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11
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Peter, I just hit a pothole
in the road and got a flat.
12
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:41,332
The man who helped us gave her his card.
13
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:42,625
I'd keep an eye on that.
14
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,710
This town is falling apart.
15
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,588
Last week the bridge over
the collapsed bridge collapsed.
16
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,507
Well, you're a middle-aged woman
with no job.
17
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:51,425
Maybe you should get
really worked up about it.
18
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,761
You know what? I think I will.
19
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,846
I'm going down to city hall to complain.
20
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,641
This town needs a mayor.
21
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:03,021
Y-You forgot your baby. Miss?
22
00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:10,486
Thank you all for coming over
to help us find
23
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,488
the best candidate for mayor.
24
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:14,824
This room is so diverse, so I'm assuming
25
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,410
many of you have agendas.
26
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:20,871
But let's keep in mind we need
a mayor who will represent
27
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:23,708
all of Quahog and not just satisfy
28
00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:25,710
your weird little fringe issues,
29
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,296
which are important,
but not very important.
30
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:30,590
As a descendent
of Quahog's Puritan forefathers,
31
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,717
I think we should be able
to throw a woman into a pond
32
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,176
to see if she's a witch.
33
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,512
That seems a bit extreme,
don't you think?
34
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:40,224
That's exactly what a witch would say.
35
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,101
Lois, you're making this harder
than it needs to be.
36
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,020
Just get a former Batman and move on.
37
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,272
I'm sure Val Kilmer
could use the insurance.
38
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,774
Peter, we're not going
to get a former Batman.
39
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:51,152
That has been pitched
every day since Adam West died
40
00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:53,404
and the response has been tepid at best.
41
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:55,656
We need someone with fresh ideas.
42
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,366
Someone who knows the issues.
43
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:00,786
Well, if you're looking
for someone with issues,
44
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,997
I think you've found your candidate.
45
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,378
I had to go to bed early
because it's a grown-up party,
46
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,963
but Mom said if I was quiet,
47
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,923
I could listen
from the top of the stairs.
48
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:15,843
You know, I think you might be
a really good candidate.
49
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,887
You know the town, you're smart
50
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:20,264
and you clearly have
nothing better to do.
51
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:23,392
So all in favor of the librarian
running for mayor say aye.
52
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,436
- Aye.
- What about ALF?
53
00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,688
Let's toast our new mayor
54
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,149
um, I'm sorry,
I don't even know your name.
55
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,360
Elle. Elle Hitler.
56
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:34,153
No relation.
57
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,012
Elle Hitler? Eh.
58
00:02:36,013 --> 00:02:38,407
Let's all say hi to Elle Hitler.
59
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:41,912
- Hi, Elle Hitler.
- Yay!
60
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,917
I can't believe Lois wants
the librarian to be mayor.
61
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,251
I mean, Mayor West was a legend,
62
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:50,586
and now they're gonna replace him
63
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,713
with some third-tier character
with a joke name?
64
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:55,633
- That's Chinatown, Peter.
- What?
65
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:58,678
I said, "That's Chinatown."
It's from the movie Chinatown.
66
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,806
It means, like, "What are you
gonna do? That's Chinatown."
67
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:03,474
Joe, did you finally get Netflix?
68
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,726
I did. And I just watched Chinatown.
69
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,311
It's kind of gross.
70
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,022
Quahog deserves a cool mayor,
like Mayor West was.
71
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,024
But there's no one cooler
than Adam West.
72
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,652
If only he had had a offspring.
73
00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:17,988
Speaking of offspring,
Faye Dunaway slept with her dad
74
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:21,117
in Chinatown and then had his baby.
75
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:23,661
Guys, that movie really messed me up.
76
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:26,956
Wait a second,
Mayor West didn't have any kids,
77
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:30,127
but he did have a cousin, Wild West.
78
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,837
You guys don't know Wild West?
79
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,380
No. And please don't diminish us
80
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,840
for not knowing
the same things you know.
81
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,258
You know how to land an airplane?
82
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:38,843
No, you don't. Asswipe.
83
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:40,428
I'm sorry. I see you, Quagmire.
