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1
00:00:47,976 --> 00:00:51,073
...Sheds His grace on thee...
2
00:00:53,065 --> 00:00:54,073
Hey, Dad.
3
00:00:54,191 --> 00:00:58,118
Man, "F" this wannabe holiday!
4
00:00:58,237 --> 00:00:59,245
What?
5
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:01,415
The Fourth of July?
You hate the Fourth of July?
6
00:01:01,532 --> 00:01:03,085
- Yes.
- It's America's birthday!
7
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:06,415
- You don't like birthdays?
- After the bottle-rocket smoke clears,
8
00:01:06,537 --> 00:01:10,677
day after tomorrow, all these
mouth-breathers are gonna be in my store
9
00:01:10,791 --> 00:01:14,931
buying half-off Christmas ornaments.
You know it and I know it.
10
00:01:15,045 --> 00:01:17,430
- I don't know if I know it.
- Oh?
11
00:01:17,548 --> 00:01:20,680
What are you looking at? Oh, wow!
12
00:01:20,801 --> 00:01:23,020
Fifty Shades of He-e-ey!
13
00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:25,189
Go talk to him!
14
00:01:25,305 --> 00:01:30,146
- No. He's... He's busy.
- He should be gettin' busy with you.
15
00:01:30,269 --> 00:01:33,234
I... I can't go over there. What if he...
16
00:01:33,355 --> 00:01:35,692
What if he slaps me?
17
00:01:35,816 --> 00:01:39,778
What? What if? What if instead of writing
the Declaration of Independence,
18
00:01:39,903 --> 00:01:43,083
George Washington wrote the
Declaration of Suffering in Silence
19
00:01:43,198 --> 00:01:44,752
with Your Raging Lady-boner?
20
00:01:44,867 --> 00:01:47,335
- Okay.
- What if instead of freeing the slaves,
21
00:01:47,453 --> 00:01:49,921
Abraham Lincoln said, "Ye shall not pass!"
22
00:01:50,038 --> 00:01:52,803
Okay, well, that's was Gandalf,
but I know where you're going.
23
00:01:52,916 --> 00:01:54,506
Go talk to him.
24
00:01:54,626 --> 00:01:58,423
I can't go over to that guy. He's like an
angel that's come down from outer space.
25
00:01:58,547 --> 00:02:01,347
Yeah, so ask him to probe you. Miaow!
26
00:02:01,467 --> 00:02:03,803
- I can't... I can't do it.
- Yes, you can!
27
00:02:03,927 --> 00:02:07,273
Look. Mister Pretty's off the phone.
Come on, do it.
28
00:02:07,389 --> 00:02:09,940
How many of those have you had?
You seem drunk.
29
00:02:10,058 --> 00:02:12,906
I'm drunk. Deb, I haven't had dinner.
30
00:02:13,020 --> 00:02:14,941
Deb! Deb! Deb!
31
00:02:15,063 --> 00:02:18,943
Deb! Deb! Deb! Deb! Deb!
32
00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:22,200
- Okay! Here goes nothing!
- Deb! Deb! Deb! Do it!
33
00:02:22,321 --> 00:02:24,492
Deb! Deb! Deb! Deb!
34
00:02:24,615 --> 00:02:26,501
- Oh, sorry.
- Deb...
35
00:02:26,617 --> 00:02:29,203
Deb, do it now. Go.
36
00:02:30,996 --> 00:02:32,550
See you.
37
00:02:33,874 --> 00:02:35,796
Oh, fuck me!
38
00:03:19,419 --> 00:03:21,259
What the...
39
00:03:22,756 --> 00:03:28,059
Well, I think... I noticed that
she had red hair and that's about it.
40
00:03:28,178 --> 00:03:30,397
Stacy and I had this fight,
41
00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:33,978
then this person and I started drinking
42
00:03:34,101 --> 00:03:36,782
and talking and drinking.
43
00:03:36,895 --> 00:03:39,232
And the rest is kind of a blur.
44
00:03:39,356 --> 00:03:41,776
No, now she's here. She's still here. Yeah.
45
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:44,997
And I don't know how to get rid of her.
46
00:03:46,405 --> 00:03:49,370
No, I can't force her out.
47
00:03:51,452 --> 00:03:53,457
I'm not gonna pull the fire alarm.
48
00:03:53,579 --> 00:03:56,758
- White Russian and a whisky neat.
- Thanks, Billy.
49
00:03:56,874 --> 00:03:58,961
Oh, by gosh!
50
00:03:59,084 --> 00:04:01,303
You know my drink? Whoa!
51
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:06,426
Well, here's to the long,
straight piece in Tetris. Clink!
52
00:04:08,135 --> 00:04:09,428
So, uh...
53
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:11,225
I'm upset, too.
54
00:04:11,346 --> 00:04:14,146
...what are you doing in this gin joint?
55
00:04:14,266 --> 00:04:16,520
Let me talk some sense into him.
56
00:04:16,643 --> 00:04:21,567
Uh-huh. He looks drunk and ready to explain
himself. Yeah. We'll get back to you. Okay.
57
00:04:22,649 --> 00:04:27,538
Ryan, that was your dad. Please explain to me
why you told him to take that job and shove it?
58
00:04:27,654 --> 00:04:29,410
- No, I never said...
- He said you did.
59
00:04:29,531 --> 00:04:32,545
I told him I thought long and hard,
but I had to turn him down.
60
00:04:32,659 --> 00:04:36,171
- I was gonna tell you tonight.
- I am your fiancée, all right?
61
00:04:36,288 --> 00:04:39,467
You tell me before you make
any stupid decisions.
62
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:42,715
And what exactly can we do for you, Fraggle?
63
00:04:42,836 --> 00:04:48,056
I... I'm sorry. This gentleman bought me
a drink and we were having a conservation.
64
00:04:48,175 --> 00:04:52,268
Are you drinking his White Russian?
I told you that was a girl's drink.
65
00:04:52,387 --> 00:04:54,523
This is your drink?
66
00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,396
Well, it was.
67
00:04:56,517 --> 00:05:01,523
I'm sorry. I drink them, too. I just thought
you were being amazingly intuitive.
68
00:05:01,647 --> 00:05:04,945
Oh, good for you, sweetie. Why don't you
just take it with our compliments, all right?
69
00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:08,164
- Billy! Another Russian and a Bird over here.
- Coming up.
70
00:05:08,278 --> 00:05:11,742
Ryan, you need to call your dad
right now. You can still get this job...
71
00:05:11,865 --> 00:05:13,953
Stacy, I'm not working
for my father's company.
72
00:05:14,076 --> 00:05:15,879
We have this all figured out!
73
00:05:15,994 --> 00:05:19,672
You and I are gonna get married, your dad
is gonna get old, we're gonna take over.
74
00:05:19,790 --> 00:05:22,839
What is going on with you? Are you
still into this "helping" people thing?
75
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,970
I am done talking about this. Okay?
Like she said, we were having a conversation.
76
00:05:27,089 --> 00:05:29,426
Really? What's her name then?
77
00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:30,891
- Estelle.
- Deborah.
78
00:05:31,009 --> 00:05:34,058
What? You... you know my name?
79
00:05:34,179 --> 00:05:37,477
No, I... You looked like a Deborah,
so obviously I was wrong.
80
00:05:37,599 --> 00:05:40,529
No, my name is Deborah. You were right!
81
00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:43,148
I just said Estelle because I wanted
to get you out of the doghouse.
82
00:05:43,272 --> 00:05:45,775
- How would that have helped me?
- You know what?
83
00:05:45,899 --> 00:05:49,447
You two enjoy each other.
Happy Independence Day.
84
00:05:49,570 --> 00:05:51,824
- Because we're through.
- Stacy, this doesn't have to mean...
85
00:05:51,947 --> 00:05:55,459
Yes, it does, Ryan! This is a package deal.
86
00:05:55,576 --> 00:05:58,044
So you can say goodbye to these.
87
00:06:00,873 --> 00:06:02,925
Trixie and Mayberry.
88
00:06:04,626 --> 00:06:07,344
- I loved those cats.
- You'll see them again.
89
00:06:07,463 --> 00:06:09,883
She seems like a...
90
00:06:10,007 --> 00:06:11,928
sweet girl.
91
00:06:13,552 --> 00:06:16,055
Kev, come on, focus. Help me.
92
00:06:16,180 --> 00:06:18,897
That is a solid move. No, man!
93
00:06:19,016 --> 00:06:21,400
- I'm not gonna... Yeah, but that's your move.
- So?
94
00:06:21,518 --> 00:06:23,773
Not everybody can pull that off.
95
00:06:23,896 --> 00:06:27,324
Kev, you're breaking up
or something. Go back to...
96
00:06:27,441 --> 00:06:30,347
- Kev, are you there?
- Ryan!
97
00:06:43,499 --> 00:06:44,839
Excuse me?
98
00:06:44,958 --> 00:06:47,426
Mmmm!
99
00:06:47,544 --> 00:06:49,715
Mmm, morning!
100
00:06:49,838 --> 00:06:52,556
Uh! I slept in, didn't I?
101
00:06:52,674 --> 00:06:54,514
Yeah, you sure did.
102
00:06:54,635 --> 00:06:57,684
So, what's on the agend'? Brunch?
103
00:06:57,805 --> 00:06:59,015
Ah, no.
104
00:06:59,139 --> 00:07:02,236
Ooh! A black-coffee man. I like it.
105
00:07:02,351 --> 00:07:05,364
"I'm John Wayne, I don't need no breakfast."
106
00:07:05,479 --> 00:07:09,192
Ah, I actually already had my coffee, but...
107
00:07:09,316 --> 00:07:14,121
Anyway, it's the Fourth, so I'm gonna go
spend some time with my family.
108
00:07:14,238 --> 00:07:16,706
- And maybe you should, too, right?
- Oh, my God!
109
00:07:16,824 --> 00:07:20,418
Oh, God! I must look terrible,
but... so soon.
110
00:07:20,536 --> 00:07:22,707
But I... I guess I could meet your family.
111
00:07:22,830 --> 00:07:25,547
No, no, I actually meant your family.
112
00:07:25,666 --> 00:07:29,012
But either way, I have to go right now, so...
113
00:07:29,128 --> 00:07:32,722
Okay, well, just... do what
you gotta do, Mr Magoo.
114
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,387
I've got a book and I'll just, uh...
115
00:07:36,510 --> 00:07:38,017
stay here.
116
00:07:38,137 --> 00:07:39,892
I'll see you in a couple of hours.
117
00:07:40,013 --> 00:07:42,101
Oh, um... Hey, uh, look,
118
00:07:42,224 --> 00:07:45,570
I don't exactly remember
what happened last night...
119
00:07:45,686 --> 00:07:49,233
Oh? Well, do you want
the slow-motion instant replay?
120
00:07:49,356 --> 00:07:51,242
Oh, great! Okay. Hey!
121
00:07:51,358 --> 00:07:52,699
- That's a...
- Oh, no!
122
00:07:52,818 --> 00:07:56,994
That was a family heirloom, but, uh,
you know what? Don't worry about it, please.
123
00:07:57,114 --> 00:07:58,502
Uh, please.
124
00:07:58,615 --> 00:08:00,585
Okay. Well, uh...
125
00:08:00,701 --> 00:08:02,457
As you wish.
126
00:08:02,578 --> 00:08:07,584
Um... Well, look, I think we can agree
that this was a mistake.
127
00:08:09,126 --> 00:08:11,427
Oh, yeah. Of course, a mistake!
128
00:08:11,545 --> 00:08:14,309
What? I'm glad you said it before I said it.
129
00:08:14,423 --> 00:08:19,178
Cos I was gonna say it. There's a load off!
130
00:08:19,303 --> 00:08:22,102
Great! Okay. So we can leave. Now.
131
00:08:22,222 --> 00:08:23,231
Now?
132
00:08:23,348 --> 00:08:25,235
Yes, now is... now is...
133
00:08:25,350 --> 00:08:27,818
is even, uh, too late for me.
134
00:08:27,936 --> 00:08:32,445
Like I wish we could go in a time machine
and go back five minutes, and then leave then.
135
00:08:32,566 --> 00:08:35,496
But we don't, we don't have that,
so we just have to walk. So here we go.
136
00:08:35,611 --> 00:08:37,283
Where's the DeLorean
when you need one, right?
137
00:08:37,404 --> 00:08:39,575
- Okay.
- Yeah! Hello!
138
00:08:39,698 --> 00:08:42,546
McFly? Anybody home?
139
00:08:42,659 --> 00:08:45,507
- Okay, there you go.
- Much obliged.
140
00:08:48,207 --> 00:08:50,793
So, you know, if we run into
each other around town,
141
00:08:50,918 --> 00:08:54,299
it doesn't need to be weird.
We can just say hello or wave...
142
00:08:54,421 --> 00:08:57,767
What a nice morning. It's...
143
00:08:57,883 --> 00:09:00,386
Holidays are so peaceful, don't you think?
144
00:09:00,511 --> 00:09:03,144
- I guess I never really...
- Listen, my children.
145
00:09:03,263 --> 00:09:07,107
And you will hear
of the midnight ride of Paul Revere.
146
00:09:07,226 --> 00:09:10,856
A voice in the darkness, a knock at the door.
147
00:09:10,979 --> 00:09:13,862
And a word that will echo forever more.
148
00:09:15,609 --> 00:09:17,863
Wow, that was actually nice.
149
00:09:17,986 --> 00:09:19,493
- Um...
- Thank you.
150
00:09:19,613 --> 00:09:21,535
- Have a good one.
- Oh...
151
00:09:21,657 --> 00:09:25,003
It's Longfellow.
He's from here. Portland, Maine.
152
00:09:25,119 --> 00:09:29,923
- Yeah, I know where we live.
- I used to recite it for my mom every Fourth.
153
00:09:30,999 --> 00:09:33,087
She's in a better place now.
154
00:09:33,210 --> 00:09:35,049
Oh, I'm sorry.
155
00:09:35,170 --> 00:09:39,311
Virginia Beach. They have
a lot of activities for seniors there.
156
00:09:39,424 --> 00:09:43,351
I try to go, but I'm so busy
with work at the TV station.
157
00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:47,101
Hence, alone for the holiday!
158
00:09:47,224 --> 00:09:48,731
Okay, well, uh...
159
00:09:48,851 --> 00:09:51,105
God bless... America!
160
00:09:51,228 --> 00:09:53,315
Hey, God bless you!
161
00:09:56,108 --> 00:09:58,160
Whoever you are.
162
00:10:06,326 --> 00:10:07,999
Deb, it's Rubes.
163
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:13,293
Call me as soon as you drag yourself out
of that fine man's bed, you complete whore.
164
00:10:13,417 --> 00:10:15,837
Did you ever know that you're my hero...
165
00:10:15,961 --> 00:10:20,470
Great! Somebody's coming in the store and
they look drunk and I feel like ass today.
166
00:10:20,591 --> 00:10:23,770
Hey! You break it, you buy it, bucko!
167
00:10:23,886 --> 00:10:26,104
Shit! Aah!
168
00:10:34,354 --> 00:10:36,775
Happy holidays. You've reached Yule Mart.
169
00:10:36,899 --> 00:10:39,947
We'll be open July 4th until noon
and all day on the 5th.
170
00:10:40,068 --> 00:10:44,288
You'll love our frankincense
and myrrh-chandise! Get it?
