Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,444 --> 00:00:10,997
[organ music]
2
00:00:11,099 --> 00:00:13,433
[club music]
Whoo!
3
00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:15,401
[laughter]
4
00:00:20,008 --> 00:00:20,907
[wind whistles]
5
00:00:21,009 --> 00:00:21,841
[gun cocks]
[gasps]
6
00:00:21,943 --> 00:00:24,110
[gunfire]
7
00:00:29,184 --> 00:00:30,350
[gasps]
8
00:00:30,452 --> 00:00:32,519
[Leoncavallo's "Vesti La Guibba" plays]
9
00:00:41,930 --> 00:00:44,831
[dubstep music]
10
00:00:47,269 --> 00:00:49,769
[phone ringing]
11
00:00:49,871 --> 00:00:50,970
Hello, this is TripTank.
12
00:00:51,005 --> 00:00:53,940
Hey, TripTank,
I'm in A Bit Of A Pickle here.
13
00:00:54,042 --> 00:00:55,542
You know,
the artisan pickle shop
14
00:00:55,644 --> 00:00:56,776
a couple doors down
from you guys?
15
00:00:56,878 --> 00:00:59,045
Oh, yeah.
Right, right, how's it going?
16
00:00:59,147 --> 00:01:01,281
So, I was looking at our
security tapes from last night,
17
00:01:01,383 --> 00:01:04,250
and I saw one of your employees
back into my car.
18
00:01:04,352 --> 00:01:05,685
It looked like an accident at first,
19
00:01:05,787 --> 00:01:08,521
but then he pulled forward
and backed into it again
20
00:01:08,623 --> 00:01:12,792
and again, and this went
on for about half an hour.
21
00:01:12,894 --> 00:01:15,028
Yeah, that checks out.
22
00:01:15,130 --> 00:01:16,496
So you can see
The Pickle I'm In here.
23
00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:19,265
That's our sister store across
the street from you guys.
24
00:01:19,367 --> 00:01:20,934
You can probably
see it from your desk.
25
00:01:21,036 --> 00:01:24,904
Anyway, should I call the cops or
can we settle this over the phone?
26
00:01:25,006 --> 00:01:27,106
No, no, no, let me transfer
you to our insurance department.
27
00:01:27,209 --> 00:01:29,876
I'll just let...
Ah! What the hell?
28
00:01:29,978 --> 00:01:33,179
Ah, it's just a brownout, man,
or the apocalypse is on
29
00:01:33,281 --> 00:01:34,214
and it's time
to saddle up on a dinosaur
30
00:01:34,316 --> 00:01:39,252
and ride into the sunset with Jesus.
Nope, just a brownout.
31
00:01:39,354 --> 00:01:42,856
- The city grid must be overloaded.
- Damn it, I lost everything.
32
00:01:42,958 --> 00:01:44,991
- My file is gone.
- File?
33
00:01:45,093 --> 00:01:47,627
What kind of files are
you working on, phone jockey?
34
00:01:47,729 --> 00:01:49,429
What? No, nothing.
I don't know what...
35
00:01:49,531 --> 00:01:50,730
I'm not working on anything.
36
00:01:50,832 --> 00:01:53,433
Aw, man, no sweat,
just call up the IT department.
37
00:01:53,535 --> 00:01:55,201
They'll get that computer
blinking again.
38
00:01:55,303 --> 00:01:56,769
Naw, I don't wanna call those guys.
39
00:01:56,872 --> 00:01:58,711
Every time they're around
I feel like such a dork.
40
00:01:58,746 --> 00:02:00,838
Yeah, they're pretty cool,
aren't they?
41
00:02:00,873 --> 00:02:02,709
Oh, they're just the coolest.
42
00:02:04,179 --> 00:02:06,112
Go ahead.
Welcome to America.
43
00:02:06,214 --> 00:02:08,882
Say, Edmund, do you have a minute?
44
00:02:08,984 --> 00:02:10,850
Well, sure, Harold,
what can I do for you?
45
00:02:10,952 --> 00:02:13,853
- Is everything okay?
- Yes, everything's fine. Why?
46
00:02:13,955 --> 00:02:17,090
Some of these name changes
you've been performing
47
00:02:17,192 --> 00:02:20,693
on these people's passports
have us a little... worried.
48
00:02:20,795 --> 00:02:22,762
- What do you mean?
- Well, for instance,
49
00:02:22,864 --> 00:02:25,965
- that family that just came through.
- Who? The Sluttersons?
50
00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:27,367
They had some
goofy Italian name,
51
00:02:27,469 --> 00:02:28,568
so I changed it
to something easy.
52
00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:32,305
Uh-huh, and what about
the people before them?
53
00:02:32,407 --> 00:02:35,642
- The Whoreleys?
- They had some crazy name before.
54
00:02:35,744 --> 00:02:37,677
- It was Sanders.
- So?
55
00:02:37,779 --> 00:02:39,579
So it's been like this all day.
56
00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:41,648
You've checked in the Trampleys,
57
00:02:41,750 --> 00:02:44,050
the Hussytons,
the Strumplesteins,
58
00:02:44,152 --> 00:02:46,552
the Whoresmiths,
the Whorevilles,
59
00:02:46,655 --> 00:02:48,087
and the Whorejohnsonwhores.
60
00:02:48,189 --> 00:02:50,223
How's Susan doing, Edmund?
61
00:02:50,325 --> 00:02:53,092
She's fine.
Why do you bring it up?