84
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:41,846
- I do.
- Thank you.
85
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,807
Wild West is a legendary cowboy
and a spokesman
86
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,934
for everything manly. Look.
87
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:52,815
You work hard,
and at the end of the day,
88
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,608
you're more than tired.
89
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:56,819
You're man tired.
90
00:03:56,820 --> 00:04:00,197
And when it's finally time to
kick off your boots and relax,
91
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:03,993
nothing satisfies more
than Beef Cigarettes.
92
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,828
* Give yourself a treat *
93
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,508
* Nicotine and meat. *
94
00:04:07,509 --> 00:04:08,920
WILD WEST: Beef Cigarettes,
95
00:04:08,921 --> 00:04:11,709
now with less hooves and snouts.
96
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,544
See? He'd be a great mayor.
97
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:16,380
- Well, what's his stand on abortion?
- What? I don't...
98
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,424
Does he make exceptions
in cases of incest?
99
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,134
Because I've seen some things recently
100
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,845
that make me think he probably should.
101
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,841
You came at the perfect time.
102
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,764
That was beautiful.
103
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:08,682
If you think the birth is beautiful,
104
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,852
you should see the conception.
105
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,029
Mmm. Jasmine oolong.
106
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,948
What can I do you for, stranger?
107
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:26,617
My name is Peter Griffin and
I'm from Quahog, Rhode Island,
108
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:29,411
where your cousin Adam West
was our mayor for many years.
109
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:31,205
And since he's gone to a better place...
110
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:34,416
- Duluth?
- I was thinking heaven, but okay, sure.
111
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,293
Beautiful country, Duluth.
112
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:39,922
The air moves into your nostrils
like a welcome guest.
113
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,757
God, that's awesome.
114
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,884
Anyway, I thought you
would be the perfect person
115
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,804
to take his place as our mayor.
116
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:54,854
Peter, have you ever killed a man?
117
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,523
Reddit says I've killed 39,
but that seems low.
118
00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,485
- Why do you ask?
- Just making conversation.
119
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:05,322
Look, I know it's a lot
to ask, but Quahog needs you.
120
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,283
You're the perfect person
to lead us through
121
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:10,119
the last five years
of the United States' existence.
122
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,897
So, what do you say?
Will you be our mayor?
123
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:19,211
Can I tell you a secret, Peter?
124
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,213
I can levitate.
125
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,258
- No way. Can you show me?
- No. But it's true.
126
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:25,885
Uh, that seems like the kind of thing
127
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,761
you have to prove right when you say it.
128
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,680
Well, I suppose you're right.
129
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:32,057
I appreciate you coming
all this way, Peter,
130
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,684
but I can't be your mayor.
131
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:36,688
But, Wild West, we need you.
132
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,443
I'm sorry.
133
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:46,156
You get home safe, now. Hyah!
134
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,169
Thank you for coming out to celebrate
135
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:02,338
a new day in Quahog.
136
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,965
I would like to ask all
the women to please put aside
137
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,717
your blinding hatred of other women
138
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:10,387
and vote for this incredibly
qualified candidate.
139
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,556
Stranger comin'!
140
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,893
Stranger comin'!
141
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:29,950
He came.
142
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,084
Howdy, Quahog.
143
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,086
My name's Wild West, and I'm here
144
00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:45,507
to throw my hat in the ring
to be your next mayor.
145
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:54,515
And I want to say one more thing:
I can levitate.
146
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:57,184
But not right now.
147
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,061
That seems like something
he should have to prove
148
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,403
- when he says it.
- When he says it.
149
00:08:00,404 --> 00:08:02,190
That's, uh, that's what I said.
150
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:11,281
Peter, what the hell is wrong with you?
151
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,283
You don't know anything about politics.
152
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,660
Well, you don't know anything
153
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:17,371
about landing a airplane, asswipe.
154
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,540
Besides, Wild West
would make a great mayor.
155
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,536
He's a man...
156
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,170
What does that have to do with anything?
157
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,880
Because this is America, Lois.
158
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:29,049
Men have always run things
and there have never been
159
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,884
any problems whatsoever.