171
00:10:44,823 --> 00:10:47,660
Hi, I don't know if I should be your hero.
172
00:10:47,785 --> 00:10:51,047
Homeboy didn't want to
see me again after last night.
173
00:10:51,163 --> 00:10:54,841
I guess, in the light of day,
I seemed like some sort of monster.
174
00:10:56,043 --> 00:10:58,629
Rubes, you gotta tell me
what happened last night,
175
00:10:58,754 --> 00:11:00,426
cos I don't remember bupkis.
176
00:11:00,547 --> 00:11:02,849
- Was I some sort of jackhole or something?
- Why won't she leave?
177
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:05,351
Hello?
178
00:11:09,681 --> 00:11:11,733
Piece of kaka phone!
179
00:11:13,519 --> 00:11:14,990
Really?
180
00:11:15,103 --> 00:11:16,112
Uh!
181
00:11:47,427 --> 00:11:48,602
Hello?
182
00:11:52,099 --> 00:11:53,273
Joe?
183
00:11:55,727 --> 00:11:57,151
Anybody?
184
00:11:57,271 --> 00:11:58,991
Don't!
185
00:12:00,524 --> 00:12:02,161
Don't make me!
186
00:12:02,276 --> 00:12:04,696
The parade's really gone downhill this year.
187
00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:07,584
Come on! Get off!
188
00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:11,753
All right, Joe...
189
00:12:11,869 --> 00:12:14,882
I got a large Casco Bay blend here.
190
00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:17,297
Joe?
191
00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:19,882
All right.
192
00:12:20,627 --> 00:12:23,889
Oh, hey, man. There you are. What's going on?
193
00:12:24,965 --> 00:12:27,017
Dude, why are you eating a foot?
194
00:12:30,929 --> 00:12:31,938
Joe!
195
00:12:33,307 --> 00:12:34,606
Joe!
196
00:12:35,976 --> 00:12:38,396
Help! God!
197
00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:42,389
Oh, my God!
198
00:12:42,983 --> 00:12:45,534
What is that? This is horrible!
199
00:12:47,029 --> 00:12:48,037
Joe!
200
00:13:02,002 --> 00:13:03,888
Sorry, Joe.
201
00:13:23,065 --> 00:13:25,034
Come on, come on, come on!
202
00:13:25,150 --> 00:13:28,285
- No, wait, wait! My place, my place!
- Okay.
203
00:13:28,403 --> 00:13:29,623
What is this...
204
00:13:29,738 --> 00:13:33,748
Well, I've never seen one before, but it
seems, sort of, like a zombie apocalypse.
205
00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:37,163
Oh! You know, at least
they're not the sprinter type.
206
00:13:37,287 --> 00:13:39,921
They're more of the old-school,
cerebral palsy variety.
207
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:43,255
Hey, that's Manny, from up the street.
He really does have CP.
208
00:13:43,377 --> 00:13:46,141
Oh, I'm sorry! I was just trying to...
209
00:13:46,255 --> 00:13:47,642
Whoa!
210
00:13:49,091 --> 00:13:50,728
Okay, some of them run!
211
00:13:52,761 --> 00:13:54,482
So sorry.
212
00:13:55,639 --> 00:13:57,774
- So what are we gonna do?
- I don't know!
213
00:13:57,891 --> 00:14:00,905
I don't have a whole lot of experience
with this type of thing!
214
00:14:01,019 --> 00:14:04,899
- Why are you taking off your shoes?
- Because it's filthy outside!
215
00:14:05,023 --> 00:14:08,408
Okay, okay, calm down.
216
00:14:09,257 --> 00:14:13,873
Okay. We need information. We need to
figure out if it's affecting everyone.
217
00:14:13,991 --> 00:14:16,043
Okay. TV.
218
00:14:17,911 --> 00:14:19,169
Okay.
219
00:14:19,288 --> 00:14:21,375
Where's CNN?
220
00:14:21,498 --> 00:14:23,468
I don't have it. I got rid of
cable a couple of months ago.
221
00:14:23,584 --> 00:14:27,464
Oh, that's cool. I have some friends
that did that and it sounded so liberating.
222
00:14:27,588 --> 00:14:30,222
Though not actually that helpful right now!
223
00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:32,392
I still get the local stuff.
224
00:14:33,635 --> 00:14:36,898
The annual event drew famished foodies
from Bangor to Brunswick
225
00:14:37,014 --> 00:14:39,268
to support the fire department's
annual pancake breakfast...
226
00:14:39,391 --> 00:14:41,147
Good! It hasn't spread across town.
227
00:14:41,268 --> 00:14:43,653
No, not necessarily.
This is yesterday's broadcast.
228
00:14:43,770 --> 00:14:46,535
Which you know because
you were running the camera.
229
00:14:46,648 --> 00:14:48,985
Are you being weirdly sarcastic
or how do you know that?
230
00:14:49,109 --> 00:14:51,529
You told me last night that
you work at the news station.
231
00:14:51,653 --> 00:14:56,043
- Now why would they rerun a news broadcast?
- That's what I don't understand.
232
00:14:56,158 --> 00:14:57,878
Radio! Do you have one?
233
00:14:57,993 --> 00:15:00,793
...Area and wait for help.
Repeat message 5-B.
234
00:15:00,913 --> 00:15:03,132
Couldn't we have taken
the radio out of the...
235
00:15:03,248 --> 00:15:05,503
- Stay in your homes with the doors locked.
- This is it!
236
00:15:05,626 --> 00:15:09,553
The Governor has declared a state of
emergency and alerted the National Guard.
237
00:15:09,671 --> 00:15:13,682
Symptoms of the ailment include
slurred speech, wild movement,
238
00:15:13,801 --> 00:15:17,941
an appetite for human flesh,
and both slow and fast walking.
239
00:15:18,055 --> 00:15:22,860
If loved ones display these traits, isolate
them in a secure area and wait for help.
240
00:15:22,976 --> 00:15:25,231
"Loved ones". I gotta call Stacy.
241
00:15:25,354 --> 00:15:27,573
- Repeat message 5-B.
- Wait!
242
00:15:27,689 --> 00:15:30,110
You guys broke up, right?
243
00:15:32,548 --> 00:15:37,041
- I think I left my phone at the coffeshop.
- You went to a coffeeshop?
244
00:15:37,157 --> 00:15:39,921
I thought that you already had your coffee?
245
00:15:40,035 --> 00:15:42,420
- That's very interesting.
- Can I use yours?
246
00:15:42,538 --> 00:15:46,251
Oh, boy! I think that I should
conserve battery power.
247
00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:47,668
Please.
248
00:15:47,793 --> 00:15:49,050
Oh!
249
00:15:49,169 --> 00:15:51,305
Okay. Make it snappy.
250
00:15:51,421 --> 00:15:53,557
Wait. Seriously, this is
what you use to call people?
251
00:15:53,674 --> 00:15:56,473
- Okay, listen, if you don't want to use it...
- No, no. It's fine.
252
00:15:56,593 --> 00:15:58,681
I just, uh...
253
00:15:58,804 --> 00:16:00,939
- Uh...
- You don't know her number?
254
00:16:01,056 --> 00:16:03,560
No! I... Ssh! All right? I'm trying to think.
255
00:16:03,684 --> 00:16:06,483
The prospects for your relationship
are not looking good.
256
00:16:06,603 --> 00:16:08,988
I always just use speed dial, all right?
Everybody does that.
257
00:16:09,106 --> 00:16:10,659
Listen, no one is judging you.
258
00:16:10,774 --> 00:16:14,120
I'm just saying that when I care about someone,
I commit their phone number to memory.
259
00:16:14,236 --> 00:16:15,826
Like my mom.
260
00:16:15,946 --> 00:16:20,243
Oh, shark, my mom!
Gimme-gimme-gimme-gimme-gimme!
261
00:16:26,957 --> 00:16:28,594
- Hello?
- Mom!
262
00:16:28,709 --> 00:16:31,841
- Are there zombies there?
- Gotcha! You've reached my voicemail.
263
00:16:31,962 --> 00:16:34,762
- Please leave a message.
- Jesus, Mom, I hate this gag.
264
00:16:34,882 --> 00:16:36,887
Just kidding, it's actually me.
265
00:16:37,009 --> 00:16:39,856
Oh, oh... Mom, are you really there?
266
00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:43,398
Well, of course, little Miss Magoo.
Happy Fourth of July!
267
00:16:43,515 --> 00:16:46,481
Uh, have you been outside yet today?
268
00:16:46,602 --> 00:16:48,523
Why, yes, I was just down
at the Pick 'n Save.
269
00:16:48,645 --> 00:16:50,697
And are there people
eating other people's flesh?
270
00:16:50,814 --> 00:16:52,654
I'm in Virginia Beach, honey, not Florida.
271
00:16:52,774 --> 00:16:56,571
Mom, listen to me. The people here
are infected with something.
272
00:16:56,695 --> 00:16:59,080
I'm trying to get down there,
but if I don't make it...
273
00:17:00,157 --> 00:17:01,960
- ...take care of yourself.
- Deb?
274
00:17:02,075 --> 00:17:03,629
- I love you.
- Are you there?
275
00:17:03,744 --> 00:17:05,749
- Ma?
- Can you hear me?
276
00:17:07,039 --> 00:17:10,215
- Still using that janky old phon...
- Dammit!
277
00:17:18,133 --> 00:17:19,391
Mm.
278
00:17:22,888 --> 00:17:26,631
Okay, let's take stock of
what we have and, uh...
279
00:17:28,519 --> 00:17:32,825
Board up the windows. Way ahead
of you, chief. Pee corner's over there.
280
00:17:32,940 --> 00:17:36,902
That end table was a matching set! And we
don't need a pee corner, I've got a bathr...
281
00:17:37,027 --> 00:17:39,658
You know what? We're getting out of here.
282
00:17:41,782 --> 00:17:44,332
Help me!
283
00:17:49,331 --> 00:17:52,214
All right, they're drawn to the noise.
We'll have to leave quietly.
284
00:17:52,334 --> 00:17:54,386
But... you heard the radio.
285
00:17:54,503 --> 00:17:58,015
They said to hunker down and wait for
the National Guard or, you know, whatever.
286
00:17:58,132 --> 00:18:00,386
And, just some food for thought,
287
00:18:00,509 --> 00:18:03,937
we might want to start bonding
in case we have to repopulate the world.
288
00:18:04,054 --> 00:18:07,436
- Just thinking out loud here.
- No, please don't, all right?
289
00:18:07,558 --> 00:18:11,271
Look, my fiancée, brother and father
are out there. They'll be expecting me.
290
00:18:11,395 --> 00:18:14,657
Breaking news... people are kind of
foregoing their holiday plans right now.
291
00:18:14,773 --> 00:18:16,410
You'll be no help to them
if you get infected.
292
00:18:16,525 --> 00:18:19,871
I'd rather take that risk than be
without the people I care about.
293
00:18:19,987 --> 00:18:23,914
- Okay, whatever you want. I'm staying put.
- But I need you!
294
00:18:26,410 --> 00:18:31,131
It's weird. I know that we've only known
each other a short time, but I kind of feel...
295
00:18:31,248 --> 00:18:33,716
- You have a car.
- Oh?
296
00:18:33,834 --> 00:18:36,634
What happened to yours, player?
It's in the shop?
297
00:18:36,753 --> 00:18:39,138
I don't have one.
I ride my bicycle everywhere.
298
00:18:39,256 --> 00:18:42,388
Everywhere except across town in
the middle of a zombie apocalypse, huh?
299
00:18:42,509 --> 00:18:44,479
- Is that your one exception?
- Look...
300
00:18:44,595 --> 00:18:47,275
Help me collect my people,
then we can all leave town together,
301
00:18:47,389 --> 00:18:50,070
and then you can get to your mom in Virginia.
302
00:18:50,184 --> 00:18:51,904
Oh, I can't stay mad at you!
303
00:18:53,187 --> 00:18:55,357
We're gonna need some road snacks.
304
00:18:55,481 --> 00:18:58,364
Oh! I foolishly thought
that you kept food in here.
305
00:18:58,484 --> 00:19:02,541
- Hey, we can survive on this stuff!
- Oh, for an hour, if we were rabbits.
306
00:19:02,654 --> 00:19:05,620
Why do you have coconut water?
Is this Maine or Gilligan's Island?
307
00:19:05,741 --> 00:19:08,209
It's very hydrating.
308
00:19:08,327 --> 00:19:11,921
Okay, once we get in that car,
I am not stopping till we get to VA.
309
00:19:12,039 --> 00:19:14,507
There's gotta be some place
around here that we can get food.
310
00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:18,682
I check in on Mrs Jones,
get her groceries once in a while.
311
00:19:18,796 --> 00:19:21,014
Oh, that's so sweet!
312
00:19:23,258 --> 00:19:24,848
Oh, no!
313
00:19:26,845 --> 00:19:28,731
Oh, my God! Is she...
314
00:19:31,183 --> 00:19:32,773
So sad!
315
00:19:32,893 --> 00:19:35,028
To die alone on the Fourth.
316
00:19:37,523 --> 00:19:39,195
Shadows are trailing.
317
00:19:39,316 --> 00:19:41,119
My heart is bewailing.
318
00:19:41,235 --> 00:19:43,536
And tolling within like a funeral bell.
319
00:19:44,738 --> 00:19:46,957
Rest in peace, Mrs Jones.
320
00:19:50,452 --> 00:19:52,422
What are you doing?
321
00:19:52,538 --> 00:19:55,634
Oh, I was just reciting some Longfellow.
I think it's nice to say...
322
00:19:55,749 --> 00:19:57,968
No, no. Why did you open her eyes?
323
00:19:58,085 --> 00:20:02,925
That's what you do when someone dies,
to let their soul rise up to heaven.
324
00:20:03,048 --> 00:20:06,311
What? No, no. You close their eyes.
325
00:20:06,426 --> 00:20:09,475
Uh, okay, trust me on this one!
326
00:20:09,596 --> 00:20:13,191
No. Trust me. Okay? Nobody does it that way.
327
00:20:13,308 --> 00:20:17,188
Uh, you're gonna feel pretty silly
when the internet's back up.
328
00:20:17,312 --> 00:20:21,619
Please! This was a sweet old lady,
all right? Don't be weird.
329
00:20:21,733 --> 00:20:23,536
Just leave her in peace.
330
00:20:23,652 --> 00:20:25,325
- I...
- Stop it!
331
00:20:25,445 --> 00:20:27,415
Ooh, taking control!
332
00:20:27,531 --> 00:20:31,078
Yeah, I dig it!
But I've gotta do right by her.
333
00:20:31,201 --> 00:20:33,420
Let your soul be free!
334
00:20:33,537 --> 00:20:36,502
- You're being ridiculous.
- No, you're being ridiculous!
335
00:20:36,623 --> 00:20:39,091
And let go of my wrist, you're hurting me.
336
00:20:39,209 --> 00:20:42,342
- I'm not touching your... Whoa!
- What is happening?
337
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,688
- A little help here, chief!
- I'm working on it!
338
00:20:48,010 --> 00:20:49,853
Okay, I'm sorry, Mrs Jones.
339
00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:53,648
- I'm really sorry to do this to you.
- Forget the lamp, Martha Stewart!
340
00:20:53,765 --> 00:20:56,186
Okay! Okay, okay! Jump away!
341
00:20:56,310 --> 00:20:58,860
All right! Now, and...
