All language subtitles for home improvement.S01E03
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.SubtitleDB.org today
2
00:01:12,890 --> 00:01:14,440
Welcome to the Taylor home.
We're about ready to start
3
00:01:14,529 --> 00:01:17,839
that second half of this fantastic game.
Green Bay Packers. Minnesota Vikings.
4
00:01:20,049 --> 00:01:23,750
Before we go down to the field.
Let's check out that snack situation.
5
00:01:23,849 --> 00:01:25,839
Mark, take it away.
6
00:01:26,130 --> 00:01:28,559
Pretzels.
liquorice, pork rinds.
7
00:01:28,650 --> 00:01:31,680
Yeah.
That's three major food groups right there -
8
00:01:31,769 --> 00:01:33,599
salt, sugar. lard.
9
00:01:34,089 --> 00:01:38,319
Um, all right.
Today. I got cold brewskis for me.
10
00:01:38,410 --> 00:01:40,869
ice-cold root brewskis
for my boys...
11
00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:43,000
- Dad? Here are the chips.
- You got it, buddy.
12
00:01:43,089 --> 00:01:45,519
- Go long.
- Nice pass, kid.
13
00:01:45,609 --> 00:01:47,519
All right.
14
00:01:49,890 --> 00:01:51,240
- Dad?
- What?
15
00:01:51,329 --> 00:01:54,039
You're turning all red.
16
00:02:01,769 --> 00:02:04,640
There's a warning label
right there.
17
00:02:04,730 --> 00:02:09,750
You shouldn't open these in broad daylight
in Detroit. Could cause an explosion.
18
00:02:10,569 --> 00:02:13,640
Wow. Look at this warning label.
19
00:02:13,730 --> 00:02:17,200
Socks may strike husband
unexpectedly.
20
00:02:17,289 --> 00:02:19,279
You could put an eye out
like that.
21
00:02:19,369 --> 00:02:22,400
Boys, help me clean this mess up. Second
half's about ready to begin here. Hurry up.
22
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:26,190
Now, listen. Don't get too involved in that.
Tim. We have to get ready to go soon.
23
00:02:26,289 --> 00:02:28,480
Go?
Where are we going?
24
00:02:28,569 --> 00:02:31,000
Dinner, tonight.
Chez Pierre.
25
00:02:31,089 --> 00:02:34,789
- That can't be tonight.
- It most certainly is.
26
00:02:34,890 --> 00:02:36,200
Well, what about
the big game?
27
00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:38,319
Well, what have you been watching
all this time?
28
00:02:38,410 --> 00:02:41,920
This is the little game
right before the big game.
29
00:02:42,009 --> 00:02:45,279
The big game's the Rams and the Lions.
Why didn't you remind me about dinner?
30
00:02:45,369 --> 00:02:48,559
Now, don't pull that. I asked you yesterday
if you had reconfirmed the reservations.
31
00:02:48,650 --> 00:02:51,029
and you said. "Uh-huh." And then I said.
"Were they for seven o'clock?"
32
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:52,759
And you said. "Uh-huh." And then I said.
"Did you get the baby-sitter?"
33
00:02:52,849 --> 00:02:55,410
And you said. "Uh-huh." So I guess that
means you didn't get the baby-sitter, huh?
34
00:02:55,490 --> 00:02:57,079
Uh-uh.
35
00:02:57,690 --> 00:02:59,480
Unbelievable.
36
00:02:59,569 --> 00:03:01,559
I completely forgot.
37
00:03:02,529 --> 00:03:05,440
We can't get a baby-sitter
at this late hour.
38
00:03:05,529 --> 00:03:09,359
This is
a tremendous disappointment to me.
39
00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:12,960
Yeah. I'll bet it is.
This was supposed to be
our romantic night out.
40
00:03:13,049 --> 00:03:15,000
Hey, romance?
I got it.
41
00:03:15,089 --> 00:03:19,799
Why don't you and I go upstairs, turn
the lights down, sit in bed, bottle of wine,
42
00:03:19,890 --> 00:03:23,119
and we can watch
the game up there.
43
00:03:23,210 --> 00:03:25,670
You're not getting out of this
with anything short of pneumonia.
44
00:03:30,369 --> 00:03:32,200
Boy, it's funny
you mentioned that.
