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>> Announcer: TONIGHT, ON
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"LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS" --
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CECILY STRONG,
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AUTHOR OF "THE CAPTAIN," FORMER
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MLB ALL STAR, DAVID WRIGHT,
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WRITER AND DIRECTOR OF
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"KAJILLIONAIRE," MIRANDA JULY,
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FEATURING THE 8G BAND WITH
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JESSICA BERDEAUX.
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AND NOW, SETH MEYERS.
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>> Seth: GOOD EVENING.
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I'M SETH MEYERS.
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THIS IS "LATE NIGHT."
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HOW'S EVERYBODY DOING TONIGHT?
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GREAT, LET'S GET TO THE NEWS.
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PRESIDENT TRUMP SAID YESTERDAY
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THAT HE WON TUESDAY'S
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PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE AGAINST
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FORMER VICE PRESIDENT,
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JOE BIDEN, BUT TAKE IT WITH A
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GRAIN OF SALT BECAUSE HE ALSO
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SAID HE WON "THE VOICE."
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FOX NEWS ANCHOR AND PRESIDENTIAL
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DEBATE MODERATOR, CHRIS WALLACE,
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SAID IN AN INTERVIEW YESTERDAY
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THAT HE WAS SURPRISED BY THE
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CHAOTIC NATURE OF TUESDAY'S
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CONTEST, ADDING NO ONE COULD
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HAVE PREDICTED, QUOTE, "THIS WAS
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GOING TO BE THE PRESIDENT'S
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STRATEGY.
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NOT JUST FOR THE BEGINNING OF
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THE DEBATE BUT THE ENTIRE
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DEBATE."
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"I HAD AN INKLING," SAID
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MARCO RUBIO, TED CRUZ, JEB BUSH,
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CARLY FIORIAN, HILLARY CLINTON,
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ALL OF HIS KIDS, ALL OF HIS
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WIVES, HIS KINDERGARTEN TEACHER,
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SOME GUY HE RAN INTO ON THE
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STREET IN THE '80s AND THE
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AMERICAN PUBLIC AT LARGE.
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WHEN ASKED YESTERDAY IF HE
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WELCOMES SUPPORT FROM WHITE
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SUPREMACISTS, PRESIDENT TRUMP
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SAYS THAT HE WANTS, QUOTE, "LAW
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AND ORDER."
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OKAY, BUT THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER
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TO THAT QUESTION.
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THAT'S LIKE IF I ASKED YOU, "IS
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THIS CHICKEN POISON," AND THEN
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YOU SAID, "THE MASHED POTATOES
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ARE DELICIOUS."
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AIDES TO PRESIDENT TRUMP
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REPORTEDLY SAID THEY WANTED HIM
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TO BE AGGRESSIVE IN TUESDAY'S
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PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE, BUT NOT ACT
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LIKE JASON VOORHEES FROM THE
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"FRIDAY THE 13th" MOVIES.
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OH COME ON, HE'S NOTHING LIKE
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JASON VOORHEES.
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JASON HAS THE DECENCY TO WEAR A
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MASK.
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SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT JASON,
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AND THERE'S PLENTY TO CRITICIZE
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HIM FOR.
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THE MAN WEARS A MASK.
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SIX FEET, HE'S A LITTLE BIT
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WORSE ON.
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HE HAS VIOLATED THAT MULTIPLE
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TIMES.
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REAL SPACE HOG, JASON.
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ACCORDING TO A NEW REPORT
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PUBLISHED IN "THE ATLANTIC,"
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PRESIDENT TRUMP MOCKS HIS
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CHRISTIAN SUPPORTERS IN PRIVATE.
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WOW, WHAT A SCOOP.
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I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST IN PUBLIC.
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POPE FRANCIS REFUSED TO MEET
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WITH SECRETARY OF STATE,
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MIKE POMPEO THIS WEEK DURING
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POMPEO'S VISIT IN ROME, DUE TO
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THE PROXIMITY TO THE UPCOMING
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PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.
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BESIDES, THE BIDEN CAMPAIGN GOT
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TO HIM FIRST.
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A FLORIDA MAN FILED A
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$1.1 MILLION LAWSUIT AGAINST
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McDONALD'S AND CLAIMS HE BROKE A
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TOOTH WHILE BITING IN TO A
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CHICKEN McNUGGET, AND THIS IS
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WEIRD.
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IT WAS THE CHICKEN'S TOOTH.
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WALLY LAUGHED SO MUCH HE SHOOK
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THE CARD A LITTLE BIT.
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>> SORRY.
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>> Seth: COME ON, WALLY.
