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1
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What?!
Here?!
2
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Beowulf...
3
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Gabrielle...
4
00:01:27,557 --> 00:01:29,581
- It's good to see you.
- And you, Gabrielle.
5
00:01:29,863 --> 00:01:30,496
Hey.
6
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Xena...
7
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You're a long way from home.
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What's goin' on, Beowulf?
9
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Last time you saw Gabrielle
10
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you were willing to walk through
a column of fire to be at her side.
11
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It was love-struck foolishness.
12
00:01:43,725 --> 00:01:47,256
I like my bones the way they are,
without the flesh seared from them.
13
00:01:47,758 --> 00:01:49,422
Rest, slake your thirst.
14
00:01:50,239 --> 00:01:52,317
We didn't come here
to drink with you, Beowulf.
15
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I need to see Odin.
16
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You know where to find him.
17
00:01:56,521 --> 00:01:58,568
In Valhalla, but it's not
easy to get there.
18
00:01:58,593 --> 00:01:59,593
For some!
19
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:03,796
But you were a Valkyrie once, Xena.
You know the way to Valhalla.
20
00:02:03,821 --> 00:02:06,672
Die a hero's death.
I'll escort you there myself!
21
00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:11,087
That's part of my long-range plan.
Right now, I just need to see Odin.
22
00:02:11,316 --> 00:02:12,964
Odin doesn't need to see you.
23
00:02:12,988 --> 00:02:15,082
In fact, we have orders
to keep you away from him.
24
00:02:15,494 --> 00:02:17,584
Well, I don't wanna make
a sister Valkyrie look bad,
25
00:02:17,609 --> 00:02:19,608
but you're gonna have trouble
following those orders.
26
00:02:19,633 --> 00:02:20,789
Think so?
27
00:02:31,396 --> 00:02:34,249
Ok, ok, are we rolling?
Sound... Check, check.
28
00:02:34,274 --> 00:02:38,172
Testing, 1, 2, 3.
Mary had a little lamb. Great.
29
00:02:39,056 --> 00:02:40,532
All right... Ok...
30
00:02:41,099 --> 00:02:43,637
Come on, let's go. Coming through.
Excuse me, excuse me. This way, come on.
31
00:02:52,638 --> 00:02:53,755
All right.
Get out!
32
00:02:54,910 --> 00:02:55,957
Here's Xena now.
33
00:02:56,121 --> 00:02:58,035
I think we're just gonna
go over and talk to her.
34
00:03:06,118 --> 00:03:08,391
Excuse me, coming through.
Oh! Sorry, Valkyries.
35
00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:09,503
Xena!
36
00:03:09,637 --> 00:03:12,621
Would you care to tell me why you've
returned to the Norselands at this time?
37
00:03:13,510 --> 00:03:16,858
You realize Odin has vowed to kill
you should you return to Valhalla.
38
00:03:16,883 --> 00:03:18,446
Would you care to
comment on that threat?
39
00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:20,348
Xena?
40
00:03:29,068 --> 00:03:31,381
In the time of ancient gods...
41
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:34,561
...warlords...
42
00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:36,283
...and kings...
43
00:03:36,774 --> 00:03:40,532
a land in turmoil
cried out for a hero.
44
00:03:49,288 --> 00:03:51,268
She was Xena.
45
00:03:51,711 --> 00:03:55,394
A mighty princess,
forged in the heat of battle.
46
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The power...
47
00:04:03,013 --> 00:04:04,154
the passion...
48
00:04:07,442 --> 00:04:08,701
the danger...
49
00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:16,947
Her courage will change the world.
50
00:04:18,009 --> 00:04:21,009
You Are There
51
00:04:23,793 --> 00:04:26,113
Xena, Warrior Princess.
52
00:04:26,784 --> 00:04:29,104
To many, she's seen as a savior...
53
00:04:29,452 --> 00:04:32,342
a protector of the downtrodden
and the innocent.
54
00:04:33,078 --> 00:04:35,992
Others, however, see her
as nothing more than a butcher.
55
00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:39,328
Her hands, stained with
the blood of hundreds...
56
00:04:39,353 --> 00:04:41,736
No, thousands of innocent people.
57
00:04:43,468 --> 00:04:44,170
Which is it?
58
00:04:44,757 --> 00:04:45,545
Tonight...
59
00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:48,635
we put that question
to the legendary woman herself.
60
00:04:52,514 --> 00:04:53,288
Hey...
61
00:04:54,230 --> 00:04:57,151
- Hey! Watch where you put your hands.
- We're set. Roll sound!
62
00:04:58,834 --> 00:05:00,748
Yeah, you watch where you
put your hands, buddy!
63
00:05:00,773 --> 00:05:02,297
Xena! Welcome.
64
00:05:02,687 --> 00:05:04,396
And also with us this evening...
65
00:05:04,421 --> 00:05:07,234
Gabrielle,
the Battling Bard of Poteidaea.
66
00:05:07,405 --> 00:05:11,201
Xena's constant travelling companion
and the chronicler of her deeds.
67
00:05:11,376 --> 00:05:12,217
Glad you could make it.
68
00:05:12,462 --> 00:05:13,489
Thank you. It's, um...
69
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:14,600
It's good to be here.
70
00:05:15,208 --> 00:05:17,225
Good.
Xena, first to you.
71
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:21,287
You don't have exactly the greatest
reputation here among the Norseman.
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00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:23,996
As a Valkyrie,
you used Odin's runes
73
00:05:24,021 --> 00:05:26,794
to visit a reign of terror
on the people of this land.
74
00:05:26,819 --> 00:05:29,554
- Everyone's seen the tapestry.
- Well, that was a long time ago.
75
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:30,705
So why come back now?
76
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,495
There's no love lost
between you and Odin.
77
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,169
No, but that's just it.
78
00:05:34,465 --> 00:05:35,919
That's exactly why Gabrielle
and I have returned...
79
00:05:35,944 --> 00:05:37,607
You betrayed Odin, didn't you?
80
00:05:37,777 --> 00:05:39,572
Turning his...
lover, if you will,
81
00:05:39,597 --> 00:05:41,729
Grinhilda, into a hideous monster.
82
00:05:41,754 --> 00:05:43,551
Yeah, but Xena changed her back.
83
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,709
But not before the she-beast
and her son Grindl
84
00:05:45,734 --> 00:05:48,029
sent many a Viking
warrior to Valhalla.
85
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:49,663
Is there a question
in this somewhere?
86
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:50,685
Xena...
87
00:05:51,114 --> 00:05:53,497
Is it your intention to kill Odin
88
00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:55,779
and have yourself
proclaimed a god in his place?
89
00:05:55,804 --> 00:05:57,186
- What?
- Crazy.
90
00:05:57,211 --> 00:05:59,123
Do you deny that you
stole the Rheingold?
91
00:05:59,281 --> 00:06:00,985
- No.
- And forged that into a ring
92
00:06:01,010 --> 00:06:02,676
which gave you the power of a god?
93
00:06:02,701 --> 00:06:05,506
I gave back the Rheingold.
You can ask the Rhein maidens.
94
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,141
And what about the Olympian gods?
95
00:06:07,331 --> 00:06:08,894
You destroyed them also, didn't you?
96
00:06:09,393 --> 00:06:10,627
- N-Not all of them, no.
- Oh, see...
97
00:06:10,652 --> 00:06:12,644
They were trying
to kill her daughter.
98
00:06:12,669 --> 00:06:13,382
Right.
99
00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:15,759
A daughter who was
following very successfully
100
00:06:15,784 --> 00:06:17,923
in her mother's bloody footsteps.
101
00:06:18,137 --> 00:06:20,622
Now just a doggone minute.
102
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,842
Xena, do you still have
the power to kill a god?
103
00:06:23,278 --> 00:06:25,746
I got the power to kill
much lower forms of life than that.
104
00:06:25,771 --> 00:06:26,778
What's the matter, Xena?
105
00:06:26,997 --> 00:06:28,398
Ucomfortable with the truth?
106
00:06:28,565 --> 00:06:29,315
The truth?
107
00:06:29,979 --> 00:06:30,706
You know what?
108
00:06:31,013 --> 00:06:33,661
You wouldn't know the truth
if I grew fangs and bit you...!
109
00:06:33,830 --> 00:06:35,822
Actually this interview is over.
110
00:06:35,987 --> 00:06:38,523
Come on, Xena,
why don't you just admit it?