45
00:03:32,289 --> 00:03:36,359
This morning I horked up
something nasty-looking.
46
00:03:36,970 --> 00:03:39,960
It shot right out of my lungs.
47
00:03:40,410 --> 00:03:43,920
Well, suck it back in.
We're going to dinner.
48
00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:46,160
Whoa!
49
00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:49,119
You don't whistle at guys.
you doofus.
50
00:03:49,210 --> 00:03:51,960
You can when they look
as handsome as your daddy.
51
00:03:52,049 --> 00:03:54,279
You're pretty good yourself.
sweetheart.
52
00:03:59,609 --> 00:04:03,599
- Put a lid on it.
- Who'd you get to baby-sit for us? Linda?
53
00:04:03,690 --> 00:04:06,799
No. She finds you boys
a little.., active.
54
00:04:06,890 --> 00:04:09,920
Good.
She smells.
55
00:04:10,930 --> 00:04:13,720
- Did you get Alison?
- No, honey, she's busy.
56
00:04:13,809 --> 00:04:15,029
But she sends her love.
57
00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:20,039
Stop that.
Sit, sit.
58
00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:21,799
Then who'd you get?
59
00:04:21,890 --> 00:04:23,720
Well. I found someone new.
60
00:04:24,730 --> 00:04:26,759
Go! Go! Go!
61
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:29,200
- Tim...
- Go get the door!
62
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:33,119
Please turn off
the television.
63
00:04:34,569 --> 00:04:36,319
- Mrs Taylor?
- Yes.
64
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:40,440
Sir Larry Houdini.
world's second greatest escape artist.
65
00:04:40,529 --> 00:04:43,319
and magician extraordinaire.
66
00:04:43,410 --> 00:04:46,920
Hey, you're great. I saw you
at Chris Johnson's birthday party.
67
00:04:47,009 --> 00:04:50,079
- Lovely little girl.
- Chris is a boy.
68
00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:52,549
Strange little boy.
69
00:04:56,170 --> 00:05:01,599
But tell me, where are the birthday
balloons, funny party hats, the pony ride?
70
00:05:01,690 --> 00:05:05,279
Well, actually.
no one here's having a birthday.
71
00:05:05,369 --> 00:05:07,670
Well, you told me on the phone
it was a birthday.
72
00:05:07,769 --> 00:05:12,680
I know. I lied. I'm so sorry. I was desperate.
My husband didn't get a baby-sitter.
73
00:05:12,769 --> 00:05:15,230
and I called everybody I knew.
and everybody was busy.
74
00:05:15,369 --> 00:05:17,079
Couldn't you just please stay?
75
00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:18,720
Never. Never!
76
00:05:19,690 --> 00:05:22,640
Sir Larry has performed
prestidigitation
77
00:05:22,730 --> 00:05:28,720
before prime ministers, heads of state.
mo kings, and a cranky duke.
78
00:05:28,809 --> 00:05:34,799
and never once has he stooped
to baby-sitting to make ends meet.
79
00:05:35,809 --> 00:05:38,640
Haµµy birthday to yo4
80
00:05:38,849 --> 00:05:41,410
Haµµy birthday to yo4
81
00:05:41,490 --> 00:05:45,400
Haµµy birthday.., yo4r names here
82
00:05:45,490 --> 00:05:47,759
Haµµy birthday to yo4
83
00:05:47,849 --> 00:05:50,410
Thank you so much.
You don't know what this means to me.
84
00:05:50,490 --> 00:05:52,789
Well, boys.
the performance is about to start.
85
00:05:52,890 --> 00:05:57,079
so would you please help Sir Larry in
with his magical trunk?
86
00:05:57,170 --> 00:06:00,480
- Jill, hold on. What's going on here?
- I'm sorry.
87
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:04,799
Sir Larry, this is my husband. Tim.
Tim, this is Sir Larry, the baby-sitter.
88
00:06:04,890 --> 00:06:07,000
- How you doing?
- And magician extraordinaire.
89
00:06:07,089 --> 00:06:09,839
Yeah. I bet you are. Larry.
Jill?
90
00:06:10,849 --> 00:06:13,880
You got a magician
to baby-sit my boys?
91
00:06:14,730 --> 00:06:16,480
Perfect. Perfect.
