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1
00:00:02,802 --> 00:00:05,498
Ooh, looking good, Al.
2
00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:09,941
Thank you. I've been experimenting
with those new volumizing shampoos.
3
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,739
- Mm-hmm.
- Now I've got fluff!
4
00:00:14,314 --> 00:00:15,474
Oh, guess what?
5
00:00:15,548 --> 00:00:17,413
I ran into llene
at the health club.
6
00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:20,510
- I am so happy for her.
- Happy about what?
7
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:22,282
- Havert heard the news?
- What?
8
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:26,291
- Nothing, nothing.
- Heidi, come on, come on.
9
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:29,817
- Come on, what news?
- Al, she's engaged.
10
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:33,096
- What?
- You know, I could've heard it wrong.
11
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:36,635
- I...
- Oh, boy, engaged?
12
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,671
That happened so fast.
13
00:00:38,738 --> 00:00:39,898
She...
14
00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:42,971
Ilene's changed her
whole life around.
15
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,670
And, and... I've done...
16
00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:47,246
...nothing.
17
00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:50,606
But, your hair looks so good.
18
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,319
Does everybody know
what time it is?
19
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:57,288
- Tool Time!
- That's right!
20
00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:59,120
Binford Tools is proud to present,
21
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:02,319
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, whoo!
22
00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:11,027
Thank you, Heidi.
23
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:13,732
Thank you, studio audience,
welcome to Tool Time.
24
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:16,571
I am who I am,
25
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:19,771
I am Tim "The Tool Man."
26
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:24,639
And, of course you all know
my assistant, Al Borland.
27
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,754
Today we're talking
about sharpening tools,
28
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:35,989
'cause as we all know,
a dull tool is a useless tool.
29
00:01:36,996 --> 00:01:40,295
And nobody wants a dull, useless tool.
30
00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:47,806
So what do they do?
They just replace it with a...
31
00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:51,366
...more exciting,
probably better looking tool.
32
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,440
Or they sharpen it.
33
00:01:57,884 --> 00:02:01,047
Which is what Al and I will do today,
showing you how to sharpen
34
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,056
with this professional
knife-sharpening system...
35
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,558
Al? Got a minute?
36
00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:10,860
Got the whole rest of my life.
37
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:15,167
It'll just be me,
all alone with my tools.
38
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,736
A guy could do worse.
39
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,773
Let's start with garden tools, can we?
40
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,968
The simplest way to do that
is use a two grit whetstone. Al?
41
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:26,335
Huh?
42
00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:31,642
What's the matter with you?
Are you on that all-corn diet again?
43
00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:38,556
Uh, to sharpen your garden tool,
you'll wanna...
44
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:41,322
...take the whetstone, uh,
45
00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:43,089
across the surface of the blade,
46
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,290
in strong, smooth strokes,
47
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:48,300
following the,
the curve of the blade.
48
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,570
In a former life,
Al was a motivational speaker.
49
00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:00,478
Let's talk about knives,
50
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:03,710
these are chef's knives,
stainless steel with carbon in them.
51
00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:05,113
They're very expensive,
52
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,449
so a good rule is not to use
too much pressure.
53
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,748
Pressure must be exact.
54
00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:11,722
Well, what do you know
about pressure? You know.
55
00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:14,487
I'm almost 40
and I'm still single.
56
00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:18,190
You keep this up,
you'll be 40, single and unemployed.
57
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,502
As I said, these knives are pricey,
you want to pay attention, Al.
58
00:03:26,573 --> 00:03:27,904
I know what I'm doing.
59
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,737
I'm just saying, with proper care,
60
00:03:29,842 --> 00:03:33,005
these tools can always be
a precision cutting instrument.
61
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:41,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.SubtitleDB.org today
62
00:04:33,706 --> 00:04:35,173
Great show, everyone.
63
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,936
Almost.
64
00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:39,778
Al, what's the matter with you?
65
00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:42,774
I just found out
llene is engaged.
66
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:45,340
Ooh, that's the problem. Oh.
67
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:48,387
- I thought you were over her.
- I am.
68
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:51,014
But, the point is,
she's moved on.
69
00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:53,558
She's... found somebody else.
70
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:56,762
All I've done is switched
to a shampoo with jojoba.
71
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:02,300
What do you expect, a woman
to pop out of a Prell bottle?
72
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,799
Al, you're a bouncir and behavir guy.
73
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:08,238
- You just gotta get out more.
- Well, I get out.
74
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:11,800
Heck, I'm over at your house
twice this week for dinner.