62
00:02:53,194 --> 00:02:54,794
Just wondering,
because I noticed
63
00:02:54,896 --> 00:02:57,063
you changed "Peterson"
to "Cheaterson,"
64
00:02:57,165 --> 00:02:58,998
"Anderson" to "Adulterson,"
65
00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:01,401
and you changed
that family's name from Smith
66
00:03:01,503 --> 00:03:04,871
to "You-cheating-bitch-
I'll-never-love-again."
67
00:03:04,973 --> 00:03:06,506
Well, that can't be.
68
00:03:06,608 --> 00:03:08,474
Oh, I've got
a lot on my mind, Harold.
69
00:03:08,576 --> 00:03:12,545
- I'll try not to let it happen again.
- Thanks. Keep your head up.
70
00:03:12,647 --> 00:03:13,980
Passport.
How do you pronounce this name?
71
00:03:14,082 --> 00:03:19,152
- It's "Love-is-bullshit."
- Welcome to America!
72
00:03:19,254 --> 00:03:22,188
[dubstep music]
73
00:03:22,290 --> 00:03:25,265
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
74
00:03:26,158 --> 00:03:29,492
I have any control over it.
It's Mother Nature.
75
00:03:29,594 --> 00:03:31,127
Matt, you can't keep poppin' boners
76
00:03:31,229 --> 00:03:32,495
every time we go
to the thrift store.
77
00:03:32,597 --> 00:03:36,166
Whoo! This is some
good-ass chili.
78
00:03:36,268 --> 00:03:38,868
Holy shit!
Guys, look!
79
00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:40,270
All: Gary.
80
00:03:40,372 --> 00:03:43,006
- I just lost my appetite.
- What the hell's he doing
81
00:03:43,108 --> 00:03:45,241
spending money
at a shopping mall?
82
00:03:45,343 --> 00:03:47,777
- In today's economic climate?
- What an asshole!
83
00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:50,313
We have to expose Gary
for the jerk he is,
84
00:03:50,415 --> 00:03:51,447
and I have just the prank.
85
00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:55,018
Yeah, let's get this chili to go.
86
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,887
Whoa, imagine the old Gare-Bear
87
00:03:57,989 --> 00:04:01,357
sporting fresh duds like these.
Watch out, ladies.
88
00:04:01,459 --> 00:04:03,359
Can I help you,
stinky old person?
89
00:04:03,461 --> 00:04:05,428
Oh, no, I'm on
a very tight budget.
90
00:04:05,530 --> 00:04:08,198
By the way, do you have
an irregulars section?
91
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:10,733
Maybe clothing marked way,
way down?
92
00:04:10,836 --> 00:04:13,203
Did you just stuff
a shirt down your pants?
93
00:04:13,305 --> 00:04:14,304
What?
No.
94
00:04:14,406 --> 00:04:16,472
Security, we have
a fat shoplifter here!
95
00:04:16,575 --> 00:04:17,841
[imitates wailing alarm]
96
00:04:17,943 --> 00:04:20,043
Is this the ugly sack of crap
97
00:04:20,145 --> 00:04:22,145
who tried to rob you,
store employee?
98
00:04:22,247 --> 00:04:24,247
Yep, that's the porky
turdball right there.
99
00:04:24,349 --> 00:04:25,882
No, I didn't steal anything.
100
00:04:25,984 --> 00:04:28,685
These lowlifes keep getting
uglier and uglier.
101
00:04:28,787 --> 00:04:30,954
Sir, I'm gonna need you
to go ahead and empty
102
00:04:30,955 --> 00:04:33,122
the contents of your pockets
into this bowl of chili.
103
00:04:33,225 --> 00:04:34,123
Well, that sounds peculiar.
104
00:04:34,226 --> 00:04:37,026
You have to do what we say, dummy.
We're mall security guards.
105
00:04:37,128 --> 00:04:40,163
Okay, fine, fine, but I swear,
I didn't take anything.
106
00:04:40,265 --> 00:04:43,900
- Wallet, keys, cell phone...
- Oh, great, now my chili's ruined.
107
00:04:44,002 --> 00:04:45,101
I think this fat man is drunk.
108
00:04:45,203 --> 00:04:47,704
What?
No, I'm nine months sober.
109
00:04:47,806 --> 00:04:49,038
Sir, I'm gonna need you to go ahead
110
00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:52,008
- and take a mall sobriety test.
- Make him sing!
111
00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:53,776
Yeah, sing
"She's A Grand Old Flag"
112
00:04:53,879 --> 00:04:56,079
but replace every third word
with the word "fart."
113
00:04:56,181 --> 00:04:58,414
Uh, hold on...uh...
[hums]
114
00:04:58,516 --> 00:04:59,983
Okay.
You're a fart old flag
115
00:05:00,085 --> 00:05:02,518
? Fart a high farting flag ?
116
00:05:02,621 --> 00:05:04,020
- Louder!
- And forever in fart
117
00:05:04,122 --> 00:05:06,956
- May you fart
- March, fatty!
118
00:05:07,058 --> 00:05:07,991
? Fart the emblem fart ?
119
00:05:08,093 --> 00:05:10,560
? The land fart love ?
120
00:05:10,662 --> 00:05:14,197
? The fart of the fart
and the fart ?
121
00:05:14,299 --> 00:05:15,231
[cheers and applause]
122
00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:17,967
Wow, that was
actually pretty good.
123
00:05:18,069 --> 00:05:21,471
- Yeah, he kinda nailed it.
- Boo! Shoplifter!
124
00:05:21,573 --> 00:05:23,673
That's right, he's definitely
hiding something in his pants.
125
00:05:23,775 --> 00:05:26,042
Sir, I'm gonna need you to go
ahead drop your drawers
126
00:05:26,144 --> 00:05:27,944
right here in the middle
of the crowded shopping mall.
127
00:05:28,046 --> 00:05:29,545
What?
