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Chuckling I love you
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Of course Betty. I love you, too
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And I know I made you wait a long time
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Yeah, a long
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Well tonight that all ends do you mean?
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Chuck
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Tonight is the night I'm going to give myself to you
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I'm ready to take things to the next level
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Are you sure we're gonna do it? Yeah?
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All right
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They tied me you're walking so
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I bought ads
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Yeah
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But
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Now that my virginity is behind us, I think I'm ready to take things to the next level
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What do you mean I thought we just did
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Come on Joe don't be coy. You know what I mean you know
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Seriously
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Yeah, I love you chuck, and I know you love me
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Wow I
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know
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that fucking rule
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but but what
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well
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It's just now that the ass. Axe is in the bag. I think we're ready to take things to the next level
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The level is there
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I rush things
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Same shake is the night before you crazy. I can have the same chick coming around two nights in a row
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Ordering on a relationship with this. I like to play the field. Let's see this is exactly what I don't understand
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How does he do it? I mean he just goes out and gets it done, man. That's how he does it?
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I mean you can't sit around wait for Santa to bring you some ass under the tree dude. How psyched you for first period
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Mr.. Matthew sex ed class man the teacher total freak can't wait to go in there and talk about all the apps. We've slammed
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It's gonna be awesome, bro
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No doubt bro. I
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Can't take this class why not
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Why not? Did you not just hear that conversation? Yeah weird is how much ass we've slam Debra?
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Exactly lonely the class is just gonna be with a bunch of pervs. Who are open about their sex life and frankly
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I don't know. What's that not bad looking
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Ninja legs work, and I'm not gonna have sex with just anybody because I know that's what you two are thinking right now. Sorry
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Hey Betty
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Okay, we got a lot to do a little time to cover it I can feel the sexuality brewing in here already
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What do you mean oh no, you've been trying to tap that since the fifth grade, this is an opportunity
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You're in a class with her go talk to her, huh?
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What would I say listen all a girl wants is for you to be yourself so do that yourself or just?
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Shake your dick at her. You know whatever feels right?
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Hey Stacy it looks like we're gonna be having sex together
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Edie class sex ed class together, I'm sorry
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Yeah
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My name is mr.. Matthews
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First off. There's no teachers in here just a bunch of people exploring their sexuality
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Right so once you enter through that door you're coming through a no-bullshit zone. That's right. I said bullshit uh
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We're keepin it real in here people now listen up
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Teen sexuality is a living breathing thing and we're gonna explore that concept from every different angle
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We can get our greasy little hands on and you're gonna share. I'm gonna share right now hell
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I've had sex with koi fish there. I said it
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Sometimes you find me make it down the bottom of a fun ball pool at your local fast food restaurants true story
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okay, let's do a little role-playing exercise in here I
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Want each and every one of you to decide that you're gonna have sex with someone for the very first time
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Okay partner up people Stacey needs a partner seize the day, bro. Yeah screw the day seize the booty
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That's a good union there. I like that I saw that when I came in
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Mr.. Matthews yes, I don't think there's any girls left
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Like human sexuality isn't always between man and woman stand up Doug
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Class I'd like to introduce you to our first gay couple Mike and Doug
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Just because they'll be experimenting with man-on-man lovemaking and a assorted homo buggery don't treat them any differently
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Mike I think you're gonna be on bottom, okay
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I'll be the stay-at-home dad
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So Matt what advice do you have for young people about sex advice?
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Guys be responsible you know always
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wear a rubber
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Of course it feels way better to do it with that one
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Unless of course it's a Vietnamese Hooker
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And I think you just take your chances as long as there's the naked chick somewhere in the room
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You are not gay. If you have an STD do not tell your partner. It is a lose-lose situation
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Fellas be nice to your partner in the morning if she needs a ride home
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Point her to the nearest bus stop before you go back to sleep
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Be a good guy
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Today one out of three young adults has a sexually transmitted disease
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And letting the former hookup know that you got genital cooties can be pretty hard
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Now there's an easier way
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At STD e cards you can share the bad news with one click
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Pick from such messages as you gave me your heart. I gave you, gonorrhea or
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Thanks for the blowjob. Sorry about the herpes
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It's from Kevin
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You hooked up with this weekend. Yeah, what to say?
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Roses are red violets are blue. I gave you syphilis when we screwed at the zoo
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That was easy STD e cards, we're bad news travels fast
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Hi Karla oh
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Hey
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Hey listen, um I know it's kind of last-minute
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But um. I want to know if you maybe want to go to the prom with me tonight. Oh
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I'm sorry Justin someone already asked me three weeks ago
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Okay, that's sorry. I have fun, though
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Using these since the Eisenhower administration can I help you?
