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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:01:14,229 --> 00:01:18,580
I want you to sit down
so I can wash this horrible jacket.
3
00:01:18,669 --> 00:01:21,340
Enough. I don't want to hear
another word out of you guys.
4
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,179
Sit down.
5
00:01:23,269 --> 00:01:27,419
Boy, you really did it this time, didn't you?
You really did it.
6
00:01:27,509 --> 00:01:31,580
I just wanna thank you, boys,
for the most embarrassing night of my life.
7
00:01:31,669 --> 00:01:34,019
We are the only family in 12 years
8
00:01:34,110 --> 00:01:39,130
to have been kicked out of
Wacky Jack's Pizza Pagoda.
9
00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,259
It takes a lot of work
to get kicked out of a restaurant
10
00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:44,540
that has a trampoline
and a batting cage.
11
00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:47,900
- But Dad…
- No buts. That's it.
12
00:01:47,989 --> 00:01:52,699
It was Wacky Jack's fault.
He was making those stupid faces at us.
13
00:01:52,790 --> 00:01:55,459
He's a clown. That's his job.
14
00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:59,330
- We didn't do anything.
- We didn't do anything.
15
00:01:59,429 --> 00:02:02,140
Does this look familiar?
Wacky Jack's nose.
16
00:02:02,229 --> 00:02:05,659
You pulled it right off his face.
17
00:02:05,749 --> 00:02:08,019
- It's not his real nose.
- I don't care whose nose it is.
18
00:02:08,110 --> 00:02:10,019
Don't pull things off people's faces.
19
00:02:10,110 --> 00:02:12,179
Hey. You know what
you guys are gonna do?
20
00:02:12,269 --> 00:02:14,780
You're gonna take this nose,
you're gonna put it in an envelope,
21
00:02:14,870 --> 00:02:17,820
you're gonna sign a little apology note
and send it back to Wacky Jack.
22
00:02:17,909 --> 00:02:20,019
And right now you're gonna get
out of my sight.
23
00:02:20,110 --> 00:02:22,300
- Go up to your rooms. March. March.
- Up. Up. Up.
24
00:02:22,390 --> 00:02:24,769
If I hear any noise upstairs.
I'll be up there.
25
00:02:24,870 --> 00:02:27,100
and if I have to come up there
you won't want me up there.
26
00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:29,419
- We weren't even doing anything.
- No, quiet. Now.
27
00:02:29,509 --> 00:02:31,380
We want to watch Full House
and we didn't do it.
28
00:02:31,469 --> 00:02:32,499
No.
29
00:02:32,590 --> 00:02:35,340
I just want you to know
I'm innocent.
30
00:02:35,429 --> 00:02:36,699
Innocent.
31
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:41,499
Pouring salad dressing
down your brother's pants?
32
00:02:41,590 --> 00:02:44,900
- Oh. You saw that?
- Yeah, I saw that.
33
00:02:46,229 --> 00:02:49,140
Tim, this is pathetic.
34
00:02:49,229 --> 00:02:52,769
We've sunk to a new low. Pizza.
35
00:02:52,870 --> 00:02:54,739
Yeah, if you take off
those mushrooms first.
36
00:02:54,830 --> 00:02:58,610
- Those aren't mushrooms, honey.
- I'll pass.
37
00:02:58,709 --> 00:03:02,820
- Would you nuke that for me?
- Nuke it yourself.
38
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:09,820
Don't give me that.
You cook for us all the time.
39
00:03:09,909 --> 00:03:13,820
Me barbecue.
Cook outside with flame.
40
00:03:13,909 --> 00:03:16,100
Microwave inside, cook with magic.
41
00:03:16,189 --> 00:03:19,140
flame good, magic bad.
42
00:03:19,229 --> 00:03:21,820
Microwave good, man stupid.
43
00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:27,169
Easy, monkey boy.
fire's our friend.
44
00:03:27,269 --> 00:03:29,259
HeY@
45
00:03:30,830 --> 00:03:33,179
Tim, come on.
46
00:03:33,269 --> 00:03:37,140
You're gonna drip cheese
all over my stove.
47
00:03:37,229 --> 00:03:41,140
Not to mention burn the hair
right off my knuckles. Man.
48
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:47,979
I'm gonna count to three
and then I'm gonna be up there. One, mo…
49
00:03:48,070 --> 00:03:50,820
Dad. Brad and Randy
are doing bad things.
