- Thought I should be more open-minded.
- That's what I said.

I know, but it had more impact
coming from a minister

who bar hops with Al.

Just the man I want to talk to.
Randy, hold on a sec.

I think I understand how you feel
about not going to church.

That's great, Dad.

- Is there something wrong?
- Elaine didn't want to see me.

Why not?

Doctor said
she took a turn for the worse.

Oh, Randy.

It's amazing. It's just like yesterday
she's sitting there laughing,

telling me stories,
hiding the whoopee cushion from Wilson.

I know it's not easy, but you knew
something like this was gonna happen.

I thought I did.

I guess I convinced myself
that my spending time with Elaine

would make some kind of difference.

Hey, come on, buddy.
You made a difference.

You brought a lot of happiness
into her life.

Yeah, but she's still gonna die.

You know, here I think I have
all my beliefs figured out.

It's sure not working for me now.

It's not easy for anybody
to understand sickness and death.

We spend our whole lives
trying to figure stuff like this out.

I've spent a long time trying to
understand why my father died so young.

- How'd you ever get through it?
- Patience, grieving,

a little bit of prayer.

Maybe I should say a prayer for Elaine.

It would be a good idea.

There's a place where people get
together and pray for God's protection.

Dad, I'm not going to church.

I was talking about Tool Time.

This is really cool
that you're doing this.

Dad, this isn't about cool.

I mean, the whole s... Um... Sorry!

Dad, this is more than cool.
That's not it, either.

This isn't about cool.

This isn't about cool.

I can't look at him!

Just hold that there.

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