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She's a real beaut isn't she
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Right I
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Wish we'd met years ago so much
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The one thing I can't that's all much love
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I always want to celebrate candy, too
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Justin I haven't seen you around much lately
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I'm busy
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Well problem wasn't the same without you
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Really, yeah, I was wondering if we could go out sometime me and you dinner maybe Saturday night
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And just when I thought the night could not get any worse
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He pukes all over. My dress was a horrible
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She's still beautiful, huh?
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Thanks
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I didn't I had vomit all over me so
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What no that's ridiculous, I'm gonna play poker with some of the guys don't worry, I'm right
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Hello
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Hello
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Who is this
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Anyone there
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Look don't be a pussy. Just tell me who it is
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Stop calling me another prank cop
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I
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Know what you're up to and it's gotta stop leave Karla alone, it's over. Did you stir?
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Where were you this morning, I think you're gonna watch me practice oh
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Sorry, I forgot
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Why are you coming to my game on Friday night? Actually? I'm going to lens party with Stacy
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You know what there's someone else who actually cares about me goodbye Carla
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So what's the kinkiest thing you've ever done in bed
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The two of us licked whipped cream off each other once
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That was pretty what about you? I don't know
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Little Shawn what my parents are watching
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Does they have to be the kinkiest thing done together no it could have been on your own Wow
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One time I had sex with this black guy while his best friend
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Did me in the ass and then I stuck to both their dicks at the same time?
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That's great
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We shoot we cram it all in that's what she said yeah, you guys know what I'm talking about that's the next station
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All right, we're all good in a circle. This is great. Okay?
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Let's talk about
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penises, that's
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right everyone I
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Said the big P word okay, now the most common question what's normal?
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Simple answer there's no such thing penises come in a variety of different shapes and sizes
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As you can tell from the molds cast from actual penises we have here
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Got them all different from all over the globe now the next one. We'd like to call the fireplug
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It's short and stocky, but boy when you get it excited
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Like a sawed-off shotgun, I tell ya
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This one's called the tadpole. Why is it called the tadpole? It's it's got a larger head tapering down into a smaller shaft
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we like to call this guy the
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mushroom cloud
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Now this is an interesting one looks small, but you know how to use it they tell you it's a quite a powerful weapon
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It's called the the torpedo, man. You know what I mean with a meat cone?
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It's got a tiny head tapering into a large shaft nice
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And that guy around that's a good one we like to call that one the roto-rooter next we have what's called
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The super-huge that's right
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We also like to call this the great American challenge ladies. You're gonna. Love the cervix stimulation on that guy
149
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Okay this next one's interesting all right. I found this one online
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It's the doubleheader ladies and gentlemen it is out there believe me and that around okay everyone pass them around
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Look, I'm up and down now breathe
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Okay
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Gentlemen the penis is in your hands that is your penis
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Ladies put your penises down and partner up with the person closest to you
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It looks like we got a small one huh yeah
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Okay, now. I'm gonna hand out some condoms for each group there. You go everyone get a condom now ladies and gentlemen
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I'm gonna have you put the condom on the man's penis together
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Okay the reason I'm having you put these condoms on together is because contraception is both partners responsibility
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Micah looks like you got a little room there. That's because Mike you have a very small penis
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Okay everyone let's talk about fetishes
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Now a fetish is
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Basically an obsession with leather black leather and bits mouth bits who likes a ball in their mouth
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Wait no would be even hotter what
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This you want me to wear a hat oh yeah, baby that shit is so hot okay, yeah
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Wait you don't else would be so smoking what?
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This big mole what it's hot trust me for me fine
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Now can we do it
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Boy what the hell what I didn't want to say this but you clearly want to have sex with Abraham Lincoln, that's crazy
169
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Is it look around you Ronnie you're obsessed with him. He was a great man. What's wrong with paying tribute
170
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Paying tribute is one thing trying to turn your girlfriend into him so you can get a hard-on is another
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I'm out of here. Call me when you get some therapy
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So
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That's my last beard
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Into the past
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Ladies you do not I repeat you do not have to have sex with a guy for him to like you
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But it helps
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Want to remain a virgin until you're married to words, but?
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Sex look if you like to be choked it's okay everyone likes a little just don't go too far
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Blue is a warning sign
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So what's the kinkiest thing either one of you has ever done in bed?
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I'm at the club one night
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And I meet this little white chick right so next to no I get in the air, man
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And she lets me take her back to my spot, and she did me and him at the same time
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Big O 12-pound pussy, maybe we should go there from there was a lot of acrobatics in that motherfucker
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You know you know what she was small, but she did a lot of big things, baby. Hey Kim
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Women spend most of their time stretching their breasts adding a new ring, Oh each year, they'd probably like it money when I stretch
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It's Saturday night you guys are getting stiff. He's watching PBS. You're pathetic John rrj whatever not
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stupid
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He's right. You know. I mean, this is pathetic. What else are we gonna?