50
00:03:50,909 --> 00:03:54,530
Unless it involves human sacrifice
I don't want to hear about it.
51
00:03:54,630 --> 00:03:57,459
OK. I'll let you know.
52
00:04:00,189 --> 00:04:02,699
Little baboons.
Where do they learn this stuff?
53
00:04:02,790 --> 00:04:06,140
Possibly from the big baboon.
54
00:04:08,429 --> 00:04:11,459
Yes, you. You encourage
their bad behavior.
55
00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:14,259
- I don't encourage bad behavior.
- Oh, yeah?
56
00:04:14,350 --> 00:04:19,019
Tonight, when Brad spit his chewing gum
across into that plant, you cheered.
57
00:04:19,110 --> 00:04:22,860
Jill, that was a 10.
12-foot arc, easy.
58
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:28,540
Right into a six-inch pot, man. Michael
Jordan couldn't have made that shot, huh?
59
00:04:28,630 --> 00:04:30,659
- And I did tell him to stop, too.
- Oh, yeah.
60
00:04:30,749 --> 00:04:33,540
after you gave him a standing ovation.
61
00:04:33,630 --> 00:04:36,300
I may be wrong but I think
that's sending a mixed signal.
62
00:04:36,390 --> 00:04:37,449
Enough said.
63
00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:40,110
Now, what are we gonna do
about our boys' table manners?
64
00:04:40,189 --> 00:04:43,140
- You should give a refresher course.
- Me? What about you?
65
00:04:43,229 --> 00:04:46,540
Honey, I'm a man.
What do I know about manners?
66
00:04:49,110 --> 00:04:52,650
I see. So table manners
are the woman's job.
67
00:04:52,749 --> 00:04:55,620
Historically. Jill,
yes, that's the case.
68
00:04:55,709 --> 00:04:58,380
Emily Post. Amy Vanderbilt.
69
00:04:58,469 --> 00:05:02,419
and, of course.
who could forget Miss Manners?
70
00:05:02,509 --> 00:05:08,659
I don't recall an etiquette column
called "Ask Chuck".
71
00:05:08,749 --> 00:05:10,459
"You know. Chuck.
I've been eating pot roast all my life.
72
00:05:10,550 --> 00:05:13,179
get that little gristle piece stuck
in the middle of my tooth."
73
00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:16,890
"Do you suck it out with the tongue
or ask somebody to do it? Help me out."
74
00:05:16,989 --> 00:05:18,050
- Tim…
- "Haul that thing out."
75
00:05:18,150 --> 00:05:20,780
Listen. You are the one
that encouraged their bad behavior.
76
00:05:20,870 --> 00:05:23,100
therefore you should have to be the
one to teach them good behavior.
77
00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:26,620
- We should do this together.
- No, no. You're the transgressor.
78
00:05:26,709 --> 00:05:29,860
I never wear your clothes.
79
00:05:32,350 --> 00:05:34,019
All right. I do like that taffeta gown.
80
00:05:34,110 --> 00:05:36,570
- I feel so pretty.
- You know what I'm talking about.
81
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,380
What do you want me to do?
82
00:05:38,469 --> 00:05:42,419
I want this family get through a meal
without the boys throwing their food.
83
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:45,419
or gargling their milk
or talking about boogers.
84
00:05:45,509 --> 00:05:49,380
- A meal without boogers.
- Yeah, see? Never gonna happen.
85
00:05:49,469 --> 00:05:51,739
- I can give you a perfect meal.
- Yeah, when?
86
00:05:51,830 --> 00:05:54,580
- When's gonna be this perfect meal?
- Tomorrow night.
87
00:05:54,669 --> 00:05:58,370
Tomorrow night I'll sit the boys down.
We'll have a man-to-manners talk.
88
00:05:58,469 --> 00:06:01,219
You are going to have
three perfect gentlemen.
89
00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:03,870
- Come on. Wow! Look at that!
- Whoa, what was that?
90
00:06:03,949 --> 00:06:06,100
Oh, wow, yeah!
91
00:06:06,189 --> 00:06:10,380
Honey, what is this? What are you…
Where are you going?
92
00:06:10,469 --> 00:06:13,860
Brad and Randy
threw my mattress out the window.
93
00:06:13,949 --> 00:06:16,219
- That's it. I'm coming up there.
- Honey, honey, honey.
