Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:44,220 --> 00:00:46,597
This is nothing less
than 'Zeno's paradox.'
2
00:00:48,099 --> 00:00:52,688
You are Achilles
and the tortoise is the orgasm.
3
00:00:52,854 --> 00:00:55,691
- Come on.
- No, no, no. Listen.
4
00:00:55,857 --> 00:00:57,651
Achilles and the tortoise
are going to race,
5
00:00:57,818 --> 00:00:59,903
and Achilles is confident,
6
00:01:00,070 --> 00:01:04,032
so he gives the tortoise
a hundred meters head start.
7
00:01:04,199 --> 00:01:07,160
Now the mathematical problem is that
8
00:01:07,327 --> 00:01:09,788
before Achilles
can pass the tortoise,
9
00:01:09,955 --> 00:01:11,163
he has to reach the point
10
00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:14,917
where the tortoise started
after a hundred meters.
11
00:01:15,084 --> 00:01:18,337
But when Achilles gets there,
the tortoise has already moved on,
12
00:01:18,504 --> 00:01:20,506
and then he has
to reach the next point,
13
00:01:20,673 --> 00:01:22,132
and the tortoise has moved on again
14
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:25,052
and so on and so on and so on.
15
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:28,473
So Achilles can never reach
the tortoise and never pass him.
16
00:01:28,639 --> 00:01:32,810
And in the same way,
because you were giving chase,
17
00:01:32,977 --> 00:01:35,855
you couldn't reach satisfaction.
That's the paradox.
18
00:01:36,021 --> 00:01:39,359
I'm sorry, but it seems as if you're
not taking this very seriously.
19
00:01:39,525 --> 00:01:42,445
I'm telling you about the worst
thing that's happened to me,
20
00:01:42,612 --> 00:01:47,825
that I at that point, within seconds,
lost all sexual sensation.
21
00:01:47,992 --> 00:01:50,245
My cunt simply went numb.
22
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,497
And immediately we have to hear about
23
00:01:52,663 --> 00:01:55,125
this ridiculous mathematical problem.
24
00:01:55,291 --> 00:01:59,795
In fact, I'm in doubt
whether you're even listening.
25
00:01:59,962 --> 00:02:02,339
Why do you doubt that?
26
00:02:05,509 --> 00:02:08,762
This is not a story I've told
in its entirety before,
27
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:13,392
but whenever I've told other men
about experiences,
28
00:02:13,558 --> 00:02:16,603
episodes in my sex life,
29
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:19,899
it was easy to see
that they became quite excited.
30
00:02:20,065 --> 00:02:22,609
I got excited.
31
00:02:22,777 --> 00:02:26,071
Yes, about the mathematical crap,
not about the story.
32
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:37,792
What kind of a person
are you, actually?
33
00:02:46,216 --> 00:02:48,302
You wouldn't know.
34
00:02:54,432 --> 00:02:56,017
No, but I can guess.
35
00:02:59,688 --> 00:03:02,525
Why didn't I get that earlier?
36
00:03:02,692 --> 00:03:07,738
The fact you don't get excited
over my dirty stories
37
00:03:07,905 --> 00:03:09,949
is because you can't relate to them.
38
00:03:12,368 --> 00:03:14,912
You've never been with a woman.
39
00:03:26,549 --> 00:03:30,178
That's quite accurate.
40
00:03:30,345 --> 00:03:32,680
Not with a man, either.
41
00:03:41,147 --> 00:03:43,483
Are you sorry about that?
42
00:03:48,112 --> 00:03:53,617
Well, yeah, out of curiosity...
43
00:03:54,910 --> 00:03:58,247
not out of lust, as you would think.
44
00:04:04,003 --> 00:04:08,966
I consider myself asexual.
45
00:04:09,133 --> 00:04:13,888
Of course, I experimented with
masturbation when I was a teenager,
46
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:18,308
but it didn't do much for me.
47
00:04:20,770 --> 00:04:24,481
So, there's nothing sexual about me.
48
00:04:30,112 --> 00:04:32,907
It's not as uncommon
as you would think.
49
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:37,786
And of course, I've read a lot
about sexual subjects...
50
00:04:37,952 --> 00:04:43,124
'Canterbury Tales', ' Decameron',
'Thousand and One Nights'.
51
00:04:43,291 --> 00:04:47,128
You name it and I've read it
with great interest
52
00:04:47,295 --> 00:04:49,673
and enjoyment,
53
00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:52,551
but only literary enjoyment.
54
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,971
But... but I think maybe it makes me
55
00:04:57,138 --> 00:04:59,808
a better listener
to your story, and...
56
00:04:59,974 --> 00:05:06,690
I have no preconceived notions
or preferences.
57
00:05:06,856 --> 00:05:10,444
I'm actually the best judge
you could give your story to.
58
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:13,655
And when it comes to deciding whether
you're a bad human being or not,
59
00:05:13,822 --> 00:05:17,033
I'm... I've no problems with that.
60
00:05:17,201 --> 00:05:20,204
Because I don't look at you
through the glasses
61
00:05:20,370 --> 00:05:24,541
colored by sexuality
or sexual experience.
62
00:05:26,668 --> 00:05:28,794
I'm a virgin.
63
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:32,590
I'm innocent.
64
00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:55,446
She's looking at me.
65
00:05:55,613 --> 00:05:58,491
Yes.
66
00:05:58,657 --> 00:06:02,453
It's an icon. Is it Russian?
67
00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:03,955
Yes, it's...
68
00:06:04,122 --> 00:06:09,168
It's a skilled copy,
maybe in the manner of Rublev.
69
00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:17,969
Icons are usually connected
to the Eastern Church.
70
00:06:18,136 --> 00:06:19,345
The Eastern Church?
71
00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:23,098
I might become a bit theoretical.
72
00:06:24,642 --> 00:06:29,354
You may. I'd like you to tell me
about your picture.
73
00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:34,443
Although the Christian church
was split up in 1054
74
00:06:34,652 --> 00:06:35,986
because of differences in opinion
75
00:06:36,153 --> 00:06:38,906
between the Eastern Church
and the Western Church,
76
00:06:39,072 --> 00:06:45,288
what we today call the Orthodox Church
and the Roman Catholic Church,
77
00:06:45,454 --> 00:06:49,082
this is a typical Eastern Church icon.
78
00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:52,253
It usually depicts the Virgin Mary
79
00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:54,422
and the infant Jesus and more rarely,
80
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:56,382
for instance, the crucifixion,
81
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:59,677
which in the Western Church
was much more prevalent.
82
00:06:59,843 --> 00:07:03,306
If you generalize, you could say
that the Western Church
83
00:07:03,472 --> 00:07:05,058
is the church of suffering,
84
00:07:05,224 --> 00:07:08,894
and the Eastern Church
is the church of happiness.
85
00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:14,316
Why is she looking right at me?
86
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:17,569
Well, she's telling a story.
87
00:07:17,735 --> 00:07:19,362
Icons were originally a kind of
88
00:07:19,529 --> 00:07:22,490
pictorial Bibles for the illiterate.
89
00:07:22,657 --> 00:07:24,701
There are some who say you...
90
00:07:24,868 --> 00:07:28,413
you read an icon, even write it.
91
00:07:30,457 --> 00:07:35,171
There are different types of icons.
This is a Hodegetria.
92
00:07:35,338 --> 00:07:37,673
The directions are very important.
93
00:07:37,841 --> 00:07:42,095
She's looking at you, but she's
pointing at the baby Jesus.
94
00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:45,264
And he's looking at you
and pointing at her.
95
00:07:46,474 --> 00:07:51,605
Do you see how flat it is?
There's no... no perspective.
96
00:07:53,522 --> 00:07:56,693
It's because it's an image of eternity.
97
00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:00,530
And eternity isn't in 3-D.
98
00:08:01,573 --> 00:08:05,618
But you said the Eastern Church
was the church of joy?
99
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:09,246
Yeah, the sanctities
of the Eastern Church
100
00:08:09,412 --> 00:08:11,874
were all about the joy of faith
101
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:15,919
while the Western Church wallowed
in... in suffering and death.
102
00:08:16,086 --> 00:08:20,466
If you imagine a... a mental
journey from Rome eastward,
103
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:24,261
you feel how you move away
from guilt and pain
104
00:08:24,428 --> 00:08:25,929
towards joy and light.
105
00:08:26,096 --> 00:08:28,766
But you say
you didn't believe in God.
106
00:08:28,932 --> 00:08:34,188
No, but the concept of religion
is interesting.
107
00:08:34,355 --> 00:08:37,525
Like the concept of sex.
108
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,527
But you won't find me on my knees
109
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:42,113
with regards to either.
110
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:46,325
Let's call this chapter,
111
00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:49,370
'The Eastern Church
and the Western Church.'
112
00:08:49,537 --> 00:08:51,164
But it won't be...
113
00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:54,583
it won't be a story about
traveling east from Rome
114
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:58,003
towards the light,
but rather the opposite.
115
00:08:58,170 --> 00:09:01,589
So, in order not to make it too sad,
116
00:09:01,756 --> 00:09:05,093
I've pepped up the name of
the chapter with an extra title.
117
00:09:11,433 --> 00:09:13,393
I have to go back a bit.
118
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:18,148
I was 12 years old and
on a school trip in the hills.
119
00:11:57,389 --> 00:12:00,351
- Are you making fun of me?
- What do you mean?
120
00:12:00,517 --> 00:12:02,353
You have this orgasm,
not only an orgasm
121
00:12:02,519 --> 00:12:05,815
- but a spontaneous orgasm.
- Yes, it was an orgasm,
122
00:12:05,982 --> 00:12:10,027
though the doctor described it
as an epileptic seizure.
123
00:12:10,195 --> 00:12:13,490
And during that orgasm,
you had this vision?
124
00:12:13,656 --> 00:12:17,452
Of these two women
on each side of you.
125
00:12:17,619 --> 00:12:21,039
The woman on my right side
seemed to be dressed
126
00:12:21,206 --> 00:12:23,374
in purple and scarlet
127
00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:26,543
with a lot of gold and pearls.
128
00:12:27,586 --> 00:12:30,714
She was carrying a golden goblet
in her hand.
129
00:12:30,881 --> 00:12:36,137
She was sitting
on some strange animal.
130
00:12:36,303 --> 00:12:41,017
And then the other woman
was dressed in Roman clothes,
131
00:12:41,183 --> 00:12:42,977
a baby on her arm
132
00:12:43,144 --> 00:12:48,024
and her hair lay in tight waves
beneath a veil.
133
00:12:51,610 --> 00:12:54,989
Was she holding the veil
with two fingers like this?
134
00:12:56,073 --> 00:12:57,324
And the other woman,
135
00:12:57,491 --> 00:13:02,121
was she sitting on an animal
with seven heads and ten horns?
136
00:13:02,288 --> 00:13:06,793
The animal only had one head.
It was kind of a bull.
137
00:13:11,213 --> 00:13:13,715
What's the matter?
138
00:13:15,341 --> 00:13:16,843
You're making this up.
139
00:13:17,010 --> 00:13:20,431
No, I'm not. I'm telling you
about my first orgasm,
140
00:13:20,597 --> 00:13:23,058
which came upon me
without the slightest touch
141
00:13:23,224 --> 00:13:26,812
in some strange ways
up in the mountains.
142
00:13:26,978 --> 00:13:29,606
I never had achieved
an orgasm before,
143
00:13:29,773 --> 00:13:30,857
even though I masturbated
144
00:13:31,066 --> 00:13:33,985
as if my life depended on it
during that time.
145
00:13:38,282 --> 00:13:43,412
Your story is like a...
blasphemous retelling
146
00:13:43,579 --> 00:13:47,583
of the Transfiguration
of Jesus on the Mount,
147
00:13:47,749 --> 00:13:52,713
which is one of the Eastern Church's
holiest passages.
148
00:13:52,879 --> 00:13:56,342
It's when the humanity of Christ
is illuminated
149
00:13:56,508 --> 00:13:58,885
by the divine light of eternity.
150
00:13:59,052 --> 00:14:02,889
Jesus, Peter and two disciples
had climbed a mountain.
151
00:14:03,057 --> 00:14:05,350
And suddenly,
the disciples see this light
152
00:14:05,516 --> 00:14:07,893
emanating from Jesus' head.
153
00:14:08,019 --> 00:14:10,771
And Moses and Elijah
appear by his side.
154
00:14:10,938 --> 00:14:15,485
And they hear the voice of God,
calling him his son.
155
00:14:15,651 --> 00:14:20,823
The relationship between...
between the two women and you
156
00:14:20,991 --> 00:14:23,368
would be the same as the relation
157
00:14:23,534 --> 00:14:28,039
between Moses and Elijah and Jesus.
158
00:14:28,206 --> 00:14:30,834
And that's where
it becomes blasphemous.
159
00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:33,837
I see.
160
00:14:34,004 --> 00:14:35,421
You don't even...
161
00:14:35,588 --> 00:14:38,466
you don't even know who
these women were, do you?
162
00:14:41,469 --> 00:14:45,181
No, but one of them did look
like the Virgin Mary,
163
00:14:45,348 --> 00:14:46,642
now that you mention it.
164
00:14:46,808 --> 00:14:48,727
Well, it wasn't the Virgin Mary,
I can tell you that.
165
00:14:50,103 --> 00:14:51,354
From your description,
166
00:14:51,521 --> 00:14:53,899
it must've been Valeria Messalina,
167
00:14:54,065 --> 00:14:56,484
the wife of Emperor Claudius,
168
00:14:56,651 --> 00:15:00,279
the most notorious nymphomaniac
in history.
169
00:15:02,948 --> 00:15:05,409
I thought she looked like your icon.
170
00:15:05,576 --> 00:15:08,704
We have that image
from a statue in the Louvre.
171
00:15:08,871 --> 00:15:14,126
It's made like a Hodegetria, but it's
not a religious person, far from it.
172
00:15:15,336 --> 00:15:19,048
And the other woman,
the one astride the creature,
173
00:15:19,214 --> 00:15:22,134
that was no one else
but the great Whore of Babylon,
174
00:15:22,302 --> 00:15:26,222
riding on Nimrod
in the form of a bull.
175
00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:32,895
If anyone else
would've told me that story,
176
00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:36,065
I would've seen it
as a blasphemous joke,
177
00:15:36,232 --> 00:15:37,900
spiced up with a Biblical light
178
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:42,530
emanating from nothing less
than a spontaneous orgasm.
179
00:15:44,699 --> 00:15:46,617
Goodness gracious.
180
00:15:46,784 --> 00:15:49,494
You demand a lot of your listener.
181
00:15:50,704 --> 00:15:54,166
I promise you I'm as innocent
in regards to the religious
182
00:15:54,333 --> 00:15:57,294
as you are when it comes to sex.
183
00:15:59,171 --> 00:16:01,924
The Transfiguration
on the Venus Mount.
184
00:16:04,676 --> 00:16:08,722
And then later,
you lost your orgasm altogether.
185
00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:16,396
Wagner.'Das Rheingold'.
186
00:16:16,563 --> 00:16:21,068
The descent into Nibelheim.
Was it that bad?
187
00:16:21,235 --> 00:16:24,404
Try to imagine that
in one fell swoop,
188
00:16:24,571 --> 00:16:26,782
you lost all desire to read
189
00:16:26,949 --> 00:16:30,285
and all your love and passion
for books and letters.
190
00:16:30,452 --> 00:16:33,330
I don't even know
if I can imagine that.
191
00:16:55,645 --> 00:16:57,187
Can I help you?
192
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:01,418
But as so often before in my life,
193
00:18:01,585 --> 00:18:06,048
a bit of hope sprang
from a mystical event.
194
00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:07,382
Which was?
195
00:18:07,549 --> 00:18:12,137
Three dead leaves
performing a strange ballet.
196
00:18:12,304 --> 00:18:16,391
That gave you hope? For what?
197
00:18:16,558 --> 00:18:20,938
- For regaining my sexuality.
- How?
198
00:18:23,397 --> 00:18:25,900
To claim it by force.
199
00:18:53,803 --> 00:18:56,431
In spite of my tireless efforts,
200
00:18:56,598 --> 00:18:59,809
my cunt totally failed to respond.
201
00:19:01,145 --> 00:19:03,563
But the fact
that the initiative had shifted
202
00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:06,650
seemed to encourage Jerome greatly.
203
00:19:06,816 --> 00:19:08,693
And I have to admit there came a time
204
00:19:08,860 --> 00:19:11,655
when we had fun together.
205
00:19:15,574 --> 00:19:17,785
I'll give you a fiver.
206
00:19:20,454 --> 00:19:23,082
If you can put this...
207
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:25,584
up inside your cunt.
208
00:19:25,751 --> 00:19:29,255
- A fiver?
- Right.
209
00:19:42,936 --> 00:19:44,854
Shit.
210
00:20:27,521 --> 00:20:30,524
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
211
00:20:33,902 --> 00:20:37,573
- Didn't you get any spoons?
- No, we didn't.
212
00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:36,883
So what does this tell us?
213
00:21:37,050 --> 00:21:40,136
That love and sex have nothing
to do with each other, or...
214
00:21:40,303 --> 00:21:43,222
or that they decidedly
work against one another?
215
00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:46,643
The most grotesque thing
was that it was during that period,
216
00:21:46,768 --> 00:21:51,021
where every sexual sensation
was denied me, a period,
217
00:21:51,188 --> 00:21:54,983
I must admit, of secure
and restful domestic comfort.
218
00:21:55,150 --> 00:21:57,986
We had moved in together and so on,
219
00:21:58,153 --> 00:21:59,572
that I became pregnant,
220
00:21:59,738 --> 00:22:02,700
because I was careless
about my birth control pills.
221
00:22:02,866 --> 00:22:05,869
Consciously or unconsciously,
222
00:22:06,036 --> 00:22:09,039
it was important for me
to have a Caesarean.
223
00:22:09,206 --> 00:22:12,167
I mean, I was hoping that my cunt
was going to fucking work again,
224
00:22:13,251 --> 00:22:16,046
and I had a feeling
that a haphazard birth
225
00:22:16,213 --> 00:22:19,049
wouldn't make things better.
