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1
00:00:01,523 --> 00:00:02,393
: Previously
on Wynonna Earp.
2
00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:04,091
I am a fully grown half-angel.
3
00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:06,876
-I am the guardian.
-I'm sworn to protect Waverly!
4
00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:08,965
They're working on some
inter-dimensional gateway.
5
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,011
It's the 2005 chili cook-off
all over again.
6
00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,751
I'm gonna be waiting for you
7
00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:14,666
back in Purgatory.
8
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:15,841
Ahh!
9
00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:17,582
I'm here, and we gotta
get back there!
10
00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:18,757
Ahh!
11
00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:19,497
No...
12
00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:21,282
Waverly.
13
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,633
-The town...
-You've been gone 18 months,
14
00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:26,374
three weeks, and four days.
15
00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:28,289
All of you have.
16
00:00:34,730 --> 00:00:37,298
Someone has been handing out
hemp neckties.
17
00:00:38,212 --> 00:00:39,778
That's a clear fashion don't.
18
00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:41,780
Who the hell? And why?
19
00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:43,043
Frontier justice.
20
00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:44,653
Retribution must not only
be paid,
21
00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,263
it must be seen to be paid.
22
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:48,961
The old-timey version of
"pics or it didn't happen".
23
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:51,964
Something here is pretty off.
24
00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:53,401
Shorty's.
25
00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:55,055
We think better with a little
fire in our bellies.
26
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:03,759
Uh, Nedley and I were here,
27
00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:06,240
after you followed Waverly
up the stairs.
28
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,242
We drank your tequila,
29
00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:10,374
uh, but we did not macramé.
30
00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:12,724
So unless this is just
a surprise makeover
31
00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,335
by The Property Brothers...
32
00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:17,512
On occasion, I will put it on
33
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:19,992
in the middle of the afternoon,
if I have cleaning to do.
34
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,300
What is this menu?
35
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:26,086
"Gunfight At The Okra Corral."
36
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,131
What the hell
is a Cock Holliday?
37
00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:30,438
It says
it is chicken bone broth.
38
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:33,093
-Is that not simply soup?
-Wynonna?
39
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,355
Chrissy Nedley.
40
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,400
Are you a sight for sore livers.
41
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:39,099
-How dare you?!
-: Hey, whoa!
42
00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:41,101
What the fig, Chrissy?!
43
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,537
-Wynonna.
-Ahh!
44
00:01:46,932 --> 00:01:48,020
Let her go.
45
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,462
Alright, say your piece,
Chrissy.
46
00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:56,028
Say your piece, Chrissy,
just say your piece.
47
00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:58,161
If you wanna chat, I can chat.
I'm a good listener.
48
00:01:58,205 --> 00:02:01,382
Wynonna Earp, I am placing you
under citizen's arrest.
49
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,775
For the murder of my father.
50
00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,386
Randall Nedley.
51
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,393
It's just so good to be home.
52
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:20,314
♪ 'Cause I gave you
all I got to give ♪
53
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,490
♪ I know that ain't
no way to live ♪
54
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:25,406
♪ So I told that devil
55
00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:27,756
♪ To take you back
56
00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:30,498
♪ I told that devil
57
00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,282
♪ To take you back
58
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:35,459
I would never hurt Nedley!
59
00:02:35,503 --> 00:02:37,200
As if we'd take the word
of an Earp!
60
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,071
Your dad did. He trusted me!
61
00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:41,552
-Unhand her at once!
-Nedley can't be dead.
62
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:42,771
We demand proof.
63
00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:44,555
He was last seen with Wynonna.
64
00:02:44,599 --> 00:02:46,688
And that's when she disappeared
for a year and a half!
65
00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:49,212
-What a coincidence!
-Your dad was helping me!
66
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:50,518
He was hurt,
67
00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:52,433
but I left him safe
with Mercedes!
68
00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:54,130
Wait. When did you say?
69
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,958
We were gone mere days.
You lie.
70
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:57,046
: No, no!
71
00:02:57,089 --> 00:02:58,395
We've been waiting too long.
72
00:02:58,439 --> 00:02:59,570
No!
73
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,141
Doc!
74
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,796
Wynonna!
75
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,539
Put the rope down
and back away from the woman.
76
00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:15,195
Sheriff.
77
00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:17,414
That's not the sheriff.
Where's Nicole?
78
00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:21,201
Miss Chrissy,
79
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:23,638
your dad lived his life
for the law.
80
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:25,248
What would he think
of your behavior now?
81
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:26,902
-You didn't know him.
-No.
82
00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:29,121
But I do know this is not
the way we do things
83
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:30,035
in Purgatory.
84
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,386
: We want justice!
85
00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:36,781
Thank you.
86
00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:38,043
: Yeah, this isn't
right!
87
00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:39,610
Just like the criminal vermin
88
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:41,656
we hung last Monday,
89
00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:43,832
Miss Earp shall have
a trial first.
90
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:47,662
Get Waverly! Get Nicole!
91
00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:48,924
I shall get everyone.
92
00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:00,109
-Sup?
-Whoa!
93
00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:04,069
Valdez. Rachel Valdez.
94
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,332
Hi.
95
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:07,290
-I'm, uh...
-Cold?
96
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:11,381
Yeah. Frozen.
97
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:12,730
I mean, I'm practically Elsa!
98
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:16,865
-I had no idea you were...
-Kombucha?
99
00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:18,997
Pardon?
100
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,912
I make it myself.
And after last night,
101
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,392
I bet you need some hydration.
102
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,830
Mmm.
103
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,528
Microbes.
104
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:29,791
So, you're staying here?
105
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:33,925
Batman in the microwave!
106
00:04:33,969 --> 00:04:35,405
What? What is that?
107
00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:37,668
-There's something in the trap.
-Which one?
108
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:40,367
-Behind the barn.
-What are we trapping?
109
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:43,065
Monsters.
110
00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:44,762
Huh.
111
00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,077
There's ten traps
on the homestead.
112
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,122
We gotta do a full
circuit check every two hours.
113
00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:59,211
I thought the curse
was broken.
114
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,604
Traps aren't for Revenants.
115
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,345
There's all sorts of things
in the woods now.
116
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,520
And one of them,
117
00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:05,957
this big ugly troll,
wants in here bad.
118
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,655
: Oh, tarnation!
119
00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:13,008
Thank you for the exceptionally
tight welcome.
120
00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:15,663
Rachel, Doc, Doc, Rachel.
121
00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:16,359
Sup?
122
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,143
Don't move.
123
00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:21,538
I am rather determined not to.
124
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:24,759
Ohh!
125
00:05:26,064 --> 00:05:27,892
It is good to see you,
Sheriff Haught.
126
00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:31,156
Yeah, well, these days,
it's just Nicole, or...
127
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,332
"that crazy ginger bitch."
128
00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:36,684
God, it's...
129
00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:38,250
I'm so, so glad you made it,
Henry.
130
00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:39,513
Ugh!
131
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:41,689
You smell aggressively bad.
132
00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:43,647
Yeah, we use skunk juice
to bait the traps.
133
00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:45,388
Wynonna isn't marinating
in skunk juice
134
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:46,824
in one of these, is she?
135
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:48,913
-Wynonna is in jail.