No, I can't do that.
128
00:05:29,648 --> 00:05:33,249
Drop them britches, lardo!
129
00:05:33,351 --> 00:05:34,984
- Aah!
- Oh, my God!
130
00:05:35,086 --> 00:05:36,586
Look at that!
[laughter]
131
00:05:36,688 --> 00:05:38,554
Gary's wearing man-panties!
132
00:05:38,657 --> 00:05:40,290
What? Wait, how do
you guys know my name?
133
00:05:40,392 --> 00:05:42,792
- Because it's us, you jerk!
- Aah!
134
00:05:42,894 --> 00:05:45,428
Dana? Andy?
What the heck is going on here?
135
00:05:45,530 --> 00:05:48,031
Just your classic
"dress up like mall cops,
136
00:05:48,133 --> 00:05:51,334
accuse a guy of shoplifting,
make him dance around like a buffoon
137
00:05:51,436 --> 00:05:53,603
till he drops his pants
and the whole mall sees
138
00:05:53,705 --> 00:05:57,373
he's wearing a leopard print
t-back thong" revenge prank!
139
00:05:57,475 --> 00:05:58,779
Suck it, Gary!
Whoo!
140
00:05:58,814 --> 00:06:01,177
[laughter] What?
It's a very comfortable cut.
141
00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:03,139
Suck it, Gary.
Whoo!
142
00:06:03,174 --> 00:06:06,211
Huh, I always pictured Gary
more of a boxer's guy.
143
00:06:06,246 --> 00:06:09,520
In my dreams,
he always goes commando.
144
00:06:09,555 --> 00:06:12,700
[jazzy music]
Suck it Gary
145
00:06:13,108 --> 00:06:14,507
And then when
the power came back on,
146
00:06:14,609 --> 00:06:16,376
my file was
just completely gone.
147
00:06:16,478 --> 00:06:18,244
That's why you got to save
that shit to the cloud, dog.
148
00:06:18,346 --> 00:06:20,680
And always keep a hard copy
at an off-site location.
149
00:06:20,782 --> 00:06:22,849
[phone rings]
I know, I know, the cloud.
150
00:06:22,951 --> 00:06:24,984
- TripTank.
- You suck!
151
00:06:25,087 --> 00:06:27,153
- What? Dad?
- How's it going, champ?
152
00:06:27,255 --> 00:06:28,914
I gotta be honest, Dad,
not too great,
153
00:06:28,949 --> 00:06:31,925
- because you just said I suck.
- I was watching "TripTank" on TV,
154
00:06:32,027 --> 00:06:34,194
and I gotta call
a spade a spade, buddy.
155
00:06:34,296 --> 00:06:35,829
You're just not
a compelling character.
156
00:06:35,931 --> 00:06:37,230
You don't have an arc, kiddo.
157
00:06:37,332 --> 00:06:38,732
Are you even thinking
about season five?
158
00:06:38,834 --> 00:06:43,403
- No, I guess not.
- It shows, pal. You suck!
159
00:06:43,505 --> 00:06:45,939
- You already said that, Dad.
- No, no, not you this time, Steve-o.
160
00:06:46,041 --> 00:06:48,048
I'm watching my neighbor
rebuild his deck.
161
00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:50,410
You call that a dovetail, Troy?
You suck!
162
00:06:50,512 --> 00:06:53,079
All right, gotta go, Dad.
I'll see you at Gram-Gram's tonight.
163
00:06:53,181 --> 00:06:55,048
Damn, Steve, I've never seen
164
00:06:55,150 --> 00:06:57,350
so much peanut butter
on a keyboard before.
165
00:06:57,452 --> 00:07:00,754
Yeah, well, you don't want
to look under his desk.
166
00:07:00,856 --> 00:07:03,757
[dubstep music]
167
00:07:07,833 --> 00:07:10,900
- Is my computer okay?
- Well, your file was corrupted,
168
00:07:11,003 --> 00:07:14,638
but I was able to go through your
cache and recover something called
169
00:07:14,740 --> 00:07:18,708
"The Erotic Awakening
of Lady Edith Crawley.doc"?
170
00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:21,077
- Let's see if it'll open.
- No, no, no, you don't need to open it!
171
00:07:21,179 --> 00:07:22,879
- Yup, it opened.
- Okay, thanks, great.
172
00:07:22,981 --> 00:07:24,956
- Okay, that's enough.
- "Her moist nipples
173
00:07:25,051 --> 00:07:27,817
quivered at the sight
of Lord Steve's throbbing"...
174
00:07:27,852 --> 00:07:29,433
Okay!
Thank you so much, guys.
175
00:07:29,468 --> 00:07:30,153
I really appreciate it.
Close the file now.
176
00:07:30,255 --> 00:07:32,889
Damn, skippy,
what the hell was that?
177
00:07:32,991 --> 00:07:34,658
Nothing, it's just...
[sighs]
178
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,327
It's just some "Downton Abbey" erotic
fan-fiction I've been working on.
179
00:07:37,429 --> 00:07:38,628
That sounded like some really
elegant prose, bro.
180
00:07:38,730 --> 00:07:42,365
- You know, sensual style.
- Yeah, you both seem really cool.
181
00:07:42,467 --> 00:07:44,300
You want to come down
to the IT department
182
00:07:44,403 --> 00:07:45,035
and get stoned with us?
183
00:07:45,137 --> 00:07:48,405
- Um...
- Hell yeah!
184
00:07:48,507 --> 00:07:52,193
Do you, Jon, take Sally
to love and hold through
185
00:07:52,194 --> 00:07:55,879
sickness and health for as
long as you both shall live?
