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1
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,627
- Evan.
- Hey.
2
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:23,382
You were out for a while. Are you hungry
3
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,927
or thirsty or anything?
4
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,387
I love you.
5
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,722
I love you, too, Mom.
6
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:36,896
How was work?
7
00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,858
- It was all right.
- Oh.
8
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:43,736
Are you happy?
9
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,406
Yes.
10
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:52,495
Do you want to hear a joke?
11
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:53,913
Sure.
12
00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:57,333
This shopkeeper
13
00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:01,254
receives flowers
at the opening of his new store...
14
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:06,008
and the card says, "Rest in peace."
15
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,677
Are you sure you're not thirsty, Ma?
16
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:12,306
So he calls up the florist
angry and she says,
17
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:16,853
"Sir, at least you weren't the one
18
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:20,439
who got flowers at your wife's funeral
19
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:24,777
that said, "Congratulations
on the new location."
20
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,202
You need more morphine?
21
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:42,795
Ma.
22
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:49,302
Do you want me to call a priest?
23
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:07,111
I want you to know I...
24
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,655
think you two were amazing.
25
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:15,620
And I'm grateful for everything you...
26
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,695
Why don't you guys bury
these in your stomachs, huh?
27
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,573
That sucked, I'm sorry.
Look, I'm gonna...
28
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,033
I'm gonna have Shitty Carl
try to cover your shift.
29
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:55,409
I'm gonna call Carl.
30
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:58,253
- I'm sorry about your mom.
- Thanks, Mike.
31
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:05,336
You know, Ev,
that was a real small funeral.
32
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:07,964
I mean, you know, it was intimate.
33
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,800
That's what I meant, it was good.
It was a good funeral.
34
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,344
Yeah, they really never had
any friends or family
35
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,429
or anything, so...
36
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:16,764
Nobody else?
37
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,394
They were only children.
38
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,813
I mean, their parents died young.
It was just the three of us.
39
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,315
You know, I'm really sorry about
the casket thing, too.
40
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:29,402
I mean, I think I saw I had some...
some fish oil on my hands
41
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:32,613
- and it... the brass was slick.
- Funerals are for the living, Tom.
42
00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:35,933
Why the fuck does this fucking
goddamn machine not work?!
43
00:04:36,033 --> 00:04:37,868
- Fuck!
- The cigarette machine is for decoration.
44
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,829
- There's no cigarettes there.
- Give me some of that drink!
45
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,539
Do you want a shot? Let's have a shot.
46
00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:44,625
- I got to work later.
- No, shots. Mike, shots, please.
47
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,377
Whiskey, whiskey.
48
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,545
I gotta take a piss.
49
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:49,755
...some fruity faggot juice
just like you, you fuckin'...
50
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,799
Watch where the fuck you're going, man.
51
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,259
- I'm sorry.
- Bite me, bitch.
52
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:56,679
Yeah, you're fucked up, huh?
You tryin' to roll on my bitch?!
53
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,139
- No.
- I fuckin' saw you, man.
54
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,641
- I wasn't.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
55
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,893
Guy had a fuckin' rough day, all right?
56
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,979
Why don't you just shut
your fuckin' cock holster,
57
00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:08,315
have a drink with me?
Calm down, Jesus Christ.
58
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,989
Got a cigarette?
59
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:19,076
No, I roll my own. Sorry.
60
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,787
Hey, I got a fuckin' cigarette.
You want a cigarette? Here.
61
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,130
- Hey, hey, what the fuck?!
- Fuck!
62
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,632
Hey! Hey!
63
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,969
Babe, get up! Get up!
Kick his fuckin' ass!
64
00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:44,018
- Get him off him!
- Fuck!
65
00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:46,020
- Evan, Evan, Evan!
- Fuck, that's enough, man.
66
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,773
- All right. I'm all right!
- Babe, babe, babe.
67
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,861
Fuckin'... Evan, Jesus Christ, brother.
68
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:57,198
I mean, you knocked that stupid fuckin'
gold thing right out of his face.
69
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,869
Are you guys fuckin' serious?
70
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:07,583
Ev, I just picked up, like, fuckin' four
teeth off the goddamn ground, man.
71
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,878
Holy shit.
72
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,839
I mean, holy fucking shit.
73
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:17,927
Here, put this on your shit.
74
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,304
The cops were here, guys.
75
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:21,514
Is he pressing charges?
76
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,891
The psychopath? I don't know!
77
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,060
Maybe! You almost fuckin'
murdered the guy!
78
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,896
Will you... you're getting blood
all over your ice.
79
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,856
Will you put the gauze
on your goddamn knuckles
80
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,149
and then fuckin' put ice on it?
81
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,485
Tommy, seriously, cock holster mouth?
82
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,028
- Hey, what...
- Why would you say that?
83
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:38,614
- 'Cause he had a fuckin' cockmouth.
- For fuck's sake!
84
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:45,287
Look, man, you nee... you need
to change up your environment.
85
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,958
You have a lot of shit going on,
your whole family's dead,
86
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,961
and I think the best thing for you
would be to just shift gears
87
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,796
and do something completely
different with yourself.
88
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,297
Are you telling me that I'm fired, Mike?
89
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,799
He's not saying that.
Mike, you wouldn't...
90
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,634
I'm not saying you're fired.
I'm not saying you're fired.
91
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,219
No, Mike, you're not saying that.
92
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,762
But the boss was here
93
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,807
and he said you can't work here
anymore, man. I'm sorry.
94
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,767
I really don't want to be
unemployed right now, Mike.
95
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:09,019
Look, I can bring you back.
I swear to God I can bring you back.
96
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,521
I brought Shitty Carl back.
97
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,356
He stabbed a goddamn
crippled guy in the leg with a fork.
98
00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:15,860
Right, Shitty Carl! He's a fuckin' shit.
He's a piece of shit!
99
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:18,362
- I just need some time.
- Ah, fuck!
100
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,905
I just need some fuckin' time, man.
101
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,324
You know how it is, man.
I mean, the fucking Yelp reviews.
102
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,744
- We're getting fucked here. I can't...
- What are you gonna do, brother?
103
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,246
- Where did you get this?
- Evan, wait...
104
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,331
All right, I don't need you
to fuckin' follow me home, Tom.
105
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,292
Just hold up, man.
106
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:32,835
Ev!
107
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:38,549
Fuck.
108
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,302
Dude, do you need any help
down at the boats?
109
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,262
Can I have one of those?
110
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,930
Yeah.
111
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:48,392
I'll ask around.
112
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,937
You should talk to Dale
about construction gigs.
113
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,439
Dale?
114
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:56,567
He's been unemployed since June, man.
115
00:07:57,262 --> 00:07:58,777
Give me that lighter.
116
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,240
You want to gut fish for tourists?
117
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:06,785
I mean, I smelled like a tuna fish's
asshole for four years,
118
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,530
but it's good work.
119
00:08:08,630 --> 00:08:09,663
Smell that.
120
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,332
- I don't... I don't know.
- Just smell it.
121
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,459
- I don't know.
- It's like it's on me forever.
122
00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:16,170
I got some inheritance.
I can just use that.
123
00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:19,632
Yo, where my fuckin'
cigarette at, bitch?
124
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,550
It's gonna get real fuckin' boring
125
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,636
- following me around all night.
- I know where you live now, bitch.
126
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,930
Why don't you just go back to fuckin'
East County you fuckin' tweakers?
127
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,307
- Fuck you, you motherfuckers.
- Fuck you!
128
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:34,313
Thanks for staying, man.
129
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:37,775
Yeah, they'll file a police report,
they'll sue me,
130
00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:40,486
then they'll come back here
with baseball bats.
131
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,529
You want me to stay? Got an extra bed?
132
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,158
My mom's.
133
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,204
Fuck. I mean, Ev, I love you, brother,
134
00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:53,749
but I'm not drunk enough to sleep
in your mom's deathbed.
135
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,125
Yeah.
136
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:58,003
Why don't you just lock the doors?
I'll call you tomorrow.
137
00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,463
- Are you gonna be all right?
- Mm-hmm.
138
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,131
- You gonna be all right?
- Yup.
139
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:04,259
Yeah, you gonna be all right.
I'll see you tomorrow.
140
00:09:05,232 --> 00:09:07,680
Fuck! These fuckin' things.
141
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,015
- Am I supposed to fuckin' jump it?
- Are you fuckin' retarded?
142
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,684
There's a hinge, man.
143
00:09:12,683 --> 00:09:14,485
Fuck you, man.
144
00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:18,440
Hey, uh... why don't you...
145
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,026
why don't you call up somebody
for a sympathy fuck?
146
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,237
No, I'm good, dude.
147
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,030
All right.
148
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,491
I'm telling you, Evan,
your mom just died.
149
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,702
You're only gonna get
to use that one once.
150
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,704
I love you, brother!
151
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,914
- Love you, dude.
- I love you.
152
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,436
Mm, condom?
153
00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:58,897
Okay.
154
00:10:12,396 --> 00:10:14,496
Handsome picture.
155
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,958
I look like a hobo with smallpox.
156
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,085
You know I'm only here
because I feel sorry for you,
157
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,963
but this is a very nice picture,
Evan Russell.
158
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,841
Thank you.
159
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,427
- You're sitting on the condom.
- Mm, why do you have this?
160
00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:31,472
Are you fucking whores in TJ?
161
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:38,520
What? How did you even get to that?
162
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,273
My dad, he made me get one
'cause we were gonna go to Italy
163
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:44,360
after I got back from college,
but you know what happened.
164
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,279
How do you feel about me?
165
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:57,539
I just got sober all of a sudden.
I can't do this, I'm sorry.
166
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,797
Get out of town, Evan.
167
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:06,465
Right now?
168
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,468
Yeah. My brother's a fuckup, too,
and he took a break
169
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,970
and he went to India,
and he totally re-centered.
170
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,973
I just worked my way up
to sous chef, though.
171
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,643
You didn't go to Berkeley
to chop vegetables.
172
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:20,521
You sound like an elitist asshole.
173
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:23,816
Mm, I'm just not sober
enough for this conversation.
174
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,642
Then let's have sex.
175
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,719
Mr. Russell?
176
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,311
Dispatch, I've got no one at the house.
177
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,859
Fuck.
178
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,951
Hi, can I get a flight somewhere?
179
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,744
Anywhere.
180
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:20,030
I'm sorry, I'm really hungover.
181
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,667
Where would you go?
I don't know, like, uh...
182
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:26,420
Canada or Europe or something?
183
00:12:27,444 --> 00:12:29,339
White people love Italy?
184
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,049
Gotcha.
185
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,719
Book me on the next flight.
Or, when is the next flight?
186
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,929
Actually, hold on a second.
Should I go to Italy?
187
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,848
What?
188
00:12:43,038 --> 00:12:45,063
What, a wizard?
189
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,256
You're a wizard, Harry.
190
00:12:47,356 --> 00:12:49,506
You're a wizard.
191
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,664
So I says to Mabel,
I says, you can't fucking put
192
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,165
the guy on the fence like that
193
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:48,126
'cause it's fucking getting
in the way of my apple trees.
194
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,587
- Excuse me.
- Sorry, mate. Yes, bruv, what?
195
00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:52,965
Do you guys know where I can
find an Italian phrase book?
196
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,592
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a bundle
of them down there, actually, pal.
197
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,094
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
198
00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:58,845
- Where are you from?
- California.
199
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,472
Oh, California. What, Hollywood!
200
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,142
- Join us for a drink, pal.
- Yeah, come on, man.
201
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,310
Come on. Sit down. Have a drink with us.
202
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,604
Go off and get him a drink, go on.
203
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:10,065
I'm Tom. That's me pal, Sam.
204
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:13,193
Sam's Welsh and he fucks sheep,
but don't worry, he's all right.
205
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,653
You know, he won't come near your bum.
206
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,154
- I'm not Welsh.
- Listen, mate,
207
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,990
- you are gonna fucking love it here.
- Thanks.
208
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:21,493
All you do is eat,
fucking drink, smoke weed.
209
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,204
I lay off the scag personally, don't I?
But it's your holiday, mate.
210
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:27,125
You do what you fucking like.
211
00:14:27,225 --> 00:14:29,459
Let's see if the Yank
can fucking keep up, eh?
212
00:14:29,977 --> 00:14:31,533
Boo!
213
00:14:31,633 --> 00:14:32,671
Look at that.
214
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,008
Well done, bruv.
215
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:40,262
Oh, my God, I wish I could
fucking talk Italian, you know?
216
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:42,848
Bunch of sixes, bruv.
217
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:46,018
- Sixes?
- Ciao. Ciao.
218
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:49,481
Oh, he's a goddamn American hero.
219
00:14:49,581 --> 00:14:51,523
Oi, oi.
220
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,191
You like me? No?
221
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,361
No. Absolutely.
222
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:59,948
Go on. Go on. Oh, my God.
223
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,284
No, what are you doing, mate?
No, fucking hell, mate.
224
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,619
No, you got to be more aggressive
225
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,580
if you want to shag
an Italian bird like that, mate.
226
00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:09,499
What are you talking about?
What are you telling him for?
227
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,752
At least he went up there,
but you didn't do nothing.
228
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,629
You just don't give a little fucking...
229
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,548
- What?
- Fucking hell.
230
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,258
Thank you for the beer, man.
231
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,677
Ah, you're welcome. Oh...
232
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,638
Where are you at?
We're gonna hire a car tomorrow,
233
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,348
go down the coast.
234
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,558
Do you want to chip in with some petrol?
235
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:32,230
Go on and get...
get a hold of that. Go on.
236
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,066
- Come on, Evan!
- Get it fuckin' in ya!
237
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,318
I said, "Fuck you, you cunt."