342
00:20:58,979 --> 00:21:00,616
- Clear!
- What are you doing?
343
00:21:00,731 --> 00:21:03,199
What? Why isn't it working?
Deb, do something!
344
00:21:03,317 --> 00:21:06,034
Please don't struggle, Mrs Jones!
345
00:21:06,153 --> 00:21:08,039
Oh! She's old!
346
00:21:16,079 --> 00:21:18,132
- Yeah!
- All right!
347
00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:22,971
I mean, that was a terrible, actually,
cos she was my neighbour.
348
00:21:23,086 --> 00:21:26,016
But that's, uh... Let's get the food.
349
00:21:31,970 --> 00:21:35,621
These are the crappiest snacks.
Didn't this lady eat any solids?
350
00:21:40,145 --> 00:21:41,356
Whoa!
351
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,066
At least they're three floors down.
352
00:21:45,567 --> 00:21:48,533
Aah! Fire escape! Fire escape!
353
00:21:54,993 --> 00:21:56,963
Wait! Slow down!
354
00:21:57,079 --> 00:21:59,380
What are you doing?
You should've left all that stuff!
355
00:21:59,498 --> 00:22:01,835
- Sorry. Fine!
- No, no, no, don't just...
356
00:22:01,959 --> 00:22:03,715
Sorry.
357
00:22:03,836 --> 00:22:05,010
Shit!
358
00:22:05,129 --> 00:22:07,216
Great! Now look what you made me do.
359
00:22:12,469 --> 00:22:14,889
Well, that's it. We're toast.
360
00:22:15,013 --> 00:22:17,481
It's stupid for us both to die.
361
00:22:19,309 --> 00:22:21,611
- I'm gonna give you a chance.
- What are you talking about?
362
00:22:21,728 --> 00:22:22,772
Ssh!
363
00:22:22,896 --> 00:22:25,115
Earn this. Huh?
364
00:22:28,026 --> 00:22:30,281
- Come on.
- When the moment is right,
365
00:22:30,404 --> 00:22:32,243
you grab your bike and go!
366
00:22:32,364 --> 00:22:34,286
Who wants a piece of this?
367
00:22:47,212 --> 00:22:49,514
Why are you hitting yourself?
Why are you hitting yourself?
368
00:22:49,631 --> 00:22:51,886
Why are you hitting yourself?
369
00:22:52,009 --> 00:22:54,228
Here, guys. I'm right here.
370
00:22:54,344 --> 00:22:56,350
Come on, you guys, get over here.
371
00:22:56,472 --> 00:22:58,856
Come on, you guys. I'm just right here.
372
00:22:58,974 --> 00:23:00,232
Hey!
373
00:23:07,107 --> 00:23:08,400
Whoa!
374
00:23:08,525 --> 00:23:09,699
Aah!
375
00:23:09,818 --> 00:23:12,867
That was awesome! You were awesome!
376
00:23:12,988 --> 00:23:14,910
I feel so alive!
377
00:23:15,032 --> 00:23:17,119
- Tell me you have your keys.
- Yes!
378
00:23:25,709 --> 00:23:29,340
You saved me, Ryan! You effing saved me!
379
00:23:29,463 --> 00:23:32,891
I think we can be pretty sure
that you like me.
380
00:23:33,008 --> 00:23:34,894
Good, God! Do you live in here?
381
00:23:35,010 --> 00:23:36,398
No!
382
00:23:38,472 --> 00:23:40,062
Not any more.
383
00:23:40,182 --> 00:23:42,234
Maybe there's something more
about this on the radio.
384
00:23:42,351 --> 00:23:44,854
Don't you ever touch a black man's radio!
385
00:23:44,978 --> 00:23:47,315
It's Chris Tucker, Rush Hour.
386
00:23:47,439 --> 00:23:49,693
Radio's busted. Tape player works, though.
387
00:23:49,817 --> 00:23:52,949
Oh, well, that's completely useless.
388
00:23:54,446 --> 00:23:55,953
Ten points!
389
00:23:56,073 --> 00:23:58,208
W-w-what are you doing?
390
00:23:58,325 --> 00:23:59,962
I know! Low hanging fruit, right?
391
00:24:01,245 --> 00:24:03,214
Aah! No, no! Stop that.
392
00:24:03,330 --> 00:24:06,794
Don't worry about it! This is like
swatting mosquitoes for little Otis.
393
00:24:06,917 --> 00:24:10,511
No, no! You can't just murder these zombies.
These are people.
394
00:24:10,629 --> 00:24:13,014
Um... maybe they were once.
395
00:24:13,132 --> 00:24:15,896
No. For all we know, some chemist
could be working on a cure right now.
396
00:24:16,009 --> 00:24:17,397
- They could be turned normal again.
- Sure!
397
00:24:17,511 --> 00:24:19,931
And maybe we can all hold hands
and skip to Yum-Yum Town,
398
00:24:20,055 --> 00:24:22,689
where rainbows shoot
out of the butts of unicorns.
399
00:24:22,808 --> 00:24:24,149
I'm serious.
400
00:24:25,269 --> 00:24:28,531
Ryan, even if you're right,
would they really want to come back?
401
00:24:28,647 --> 00:24:32,527
How would you deal with the fact that you
just ate your roommate's lower intestine?
402
00:24:32,651 --> 00:24:35,368
Okay, okay. I wasn't looking on that one.
403
00:24:35,487 --> 00:24:36,994
Please, Deb.
404
00:24:41,577 --> 00:24:43,712
Enjoy your life, zombies.
405
00:24:49,626 --> 00:24:52,841
I always knew this town was dead,
but this is ridiculous.
406
00:24:52,963 --> 00:24:54,636
Cha-cha-cha!
407
00:24:54,756 --> 00:24:56,559
How many miles does this boat get?
408
00:24:56,675 --> 00:24:58,894
Oh, you're gonna bust on my car now?
409
00:24:59,011 --> 00:25:02,475
No, no, I was just thinking about
when we need to fill up the gas again.
410
00:25:02,598 --> 00:25:06,821
No, no, I hear it in your voice.
"Otis is offensive. Otis is unclean."
411
00:25:06,935 --> 00:25:10,993
Do you know, like, what the emissions from
this car actually do to the environment?
412
00:25:11,106 --> 00:25:14,155
I'm sorry, I must have missed
that page in Ryan's Guide To Being
413
00:25:14,276 --> 00:25:16,577
- A Completely Perfect Humanoid.
- No, no!
414
00:25:16,695 --> 00:25:20,373
It's not about being perfect.
Clean energy is just the right thing to do.
415
00:25:20,491 --> 00:25:22,293
Energy is messy, okay.
416
00:25:22,409 --> 00:25:27,048
I mean, it's really cute to eat organic millet
and drive around in a hovercraft or whatever,
417
00:25:27,164 --> 00:25:29,169
but look around you, dude.
418
00:25:29,291 --> 00:25:32,673
We lost. We tried to save the planet
and this is where it got us.
419
00:25:32,795 --> 00:25:35,927
- God, you sound just like my dad.
- Really?
420
00:25:36,048 --> 00:25:38,468
The guy sounds awesome.
What are you, adopted?
421
00:25:38,592 --> 00:25:43,432
That's good. Nice one. That's actually the
family joke. My brother makes it all the time.
422
00:25:44,494 --> 00:25:50,673
It's a good one. Look, I'm sorry.
My family is not a Hallmark card either.
423
00:25:52,356 --> 00:25:54,527
I remember every Fourth,
424
00:25:54,650 --> 00:25:58,707
my dad would bring us all up to the roof
to watch fireworks over the eastern prom.
425
00:25:58,821 --> 00:26:03,791
And then, one year, around dusk,
the guy's nowhere to be found.
426
00:26:03,909 --> 00:26:07,966
So we go up to the roof
and that's when we saw him.
427
00:26:09,915 --> 00:26:13,130
He was lying there in the backyard,
428
00:26:13,252 --> 00:26:15,838
right by the barbecue.
429
00:26:15,963 --> 00:26:18,015
He almost looked like he was asleep.
430
00:26:20,467 --> 00:26:24,727
He was changing out the propane tank.
It was the best cookout ever.
431
00:26:27,266 --> 00:26:29,353
- That's the end of the story?
- Mm-hm.
432
00:26:29,476 --> 00:26:32,193
That's a ridiculous... That was so strange.
433
00:26:32,312 --> 00:26:34,649
- It's all going one direction and then...
- But that was a good memory.
434
00:26:34,773 --> 00:26:36,825
It's not all like that.
435
00:26:36,942 --> 00:26:38,864
It's a mixed bag.
436
00:26:38,986 --> 00:26:41,322
Okay, well, anyway, um...
437
00:26:42,406 --> 00:26:45,834
My dad is pissed because
I won't work for the family business.
438
00:26:45,951 --> 00:26:47,505
Really? What's wrong with it?
439
00:26:47,619 --> 00:26:51,546
It's rated the most environmentally
unsound business in the state.
440
00:26:51,665 --> 00:26:54,346
Waverly Water Treatment?
441
00:26:54,460 --> 00:26:56,880
You're a Waverly? Oh, my God!
442
00:26:57,004 --> 00:27:00,136
- How did you put that together?
- Because I work in the news, remember?
443
00:27:00,257 --> 00:27:04,766
Don't get me wrong, that company seems like
pure evil but the buckage must be pretty good.
444
00:27:04,887 --> 00:27:08,849
Yeah, well, not for me. I'm not gonna
work there, so my brother's gonna get it all.
445
00:27:08,974 --> 00:27:11,109
Mm, tough break.
446
00:27:11,226 --> 00:27:13,563
Where the fuck are we?
447
00:27:14,897 --> 00:27:16,699
Wait. What are you doing?
448
00:27:16,815 --> 00:27:18,951
Just gotta stop in here.
449
00:27:22,905 --> 00:27:25,835
Yule Mart? No, no, we agreed.
450
00:27:25,949 --> 00:27:28,630
No more stopping. My dad's place
is just a couple of miles up the road.
451
00:27:28,744 --> 00:27:32,920
Yeah, and we're gonna get there. But my
friend's inside. I have to see if she's okay.
452
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,127
Fine. Five minutes.
453
00:27:35,250 --> 00:27:37,670
Do we have anything deadlier
than a bike chain?
454
00:27:38,754 --> 00:27:39,846
Uh...
455
00:27:39,963 --> 00:27:41,636
This... thing.
456
00:27:41,757 --> 00:27:42,801
No.
457
00:27:42,925 --> 00:27:45,144
Oh, check the glove box.
458
00:27:49,348 --> 00:27:51,269
Maybe that?
459
00:27:54,144 --> 00:27:57,490
You've had a gun this entire time?
460
00:27:57,606 --> 00:28:00,703
Yeah, it was in there when I bought the car.
461
00:28:00,818 --> 00:28:04,032
It's mostly for show, though,
it only has two bullets.
462
00:28:04,154 --> 00:28:06,954
If it comes down to it,
we'll use it to tap out.
463
00:28:07,074 --> 00:28:09,209
- "Tap out"?
- Yeah.
464
00:28:09,326 --> 00:28:11,663
You know, if we get infected.
465
00:28:11,787 --> 00:28:13,709
Tap. Poof!
466
00:28:13,831 --> 00:28:16,132
And then tap. Poof!
467
00:28:16,250 --> 00:28:18,551
You just shot yourself first.
468
00:28:18,669 --> 00:28:22,430
Oh, I'm sorry, Ryan! I haven't worked out
the math on our murder-suicide yet!
469
00:28:22,548 --> 00:28:24,766
Okay, let me be really clear about this.
470
00:28:24,883 --> 00:28:27,054
I do not want to be tapped out.
471
00:28:28,220 --> 00:28:29,941
Right, you say that now!
472
00:28:30,055 --> 00:28:34,017
No, seriously, if I get infected, just let me
run off into the woods or something.
473
00:28:34,143 --> 00:28:37,441
You'll feel differently when you get
infected. I don't want you to suffer.
474
00:28:37,563 --> 00:28:41,240
No, I could not be more sure about this.
I do not want you to shoot me in the head.
475
00:28:41,358 --> 00:28:44,075
Sure, sure, sure. Okay, okay.
We'll see, though.
476
00:28:44,194 --> 00:28:45,286
Okay?
477
00:28:51,118 --> 00:28:52,708
Stay alert.
478
00:28:55,831 --> 00:28:58,630
Jingle bells, jingle bells...
479
00:28:59,460 --> 00:29:02,224
Oh, what fun it is to ride...
480
00:29:13,348 --> 00:29:15,069
Deck the halls with...
481
00:29:18,645 --> 00:29:21,778
- Look at all this crap.
- You don't like Christmas?
482
00:29:21,899 --> 00:29:24,782
Are you kidding, me?
I freakin' love Christmas.
483
00:29:24,902 --> 00:29:28,579
Which is why I think these plastic trees
are for Tyre stores and...
484
00:29:28,697 --> 00:29:30,619
communists.
485
00:29:30,741 --> 00:29:34,668
When I have kids, I'm gonna take them
every year to cut down a real tree.
486
00:29:34,787 --> 00:29:37,752
You realise it takes ten years
for one of those trees to grow
487
00:29:37,873 --> 00:29:39,629
and only seconds to saw the life out of it?
488
00:29:39,750 --> 00:29:42,431
If there's a bigger buzz-kill than you, sir,
I do not know what that looks like.
489
00:29:42,544 --> 00:29:45,842
I'm just saying that we should celebrate
planting a tree with the children,
490
00:29:45,964 --> 00:29:47,518
rather than destroying one.
491
00:29:47,633 --> 00:29:49,021
"We"?
492
00:29:49,134 --> 00:29:51,685
- Yeah, you know. I mean, people, Earth.
- A-huh.
493
00:29:51,804 --> 00:29:53,310
But you said "the children".
494
00:29:53,430 --> 00:29:55,435
If you meant children in general,
you would've said something like...
495
00:29:55,557 --> 00:29:57,278
Oh, my God!
496
00:29:57,392 --> 00:29:59,398
That sweater!
497
00:30:02,272 --> 00:30:03,696
Ruby?
498
00:30:03,816 --> 00:30:06,200
Honey, are you okay?
499
00:30:08,070 --> 00:30:09,826
Look out!
500
00:30:13,617 --> 00:30:15,954
Well, it looks like she's
full-on zombie, let's jet.
501
00:30:16,078 --> 00:30:19,565
- Wait! We can't leave her like that.
- What do you suggest?
502
00:30:20,207 --> 00:30:23,844
- Tap, tap.
- Use our bullets on her?
503
00:30:23,961 --> 00:30:26,844
It's the right thing to do. Besides,
you said you don't want to use them.
504
00:30:26,964 --> 00:30:28,257
But the gun's in the car.
505
00:30:32,052 --> 00:30:33,440
Here.
506
00:30:33,554 --> 00:30:35,606
You distract her and lead her outside.
507
00:30:35,722 --> 00:30:37,395
I'll do the rest.
508
00:30:40,102 --> 00:30:41,276
Hey!
509
00:30:41,395 --> 00:30:43,863
Sale on flesh over here!
510
00:30:45,524 --> 00:30:46,817
Ruby?
511
00:30:52,364 --> 00:30:53,456
Deb!
512
00:30:54,533 --> 00:30:57,831
- What's going on?
- Get on the roof! Trust me!
513
00:30:57,953 --> 00:31:00,005
I don't trust you!