186
00:07:55,981 --> 00:07:57,947
- I do.
- And do you, Sally...
187
00:07:58,050 --> 00:07:59,582
[laughs]
188
00:07:59,685 --> 00:08:02,052
I'm sorry, I'm just so happy,
189
00:08:02,154 --> 00:08:04,354
and, oh,
now my mascara's running.
190
00:08:04,456 --> 00:08:06,923
- I got it, I got it, I got it.
- No, Karen...
191
00:08:07,025 --> 00:08:08,024
- Ah, oh.
- Karen!
192
00:08:08,126 --> 00:08:09,059
I'm getting up in there. Oh!
193
00:08:09,161 --> 00:08:10,060
Ay, oh!
[gasp]
194
00:08:10,162 --> 00:08:11,494
I don't even know what that is.
195
00:08:11,596 --> 00:08:14,497
No, no, no, no, don't let go
of each other's hands.
196
00:08:14,599 --> 00:08:15,799
Keep the show going.
197
00:08:15,901 --> 00:08:18,435
Oh, my God, Karen!
What're you doing?
198
00:08:18,537 --> 00:08:20,036
- Aah!
- Mom!
199
00:08:20,138 --> 00:08:21,404
Oh, my gosh!
200
00:08:21,506 --> 00:08:24,140
It must be the excitement
of the moment, huh?
201
00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:25,208
Everybody, we need some water!
202
00:08:25,310 --> 00:08:27,677
Oh, wait a minute, you
know what? I have a bottle!
203
00:08:27,779 --> 00:08:28,678
All: No!
204
00:08:28,780 --> 00:08:29,713
[cash register dings]
205
00:08:31,550 --> 00:08:34,250
- Hi.
- Well, hello, my name is Crina.
206
00:08:34,352 --> 00:08:38,188
- I am loving sex. Are you over 18s?
- Um, yes.
207
00:08:38,290 --> 00:08:40,724
Good, you are big dick tall
man American cowboy.
208
00:08:40,826 --> 00:08:43,694
Enter your credit card number
and I'll make a sexy dance
209
00:08:43,695 --> 00:08:45,295
inside the Dell computer.
210
00:08:45,330 --> 00:08:46,596
Actually I was hoping
we could play
211
00:08:46,698 --> 00:08:49,132
"Sword Lords of Sorcery."
I have all the books.
212
00:08:49,234 --> 00:08:51,534
I just... don't have any friends.
213
00:08:51,636 --> 00:08:53,403
This is sex thing?
Ten euro extra.
214
00:08:53,505 --> 00:08:54,804
- No, it's not a sex thing.
- Five euro.
215
00:08:54,906 --> 00:08:58,875
"Sword Lords of Sorcery" is a
pen and paper role-playing game.
216
00:08:58,977 --> 00:09:00,777
Where you're an adventurer
exploring magical lands
217
00:09:00,879 --> 00:09:03,279
and battling ancient evil.
218
00:09:03,381 --> 00:09:07,117
- The only limit is your imagination.
- 50 euro.
219
00:09:07,219 --> 00:09:09,953
Done. Now,
the first thing we need to do
220
00:09:10,055 --> 00:09:11,187
is create your character.
221
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:12,689
What kind of adventurer
would you like to be?
222
00:09:12,791 --> 00:09:15,391
- Cam girl.
- Cam girl isn't a character class.
223
00:09:15,494 --> 00:09:18,661
- You have to pick something else.
- Mafia guy who run webcam site.
224
00:09:18,764 --> 00:09:22,999
Hmm, okay, that kind
of sounds like a thief.
225
00:09:23,101 --> 00:09:24,634
And what is thy name, brave thief?
226
00:09:24,736 --> 00:09:28,071
- Boob.
- Eh, needs more of a fantasy angle.
227
00:09:28,173 --> 00:09:30,607
- Elf Boob.
- Okay, Elf Boob.
228
00:09:30,709 --> 00:09:32,575
You're standing in
The Angry Wyvern,
229
00:09:32,677 --> 00:09:34,444
the seediest tavern in all of Xorth.
230
00:09:34,546 --> 00:09:37,580
An old man with an eye patch
sits in the corner.
231
00:09:37,682 --> 00:09:40,750
He beckons you closer with
the promise of adventure.
232
00:09:40,852 --> 00:09:42,786
So, Elf Boob, what do you do?
233
00:09:42,888 --> 00:09:45,722
I do sexy dance for money.
234
00:09:45,824 --> 00:09:47,157
Uh... okay.
235
00:09:47,259 --> 00:09:48,858
The other patrons look on and...
236
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,861
whoa,
confusion and embarrassment!
237
00:09:51,963 --> 00:09:54,488
- No one pays you any money!
- Fine, [bleep] them.
238
00:09:54,523 --> 00:09:56,766
- I get them take a leave.
- Before you leave,
239
00:09:56,868 --> 00:09:58,234
the old man beckons you again.
240
00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:01,437
"By the Gods, I know where
a thief like you
241
00:10:01,540 --> 00:10:05,074
might earn a fair bit
of coin, I do!"
242
00:10:05,177 --> 00:10:06,922
I show him top
of butt and I say,
243
00:10:06,957 --> 00:10:09,312
"Give me credit card, old man,
then you can see whole butt."
244
00:10:09,414 --> 00:10:10,680
"I am Melichor the Arcane,
245
00:10:10,782 --> 00:10:13,216
and I do not want to see
your whole butt.
246
00:10:13,318 --> 00:10:16,286
I wish to tell you
of a hidden treasure."
247
00:10:16,388 --> 00:10:17,687
I give him finger and leave.
248
00:10:17,789 --> 00:10:19,689
Uh-uh, the old man grabs
your arm to stop you.