111
00:06:38,817 --> 00:06:41,109
You've always lusted
to have the power of a god.
112
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:42,931
And now you're here to kill Odin.
113
00:06:42,956 --> 00:06:45,472
Isn't that right, Xena?
You're here to kill Odin!
114
00:06:47,384 --> 00:06:49,212
I think that was good,
I had her on the ropes.
115
00:06:50,756 --> 00:06:53,342
Xena's protestations
of innocence aside,
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00:06:53,491 --> 00:06:55,981
Odin, would do well to fear her.
117
00:06:56,287 --> 00:06:57,716
Considering the fate
of many others
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00:06:57,741 --> 00:07:01,538
who have crossed her in the past,
and ended up... here.
119
00:07:02,033 --> 00:07:03,947
On the shores of the River Styx..
120
00:07:04,322 --> 00:07:05,229
in Hades.
121
00:07:05,377 --> 00:07:08,955
Nah... I can't deny Xena's
been good for my business.
122
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,579
Wouldn't mind a vacation.
123
00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:13,016
But, hey! It's better to be workin'
than not workin', right?
124
00:07:13,611 --> 00:07:14,494
Of course it is.
125
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:17,088
What you're saying is
that most of these passengers
126
00:07:17,252 --> 00:07:18,439
are here because of Xena.
127
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:20,696
Raw numbers?
128
00:07:20,915 --> 00:07:22,697
Nah.
She's a drop in the bucket.
129
00:07:22,722 --> 00:07:25,588
But Xena has sent me
some pretty heavy hitters.
130
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:31,102
Elainus of Mycenae, Velasca, um..
Mark Antony, Callisto...
131
00:07:31,127 --> 00:07:33,391
You can even make
a case for Caesar himself.
132
00:07:33,416 --> 00:07:36,970
You see, these people do not lose
their mortal coils without a fight!
133
00:07:38,010 --> 00:07:38,800
Hey!
134
00:07:39,354 --> 00:07:40,760
Sometime this eternity!
135
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,087
Unlike this guy...
136
00:07:43,112 --> 00:07:47,627
who's just been askin' for a one-way
ticket to the underworld, if you ask me.
137
00:07:48,660 --> 00:07:49,768
I-Is this gonna take long?
138
00:07:49,793 --> 00:07:52,240
You know, because I've been waiting
for this stupid barge forever.
139
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:54,694
A-And that boatman?
I've been bumped twice already.
140
00:07:55,085 --> 00:07:55,992
Peon!
141
00:07:56,272 --> 00:07:59,247
Damned arrogant ass!
Doesn't know who I am.
142
00:07:59,272 --> 00:08:00,474
It'll only take a moment.
143
00:08:00,795 --> 00:08:03,514
I wanted to ask you
a few questions about Xena.
144
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:05,386
Xena?
145
00:08:05,803 --> 00:08:08,006
You just wanna ask me about Xena?
146
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:09,311
Fine, I'll tell you.
147
00:08:09,336 --> 00:08:10,414
She's a snake!
148
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:13,202
A treacherous deceiver,
like the rest of her sex.
149
00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:14,537
Never turn your back on her.
150
00:08:15,015 --> 00:08:17,014
She and that bard of hers...
151
00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:18,787
Yeah, like we don't know
what's goin' on there, huh?
152
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:21,226
They want you to think
that Xena fights for honor?
153
00:08:21,453 --> 00:08:22,443
And she doesn't?
154
00:08:22,882 --> 00:08:24,834
Look, I've spilled enough
blood in my day
155
00:08:24,859 --> 00:08:26,234
to know why anyone does it.
156
00:08:26,453 --> 00:08:27,453
It's the...
157
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:32,146
scent of it, taste, the thrill!
158
00:08:32,718 --> 00:08:34,139
Xena's no different!
159
00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:35,538
I'll show you.
160
00:08:36,061 --> 00:08:38,286
Hey, you, there.
Who killed you?
161
00:08:39,092 --> 00:08:40,045
You did!
162
00:08:40,428 --> 00:08:42,107
Beggin' your pardon,
I think you were drunk.
163
00:08:42,132 --> 00:08:44,405
- You slit me open from here to...
- Ba, ba, ba!
164
00:08:45,093 --> 00:08:47,511
Come on, fancy pants!
I thought you were in a hurry!
165
00:08:47,536 --> 00:08:49,060
Get your hands off of me.
166
00:08:49,085 --> 00:08:50,834
I'm in the middle of an interview,
you impudent cur!
167
00:08:50,859 --> 00:08:51,850
Yeah, yeah...
168
00:08:51,874 --> 00:08:53,968
You may have been
a big-shot on Earth,
169
00:08:53,993 --> 00:08:56,126
but down here you're just dead.
170
00:08:56,330 --> 00:08:57,796
Get used to it!
171
00:08:58,297 --> 00:08:59,719
- Come on.
- Xena's evil!
172
00:08:59,744 --> 00:09:02,767
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
I was a god!
173
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,565
A living god!
And that bitch took me out.
174
00:09:08,194 --> 00:09:10,139
There's one more
thing I'd like to say.
175
00:09:10,608 --> 00:09:13,038
At least Xena pays her fare.
176
00:09:13,346 --> 00:09:16,541
Unlike another so-called
superhero I know.
177
00:09:17,050 --> 00:09:19,097
More like super-cheapskate.
178
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,798
That's right.
I'm talkin' about you, Hercules.
179
00:09:24,267 --> 00:09:25,251
Hercules...
180
00:09:25,980 --> 00:09:30,621
"I was a god! A living god!
And that bitch took me out."
181
00:09:31,441 --> 00:09:35,199
Odin declined an interview for this
story but a source within Valhalla...
182
00:09:35,224 --> 00:09:38,544
did agree to speak with us
on a condition of strict anonymity.
183
00:09:38,763 --> 00:09:39,451
Welcome.
184
00:09:39,765 --> 00:09:42,460
I understand that you're
masking your identity...
185
00:09:42,887 --> 00:09:44,904
in a magic Cloak of Invisibility.
186
00:09:45,364 --> 00:09:46,661
That is correct.
187
00:09:46,915 --> 00:09:49,407
And that you understand,
what Xena wants here.
188
00:09:49,578 --> 00:09:50,914
Oh, I know, all right.
189
00:09:52,823 --> 00:09:53,894
Apples.
190
00:09:55,092 --> 00:09:57,834
- Excuse me, you said "apples"?
- What are you, deaf?
191
00:09:58,263 --> 00:09:59,990
She wants the Golden Apples.
192
00:10:00,631 --> 00:10:01,960
Ah, I understand.
193
00:10:02,592 --> 00:10:04,045
The Golden Apples.
194
00:10:04,151 --> 00:10:07,034
Protected by Frigga,
Odin's sister-in-law.
195
00:10:07,268 --> 00:10:10,479
It is rumored that whoever
eats the Golden Apples
196
00:10:10,601 --> 00:10:12,711
will become a god themselves.
197
00:10:13,756 --> 00:10:16,389
That's right.
Xena wants to be a god...
198
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,592
Goddess... Whatever.
199
00:10:18,897 --> 00:10:20,186
Before we get into that...
200
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:22,810
you claim to have
masked your identity
201
00:10:22,977 --> 00:10:24,766
in a magic Cloak of Invisibility.
202
00:10:25,348 --> 00:10:29,700
But isn't it true that only Odin
himself knows the mystic runes
203
00:10:29,725 --> 00:10:31,271
whereby he can make himself...
204
00:10:31,521 --> 00:10:32,367
invisible?
205
00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:35,557
Damn it.
206
00:10:40,530 --> 00:10:41,545
Look...
207
00:10:42,479 --> 00:10:44,448
I don't mind if you know it's me.
208
00:10:44,767 --> 00:10:47,276
I just want to appeal
to all loyal Norsemen
209
00:10:47,301 --> 00:10:50,488
to do whatever they can to stop
Xena from getting into Valhalla
210
00:10:50,513 --> 00:10:52,747
and stealing the Golden Apples!
211
00:10:53,045 --> 00:10:54,748
Why does she wanna steal
the Golden Apples?
212
00:10:54,773 --> 00:10:56,365
So she can become a god!
213
00:10:57,236 --> 00:10:58,010
Look...
214
00:10:58,569 --> 00:11:00,983
She'll return Ares to Olympus...
215
00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:04,633
who will in exchange...
make her his queen.
216
00:11:04,954 --> 00:11:05,876
But surely...