Do you remember that?
238
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:40,279
I was like, "Fuck you, you cunt."
Proper cunt.
239
00:15:40,379 --> 00:15:41,865
I'm like, "Fuck you, you mug."
240
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:43,533
Next thing you know,
I got punched in the face, mate.
241
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,662
Woke up three days later in hospital
the cunt had fuckin' done me.
242
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,413
He didn't help. He didn't help.
243
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,457
He didn't help.
244
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:52,334
You ever seen "8 Mile"?
You seen that movie "8 Mile"?
245
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,961
- Yeah.
- Right? It's like that.
246
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,254
So, geezers just rapping.
247
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:59,800
And then, I swear to God, one geezer
goes... goes up on the mic, right?
248
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,968
And he goes,
"Who can fucking battle me, blud?"
249
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,096
All this fucking bollocks.
"Who gonna battle me?"
250
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,181
I said, "Do you know what,
fuck this cunt. I'll fuckin' have a go."
251
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:09,226
Never rapped in me life, bruv.
Never fucking rapped in my life.
252
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:12,396
Went up there, mate.
Proper smashed him, mate,
253
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,815
with a bottle in the face.
254
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:02,738
Birds, eh?
255
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,448
Fuckin' birds.
256
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:10,120
I was, uh...
I was seeing this girl once.
257
00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:12,497
She's the love of my fucking
life, pal, you know?
258
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:16,334
Known her since school,
first kiss, all that fucking shit. Yeah.
259
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,670
Talked about having kids together,
the whole lot.
260
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,593
And one day,
261
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:27,846
she's in this pub
262
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:31,725
and she meets this bloke
from Ibiza, DJ, something.
263
00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:33,435
Got a flat out there.
264
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:36,980
She only fucking leaves me
265
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,065
and goes and lives
with this cunt in Ibiza.
266
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:42,152
Broke my fucking heart, mate.
267
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:45,864
Anyway, two years later,
I'm in me local supermarket
268
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:48,492
and I fucking see her there.
269
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,660
She was proper fat.
270
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:54,039
Sunburnt, skin like leather...
271
00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:58,794
teeth like fucking doggins,
it was disgusting. I loved it.
272
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,133
You're lucky I'm here, pal.
273
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:09,054
'Cause most men don't share
their emotions like I do.
274
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,689
- Hey, mate, you got a Wi-Fi code?
- No, I ain't got a Wi-Fi code.
275
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,399
You do have the Wi-Fi code, mate.
Can I just...
276
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,734
I gave it to you last night, man.
277
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,986
What did you do with
that little piece of paper?
278
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:49,738
You fucking rolled, didn't you?
279
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,406
You used it as a roach.
280
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,284
Oh, for fuck's sake!
281
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:57,162
Oh, bro, I fucking blazed
the fucking Wi-Fi code, mate.
282
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:05,962
...because I hate all nations equally.
And I'll tell you something else,
283
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,965
- the problem with Yanks, right?
- Yeah, everyone hates Americans.
284
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:10,425
I get it. I'm an evil imperialist.
285
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,260
You don't play rugby,
that's the problem.
286
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:15,680
Well, yeah, there's that, but it's
also 'cause you're fucking loud.
287
00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:18,308
- You're loud. I played soccer.
- Whole nation is loud.
288
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:22,112
I played soccer in elementary school
and I drink... I drink well.
289
00:20:22,230 --> 00:20:23,563
No, you can't.
290
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:26,691
You have... I've barely seen you
drink five of those.
291
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:29,444
- That's not enough for you?
- No, I'm afraid not.
292
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:32,030
Fucking embarrassing
is what you are, mate.
293
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,157
- All right.
- Oh, look at this.
294
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:37,452
- All right, I'll get the next round.
- Yeah, go on, mate. Nice one.
295
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,787
Thanks, Evan.
296
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:49,047
We saw each other earlier
and if I stared any longer
297
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:53,259
without saying hi,
I'd be the creepy dude gawking.
298
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:58,974
Oh, shit. English?
299
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,309
I need a drink.
300
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,061
Well, come sit with me and my friends.
301
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,437
Leave with me.
302
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,775
Yeah.
303
00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:14,239
I have to get this round first and...
304
00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:18,576
I'd rather go home with you now,
but if you like boys more...
305
00:21:22,062 --> 00:21:23,081
Really?
306
00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:25,125
Come on.
307
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:28,378
- What are you doing?
- Trying to have fun.
308
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:31,089
Are you a prostitute?
309
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:33,842
You want me to be?
310
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,720
Are you gonna rob me?
311
00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:38,304
No, you look poor.
312
00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:41,558
Well, I'm not gonna carry drugs
up my ass for you or your boss.
313
00:21:43,177 --> 00:21:45,437
- Go out with me tomorrow night.
- No.
314
00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:48,273
- 'Cause you're a hooker.
- Because I don't date.
315
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,736
Well, this is a fucked-up act you have,
316
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:56,489
but let's say you go home with...
317
00:21:56,607 --> 00:21:58,742
I'd still like to grab coffee
or something sometime
318
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:02,328
'cause I think you're the most
attractive person I've ever seen.
319
00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:04,998
But that doesn't outweigh
that you might be a mental patient
320
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:07,917
and I gotta make sure you're
the kind of crazy I can deal with.
321
00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:12,797
You made this so much more
complicated than it needs to be.
322
00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:14,674
Bottle of wine tomorrow night.
323
00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:17,302
No... no!
324
00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:18,845
Maybe?
325
00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:21,806
Right.
326
00:22:25,034 --> 00:22:26,895
Oh, no.
327
00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:29,647
Oh, no. You fumbled.
328
00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:31,149
But if you're looking
for someone to play
329
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:33,109
the fucking long game with
come over here, bruv.
330
00:22:33,227 --> 00:22:36,416
Sam will help you out.
Sam will let you fuck him.
331
00:22:36,516 --> 00:22:37,572
I hate these guys.
332
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:50,919
- Oi!
- Hey!
333
00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:56,091
You went pint for pint last night, son.
334
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,926
- I'm fucking proud of you.
- Well done, son, well done.
335
00:22:58,044 --> 00:22:59,719
- I did?
- Nope.
336
00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:01,679
Oi, we're leaving, mate.
337
00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:03,723
- Okay.
- Yeah, it's too expensive.
338
00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:05,850
We're going to Amsterdam.
339
00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:07,477
- All right.
- You want to come?
340
00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,438
No.
341
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:13,274
All right. Good times, mate.
Good times. Good times.
342
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,110
Yeah, take care of yourself, son.
343
00:23:17,146 --> 00:23:18,530
Okay.
344
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,249
Scusa.
345
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:17,255
Scusa?
346
00:24:17,373 --> 00:24:19,716
Um, buongiorno.
347
00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:23,887
Buongiorno.
348
00:24:25,172 --> 00:24:28,224
Um, English?
349
00:24:28,342 --> 00:24:29,475
A little.
350
00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:31,936
Is this room still available?
351
00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:37,483
- Have you ever work on farm?
- No.
352
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,613
- Okay.
- Okay?
353
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:46,659
Come on.
354
00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:56,294
You see?
355
00:24:56,412 --> 00:24:59,505
Hot and cold.
356
00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:01,132
Got it, thanks.
357
00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:02,849
If not hot...
358
00:25:12,094 --> 00:25:16,147
When cold, we cover up the trees
359
00:25:16,265 --> 00:25:20,693
and once a week we gather
for the olive press.
360
00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:22,528
The rest, I tell you.
361
00:25:22,646 --> 00:25:24,739
Easy, huh?
362
00:25:28,319 --> 00:25:30,453
Is that your wife?
363
00:25:32,281 --> 00:25:33,331
Yes.
364
00:25:33,449 --> 00:25:35,583
Is she here?
365
00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:38,127
Car accident.
366
00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:43,216
I'm very sorry to hear that.
367
00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:57,563
women, Jews of the world.
368
00:25:57,681 --> 00:26:00,108
- Jews?
- Jews.
369
00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,405
Jews.
370
00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:06,864
Jewels.
371
00:26:07,682 --> 00:26:08,883
Jewels.
372
00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:48,614
Buongiorno.
373
00:26:48,732 --> 00:26:50,366
Hey.
374
00:26:50,484 --> 00:26:52,577
Hey, I just moved here,
so I was wondering
375
00:26:52,695 --> 00:26:54,746
if that date might fall into place.
376
00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:56,998
- Do you remember my name?
- You never told me.
377
00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:58,916
- Scusa.
- You're learning.
378
00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:06,132
And you're not afraid to embarrass
yourself, that's good.
379
00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:07,759
I'm Evan.
380
00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:11,179
Louise. Did you just...
did you just touch my boob?
381
00:27:11,297 --> 00:27:13,431
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
382
00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:16,225
- Wow.
- All right, one last time
383
00:27:16,343 --> 00:27:18,478
and I'll let you go.
Will you go out with me?
384
00:27:18,595 --> 00:27:20,229
I don't know.
385
00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:26,402
That's a huge cock.
386
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,821
It's fertility imagery.
387
00:27:28,939 --> 00:27:32,784
No, that's... that's Roman porn.
388
00:27:32,901 --> 00:27:34,494
Are you an artist?
389
00:27:34,611 --> 00:27:35,828
No, are you?
390
00:27:35,946 --> 00:27:37,914
No, I was a cook,
391
00:27:38,032 --> 00:27:39,707
now I'm a farmer.
392
00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:41,793
A farmer.
393
00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:43,252
I just started.
394
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:45,588
That was fast.
395
00:27:45,706 --> 00:27:47,876
Are you impressed?
396
00:27:47,976 --> 00:27:50,510
No. Don't... don't touch that.
397
00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:54,639
It's hard to make a living
in a tourist town.
398
00:27:54,757 --> 00:27:55,973
How do you do it?
399
00:27:56,091 --> 00:27:58,476
I don't. I'm a student.
400
00:27:58,594 --> 00:28:00,395
And how did you end up here?
401
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:02,480
I'm studying evolutionary genetics.
402
00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:05,817
It's easier to isolate genes
in a homogeneous population.
403
00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:12,198
Um, I'm researching stuff here
404
00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:14,951
'cause not many people
have left or emigrated.
405
00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:16,369
I'm fucking up your job.
406
00:28:16,487 --> 00:28:19,914
Yes, you are. So go back
to America, fascist.
407
00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:21,165
Great scam you pulled
408
00:28:21,283 --> 00:28:23,418
having the university pay for you
to live here, though.
409
00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:26,295
I know, right?
410
00:28:26,413 --> 00:28:29,882
What do you think of her?
411
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,844
She's hot.
412
00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:35,388
You think so?
413
00:28:35,506 --> 00:28:37,557
I need caffeine.
414
00:28:49,978 --> 00:28:51,696
What... what happened to your hand?
415
00:28:51,814 --> 00:28:55,825
Um, I punched a guy.
416
00:28:55,943 --> 00:28:58,286
Did it hurt?
417
00:28:58,404 --> 00:29:00,204
No.
418
00:29:00,322 --> 00:29:01,747
Yes.
419
00:29:01,865 --> 00:29:04,876
Did you... did you feel better?
420
00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:07,837
I know, I'm a child, I'm immature...
421
00:29:07,955 --> 00:29:10,548
I was just going to say we're all human.
422
00:29:15,170 --> 00:29:19,223
My family would vacation here
when I was little
423
00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:22,727
and I would see
these old men sitting here.
424
00:29:22,845 --> 00:29:26,272
Sometimes I wonder
if it's the same ones.
425
00:29:26,390 --> 00:29:28,441
You don't sound Italian.
426
00:29:29,810 --> 00:29:34,113
- Are you really from around here?
- Not far. I traveled a lot, though.
427
00:29:34,231 --> 00:29:36,449
So I sound weird as fuck.
428
00:29:36,567 --> 00:29:38,242
Did you learn your English in England?
429
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,120
I did. But then I studied
in America for a while.
430
00:29:41,238 --> 00:29:42,663
- Where?
- New York.
431
00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:44,415
- I've never been there.
- You've never been to New York?
432
00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:45,583
- Are you kidding me?
- Nope.
433
00:29:45,701 --> 00:29:47,335
I thought all Americans
have been to New York.
434
00:29:47,453 --> 00:29:49,003
- I've been to Southern California,
- Right.
435
00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:52,757
- Mexico, and here.
- Oh, Mexico. I love Mexico.
436
00:29:52,875 --> 00:29:54,926
I went there with my ex on a boat.
437
00:29:55,043 --> 00:29:56,511
What happened?
438
00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:58,471
We had so much Mexican food.
439
00:29:58,589 --> 00:30:01,182
- No, no, with the guy.
- Oh. Oh, he was awful.
440
00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:03,434
Oh, he was... he always
had to conquer something.
441
00:30:03,552 --> 00:30:05,670
Why did you date him, then?
442
00:30:05,770 --> 00:30:08,439
He wrote me very romantic love letters
443
00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:11,943
and he was so much fun
to drink wine with.
444
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:14,070
Let's get a bottle of wine.
445
00:30:16,106 --> 00:30:18,866
Okay, but you have to
write me a letter first.
446
00:30:18,984 --> 00:30:22,787
You can write it while I finish
my espresso.
447
00:31:06,615 --> 00:31:09,125
I'm still jet-lagged.
448
00:31:09,243 --> 00:31:12,878
Flipping my days for nights is making
everything feel like I'm in a dream.
449
00:31:12,996 --> 00:31:14,338
Thanks for the wine.
450
00:31:14,456 --> 00:31:16,841
It's most of my paycheck
that I haven't gotten yet,
451
00:31:16,959 --> 00:31:18,092
but you're worth it.