75
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,872
I mean get out and meet some women,
get back in the saddle.
76
00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:18,314
- You're right.
- I know I'm right.
77
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:19,874
- What am I waiting for?
- What?
78
00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:21,476
- Back in that saddle!
- Saddle!
79
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:22,919
- Back on that horse!
- Horse!
80
00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:24,990
Lasso that future Mrs. Borland.
81
00:05:25,091 --> 00:05:26,752
Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay!
82
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:31,362
Howdy! You wanna go out
Saturday night?
83
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:48,140
So, whers dinner?
84
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:52,315
6:15, same time it's been
every night this week.
85
00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:58,381
Al, um, werert you supposed
to have a date tonight?
86
00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:00,856
Well, it wasrt really a date.
87
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:03,687
This lady selling Amway
said she might call back.
88
00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:07,823
Wow.
89
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:14,069
Shouldrt you be home,
waiting for the call?
90
00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:17,134
No, I gave her this number.
91
00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:22,239
And if she doesn't call back,
that's alright too.
92
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:25,850
'Cause I'm here with the people I love
and people who love me.
93
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,987
Borland, you still here?
94
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:32,354
Boys, dinner's here!
95
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:35,493
So, chicken, huh?
Uh-oh!
96
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:37,859
You always forget
the moist towelettes.
97
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:42,426
Do I? Where is my mind?
98
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:45,733
Not to worry, I got some
emergency towelettes in the car.
99
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:49,933
Emergency towelettes...
100
00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:52,239
...and he can't get a date?
101
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,404
- Chicken.
- Oh, no.
102
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:58,848
- You know how much Al likes chicken.
- Al likes anything.
103
00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:01,715
Just hide the drumsticks
so we don't all starve.
104
00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:05,751
Tim, this is ridiculous. He can't just
spend all of his free time here.
105
00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:08,658
I've got a paper due Friday,
I can't get any work done.
106
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:09,956
He's driving us nuts.
107
00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:12,998
He keeps following me around,
asking me how I meet women.
108
00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:19,036
Amazing. A grown man
as desperate as Mark.
109
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:22,640
I've got to find him a woman.
110
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:24,938
Why doesn't he go on the internet?
111
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,569
He tried that.
112
00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:30,309
He ended up having coffee with
a 60-year-old stripper named Vince.
113
00:07:33,986 --> 00:07:36,113
Got the towelettes!
114
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,214
I also found some packets of hot sauce
115
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,987
in case tomorrow night we go
"south of the border."
116
00:07:45,364 --> 00:07:46,422
Al...
117
00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:49,400
...it's not that we don't love you
coming over for dinner
118
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,233
- night after night after night.
- After night.
119
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:55,102
But, um, I was thinking
that maybe, I don't know,
120
00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:57,699
you could go out
into the dating world again.
121
00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:00,803
Have you ever considered
going to, like, a singles bar?
122
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,814
Oh, I tried that once.
123
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:05,851
I spent the whole night
alone at the bar...
124
00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:08,887
...building a fort
out of swizzle sticks.
125
00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:12,118
Well, Al, you can't go
to a singles bar by yourself.
126
00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:16,355
You need to take a friend with you, that
way you feel more relaxed and confident.
127
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:19,431
- I don't have any single friends.
- What about Wilson?
128
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,531
- How about Benny?
- No, no, no, no.
129
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,968
We wanna attract women,
not repel them.
130
00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:29,068
Well, OK, then, then,
just take a married friend, take Tim.
131
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,733
Excuse me?
132
00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:35,076
Yeah, Tim would be willing
to go bar-hopping with you tonight.
133
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,082
- I would?
- That's great! Alright!
134
00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:40,983
Hey, hold on a minute,
excuse me a second.
135
00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:44,022
Back the open marriage mobile up, OK?
136
00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:46,818
You want me to go out
and look for women?
137
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,793
Well... oh, either that or
138
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,762
we could just have Al here
for dinner every night
139
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:53,128
for the rest of our lives.
140
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:57,363
Dad, if you love your family, you'll go
to the singles bar, cruise for chicks.
141
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:04,499
Tim, you gotta hurry up and get to the
bar before all the good women are taken.
142
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:06,134
OK.
143
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,608
Arert you the least bit worried
some woman might fall for me?
144
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:12,913
No.
145
00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:17,389
You're only gonna be there long enough
for Al to meet somebody.
146
00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:21,119
That's not long enough for anybody
to fall... you gonna wear this tie?