217
00:11:06,157 --> 00:11:08,696
Ares and Xena have
an adversarial history.
218
00:11:09,150 --> 00:11:12,041
You buy that, do you? Huh?
You would.
219
00:11:12,474 --> 00:11:14,466
Did you ever stop and think...
220
00:11:14,694 --> 00:11:18,793
why Xena didn't kill Ares
when she had a chance, hmm?
221
00:11:19,268 --> 00:11:20,831
It's because she's got
a thing for him!
222
00:11:20,856 --> 00:11:23,363
She's always had a thing for him!
223
00:11:23,899 --> 00:11:27,801
So, Xena's gonna be a god,
or a goddess, or whatever.
224
00:11:27,826 --> 00:11:30,970
Well, it's not gonna happen,
you hear me, Xena?
225
00:11:30,995 --> 00:11:34,745
You stay away from Valhalla or you
know what's gonna happen to you!
226
00:11:38,138 --> 00:11:40,654
You'll never be a god, Xena!
227
00:11:48,678 --> 00:11:51,944
It seems that we are witnessing
an epic struggle here!
228
00:11:52,175 --> 00:11:55,964
On the one hand, Odin
and his precious Golden Apples.
229
00:11:56,108 --> 00:12:00,842
And on the other, Xena, seemingly
determined to possess them for herself.
230
00:12:01,468 --> 00:12:02,460
But why?
231
00:12:08,669 --> 00:12:09,458
Gabrielle!
232
00:12:09,759 --> 00:12:10,501
Gabrielle...
233
00:12:10,643 --> 00:12:12,353
Can you tell me if there's
a sexual relationship
234
00:12:12,378 --> 00:12:14,058
going on between Ares and Xena?
235
00:12:14,246 --> 00:12:15,785
What are you doing here?!
236
00:12:15,810 --> 00:12:17,715
Is Xena Ares' love slave?
237
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,054
But there was one
other person who
238
00:12:33,079 --> 00:12:34,819
could shed some
light on the twisted,
239
00:12:34,844 --> 00:12:37,727
codependent relationship between
the Warrior Princess
240
00:12:37,751 --> 00:12:39,282
and the God of War.
241
00:12:47,401 --> 00:12:48,526
Go away.
242
00:12:51,719 --> 00:12:53,289
I said get lost!
243
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:54,767
There's definitely
somebody in there.
244
00:12:55,302 --> 00:12:56,318
I'm gonna keep trying.
245
00:12:57,586 --> 00:12:59,195
What do you want?
I'm busy.
246
00:13:01,282 --> 00:13:03,422
Are you Ares, the former God of War?
247
00:13:04,726 --> 00:13:05,726
Who wants to know?
248
00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:08,313
We're here asking
a few questions about Xena.
249
00:13:08,338 --> 00:13:10,119
Why does she wanna steal
the Golden Apples?
250
00:13:11,106 --> 00:13:12,879
I got nothin' to say about Xena.
251
00:13:13,203 --> 00:13:16,730
Odin believes it's because she wants
to restore you to Olympus.
252
00:13:18,990 --> 00:13:20,396
That'd be damn nice.
253
00:13:21,114 --> 00:13:24,341
As you can see, I haven't exactly got
the hang of this whole mortal gig.
254
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:27,209
But let me make it straight.
Xena owes me nothing!
255
00:13:27,554 --> 00:13:30,046
According to Odin,
you and she have cut a deal
256
00:13:30,071 --> 00:13:33,587
whereby she will reign
by your side as your queen.
257
00:13:37,572 --> 00:13:40,274
Xena's had plenty of
opportunities to be my queen.
258
00:13:40,275 --> 00:13:41,798
Frankly,
the job doesn't interest her.
259
00:13:41,823 --> 00:13:43,956
Have you spoken with Xena recently?
260
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:46,783
Listen, buddy. I wasn't the only god
sent down from Olympus.
261
00:13:46,808 --> 00:13:47,904
Why are you buggin' me?
262
00:13:47,929 --> 00:13:49,404
Are you saying that
there are other gods
263
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:51,257
- who survived Xena's attack?
- Yo! Ares!
264
00:13:51,282 --> 00:13:53,126
Wait a minute. Who's that?
Can I? I think we should.
265
00:13:53,151 --> 00:13:54,737
- Hey, hey!
- We're gonna go in here.
266
00:13:54,762 --> 00:13:56,133
This is private property!
267
00:13:56,158 --> 00:13:57,010
Follow me.
268
00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:59,010
Check it out.
269
00:14:00,470 --> 00:14:01,298
All right...
270
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:02,826
Ya happy?
271
00:14:03,365 --> 00:14:06,333
You see what the God of War has
come to? Well, have a good look.
272
00:14:06,358 --> 00:14:08,562
- Laugh it up!
- Ares, what's the commo...?
273
00:14:09,948 --> 00:14:12,206
You...
What are you doing here?
274
00:14:12,231 --> 00:14:15,517
Xena... I was right.
You and Ares are plotting together.
275
00:14:16,168 --> 00:14:20,259
- Stay out of my business, Nigel.
- Xena, are you in love with Ares?
276
00:14:20,284 --> 00:14:23,787
All right, that's it!
Get out! Get out! Get the hell out!
277
00:14:23,812 --> 00:14:24,804
Try and get...
278
00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:28,095
You're animals! Scavengers!
Get outta here!
279
00:14:31,378 --> 00:14:34,276
Do you think Odin has
anything to fear from Xena?
280
00:14:34,814 --> 00:14:35,932
Let me put it this way...
281
00:14:36,174 --> 00:14:38,236
If it were my tail
feathers on the line...
282
00:14:38,813 --> 00:14:40,063
I wouldn't trust Xena.
283
00:14:40,475 --> 00:14:43,287
That's not a very charitable attitude...
coming from an angel.
284
00:14:43,639 --> 00:14:44,480
Archangel.
285
00:14:45,835 --> 00:14:47,483
Archangel... Sorry.
286
00:14:50,068 --> 00:14:51,709
Surely, as an archangel,
287
00:14:51,733 --> 00:14:54,639
you are a creature of light,
ethereal and pure.
288
00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:58,041
Isn't it your job to believe
in the essential goodness of man?
289
00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:01,514
Please!
290
00:15:01,873 --> 00:15:04,912
We help mankind to strive
to achieve goodness...
291
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,123
but we're not stupid.
292
00:15:06,827 --> 00:15:09,509
Mankind has free will, and Xena...
293
00:15:09,718 --> 00:15:11,474
she exercises hers with abandon.
294
00:15:11,812 --> 00:15:13,413
Would you care to give
us an example?
295
00:15:13,881 --> 00:15:16,342
She puts her own self-interest
ahead of the greater good.
296
00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:17,226
Did you know...
297
00:15:17,406 --> 00:15:19,422
she risked unleashing
Hell on Earth
298
00:15:19,635 --> 00:15:21,104
to protect her own daughter?
299
00:15:21,294 --> 00:15:24,854
But then surely she prevented that,
by killing Mephistopheles on Earth.
300
00:15:24,879 --> 00:15:28,660
And by doing that, she fated herself
to take his place in Hell!
301
00:15:28,685 --> 00:15:29,810
Which she did not.
302
00:15:32,315 --> 00:15:33,182
Get this...
303
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:35,462
She cast one of our own,
304
00:15:35,487 --> 00:15:38,550
archangel Lucifer,
down into Hell to take her place.
305
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:41,534
- Xena corrupted an angel?
- Archangel!
306
00:15:43,753 --> 00:15:45,487
And if she's capable
of doing that...
307
00:15:45,652 --> 00:15:49,457
of seducing an archangel into assuming
the throne of Hell, you tell me!
308
00:15:50,106 --> 00:15:51,950
Who wouldn't she be
willing to screw over?
309
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,478
Who, indeed?
310
00:16:12,573 --> 00:16:13,305
Hello.
311
00:16:13,566 --> 00:16:15,542
I'm here, in Hell.
312
00:16:15,758 --> 00:16:19,454
And I'm about to do what no other
reporter has ever done before.
313
00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:21,941
I'm going to interview... Lucifer.
314
00:16:23,694 --> 00:16:26,702
Excuse me, sir? Sir?
Horned one?
315
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,436
Is it true that you are
the Prince of Darkness?
316
00:16:29,740 --> 00:16:30,763
What are you?
317
00:16:30,788 --> 00:16:34,061
Please, try not to avoid the question.
The public want the truth.