452
00:31:18,210 --> 00:31:20,511
You shouldn't pay for things.
453
00:31:20,629 --> 00:31:25,433
What if I told you I'm actually
a successful businessman
454
00:31:25,551 --> 00:31:28,185
taking a break from all my wealth?
455
00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:29,854
Are you?
456
00:31:29,972 --> 00:31:31,564
I'm not.
457
00:31:31,682 --> 00:31:34,567
When I would sit at the bar
at the restaurant I worked at,
458
00:31:34,685 --> 00:31:37,778
for every one woman I'd catch
combing the place
459
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,697
for a doctor or lawyer,
460
00:31:39,815 --> 00:31:43,242
I'd see like 10 of them
with some bum like me.
461
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,828
Did you like being a cook?
462
00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:47,997
No.
463
00:31:48,115 --> 00:31:51,208
- It was fucking horrible.
- It can always be worse.
464
00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:53,544
And here you are, trying new stuff.
465
00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:56,547
I mean, I could do something
really important, still.
466
00:31:56,665 --> 00:32:00,009
- Like invent an app or something.
- Or get your own reality show.
467
00:32:00,127 --> 00:32:02,386
- The dream. The dream.
- Oh.
468
00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:06,432
At least you're living.
469
00:32:06,550 --> 00:32:09,477
Yeah, I always used to say that, too.
470
00:32:09,595 --> 00:32:11,395
Right now if I really had
the choice, though,
471
00:32:11,513 --> 00:32:14,065
I might take
professional success over living.
472
00:32:14,182 --> 00:32:15,399
I've worked many jobs
473
00:32:15,517 --> 00:32:18,819
and none of them... none...
have been worth missing life.
474
00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:23,449
That's very European and all,
but you know...
475
00:32:23,567 --> 00:32:26,911
Know what?
476
00:32:27,029 --> 00:32:30,081
Taking siestas and being
less competitive, that's really nice,
477
00:32:30,198 --> 00:32:32,041
but your iPhone
was not invented in Europe.
478
00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:34,251
Yeah, right. You want to go somewhere?
479
00:32:34,369 --> 00:32:36,420
- Yeah.
- Okay, let's do it.
480
00:32:45,881 --> 00:32:47,014
Fuck it.
481
00:32:52,679 --> 00:32:54,906
We're going into that cave!
482
00:32:55,006 --> 00:32:56,190
- Yeah!
- No.
483
00:32:56,308 --> 00:32:58,901
I bet it's haunted by dead sailors.
484
00:32:59,019 --> 00:33:02,321
- I thought you were a scientist.
- I am a scientist.
485
00:33:02,439 --> 00:33:05,991
What is this "dead sailor"
bullshit ghost story?
486
00:33:06,109 --> 00:33:08,577
I bet you also think names
determine personality, right?
487
00:33:08,695 --> 00:33:11,122
- Oh, they do. All Crystals are sluts.
- Oh.
488
00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:12,251
Yeah!
489
00:33:15,077 --> 00:33:18,838
And... and Evans are nice.
490
00:33:18,955 --> 00:33:20,506
You do like me, then.
491
00:33:20,624 --> 00:33:21,966
Maybe.
492
00:33:22,084 --> 00:33:23,384
I know names don't determine shit.
493
00:33:23,502 --> 00:33:25,219
But there are still lots
of mysteries out there.
494
00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:27,596
Even I'm a mystery to myself.
495
00:33:27,714 --> 00:33:30,099
I wish I could say I wasn't just
a simpleminded dude.
496
00:33:30,217 --> 00:33:32,309
I understand about half of myself.
497
00:33:32,427 --> 00:33:33,978
- Then you're half magic.
- Mmm.
498
00:33:34,096 --> 00:33:35,896
I'm half undiscovered science,
499
00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:39,233
bunch of confusing biochemistry,
500
00:33:39,351 --> 00:33:42,403
and some crazy hormones.
501
00:33:45,607 --> 00:33:47,783
She drowned a few months ago.
502
00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:50,953
That's horrible.
503
00:33:51,071 --> 00:33:53,289
Yeah, the dams up the mountain broke.
504
00:33:53,407 --> 00:33:55,958
Her body was taken
out to the sea by the flude.
505
00:33:56,076 --> 00:33:58,669
Flood?
506
00:33:58,787 --> 00:34:01,213
And they found her dead body in Sicily.
507
00:34:02,874 --> 00:34:05,634
You know, I know it's cliché,
but all the people
508
00:34:05,752 --> 00:34:09,305
that put that religious stuff up?
I mean, why do they think
509
00:34:09,423 --> 00:34:11,474
God would do that
to a little girl like her?
510
00:34:18,098 --> 00:34:21,484
I don't know.
Maybe 'cause everybody's gonna die
511
00:34:21,601 --> 00:34:23,652
whether they believe
in God or not, right?
512
00:34:27,441 --> 00:34:32,036
I have this buddy... um, great guy,
always wasted, though.
513
00:34:32,154 --> 00:34:33,829
Not really perceptive.
514
00:34:33,947 --> 00:34:36,582
He goes to a party with his girlfriend,
515
00:34:36,700 --> 00:34:38,584
and this other girl,
516
00:34:38,702 --> 00:34:42,463
maybe about four feet tall,
walks up to him...
517
00:34:42,581 --> 00:34:46,300
punches him in the face. Knocks him out.
518
00:34:46,418 --> 00:34:50,054
Turns out this girl was cheating
on him with his girlfriend.
519
00:34:50,172 --> 00:34:54,266
So now everybody knows Tommy was
knocked out by a lesbian named Tiny.
520
00:34:56,219 --> 00:35:01,232
Mm, I love Tiny, but what is your point?
521
00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:05,069
Nothing. It's just a funny story.
522
00:35:48,563 --> 00:35:50,406
No.
523
00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:41,165
In winter, you put dirt here.
524
00:36:41,283 --> 00:36:44,752
In spring, we just take off.
525
00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:46,003
Done.
526
00:36:57,424 --> 00:36:59,475
Perfect.
527
00:36:59,593 --> 00:37:01,532
This is...
528
00:37:06,850 --> 00:37:08,192
Got it.
529
00:37:12,355 --> 00:37:15,199
Bene. Perfect.
530
00:37:15,317 --> 00:37:17,034
You take out this...
531
00:37:18,987 --> 00:37:20,955
- All of them?
- Si.
532
00:37:52,354 --> 00:37:54,238
What's that, kitty?
533
00:37:54,356 --> 00:37:57,199
What's that? What's that?
534
00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:16,153
This...
535
00:39:19,107 --> 00:39:22,326
Fuck, this town is small, huh?
536
00:39:24,237 --> 00:39:25,287
Hi.
537
00:39:25,405 --> 00:39:26,872
Hey.
538
00:39:26,990 --> 00:39:29,666
You, uh... snuck out last night.
539
00:39:31,119 --> 00:39:33,670
- I did?
- Yeah.
540
00:39:36,458 --> 00:39:39,093
Mm. And who are you?
541
00:39:40,628 --> 00:39:43,097
Uh, Evan, the guy you
slept with last night.
542
00:39:45,467 --> 00:39:47,351
Sorry, I don't recall.
543
00:39:56,997 --> 00:40:00,197
- Evan.
- Oh, that's fucked up.
544
00:40:00,315 --> 00:40:02,699
- Don't be so emotional.
- That's messed up.
545
00:40:02,817 --> 00:40:05,360
This is the best place,
you should try it.
546
00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:17,297
Man, you eat a lot.
547
00:40:17,415 --> 00:40:20,050
I don't care if you call me fat.
548
00:40:20,168 --> 00:40:22,302
I was starting to think you were
cooler than pulling this one.
549
00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:24,138
I'm just saying I don't care.
550
00:40:24,255 --> 00:40:27,724
If this was the 1700s,
you would think I'm too skinny.
551
00:40:27,842 --> 00:40:29,601
You may not believe this,
but most men are not attracted
552
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:31,353
to women who look like preteen boys.
553
00:40:31,471 --> 00:40:32,896
Mm, some are.
554
00:40:33,014 --> 00:40:36,191
That's true, but most men
just want a girl who's healthy.
555
00:40:36,309 --> 00:40:39,153
Obesity and anorexia,
they're equally unattractive.
556
00:40:39,270 --> 00:40:41,488
I think your opinion of men is too high.
557
00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:43,949
No, I know dudes.
All we ever think about is sex,
558
00:40:44,067 --> 00:40:45,492
sometimes food, sad truth.
559
00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:48,162
You shouldn't say that out loud.
560
00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:50,205
Hey, do you mind if we go in here?
561
00:40:51,123 --> 00:40:52,166
Sure.
562
00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:55,210
- Do you smoke?
- Sometimes.
563
00:40:55,328 --> 00:40:57,588
I smoke more than sometimes.
564
00:40:57,705 --> 00:40:59,548
Then don't.
565
00:40:59,666 --> 00:41:01,258
I don't want to live forever.
566
00:41:01,376 --> 00:41:02,801
How about this, you go out
with me tomorrow night,
567
00:41:02,919 --> 00:41:04,803
I won't buy any cigarettes.
568
00:41:04,921 --> 00:41:06,054
What?
569
00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:08,724
Will you go out with me
if I quit smoking?
570
00:41:08,842 --> 00:41:10,934
Don't quit for me.
571
00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:14,938
You don't want to go out with me again?
572
00:41:15,056 --> 00:41:16,732
I don't know.
573
00:41:19,519 --> 00:41:21,820
One, uh... una?
574
00:41:21,938 --> 00:41:25,282
Si. Uh, those.
575
00:41:33,241 --> 00:41:34,875
Who are these guys?
576
00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:36,335
That's Bob and Sally.
577
00:41:36,452 --> 00:41:39,630
I rescued them from a lab
that was done with them.
578
00:41:39,747 --> 00:41:41,506
Would you like to adopt them?
579
00:41:41,624 --> 00:41:43,383
- No, I'm good.
- Mm.
580
00:41:43,501 --> 00:41:45,469
Are you sure they should be
in the same cage?
581
00:41:45,587 --> 00:41:48,388
It's only until I find them a home.
582
00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:52,809
Yeah, but they're gonna fuck like...
you're gonna have a billion rabbits.
583
00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:56,688
Do you mind if I put on some music?
584
00:41:56,806 --> 00:41:59,066
Sure, but don't judge me.
585
00:41:59,184 --> 00:42:00,817
Are you allergic to anything?
586
00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:04,905
Uh, no. These are in
a lot of different languages.
587
00:42:05,023 --> 00:42:06,615
You said you wouldn't judge.
588
00:42:06,733 --> 00:42:09,451
- I'm not, I'm just impressed.
- Good.
589
00:42:09,569 --> 00:42:10,994
Do you speak any of these languages?
590
00:42:11,112 --> 00:42:14,081
Mm-hmm. Do you like leeks?
591
00:42:14,199 --> 00:42:16,416
Sure. How many do you speak?
592
00:42:16,534 --> 00:42:19,086
- Oh, I don't know.
- You don't know?
593
00:42:19,204 --> 00:42:23,465
Um... French, German, Italian,
594
00:42:23,583 --> 00:42:27,135
Spanish, a few forms of Arabic,
595
00:42:27,253 --> 00:42:30,889
Japanese, Latin, Greek...
596
00:42:31,007 --> 00:42:33,767
I think that's it.
597
00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:38,272
- You don't speak Sumerian?
- No, do you?
598
00:42:38,389 --> 00:42:41,692
I don't speak dead languages.
599
00:42:42,616 --> 00:42:44,361
Do you mind?
600
00:42:44,479 --> 00:42:46,321
The ashtray isn't decoration.
601
00:42:47,857 --> 00:42:49,908
That's true.
602
00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:59,209
You should quit smoking.
603
00:42:59,327 --> 00:43:01,420
You are a hypocrite.
604
00:43:03,248 --> 00:43:06,049
No, I'm not.
605
00:43:09,170 --> 00:43:11,596
Uh, would you mind watching the soup
606
00:43:11,714 --> 00:43:14,474
while I use the restroom?
607
00:43:14,592 --> 00:43:16,810
Yeah, sure.
608
00:44:06,311 --> 00:44:08,779
- Soup's ready.
- Just a second.
609
00:44:10,606 --> 00:44:13,742
Do you ever feel like
you have to shower immediately?
610
00:44:13,860 --> 00:44:16,453
Uh, I think that's a girl thing.
611
00:44:16,571 --> 00:44:18,330
Showering is a girl thing?
612
00:44:18,448 --> 00:44:20,791
I'm going to the beach on Sunday.
613
00:44:20,908 --> 00:44:23,752
You are waiting to bathe in the sea?
614
00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:26,296
Uh, yup. You want to come?
615
00:44:26,414 --> 00:44:28,173
That's gross.
616
00:44:28,291 --> 00:44:29,966
Seriously, do you want to go with me?
617
00:44:30,084 --> 00:44:33,553
I can't. I'm taking medication
that makes my skin sun-sensitive.
618
00:44:35,214 --> 00:44:38,475
So, I only get to see you at night?
619
00:44:38,593 --> 00:44:41,561
You can meet my husband
and kids, if you want,
620
00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:44,898
but our nights together
must remain a secret.
621
00:44:45,016 --> 00:44:47,901
Mm. Yeah, we'd probably get
bored with each other anyway.
622
00:44:50,521 --> 00:44:53,824
Not bad. What's in it?
623
00:44:53,941 --> 00:44:56,326
Leeks, saffron, and rabbit.
624
00:44:58,738 --> 00:45:00,497
It's just a broth
625
00:45:00,615 --> 00:45:03,875
with a bunch of spices and vegetables.
626
00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:06,211
Oh, Jesus, you're a vegetarian?