514
00:31:08,797 --> 00:31:10,470
Yahtzee!
515
00:31:13,093 --> 00:31:15,597
Did I hurt you in a past life or something?
516
00:31:15,721 --> 00:31:19,149
I just thought maybe you're right.
Maybe they'll find a cure for this some day.
517
00:31:19,266 --> 00:31:20,938
- Well, if I can change one mind.
- Hey...
518
00:31:21,059 --> 00:31:24,402
You saved a zombie, kid,
you didn't undo apartheid.
519
00:31:25,939 --> 00:31:28,443
Okay, let's go find your peeps.
520
00:31:28,567 --> 00:31:30,537
Hang in there, Rubs.
521
00:31:30,652 --> 00:31:32,704
It's up here on the right.
522
00:31:35,824 --> 00:31:38,838
Good. That's Stacy's car.
I'm glad she knew to come here.
523
00:31:38,952 --> 00:31:42,416
Yay! So glad Stacy isn't dead.
524
00:31:42,539 --> 00:31:45,802
Look, Deb, I hope this isn't going to...
525
00:31:45,918 --> 00:31:47,555
Are you out of your mind?
526
00:31:47,669 --> 00:31:49,971
What? We both agreed we're
not going to leave this car again.
527
00:31:50,088 --> 00:31:53,552
Until we get here, yeah! Obviously,
we have to get out to collect them.
528
00:31:53,675 --> 00:31:56,440
- We don't even know if they're in there.
- Trust me, they are.
529
00:31:56,553 --> 00:31:59,567
We always get together on the Fourth.
It's my dad's favourite holiday.
530
00:31:59,681 --> 00:32:02,695
Well, prepare yourself.
They may not be the people you remember.
531
00:32:02,810 --> 00:32:06,440
Oh, I have no doubt they'll be
unrelenting flesh-eating monsters,
532
00:32:06,563 --> 00:32:09,529
but I bet they won't be zombies. Okay.
533
00:32:09,650 --> 00:32:12,747
I deserve the things I want.
My needs are worthwhile.
534
00:32:12,861 --> 00:32:15,958
I'm not hurting anyone by being myself.
535
00:32:16,073 --> 00:32:18,659
What are you doing, Rain Man?
536
00:32:18,784 --> 00:32:22,580
I like to take a second to centre
myself every time I come here.
537
00:32:22,704 --> 00:32:26,762
I deserve the things I want.
My needs are worthwhile.
538
00:32:26,875 --> 00:32:30,090
- I'm not hurting anyone by being myself.
- Uh, uh... I want to be supportive, an' all,
539
00:32:30,212 --> 00:32:32,762
but is this mantra much longer?
540
00:32:38,627 --> 00:32:42,358
- Oh, man! What is it again?
- Well, why don't you try Stacy's phone number.
541
00:32:42,474 --> 00:32:47,149
Will you just give it a rest, all right?
You're like the Terminator of sarcasm.
542
00:32:47,271 --> 00:32:50,201
I drove you here, in my car,
543
00:32:50,315 --> 00:32:54,705
and you've been treating me like I'm just a bag
of wet diapers that you have to lug around.
544
00:32:54,820 --> 00:32:58,248
Well, that actually sounds less shitty
than whatever we've got going on now.
545
00:32:58,365 --> 00:33:02,588
Oh, wow! You know, I thought that
you were a cool guy back at the bar,
546
00:33:02,703 --> 00:33:05,716
but now I find out you're
some spoiled pretty boy.
547
00:33:05,831 --> 00:33:10,054
Excuse me, "pretty boy"? I have
a very masculine set of features, okay?
548
00:33:10,169 --> 00:33:12,470
If anything, my look is "burnished rugged".
549
00:33:12,588 --> 00:33:14,427
Nobody who is that says that!
550
00:33:14,548 --> 00:33:17,182
- I do.
- Your hair has not moved this entire time!
551
00:33:17,301 --> 00:33:19,981
It's thick, it requires maintenance.
You have no idea!
552
00:33:20,095 --> 00:33:23,192
You haven't taken a shower since
yesterday and yet you still smell
553
00:33:23,307 --> 00:33:25,027
like sandalwood and lilac!
554
00:33:25,142 --> 00:33:30,315
Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to distract you
from being the weirdest person in the world!
555
00:33:33,150 --> 00:33:35,124
God, Chaz!
556
00:33:35,228 --> 00:33:37,325
- Did you change the gate code?
- Depends.
557
00:33:37,446 --> 00:33:42,286
- How do I know you're not... one of them?
- Because I'm speaking in words.
558
00:33:43,577 --> 00:33:45,629
- What about her?
- Gimme a break, Chaz!
559
00:33:45,746 --> 00:33:48,083
Hi, I'm Deb.
560
00:33:49,875 --> 00:33:52,675
- Will you knock it off?
- You're Ryan's big brother?
561
00:33:52,795 --> 00:33:55,678
- You're so... different.
- Thanks. We think he's adopted.
562
00:33:55,798 --> 00:33:57,055
Oh, that never gets old.
563
00:33:57,174 --> 00:34:00,022
Can we please come in?
We've had really a long day.
564
00:34:00,135 --> 00:34:03,682
So, wait, excuse me, wait.
What are you? Are you the rebound?
565
00:34:03,806 --> 00:34:05,775
Oh, busted!
566
00:34:05,891 --> 00:34:09,355
How did you know, dude?
You're probably an uncle now.
567
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,825
- No! No, no, that's not...
- I knew it!
568
00:34:12,940 --> 00:34:14,779
- Stacy's here, right?
- Oh!
569
00:34:14,900 --> 00:34:17,949
She told me all about your big breakup, stud.
570
00:34:18,070 --> 00:34:20,039
Looks like you didn't waste
much time moving on now, did you?
571
00:34:20,155 --> 00:34:22,706
No, that's not...
We're just helping each other.
572
00:34:22,825 --> 00:34:24,664
I'm sure you are. Huh!
573
00:34:25,869 --> 00:34:28,503
Deb, I'm Chaz.
574
00:34:28,622 --> 00:34:32,177
Clearly the more masculine
of the two Waverly brothers.
575
00:34:33,193 --> 00:34:35,429
- Good shot.
- I aim to please.
576
00:34:35,533 --> 00:34:38,892
Okay! Open the gate!
577
00:34:39,007 --> 00:34:41,143
- You need the code, man.
- Okay.
578
00:34:41,260 --> 00:34:43,016
- Do you want it?
- Yes!
579
00:34:43,137 --> 00:34:46,850
Okay, it's five, eight, zero, zero eight.
580
00:34:46,974 --> 00:34:49,145
That's... It's "BOOBS" upside down.
581
00:34:49,268 --> 00:34:51,439
- Wow!
- Yeah.
582
00:34:51,562 --> 00:34:54,195
A gentleman, too! Ooh-Ia-Ia!
583
00:34:54,314 --> 00:34:57,007
Thank you, Chaz.
584
00:35:00,946 --> 00:35:02,785
Oh! Shoot!
585
00:35:04,241 --> 00:35:05,534
Dad?
586
00:35:05,659 --> 00:35:09,372
Whoa! This is, like,
straight out of Mitchell Black!
587
00:35:09,496 --> 00:35:12,510
Ryan! Oh, my Rye-bread, you're all right.
588
00:35:12,624 --> 00:35:15,258
- We thought for sure...
- No, no, I'm... I'm okay.
589
00:35:15,377 --> 00:35:18,260
Hey, Stacy, did you meet Deb?
She came here with Ryan, together.
590
00:35:18,380 --> 00:35:22,556
- Where did you creep up from?
- Oh, I just... came with Rye-bread.
591
00:35:22,676 --> 00:35:24,562
They helped each other get across town.
592
00:35:24,678 --> 00:35:26,849
God knows what they had to do
to survive. Isn't that swell?
593
00:35:26,972 --> 00:35:28,775
So helpful.
594
00:35:28,891 --> 00:35:31,062
- Do we tip her or...
- It was nothing.
595
00:35:31,185 --> 00:35:36,535
It was just one hand stroking the other.
Friends with benefits, as they say.
596
00:35:36,648 --> 00:35:38,202
- I'm glad you made it.
- Oh!
597
00:35:38,317 --> 00:35:39,989
Dad! Dad, look...
598
00:35:40,110 --> 00:35:43,456
I've been thinking, I'm really sorry for
what I said on the phone last night.
599
00:35:43,572 --> 00:35:45,411
I've been thinking all day and I was worried
600
00:35:45,532 --> 00:35:47,537
those would be the last words
we ever said to each other.
601
00:35:47,659 --> 00:35:51,882
Could I see you in the kitchen for a moment?
I need a little help with my brownies.
602
00:35:51,997 --> 00:35:54,085
Mr Waverly? Hi.
603
00:35:54,208 --> 00:35:55,335
Hi.
604
00:35:59,379 --> 00:36:01,764
I always help him with the brownies.
605
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,647
- Hey, Deb, how much you bench?
- Right now?
606
00:36:05,761 --> 00:36:08,015
- Yeah.
- Forty?
607
00:36:08,138 --> 00:36:10,226
How could you be so boneheaded?
608
00:36:10,349 --> 00:36:13,528
- Stacy's here. She's not family.
- Stacy's inner circle.
609
00:36:13,644 --> 00:36:15,815
She's been here since last night,
for God's sake.
610
00:36:15,938 --> 00:36:17,658
- She has?
- The point is,
611
00:36:17,773 --> 00:36:19,493
I spoke with the Governor on the shortwave.
612
00:36:19,608 --> 00:36:23,784
He's arranged a chopper evac at
the county line at 0900 hours tomorrow.
613
00:36:23,904 --> 00:36:28,080
- For the four of us, not five.
- I'm sure Deb can squeeze in.
614
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:32,127
Oh! You're a big man
now all of a sudden, huh?
615
00:36:32,246 --> 00:36:35,010
Why did I not get the memo?
616
00:36:35,124 --> 00:36:37,460
Well, this is bigger than you are, smart guy!
617
00:36:37,584 --> 00:36:39,672
And you'd know that if you'd
listened on the phone last night,
618
00:36:39,795 --> 00:36:41,966
instead of blathering on
about your principles.
619
00:36:42,089 --> 00:36:47,178
Wait, so you knew last night that
people were gonna turn into zombies?
620
00:36:47,302 --> 00:36:49,983
No, no, no, no.
621
00:36:50,097 --> 00:36:52,896
These people aren't... what you said.
622
00:36:53,016 --> 00:36:55,520
They're just ordinary citizens,
623
00:36:55,644 --> 00:36:58,325
who happen to have contracted
624
00:36:58,438 --> 00:37:02,496
a parasite-borne virus that makes
their corporal bodies decompose
625
00:37:02,609 --> 00:37:04,911
and gives them an insatiable
appetite for human flesh.
626
00:37:05,028 --> 00:37:08,327
Oh, my God! The water.
627
00:37:08,448 --> 00:37:12,411
Now, Ryan, come on,
it's just a very complicated situation.
628
00:37:12,536 --> 00:37:15,384
All right? We haven't got our arms
around all the details yet.
629
00:37:15,497 --> 00:37:17,585
Well, get your arms around this,
Deb's coming with us!
630
00:37:17,708 --> 00:37:21,054
- That's not an option.
- If you leave her out, I go too.
631
00:37:21,170 --> 00:37:24,847
I promised her I would get her out of town
and I'm keeping that promise.
632
00:37:33,223 --> 00:37:34,481
Mm!
633
00:37:35,893 --> 00:37:38,989
- You can't talk, Stacy, while I'm shooting.
- I didn't.
634
00:37:39,104 --> 00:37:42,568
So you're saying people became zombies
last night if they drank the city water?
635
00:37:42,691 --> 00:37:45,159
Or bathed in it,
which explains how you were spared.
636
00:37:45,277 --> 00:37:47,614
Stacy, Deb is my guest. Please!
637
00:37:47,738 --> 00:37:52,495
I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just going by
the look of her hair and face and clothes.
638
00:37:52,618 --> 00:37:57,541
But, Ryan, you take a shower, like,
every ten minutes. Why didn't you turn?
639
00:37:57,664 --> 00:37:59,136
Unless...
640
00:37:59,249 --> 00:38:01,385
I think I'm gonna be sick.
641
00:38:01,502 --> 00:38:02,973
Hi-ooh!
642
00:38:03,086 --> 00:38:07,263
- Longest walk of shame ever!
- No, no! That's not...
643
00:38:07,382 --> 00:38:09,601
Nothing happened, we both just passed out.
644
00:38:09,718 --> 00:38:13,230
- I mean, something happened.
- I'm sure it did!
645
00:38:13,347 --> 00:38:18,484
While you two were getting gross with each
other, I took care of Stacy and her pussy cats.
646
00:38:18,602 --> 00:38:19,776
Ryan...
647
00:38:20,979 --> 00:38:23,909
You were right and I was wrong.
648
00:38:24,024 --> 00:38:27,453
I have decided to keep the nutmeg in.
649
00:38:27,569 --> 00:38:31,081
- Oh, I'm glad you see it that way.
- Mm-hm.
650
00:38:31,198 --> 00:38:36,122
Nutmeg can be a bit much at times,
but that's no reason to abandon it.
651
00:38:36,245 --> 00:38:39,459
You guys are what, trading recipes now?
And when did that start happening?
652
00:38:39,581 --> 00:38:41,669
Chaz, will you just give
your ears a rest, please?
653
00:38:41,792 --> 00:38:44,924
- Okay, yeah.
- The important thing is, we're safe.
654
00:38:45,045 --> 00:38:47,346
We're all safe!
655
00:38:47,464 --> 00:38:50,430
Oh! Holy frijoles!
656
00:38:50,551 --> 00:38:51,844
Oh, man!
657
00:38:51,969 --> 00:38:56,358
Topper? You still have that
giant boozehound on the payroll?
658
00:38:56,473 --> 00:38:57,600
Hi, Ryan.
659
00:38:57,724 --> 00:39:02,529
That giant boozehound saved your privileged
little ass numerous times when you were a boy.
660
00:39:02,646 --> 00:39:05,659
Topper, just keep walking the
perimeter or no brownie for you.
661
00:39:05,774 --> 00:39:08,657
Yeah, like when Leah Schiffer
discovered me at hide-and-seek
662
00:39:08,777 --> 00:39:11,660
and got put in the hospital?
She didn't walk right ever again.
663
00:39:11,780 --> 00:39:16,122
Leah didn't play by the rules.
Society crumbles without rules.
664
00:39:16,243 --> 00:39:18,663
- Amen, Pop.
- And speaking of crumbling...
665
00:39:18,787 --> 00:39:21,753
I'm pretty sure my brownies
must be cool enough by now.
666
00:39:21,874 --> 00:39:24,342
Shall we all adjourn to the living room?
667
00:39:24,460 --> 00:39:26,714
Leah Schiffer!
668
00:39:26,837 --> 00:39:30,717
Easy does it there. Mmm!
669
00:39:30,841 --> 00:39:33,806
Will you look at that, huh?
670
00:39:33,927 --> 00:39:34,971
Sorry, I...
671
00:39:35,095 --> 00:39:37,599
I'm still stuck on this water thing.
672
00:39:37,723 --> 00:39:40,902
It's boring stuff, dear,
a little bit too technical.
673
00:39:41,018 --> 00:39:45,739
Does it have to do with the ultraviolet treatment
process that you're testing at Waverly Water?