249
00:10:19,791 --> 00:10:20,924
Old man touch me?
250
00:10:21,026 --> 00:10:23,059
Well then, I stab him
in good eye with nail file.
251
00:10:23,161 --> 00:10:25,228
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
252
00:10:25,330 --> 00:10:27,197
Melichor's a super powerful druid.
253
00:10:27,299 --> 00:10:30,500
Elf Boob not scared!
I stab him in good eye with nail file!
254
00:10:30,602 --> 00:10:32,836
Fine, but I wouldn't count on...
255
00:10:32,938 --> 00:10:34,898
What the... [gasp]
Critical hit for...
256
00:10:34,933 --> 00:10:37,340
Jesus!
23 damage!
257
00:10:37,442 --> 00:10:38,541
You killed Melichor.
258
00:10:38,643 --> 00:10:40,155
Mm. I take old man's credit card.
259
00:10:40,178 --> 00:10:42,946
He doesn't have a credit card!
Melichor has seven
260
00:10:42,947 --> 00:10:45,715
copper pieces and a
magical cloak of stealth!
261
00:10:45,817 --> 00:10:47,283
Okay, I keep money
and throw cloak in garbage.
262
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:49,953
Come on!
You're not doing it right!
263
00:10:50,055 --> 00:10:53,356
When you tell me of this game,
what did you say is the only limit?
264
00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:54,591
[sigh]
Your imagination.
265
00:10:54,693 --> 00:10:58,494
Exactly, so, ask me again
what Elf Boob do.
266
00:10:58,597 --> 00:11:00,697
All right, what do you do?
267
00:11:00,799 --> 00:11:02,732
I use money to buy
drug and lip gloss.
268
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:03,933
What?
No!
269
00:11:04,035 --> 00:11:07,904
- This is a medieval fantasy world!
- Just roll the dice!
270
00:11:08,006 --> 00:11:08,938
Oh!
271
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:10,707
[coins clink]
272
00:11:10,809 --> 00:11:14,614
[medieval music]
273
00:11:14,649 --> 00:11:17,331
[dubstep music]
274
00:11:19,351 --> 00:11:21,150
Sorry for all the commotion, sir.
275
00:11:21,253 --> 00:11:22,385
Can I offer you
a complimentary glass of water?
276
00:11:22,487 --> 00:11:25,088
I know what this is.
You're not getting me again.
277
00:11:25,190 --> 00:11:27,857
Aah!
What'd you do that for, dick?
278
00:11:27,959 --> 00:11:30,762
- Matt, isn't that you?
- Nope, I'm over here!
279
00:11:30,797 --> 00:11:33,129
Ha, ha, suck it, Gary!
Whoo!
280
00:11:33,231 --> 00:11:35,098
[panting]
281
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:39,235
Suck it, Gary!
Whoo!
282
00:11:39,337 --> 00:11:42,472
Why would Gary pick on
that poor employee?
283
00:11:42,574 --> 00:11:44,641
I don't know.
Maybe he married Gary's sister,
284
00:11:44,743 --> 00:11:46,242
and he's always annoying
the shit out of him.
285
00:11:46,344 --> 00:11:47,710
Yeah, or maybe he...
286
00:11:47,812 --> 00:11:49,979
wait a minute, you're talking
about me, aren't ya?
287
00:11:50,081 --> 00:11:53,130
[jazzy music]
Suck it, Gary
288
00:11:54,653 --> 00:11:56,452
I can't get stoned today, Roy.
289
00:11:56,554 --> 00:11:58,154
I'm going straight to
my Gram-Gram's after work.
290
00:11:58,256 --> 00:11:59,889
Look, man,
don't blow this for me,
291
00:11:59,991 --> 00:12:02,659
I've been trying to puff tuff
with Chris and Alex forever.
292
00:12:02,761 --> 00:12:04,627
I will sweep the leg
on your Gram-Gram
293
00:12:04,729 --> 00:12:07,196
- if it gets me through that door.
- I know. I know.
294
00:12:07,299 --> 00:12:10,065
- God, IT guys are always so cool!
- Yeah, and for some
295
00:12:10,159 --> 00:12:12,335
strange reason they really like
your weird jerk-off novel.
296
00:12:12,437 --> 00:12:13,770
We got to cash in on that.
297
00:12:13,872 --> 00:12:15,772
But my Gram-Gram,
she can't see me baked.
298
00:12:15,874 --> 00:12:19,809
Listen, listen, Steve.
They invited us here, we go in.
299
00:12:19,911 --> 00:12:23,537
Besides, how much weed could they
possible have in there anyway?
300
00:12:23,572 --> 00:12:24,814
[door squeaks]
301
00:12:24,916 --> 00:12:25,748
[angelic music]
302
00:12:25,850 --> 00:12:28,818
Holy shit!
303
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,854
[dubstep music]
304
00:12:35,736 --> 00:12:38,868
- Who-whoo! That aws awesome.
- Textbook revenge.
305
00:12:38,903 --> 00:12:40,137
You guys were against it,
306
00:12:40,239 --> 00:12:43,173
but I'm really glad I fished
this chili out of the garbage.
307
00:12:43,275 --> 00:12:45,809
Was anybody else surprised by
Gary's teeny-weeny underpants?
308
00:12:45,911 --> 00:12:48,812
- Did not see that coming.
- I kind of did.
309
00:12:48,914 --> 00:12:52,582
- Wh... What the hell is this?
- That's Gary's wallet.
310
00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:54,518
He keeps that pressed
right up against his bottom.
311
00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:57,120
Gary made you put your mouth
on his bottom?