627
00:45:06,329 --> 00:45:10,298
I try to be, but sometimes I crave meat.
628
00:45:25,473 --> 00:45:26,606
I've got to go to work.
629
00:45:26,724 --> 00:45:30,360
Thank you, be safe. Blanket.
630
00:45:48,830 --> 00:45:52,382
- Is this bad?
- It's a tree.
631
00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:55,260
- Here.
- Why don't you just kill 'em?
632
00:45:55,378 --> 00:45:58,847
They help to make fruit.
633
00:45:58,965 --> 00:46:02,476
They kill the tree
so they can pollinate it?
634
00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:04,686
Mother Nature is crazy, Angelo.
635
00:46:06,848 --> 00:46:08,899
What the hell is that?
636
00:46:09,016 --> 00:46:11,943
Tumore della radice.
637
00:46:12,061 --> 00:46:13,820
No capisco.
638
00:46:13,938 --> 00:46:15,822
Rotten roots.
639
00:46:15,940 --> 00:46:17,908
Root rot, huh?
640
00:46:21,529 --> 00:46:23,747
I've been seeing this Italian girl.
641
00:46:23,865 --> 00:46:26,041
She's really pretty.
642
00:46:26,159 --> 00:46:28,084
But she acts kind of weird sometimes
643
00:46:28,202 --> 00:46:31,729
and I found something
that gives me some doubts.
644
00:46:32,547 --> 00:46:34,461
I appreciate the Italian lessons,
really, I do,
645
00:46:34,561 --> 00:46:36,326
but, Angelo, I have no idea
what the hell you're saying.
646
00:46:36,444 --> 00:46:38,803
Choose your poison.
647
00:46:38,921 --> 00:46:40,972
That's your advice?
648
00:46:41,090 --> 00:46:45,060
Italian women, the best.
649
00:46:45,178 --> 00:46:48,688
That's wonderful advice, Angelo,
but have you been anywhere else?
650
00:46:48,806 --> 00:46:49,981
In France.
651
00:46:50,099 --> 00:46:53,026
So Italian women, you think they're
better than French women?
652
00:46:53,144 --> 00:46:55,362
I get that.
653
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,490
Your wife was a goddess,
Angelo, but I got to tell you
654
00:46:58,608 --> 00:47:01,576
there's a lot of really
beautiful women in the USA.
655
00:47:01,694 --> 00:47:04,412
Italian women.
656
00:47:04,530 --> 00:47:07,791
You realize in America there are
a lot of Italian immigrants, right?
657
00:47:10,203 --> 00:47:14,339
Okay, what now? Is it... do we, like,
bury a virgin lamb skull
658
00:47:14,457 --> 00:47:16,424
full of herbs to ward off the infection?
659
00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:17,884
Che cosa?
660
00:47:18,002 --> 00:47:20,220
You know, the whole voodoo
biodynamic farming thing?
661
00:47:20,338 --> 00:47:23,014
I worked at a restaurant in college.
They told me that Italian farmers...
662
00:47:23,132 --> 00:47:25,183
that's how they do it.
You don't do that?
663
00:47:25,301 --> 00:47:28,937
Fungus killer spray in shed.
664
00:47:29,055 --> 00:47:30,814
Spray? Got it.
665
00:48:11,847 --> 00:48:14,149
- Did you farm again today?
- Yes, I did.
666
00:48:14,267 --> 00:48:17,611
It's amazing,
you're picking it up so quickly.
667
00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:19,237
I don't make bad jokes
about what you do.
668
00:48:19,355 --> 00:48:21,406
I can imagine it being this really
intense apprenticeship
669
00:48:21,524 --> 00:48:24,909
where he shares all of his worldly
knowledge as you tend to the land.
670
00:48:25,027 --> 00:48:27,746
No, it's nothing like that.
671
00:48:30,449 --> 00:48:32,959
- Hey.
- What?
672
00:48:33,077 --> 00:48:36,421
Can I ask you something? Don't get mad.
673
00:48:36,539 --> 00:48:38,798
Depends what it is.
674
00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:41,134
This morning I found a used syringe
on your bathroom floor.
675
00:48:41,252 --> 00:48:43,762
I know it's none of my business
and we just met, but...
676
00:48:43,879 --> 00:48:46,598
Uh, okay, it's not drugs.
I have a medical condition
677
00:48:46,716 --> 00:48:50,310
that comes and goes
and it's a very long story.
678
00:48:50,428 --> 00:48:53,647
Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have
even bothered to...
679
00:48:53,764 --> 00:48:57,525
I'm... I didn't think you were a junkie,
I just needed to know what it was.
680
00:48:57,643 --> 00:49:00,320
Do you think I gave you AIDS?
681
00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:03,448
- No.
- Oh, you did. You thought it!
682
00:49:03,566 --> 00:49:04,908
- No, I didn't.
- Hep C?
683
00:49:05,026 --> 00:49:08,286
- That would've been worth it.
- Oh, come on, I don't believe you.
684
00:49:08,404 --> 00:49:10,914
Can I do something
really corny right now?
685
00:49:11,032 --> 00:49:12,123
Again?
686
00:49:12,241 --> 00:49:13,750
I've been carrying this thing
around for a week
687
00:49:13,868 --> 00:49:16,753
and I haven't used it once,
but I'd really like a picture with you.
688
00:49:16,871 --> 00:49:18,088
You haven't called anyone?
689
00:49:18,205 --> 00:49:22,050
Uh, calling card's cheaper
and the only person I call is Tommy
690
00:49:22,168 --> 00:49:24,469
and he's always drunk, so...
691
00:49:24,587 --> 00:49:27,472
What about your family?
692
00:49:29,592 --> 00:49:31,726
Well, tell me about your family.
693
00:49:31,844 --> 00:49:34,813
Well, they're great.
694
00:49:34,930 --> 00:49:37,107
Scusa. Scusa!
695
00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:43,822
- Sure.
- Grazie.
696
00:49:43,939 --> 00:49:46,282
- Just one photo, please.
- All right.
697
00:49:48,752 --> 00:49:51,346
- Okay.
- Grazie.
698
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:53,707
- You moved.
- Un altro?
699
00:49:53,824 --> 00:49:56,334
- No, no. Grazie, no.
- Okay.
700
00:50:00,956 --> 00:50:04,676
Tell... tell me about your family.
701
00:50:04,794 --> 00:50:08,680
I really don't want to
do that right now.
702
00:50:10,591 --> 00:50:12,016
Come on.
703
00:50:14,804 --> 00:50:16,896
You're seriously mad because
I don't want to talk about something?
704
00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,732
You just want to come here,
fuck a foreign girl,
705
00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:20,608
and show your stupid friend the picture.
706
00:50:20,726 --> 00:50:22,736
That doesn't make any sense.
707
00:50:22,853 --> 00:50:24,863
And when I ask you
something important about you
708
00:50:24,980 --> 00:50:27,991
and you don't tell me,
that means you can't be intimate.
709
00:50:28,109 --> 00:50:29,325
I'm so confused right now.
710
00:50:29,443 --> 00:50:33,163
Look, I went to
the fucking beach with you.
711
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:52,682
I'm sorry.
712
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:54,976
I think you're overreacting,
but I'm sorry.
713
00:50:55,094 --> 00:50:59,564
And I think you're being annoying,
but maybe I was just being crazy.
714
00:51:01,058 --> 00:51:02,484
Do you want to hear about my family?
715
00:51:02,601 --> 00:51:05,111
Yes, I do. Yes.
716
00:51:05,229 --> 00:51:06,571
It's a fucked-up story.
717
00:51:06,689 --> 00:51:09,240
So we're sleeping together
and I'm, like, making you meals,
718
00:51:09,358 --> 00:51:10,617
but you can't tell me anything?
719
00:51:10,735 --> 00:51:12,410
The only family I had
was my mom and dad.
720
00:51:12,528 --> 00:51:14,788
My dad died suddenly of a heart attack.
721
00:51:14,905 --> 00:51:17,749
My mom was diagnosed with
cancer a few months after that.
722
00:51:17,867 --> 00:51:19,876
I came home from college
a couple years ago
723
00:51:19,994 --> 00:51:22,587
to take care of her
and she died last week.
724
00:51:25,458 --> 00:51:28,218
Wow, I mean, that's horrible.
725
00:51:28,335 --> 00:51:30,386
No shit.
726
00:51:32,089 --> 00:51:34,265
Not exactly great dinner conversation.
727
00:51:34,383 --> 00:51:36,893
Are you okay?
728
00:51:39,138 --> 00:51:42,690
Do I seem all right?
729
00:51:44,226 --> 00:51:46,694
I like you.
730
00:51:46,812 --> 00:51:48,238
Were you better before?
731
00:51:48,355 --> 00:51:50,698
I think I'm all right.
732
00:51:50,816 --> 00:51:55,328
You've got the same backstory as Batman.
733
00:51:55,446 --> 00:51:57,760
This is so cool.
734
00:52:00,159 --> 00:52:02,377
Are you mad?
735
00:52:02,495 --> 00:52:05,380
I mean, I've got nothing to avenge
if I become a masked vigilante...
736
00:52:05,498 --> 00:52:07,841
Oh, shut up. I mean how sometimes
737
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:11,094
even if you don't believe in a higher
power, you get mad at one.
738
00:52:13,047 --> 00:52:17,517
Yeah, I'm mad at something
for doing that to them,
739
00:52:17,635 --> 00:52:20,228
making me put my life on hold
740
00:52:20,346 --> 00:52:22,647
while I worked at the same shitty bar
741
00:52:22,765 --> 00:52:25,900
I grew up thinking
I never want to end up at.
742
00:52:31,065 --> 00:52:33,658
How do girls know to do that?
743
00:52:33,776 --> 00:52:36,452
What is it you would've done instead?
744
00:52:38,155 --> 00:52:40,790
I don't know.
745
00:52:40,908 --> 00:52:42,333
And I feel...
746
00:52:42,451 --> 00:52:47,255
I feel guilty and selfish for...
747
00:52:47,373 --> 00:52:52,010
like a sociopath for worrying
about what I'm doing for work
748
00:52:52,127 --> 00:52:54,178
when my whole family just died.
749
00:52:54,296 --> 00:52:58,850
Your professional life is fine.
750
00:52:58,968 --> 00:53:01,019
Do you feel like an orphaned farmer?
751
00:53:02,304 --> 00:53:05,565
No, but I feel like a grown-ass man
who misses his parents.
752
00:53:14,125 --> 00:53:15,699
So...
753
00:53:17,444 --> 00:53:19,787
you gonna tell me something now?
754
00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:23,204
Like what?
755
00:53:24,451 --> 00:53:26,544
I don't know. But I just bared
my soul to you.
756
00:53:26,662 --> 00:53:29,672
- That was baring your soul?
- Fuck off.
757
00:53:29,790 --> 00:53:32,967
Okay, let's see, mm.
758
00:53:33,085 --> 00:53:34,886
Not this one, no.
759
00:53:35,004 --> 00:53:40,725
Um, did you know I have
two different color eyes?
760
00:53:40,843 --> 00:53:42,727
What do you mean?
761
00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:49,400
Holy shit.
762
00:53:49,518 --> 00:53:51,069
Why do you wear the contact?
763
00:53:52,521 --> 00:53:55,907
My ex-boyfriend always made fun of it.
764
00:53:56,025 --> 00:53:58,826
- What an asshole.
- I'm joking. I'm lying.
765
00:53:58,944 --> 00:54:00,745
No one ever did that.
766
00:54:02,448 --> 00:54:04,123
You probably lie a lot.
767
00:54:04,241 --> 00:54:06,834
I've actually never lied to you.
768
00:54:06,952 --> 00:54:10,254
Not once.
769
00:54:10,372 --> 00:54:13,424
Your eyes are beautiful.
770
00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:16,177
And you're not very creative.
771
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:29,273
Hey, Angelo?
772
00:54:31,226 --> 00:54:33,111
Si?
773
00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:39,534
Never seen a tree that has
two different fruits on it.
774
00:54:39,652 --> 00:54:41,577
Lorange tree.
775
00:54:41,695 --> 00:54:45,081
Got lemons and oranges,
so I call it a lorange tree.
776
00:54:45,199 --> 00:54:47,583
Or are those limes?
777
00:54:50,204 --> 00:54:53,340
You get it, loranges?
778
00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:54,492
That's it?
779
00:54:56,794 --> 00:55:00,638
Old tree uses new tree.
780
00:55:00,756 --> 00:55:02,265
The fruit looks good.
781
00:55:02,383 --> 00:55:03,933
Oh, yes.
782
00:55:06,804 --> 00:55:09,313
- Vulcano.
- Volcano?
783
00:55:09,431 --> 00:55:12,859
Yes, volcano make good soil.
784
00:55:12,977 --> 00:55:15,528
- Is it active?
- Ha!
785
00:55:40,947 --> 00:55:42,972
Shit.
786
00:56:24,048 --> 00:56:25,431
Good job, Bob.
787
00:56:30,012 --> 00:56:31,729
Sorry, Sally.
788
00:58:28,005 --> 00:58:30,973
Come in.
789
00:58:31,091 --> 00:58:32,391
Hey.
790
00:58:32,509 --> 00:58:34,602
Long, bad day.
791
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:36,020
Let's stay in.
792
00:58:36,138 --> 00:58:37,521
- Really?
- Yeah.
793
00:58:37,639 --> 00:58:40,650
Sorry I'm being really boring.
794
00:58:40,767 --> 00:58:43,486
- You feel all right?
- I think so.
795
00:58:43,604 --> 00:58:45,029
Do I look all right?
796
00:58:45,147 --> 00:58:46,530
You look beautiful.