318
00:16:34,086 --> 00:16:36,703
A portrait of the real demon
behind the myth.
319
00:16:37,187 --> 00:16:38,257
The real demon?
320
00:16:38,476 --> 00:16:40,242
Please, try not
to cover anything up.
321
00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:41,860
Cover anything up?
322
00:16:42,110 --> 00:16:45,134
I'm the devil, you idiot!
I'm really bad.
323
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:48,693
I'm evil incarnate.
What do I have to cover up?
324
00:16:49,428 --> 00:16:50,951
Right, you have a point there.
325
00:16:51,369 --> 00:16:52,885
What are you doing here anyway?
326
00:16:54,482 --> 00:16:55,834
Are you one of mine?
327
00:16:55,859 --> 00:16:57,593
No... No, no, no, no, no.
Not at all, no.
328
00:16:57,617 --> 00:17:00,241
I'm part of
a journalistic invistigation.
329
00:17:00,415 --> 00:17:01,978
An investigation of Xena.
330
00:17:05,887 --> 00:17:06,621
Xena?
331
00:17:06,646 --> 00:17:09,178
You dare mention
her name in my kingdom?
332
00:17:09,203 --> 00:17:11,539
So, you're not a fan
of the Warrior Princess.
333
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,319
Let me ask you something.
334
00:17:13,344 --> 00:17:15,958
Do I look like a guy who
enjoys his present position?
335
00:17:15,983 --> 00:17:18,045
Do you think I asked for this gig?
336
00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:19,852
I used to be an archangel
on the way up!
337
00:17:19,877 --> 00:17:21,415
And then she came along!
338
00:17:21,951 --> 00:17:24,936
So, you're confirming
the reports that Xena,
339
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,994
in order to avoid her
own responsibilites in Hell,
340
00:17:28,019 --> 00:17:31,373
fooled an archangel into assumsing
the throne of the underworld.
341
00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:34,781
She'll defend herself saying my pride
and ambition brought me down.
342
00:17:35,202 --> 00:17:38,992
But I wouldn't be here if
it wasn't for her lies an deceit!
343
00:17:39,148 --> 00:17:42,149
Then you believe the word of Xena
is not to be trusted?
344
00:17:42,174 --> 00:17:44,280
She's a lying sack!
345
00:17:46,346 --> 00:17:48,416
I only wish I could
get her down here.
346
00:17:49,768 --> 00:17:52,901
Mete out some serious
everlasting punishment.
347
00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:56,608
Well... That's not
an impossible dream.
348
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,554
Given Xena's exploits on Earth...
349
00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:01,703
I'm sure that she's bought
herself a one-way ticket...
350
00:18:01,727 --> 00:18:02,626
to Hell.
351
00:18:05,398 --> 00:18:06,765
I wish.
352
00:18:08,672 --> 00:18:10,235
With all her do-gooding...
353
00:18:10,409 --> 00:18:13,136
I fear she's escaped my wrath.
354
00:18:13,473 --> 00:18:15,981
In a sense,
you're defending her character.
355
00:18:16,194 --> 00:18:17,695
Which of course,
is what Satan would do.
356
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,978
Try to defend one of
his own demons on Earth.
357
00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:24,972
Y'know, you're a real pain.
I can't wait to get you down here.
358
00:18:25,988 --> 00:18:28,510
With respect, sir,
that's not going to happen.
359
00:18:28,535 --> 00:18:31,125
You see,
I'm not a murdering warlord.
360
00:18:31,150 --> 00:18:32,158
No, no, no. I'm...
361
00:18:32,182 --> 00:18:33,951
I'm an award-winning
investigative journalist.
362
00:18:33,976 --> 00:18:35,468
I'm a member of the fifth estate!
363
00:18:35,845 --> 00:18:36,892
Like I said.
364
00:18:38,153 --> 00:18:40,669
I can't wait to get
my claws into you.
365
00:18:45,668 --> 00:18:49,332
And so we... we conclude
a rather disturbing interview...
366
00:18:49,755 --> 00:18:51,161
with the Prince of Darkness.
367
00:19:06,754 --> 00:19:10,613
There she is. Follow me.
Excuse me. Excuse me!
368
00:19:11,882 --> 00:19:12,899
Are you Eve?
369
00:19:13,392 --> 00:19:15,111
Do you wish to join
our prayer circle?
370
00:19:15,136 --> 00:19:16,136
No, not today, thanks.
371
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,401
I'd like to ask you a couple of
questions about your mother, Xena.
372
00:19:20,489 --> 00:19:21,957
Whatever you wish to know,
373
00:19:21,982 --> 00:19:23,732
my mother can answer for herself.
374
00:19:24,060 --> 00:19:24,766
Excuse us.
375
00:19:24,791 --> 00:19:26,229
It's just a few questions.
376
00:19:27,007 --> 00:19:29,038
Is Xena trying to make
herself into a god?
377
00:19:29,432 --> 00:19:31,628
There is only one god.
The god of Eli.
378
00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:33,551
He teaches us to walk
the Path of Love.
379
00:19:33,552 --> 00:19:36,678
I see. And does your mother
walk the Path of Love?
380
00:19:36,849 --> 00:19:39,560
My mother respects our faith.
She would do nothing to offend it.
381
00:19:39,585 --> 00:19:40,819
Not even for Ares?
382
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:42,655
What about Ares?
383
00:19:42,787 --> 00:19:44,889
Well, Xena wants to
restore him to Olympus.
384
00:19:44,914 --> 00:19:47,116
She's cut a deal to rule
with him at his side.
385
00:19:47,449 --> 00:19:49,683
No.
The time of the many gods is passed.
386
00:19:49,708 --> 00:19:52,372
Then why is Xena trying
to steal the Golden Apples?
387
00:19:52,397 --> 00:19:55,187
And why is she shacked up with Ares?
Did you know that?
388
00:19:55,212 --> 00:19:57,179
That's the same Ares that killed Eli
389
00:19:57,204 --> 00:19:59,173
while your mother stood by
and did nothing.
390
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:00,945
You want to know about my mother?
391
00:20:01,131 --> 00:20:03,000
- I will tell you about my mother!
- Keep shooting.
392
00:20:03,025 --> 00:20:05,315
You little ****!
If my mother is with Ares
393
00:20:05,340 --> 00:20:07,379
you can bet she's got
a pretty ******* good reason!
394
00:20:07,404 --> 00:20:10,154
Are you still jealous that Ares
was obsessed with your mother
395
00:20:10,179 --> 00:20:11,999
the entire time
he was sleeping with you?
396
00:20:12,024 --> 00:20:14,040
- You ******* brat!
- Hey, get off! Get off me!
397
00:20:14,065 --> 00:20:15,760
Stay the hell away from my mother!
398
00:20:15,986 --> 00:20:18,728
You stay the **** away from me,
or I will kick your ******* ***!
399
00:20:19,088 --> 00:20:21,238
Not the kind of words
you'd expect to hear from Eve,
400
00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:22,380
the messenger of Eli.
401
00:20:22,405 --> 00:20:24,717
Whatever happened to walking
the Path of Light, Eve?
402
00:20:24,742 --> 00:20:25,758
**** off!
403
00:20:25,783 --> 00:20:27,562
You want your mother
on Olympus, don't you?
404
00:20:27,587 --> 00:20:29,705
You wanna see the God of War
put back on his throne,
405
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:33,464
so that you, and Xena and Ares can
continue your bloody menage a trois!
406
00:20:39,288 --> 00:20:39,958
Tell me...
407
00:20:40,936 --> 00:20:42,585
Tell me you got that.
You got that, didn't you?
408
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:44,406
Did you get that?
You got that, huh?
409
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,790
A shocking display
from the messenger of Eli.
410
00:20:48,235 --> 00:20:51,891
But not so shocking, perhaps,
coming from the daughter... of Xena.
411
00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:54,275
For Xena provokes strong emotions
412
00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:55,878
among those who cross her path.
413
00:20:56,174 --> 00:20:58,924
Feelings of intense fear
and hatred among her enemies...
414
00:20:59,151 --> 00:21:02,510
and equally intense feelings
of loyalty among her friends.
415
00:21:02,994 --> 00:21:05,072
And it is perhaps, this loyalty
416
00:21:05,354 --> 00:21:07,667
that brings the person sitting
opposite me this evening
417
00:21:07,668 --> 00:21:08,824
into the studio.
418
00:21:09,130 --> 00:21:09,894
Gabrielle...