226
00:22:19,216 --> 00:22:21,427
I may have been imagining things,
227
00:22:21,594 --> 00:22:24,638
but as I lay there,
the noise from the instruments
228
00:22:24,805 --> 00:22:28,141
rang out in a chord like
the one from the Little Flock.
229
00:22:30,102 --> 00:22:33,272
Yes. And it wasn't fear.
230
00:22:33,439 --> 00:22:36,984
More like a kind of disgust.
231
00:22:51,123 --> 00:22:54,417
I could've sworn I saw him laughing.
232
00:22:54,584 --> 00:22:56,628
A laughing son.
233
00:22:56,794 --> 00:22:58,404
In 'Doctor Faustus',
Thomas Mann describes
234
00:22:58,546 --> 00:23:01,049
the birth of Noah's son Ham,
235
00:23:01,216 --> 00:23:03,010
who was laughing when he was born.
236
00:23:05,095 --> 00:23:06,679
Another satanic omen.
237
00:23:10,558 --> 00:23:15,438
Incidentally, the innocent child
was named Marcel after Mars,
238
00:23:15,605 --> 00:23:16,982
the Roman God of War.
239
00:23:17,149 --> 00:23:19,234
And motherhood?
240
00:23:19,401 --> 00:23:23,614
I assume maternal love didn't
quite live up to its expectations.
241
00:23:23,781 --> 00:23:26,491
No, I didn't have any expectations.
242
00:23:26,659 --> 00:23:29,286
And maternal love wasn't a problem.
243
00:23:30,370 --> 00:23:33,873
It was just that each time
I looked into the child's eyes,
244
00:23:34,624 --> 00:23:39,128
I had this unsettling feeling
of having been found out.
245
00:23:42,507 --> 00:23:45,802
It's probably
a strange thing to say about a child...
246
00:23:45,968 --> 00:23:49,221
that my love wasn't being returned.
247
00:23:49,389 --> 00:23:52,308
But it was my perception.
248
00:23:54,519 --> 00:23:57,605
If Jerome had hoped for a break
from what was for him
249
00:23:57,772 --> 00:24:01,568
now mostly strenuous work,
he could forget about it.
250
00:24:01,734 --> 00:24:05,447
Achilles was again chasing
the tortoise.
251
00:24:08,825 --> 00:24:11,994
- Fill all my holes.
- I can't, Joe.
252
00:24:16,708 --> 00:24:18,460
I'm sorry.
253
00:24:21,129 --> 00:24:23,005
I'm trying.
254
00:24:28,969 --> 00:24:31,973
- Can we talk a bit?
- Of course.
255
00:24:37,186 --> 00:24:41,983
I love you. I love your wildness
and your desire. I love you, Joe.
256
00:24:44,318 --> 00:24:46,028
At the moment,
I don't seem to satisfy you
257
00:24:46,195 --> 00:24:48,280
in the way that I'd like to.
258
00:24:49,573 --> 00:24:50,449
Don't get upset, Joe.
259
00:24:50,616 --> 00:24:52,264
It doesn't mean we won't continue
with our sex life,
260
00:24:52,284 --> 00:24:54,620
which is very important to me.
261
00:24:55,997 --> 00:24:58,124
Very important to me.
262
00:24:59,917 --> 00:25:03,129
When you buy a tiger, right,
263
00:25:03,295 --> 00:25:05,256
you also have to feed it.
264
00:25:05,422 --> 00:25:10,094
Satisfy it, right?
265
00:25:16,850 --> 00:25:19,102
Long story short.
266
00:25:19,728 --> 00:25:21,229
I have a tiger on my hands.
267
00:25:21,396 --> 00:25:23,940
- You mean I'm too much for you.
- No.
268
00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:26,568
You're just the way you should be.
269
00:25:26,735 --> 00:25:28,403
I was just thinking
if you would consider
270
00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:31,615
that I get a little help
with the feeding, that's all.
271
00:25:34,993 --> 00:25:38,622
You're saying I should have sex
with others as well.
272
00:25:44,796 --> 00:25:49,133
That's a rather cruel way
of putting it, Joe, but...
273
00:25:49,301 --> 00:25:51,678
- But exact.
- Exact.
274
00:26:03,690 --> 00:26:06,151
For a long time I'd
been playing around with the idea
275
00:26:06,318 --> 00:26:08,652
that the concept of
the fuck-me-now clothes
276
00:26:08,819 --> 00:26:09,945
could be improved.
277
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:12,739
You look nice.
278
00:26:12,906 --> 00:26:16,035
And became the piano teacher.
279
00:26:38,766 --> 00:26:41,811
- You okay?
- No.
280
00:26:42,019 --> 00:26:44,856
- What's the matter?
- Well, I'm such an idiot with cars.
281
00:26:45,022 --> 00:26:47,108
I don't really know what to do.
Do you mind helping me?
282
00:26:49,151 --> 00:26:52,822
Of course it won't work. The
spark plug caps have been removed.
283
00:26:52,989 --> 00:26:56,951
Yes, I did that. Was that wrong?
284
00:26:57,118 --> 00:26:59,161
For the first time I had the pleasure
285
00:26:59,328 --> 00:27:01,204
of having an eight-cylinder car.
286
00:27:01,371 --> 00:27:03,123
The possible combinations
287
00:27:03,289 --> 00:27:06,167
of eight spark plug caps
on eight spark plugs
288
00:27:06,334 --> 00:27:09,087
are 40,320,
289
00:27:09,254 --> 00:27:11,965
if I remember my math correctly.
290
00:27:12,132 --> 00:27:15,636
And only one of these
will make the car run,
291
00:27:15,802 --> 00:27:18,013
which gave me all the time I needed.
292
00:27:18,179 --> 00:27:21,057
Beethoven?
He was certainly very good,
293
00:27:21,224 --> 00:27:22,934
but, you know,
he couldn't write a fugue.
294
00:27:23,101 --> 00:27:27,898
- You think so?
- Well, yeah, I think so.
295
00:27:42,913 --> 00:27:46,375
It would be more precise
to say that Beethoven
296
00:27:46,542 --> 00:27:49,128
renewed the fugue.
297
00:27:50,462 --> 00:27:53,839
That he was such a visionary
that the old Bach purists,
298
00:27:54,007 --> 00:27:57,177
they accused him of not mastering it.
299
00:28:19,407 --> 00:28:21,409
Good day?
300
00:28:29,375 --> 00:28:32,045
Not one word was ever spoken
301
00:28:32,212 --> 00:28:35,506
between me and Jerome
about my piano lessons.
302
00:28:49,729 --> 00:28:51,647
The first time the mysterious letters
303
00:28:51,814 --> 00:28:52,857
addressed to me arrived,
304
00:28:53,023 --> 00:28:55,651
I, of course, feared that
they were love letters
305
00:28:55,818 --> 00:28:59,029
from someone I'd completely
forgotten about and hid them,
306
00:28:59,196 --> 00:29:03,033
so as not to hurt Jerome
if he should see them.
307
00:29:09,874 --> 00:29:13,253
But as Jerome was always somehow
present when I would get the mail,
308
00:29:13,419 --> 00:29:16,589
and as the envelopes
were always empty,
309
00:29:16,756 --> 00:29:18,799
I understood that the letters,
in fact,
310
00:29:18,966 --> 00:29:22,970
were sent by Jerome himself
as a way of testing me.
311
00:29:25,014 --> 00:29:26,849
My decision not to show them to him
312
00:29:27,016 --> 00:29:29,644
was exactly the reaction
he had feared,
313
00:29:29,810 --> 00:29:32,647
and it reaffirmed his insane jealousy
314
00:29:32,813 --> 00:29:36,275
and his fantasies
of the countless times
315
00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:39,987
I would fall in love for real
while being the piano teacher.
316
00:30:08,766 --> 00:30:10,392
And now to reach the heart
317
00:30:10,517 --> 00:30:12,478
of your suffering Western Church,
318
00:30:12,645 --> 00:30:15,857
I have to jump ahead
three years in the story
319
00:30:16,024 --> 00:30:19,152
and talk about my meeting
with what I would call
320
00:30:19,319 --> 00:30:20,570
'The Dangerous Men.'
321
00:30:26,951 --> 00:30:30,037
I was alone with Marcel a lot
during this period,
322
00:30:30,204 --> 00:30:33,082
as Jerome was traveling
most of the time,
323
00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:36,001
and when he was finally home,
he spent most of the time
324
00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:38,671
accusing me of neglecting Marcel,
325
00:30:38,838 --> 00:30:40,172
which, in my opinion,
326
00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:43,593
was just a cover for
his anger over my lovers.
327
00:30:43,759 --> 00:30:48,180
Despite my, to put it mildly,
promiscuous initiatives,
328
00:30:48,389 --> 00:30:51,851
any sexual satisfaction,
let alone orgasm,
329
00:30:52,017 --> 00:30:55,313
was further away than ever before.
330
00:31:13,623 --> 00:31:16,209
I had to make a change.
331
00:31:16,376 --> 00:31:18,252
And somehow, the inspiration had been
332
00:31:18,418 --> 00:31:22,047
right there beneath my window
the whole time.
333
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:25,550
I'd planned to go where
I would never before
334
00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:27,636
had dreamt of going.
335
00:31:27,802 --> 00:31:33,058
For instance, to be with a man with
whom I shared no spoken language.
336
00:31:33,225 --> 00:31:36,061
I could feel that
it turned me on enormously
337
00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:39,106
to imagine a sexual situation
338
00:31:39,273 --> 00:31:43,819
in which verbal communication
was impossible.
339
00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:48,157
- Hello.
- Hello.
340
00:31:48,323 --> 00:31:50,242
I'm Tobias, the interpreter.
341
00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:52,870
Hello, I'm Joe. Come in.
342
00:31:53,037 --> 00:31:55,706
I understand that you mastered
the African languages.
343
00:31:55,873 --> 00:31:58,668
I do have a basis.
344
00:31:58,834 --> 00:32:00,795
Who and what needs interpretation?
345
00:32:00,961 --> 00:32:06,175
That man.
The one with the green jacket.
346
00:32:06,341 --> 00:32:08,844
What language is being spoken?
347
00:32:09,011 --> 00:32:10,679
Well, God knows. I...
348
00:32:10,845 --> 00:32:13,848
All I know is that
he doesn't speak English.
349
00:32:32,158 --> 00:32:34,911
It's quite difficult.
350
00:32:35,078 --> 00:32:39,165
But, we did manage to find a dialect,
351
00:32:39,333 --> 00:32:40,792
of which we both had some knowledge.
352
00:32:44,170 --> 00:32:45,297
You coming?
353
00:32:45,464 --> 00:32:48,091
No, I'll stay here,
and the two of you communicate.
354
00:32:50,177 --> 00:32:53,513
You are to ask him if he wants
to have sex with me.
355
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:56,141
Sex?
356
00:32:58,393 --> 00:33:00,604
Yeah...
357
00:33:24,585 --> 00:33:27,964
- Is it a go?
- It's hard to say.
358
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:33,928
I've written down
the time and place, but...
359
00:33:34,804 --> 00:33:36,890
Honestly, I wouldn't like
to take responsibility
360
00:33:37,056 --> 00:33:40,226
for the precise wording
in this case, which I think,
361
00:33:40,393 --> 00:33:43,647
accidentally may belong
362
00:33:43,813 --> 00:33:47,025
to a Grey zone in my profession.
363
00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:51,445
It was the address of a cheap hotel.
364
00:34:00,037 --> 00:34:01,454
Why were there two?
365
00:34:01,622 --> 00:34:03,457
My words exactly.
366
00:34:03,624 --> 00:34:07,545
Apparently, N had brought
his brother along.
367
00:36:44,117 --> 00:36:45,994
Why was he so angry?
368
00:36:46,161 --> 00:36:48,788
Clearly, it was something
personal between them,
369
00:36:48,956 --> 00:36:51,666
but later I heard that
performing a sandwich
370
00:36:51,834 --> 00:36:55,045
requires great sensitivity,
since the men apparently
371
00:36:55,212 --> 00:36:57,714
can feel each other
through the tissue.
372
00:36:57,881 --> 00:37:01,301
I imagine the quarrel had
already started on the stairs
373
00:37:01,468 --> 00:37:04,512
and that one or the other party
had laid claim
374
00:37:04,679 --> 00:37:06,682
to one or the other of my holes
375
00:37:06,807 --> 00:37:10,352
in conflict with his Negro
brother's interests.
376
00:37:10,518 --> 00:37:13,188
You shouldn't use that word.
377
00:37:13,355 --> 00:37:16,191
It's not what you call
politically correct.
378
00:37:16,358 --> 00:37:17,400
Negro.
379
00:37:17,568 --> 00:37:20,361
Well, excuse me, but in my circles,
380
00:37:20,527 --> 00:37:23,239
it's always been a mark of honor
to call a spade a spade.
381
00:37:24,490 --> 00:37:27,368
Each time a word becomes prohibited,
382
00:37:27,535 --> 00:37:30,079
you remove a stone
from the democratic foundation.
383
00:37:30,246 --> 00:37:34,959
Society demonstrates its impotence
in the face of a concrete problem
384
00:37:35,126 --> 00:37:37,044
by removing words from the language.
385
00:37:37,211 --> 00:37:40,798
The book burners have nothing
on modern society.
386
00:37:40,965 --> 00:37:42,049
I think society would claim
387
00:37:42,216 --> 00:37:45,887
that politically correctness
is a very precise expression
388
00:37:46,053 --> 00:37:48,848
of democratic concern for minorities.
389
00:37:49,015 --> 00:37:54,020
And I say that society is
as cowardly as the people in it
390
00:37:54,186 --> 00:37:58,065
who, in my opinion, are also
too stupid for democracy.
391
00:38:00,109 --> 00:38:03,780
I understand your point,
but I totally disagree.
392
00:38:03,946 --> 00:38:05,407
I have no doubt
in the human qualities.
393
00:38:06,824 --> 00:38:10,412
The human qualities can be
expressed in one word:
394
00:38:10,578 --> 00:38:11,662
hypocrisy.
395
00:38:12,621 --> 00:38:16,417
We elevate those who say
right but mean wrong,
396
00:38:16,583 --> 00:38:19,420
and mock those who say
wrong but mean right.
397
00:38:21,380 --> 00:38:23,882
Society is based on hate.
398
00:38:24,050 --> 00:38:26,385
It should be based on forgiveness.
399
00:38:27,678 --> 00:38:30,306
Hatred is rudimentary.
400
00:38:32,224 --> 00:38:36,020
One should be able
to forgive one's executioner.
401
00:38:40,817 --> 00:38:42,902
By the way, I can assure you
402
00:38:43,069 --> 00:38:47,281
that women who claim that Negros
don't turn them on are lying.
403
00:38:47,448 --> 00:38:50,117
So, did they satisfy you?
404
00:38:50,284 --> 00:38:51,994
Those Ne... Negros.
405
00:38:53,537 --> 00:38:58,417
No, but they showed me that
there was a world far from mine
406
00:38:58,584 --> 00:39:00,878
I had to explore.
407
00:39:01,045 --> 00:39:04,089
And there, or perhaps
on the other side
408
00:39:04,255 --> 00:39:05,966
get my life back.
409
00:39:52,222 --> 00:39:54,516
Who are you?
410
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,102
I know what you do.
411
00:39:59,020 --> 00:40:02,356
I'd like to be
one of the women you see.
412
00:40:06,068 --> 00:40:08,320
That's of no interest.
413
00:40:14,201 --> 00:40:15,953
Madame.
414
00:41:09,089 --> 00:41:12,634
Princess,
I specifically said five days,
415
00:41:12,759 --> 00:41:16,012
and five days haven't gone yet.
416
00:41:16,179 --> 00:41:22,060
So, you'll have to leave. Sorry.
417
00:41:32,196 --> 00:41:34,198
You still here?
418
00:41:36,367 --> 00:41:38,451
I...
419
00:41:39,369 --> 00:41:41,829
I don't think this is for you.
420
00:41:44,957 --> 00:41:49,337
Shall we conduct a small test?
421
00:41:52,715 --> 00:41:54,509
Stand up.
422
00:42:02,767 --> 00:42:04,560
Sit down, please.
423
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:18,324
I just want you to sit
completely relaxed
424
00:42:18,491 --> 00:42:21,077
while I hit you in the face.
425
00:42:21,244 --> 00:42:22,954
Nothing special.
426
00:42:23,121 --> 00:42:27,458
It's just a... it's just a slap.
427
00:42:32,922 --> 00:42:34,632
You ready?
428
00:42:36,133 --> 00:42:38,093
I'm ready.
429
00:42:45,309 --> 00:42:47,102
No!
430
00:42:50,147 --> 00:42:51,691
See?
431
00:43:02,452 --> 00:43:05,162
How mysterious.
432
00:43:05,330 --> 00:43:08,208
Will you give me
a reasonable explanation now,
433
00:43:08,374 --> 00:43:10,626
or shall we wait?
434
00:43:12,503 --> 00:43:14,297
I can't give you an explanation
435
00:43:14,464 --> 00:43:17,550
and certainly not a reasonable one.
436
00:43:17,717 --> 00:43:22,096
What exactly were the rumors
about him?
437
00:43:22,262 --> 00:43:26,766
- That he was violent.
- How can that be exciting?
438
00:43:30,395 --> 00:43:32,689
I think the easiest way
to understand it
439
00:43:32,856 --> 00:43:35,484
is to refer to my rebellious nature.
440
00:43:37,069 --> 00:43:42,157
This business of K's was something
I was completely against.
441
00:43:42,324 --> 00:43:44,243
So, the fact
that I was now contacting him
442
00:43:44,409 --> 00:43:47,205
was a last, desperate attempt
443
00:43:47,372 --> 00:43:50,458
to rehabilitate my sexuality.
444
00:43:51,417 --> 00:43:54,796
The system was
the overriding factor with K.
445
00:43:55,671 --> 00:43:57,799
A system of violence?
446
00:43:58,591 --> 00:44:01,552
Well, you were the one
447
00:44:01,720 --> 00:44:05,515
who insisted on
the Western Church, right?