674
00:39:45,856 --> 00:39:49,450
What? No. Not according to public record.
675
00:39:49,568 --> 00:39:52,533
Where did you ever hear
such a preposterous fabrication?
676
00:39:53,906 --> 00:39:56,877
I keep my ear to the ground for my job.
677
00:39:56,992 --> 00:39:59,543
Deb Clarington, News Channel Seven.
678
00:39:59,661 --> 00:40:04,667
Your system is supposed to cut the cost
of purifying our water by half, right?
679
00:40:04,792 --> 00:40:07,971
That's... brilliant and ambitious.
680
00:40:08,086 --> 00:40:11,135
Well, yes, it was supposed to be
a boon for the entire town.
681
00:40:11,256 --> 00:40:14,222
And we could sell the surplus
to the bottling companies.
682
00:40:14,343 --> 00:40:18,566
But weren't you supposed
to still be in beta on the process?
683
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:19,772
We... we were.
684
00:40:19,890 --> 00:40:22,820
Then... why the rush, Frank?
685
00:40:22,935 --> 00:40:26,197
I told the Governor that we needed more time,
686
00:40:26,313 --> 00:40:30,110
that the pre-filters weren't
catching all of the bio-pathogens yet.
687
00:40:30,234 --> 00:40:34,077
But he... he insisted that we
roll it out before the holidays,
688
00:40:34,196 --> 00:40:36,664
so he could squeeze it into the Q2 budget.
689
00:40:36,782 --> 00:40:39,416
And by "insisted," I'm sure you
mean he gave you a huge kickback.
690
00:40:39,535 --> 00:40:43,592
How were we supposed to know it was going
to be a banner year for the Ichabod virus?
691
00:40:43,705 --> 00:40:47,051
The same thing that wiped out
the indigenous Wabanaki Indians?
692
00:40:47,167 --> 00:40:50,346
- Wobanaki Indians, Pop.
- Wobanaki Indians.
693
00:40:50,462 --> 00:40:54,555
I'm supposed to be proud of you that you
wiped out the entire population of our town?
694
00:40:54,675 --> 00:40:56,431
You see that? You always go to the negative.
695
00:40:56,552 --> 00:40:57,726
- I'm proud of you. Pop.
- Always!
696
00:40:57,845 --> 00:40:59,351
Population or no population.
697
00:40:59,471 --> 00:41:03,896
Oh, come on, relax now, babe.
We've got some catching up to do! Hm-hm!
698
00:41:04,017 --> 00:41:07,481
Okay. Well, jeez, it's been a hoot.
699
00:41:07,604 --> 00:41:10,950
- But I think I need to skedaddle down the road.
- No, Deb, wait!
700
00:41:11,066 --> 00:41:14,779
- Why, right?
- You can't go back out there.
701
00:41:14,903 --> 00:41:17,751
My dad arranged a helicopter
for us in the morning.
702
00:41:17,865 --> 00:41:20,913
Plus, you must be exhausted.
We hardly slept last night.
703
00:41:21,034 --> 00:41:24,961
You know those times when you can taste
your own stomach acid? I have that right now.
704
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:29,470
- I know what you mean.
- I'm going to be just fine, chief.
705
00:41:29,585 --> 00:41:34,341
This was the deal. We got you here,
now I'm going to get on to my own family.
706
00:41:34,465 --> 00:41:37,763
So... thanks for the mammaries.
707
00:41:40,429 --> 00:41:43,084
Nobody's going anywhere!
708
00:41:43,765 --> 00:41:46,814
Till they taste one of my freedom brownies!
709
00:41:47,457 --> 00:41:50,069
- Chaz. Give this to Topper.
- I got it, Pop.
710
00:41:50,189 --> 00:41:52,194
For close-range kills.
711
00:41:55,465 --> 00:41:57,038
Stay.
712
00:41:57,154 --> 00:42:03,169
The brownies are a Fourth of July tradition
that we started when Ryan's mother was alive.
713
00:42:03,285 --> 00:42:07,082
- You remind me of her, in a way.
- I think we did that, like, twice.
714
00:42:07,206 --> 00:42:10,634
- If it means that much to you, of course.
- Yes.
715
00:42:12,544 --> 00:42:13,553
Oh!
716
00:42:13,670 --> 00:42:14,963
Mm?
717
00:42:16,131 --> 00:42:18,455
Gosh! That is...
718
00:42:19,092 --> 00:42:20,932
...so good.
719
00:42:21,053 --> 00:42:24,018
I'm surprised Chaz hasn't added
creatine to his brownie yet.
720
00:42:24,139 --> 00:42:26,725
Hey! I'm just trying
to stay strong for all of us.
721
00:42:26,850 --> 00:42:30,113
What are you gonna do when
the shit hits the fan? Huh, little brother?
722
00:42:30,229 --> 00:42:32,732
Are you going to come out with your
hair-dryer, is that what you're gonna do?
723
00:42:32,856 --> 00:42:35,027
- Huh, little brother?
- Whoa!
724
00:42:35,150 --> 00:42:36,704
- Stop it!
- Hey, hey!
725
00:42:36,819 --> 00:42:39,239
Stop it! Get off me!
726
00:42:39,363 --> 00:42:41,332
Get off me!
727
00:42:41,448 --> 00:42:43,667
You guys are acting worse
than those things out there.
728
00:42:43,784 --> 00:42:46,749
Oh, I thought they were just ordinary
citizens who got a little wet.
729
00:42:46,870 --> 00:42:50,583
- Oh, shut up, you little piss-ant.
- Pop, I got it!
730
00:42:50,707 --> 00:42:52,629
Come on, you numbskulls, you idiots!
731
00:42:52,751 --> 00:42:55,385
- If your mother... Stop it!
- I got him!
732
00:42:55,504 --> 00:42:57,094
- I can't get up!
- I got him!
733
00:42:57,214 --> 00:43:00,346
- He's trapped!
- Through the night rode Paul Revere.
734
00:43:00,467 --> 00:43:04,311
And so through the night
went his cry of alarm.
735
00:43:04,429 --> 00:43:07,893
Through every Middlesex village and farm
736
00:43:08,016 --> 00:43:10,318
a cry of defiance
737
00:43:10,435 --> 00:43:12,523
and not of fear.
738
00:43:12,646 --> 00:43:16,869
- What the bejeezus was that?
- That was Longfellow. Deb's favourite.
739
00:43:16,984 --> 00:43:20,661
Ah, Longfellow. You know,
he's from here. Maine. Portland.
740
00:43:20,779 --> 00:43:24,623
You know, maybe it's not my place, but...
741
00:43:24,741 --> 00:43:27,078
you guys are with family.
742
00:43:27,202 --> 00:43:29,457
We're lucky we're even alive.
743
00:43:29,580 --> 00:43:31,715
You see that, boys?
744
00:43:31,832 --> 00:43:36,138
The little redhead's right.
It's the Fourth of July, for God's sake.
745
00:43:36,253 --> 00:43:38,258
You're right. Yeah.
746
00:43:38,380 --> 00:43:40,468
Let's blow some shit up. Yeah?
747
00:43:40,591 --> 00:43:42,263
Yeah?
748
00:43:45,846 --> 00:43:47,269
Wait for it.
749
00:43:47,389 --> 00:43:49,110
- Wait for it.
- Yeah.
750
00:43:49,224 --> 00:43:51,561
- Here comes the good part. There it is.
- Oh, wow!
751
00:43:51,685 --> 00:43:53,607
Check that out!
752
00:43:53,729 --> 00:43:55,022
- That's great.
- Sweet!
753
00:43:55,147 --> 00:43:59,239
Up next, I got a big aerial display. It explodes
and then a roaring bear face comes out.
754
00:43:59,359 --> 00:44:02,788
No, no, no. That's enough.
We don't want to attract too much attention.
755
00:44:02,905 --> 00:44:05,455
What? Dad, I got, like, all these M80's.
756
00:44:05,574 --> 00:44:09,086
- You don't want to see the bear face?
- No! No, I do not.
757
00:44:09,828 --> 00:44:11,623
I shouldn't let you do this one.
758
00:44:11,747 --> 00:44:15,543
Okay, everybody, drink up. I'm gonna turn in.
759
00:44:15,667 --> 00:44:18,800
We have to have our wits
about us in the morning, so...
760
00:44:18,921 --> 00:44:20,511
- Ooh, quick question.
- Yeah.
761
00:44:20,631 --> 00:44:22,682
Where's everybody sleeping?
762
00:44:23,675 --> 00:44:27,270
Well, Ryan and Stacy
will stay in Ryan's old room,
763
00:44:27,387 --> 00:44:31,445
and Deborah over there...
How you doing there, hon?
764
00:44:31,558 --> 00:44:33,813
- I'm fine.
- Okay!
765
00:44:33,936 --> 00:44:36,071
She's going to be in your room, all right?
766
00:44:36,188 --> 00:44:39,118
And you're going to stand watch with Topper.
767
00:44:39,233 --> 00:44:41,202
- Come on, walk with me.
- Hm!
768
00:44:41,318 --> 00:44:43,572
- Walk with me, Chaz. Come!
- Hm!
769
00:44:46,156 --> 00:44:47,746
Come on.
770
00:44:49,034 --> 00:44:52,297
- I'm so glad that you're safe, babe.
- Yeah.
771
00:44:52,412 --> 00:44:53,884
Thanks.
772
00:45:00,921 --> 00:45:03,472
I'm gonna need your help
with Ryan in the morning.
773
00:45:03,590 --> 00:45:07,019
- How do you mean?
- His new friend isn't coming with us.
774
00:45:07,136 --> 00:45:10,019
- The adorable little ginger girl?
- I'm sure he'll throw a hissy fit.
775
00:45:10,139 --> 00:45:12,191
How are we gonna sneak out without her?
776
00:45:12,307 --> 00:45:16,614
I put enough horse tranquilizer in that
brownie to kept her asleep through August.
777
00:45:16,728 --> 00:45:19,149
I'm surprised she's even still on her feet!
778
00:45:19,273 --> 00:45:22,156
I'm sure she'll be going down
for the count soon.
779
00:45:23,569 --> 00:45:26,203
Hey, don't go soft on me now, boy!
780
00:45:26,321 --> 00:45:30,497
She works for the news. We don't want her
doing some story on the water supply.
781
00:45:30,617 --> 00:45:31,791
Uh-uh.
782
00:45:31,910 --> 00:45:36,419
Sometimes... you gotta put
your own oxygen mask on first.
783
00:45:38,250 --> 00:45:40,255
Put my oxygen mask on first.
784
00:45:40,377 --> 00:45:41,848
- Right, first.
- Ow!
785
00:45:41,962 --> 00:45:43,599
All right.
786
00:45:44,673 --> 00:45:46,595
- Uh, Chaz...
- Yeah, Pop.
787
00:45:46,717 --> 00:45:48,270
Stop trying to bang Stacy.
788
00:45:48,385 --> 00:45:52,016
- Once was enough.
- If only it was!
789
00:45:52,139 --> 00:45:55,485
Oh! Don't you tell me
you're falling in love with her?
790
00:45:55,601 --> 00:45:58,566
Ryan's back. Be realistic.
791
00:45:58,687 --> 00:46:03,362
What? Is it totally unrealistic to think
that I could be the special one for once?
792
00:46:03,484 --> 00:46:06,995
I mean, what's he got that I don't got?
Besides your great eyes.
793
00:46:07,112 --> 00:46:09,164
- We gotta stay focused, boy.
- A-ha.
794
00:46:09,281 --> 00:46:10,704
- You hear me? Stay focused.
- Okay!
795
00:46:10,824 --> 00:46:13,125
We got to keep our shit straight
if we're gonna make it through this thing.
796
00:46:13,243 --> 00:46:15,165
- Yeah, keep our shit straight.
- Keep it straight.
797
00:46:15,287 --> 00:46:17,506
Keep it straight. Thanks, Pop!
798
00:46:17,623 --> 00:46:19,295
- Thanks for the rap.
- Okay.
799
00:46:20,793 --> 00:46:21,801
Okay.
800
00:46:21,919 --> 00:46:25,181
Okay! All right, you'd better
get back to your post.
801
00:46:25,297 --> 00:46:26,424
Okay.
802
00:46:42,689 --> 00:46:46,402
"Portland's water runs through him."
Oh! Gross!
803
00:46:50,906 --> 00:46:53,374
I think you can forgo your sit-ups tonight.
804
00:46:56,036 --> 00:46:58,088
I'll give you a workout.
805
00:46:58,205 --> 00:46:59,498
Wow!
806
00:46:59,623 --> 00:47:01,379
Uh, Stacy...
807
00:47:01,500 --> 00:47:03,837
I'm talking about sex.
808
00:47:03,961 --> 00:47:06,096
No, I know. Um...
809
00:47:06,213 --> 00:47:08,894
I'm going to sleep here on floor, all right?
You take the bed.
810
00:47:09,007 --> 00:47:13,267
- A lot's happened since you broke up with me.
- Are you gonna keep throwing that in my face?
811
00:47:13,387 --> 00:47:18,191
No. Hey, look, we need to talk, all right?
I think you were right to dump me.
812
00:47:18,308 --> 00:47:20,398
Ryan, you need to stop being a martyr, okay?
813
00:47:20,519 --> 00:47:23,900
This is a sure thing. Just relax.
814
00:47:24,022 --> 00:47:26,277
No, wait! I... I... I'm...
815
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:28,736
I'm saying we want different things.
816
00:47:28,861 --> 00:47:31,909
Oh, really? And what do you want? That nerd?
817
00:47:32,030 --> 00:47:35,044
- Could you keep your voice down?
- Well, what does she do for you, Ryan?
818
00:47:35,159 --> 00:47:39,335
She ride you like this? Like...
Oh, yeah! Oh, Ryan, you're the best!
819
00:47:39,455 --> 00:47:42,503
Oh, yes! Oh, Ryan! Oh, yes!
820
00:47:42,624 --> 00:47:46,136
- Cut it out!
- Oh, yeah, Ryan! Oh! Oh, yeah!
821
00:47:46,253 --> 00:47:47,807
Oh, yeah!
822
00:47:47,921 --> 00:47:50,851
Oh, yes! Oh, Ryan!
823
00:47:50,966 --> 00:47:53,552
- Oh, yes, you're the best!
- Cut it out, please!
824
00:47:53,677 --> 00:47:55,848
Oh... Oh, yeah!
825
00:47:55,971 --> 00:47:58,023
Oh, Ryan! Oh, yeah!
826
00:47:58,140 --> 00:48:01,237
- Yeah, Ryan! I shop at Target!
- Cut it out. Ssh!
827
00:48:01,351 --> 00:48:04,780
Oh, yeah, Ryan! Oh, my gosh!
828
00:48:04,897 --> 00:48:07,993
Oh, yes! Oh, Ryan! Oh, yes!
829
00:48:08,108 --> 00:48:12,284
- Cut it out, please!
- Oh, yeah, Ryan! Oh, my God! Oh, yeah!
830
00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:18,455
- Oh, Ryan! Oh, yes!
- Cut it out!
831
00:48:18,577 --> 00:48:20,463
- Stacy, stop!
- Oh, yeah!
832
00:48:20,579 --> 00:48:22,916
- Stacy, stop! Stop!
- Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
833
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,674
- Stop! Hey!
- Oh, yeah!
