All language subtitles for Who.Is.America.S01E04.720p.WEB.H264-DEFLATE

Ask not what
your country can do for you.

Ask what you can do
for your country.

Mr. Gorbachev,

tear down this wall!

The only thing we have to fear

is fear itself!

"Uhh,
I don't know what I said. Uhh!"

Sheket bevakasha.

My name Sergeant Erran Morad.

Many people ask me,
"Erran, what the probability

that Islamic terrorists
attack my workplace?"

And the truthful answer is,
it not very likely,

only about 83 percent.

Yalla.
Let's go.

Tell me, how did you help
the president?

Well, I was an elected
Trump delegate from Alabama,

so I helped elect Donald Trump
president of the U.S.

The U.S. Supreme Court
ruled in my favor

in the case
that bears my name,

McCutcheon vs.
Federal Election Commission.

Well, the latest case would go

even further
than Citizens United.

What comes out
of the McCutcheon case

could forever change the amount
of money you can donate.

How does that not, at some
point, lead to corruption?

I have a large concern
about terrorism

and the fact that terrorism
is possibly coming

to the United States
more than it already has.

What do you do when
there is a terror attack?

I've heard, but I've never
seen it in person

or, you know, been close to it.

In America,
the official response

is run, hide, tell.

In Israel,

it is hide,

infiltrate, violence.

We adapt the office

-to be ready to hide.
-Okay.

The terrorist is coming!

-Bang.
-Bang.

Good.

Okay.
Careful, your head.

Now I teach you
how to make protection

in your own office, okay?
-Yes, sir.

You are pretending
to be on the phone.

-Are these real hands?
-No.

They are what?

Artificial, prosthetic,
specially designed.

They look
just like my real hands.

-Okay.
-Hey, Zan, this is Shaun.

Can you hurry back
from Mississippi?

We got some problems
on this control panel,

and I don't know-- Hold up.
I'm on the phone. Bang!

-Good.
-Makes sense.

Do you know
about magen zahav?

No, sir.

Magen zahav
is the shield of pork.

Have you heard of this?

No, sir,
never heard of it.

What do the Muslim
terrorist fear most?

Uh, pork.

The terrorist is coming here.
Show the pork.

Pork. Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang!

I love pork, though,
especially barbecue ribs.

Hmm.

And there is another shield
twice as effective

because they run away.

They are so scared
of the image.

One, two, three.

Show the shield.

You're a homo. You're a homo.
You're a homo.

Okay.
One more time,

both of you attacking me.

-Pork. Pork!
-You're gay! You're gay!

-Pork! Pork!
-You're gay! You're gay!

-Pork. Pork!
-You're gay!

What if he come,
you have no weapon?

What do you do?

-Infiltrate.
-Okay.

How do we infiltrate?

Uh, we become
one of them.

If he come here,
you are praying.

You turn your cubicle

into a mosque

so that they will
believe it.

When they see it quickly,
they believe it is a mosque.

You have 30 second.

Three, two.

-Faster.
-Got to wear the hat.

Put it on.

Put it on.

Slippers!

Faster!

Genie bottle.

Quick.

The terrorist is coming. Bang!
You hear banging.

What are you doing?

-Playing the flute.
-Why?

Uh, raise the snake.

-You are Muslim?
-Yes, sir.

-What is your name?
-Abdul.

What did you just eat?

-Hummus.
-Good.

This is the method,
hide, infiltrate, violence.

H.I.V.

Okay.

I did not invent HIV.

It was given to me

by my instructor,
who is now dead.

When I give you the HIV,
I want you to spread it, okay?

Yes, sir.

You promise to give HIV
to your friends?

Yes, sir, the ones
that can handle it.

I want you to be prepared.

I want you to be
HIV-positive, okay?

Okay.

I'm Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello,

and I believe that the world's
most dangerous chemical weapon

is testosterone.

Two weeks after the election
was stolen

from President Hillary Clinton,
I managed to get out of bed.

I've been cycling through
our fractured nation,

listening respectfully
without prejudice,

to ignorant, racist Republicans

with the hope of changing
their childish views

to try and heal the divide.

I was struggling
to get inside the mind

of the adult Trump voter.

So, today, I'm meeting
with a notable conservative

to understand his views
on pornography.

Hi. My name's David Pyne,
Salt Lake City, Utah.

This is so wonderful
to meet you,

and I really think this is
important and pleasurable.

Absolutely.
Yeah.