419
00:21:10,409 --> 00:21:11,581
Thank you talking with us.
420
00:21:11,967 --> 00:21:14,436
Well, you're welcome.
But don't thank me.
421
00:21:14,461 --> 00:21:16,766
I'm here to tell you that
you're wrong about Xena.
422
00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:18,527
Wrong in what way?
423
00:21:19,001 --> 00:21:21,126
In every way. Xena...
424
00:21:21,699 --> 00:21:23,673
You know, you make it sound
like Ares and Xena
425
00:21:23,698 --> 00:21:26,504
have this conspiracy
to try to rule the world.
426
00:21:26,771 --> 00:21:30,093
- But they don't?
- No, Xena wants to save the world.
427
00:21:30,118 --> 00:21:32,368
That's why she needs
the Golden Apples.
428
00:21:32,648 --> 00:21:35,406
And I suppose that Ares
wants to save the world also.
429
00:21:36,891 --> 00:21:38,422
It's hard to explain. He...
430
00:21:38,611 --> 00:21:40,361
Well, maybe it's not
so hard, Gabrielle.
431
00:21:40,494 --> 00:21:41,697
Maybe it's quite simple.
432
00:21:42,154 --> 00:21:45,295
Maybe it's not Xena's lust
for war that drives her...
433
00:21:45,545 --> 00:21:47,584
but Xena's lust for the God of War.
434
00:21:49,036 --> 00:21:51,294
Xena doesn't lust after Ares.
435
00:21:51,594 --> 00:21:54,766
Gabrielle, kindly direct
your attention to the monitor.
436
00:22:11,952 --> 00:22:13,710
So, they have history.
437
00:22:14,390 --> 00:22:15,695
It doesn't mean anything.
438
00:22:16,915 --> 00:22:18,743
Gabrielle, isn't it possible
that you're confused
439
00:22:18,768 --> 00:22:20,448
by your own feelings for Xena?
440
00:22:20,754 --> 00:22:23,174
- By my feelings for Xena?
- Come on, Gabrielle...
441
00:22:23,199 --> 00:22:26,590
I know that Xena is more
to you than just a friend.
442
00:22:27,566 --> 00:22:30,238
Ok. You're right.
She's... She's my best friend.
443
00:22:30,366 --> 00:22:31,593
What would you say, Gabrielle,
444
00:22:31,618 --> 00:22:35,337
if I told you that not too long ago
I found your... friend... Xena...
445
00:22:35,876 --> 00:22:38,566
in a tumbledown little loveshack
at the edge of town
446
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:40,263
in the arms of Ares?
447
00:22:43,527 --> 00:22:45,128
How do you feel
about that, Gabrielle?
448
00:22:47,404 --> 00:22:48,545
I don't know how I feel.
449
00:22:48,864 --> 00:22:50,005
Tell us all the truth.
450
00:22:50,377 --> 00:22:51,815
You and Xena are lovers, aren't you?
451
00:22:51,839 --> 00:22:55,190
Or should I say, you were lovers
until you were replace by Ares.
452
00:22:56,133 --> 00:22:57,033
Gabrielle?
453
00:22:57,900 --> 00:22:58,657
I...
454
00:23:00,106 --> 00:23:00,942
Gabrielle...
455
00:23:01,351 --> 00:23:03,414
Are you in love with Xena?
456
00:23:05,911 --> 00:23:07,200
I don't love Xena.
457
00:23:12,091 --> 00:23:12,730
Wait.
458
00:23:12,943 --> 00:23:14,185
You mean you don't love Xena?
459
00:23:14,210 --> 00:23:16,940
- Hey! It's a closed set!
- Closed set my butt!
460
00:23:16,965 --> 00:23:18,387
Get out of my way!
461
00:23:21,134 --> 00:23:21,936
Gabrielle...
462
00:23:21,961 --> 00:23:24,397
Xena, I was just trying to stop him
from telling lies about you.
463
00:23:24,405 --> 00:23:26,366
- I know. Let's go.
- No, no! Wait, wait!
464
00:23:26,391 --> 00:23:27,163
Xena...
465
00:23:27,962 --> 00:23:29,665
Are you in love with Gabrielle?
466
00:23:31,346 --> 00:23:32,971
You got some pair on you, mister.
467
00:23:33,107 --> 00:23:34,591
Hey, I'm just doing my job.
468
00:23:34,616 --> 00:23:36,155
And I'm just doin' mine.
469
00:23:39,175 --> 00:23:40,753
If you've done your research,
you'll know
470
00:23:40,778 --> 00:23:43,004
that I've just cut off the flow
of blood to your brain.
471
00:23:43,029 --> 00:23:46,052
You got 30 seconds to listen to what
I have to say. Do you understand?
472
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:47,697
Understand?
473
00:23:49,870 --> 00:23:52,457
You wanna know
if I love Gabrielle...
474
00:23:52,748 --> 00:23:54,412
Well, let me ask you a question...
475
00:23:55,244 --> 00:23:57,666
Do you love anybody?
476
00:23:58,332 --> 00:24:02,621
Do you love your wife? Do you love
your dog? Do you love yourself?
477
00:24:03,034 --> 00:24:05,815
Is there anyone in this world
that you love with all your heart?
478
00:24:06,367 --> 00:24:07,758
No, there isn't, is there?
479
00:24:08,178 --> 00:24:11,068
Because you can't love.
None of us can.
480
00:24:11,643 --> 00:24:14,046
The world has lost the greatest gift
the gods ever gave us
481
00:24:14,071 --> 00:24:15,649
and I'm gonna get it back.
482
00:24:16,368 --> 00:24:17,728
Now that's your story.
483
00:24:21,870 --> 00:24:25,418
You hear me, Odin?
I'm coming for you!
484
00:24:26,872 --> 00:24:29,372
- So what's the plan?
- I'm going after Odin.
485
00:24:29,686 --> 00:24:31,303
Well, there's gotta be
more to it than that.
486
00:24:31,437 --> 00:24:32,447
Why do you do that?
487
00:24:32,472 --> 00:24:34,753
- Do what?
- Ask me to spell out the plan!
488
00:24:34,912 --> 00:24:37,264
You'd think after all these years,
you could maybe join the dots yourself.
489
00:24:37,289 --> 00:24:39,099
Well, why do I have
to drag it out of you?
490
00:24:39,124 --> 00:24:40,132
You know, I wish I knew the pinch!
491
00:24:40,157 --> 00:24:42,216
I would force you to share
your little plan with me.
492
00:24:42,241 --> 00:24:44,913
No, no, no. You can take the pinch off,
but you're not allowed to put the pinch on.
493
00:24:44,938 --> 00:24:46,125
Oh, I'm not allowed?
494
00:24:46,375 --> 00:24:48,649
Oh, that's right, I'm the sidekick!
495
00:24:48,949 --> 00:24:52,206
You go ahead, Xena. I'll walk 10
paces behind you and your horse.
496
00:24:52,233 --> 00:24:56,266
- You could walk beside my horse!
- That's really big of you, Xena!
497
00:24:56,618 --> 00:24:57,485
Gabrielle, stop.
498
00:24:58,746 --> 00:25:00,481
What's going on?
This isn't us.
499
00:25:01,691 --> 00:25:02,973
We're saying things that...
500
00:25:02,998 --> 00:25:04,732
people who love each other
wouldn't ever say.
501
00:25:04,757 --> 00:25:05,645
Yeah.
502
00:25:06,368 --> 00:25:09,321
We've gotta get love back
into the world, Gabrielle, and fast.
503
00:25:09,346 --> 00:25:11,338
Right.
So what's the plan?
504
00:25:13,733 --> 00:25:15,499
A world... without love.
505
00:25:16,069 --> 00:25:19,242
A world where the skills
of the delicious goddess...
506
00:25:19,502 --> 00:25:22,456
no longer lift us to heights
of almost intolerable pleasure.
507
00:25:22,668 --> 00:25:24,082
Well, anything is possible.
508
00:25:24,293 --> 00:25:26,746
But surely...
Surely the truth is...
509
00:25:27,441 --> 00:25:29,207
Excuse me, excuse me,
I'm trying to report here.
510
00:25:29,232 --> 00:25:32,716
The truth is that both Xe... Thank you.
that both Xena and Ares are plotting...
511
00:25:33,545 --> 00:25:34,248
Thank you.
512
00:25:34,661 --> 00:25:37,033
Both Xena and Ares are plotting
to divert this reporter...