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I GOT TO LAND THESE GUYS.
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THE ROCK BAND ACDC ANNOUNCED
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YESTERDAY, THE GROUP WILL
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REUNITE TO MAKE A NEW ALBUM
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TITLED "POWER UP."
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THE ALBUM WILL REUNITE ALL FOUR
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OF THEIR ORIGINAL CHORDS.
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THAT IS THE DADDEST ROCK JOKE
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FROM THE DADDEST ROCK WRITER ON
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OUR STAFF, BRYAN DONALDSON.
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I WISH YOU COULD SEE HIM.
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HE LOOKS LIKE A GUY WHO WOULD
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WRITE THAT JOKE ABOUT ACDC.
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THROW HIM UP.
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THROW HIM IN THE KEY, BASE.
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GERMAN AUTHORITIES ANNOUNCED
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TODAY THAT CLOTHING RETAILER H&M
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WILL PAY $41 MILLION IN FINES
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FOR COLLECTING PRIVATE
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INFORMATION ABOUT ITS EMPLOYEES.
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AND LIKE EVERYTHING AT H&M,
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THAT'S TOO SMALL.
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AND FINALLY, IN AN EFFORT TO
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OFFER A HEALTHY ALTERNATIVE TO
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CANDY, SUN-MAID IS OFFERING
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RAISIN SNACKS IN HALLOWEEN
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THEMED GLOW IN THE DARK
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PACKAGING.
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WHICH MEANS YOU'LL BE ABLE TO
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SEE IT EVEN DOWN IN THE DARK
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BOTTOM OF THE TRASH CAN.
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AND THAT WAS THE MONOLOGUE,
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EVERYBODY.
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WE HAVE GOT A FANTASTIC SHOW FOR
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YOU TONIGHT.
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YOU KNOW HER EMMY NOMINATED WORK
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ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE,"
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CECILY STRONG WILL BE HERE TO
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TELL US ABOUT THIS WEEKEND'S
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SEASON PREMIERE.
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THEY HAVEN'T BEEN LIVE IN THIS
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BUILDING SINCE MARCH.
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I CANNOT WAIT TO HEAR NOW IT'S
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GOING.
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HE IS A SEVEN-TIME, SEVEN-TIME,
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ALL-STAR WHO PLAYED THIRD BASE
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FOR THE NEW YORK METS,
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DAVID WRIGHT WILL BE HERE TO
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TALK ABOUT HIS MEMOIR, "THE
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CAPTAIN."
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NOW, THERE ARE ONLY ABOUT TEN
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PEOPLE IN THE STUDIO AND ONE OF
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THEM IS A METS FAN WHO'S LOSING
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HIS MIND OVER THIS.
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SO YOU MAY HEAR SOME STEVE
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SQUEALS.
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[ LAUGHTER ]
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SHE IS AN ARTIST, ACTOR, WRITER,
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AND FILMMAKER, DEFINITELY THE
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COOLEST PERSON WHO'S GOING TO BE
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ON ANY TELEVISION TONIGHT.
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MIRANDA JULY, EXCUSE ME, WILL
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JOIN US.
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AND I MAY BE SQUEALING ABOUT
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THAT.
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I MEAN, I'M SO EXCITED, I CAN'T
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EVEN SAY THE NAME RIGHT.
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BUT BEFORE WE GET TO ALL THAT,
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THE PRESIDENT TRIED TO PAINT HIS
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OPPONENT AS DRUGGED UP, AND
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SENILE AND IT DIDN'T WORK.
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BUT HE'S STILL MOVING FORWARD
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WITH PLAN "B," LYING ABOUT VOTER
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FRAUD AND TRYING TO STEAL THE
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ELECTION.
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FOR MORE ON THIS, IT'S TIME FOR
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"A CLOSER LOOK."
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♪♪♪
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>> Seth: DONALD TRUMP WANTS TO
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CREATE THE IMPRESSION THAT HE'S
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A PERMANENT FIXTURE IN OUR
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LIVES, THAT THERE'S NOTHING WE
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CAN DO TO GET RID OF HIM.
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IT'S WHAT HE TRIED TO DO IN
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NEW YORK BY PUTTING HIS NAME ON
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EVERY BUILDING IN BIG GOLD
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LETTERS, AND ON HIGHWAY SIGNS,
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AND PARKING HIS DUMB PLANE AT
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LAGUARDIA.
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EVEN THE PIGEONS ARE STARTING TO
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SOUND LIKE HIM.
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"COO, COO, THIS IS A COUP."