-What?
136
00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:50,393
They have framed her.
137
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,395
For the murder of Randy Nedley.
138
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,877
Who are you?
139
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,008
You can call me the Sheriff.
140
00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:59,097
Okay, then you can call me
an Uber.
141
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:01,796
Ooh! Uh...
142
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:04,625
Back away from the glass,
6-1-3-3.
143
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,017
Dude...
144
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:07,279
There's a guy in there,
I'm not going in there.
145
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:08,933
Yeah, main cell's
chock-a-block.
146
00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:11,371
But believe you me,
he's far from the worst of 'em.
147
00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:15,375
Uh...
148
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,464
Assless chap?
I want my phone call!
149
00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:21,468
-I want my phone call!
-Sorry I can't hear you.
150
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,295
I demand a phone call!
151
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:30,215
-Who are you?
-Casey. You?
152
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:31,695
Local nogoodnik, Wynonna Earp.
153
00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:34,002
Ahh!
154
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,307
I thought I'd be safe in here!
155
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:36,961
Wow. Didn't even
have to steal your pudding cup
156
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:38,267
to establish who's boss. Nice.
157
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:41,923
From demons
and famous demon hunters.
158
00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,884
Back up one sec.
159
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:49,626
Pretend I haven't been here
for, say, a year and a half,
160
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:51,193
and just explain to me.
161
00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:52,586
Uh, since the town
was evacuated
162
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:55,197
-for the forest fires?
-Say I remember that.
163
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,199
Oh, well,
the townspeople left,
164
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:58,548
but demons came.
165
00:06:58,592 --> 00:07:00,028
You know when there's,
like, a bush party?
166
00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:01,943
And nobody knows
who started it,
167
00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:04,032
but everybody hears
about it somehow?
168
00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,468
They all just started
showing up.
169
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,035
Everybody shows up for bush.
170
00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:09,385
Yeah, the townspeople
were allowed to come back home,
171
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,474
and there was, like,
an ongoing demon rager,
172
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:12,519
centered around the woods.
173
00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:16,218
-The stairs.
-I'm not, I'm not staring!
174
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:17,480
Also I'm only a half-demon!
175
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:18,699
So, you know,
please don't shoot!
176
00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:19,917
Casey, don't be a weenie.
177
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:21,832
I don't even
have my gun anymore.
178
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:22,572
In here...
179
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,445
Obviously the Sheriff
would have taken it.
180
00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:28,099
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
181
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:31,363
So the woods are full
of monsters.
182
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:33,148
Crawling with 'em.
183
00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:36,934
These days, the only place
scarier than in here...
184
00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:37,674
is out there.
185
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:04,875
I have a half-knitted scarf
I was making him for Christmas.
186
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,703
His waders
are still in the barn.
187
00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:08,139
Yeah. I know, Waves.
188
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:10,185
It's tough to think
of a world without Randy Nedley.
189
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:14,276
-How can he just... be gone?
190
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:16,800
It was months of chaos
after the evacuation ended.
191
00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,802
People came back, yeah, but...
192
00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:21,109
to be blunt,
others just disappeared.
193
00:08:22,197 --> 00:08:22,937
Kate?
194
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:24,939
I saw her on
one of the evacuation trains.
195
00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:26,506
But beyond that...
196
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,333
Jeremy? And Robin?
197
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:29,596
Jeremy's getting by,
198
00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:31,423
though I haven't heard
from him in months.
199
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,208
Robin...
200
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,560
How could we have been
in that garden
201
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:38,909
for a year and a half?
202
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:42,173
We were not.
Time must be differentiated,
203
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,914
fluid in some manner.
204
00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:46,526
Yeah, God,
it's such a mind-frog.
205
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:48,615
I mean, how old even am I?
206
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:51,095
I missed so many
Property Brothers!
207
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:52,967
I feel that.
208
00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:55,404
At least if we'd have lived
the past 18 months,
209
00:08:55,447 --> 00:08:56,884
it would be easier to--
210
00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:59,582
There was nothing easy
about those months. Not a thing.
211
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:01,192
No, I didn't mean it
like that.
212
00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:03,586
Not like that at all.
213
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:06,023
There's no almond milk.
214
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:09,113
It's still hard
to get some things. Sorry.
215
00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:12,639
Please don't say you're sorry
anymore, okay?
216
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,075
You don't need to be.
217
00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:15,555
What you have done, Sheriff...
218
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:20,560
Nicole...
219
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,606
is nothing short of heroic.
220
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:24,825
In the face of all adversity,
221
00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:26,696
you alone
kept the homestead safe.
222
00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:30,395
I had Rachel.
223
00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:31,788
And the Earp shotguns.
224
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:35,575
And Wynonna
still hasn't come home.
225
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,143
They have to let us see her.
226
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:42,364
Wynonna said she last left
Nedley with Mercedes.
227
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,627
-What is the news on her?
-It's not good.
228
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,934
There's a new demon bar
out on Horsehead Trail.
229
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,153
And, though given
the circumstances,
230
00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:50,546
it is but a trifle...
231
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:54,637
is there word of my Charlene?
232
00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:56,552
♪ Tell your mama
233
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,510
♪ Tell your pa
234
00:09:58,554 --> 00:10:01,296
♪ Tell your daddy
what you never saw ♪
235
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:03,733
♪ You can run out
236
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:04,865
Woo-hoo!
237
00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,649
♪ Run out that door
238
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,704
Vacation is over, assholes.
239
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:22,317
It is time for a Holliday.
240
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:26,626
The club is members only.
241
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,106
Well, here are my dues.
242
00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:34,416
Salutations, Patrons of...
243
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,244
The Glory Hole?
244
00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:39,943
Is that really the name
of this latrine?
245
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:42,380
"Why should I obtain by force
246
00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:46,210
that which I can obtain
by cheating?"
247
00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:48,865
John Henry Holliday,
248
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:52,477
born 1851, Griffin, Georgia.
249
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:53,348
Amon.
250
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,265
I'm the proprietor
of this latrine.
251
00:10:57,308 --> 00:11:00,485
You sure you wouldn't rather
cheat than force your way in?
252
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:02,444
Bring me Ms. Gardner.
253
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:05,099
Unless you fancy
kissing hardwood too.
254
00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:07,101
Hmm, well...
255
00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:08,755
There were parts
of that scenario
256
00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:11,279
which I found enticing.
257
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:16,197
Big fan, Mr. H.
258
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:19,635
It's a demon bar.
259
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:24,509
You think we're not thrilled
to welcome an undead legend?
260
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,689
Not the worst thing
I've been called.
261
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,911
: Welcome
to my Glory Hole.
262
00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:37,044
-That's right, bonbons.
263
00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:40,047
It's time for your nicest vice,
264
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,049
the mistress of the ruthless.
265
00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:46,227
Portia Control.
266
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:48,316
♪ Do you want to go downtown
267
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:51,536
♪ See the city lights,
it's the red light district ♪
268
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:54,104
♪ Do you want to go downtown
269
00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:59,240
If they think
they're gonna lock up my sister
270
00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:01,459
for the maybe murder
of my favorite Sheriff,
271
00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,026
present company excepted,
of course.
272
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:04,941
Present company
not the Sheriff.