92
00:06:16,569 --> 00:06:20,190
Sir Larry? Uh, the number where we are
at the restaurant is right here.
93
00:06:20,329 --> 00:06:21,720
Call us if you have
any problems.
94
00:06:21,809 --> 00:06:23,920
- Whoa!
- What happened. Brad? What happened?
95
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,880
The Lions just recovered
a fumble.
96
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,559
- Yes!
- OK. Goodbye, boys. Goodbye. Sir Larry.
97
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:33,119
- Let's go. Tim.
- We should stay and watch a trick.
98
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:36,000
It's not gonna work. Tim.
Let's go.
99
00:06:38,170 --> 00:06:40,119
My wallet.
Left it over there by the TV.
100
00:06:40,210 --> 00:06:43,079
- I've got credits cards.
- Do you?
101
00:06:44,049 --> 00:06:47,799
- My medicine's up by the TV upstairs.
- You don't take medicine.
102
00:06:49,849 --> 00:06:53,630
I should take some.
I'm feeling a horker coming on.
103
00:06:57,049 --> 00:06:59,400
This is so romantic.
104
00:06:59,490 --> 00:07:01,920
And you have to admit.
it's a beautiful place.
105
00:07:02,009 --> 00:07:04,680
A beautiful place
for a beautiful woman.
106
00:07:05,369 --> 00:07:07,160
Thank you, sweetie.
107
00:07:07,289 --> 00:07:11,279
I really, really do appreciate this. I know
it was hard for you to leave that game.
108
00:07:11,369 --> 00:07:14,400
Game?
What game?
109
00:07:14,890 --> 00:07:17,079
Excuse me, sir.
Can you tell me where the ladies' room is?
110
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,279
Down the hall.
to the left.
111
00:07:19,369 --> 00:07:23,640
- I'll be right back.
- And I'll be right here. Jill. Right here.
112
00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:26,599
I'll be right here.
113
00:07:31,210 --> 00:07:32,269
Could you give me a hand
with this thing?
114
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,000
Is that a radio?
115
00:07:34,089 --> 00:07:35,400
- Yeah.
- You got the game on?
116
00:07:35,490 --> 00:07:37,950
Got the game on.
117
00:07:38,049 --> 00:07:41,640
Take that. I wanna get that second quarter
before she gets back from the bathroom.
118
00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:46,400
- Oh, man. This is absolutely brilliant.
- Thanks, buddy.
119
00:07:48,970 --> 00:07:52,279
- So what's happening?
- Hold on a minute.
120
00:07:52,849 --> 00:07:54,880
- Here we go. Yes!
- What? What? What7.
121
00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:57,400
I don't know. Some kind of interception.
They're inside the six, first and goal.
122
00:07:57,490 --> 00:07:59,039
All right!
What's the score?
123
00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:02,000
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
Rodney's in motion.
124
00:08:02,089 --> 00:08:03,480
Rodney Pete's back.
He's back.
125
00:08:03,569 --> 00:08:05,720
Jill's back.
Hi. Jill.
126
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,519
Did you miss me?
127
00:08:12,849 --> 00:08:15,279
Sure I missed you.
128
00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:17,799
- Are you OK?
- Oh, yeah.
129
00:08:19,650 --> 00:08:23,119
You ever mist your neck real fast.
get one of those cricks?
130
00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:27,359
- Well. I got that.
- Do you want me to rub it?
131
00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:31,400
- Your neck?
- My neck?
132
00:08:31,490 --> 00:08:34,519
No. If I put my hand like this...
It feels much better now.
133
00:08:34,609 --> 00:08:36,400
OK.
134
00:08:36,490 --> 00:08:41,349
Look at this.
Endive souflé prepared with mushrooms.
135
00:08:41,450 --> 00:08:42,559
Yes!
136
00:08:48,009 --> 00:08:50,000
Mushroom.
137
00:08:51,809 --> 00:08:54,680
Tim, you don't like mushrooms.
138
00:08:54,769 --> 00:08:59,710
At home, no. But here, you know...
They're in oils and stuff here. Yeah.
139
00:08:59,809 --> 00:09:01,359
Look. Look.
They have your favorite, trout almondine.
140
00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:03,039
All right!
141
00:09:04,650 --> 00:09:06,160
What happened?
142
00:09:06,289 --> 00:09:09,039
I'm having the trout!
