All language subtitles for Frasier S10E04 Kissing Cousin

Well, it's official.

Once again, there is no room for me

at the Yo-Yo Ma
Orchestral Fantasy Camp.

Hello.

Frasier, this is
my cousin, Jen.

She's visiting
this week, remember?

Oh, yes.

Of course. So, how are you
enjoying Seattle?

Well...

I've been
living in London,

so Seattle seems
a little lame.

No offense.

Oh, none taken.

So you like London?

Not really.

It's like a parody
of itself.

How so?
Oh, you know,

double-decker buses...
Ah
...

Bobbies, little pubs...

It's like Epcot,
but even fakier.

So I bailed.

Went and spent some
time in Florence.

Ah
...

Firenze.
How is she?

I got to say...

Florence is over.

It was probably cool

before all the Americans
found out about it.

You mean 300 years ago?

Exactly.

That's why
I'm going to Vietnam.

Americans have never
even heard of it.

Ah.
Well, you know, I'm afraid

I have to bail
on this conversation.

I have a show to prepare for.

Uh, Roz, when are we doing
those promos this evening?

Oh, I had
to reschedule those

'cause Jen and I
are going out tonight.

A guy I met on the Internet
is in this band.

We're going to go check them
out, have some drinks

watch all the losers.

Want to come?

While no stranger
to the discotheque

I'm afraid it'll just have to
be you and Roz this evening.

This is our first time going out

since I was a kid.

When she used to baby-sit
me

she was always dragging
me on some wild adventure.

Like that time
we changed that sign

from "School Assembly" to "cool ass."

Ah
...
(chuckles)

Charming.

JEN:
No, you don't understand.

The town we grew up in
was totally boring.

It was like
Kill Yourself, USA, right?

Roz was the only person who did anything fun.

Is that so?
Yeah.

My mom calls me Roz Junior

which is what passes for
wit where we come from.

And our town has the world's..

...fourth largest
thermometer.
Fourth largest thermometer.

Yes, well...

I can see why London
really let you down.

Hey, Doc.
Hi, Kenny.

Remember last month when
you spent your whole show

talking to that
pregnant teenager?
Yes.

Well, it wasn't
a total waste.

We just got nominated

for an Excellence in
Broadcasting Decency award.

Really?

Well, that is quite an honor.

I don't think we've ever
won one of those.

It's a very
prestigious award.

That's what makes it so special when
they call your name.

You know, it's heavier
than it looks.

You don't want to drop
one of those

So you've won one?
Yeah

It's in a box in my office.
You can come by sometime

and I'll show you.
Honestly, Kenny,

when are you going to unpack
those boxes?

Isn't four years enough time
to make that office your own?

Negatory, Doc.

Every time I unpack
in a new job, I get fired--

Tacoma, Moline...

Moline again.

I learned my lesson.
Those boxes stay packed.

So that's why
you haven't unpacked.

You know, all this time I
been using you on my radio show

as an example
of procrastination.

I had no idea
you were just living in fear.

I prefer to see it as
a healthy superstition.

Kenny, there's no such thing
as a healthy superstition.

Oh, yeah?

What do you call
washing your hands

after you go to the bathroom?

(sportscast playing)

Ugh.

Look at this place.

Dad, I don't believe you've
thrown out a single newspaper

since Daphne
moved in with Niles.

Hey, it was your idea
to split up the chores

Recycling is your deal

Recycling and
floors, remember?

I'm in charge of regular garbage and tabletops.

Both of which are nicely
under control, I might add.

Really?

I count three snack plates
around your chair.

All of them on tabletops.

Ah.

Not anymore.

All right.

What's it going to take for you

to start doing your share
of the work around here?

Trade me... floors for garbage.

You'll really take care
of all the floors

if I handle the garbage?

That's right.

(doorbell rings)

Okay.

Okay.

You got a deal, mister.

Hi, Daph.

Hello.

Why is all your garbage
stacked up in the hallway?

That's right,
why is that, Frasier?

Your game is deep.

My, things are a bit untidy
around here, aren't they?

Maybe I'll just clean up the
dishes before we get started.

Daphne, you don't
have to do that.