797
00:58:46,648 --> 00:58:50,409
I might be sick. You may not
want to get too close.
798
00:58:54,198 --> 00:58:56,207
What are you doing?
799
00:58:56,325 --> 00:58:59,293
Lift up your head.
800
00:58:59,411 --> 00:59:03,881
I read that this is what you do
when a girl gets sick.
801
00:59:03,999 --> 00:59:05,883
You don't have to.
802
00:59:07,127 --> 00:59:08,761
Anything to eat?
803
00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:12,431
There are some oranges
and yogurt in the fridge.
804
00:59:12,549 --> 00:59:15,476
Here, find something for us to watch.
805
00:59:17,387 --> 00:59:19,230
What happened to Bob and Sally?
806
00:59:19,348 --> 00:59:21,440
I don't want to talk about it.
807
00:59:28,899 --> 00:59:30,241
You want some?
808
00:59:30,359 --> 00:59:32,910
Thanks.
809
00:59:33,028 --> 00:59:35,204
My friend Tommy
said he was born with a tail.
810
00:59:35,322 --> 00:59:38,749
I doubt your friend Tommy
is one of the 23 cases ever.
811
00:59:38,867 --> 00:59:40,293
- No, he totally is.
- Mm, yeah.
812
00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,753
We have lots of things
we don't use anymore.
813
00:59:42,871 --> 00:59:45,506
I'm pretty sure they sell this
at Urban Ourfitters.
814
00:59:45,624 --> 00:59:48,843
It's oversimplified and misleading,
but I like the pictures.
815
00:59:48,961 --> 00:59:50,803
Want some water?
816
00:59:50,921 --> 00:59:52,888
Vino.
817
00:59:53,006 --> 00:59:54,890
- Vino?
- Wine.
818
00:59:55,008 --> 00:59:56,475
I know.
819
01:00:00,722 --> 01:00:02,440
Thank you.
820
01:00:11,233 --> 01:00:13,117
Di piu? How much more?
821
01:00:13,235 --> 01:00:15,286
Basta finito.
822
01:00:15,404 --> 01:00:18,456
- For the day?
- Si.
823
01:00:18,573 --> 01:00:20,166
Well, let's go fishing or something.
824
01:00:20,284 --> 01:00:22,501
No. Sono stanco.
825
01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:23,961
Come on, man.
826
01:00:24,079 --> 01:00:26,213
My girlfriend's at work,
I got nothing to do.
827
01:00:27,916 --> 01:00:30,468
Look, if you're stanco,
let me drive these down.
828
01:00:30,585 --> 01:00:32,806
Have fun.
829
01:01:20,635 --> 01:01:23,687
Whoo! Touchdown, Epsilon,
830
01:01:23,805 --> 01:01:27,191
Lamda, Omega! Run! Run, run, Pledge!
831
01:01:27,309 --> 01:01:29,944
Run faster, faggot!
832
01:01:30,062 --> 01:01:33,030
Oh, oh, fuck you!
833
01:01:33,148 --> 01:01:35,533
Oh, oh, oh!
834
01:01:39,446 --> 01:01:42,748
Oh, say, can you see
835
01:01:42,866 --> 01:01:45,835
My gigantic cock?
836
01:02:34,251 --> 01:02:37,761
- Oh. Hi.
- Oh, my God.
837
01:02:37,879 --> 01:02:39,763
- What are you doing here?
- Walking home from work.
838
01:02:39,881 --> 01:02:41,432
What are you doing here?
839
01:02:41,550 --> 01:02:43,476
Um, here.
840
01:02:43,593 --> 01:02:45,936
We're buying gifts now?
841
01:02:46,054 --> 01:02:49,607
It has Roman porn in it. Remember?
842
01:02:49,724 --> 01:02:51,108
You didn't sign it, though.
843
01:03:11,079 --> 01:03:13,589
There are so many more
tourists here than usual.
844
01:03:13,707 --> 01:03:15,549
This is the beginning.
845
01:03:15,667 --> 01:03:18,969
Late spring is a madhouse.
846
01:03:20,922 --> 01:03:22,431
- You want to go somewhere?
- Let's go.
847
01:03:22,549 --> 01:03:26,560
Okay, but you can't tell anyone.
It's a secret.
848
01:03:26,678 --> 01:03:29,605
Not Tommy, no girls.
849
01:03:29,723 --> 01:03:32,233
- Anywhere away from tourists.
- You're a tourist.
850
01:03:32,350 --> 01:03:34,485
We have to get my boat. Come on.
851
01:03:34,603 --> 01:03:36,654
You have a boat?
852
01:03:40,233 --> 01:03:42,660
- Come on, faster, Evan! Faster!
- Can you swim if we sink?
853
01:03:42,777 --> 01:03:44,703
The lady gorilla won't sink.
854
01:03:44,821 --> 01:03:46,539
Seriously, can you swim?
855
01:03:46,656 --> 01:03:48,332
Okay, so we're very close.
856
01:03:48,450 --> 01:03:51,168
So paddle us as fast as you can,
then get down.
857
01:03:51,286 --> 01:03:53,848
All right, have you done this before?
858
01:04:02,130 --> 01:04:03,722
This looks like magic.
859
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:07,851
Looks like stuff from nature
we haven't figured out yet.
860
01:04:07,969 --> 01:04:09,812
Well, what makes this?
861
01:04:09,930 --> 01:04:11,981
The glow? It's from refracted sunlight
862
01:04:12,098 --> 01:04:15,150
coming through a big hole underwater.
863
01:04:15,268 --> 01:04:16,694
How did you find it?
864
01:04:16,811 --> 01:04:18,654
My friend showed it to me.
865
01:04:18,772 --> 01:04:23,492
There are some others the tours
go to, but this one is a secret.
866
01:04:25,237 --> 01:04:29,707
Some of the Roman statues from
the exhibit were found over there.
867
01:04:36,998 --> 01:04:40,050
Hormones and biochemistry.
868
01:04:40,168 --> 01:04:43,887
Moment ruined and I think
we're taking on water.
869
01:04:44,005 --> 01:04:46,223
Stop talking shit about my boat, Evan.
870
01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:08,078
Can I ask you something awkward now?
871
01:05:08,196 --> 01:05:09,913
No.
872
01:05:10,031 --> 01:05:14,126
Do you ever change your clothes?
873
01:05:14,244 --> 01:05:16,587
- Yes!
- Really?
874
01:05:16,705 --> 01:05:18,964
All I brought is my backpack
and the only things they sell here
875
01:05:19,082 --> 01:05:20,633
are, like, "I heart Bologna" shirts.
876
01:05:20,750 --> 01:05:23,344
Octopussy!
877
01:05:23,461 --> 01:05:26,347
- We are not all like that.
- Octopussy.
878
01:05:26,464 --> 01:05:28,057
You girls old enough to drink?
879
01:05:28,174 --> 01:05:31,143
You know where we can get some beer?
880
01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:32,936
Uh, Evan, are you still hungry?
881
01:05:33,054 --> 01:05:34,229
No, I'm good.
882
01:05:34,347 --> 01:05:36,440
'Cause you know, the clinic
opens really early tomorrow.
883
01:05:36,558 --> 01:05:38,734
- Yeah, I have work tomorrow, too.
- I've got to go to bed.
884
01:05:38,852 --> 01:05:40,903
- Don't pay for me.
- No, you did all the rowing.
885
01:05:41,021 --> 01:05:44,198
But thanks for a wonderful time.
886
01:06:16,723 --> 01:06:19,024
What up?
887
01:06:19,142 --> 01:06:22,778
Hey, I have weed in my hotel room.
888
01:06:27,769 --> 01:06:29,660
I don't speak French.
889
01:06:31,988 --> 01:06:35,124
How much to suck my dick?
890
01:06:46,503 --> 01:06:47,845
What the...?
891
01:07:31,589 --> 01:07:33,432
Football bad?
892
01:07:33,550 --> 01:07:35,058
Si.
893
01:07:35,176 --> 01:07:36,643
Where are you off to all dapper?
894
01:07:36,761 --> 01:07:38,270
Chiesa. Come.
895
01:07:54,529 --> 01:07:56,455
Grazie.
896
01:08:04,873 --> 01:08:07,508
Your Italian is going better.
897
01:08:07,625 --> 01:08:09,662
Yeah, I'm trying.
898
01:08:11,379 --> 01:08:14,139
Are there any single donne at church?
899
01:08:14,257 --> 01:08:16,475
Si.
900
01:08:16,593 --> 01:08:18,602
You should ask one out.
901
01:08:20,638 --> 01:08:24,525
- I can't.
- Yeah, you can.
902
01:08:24,642 --> 01:08:26,485
My wife.
903
01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:33,033
Oh, well...
904
01:08:33,151 --> 01:08:35,786
if you ever feel ready, then you should.
905
01:09:23,243 --> 01:09:25,335
- Hey.
- Hey.
906
01:09:25,453 --> 01:09:26,962
Something wrong?
907
01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:29,673
No, it's...
908
01:09:29,791 --> 01:09:32,467
- Can I come in?
- No, it's not a good time right now.
909
01:09:34,754 --> 01:09:37,973
Um, well, I mean if you really have to.
910
01:09:49,018 --> 01:09:53,572
Um, I didn't sleep at all last night,
911
01:09:53,690 --> 01:09:57,200
so forgive me if I stumble through this.
912
01:09:57,318 --> 01:09:59,828
I don't even know how much
you need me to tell you this,
913
01:09:59,946 --> 01:10:02,247
because it's been barely a week,
914
01:10:02,365 --> 01:10:06,043
but things got intense so fast and...
915
01:10:07,912 --> 01:10:10,088
Tell me what?
916
01:10:10,206 --> 01:10:13,216
We can't see each other anymore.
917
01:10:15,587 --> 01:10:18,305
- Are you serious?
- Yes.
918
01:10:18,423 --> 01:10:21,058
I don't think you're ready
for where this is going
919
01:10:21,175 --> 01:10:22,935
and I have some things
I need to work through
920
01:10:23,052 --> 01:10:24,895
without being in a relationship.
921
01:10:25,013 --> 01:10:26,855
And, Evan, I'm...
922
01:10:26,973 --> 01:10:30,525
I'm really, really sorry
for leading you on like this.
923
01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:34,321
I can see how
you could feel like this has...
924
01:10:34,439 --> 01:10:37,032
this has all been going so fast.
925
01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:40,160
Like, if you're freaked out and you
need some space, that's fine.
926
01:10:40,278 --> 01:10:42,245
Evan, you've been through a lot recently
927
01:10:42,363 --> 01:10:45,749
and maybe you're not
thinking clearly, but...
928
01:10:49,037 --> 01:10:50,712
I'm fine.
929
01:10:50,830 --> 01:10:53,757
- What's your problem?
- No, I...
930
01:10:53,875 --> 01:10:58,261
I'd really rather not explain
what's the problem.
931
01:10:58,379 --> 01:11:02,307
Um, again, I can't tell you
how sorry I am
932
01:11:02,425 --> 01:11:05,727
and that you're a wonderful guy, but...
933
01:11:05,845 --> 01:11:09,815
What happened to intimacy
being talking about stuff?
934
01:11:11,809 --> 01:11:15,195
That's it? So I leave here
935
01:11:15,313 --> 01:11:18,740
and it's like you and I never happened?
936
01:11:18,858 --> 01:11:21,618
We never see each other again?
937
01:11:27,784 --> 01:11:29,084
Okay.
938
01:11:37,418 --> 01:11:39,052
I want you to know something...
939
01:11:39,170 --> 01:11:42,431
take it or leave it...
940
01:11:42,548 --> 01:11:44,516
I think you could be
the love of my life,
941
01:11:44,634 --> 01:11:47,894
and I know that sounds stupid,
it's only been five days.
942
01:11:48,012 --> 01:11:50,147
But it's true.
943
01:11:50,264 --> 01:11:53,150
If you don't feel anything for me
and that's what this is really about,
944
01:11:53,267 --> 01:11:55,110
then I wish you the best
with everything in your life
945
01:11:55,228 --> 01:11:58,321
'cause I think you're an amazing person.
946
01:11:58,439 --> 01:12:01,074
But if you do feel something,
947
01:12:01,192 --> 01:12:04,286
I think you should think
about this a little bit longer.
948
01:12:12,453 --> 01:12:14,004
All right.
949
01:12:42,608 --> 01:12:43,950
I'm taking off, Angelo.
950
01:12:47,822 --> 01:12:50,499
Uh, donne problema.
951
01:12:51,760 --> 01:12:53,335
Oh, I didn't hit her.
952
01:12:53,453 --> 01:12:57,214
I hit a wall 'cause she
broke up with me.
953
01:12:57,831 --> 01:12:59,216
Stupido.
954
01:13:01,294 --> 01:13:03,011
"Donna Italiana," right?
955
01:13:03,129 --> 01:13:05,138
Ciao.
956
01:13:08,634 --> 01:13:10,435
Hey, Angelo?
957
01:13:12,638 --> 01:13:15,065
I wanted to say thank you.
958
01:13:15,183 --> 01:13:17,067
Uh, even with all this,
I'm living the fantasy
959
01:13:17,185 --> 01:13:19,402
of some rich American housewife.
960
01:13:21,981 --> 01:13:24,407
I don't know how much
longer I'm gonna stay here,
961
01:13:24,525 --> 01:13:27,202
but I want you to know
that I appreciate all this.
962
01:13:32,283 --> 01:13:33,875
Policia?
963
01:13:33,993 --> 01:13:36,211
Immigrazione.
964
01:13:36,329 --> 01:13:38,588
Immigration? Do I need to worry?
965
01:13:38,706 --> 01:13:40,966
- Si.
- Should I run?
966
01:13:41,084 --> 01:13:42,759
Si.