513
00:25:37,058 --> 00:25:38,980
from getting to the truth.
So, we've decided...
514
00:25:39,005 --> 00:25:41,833
Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me!
That's it! Hands! Hands! Hands...
515
00:25:41,858 --> 00:25:43,979
So we've decided
to come to the one place
516
00:25:43,980 --> 00:25:46,006
where love is rarely
in short supply.
517
00:25:46,031 --> 00:25:47,881
- Got a number?
- Excuse me, no.
518
00:25:47,906 --> 00:25:49,741
- Did you take a number?
- Excuse me. Over here.
519
00:25:49,766 --> 00:25:51,241
- Can't you count?
- Excuse me.
520
00:25:51,266 --> 00:25:53,196
All right! All right!
I know you're there!
521
00:25:53,221 --> 00:25:54,439
You go after him.
522
00:25:54,651 --> 00:25:56,393
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
523
00:25:57,114 --> 00:25:59,004
Hi, there.
I wonder if we might have a word.
524
00:25:59,029 --> 00:26:01,081
Well, what'll it be tonight?
525
00:26:01,106 --> 00:26:04,786
We're running a special on a little
number we call "Thor's Hammer"
526
00:26:04,811 --> 00:26:08,218
or for a bit extra, you can get
"The ride of the Valkyries".
527
00:26:09,077 --> 00:26:10,858
"The ride of the Valkyries",
that sounds...
528
00:26:11,469 --> 00:26:13,360
Well, business appears to be booming.
529
00:26:15,714 --> 00:26:16,980
Well, look around!
530
00:26:17,005 --> 00:26:20,231
My boys know where to come
to dock their longboats.
531
00:26:20,419 --> 00:26:21,826
If you catch my drift.
532
00:26:23,681 --> 00:26:26,564
So you would say, then that
there has been no sudden
533
00:26:26,589 --> 00:26:28,331
shortage of love in the world.
534
00:26:28,533 --> 00:26:30,197
Oh, I didn't say that, now.
535
00:26:30,321 --> 00:26:32,016
You did say business was booming.
536
00:26:33,430 --> 00:26:35,828
My business has never
been about love.
537
00:26:36,189 --> 00:26:38,337
If these boys
were looking for love...
538
00:26:38,544 --> 00:26:41,912
they'd be wooing their sweethearts...
or at home with their wives.
539
00:26:41,937 --> 00:26:45,554
The less love I have to deal with,
the fatter my purse.
540
00:26:46,585 --> 00:26:47,468
Interesting.
541
00:26:47,835 --> 00:26:51,995
Calling number 27!
One "Thor's Hammer"!
542
00:26:52,020 --> 00:26:54,870
Will make you feel
like the God of Thunder!
543
00:26:54,895 --> 00:26:59,216
- 27? Yo! I got 27!
- Ares, the former God of War!
544
00:27:00,112 --> 00:27:01,690
No, I'm not.
545
00:27:02,628 --> 00:27:03,318
Crap!
546
00:27:03,343 --> 00:27:05,156
We found Ares,
the former God of War,
547
00:27:05,181 --> 00:27:08,078
half-naked and stinking
of booze in a bordello.
548
00:27:08,103 --> 00:27:09,533
I'm tryin' to get laid!
I'm not a criminal!
549
00:27:09,558 --> 00:27:11,269
I'm following him now.
Excuse me, I'm...
550
00:27:19,718 --> 00:27:23,194
As news of our
investigation has spread...
551
00:27:24,692 --> 00:27:27,114
we've been contacted by a source...
552
00:27:27,460 --> 00:27:29,101
who claims to have some answers.
553
00:27:29,478 --> 00:27:30,127
Halt.
554
00:27:30,586 --> 00:27:31,773
Come no further.
555
00:27:32,323 --> 00:27:33,487
The source...
556
00:27:42,312 --> 00:27:43,203
Who are you?
557
00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:44,625
That's not important...
558
00:27:44,996 --> 00:27:46,442
but what I have to tell you is.
559
00:27:46,948 --> 00:27:49,104
You're following the wrong story.
560
00:27:49,379 --> 00:27:50,308
What do you mean?
561
00:27:50,621 --> 00:27:52,988
Xena's trying to put a god
back on Olympus, all right.
562
00:27:53,194 --> 00:27:54,475
But not the one you think.
563
00:27:54,656 --> 00:27:55,351
But...
564
00:27:55,532 --> 00:27:56,438
which god?
565
00:27:56,598 --> 00:27:58,270
You'll have to find
that out for yourself.
566
00:27:58,808 --> 00:27:59,978
I'm in great danger.
567
00:28:00,003 --> 00:28:02,026
If Odin discovers
I have betrayed him...
568
00:28:02,051 --> 00:28:02,801
All right.
569
00:28:03,489 --> 00:28:04,723
Here's what I'll do...
570
00:28:05,528 --> 00:28:09,857
I'll mention each god by name,
and then I will count 5 seconds.
571
00:28:10,032 --> 00:28:12,781
If within that period,
you fail to respond
572
00:28:12,806 --> 00:28:15,694
I'll assume the answer is "yes".
Understand?
573
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,439
- 5 seconds? What...?
- Ok. I'm counting.
574
00:28:20,078 --> 00:28:20,750
Right...
575
00:28:21,616 --> 00:28:22,554
Hades...
576
00:28:22,709 --> 00:28:25,138
1 hippopotamus, 2 hippopotamus,
577
00:28:25,163 --> 00:28:27,129
3 hippopotamus, 4...
578
00:28:27,154 --> 00:28:29,373
Forget it!
I don't have time for this.
579
00:28:29,398 --> 00:28:30,179
Wait!
580
00:28:32,272 --> 00:28:36,065
If Ares and Xena aren't conspiring,
what are they doing together?
581
00:28:36,090 --> 00:28:38,518
This isn't about Xena and Ares.
582
00:28:39,086 --> 00:28:42,281
Xena will play whatever card she
needs to to get what she desires.
583
00:28:42,598 --> 00:28:44,989
What if she desires
to be a goddess?
584
00:28:45,014 --> 00:28:45,852
Fool.
585
00:28:46,312 --> 00:28:48,046
Xena doesn't wanna rule the world.
586
00:28:48,517 --> 00:28:49,689
She wants to save it.
587
00:28:49,905 --> 00:28:53,116
- How can you be so sure?
- Because she saved me.
588
00:28:53,712 --> 00:28:56,001
Wait!
Where do I go from here?
589
00:28:56,550 --> 00:28:57,870
Follow the love.
590
00:29:00,690 --> 00:29:03,300
Follow... the love...
591
00:29:06,122 --> 00:29:07,489
Follow the love...
592
00:29:07,872 --> 00:29:11,520
A bizarre command in a world
seemingly devoid of love.
593
00:29:12,748 --> 00:29:16,584
Yet something... has brought these
desperate people... to this place...
594
00:29:16,822 --> 00:29:21,088
in the hope that here they will find
whatever is missing in their lives.
595
00:29:21,954 --> 00:29:24,798
They, too, are responding to
the unspoken command
596
00:29:25,195 --> 00:29:26,517
to follow the love.
597
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,455
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Can I get through here, please?
598
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,770
Uh, media here. Media.
Thank you. Excuse me.
599
00:29:31,795 --> 00:29:33,153
May I ask you a few questions?
600
00:29:33,178 --> 00:29:35,168
I said, keep your
mortal meathooks...!
601
00:29:36,128 --> 00:29:37,464
Oh, my! What's this?
602
00:29:37,473 --> 00:29:38,417
Aphrodite...
603
00:29:38,442 --> 00:29:40,371
Hello, there!
Hey...
604
00:29:41,273 --> 00:29:42,428
Get off!
605
00:29:44,350 --> 00:29:48,098
I'm here with Aphrodite,
the former Goddess of Love.
606
00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:51,791
Aphrodite, forgive me, but...
607
00:29:52,209 --> 00:29:55,107
didn't you completely lose your mind
after what happened with Caligula?
608
00:29:55,132 --> 00:29:56,500
Oh, yeah, I did.
609
00:29:56,524 --> 00:29:59,836
But Xena pulled me out of
my madness and gave me back my life.
610
00:30:01,035 --> 00:30:03,558
If you can call this
earthbound existence living.
611
00:30:03,852 --> 00:30:07,766
Destined to grow,
old and wrinkled...
612
00:30:09,043 --> 00:30:10,340
and sagging.