448
00:44:05,682 --> 00:44:08,059
And I... I seem to remember
449
00:44:08,226 --> 00:44:12,355
that the systematic approach
to the crucifixion
450
00:44:12,522 --> 00:44:16,108
is of a violent
and not to say sadistic nature.
451
00:44:16,275 --> 00:44:20,279
Yes, the Passion of Christ
is full of systematic violence.
452
00:44:20,445 --> 00:44:23,157
The Via Dolorosa,
the Nine Stations of the Cross,
453
00:44:23,323 --> 00:44:25,993
and the 39 lashes.
454
00:44:50,142 --> 00:44:52,937
You are beginning to irritate me.
455
00:45:23,258 --> 00:45:25,677
Let me tell you the rules, then.
456
00:45:27,637 --> 00:45:30,099
The first rule
is that I don't fuck you,
457
00:45:31,058 --> 00:45:34,311
and there isn't any discussions
about that.
458
00:45:35,312 --> 00:45:37,564
Then, what do you get out of it?
459
00:45:37,731 --> 00:45:42,569
That's my business, and I don't
mean to mention it again.
460
00:45:42,737 --> 00:45:46,406
The second rule
is that we have no safe word,
461
00:45:47,574 --> 00:45:50,119
meaning that if you,
go inside with me,
462
00:45:50,285 --> 00:45:53,038
there is nothing that you can say
463
00:45:53,205 --> 00:45:58,251
that will make me stop
any plan or procedure.
464
00:45:58,417 --> 00:46:03,422
You must bring a brown,
used leather riding crop.
465
00:46:03,590 --> 00:46:08,678
And not one
from a shop selling sex toys.
466
00:46:08,845 --> 00:46:10,472
It's not a masquerade.
467
00:46:12,724 --> 00:46:15,143
Third rule...
468
00:46:15,309 --> 00:46:21,232
If I choose to let you in,
you have to be sitting out here.
469
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:25,945
In other words, you...
you won't know when.
470
00:46:26,112 --> 00:46:31,660
Only that it would be some time
between 2:00 and 6:00 at night.
471
00:46:31,826 --> 00:46:33,745
I can't stay here that late.
472
00:46:33,912 --> 00:46:37,707
My babysitter's not reliable,
and I can't leave my child.
473
00:46:40,377 --> 00:46:42,003
You don't even know my name!
474
00:46:42,171 --> 00:46:44,589
I'm not interested in your name.
475
00:46:46,049 --> 00:46:48,467
Here, your name is...
476
00:46:51,095 --> 00:46:52,888
Fido.
477
00:47:06,652 --> 00:47:08,196
Can I help you?
478
00:47:08,362 --> 00:47:10,949
I'd like to buy a riding crop.
479
00:47:11,115 --> 00:47:14,452
- For what?
- For my horse.
480
00:47:14,618 --> 00:47:17,038
Yes, I understand that part.
What kind of horse?
481
00:47:19,582 --> 00:47:22,460
Well, it's not very big.
482
00:47:22,626 --> 00:47:25,088
No, I just meant is the whip
for dressage or for jumping?
483
00:47:27,381 --> 00:47:28,883
I don't know.
484
00:47:30,009 --> 00:47:32,553
This is a dressage whip.
485
00:47:32,721 --> 00:47:34,555
Well, it's probably
for jumping, then.
486
00:47:34,723 --> 00:47:36,766
Okay. Like this?
487
00:47:40,853 --> 00:47:42,771
- Is it used?
- No.
488
00:47:43,731 --> 00:47:46,692
We do have used whips,
but these are not that expensive.
489
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:50,195
I prefer a used one.
490
00:47:52,573 --> 00:47:54,116
Okay.
491
00:48:01,289 --> 00:48:04,001
Marcel's awake.
492
00:48:04,167 --> 00:48:06,545
Do you want to say goodbye
to your mom?
493
00:48:06,712 --> 00:48:09,089
Goodbye.
494
00:49:08,191 --> 00:49:09,650
Fido...
495
00:49:31,755 --> 00:49:33,716
I'll take your coat.
496
00:49:54,152 --> 00:49:56,572
I'd like you to have your hair up.
497
00:49:57,865 --> 00:50:00,576
You can use this.
498
00:50:00,743 --> 00:50:04,538
Just in case it becomes necessary
for me to hit you in the face.
499
00:50:04,705 --> 00:50:07,208
Should I take my clothes off?
500
00:50:08,709 --> 00:50:12,004
I'll tell you what to do and when.
501
00:50:13,881 --> 00:50:15,507
You may sit down.
502
00:50:25,892 --> 00:50:27,727
Give me your hand.
503
00:50:35,110 --> 00:50:37,529
I wanna see what this knot
looks like on your wrist.
504
00:50:54,379 --> 00:50:55,672
Okay.
505
00:51:02,595 --> 00:51:04,514
You may get UP-
506
00:51:11,938 --> 00:51:14,691
- Now you may bend down.
- How?
507
00:51:16,943 --> 00:51:18,861
Approach the chair.
508
00:51:20,572 --> 00:51:22,281
Now bend from the hips.
509
00:51:25,493 --> 00:51:28,413
Look forward. Look forward.
With your head up.
510
00:51:28,580 --> 00:51:31,458
Head up. Keep looking forward.
511
00:51:38,172 --> 00:51:40,216
Keep looking forward.
512
00:51:44,762 --> 00:51:46,639
You may stand up.
513
00:51:48,225 --> 00:51:50,227
We have to use the couch.
514
00:51:52,770 --> 00:51:54,606
Come and sit.
515
00:51:57,066 --> 00:52:00,986
Take it easy. Take it easy.
516
00:52:01,153 --> 00:52:02,863
Bend over.
517
00:52:05,449 --> 00:52:07,659
Lay your arms out straight.
518
00:52:18,170 --> 00:52:20,464
Take it easy. Take it easy.
519
00:53:02,048 --> 00:53:04,967
Bring your hands out straight.
520
00:53:05,176 --> 00:53:07,386
Palms facing each other.
521
00:53:15,437 --> 00:53:17,021
Take it easy.
522
00:53:54,058 --> 00:53:56,268
Next time, don't wear knickers.
523
00:54:21,794 --> 00:54:25,006
Your ass is not high enough.
524
00:54:25,172 --> 00:54:26,390
I don't think we can do this today.
525
00:54:26,507 --> 00:54:28,134
What?
526
00:54:34,973 --> 00:54:37,058
I'd like to see you again
on Thursday.
527
00:54:44,190 --> 00:54:46,527
What's wrong?
528
00:54:46,693 --> 00:54:49,362
I think we should see
how it goes on Thursday.
529
00:55:02,292 --> 00:55:04,127
Hi, I can't
come to the phone right now.
530
00:55:04,295 --> 00:55:06,422
Please, leave a message.
531
00:55:06,630 --> 00:55:09,466
Yes, this is Marcel's mother again.
532
00:55:09,591 --> 00:55:14,012
It's now 1:30. We had an agreement.
533
00:55:14,179 --> 00:55:18,725
I hope you get this message
and come as quickly as you can.
534
00:55:20,311 --> 00:55:23,147
Marcel is sleeping.
535
00:55:23,314 --> 00:55:27,442
I have to go now.
536
00:56:23,288 --> 00:56:25,207
Raise yourself up.
537
00:56:28,127 --> 00:56:30,004
Even further.
538
00:56:33,841 --> 00:56:35,384
Better.
539
00:56:55,488 --> 00:56:59,492
Also so much better. So much better.
540
00:57:05,915 --> 00:57:08,750
I am now going to hit you 12 times,
541
00:57:08,917 --> 00:57:11,086
no matter how much you scream
542
00:57:11,253 --> 00:57:13,422
'cause no one can hear you down here.
543
00:57:20,845 --> 00:57:24,684
That's, that's not how it goes.
544
00:57:26,269 --> 00:57:29,022
Most people don't scream
until I hit them.
545
00:58:30,875 --> 00:58:32,502
That's it.
546
00:58:36,631 --> 00:58:40,260
- Thank you.
- You're very welcome.
547
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:53,605
Hello? Are you there?
548
00:58:56,066 --> 00:58:59,528
It's just all so very strange.
549
00:58:59,694 --> 00:59:03,448
Yes. Very, very strange.
550
00:59:04,158 --> 00:59:09,454
Because I was wetter the second time.
There's no doubt about it.
551
00:59:09,621 --> 00:59:12,499
I don't know where we get
our sexuality from
552
00:59:12,666 --> 00:59:16,753
or where tendencies
of this kind come from.
553
00:59:17,796 --> 00:59:20,883
Probably a perversion created
in our childhood
554
00:59:21,050 --> 00:59:23,343
that never manifested itself before.
555
00:59:23,510 --> 00:59:27,932
Well, oddly enough,
Freud says the opposite.
556
00:59:28,098 --> 00:59:31,643
He talks about the polymorphic
perversion of a child,
557
00:59:31,811 --> 00:59:36,941
meaning that in a child,
all kinds of perversions exist.
558
00:59:37,107 --> 00:59:40,277
And then we use
the childhood to diminish
559
00:59:40,444 --> 00:59:43,029
or remove some Of them.
560
00:59:43,196 --> 00:59:46,490
Basically, a child
is sexually polymorphic,
561
00:59:46,658 --> 00:59:50,286
and everything is sexuality
in an infant.
562
00:59:50,453 --> 00:59:53,582
And yet it was deeply bizarre
563
00:59:53,748 --> 00:59:57,627
to lie there and especially
to want to lie there.
564
01:00:01,881 --> 01:00:04,884
I felt invincible.
565
01:00:05,051 --> 01:00:07,721
But mostly,
I felt like a potted plant.
566
01:00:09,348 --> 01:00:10,932
Potted plant?
567
01:00:11,099 --> 01:00:15,144
Yes, because he was constantly
checking my cunt juice.
568
01:00:15,312 --> 01:00:20,275
The way old ladies check their potted
plant to see if they need watering.
569
01:00:23,152 --> 01:00:27,156
It is an interesting point
that you actually lubricated
570
01:00:27,324 --> 01:00:31,411
in expectation for a pain
that you hadn't experienced.
571
01:00:33,372 --> 01:00:36,290
Your body prepared itself
for an intercourse
572
01:00:36,457 --> 01:00:38,876
that you knew wouldn't happen.
573
01:00:40,753 --> 01:00:44,465
I can only describe
the mood as sexual.
574
01:00:46,467 --> 01:00:49,012
Despite K's immature appearance,
575
01:00:49,178 --> 01:00:53,349
his methods were
surprisingly refined.
576
01:00:53,516 --> 01:00:58,021
As I twisted and turned
while he was whipping me,
577
01:00:58,187 --> 01:01:01,941
I could feel
how clever his knots were.
578
01:01:02,108 --> 01:01:05,778
If I fought them,
they would get tighter,
579
01:01:05,945 --> 01:01:09,866
and as I relaxed,
it seemed they did, too.
580
01:01:12,911 --> 01:01:16,539
Like a cat playing with a mouse.
581
01:01:17,999 --> 01:01:20,293
Fooling it to believe
it has a chance of escape
582
01:01:20,459 --> 01:01:23,880
and then attacking it again.
583
01:01:25,924 --> 01:01:31,511
I don't know
what kind of knot K used,
584
01:01:31,679 --> 01:01:36,934
but I know of a knot that tightens
when force is exerted
585
01:01:37,100 --> 01:01:39,853
and vice versa.
It's called a Prusik knot.
586
01:01:40,020 --> 01:01:42,898
It's after a man called Prusik.
587
01:01:43,065 --> 01:01:44,900
He was a mountain climber,
588
01:01:45,067 --> 01:01:46,735
and he and a friend were out climbing
589
01:01:46,902 --> 01:01:51,239
and they had an accident,
and his friend died.
590
01:01:51,407 --> 01:01:54,661
And he ended up hanging
at the end of a rope
591
01:01:54,828 --> 01:01:58,332
with no possibility of getting up.
592
01:01:58,498 --> 01:02:01,125
You know, you can't climb
up a mountain climber rope.
593
01:02:01,293 --> 01:02:03,086
It's too thin.
594
01:02:03,253 --> 01:02:06,631
But he was an intelligent man,
and with his back to the wall,
595
01:02:06,798 --> 01:02:08,633
he was a genius.
596
01:02:10,385 --> 01:02:13,597
And he took the shoelaces
out of his boots
597
01:02:13,763 --> 01:02:17,891
and made two loops
and affixed them to the rope.
598
01:02:18,058 --> 01:02:20,394
And he could move these up
599
01:02:20,561 --> 01:02:21,812
when they weren't under tension.
600
01:02:21,979 --> 01:02:24,273
And then he could step into them
601
01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:28,527
and climb the rope and save himself.
602
01:02:28,694 --> 01:02:30,821
Prusik.
603
01:02:33,449 --> 01:02:37,161
I think this was
one of your weakest digressions.
604
01:02:41,165 --> 01:02:45,711
- May I continue?
- Be my guest.
605
01:02:50,383 --> 01:02:54,470
Tomorrow bring 15 small coins,
all the same.
606
01:02:56,514 --> 01:02:58,474
No more, no less.
607
01:04:59,426 --> 01:05:02,764
I sometimes give a Christmas present.
608
01:05:03,515 --> 01:05:07,184
But you have to do the work yourself.
609
01:05:07,351 --> 01:05:10,062
I'm going to show you how to do it.
610
01:05:24,994 --> 01:05:26,996
This is called a blood knot.
611
01:05:27,163 --> 01:05:31,501
You have to make nine ropes
with three blood knots on each.
612
01:05:31,668 --> 01:05:33,503
Let me see you do it.
613
01:05:33,670 --> 01:05:38,383
You decide whether
to make four, five, or six turns
614
01:05:38,550 --> 01:05:40,552
on the various knots.
615
01:05:51,770 --> 01:05:53,480
Let me see.
616
01:06:00,779 --> 01:06:02,906
That's fine.
617
01:06:03,074 --> 01:06:06,202
If you... if you start with one knot
618
01:06:06,368 --> 01:06:09,121
at the top of the rope,
619
01:06:09,288 --> 01:06:14,043
and then you have to put two
more knots at a distance of...
620
01:06:14,210 --> 01:06:18,380
Well, between 10 and 20
centimeters to be exact,
621
01:06:18,547 --> 01:06:20,200
but the most important thing
with blood knots
622
01:06:20,299 --> 01:06:23,385
on the nine ropes is
that they are placed differently
623
01:06:23,552 --> 01:06:25,930
and that they are staggered.
624
01:06:31,854 --> 01:06:34,690
The cat-o-nine-tails is often called
625
01:06:34,857 --> 01:06:37,734
the 'Captain's Daughter'
aboard ships.
626
01:06:41,613 --> 01:06:43,865
The blood knot is important
627
01:06:44,031 --> 01:06:46,784
because those are the ones
that break the skin and not,
628
01:06:47,409 --> 01:06:53,165
as erroneously thought,
the end of the rope.
629
01:06:53,332 --> 01:06:59,171
A gallows knot is also a kind of
a blood knot with many turns.
630
01:06:59,338 --> 01:07:03,843
The American military standard
demanded five to 15 turns,
631
01:07:04,010 --> 01:07:07,054
as it was the turns placed behind
the left ear of the delinquent
632
01:07:07,221 --> 01:07:10,433
that would break the neck
of the condemned as he fell.
633
01:07:13,978 --> 01:07:15,772
I'll take it from here.
634
01:10:06,481 --> 01:10:08,150
Joe?
635
01:10:10,027 --> 01:10:11,571
Love?
636
01:10:21,622 --> 01:10:22,998
Marcel?
637
01:10:26,877 --> 01:10:28,337
Marcel.
638
01:11:08,169 --> 01:11:11,214
- Are you fond of me still?
- Yes.
639
01:11:11,381 --> 01:11:14,342
More fond of me than the others?
640
01:11:16,302 --> 01:11:19,180
- Yes'?
- Yes.
641
01:11:19,347 --> 01:11:23,059
You're not thinking of leaving
again tonight, are you?
642
01:11:23,226 --> 01:11:24,435
- No.
- No?
643
01:11:24,602 --> 01:11:27,063
- No, no. Not at all.
- You sure?
644
01:11:28,648 --> 01:11:29,775
Yeah.
645
01:11:29,941 --> 01:11:32,693
Are you lying to me, Joe?
646
01:11:32,861 --> 01:11:34,738
- No.
- Be honest.
647
01:11:34,905 --> 01:11:39,409
It's all right. Just fucking say it.
648
01:11:39,575 --> 01:11:41,912
No, I... I just want to be here.
649
01:11:42,078 --> 01:11:43,914
Why?
650
01:11:47,708 --> 01:11:49,585
I don't know.
651
01:11:55,841 --> 01:11:58,928
If you leave tonight,
652
01:11:59,094 --> 01:12:02,640
you'll never see me or Marcel
ever again in your life.
653
01:12:06,310 --> 01:12:08,353
You understand?
654
01:13:24,263 --> 01:13:26,056
Is this goodbye?
655
01:13:29,308 --> 01:13:32,311
Is that what you're saying?
656
01:13:32,478 --> 01:13:33,772
Marcel, get up.
657
01:13:33,938 --> 01:13:36,065
- Stop it.
- Is that what you want?
658
01:13:37,609 --> 01:13:41,237
Yeah, so you could see him.
Look at him, Joe.
659
01:13:46,743 --> 01:13:49,746
Let's face it,
Joe, you're not a mother.
660
01:13:51,748 --> 01:13:53,332
Let's wake him up.
661
01:13:53,500 --> 01:13:57,879
Marcel, baby boy. Say bye, Mom.
662
01:13:59,047 --> 01:14:01,675
- Please, put him...
- Is this what you want?
663
01:14:05,470 --> 01:14:07,180
You see?
664
01:14:07,347 --> 01:14:10,392
You see, he wants you.
665
01:14:10,559 --> 01:14:12,394
Come.
666
01:14:13,353 --> 01:14:16,440
It's Christmas.
It's fucking Christmas.
667
01:14:39,337 --> 01:14:40,588
What is this?