147
00:09:21,193 --> 00:09:23,718
What's the matter with this tie?
148
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:27,698
Well, it's fine for business, but it's
no good if you wanna get some action.
149
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:31,602
I'm not looking to get any "action".
150
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:34,731
I know, but Al is and
you're supposed to be part of a team.
151
00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:38,573
You gotta go upstairs and change
your pants. Wear those black jeans.
152
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,008
- The tight ones?
- Oh, yeah.
153
00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:45,679
You gotta show off that butt, you know?
154
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:48,720
- Why would I show off my butt?
- For Al!
155
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,122
I'm beginning to think
going after another woman
156
00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:55,193
wouldn't be that bad of an idea.
157
00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:57,689
Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah, well, OK.
158
00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:02,029
You don't trust me, we'll just go
get a totally objective opinion, OK?
159
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:05,730
OK, Tim, spin for your neighbor
one more time.
160
00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:08,706
What do you think? He's going out.
I want him to look good.
161
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,004
She says I should wear
tighter pants for Al,
162
00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:12,908
I say I look fine,
what do you say?
163
00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:15,470
Well, how does Al
like his men to dress?
164
00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:19,976
It's not for Al,
it's for the single women
165
00:10:20,052 --> 00:10:22,486
they're hoping to pick up
at the singles bar.
166
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:25,922
Oh, silly me,
how could I have missed that?
167
00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:28,516
- It's not as bad as it sounds.
- I hope not.
168
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:32,086
Al's been really lonely, he's
hanging around our house way too much.
169
00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:36,294
So, I volunteered Tim to go with him
to a singles bar for moral support.
170
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:37,927
I think this is ridiculous.
171
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:41,440
Well, Tim, there is no sacrifice
too great to make for a friend.
172
00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:46,376
In the words of the very famous wise
men, KC and the Sunshine Band,
173
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:49,181
"Shake your booty."
174
00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:52,110
Easy to say,
it's not your booty.
175
00:10:52,184 --> 00:10:55,483
Actually, I've gone to far greater
lengths to help out a friend.
176
00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:58,250
I remember when I was in Japan,
my old flame, Miyoshi,
177
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,690
was too ill to attend
a cooking contest.
178
00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:04,354
So I donned her kimono,
applied a light blush,
179
00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:08,024
and submitted her spinach wasabi
rice cakes to the judge.
180
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:11,669
So, for a friend,
you dressed up as a woman?
181
00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:14,604
Oh, absolutely.
I walked away with first prize.
182
00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:19,608
And a marriage proposal
from the vice president of Toyota.
183
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:25,080
- So, you see my point?
- What?
184
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:29,110
Go stuff yourself into those jeans,
then we'll talk about pick-up lines.
185
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,918
I can use the same pick-up line
I used on you.
186
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:35,722
I don't think she's really gonna like,
"Sorry I hurled on your shoe."
187
00:12:01,987 --> 00:12:04,080
Wow, look at this place!
188
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:07,518
It's so hip and happenir.
189
00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:09,857
What am I doing here?
190
00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:11,897
Same thing every other guy is doing.
191
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,864
Trying to find a nice,
decent woman in a meat market.
192
00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:18,997
All the women are so beautiful.
193
00:12:19,105 --> 00:12:21,130
What are they gonna want with me?
194
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:25,237
I don't know. Why don't you ask those
two girls over there looking at you.
195
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,711
- Come with me.
- You don't need me, you're a celebrity.
196
00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:40,122
Hi.
197
00:12:40,192 --> 00:12:43,059
Uh, Tim,
I believe you had something to say?
198
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,125
Hi.
199
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,763
Yeah, that was it. Hi.
200
00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:52,803
- I'm Kathy.
- I'm Donna.
201
00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:54,396
And, you would be...
202
00:12:57,309 --> 00:12:58,640
Good one!
203
00:13:00,412 --> 00:13:01,777
You are from out of town?
204
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:05,214
No, we've lived in Detroit
all our lives.
205
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:08,742
Oh, well, have you
seen a show called Tool Time?
206
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:10,516
- No.
- Uh-uh.
207
00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:13,615
- What is it?
- It's a very popular television show.
208
00:13:13,692 --> 00:13:15,819
- Oh. Cool.
- Really? Wow.
209
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:17,954
- And I'm the star.
- Wow!
210
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,621
- Oh!
- Wow!
211
00:13:20,699 --> 00:13:22,724
- Terrific.
- Yeah.