613
00:30:10,954 --> 00:30:13,860
Aphrodite, these people...
What are they all doing here?
614
00:30:14,097 --> 00:30:15,886
- Can you see this?
- What?
615
00:30:16,585 --> 00:30:17,629
This line.
616
00:30:17,653 --> 00:30:20,648
How can you not see it?
My face looks like a Roman road map!
617
00:30:20,656 --> 00:30:22,867
Oh, well, I really can
hardly even see it.
618
00:30:23,135 --> 00:30:24,261
You can see it!
619
00:30:24,590 --> 00:30:25,209
No.
620
00:30:25,485 --> 00:30:26,228
No, uh...
621
00:30:26,452 --> 00:30:29,335
Aphrodite, these people...
What is it they want?
622
00:30:30,106 --> 00:30:31,384
Oh, well...
623
00:30:31,824 --> 00:30:34,261
When I left Olympus,
the world was full of my love,
624
00:30:34,286 --> 00:30:38,520
but with me no longer there
to replenish it, it's just faded away.
625
00:30:38,545 --> 00:30:42,553
Squandered by those who failed
to see how precious it was
626
00:30:42,578 --> 00:30:46,164
and spurned by others who
thought they didn't need it and...
627
00:30:46,575 --> 00:30:47,739
now, it's all gone.
628
00:30:48,654 --> 00:30:49,357
Poof!
629
00:30:50,671 --> 00:30:51,804
Poof, indeed.
630
00:30:52,446 --> 00:30:53,946
But how could we not have noticed?
631
00:30:54,450 --> 00:30:56,645
You mortals take love for granted!
632
00:30:56,670 --> 00:30:58,721
It slipped through
your fingers so subtly
633
00:30:58,746 --> 00:31:00,739
no one even noticed it was gone.
634
00:31:00,764 --> 00:31:03,726
Except for these few, who are
still drawn to me from the...
635
00:31:03,751 --> 00:31:06,416
last breath of love
that still clings to me, but...
636
00:31:07,093 --> 00:31:08,992
soon there won't even be that.
637
00:31:09,792 --> 00:31:12,245
Aphrodite, is there nothing
that you can do?
638
00:31:12,802 --> 00:31:14,473
As a mortal?
No!
639
00:31:14,614 --> 00:31:18,036
My powers are tied to Olympus and there
is no way for me to get back there.
640
00:31:18,061 --> 00:31:19,679
Xena made sure of that!
641
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:22,963
Xena...
642
00:31:30,148 --> 00:31:32,929
- Gabrielle, where's Xena?
- What are you doing here?
643
00:31:33,207 --> 00:31:34,268
Aphrodite...
644
00:31:34,762 --> 00:31:36,200
- It's good to see you.
- Where's Xena?
645
00:31:36,225 --> 00:31:37,380
Will you get lost!
646
00:31:37,405 --> 00:31:39,225
Look... Where is she?
I've got to talk to her.
647
00:31:39,444 --> 00:31:40,585
You just missed her.
648
00:31:40,796 --> 00:31:43,046
She's gone in to face Odin... alone.
649
00:31:44,074 --> 00:31:45,152
Is she gonna kill him?
650
00:31:45,424 --> 00:31:47,901
Xena doesn't have the power
to kill gods, not anymore.
651
00:31:53,486 --> 00:31:55,056
But Odin can kill her.
652
00:32:06,008 --> 00:32:08,478
We're here,
before the walls of Valhalla.
653
00:32:09,155 --> 00:32:11,264
Xena entered just minutes ago.
654
00:32:11,929 --> 00:32:15,272
You can hear the sounds
of an epic struggle, as Xena,
655
00:32:15,273 --> 00:32:18,500
possibly the greatest human warrior
in the history of the world,
656
00:32:18,773 --> 00:32:21,843
battles with Odin,
king of the Norse gods.
657
00:32:23,285 --> 00:32:26,597
Gabrielle, I have to say I'm glad to
see you're still travelling with Xena.
658
00:32:27,057 --> 00:32:28,815
I was afraid that with me
away from Olympus,
659
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:30,596
you two might not be so close.
660
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,523
No, we're... we're partners.
661
00:32:32,548 --> 00:32:36,153
Xena is attempting to wrestle
the Golden Apples from Odin.
662
00:32:36,681 --> 00:32:38,377
But the question still remains...
663
00:32:38,540 --> 00:32:40,704
Should she succeed
in getting these apples...
664
00:32:41,046 --> 00:32:44,679
on whom will she bestow
the gift of godhood?
665
00:32:48,511 --> 00:32:49,925
Wait.
Something...
666
00:32:50,162 --> 00:32:52,842
Something appears to be
happening inside Valhalla.
667
00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:56,921
The day may be decided.
668
00:32:59,516 --> 00:33:01,133
Down there! Hurry up!
669
00:33:03,690 --> 00:33:04,500
Xena!
670
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,248
Are you all right?
671
00:33:06,569 --> 00:33:07,748
Couldn't be better!
672
00:33:08,375 --> 00:33:10,384
Incredible.
You have beaten Odin.
673
00:33:10,618 --> 00:33:12,063
Don't rub his nose in it.
674
00:33:12,272 --> 00:33:14,348
You know, you could have saved
yourself a world of trouble
675
00:33:14,349 --> 00:33:16,529
if you just had'a coughed up
the fruit in the first place.
676
00:33:16,554 --> 00:33:18,843
My pain is almost over.
Eat!
677
00:33:19,359 --> 00:33:22,078
Then you can destroy me
and your victory will be complete.
678
00:33:22,103 --> 00:33:23,212
Get a move on!
679
00:33:25,729 --> 00:33:26,955
Xena! Xena?
680
00:33:29,762 --> 00:33:30,542
Xena!
681
00:33:31,836 --> 00:33:33,695
You're not gonna eat
that apple, are you?
682
00:33:34,742 --> 00:33:35,758
Why ever not?
683
00:33:36,098 --> 00:33:39,396
Because you don't plan to install
yourself as a goddess on Olympus.
684
00:33:39,421 --> 00:33:43,084
No. No, your plan is to bring
love back into the world.
685
00:33:43,855 --> 00:33:45,832
That apple is
for Aphrodite, isn't it?
686
00:33:47,090 --> 00:33:50,020
Give this apple to Aphrodite and
bring love back into the world...
687
00:33:51,972 --> 00:33:54,902
That's a novel and
very unselfish idea.
688
00:33:55,361 --> 00:33:57,689
No, it's not something that
the Xena you know would do.
689
00:33:58,166 --> 00:33:59,385
Well, maybe before...
690
00:34:00,168 --> 00:34:02,379
I was reporting on
the wrong Xena, Xena.
691
00:34:03,404 --> 00:34:04,240
Maybe.
692
00:34:04,695 --> 00:34:06,195
And maybe not.
693
00:34:06,958 --> 00:34:07,912
Ares...
694
00:34:08,828 --> 00:34:11,994
Xena, Xena, no.
You can't send Ares back to Olympus.
695
00:34:12,019 --> 00:34:13,957
Now he's telling me what I can't do.
696
00:34:15,325 --> 00:34:16,466
I think I can.
697
00:34:23,545 --> 00:34:24,670
It's juicy.
698
00:34:25,976 --> 00:34:27,679
Oh, here it comes. Oh, yeah.
699
00:34:32,436 --> 00:34:33,577
All right!
700
00:34:34,383 --> 00:34:35,425
Yeah!
701
00:34:42,992 --> 00:34:43,836
I knew it.
702
00:34:44,203 --> 00:34:46,224
You were in this
for yourself all along!
703
00:34:46,249 --> 00:34:49,554
Of course she was, you moron!
Who wouldn't wanna be a god?
704
00:34:49,563 --> 00:34:50,469
That's right.
705
00:34:50,964 --> 00:34:52,409
Who wouldn't wanna be a god?
706
00:34:52,872 --> 00:34:55,856
Go ahead. Take a bite.
It's good.
707
00:34:57,682 --> 00:34:58,838
- Don't.
- Hey...
708
00:34:59,182 --> 00:35:00,690
There's nothing for you here.
709
00:35:01,688 --> 00:35:03,557
You know,
the weasel had a good idea.
710
00:35:03,582 --> 00:35:06,238
Become a goddess...
We could have some kicks.
711
00:35:07,561 --> 00:35:09,608
Wouldn't want you
to be alone on Olympus.
712
00:35:12,358 --> 00:35:13,397
Xena, don't.