143
00:09:14,130 --> 00:09:18,279
Tim, would you like to tell me what's
going on? Why you're, uh, sitting like that?
144
00:09:18,369 --> 00:09:20,319
- My neck.
- Well, perhaps I should look at it.
145
00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:24,190
No. No, from the naked eye.
it would look like any other neck.
146
00:09:24,289 --> 00:09:27,599
And cricks are generally
inside necks.
147
00:09:27,690 --> 00:09:29,400
- Gimme your hand.
- Hey. look at that.
148
00:09:29,490 --> 00:09:32,480
- Gimme your other hand.
- I don't want to.
149
00:09:35,890 --> 00:09:38,519
Tim, give me the radio.
150
00:09:38,609 --> 00:09:42,230
I wasn't gonna listen
to the whole thing.
151
00:09:42,329 --> 00:09:44,630
- Would it help if I said I was sorry?
- It might.
152
00:09:44,730 --> 00:09:47,359
- I'm sorry.
- It didn't. Is this the volume?
153
00:09:53,410 --> 00:09:58,400
That's it, boys, nice and tight.
Sir Larry loves a challenge.
154
00:10:00,009 --> 00:10:02,960
- This is too cool.
- Thank you, my lad.
155
00:10:03,049 --> 00:10:05,430
Do we get to stick swords
in the box?
156
00:10:05,529 --> 00:10:11,789
Sword in the box - fantastic illusion.
Sets the mind reeling and the pulse racing.
157
00:10:11,890 --> 00:10:13,880
l don't do it.
158
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,480
- Why not?
- Too easy.
159
00:10:19,529 --> 00:10:23,960
Now then, my lad.
will you kindly assist me into the trunk?
160
00:10:24,969 --> 00:10:30,440
Thank you.
Now, you will close the trunk and lock it.
161
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:34,800
When I give the command.
you will set the timer at ten seconds.
162
00:10:34,889 --> 00:10:37,349
And when the timer
goes off...
163
00:10:37,449 --> 00:10:40,199
I shall appear
at the front door.
164
00:10:42,449 --> 00:10:45,199
I don't know -
ten seconds isn't very long.
165
00:10:45,289 --> 00:10:50,079
To you.
But to Sir Larry, ten seconds is an eternity.
166
00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:55,079
Now, boys.
prepare to be astonished.
167
00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:58,000
Close the lid!
168
00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:07,960
Is the top securely locked?
169
00:11:08,050 --> 00:11:14,039
- Yes, it is.
- Then set the timer and stand back.
170
00:11:37,010 --> 00:11:39,079
Sir Larry?
171
00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:41,199
Boys!
172
00:11:44,650 --> 00:11:47,840
Reset the timer.
173
00:11:49,530 --> 00:11:53,230
You know what you are. Tim.
You are a sports addict.
174
00:11:53,329 --> 00:11:58,599
I am not. I like sports. I have a very healthy
interest, but I am not an addict.
175
00:12:02,530 --> 00:12:06,559
- Is that the Lions game on in there?
- Yes. That's why service is a little slow.
176
00:12:06,650 --> 00:12:08,800
The staff have a television
in the kitchen.
177
00:12:12,809 --> 00:12:14,679
- Did you get a score?
- What's the score?
178
00:12:14,769 --> 00:12:18,760
I'm not sure. I know the Lions
intercepted a pass on the Rams' 20.
179
00:12:18,849 --> 00:12:21,039
Yes!
I bet it was Spielman.
180
00:12:21,130 --> 00:12:23,920
Chris Spielman, awesome player.
Last week, see him against Minnesota?
181
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:26,000
See him?
Man. I was there.
182
00:12:27,969 --> 00:12:30,760
I can't take it. I can't take it.
I've got to see this game.
183
00:12:30,849 --> 00:12:33,360
Honey. I'm sorry.
I'll be back.
184
00:12:39,010 --> 00:12:41,389
That guy's got a problem.
185
00:12:47,210 --> 00:12:50,639
That guy is addicted to sports.
186
00:12:50,730 --> 00:12:55,239
He is out of control.
187
00:12:55,329 --> 00:12:58,599
- And you're not?
- No. No, no.
188
00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,920
We're here to talk about
whatever you wanna talk about.
