All language subtitles for Home Improvement -Season 7- E10

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,802 --> 00:00:05,498 Ooh, looking good, Al. 2 00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:09,941 Thank you. I've been experimenting with those new volumizing shampoos. 3 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,739 - Mm-hmm. - Now I've got fluff! 4 00:00:14,314 --> 00:00:15,474 Oh, guess what? 5 00:00:15,548 --> 00:00:17,413 I ran into llene at the health club. 6 00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:20,510 - I am so happy for her. - Happy about what? 7 00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:22,282 - Havert heard the news? - What? 8 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:26,291 - Nothing, nothing. - Heidi, come on, come on. 9 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:29,817 - Come on, what news? - Al, she's engaged. 10 00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:33,096 - What? - You know, I could've heard it wrong. 11 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:36,635 - I... - Oh, boy, engaged? 12 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,671 That happened so fast. 13 00:00:38,738 --> 00:00:39,898 She... 14 00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:42,971 Ilene's changed her whole life around. 15 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,670 And, and... I've done... 16 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:47,246 ...nothing. 17 00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:50,606 But, your hair looks so good. 18 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,319 Does everybody know what time it is? 19 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:57,288 - Tool Time! - That's right! 20 00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:59,120 Binford Tools is proud to present, 21 00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:02,319 Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, whoo! 22 00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:11,027 Thank you, Heidi. 23 00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:13,732 Thank you, studio audience, welcome to Tool Time. 24 00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:16,571 I am who I am, 25 00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:19,771 I am Tim "The Tool Man." 26 00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:24,639 And, of course you all know my assistant, Al Borland. 27 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,754 Today we're talking about sharpening tools, 28 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:35,989 'cause as we all know, a dull tool is a useless tool. 29 00:01:36,996 --> 00:01:40,295 And nobody wants a dull, useless tool. 30 00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:47,806 So what do they do? They just replace it with a... 31 00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:51,366 ...more exciting, probably better looking tool. 32 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,440 Or they sharpen it. 33 00:01:57,884 --> 00:02:01,047 Which is what Al and I will do today, showing you how to sharpen 34 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,056 with this professional knife-sharpening system... 35 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,558 Al? Got a minute? 36 00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:10,860 Got the whole rest of my life. 37 00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:15,167 It'll just be me, all alone with my tools. 38 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,736 A guy could do worse. 39 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,773 Let's start with garden tools, can we? 40 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,968 The simplest way to do that is use a two grit whetstone. Al? 41 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:26,335 Huh? 42 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:31,642 What's the matter with you? Are you on that all-corn diet again? 43 00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:38,556 Uh, to sharpen your garden tool, you'll wanna... 44 00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:41,322 ...take the whetstone, uh, 45 00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:43,089 across the surface of the blade, 46 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,290 in strong, smooth strokes, 47 00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:48,300 following the, the curve of the blade. 48 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,570 In a former life, Al was a motivational speaker. 49 00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:00,478 Let's talk about knives, 50 00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:03,710 these are chef's knives, stainless steel with carbon in them. 51 00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:05,113 They're very expensive, 52 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,449 so a good rule is not to use too much pressure. 53 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,748 Pressure must be exact. 54 00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:11,722 Well, what do you know about pressure? You know. 55 00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:14,487 I'm almost 40 and I'm still single. 56 00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:18,190 You keep this up, you'll be 40, single and unemployed. 57 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,502 As I said, these knives are pricey, you want to pay attention, Al. 58 00:03:26,573 --> 00:03:27,904 I know what I'm doing. 59 00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,737 I'm just saying, with proper care, 60 00:03:29,842 --> 00:03:33,005 these tools can always be a precision cutting instrument. 61 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:41,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.SubtitleDB.org today 62 00:04:33,706 --> 00:04:35,173 Great show, everyone. 63 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,936 Almost. 64 00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:39,778 Al, what's the matter with you? 65 00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:42,774 I just found out llene is engaged. 66 00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:45,340 Ooh, that's the problem. Oh. 67 00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:48,387 - I thought you were over her. - I am. 68 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:51,014 But, the point is, she's moved on. 69 00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:53,558 She's... found somebody else. 70 00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:56,762 All I've done is switched to a shampoo with jojoba. 71 00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:02,300 What do you expect, a woman to pop out of a Prell bottle? 