273
00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:06,987
Yeah, and what the hell's
that about?!
274
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:09,293
Yeah. You haven't met
the "they" yet.
275
00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:11,121
Nicole. I am gonna go to town
276
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:13,036
and I am gonna kick so much ass,
277
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,559
I might go up a shoe size.
278
00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:17,737
God, I've missed you,
Waverly Earp.
279
00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:21,479
Though how do I,
an adult woman,
280
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:23,830
own this many fuzzy garments?
281
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,093
It's only cause I organized it
by fabric.
282
00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:28,008
I did faux fur, flirty florals,
283
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,139
feminine flannels...
284
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,273
You saved it all.
285
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:34,884
-So carefully.
286
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,625
Yeah, everything I could,
anyway.
287
00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:37,887
: A little help here,
please!
288
00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:41,108
-Geez. Hey, Rachel!
289
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:43,023
Not like that!
290
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:45,808
Honestly, it's like this girl
has never milked a skunk before.
291
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:50,334
You're saying all these words
like they make sense.
292
00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:51,596
I gotta go save her
from herself.
293
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:54,730
Come back safe, okay? Again.
294
00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:57,559
And with Wynonna this time.
295
00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,213
: I just need
your juice!
296
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:00,692
Okay.
297
00:13:06,611 --> 00:13:07,917
What are you in for?
298
00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:10,137
I splatowed
one of my customers.
299
00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:11,791
I thought she was a Medusa.
300
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:14,271
-'Cause of how high you were?
-No, because she was a Medusa.
301
00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:19,929
If Purgatory's such
a hellhole now, why stay?
302
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:22,889
Wait... How'd you get around
the problem of the border?
303
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:25,717
What problem with the border?
304
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:27,894
Oh, did I not mention that?
305
00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:29,112
-Okay...
306
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:31,071
After all the demons
moth-to-a-flamed
307
00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:33,900
the Ghost River Triangle,
some government dickpickles
308
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:36,293
set up, like,
a quarantine around the place.
309
00:13:36,337 --> 00:13:37,947
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
so, people can't get out now?
310
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:40,645
Demons can't. Reg peeps can.
311
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:41,908
Good.
312
00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:43,518
Wait. Not criminals!
313
00:13:43,561 --> 00:13:45,650
There's no way in Herojuana
they'll let you out.
314
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:48,740
This is a Russian doll
of suckage.
315
00:13:48,784 --> 00:13:51,265
Inside an arbitrary border,
there's a hellmouth,
316
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:52,788
inside that is a demon
bush party,
317
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,442
inside that is a jail,
318
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:55,878
and inside that,
319
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,880
I'm at the mercy
of a Dukes of Hazzard reject
320
00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,926
who wouldn't know justice
if it splatowed him
321
00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:02,015
-in his butter sculpture face.
322
00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:03,930
Ms. Earp? You have a visitor.
323
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:04,669
Good.
324
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,498
Give me a heads up next time.
325
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:08,760
You were in the zone.
326
00:14:08,804 --> 00:14:10,675
My client has the right
to a trial.
327
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,721
Your sister will get one.
328
00:14:12,764 --> 00:14:13,896
That's the whole reason
I brought her in,
329
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,463
instead of letting the town
hang her.
330
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,814
I'm issuing a writ
of habeas corpus.
331
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:19,684
No!
332
00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:22,122
These dickpickles are gonna have
to show us a body.
333
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:24,689
That is literally
what habeas corpus means.
334
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,387
You two wanna let me know
when you're done slap-fighting
335
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:27,518
'cause I've got
a hell of a backlog.
336
00:14:27,562 --> 00:14:29,172
Oh, you've got a backlog?
337
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:32,393
Buddy, apparently I haven't
pooped in 18 months.
338
00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:33,742
I have a backlog.
339
00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:36,571
Motion to strike that
from the record.
340
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:38,399
Motion denied.
341
00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:40,444
Nice of you to join us,
Magistrate.
342
00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:42,446
-Mm-hmm.
-Magistrate?
343
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,710
The family member here
would like to register
344
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,364
a judicial complaint,
Your Honor.
345
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:48,583
Yeah, I don't do those.
346
00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:49,845
I just like the part
where I'm all judgy.
347
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:52,456
It's regarding the Earp case.
348
00:14:57,505 --> 00:14:58,288
That's her?
349
00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:00,334
That?
350
00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:02,771
That can hear you.
351
00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:05,121
Um, we need to manage
this one carefully.
352
00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:07,210
There was an incident downtown,
and...
353
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:09,865
-people are watching.
-Ooh, fun.
354
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,650
Uh, can we not refer
to the attempted execution
355
00:15:12,694 --> 00:15:14,522
of my client as fun?
356
00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:17,829
Can I speak to you
for a moment privately?
357
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:18,743
In my office?
358
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:21,877
Cute outfit.
359
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:27,709
: Is this our plan?
Is this our entire plan?
360
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:29,363
No, of course not.
361
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:31,234
Wynonna, we're gonna prove
you didn't kill Nedley.
362
00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:32,192
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
363
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:33,845
Doc's all over it.
364
00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:39,590
♪ Do you wanna go downtown
365
00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:44,595
Behave, bunnies.
366
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:45,466
Or don't.
367
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:50,427
What a dame.
368
00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:53,300
Do you want another
Brandy Alexander?
369
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,390
I wish I could offer
you something different,
370
00:15:56,433 --> 00:16:00,960
but my supply trucks
keep getting eaten by the woods.
371
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:04,964
And what with this county
technically dry these days...
372
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:09,751
Doc!
373
00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:12,841
What a relief it is
to see you.
374
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:15,539
And a letdown to smell you.
375
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:18,238
Well, careful now.
376
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:20,457
You will make
your bunnies jealous.
377
00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:21,981
They just love
when I serve them up
378
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,809
all that bloodsucker realness.
379
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:27,682
Who turned you? Was it Kate?
380
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,640
What? I'm not a vamp!
381
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:31,903
Realness means faking it.
382
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:34,210
God. Keep up!
383
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:36,865
Wait, so you are not
actually a demon?
384
00:16:36,908 --> 00:16:38,345
I just let them think
that I am,
385
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:40,608
because it's safer that way.
386
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:42,827
What does that tell you
about what this town has become?
387
00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:45,613
Please tell me
everyone's okay, Doc.
388
00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:48,746
Waverly is fine.
Wynonna is in jail.
389
00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:50,835
Frick. I was worried
about that.
390
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,446
What really happened
to Nedley?
391
00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:55,884
When Wynonna left him with me,
392
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:57,407
I tried my best to Meredith Grey
393
00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:59,192
that magnificent old bitch
back to health.
394
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:01,803
But eventually,
he did a runner on me.
395
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:02,847
Why?
396
00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:05,807
He was oozing. And he smelled.
397
00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:08,418
Like a teen boy's feet,
coated in blue cheese.
398
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:09,376
Worse than you!
399
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:12,074
You paint quite
a picture, Portia.
400
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,510
I tried my best.
401
00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:16,122
But this place was getting real.
402
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:17,993
And after a few days, he just...
403
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,170
he took off into the woods.
404
00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:22,519
Where the monsters are.