94
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:19,340
you don't have to sleep outside.
95
00:06:29,669 --> 00:06:32,780
So Al and I
have finished that subfloor.
96
00:06:36,189 --> 00:06:40,659
And next time, we'll show you how to lay
tongue-and-groove hardwood flooring.
97
00:06:40,749 --> 00:06:43,540
Al, what size floorboard
are we using on that. Al?
98
00:06:43,630 --> 00:06:46,979
Tim, they're three inches wide
by one eighth of an inch thick.
99
00:06:47,070 --> 00:06:50,380
They'll be fastened down by driving a nail
at a 45-degree angle
100
00:06:50,469 --> 00:06:52,769
- through their longitudinal tongue.
- Oh!
101
00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:55,699
That's gotta hurt, huh?
102
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,620
But we do that to hide
the nail, don't we?
103
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:01,540
That's right. Tim.
104
00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:08,300
I know that sounds complicated.
but it's not.
105
00:07:08,390 --> 00:07:11,820
And what you'll end up with is
an absolutely beautiful dining-room floor.
106
00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:16,100
Speaking of dining rooms, that brings me
to today's Tool Tip for Too/ Time.
107
00:07:16,189 --> 00:07:20,699
It's about etiquette. It's a big word.
so get out your dictionary.
108
00:07:20,790 --> 00:07:23,659
See, the dining room needs mo things
to be complete.
109
00:07:23,749 --> 00:07:27,140
A floor, and manners.
110
00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:29,900
See, when men are together by ourselves.
we don't worry about manners, do we?
111
00:07:29,989 --> 00:07:31,459
Cos, hey, we don't need 'em.
112
00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:33,580
At the ball game, what's better
than a mustard fight with your buddies.
113
00:07:33,669 --> 00:07:36,019
or spit.., spitting beer?
114
00:07:36,110 --> 00:07:39,650
Hey, buddy. Hey!
Or my personal favorite.
115
00:07:39,749 --> 00:07:44,769
jamming mo big french fries up that nose.
acting like a walrus.
116
00:07:44,870 --> 00:07:45,820
Hey!
117
00:07:45,909 --> 00:07:48,860
It's guy stuff, and women don't appreciate
guy stuff and that's the truth.
118
00:07:48,949 --> 00:07:53,100
I don't think a woman really understands
the diaphragmatic control it takes
119
00:07:53,189 --> 00:07:56,810
to do all of the vowels
in one belch.
120
00:08:00,709 --> 00:08:03,540
A-E-I-O-U.
121
00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:08,259
Manners. Use manners.
It shows you're civilized.
122
00:08:08,350 --> 00:08:11,580
It tells women you're civilized.
and they'll keep doing things for you.
123
00:08:11,669 --> 00:08:14,860
So always remember that.
Use the correct fork.
124
00:08:14,949 --> 00:08:17,249
put the napkin in your lap.
125
00:08:17,350 --> 00:08:19,459
And always -
126
00:08:19,550 --> 00:08:21,659
I do mean always -
127
00:08:21,749 --> 00:08:25,499
excuse yourself
when you lose a little pressure.
128
00:08:26,110 --> 00:08:28,620
Because I want you
to remember, men.
129
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:32,019
the first three letters of "manners" are…
130
00:08:34,110 --> 00:08:37,140
See you next week.
131
00:08:43,229 --> 00:08:47,780
Look, Tim, I found this broccoli
in Randy's dirty clothes.
132
00:08:47,870 --> 00:08:49,380
Hm.
133
00:08:49,469 --> 00:08:52,659
Either he's hiding it
or not digesting properly.
134
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:53,860
Oh!
135
00:08:53,949 --> 00:08:57,570
You are so disgusting.
What is all this?
136
00:08:57,669 --> 00:09:00,540
I'm teaching my men some manners.
137
00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:03,939
- With wooden blocks.
- Rehearsal food, that's what that is.
138
00:09:04,030 --> 00:09:06,540
Gee, I hope they don't like it.
I don't have any recipes for wood.
139
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:10,219
Sure you do. That meat loaf
that you like so much.
140
00:09:12,189 --> 00:09:16,340
I don't mean to criticize, but is this
where you want to put the napkins?
141
00:09:16,429 --> 00:09:19,060
No. I want it in the proper spot.
142
00:09:19,150 --> 00:09:21,179
Let's see. There you go.
143
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:24,780
- That was right in the first place.