189
00:13:01,010 --> 00:13:03,469
Well, that's good.
cos I wanna talk about us.
190
00:13:04,289 --> 00:13:05,719
You know how
we're always talking about
191
00:13:05,809 --> 00:13:08,679
how we need to find more things
that we can do together for fun?
192
00:13:08,769 --> 00:13:09,960
- Yeah.
- We always talk about it.
193
00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:12,679
- but we never do anything about it?
- Let's do something about it.
194
00:13:12,769 --> 00:13:16,760
Next weekend -
monster truck rally and tractor pull.
195
00:13:17,769 --> 00:13:21,679
Well, gee.
as much fun as that sounds.
196
00:13:21,769 --> 00:13:25,960
I was really thinking
more along the lines of...
197
00:13:26,050 --> 00:13:27,960
ballroom dancing.
198
00:13:28,050 --> 00:13:30,039
Yeah.
199
00:13:31,489 --> 00:13:34,199
- Boy, that was my second choice.
- No, no, really.
200
00:13:34,289 --> 00:13:36,920
I'm serious. I think it would really be fun
to take dancing lessons.
201
00:13:37,010 --> 00:13:39,679
Me? The King?
Remember college?
202
00:13:39,769 --> 00:13:41,719
Yeah.
203
00:13:41,809 --> 00:13:45,510
Tim, disco didn't die.
you killed it.
204
00:13:45,610 --> 00:13:49,039
No. I'm talking about grown-up dancing.
Fred and Ginger.
205
00:13:49,130 --> 00:13:51,590
I thought Fred married Wilma.
206
00:13:52,969 --> 00:13:56,360
You know what I mean. You know.
holding each close, swaying to the music.
207
00:13:56,449 --> 00:13:59,039
gliding across the floor.
208
00:13:59,170 --> 00:14:00,679
Gliding in public's not me.
209
00:14:00,769 --> 00:14:02,320
We can take private lessons.
just you and me.
210
00:14:04,289 --> 00:14:05,840
Unbelievable!
211
00:14:06,650 --> 00:14:07,789
Come here. You gotta see this.
212
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:11,000
Sanders just broke one for 50 yards
around the right side.
213
00:14:11,090 --> 00:14:12,360
They tackled him
on the one.
214
00:14:12,449 --> 00:14:14,440
We're gonna score!
It's a first down!
215
00:14:14,530 --> 00:14:16,679
Happy anniversary, baby.
216
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:32,719
Honey,
217
00:14:32,809 --> 00:14:35,269
would you like to go
and watch the game?
218
00:14:35,369 --> 00:14:39,639
No. No.
We were talking about...
219
00:14:43,889 --> 00:14:46,119
- Ballroom dancing.
- Ballroom dancing. That's what it is.
220
00:14:48,570 --> 00:14:52,400
So anyway.
the lessons are on Tuesday nights.
221
00:14:52,489 --> 00:14:55,360
And it doesn't really cost very much.
222
00:14:55,449 --> 00:14:59,719
And... I've been having an affair
with a space alien.
223
00:14:59,809 --> 00:15:03,559
Yep. I'm...
I'm having his baby.
224
00:15:06,050 --> 00:15:08,610
Touchdown!
225
00:15:17,730 --> 00:15:20,719
Honey.., go.
226
00:15:20,809 --> 00:15:23,440
- I'm fine. I don't have to see the game.
- No, trust me. It's OK.
227
00:15:23,530 --> 00:15:25,599
I really want you to go.
228
00:15:26,570 --> 00:15:28,559
Thank you.
229
00:15:37,929 --> 00:15:41,550
Hello? Hi. Mommy.
Guess what happened to Sir Larry.
230
00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:43,880
Mark!
231
00:15:43,969 --> 00:15:48,559
- Don't tell her, stupid.
- Why? We didn't do anything.
232
00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:53,000
The guy's locked in a box.
Who do you think she's gonna blame?
233
00:15:55,449 --> 00:15:58,559
Hi. Mom.
Yeah, we're fine.
234
00:15:58,650 --> 00:16:01,559
Yeah, he's excellent.
a lotta fun.
235
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:04,559
Yeah.
Good tricks, too.
236
00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:12,000
Now? Well...
he can't talk right now.
237
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,549
- She wants to talk to Mark.