967
01:14:15,201 --> 01:14:18,295
So back in the US,
the cops are after me.
968
01:14:18,412 --> 01:14:21,089
Before that, I lost my job
969
01:14:21,207 --> 01:14:24,593
and lost my... my parents.
970
01:14:26,671 --> 01:14:29,764
Here, I lost my job,
971
01:14:29,882 --> 01:14:34,352
lost my girlfriend,
and the cops are after me.
972
01:16:12,860 --> 01:16:15,829
Can you start...
973
01:16:15,947 --> 01:16:18,456
can you start the shower, please?
974
01:16:42,265 --> 01:16:43,898
Are you a vampire, werewolf,
975
01:16:44,016 --> 01:16:47,444
zombie, witch, or alien?
976
01:16:48,361 --> 01:16:50,113
Human.
977
01:16:52,525 --> 01:16:54,784
Are you scared of me?
978
01:16:56,153 --> 01:16:58,163
Yeah,
979
01:16:58,281 --> 01:17:01,916
but explain it to me.
980
01:17:05,413 --> 01:17:07,434
Sorry, I...
981
01:17:09,959 --> 01:17:12,469
Evan.
982
01:17:12,586 --> 01:17:14,471
Calm...
983
01:17:14,588 --> 01:17:16,765
Fuck.
984
01:17:22,430 --> 01:17:25,273
Evan, that is me.
985
01:17:26,934 --> 01:17:28,735
No, it's not.
986
01:17:28,853 --> 01:17:30,195
It is.
987
01:17:30,313 --> 01:17:33,490
I posed for that painting
almost 2,000 years ago.
988
01:17:33,607 --> 01:17:36,826
Ha! This is the crazy I can't handle.
989
01:17:36,944 --> 01:17:40,663
My eyes are like this because
of hereditary heterochromia.
990
01:17:40,781 --> 01:17:42,040
Do you know what that means?
991
01:17:42,158 --> 01:17:44,501
I don't know. You, like, give it
to your kids or something?
992
01:17:44,618 --> 01:17:47,629
Correct, but I've been
giving it to myself.
993
01:17:47,747 --> 01:17:49,714
There are things I have found out
in the last two decades
994
01:17:49,832 --> 01:17:52,759
that I don't understand entirely
and you may find them upsetting.
995
01:17:52,877 --> 01:17:54,344
You're trying not to upset me?
996
01:17:54,462 --> 01:17:57,013
You dumped me and became a monster.
997
01:17:57,131 --> 01:17:59,057
Okay, you win one argument.
998
01:17:59,175 --> 01:18:03,144
Um, do you know
what embryonic stem cells are?
999
01:18:03,262 --> 01:18:05,438
Cure stuff. You abort babies to get 'em.
1000
01:18:05,556 --> 01:18:07,982
Not necessarily, but you
kind of get the idea.
1001
01:18:08,100 --> 01:18:10,443
They replicate for a long time
and can be used to heal
1002
01:18:10,561 --> 01:18:12,195
- or maintain your whole body.
- So that's what you are?
1003
01:18:12,313 --> 01:18:14,072
You're like "Newsweek" fountain
of youth cells or something?
1004
01:18:14,190 --> 01:18:15,990
Sure, so my body uses the cells
1005
01:18:16,108 --> 01:18:19,661
so I stay the same age
and heal very fast.
1006
01:18:19,779 --> 01:18:22,539
But... embryonic cells?
1007
01:18:22,656 --> 01:18:24,999
Are you fucking pregnant?
1008
01:18:26,410 --> 01:18:27,961
Fuck!
1009
01:18:28,079 --> 01:18:30,046
I conceive and about a week later
1010
01:18:30,164 --> 01:18:33,049
I'm a healthy 20-year-old
with 50% new DNA.
1011
01:18:33,167 --> 01:18:37,720
I stay the same age for about 20 years
and then I need new cells.
1012
01:18:37,838 --> 01:18:41,433
- And you dumped me once you got 'em.
- You wouldn't have recognized me anyway.
1013
01:18:41,550 --> 01:18:45,645
I'll have to start a new life.
I always do, every 20 years.
1014
01:18:45,763 --> 01:18:48,481
Why tonight? Why even get to know me?
1015
01:18:48,599 --> 01:18:50,024
I didn't want to hurt you.
1016
01:18:50,142 --> 01:18:52,902
- Ha!
- God damn it, I mean physically.
1017
01:18:53,020 --> 01:18:55,530
Before my body uses the cells,
it goes crazy.
1018
01:18:55,648 --> 01:18:58,408
I rot, I turn into creatures
from our evolutionary past,
1019
01:18:58,526 --> 01:19:01,494
- I fucking kill stuff!
- Fuck!
1020
01:19:03,239 --> 01:19:06,082
- Hey, we both have tempers, huh?
- Yeah, but mine's worse.
1021
01:19:06,200 --> 01:19:09,210
And something is off.
And I thought I could control it, but...
1022
01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:12,088
fuck, I got...
1023
01:19:12,206 --> 01:19:15,091
I got desperate
and I tried occult books and...
1024
01:19:15,209 --> 01:19:17,385
- Occult books?
- I ate my rabbit.
1025
01:19:17,503 --> 01:19:20,096
- What?
- Okay, it's not magic, okay?
1026
01:19:20,214 --> 01:19:24,434
There's adult stem cells in cat brains
and rabbit intestines, testicles.
1027
01:19:24,552 --> 01:19:25,935
Well, use those!
1028
01:19:26,053 --> 01:19:29,314
I do, but they aren't as effective.
1029
01:19:29,432 --> 01:19:33,193
Okay, well, whatever I saw
on your living room floor,
1030
01:19:33,310 --> 01:19:35,737
that was not the physical laws
of the universe.
1031
01:19:35,855 --> 01:19:37,363
- Okay, just...
- I need a second.
1032
01:19:37,481 --> 01:19:39,449
Look, just because you haven't
seen something before, Evan,
1033
01:19:39,567 --> 01:19:41,784
doesn't mean it's supernatural.
1034
01:19:42,443 --> 01:19:45,163
Evan. Can you please stop walking away?
1035
01:19:45,281 --> 01:19:47,582
- Please?
- Give me a minute.
1036
01:20:31,619 --> 01:20:34,003
- Hello?
- Hello? Tommy!
1037
01:20:34,121 --> 01:20:35,463
- Yeah?
- Hey, it's Evan!
1038
01:20:35,581 --> 01:20:37,131
- Ev!
- What's up, man?
1039
01:20:37,249 --> 01:20:41,135
- How you doin', brother?
- I'm good, I'm good.
1040
01:20:41,253 --> 01:20:44,264
- Yeah, I met a girl.
- What? Is she fucking hot?
1041
01:20:44,381 --> 01:20:47,684
Yeah, she's... she's really hot, yeah.
1042
01:20:48,302 --> 01:20:51,854
- Um, do you have a sec?
- Uh, sure, man.
1043
01:20:51,972 --> 01:20:53,356
What's up?
1044
01:20:53,474 --> 01:20:57,235
I got this girl or, uh...
maybe monster pregnant
1045
01:20:57,353 --> 01:20:59,028
and I don't know if she's gonna, like,
1046
01:20:59,146 --> 01:21:01,030
- give birth to herself or...
- What?
1047
01:21:01,148 --> 01:21:04,242
- Hello? Tommy? Tommy?
- Hello? Ev?
1048
01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:06,703
Ev, dude, I just smoked
a huge fucking bowl...
1049
01:21:06,820 --> 01:21:08,746
- Smoked a huge bowl?
- Yeah, man.
1050
01:21:08,864 --> 01:21:11,874
- Like, right before you called.
- Gotcha.
1051
01:21:11,992 --> 01:21:13,626
Yeah, right before I got
on the phone? Okay.
1052
01:21:13,744 --> 01:21:15,378
Yeah.
1053
01:21:15,496 --> 01:21:19,382
Um, no, no. No problem, man,
no problem at all.
1054
01:21:19,500 --> 01:21:22,176
Just, uh... I'll call you back
another time.
1055
01:21:22,294 --> 01:21:23,761
Call me back, man.
Have a good time out there.
1056
01:21:23,879 --> 01:21:26,556
Yeah. Yup, enjoy.
1057
01:22:35,492 --> 01:22:37,752
I know it's complicated, obviously,
1058
01:22:37,870 --> 01:22:41,464
but let's talk about this.
1059
01:22:44,668 --> 01:22:48,388
That's me.
1060
01:22:48,505 --> 01:22:50,807
It's something chemical.
1061
01:22:50,924 --> 01:22:53,476
Pheromones.
1062
01:22:53,594 --> 01:22:55,520
If I do this to a plant,
you have to wonder what it is
1063
01:22:55,638 --> 01:22:57,438
you're actually feeling.
1064
01:23:00,100 --> 01:23:02,485
I've seen what happens to you.
1065
01:23:02,603 --> 01:23:06,656
I mean, I've seen this
at its worst, right?
1066
01:23:06,774 --> 01:23:08,491
And I can deal with that part.
1067
01:23:08,609 --> 01:23:12,495
No. You want to be with someone
that is basically going to be related
1068
01:23:12,613 --> 01:23:15,790
to you and when you're 85
you'll look like an inbred pedophile?
1069
01:23:15,908 --> 01:23:18,793
- Yes, probably.
- No.
1070
01:23:18,911 --> 01:23:20,503
In a day I'll be someone else and, Evan,
1071
01:23:20,621 --> 01:23:23,339
you should get far
to keep all your stuff attached.
1072
01:23:23,457 --> 01:23:26,676
Let's use the time we have.
1073
01:23:26,794 --> 01:23:29,387
Why? Why?
1074
01:23:29,505 --> 01:23:31,013
For just a little while longer,
1075
01:23:31,131 --> 01:23:34,183
I'm a normal guy, you're a normal girl.
1076
01:23:34,301 --> 01:23:35,893
We're here.
1077
01:23:36,011 --> 01:23:39,355
I'd regret it if we didn't
take this to its end.
1078
01:23:39,473 --> 01:23:43,484
Evan, you know that I'm not
in love with you, right?
1079
01:23:48,440 --> 01:23:51,701
You like being with me.
1080
01:23:51,819 --> 01:23:53,911
You like the sex and all that?
1081
01:23:56,824 --> 01:23:59,083
You smell good.
1082
01:23:59,201 --> 01:24:01,586
And you're funny,
1083
01:24:01,704 --> 01:24:04,714
and I like the closeness.
1084
01:24:04,832 --> 01:24:07,633
Great.
1085
01:24:07,751 --> 01:24:10,052
So...
1086
01:24:10,170 --> 01:24:14,640
how different is your personality
gonna be when you use my cells?
1087
01:24:14,758 --> 01:24:17,643
Well, with your impulsiveness
and some other personality stuff,
1088
01:24:17,761 --> 01:24:19,270
about half of you.
1089
01:24:19,388 --> 01:24:21,731
Keep my memories, that's nice.
1090
01:24:21,849 --> 01:24:25,485
When you realize that you're
madly in love with me.
1091
01:24:25,602 --> 01:24:27,236
That's the only way this goes down?
1092
01:24:27,354 --> 01:24:29,655
To live forever, yes.
1093
01:24:29,773 --> 01:24:32,158
What about not forever?
1094
01:24:32,276 --> 01:24:36,078
Evan, I really think you're great,
but I'm not giving up eternity
1095
01:24:36,196 --> 01:24:37,663
- for a guy I just met a week ago.
- I know.
1096
01:24:37,781 --> 01:24:42,001
I don't mean to sound like a selfish
dick, but is there a way?
1097
01:24:42,119 --> 01:24:45,338
My adult stem cells, but they're weak
and they would give me one life.
1098
01:24:46,874 --> 01:24:48,925
So you'd be choosing death?
1099
01:24:49,042 --> 01:24:51,677
I don't choose.
1100
01:24:51,795 --> 01:24:54,680
- What?
- Nothing, nothing.
1101
01:24:54,798 --> 01:24:58,476
Seven days from getting pregnant,
my body metabolizes the cells
1102
01:24:58,594 --> 01:25:00,937
and that's in about a day.
1103
01:25:05,392 --> 01:25:08,152
So spend it with me on a road trip.
1104
01:25:08,270 --> 01:25:09,612
No.
1105
01:25:09,730 --> 01:25:13,574
The transformations are getting
way worse and I can't control them.
1106
01:25:13,692 --> 01:25:17,620
Come on, 24-hour road trip,
or until you love me.
1107
01:25:17,738 --> 01:25:19,872
Evan, maybe we should just
rip the Band-Aid off
1108
01:25:19,990 --> 01:25:24,460
before a fucking scaly appendage
rips off your... head.
1109
01:25:24,578 --> 01:25:26,546
You know, you get until Earth dies,
1110
01:25:26,663 --> 01:25:29,048
I get one more day with you.
1111
01:25:29,166 --> 01:25:31,259
- Shit.
- What?
1112
01:25:31,376 --> 01:25:33,010
Immigration.
They came to the farm today.
1113
01:25:33,128 --> 01:25:35,471
- Fuck, we should get out of here.
- Why?
1114
01:25:35,589 --> 01:25:38,015
- Um, Italian jail.
- What?
1115
01:25:38,133 --> 01:25:40,142
Yes, they throw in illegal
immigrants all the time.
1116
01:25:40,260 --> 01:25:42,019
Dude, they're gonna rape you.
1117
01:25:46,683 --> 01:25:49,277
Anybody ever driven off the cliff?
1118
01:25:49,394 --> 01:25:51,445
Uh, I did once.
1119
01:25:51,563 --> 01:25:53,823
Years ago.
1120
01:25:55,374 --> 01:25:56,959
You're not driving.