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Do sorry we can actually get laid just watch this no less be coming with the way to build an artificial woman from your computer
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Then program her to have sex with this
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Like really
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I guess that means you don't they don't have to mean I come give mama taste of that sweet chocolate
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Humidor and I don't know
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Come out come out wherever you are
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This time you're
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Barry Leon
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Press ENTER now
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I
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Know you're probably too young to be thinking about marriage
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But take it from me if you find somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with there's nothing better
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Thanks, sweetie, but before you get married
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Make sure you explore your options dyes and bone as many chicks as you can
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Well ladies be sure you take the long way doing dick Todd - I
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begged at least 50 guys before I met this asshole sitting next to me here I
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had a group of girls - it was no accident that I invited the
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electrician and a plumber on the same day
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Guys listen up if you're planning on having a threesome you better do it before you get married
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But trust me there's no better
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sensation
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Then - we were making out while riding your Johnson
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I almost forgot booked yourself a ticket - I sleeping with your fiance's best man
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And his brother
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Interception very hard
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Great
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Oh
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Can you pass the mashed potatoes, please sure man, thank you
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Everything is delicious dear
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Did you pick up your condoms for the poem yeah, they gave mouth for free. It's cool
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Honey is your vagina ringing
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Sounded like him
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Okay, we've learned a lot here class dismissed
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I'll see you all tomorrow now remember your permission slip for the field trip
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Listen stays down. Why can I talk to you for a second?
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Later yes
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So Mike how are things going with you and Stacey oh?
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Great you know we're really good friends. We've hey
228
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Don't bullshit a bullshitter, bro. I know you're into Stacey you want to know rap about it
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Yeah, I mean, I like Stacey a lot, I mean, what do I do how do I?
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Tell her how I feel. That's a good question you don't I?
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Don't know
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You see Mike a girl like Stacey is way out of your league yeah
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What do you mean?
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I mean, I thought you were all about breaking the rules and there are no rules and we're all equal
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00:37:28,970 --> 00:37:33,409
I am just not when it comes to you and Stacey you see Mike a
236
00:37:33,930 --> 00:37:37,339
Girl like Stacey to get her boy
237
00:37:37,340 --> 00:37:42,019
You need like a truckload of cough syrup and a vat of malt liquor
238
00:37:43,260 --> 00:37:48,229
Really mellow or out you know what I mean, but not knock her out. That's a whole different class altogether
239
00:37:48,900 --> 00:37:55,519
What Mike you need to go after something more attainable? You need to find somebody who's a lot less?
240
00:37:56,700 --> 00:37:58,700
pretty sure
241
00:37:58,740 --> 00:38:05,180
You might have to go up a few weight classes a little more than you're uncomfortable with probably buck fifty two bills
242
00:38:05,220 --> 00:38:12,139
I'm not sure somebody hasn't seen the light of day in quite a long time acne scars fangs for teeth
243
00:38:12,450 --> 00:38:15,889
Bad hygiene retarded if you will but hey
244
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:22,669
Sometimes keeping it real hurts little bro, but in the end we're all stronger people
245
00:38:23,610 --> 00:38:28,039
Now go out there and get an ugly chick or a whore good luck
246
00:38:28,809 --> 00:38:30,809
Good talk
247
00:38:32,770 --> 00:38:35,189
Now a quick word from our sponsor
248
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257
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Go to pussy Troy calm come on guys like a pussy trap
258
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Relax everybody farts, this is huge across the far barrier really
259
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:54,480
I
260
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,000
Don't feel comfortable with you
261
00:41:01,710 --> 00:41:04,339
Damn now that's just nasty
262
00:41:23,020 --> 00:41:24,160
I
263
00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:25,810
was like
264
00:41:25,810 --> 00:41:32,549
Totally in 11th grade and I had sex with Carl little it is the Winnebago
265
00:41:36,850 --> 00:41:41,880
Wait I thought I was your first person in December maybe I
266
00:41:46,930 --> 00:41:48,930
Love you
267
00:41:54,340 --> 00:41:56,340
Brad
268
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,880
Brad Taylor
269
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:04,920
I'm in sweats need love, too
270
00:42:19,380 --> 00:42:26,119
Hey, man, she was riding you like a pogo stick wait for it
271
00:42:34,650 --> 00:42:41,180
Let me introduce you to the screamer Griffon this chick is amazing, which is why I invited her over here today. Yes
272
00:42:41,839 --> 00:42:43,760
We're gonna be right here to make sure you go through with it
273
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,189
That's a little sister's baby monitor hooked up in your room
274
00:42:46,319 --> 00:42:53,058
We don't have the other air right here, so we can listen in no not happening this not happening. No. Yes. No yes
275
00:42:53,220 --> 00:42:55,220
No, there's two things
276
00:42:55,260 --> 00:42:57,260
up too late
277
00:43:03,359 --> 00:43:05,359
Mike
278
00:43:36,099 --> 00:43:38,609
Why don't I just grab some earplugs real quick
279
00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:45,720
No man is it broke
280
00:43:49,510 --> 00:43:51,510
What are you waiting for
281
00:43:51,730 --> 00:43:54,839
I'm sorry. I can't do this
282
00:43:55,690 --> 00:44:02,879
What there's this girl in my high school, and I really like her great? I didn't have a back-up plan now. I've got a
283
00:44:03,430 --> 00:44:07,320
Go fuck a trucker or cab driver or a homeless guy
284
00:44:08,349 --> 00:44:11,338
Would you possibly think that maybe you could go through the back door?