That's true, you're not our slave anymore.

I'm not going to do all of it.

Just the tabletops.

Oh, that's sweet of you.

Burn.

No, no...

Well, there's room
at Roz's table.

No.

Jen
I find her cousin

just a bit judgmental for my tastes.

Yesterday she told me that
my show was bourgeois.

I pointed out that anything
that had mass appeal

could be called bourgeois.

She then said my argument was bourgeois.

Which I found to be jejune

People in their 20s
are always like that.

Hmm.
The world's so daunting
at that age.

They comfort themselves
with the idea

that everything's just trash.

We were like that
in medical school--

acting as if we were
above it all...

(chuckles)
Smarter than everybody.

It passes.

Hello, Roz

Niles, Frasier.

Hi, Roz.
Come join us.

Thank you
Jen, this is Niles.

Nice to meet you.

"Niles." Whoa.

"Thanks, Mom
and Dad," right?

(lightly chuckles)

FRASIER:
Well, Jen...

good to see you again.

Ah, so how was
our night out, girls?

Well, it's
still going on.

We went to this really
great club called Zoo.

Excuse me, The Zoo?

No, it was
just called Zoo.

And their...
"The."

(laughs)

Roz...

is that glitter in your hair?

Oh, is it?

I thought it all came out
in the car wash.

(cell phone rings)

Oh, that's mine.

Oh...

Hello?

Oh, Anka, you'll never guess

what huge Seattle clich￩
I'm in right now.

I swear, my cousin Roz is like,
the only cool person

in this whole city.

The rest are just drones.

Apparently they don't believe in raw sugar.

Excuse me.

You see what I mean about her.

She's struggling through
a typical phase of development.

Stop being so sensitive.

Hmm...

Sorry about that.

Not at all

So... tell me about you guys.

Roz says
you're super competitive

with each other.
Did your parents

withhold affection or is it
just a penis thing?

Uh, I'll take
mine to go, thank you

Coming up next...

"This Day in
Psychological History,"

after the news.

(yawns)

That was a good show,
Frasier.

It's not over, Roz.
This is just a break.

I'm sorry, I'm so exhausted.

I haven't slept
since Jen got here.

Hey, Roz, you want to go

see some backyard
wrestling tonight?

ROZ:
I don't know.

Maybe we should stay in tonight
and rent a video.

Rent a video?

You're turning into
Aunt Maribelle.

All you need is a beanbag
ashtray and a tracheotomy.

Well, I'm not there yet.

I just thought that maybe
you could use a night off.

Say, Jen

did you have a chance to explore

that art gallery I suggested?

Yeah.

I know you're into that stuff

so I don't want to put it down

But it was like
everything in there

was trying to make us
feel better about our corrupt,

imperialistic,
phallocratic heritage.

They're landscapes.

But I picked up something for you
on the way over here.

Really?
Mm-hmm.

Well...

Oh.

A bust of Freud.

Wow, that's really quite thoughtful of you.

I figured you'd
appreciate the irony.

Since he's been proven wrong
about practically everything.

I like to think
that Freud's theories

will stand the test of time.

Really?

Have you read either of his books?

Excuse me, young lady...

Uh-oh,
here comes the lecture.

Yes.

For once,
you are right.

A disquisition
is indeed at hand.

And may I suggest
that you roll your eyes

back into the forward
position...

...as I may actually employ
some visual aids.

Now our story begins
with a young Greek woman

by the name of Clytemnestra...

Look, everybody,
Kenny's here.

Wow, I've never
heard that before.

Jen, maybe Kenny can show you around the station

You already showed me around
the station yesterday.

I know, but you know what?

I totally forgot to show you
our ratings binders.

You did?
Yeah.

Well, you're in
for a treat.

Here, follow me.

What's that trophy for?

Oh, a little series I produced called

"Life Is My Favorite
Drug Of All."

Sounds pretty lame.

Yeah, it was.

All right, that girl's really getting under my skin.

When is she leaving?

She's not that bad.
Oh, come on, Roz.

She's running you ragged

Oh, please.
This is nothing.

I used to party every night.

Well, sure

At 20, you can do anything.