312
00:12:57,222 --> 00:12:59,556
Gary made me kiss his bottom?
313
00:12:59,658 --> 00:13:00,991
- What a sicko!
- Oh, I hate him!
314
00:13:01,093 --> 00:13:02,559
Prep your mouth, Gary,
315
00:13:02,661 --> 00:13:04,628
'cause you're gonna start
suckin' it soon, my friend,
316
00:13:04,730 --> 00:13:07,824
and you're gonna keep suckin' it
for the rest of your life!
317
00:13:07,859 --> 00:13:09,399
All: Suck it! Suck it!
318
00:13:09,501 --> 00:13:10,467
Suck it!
319
00:13:10,569 --> 00:13:13,370
- Suck it!
- Suck it, Gary! Whoo!
320
00:13:13,472 --> 00:13:16,607
[jazzy music]
Suck it, Gary
321
00:13:17,476 --> 00:13:19,576
[dubstep music]
322
00:13:23,215 --> 00:13:24,614
[wailing]
323
00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:26,016
Hey, I got just the thing to help!
324
00:13:26,118 --> 00:13:29,586
I keep it in my purse for when
my niece and nephew visit...
325
00:13:29,688 --> 00:13:31,121
[both gasp]
326
00:13:31,223 --> 00:13:32,689
Aah!
There we go.
327
00:13:32,690 --> 00:13:35,025
- Here we go, little one.
- Oh, God, no thanks!.
328
00:13:35,127 --> 00:13:36,293
There's nothing
to be embarrassed about.
329
00:13:36,395 --> 00:13:39,096
Babies cry all the time.
[squeals]
330
00:13:39,198 --> 00:13:41,031
And Auntie Karen saves the day!
331
00:13:41,133 --> 00:13:41,998
[cash register rings]
332
00:13:42,101 --> 00:13:45,035
[rock guitar riff]
333
00:13:49,174 --> 00:13:51,541
[sighs]
334
00:13:51,643 --> 00:13:53,710
- Aah!
- Well, well, well.
335
00:13:53,812 --> 00:13:55,479
[chuckles]
And what have we here?
336
00:13:55,581 --> 00:13:58,148
You're riding the cotton
dragon again? You dick.
337
00:13:58,250 --> 00:13:59,583
Ha! What, man?
It's under control.
338
00:13:59,685 --> 00:14:00,884
It's all good.
Give me it.
339
00:14:00,986 --> 00:14:03,053
- [laughs] Give it to me.
- 800 thread count?
340
00:14:03,155 --> 00:14:06,022
On your last binge you bought
him down to 500, Anau.
341
00:14:06,125 --> 00:14:07,257
How much is enough this time?
342
00:14:07,359 --> 00:14:10,327
- 1,000? 15 hundy?
- What?! Dude, it's under control.
343
00:14:10,429 --> 00:14:12,629
It's not exactly like last time.
It's like this time.
344
00:14:12,731 --> 00:14:13,563
This time's different
from last time.
345
00:14:13,665 --> 00:14:14,598
It's not the same time.
346
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:17,234
[demonic voice]
Give it back!
347
00:14:17,336 --> 00:14:18,969
[yells] Nooo!
348
00:14:19,071 --> 00:14:21,204
Oh, you gotta help me.
349
00:14:21,306 --> 00:14:23,306
Dude, cold turkey is the only way
350
00:14:23,408 --> 00:14:26,476
to get the Devil's Duvet off your back.
Trust me on this. [whimpers]
351
00:14:26,578 --> 00:14:27,878
Oh, and if it feels like bugs
are crawling on your skin,
352
00:14:27,980 --> 00:14:30,413
don't sweat it.
That's just the withdrawal talking.
353
00:14:30,516 --> 00:14:34,050
Unless they feel like bed bugs,
those are bed bugs.
354
00:14:34,153 --> 00:14:34,751
[howls]
355
00:14:34,853 --> 00:14:37,754
[vacuum whirrs]
[hums]
356
00:14:37,856 --> 00:14:40,157
One, and, two,
and three, push it.
357
00:14:40,259 --> 00:14:41,424
[groans]
358
00:14:41,527 --> 00:14:42,526
Hold on a tick.
359
00:14:42,628 --> 00:14:45,228
[knocks]
Hey, little buddy, how we doing?
360
00:14:45,330 --> 00:14:46,997
Ah-ha-ha!
Ya-ha-ha-ha-ha!
361
00:14:47,099 --> 00:14:50,400
[screams] Jesus Christ!
[bleep] sake, dude.
362
00:14:50,502 --> 00:14:51,801
It's... it's bed sheets.
363
00:14:51,904 --> 00:14:52,536
[alarm blares]
364
00:14:52,638 --> 00:14:54,404
Anau, come on, where are you?
365
00:14:54,506 --> 00:14:56,206
Show yourself, you little shit.
366
00:14:56,308 --> 00:14:57,941
You're too late.
He's gone, man.
367
00:14:58,043 --> 00:15:02,345
Your boy was loco, begged for
my highest thread count, man.
368
00:15:02,447 --> 00:15:04,381
He said he could handle it!
[bleep]sucker!
369
00:15:04,483 --> 00:15:06,883
- What did you give him?
- No bed, no bath, your boy,
370
00:15:06,985 --> 00:15:10,787
he wanted to go... beyond.
371
00:15:10,889 --> 00:15:13,256
- They're sublime.
- No, you idiot!
372
00:15:13,358 --> 00:15:15,025
The slightest touch
and you will slip into
373
00:15:15,127 --> 00:15:19,129
the deep, slumber-y clutches
of The Angel's Vagina.
374
00:15:19,231 --> 00:15:23,133
10,000 thread count, woven
from opium milkfed albino...