285
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,429
Just so you know you're giving up a sure thing
286
00:44:15,220 --> 00:44:17,280
Your friend said that you were desperate for it
287
00:44:19,900 --> 00:44:21,900
Last chance
288
00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:34,020
Honest I know we did he better not be pushing out. He's definitely pushing out. Let's go see what's going on with the dumbass
289
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:38,760
Are we back in action
290
00:46:02,350 --> 00:46:06,120
You know I would tell you to go fuck yourself, but it sounds like you just did
291
00:46:19,870 --> 00:46:27,569
Come on what you know I made an abstinence pledge, I promised myself I'd wait until a short was with the right guy I
292
00:46:29,020 --> 00:46:33,599
Thought I was the right guy you might be I'm just not sure
293
00:46:35,119 --> 00:46:37,119
But I like you
294
00:46:53,400 --> 00:47:00,650
Girlfriend don't have that's right. You're not gonna turn
295
00:47:31,860 --> 00:47:33,860
Otherwise that back
296
00:47:48,450 --> 00:47:50,600
At least you should be able to do with this for
297
00:47:55,850 --> 00:48:02,350
But I want you to know that I really do care about you, and I've known that since the first time I saw you and
298
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:53,680
I'm never gonna get laid I'm such a loser
299
00:48:55,310 --> 00:49:02,620
I'm gonna go to a chat room. Did you know I mean, I met her in teamloli voice look you're I'm team and I'm lonely
300
00:49:04,490 --> 00:49:09,040
Anyways, it's really there's not a lot of girls in that chat room. It's mostly older guys
301
00:49:09,470 --> 00:49:11,679
They interested in photography see that's kind of creepy
302
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:14,800
It is at first, but you know
303
00:49:15,350 --> 00:49:18,429
Once I made it clear that I was at emo in the market for a teen girl
304
00:49:18,950 --> 00:49:24,939
Ladies we're just coming out of the Woodworks, and now I have a girlfriend her name is Randy isn't that a guy's name
305
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:27,050
it's both I
306
00:49:27,050 --> 00:49:29,259
I mean she says she's a little time
307
00:49:29,870 --> 00:49:31,870
She send you a picture no
308
00:49:32,900 --> 00:49:37,330
But I sent her tons of mine both of them are naked. It's awesome
309
00:49:38,210 --> 00:49:43,239
Well, maybe I'll give it a try and they maybe if you're lucky someday. You'll have a rainy just like me
310
00:49:55,579 --> 00:49:57,758
Sweetiepie except
311
00:50:06,499 --> 00:50:08,499
Sex chat
312
00:50:09,559 --> 00:50:11,480
Sure
313
00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:17,319
Okay, I'm Justin a tight mini dress walking down a dark alley. I'm completely alone and vulnerable
314
00:50:17,900 --> 00:50:22,539
Then you appear out of the shadows you wear all black a ski mask over your head
315
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:25,719
You approach me menacingly and say
316
00:50:29,269 --> 00:50:31,269
Hey, what's up?
317
00:50:33,859 --> 00:50:35,569
Was that wrong
318
00:50:35,569 --> 00:50:37,569
menacing okay
319
00:50:38,269 --> 00:50:43,479
What are you doing in my alley? Oh? No you stay away from me lost
320
00:50:44,180 --> 00:50:49,629
Alone and half naked, but I have mace don't try and take it manage of me
321
00:50:50,660 --> 00:50:53,559
Okay, sorry no problem. Do you need cab money?