72 00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,799 Al, you're a bouncir and behavir guy. 73 00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:08,238 - You just gotta get out more. - Well, I get out. 74 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:11,800 Heck, I'm over at your house twice this week for dinner. 75 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,872 I mean get out and meet some women, get back in the saddle. 76 00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:18,314 - You're right. - I know I'm right. 77 00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:19,874 - What am I waiting for? - What? 78 00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:21,476 - Back in that saddle! - Saddle! 79 00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:22,919 - Back on that horse! - Horse! 80 00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:24,990 Lasso that future Mrs. Borland. 81 00:05:25,091 --> 00:05:26,752 Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay! 82 00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:31,362 Howdy! You wanna go out Saturday night? 83 00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:48,140 So, whers dinner? 84 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:52,315 6:15, same time it's been every night this week. 85 00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:58,381 Al, um, werert you supposed to have a date tonight? 86 00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:00,856 Well, it wasrt really a date. 87 00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:03,687 This lady selling Amway said she might call back. 88 00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:07,823 Wow. 89 00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:14,069 Shouldrt you be home, waiting for the call? 90 00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:17,134 No, I gave her this number. 91 00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:22,239 And if she doesn't call back, that's alright too. 92 00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:25,850 'Cause I'm here with the people I love and people who love me. 93 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,987 Borland, you still here? 94 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:32,354 Boys, dinner's here! 95 00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:35,493 So, chicken, huh? Uh-oh! 96 00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:37,859 You always forget the moist towelettes. 97 00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:42,426 Do I? Where is my mind? 98 00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:45,733 Not to worry, I got some emergency towelettes in the car. 99 00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:49,933 Emergency towelettes... 100 00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:52,239 ...and he can't get a date? 101 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,404 - Chicken. - Oh, no. 102 00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:58,848 - You know how much Al likes chicken. - Al likes anything. 103 00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:01,715 Just hide the drumsticks so we don't all starve. 104 00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:05,751 Tim, this is ridiculous. He can't just spend all of his free time here. 105 00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:08,658 I've got a paper due Friday, I can't get any work done. 106 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:09,956 He's driving us nuts. 107 00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:12,998 He keeps following me around, asking me how I meet women. 108 00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:19,036 Amazing. A grown man as desperate as Mark. 109 00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:22,640 I've got to find him a woman. 110 00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:24,938 Why doesn't he go on the internet? 111 00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,569 He tried that. 112 00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:30,309 He ended up having coffee with a 60-year-old stripper named Vince. 113 00:07:33,986 --> 00:07:36,113 Got the towelettes! 114 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,214 I also found some packets of hot sauce 115 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,987 in case tomorrow night we go "south of the border." 116 00:07:45,364 --> 00:07:46,422 Al... 117 00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:49,400 ...it's not that we don't love you coming over for dinner 118 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,233 - night after night after night. - After night. 119 00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:55,102 But, um, I was thinking that maybe, I don't know, 120 00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:57,699 you could go out into the dating world again. 121 00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:00,803 Have you ever considered going to, like, a singles bar? 122 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,814 Oh, I tried that once. 123 00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:05,851 I spent the whole night alone at the bar... 124 00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:08,887 ...building a fort out of swizzle sticks. 125 00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:12,118 Well, Al, you can't go to a singles bar by yourself. 126 00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:16,355 You need to take a friend with you, that way you feel more relaxed and confident. 127 00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:19,431 - I don't have any single friends. - What about Wilson? 128 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,531 - How about Benny? - No, no, no, no. 129 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,968 We wanna attract women, not repel them. 130 00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:29,068 Well, OK, then, then, just take a married friend, take Tim. 131 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,733 Excuse me? 132 00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:35,076 Yeah, Tim would be willing to go bar-hopping with you tonight. 133 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,082 - I would? - That's great! Alright! 134 00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:40,983 Hey, hold on a minute, excuse me a second. 135 00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:44,022 Back the open marriage mobile up, OK? 136 00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:46,818 You want me to go out and look for women? 137 00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,793 Well... oh, either that or 138 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,762 we could just have Al here for dinner every night 139 00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:53,128 for the rest of our lives. 