1121
01:26:03,617 --> 01:26:06,377
All right, where's our first hideout?
1122
01:26:06,495 --> 01:26:07,962
Naples!
1123
01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:10,006
What's in Naples?
1124
01:26:10,123 --> 01:26:14,385
Good restaurants and stores
for you to buy some clothes.
1125
01:26:15,629 --> 01:26:17,263
You never told me you had a car.
1126
01:26:17,381 --> 01:26:20,057
It never came up.
1127
01:26:20,175 --> 01:26:21,893
Pull over.
1128
01:26:22,010 --> 01:26:23,436
What else do you have?
1129
01:26:23,554 --> 01:26:25,897
You've seen my boat.
1130
01:26:27,641 --> 01:26:30,484
Come on, in 2,000 years
you must've invested in something.
1131
01:26:30,602 --> 01:26:33,863
Okay, I have an apartment in Rome.
1132
01:26:33,981 --> 01:26:36,240
In Paris.
1133
01:26:36,358 --> 01:26:38,326
In Bali.
1134
01:26:38,443 --> 01:26:40,703
So you're slummin' it with me right now?
1135
01:26:40,821 --> 01:26:43,039
It actually is a fucking nightmare.
1136
01:26:43,156 --> 01:26:46,250
I have to constantly come up
with new federal ID numbers,
1137
01:26:46,368 --> 01:26:50,338
will stuff to myself...
it's a nightmare.
1138
01:26:50,455 --> 01:26:52,924
- Right.
- Right.
1139
01:26:53,041 --> 01:26:55,259
What's your original name?
1140
01:26:55,377 --> 01:26:59,180
Uh, uh... I don't remember.
1141
01:26:59,298 --> 01:27:01,057
Really?
1142
01:27:01,174 --> 01:27:03,976
Well, do you remember the address
of your childhood home?
1143
01:27:04,094 --> 01:27:06,395
Yes, I do.
1144
01:27:06,513 --> 01:27:08,230
Fuck! Oh, fuck! Evan!
1145
01:27:08,348 --> 01:27:09,774
The olive farmer police!
1146
01:27:09,892 --> 01:27:11,359
Just get down, they won't see you.
1147
01:27:11,476 --> 01:27:12,860
- No!
- Just get down.
1148
01:27:12,978 --> 01:27:14,820
Hold on. Hold on.
1149
01:27:18,509 --> 01:27:22,870
- Are they gone?
- Yeah. That was very European.
1150
01:27:33,790 --> 01:27:36,384
This is some hipster shit.
1151
01:27:38,795 --> 01:27:41,514
We should get back on the road.
1152
01:27:41,632 --> 01:27:44,767
What do you like more,
pool or the ocean?
1153
01:27:44,885 --> 01:27:47,603
Um, ocean.
1154
01:27:47,721 --> 01:27:49,772
No sharks in pools, that's nice,
1155
01:27:49,890 --> 01:27:53,275
but the ocean goes on and on and on.
1156
01:27:53,393 --> 01:27:54,902
It's mysterious.
1157
01:27:55,020 --> 01:27:56,612
Put your feet in the ocean, then.
1158
01:27:56,730 --> 01:27:59,615
No, no, this pool has enough mystery.
1159
01:27:59,733 --> 01:28:03,244
I mean, it doesn't make any sense,
but it's nice.
1160
01:28:03,362 --> 01:28:05,371
Like you.
1161
01:28:05,489 --> 01:28:08,290
- I don't make any sense?
- No, not really.
1162
01:28:12,079 --> 01:28:15,256
Why go on the run with me, then?
1163
01:28:15,374 --> 01:28:19,760
First time we sat down
and talked, it was easy.
1164
01:28:19,878 --> 01:28:22,596
And then it stayed easy.
1165
01:28:22,714 --> 01:28:24,473
And that's it?
1166
01:28:24,591 --> 01:28:27,601
You had a profound moment I missed?
1167
01:28:30,013 --> 01:28:33,149
First time we had sex.
1168
01:28:33,266 --> 01:28:34,650
Really?
1169
01:28:36,061 --> 01:28:37,903
Yeah.
1170
01:28:38,021 --> 01:28:40,865
No, I mean, really, like, you knew then
1171
01:28:40,983 --> 01:28:43,993
you wanted graves next to each other?
1172
01:28:45,278 --> 01:28:47,997
No, I mean I... there wasn't
a moment when I knew.
1173
01:28:49,908 --> 01:28:51,375
But I do know.
1174
01:28:53,620 --> 01:28:57,506
I'm just saying if I felt we should
share all of our time together...
1175
01:28:57,624 --> 01:29:00,134
and I'm not saying I do...
1176
01:29:00,252 --> 01:29:04,513
it's not because of something
that could be expressed.
1177
01:29:04,631 --> 01:29:08,350
And also, like, you saw me
all fucked up and you're still here.
1178
01:29:10,137 --> 01:29:12,563
Oh.
1179
01:29:12,681 --> 01:29:15,274
I guess...
1180
01:29:15,392 --> 01:29:19,779
your place is clean. I like that.
1181
01:29:19,896 --> 01:29:23,032
And your voice,
your voice keeps me around.
1182
01:29:32,701 --> 01:29:34,293
What?
1183
01:29:36,163 --> 01:29:38,589
Welcome to Naples!
1184
01:29:38,707 --> 01:29:42,009
- Benvenuto!
- Are we looking for crack?
1185
01:29:42,127 --> 01:29:45,304
We're on the run.
No police ever come here.
1186
01:29:45,422 --> 01:29:47,389
You're trying to get me killed.
1187
01:29:47,507 --> 01:29:49,225
- Hashish?
- How much?
1188
01:29:49,342 --> 01:29:51,185
- No, grazie, grazie. Grazie.
- 20?
1189
01:29:51,303 --> 01:29:53,562
- Can you change 50?
- Don't even make eye contact.
1190
01:29:53,680 --> 01:29:56,398
Are you kidding me?
1191
01:29:56,516 --> 01:29:58,567
Do you have a lighter?
1192
01:30:00,953 --> 01:30:02,738
That's terrible.
1193
01:30:02,856 --> 01:30:05,241
We should buy you some clothes now.
1194
01:30:05,358 --> 01:30:08,244
- Why do you hate my shirt?
- You don't listen.
1195
01:30:08,361 --> 01:30:10,538
- Oh, I listen.
- No, you still don't.
1196
01:30:10,655 --> 01:30:12,248
Oh, I listen.
1197
01:30:12,365 --> 01:30:13,833
Uh, let's see, I got you pregnant.
1198
01:30:13,950 --> 01:30:16,460
You can use those embryo cells
to heal fast and live forever.
1199
01:30:16,578 --> 01:30:19,839
When you do that, you physically become
half the man who got you pregnant.
1200
01:30:19,956 --> 01:30:22,591
Um, when you are pregnant, you turn
into a cross between creatures
1201
01:30:22,709 --> 01:30:24,343
from our evolutionary past and a corpse.
1202
01:30:24,461 --> 01:30:26,262
You could choose
to use your adult cells,
1203
01:30:26,379 --> 01:30:27,888
but then you'd die someday, so...
1204
01:30:28,006 --> 01:30:29,765
You know, honey,
1205
01:30:29,883 --> 01:30:33,144
just because you listen to a few
things doesn't make you Oprah.
1206
01:30:33,261 --> 01:30:35,062
- It does.
- No, it doesn't.
1207
01:30:35,180 --> 01:30:38,816
I find it amazing that I even
understood half of what you said.
1208
01:30:40,936 --> 01:30:43,612
I've actually never been in a church.
1209
01:30:43,730 --> 01:30:45,948
Well, let's go in that one.
1210
01:30:46,066 --> 01:30:47,825
- You wouldn't be bored?
- No, no.
1211
01:30:47,943 --> 01:30:50,911
I haven't been to that one
since the grand opening.
1212
01:30:54,950 --> 01:30:57,710
So do you know anything about all this?
1213
01:30:57,828 --> 01:31:00,462
I've always been a student of science,
1214
01:31:00,580 --> 01:31:03,507
but it's pretty and I like the rituals.
1215
01:31:03,625 --> 01:31:06,886
No, I mean do you know
anything about, like...?
1216
01:31:07,003 --> 01:31:11,140
No. The gods change so much,
I can't keep up.
1217
01:31:13,718 --> 01:31:17,271
All this time and all the things
you haven't been able to explain.
1218
01:31:17,389 --> 01:31:20,941
Just seems like you'd know
more or something.
1219
01:31:21,059 --> 01:31:24,445
Just because I can't explain
something about myself right now
1220
01:31:24,563 --> 01:31:26,864
doesn't mean it's metaphysical.
1221
01:31:26,982 --> 01:31:28,824
It means science can't explain it yet.
1222
01:31:31,027 --> 01:31:33,787
You looked like a ghost
in that picture at the restaurant.
1223
01:31:33,905 --> 01:31:35,539
You just saw me look like stuff
1224
01:31:35,657 --> 01:31:38,375
from stories you've read
or saw, that's it.
1225
01:31:40,078 --> 01:31:44,006
Guess giant squid were myths
until one washed up on a beach.
1226
01:31:44,124 --> 01:31:46,467
People used to think people with rabies
1227
01:31:46,585 --> 01:31:48,594
and porphyria were vampires,
1228
01:31:48,712 --> 01:31:51,138
but that doesn't mean vampires are real.
1229
01:31:51,256 --> 01:31:54,016
It means science hadn't
caught up with the myth.
1230
01:31:54,134 --> 01:31:57,686
And even if I knew I'm supernatural,
it doesn't prove anything about...
1231
01:32:00,891 --> 01:32:04,485
Fear of the unknown makes a lot
of really pretty stuff, though.
1232
01:32:09,774 --> 01:32:12,660
Um, Louise, did you bring your shots?
1233
01:32:12,777 --> 01:32:14,328
Yeah, there's one in my purse.
1234
01:32:14,446 --> 01:32:17,498
- You should use it.
- Why, do you see something?
1235
01:32:17,616 --> 01:32:19,667
Yeah, a little something.
1236
01:32:19,784 --> 01:32:21,168
Just do it here.
1237
01:32:21,286 --> 01:32:24,004
- Don't get up.
- Okay.
1238
01:32:24,122 --> 01:32:28,300
So, this time in Prussia,
1760-something,
1239
01:32:28,418 --> 01:32:30,135
so I'm walking through the cemetery
1240
01:32:30,253 --> 01:32:31,804
and they're digging up corpses,
1241
01:32:31,922 --> 01:32:35,182
and the corpses would move
from escaping gases and whatnot.
1242
01:32:35,300 --> 01:32:37,518
- And so they're, like, staking...
- Hey, hey, hey, shh.
1243
01:32:37,636 --> 01:32:39,687
...dead people, calling them vampires.
1244
01:32:39,804 --> 01:32:42,022
Nerve-wracking. So I left there.
1245
01:32:42,140 --> 01:32:45,693
I'm in the New World and women
were hung for being witches
1246
01:32:45,810 --> 01:32:47,861
for, like, a lot less than my quirks.
1247
01:32:47,979 --> 01:32:50,489
One colonial guy said I was aging well.
1248
01:32:50,607 --> 01:32:53,284
No joke, I was on the first ship
back to England.
1249
01:32:53,401 --> 01:32:57,579
So, then I'm in France and they
were, like, burning women
1250
01:32:57,697 --> 01:32:59,248
at the stake for having a moody day.
1251
01:32:59,366 --> 01:33:02,418
So I catch a train to Germany
in the 1930s, and, I mean, we all know
1252
01:33:02,535 --> 01:33:04,670
- what happened there, right?
- Hey, Louise?
1253
01:33:04,788 --> 01:33:07,715
Do you want to show me...
what's your favorite museum here?
1254
01:33:07,832 --> 01:33:10,050
- We should go check it out.
- Oh, okay.
1255
01:33:10,168 --> 01:33:13,554
- Can we get some pizza first?
- Of course, yeah.
1256
01:33:20,387 --> 01:33:23,689
Really pouring on
the melodrama in this one.
1257
01:33:23,807 --> 01:33:26,650
You look so different.
1258
01:33:26,768 --> 01:33:31,905
Oh, yeah, my boyfriend before
was a very unattractive Ottoman.
1259
01:33:32,023 --> 01:33:34,491
How many men are you a mix of?
1260
01:33:34,609 --> 01:33:35,909
You don't want to know.
1261
01:33:36,027 --> 01:33:38,370
I don't?
1262
01:33:38,488 --> 01:33:40,414
Are you jealous, Evan?
1263
01:33:40,532 --> 01:33:41,749
No, but if every...
1264
01:33:41,866 --> 01:33:43,417
you're 2,000 years old...
if every 20 years...
1265
01:33:43,535 --> 01:33:47,254
Do you have a problem with how
many men I slept with and my age?
1266
01:33:47,372 --> 01:33:51,091
Okay, just in the fresco
in the book I gave you.
1267
01:33:51,209 --> 01:33:53,927
None. I'm actually 22 years old
in that painting.
1268
01:33:54,045 --> 01:33:55,929
You're a virgin in that painting?
1269
01:33:56,047 --> 01:33:59,266
Yes. Does that make you happy?
1270
01:34:03,930 --> 01:34:07,066
So you really hated being martyred, huh?
1271
01:34:07,183 --> 01:34:09,902
I was just a peasant
posing for the scene.
1272
01:34:10,020 --> 01:34:12,071
After the Black Plague,
I think I was just happy
1273
01:34:12,188 --> 01:34:13,781
I wasn't scrubbing bodily fluids.
1274
01:34:13,898 --> 01:34:15,783
I have just one question.