Hey, there's still a lot
of candy left in this pinata.

That's attractive.

Thank you.

Oh...

And this is my office.

The nerve center.

Where it all goes down

Did you just move in here
or something?

Oh, no, no, but
in AM radio, you got to be

ready to go
at a moment's notice.

One day you're operating

a 50,000-watt powerhouse
in Cleveland,

the next
you're spinning platters

out of a barn in Tulsa town.

But you got to keep moving

It's all about the music

When it isn't about news
and talk.

I heard AM radio's dead.

Yeah, it is.

So you're going to Vietnam?

I'm thinking about it.

.
That's such an original choice

You're so cool.

ly
You're the first person who hasn't
thought I was total

crazy for wanting
to go there.
Oh

What do they know?

I've always loved the
idea of just taking off.

You know, seeing someplace exotic.

Why haven't you?

My wife,
she didn't like to travel.

But you just said
you were separated.

So do it.

Blow it all off, go see Vietnam.

Break out of this prison cell.

I could, couldn't I?

You know,
and I could just be free.

Get a motorcycle, drive around the countryside

and really start to live.

I never even thought
about the motorcycle.

Now you have to do it.

People would think I was nuts.

I wouldn't.

...when Freud's genius
has obviously influenced

every psychiatrist
on the planet.

I haven't forgotten
about your calls.

Stay tuned, won't you?

I'm starting to feel
a little bad

about pawning Jen off
on Kenny like that.

He's been a little down lately

And Jen can be a little...
well, negative sometimes.

I hadn't noticed.

I just hope she doesn't
send him spiraling down

into some kind
of depression.

(pants)

So Seattle still
loves the Walkman, huh?

He's probably listening
to Thriller.

So, do you still
want to go

to that warehouse
party tonight?

Doors open at 11:00

so we should probably
be there at 1:00.

Look, I wish I could, Jen.

But I really have to sleep.

Don't worry.

.
We'll have a few cocktails
and you'll feel a lot better

Forget it.

I am not drinking again tonight.

So, just drink beer.

I mean...

Alice is still at her
grandparents', right?

Listen, sweetie,
why don't you go out by yourself tonight?

Oh, come on, Maribelle.
Have some fun.

Don't do that.

Do what, Maribelle?

Knock it off.
I'm serious.

You used to be so fun.

But ever since you got
the condo and the SUV

it's like you're all
401K or whatever.

I'm exactly the same person I've always been.

Oh, yeah?

I checked your car radio.

It's not stuck on
that classic rock station.

For your information

classic rock is both classic,
and it rocks.

What happened to you?

I'm old.

(doorbell ringing)

Daphne, would you
get that?

Hello.

Sorry I'm late.
I...

What's going on?

Uh-oh.

Steady.

Your father and brother
needed a little help.

The oven's all clean.

I just have a bit
of ironing left.

I won't be a minute.

And don't forget, I've drawn
baths for both of you.

Oh, Daphne, that wasn't
necessary...
Oh, no
You shouldn't have...

Are you proud
of yourselves?

We didn't ask her
to do anything.

She offered.

Then why is no one
looking me in the eye?

I'm sorry, Niles.

You're right.
Maybe we took advantage.

.
MARTIN
: Absolutely

We were way out of line.

It won't happen again.

What are you doing?

What?

You're going to leave
that there?

I'll clean
it later.

Well, that's
the whole problem.

If you would just
clean as you go

things wouldn't
pile up.

You wouldn't need
Daphne's help.

I guess.

No, it's true.

Look at this.

Look how easy, you see?

s.
Small, consistent efforts, that's all it take

Just like managing
one's cuticles.

You know, there's a bowl of potato salad

lying out completely uncovered.

It's getting tangy.

The plastic wrap is right here.

We really should help him.

(under breath):
Are you nuts?

.
He's about to make us dinner

He is not.

20 bucks says he is.

Forget money.
Let's wager something real

All right.

If I get him to make dinner

you do all the chores.

If I don't, I'll do them.

I'm ready, Niles.

Excellent.
Because tonight I am taking you

to the finest bistro in
the Pacific Northwest.