140 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:57,363 Dad, if you love your family, you'll go to the singles bar, cruise for chicks. 141 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:04,499 Tim, you gotta hurry up and get to the bar before all the good women are taken. 142 00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:06,134 OK. 143 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,608 Arert you the least bit worried some woman might fall for me? 144 00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:12,913 No. 145 00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:17,389 You're only gonna be there long enough for Al to meet somebody. 146 00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:21,119 That's not long enough for anybody to fall... you gonna wear this tie? 147 00:09:21,193 --> 00:09:23,718 What's the matter with this tie? 148 00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:27,698 Well, it's fine for business, but it's no good if you wanna get some action. 149 00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:31,602 I'm not looking to get any "action". 150 00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:34,731 I know, but Al is and you're supposed to be part of a team. 151 00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:38,573 You gotta go upstairs and change your pants. Wear those black jeans. 152 00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,008 - The tight ones? - Oh, yeah. 153 00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:45,679 You gotta show off that butt, you know? 154 00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:48,720 - Why would I show off my butt? - For Al! 155 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,122 I'm beginning to think going after another woman 156 00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:55,193 wouldn't be that bad of an idea. 157 00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:57,689 Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah, well, OK. 158 00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:02,029 You don't trust me, we'll just go get a totally objective opinion, OK? 159 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:05,730 OK, Tim, spin for your neighbor one more time. 160 00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:08,706 What do you think? He's going out. I want him to look good. 161 00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,004 She says I should wear tighter pants for Al, 162 00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:12,908 I say I look fine, what do you say? 163 00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:15,470 Well, how does Al like his men to dress? 164 00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:19,976 It's not for Al, it's for the single women 165 00:10:20,052 --> 00:10:22,486 they're hoping to pick up at the singles bar. 166 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:25,922 Oh, silly me, how could I have missed that? 167 00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:28,516 - It's not as bad as it sounds. - I hope not. 168 00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:32,086 Al's been really lonely, he's hanging around our house way too much. 169 00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:36,294 So, I volunteered Tim to go with him to a singles bar for moral support. 170 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:37,927 I think this is ridiculous. 171 00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:41,440 Well, Tim, there is no sacrifice too great to make for a friend. 172 00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:46,376 In the words of the very famous wise men, KC and the Sunshine Band, 173 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:49,181 "Shake your booty." 174 00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:52,110 Easy to say, it's not your booty. 175 00:10:52,184 --> 00:10:55,483 Actually, I've gone to far greater lengths to help out a friend. 176 00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:58,250 I remember when I was in Japan, my old flame, Miyoshi, 177 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,690 was too ill to attend a cooking contest. 178 00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:04,354 So I donned her kimono, applied a light blush, 179 00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:08,024 and submitted her spinach wasabi rice cakes to the judge. 180 00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:11,669 So, for a friend, you dressed up as a woman? 181 00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:14,604 Oh, absolutely. I walked away with first prize. 182 00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:19,608 And a marriage proposal from the vice president of Toyota. 183 00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:25,080 - So, you see my point? - What? 184 00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:29,110 Go stuff yourself into those jeans, then we'll talk about pick-up lines. 185 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,918 I can use the same pick-up line I used on you. 186 00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:35,722 I don't think she's really gonna like, "Sorry I hurled on your shoe." 187 00:12:01,987 --> 00:12:04,080 Wow, look at this place! 188 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:07,518 It's so hip and happenir. 189 00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:09,857 What am I doing here? 190 00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:11,897 Same thing every other guy is doing. 191 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,864 Trying to find a nice, decent woman in a meat market. 192 00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:18,997 All the women are so beautiful. 193 00:12:19,105 --> 00:12:21,130 What are they gonna want with me? 194 00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:25,237 I don't know. Why don't you ask those two girls over there looking at you. 195 00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,711 - Come with me. - You don't need me, you're a celebrity. 196 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:40,122 Hi. 197 00:12:40,192 --> 00:12:43,059 Uh, Tim, I believe you had something to say? 198 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,125 Hi. 199 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,763 Yeah, that was it. Hi. 200 00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:52,803 - I'm Kathy. - I'm Donna. 201 00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:54,396 And, you would be... 202 00:12:57,309 --> 00:12:58,640 Good one! 203 00:13:00,412 --> 00:13:01,777 You are from out of town? 204 00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:05,214 No, we've lived in Detroit all our lives. 