668
01:14:42,631 --> 01:14:45,885
Today it's Madame who must wait.
669
01:14:54,143 --> 01:14:56,104
Madame, I'm very sorry,
670
01:14:56,270 --> 01:14:59,232
but I have to have a few words
with Fido first.
671
01:15:10,034 --> 01:15:12,661
Your behavior is really
upsetting me today.
672
01:15:23,421 --> 01:15:26,258
I really ought to send you home.
673
01:15:48,197 --> 01:15:50,241
Happy Christmas, Fido.
674
01:16:52,595 --> 01:16:55,223
- I want your cock.
- What did you say?
675
01:16:56,724 --> 01:16:58,266
I want your cock.
676
01:16:58,433 --> 01:17:02,020
No, you don't. No, you don't.
677
01:17:05,357 --> 01:17:07,526
What's the matter with you today?
678
01:17:29,256 --> 01:17:34,803
On account of the holidays
and your behavior today,
679
01:17:34,970 --> 01:17:37,265
I'm going to give you
the original Roman maximum
680
01:17:37,431 --> 01:17:40,434
of 40 lashes. Are you ready, Fido?
681
01:17:42,645 --> 01:17:44,188
I'm ready.
682
01:17:49,526 --> 01:17:51,278
One.
683
01:17:53,571 --> 01:17:54,572
Two.
684
01:17:56,866 --> 01:17:57,909
Three.
685
01:18:00,412 --> 01:18:01,829
Four.
686
01:18:03,123 --> 01:18:04,332
Five.
687
01:18:06,626 --> 01:18:08,045
Six.
688
01:18:21,391 --> 01:18:23,768
I'd seen through K's knot technique,
689
01:18:23,936 --> 01:18:26,438
so I was able to loosen
my position a bit
690
01:18:26,604 --> 01:18:29,274
to move my pelvis
and thereby stimulate
691
01:18:29,441 --> 01:18:32,152
my clitoris against the cover
of the book.
692
01:18:57,552 --> 01:18:59,011
Forty.
693
01:19:09,731 --> 01:19:14,736
And when you came home,
Jerome and the child were gone?
694
01:19:21,576 --> 01:19:24,621
I haven't seen Marcel since.
695
01:19:28,166 --> 01:19:32,753
This sentimentality... I hate it.
696
01:19:36,006 --> 01:19:39,426
- Why?
- Because it's a lie.
697
01:19:43,722 --> 01:19:45,557
Are you sure?
698
01:19:52,564 --> 01:19:54,566
Jerome understood
that he couldn't prioritize
699
01:19:54,733 --> 01:19:59,446
his life according to a child either,
700
01:19:59,613 --> 01:20:02,575
so he put him in a foster home.
701
01:20:05,495 --> 01:20:08,290
My only contact to the boy
is the thousand pounds
702
01:20:08,498 --> 01:20:11,418
I put in his account every month.
703
01:20:11,584 --> 01:20:13,045
Anonymously.
704
01:20:16,214 --> 01:20:18,425
As a penance.
705
01:20:28,350 --> 01:20:29,560
Every time I leave,
706
01:20:29,727 --> 01:20:33,690
I have this feeling that
when I return, you'll be gone.
707
01:20:37,610 --> 01:20:39,487
And all I can hear is the cat flap,
708
01:20:39,654 --> 01:20:43,115
swinging back and forth.
709
01:20:45,868 --> 01:20:49,288
Thank you. I didn't know
you had a cat flap.
710
01:20:50,122 --> 01:20:51,332
I used to have a cat,
711
01:20:51,499 --> 01:20:54,836
so I have a cat flap
in the door to the stairwell.
712
01:20:55,002 --> 01:20:56,796
But how did it get outside?
713
01:20:59,841 --> 01:21:04,136
I never thought of that.
I suppose through the basement.
714
01:21:04,304 --> 01:21:06,013
The thing is...
715
01:21:06,180 --> 01:21:09,016
Every time someone opens
the door to the street,
716
01:21:09,184 --> 01:21:12,270
the cat flap squeaks.
717
01:21:12,437 --> 01:21:14,271
There's a lot of drafts in the house.
718
01:21:15,814 --> 01:21:18,567
It hasn't squeaked yet.
719
01:21:19,568 --> 01:21:22,904
No, there's not many people
coming and going.
720
01:21:23,072 --> 01:21:25,032
That's a bit creepy.
721
01:21:25,199 --> 01:21:28,410
No, I like it.
722
01:21:28,577 --> 01:21:32,456
It's... it's peaceful.
723
01:21:37,128 --> 01:21:42,466
After all this sadness, may I ask
what happened to the silent duck?
724
01:21:43,509 --> 01:21:47,429
Shit. The silent duck.
725
01:21:47,596 --> 01:21:50,349
I'd forgotten all about it.
726
01:21:51,308 --> 01:21:54,061
One night K had been
in what was for him
727
01:21:54,228 --> 01:21:56,147
an unusually good mood.
728
01:21:56,313 --> 01:21:58,816
I don't know what caused it,
but he didn't hit hard,
729
01:21:58,983 --> 01:22:01,110
and he joked that
he would introduce me
730
01:22:01,277 --> 01:22:04,113
to the concept of the silent duck.
731
01:22:29,387 --> 01:22:33,349
One hardly dare
imagine the quacking duck.
732
01:22:46,655 --> 01:22:49,575
Well, deep down,
733
01:22:49,741 --> 01:22:52,869
little K seems
to have been a jolly man
734
01:22:53,078 --> 01:22:54,246
with versatile talents.
735
01:22:54,413 --> 01:22:58,208
But he got that bit
about Roman punishment
736
01:22:58,374 --> 01:23:00,793
and the 40 lashes wrong.
737
01:23:00,960 --> 01:23:02,657
Because it's true that
the highest punishment
738
01:23:02,753 --> 01:23:07,758
was 40 lashes, but it had to be
delivered in series of three.
739
01:23:07,925 --> 01:23:09,802
That's why Jesus only got 39 lashes
740
01:23:09,969 --> 01:23:15,600
because three goes
into 39 but not into 40.
741
01:23:18,478 --> 01:23:21,689
Well, I don't know about K
being jolly.
742
01:23:21,856 --> 01:23:24,317
His position as a sadist
743
01:23:24,484 --> 01:23:27,612
wasn't perhaps as enviable
as it might first appear.
744
01:23:27,778 --> 01:23:32,826
Superficially, the sadist
acts as the decider.
745
01:23:33,659 --> 01:23:36,579
But I once had a conversation
with a prostitute,
746
01:23:36,704 --> 01:23:39,207
who had tried all the variations
in her field.
747
01:23:39,374 --> 01:23:41,001
She wasn't surprised by anything.
748
01:23:41,167 --> 01:23:46,047
And she admitted to have only
masochists.
749
01:23:46,965 --> 01:23:48,091
Masochists, for her,
750
01:23:48,258 --> 01:23:51,218
were the most demanding
and the most ungrateful.
751
01:23:52,177 --> 01:23:54,597
First, she were
to deduce their desire
752
01:23:54,764 --> 01:23:56,473
by reading their thoughts,
753
01:23:56,641 --> 01:24:00,603
then perform without
any alteration from the norm,
754
01:24:00,770 --> 01:24:03,939
and after which, unlike other clients
755
01:24:04,106 --> 01:24:07,442
and the most honorable sadists,
for example,
756
01:24:07,610 --> 01:24:09,529
you never received any thanks,
757
01:24:10,446 --> 01:24:13,240
let alone gifts or flowers.
758
01:24:17,828 --> 01:24:20,665
I never went in that direction again,
759
01:24:20,831 --> 01:24:23,292
neither back to K or masochism.
760
01:24:33,594 --> 01:24:36,307
But I took the orgasm with me.
761
01:24:37,724 --> 01:24:42,270
You yet have to show me one
single example of maliciousness.
762
01:24:43,062 --> 01:24:45,481
But that's all I'm doing!
763
01:24:45,648 --> 01:24:48,443
It's as if you want
to misunderstand me.
764
01:24:48,609 --> 01:24:52,238
You keep inventing
complicated and false excuses
765
01:24:52,405 --> 01:24:54,865
for my despicable
and selfish actions.
766
01:24:57,118 --> 01:24:58,869
During the time when our relationship
767
01:24:59,037 --> 01:25:01,872
was going downhill,
Jerome really tried his best.
768
01:25:05,085 --> 01:25:06,669
I bought you something.
769
01:25:06,836 --> 01:25:08,706
- You bought me something?
- I'm sure you'll love it.
770
01:25:10,215 --> 01:25:13,051
- It's a ring.
- Yeah.
771
01:25:14,094 --> 01:25:15,136
It's beautiful.
772
01:25:15,303 --> 01:25:18,431
It was impossible
for me to work out Jerome's income.
773
01:25:18,598 --> 01:25:22,477
Sometimes he had lots of money
and other times none,
774
01:25:22,643 --> 01:25:23,895
which I later thought perhaps
775
01:25:24,062 --> 01:25:27,357
meant that his work
was not entirely above board.
776
01:25:27,523 --> 01:25:30,610
But this time
he'd really gone all out.
777
01:25:30,777 --> 01:25:35,322
- That must've been so expensive.
- Well, it wasn't cheap.
778
01:25:35,489 --> 01:25:37,574
Best craftsmanship.
779
01:25:37,742 --> 01:25:39,910
I'll guarantee you that.
780
01:25:40,077 --> 01:25:42,537
Let's play a game, then.
781
01:25:42,705 --> 01:25:44,957
- A game?
- Get up.
782
01:25:45,124 --> 01:25:46,208
Okay.
783
01:25:46,375 --> 01:25:48,586
- It's called 'Cinderella'.
- I don't know it.
784
01:25:48,753 --> 01:25:50,630
- You will.
- Okay.
785
01:25:50,796 --> 01:25:52,673
- Right.
- No, you don't touch it.
786
01:25:52,840 --> 01:25:54,383
- Okay.
- You just look at it.
787
01:25:56,844 --> 01:25:58,638
Okay? Are you ready?
788
01:26:00,180 --> 01:26:01,807
- Yes.
- Steady.
789
01:26:01,974 --> 01:26:04,268
Steady.
790
01:26:04,435 --> 01:26:06,186
- Go.
- Fuck! Joe!
791
01:26:06,354 --> 01:26:07,563
Come on, Cinderella.
792
01:26:07,730 --> 01:26:10,190
- Fuck.
- Come on, come on.
793
01:26:10,358 --> 01:26:13,653
Joe! For fuck's sake.
794
01:26:13,819 --> 01:26:15,988
- Move!
- Cinderella, Cinderella!
795
01:26:16,155 --> 01:26:19,242
Fuck! Are you mad, Joe?
796
01:26:20,117 --> 01:26:22,912
Are you fucking mad? Fuck! Fuck.
797
01:26:23,078 --> 01:26:26,039
£7,000, Joe!
798
01:26:27,791 --> 01:26:29,209
Did he find it?
799
01:26:29,376 --> 01:26:34,256
Yes, and returned it
and got all his money back.
800
01:26:34,423 --> 01:26:39,011
So can you call this game
anything other than malicious?
801
01:26:43,890 --> 01:26:46,560
Let me chew on that for a while.
802
01:26:50,522 --> 01:26:53,608
So it wasn't the diamond that
you're wearing around your neck?
803
01:26:53,775 --> 01:26:57,071
No. But that was a gift, too.
804
01:26:57,237 --> 01:26:59,156
But I have to be honest and say
805
01:26:59,323 --> 01:27:02,117
I can't remember the person
who gave it to me.
806
01:27:03,077 --> 01:27:06,038
I've always been in...
in the theoretical way, of course,
807
01:27:06,205 --> 01:27:08,207
interested in diamonds
and their cuts.
808
01:27:08,373 --> 01:27:11,251
The word 'brilliant'
refers to the cut.
809
01:27:11,418 --> 01:27:14,171
Diamond is the stone.
810
01:27:16,047 --> 01:27:18,132
If we use the word 'divine'
in connection
811
01:27:18,299 --> 01:27:20,384
with the Golden Section
and Fibonacci,
812
01:27:20,551 --> 01:27:22,679
the brilliant cut is nothing less.
813
01:27:23,429 --> 01:27:26,600
It's a frighteningly refined cut.
814
01:27:26,766 --> 01:27:29,352
Fifty-seven facets.
815
01:27:29,519 --> 01:27:32,689
The theory is that the light
enters through the top plane,
816
01:27:32,856 --> 01:27:37,110
which is called the table
or in some languages the mirror,
817
01:27:37,276 --> 01:27:41,406
and then inside the diamond
is refracted in all the facets
818
01:27:41,573 --> 01:27:43,408
and thrown out the same way,
819
01:27:43,575 --> 01:27:48,580
creating a absolutely unique
light effect.
820
01:27:50,624 --> 01:27:54,419
So, it's called a mirror.
I didn't know that.
821
01:27:55,629 --> 01:27:57,422
You have a mirror, too.
822
01:27:59,883 --> 01:28:01,593
Yeah.
823
01:28:01,760 --> 01:28:04,178
It's like a thought, isn't it?
824
01:28:33,832 --> 01:28:35,084
Some years later,
825
01:28:35,251 --> 01:28:38,462
the bodily abuse
began to have an effect.
826
01:28:38,712 --> 01:28:41,966
First, rare bleedings
from my clitoris,
827
01:28:42,133 --> 01:28:45,511
but then they became
more and more frequent.
828
01:28:55,229 --> 01:28:56,815
Come in.
829
01:29:00,442 --> 01:29:04,154
But I really need my salary.
830
01:29:04,321 --> 01:29:05,907
I know.
831
01:29:07,283 --> 01:29:09,786
And I'd like to help you.
832
01:29:10,662 --> 01:29:13,915
Have you heard any
of the rumors about yourself?
833
01:29:17,502 --> 01:29:20,171
They say you see men every evening
834
01:29:23,299 --> 01:29:26,052
and spend all night with them.
835
01:29:26,219 --> 01:29:29,473
They say you can't be trusted,
all of them.
836
01:29:31,891 --> 01:29:34,102
Why do they say that?
837
01:29:36,020 --> 01:29:38,648
I suppose they're afraid that I...
838
01:29:38,815 --> 01:29:42,319
I can't keep away from their men.
839
01:29:44,446 --> 01:29:47,324
Right. And can you?
840
01:29:48,533 --> 01:29:49,909
No.
841
01:29:53,036 --> 01:29:55,539
I've spoken with a psychologist.
842
01:29:56,874 --> 01:29:58,751
He says you're addicted,
843
01:29:58,917 --> 01:30:01,504
but that it's not the kind of
addiction that can't be treated.
844
01:30:02,213 --> 01:30:05,216
They have some groups.
845
01:30:05,383 --> 01:30:07,885
I know about these kinds of groups.
846
01:30:08,052 --> 01:30:11,097
I don't have anything
to say to a psychologist.
847
01:30:11,264 --> 01:30:14,267
I'm not suggesting therapy.
I'm demanding it.
848
01:30:15,726 --> 01:30:17,853
Even if you leave us,
it'll be the same at your next job
849
01:30:18,021 --> 01:30:20,481
and the one after that.
850
01:30:25,444 --> 01:30:27,906
Why didn't you want to speak
with a psychologist?
851
01:30:29,448 --> 01:30:32,701
It's an old story.
I just don't like them.
852
01:30:36,039 --> 01:30:37,916
Well, if you insist
that I try to understand,
853
01:30:38,082 --> 01:30:40,209
then you have
to tell me that story as well.
854
01:30:40,376 --> 01:30:42,670
The old story.
855
01:30:43,837 --> 01:30:46,757
Okay. Okay.
856
01:30:46,924 --> 01:30:49,342
It's not that old after all.
857
01:30:50,093 --> 01:30:54,598
It was about a year after
I'd lost Marcel and Jerome.
858
01:31:01,730 --> 01:31:03,106
Okay.
859
01:31:04,442 --> 01:31:07,194
I'd been careless
with my birth control pills before,
860
01:31:07,360 --> 01:31:09,905
and now I just didn't use them.
861
01:31:10,113 --> 01:31:12,074
Didn't the
whole experience with Marcel
862
01:31:12,240 --> 01:31:15,160
convince you that there was no
room for children in your life?
863
01:31:15,369 --> 01:31:16,995
That's right.
864
01:31:21,750 --> 01:31:23,961
I know it sounds incomprehensible,
865
01:31:24,127 --> 01:31:26,630
but actually, it was because
of my crippling fear
866
01:31:26,797 --> 01:31:29,925
of becoming pregnant
that I didn't take the pills.
867
01:31:30,092 --> 01:31:32,135
It's probably impossible
to understand.
868
01:31:32,303 --> 01:31:35,888
No, it makes sense to me.
869
01:31:36,055 --> 01:31:38,183
You were so afraid
of getting pregnant
870
01:31:38,350 --> 01:31:41,769
that you repressed
the possibility of it.
871
01:31:41,936 --> 01:31:45,190
You couldn't even handle
seeing the box of pills.
872
01:31:50,778 --> 01:31:52,239
Okay.
873
01:31:57,660 --> 01:31:59,537
Would you turn it down?
874
01:32:02,207 --> 01:32:04,834
If you look at the screen
you can see your child,
875
01:32:05,002 --> 01:32:06,753
but I can't tell you the gender yet.
876
01:32:06,920 --> 01:32:09,506
I don't give a shit about the gender.
877
01:32:09,672 --> 01:32:11,091
I want it removed.
878
01:32:14,136 --> 01:32:17,555
Okay. You're in week eleven.
879
01:32:17,722 --> 01:32:22,269
So legally, there are
no barriers for an abortion.
880
01:32:22,435 --> 01:32:25,313
Yes, I know that. Just remove it.
881
01:32:25,480 --> 01:32:29,817
Well, we have some procedures
to follow.
882
01:32:29,984 --> 01:32:31,611
There's nothing more to talk about.
883
01:32:31,778 --> 01:32:33,821
I can have it removed.
I want it removed.
884
01:32:33,988 --> 01:32:36,991
It is a very big decision,
best not made in haste.
885
01:32:37,158 --> 01:32:39,911
Didn't you understand
what I just said?