You're on.

Take your sweet time,

why don't you?
Hey, guys!

Are you sure you don't
want to stick around?

I was just gonna open
a can of spaghetti.

But you have
sea bass in the fridge.

Oh, it'll probably last
another day.

Oh, I think you should
cook it tonight.

Fine.

I'll nuke it with some ketchup

That's ridiculous.

You can't use your
turkey recipe on fish.

What am I supposed to do?

Well, just take
one clove of garlic,

two tablespoons of finely minced

fresh ginger...

Oh, for heaven's sake,
I'll do it myself.

I suppose I'll lay the table

No, no, Daphne.

.
You've done enough for today

That's Frasier's job.

FRASIER:
And so for our final hour today

I'd like to focus my attention on
first-time callers only.

Hey.

We've been hearing from a lot
Hey!

of familiar voices this week,
and I'd like to shake it up.

I looked for you at
that warehouse party last night,

but I didn't see you.
Oh!

I was in the old meat locker.

Oh, I didn't look in there

Sorry we didn't hook up.

Did I leave my sunglasses in here?

Oh, yes, you did.

So, I'm taking off.

I had a really cool time with you.

I hope you make your break from here soon.

Good news.

I just got off the phone
with my travel agent.

She got me this great fare
to Ho Chi Minh City

and she said it would be no problem to get you
on the same flight.

This is going to be awesome.

I've never seen Asia before.

I've see the band,
of course...

but not... you know.

Oh, well, about that, Kenny-- um...

I already booked a flight.

Oh, well, maybe I can get
on your flight.

Well, see, the thing is
is I, um... I travel solo.

Oh.
It's kind of

a rule I have. I...

Oh, no, plea

I totally get where you're
coming from.

Solo's the way to go.

My high school French club

went to Montreal one time.

Nightmare.

Well, you should still go.

You deserve to have some fun.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, uh, maybe I'll
run into you over there.

I'd like that.

FRASIER:
Our next caller is Stu
from Madrona.

Go ahead, Stu, I'm listening
.

STU:
All right, it's like this.
..

I've been dating my girlfriend for six years,

and she keeps bugging me
about moving in.

But I know as soon as she does,
my freedom is gone.

Everything's got to be
in the hamper.

I can't eat over the sink.

Can't just go out whenever my buddies call.

That's a lot to give up.

Okay, Stu, how old are you?

The calendar says 47,
but I feel 18, right?

Forty-seven?!

Now, Roz...

I have a suggestion for you, Stu.

Grow the hell up!

What?

I-I-I'm sorry?
I mean

I'm 38, and I feel 38.

Now I know we're all supposed to act

like perpetual teenagers these days.

But you know what?
I like acting my age.

I like being a mom.

I like having a career.

And I like balancing
my checkbook.

When did it become such a bad thing
to be an adult?

Dr. Crane, hello?

Look, don't get me wrong.

I had a great time
when I was younger. I did.

But after a while,
that way of life

just seems... empty.

And you have to go deeper

and commit to things
that really matter to you.

Believe me, when you do that

you'll find out how amazing and rich life can be.

Hey, I know that voice.

You were at Zoo the other night.

You told me you were 29.

Thanks for your call, Stu.

Let's go to traffic.

.
I'm sorry, Frasier

I guess I shouldn't have
unloaded on that guy.

I've just been thinking
a lot about age lately.

That's all right, Roz.

I thought your speech
was courageous.

And who knows?
Even if it went right past Stu,

maybe it reached somebody else

out there on the Frasier Crane
Radio Network.

REPORTER:
...which is backed up
all the way to Northgate.

1-5 is stop and go, as usual.

This time because
of a jackknifed...

(radio clicks off)

♪♪ Hey, baby,
I hear the blues a-calling ♪
♪

♪♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, my ♪♪

♪♪ And maybe I seem
a bit confused ♪♪

♪♪ Well, maybe,
but I got you pegged ♪♪

(laughs)

♪♪ But I don'’’t know what to do
♪♪

♪♪ With those tossed salad
s and scrambled eggs ♪♪

♪♪ They'’’re calling again
. ♪♪

Good night!