- Hey!
144
00:09:26,070 --> 00:09:28,370
You don't really think
I can do this, do you?
145
00:09:28,469 --> 00:09:29,689
- I didn't say that. Tim.
- Come on.
146
00:09:29,790 --> 00:09:31,820
You don't really think I can do it.
Say the words. Say it. Say it. Say it.
147
00:09:31,909 --> 00:09:36,179
Sweetheart, I just think that you cannot
teach that which you do not know.
148
00:09:36,269 --> 00:09:37,780
- Really?
- Really.
149
00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:43,580
I'll have you know that that which you think
I do not know is that which I know.
150
00:09:43,669 --> 00:09:45,459
No, no, no.
151
00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:48,540
- If I can't whip these boys into shape. I…
- What? What?
152
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,659
- I will give you anything you want.
- Anything?
153
00:09:51,749 --> 00:09:55,100
Anything. I know what you want.
154
00:09:57,550 --> 00:10:00,659
No, no, no. Tim.
That would be the consolation prize.
155
00:10:04,469 --> 00:10:08,979
I was thinking more along the line of
season tickets to the opera.
156
00:10:13,269 --> 00:10:16,810
That's a Greek word, isn't it?
"Death by music."
157
00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:19,469
- You said anything.
- If that's what you want, fine.
158
00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:22,419
But if I want to see
a screaming fat lady with horns.
159
00:10:22,510 --> 00:10:24,809
I'll go to your mom's house. Yeah.
160
00:10:29,389 --> 00:10:31,180
Now, listen, buddy.
A deal is a deal.
161
00:10:31,269 --> 00:10:36,260
I'm gonna call the Michigan
Opera Theater for ticket information.
162
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,429
You're wasting your time.
163
00:10:42,519 --> 00:10:44,750
Mark.
164
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,950
- Mark.
- Yeah. Dad?
165
00:10:48,039 --> 00:10:49,549
Mark?
166
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,629
What are you doing under there.
sweetheart?
167
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,470
Smelling the inside of the trash can.
168
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,990
- Why are you doing that?
- Brad said he'd give me a quarter if I did.
169
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,309
What, is Brad, like.
the garbage fairy now?
170
00:11:05,399 --> 00:11:08,309
- Why don't you go inside and wash up?
- OK.
171
00:11:08,399 --> 00:11:11,710
- Randy. Brad.
- Yeah?
172
00:11:11,799 --> 00:11:14,259
- Home now.
- How goes it, good neighbor?
173
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:17,190
Hiya. Wilson.
What are you making over there?
174
00:11:17,279 --> 00:11:19,309
Building a porcupine trap.
175
00:11:19,399 --> 00:11:24,629
Really? I don't think there's a whole lot of
porcupine in the Detroit area, are there?
176
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,789
Ah, but if you build it.
they will come.
177
00:11:30,279 --> 00:11:33,149
- What do you want. Dad?
- I want you to go sit down at the table.
178
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,799
- Brad. Can I have a moment with you?
- What?
179
00:11:35,879 --> 00:11:38,870
Your little brother was underneath
that garbage can, smelling it.
180
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,519
Where do you get these ideas?
181
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,029
They just come to me.
182
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,789
Why don't you go sit down?
Let me teach you boys some manners.
183
00:11:47,879 --> 00:11:49,870
- You owe me a quarter.
- No way.
184
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,029
- Dad.
- That's enough. That's enough, you guys.
185
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,269
Cut it out. Stop running around.
Stop, stop. Come here.
186
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,590
- Sit down. We've got work to do. Sit, sit.
- What are we doing?
187
00:11:56,679 --> 00:12:00,379
We're sitting down is what we're doing.
188
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:05,549
Now. I love you boys, but you are bad
news in the table manners department.
189
00:12:05,639 --> 00:12:08,200
- So we're gonna have a crash course.
- Why?
190
00:12:08,279 --> 00:12:11,590
Why? Because of what happened
in the restaurant last night. That's why.
191
00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:14,190
I told you.
it was that stupid clown's fault.
192
00:12:14,279 --> 00:12:15,750
You ought to go back
and punch him out. Dad.
193
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,350
HeY@
194
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:21,590
Never hit anybody with makeup -
that's the rule.
195
00:12:22,519 --> 00:12:26,269
Bottom line here, we are gonna
have a civilized meal.
196
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:30,110
and I set this table nicely.