160
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:33,262
And don't say the economy
or Iraq or income inequality
161
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,764
or racism or Brett Kavanaugh
or air pollution or Vietnam
162
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,933
or slavery or Watergate or capitalism
163
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,269
or #MeToo or homelessness
or police brutality
164
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,771
or homophobia or Monica Lewinsky
or school shootings
165
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,815
or Native American genocide or Fox News
166
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,650
or Tim Allen or climate change.
167
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,360
You make a good point.
168
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:51,655
But I still think more women
should be in positions of power,
169
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:55,075
and I'm gonna work my butt off
to make sure the librarian
170
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,952
becomes our next mayor.
171
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,455
And I'm gonna prove that
Wild West is the better choice.
172
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,665
I've already made
my first campaign poster.
173
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:04,627
I always start too big.
174
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:10,591
Afternoon, citizen.
175
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:13,510
My name's Wild West
and I'm running for mayor.
176
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:16,013
- What might your name be?
- Bruce.
177
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:18,891
Pleasure, Bruce. If'n you don't mind,
178
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:22,186
I'd like to roll up your garden
hose for you, the right way.
179
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,354
- Oh, okay.
- You see, Bruce,
180
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,398
every hose has a memory.
181
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,109
And you just got to tap
into that memory.
182
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,694
You see this kink here?
183
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:34,448
I, uh... I do see that kink.
184
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:39,036
Well, a hose is very desirous
of its original shape,
185
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,996
and if you know how to work those kinks,
186
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:44,166
it should straighten itself right out.
187
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,376
Oh, merciful heavens.
188
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,464
If you need some help on your campaign,
189
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:54,052
I'm very experienced at taking polls.
190
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:59,348
Wild West, this is my daughter Meg.
191
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,183
She also has a mustache.
192
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,852
I can see that. Nice to meet you, Meg.
193
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,105
Wow, you've got a great voice.
194
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,565
Would you record
my outgoing voice-mail message?
195
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,484
Ah, I'd be happy to.
196
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,654
And could you make it sound like
one of your truck commercials?
197
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:16,990
If you're looking for something
rugged, something durable,
198
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,827
something with an endless supply of gas
199
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,454
and a tailgate made for dumping,
200
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,873
then you must be
looking for Meg Griffin.
201
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,209
Meg might not be much to look at,
202
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,253
but with two different-shaped airbags,
203
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,880
Meg is one ride
you won't mind taking out
204
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,925
to the middle of nowhere
and giving it your all.
205
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:37,594
She's road-ready, and rode hard.
206
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:39,221
Meg Griffin.
207
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:42,391
Kindly leave your go-by
and Roman numerics
208
00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:44,268
at the sound of the chow bell.
209
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,113
Peter, I don't even know
why you're bothering
210
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,614
to take me to meet Wild West.
211
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,616
I will never change my mind about him.
212
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,536
That's all I ask.
213
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:10,085
Afternoon, Griffins.
Glad you could make it.
214
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,129
Can I-can I go play
with the barn mustaches?
215
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,923
- Please? Please?
- Of course you can.
216
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,306
Peter said something about me
really sticks in your craw.
217
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:25,475
Let's not make this sexy, okay?
218
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:28,270
I just don't think it's fair
for you to breeze into town
219
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:31,148
with your rugged good looks
and voice of the gods
220
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,941
and assume you should be mayor.
221
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,319
Especially when you're
taking an opportunity away
222
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,237
from a very deserving woman.
223
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,198
That's a fair point, Lois.
224
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:42,326
Do you mind if I make you
a sweater while I respond?
225
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:44,703
Uh, no.
226
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,705
No, that would be fine.
227
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,584
Lois, I moved my whole family
to Oregon when I was 13,
228
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:53,295
and it taught me that
a town is like a horse.
229
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:54,713
You don't choose it.
230
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,465
It chooses you.
231
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:58,800
And I believe Quahog has chosen me,
232
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,118
just like it chose my cousin Adam.
233
00:12:01,119 --> 00:12:04,806
Now, the last thing I want to do
is take something from a woman.
234
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:07,393
There's nothing
I respect more than women.
235
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,022
Is that so?