886
01:32:40,077 --> 01:32:42,454
Okay, there's
an informative consultation
887
01:32:42,622 --> 01:32:46,000
with our psychologist before
you can have the procedure.
888
01:32:54,967 --> 01:32:57,387
You didn't really fill out the form.
889
01:32:57,554 --> 01:32:59,472
Maybe you didn't have time,
890
01:32:59,639 --> 01:33:04,686
so I will need
to ask a few more questions.
891
01:33:04,852 --> 01:33:08,398
What's the most important thing
in your life right now?
892
01:33:08,565 --> 01:33:12,652
It could be many things,
your family, your friends, your...
893
01:33:12,819 --> 01:33:14,946
The most important thing
for me right now
894
01:33:15,112 --> 01:33:17,240
is to get an abortion.
895
01:33:18,990 --> 01:33:22,077
Yes. Well, that's what
we're going to resolve together.
896
01:33:24,455 --> 01:33:26,915
I need some information.
897
01:33:29,543 --> 01:33:31,378
Do you love the father?
898
01:33:31,545 --> 01:33:34,840
That's none of your business.
899
01:33:35,007 --> 01:33:40,263
Well, it is my business
because I'm here to form
900
01:33:40,430 --> 01:33:43,183
an impression of your circumstances.
901
01:33:43,350 --> 01:33:45,143
That's my job.
902
01:33:45,310 --> 01:33:47,104
Okay, so what would you most like me
903
01:33:47,270 --> 01:33:50,773
to answer about the father in order
to get the fucking abortion?
904
01:33:50,941 --> 01:33:53,693
That I love him,
or that I don't love him?
905
01:33:53,861 --> 01:33:58,406
Or that I... I don't know him
because I fuck tons of men?
906
01:34:03,703 --> 01:34:06,664
I, see that you were emotional
907
01:34:06,832 --> 01:34:09,041
during the doctor's examination.
908
01:34:09,208 --> 01:34:11,335
I think you're emotional.
909
01:34:11,502 --> 01:34:15,547
Please, listen. This is what we call
an informative consultation.
910
01:34:15,715 --> 01:34:17,759
What is it I need to be informed of?
911
01:34:17,925 --> 01:34:19,969
That you can't
stuff the kid back inside?
912
01:34:20,136 --> 01:34:22,639
I already know that.
913
01:34:23,890 --> 01:34:26,017
I just need to be certain
914
01:34:26,183 --> 01:34:28,394
that you're completely sure
about your choice,
915
01:34:28,561 --> 01:34:31,731
and my professional opinion
based on your behavior
916
01:34:31,898 --> 01:34:33,149
is that clearly you're not.
917
01:34:33,315 --> 01:34:35,485
I've never been more sure in my life.
918
01:34:35,652 --> 01:34:38,237
I want that fetus out right now.
919
01:34:38,405 --> 01:34:41,616
And as a professional, I cannot
defend recommending an abortion
920
01:34:41,783 --> 01:34:42,867
based on this conversation.
921
01:34:43,075 --> 01:34:47,079
I've already had a kid!
I know what I want!
922
01:34:47,246 --> 01:34:48,623
Fuck you.
923
01:34:55,338 --> 01:34:58,216
There were,
of course, many ways to do it.
924
01:34:58,383 --> 01:35:01,009
But I had chosen to follow
the common medical procedure
925
01:35:01,177 --> 01:35:03,970
I had learnt while studying medicine,
926
01:35:04,138 --> 01:35:06,265
as it was of great importance for me
927
01:35:06,432 --> 01:35:09,768
to get the fetus out straight away
rather than wait for it
928
01:35:09,935 --> 01:35:12,854
to be expelled
a couple of days later.
929
01:36:36,062 --> 01:36:38,940
Clearly, the most painful part
930
01:36:39,107 --> 01:36:41,985
would be the gradual opening
of the cervix,
931
01:36:42,152 --> 01:36:46,406
which otherwise was always done
under anesthesia.
932
01:39:11,843 --> 01:39:14,012
Say something, Pierrot.
933
01:39:15,972 --> 01:39:17,057
What do you mean?
934
01:39:17,223 --> 01:39:20,017
Well, you always have
so many clever things to say.
935
01:39:25,856 --> 01:39:29,276
Well, I... I feel bad for you
936
01:39:29,443 --> 01:39:31,320
that you had to cause yourself
so much pain.
937
01:39:37,743 --> 01:39:42,164
But the... the abortion
is completely understandable.
938
01:39:42,331 --> 01:39:43,458
You simply thought the child
939
01:39:43,624 --> 01:39:46,085
wouldn't have
a life worth living, so...
940
01:39:46,711 --> 01:39:48,713
Yeah, but the abortion in itself.
941
01:39:48,879 --> 01:39:51,674
- Abortion is not murder.
- Come on.
942
01:39:51,841 --> 01:39:55,761
Don't fall back on false clichés
just for my sake.
943
01:39:55,928 --> 01:39:58,639
I ask again, what about the abortion?
944
01:39:58,806 --> 01:39:59,932
I have no comment.
945
01:40:00,099 --> 01:40:03,102
I'm a big proponent
for abortion rights,
946
01:40:03,269 --> 01:40:05,855
but this is 100% female territory.
947
01:40:06,021 --> 01:40:08,274
I don't believe a man
can ever comprehend
948
01:40:08,441 --> 01:40:11,025
the situation or the pain.
949
01:40:11,193 --> 01:40:15,113
And when it comes to the method,
I think the less said, the better.
950
01:40:15,280 --> 01:40:18,283
Those are two
very interesting points of view.
951
01:40:18,450 --> 01:40:21,286
First, you say that as a man,
952
01:40:21,453 --> 01:40:23,580
you can't understand
a woman's feelings
953
01:40:23,747 --> 01:40:26,250
with regard to abortion.
954
01:40:26,416 --> 01:40:29,336
Well, that's a bit like saying
that I couldn't understand
955
01:40:29,503 --> 01:40:32,256
the victims of earthquakes
because they were Chinese.
956
01:40:33,798 --> 01:40:36,593
I thought we agreed that empathy
957
01:40:36,760 --> 01:40:39,513
was the foundation of all humanism.
958
01:40:39,679 --> 01:40:42,599
But I can see that it's very
convenient for men
959
01:40:42,766 --> 01:40:45,853
to leave all that abortion
stuff to women.
960
01:40:46,020 --> 01:40:47,672
That way they don't have
to deal with the guilt
961
01:40:47,812 --> 01:40:50,774
and all of the small stuff.
962
01:40:50,941 --> 01:40:53,527
But your other remark
provokes me even more.
963
01:40:53,693 --> 01:40:56,989
You think my method
is not worth discussing?
964
01:40:59,116 --> 01:41:02,702
What enjoyment would I,
or let alone a young pregnant girl,
965
01:41:02,869 --> 01:41:04,663
have from hearing
all the lurid details
966
01:41:04,829 --> 01:41:08,917
about how a fetus is removed
in a clinic or any other way?
967
01:41:10,960 --> 01:41:12,754
Well, then,
we're back at the discussion
968
01:41:12,921 --> 01:41:15,464
about eating something
that was once alive.
969
01:41:15,632 --> 01:41:19,511
Do you really think
abortion is so repugnant
970
01:41:19,678 --> 01:41:21,262
if you believe that we should know
971
01:41:21,429 --> 01:41:24,933
how animals are slaughtered
in order to eat them?
972
01:41:25,099 --> 01:41:27,101
Well, that's a fact
we have to live with,
973
01:41:27,268 --> 01:41:29,395
even if we try to repress it.
974
01:41:29,563 --> 01:41:30,980
Just as we do with abortion.
975
01:41:31,147 --> 01:41:33,983
Well, you sound
like a pro-lifer from Texas.
976
01:41:35,694 --> 01:41:37,320
I don't think so.
977
01:41:38,112 --> 01:41:40,865
First of all, I'm just
as much a pro-choice as you are.
978
01:41:41,032 --> 01:41:42,409
But on principle,
979
01:41:42,576 --> 01:41:46,496
I believe that taboos
are damaging for human beings.
980
01:41:47,539 --> 01:41:50,334
That's a relatively easy stance
for you to take.
981
01:41:53,295 --> 01:41:56,380
One that can be misconstrued as a...
982
01:41:56,547 --> 01:41:59,383
as an argument
against pregnancy termination.
983
01:42:01,677 --> 01:42:03,221
I don't want to belittle anything,
984
01:42:03,387 --> 01:42:06,807
but I can't see your abortion
as anything but a...
985
01:42:08,059 --> 01:42:09,685
luxury problem.
986
01:42:13,106 --> 01:42:15,274
A luxury problem?
987
01:42:15,441 --> 01:42:18,652
The really serious,
serious abortions,
988
01:42:18,819 --> 01:42:23,908
the ones that save lives,
far from our social spheres,
989
01:42:24,075 --> 01:42:25,743
you can't endanger them
just because you
990
01:42:25,910 --> 01:42:28,579
provocatively insist
on showing the gory details.
991
01:42:29,914 --> 01:42:33,417
Consider all the millions
of repressed women,
992
01:42:33,584 --> 01:42:38,131
the victims of rape
and incest, hunger.
993
01:42:38,297 --> 01:42:41,300
All those who,
maybe thanks to an abortion,
994
01:42:41,467 --> 01:42:42,511
have regained a new life,
995
01:42:42,677 --> 01:42:46,514
maybe saved a child
from starving to death.
996
01:42:46,681 --> 01:42:51,686
You can't harm them just because
of some principle of openness.
997
01:42:54,856 --> 01:42:59,611
Luckily, I was able to get the head
of the fetus out on the first try,
998
01:42:59,778 --> 01:43:01,530
but it rarely goes like that.
999
01:43:01,696 --> 01:43:05,199
In the 12th week,
the diameter of the head
1000
01:43:05,366 --> 01:43:08,369
is a little more than
1.2 centimeters.
1001
01:43:08,537 --> 01:43:11,122
Therefore,
a very impressive instrument
1002
01:43:11,289 --> 01:43:13,166
has been developed
by the medical community.
1003
01:43:13,332 --> 01:43:16,044
The nutcracker is an instrument
1004
01:43:16,210 --> 01:43:20,006
that we use to get the fetus
out of the uterus completely.
1005
01:43:20,173 --> 01:43:24,386
We enter it into and through
the dilated cervical channel
1006
01:43:24,553 --> 01:43:26,971
and position it around the head
of the fetus,
1007
01:43:27,138 --> 01:43:30,224
and you crack it like a nut,
1008
01:43:30,392 --> 01:43:33,102
and then you pull out the fetus,
and there you have it.
1009
01:43:33,270 --> 01:43:35,855
That is the so-called nutcracker.
1010
01:43:36,022 --> 01:43:38,441
This is not something I need to know.
1011
01:43:39,775 --> 01:43:41,902
I hope you're not going
1012
01:43:42,069 --> 01:43:45,948
to be an opponent of abortion
based on that.
1013
01:43:46,115 --> 01:43:49,577
No, but you have to think
of the outrage
1014
01:43:49,743 --> 01:43:52,663
this knowledge would create
in society.
1015
01:43:52,830 --> 01:43:56,584
So, you're saying that people
in general are too stupid
1016
01:43:56,750 --> 01:44:00,921
to make decisions
on an informed basis.
1017
01:44:01,089 --> 01:44:05,301
And that coming from a man
who only an hour ago sermonized
1018
01:44:05,468 --> 01:44:07,845
about his belief in human qualities.
1019
01:44:08,012 --> 01:44:10,890
No, you... you're simplifying things.
1020
01:44:11,057 --> 01:44:14,018
You can't look at it like that.
1021
01:44:14,185 --> 01:44:16,604
It's funny to see you
so emotional suddenly.
1022
01:44:21,525 --> 01:44:24,028
Looking back, it rankles me a bit
1023
01:44:24,195 --> 01:44:28,366
that I didn't just
show up all calm and collected
1024
01:44:28,532 --> 01:44:31,910
at the appointment
with the psychologist
1025
01:44:32,077 --> 01:44:34,663
and have my abortion
under full anesthesia.
1026
01:44:34,830 --> 01:44:38,291
The fact is that when
you're completely under,
1027
01:44:38,458 --> 01:44:41,128
the fetus doesn't feel
anything either,
1028
01:44:41,294 --> 01:44:45,340
whereas my action, of course,
caused pain,
1029
01:44:45,507 --> 01:44:47,384
depending on how much consciousness
1030
01:44:47,551 --> 01:44:52,305
you want to ascribe
to a fetus about 12 weeks old.
1031
01:44:52,473 --> 01:44:55,017
I'm a bit nervous
about bringing that subject up,
1032
01:44:55,183 --> 01:44:57,478
as most of the abortions
in the world,
1033
01:44:57,645 --> 01:44:59,605
due to lack of resources,
1034
01:44:59,772 --> 01:45:03,901
occur just under
local anesthesia or none.
1035
01:45:05,944 --> 01:45:08,739
Well, you're a careful man.
1036
01:45:09,740 --> 01:45:13,911
Whether we talk about abortion
or not, you can't escape death,
1037
01:45:14,077 --> 01:45:17,998
and my fetus could have turned
out to be a fine human being,
1038
01:45:18,165 --> 01:45:21,793
but one that would
also eventually die.
1039
01:45:25,422 --> 01:45:27,840
What haunts me is the ironic detail
1040
01:45:28,007 --> 01:45:30,802
that my father and I
were snail-gatherers.
1041
01:45:34,056 --> 01:45:38,226
We had the deepest compassion,
not to say sentimentality,
1042
01:45:38,393 --> 01:45:41,479
about the smallest living things
on the planet
1043
01:45:41,646 --> 01:45:43,940
which we demonstrated
by saving snails,
1044
01:45:44,107 --> 01:45:47,610
often, by the way,
the same size as my fetus,
1045
01:45:47,735 --> 01:45:50,488
from certain death on the path.
1046
01:45:50,655 --> 01:45:54,117
We did that only
when the other one wasn't watching,
1047
01:45:54,284 --> 01:45:56,453
as it was a bit embarrassing.
1048
01:45:57,830 --> 01:46:00,290
Are you picking up snails?
1049
01:46:01,583 --> 01:46:03,251
No.
1050
01:46:05,128 --> 01:46:06,693
Are you sure you weren't
picking up snails?
1051
01:46:06,797 --> 01:46:08,423
- Yeah.
- You're sure?
1052
01:46:08,590 --> 01:46:10,675
Yeah.
1053
01:46:13,052 --> 01:46:16,931
- Shall we drop the subject?
- Yes, please.
1054
01:46:17,098 --> 01:46:19,183
Are you sure
you don't want a little tour
1055
01:46:19,350 --> 01:46:21,227
of the technical details
1056
01:46:21,393 --> 01:46:24,063
of removal of organs
for organ donations?
1057
01:46:24,230 --> 01:46:26,649
No, thank you. I'm fine.
1058
01:46:29,318 --> 01:46:30,277
Where were we?
1059
01:46:31,237 --> 01:46:35,324
I think something about your boss
sending you to see a psychologist.
1060
01:46:35,492 --> 01:46:37,326
Yes, that's right.
1061
01:46:42,749 --> 01:46:45,292
- My name is Joe.
- Hi, Joe.
1062
01:46:45,460 --> 01:46:49,464
- And I'm a nymphomaniac.
- Sex addict.
1063
01:46:49,631 --> 01:46:52,216
My name is Joe,
and I'm a nymphomaniac.
1064
01:46:52,384 --> 01:46:55,762
We say sex addict.
Here, everyone's the same.
1065
01:47:00,517 --> 01:47:04,811
Renée, last time you
told us you had a plan.
1066
01:47:04,978 --> 01:47:06,855
How did it go?
1067
01:47:07,022 --> 01:47:11,109
I thought of trying something new,
as nothing had helped.
1068
01:47:12,653 --> 01:47:16,241
I thought if I overdosed...
1069
01:47:16,408 --> 01:47:18,618
in other words,
if I did the exact opposite
1070
01:47:18,785 --> 01:47:21,121
of what we are trying to do here,
1071
01:47:21,288 --> 01:47:22,705
then I could get well.
1072
01:47:22,872 --> 01:47:25,333
You mean function normally.
1073
01:47:25,500 --> 01:47:28,753
I had prepared
the whole thing very carefully.
1074
01:47:28,920 --> 01:47:31,965
Sent my husband away for the weekend
1075
01:47:32,132 --> 01:47:35,969
and had the children taken care of.
1076
01:47:36,136 --> 01:47:38,138
It was to happen on the Saturday.
1077
01:47:40,473 --> 01:47:45,562
I had... I had collected
phone numbers for a whole month,
1078
01:47:45,728 --> 01:47:48,731
and then back in the coal.
1079
01:48:27,687 --> 01:48:30,982
They fucked me for three hours.
1080
01:48:31,273 --> 01:48:34,276
And how did you feel about that?
1081
01:48:34,444 --> 01:48:37,364
Well, I never feel good afterwards.
I feel ashamed.
1082
01:48:38,448 --> 01:48:40,867
But in relation to...
to your addiction,
1083
01:48:41,033 --> 01:48:43,828
do you feel relieved
like you thought you would?
1084
01:48:46,539 --> 01:48:47,706
No.
1085
01:48:49,208 --> 01:48:53,086
What should I do?
I'm ready to do what's necessary.
1086
01:48:53,254 --> 01:48:56,089
Sex addiction is very different from,
1087
01:48:56,257 --> 01:48:58,884
say, abuse of drugs or alcohol
1088
01:48:59,050 --> 01:49:01,637
because you don't actually need
either of those things.
1089
01:49:01,803 --> 01:49:03,930
These addictions can
be completely removed
1090
01:49:04,098 --> 01:49:08,560
by removing the drug or the alcohol,
not that that's easy.
1091
01:49:08,727 --> 01:49:11,272
But the difference with sex addiction
1092
01:49:11,438 --> 01:49:14,525
is that everyone has a sexuality
1093
01:49:14,691 --> 01:49:17,236
that's an integral part
of their personality.