Put those back.
197
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:35,669
A civilized meal means. Brad.
no hitting, pinching, kicking.
198
00:12:35,759 --> 00:12:38,590
all that jazz at the table you don't
think l see. I see it. Don't do it.
199
00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:43,190
Randy, none of these gross-out stories.
The boogers, the scab stuff.
200
00:12:43,279 --> 00:12:46,590
- Scabs that talk to boogers…
- Dad, can we talk about food?
201
00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:51,110
Hey. Hey, food. Perfect.
Let's talk food.
202
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:55,269
OK. Well, today in the cafeteria.
we made Bobby Devers laugh so hard
203
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:59,139
he shot peas out his nose.
204
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:02,029
- No way.
- It was excellent.
205
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:08,220
- Yeah, but did it have snot on it?
- We're not gonna talk snot tonight.
206
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,389
You're gonna come down the stairs
like little princes.
207
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:14,789
sit down, clean and washed up.
and look around and say:
208
00:13:14,879 --> 00:13:16,429
"Good evening. Mother."
209
00:13:16,519 --> 00:13:18,870
- Mom's not here.
- Pretend she's here.
210
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:21,710
- I'll be Mommy.
- No, you won't. Don't be Mommy.
211
00:13:21,799 --> 00:13:26,429
That scares me when you say stuff
like that. Have a seat here.
212
00:13:26,519 --> 00:13:28,470
Don't mind me.
Just pretend I'm not here.
213
00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:31,870
It'd be a lot easier to pretend
you weren't here if you weren't.
214
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,309
I won't say a word.
Do you need any help?
215
00:13:34,399 --> 00:13:36,549
Thanks, honey.
but I've got it all taken care of.
216
00:13:36,639 --> 00:13:38,470
Uh-huh. By the way.
I did call Michigan Opera Theater.
217
00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:42,750
There are plenty of good seats available.
218
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,870
You guys gotta help me out. You gotta
help me out. Let's take care of this.
219
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:51,389
If we don't do this right. I'm gonna
spend the next year at the opera.
220
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:02,789
All right, focus, focus, focus.
Eating is not just a necessity, it's a job.
221
00:14:02,879 --> 00:14:04,870
And like any job.
you need the proper tools.
222
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,470
These are the tools of the trade.
fork, knife, weaker sister, the spoon.
223
00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:13,070
Help me, help me, help me. Almost
useless, crude instruments by themselves.
224
00:14:13,159 --> 00:14:17,470
But together, they form
the mealtime triad of power.
225
00:14:21,639 --> 00:14:26,350
Tim. I hate to interrupt this gruntfest.
but dinner is less than mo hours away.
226
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:30,029
- Thanks for reminding me, pookie.
- You're welcome.
227
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,580
Now we've got to hustle up.
We've got to hustle up. Just the ba…
228
00:14:32,679 --> 00:14:35,029
Take the knife out of your mouth, please.
229
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:39,029
Just the basics, quick. Tonight's dinner.
do not eat with your hands.
230
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,899
Well, what if we're having chicken?
231
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:49,460
Chicken outdoors - use your hands.
chicken indoors - knife and fork.
232
00:14:49,559 --> 00:14:53,590
- What about live chicken?
- Live chicken?
233
00:14:53,679 --> 00:14:56,059
Brad, who the hell do you hang out with?
234
00:14:56,159 --> 00:14:57,750
- Mom.
- What?
235
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,059
- Dad's cussing.
- I'm not cussing.
236
00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:00,669
- He said a bad word.
- It wasn't bad.
237
00:15:00,759 --> 00:15:04,230
- Yeah, he said "hell" and "damn".
- I did not say "damn".
238
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,830
Now you did.
239
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,110
Control. Control. Control. That's it.
240
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,549
You guys now…
241
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,269
We do exactly as Dad does.
Listen up.
242
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:26,470
Sit up straight. Sit up straight.
Straight. Sit up straight.
243
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,470
Elbows off the table. Randy.
Randy. Elbows..
244
00:15:29,559 --> 00:15:31,429
- Stop that.
- Stop that.
245
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:33,830
- Stop that.
- Stop that.
246
00:15:33,919 --> 00:15:37,539
- Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that.
- Enough, enough, enough.
247
00:15:37,639 --> 00:15:41,029
Stop that, that's enough. Stop that.
that's enough. Stop that, that's enough.