713
00:35:22,472 --> 00:35:24,136
Aphrodite will keep you company.
714
00:35:26,678 --> 00:35:27,944
Thank you, Xena.
715
00:35:58,273 --> 00:36:00,078
It really is good to see
you again, Gabrielle.
716
00:36:00,103 --> 00:36:02,173
You've got that gleam
in your eye, Beowulf.
717
00:36:04,853 --> 00:36:07,314
Shall we leave these mortals
to their business, Ares?
718
00:36:09,550 --> 00:36:11,620
Aphrodite gave you back
the power to love.
719
00:36:12,078 --> 00:36:13,219
Think about it, Xena.
720
00:36:14,290 --> 00:36:16,517
Think of the possibilities.
721
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:23,334
Odin...
722
00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:27,164
Keep these someplace safe.
723
00:36:30,356 --> 00:36:32,254
I guess you know
I'll never stop trying.
724
00:36:34,558 --> 00:36:35,980
I'd expect nothing less.
725
00:36:37,948 --> 00:36:39,589
Come on.
Let's go home.
726
00:36:51,855 --> 00:36:52,620
Xena...
727
00:36:53,213 --> 00:36:55,627
I've been preparing
for your arrival for weeks.
728
00:36:56,544 --> 00:36:58,701
How did you breach our defenses?
729
00:36:59,066 --> 00:37:00,058
I cheated.
730
00:37:00,834 --> 00:37:01,521
What?
731
00:37:02,670 --> 00:37:04,287
I had a little help from a friend.
732
00:37:15,653 --> 00:37:16,794
Grinhilda...
733
00:37:21,464 --> 00:37:22,777
Xena saved me, you know.
734
00:37:23,004 --> 00:37:25,962
She changed me back from that
horrible creature I'd become.
735
00:37:26,515 --> 00:37:30,642
This would be the horrible creature that
she turned you into in the first place.
736
00:37:30,667 --> 00:37:32,183
That was a different Xena.
737
00:37:32,454 --> 00:37:34,001
The dark, evil Xena.
738
00:37:34,979 --> 00:37:36,355
But the real Xena...
739
00:37:36,489 --> 00:37:39,637
restored my human form,
and returned me to Valhalla.
740
00:37:40,152 --> 00:37:42,559
And she asked me to unmake
the legacy of bloodshed
741
00:37:42,584 --> 00:37:44,920
she herself had left
for Odin's people.
742
00:37:45,716 --> 00:37:49,450
When Ares was expelled from Olympus,
that must have made your job a lot easier.
743
00:37:49,817 --> 00:37:51,621
Why did Xena send him back?
744
00:37:51,992 --> 00:37:53,383
You know why?
'Cause...
745
00:37:53,407 --> 00:37:55,360
Well, you can't have
love without hate.
746
00:37:55,959 --> 00:37:57,607
You can't have peace
without violence,
747
00:37:57,631 --> 00:38:00,186
and you certainly can't have
forgiveness without anger.
748
00:38:01,104 --> 00:38:04,432
I knew I couldn't just send Aphrodite
back to Olympus without Ares.
749
00:38:05,024 --> 00:38:07,149
It would have thrown the whole
world out of balance.
750
00:38:10,192 --> 00:38:13,567
It is my people's lust for living
that makes us who we are.
751
00:38:13,952 --> 00:38:15,725
The two competing forces of their...
752
00:38:15,910 --> 00:38:18,817
fierceness and their
passion that defines us.
753
00:38:19,394 --> 00:38:20,449
Xena knew that.
754
00:38:21,106 --> 00:38:24,474
So I sent you after Aphrodite
while I rounded up Ares.
755
00:38:24,499 --> 00:38:27,055
Wait a minute.
You sent me after Aphrodite?
756
00:38:27,539 --> 00:38:28,547
"Follow the love."
757
00:38:29,716 --> 00:38:31,833
You're the mysterious
voice in the cave?
758
00:38:32,194 --> 00:38:34,475
Xena wanted you out
of her hair for a while.
759
00:38:35,116 --> 00:38:38,056
She figured she might as well put you
to work getting Aphrodite for her.
760
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:43,176
I have to go.
761
00:38:44,276 --> 00:38:45,948
Odin's still pretty sore at me.
762
00:38:55,065 --> 00:38:57,151
We're heartily sorry
for our behavior.
763
00:38:57,935 --> 00:39:01,193
It isn't in our teachings.
We wandered from the Path of Love.
764
00:39:02,290 --> 00:39:03,844
But you're back on that path now.
765
00:39:04,165 --> 00:39:04,882
Yes.
766
00:39:05,478 --> 00:39:08,048
We're here to atone for our
transgressions against you.
767
00:39:08,349 --> 00:39:10,029
No... That really isn't necessary...
768
00:39:10,411 --> 00:39:11,407
What are you doing?
What are these?
769
00:39:11,432 --> 00:39:14,885
You may flagellate us for the sins
that we committed against you.
770
00:39:14,910 --> 00:39:17,516
- No, no, no. That's all right.
- No, we insist.
771
00:39:17,683 --> 00:39:19,183
No, really, you don't have to...
772
00:39:19,425 --> 00:39:20,238
Do it!
773
00:39:23,700 --> 00:39:26,286
Do I think she did it because of
how she feels about me?
774
00:39:28,184 --> 00:39:28,855
No.
775
00:39:29,528 --> 00:39:31,848
I mean...
Don't get me wrong, I mean...
776
00:39:32,402 --> 00:39:34,441
there were sparks.
You could see that, right?
777
00:39:36,017 --> 00:39:36,876
No...
778
00:39:37,173 --> 00:39:39,767
She pretty much did it for
the same reason she always does.
779
00:39:40,528 --> 00:39:42,451
Redeeming herself
for her evil past.
780
00:39:42,476 --> 00:39:45,171
"Oh, I killed so many people!"
The pain, the pain...
781
00:39:46,668 --> 00:39:49,589
But my offer, it was genuine.
I mean, there is a place for her here.
782
00:39:51,815 --> 00:39:53,182
It's not what it used to be, though.
783
00:39:56,794 --> 00:39:59,528
Ok, chuckles, let's cut it!
Ok? Outta here!
784
00:40:03,803 --> 00:40:06,936
Do not... make me zap you!
785
00:40:07,158 --> 00:40:10,533
Gabrielle, Xena,
I have only one more question left.
786
00:40:10,846 --> 00:40:13,744
The question that Gabrielle
has been avoiding all evening.
787
00:40:13,906 --> 00:40:16,742
The question that has never,
ever been answered.
788
00:40:18,314 --> 00:40:20,244
Are you two lovers?
789
00:40:22,470 --> 00:40:24,111
- You're asking...
- That's right.
790
00:40:24,539 --> 00:40:28,141
I'm asking...
are you two lovers?
791
00:40:28,519 --> 00:40:31,707
- That's none 'a your beeswax, Nigel!
- Ok, Xena, you know...
792
00:40:31,732 --> 00:40:34,529
You just risked everything to bring
love back into the world.
793
00:40:36,919 --> 00:40:37,794
So what?
794
00:40:37,924 --> 00:40:39,908
I think you should
answer the question.
795
00:40:40,786 --> 00:40:42,732
- Oh, you do, do ya?
- Yeah.
796
00:40:44,343 --> 00:40:45,648
Wait, hold on. Hold on.
797
00:40:48,134 --> 00:40:51,171
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
a world exclusive.
798
00:40:51,203 --> 00:40:52,766
For the first time anywhere...
799
00:40:53,093 --> 00:40:57,531
Xena e Gabrielle reveal the true
nature of their relationship.
800
00:40:58,815 --> 00:40:59,706
Gabrielle...
801
00:41:00,002 --> 00:41:00,932
Xena...
802
00:41:01,916 --> 00:41:04,127
Are you two lovers?
803
00:41:05,648 --> 00:41:07,070
- You want the truth?
- That's right, Xena.
804
00:41:07,095 --> 00:41:10,040
We want the truth.
The whole world wants the truth!
805
00:41:13,082 --> 00:41:15,433
It's like this...
Technically...
806
00:41:16,705 --> 00:41:18,236
What? What?
807
00:41:19,244 --> 00:41:20,880
It's dead? The battery?!
808
00:41:21,599 --> 00:41:24,357
This is the world's greatest story and
you're telling me the battery is dead?
809
00:41:24,382 --> 00:41:26,272
I don't believe this!
Oh, man!
61576
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