From my perspective,
I-I would be happier,

more comfortable,
going back to,

for example,
prayer in schools,

more local control
of schools,

maybe abstinence-only
sex education...

Yeah.
...to focus on helping kids --

teenage kids realize that
the benefits of staying --

staying chaste
until marriage.

Children and pornography --
This is currently a big issue.

Do you agree with that?

Oh, absolutely, yeah.

I can't always be alongside
my children

when they watch
pornography.

Can you?

No, and that's why, uh --

That's why I'm saying there
needs to be more controls.

I mean,
in my perfect world,

I would love to criminalize
hard-core Internet pornography.

I would actually go further
and say if we want

to keep it legal for adults,
let's have an opt-in.

And the opt-in
would create a database,

and the database
would -- would add

that person's name
in the database, so...

Of masturbators.
So -- Well, yes.

And --
So it would be
a masturbation database.

You could call it that.

I adore children.
I love children.

And I use

the Latin word "love,"
"-phile";

"children," "pedo-."

So I am a pedophile,

in that I love children,

and I've reclaimed
that word,

because it's been stolen
by the abusers.

I love children.
I am a proud pedophile.

I am a pedophile.

I think, uh --
Are you a pedophile?

I am not a pedophile.

So you do not love children?

I love children.

We are
a couple of pedophiles.

We should be proud of that.
I am not a pedophile.

Can we both, at least,
sit here today

and say that we are
both proud pedophiles?

Absolutely not.

At what age do you believe that
it is acceptable for a child

to view any form
of pornography?

Well, my pedophile friend,
I would say 11 or 12.

Don't call me that.

No, but --
I am not a pedophile.

I was merely saying that we
both have respect for children,

and as you know,
I'm trying to reclaim that word.

Okay.
So that was a term of respect,

by calling you
my pedophile friend.

I disagree with --
with that definition,

and I am offended
if you use it in relation to me.

If there was a register that
I could sign up to to, uh...

Then I would
happily do that.

Well, there probably is.

Oh, well, we know,
myself and Naomi, my partner --

Is -- Is Naomi, um,
a male or a female?

She identifies as a female.

Okay. Is she
physically female?

She has, um,

a round vagina.

Um...

So she doesn't have
male genitalia?

She has no phallus.

She has nipples...
Okay.

...although they
are attached to swollen,

uh, mammaries.
Okay.

And she has pubic hair

that is unkempt and, uh --

That's more detail
than I require.

Oh.
Yeah.

Our company
has handled heads of state.

We've got quite
a few billionaires.

Who?
Some of the largest yachts
in the world are built

by a company
named Lurssen.

Sure.
In Germany.

And those are ranging from
$200 million to $300 million.

I'm not gonna be covering
all the costs.

Okay.

So, there's --
there's gonna be a co-owner,

although not officially
on the boat.

Mm-hmm.

I can't say his name,
but, um...

he would be very "Assad"
if I told you his name.

You know, he's a very
"Syria"-s guy, you know?

So, this guy,
I've done business with him.

So is that okay?
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I don't have a problem
with it.

And it's much better you deal
with me than with Assad.

So, let's talk about
the security of the boat --

what kind of military hardware
we could have on the boat.

If you can think of it,
they can do it.

Oh, beautiful.

Listen.

He's a persecuted man,
this guy, you know?

And he's very paranoid.

Of course.
He's paranoid.

You can have
a helicopter hangar.

You can have
a safe room.

Antiaircraft.
Antiaircraft.

Guns or something like that.
Guns and...

But you could also
have it discreet,

where you see the boat go by,
you'd never know.

I mean, let's talk about
the Syrian refugees

in the Mediterranean.

What I don't want is that one
of the dinghies capsize

if 50 of them
are in the water,

and they're -- they're
trying to come on the --

No, that won't happen.
How do I stop that?

I mean, could you put
electricity in the water?

Yeah.
You could.

'Cause those guys are drowning
anyway in the Mediterranean.

No one cares.

You've got guns on board.

Sure. And you
can shoot them and get --

I mean, let's say we're in
a place where no one can see.

And people don't know
about it.

Then, fine, yes.
Okay.

What about a flammable liquid
or something like that?

Can you put that
in there?

Yeah.

These guys, they like
to have a lot of girls.

Is it possible to have
a quarters for the girls?

Absolutely.

But ones where we can put
quite a lot in, you know.

You can do
anything you want.

Sure, but let's say that
I'm just shipping the girls in

from Eastern Europe
into Damascus.

You know, how much
of the merchandise can I ship?