322
00:50:54,619 --> 00:50:56,828
Be aggressive. I want it
323
00:50:59,190 --> 00:51:04,970
Ah-ha-ho weird I'm afraid. I don't care about nice prepare to be attacked
324
00:51:06,329 --> 00:51:08,329
sexually
325
00:51:08,430 --> 00:51:11,480
That was amazing we should meet
326
00:51:12,060 --> 00:51:18,799
Come to 49 Covington Avenue apartment 8 tomorrow night at 10:00 wear a mask take me against my will
327
00:51:19,290 --> 00:51:21,290
Don't break character. Oh
328
00:51:27,420 --> 00:51:34,220
Hello dear oh hey Jane doing anything special tonight, nope just baking cookies for my niece
329
00:52:13,910 --> 00:52:15,910
Did somebody order the rape
330
00:52:21,890 --> 00:52:26,109
You can run, but you can't hide from forced sexual intercourse
331
00:52:32,180 --> 00:52:39,700
Well yo be careful you're gonna hurt me I mean you you won't be so feisty when I'm when I'm violating you sexually
332
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:32,640
Did somebody order the rape
333
00:53:43,810 --> 00:53:45,340
But oh
334
00:53:45,340 --> 00:53:52,019
Hey Betty. How's it going tom? Oh? It's just been kind of a crazy week. It's a long story
335
00:53:53,110 --> 00:53:57,539
You know fed. I've been thinking. We've been friends for a really long time. Yeah
336
00:53:59,110 --> 00:54:02,669
Maybe it's time we take things to the next level next level
337
00:54:13,980 --> 00:54:19,339
Hey, baby, this is for you, I love you. You're the only one for me. I hope
338
00:56:11,539 --> 00:56:13,539
I'm
339
00:56:22,630 --> 00:56:24,630
In your mouth, babe
340
00:56:29,859 --> 00:56:31,859
Just like blueberry Oh
341
00:56:37,579 --> 00:56:39,579
God
342
00:56:49,369 --> 00:56:51,369
Hi
343
00:56:54,469 --> 00:56:56,469
He look like he just suggests
344
00:56:58,369 --> 00:57:00,369
I
345
00:57:01,279 --> 00:57:03,429
Had a really bad dream
346
00:57:07,549 --> 00:57:09,879
Okay, I'm here
347
00:57:15,720 --> 00:57:19,050
I had an amazing son
348
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:28,109
I'm sorry give a toilet. Oh yeah, it's right over there
349
00:57:45,300 --> 00:57:52,969
Who the hell are you why don't you ask your dick, what is going on here relax Len
350
00:57:57,840 --> 00:57:59,840
Jenny mattress Dutch diarrhea
351
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:02,300
I'll air that out
352
00:58:02,300 --> 00:58:07,550
All right what I need right now is for you to leave my house my parents are coming home this afternoon
353
00:58:07,550 --> 00:58:14,749
And I need to start cleaning up those weren't your parents we met last night. My parents are in Cancun yeah Yeah, right?
354
00:58:16,650 --> 00:58:21,469
If you say your parents aren't here then we'll just believe that your parents weren't here
355
00:58:21,510 --> 00:58:24,499
Maybe it was your aunt and uncle I don't care
356
00:58:24,650 --> 00:58:30,769
I came here to fuck and get fucked and you know I could fuck the last night fucked good
357
00:58:30,870 --> 00:58:36,890
Okay, very funny the UH the jokes over this has been a delightful little prank that you guys are played on me
358
00:58:36,890 --> 00:58:42,349
But now it's time for you to respect my wishes and please get the hell out of my house
359
00:58:43,740 --> 00:58:44,820
Yeah
360
00:58:44,820 --> 00:58:50,029
You're right the whole thing was a prank after we invited you for a threesome
361
00:58:50,060 --> 00:58:54,949
I got blueberry yogurt, and I smeared it all over my face and your boss
362
00:58:56,580 --> 00:59:01,880
Yeah, all a joke please just get the hell out
363
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:05,720
Fine whatever
364
00:59:07,020 --> 00:59:09,229
Please just just leave
365
00:59:28,010 --> 00:59:30,010
Maybe
366
00:59:56,180 --> 00:59:59,939
Swear just just
367
01:00:07,599 --> 01:00:12,059
Hello so you guys are home early
368
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:16,830
Did you just get in
369
01:00:20,590 --> 01:00:22,590
How was your second honeymoon
370
01:00:29,890 --> 01:00:31,890
Get the hell out of our sight
371
01:00:36,580 --> 01:00:38,580
Okay
372
01:00:54,580 --> 01:00:56,580
Just a minute
373
01:01:01,210 --> 01:01:03,689
What do you been doing a little spackling working the ceiling oh
374
01:01:04,300 --> 01:01:08,639
God dad no this. It's not your mother, and I discussed it with you limb well
375
01:01:09,490 --> 01:01:11,140
Look at her
376
01:01:11,140 --> 01:01:15,810
You don't understand son. I have one question for you, and I'm only gonna ask it once
377
01:01:17,500 --> 01:01:20,820
Have you been sneaking behind our backs and being on a hidden-camera show
378
01:01:22,240 --> 01:01:24,240
What look over there?
379
01:01:54,849 --> 01:01:58,349
Wait wait wait, so I didn't fuck you and you didn't fuck me fuck
380
01:02:21,430 --> 01:02:23,549
Definitely my boyfriend's head he's amazing
381
01:02:25,150 --> 01:02:26,410
I
382
01:02:26,410 --> 01:02:28,410
have to say
383
01:02:28,469 --> 01:02:30,469
your boyfriend Ted also
384
01:02:31,109 --> 01:02:32,999
When did you sleep with Ted?