- That's because she knows you'll squeal.
238
00:16:19,639 --> 00:16:22,309
I won't squeal.
I promise.
239
00:16:25,159 --> 00:16:26,470
Hello. Mommy.
240
00:16:26,559 --> 00:16:30,179
Brad and Randy
locked Sir Larry in the trunk.
241
00:16:35,519 --> 00:16:37,870
- Boys!
- It's OK. Sir Larry.
242
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:41,500
If we get the trunk high enough and drop it.
it'll break open.
243
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,159
Please. Let's not be hasty, boys.
244
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,830
- Mom and Dad are home.
- We're dead. Hide!
245
00:16:49,799 --> 00:16:52,789
- Boys?
- Randy? Mark? Brad?
246
00:16:53,559 --> 00:16:55,549
Out here!
247
00:16:59,159 --> 00:17:01,620
Mark, where is Mr Houdini?
248
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:03,700
In there.
249
00:17:03,799 --> 00:17:06,829
- Are you all right, Mr Houdini?
- I'm fine.
250
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:10,390
The x-rays
may reveal otherwise however.
251
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,109
- Mark, where are your brothers?
- I don't know, Dad.
252
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,230
In the bushes.
253
00:17:16,799 --> 00:17:18,509
Here, honey.
Come here.
254
00:17:18,599 --> 00:17:22,269
Brad. Randy, come on out.
Come on. Come on, right now.
255
00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:24,029
I don't know
what gets into you guys sometimes.
256
00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:25,829
What'd you stuff that old man
in that trunk for?
257
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:26,950
He told us to.
258
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:28,549
Now, why would he want
to be put in a trunk?
259
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:29,589
But he did tell us to.
260
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,789
- Yeah, he did. It's the truth.
- He's not...
261
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,230
The boys are speaking the truth.
They are completely innocent.
262
00:17:35,319 --> 00:17:37,829
Well, we'll talk about this in the morning.
It's bedtime now.
263
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:41,950
- Come on. I wanna see if he gets out.
- No, no, no. I'll be up later. Go on.
264
00:17:42,039 --> 00:17:44,869
Honey.
we're in some kinda trouble.
265
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:50,509
These are reinforced
polycarbonate American butt hinges.
266
00:17:51,839 --> 00:17:55,150
Sir Larry, is there anything that we can do?
Someone we can call?
267
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,859
Yes. You can call my son.
Cyril the Magnificent.
268
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:03,980
He has an extra set of keys.
and he's at 555-7653.
269
00:18:04,079 --> 00:18:06,460
All right.
I'll call right away.
270
00:18:06,559 --> 00:18:10,750
Hang in there. Sir Larry.
And just take real short little breaths.
271
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,500
Wilson?
272
00:18:14,039 --> 00:18:15,910
- Howdy, neighbor.
- What are you doing over there?
273
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,190
Just mending
the bellows on my accordion.
274
00:18:18,279 --> 00:18:20,549
- Cool.
- What's in the trunk?
275
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,589
- A famous magician.
- Is he coming out of the box?
276
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,950
As soon as his son comes over
and unlocks it.
277
00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:28,789
Not much of a trick. Tim.
278
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:32,190
- You got a minute?
- Sure, good buddy. You got a problem?
279
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,509
Well, it's Jill.
280
00:18:34,599 --> 00:18:37,710
I love her.
She's the most important thing in my life.
281
00:18:37,799 --> 00:18:40,359
What did you do
this time. Tim?
282
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:45,069
We went out tonight to have a night just by
ourselves - real romantic, that kinda stuff -
283
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,619
and I spoiled it because
of a football game.
284
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,549
We won.
285
00:18:51,559 --> 00:18:55,099
I don't know what it is about
football and me. I'm obsessed. I think.
286
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,829
Well, why do you think
that is. Tim?
287
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,380
I think it's cos
I love it. Wilson.
288
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,670
I love the surprise
and the strategy and the strength.
289
00:19:03,759 --> 00:19:06,670
The big guys, the logos.
the colorful helmets.
290
00:19:06,759 --> 00:19:08,789
The shine and the pads
and the mouth guards.
291
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:12,269
The cleats and the hit and the impact.
The swearing, the sweat...
292
00:19:17,279 --> 00:19:19,390
Sets me free. Wilson.