248
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,429
- Don't repeat me.
- Stop that, that's enough, don't repeat me.
249
00:15:44,519 --> 00:15:49,149
Stop that, that's enough, don't repeat me.
Stop that, that's enough, don't repeat me.
250
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:53,389
Stop that, that's enough, don't repeat me.
Stop that, that's enough, don't repeat me.
251
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:58,070
Stop that, that's enough, don't repeat me.
Stop that, that's enough, don't repeat me.
252
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,750
- Wilson?
- Hiya. Tim.
253
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,190
Looks like you caught your first porcupine.
254
00:16:10,279 --> 00:16:13,309
No, just Mrs Foley's cat.
255
00:16:13,399 --> 00:16:17,549
Easy, fluffy. I'm trying to calm him down
a little bit before I set him loose.
256
00:16:17,639 --> 00:16:19,549
- He's not hurt, is he?
- No, no, no, no. Tim.
257
00:16:19,639 --> 00:16:22,019
This is a humane trap.
258
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:29,070
Course, that's my opinion, not Fluffy's.
259
00:16:29,159 --> 00:16:32,269
So, how was the powwow with the boys
about their table manners?
260
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:36,110
Wilson. I don't know. Those kids sit down
to dinner and they go nuts.
261
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,429
Tim. Tim. Tim.
The problem with your boys is
262
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:41,350
they don't know how to channel
their mealtime aggression.
263
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,629
Mealtime aggression?
264
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,830
See. Tim, primitive man was a hunter.
265
00:16:46,919 --> 00:16:49,070
He had an intimate relationship
with his food.
266
00:16:49,159 --> 00:16:52,389
- Lot of dating with wildebeest going on?
- No, no, no.
267
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,940
I'm talking about a spiritual intimacy.
268
00:16:55,039 --> 00:16:57,419
They were at one with their meat.
269
00:16:59,879 --> 00:17:04,349
The hunter would stalk and kill his prey.
then pay homage to the animal spirit.
270
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,230
He would give thanks to the animal
for giving its life.
271
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:09,509
But the primitive man in us is confused.
272
00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:14,789
Today our food comes to the table.
We don't know how it got there.
273
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,750
Gives you something to think about
when you open a can of Spam, doesn't it?
274
00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:19,750
Yes, indeedy.
275
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:23,150
- Thanks. Wilson.
- I think fluffy has calmed down now.
276
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,910
There you go, little buddy, freedom.
277
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,710
Well, with freedom comes responsibility.
278
00:17:39,519 --> 00:17:42,670
- I'm hungry.
- All I wanna do is play.
279
00:17:42,759 --> 00:17:47,190
Enough, enough, enough, guys.
Your mom wants one quiet meal
280
00:17:47,279 --> 00:17:51,910
and I'm gonna give it to her if I have to duct
tape you yard apes to those chairs, quiet.
281
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,869
OK. We'll do whatever you want tonight.
Can we go now?
282
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,789
No, no, you can't go now.
because I'm gonna tell you something.
283
00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:01,029
I know the reason why you guys get nuts
at the dinner table.
284
00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:06,430
Because you don't have
an intimate relationship with your food.
285
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,079
You don't respect what you're eating.
286
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,230
You're not getting this.
Let me show you what I mean. Hm.
287
00:18:12,319 --> 00:18:15,940
This is the chicken
we're having for dinner tonight.
288
00:18:16,039 --> 00:18:18,710
Oh, yuck. That looks gross.
289
00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:21,230
That's exactly my point.
290
00:18:21,319 --> 00:18:24,109
This bird gave its life so you could eat.
291
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,150
You should thank the bird.
292
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,700
Dad, have you lost it?
293
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,589
You're just missing it.
It… You don't get it. It…
294
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,950
It's simple. You guys would lose
your mealtime aggression
295
00:18:37,039 --> 00:18:41,190
if you had to hunt it
and kill it yourselves. Hm.
296
00:18:41,279 --> 00:18:45,059
Tell you what. I'll be the chicken.
you be the mighty hunters.
297
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:48,509
Stalk, hunt me, kill the chicken.
298
00:18:50,559 --> 00:18:54,630
What a wonderful day
to be a chicken and alive.
299
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,990
Oh. God, it's hunters. I'd better run.
300
00:18:58,079 --> 00:19:00,269
flee. Run, flee.
301
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:04,109
So they couldn't catch me, flee.