834
00:48:25,793 --> 00:48:28,378
Oh, yeah! Oh, Ryan!
835
00:48:28,504 --> 00:48:31,850
Stacy, you're acting insane!
836
00:48:33,842 --> 00:48:38,354
What the... If that cooz
let out my cats, so help me!
837
00:48:57,991 --> 00:48:59,628
Trixie?
838
00:48:59,743 --> 00:49:01,250
Mayberry?
839
00:49:01,370 --> 00:49:02,997
Trixie?
840
00:49:05,801 --> 00:49:08,430
Oh! Chaz!
841
00:49:09,545 --> 00:49:12,178
Ryan! The bastards have surrounded the house.
842
00:49:12,297 --> 00:49:14,018
Time to put on your big-boy pants, son.
843
00:49:14,133 --> 00:49:17,729
Dad, you don't have to talk to me
like I'm some kind of kid.
844
00:49:19,638 --> 00:49:22,770
Aim high, and I'm not talking
about life goals.
845
00:49:22,891 --> 00:49:24,979
Shoot 'em in the head. Let's move!
846
00:49:25,102 --> 00:49:28,530
Stacy, how could you do that to me?
847
00:49:30,232 --> 00:49:33,863
- Didn't last night mean anything to you?
- Well, of course it did.
848
00:49:33,986 --> 00:49:35,872
I think.
849
00:49:37,781 --> 00:49:41,412
But, you know, Ryan's just so
good-looking, you know? It's...
850
00:49:44,121 --> 00:49:46,885
That one's coming fast, Chaz. Chaz?
851
00:49:46,999 --> 00:49:48,920
Chaz, that one's coming pretty fast.
852
00:49:51,545 --> 00:49:54,309
Help! God, help me!
853
00:49:54,423 --> 00:49:56,891
Please, God! Don't let me die!
854
00:50:00,304 --> 00:50:02,494
Commie bastard!
855
00:50:06,268 --> 00:50:08,071
Attaboy! Good job!
856
00:50:08,187 --> 00:50:10,907
Chaz! Look out behind...
857
00:50:14,610 --> 00:50:16,366
- He's been bit.
- Oh, no, Chaz!
858
00:50:16,487 --> 00:50:19,950
He's been bit. Get him on the couch!
I'll take care of the door.
859
00:50:32,722 --> 00:50:34,442
Chew-a-dent!
860
00:50:35,506 --> 00:50:38,827
Oh! Oh, God! Ruby!
861
00:50:40,636 --> 00:50:43,850
Honey, I am so sorry.
862
00:50:45,390 --> 00:50:49,068
I completely forgot you were in there.
What the...
863
00:50:50,437 --> 00:50:54,115
I must be the most
selfish person in the world.
864
00:50:55,150 --> 00:51:00,405
Here I am, acting like I'm doing you
some kind of favour by keeping you alive.
865
00:51:00,531 --> 00:51:04,244
Deluding myself that there might
actually be a cure for this.
866
00:51:04,368 --> 00:51:06,871
But really I just...
867
00:51:07,955 --> 00:51:10,896
I can't bring myself to end it for you.
868
00:51:14,795 --> 00:51:17,974
I never would have talked
to Ryan without you.
869
00:51:18,090 --> 00:51:21,352
And though I deeply regret
870
00:51:21,468 --> 00:51:23,769
meeting that...
871
00:51:23,887 --> 00:51:26,307
elitist man-whore,
872
00:51:26,431 --> 00:51:29,112
for one night, damn it,
873
00:51:29,226 --> 00:51:30,982
I lived, Ruby.
874
00:51:31,103 --> 00:51:32,693
I lived.
875
00:51:39,194 --> 00:51:41,246
What the ding-dong?
876
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:51,003
Hi! Would you shut it off, please?
877
00:51:51,123 --> 00:51:53,757
- Shut it down. Thank you.
- Hi.
878
00:51:53,876 --> 00:51:56,929
- Good morning.
- Good morning!
879
00:51:57,504 --> 00:52:01,727
So I... I guess you guys have heard
about the zombies in town?
880
00:52:01,842 --> 00:52:04,939
Zombies? Zombies!
Guys, she said there's zombies!
881
00:52:05,053 --> 00:52:07,818
Yeah, we heard about the zombies.
That's why we're here.
882
00:52:07,931 --> 00:52:11,775
So if you wouldn't mind taking the keys out
and coming inside that tent,
883
00:52:11,894 --> 00:52:14,658
we've got a little bit of coffee
and a whole lot of questions for you.
884
00:52:14,771 --> 00:52:17,073
If we're going to be honest here,
885
00:52:17,191 --> 00:52:21,805
I was really looking forward to putting
some distance between me and this town.
886
00:52:21,924 --> 00:52:23,539
I get it! I get it!
887
00:52:23,655 --> 00:52:27,416
You're like, "Who's this powerful
muckity-muck trying to cramp my style,
888
00:52:27,534 --> 00:52:30,464
when all I wanna do is try on
some lipstick and chase guys,
889
00:52:30,579 --> 00:52:34,257
and get as far as I can from those
gosh-darn flesh-eaters?" Am I right?
890
00:52:34,374 --> 00:52:36,676
If I say yes, will you let me go?
891
00:52:36,794 --> 00:52:38,846
Let me put it this way...
892
00:52:47,231 --> 00:52:49,532
That's a no.
893
00:52:57,648 --> 00:53:02,453
Hey, I've got some John Cougar Mellencamp.
That always used to cheer you up.
894
00:53:02,569 --> 00:53:07,078
It's just John Mellencamp now, Dad. I haven't
listened to him on purpose in 20 years.
895
00:53:08,325 --> 00:53:10,793
Son, I liked Stacy.
896
00:53:12,204 --> 00:53:16,297
Although I'm not sure she was the girl your
mother would have wanted you to marry,
897
00:53:16,416 --> 00:53:18,885
I am sorry that she got her brains eaten.
898
00:53:19,962 --> 00:53:21,967
- Don't do this, Dad.
- Do what?
899
00:53:22,089 --> 00:53:25,054
- I'm just being real here.
- I'm not ready to be cool with you.
900
00:53:25,175 --> 00:53:29,565
Oh, good, good.
What, you think I wanted any of this, huh?
901
00:53:30,639 --> 00:53:33,024
Look at Chaz back there.
902
00:53:33,142 --> 00:53:36,855
When he turns, who do you think's
gonna have to put him down?
903
00:53:38,897 --> 00:53:42,409
For all of his faults, I loved that boy
like he was my own son.
904
00:53:43,735 --> 00:53:45,456
What do you mean?
905
00:53:45,571 --> 00:53:48,785
Well, Chaz was adopted. You knew that, right?
906
00:53:48,907 --> 00:53:52,004
- Son-of-a-bitch. He was adopted?
- Bottom line is...
907
00:53:52,119 --> 00:53:53,709
you and I have to stay positive,
908
00:53:53,829 --> 00:53:56,166
remember how fortunate we are to be
in the Governor's good graces.
909
00:53:56,290 --> 00:53:57,843
- Fortunate?
- Yes.
910
00:53:57,958 --> 00:54:01,671
If you weren't so deep in the Governor's
good graces, we wouldn't be in this mess.
911
00:54:01,795 --> 00:54:03,468
Well, we're almost out of it, okay.
912
00:54:06,758 --> 00:54:08,479
Ow! Gaa!
913
00:54:09,761 --> 00:54:14,317
- Buy a girl a drink first, will you?
- I'm sorry about that business there.
914
00:54:14,433 --> 00:54:16,520
- Sincerely!
- I'm not infected.
915
00:54:16,643 --> 00:54:19,776
- I wasn't bitten.
- I know, Deb, I know.
916
00:54:19,897 --> 00:54:22,281
We just have protocols we have to follow.
917
00:54:22,399 --> 00:54:24,867
You guys aren't real military, are you?
918
00:54:24,985 --> 00:54:26,658
What is "real"?
919
00:54:26,778 --> 00:54:30,622
Is "real" like a construct
of our own subconscious or...
920
00:54:30,741 --> 00:54:32,663
Is this real?
921
00:54:32,785 --> 00:54:34,540
Is this real?
922
00:54:34,661 --> 00:54:36,334
- Are any of us real?
- Yeah.
923
00:54:36,455 --> 00:54:38,294
The rest of us are real.
924
00:54:38,415 --> 00:54:41,001
All right, we're a private security firm
hired to handle this situation.
925
00:54:41,126 --> 00:54:43,760
Whoa! You guys are doing a bang-up job!
926
00:54:43,879 --> 00:54:45,884
- Thank you.
- I'm being sarcastic.
927
00:54:46,006 --> 00:54:48,225
- What are you gonna do now, kill me?
- Kill you? Deb...
928
00:54:48,342 --> 00:54:50,678
That hurts me. Come on!
929
00:54:50,803 --> 00:54:54,266
I am a father, all right?
Look, look at these.
930
00:54:54,389 --> 00:54:56,441
Look at these little... Two little boys.
931
00:54:56,558 --> 00:54:59,987
- Those are my kids. They are adorable, right?
- Yeah.
932
00:55:00,103 --> 00:55:04,445
Could I go back and look at these little
angels in their eyes with murder on my brain?
933
00:55:04,566 --> 00:55:06,785
I don't think so, Deb.
934
00:55:06,902 --> 00:55:10,995
No, your test was negative.
You are free to go.
935
00:55:11,114 --> 00:55:12,242
Oh!
936
00:55:12,366 --> 00:55:14,371
Awesome sauce!
937
00:55:14,493 --> 00:55:16,545
Okay, great! Um...
938
00:55:16,662 --> 00:55:21,004
Oh, if you could just, uh, get rid
of that road block, I'll be... on my way.
939
00:55:21,125 --> 00:55:23,094
Uh... sorry.
940
00:55:23,210 --> 00:55:26,175
I might have been a little confusing there.
You're free to go back.
941
00:55:26,296 --> 00:55:29,891
- Wait, I'm sorry, back?
- Yeah, back to where you came from.
942
00:55:30,008 --> 00:55:32,726
You can't ever leave that town on,
kind of, a forever-type basis.
943
00:55:32,845 --> 00:55:34,517
Forever?
944
00:55:34,638 --> 00:55:38,185
So you're just gonna... you're gonna
wall us in with those things?
945
00:55:38,308 --> 00:55:40,396
That's a fate worse than death.
946
00:55:40,519 --> 00:55:42,939
You're gonna tell that to your two lamo kids?
947
00:55:43,063 --> 00:55:45,115
They're four and six, Deb.
948
00:55:45,232 --> 00:55:48,080
They wouldn't understand
the moral complexity of that situation.
949
00:55:48,193 --> 00:55:51,787
Portland may be a small town, but people
are going to notice if we disappear.
950
00:55:51,905 --> 00:55:54,124
The official story is radiation leak.
951
00:55:54,241 --> 00:55:56,709
I don't think people are going
to be champing at the bit
952
00:55:56,827 --> 00:55:59,164
to go check it out for themselves,
believe you me.
953
00:55:59,288 --> 00:56:02,385
You're not going to get away with this.
They're...
954
00:56:02,499 --> 00:56:06,924
People... people are going to talk.
There's social media, there's like...
955
00:56:07,045 --> 00:56:08,885
Twerking, My Face.
956
00:56:09,006 --> 00:56:13,146
I don't think you've noticed, but
the internet's shut down and cellphones.
957
00:56:13,260 --> 00:56:16,772
Deb, you would have had a better chance
of getting out of here if you were infected.
958
00:56:16,889 --> 00:56:19,107
They're looking for case studies
out there right now,
959
00:56:19,224 --> 00:56:21,609
trying to figure out how to stop this thing.
960
00:56:21,727 --> 00:56:22,901
Wait.
961
00:56:23,020 --> 00:56:26,448
Wait! I know Frank Waverly.
The Governor is sending him a helicopter.
962
00:56:26,565 --> 00:56:29,614
- And I'm supposed to be on it.
- You know Frank Waverly?
963
00:56:29,735 --> 00:56:31,288
Yeah.
964
00:56:31,403 --> 00:56:33,373
Yeah! I do.
965
00:56:35,616 --> 00:56:38,416
The rendezvous point's right up ahead here.
966
00:56:38,535 --> 00:56:41,383
Throw a blanket over your brother,
we don't want to scare anybody.
967
00:56:46,251 --> 00:56:49,051
- Oh, God! He looks terrible.
- Oh, jeez!
968
00:56:49,171 --> 00:56:50,215
God!
969
00:56:55,886 --> 00:56:59,766
Whoa! Deb's car. She's here.
I hope she's okay.
970
00:56:59,890 --> 00:57:03,188
Was that girl ever okay?
Now let me do the talking.
971
00:57:03,310 --> 00:57:06,407
Some say shooting a gun's like an organism.
972
00:57:06,522 --> 00:57:08,823
That must be why it's harder
for women to shoot g...
973
00:57:08,941 --> 00:57:10,862
- What the hell is going on here?
- Oh!
974
00:57:10,984 --> 00:57:14,697
- Well, if it isn't Don Juan Demarco.
- No, no, that wasn't what it sounded like.
975
00:57:14,822 --> 00:57:19,163
- Prop a squat here, One Direction.
- I have very classic masculine features, sir.
976
00:57:20,452 --> 00:57:23,335
- Why is she restrained?
- Oh, you must be Frank Waverly.
977
00:57:23,455 --> 00:57:25,543
And you must be fond of digging ditches,
978
00:57:25,666 --> 00:57:27,967
cos that's what you're gonna be doing
if I don't get some goddamn answers!
979
00:57:28,085 --> 00:57:30,719
- You know, the Governor...
- Is sending a helicopter, yeah?
980
00:57:30,838 --> 00:57:33,008
- I know.
- Hello, Frank.
981
00:57:33,132 --> 00:57:35,600
I thought I owed it to you
to do this face to face.
982
00:57:35,717 --> 00:57:37,972
- You're not going anywhere.
- Governor.
983
00:57:39,471 --> 00:57:41,607
- Why?
- We screwed the pooch, Frank.
984
00:57:41,723 --> 00:57:45,069
Well, you did. At least, that's how
history is going to show it.
985
00:57:45,185 --> 00:57:49,907
I have volumes of documentation.
This whole thing was on your demand.
986
00:57:50,023 --> 00:57:52,325
My people are at your home
and your office right now.
987
00:57:52,442 --> 00:57:55,028
I don't think documentation is going
to be much of a problem.
988
00:57:55,154 --> 00:57:57,918
Why, self-serving son-of-a...
989
00:58:04,705 --> 00:58:06,674
Let the young ones go.
990
00:58:06,790 --> 00:58:08,760
They had no part in this.
991
00:58:08,876 --> 00:58:10,845
I wish I could, Frank.
992
00:58:10,961 --> 00:58:14,758
Colonel Newton, I think you saw
these three try to rush the border.
993
00:58:14,882 --> 00:58:18,061
I think you had to use some
extreme measures to stop them.
994
00:58:18,177 --> 00:58:19,979
And I think you succeeded.
995
00:58:20,095 --> 00:58:21,898
Sir.
996
00:58:22,014 --> 00:58:23,935
Goodbye, Frank.
997
00:58:25,017 --> 00:58:25,942
Wait!
998
00:58:26,059 --> 00:58:30,200
My dad has more than enough motivation
to keep quiet and I'm his son.
999
00:58:30,314 --> 00:58:31,951
- So?