405
00:17:26,523 --> 00:17:28,569
You must come
and attest to that.
406
00:17:28,612 --> 00:17:30,571
Doc, this isn't the world
that you all left.
407
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,616
We must produce Nedley,
408
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,749
either alive or dead,
we must find him.
409
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:38,405
I can tell you where
the people-eater is,
410
00:17:39,406 --> 00:17:40,972
it's out at Grizzly Flats.
411
00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:42,800
Maybe you'll find something
to show them.
412
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,541
Doc, they say it's claws
are like if Wolverine
413
00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:46,065
impregnated a chainsaw.
414
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:48,676
Thank you, Mercedes.
415
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:56,205
Oh!
416
00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:58,468
Can we try a jailbreak?
417
00:17:58,512 --> 00:18:00,383
No! They've got a lot
of guys working for them,
418
00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:01,689
-whatever they are.
-Yeah.
419
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:03,212
-What if they're all demons?
-Exactly,
420
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:04,170
-and I don't have my...
421
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:07,564
...shiny thing that makes
with the peace.
422
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:09,044
-Shit.
-Ahem!
423
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,090
I have an announcement to make!
424
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:12,874
So!
425
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:18,401
-You think that our jails
426
00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:21,056
are too crowded,
and our courts are too slow?
427
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,754
Think there's nothing to do
in this lame-ass town?
428
00:18:23,798 --> 00:18:26,496
Think we need a little bit
more junk in our trunks?
429
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:29,020
-Is she asking me?
-And as always,
430
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:30,500
we aim to please,
431
00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:32,546
and we're here to fix
any problem
432
00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:35,331
you guys think
you might have. So...
433
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:38,813
lock up your daughters,
and lube up your saucepans!
434
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:42,599
All of our jailbirds
will be competing for one,
435
00:18:42,643 --> 00:18:45,124
yes, one,
get-out-of-jail-free card.
436
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,821
-In the first ever...
-What?
437
00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:50,433
...Randy Nedley Memorial
Chili Cook-off
438
00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:52,566
For Freedom! Yay!
439
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:58,093
Is... Is this real life?
440
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,008
Might be for you.
But I'm dead.
441
00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:12,499
Hope you're ready to stumble!
442
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:15,154
'Cause this tummy
is starting to grumble!
443
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:16,677
-: Woo!
444
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,984
She is Grade A,
USDA certifiable.
445
00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:21,377
Hey, just be glad
you weren't here
446
00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:24,815
for the Tops-Off-Dance-Off
For Freedom!
447
00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,208
Every month or so,
448
00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:28,645
the Magistrate manages
to out-whackadoo herself.
449
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:30,517
I don't get it.
What's her endgame?
450
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,389
Ugh, classic bread
and circuses, brah.
451
00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:35,783
Keep the populace fed
and entertained,
452
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:38,220
and you can get away
with all kinds of devilry.
453
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:40,483
Yup. Okay, your trash talk
is a little all over the place.
454
00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:43,138
Hey, they set people free
after these contests.
455
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,574
I've seen it.
456
00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:46,185
What if this is the only chance
for us to get out?
457
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:49,057
Wynonna!
458
00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:50,537
Hi.
459
00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:52,321
Haught.
460
00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:57,761
Thanks for getting her home.
461
00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:59,850
I only did it for me.
462
00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:01,591
Like everything
you've ever done.
463
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:03,680
It's been a while.
464
00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:07,945
A long while, apparently.
465
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:10,165
-How you holding up?
-Peachy.
466
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,602
Hey. I brought a few things
from home.
467
00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:13,647
Is that against the rules?
468
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:14,996
Uh, I feel like the only rule
469
00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:16,563
is don't tell the Empress
she's got no clothes.
470
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:19,392
Well she's def
got no panties.
471
00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:23,004
What? She jumped up on a desk.
I couldn't help it.
472
00:20:23,047 --> 00:20:25,224
-Is she waxed?
473
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:26,964
-Fudge!
-And that's the first toot
474
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:30,359
of the Randy Nedley Memorial
Chili Cook-off For Freedom!
475
00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:32,492
With a lot more toots to follow.
476
00:20:32,535 --> 00:20:33,754
Now get cooking, left-swipes!
477
00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:37,279
-Cook!
-Do I put the cheese in first?
478
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:39,063
-Probably, right?
-Oh!
479
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:41,283
-Okay.
-Okay.
480
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:42,284
-Yup.
-Yup.
481
00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:43,111
We're on it. We're on it.
482
00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:19,495
Ohh...
483
00:21:21,149 --> 00:21:23,412
Oh, sweet honey-lamb.
484
00:21:41,909 --> 00:21:43,911
Come closer, now.
485
00:21:43,954 --> 00:21:46,479
It is time we met.
486
00:21:51,571 --> 00:21:53,355
Woo! You want a t-shirt?!
487
00:21:53,399 --> 00:21:54,269
You want a t-shirt?
488
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,489
And you get a t-shirt! Oh!
489
00:21:56,532 --> 00:21:58,229
In the nads!
490
00:21:58,273 --> 00:22:00,188
Now they're also XXL!
491
00:22:00,231 --> 00:22:01,581
Probably better
not to be Sheriff
492
00:22:01,624 --> 00:22:02,712
while she's got her hands
on that thing.
493
00:22:02,756 --> 00:22:03,887
Imagine the lawsuits?
494
00:22:05,411 --> 00:22:07,543
I never imagined
you giving up the star,
495
00:22:07,587 --> 00:22:09,197
power-hungry fiend that you are.
496
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,112
I didn't give up.
Cleo showed up,
497
00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:13,201
reincorporated the town,
made herself magistrate,
498
00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:16,160
-and elected her own Sheriff.
-So nobody stopped her?
499
00:22:16,204 --> 00:22:18,989
Who had time for politics?
I had Rachel, and the homestead,
500
00:22:19,033 --> 00:22:20,861
and people to look for.
501
00:22:20,904 --> 00:22:22,471
And I did look. Hard.
502
00:22:22,515 --> 00:22:24,038
Where'd you look?
Up Bunny Loblaw's--
503
00:22:24,081 --> 00:22:25,605
Don't come at me about it,
okay, Wynonna?
504
00:22:25,648 --> 00:22:26,867
I know I let everybody down.
505
00:22:28,042 --> 00:22:29,391
Nicole, I would never say--
506
00:22:29,435 --> 00:22:31,785
Are you two chatting?
I need those onions, stat!
507
00:22:31,828 --> 00:22:33,874
Yes, chef! Coming.
508
00:22:33,917 --> 00:22:36,572
Okay. Now,
for the pressed seitan.
509
00:22:36,616 --> 00:22:38,879
what?! Who's President Satan?
510
00:22:38,922 --> 00:22:41,708
No. Seitan.
As in vital wheat gluten.
511
00:22:41,751 --> 00:22:43,318
It's the secret
to a hearty vegan chili.
512
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,798
We're making vegan chili?!
513
00:22:44,841 --> 00:22:46,016
Baby, how's she supposed
to win anything
514
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:47,278
with vegan chili?!
515
00:22:50,194 --> 00:22:52,022
Not today, Satan!
516
00:22:53,197 --> 00:22:54,590
Afternoon, Ms. Haught.
