All language subtitles for Home Improvement -Season 7- E11

This will be my most exciting
lighting display ever.

The guys at the power plant will be
working overtime for this bad boy, huh?

You might want to read this flyer.
I found it in the mailbox.

It's from
the lighting contest committee.

"Because certain rooftop displays
have exceeded the bounds

of prudent energy consumption
and good taste,

this year's lighting contest
will be strictly regulated."

They're pulling the plug on you, Dad.

What makes you think
this has to do with me?

It says right here, "To be referred to,
henceforth, as the Tim Taylor clause".

This is bunk.
This is bunk. Come on!

"Electricity is limited
to two 20-amp breakers."

Who can work with that?
"No bulbs over 25 watts."

Ha, ha!

"Maximum height of elves, three feet."

What kind of elf is three foot tall?

This one's gonna kill you.

"Nativity scenes may include only
characters mentioned in the Bible."

Which means no more Three Stooges.

Those were the Three Wise Men.

Really? Then why were they poking
each other in the eye?

To break up the trip.

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What is that smell?

I'm making us a special Christmas cake.

It's really cool. It's got pineapple
and mangoes and papaya.

It's a fruitcake.
Everybody hates fruitcake.

I know that. This is not a fruitcake.
This is a Christmas cake with fruit.

"Cake with fruit."
Reverse that.

- "Fruitcake."
- Don't take it out on me

just 'cause the neighborhood
put the kibosh on your lighting display.

You say "ki-bosh,"
I say "pish-tosh".

- I got Wilson to be my partner.
- To help you do the roof?

No, no. He's gonna give me
two 20-amp circuits.

He's not decorating his roof.
I get his allotment of electricity.

I get more wattage.

It means I can make elves
the size of Shaquille O'Neal.

I can't believe Wilson would go along
with this after reading that flyer.

I'm not sure he read it.

- Where are the boys? I need help.
- Picking up Mom from the airport.

Listen, um... when she gets here
I want you to be extra nice to her.

Oh. Now you tell me.
I just short-sheeted her bed.

No. You know, I want this
to be a really great holiday for her.

It's the first one since Dad died,
and she's bound to be depressed.

If anything will lift her spirits,
it will be the new lighting display.

Guess who's bearing frankincense
this year?

Come here. I want you to see this.

Look.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

It's your mom and dad at their wedding.

I found it in her house after
the funeral, so I had it restored.

I'm gonna give it to her for Christmas.

They did a nice job restoring this.

They were able to airbrush a smile
over your dad's scowl.

No, that's a real smile.

You said he never smiled
at their wedding.

No, he never smiled at our wedding.

- Oh, Tim! Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas, Lillian. How are you?

- It's good to see you.
- Hi, Mom.

- Hello, baby.
- Can I take your coat?

- It's so good to see you.
- Merry Christmas. I love your hair.

- You look gorgeous.
- It's so cute.

How was the trip back with Brad
from the airport?

It was a lot less scary
than when I ride with Tim.

I never knew Detroit had stop signs.

Roundish red things.
Yeah, I've seen them.

Oh, Jill, the tree looks beautiful.

Yes, it does, doesn't it?

Well, except for this spark plug here.

That's right. Every year
Tim sneaks auto parts onto the tree.

And on Easter we have a muffler hunt.

Mom, there's a present that
I want you to open while we're alone.

Oh, no, no. It's not Christmas yet.

No, this one's kind of personal.

I want you to open it while there's not
a lot of other people around.

Speaking of having other people around,
there's something I need to ask you.

Would you mind if I invited a friend
to join us for Christmas?

- Oh, a friend!
- He's really very nice.

He.

His name is Parker and he's an engineer.

He's going to be visiting people
in Detroit during the holidays.

Is... Uh... Mom?

What are you saying?
You're seeing someone? Like dating?

I guess that's
what you would call it.

We've been going out together
for a couple of months.

I really like him.

- Would it be all right if he joined us?
- Sure. It's fine, it's great.

Whatever's gonna make
your Christmas good for you.

I can't tell you how happy that
makes me. I was nervous to tell you.

Oh! Well, now you've told me
and now I know.

So, there's nothing
for anybody to be nervous about.

Let me show you his picture.

I brought a picture along with me
for you to see.

Here it is.

He has a duck tail
and you're wearing a poodle skirt.

Yes, it... it was Fifties Night

at Karaoke Pete's Tandoori Kitchen.

Oh!

Parker does a mean
Blue Suede Shoes.

Yeah, I... I see he's wearing some.

He's... He's just a wild man.

Now, how about that Christmas present?

Oh. You know, now that I look at this,
this isn't the right one.

I'm gonna have to look for it
and give it to you later.

All right. I'm going to call Parker
and tell him that he's invited.

- I can't wait for you to meet him.
- Me, too.

Look at this.

A Partridge in a pear tree.

Tim.

Mom just told me that she's...

...bringing a date for Christmas.

Why doesn't she bring a whole box?

You can put them
in your "Christmas cake."

No. Come here.

His name is Parker. She's been
seeing him for a couple of months.