205 00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:08,742 Oh, well, have you seen a show called Tool Time? 206 00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:10,516 - No. - Uh-uh. 207 00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:13,615 - What is it? - It's a very popular television show. 208 00:13:13,692 --> 00:13:15,819 - Oh. Cool. - Really? Wow. 209 00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:17,954 - And I'm the star. - Wow! 210 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,621 - Oh! - Wow! 211 00:13:20,699 --> 00:13:22,724 - Terrific. - Yeah. 212 00:13:27,706 --> 00:13:29,264 Anyhoo, where was I? 213 00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,673 - Sheboygan - Sheboygan, yeah. 214 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:35,708 The autograph hounds would not give me a moment's peace. 215 00:13:35,781 --> 00:13:37,146 Oh, wow. 216 00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:41,516 It must be wonderful to work with a star of Al's magnitude. 217 00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:44,589 What do you do on the show? 218 00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:48,252 He assists me. 219 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:50,693 Actually, I stand around 220 00:13:50,796 --> 00:13:53,560 and he takes shots at my grossly overweight mother. 221 00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:59,197 - I've always had a thing for sidekicks. - Hmm. 222 00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:01,239 Something salty? 223 00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:06,807 But I think you're cute enough to be the star. 224 00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:09,876 We gotta go. 225 00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:11,542 - Al. - Huh? 226 00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,709 You got that beard moussing at 5:00 a.m. 227 00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:16,949 - What are you talking about? - We don't want to be late for Jill. 228 00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:19,286 - Jill's my boss. - Oh. 229 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:22,919 - Oh, uh... I... - You know, I gotta get going anyway. 230 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:26,453 Well, Tim, you know, if you feel like hanging out a little longer, 231 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:30,263 then I could always just drive you to work in the morning. 232 00:14:32,504 --> 00:14:34,563 What kinda car do you got? 233 00:14:39,912 --> 00:14:41,812 Tim. 234 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,845 Morning? Well, then you would... 235 00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:49,979 Well, it was great meeting you. 236 00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,920 Maybe we can get together again? 237 00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:55,483 Hey, who knows? In the future, down the line, our paths may cross. 238 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,324 How about tomorrow night? 239 00:14:57,429 --> 00:14:58,794 We'd love to! 240 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:02,595 That's great! Then the four of us have a date right here at 8:00. 241 00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:04,192 I can't wait. 242 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,431 Don't worry about the drinks, they're on me. 243 00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:07,800 Thanks. Bye. 244 00:15:17,182 --> 00:15:18,843 What are you thinking about? 245 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,476 You got me into a date! 246 00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:24,511 Well, I, I wanted to see Kathy again and I didn't want Donna to feel left out. 247 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:29,152 And you... You were so cold to her, she probably thinks you're not interested. 248 00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:32,958 I'm not interested, I'm married, you idiot! 249 00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:38,899 Well, that's no excuse for bad manners. 250 00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,965 Let's talk about bad manners. 251 00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,703 Lying for two hours saying you hosted Tool Time? 252 00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:50,072 Ok, I did, but I can clear all that up tomorrow night on our date. 253 00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:53,380 Perfect. While you clear that up, clear up why I'm not gonna be there. 254 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,784 No, no, no, you have to come with me. Just... 255 00:15:55,854 --> 00:15:58,345 ...fly with me one more time, you're my copilot. 256 00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,892 Not spending the night here with a beautiful woman 257 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,655 who worships the ground I stand on. 258 00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:04,821 I'm gonna spend the night with my wife. 259 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:15,929 Hey, Dad, you all ready for your big date tonight? 260 00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:20,737 It's not a date, I'm actually breaking up with her tonight. 261 00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:24,375 Already? 262 00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:26,179 That was a short romance. 263 00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:29,618 There was never a romance, there never will be a romance. 264 00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:31,986 Well, not with that attitude. 265 00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:36,959 Fellas, the only reason I'm going down there tonight, 266 00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,395 is I don't trust Al to tell that woman I'm married. 267 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:40,465 Maybe it's just me, 268 00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:44,297 but shouldn't you have told her you're married on the first date? 269 00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:47,464 And you're supposed to be our role model. 270 00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:52,977 Whoa! Why are you wearing that? 271 00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:56,537 - For the date I'm going on. - You can't wear that. 272 00:16:56,615 --> 00:17:00,676 If these pants were any tighter, my navel would be under my Adam's apple. 273 00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:04,222 Well, I know. I want you to wear looser pants. 274 00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:07,656 - You look way too sexy. - I thought you wanted me to look sexy. 275 00:17:07,726 --> 00:17:10,820 To pick up a woman, not break up with one. 276 00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:14,121 So I dress like a slob? 277 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:18,067 Yeah, just dress the way you normally do, the rest will take care of itself. 