517
00:22:54,634 --> 00:22:55,591
Sheriff Clayborn.
518
00:22:56,766 --> 00:22:58,115
Makes a change to see you
back in town.
519
00:22:58,159 --> 00:22:59,900
I hope that means
there's no hard feelings.
520
00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:02,381
About the election.
521
00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:04,252
I didn't have as much time
to campaign.
522
00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:07,516
Or your other
rumored advantages.
523
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:09,213
Nice you can afford
a break now, though.
524
00:23:10,214 --> 00:23:11,390
I mean, that is,
525
00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:13,348
if you feel the homestead
is safe with a...
526
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:14,958
teenage girl on the case.
527
00:23:16,569 --> 00:23:17,700
Good luck with the chili.
528
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,102
Aw, you have your little
worry wrinkle.
529
00:23:28,145 --> 00:23:31,148
There are things, Waverly.
Every night, in those traps.
530
00:23:31,192 --> 00:23:32,454
The monster really wants inside.
531
00:23:33,368 --> 00:23:34,500
You're worried about Rachel.
532
00:23:36,371 --> 00:23:37,720
Why don't you go home?
533
00:23:37,764 --> 00:23:39,505
You sure you don't mind?
534
00:23:39,548 --> 00:23:40,288
No.
535
00:23:49,558 --> 00:23:51,168
I'll give you 20 bucks
for half your bacon.
536
00:23:51,212 --> 00:23:52,996
You don't have 20 bucks.
537
00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:54,911
Wynonna!
538
00:23:59,612 --> 00:24:01,265
For Randy Nedley.
539
00:24:20,328 --> 00:24:21,372
Rachel?!
540
00:24:22,330 --> 00:24:25,115
-Valdez?!
-Nicole! I'm okay!
541
00:24:25,159 --> 00:24:27,161
Okay. You're okay?
542
00:24:27,204 --> 00:24:28,858
Don't make it more painful
by mommying me.
543
00:24:28,902 --> 00:24:30,294
What happened?
544
00:24:30,338 --> 00:24:32,209
I'm out re-baiting trap seven,
by the poplars,
545
00:24:32,253 --> 00:24:35,561
and you scared away the skunks
earlier, so I used kombucha.
546
00:24:35,604 --> 00:24:36,866
What? It kills
all kinds of things,
547
00:24:36,910 --> 00:24:39,390
you know, like intestinal
parasites, and...
548
00:24:39,434 --> 00:24:40,783
Ow, ow!
549
00:24:40,827 --> 00:24:42,393
So I'm filling up the trap,
550
00:24:42,437 --> 00:24:44,918
and it runs in,
you know, the big, crusty one.
551
00:24:44,961 --> 00:24:47,529
But then, you know
that old-timey cowboy dude?
552
00:24:47,573 --> 00:24:48,922
Daddy Blue Eyes?
553
00:24:48,965 --> 00:24:50,097
-Doc.
-Yeah!
554
00:24:50,140 --> 00:24:51,577
He's on the hill,
and he's yelling at it
555
00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:53,361
to come get him instead.
556
00:24:53,404 --> 00:24:55,363
-Did he kill it?
-No, but he shot it.
557
00:24:55,406 --> 00:24:58,018
Okay. You are coming inside.
558
00:24:58,061 --> 00:24:59,672
And that is my mommy voice.
559
00:25:02,718 --> 00:25:03,980
Oh, my God. It's edible.
Try it!
560
00:25:04,024 --> 00:25:05,765
You threw stolen beef
and a can of anchovies
561
00:25:05,808 --> 00:25:07,070
into my vegan masterpiece!
562
00:25:07,941 --> 00:25:08,898
Ahh!
563
00:25:08,942 --> 00:25:09,725
Damn.
564
00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:12,815
I'm gonna shove that thing
up her canned anchovies.
565
00:25:12,859 --> 00:25:14,861
Criminal, take it.
566
00:25:15,992 --> 00:25:16,732
And this.
567
00:25:18,038 --> 00:25:19,692
Criminal chiliheads!
568
00:25:19,735 --> 00:25:22,912
As you all know,
I excel at having opinions.
569
00:25:22,956 --> 00:25:24,871
And I was going to decide
today's winner
570
00:25:24,914 --> 00:25:26,350
all by my lonesome,
571
00:25:26,394 --> 00:25:27,917
but a little voice in my head
was like,
572
00:25:27,961 --> 00:25:30,441
don't be such a greedy
skank's toilet, Cleo!
573
00:25:30,485 --> 00:25:31,399
-Cleo?
-Toilet?
574
00:25:31,442 --> 00:25:33,488
So I asked the second...
575
00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:36,578
prettiest girl in all
of Purgatory
576
00:25:36,622 --> 00:25:38,058
to come help me out.
577
00:25:38,101 --> 00:25:41,104
So slap your bits together
for your Miss Kidney Bean:
578
00:25:41,148 --> 00:25:42,889
Chrissy Nedley!
579
00:25:51,332 --> 00:25:54,030
Oh... You weren't kidding.
580
00:25:54,074 --> 00:25:56,903
She really does think
you killed her dad.
581
00:25:56,946 --> 00:25:58,557
Yeah, I don't think
you're gonna win.
582
00:25:59,775 --> 00:26:01,777
I'm gonna turn out the lights
in case it's attracted to them.
583
00:26:05,651 --> 00:26:06,913
It's here.
584
00:26:10,177 --> 00:26:12,614
: Nicole! Let me in!
Let me in!
585
00:26:12,658 --> 00:26:14,660
: It's Dr. Mustache,
we have to save him!
586
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:16,879
: I'm going out front!
587
00:26:18,446 --> 00:26:19,621
It's gonna break the glass!
588
00:26:19,665 --> 00:26:21,144
: Open up!
589
00:26:21,188 --> 00:26:22,972
Nicole, you have
to let him in!
590
00:26:23,016 --> 00:26:24,713
-Nicole!
591
00:26:24,757 --> 00:26:26,497
-Nicole!
592
00:26:28,674 --> 00:26:29,892
Wake up!
593
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,636
-: Please!
594
00:26:36,986 --> 00:26:38,379
That felt like it took forever.
595
00:26:38,422 --> 00:26:40,294
-Yeah, I bet.
-Move!
596
00:26:50,652 --> 00:26:53,307
You carried a bottle
the whole time you were running?
597
00:26:53,350 --> 00:26:55,135
-You are goals.
-No, he is not goals,
598
00:26:55,178 --> 00:26:57,659
-he needs water.
-Or maybe he needs...
599
00:26:57,703 --> 00:26:59,661
: Don't say kombucha.
600
00:26:59,705 --> 00:27:01,576
Thanks for distracting
the crusty booger beast.
601
00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:03,665
-Right, Haught?
-Yeah. Thanks, Doc.
602
00:27:03,709 --> 00:27:05,885
Do not let me set here
for more than ten minutes.
603
00:27:05,928 --> 00:27:07,626
I am fixing to return
to the woods.
604
00:27:07,669 --> 00:27:09,366
-For what?
-To complete the job.
605
00:27:09,410 --> 00:27:12,456
-That is a host animal.
-For the little puffballs!
606
00:27:12,500 --> 00:27:14,284
I saw it leaking
from the wound.