385
01:02:32,999 --> 01:02:35,149
Yeah, I have to say Ted for me to
386
01:02:36,569 --> 01:02:42,798
Say when Charlotte and I both separatin yeah, that was a great night. I'd say Ted, too
387
01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:56,019
Fellas personal advice from me to you get in there and shave that shit up
388
01:02:56,570 --> 01:03:01,629
Visually it will give yourself an extra two three inches alcohol and sex don't mix
389
01:03:02,510 --> 01:03:04,510
cocaine and sex
390
01:03:04,670 --> 01:03:11,980
If you don't have a rubber don't panic whatever you do watch this right Halla. Sec, babe. Let me grab my Jimmy hat
391
01:03:13,670 --> 01:03:20,830
And then pantomime, oh, it's so small the rubber
392
01:03:22,550 --> 01:03:27,399
And then you lock and load she'll never know
393
01:03:47,470 --> 01:03:49,470
I mean, I'm a kitchen insider you
394
01:03:52,490 --> 01:03:57,639
Know what it can wait amen faking orgasms lately what?
395
01:04:01,520 --> 01:04:03,520
Are you okay
396
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:04,970
Yeah
397
01:04:04,970 --> 01:04:06,970
Why is that guys are tall?
398
01:04:07,550 --> 01:04:09,729
great, yeah, yeah, okay, just
399
01:04:10,760 --> 01:04:12,740
Try go clean up before you
400
01:04:12,740 --> 01:04:14,740
See you outside, okay?
401
01:04:38,480 --> 01:04:44,140
Guys got can someone help me get off the bus hello
402
01:04:46,730 --> 01:04:50,919
Hello there you are everybody's waiting for you
403
01:05:33,770 --> 01:05:38,889
Great job girls Nancy nice looking very good sucking -
404
01:05:39,950 --> 01:05:41,900
Okay, he's here
405
01:05:41,900 --> 01:05:46,089
It's about time listen. I know it's your first day, but you got some stuff to shoot all right
406
01:05:46,970 --> 01:05:48,140
listen
407
01:05:48,140 --> 01:05:55,420
The way I view this film, it's a spiritual successor to rebel without a cause only with a lot more fucking
408
01:05:57,860 --> 01:06:02,650
Right yes, I think there's been a really looking forward to working with you
409
01:06:03,710 --> 01:06:07,779
Jackie and I are especially curious. How you got the name of Jay gun dope cock oh
410
01:06:07,790 --> 01:06:12,490
I can't wait to wrap my hands around the biggest penis in the biz
411
01:06:13,190 --> 01:06:20,139
Penis I haven't heard that word for a long time. I usually just call it dinner mm-hmm. Okay, everybody on set
412
01:06:22,820 --> 01:06:26,049
Told you they wouldn't have any beard oh, man, how was I supposed to know oh?
413
01:06:26,690 --> 01:06:33,970
Man sweet car you just help these girls fix their car and still repay you you get to bang?
414
01:06:34,970 --> 01:06:42,819
Nancy right here she's gonna start by blowing it then you're gonna do some backdoor stuff to jacking bro check this out after that
415
01:06:43,550 --> 01:06:45,260
Just feel free to improvise
416
01:06:45,260 --> 01:06:47,260
All right
417
01:06:49,089 --> 01:06:51,089
Hey, you're gonna need a fluffer
418
01:06:53,770 --> 01:06:57,749
All right, let's see that Jack condo cock
419
01:07:00,760 --> 01:07:07,109
Actually, thank you so much for fixing your call how can we ever repay you?
420
01:07:25,180 --> 01:07:29,849
Cut hey sorry I'm late, I'm jogging the cock
421
01:07:41,110 --> 01:07:47,910
Yeah, I'm not jug under cock I'm just a small-town hick
422
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:51,869
an 18 year old virgin
423
01:07:53,050 --> 01:07:56,099
With a super tiny dick
424
01:07:57,850 --> 01:08:04,110
Kid I've seen this once before a boy who wished he was Angley
425
01:08:06,220 --> 01:08:12,899
Found he could frame a shot, that's right that little boy was me
426
01:08:15,370 --> 01:08:17,760
It wasn't my first choice
427
01:08:29,690 --> 01:08:34,600
We're jocks Adelie incidentally making
428
01:08:39,339 --> 01:08:43,289
Making boy, not me I do it cuz I fucking like
429
01:09:04,630 --> 01:09:08,310
We don't want you to get it screwed, let us be
430
01:09:23,710 --> 01:09:25,710
Hurry I won't stay wet
431
01:09:46,609 --> 01:09:48,609
Yeah
432
01:09:53,930 --> 01:09:56,740
Wow thanks for being so cool about everything
433
01:09:57,560 --> 01:10:01,209
I feel like I should tell you though. I don't really think this is the life for me
434
01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:03,880
You got balls kid
435
01:10:04,430 --> 01:10:12,220
Very large balls you show that kind of confidence in real life. You're gonna be fun just fine
436
01:10:13,730 --> 01:10:16,390
All right, let's reset back to one
437
01:10:27,530 --> 01:10:30,909
Dude what happened in there after we laughs Kenny all those chicks
438
01:10:53,210 --> 01:10:55,039
Stacy
439
01:10:55,039 --> 01:11:00,249
I'm not sexually experienced, and I'm not some famous porn star named jogando Kaka
440
01:11:02,119 --> 01:11:05,109
I'm just some regular kid who just wants to ask out a very
441
01:11:06,650 --> 01:11:08,650
Very beautiful girl
442
01:11:10,690 --> 01:11:12,690
Don't cloth has ten
443
01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:37,550
Fellas you gotta be respectful of your ladies whatever you do don't go around your boys telling them all the gruesome details
444
01:11:38,070 --> 01:11:40,429
But me on the other hand I'm married with two kids
445
01:11:40,850 --> 01:11:46,939
I like all dirty stuff this website will go directly to me and only me send me all pictures
446
01:11:47,490 --> 01:11:55,309
Streaming videos letters as bizarre as you want. I'll read them all and masturbate all night. Thank you. I'm Matthew Lillard
447
01:12:17,700 --> 01:12:23,359
Ladies you do not I repeat you do not need to have sex with a guy for him to like you
448
01:12:24,450 --> 01:12:27,889
but it definitely helps in a if that's too much a
449
01:12:28,530 --> 01:12:30,530
blowjob works every time
450
01:12:32,100 --> 01:12:36,200
Fuck I have two daughters this is terrible, okay, right?