1094
01:49:19,155 --> 01:49:24,326
If one could
imagine exterminating sexuality,
1095
01:49:24,493 --> 01:49:26,578
then you'd be left
with a severely reduced person
1096
01:49:26,745 --> 01:49:31,208
because... because sexuality
also includes tenderness,
1097
01:49:31,375 --> 01:49:34,879
contact, solidarity with others,
1098
01:49:35,046 --> 01:49:38,174
which would be hard to imagine
anyone living without on some level.
1099
01:49:39,800 --> 01:49:43,469
What you're saying is that no one
can remove their sexuality,
1100
01:49:43,636 --> 01:49:45,931
even though it's destroying
everything for them.
1101
01:49:46,097 --> 01:49:47,974
I wouldn't say no one,
1102
01:49:48,141 --> 01:49:50,811
but let's say, at most,
one in a million
1103
01:49:50,977 --> 01:49:53,772
manage to live a life
without sexuality.
1104
01:49:53,939 --> 01:49:57,609
But you can't be basing your therapy
on that one in a million.
1105
01:49:57,734 --> 01:50:01,196
No. The first and most important step
1106
01:50:01,362 --> 01:50:05,116
is to remove incentive
and to reduce exposure.
1107
01:50:06,743 --> 01:50:08,537
You have to ask yourself
1108
01:50:08,704 --> 01:50:11,748
what kind of incentives you have
and then make it difficult
1109
01:50:11,915 --> 01:50:13,667
for yourself to come
into contact with them.
1110
01:50:13,834 --> 01:50:17,713
Basically, anything that
makes you think about sex.
1111
01:52:26,299 --> 01:52:28,468
Stop it.
1112
01:52:32,597 --> 01:52:35,683
Joe has something
she'd like to share.
1113
01:52:36,934 --> 01:52:39,354
- My name is Joe.
- Hi, Joe.
1114
01:52:39,520 --> 01:52:41,314
And I'm a sex addict,
1115
01:52:41,481 --> 01:52:45,735
but I haven't had sex
for three weeks and five days.
1116
01:52:48,989 --> 01:52:50,073
Tell us how you did it, Joe.
1117
01:52:50,240 --> 01:52:53,368
- You brought notes?
- Yes.
1118
01:52:58,706 --> 01:53:03,754
Dear everyone,
don't think it's been easy,
1119
01:53:03,920 --> 01:53:07,422
but I understand now
that we are all alike.
1120
01:53:22,479 --> 01:53:26,817
- Are you okay, Joe?
- Yes, yes.
1121
01:53:31,280 --> 01:53:33,240
Would you like a glass of water?
1122
01:53:35,951 --> 01:53:37,537
Thank you.
1123
01:53:46,295 --> 01:53:48,423
Would you rather share another time?
1124
01:53:54,219 --> 01:53:56,597
No, I'd like to speak.
1125
01:54:01,643 --> 01:54:06,898
Dear everyone,
don't think it's been easy,
1126
01:54:07,065 --> 01:54:09,276
but I understand now
1127
01:54:09,443 --> 01:54:13,447
that we're not
and never will be alike.
1128
01:54:15,699 --> 01:54:20,412
I'm not like you,
who fucks to be validated
1129
01:54:20,579 --> 01:54:23,123
and might just as well give up
putting cocks inside you.
1130
01:54:23,290 --> 01:54:26,961
You already got your bloody kick
a long time ago
1131
01:54:27,127 --> 01:54:29,713
when it turned out that someone
was even bothered to fuck you.
1132
01:54:29,879 --> 01:54:31,756
And I'm not like you.
1133
01:54:31,924 --> 01:54:33,800
Eat yourself to death if you want.
1134
01:54:33,968 --> 01:54:36,053
I have no pity for you.
1135
01:54:36,220 --> 01:54:37,930
All you want is to be filled up,
1136
01:54:38,097 --> 01:54:43,102
and whether it's by a man
or by tons of disgusting slop
1137
01:54:43,268 --> 01:54:45,187
makes no difference,
1138
01:54:45,354 --> 01:54:47,564
because it's all just
a pathetic attempt
1139
01:54:47,732 --> 01:54:50,608
at filling out
your own resounding emptiness
1140
01:54:50,817 --> 01:54:55,655
and hiding your ridiculous
egocentric self-loathing.
1141
01:54:55,822 --> 01:54:58,324
And I'm definitely not like you.
1142
01:54:58,491 --> 01:55:02,662
That empathy you claim is a lie
1143
01:55:02,829 --> 01:55:06,875
because all you are
is society's morality police,
1144
01:55:07,041 --> 01:55:12,171
whose duty is to erase my obscenity
from the surface of the Earth,
1145
01:55:12,338 --> 01:55:15,174
so that the bourgeoisie
won't feel sick.
1146
01:55:18,386 --> 01:55:20,054
I'm not like you.
1147
01:55:21,264 --> 01:55:26,019
I am a nymphomaniac,
and I love myself for being one,
1148
01:55:26,185 --> 01:55:30,565
but above all, I love my cunt
1149
01:55:30,732 --> 01:55:33,860
and my filthy, dirty lust.
1150
01:55:57,216 --> 01:55:59,343
What just happened?
1151
01:55:59,510 --> 01:56:03,556
I didn't get that,
with the car that burned.
1152
01:56:03,722 --> 01:56:05,308
No, I'm sorry.
1153
01:56:05,474 --> 01:56:09,103
I was just in too much of
a hurry to get to the last chapter.
1154
01:56:19,156 --> 01:56:21,158
It's dawning.
1155
01:56:21,325 --> 01:56:23,953
How can you tell?
1156
01:56:24,119 --> 01:56:26,872
It's... it's just a slight coloring.
1157
01:56:27,039 --> 01:56:30,459
I know because I've stood here
so often at this time.
1158
01:56:31,836 --> 01:56:34,170
You could say
I've developed an ability
1159
01:56:34,337 --> 01:56:38,132
to see dawn before everyone else.
1160
01:56:41,803 --> 01:56:44,639
Then you understand
what I mean when I say
1161
01:56:44,806 --> 01:56:49,060
that twilight suddenly appeared
at this point in my story.
1162
01:56:50,812 --> 01:56:54,440
I understood that society
had no room for me,
1163
01:56:54,608 --> 01:56:59,153
and I had no room for society
and never had.
1164
01:57:00,905 --> 01:57:03,199
It would've been much, much easier
1165
01:57:03,366 --> 01:57:05,619
to have realized that earlier on,
1166
01:57:05,785 --> 01:57:08,955
but suddenly,
1167
01:57:09,122 --> 01:57:11,875
my senses unfolded dramatically.
1168
01:57:13,710 --> 01:57:17,714
To go from the respectable
daylight side of society
1169
01:57:17,881 --> 01:57:20,259
to the shady, nocturnal side
1170
01:57:21,134 --> 01:57:23,345
was like changing sides in a war.
1171
01:57:24,428 --> 01:57:26,889
You put your old army behind you,
1172
01:57:27,055 --> 01:57:30,434
and suddenly, the next second,
you're swallowed by the new one.
1173
01:57:30,601 --> 01:57:32,978
There's no in between.
1174
01:57:47,076 --> 01:57:49,078
I'm sure it was quite natural for you
1175
01:57:49,245 --> 01:57:51,580
to furnish your room
as a monk's cell,
1176
01:57:51,747 --> 01:57:56,252
but as an inspiration
for this story, chapter headings
1177
01:57:56,419 --> 01:57:58,546
hasn't been easy.
1178
01:57:58,712 --> 01:58:01,799
There's simply nothing
left for me to use.
1179
01:58:03,384 --> 01:58:05,386
Well, I'm sorry about that.
1180
01:58:06,720 --> 01:58:09,265
But if I may, I can give you a tip.
1181
01:58:10,641 --> 01:58:12,518
Yes, please.
1182
01:58:12,685 --> 01:58:15,395
You know, I occupy myself
mostly with texts,
1183
01:58:15,562 --> 01:58:18,899
but sometimes the text can seem so...
1184
01:58:19,066 --> 01:58:22,945
so empty, so unfathomably empty.
1185
01:58:23,111 --> 01:58:27,074
It could be the best text
by the most famous author.
1186
01:58:27,240 --> 01:58:30,869
The solution might be
to change your point of view.
1187
01:58:32,580 --> 01:58:34,540
I don't get that.
1188
01:58:34,707 --> 01:58:39,878
Things hide
when they become familiar.
1189
01:58:40,045 --> 01:58:44,049
But if you look at them
from another angle,
1190
01:58:44,216 --> 01:58:47,010
they might take on a new meaning.
1191
01:58:58,146 --> 01:58:59,440
You're right.
1192
01:59:00,566 --> 01:59:05,195
Before this was just the stain
from the tea I threw.
1193
01:59:06,655 --> 01:59:09,324
Can you see what it could be?
1194
01:59:10,783 --> 01:59:12,118
A revolver!
1195
01:59:12,285 --> 01:59:15,830
No, a revolver has a drum
that revolves.
1196
01:59:15,997 --> 01:59:17,999
It's a pistol.
1197
01:59:18,166 --> 01:59:20,877
Can you see what kind it could be?
1198
01:59:21,043 --> 01:59:24,172
No, I don't remember anything
like that from my literature.
1199
01:59:24,339 --> 01:59:26,758
But it's something
I can remember from mine.
1200
01:59:26,924 --> 01:59:31,221
- Ian Fleming.
- Not familiar.
1201
01:59:31,388 --> 01:59:34,641
If you haven't read that,
you haven't read anything at all.
1202
01:59:36,018 --> 01:59:39,021
This could be,
with a little imagination,
1203
01:59:39,187 --> 01:59:42,815
a Walther PPK automatic,
1204
01:59:42,983 --> 01:59:45,235
the same gun that was issued to Bond,
1205
01:59:45,402 --> 01:59:48,822
after his preferred pistol,
the Beretta, had jammed.
1206
01:59:50,615 --> 01:59:52,034
Is that something you can use?
1207
01:59:53,994 --> 01:59:55,913
Yes, it is.
1208
02:00:05,546 --> 02:00:10,051
Whether I left
society or it left me, I cannot say.
1209
02:00:10,217 --> 02:00:13,345
I suppose you could make
an argument for both sides.
1210
02:00:14,806 --> 02:00:16,808
I was on my way to the shady side
1211
02:00:16,974 --> 02:00:20,352
of the debt collecting business,
which, among other things,
1212
02:00:20,520 --> 02:00:23,648
involves stuff like
burning people's cars.
1213
02:00:25,692 --> 02:00:29,612
I had for a long time
known about this man, L.
1214
02:00:34,909 --> 02:00:37,119
Hi, my name is Joe.
1215
02:00:37,286 --> 02:00:41,207
I know that. Come in.
1216
02:00:45,837 --> 02:00:47,797
I'm looking for a job.
1217
02:00:49,342 --> 02:00:50,758
I've been working in an office,
1218
02:00:50,925 --> 02:00:53,428
and I was never really good at it.
1219
02:00:53,595 --> 02:00:57,224
I can understand that.
I mean, what's the point?
1220
02:00:59,892 --> 02:01:03,688
I've thought of you now and then
and wondered when you'd show up.
1221
02:01:07,359 --> 02:01:11,363
My lifestyle is relatively expensive,
1222
02:01:13,198 --> 02:01:16,659
and I need a fair amount
of free time for a sideline.
1223
02:01:16,826 --> 02:01:18,745
Of course. I already know that.
1224
02:01:18,911 --> 02:01:21,789
I believe I possess
some qualifications
1225
02:01:21,957 --> 02:01:24,209
and that I'm rather unscrupulous.
1226
02:01:24,376 --> 02:01:27,963
I know all about your qualifications
and they're excellent.
1227
02:01:28,130 --> 02:01:31,758
And you have already proven you
are unscrupulous by coming here.
1228
02:01:34,344 --> 02:01:38,807
I would suggest that you start
your own little business
1229
02:01:38,974 --> 02:01:40,851
with my help.
1230
02:01:41,018 --> 02:01:45,021
I understand you possess
a great deal of insight
1231
02:01:45,187 --> 02:01:48,065
about a rather broad spectrum of men.
1232
02:01:49,400 --> 02:01:53,487
This could be, or should be,
capitalized on.
1233
02:01:53,655 --> 02:01:56,157
What should I do?
1234
02:01:56,323 --> 02:01:59,285
I facilitate certain assignments
for my humble firm
1235
02:01:59,451 --> 02:02:01,538
as part of a debt
collection business.
1236
02:02:01,704 --> 02:02:04,206
In other words, I need subcontractors
1237
02:02:04,373 --> 02:02:07,084
who can put moderate pressure
on individuals,
1238
02:02:07,251 --> 02:02:11,172
with whom my clients rightly
or wrongly have a bone to pick.
1239
02:02:11,338 --> 02:02:13,800
- Understand?
- Extortion.
1240
02:02:13,966 --> 02:02:15,760
No. No, no, no, no.
1241
02:02:15,927 --> 02:02:20,682
I always prefer
the term 'debt collection.'
1242
02:02:22,392 --> 02:02:24,060
- Yeah.
- I refrain from judging
1243
02:02:24,226 --> 02:02:28,481
whether my clients' wishes
are legitimate or otherwise,
1244
02:02:28,606 --> 02:02:32,944
a point of view I strongly
recommend you follow.
1245
02:02:34,611 --> 02:02:39,783
I'm still unsure of what it is
I should do.
1246
02:02:39,950 --> 02:02:42,035
Well, you'll need two thugs,
1247
02:02:42,203 --> 02:02:44,746
and I can think of two good ones.
1248
02:02:44,913 --> 02:02:49,460
They both have a lot of experience
and can show you the ropes.
1249
02:02:50,586 --> 02:02:52,463
That's interesting.
1250
02:02:52,629 --> 02:02:55,632
It's not at all interesting.
1251
02:02:55,799 --> 02:02:58,052
Most interesting thing about it was
1252
02:02:58,219 --> 02:03:01,097
how easily I dedicated
myself to crime.
1253
02:03:01,263 --> 02:03:03,474
My main qualification, of course,
1254
02:03:03,640 --> 02:03:06,727
was my considerable experience
with men and sex.
1255
02:03:06,893 --> 02:03:10,940
But even my more specialized
skills came in handy.
1256
02:03:32,627 --> 02:03:36,506
No, now this is not how it goes.
1257
02:03:36,673 --> 02:03:39,009
You have to wait until you're hit.
1258
02:03:41,720 --> 02:03:45,431
The two helpers that
L had recommended were okay,
1259
02:03:45,599 --> 02:03:49,102
but they were predisposed
to a rather repetitive technique,
1260
02:03:49,269 --> 02:03:53,064
which consisted of creating
as much havoc as possible
1261
02:03:53,231 --> 02:03:54,650
with a pair of iron bars.
1262
02:04:10,332 --> 02:04:14,670
Destroying your things doesn't
seem to have much effect on you.
1263
02:04:14,836 --> 02:04:16,297
The only thing worth mentioning
1264
02:04:16,463 --> 02:04:18,673
from my first years as a collector
1265
02:04:18,839 --> 02:04:22,593
was the story of an unusually
sober-minded,
1266
02:04:22,760 --> 02:04:25,555
and for that reason vulnerable, man.
1267
02:04:25,721 --> 02:04:28,599
The dirt I threatened
to go public with
1268
02:04:28,766 --> 02:04:32,270
was normally within
my core competence: sex.
1269
02:04:33,146 --> 02:04:37,775
But for once, here was a man
I was unable to read sexually,
1270
02:04:37,942 --> 02:04:40,570
so I became persistent.
1271
02:04:40,736 --> 02:04:42,572
Tie him to the chair.
1272
02:04:44,240 --> 02:04:45,908
Don't hurt him.
1273
02:04:49,245 --> 02:04:51,497
I can't find a stain on you,
1274
02:04:52,373 --> 02:04:55,335
but my experience tells me
that no man is spotless.
1275
02:04:56,544 --> 02:05:00,548
Luckily, you're equipped with
a very reliable truth detector.
1276
02:05:11,141 --> 02:05:14,019
I'm going to tell you a few stories.
1277
02:05:14,186 --> 02:05:16,563
All you have to do is listen.
1278
02:05:18,607 --> 02:05:21,737
You're in a bar watching a couple...
1279
02:05:21,903 --> 02:05:24,447
I now meticulously
went through the catalogue
1280
02:05:24,615 --> 02:05:27,826
of sexual deviations
in fictional form.
1281
02:05:27,993 --> 02:05:30,912
Stories about sado-masochism,
1282
02:05:31,079 --> 02:05:35,208
fetishism, homosexuality,
you name it.
1283
02:05:35,375 --> 02:05:37,085
But he didn't react.
1284
02:05:37,252 --> 02:05:39,713
And I'd almost given up
when I said...
1285
02:05:39,880 --> 02:05:44,510
On your way home,
you walk through the park.
1286
02:05:49,264 --> 02:05:50,974
And something makes you stop.
1287
02:05:52,100 --> 02:05:53,935
You hear something.
1288
02:06:08,158 --> 02:06:09,867
Yes, that's it.
1289
02:06:10,034 --> 02:06:13,746
You can hear the children
in the playground.
1290
02:06:14,872 --> 02:06:19,335
You sit on a bench nearby
and watch them play.
1291
02:06:19,502 --> 02:06:22,672
There's a little boy in shorts.
1292
02:06:24,049 --> 02:06:26,259
He's playing in the sandpit.
1293
02:06:28,261 --> 02:06:33,141
He looks at you with his blue eyes.
1294
02:06:34,684 --> 02:06:36,394
He smiles at you.
1295
02:06:36,561 --> 02:06:38,729
I think he comes to you.
1296
02:06:38,939 --> 02:06:44,069
He sits on your lap
and looks up at your face.
1297
02:06:44,735 --> 02:06:48,990
He says he'd like
to come home with you.
1298
02:06:53,160 --> 02:06:54,411
At home,
1299
02:06:54,578 --> 02:06:57,873
you can't fight the idea
of being naked together.
1300
02:06:58,874 --> 02:07:01,335
He crawls all over you.
1301
02:07:01,501 --> 02:07:03,128
You get an erection.