212
00:13:27,706 --> 00:13:29,264
Anyhoo, where was I?
213
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,673
- Sheboygan
- Sheboygan, yeah.
214
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:35,708
The autograph hounds would not
give me a moment's peace.
215
00:13:35,781 --> 00:13:37,146
Oh, wow.
216
00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:41,516
It must be wonderful to work with
a star of Al's magnitude.
217
00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:44,589
What do you do on the show?
218
00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:48,252
He assists me.
219
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:50,693
Actually, I stand around
220
00:13:50,796 --> 00:13:53,560
and he takes shots at
my grossly overweight mother.
221
00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:59,197
- I've always had a thing for sidekicks.
- Hmm.
222
00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:01,239
Something salty?
223
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:06,807
But I think you're
cute enough to be the star.
224
00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:09,876
We gotta go.
225
00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:11,542
- Al.
- Huh?
226
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,709
You got that beard moussing
at 5:00 a.m.
227
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:16,949
- What are you talking about?
- We don't want to be late for Jill.
228
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:19,286
- Jill's my boss.
- Oh.
229
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:22,919
- Oh, uh... I...
- You know, I gotta get going anyway.
230
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:26,453
Well, Tim, you know, if you feel like
hanging out a little longer,
231
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:30,263
then I could always just
drive you to work in the morning.
232
00:14:32,504 --> 00:14:34,563
What kinda car do you got?
233
00:14:39,912 --> 00:14:41,812
Tim.
234
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,845
Morning? Well, then you would...
235
00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:49,979
Well,
it was great meeting you.
236
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,920
Maybe we can get together again?
237
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:55,483
Hey, who knows? In the future,
down the line, our paths may cross.
238
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,324
How about tomorrow night?
239
00:14:57,429 --> 00:14:58,794
We'd love to!
240
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:02,595
That's great! Then the four of us
have a date right here at 8:00.
241
00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:04,192
I can't wait.
242
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,431
Don't worry about the drinks,
they're on me.
243
00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:07,800
Thanks. Bye.
244
00:15:17,182 --> 00:15:18,843
What are you thinking about?
245
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,476
You got me into a date!
246
00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:24,511
Well, I, I wanted to see Kathy again and
I didn't want Donna to feel left out.
247
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:29,152
And you... You were so cold to her, she
probably thinks you're not interested.
248
00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:32,958
I'm not interested,
I'm married, you idiot!
249
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:38,899
Well, that's no excuse
for bad manners.
250
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,965
Let's talk about bad manners.
251
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,703
Lying for two hours
saying you hosted Tool Time?
252
00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:50,072
Ok, I did, but I can clear
all that up tomorrow night on our date.
253
00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:53,380
Perfect. While you clear that up,
clear up why I'm not gonna be there.
254
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,784
No, no, no, you have to come with me.
Just...
255
00:15:55,854 --> 00:15:58,345
...fly with me one more time,
you're my copilot.
256
00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,892
Not spending the night here
with a beautiful woman
257
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,655
who worships the ground I stand on.
258
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:04,821
I'm gonna spend the night with my wife.
259
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:15,929
Hey, Dad, you all ready
for your big date tonight?
260
00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:20,737
It's not a date, I'm actually
breaking up with her tonight.
261
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:24,375
Already?
262
00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:26,179
That was a short romance.
263
00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:29,618
There was never a romance,
there never will be a romance.
264
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:31,986
Well, not with that attitude.
265
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:36,959
Fellas, the only reason
I'm going down there tonight,
266
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,395
is I don't trust Al
to tell that woman I'm married.
267
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:40,465
Maybe it's just me,
268
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:44,297
but shouldn't you have told her
you're married on the first date?
269
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:47,464
And you're supposed to be
our role model.
270
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:52,977
Whoa! Why are you wearing that?
271
00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:56,537
- For the date I'm going on.
- You can't wear that.
272
00:16:56,615 --> 00:17:00,676
If these pants were any tighter, my
navel would be under my Adam's apple.
273
00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:04,222
Well, I know. I want you
to wear looser pants.
274
00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:07,656
- You look way too sexy.
- I thought you wanted me to look sexy.
275
00:17:07,726 --> 00:17:10,820
To pick up a woman,
not break up with one.
276
00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:14,121
So I dress like a slob?
277
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:18,067
Yeah, just dress the way you normally
do, the rest will take care of itself.
278
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:24,239
So, Kathy, what is it like
279
00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:27,472
working for a company
that manufactures spools?
280
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:29,547
It's great.