- So...
1000
00:58:32,065 --> 00:58:34,651
the only wild card here is her.
She's a reporter.
1001
00:58:34,776 --> 00:58:36,449
What? I'm not a reporter!
1002
00:58:36,570 --> 00:58:39,038
I mean, I would like to be a reporter.
I'm trying to be a reporter.
1003
00:58:39,156 --> 00:58:40,627
She films everything.
1004
00:58:40,741 --> 00:58:44,703
She's documented this whole disaster
with this tiny little hidden camera.
1005
00:58:44,828 --> 00:58:46,999
Somebody's gonna find that footage one day.
1006
00:58:47,122 --> 00:58:49,210
Wouldn't you like to get
your hands on it right now?
1007
00:58:49,333 --> 00:58:52,014
I patted her down myself.
I did not find a camera.
1008
00:58:52,127 --> 00:58:55,224
Deb, just give it up.
They're going to search Otis eventually.
1009
00:58:55,339 --> 00:58:57,723
Otis? That's her car.
1010
00:58:57,841 --> 00:59:00,974
The footage is in her car.
Let's go! You, with me.
1011
00:59:02,137 --> 00:59:03,525
The car!
1012
00:59:04,848 --> 00:59:07,897
I got the glove box.
Dekker, you pop the hood.
1013
00:59:08,018 --> 00:59:11,482
- Try the trunk.
- What? No! Not the trunk!
1014
00:59:12,856 --> 00:59:13,983
Pop it.
1015
00:59:14,107 --> 00:59:16,872
Governor, sir. Mr Governor...
1016
00:59:17,945 --> 00:59:19,286
What the... Damn thing...
1017
00:59:24,576 --> 00:59:26,831
What? Holy... Oh, man!
1018
00:59:26,954 --> 00:59:29,374
Get that... get that... get that...
1019
00:59:31,667 --> 00:59:34,965
Hey, man, that was an accident.
1020
00:59:35,087 --> 00:59:37,471
That was a mistake, man.
Don't do it. Put your gun down.
1021
00:59:37,589 --> 00:59:40,638
I didn't mean to shoot him.
Come on, we know each other!
1022
00:59:40,759 --> 00:59:43,393
That was just a...
1023
00:59:43,512 --> 00:59:46,062
- Oh, this is all my fault.
- Ugh!
1024
00:59:46,181 --> 00:59:49,610
It's customary to say something like,
"No, no, no, don't beat yourself up."
1025
00:59:49,726 --> 00:59:51,648
- Words to that effect.
- Don't beat yourself...
1026
00:59:51,770 --> 00:59:54,155
Never mind. It really is my fault.
1027
00:59:54,273 --> 00:59:56,693
But I'm going to make it right
for the two of you.
1028
00:59:56,817 --> 00:59:59,202
- What are you talking about?
- Frank?
1029
01:00:05,148 --> 01:00:06,987
Come on!
1030
01:00:10,747 --> 01:00:12,503
Ruby, no!
1031
01:00:12,624 --> 01:00:13,668
Huh?
1032
01:00:14,751 --> 01:00:16,721
Go, go! Let's go.
1033
01:00:17,671 --> 01:00:18,723
Dad!
1034
01:00:18,839 --> 01:00:23,311
Ryan. Ryan, I should have been there
more for you when you were growing up.
1035
01:00:23,427 --> 01:00:25,266
I could have helped you
be a little more rugged.
1036
01:00:25,387 --> 01:00:27,439
Why are you talking like that?
You're coming with us.
1037
01:00:27,556 --> 01:00:29,526
No! Like this?
1038
01:00:29,641 --> 01:00:31,148
I'm gone, son.
1039
01:00:31,268 --> 01:00:34,483
Bit by a zombie in a God-awful sweater.
1040
01:00:34,605 --> 01:00:37,903
Now listen up. You stay
with that girl Deb, all right?
1041
01:00:38,025 --> 01:00:40,955
She's good for you. She's got moxie.
1042
01:00:41,069 --> 01:00:43,787
Head back into Portland and
stay alive till this blows over.
1043
01:00:43,906 --> 01:00:46,326
I'm gonna buy you some time.
You go take care of her.
1044
01:00:46,450 --> 01:00:48,420
Go on! Go!
1045
01:00:48,535 --> 01:00:49,709
Go!
1046
01:00:55,751 --> 01:00:59,049
All right, come on!
End it for me, you piss-ants!
1047
01:01:07,930 --> 01:01:09,808
My dad...
1048
01:01:09,932 --> 01:01:12,103
Chaz, Stacy.
1049
01:01:13,685 --> 01:01:15,655
I can't believe they're all gone.
1050
01:01:16,897 --> 01:01:21,737
Nobody left to tell me
what to think or what to say.
1051
01:01:23,195 --> 01:01:25,247
It's kinda scary, actually.
1052
01:01:30,619 --> 01:01:35,340
That time my family was up on the roof,
that Fourth of July, and saw my dad.
1053
01:01:35,457 --> 01:01:36,584
Yeah?
1054
01:01:37,835 --> 01:01:40,552
He wasn't fixing the barbecue.
1055
01:01:40,671 --> 01:01:43,969
He was in my neighbour's backyard...
1056
01:01:45,467 --> 01:01:47,472
with no pants.
1057
01:01:48,971 --> 01:01:52,233
He was exposing himself to their family dog.
1058
01:01:54,351 --> 01:01:55,858
Whoa!
1059
01:01:55,978 --> 01:01:58,314
Apparently, he'd been doing it for months.
1060
01:02:00,232 --> 01:02:01,822
Basset hound.
1061
01:02:04,236 --> 01:02:06,407
He moved out after that.
1062
01:02:08,824 --> 01:02:11,244
I've never told that story to anyone.
1063
01:02:15,289 --> 01:02:17,875
We've never going to get out of here, are we?
1064
01:02:18,959 --> 01:02:21,094
Does not look like it.
1065
01:02:21,211 --> 01:02:23,299
All the roads will be blocked
just like that one.
1066
01:02:23,422 --> 01:02:25,557
- They'll be looking for us especially.
- Hmm.
1067
01:02:25,674 --> 01:02:28,771
On the bright side, no more lines at the DMV.
1068
01:02:29,928 --> 01:02:30,937
Yeah.
1069
01:02:31,054 --> 01:02:34,518
I bet some of those workers
will be more lively as zombies.
1070
01:02:34,641 --> 01:02:37,322
Mmmm! Rrrgh!
1071
01:02:37,436 --> 01:02:39,773
Organ donor!
1072
01:02:39,897 --> 01:02:41,534
Delicious!
1073
01:02:41,648 --> 01:02:45,112
- What was that? Is that...
- My zombie.
1074
01:02:45,235 --> 01:02:48,035
- I didn't know zombies sounded like that.
- Yeah. You've heard them, right?
1075
01:02:48,155 --> 01:02:50,647
No, I haven't heard them talk.
1076
01:02:52,242 --> 01:02:54,045
Oh, my God!
1077
01:02:56,330 --> 01:02:58,750
Only you could make me laugh
at a time like this.
1078
01:03:00,417 --> 01:03:04,214
That's mostly what I remember
about the night that we hung out.
1079
01:03:04,338 --> 01:03:06,509
Was you just cracking me up.
1080
01:03:10,844 --> 01:03:12,434
No one thinks I'm funny.
1081
01:03:12,554 --> 01:03:15,188
They just think I'm strange or...
1082
01:03:15,307 --> 01:03:17,941
awkward or...
1083
01:03:18,060 --> 01:03:20,279
I say the wrong thing.
1084
01:03:22,064 --> 01:03:25,445
I'm so dumb to think
that I could be an on-air anchor.
1085
01:03:25,567 --> 01:03:27,703
I think you'd make a great news anchor.
1086
01:03:27,820 --> 01:03:32,161
Plus I've always wanted to slap the tan
right off of Brent Masters' face.
1087
01:03:43,460 --> 01:03:45,548
Oh, my God, Ryan!
1088
01:03:45,671 --> 01:03:48,684
Ryan, we have to go, now.
1089
01:03:51,260 --> 01:03:53,596
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where's the fire?
1090
01:03:53,720 --> 01:03:56,022
You mentioning Brent Masters back there.
1091
01:03:56,140 --> 01:03:58,061
If the outside world could see
what was actually going on here,
1092
01:03:58,183 --> 01:03:59,856
the government would have to do something.
1093
01:03:59,977 --> 01:04:01,982
The people would demand it.
We'd have a chance.
1094
01:04:02,104 --> 01:04:04,607
Yeah, but how? All communications
have been shut down.
1095
01:04:04,731 --> 01:04:07,068
Phone, cable, internet, cell towers.
1096
01:04:07,192 --> 01:04:08,485
Not satellite.
1097
01:04:18,745 --> 01:04:21,214
Get the lead out.
1098
01:04:21,331 --> 01:04:23,882
Our signal goes out to most
of the outlying counties,
1099
01:04:24,001 --> 01:04:25,887
sometimes as far as Canada.
1100
01:04:26,003 --> 01:04:28,138
- Where is everyone though?
- I don't know.
1101
01:04:28,255 --> 01:04:31,470
It would be a skeleton crew
because of the holiday, but...
1102
01:04:34,261 --> 01:04:37,109
The morning staff briefing.
1103
01:04:37,222 --> 01:04:39,144
Livelier than usual.
1104
01:04:39,266 --> 01:04:43,062
Hey, that's Misty Raines.
Ah, they're still smiling.
1105
01:04:43,187 --> 01:04:47,030
She's got so much Botox in her face I don't
know if she's ever going to decompose.
1106
01:04:47,149 --> 01:04:49,284
And that's Jerry Chavez, sports.
1107
01:04:49,401 --> 01:04:52,664
Oh, and he brought his wife's
famous cupcakes.
1108
01:04:53,780 --> 01:04:55,786
Oh! Brent Masters.
1109
01:04:55,908 --> 01:04:58,755
Even as a zombie, his hair is camera perfect!
1110
01:04:58,869 --> 01:05:01,289
- Oh, is he coming?
- Uh-huh.
1111
01:05:01,413 --> 01:05:04,877
He was always mean to me,
but I'm going to do him proud.
1112
01:05:07,409 --> 01:05:09,709
Okay, let's... let's go.
1113
01:05:12,758 --> 01:05:15,975
Control room's in here. Oh?
1114
01:05:23,685 --> 01:05:26,533
We have to turn the signal back on.
1115
01:05:26,647 --> 01:05:30,657
- Wow, you really know what you're doing.
- Yeah, I have my moments.
1116
01:05:30,776 --> 01:05:33,789
- Despite my track record.
- Yeah, what does this do?
1117
01:05:33,904 --> 01:05:36,202
Okay, don't touch that.
1118
01:05:48,043 --> 01:05:52,515
And that's it! You just lock the camera off
on the anchor desk.
1119
01:05:52,631 --> 01:05:54,434
On you, right?
1120
01:05:54,550 --> 01:05:56,270
Ah, yeah.
1121
01:05:56,385 --> 01:05:58,057
Yeah, I guess.
1122
01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:02,064
- What's wrong?
- Uh...
1123
01:06:02,182 --> 01:06:03,570
I'm just, uh...
1124
01:06:04,810 --> 01:06:07,313
so used to working the camera.
1125
01:06:07,437 --> 01:06:10,321
Maybe I should do that and
you can do the announcement.
1126
01:06:10,440 --> 01:06:11,651
- Deb.
- What?
1127
01:06:11,775 --> 01:06:16,913
Listen to me. Not only is this an insanely
perfect opportunity for you to live your dream,
1128
01:06:17,030 --> 01:06:20,293
but people need to know
what's happening here.
1129
01:06:20,409 --> 01:06:24,086
What about you, Ryan Waverly?
Are you living your dream?
1130
01:06:24,204 --> 01:06:27,917
I want to be a personal life coach. So, yes.
1131
01:06:29,460 --> 01:06:31,381
Well played, sir.
1132
01:06:33,964 --> 01:06:35,175
Okay!
1133
01:06:37,342 --> 01:06:39,145
You know, I'm going to clean up.
1134
01:06:39,261 --> 01:06:42,061
I can't make my broadcast debut
with a scrunchie in my hair.
1135
01:06:42,181 --> 01:06:44,814
- Okay. I'll be here. Hurry.
- Okay.
1136
01:06:59,364 --> 01:07:01,167
Deb, are you all...
1137
01:07:02,534 --> 01:07:03,745
right?
1138
01:07:06,955 --> 01:07:09,838
What do you think? Is this okay for camera?
1139
01:07:11,001 --> 01:07:13,220
It's... uh...
1140
01:07:13,337 --> 01:07:15,223
You're perfect.
1141
01:07:16,882 --> 01:07:19,350
I raided the weather girl's locker.
1142
01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:26,479
Are you ready?
1143
01:07:30,187 --> 01:07:31,907
- Yeah.
- Okay.
1144
01:07:32,022 --> 01:07:35,865
This is how I always see them do it.
In five, four...
1145
01:07:35,984 --> 01:07:37,538
Three...
1146
01:07:39,863 --> 01:07:42,746
Good afternoon. I'm Deb Clarington.
1147
01:07:42,866 --> 01:07:45,370
It was an Independence Day for the ages,
1148
01:07:45,494 --> 01:07:48,377
as a bizarre disease ran rampant
through this normally peaceful
1149
01:07:48,497 --> 01:07:50,584
seaside community yesterday.
1150
01:07:50,707 --> 01:07:54,385
Homes were destroyed,
countless family members lost
1151
01:07:54,503 --> 01:07:56,923
and thousands left to wander,
1152
01:07:57,047 --> 01:08:01,009
in search of the only thing that would
quench their now insatiable appetites...
1153
01:08:01,135 --> 01:08:04,041
live human flesh.
1154
01:08:06,849 --> 01:08:09,613
Unbelievable? Maybe.
1155
01:08:09,726 --> 01:08:13,819
It certainly would be easier to swallow
the cover-up story about a radiation leak.
1156
01:08:13,939 --> 01:08:19,538
Indeed, for all we know, there are only two
souls left uninfected in this once-happy hamlet.
1157
01:08:19,653 --> 01:08:25,252
Is it worth sending people in to save a fledgling
newscaster and her cameraman life coach?
1158
01:08:25,367 --> 01:08:28,582
Two days ago, I might have said no.
1159
01:08:29,830 --> 01:08:32,250
But then another story broke.
1160
01:08:32,374 --> 01:08:34,794
This one easier to believe for most,
1161
01:08:34,918 --> 01:08:38,798
but for this reporter,
it's the headline of the decade...
1162
01:08:38,922 --> 01:08:41,473
woman falls in love.
1163
01:08:42,968 --> 01:08:47,725
Sure it happens every day,
all over the world, but not to me.
1164
01:08:47,848 --> 01:08:51,146
Maybe a crisis like we have here
speeds things up a bit, but...
1165
01:08:51,268 --> 01:08:54,696
I don't think it can create
something from nothing.
1166
01:08:54,813 --> 01:08:59,986
And even though this person
may not return my affections...
1167
01:09:00,110 --> 01:09:03,124
and... I am really not fishing here...
1168
01:09:03,238 --> 01:09:05,493
it's okay.
1169
01:09:05,616 --> 01:09:10,622
I'll always know, deep down,
that he felt something too.