1302
02:07:03,295 --> 02:07:05,380
Won't you please stop?
1303
02:07:05,547 --> 02:07:08,300
He lies on his stomach.
1304
02:07:09,093 --> 02:07:11,929
You pull down his pants.
1305
02:07:12,096 --> 02:07:13,723
I'll pay!
1306
02:07:46,129 --> 02:07:48,382
You did what?
1307
02:07:48,548 --> 02:07:50,300
I gave him a blowjob.
1308
02:07:50,467 --> 02:07:54,138
- Why? That pig!
- I took pity on him.
1309
02:07:54,304 --> 02:07:55,639
Pity?
1310
02:07:55,805 --> 02:07:59,309
Yes. I had just destroyed his life.
1311
02:07:59,476 --> 02:08:03,647
Nobody knew his secret,
most probably not even himself.
1312
02:08:04,856 --> 02:08:07,442
He sat there with the shame.
1313
02:08:07,609 --> 02:08:10,862
I suppose I sucked him off
as a kind of apology.
1314
02:08:11,030 --> 02:08:12,072
That's unbelievable.
1315
02:08:13,365 --> 02:08:16,243
No, listen to me.
This is a man who'd succeeded
1316
02:08:16,410 --> 02:08:18,370
in repressing his own desire,
1317
02:08:18,537 --> 02:08:23,667
who had never before given into it,
right up until I forced it out.
1318
02:08:23,833 --> 02:08:26,336
He had lived a life full of denial
1319
02:08:26,503 --> 02:08:28,923
and had never hurt a soul.
1320
02:08:29,089 --> 02:08:31,926
I think that's laudable.
1321
02:08:32,092 --> 02:08:33,135
No matter how much I try,
1322
02:08:33,302 --> 02:08:35,887
I can't find anything laudable
in pedophilia.
1323
02:08:36,054 --> 02:08:38,932
That's because you think
about the perhaps five percent
1324
02:08:39,098 --> 02:08:41,517
who actually hurt children.
1325
02:08:41,685 --> 02:08:46,439
The remaining 95 percent
never live out their fantasies.
1326
02:08:46,605 --> 02:08:49,025
Think about their suffering.
1327
02:08:49,192 --> 02:08:54,113
Sexuality is the strongest force
in human beings.
1328
02:08:54,280 --> 02:08:59,118
To be born with a forbidden
sexuality must be agonizing.
1329
02:08:59,285 --> 02:09:02,706
The pedophile
who manages to get through life
1330
02:09:02,872 --> 02:09:04,958
with the shame of his desire
1331
02:09:05,124 --> 02:09:08,920
while never acting on it,
deserves a bloody medal.
1332
02:09:16,010 --> 02:09:19,639
The writer Thomas Mann said somewhere
1333
02:09:19,806 --> 02:09:21,891
that a temptation resisted
1334
02:09:22,058 --> 02:09:26,355
is not a sin but a test of virtue.
1335
02:09:30,107 --> 02:09:33,736
Wasn't there something
about that writer and boys?
1336
02:09:33,902 --> 02:09:36,489
Yeah, so they say.
1337
02:09:36,655 --> 02:09:39,825
I suppose he dealt with it
by writing them out.
1338
02:09:39,992 --> 02:09:42,745
And he got a medal, a Nobel Prize.
1339
02:09:47,250 --> 02:09:50,378
But there was
another reason for my sympathy,
1340
02:09:50,544 --> 02:09:52,881
which you find so mysterious.
1341
02:09:54,758 --> 02:09:58,762
I saw a man who was carrying
the same cross as myself.
1342
02:10:01,390 --> 02:10:03,475
Loneliness.
1343
02:10:06,686 --> 02:10:09,481
We were both sexual outcasts.
1344
02:10:17,990 --> 02:10:19,991
In any case, some years passed,
1345
02:10:20,158 --> 02:10:23,119
during which my business grew,
1346
02:10:23,286 --> 02:10:27,874
enabling me to step up my
anonymous deposits to Marcel.
1347
02:10:28,792 --> 02:10:32,336
Your business is doing great.
1348
02:10:32,503 --> 02:10:36,299
You complete all the jobs
I give you to perfection.
1349
02:10:36,465 --> 02:10:41,137
And I hear only words of praise
from your other clients, but...
1350
02:10:41,304 --> 02:10:44,223
- But what?
- We aren't getting any younger.
1351
02:10:44,390 --> 02:10:48,394
No, that's for sure.
1352
02:10:48,562 --> 02:10:50,021
I think you're getting to that age
1353
02:10:50,188 --> 02:10:52,190
where you have to start thinking
about a successor.
1354
02:10:52,356 --> 02:10:56,069
I don't need a fucking successor.
1355
02:10:56,235 --> 02:10:57,904
Listen.
1356
02:10:58,071 --> 02:11:01,450
A person should take
their crime seriously.
1357
02:11:01,616 --> 02:11:04,744
You need someone
to be your right hand,
1358
02:11:04,911 --> 02:11:08,748
someone to help you.
A crown princess.
1359
02:11:11,041 --> 02:11:14,295
The normal process is to find out
1360
02:11:14,462 --> 02:11:17,923
what colleagues are in prison,
or are drug addicts,
1361
02:11:18,090 --> 02:11:22,761
and thereby unable to fulfill
their roles as parents.
1362
02:11:22,928 --> 02:11:27,266
Then, you find out
where their kids play football,
1363
02:11:27,433 --> 02:11:29,727
and you get involved.
1364
02:11:29,893 --> 02:11:31,645
You cheer them on
for a couple of years,
1365
02:11:31,812 --> 02:11:35,274
no matter how bad they are.
Actually, the worse, the better.
1366
02:11:35,441 --> 02:11:39,403
That way, gradually, you take on
the role of the parent
1367
02:11:39,570 --> 02:11:43,324
until, in the end,
you have a loyal helper
1368
02:11:43,491 --> 02:11:46,785
that will walk through fire for you.
1369
02:11:46,953 --> 02:11:48,997
Even do time for you.
1370
02:11:52,750 --> 02:11:56,880
It sounds like a kind of
an entrapment you're suggesting.
1371
02:11:57,046 --> 02:12:00,508
- An unsavory entrapment.
- Call it what you want,
1372
02:12:00,674 --> 02:12:04,636
but if you believe at all in
the effects of good parenting,
1373
02:12:04,803 --> 02:12:07,723
that kid will have much greater
opportunities with you
1374
02:12:07,890 --> 02:12:10,308
as a mentor than without.
1375
02:12:10,475 --> 02:12:12,853
And since I like you,
1376
02:12:13,020 --> 02:12:16,857
I've been looking around
for a suitable subject.
1377
02:12:17,024 --> 02:12:22,320
She's 15 years old from
a family of hardened criminals,
1378
02:12:22,487 --> 02:12:24,823
and she's been through a lot.
1379
02:12:24,990 --> 02:12:28,076
Last couple of years
she's been institutionalized.
1380
02:12:28,243 --> 02:12:30,788
Her father's in prison
and her mother died of an overdose.
1381
02:12:30,954 --> 02:12:32,665
She's a smart girl.
1382
02:12:32,831 --> 02:12:34,750
And although
she doesn't play football,
1383
02:12:34,917 --> 02:12:37,711
she does play basketball very badly.
1384
02:12:38,962 --> 02:12:44,343
She's chosen a team sport
because she's lonely.
1385
02:12:44,510 --> 02:12:47,513
I saved the best part for last.
1386
02:12:47,680 --> 02:12:50,641
Her right ear is slightly deformed,
1387
02:12:50,808 --> 02:12:54,519
which she is very ashamed of,
1388
02:12:54,686 --> 02:12:57,689
and of course, this serves
to isolate her even more.
1389
02:12:57,855 --> 02:13:02,194
It makes her an easy target
for even the slightest bit
1390
02:13:02,360 --> 02:13:07,115
of attention
or sign of empathy from you.
1391
02:13:11,078 --> 02:13:14,664
Despite my protests,
the clever L somehow talked me
1392
02:13:14,831 --> 02:13:16,458
into actually having a look at P.
1393
02:13:19,252 --> 02:13:22,630
The longer I watched the poor girl
with the deformed ear,
1394
02:13:22,797 --> 02:13:26,009
the more repulsive
I found the whole plan.
1395
02:13:52,952 --> 02:13:54,954
But as if L had foreseen this,
1396
02:13:55,121 --> 02:14:00,793
the meeting with P filled me
with pity and emotion.
1397
02:14:00,960 --> 02:14:02,670
And without wanting to,
1398
02:14:02,837 --> 02:14:06,090
I found myself,
weekend after weekend,
1399
02:14:06,257 --> 02:14:09,969
at her games
supporting the poor player.
1400
02:14:25,027 --> 02:14:28,572
- Thanks for cheering me on.
- You're welcome.
1401
02:14:28,739 --> 02:14:30,991
You played really well today.
1402
02:14:33,411 --> 02:14:36,079
- No, I didn't.
- You did.
1403
02:14:36,246 --> 02:14:39,291
You really improved yourself lately.
1404
02:14:50,802 --> 02:14:54,556
Sixteen years. Congratulations.
1405
02:14:54,722 --> 02:14:57,517
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1406
02:15:20,290 --> 02:15:21,834
I was proud to introduce P
1407
02:15:22,000 --> 02:15:24,669
to my father's passion and his world.
1408
02:15:27,756 --> 02:15:29,548
It's actually...
1409
02:15:31,008 --> 02:15:34,971
the souls of the trees
that we see in the winter.
1410
02:15:41,393 --> 02:15:44,021
I think they look like human souls.
1411
02:15:48,109 --> 02:15:49,986
Yeah, you're right.
1412
02:15:50,862 --> 02:15:53,615
They do look like human souls.
1413
02:15:53,823 --> 02:15:57,034
Twisted souls, regular souls,
1414
02:15:57,201 --> 02:15:59,286
crazy souls,
1415
02:15:59,454 --> 02:16:03,124
all depending on the kind
of lives human beings lead.
1416
02:16:06,002 --> 02:16:10,423
Then that must be
Miss Williamson from number 21.
1417
02:16:10,590 --> 02:16:13,092
That's not a very nice thing
to say about Miss Williamson.
1418
02:16:13,259 --> 02:16:16,804
But she's always angry.
She has a monster in her belly.
1419
02:16:16,971 --> 02:16:19,516
Well, she does have
an ulcer in her belly
1420
02:16:19,682 --> 02:16:21,350
that I've been treating
for the last 15 years.
1421
02:16:23,935 --> 02:16:26,355
And sure enough,
one of the following days
1422
02:16:26,522 --> 02:16:28,774
my dad dragged me
into the woods again.
1423
02:16:28,940 --> 02:16:32,736
I found my tree. My soul tree.
1424
02:16:35,071 --> 02:16:40,827
And no, it's not that one, okay,
'cause then I would be dead.
1425
02:16:42,746 --> 02:16:44,956
This is my tree.
1426
02:16:48,335 --> 02:16:52,464
- It's not an ash tree.
- No, it's an oak tree.
1427
02:16:55,676 --> 02:16:57,553
It has two trunks.
1428
02:16:57,719 --> 02:17:00,932
Yeah, isn't it great?
1429
02:17:01,098 --> 02:17:06,312
It shows itself to both sides,
the lake and the forest.
1430
02:17:16,321 --> 02:17:20,616
But, Dad, how does
a tree get two trunks?
1431
02:17:22,243 --> 02:17:26,206
The most common reason
is that the top broke
1432
02:17:26,372 --> 02:17:28,249
when it was very young.
1433
02:17:28,416 --> 02:17:32,253
That means
that you've been broken once.
1434
02:17:32,420 --> 02:17:34,464
Have you, Dad?
1435
02:17:40,679 --> 02:17:43,890
It seems that it can be
rather revealing...
1436
02:17:45,350 --> 02:17:47,644
to find your soul tree.
1437
02:17:51,648 --> 02:17:57,278
My father found his soul tree,
but I've never found mine.
1438
02:17:57,821 --> 02:18:02,993
'You will know it when you see it, '
is what he said.
1439
02:18:09,582 --> 02:18:15,421
Kitchen and dining room.
And in here...
1440
02:18:17,257 --> 02:18:19,592
When P reached the age of maturity
1441
02:18:19,759 --> 02:18:22,052
and I became her personal adviser,
1442
02:18:22,220 --> 02:18:24,722
I asked her to move in with me.
1443
02:18:33,148 --> 02:18:35,900
Let me see you with your hair up.
1444
02:18:36,067 --> 02:18:38,569
You're so pretty.
1445
02:18:50,623 --> 02:18:54,335
All this time
all my sexual activity had stopped.
1446
02:18:54,502 --> 02:18:59,049
My groin was one big sore
from my abuse that wouldn't heal,
1447
02:18:59,215 --> 02:19:02,052
and made even
masturbation impossible.
1448
02:19:06,306 --> 02:19:09,600
I experienced definite
abstinence symptoms...
1449
02:19:09,768 --> 02:19:11,728
fever and cramps.
1450
02:19:36,712 --> 02:19:38,464
Joe, what's going on?
1451
02:19:40,674 --> 02:19:43,469
- Careful.
- We need to clear this up.
1452
02:19:52,352 --> 02:19:55,313
I just get this sometimes.
1453
02:19:58,649 --> 02:20:01,152
It's okay. It's okay.
1454
02:20:05,240 --> 02:20:07,742
Do you want to go back to bed?
1455
02:20:09,744 --> 02:20:11,954
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
1456
02:20:28,096 --> 02:20:29,973
I love you, Joe.
1457
02:20:30,140 --> 02:20:31,892
I love you, too.
1458
02:20:33,309 --> 02:20:35,645
I don't mean it in that way.
1459
02:20:38,688 --> 02:20:42,109
Come on, it's late.
You should go back to bed.
1460
02:20:43,652 --> 02:20:44,694
Good night.
1461
02:20:47,572 --> 02:20:49,992
Perhaps she really loved you.
1462
02:20:54,079 --> 02:20:57,457
She was so very young.
1463
02:20:57,625 --> 02:21:01,921
Maybe she, too, discovered
her cunt at the age of two.
1464
02:21:02,087 --> 02:21:04,214
Maybe earlier.
1465
02:21:04,381 --> 02:21:05,925
I couldn't accept it.
1466
02:21:06,091 --> 02:21:09,887
Perhaps because you
really wanted it to be true.
1467
02:21:11,972 --> 02:21:13,641
Perhaps I hoped it.
1468
02:21:13,808 --> 02:21:17,144
It's very touching, all this about P.
1469
02:21:19,354 --> 02:21:22,942
Then you've probably
misunderstood the whole thing.
1470
02:21:23,108 --> 02:21:26,612
Shall we get the story over
and done with?
1471
02:21:54,764 --> 02:21:56,808
Don't.
1472
02:21:58,018 --> 02:22:00,104
I wanna see you.
1473
02:22:00,270 --> 02:22:01,271
- Don't.
- Why?
1474
02:22:01,438 --> 02:22:02,897
- Please, don't.
- Why not?
1475
02:22:03,065 --> 02:22:06,610
No. No, I have a wound.
1476
02:22:06,776 --> 02:22:08,778
- I have a wound.
- It doesn't matter.
1477
02:22:08,946 --> 02:22:12,824
- No, you don't understand.
- I have that thing with my ear.
1478
02:22:12,992 --> 02:22:15,660
I'm so ashamed.
1479
02:22:52,030 --> 02:22:54,115
Do you like me?
1480
02:22:57,702 --> 02:22:59,704
You're so beautiful.
1481
02:24:37,385 --> 02:24:40,138
There's one thing I don't understand.
1482
02:24:40,972 --> 02:24:43,683
Did she know what you did
for a living?
1483
02:24:43,850 --> 02:24:49,022
P was very discreet
and a girl of few words.
1484
02:24:50,524 --> 02:24:52,817
Oddly, although I worked
strange hours,
1485
02:24:52,984 --> 02:24:54,861
she never asked about my work.
1486
02:24:56,613 --> 02:24:59,448
But one day she had a question.
1487
02:25:01,074 --> 02:25:02,701
Joe.
1488
02:25:07,748 --> 02:25:11,585
Why did you start
coming to my basketball matches?
1489
02:25:13,671 --> 02:25:16,340
It wasn't a coincidence, was it?
1490
02:25:21,929 --> 02:25:24,890
No, it wasn't a coincidence.
1491
02:25:28,686 --> 02:25:31,355
I didn't tell you because I...
1492
02:25:31,522 --> 02:25:34,525
I thought you'd be upset...
1493
02:25:35,902 --> 02:25:38,779
and that you'd get angry at me.
1494
02:25:38,947 --> 02:25:41,449
I won't get angry-
1495
02:25:45,995 --> 02:25:48,122
What I do...
1496
02:25:49,664 --> 02:25:52,334
My job isn't a normal job.
1497
02:25:52,500 --> 02:25:54,627
It's not legal.
1498
02:25:54,795 --> 02:25:57,672
No one in my family
does anything legal.
1499
02:26:03,345 --> 02:26:07,766
A man that's helped me in my business
suggested that I watched you.
1500
02:26:10,686 --> 02:26:14,982
The plan was that I...
I should look at you
1501
02:26:15,148 --> 02:26:19,444
to see whether one day I could
use you in my work.
1502
02:26:19,612 --> 02:26:22,573
I should make friends with you
1503
02:26:22,740 --> 02:26:25,951
because I knew you didn't
have a mother or a father.
1504
02:26:26,118 --> 02:26:27,953
What's wrong with that?
1505
02:26:28,120 --> 02:26:31,707
Don't you see how evil that plan was?
1506
02:26:31,874 --> 02:26:35,586
- I felt terrible.
- You shouldn't have.
1507
02:26:35,753 --> 02:26:37,713
Why not?
1508
02:26:40,507 --> 02:26:42,925
Because if you hadn't...
1509
02:26:44,886 --> 02:26:47,138
we'd never have met.
1510
02:26:51,934 --> 02:26:56,148
I'd like to go with you
to work next time.
1511
02:26:56,314 --> 02:26:57,732
No.
1512
02:27:06,783 --> 02:27:08,326
Will you think about it?