236
00:12:10,023 --> 00:12:12,513
Yes'm. I've raised 16 daughters
237
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:15,002
into strong, independent women,
238
00:12:15,003 --> 00:12:16,693
I'm a registered doula,
239
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:20,072
and I always order edamame
for the table.
240
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:23,617
Oh, my God. Oh. Huh.
241
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:26,450
So, y-you're all alone... up here?
242
00:12:26,451 --> 00:12:27,788
With no one to
243
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:30,332
touch your sweaty biceps?
244
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,667
Huh?
245
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,669
A man's never alone, Lois,
246
00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:36,381
so long as he has his principles.
247
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:40,509
H-H-Holy thundering Lord.
248
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:43,053
Lois, can we keep it?
I'll take care of it, I promise.
249
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:44,471
Aah!
250
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:45,889
Ow! He bit me!
251
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,474
I don't like it now.
252
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:56,984
Peter, do you wanna maybe
do some role-playing?
253
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,069
Okay. I'll be Quentin Tarantino,
254
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,113
and you be the foot I make a mess on.
255
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,073
No, actually, I-I was thinking
256
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:05,826
that maybe you could pretend
to be a cowboy.
257
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,661
Okay.
258
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:08,996
Oh, Lois...
259
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,831
Uh, make your voice deeper.
260
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,833
- Oh, Lois...
- Deeper!
261
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:14,668
Oh, Lois.
262
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:15,752
Good.
263
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:19,506
Now say, "Beef: it's what's for dinner."
264
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:21,466
- I-I don't...
- Say it!
265
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,093
- Beef...
- Oh, yes.
266
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,095
- It's what's for dinner.
- Oh, yes!
267
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:27,514
Oh, Wild West, Wild West.
268
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:28,724
What?!
269
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:31,406
Peter, what the hell are you wearing?
270
00:13:31,407 --> 00:13:33,270
I went a different direction,
cowboy-wise,
271
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,064
but don't change the subject!
272
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,532
- Peter, what are you doing?
- I've decided that Wild West
273
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:47,826
is the worst possible person
to be mayor,
274
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,162
and I'm gonna do
whatever I can to stop him.
275
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,998
O-Okay, is this because I called
out his name twice during sex
276
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,250
and once while I was peeing after?
277
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:59,110
- That's part of it, yes.
- I'm sorry, Peter, it just slipped out.
278
00:13:59,111 --> 00:14:01,692
Well, I'm sorry I'm the length
of a Mike and Ike!
279
00:14:01,693 --> 00:14:03,940
In your dreams.
280
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,679
That one stung, Lois.
281
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,142
Ooh, that one stung.
282
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:15,729
All right, I'm on your side now.
283
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,314
And if you're gonna beat Wild West,
284
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,649
you have to recognize that
one of his greatest strengths
285
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:22,861
is his voice, which makes him
sound sexy and smart
286
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,696
and sexy and sexy.
287
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,157
Where your voice sounds
like your dad's second wife
288
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,993
trying to describe
something she saw on Facebook.
289
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:31,119
Oh, speaking of,
290
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,414
do you know what a meme is?
291
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,041
What... Course I do.
292
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,667
And it's pronounced "me-me."
293
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:40,420
Well, the other day, I saw one
294
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,297
with the most adorable kitten
295
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,424
tangled in a ball of yarn.
296
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,012
And underneath
297
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,848
underneath, it said:
"(BLEEP) the police."
298
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,727
Okay, that was unexpected,
so I'm gonna ignore it
299
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,729
and bring in Morgan Freeman,
who I've hired
300
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,356
to narrate your commercials.
301
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:01,817
We're gonna fight voice with voice.
302
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:04,569
Wild West claims to know
what's best for Quahog,
303
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,405
but there's a better choice.
304
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,031
And I know about choice.
305
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:10,200
I chose to be in Ted 2.
306
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,535
Nobody made me.
307
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:13,537
I wasn't forced at gunpoint.
308
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:17,040
I relied on my advisors,
and they let me down.
309
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,875
"They'll fix the script," they said.
310
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,377
Well, they were wrong.