1275
01:34:19,070 --> 01:34:20,579
Who the fuck is this guy?
1276
01:34:20,697 --> 01:34:22,956
Where do you think I got
these fingers from?
1277
01:34:23,074 --> 01:34:26,043
You're still really pretty
as an Ottoman peasant.
1278
01:34:26,161 --> 01:34:29,003
Look at... look at this guy.
He's like...
1279
01:34:29,664 --> 01:34:32,800
"Stop! Stop hitting me!"
1280
01:34:35,086 --> 01:34:38,347
I wanted to show you something
even older than me.
1281
01:34:39,591 --> 01:34:41,100
I saw this on The Learning Channel.
1282
01:34:41,217 --> 01:34:45,396
It was a bomb shelter
during World War II.
1283
01:34:45,513 --> 01:34:49,358
Yeah, mention World War II and every
American becomes a historian.
1284
01:34:49,476 --> 01:34:52,736
Oh, do they? Well, we watch movies.
1285
01:34:52,854 --> 01:34:55,072
Lots of them.
1286
01:34:58,777 --> 01:35:02,663
So, um, what happens when...
when this goes down?
1287
01:35:02,781 --> 01:35:05,499
This body dies
1288
01:35:05,617 --> 01:35:07,668
and the cells recreate a new one.
1289
01:35:09,204 --> 01:35:11,380
And what if you use your adult cells?
1290
01:35:11,498 --> 01:35:13,841
Then...
1291
01:35:13,958 --> 01:35:17,678
then I'd look exactly the same,
just pregnant,
1292
01:35:17,796 --> 01:35:20,139
and that would be horrifying.
1293
01:35:20,256 --> 01:35:22,015
How much time do you have left?
1294
01:35:22,133 --> 01:35:26,019
Until the equinox. Sunrise, probably.
1295
01:35:26,137 --> 01:35:28,397
Your body knows when winter ends?
1296
01:35:28,515 --> 01:35:30,357
When I was little,
time was measured differently,
1297
01:35:30,475 --> 01:35:33,777
so all that bullshit with sun gods
and whatever, it never...
1298
01:35:33,895 --> 01:35:37,990
Cool, well, if you stay with me...
1299
01:35:39,484 --> 01:35:42,536
I'll give something up, too.
1300
01:35:42,654 --> 01:35:44,580
Smoking.
1301
01:35:47,325 --> 01:35:49,460
We'll both end up like these guys.
1302
01:35:49,577 --> 01:35:53,338
Yeah, in, like, 50 years! Come on!
1303
01:35:53,456 --> 01:35:57,050
So you would be giving up life
to become a father?
1304
01:35:57,168 --> 01:36:00,429
I'm an illegal immigrant olive farmer.
New frontiers.
1305
01:36:00,547 --> 01:36:03,223
So you want to spend
the rest of your life with me?
1306
01:36:04,926 --> 01:36:07,019
Yeah.
1307
01:36:07,137 --> 01:36:10,397
I think you're rushing dating
1308
01:36:10,515 --> 01:36:12,816
and death and fatherhood.
1309
01:36:15,019 --> 01:36:17,404
Well, how do you choose
to use your adult cells?
1310
01:36:17,522 --> 01:36:20,407
- Or your embryonic...
- Oh, wow, look at this guy!
1311
01:36:20,525 --> 01:36:22,993
Whoo!
1312
01:36:23,111 --> 01:36:25,162
How do you choose?
1313
01:36:28,116 --> 01:36:29,917
I don't.
1314
01:36:30,034 --> 01:36:32,794
My... my body chooses.
1315
01:36:32,912 --> 01:36:34,671
Well, how does your body choose?
1316
01:36:37,750 --> 01:36:39,468
Oxytocin.
1317
01:36:39,586 --> 01:36:41,887
I'm totally lost again.
1318
01:36:44,549 --> 01:36:48,685
It's the hormone that makes women
fall in love and get maternal.
1319
01:36:48,803 --> 01:36:51,146
And if it were high enough,
1320
01:36:51,264 --> 01:36:54,608
survival reaction blocks
the embryonic cells
1321
01:36:54,726 --> 01:36:57,110
and defaults into my adult stem cells.
1322
01:36:58,605 --> 01:37:00,614
You know that?
1323
01:37:00,732 --> 01:37:03,283
I mean I don't, but I'm not sure.
1324
01:37:03,401 --> 01:37:06,787
But I can show you
the origin of the theory.
1325
01:37:08,823 --> 01:37:11,792
You're still not in love with me?
1326
01:37:34,766 --> 01:37:37,317
Last syringe.
1327
01:37:37,435 --> 01:37:39,152
You still want this?
1328
01:37:47,779 --> 01:37:50,539
Okay.
1329
01:37:50,657 --> 01:37:54,543
I... I want to show you where I grew up.
1330
01:38:09,217 --> 01:38:11,560
So if you love me,
1331
01:38:11,678 --> 01:38:15,355
then there's this hormone
and you'll stay the same?
1332
01:38:15,473 --> 01:38:17,524
In theory, yeah.
1333
01:38:17,642 --> 01:38:21,737
But neither of us
has much control over it
1334
01:38:21,854 --> 01:38:25,490
and how would I even know?
1335
01:38:27,652 --> 01:38:31,163
I know I'm in love with you.
1336
01:38:31,281 --> 01:38:33,165
You know that?
1337
01:38:33,283 --> 01:38:35,709
Yes.
1338
01:38:35,827 --> 01:38:40,380
So it seems like you should
know if you love me or not.
1339
01:38:40,498 --> 01:38:45,719
So you never lusted for someone
before and then it passed?
1340
01:38:59,017 --> 01:39:02,069
So you've never been in love before?
1341
01:39:02,186 --> 01:39:05,030
I guess not.
1342
01:39:05,148 --> 01:39:07,741
- Not in thousands of years?
- I am not a sociopath, okay?
1343
01:39:07,859 --> 01:39:10,410
I just have really bad luck.
1344
01:39:16,326 --> 01:39:17,751
- Bad luck.
- I got it.
1345
01:39:17,869 --> 01:39:19,836
Okay.
1346
01:39:24,375 --> 01:39:26,426
You probably know the entire city
1347
01:39:26,544 --> 01:39:29,262
was buried by the volcano
you see there in the distance.
1348
01:39:29,380 --> 01:39:32,057
Buried in ash and pumice
perfectly preserved
1349
01:39:32,175 --> 01:39:34,851
and was rediscovered
and dug up centuries later.
1350
01:39:34,969 --> 01:39:36,895
And if you look to your left,
you'll see an example
1351
01:39:37,013 --> 01:39:38,772
of one of the earliest
"Beware of Dog" signs.
1352
01:39:38,890 --> 01:39:40,899
Are you sure there's no security here?
1353
01:39:41,017 --> 01:39:43,860
No, but, Evan, I feel like you
don't want to see my home town.
1354
01:39:45,605 --> 01:39:47,823
- What the fuck?
- Yup.
1355
01:39:47,940 --> 01:39:50,784
When excavators came across
chambers shaped like human...
1356
01:39:50,902 --> 01:39:52,869
Ev... Evan, no!
1357
01:39:52,987 --> 01:39:55,122
- No, come back.
- Was that a real dog?
1358
01:39:55,239 --> 01:39:57,124
What are you doing?
1359
01:39:57,241 --> 01:40:00,919
They injected plaster into them
and that's what you get.
1360
01:40:01,037 --> 01:40:04,589
And here we have the whorehouse.
I've never been there.
1361
01:40:04,707 --> 01:40:06,842
But I've been to the bakery
you see to your right
1362
01:40:06,959 --> 01:40:09,636
and to the bar here on the corner.
1363
01:40:09,754 --> 01:40:11,638
And...
1364
01:40:11,756 --> 01:40:13,390
What?
1365
01:40:15,301 --> 01:40:18,311
I want to show you my family now.
1366
01:40:20,098 --> 01:40:22,357
Okay, that's weird.
1367
01:40:22,475 --> 01:40:25,610
I didn't know
their tombs were here, but...
1368
01:40:25,728 --> 01:40:28,989
So this is my father,
1369
01:40:29,107 --> 01:40:32,159
my mother, and my little brother.
1370
01:40:34,404 --> 01:40:36,705
How did you get away in time?
1371
01:40:36,823 --> 01:40:39,833
- I didn't.
- Then how did you get out?
1372
01:40:39,951 --> 01:40:43,003
You really want to know?
1373
01:40:45,248 --> 01:40:48,425
It's 2,000 years ago, so I'm doing fine.
1374
01:40:48,543 --> 01:40:51,553
My pain threshold is still
built for birthing,
1375
01:40:51,671 --> 01:40:53,847
so lava is fine.
1376
01:40:55,758 --> 01:40:58,393
My oxytocin case study?
1377
01:40:58,511 --> 01:41:00,771
I got it from her.
1378
01:41:00,888 --> 01:41:04,191
It's hereditary.
1379
01:41:04,308 --> 01:41:07,319
She gave it all up for me and my father.
1380
01:41:09,981 --> 01:41:13,366
I don't want to die and I don't
want to watch anyone die.
1381
01:41:17,155 --> 01:41:19,831
Well, at least you got the same
backstory as Harry Potter.
1382
01:41:19,949 --> 01:41:22,209
That's pretty cool.
1383
01:41:22,326 --> 01:41:25,378
Can I say something
in absolute sincerity?
1384
01:41:27,081 --> 01:41:29,800
I'm gonna miss the hell out of you.
1385
01:41:29,917 --> 01:41:32,552
Like, it's gonna fucking hurt, bad.
1386
01:41:35,131 --> 01:41:39,309
Your perfect male fantasy
just shattered.
1387
01:41:39,427 --> 01:41:41,728
A younger wife and a sugar mama.
1388
01:41:45,516 --> 01:41:48,902
Yeah, you forgot the incest part.
I mean, I'm an open-minded guy,
1389
01:41:49,020 --> 01:41:51,780
but I probably wouldn't want that.
1390
01:41:51,898 --> 01:41:54,324
That's the Temple of Apollo sundial.
1391
01:41:54,442 --> 01:41:56,243
- This?
- No, no, no.
1392
01:41:57,862 --> 01:41:59,955
After we borrowed him
from the ancient Greeks,
1393
01:42:00,072 --> 01:42:01,873
he was replaced by Jesus,
1394
01:42:01,991 --> 01:42:04,417
and now we don't know
who the old clock belongs to.
1395
01:42:06,704 --> 01:42:09,965
Um, one last thing you should know.
1396
01:42:12,001 --> 01:42:17,389
Right before I transform,
if I transform...
1397
01:42:17,507 --> 01:42:19,766
that monster
1398
01:42:19,884 --> 01:42:23,103
is gonna be the biggest and sharpest.
1399
01:42:25,181 --> 01:42:27,899
How big?
1400
01:42:28,017 --> 01:42:30,026
Just run.
1401
01:42:30,144 --> 01:42:32,112
Really fast.
1402
01:42:36,880 --> 01:42:39,118
We never got my clothes.
1403
01:42:40,112 --> 01:42:44,624
No. One of us says something
about journey and destination.
1404
01:42:46,828 --> 01:42:49,963
Destinations are underrated?
1405
01:42:50,081 --> 01:42:53,091
You ever wonder
what life is like in the finite?
1406
01:42:53,209 --> 01:42:56,052
Terrifying all the time, I'm sure.
1407
01:42:57,063 --> 01:42:59,008
I don't think so.
1408
01:43:00,550 --> 01:43:04,269
Even at my lowest, I'm still excited
to use the time the best I can.
1409
01:43:04,387 --> 01:43:06,771
There's motivation to make
every second count.
1410
01:43:10,643 --> 01:43:12,235
You never got lonely?
1411
01:43:14,939 --> 01:43:17,073
Not since I met you.
1412
01:43:17,191 --> 01:43:19,868
Doesn't it scare you losing that?
1413
01:43:32,999 --> 01:43:35,050
What are you doing?
1414
01:43:35,167 --> 01:43:37,802
Begging.
1415
01:43:37,920 --> 01:43:40,263
Go on, it's time.
1416
01:43:49,181 --> 01:43:52,692
Tell me more about the finite.
1417
01:44:01,193 --> 01:44:03,119
let's see, uh...
1418
01:44:03,237 --> 01:44:07,624
when you're sick,
it makes you feel lucky
1419
01:44:07,742 --> 01:44:09,834
for all the times when you were healthy.
1420
01:44:12,163 --> 01:44:15,256
Uh, sunrises and sunsets...
1421
01:44:16,667 --> 01:44:20,011
some things
are just beautiful no matter what
1422
01:44:20,129 --> 01:44:22,681
and a constant reminder
that you only get so many.
1423
01:44:24,342 --> 01:44:27,727
So you better fucking enjoy 'em.
1424
01:44:31,515 --> 01:44:34,609
Some pizza and a bottle of wine
with the right person
1425
01:44:34,727 --> 01:44:38,204
that can make the shittiest day better.
1426
01:44:39,466 --> 01:44:42,862
Coffee dates take up a pretty
good chunk of your time, but...
1427
01:44:42,962 --> 01:44:44,810
but they're worth it.
1428
01:44:46,364 --> 01:44:50,250
I don't know, you can choose
to work yourself to death,
1429
01:44:50,368 --> 01:44:54,546
but you could also
throw all that work away
1430
01:44:54,664 --> 01:44:57,257
without regrets for the right person.
1431
01:44:59,251 --> 01:45:02,470
Maybe that's chemical,
but it's also magic.
1432
01:45:05,216 --> 01:45:09,978
Uh, love comes around
a couple times, if you're lucky.
1433
01:45:12,640 --> 01:45:15,525
Life probably seems short
no matter what, but...
106120