Run. Stalk, hunt, kill me. Run.
302
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:07,230
- Kill the chicken.
- Kill the chicken.
303
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:22,460
Kill the chicken. Kill the chicken.
304
00:19:22,559 --> 00:19:26,259
All right. I think the chicken's dead.
The chicken's dead.
305
00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:29,509
But the spirit of the chicken's still alive.
306
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,430
Oh.
307
00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,710
We gotta eat this thing now.
308
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:38,269
I am not eating that.
There's grass all over it.
309
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:42,349
- Does that bother you?
- Yeah. It's all dirty, gross, disgusting.
310
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,470
Oh, ho, ho.
311
00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:47,789
Haven't we learned something?
312
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,029
You know what?
313
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:53,029
I think what's dirty
and disgusting and gross
314
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:56,950
is when you guys come to the table
and tell your booger and scab stories.
315
00:19:57,039 --> 00:19:59,109
fight, kick, yell.
316
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,029
I think manners aren't respect
for your food.
317
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:05,470
but respect for people around you, maybe.
318
00:20:05,559 --> 00:20:07,390
You guys understand any of this stuff?
319
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:08,750
- Yeah.
- Yeah, kind of.
320
00:20:08,839 --> 00:20:11,349
Why don't you think about that
before tonight's dinner?
321
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,589
- Now what do we do?
- Whatever you want.
322
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,390
Kill the chicken again.
323
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:22,150
Randy, honey, do you want
some more mashed potatoes?
324
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,269
- No, thank you.
- How about you. Brad?
325
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:26,309
No, thank you.
326
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:30,309
"No, thank you. No, thank you".
That's very polite.
327
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,029
Tim, I gotta apologize.
328
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:36,660
I thought you couldn't give me one
quiet meal with the boys and you did it.
329
00:20:36,759 --> 00:20:40,029
We can kiss off Madame Butterfly,
can't we?
330
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:42,710
Not so fast.
331
00:20:42,799 --> 00:20:45,750
You didn't really teach them manners.
332
00:20:45,839 --> 00:20:48,299
You just exhausted them.
333
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,470
Take what you can get.
334
00:20:55,279 --> 00:20:58,230
I might just do that.
335
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,500
I'll be going upstairs now.
336
00:21:07,279 --> 00:21:09,869
You want company?
337
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,269
No. Just you.
338
00:21:17,519 --> 00:21:20,789
- Shouldn't we take the boys to bed?
- Nah. Leave them.
339
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:24,309
It'll only take a minute anyway.
340
00:21:28,759 --> 00:21:31,470
I'm feeling pretty spry, honey.
341
00:21:31,559 --> 00:21:34,630
Maybe a minute, five, minute, ten.
342
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,029
When laying down that hardwood floor.
you could use a hammer and nails.
343
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:57,579
But why would you? That'd take forever.
344
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:01,670
- I think what we need here is…
- More power.
345
00:22:01,759 --> 00:22:04,140
I was thinking right along
those lines myself.
346
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,750
Now. Look what Al
brought us out here.
347
00:22:05,839 --> 00:22:08,750
The Binford 3-11 series B
power nail driver.
348
00:22:08,839 --> 00:22:10,630
- Thank you. Al.
- You're welcome, Tim.
349
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,869
That's etiquette. Always thank your
coworker. Try to say something nice.
350
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,150
Al, good-looking slacks.
351
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:24,059
That bad boy's raw power.
352
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:28,589
The kind of power you need to attach
a phone book to a cinder-block wall.
353
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,470
Tim, you might want
to remind our viewers
354
00:22:30,559 --> 00:22:33,190
that the Binford 3-11
has that new safety lock.
355
00:22:33,279 --> 00:22:37,549
- I'm sure it does. Al.
- Well, it's been completely redesigned.
356
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,150
Al, I grew up with these things.
357
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,750
Heck, that is a little different
to what I'm used to seeing, isn't it?
358
00:22:42,839 --> 00:22:45,220
Well, all safeties
are basically a solenoid.
359
00:22:45,319 --> 00:22:49,430
Very impossible to shoot it
when you don't want to shoot it.
360
00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:00,509
Tell you what.
We'll go to a break right now.
361
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,829
- Get me out of this.
- Boy, that's gotta hurt.
362
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,630
Yeah, Al, it does.
Feels kinda like that.
363
00:23:07,305 --> 00:23:13,584
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