607
00:27:14,328 --> 00:27:16,547
I believe it has slowed
a little.
608
00:27:16,591 --> 00:27:17,940
Then it's time we strike back.
609
00:27:19,463 --> 00:27:21,422
-It might be okay.
610
00:27:22,379 --> 00:27:23,685
-I'll never get used to that.
-So...
611
00:27:23,729 --> 00:27:25,818
Clearly some of you
didn't want it bad enough.
612
00:27:25,861 --> 00:27:27,428
Seriously, four of those chilis
613
00:27:27,471 --> 00:27:28,995
was just hot diarrhea
with beans.
614
00:27:29,038 --> 00:27:30,692
-Certainly mine.
-Ew.
615
00:27:30,736 --> 00:27:32,955
So, thank you for attending
616
00:27:32,999 --> 00:27:35,654
the first Randy Nedley
Memorial Chili Cook-off.
617
00:27:35,697 --> 00:27:37,351
If you leave off
the "For Freedom", so help me,
618
00:27:37,394 --> 00:27:39,788
I will treat you to an actual
bowl of hot diarrhea.
619
00:27:39,832 --> 00:27:40,659
For Freedom!
620
00:27:42,269 --> 00:27:44,227
My father had a complicated
relationship with this cook-off.
621
00:27:44,271 --> 00:27:46,273
If he were here today,
he would say--
622
00:27:46,316 --> 00:27:48,318
God, no one cares, Pissy,
who won?!
623
00:27:49,929 --> 00:27:52,105
And today's winner
of our get out-of-jail-free card
624
00:27:52,148 --> 00:27:53,367
goes to...
625
00:27:53,410 --> 00:27:54,890
Please, please,
please, please.
626
00:27:54,934 --> 00:27:57,197
Wynonna Earp!
627
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,286
-What?
628
00:28:04,770 --> 00:28:08,382
Winner, winner,
chili dinner! I win!
629
00:28:08,425 --> 00:28:10,558
-Glad it was you, Cell-y!
-Listen, you can have the rest
630
00:28:10,601 --> 00:28:12,342
-of my chili if you want.
-Ah, I'm good.
631
00:28:14,301 --> 00:28:15,215
What?
632
00:28:15,258 --> 00:28:16,390
Ah...
633
00:28:17,783 --> 00:28:19,654
-No way, right?
-Okay!
634
00:28:20,742 --> 00:28:21,612
Bye!
635
00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:25,442
-Pound it. No? No?
636
00:28:25,486 --> 00:28:27,575
It tastes
like peppermint butt.
637
00:28:27,618 --> 00:28:29,403
-Hey, hey!
-So why?
638
00:28:29,446 --> 00:28:31,535
Unhand your Chili Queen!
639
00:28:33,668 --> 00:28:34,582
That's why.
640
00:28:36,671 --> 00:28:38,760
Where are those keys?
641
00:28:39,674 --> 00:28:41,154
To my new car?
642
00:28:41,197 --> 00:28:43,460
Wow, this contest
has everything!
643
00:28:43,504 --> 00:28:45,854
Holt, or Sheriff Clayborn,
644
00:28:45,898 --> 00:28:47,769
doesn't like it when I drive
department vehicles,
645
00:28:47,813 --> 00:28:49,989
but he can have
a big old gag of my gavel.
646
00:28:50,032 --> 00:28:52,469
Did you forget
the "freedom" part?
647
00:28:52,513 --> 00:28:54,210
Yeah, not 'til you get
to the border.
648
00:28:54,254 --> 00:28:55,690
-I'm not leaving town.
-Don't worry,
649
00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:56,865
I can get you out.
650
00:28:56,909 --> 00:28:58,475
-I know people.
-No, I mean, I won't.
651
00:28:58,519 --> 00:29:00,086
Do you know how many
Purgatorians
652
00:29:00,129 --> 00:29:02,131
would have murdered
for this prize?
653
00:29:02,175 --> 00:29:04,307
Oh, weird...
654
00:29:04,351 --> 00:29:06,309
I just realized that that's
exactly what you did!
655
00:29:09,138 --> 00:29:10,749
You acted like you knew
who I was.
656
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,273
When we first met.
657
00:29:13,316 --> 00:29:14,535
But you're not a Revenant.
658
00:29:15,928 --> 00:29:18,191
And if you were really powerful,
you'd just kill me.
659
00:29:21,498 --> 00:29:22,325
Yay!
660
00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:24,850
Keys!
661
00:29:24,893 --> 00:29:26,329
I wish I knew
what we were up against,
662
00:29:26,373 --> 00:29:28,810
so we could prep a silver
bullet or a wooden stake.
663
00:29:28,854 --> 00:29:30,638
-Sorry, Doc.
-Understood.
664
00:29:30,681 --> 00:29:32,771
Okay, don't yell at me,
but...
665
00:29:32,814 --> 00:29:34,860
the creature did make
a Chewbacca howl
666
00:29:34,903 --> 00:29:36,470
when it stepped in the puddle
of kombucha.
667
00:29:36,513 --> 00:29:38,298
For the last time,
home brewed mold juice
668
00:29:38,341 --> 00:29:39,603
will not defeat pure evil.
669
00:29:39,647 --> 00:29:41,780
It smelled like pure evil.
670
00:29:41,823 --> 00:29:45,087
When it was leaking?
Like blue cheese and boy feet.
671
00:29:45,131 --> 00:29:47,133
Did you hear someone say that?
672
00:29:47,176 --> 00:29:49,570
It dealt it.
I simply smelt it.
673
00:29:49,613 --> 00:29:52,399
Look, I am not suggesting
we refrain from hunting it...
674
00:29:52,442 --> 00:29:53,966
Like hell I would.
675
00:29:54,009 --> 00:29:55,663
...but I looked into its eyes
and I'm remain unconvinced
676
00:29:55,706 --> 00:29:57,056
it is our enemy.
677
00:29:57,099 --> 00:29:59,014
This thing wants to take
Waverly's home,
678
00:29:59,058 --> 00:30:01,190
and our ability
to think of anything else.
679
00:30:02,278 --> 00:30:03,584
I found this in the trap,
680
00:30:03,627 --> 00:30:05,064
Last year when you guys were...
681
00:30:05,107 --> 00:30:06,500
Gone for too long.
682
00:30:07,893 --> 00:30:09,024
At first I thought
it was irrelevant,
683
00:30:09,068 --> 00:30:09,895
but then I figured it out.
684
00:30:11,592 --> 00:30:12,854
It's a Hawaiian shirt, Doc.
685
00:30:12,898 --> 00:30:15,248
It's... It's Nedley's shirt.
686
00:30:17,250 --> 00:30:18,686
That thing killed him,
687
00:30:18,729 --> 00:30:19,948
and now we need to kill it.
688
00:30:21,254 --> 00:30:23,343
The ballpuffers are parasites,
689
00:30:23,386 --> 00:30:25,649
and they took over something.
690
00:30:25,693 --> 00:30:26,737
Someone.
691
00:30:28,087 --> 00:30:31,481
Someone that always comes back
to you, Nicole.
692
00:30:31,525 --> 00:30:32,221
No.