Wow.

That's, uh, kind of soon.
I mean...

- How do you feel about that?
- Well, I was in shock.

I mean, I'm starting to give her
this photo of her and Dad,

then she starts talking
about this other man.

I didn't feel I could give it to her.
Do you think I'm overreacting?

No. I think
you're taking this very well.

My mom waited 30 years to start dating
and I still think it's too soon.

It's obviously a little awkward for me,
but it's not about me.

So I'm gonna be supportive and when
Parker gets here we'll be hospitable.

It'll be easier for me.
He's not shacking up with my mom.

Whatever I can do to help.

See, Parker, here's my problem.

Even with... Even with Wilsors
allotment of electricity,

I still can't get these mechanical
things to work properly.

If I'm reading this right,
this doesn't say anything about voltage.

Huh?

You can use a 220 volt line for your
appliances instead of the standard 110.

It takes the same 20-amp breaker,
but doubles your power.

Yeah. Double your power,
double your fun. Oh, oh, oh!

Let's go to the garage.

Would you like to know
where Parker and I met?

Uh-huh. OK.

In the frozen vegetable section
of the supermarket.

Nothing says romance
like a bag of frozen succotash.

We chatted a little more in paper goods,

and ended up exchanging life stories
in pet food.

By the time you got to checkout,
you were an item?

It didn't go quite like that.

You want to know what we did
on our first date?

Yeah, sure.

Parker took me dancing.

- I thought you hated dancing.
- No!

Well, it was your father
who didn't care for it.

Do you and Parker go dancing a lot?

Every Saturday night.

A couple of weeks ago he took me
to a square dance festival in Austin.

You drove up for the day?

Well, actually we made a weekend of it.

It's a great idea.
I'll run a line from the garage.

Parker figured out how to get more
electricity and not break the rules.

- This guy's sneaky. I like him.
- You're pretty sneaky yourself.

You figured out
how to use a motor from your dryer.

You're taking apart our dryer?

I'm taking apart the dryer for you.

It's for the holidays.

You won't have to do laundry
until way into the new year.

Guess what,
Tim asked me to come to Tool Time.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Just remember, if Tim uses words like
"tweaked" and "souped up" and "uh-oh,"

you run like hell.

If we're gonna make the Johnsons'
for dinner we better go.

Oh, they're Parker's oldest friends
in the world.

I'm a little nervous about meeting them.

- They're gonna love you.
- Oh.

- How could they not?
- Wait. What time are you gonna be home?

You don't have to wait up, honey.
I have my keys.

- See you later. Have fun.
- Bye.

Parker's a great guy.

Hey, how would you feel about
him becoming part of the family?

You throw pretty good for a girl.

What do you got against Keith Partridge?

He's not dating your mother.

I just... I can't believe
the way that she's acting!

It's like Dad never even existed.

And the way she goes on and on about
her tawdry square dancing weekend.

Come on, it's just
square dancing, honey.

I could just see the two of them,
do-si-do-ing around naked.

It gives new meaning to the words,
"Grab your partner".

And you! You! You! You're going out
of your way to be chummy with him!

I'm being hospitable
because you, you, you asked me to!

You asked him to come to Tool Time.

You never asked my father
to come to Tool Time.

Your father hated Tool Time.

He'd never go. He said,
"I'd rather watch a test pattern."

How come you never took my father's
suggestions about the Christmas lights?

Jill, your father never gave me
suggestions. He gave me orders.

OK, yeah, he was gruff.

He was a very difficult person,
but that doesn't make this easier.

It seems like Mom's happier with Parker
than she ever was with Dad.

That's not the case.
It's because it's a new relationship.

I've got to talk to Mom
about this thing, the way I feel.

- No, no, don't.
- Why not?

It's Christmastime. It's no time
to tell people how you feel.

Does everybody know what time it is?

Tool Time!

That's right. Binford Tools is proud
to present Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.

Thank you.

Wow, what a good audience.
Good for you. Thank you, Heidi.

Welcome to Tool Time.

I am Tim "The Yule Man" Taylor.

Of course, you all know
my assistant, Al Borland.

Thank you.

Well, it's almost Christmas,
and Christmas is a time...

...for giving.

Right. And for you last-minute shoppers,

the "Tool Man" here's got a selection
of last-minute gift ideas.

And to start us off,
we have the Binford 6100 Sleep Enancer.

It's for you guys
who can't drift off to sleep.

It produces sounds
to help you deep, deep sleep.

We have "Primeval Forest,"
"Babbling Brook"...

Boring. Boring.
I like this one.

Ahh.

Indy cars going 220 miles an hour.

All right. What do we have next?

I have a big surprise.
I'll be right back.

In the meantime, why don't we look at
some stocking stuffers from Binford?

This year, say "Merry Christmas"
with how-to videos starring Tim and Al.

Right. Show your loved ones how to get
rid of that annoying hum from lights

in Silence of the Lamps.

And learn when to use nails
instead of adhesives in Glueless.

And my personal favorite,
The Nutty Compressor.

They loved this one in France.