375
00:15:23,235 --> 00:15:26,803
- What the [bleep], man?
- I'm going in to my buddy's vagina.
376
00:15:26,905 --> 00:15:29,673
I don't need this shit.
I'm going on break!
377
00:15:31,210 --> 00:15:33,076
[belches]
378
00:15:33,178 --> 00:15:35,979
[laughs]
Oh, this is the tits!
379
00:15:36,081 --> 00:15:39,382
Anau, talk to me, little buddy.
I know you're in here. Anau!
380
00:15:39,484 --> 00:15:43,486
Oh, a dream within a dream,
like I haven't been here before.
381
00:15:43,589 --> 00:15:45,021
Let's do this!
382
00:15:45,123 --> 00:15:47,157
[screams]
383
00:15:47,259 --> 00:15:48,592
[clouds giggle]
384
00:15:48,694 --> 00:15:50,860
This is all you've got, you
Willa Wonka mother[bleep].
385
00:15:50,963 --> 00:15:52,395
Anau!
386
00:15:52,497 --> 00:15:53,463
Wake up,
we gotta get you out of here.
387
00:15:53,565 --> 00:15:55,932
Karl! What?!
Get out of my dreams!
388
00:15:56,034 --> 00:15:58,001
- Aah!
- Whoa!
389
00:16:03,442 --> 00:16:05,475
Hey, let us outta here!
390
00:16:05,577 --> 00:16:07,077
[muffled and squeaky]
You bastard!
391
00:16:07,179 --> 00:16:11,626
You son of a bitch! Let us out!
[hums Mariachi music]
392
00:16:14,486 --> 00:16:17,354
[dubstep music]
393
00:16:21,393 --> 00:16:24,027
[triumphant music]
394
00:16:24,129 --> 00:16:27,530
Citizens of Eggmanland,
395
00:16:27,633 --> 00:16:32,469
I am better than all of you,
and you love me for it!
396
00:16:32,571 --> 00:16:34,304
[cheers and applause]
397
00:16:34,406 --> 00:16:37,307
I come to you today
with great news.
398
00:16:37,409 --> 00:16:39,409
The future is bright.
399
00:16:39,511 --> 00:16:40,577
The future is big.
400
00:16:40,679 --> 00:16:43,546
The future's soft, warm,
and cuddly.
401
00:16:43,649 --> 00:16:47,083
There's nowhere else
you wanna be but the future.
402
00:16:47,185 --> 00:16:49,152
It's like resting in a valley
403
00:16:49,254 --> 00:16:52,322
between two majestic mountains.
404
00:16:52,424 --> 00:16:55,058
[cheers and applause]
405
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,061
You may ask,
"Where is this great future,
406
00:16:58,163 --> 00:17:02,065
and how do I get there?"
[cheering]
407
00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:03,833
I'll send you a postcard.
408
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:04,701
[club music]
409
00:17:04,803 --> 00:17:07,304
? Gusto Gusto, Gusto rules ?
410
00:17:07,406 --> 00:17:08,338
[gun shot]
411
00:17:08,550 --> 00:17:09,182
Over here we have
Cranberry Crack,
412
00:17:09,284 --> 00:17:11,117
Myrtle Beach Indica...
413
00:17:11,219 --> 00:17:14,087
Non-dairy reamer OG,
thick-dick OG,
414
00:17:14,189 --> 00:17:15,555
Hogan Family OG...
415
00:17:15,657 --> 00:17:18,124
Sloppy Seconds,
Kareem Abdul-Jakush...
416
00:17:18,226 --> 00:17:20,593
Wow, you guys sure have
a lot of marijuana down here.
417
00:17:20,695 --> 00:17:22,929
Where do you keep all
the servers and stuff?
418
00:17:23,031 --> 00:17:24,063
Oh, we had
to get rid of that shit.
419
00:17:24,166 --> 00:17:26,399
Whoa, man, there's
a lot of hot juice
420
00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:27,567
running through this sucker.
421
00:17:27,669 --> 00:17:28,501
How'd you get all
these 220 lines in here?
422
00:17:28,603 --> 00:17:29,669
That sure as hell ain't code.
423
00:17:29,771 --> 00:17:32,505
That's where we tapped directly
into the city's power grid.
424
00:17:32,607 --> 00:17:35,375
The sun shines all day
down here, baby.
425
00:17:35,477 --> 00:17:37,811
Oh, the brownouts from Act I.
426
00:17:37,913 --> 00:17:38,745
Well, that checks
out story wise, yeah.
427
00:17:38,847 --> 00:17:43,049
- Now, let's blaze, mother[bleep].
- Oh, my God, what am I gonna do?
428
00:17:43,151 --> 00:17:46,719
- Gram-Gram...
- Come on, man, spark that shit up.
429
00:17:46,822 --> 00:17:48,988
[phone ringing]
Sorry, guys, I gotta take this.
430
00:17:49,090 --> 00:17:49,889
This is probably
really important.
431
00:17:49,991 --> 00:17:51,090
Hello, TripTank,
this is Steve.
432
00:17:51,193 --> 00:17:54,058
Hi, Steve,
people find my voice scary,
433
00:17:54,129 --> 00:17:56,863
so I've been working on
toning it down a little.
434
00:17:56,965 --> 00:18:00,133
- I want you to tell me how it sounds.
- Okay, shoot.
435
00:18:00,235 --> 00:18:02,335
[clears throat]
Is brunch at 11:00 or 11:30?
436
00:18:02,437 --> 00:18:04,771
Uh, that was still
scary sounding.
437
00:18:04,873 --> 00:18:07,841
Look at all the fluffy kitty cats.