1513
02:27:08,493 --> 02:27:09,869
- No.
- Yes.
1514
02:27:10,037 --> 02:27:11,079
- No.
- Yes.
1515
02:27:11,496 --> 02:27:14,416
She didn't take no for an answer.
1516
02:27:14,582 --> 02:27:16,834
No, of course not.
1517
02:27:17,002 --> 02:27:20,422
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
1518
02:27:22,715 --> 02:27:28,221
And in the throes of love,
I was weak and no match for her.
1519
02:27:31,308 --> 02:27:34,936
With the risk
of being too clever for myself,
1520
02:27:35,102 --> 02:27:39,565
social inheritance
is an irrefutable fact.
1521
02:27:40,942 --> 02:27:45,196
If anyone knew about the laws
of the street, it must've been P.
1522
02:27:46,405 --> 02:27:50,117
You're more right than you know.
1523
02:28:10,180 --> 02:28:12,600
- Let's shoot the fucker.
- No, no!
1524
02:28:12,766 --> 02:28:15,894
Stop! Stop!
1525
02:28:19,272 --> 02:28:21,650
We don't use firearms.
1526
02:28:22,818 --> 02:28:26,613
- I'd like to have the gun.
- The others have weapons, too.
1527
02:28:28,072 --> 02:28:29,616
Well, I didn't know that,
1528
02:28:29,782 --> 02:28:31,701
but in any case,
you're not to have one.
1529
02:28:32,827 --> 02:28:34,496
But guns aren't dangerous.
1530
02:28:34,662 --> 02:28:37,081
It depends on how you use them.
1531
02:28:37,249 --> 02:28:38,708
Yes, exactly.
1532
02:28:38,875 --> 02:28:40,377
I wasn't going to shoot him.
1533
02:28:41,419 --> 02:28:43,588
We wouldn't have gotten
any money out of him that way.
1534
02:28:43,755 --> 02:28:45,632
Can I have the gun?
1535
02:28:50,262 --> 02:28:51,971
Thank you.
1536
02:29:11,533 --> 02:29:13,576
You're evil.
1537
02:29:17,579 --> 02:29:21,667
And now I'm afraid
one of those coincidences
1538
02:29:21,834 --> 02:29:27,006
you have such a hard time with
occurred with a very special person.
1539
02:29:28,257 --> 02:29:30,927
It was P's job to take us
to the debtors,
1540
02:29:31,093 --> 02:29:33,220
so until I saw the name on the door,
1541
02:29:33,345 --> 02:29:35,723
I had no idea whose house we were at.
1542
02:29:38,100 --> 02:29:42,564
This is Acer siccharium.
1543
02:29:42,730 --> 02:29:45,149
- Saccharinum.
- Saccharinum, yeah, that.
1544
02:29:45,316 --> 02:29:46,484
I said that.
1545
02:29:55,618 --> 02:29:57,454
Are you sure this is the right place?
1546
02:29:57,620 --> 02:29:58,420
Yeah.
1547
02:30:05,462 --> 02:30:11,132
I was thinking maybe it's time for
you to do this one on your own.
1548
02:30:12,050 --> 02:30:13,344
Yeah?
1549
02:30:15,262 --> 02:30:18,265
- Thank you, Joe.
- I don't want anything destroyed,
1550
02:30:19,225 --> 02:30:21,518
and I don't want anybody hurt.
1551
02:30:21,685 --> 02:30:26,940
Okay? You just show yourself and
offer him a reasonable payment plan.
1552
02:30:27,108 --> 02:30:31,737
If you say so, of course
that's how I'll do it.
1553
02:30:47,003 --> 02:30:49,588
Whether the feeling
when I saw Jerome again was love,
1554
02:30:49,755 --> 02:30:51,382
I couldn't say.
1555
02:30:54,343 --> 02:30:56,929
But it was a feeling...
1556
02:30:57,096 --> 02:30:59,806
and far stronger than I liked.
1557
02:31:11,026 --> 02:31:14,946
I was actually
walking home through the alley here.
1558
02:31:15,113 --> 02:31:17,407
Your two neighborhoods
are totally different,
1559
02:31:17,573 --> 02:31:20,952
but still so close together
that the shortest route
1560
02:31:21,119 --> 02:31:25,123
from Jerome's house towards
the center was through the alley.
1561
02:31:32,088 --> 02:31:34,090
Hello!
1562
02:31:34,257 --> 02:31:38,136
- How did it go?
- Brilliant.
1563
02:31:38,344 --> 02:31:41,432
Yeah, really well.
1564
02:31:41,598 --> 02:31:44,184
I made a reasonable payment plan
like you told me to.
1565
02:31:44,351 --> 02:31:49,230
- How did he look?
- Scared.
1566
02:31:49,398 --> 02:31:51,774
How old did he look?
1567
02:31:51,941 --> 02:31:55,278
I don't know. Ancient?
1568
02:32:15,131 --> 02:32:18,884
Jerome was to pay
off his debt in six payments.
1569
02:32:19,052 --> 02:32:21,804
Every time P
went to Jerome to collect,
1570
02:32:21,972 --> 02:32:26,726
I'd pace around restlessly
until she was back home again.
1571
02:32:29,020 --> 02:32:32,316
I even had to find my mother's
sad old solitaire cards
1572
02:32:32,483 --> 02:32:35,527
in order to make the hours pass.
1573
02:32:42,951 --> 02:32:44,828
Each night I was less reassured
1574
02:32:44,995 --> 02:32:48,039
by her coming home
than the night before.
1575
02:32:48,206 --> 02:32:51,459
The question of whether jealousy is
the fear of sharing
1576
02:32:51,626 --> 02:32:54,921
or the fear of losing
was of little interest to me.
1577
02:32:55,088 --> 02:32:58,216
But yes, it was a fact
that this unworthy feeling
1578
02:32:58,383 --> 02:33:03,096
I had managed to suppress
for so long was creeping up on me.
1579
02:33:05,932 --> 02:33:08,685
The evening she was
to collect the final payment,
1580
02:33:08,852 --> 02:33:10,687
she didn't kiss me.
1581
02:33:10,854 --> 02:33:13,189
I took it to be forgetfulness,
1582
02:33:13,356 --> 02:33:17,277
but the hours passed,
and she didn't return.
1583
02:33:24,367 --> 02:33:29,581
Every time I saw car lights,
I thought it was P being driven home.
1584
02:34:28,180 --> 02:34:30,265
So the next morning I took a trip
1585
02:34:30,432 --> 02:34:33,602
to the round hills
just outside of town
1586
02:34:33,769 --> 02:34:37,147
that I visited with my school class
when I was 12,
1587
02:34:37,314 --> 02:34:40,776
to say a symbolic goodbye.
1588
02:34:44,404 --> 02:34:47,116
I had decided to flee.
1589
02:34:47,282 --> 02:34:51,787
I couldn't stay in this town
with her and him.
1590
02:34:51,954 --> 02:34:56,250
I had cowardly made a plan
to escape and head south.
1591
02:34:56,416 --> 02:34:57,752
Like from some ice age
1592
02:34:57,918 --> 02:35:01,088
I didn't have the guts
to turn around and face.
1593
02:35:02,256 --> 02:35:06,469
But the goodbye was sad
and strangely unfulfilling.
1594
02:35:06,636 --> 02:35:10,598
And something called me on to
seek further up the mountain.
1595
02:36:34,222 --> 02:36:36,808
I understand dictators
who commit murder.
1596
02:36:39,769 --> 02:36:42,647
What was Hitler,
when it all boils down,
1597
02:36:42,814 --> 02:36:46,818
other than a man to whom society
gave free reins?
1598
02:36:49,362 --> 02:36:52,657
Well, that was
just what we were missing.
1599
02:36:52,824 --> 02:36:56,661
You understand racists,
you have a soft spot for pedophiles,
1600
02:36:56,828 --> 02:36:59,748
and, of course,
now at the finishing line,
1601
02:36:59,914 --> 02:37:01,665
you have to sympathize
1602
02:37:01,832 --> 02:37:04,461
with the greatest mass
murderers of history.
1603
02:37:04,628 --> 02:37:06,880
What I mean is...
1604
02:37:08,548 --> 02:37:11,092
It's said to be difficult
to take someone's life.
1605
02:37:11,301 --> 02:37:15,138
I would've said
that it's more difficult not to
1606
02:37:15,305 --> 02:37:19,100
when, as a dictator or as me,
1607
02:37:19,268 --> 02:37:21,645
you've nothing to lose.
1608
02:37:23,980 --> 02:37:25,232
For a human being,
1609
02:37:25,399 --> 02:37:28,610
killing is the most
natural thing in the world.
1610
02:37:28,777 --> 02:37:31,030
We're created for it.
1611
02:37:33,490 --> 02:37:35,159
Wonderful.
1612
02:38:25,917 --> 02:38:27,461
No, get off!
1613
02:38:37,679 --> 02:38:39,848
Fireman's grip.
1614
02:42:26,072 --> 02:42:30,618
Fill all my holes, please.
1615
02:42:55,310 --> 02:42:58,063
I still don't know
why the gun didn't work.
1616
02:42:58,230 --> 02:43:02,733
I did check to make sure that there
were bullets in the magazine.
1617
02:43:02,900 --> 02:43:05,569
It simply malfunctioned.
1618
02:43:05,736 --> 02:43:08,322
Just like Bond's Beretta.
1619
02:43:08,489 --> 02:43:11,575
I think I know enough to say
that even if you had rounds
1620
02:43:11,743 --> 02:43:13,745
in the magazine of the Walther PPK,
1621
02:43:13,911 --> 02:43:17,414
if you'd taken off the safety,
1622
02:43:17,581 --> 02:43:20,334
you cannot shoot
until you've racked the gun.
1623
02:43:21,293 --> 02:43:23,671
You pull and release
1624
02:43:23,838 --> 02:43:26,090
the sliding mechanism.
1625
02:43:26,298 --> 02:43:28,300
And P hadn't done it
because as she said,
1626
02:43:28,467 --> 02:43:31,095
she had no intention
of shooting the man.
1627
02:43:33,264 --> 02:43:36,267
I don't know about Bond,
but I assume it has to be apparent
1628
02:43:36,433 --> 02:43:37,935
from his books and his films
1629
02:43:38,102 --> 02:43:42,398
that you have
to rack an automatic pistol.
1630
02:43:43,691 --> 02:43:45,402
Of course, you're right.
1631
02:43:46,403 --> 02:43:50,072
I've seen it in films
a thousand times.
1632
02:43:54,993 --> 02:43:56,161
It's morning.
1633
02:43:58,789 --> 02:44:02,418
- The snow is gone.
- So the sun must be up?
1634
02:44:03,627 --> 02:44:05,546
Yes, there is sun.
1635
02:44:06,880 --> 02:44:08,840
How can you see it?
1636
02:44:09,883 --> 02:44:14,471
This alley's located so that you
never get direct sunlight here,
1637
02:44:14,638 --> 02:44:19,143
but I can see a small reflection
on the building on the other side.
1638
02:44:25,899 --> 02:44:29,695
I've never managed to figure
out where it comes from.
1639
02:44:30,487 --> 02:44:35,409
It must be some interplay
between windows and towers
1640
02:44:35,576 --> 02:44:38,704
and high buildings.
1641
02:44:41,332 --> 02:44:46,461
It's not much, but it's the sun
you get here at my place.
1642
02:44:50,590 --> 02:44:52,342
It's beautiful.
1643
02:45:02,518 --> 02:45:03,729
In the beginning,
1644
02:45:03,895 --> 02:45:05,731
you said that your only sin
1645
02:45:05,897 --> 02:45:09,067
was that you asked
more of the sunset.
1646
02:45:10,652 --> 02:45:14,615
Meaning, I suppose, that you wanted
more from life than was good for you.
1647
02:45:17,325 --> 02:45:21,037
You were a human being
demanding your right,
1648
02:45:21,204 --> 02:45:22,748
and more than that,
1649
02:45:22,914 --> 02:45:26,292
you were a woman demanding her right.
1650
02:45:29,588 --> 02:45:32,298
Does that pardon everything?
1651
02:45:33,675 --> 02:45:37,762
Do you think if two men were to
walk down a train looking for women,
1652
02:45:38,513 --> 02:45:41,682
do you think anybody would have
raised an eyebrow,
1653
02:45:41,891 --> 02:45:44,727
or if a man had led the life you had?
1654
02:45:46,396 --> 02:45:50,983
And the story about Mrs. H.
would've been extremely banal
1655
02:45:51,150 --> 02:45:52,485
if you'd been a man.
1656
02:45:53,694 --> 02:45:56,239
And your conquest
would have been a woman.
1657
02:45:57,240 --> 02:46:01,869
When a man leaves his children
because of desire,
1658
02:46:02,537 --> 02:46:05,331
we accept it with a shrug,
but you as a woman,
1659
02:46:05,790 --> 02:46:08,252
you had to take on a guilt,
1660
02:46:08,585 --> 02:46:11,005
a burden of guilt
that could never be alleviated.
1661
02:46:15,009 --> 02:46:18,470
Your abortion was legal,
but more than anything else,
1662
02:46:18,637 --> 02:46:22,641
it was a punishment
you inflicted upon yourself.
1663
02:46:23,767 --> 02:46:27,021
And all in all,
all the blame and guilt
1664
02:46:27,188 --> 02:46:29,730
that piled up over the years
became too much for you,
1665
02:46:29,898 --> 02:46:31,900
and you reacted aggressively,
1666
02:46:32,067 --> 02:46:35,070
almost like a man, I have to say,
and you fought back.
1667
02:46:36,362 --> 02:46:37,739
You fought back against the gender
1668
02:46:37,906 --> 02:46:42,035
that had been oppressing
and mutilating and killing you
1669
02:46:42,202 --> 02:46:46,707
and billions of women
in the name of religion or ethics,
1670
02:46:46,873 --> 02:46:50,126
or God knows what.
1671
02:46:53,171 --> 02:46:56,091
But I wanted to kill a human being.
1672
02:46:59,511 --> 02:47:01,513
But you didn't.
1673
02:47:03,474 --> 02:47:05,892
Because of a chance event.
1674
02:47:06,059 --> 02:47:08,103
You call it a chance event,
1675
02:47:09,605 --> 02:47:12,399
I call it subconscious resistance.
1676
02:47:12,566 --> 02:47:14,818
On the surface you wanted to kill,
1677
02:47:15,652 --> 02:47:18,071
but deep down,
you celebrated human worth
1678
02:47:19,114 --> 02:47:20,823
in a veil of forgetfulness
1679
02:47:20,990 --> 02:47:25,495
draped itself over your
knowledge of how to rack a gun.
1680
02:47:27,872 --> 02:47:30,165
Although all this
sounds frighteningly close
1681
02:47:30,333 --> 02:47:33,294
to the clichés of our times...
1682
02:47:33,461 --> 02:47:38,424
and I'm predisposed to knock
holes in your arguments...
1683
02:47:40,092 --> 02:47:42,262
I'm too tired.
1684
02:47:42,428 --> 02:47:43,721
Well, that's good.
1685
02:47:47,308 --> 02:47:49,352
Why don't you lay down?
1686
02:47:51,646 --> 02:47:53,439
Yes.
1687
02:48:04,784 --> 02:48:07,453
Let me just say that telling my story
1688
02:48:08,496 --> 02:48:11,498
as you insisted, or permitted,
1689
02:48:13,375 --> 02:48:16,003
has put me at ease.
1690
02:48:17,504 --> 02:48:23,260
At this moment,
my addiction is very clear to me.
1691
02:48:25,637 --> 02:48:27,556
And I've come to a decision.
1692
02:48:30,100 --> 02:48:36,816
Even though only one in a million,
as my dubious therapist said,
1693
02:48:38,067 --> 02:48:42,279
succeed in mentally,
1694
02:48:42,446 --> 02:48:44,657
bodily,
1695
02:48:44,824 --> 02:48:47,034
and in her heart
1696
02:48:47,201 --> 02:48:52,372
ridding herself of her sexuality...
1697
02:48:52,540 --> 02:48:55,084
this is now my goal.
1698
02:48:55,835 --> 02:48:58,838
But is that a life worth living?
1699
02:49:01,549 --> 02:49:04,551
It's the only way I can live it.
1700
02:49:08,388 --> 02:49:12,183
I will stand up against all odds...
1701
02:49:16,813 --> 02:49:20,234
just like a deformed tree on a hill.
1702
02:49:28,325 --> 02:49:32,829
I will muster
all of my stubbornness...
1703
02:49:36,333 --> 02:49:38,502
my strength...
1704
02:49:40,712 --> 02:49:43,423
my masculine aggression.
1705
02:49:45,717 --> 02:49:49,304
But most of all I want to say thanks
1706
02:49:49,471 --> 02:49:54,101
to my new and maybe first friend.
1707
02:49:54,268 --> 02:49:57,145
Thank you, Seligman...
1708
02:49:58,813 --> 02:50:02,191
who perhaps is happy
when all is said and done.
1709
02:50:09,282 --> 02:50:11,868
I'm happy at any rate
1710
02:50:12,035 --> 02:50:14,120
that the shot didn't go off
1711
02:50:14,287 --> 02:50:17,040
and made me a murderer.
1712
02:50:22,712 --> 02:50:25,506
If I may, I'd like to sleep now.
1713
02:50:29,553 --> 02:50:32,180
I'll make sure
you won't be disturbed.
1714
02:50:35,183 --> 02:50:38,394
And when you wake up, maybe we could
1715
02:50:38,562 --> 02:50:41,649
discuss your future if you'd like.
1716
02:50:50,490 --> 02:50:53,910
In your new life,
1717
02:50:54,077 --> 02:50:56,788
would you consider
seeking out your son?
1718
02:50:59,624 --> 02:51:01,626
It's possible.
1719
02:51:05,964 --> 02:51:08,049
Good night, Joe.
1720
02:51:09,426 --> 02:51:11,303
Good night, Seligman.
1721
02:52:51,527 --> 02:52:53,237
No!
1722
02:52:55,573 --> 02:52:58,326
But you, you fucked thousands of men.
132039
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.