All right. So, now you're
looking at -- As a -- As a...

And you're actually
moving humans?

Yeah, I mean,
they're girls, you know?

They're humans, yeah.
So, let's say we --
Yeah.

You can put ten in a room
if you want.

Put 20 in a room
if you want.

20? What,
by stacking them up in a --
Yeah.

I mean, could we do
more than 20 in a room?

Yeah, 30 per room.

We could have
a 30-per-room, okay.
Yeah.

If they want it, and they want
to write the check for it,

it can be done.

What else?
I mean, in terms of --

What about the designers?

Let's say I want to offer
a different suite

designed
by a famous designer.

Is that possible?
Yeah.

You know, but I wanted the boat
to be beautiful.

Okay, si, si, si, si.
Yeah.

You could.

But, um...what --

But, uh, so, what --
Who could be a designer?

You're gonna have to abide

by a certain
structural classification.

I want a design
that is, uh...

you know, gonna last,
but be beautiful.

I want people to come
onto the boat and say,

"This boat
is a beautiful boat."

And the Lurssen,
they have a good quality?

The best.

There's only maybe...

...eight
or nine builders

that can achieve that
on the world.

Because I need to really

Because I need
to really, really

to not, uh, divulge
any of the --

if I give you my assets.

Then if you know
about the assets,

then I don't want you
telling other people.

With this thing,
would we found out --

We did an audit.

It cost a lot of money
for us,

but we found it was worth it.
Mm-hmm.

Do you mind
if we do an audit?

I wouldn't mind, but that
depends on the yard now.

'Cause they're gonna contract
and we have a build contract.

And it states it'll be --

It'll state everything
that's going to happen,

the pricing and such.

Si.

And the --

How will I know the quality
of your work is up to scratch?

Well, time and delivery.

Si.

And how do you deal
with confidentia-a-lity?

The NDAs are going
all over the place.

So, um...

Finito.
I like to have fun.

Gio likes to have fun.
I-I can see that.

Because I work too hard
to not have fun.

Understand.
You know, I very enjoy.

Hello, people.

It's me, OMGWhizzBoyOMG.

Dab, dab.
Jazz hands.

And, today,
I've got a special guest.

It's not just me unboxing.

No, I'm with
Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

Ah.

And he is
the toughest sheriff in America.

The tent city that you
would house detainees in,

which you yourself called
a concentration camp.

I already have
a concentration camp.

It's called Tent City.

It's former Maricopa
County sheriff Joe Arpaio's

own words on immigration

that now have him convicted
of a federal crime.

I stand by my pardon
of Sheriff Joe.

Really, really OMG
to meet you.

Well, great to meet you.

Everybody!
Oh. Wow.

So amazing week!
Look at this!

We are unboxing
Shopkins World Vacation!

So, I'm going to unbox
this Shopkin.

While I'm doing that,
why not tell me about

what Communists
are trying to do

to stop people
having guns?

Well, that's a big issue.

But it's -- I will say,

over and over again --
Guns don't kill.

People kill.
OMG!

Super-crazy!

It's D'lish Donut.

D'lish Donut.

That looks good.

D'lish Donut, do you
want to say hello?

Hi.
D'lish Donut is anti-guns.

"I think all the guns
should be given back."

Delicious Donut, you have
to understand that,

uh, you have to follow
the Constitution and the law

and allow people
to have guns.

"But I want the guns
to be taken back,

because
they are dangerous."

Bad guys are going
to get their guns.

And it's gonna kill you.

I'm hoping that somebody else
in there has a gun

and will shoot that person
before he shoots you.

"Oh!
Okay, then.

Thank you
for telling me that."

Because I like guns.

Everybody knows I've got
a really big collection.

I have over 43 guns.

You have 43 guns?

Oh, yes.

I've been collecting them
for the upcoming race war.

And so...

You know
President "Dongle Troomp"?

Of course I know him.

And what's he like,
Dongle Troomp?

Great man.

I've been with him,
introduced him,

from day one,
from all the campaign.

Is Dongle Troomp
very rich?

Oh, he's got money,

but, you know,
he doesn't act like he's rich.

So, do you think
President Troomp --

He's your friend.

Do you think he might have
had a golden shower?

Wouldn't surprise me.

Oh!

I would love to have
a golden shower.

Do you think there's
any way you could get

President Troomp

to give me
a golden shower?

In Finland?

Or in America. In Washington.
In the White "Hoose"!

Well, I'll --
I'll tell you one thing.