693
00:30:33,266 --> 00:30:35,398
What if the ogre
didn't eat Nedley?
694
00:30:35,442 --> 00:30:37,836
-What if the ogre...
-...is Nedley?
695
00:30:42,144 --> 00:30:44,190
People will find out...
696
00:30:44,233 --> 00:30:47,367
about the contest, about you
not keeping your word.
697
00:30:47,410 --> 00:30:49,369
One, how are they gonna
find out?
698
00:30:50,413 --> 00:30:53,982
And two, what does an Earp know
about keeping their word, huh?
699
00:30:54,026 --> 00:30:55,984
That is priceless.
700
00:30:56,028 --> 00:30:57,116
You are hilare.
701
00:30:57,159 --> 00:30:58,639
So this is personal.
702
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:09,389
No.
703
00:31:09,432 --> 00:31:10,303
See this...
704
00:31:11,478 --> 00:31:14,089
This is hereditary,
daughter of Earps.
705
00:31:17,963 --> 00:31:19,660
Besides, we have to keep
706
00:31:19,703 --> 00:31:22,097
feeding something
to this monster,
707
00:31:22,141 --> 00:31:25,057
whatever it is,
to keep it out of town.
708
00:31:25,100 --> 00:31:26,580
See, Sheriff Holt and I?
709
00:31:26,623 --> 00:31:28,538
We know what it takes
710
00:31:28,582 --> 00:31:30,236
to get dirty jobs done.
711
00:31:31,498 --> 00:31:33,326
And if that dirty job...
712
00:31:35,371 --> 00:31:37,069
happens to be you?
713
00:31:38,766 --> 00:31:40,507
Bonus.
714
00:31:40,550 --> 00:31:42,465
-Now scream.
-Argh!
715
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,468
: Eat my vegan seitan.
716
00:31:45,512 --> 00:31:48,080
See, they lied.
717
00:31:48,123 --> 00:31:49,211
You're not even fun.
718
00:31:53,868 --> 00:31:56,088
Beastie boy!
719
00:31:56,131 --> 00:31:57,698
Come and get it!
720
00:32:01,571 --> 00:32:02,616
Where are you going?
721
00:32:02,659 --> 00:32:04,879
Oh, to sit in my car.
722
00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,402
Take a few pics!
723
00:32:06,446 --> 00:32:08,970
Maybe buff my muff,
if the mood strikes.
724
00:32:09,884 --> 00:32:11,059
You are so weird.
725
00:32:14,454 --> 00:32:15,716
Previews are over.
726
00:32:15,759 --> 00:32:17,457
Looks like the creature feature
is starting.
727
00:32:17,500 --> 00:32:19,241
Get away from her,
skank toilet!
728
00:32:19,285 --> 00:32:20,634
Ahh!
729
00:32:20,677 --> 00:32:21,983
For the record, I don't
believe in skank shaming,
730
00:32:22,027 --> 00:32:22,853
but you said it first.
731
00:32:26,727 --> 00:32:27,989
Sis, you okay?
732
00:32:28,033 --> 00:32:29,773
We need a knife or scissors.
733
00:32:29,817 --> 00:32:31,384
I have... teeth?
734
00:32:32,385 --> 00:32:34,039
Ugh! She's got a weapon!
735
00:32:35,257 --> 00:32:37,129
Friggin' skanks always do.
736
00:32:37,172 --> 00:32:38,652
Wait, I gotta stop saying that.
737
00:32:38,695 --> 00:32:39,609
Okay, stay there!
738
00:32:45,398 --> 00:32:47,791
No, no, no!
739
00:33:01,544 --> 00:33:02,850
Waverly!
740
00:33:05,026 --> 00:33:06,201
Waverly!
741
00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:09,335
-Hold your fire!
-It's Nedley!
742
00:33:12,599 --> 00:33:13,730
Doc, flank him on the back!
743
00:33:13,774 --> 00:33:15,167
Waverly, find your position!
744
00:33:44,761 --> 00:33:49,636
♪ I used to take
on the world on my own ♪
745
00:33:49,679 --> 00:33:52,813
♪ Thought I was so strong
746
00:33:56,686 --> 00:33:59,037
♪ As long as I'm here
747
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,691
♪ By your side
748
00:34:01,735 --> 00:34:04,781
♪ Ten times as strong together
749
00:34:04,825 --> 00:34:07,784
♪ We're amplified
750
00:34:11,484 --> 00:34:12,180
Idiots.
751
00:34:18,578 --> 00:34:21,842
♪ And I'm here by your side
752
00:34:28,979 --> 00:34:29,676
Wynonna?
753
00:34:30,807 --> 00:34:32,157
What did I do?
754
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,246
You survived, Nedley.
755
00:34:34,289 --> 00:34:35,595
That's what you did.
756
00:34:35,638 --> 00:34:36,770
You made it home.
757
00:34:39,990 --> 00:34:40,861
Fuck yeah.
758
00:34:46,867 --> 00:34:49,522
Nedley, I'm not coming
any closer
759
00:34:49,565 --> 00:34:50,871
until you put this on.
760
00:34:52,829 --> 00:34:54,135
There's been enough crime today.
761
00:34:56,006 --> 00:34:56,746
Hey.
762
00:35:00,272 --> 00:35:01,751
-Nicole, what's going on?
-I...
763
00:35:03,144 --> 00:35:05,277
You were not in possession
of your own faculties.
764
00:35:08,193 --> 00:35:09,498
Why do I taste skunk?
765
00:35:09,542 --> 00:35:11,065
That may be me.
766
00:35:13,023 --> 00:35:14,460
That's some intense, brother.
767
00:35:31,564 --> 00:35:32,565
-Dad.
-Chrissy!
768
00:35:32,608 --> 00:35:34,436
Oh, my God. Dad!
769
00:35:35,524 --> 00:35:38,353
-Shh, shh.
770
00:35:42,444 --> 00:35:44,098
They told me you were dead.
771
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:48,146
This stubborn mule? Not yet.
772
00:35:49,843 --> 00:35:52,367
Where were you? What happened?
773
00:35:52,411 --> 00:35:54,064
I really don't remember.
774
00:35:54,108 --> 00:35:57,024
-Ah, might be for the best.
-Might be?
775
00:35:57,067 --> 00:35:59,374
Look, um, we think
he'll be fine.
776
00:35:59,418 --> 00:36:01,898
But just for fun, maybe keep him
away from small game.
777
00:36:05,554 --> 00:36:07,774
Wynonna. I don't even
know what to say.
778
00:36:07,817 --> 00:36:08,514
: I know.
779
00:36:09,645 --> 00:36:11,647
It's just,
since the evacuation, I...
780
00:36:11,691 --> 00:36:14,520
this place...
it got to me and I...
781
00:36:14,563 --> 00:36:16,696
Needed us and got hurt
when we weren't here?
782
00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:21,135
-Yeah.
-It won't happen again.
783
00:36:24,530 --> 00:36:25,487
Hey, you.
784
00:36:30,362 --> 00:36:31,450
It's good to have you back.
785
00:36:41,634 --> 00:36:42,417
Nicole.
786
00:36:44,158 --> 00:36:45,507
You should get Chrissy
out of here.
787
00:36:45,551 --> 00:36:46,334
While you still can.