281
00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:32,584
Really? Where do you
learn about spools?
282
00:17:32,684 --> 00:17:34,777
Spool school?
283
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,653
I'm gonna tell her the truth right now.
284
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,027
And then you go to graduate spool?
285
00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:51,998
Just wait till I make
another date with Kathy.
286
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:56,136
- Tim, how do you feel about marriage?
- Hate it.
287
00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:58,142
What?
288
00:17:58,210 --> 00:18:00,974
- Wow, how about kids?
- I had a vasectomy.
289
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,213
Really? That is terrific.
290
00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:08,676
Well, it's not as much fun as it sounds.
291
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:12,118
I have always felt
that marriage was very confining
292
00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:17,060
and that kids greatly take away from
the raw power of the sexual experience.
293
00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:22,127
Have you noticed the mustard stain
on these chinos?
294
00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:26,337
I'm not looking at the mustard,
I'm looking at the buns.
295
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:29,339
Hello! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
296
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:32,900
I have to go to the little
mechanics room, Al, you wanna join me?
297
00:18:32,978 --> 00:18:34,673
- Huh?
- Go change our oil.
298
00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:36,771
- Huh?
- Flush our coolants.
299
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,316
What?
300
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:40,947
Pee.
301
00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:49,858
- This charade's gotta stop.
- What?
302
00:18:49,928 --> 00:18:53,796
- We gotta tell those women the truth.
- Wait till after the shrimp cocktail.
303
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:57,131
I'm tired of lying.
I hate her touching me,
304
00:18:57,202 --> 00:19:00,228
I can't pretend to be
something that I'm not.
305
00:19:08,747 --> 00:19:11,807
Perfect timing. Look,
the shrimp cocktail just arrived.
306
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:15,149
- Hey, before we eat...
- Hey, Tim, look! Tiger prawns.
307
00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:19,250
Before we eat,
I want to make a confession.
308
00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:22,020
You're not really on TV, are you?
309
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:25,621
No, no, we are.
But, Tim is actually the star.
310
00:19:25,697 --> 00:19:27,858
Yeah, they call me "The Tool Man."
311
00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:30,298
Ooh, I bet they do.
312
00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:34,238
They call me the married tool man.
313
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,870
Aww, man.
314
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:38,705
- But, but it's not his fault.
- No.
315
00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:41,278
You see, I, I was recovering
from a break-up
316
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,678
and I was feeling uneasy
about dating again.
317
00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:47,116
- So, I asked Tim to...
- Deceive my best friend?
318
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,949
And you lied to me.
319
00:19:49,054 --> 00:19:52,546
Well, I hope this doesn't
affect our future.
320
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,457
It can't. Because there is no future.
321
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,553
Just checking.
322
00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:03,599
Does your wife know
you're at a singles bar?
323
00:20:06,104 --> 00:20:08,664
It was her idea.
324
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,505
Oh, you showbiz people are sick.
325
00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:19,179
I hate the single life.
326
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:22,379
Well, this singles thing
is a lot tougher than I thought.
327
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,615
I should never have lied to her.
328
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,850
No, you shouldn't have lied to her.
329
00:20:27,759 --> 00:20:30,193
But, she liked you for a while.
330
00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:32,162
She did, didn't she?
331
00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:34,899
It was a good first step.
332
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:38,061
If it wasrt for you, I wouldn't have
been here to take that.
333
00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:41,367
Thanks to you, Tim, I...
I've gained my confidence back!
334
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,670
And I learned
something about spools.
335
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:48,546
You don't need me to find women.
You're, you're...
336
00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:51,482
...check out 3:00.
337
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:53,580
No, 3:00.
338
00:20:56,688 --> 00:20:58,656
Excuse me.
339
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,063
Excuse me.
340
00:21:06,131 --> 00:21:09,760
Hi, I'm Al Borland
and I would like to buy you a drink.
341
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:11,803
Oh, I don't drink.
342
00:21:11,903 --> 00:21:15,532
Mostly I just sit here
building forts out of swizzle sticks.
343
00:21:22,547 --> 00:21:25,015
Hello, again. I'm Richard.
344
00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:27,313
You like jazz?
345
00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:40,264
Not to worry, I've got
emergency towelettes in my car.
346
00:21:41,066 --> 00:21:43,967
Emergency toilettes.
347
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:46,163
He can't get... toilets.
348
00:21:54,546 --> 00:21:58,573
What's the matter with you
you just got...
349
00:21:59,305 --> 00:22:05,481
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