If he sees this, uh,
and the way you're speaking,

he's gonna like you,

because you're -- you think
like he thinks.

And this is very,
very interesting.

And --
And let me tell you,

I became sheriff
when I was 60 years old.

My first job was
a hand job from my mother,

and it was newspapers.

What was
your first hand job?

So, let me say this.

Me.

Whatever I did in my life,

I always did that extra.

It gets me in trouble
sometimes.

You wanted to give
the best hand job possible.

Extra, sometimes.

Oh!

So if Dongle Troomp
calls you up after this

and says, "Sheriff Joe,

I want to offer you
an amazing blowjob,"

would you say yes?

I may have to say yes.

I know there are
a lot of children

who have been traumatized
by seeing pornography.

To combat that,
I've actually written a book.

It's a work in progress.

I'd love to show it to you.
Excellent.

It's called "Flopsy
Finds a Funny Picture."

And I'll read a little bit,
if I may.

"Flopsy found a funny picture
while playing today.

It looked like a mommy
and daddy wrestling.

So they decided to talk
to Mommy.

'Mommy,
what are these rabbits

doing
with their "down theres"?'

'Oh, my!'
said Mommy Rabbit.

'We better have a talk
in the learning nook.'"

So, I'll continue.
Okay.

"'Sometimes,'"
they tell their child,

"'people look at pictures
like the ones you saw

to receive gratification.

It is called "self-stimulating"
or "masturbating."'"

I think that, uh...

this book's a little bit
too much, uh, for me.

In what way?
The colors?

Well, we don't have
to show, um,

a picture of an animal
with sex toys on the bed--

the bedroom table, uh,
or an Internet,

uh, computer monitor

showing,
uh, rabbit breasts.

Oh, these are good notes.
Yeah.

Well, if I may continue.

So, other times,
the mother said,

"Lady rabbits make love
to man rabbits

just to get 50 bucks
to feed their carrot habit."

And I-I have to be honest,
I have issues with this image.

Mm-hmm.
I mean, what's going on here?

That should be recycled.

I have no issue with, uh,
the recycle bags, personally.

Um...
I understand why you would.

"Daddy said, 'Do you have
any other questions?'

Flopsy's ears perked up.

'I still don't know
what is bukkake.'

'I think it's best if you see
for yourself,' said Daddy.

'I'll invite in Todd, Jordan,
and Dan from across the street.

This way, I can teach you
all about Japan

and the rights of females
to enjoy themselves.'"

And we have
a bukkake party.

With the child...

present or not present?
The -- The children
are present.

The children are present,
and she's engaging

in sexual acts
with more than one male rabbit.

Well, it is
a bukkake party, which is --

I don't know --
I don't know what that is.

Since you've helped me
so much

and you've given me
so many comments,

I would like to add you
as a co-author of this book.

No.
Absolutely --

You do -- You do not have
my permission to do that.

I will add you as a co-author.
I will not accept that,

and I will -- I promise
to sue you if you do.

I want to open up and tell you
a personal experience

to do with me
and my children.

I recently walked in
on my son, Harvey Milk,

looking at pornographic images
on the Internet,

and it was very troubling.

And how old was --
was your son at that time?

Uh, 12.
Okay.

And I knew that
he had been masturbating.

I said, "Son,

I am going to stay here,
right in this room,

until you have masturbated

to every single image

on that website."

Now, what I did not know

was that
there were 58,000 images

and videos
on that website.

And I tried to maintain
eye contact

throughout
the whole process,

because I wanted it
to be a teachable moment.

Two days later,
he was exhausted.

He was extremely raw
and dehydrated,

both from not drinking enough
and from the weeping.

The positive thing
for me is,

whenever I bring up
pornography,

he shudders.

Uh, if your son has been
scared off of pornography,

that is certainly
a positive outcome.

Um, not saying
that I would have,

uh, used
the same teaching method.

I want to thank you.
I want to say thank you.

It's been great here, sitting
with my, uh, fellow pedophile

and co-author --
Uh, no, no.

Absolutely not.
I'm --

First of all, you are not
to make me a co-author,

or I will have to file
a lawsuit immediately.

I will not have my name
associated

with any of your book
projects that you've --

you have brought forward
and presented today.

And if you do that,
I will be extremely offended,

I will be extremely hurt,

and I will be extremely
triggered by you.

You have caused me to have
more negative energy

than I've ever had,
based on that behavior,

and it's unacceptable,
and it's hurtful,

and offensive
beyond words.