And Tim has one more gift to show us.

He said it was a red wagon.

What would a grown man want
with a little red wagon?

Oh, boy.

Wilson, what are you doing?

Well, I'm trying to black out my windows

so I can finally get some sleep.

- Insomnia?
- No, no, no. "Timsomnia."

Here they go!

Do not look directly into the Jesus.

Oh. I brought you a present.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, boy, that's heavy.

Jill, is it fruitcake?

No, it's not a fruitcake!
It's a Christmas cake.

It's made with mangoes
and papayas and...

Oh, hell, it's a fruitcake!
Fruitcake! Fruitcake! Fruitcake!

I'm sorry, I'm just upset
about this whole thing

with my mother and her new boyfriend.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Tim says I should wait till
after the holidays to talk to her,

but I'm acting so crazy. I'm throwing
baked goods at Keith Partridge.

I don't know.
What do you think?

Well, he's no Greg Brady, but...

No!

I mean, what do you think
about whether I should talk to her.

Well, I agree
with the poet William Blake,

who said,
"I was angry with my friend

I told my wrath
My wrath did end".

Yeah, but if I talk to her
it could ruin her Christmas.

If you don't,
it could ruin everybody else's.

Wilson, I want
to show you Santa's sleigh.

- Not now.
- It'll take a minute.

- Just a couple minutes.
- I want to show you.

What if I say the wrong thing
and she gets hurt?

Well, she won't if you just express
yourself in a sensitive and tactful way.

Tim, will you keep your freakir Santa
out of my yard?!

Merry Christmas, honey.

Oh, Merry Christmas, Mom.

I told Parker to come over around 9:00
if that's not too early.

Fine.

Jill, are you feeling OK?
You seemed a little quiet last night.

Mom, I have to talk to you
about something. Um...

I hope that you don't hate me
for saying this, but

I am uncomfortable with you dating.

Oh, I see.

It doesn't have anything
to do with Parker. It's just...

...so soon after Dad's death.

Well, it seemed soon to me, too.

That's why when Parker first asked me
out in the grocery store, I said no.

I thought it would be disrespectful
to the memory of your father.

So, you waited
till you got to the parking lot?

For your information,
I turned Parker down for weeks.

I spent a lot of sleepless nights
feeling guilty

for even considering going out with him.

Mom, that's what you should feel!

I mean, you were married to Dad
for 50 years!

It was 51 years.

And seven months. I don't need you
to tell me how I should feel.

Excuse me. I'm having some trouble
having to see you with another man.

It just seems like, I don't know,
like Dad has just been replaced.

Replaced?

Jill.

Your father could never be replaced.

He's still so much a part of my life

that it takes everything I've got
to let someone else in.

I'm sorry, Mom.

I just... I hadrt anticipated how hard
it would be for me to...

...not have Dad here for Christmas.

Well, it's hard for me, too.

I mean, as much as I'm trying
to move on with my life, it...

Not having him around
just tears my heart out.

Oh.

You don't know how happy that makes me.

Well, not happy.

- That sounded awful!
- I know what you mean, honey.

Oh, Mom.

Oh, now, come on now, come on.

Remember when you girls were little and
your father would get up on Christmas

and make his famous apple pancakes?

Oh, yeah.

As soon as he left the room
we fed them to the dog.

Do you think that's what killed the dog?

Well, it was sweet of him
to do it for us.

And nice of him to pass
his cooking skills along to me.

- Mom.
- Hmm?

You remember I wanted you
to open that present?

- Oh, yes.
- Would you do that now?

- Yes, thank you.
- Here.

Here you go.

Oh, look at that.
There's an air filter and a gas cap.

Oh, Jill.

I found it in your house
and I had it restored.

Oh, it's beautiful.

You were a beautiful bride.

Look at that lovely alabaster skin.

No, I was pale 'cause I was stuffed
into that dress so tight

the blood couldn't get to my head.

Of course, Dad's uniform is perfect.
Check out the sword.

That wasrt just for show, you know.

What? You're gonna tell me
he cut the cake with it?

No, he used it to cut me
out of that dress.

All right, Dad. Judges are
out front. Turn on your lights.

- Judges, you all ready?
- Ready.

One, two, three.

Oh!

Dad!

Your Santa bounced off
three different cars.

What did the judge think of the lights?

We'll let you know
when he regains consciousness.

Christmas is over. Your wife might have
got you stuff you didn't want.

So, what do you do?

I say exchange them
for some how-to videos

from Binford's new
home video collection.

Like this one,
our newest, Look Who's Caulking.

The most important thing when
caulking is to get a smooth seal.

I like to use a harbor seal.

- Right, Al?
- I don't think so, Tim.

Concentrate on the work
or there could be an accident.

Actually, there's already
been an accident.

Mom!

I never knew Detroit had stop signs.

Those octagonal red things? Yeah.

Are those octagons?

Just... are they octagonal?

Well, I scared myself with that word.

I never knew Detroit had stop signs.

Ah. Those octagonal red things. No.

I never knew Detroit had stop signs.

Those are those octagonal red...

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