451
01:12:38,010 --> 01:12:41,360
All right, let's see that fire hose
452
01:12:50,119 --> 01:12:53,169
All right, let's see that time
453
01:12:55,309 --> 01:13:02,409
Do I interact with blue ball, you're mine. Let me see that long slow wrinkled stick Oh Ronnie
454
01:13:10,540 --> 01:13:17,280
You've got balls kids big large oversized brass balls. What's the fun?
455
01:13:22,060 --> 01:13:23,440
No
456
01:13:23,440 --> 01:13:25,590
Sex is not just a physical commitment
457
01:13:25,830 --> 01:13:27,450
It's an emotional commitment
458
01:13:27,450 --> 01:13:34,740
And if you're not ready to handle that then you should use an escort service on behalf of all hot women everywhere
459
01:13:34,950 --> 01:13:38,970
I'd like to set the record straight, so all you shall owe this reputable man
460
01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:43,499
Who think that by dropping a bunch of money on us? We'll get you laid to begin with
461
01:13:44,140 --> 01:13:47,039
Why do we have to spread our legs after three dates?
462
01:13:47,770 --> 01:13:51,209
That is the grating disrespectful and just plain wrong
463
01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:57,240
Dating is about romance opening the car door for me surprising me with flowers
464
01:13:58,120 --> 01:14:00,010
writing a poem
465
01:14:00,010 --> 01:14:02,010
Letting me suck your cock
466
01:14:39,829 --> 01:14:44,439
Bobby nobody on the sexual just because you're in glee club
467
01:15:02,010 --> 01:15:03,419
Shit
468
01:15:03,419 --> 01:15:04,949
porno titties
469
01:15:04,949 --> 01:15:07,038
Do you think I learnt this accent for my house?
470
01:15:08,010 --> 01:15:14,329
Why the hell do you think I'm going up with you? Here's a head? I can't go down on myself sasquatch
471
01:15:44,679 --> 01:15:51,868
My advice about sex be safe always use protection unless of course. She's a Vietnamese hooker then oh
472
01:15:52,690 --> 01:15:54,690
Wow, didn't I?
473
01:15:54,880 --> 01:15:56,880
Take your chances
474
01:15:56,920 --> 01:15:59,159
So remember the hot woman's credo
475
01:15:59,889 --> 01:16:01,889
Put out or get up
476
01:16:03,280 --> 01:16:05,260
Themselves
477
01:16:05,260 --> 01:16:09,719
Do you think I like going out with you? Hell? No I'd rather be at home
478
01:16:10,360 --> 01:16:15,690
Using my pocket pistol on my doll then wasting three dates trying to get late Mike Jacobs
479
01:16:19,719 --> 01:16:21,719
You have a small cup anyway
480
01:16:24,070 --> 01:16:26,070
Mr.. Matthews
481
01:16:27,610 --> 01:16:33,119
Dig into it well. I'm not afraid to share I exposed myself. I collect pubic hair from previous relationships
482
01:16:34,929 --> 01:16:36,929
Look at me, I'm crazy
483
01:16:37,360 --> 01:16:38,560
Okay
484
01:16:38,560 --> 01:16:40,179
Yeah
485
01:16:40,179 --> 01:16:46,529
Hey, come on partner. Not just a sex ed teacher. Also a dude flush and ball
486
01:16:47,770 --> 01:16:51,060
Somebody who's got special needs blind girls
487
01:16:51,580 --> 01:16:53,139
violently desperate
488
01:16:53,139 --> 01:16:57,809
Criminy a hunchback somebody swinging a bell and their south of France glass
489
01:16:57,810 --> 01:17:01,529
I probably bad skin crooked teeth, hos
490
01:17:19,270 --> 01:17:23,099
Unless you find a way to program an otter
491
01:17:24,400 --> 01:17:25,599
unless
492
01:17:25,599 --> 01:17:27,869
you can make a way to front it jeez
493
01:17:28,690 --> 01:17:30,190
unless we
494
01:17:30,190 --> 01:17:33,540
Find a way to make an artificial woman off your computer
495
01:18:44,450 --> 01:18:46,780
Hey, baby, this is for you
496
01:18:57,020 --> 01:19:03,609
You have to be adventurous when it comes to sex carpe diem seize the moment as long as there's a naked woman somewhere in the
497
01:19:03,610 --> 01:19:08,949
Room it's not gay, and it's definitely not cheating if you do it with the chick that turns out to be a dude
498
01:19:09,560 --> 01:19:12,459
Especially if he/she is really fucking hot
499
01:19:13,400 --> 01:19:17,259
And it's definitely not cheating if the chick turns out to be a dude
500
01:19:17,900 --> 01:19:19,900
Who's really hot with?