278 00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:24,239 So, Kathy, what is it like 279 00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:27,472 working for a company that manufactures spools? 280 00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:29,547 It's great. 281 00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:32,584 Really? Where do you learn about spools? 282 00:17:32,684 --> 00:17:34,777 Spool school? 283 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,653 I'm gonna tell her the truth right now. 284 00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,027 And then you go to graduate spool? 285 00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:51,998 Just wait till I make another date with Kathy. 286 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:56,136 - Tim, how do you feel about marriage? - Hate it. 287 00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:58,142 What? 288 00:17:58,210 --> 00:18:00,974 - Wow, how about kids? - I had a vasectomy. 289 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,213 Really? That is terrific. 290 00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:08,676 Well, it's not as much fun as it sounds. 291 00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:12,118 I have always felt that marriage was very confining 292 00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:17,060 and that kids greatly take away from the raw power of the sexual experience. 293 00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:22,127 Have you noticed the mustard stain on these chinos? 294 00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:26,337 I'm not looking at the mustard, I'm looking at the buns. 295 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:29,339 Hello! Whoa, whoa, whoa. 296 00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:32,900 I have to go to the little mechanics room, Al, you wanna join me? 297 00:18:32,978 --> 00:18:34,673 - Huh? - Go change our oil. 298 00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:36,771 - Huh? - Flush our coolants. 299 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,316 What? 300 00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:40,947 Pee. 301 00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:49,858 - This charade's gotta stop. - What? 302 00:18:49,928 --> 00:18:53,796 - We gotta tell those women the truth. - Wait till after the shrimp cocktail. 303 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:57,131 I'm tired of lying. I hate her touching me, 304 00:18:57,202 --> 00:19:00,228 I can't pretend to be something that I'm not. 305 00:19:08,747 --> 00:19:11,807 Perfect timing. Look, the shrimp cocktail just arrived. 306 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:15,149 - Hey, before we eat... - Hey, Tim, look! Tiger prawns. 307 00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:19,250 Before we eat, I want to make a confession. 308 00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:22,020 You're not really on TV, are you? 309 00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:25,621 No, no, we are. But, Tim is actually the star. 310 00:19:25,697 --> 00:19:27,858 Yeah, they call me "The Tool Man." 311 00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:30,298 Ooh, I bet they do. 312 00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:34,238 They call me the married tool man. 313 00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,870 Aww, man. 314 00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:38,705 - But, but it's not his fault. - No. 315 00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:41,278 You see, I, I was recovering from a break-up 316 00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,678 and I was feeling uneasy about dating again. 317 00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:47,116 - So, I asked Tim to... - Deceive my best friend? 318 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,949 And you lied to me. 319 00:19:49,054 --> 00:19:52,546 Well, I hope this doesn't affect our future. 320 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,457 It can't. Because there is no future. 321 00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,553 Just checking. 322 00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:03,599 Does your wife know you're at a singles bar? 323 00:20:06,104 --> 00:20:08,664 It was her idea. 324 00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,505 Oh, you showbiz people are sick. 325 00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:19,179 I hate the single life. 326 00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:22,379 Well, this singles thing is a lot tougher than I thought. 327 00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,615 I should never have lied to her. 328 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,850 No, you shouldn't have lied to her. 329 00:20:27,759 --> 00:20:30,193 But, she liked you for a while. 330 00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:32,162 She did, didn't she? 331 00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:34,899 It was a good first step. 332 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:38,061 If it wasrt for you, I wouldn't have been here to take that. 333 00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:41,367 Thanks to you, Tim, I... I've gained my confidence back! 334 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,670 And I learned something about spools. 335 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:48,546 You don't need me to find women. You're, you're... 336 00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:51,482 ...check out 3:00. 337 00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:53,580 No, 3:00. 338 00:20:56,688 --> 00:20:58,656 Excuse me. 339 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,063 Excuse me. 340 00:21:06,131 --> 00:21:09,760 Hi, I'm Al Borland and I would like to buy you a drink. 341 00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:11,803 Oh, I don't drink. 342 00:21:11,903 --> 00:21:15,532 Mostly I just sit here building forts out of swizzle sticks. 343 00:21:22,547 --> 00:21:25,015 Hello, again. I'm Richard. 344 00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:27,313 You like jazz? 345 00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:40,264 Not to worry, I've got emergency towelettes in my car. 346 00:21:41,066 --> 00:21:43,967 Emergency toilettes. 347 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:46,163 He can't get... toilets. 348 00:21:54,546 --> 00:21:58,573 What's the matter with you you just got... 349 00:21:59,305 --> 00:22:05,481 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.SubtitleDB.org 27628

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