788
00:36:58,738 --> 00:37:00,609
You did the chili cook-off
without me?
789
00:37:02,002 --> 00:37:02,872
Dad...
790
00:37:09,270 --> 00:37:12,099
Here I thought all my flirting
was getting me nowhere.
791
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:15,842
There is more
where that came from.
792
00:37:15,885 --> 00:37:18,932
That would get my slacks off
in a snap.
793
00:37:18,975 --> 00:37:20,542
'Cause that would be
a challenge.
794
00:37:21,717 --> 00:37:23,545
I paid for that truck,
and its contents,
795
00:37:23,589 --> 00:37:25,068
and I'll be french-fried
796
00:37:25,112 --> 00:37:27,854
if you're going to sell my own
property back to me.
797
00:37:27,897 --> 00:37:30,857
Except I know where it is
and you do not.
798
00:37:30,900 --> 00:37:33,033
But I suppose I could sell
said contents
799
00:37:33,076 --> 00:37:35,383
to the human bar in town...
800
00:37:35,427 --> 00:37:37,255
Let's not get off
on the wrong foot.
801
00:37:39,082 --> 00:37:41,171
I also suggest
that you acquire
802
00:37:41,215 --> 00:37:43,739
protection for your next order
and that would be,
803
00:37:44,740 --> 00:37:46,525
well, yours truly.
804
00:37:46,568 --> 00:37:48,701
An experienced hand
with local knowledge,
805
00:37:48,744 --> 00:37:52,966
who can then safely convey
said truck right to your...
806
00:37:53,836 --> 00:37:54,837
back door.
807
00:37:56,361 --> 00:37:58,014
What would you require
in return?
808
00:37:59,538 --> 00:38:02,497
Something to quench
that vampiric appetite?
809
00:38:03,716 --> 00:38:05,979
When was the last time you fed?
810
00:38:06,022 --> 00:38:07,502
My hunger...
811
00:38:07,546 --> 00:38:08,851
is none of your concern.
812
00:38:08,895 --> 00:38:12,855
What I require
is something more... tangible.
813
00:38:12,899 --> 00:38:13,900
A future favor.
814
00:38:15,162 --> 00:38:16,424
And two thousand a load.
815
00:38:17,817 --> 00:38:19,558
That's highway robbery.
816
00:38:19,601 --> 00:38:21,734
Precisely.
And at a reasonable cost.
817
00:38:21,777 --> 00:38:24,824
But I assure you,
I am the best.
818
00:38:25,825 --> 00:38:26,826
Mm-hmm...
819
00:38:35,356 --> 00:38:36,792
You smell like heaven.
820
00:38:36,836 --> 00:38:38,054
I know.
821
00:38:47,237 --> 00:38:52,852
♪ If you could love
me completely ♪
822
00:38:54,941 --> 00:38:59,772
♪ If you could show me
a sign ♪
823
00:39:02,427 --> 00:39:05,995
Having trouble remembering
where you like these lips.
824
00:39:06,039 --> 00:39:07,780
You seem to be figuring
it out.
825
00:39:10,173 --> 00:39:12,219
You know, the garden tried
to fool me.
826
00:39:13,829 --> 00:39:15,048
With a fake you.
827
00:39:16,223 --> 00:39:17,137
You didn't...
828
00:39:17,180 --> 00:39:19,226
No. Not even close.
829
00:39:20,488 --> 00:39:22,403
But I would've known
in a second.
830
00:39:23,970 --> 00:39:25,319
I know every curve...
831
00:39:27,147 --> 00:39:28,366
every sigh...
832
00:39:30,019 --> 00:39:31,369
every taste...
833
00:39:37,026 --> 00:39:39,377
Wynonna, her midnight snack,
and the pantry door.
834
00:39:40,639 --> 00:39:42,380
She never met a thing
she couldn't slam.
835
00:39:45,295 --> 00:39:46,819
Yeah. I guess I'd forgotten.
836
00:39:48,777 --> 00:39:50,039
I love you, Nicole Haught.
837
00:39:51,563 --> 00:39:53,521
And I can't wait for the rest
of our lives to unfold.
838
00:39:58,918 --> 00:40:00,746
Can you tell me about
your year and a half?
839
00:40:03,270 --> 00:40:05,664
I'm sorry,
I'm just... distracted.
840
00:40:05,707 --> 00:40:07,666
I gotta go check those traps.
841
00:40:07,709 --> 00:40:08,406
Oh.
842
00:40:09,363 --> 00:40:11,757
Yeah. Okay. Uh...
843
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:12,671
Can I come with you?
844
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:15,717
Always.
845
00:40:29,078 --> 00:40:31,864
-Expected date of return?
-Never.
846
00:40:31,907 --> 00:40:34,606
My Dad's birthday is in August.
Might surprise him.
847
00:40:34,649 --> 00:40:36,042
I have to get my supervisor.
848
00:40:47,401 --> 00:40:48,358
: You're cleared to go.
849
00:40:52,058 --> 00:40:52,885
: They're back.
850
00:41:07,856 --> 00:41:10,555
I'll move out to the barn,
now that everyone's back.
851
00:41:11,860 --> 00:41:13,471
-Which is good.
-Take the bed.
852
00:41:14,428 --> 00:41:15,473
You've earned it, kid.
853
00:41:16,430 --> 00:41:17,170
Besides...
854
00:41:18,824 --> 00:41:19,912
I'm better in the cold.
855
00:41:21,870 --> 00:41:23,829
Okay, Jon Snow in a B cup.
856
00:41:24,873 --> 00:41:26,571
And I'm not a kid, Wynonna.
857
00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:30,488
Why'd you leave Monument?
858
00:41:32,402 --> 00:41:34,317
When you're a person
who's gone through some stuff,
859
00:41:35,362 --> 00:41:36,929
and you see somebody else,
who's a good person,
860
00:41:36,972 --> 00:41:38,626
also going through some stuff...
861
00:41:40,323 --> 00:41:41,499
How bad is Nicole?
862
00:41:42,891 --> 00:41:45,764
She was alone
for a really long time.
863
00:41:48,984 --> 00:41:50,508
Well, thanks for taking care
of my friend,
864
00:41:50,551 --> 00:41:51,683
Rachel Valdez.
865
00:41:53,075 --> 00:41:56,078
Thank you for noticing,
Wynonna Earp.
866
00:41:56,122 --> 00:41:57,689
Oh, the Earp heir.
867
00:42:04,913 --> 00:42:06,393
Listen. My bed, yeah.
868
00:42:06,436 --> 00:42:09,091
My leather pants, no.
869
00:42:09,135 --> 00:42:10,745
Pfft, please.
870
00:42:10,789 --> 00:42:12,747
I wouldn't be seen wearing these
in front of the skunks I milk.
871
00:42:15,228 --> 00:42:17,491
Your fringed leather jacket,
though...
872
00:42:19,493 --> 00:42:21,234
Don't push your luck,
Smalldez.
873
00:42:22,975 --> 00:42:24,542
-Good night.
-Good night, Wynonna.
874
00:42:33,202 --> 00:42:35,553
-Hello, chaps!
-Hands up.
875
00:42:36,554 --> 00:42:38,643
Like I said:
so good to be home.
60640
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