501
01:19:31,670 --> 01:19:33,670
Looks like an ass meal
502
01:19:35,630 --> 01:19:40,810
We got ourselves a full meal I hope you brought your appetite we got a big one
503
01:19:41,630 --> 01:19:43,960
Nance I hope you brought your appetite
504
01:19:44,810 --> 01:19:47,049
Got yourself a man-sized meal
505
01:19:48,500 --> 01:19:52,569
Ladies you're gonna get the chance and I hope you both both brought your appetites
506
01:19:53,210 --> 01:19:55,210
Because this one's packing a full meal
507
01:19:55,969 --> 01:19:58,329
Don't be nervous kid go in there knocking bitch
508
01:20:03,110 --> 01:20:09,429
It's okay to choke your partner out, it's okay to be choked out just don't go to the INXS place
509
01:20:43,130 --> 01:20:49,690
This one is called the G snail example or the Napoleon I like to call it because it's mean short and angry
510
01:20:51,710 --> 01:20:56,169
You know a sawed-off shotgun looks like this is what it is or a can of corn?
511
01:21:06,170 --> 01:21:11,740
It's also called the purple mushroom or the lord Vader this was from a botched tranny job, but
512
01:21:12,710 --> 01:21:15,370
Telling you, it's they happen. They're real
513
01:21:19,730 --> 01:21:25,899
Let's pass them all around get a feel for them grab the shaft pick up the balls do the whole nine yards
514
01:21:36,080 --> 01:21:42,009
Kick the tires and check the traps if you know what I mean this one is called the tag for the meat if you will
515
01:22:13,869 --> 01:22:20,999
And if you can't afford an escort service find a crack whore it's useful on a pinch
516
01:22:25,179 --> 01:22:26,440
School
517
01:22:26,440 --> 01:22:30,540
You could find a crack whore and just hit her with a rock
518
01:22:31,719 --> 01:22:33,719
Just get a crack whore
519
01:22:34,030 --> 01:22:36,030
somewhere
520
01:22:36,130 --> 01:22:39,599
No rocks just suck to a dick for a doll
521
01:22:42,909 --> 01:22:48,839
A DS. I think you want to take them a long road to dick tonic -
522
01:22:50,290 --> 01:22:56,489
So again my name is Matthew Lillard, and thank you for spending a little time with me. I hope my advice has helped
523
01:23:02,970 --> 01:23:05,690
My darling the stars they shine for you
524
01:23:08,040 --> 01:23:11,119
My daughter's Twitter for you
525
01:23:13,020 --> 01:23:15,020
My darling my heart skips a beat
526
01:23:20,850 --> 01:23:24,650
Down to this morning sky, I pray and dream that I
527
01:23:50,190 --> 01:23:55,909
Fuck squeeze my tits all big and bouncy then spunk all over my body
528
01:23:55,910 --> 01:24:00,980
I want to be your but hot greasy slut Grisi slut
529
01:24:01,410 --> 01:24:06,290
beg inform all poor I can't get enough can't get
530
01:24:06,900 --> 01:24:08,900
No
531
01:24:09,750 --> 01:24:12,529
When I leave your pool you stop
532
01:24:14,370 --> 01:24:19,370
I won't stop then Oh, No I'll become your
533
01:24:43,210 --> 01:24:45,210
Hello sue
534
01:24:47,800 --> 01:24:51,960
Yeah, I'm in I'm in 1864 let me move to a window
535
01:24:53,800 --> 01:24:58,529
That's better Ronny up are you gonna be okay?
536
01:24:59,830 --> 01:25:01,820
Yeah
537
01:25:01,820 --> 01:25:04,070
The first time I think I am
49138
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