1170
01:09:10,746 --> 01:09:14,258
So I'm Deb Clarington, saying yes,
1171
01:09:14,374 --> 01:09:16,545
I think these two are worth saving.
1172
01:09:16,668 --> 01:09:21,058
So if you're watching out there, please tell the
authorities to send help to Portland, Maine...
1173
01:09:23,060 --> 01:09:26,245
No! No!
1174
01:09:28,096 --> 01:09:31,524
Deb. Deb, I'm here. Hey!
1175
01:09:31,642 --> 01:09:35,485
Listen to me, that's the greatest newscast
anyone's ever seen.
1176
01:09:35,604 --> 01:09:38,783
Seriously, you'll probably win
a Peabody or something.
1177
01:09:38,899 --> 01:09:40,619
Am I...
1178
01:09:41,693 --> 01:09:43,496
better than Brent Masters?
1179
01:09:43,612 --> 01:09:45,451
Crazy better.
1180
01:09:46,824 --> 01:09:49,583
Wait, crazy, like I was,
like, a crazy person?
1181
01:09:52,788 --> 01:09:55,125
Can we get, like, two seconds!
1182
01:10:01,797 --> 01:10:04,134
I don't know how long I have left.
1183
01:10:04,258 --> 01:10:07,199
Yeah, I guess we've never seen
anyone turn before.
1184
01:10:13,684 --> 01:10:15,653
- Listen, Deb.
- Yes.
1185
01:10:15,769 --> 01:10:18,403
If you want me to, I could, um...
1186
01:10:19,648 --> 01:10:21,784
I mean, if you want.
1187
01:10:21,900 --> 01:10:24,202
You would shoot me in the head?
1188
01:10:25,279 --> 01:10:28,043
Well, I... What? I thought...
1189
01:10:28,157 --> 01:10:30,458
I guess it would be one tap now?
1190
01:10:30,576 --> 01:10:32,332
It was your idea first!
1191
01:10:32,453 --> 01:10:37,166
Tonight's top story, a bizarre twist regarding
a reported radiation leak in Portland, Maine.
1192
01:10:37,291 --> 01:10:41,087
A broadcast, apparently originating
from within the quarantine zone,
1193
01:10:41,211 --> 01:10:43,715
went viral on the internet just hours ago,
1194
01:10:43,839 --> 01:10:47,351
promoting a lot of people to wonder
what exactly is going on there?
1195
01:10:47,468 --> 01:10:52,687
I'm Deb Clarington saying yes,
I think these two are worth saving.
1196
01:10:52,806 --> 01:10:56,999
So if you're watching out there, please tell the
authorities to send help to Portland, Maine...
1197
01:10:58,645 --> 01:11:00,401
No! No!
1198
01:11:00,522 --> 01:11:04,947
911 emergency centres in several
states report being flooded with calls
1199
01:11:05,068 --> 01:11:07,156
in response to the alleged zombie attack,
1200
01:11:07,279 --> 01:11:09,580
with some calling to ask if the video's real,
1201
01:11:09,698 --> 01:11:13,127
while many others are concerned
for the safety of these two people.
1202
01:11:13,243 --> 01:11:17,585
A background check on Deb Clarington
revealed that she is employed at the station
1203
01:11:17,706 --> 01:11:21,763
from which she's broadcasting,
but as a camera-person, not an anchor.
1204
01:11:21,877 --> 01:11:24,890
Prior to that, she was employed
at a Lady Footlocker,
1205
01:11:25,005 --> 01:11:27,176
until she was let go for staging
1206
01:11:27,299 --> 01:11:30,930
an unauthorised sock-puppet production
of Jesus Christ Superstar.
1207
01:11:31,053 --> 01:11:35,692
A lot has been said about videos going viral
but, for Deb Clarington, it's like an outbreak.
1208
01:11:35,808 --> 01:11:39,022
The hits on her zombie-attack clip
is impressive enough,
1209
01:11:39,144 --> 01:11:43,404
but it's the number of her viewers weighing
in and creating their own online videos
1210
01:11:43,524 --> 01:11:44,817
that's truly staggering.
1211
01:11:44,942 --> 01:11:47,622
As the chairman of the Zombie
Outbreak Authentication Society
1212
01:11:47,736 --> 01:11:52,742
I happen to know zombies
and that is not real. It's too tan.
1213
01:11:52,866 --> 01:11:55,121
I can tell bad effects work from a mile away.
1214
01:11:55,244 --> 01:11:57,130
This is the real deal, man. It's not bogus.
1215
01:11:57,246 --> 01:12:01,422
Oh, that girl is my new hero.
What is going on right now?
1216
01:12:01,542 --> 01:12:05,504
Deb, if you're still alive out there,
I want you to know, you are so hot!
1217
01:12:05,629 --> 01:12:09,011
They say they're in Maine?
That's not even a real state.
1218
01:12:09,133 --> 01:12:14,436
Deb, encouraged by your example, I told
a co-worker that he is the love of my life.
1219
01:12:14,555 --> 01:12:16,607
He's my boss, he's happily married.
1220
01:12:16,723 --> 01:12:19,772
So we both agreed it best
that I look for another job.
1221
01:12:19,893 --> 01:12:23,108
Originally, I planned to debunk this vid
using basic physics.
1222
01:12:23,230 --> 01:12:25,947
Then I thought about recreating
part of it with some friends.
1223
01:12:26,066 --> 01:12:28,451
Those idiots actually think
this thing is real.
1224
01:12:28,569 --> 01:12:31,618
Is the video real in your own opinion?
1225
01:12:31,738 --> 01:12:34,324
I believe that the woman in the video
believes it's real.
1226
01:12:34,449 --> 01:12:36,502
Now, how sure are you?
1227
01:12:36,618 --> 01:12:39,122
She exhibits all five signs of a person
who's speaking the truth.
1228
01:12:39,246 --> 01:12:43,920
I expound more on this, of course, in my book
The Five Signs Of Truth, which is available...
1229
01:12:44,042 --> 01:12:46,213
What the fudge?
1230
01:12:46,336 --> 01:12:50,429
As night falls on Portland, Maine,
more questions than answers.
1231
01:12:50,549 --> 01:12:54,891
Repeated calls to the Governor's office from
this station and many others around the country
1232
01:12:55,012 --> 01:13:00,362
have gone unanswered, but we will not rest
until we get to the bottom of this situation.
1233
01:13:01,435 --> 01:13:04,069
Now how about this hilarious cat video?
1234
01:13:05,481 --> 01:13:07,153
Yes, Deb!
1235
01:13:07,274 --> 01:13:10,786
You did it! They'll have to investigate now,
they'll just have to.
1236
01:13:10,903 --> 01:13:13,667
Well, I'm really happy for you, Ryan.
1237
01:13:13,780 --> 01:13:18,621
Let's get real here. We both know in a few
minutes I'll be trying to eat your brains.
1238
01:13:18,744 --> 01:13:21,543
Well, the joke's on you then,
cos it will be a small meal.
1239
01:13:21,663 --> 01:13:25,886
Really? You are starting to look
so delicious right now.
1240
01:13:26,001 --> 01:13:28,682
And you're starting to look like
you've lost a lot of blood.
1241
01:13:28,796 --> 01:13:33,185
- Does it matter at this point?
- It matters to me. Where's the first-aid kit?
1242
01:13:34,384 --> 01:13:38,644
I think it's in the break room, but it's
too far unless we go through the studio.
1243
01:13:38,764 --> 01:13:40,983
- Then let's go.
- Okay.
1244
01:13:46,897 --> 01:13:49,116
No! No, no, no, no.
1245
01:13:49,233 --> 01:13:51,035
I have an idea.
1246
01:13:53,570 --> 01:13:56,251
Hear me, undead!
1247
01:13:56,365 --> 01:13:59,829
This man is a friend to us. He means us no...
1248
01:13:59,952 --> 01:14:01,957
Oh, God! Oh, I regret that.
1249
01:14:06,125 --> 01:14:07,465
Ooh!
1250
01:14:12,506 --> 01:14:14,641
Oh, that was awesome!
1251
01:14:18,387 --> 01:14:20,522
Ladies first.
1252
01:14:23,350 --> 01:14:25,106
Oh, wrong way!
1253
01:14:25,227 --> 01:14:26,947
Come on!
1254
01:14:31,045 --> 01:14:32,785
Stairs!
1255
01:14:59,428 --> 01:15:02,227
Deb, Deb! Come on, come on,
we've gotta get going.
1256
01:15:02,347 --> 01:15:06,191
No! Ryan, it's the end of the line for me.
1257
01:15:06,310 --> 01:15:09,524
- Okay, I... I... I'll carry you. Come on.
- Where?
1258
01:15:11,210 --> 01:15:14,153
Listen. We've had a good run.
1259
01:15:14,276 --> 01:15:17,622
But I'm starting to get hungry.
1260
01:15:17,738 --> 01:15:20,787
I can really see myself
going to town on your liver.
1261
01:15:20,908 --> 01:15:24,040
Your spleen, maybe a couple of pancreas.
1262
01:15:24,161 --> 01:15:26,842
Your pancreas is actually singular.
1263
01:15:26,955 --> 01:15:28,628
Oh, thank you, Bill Nye.
1264
01:15:28,749 --> 01:15:31,430
Ooh! Hey, hey! Stay with me, stay with me!
1265
01:15:32,586 --> 01:15:35,221
Ryan, what are you still doing here?
1266
01:15:35,339 --> 01:15:37,807
You could outrun Misty Raines easily.
1267
01:15:37,925 --> 01:15:41,887
And now you're bound to end up
like one of us or die a horrible death.
1268
01:15:42,012 --> 01:15:45,643
I'd rather take that risk than be
without the people I care about.
1269
01:15:45,766 --> 01:15:47,569
The people you...
1270
01:15:49,061 --> 01:15:53,284
Oh, you mean me? Duh!
I'm the people you care about?
1271
01:15:55,526 --> 01:15:59,060
I really wish we'd gotten to watch
the fireworks together on your roof.
1272
01:16:00,113 --> 01:16:02,392
That would have been awesome.
1273
01:16:03,075 --> 01:16:05,329
But now I'm starving.
1274
01:16:05,452 --> 01:16:06,663
Okay, hey.
1275
01:16:06,787 --> 01:16:08,175
Here.
1276
01:16:08,288 --> 01:16:10,210
Do what you gotta do.
1277
01:16:12,084 --> 01:16:14,053
Thank you.
1278
01:16:20,884 --> 01:16:22,272
Got him!
1279
01:16:24,471 --> 01:16:26,061
- Hey.
- What's up?
1280
01:16:27,850 --> 01:16:30,530
Deb, right? We are huge fans.
1281
01:16:32,813 --> 01:16:35,494
- Are you good to go?
- Oh! Wait. What?
1282
01:16:35,607 --> 01:16:39,320
You have a bite wound there. Just keep
it clean and change that bandage daily.
1283
01:16:39,444 --> 01:16:42,125
No, she was bitten by a zombie.
1284
01:16:44,741 --> 01:16:46,794
Are you talking about what
those people back there have?
1285
01:16:46,910 --> 01:16:49,081
- Yeah!
- You can't get that from biting.
1286
01:16:49,204 --> 01:16:52,668
Yeah, that is really
an archaic way of thinking.
1287
01:16:52,791 --> 01:16:56,932
I mean, a biter would have to have an open
wound in his mouth literally gushing blood.
1288
01:16:57,045 --> 01:17:01,601
Even then, it's like a thousand to one.
What are you, some kind of zombie-phobe?
1289
01:17:01,717 --> 01:17:05,311
No, no. A lot of my best friends are zombies.
1290
01:17:05,429 --> 01:17:06,686
Probably.
1291
01:17:08,015 --> 01:17:10,565
We're just messing with you.
These things are hideous.
1292
01:17:10,684 --> 01:17:13,614
- Yeah, filthy!
- But you can't get it from a bite, so...
1293
01:17:13,729 --> 01:17:16,197
Turns out it was in the water or something.
1294
01:17:16,315 --> 01:17:17,703
Who knew?
1295
01:17:23,197 --> 01:17:27,254
- You said you wanted to eat me.
- Yeah, that's embarrassing.
1296
01:17:27,367 --> 01:17:30,215
You talked about internal organs.
I mean, it got really specific.
1297
01:17:30,329 --> 01:17:33,259
- Well, I was delirious, okay.
- You sure you don't want to now?
1298
01:17:34,875 --> 01:17:38,885
- Mm, you said some things, too.
- I know I did.
1299
01:17:39,004 --> 01:17:40,475
So...
1300
01:17:40,589 --> 01:17:43,768
It's safe to assume that you like me.
1301
01:17:46,595 --> 01:17:47,639
Hey!
1302
01:17:47,763 --> 01:17:50,812
How did you guys figure out
this virus so fast?
1303
01:17:50,933 --> 01:17:54,694
- Oh, we had a little help.
- Dad!
1304
01:17:54,812 --> 01:17:55,855
Ryan!
1305
01:17:55,979 --> 01:17:59,028
Hey, Deb. What a night, huh?
1306
01:17:59,149 --> 01:18:03,111
- Turns out biting doesn't turn you.
- Yeah, we heard!
1307
01:18:03,237 --> 01:18:08,291
- But how did you escape the troops?
- Well, like I said, biting doesn't turn you.
1308
01:18:08,408 --> 01:18:13,421
Come on! What are you waiting for?
I'm already bit, you dumb pansies!
1309
01:18:13,539 --> 01:18:15,923
- Drop the weapon!
- Come on, finish me!
1310
01:18:16,041 --> 01:18:18,545
- My head is killing me.
- We are approaching.
1311
01:18:18,669 --> 01:18:22,308
- Put it down!
- Make me, you dumb-ass!
1312
01:18:23,549 --> 01:18:26,396
Dale! Chowder! Mad Dog!
1313
01:18:26,510 --> 01:18:28,064
Chaz.
1314
01:18:28,178 --> 01:18:31,026
Jazzy Chazzy. That's my Pop.
Be careful with him, okay?
1315
01:18:31,140 --> 01:18:32,895
- Oh?
- Son!
1316
01:18:33,016 --> 01:18:35,187
Pops, we play billiards.
Be cool! That's my Pops!
1317
01:18:35,310 --> 01:18:37,066
- That's my boy!
- Yep.
1318
01:18:37,187 --> 01:18:40,569
Came to save you. I wonder where Ryan is?
1319
01:18:40,691 --> 01:18:43,194
Off with his new girlfriend probably.
I don't see him.
1320
01:18:46,572 --> 01:18:49,122
What's up, douche?
1321
01:18:49,241 --> 01:18:52,622
- We're alive and we're under arrest.
- That's my boy!
1322
01:18:52,744 --> 01:18:54,085
Yeah!
1323
01:18:54,204 --> 01:18:56,091
Now, come on.
1324
01:18:56,206 --> 01:18:58,461
Hurry up and kiss the girl.
1325
01:18:58,584 --> 01:19:00,755
- Oh...
- I've got a date with the Feds.
1326
01:19:00,878 --> 01:19:04,745
The towns overrun with zombies so they'll
be bombing the hell out of Portland soon.
1327
01:19:07,384 --> 01:19:08,889
Come on!
1328
01:19:10,929 --> 01:19:13,017
I'm sorry I tried to eat you.
1329
01:19:13,140 --> 01:19:15,477
You don't have to kiss me.
1330
01:19:15,601 --> 01:19:17,570
No, I was going to anyway.
108046