438
00:18:07,943 --> 00:18:08,775
That may...
that makes me pretty nervous.
439
00:18:08,877 --> 00:18:10,777
- Cumberbund.
- Oh, my God.
440
00:18:10,879 --> 00:18:13,346
May I borrow your
Farmers' Almanac?
441
00:18:13,448 --> 00:18:14,514
I don't think it's working.
442
00:18:14,616 --> 00:18:15,882
Can you try something
different please?
443
00:18:15,984 --> 00:18:17,016
[gentler voice]
I'm going to kill you,
444
00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:19,953
and make knife handles
out of your bones.
445
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:21,187
Better?
446
00:18:21,289 --> 00:18:24,190
[dubstep music]
447
00:18:31,494 --> 00:18:33,327
[thunder booms]
448
00:18:33,429 --> 00:18:36,296
[ominous music]
449
00:18:40,677 --> 00:18:41,676
Oh, God, not again!
450
00:18:41,778 --> 00:18:44,813
Divorce me and leave me
with that mutt?
451
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:47,282
Oh. Where is it?
Where is it?
452
00:18:47,384 --> 00:18:49,617
[dramatic music]
453
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,847
[phone rings]
[thunder rumbles]
454
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:55,991
Yes?
My fee is non-negotiable.
455
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:57,726
[cocks gun]
[music]
456
00:18:57,828 --> 00:18:58,960
[elevator dings]
457
00:18:59,062 --> 00:19:04,065
[engine revs]
[tires squeal]
458
00:19:04,167 --> 00:19:07,202
[turn signal clicks]
459
00:19:07,304 --> 00:19:09,604
[tires squeal]
460
00:19:09,706 --> 00:19:12,607
[engine whirs]
461
00:19:12,709 --> 00:19:14,142
[tires squeal]
462
00:19:14,244 --> 00:19:16,978
Not on my list.
463
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:18,546
[tires squeal]
464
00:19:18,648 --> 00:19:20,782
[engine revs]
465
00:19:25,155 --> 00:19:26,421
Mint chip.
466
00:19:26,523 --> 00:19:28,623
[chomps]
467
00:19:31,395 --> 00:19:33,294
[tires squeal]
468
00:19:36,433 --> 00:19:39,334
[dramatic music]
469
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:43,038
He's right over there.
470
00:19:48,345 --> 00:19:49,577
[gun cocks]
471
00:19:49,679 --> 00:19:51,146
[barks]
472
00:19:51,248 --> 00:19:53,748
What?
[barks]
473
00:19:53,850 --> 00:19:55,050
You'll pay me double?
474
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:56,317
[barks]
475
00:19:56,420 --> 00:19:59,320
[gasp]
No, no, I'll pay triple!
476
00:19:59,423 --> 00:20:00,889
Deal.
[cocks gun]
477
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,590
[gun shot]
[dog whimpers]
478
00:20:02,692 --> 00:20:05,460
[heavy metal music]
479
00:20:05,562 --> 00:20:08,063
Dummy.
Dog's can't talk.
480
00:20:08,315 --> 00:20:11,917
[inhales] "The memory of his
turgid member burned brightly
481
00:20:12,019 --> 00:20:15,720
in her loins, like 1,000
throbbing Hot Pockets."
482
00:20:15,822 --> 00:20:17,956
Yo, read more of it, man.
Read more of it!
483
00:20:18,058 --> 00:20:20,492
"As Lady Edith mounted
the white stallion,
484
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:24,262
her blouse fell open and
her tits looked..." [inhales]
485
00:20:24,364 --> 00:20:27,899
- ...totally awesome."
- That shit is beautiful, dude.
486
00:20:28,001 --> 00:20:29,768
It's giving me, like,
a real nice boner.
487
00:20:29,870 --> 00:20:32,203
You guys really like it?
That's so flattering.
488
00:20:32,306 --> 00:20:33,305
Are you sure we can't get you
anything, Steve-o?
489
00:20:33,407 --> 00:20:36,408
Fat nug?
Cataract candy?
490
00:20:36,510 --> 00:20:40,078
- Some Temple 3 Ragga Dagga?
- No, I'm good, thanks, though.
491
00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:41,513
- That's cool, man.
- Oh, you know what, guys?
492
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:45,283
We forgot to show you
our newest creation!
493
00:20:45,385 --> 00:20:49,454
[angelic music] We call this
shit the TripTank Sativa.
494
00:20:49,556 --> 00:20:50,588
[both gasp]
495
00:20:50,691 --> 00:20:51,957
Both: Whoa!
496
00:20:52,059 --> 00:20:53,959
You can't get stoned.
You can't get stoned.
497
00:20:54,061 --> 00:20:55,493
You can't...
you gotta go to Gram-Gram's.
498
00:20:55,595 --> 00:20:57,028
You can't get stoned, Steve.
You can't get...
499
00:20:57,130 --> 00:21:00,057
[bong bubbles]
[blows]
500
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:03,501
[all laughing]
501
00:21:03,603 --> 00:21:05,298
"Gram-Gram's."
[bong bubbles]
502
00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:06,760
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
503
00:21:06,795 --> 00:21:10,934
- Look, I know we're best friend brothers.
- Hell yeah, 20 episode BFB's.
504
00:21:11,014 --> 00:21:14,832
But getting each others face-tatoo on our chests
is the craziest thing we've ever done.
505
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,630
Damn right. Be a shame not to
share this masterpiece
506
00:21:17,671 --> 00:21:20,631
- with the world.
- One, two, three!
507
00:21:20,766 --> 00:21:22,721
Dammit Roy!
508
00:21:22,771 --> 00:21:27,321
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