293
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:24,230
Well, what you're describing. Tim.
is what Aristotle would call a "catharsis".
294
00:19:24,319 --> 00:19:27,390
Catharsis.
How do you spell that? C...
295
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,710
Well. Let's just say
an emotional release. Tim.
296
00:19:30,799 --> 00:19:35,109
Bingo. That's.., that's what I feel.
and I don't think she understands that.
297
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,990
She doesn't have to. Tim.
298
00:19:37,079 --> 00:19:39,349
I'm sure there are things about her
that you don't understand.
299
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:43,509
Well, you got that right. You know, that
woman has never had a haircut she liked.
300
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,589
Well, there you go.
301
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:51,029
And I go into her closet. I see 19 pairs
of black shoes. What's that all about?
302
00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:55,470
Well. Tim, different outfits
require different shoes.
303
00:19:55,559 --> 00:19:58,670
You got your pumps, your flats.
your espadrilles, your open-toes.
304
00:19:58,759 --> 00:20:01,710
your T-straps, your patent leather...
I could go on and on.
305
00:20:01,799 --> 00:20:03,150
I get the feeling you could.
306
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:07,269
The point is, you and Jill don't have
to understand each other completely.
307
00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:13,230
What is important is to share and enjoy
the things you both do understand.
308
00:20:13,319 --> 00:20:16,230
That's exactly
what she was talking about, too.
309
00:20:16,319 --> 00:20:19,789
Sharing - she wanted to share.
But ballroom dancing?
310
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,670
Well, why don't you give it a try. Tim?
311
00:20:21,759 --> 00:20:28,019
As the ancient Celtic saying goes: never
give a sword to a man who can't dance.
312
00:20:30,319 --> 00:20:33,230
- Sir Larry?
- Still in here.
313
00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:36,069
Yes. Cyril is on his way over
with the keys.
314
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,269
Thank you.
kind madam.
315
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,029
- Hi.
- Hi.
316
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:51,630
About tonight. Jill.
I know I was stupid.
317
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:56,069
I know I spoiled things.
I wanna apologize.
318
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:59,859
And I won't watch
all-day football any more.
319
00:21:02,039 --> 00:21:04,500
What about Thanksgiving
and New Year's?
320
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:07,950
Half-day.
321
00:21:09,039 --> 00:21:11,710
Or I'll cut out the pre-game show.
or something.
322
00:21:11,799 --> 00:21:15,869
I'll just try not to be
so stupid about it.
323
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,190
- You'd do that for me?
- In a second.
324
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:26,069
Well, we can always try
and do it again.
325
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,069
Go out some evening.
have some romance.
326
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,950
Well, we're here.
327
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,390
We're alone.
328
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:37,230
Moon's full. That's pretty romantic.
What more do you need?
329
00:21:52,279 --> 00:21:55,950
I'll be loving you
330
00:21:56,039 --> 00:21:59,269
Always
331
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:02,980
With a love that's true
332
00:22:03,079 --> 00:22:06,230
Always
333
00:22:06,319 --> 00:22:09,269
When the things you planned
334
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:12,900
Need a helping hand
335
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,539
I will understand
336
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:20,390
Always, always
337
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,549
fate may not be fair
338
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,019
Always
339
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:32,630
Once you've cut the opening, you're
ready to lay the sink in there. Right? Al?
340
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,549
That's right, Tim.
341
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:38,470
You know, home improvement's
not just about renovating the kitchen.
342
00:22:38,559 --> 00:22:41,190
There's a lot of other ways
to improve your home.
343
00:22:41,279 --> 00:22:45,029
Always be aware
of your partner's needs.
344
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:49,150
Take time out to share some special time
with your spouse.
345
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,829
- Right. Al?
- I'm not married. Tim.
346
00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:56,470
Well, if you change those shirts
and get a haircut, or something.
347
00:22:56,559 --> 00:23:00,309
- I got a haircut.
- Get a better one. Al.
348
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,509
- OK.
- All right. We drop it on "three", yeah?
349
00:23:02,599 --> 00:23:03,950
- On three.
- One.
350
00:23:04,039 --> 00:23:05,390
Two.
351
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,829
Al?
352
00:23:10,305 --> 00:23:16,869
Please rate this subtitle at %url%
Help other users to choose the best subtitles
28515
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.