311
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,712
I thought I'd get to act
with a talking teddy bear,
312
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,339
but when I got there,
313
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:27,342
it was just two ping-pong balls
on a stick.
314
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,761
Or maybe that was Amanda Seyfried.
315
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,555
I don't know.
316
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,724
Okay, thank-thank you.
Thank you, Morgan. Thank you.
317
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:37,144
Peter, just let me speak to the voters
318
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,813
about the issues
they're concerned about.
319
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,815
Or, instead of doing that stupid thing,
320
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:44,234
we could sabotage Wild West's campaign.
321
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:45,862
Come on, you can drive.
322
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,909
Big Garfield fan, huh?
323
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,119
Me, too.
324
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,079
- Not this big.
- You know, a lot of people
325
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,958
think I'm obsessed,
but I think I'm pretty nermal.
326
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:04,213
Okay, you reeled me back in.
327
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:24,108
Let's see how popular
you are when I cut off your mustache.
328
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:48,089
How is this so strong?
329
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:52,427
My hair follicles run deeper
than the roots of a sequoia.
330
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:54,262
Git him, fella.
331
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,770
Oh! Aah!
332
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,227
Aah!
333
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,917
Nice work.
334
00:17:01,918 --> 00:17:03,773
Thanks, boss.
335
00:17:23,330 --> 00:17:25,669
- Uh-oh.
- Hello?
336
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,796
Could somebody help me?
337
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:30,299
Don't panic, The Librarian.
338
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:40,016
Hang on, little lady.
339
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:41,519
I'm a-comin'.
340
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:12,632
- I told you I could levitate.
- You did.
341
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:15,302
Do the thing with the hose!
342
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,724
Good evening. I'm Tom Tucker.
343
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,309
Our top story tonight:
344
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:25,186
Quahog's new mayor is Wild West.
345
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,899
With a final vote of 43 to 19,
346
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,193
it's clear that no one really cared.
347
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,945
Nice job, guys.
348
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,072
Peter, can I talk to you?
349
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:37,609
- What?
- Look,
350
00:18:37,610 --> 00:18:39,585
I know we've had our differences,
351
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:42,495
but I'm hoping that someday
we can bury the hatchet,
352
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:44,247
maybe even be friends.
353
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:48,251
Until then, I want you
to take care of this for me.
354
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,255
For me?
355
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,382
Thank you, Wild West.
356
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:57,636
And... I'm sorry I tried
to destroy your reputation
357
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,763
by burning down a library.
358
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:03,224
I can see now that...
I'm better than that.
359
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,772
Wild West, I just want to say
congratulations,
360
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:11,441
and I know you'll do a great job
for our town.
361
00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:14,235
I appreciate that, Lois,
and you can rest easy
362
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,988
knowing that you
and the good people of Quahog
363
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,991
are safe under my watchful eye.
364
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:23,624
- You ever kill a man?
- What?! Why?
365
00:19:23,625 --> 00:19:26,040
Just making conversation.
366
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,798
Wild West, why don't you play us a song?
367
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:38,094
Aw, shucks,
I don't know if I could do that.
368
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,690
* Arizona moon keep shining *
369
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:56,529
* From the desert sky above *
370
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,240
* You know pretty soon *
371
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:02,909
* That big yellow moon *
372
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:05,328
* Will light the way back *
373
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:09,207
* To the one you love *
374
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,710
* Blue *
375
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,545
* Shadows *
376
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:17,967
* On the trail *
377
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,139
* Little cowboy *
378
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:27,058
* Close your eyes *
379
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,520
* And dream *
380
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,772
* All of the doggies *
381
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:36,234
* Are in the corral *
382
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:39,155
* All of your work is done *
383
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,742
* Just close your eyes *
384
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,578
* And dream, little pal *
385
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,913
* Dream of *
386
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,333
* Someone *
387
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:55,211
* Bom, bom-bom-bom, bom, bom-bom-bom *
388
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,756
* Bom, bom-bom-bom, bom-bom, bom-bom *
389
00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,508
* Bom, bom-bom-bom, bom, bom-bom-bom *
390
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,971
* Bom, bom-bom-bom,
bom-bom, bom-bom, bom. *
28138
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