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TRUMP WANTS US TO THINK THAT
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HE'LL ALWAYS BE HERE AND THERE'S
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NO POINT IN VOTING AGAINST HIM
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BECAUSE WE CAN NEVER GET RID OF
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HIM.
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THAT'S WHY HE WOULDN'T SHUT UP
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AT TUESDAY'S DEBATE.
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THAT'S WHY HE COMMANDEERS THE
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NATIONAL SPOTLIGHT ON A DAILY
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BASIS BY SAYING SOMETHING INSANE
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AND FORCING US ALL TO THINK
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ABOUT HIM.
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OR WHY LAST NIGHT, AT ANOTHER
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ONE OF HIS ALL YOU CAN BREATHE
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COVID BUFFETS, HE ONCE AGAIN
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SUGGESTED THAT HE MIGHT STAY IN
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OFFICE FOR ANOTHER 16 YEARS.
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>> WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO
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WHEN
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IN EIGHT, 12, MAYBE 16 YEARS, I
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SAY LET'S HANG IT UP.
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LET'S HANG IT UP.
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[ LAUGHTER ]
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16 MORE YEARS.
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>> Seth: CRUSHED HIS TIMETABLES,
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DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GOING TO BE
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ABLE TO DO THAT.
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BUT ANOTHER 16 YEARS?
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THE LAST FOUR HAVE ALREADY FELT
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LIKE 16.
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16 MORE WOULD FEEL LIKE 64.
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I ASKED OUR GRAPHICS TEAM TO
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COMPUTER GENERATE AN IMAGE OF
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WHAT I WOULD LOOK LIKE AFTER
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ANOTHER 16 YEARS OF TRUMP, AND
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THIS IS WHAT THEY CAME UP WITH.
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WELL, AT LEAST I STILL HAVE THE
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SHOW.
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BUT DESPITE WHAT TRUMP SAYS, IT
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IS VERY MUCH WITHIN OUR POWER TO
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GET RID OF HIM AND END THIS.
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THAT'S WHAT TUESDAY'S DEBATE WAS
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ABOUT AND THAT'S WHY TRUMP AND
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HIS ALLIES HAVE BEEN LASHING OUT
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AT EVERYONE, INCLUDING THE
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MODERATOR, FOX NEWS HOST
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CHRIS WALLACE AFTER THE NEGATIVE
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REACTION TO TRUMP'S GROTESQUE
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PERFORMANCE.
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AT LAST NIGHT'S RALLY, TRUMP
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COMPLAINED THAT WALLACE HAD THE
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TEMERITY TO INTERRUPT HIM.
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>> I SAID, "SLEEPY JOE, NAME ONE
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LAW ENFORCEMENT GROUP THAT
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SUPPORTS YOU."
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AND THEN CHRIS WALLACE SAID,
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"DON'T DO THAT."
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CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY --
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I WAS DEBATING TWO PEOPLE LAST
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NIGHT.
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YOU CAN RIOT, THAT'S OKAY.
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ARSON'S OKAY, BUT CHALLENGING
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SLEEPY JOE IS TOTALLY OFF
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LIMITS.
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SO DISAPPOINTED IN FOX.
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>> THE COMMISSION ON
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PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES IS
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CONSIDERING CHANGES FOR THE NEXT
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DEBATE AND I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY
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TO THEM, BEST OF LUCK.
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YOU KNOW THE FORMAT'S NOT THE
261
00:06:41,023 --> 00:06:43,011
PROBLEM, RIGHT?
262
00:06:41,023 --> 00:06:43,011
IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S HARD TO
263
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:46,008
FOLLOW THE RULES.
264
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:46,008
I MEAN, SHE DID IT.
265
00:06:46,008 --> 00:06:48,005
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
266
00:06:46,008 --> 00:06:48,005
CUT HIS MIC?
267
00:06:48,005 --> 00:06:50,004
AT THIS POINT, IF YOU TOOK HIS
268
00:06:48,005 --> 00:06:50,004
MIC AWAY, HE'D PROBABLY JUST
269
00:06:50,004 --> 00:06:57,007
GROW A NEW ONE, TERMINATOR
270
00:06:50,004 --> 00:06:57,007
STYLE.
271
00:06:57,007 --> 00:06:59,016
THAT TURNED OUT A LOT BETTER
272
00:06:57,007 --> 00:06:59,016
THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD.
273
00:06:59,016 --> 00:07:03,002
YOU DID IT AGAIN, MANNY!
274
00:06:59,016 --> 00:07:03,002
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
275
00:07:03,002 --> 00:07:05,014
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO GET
276
00:07:03,002 --> 00:07:05,014
TRUMP TO BEHAVE AT DEBATES.
277
00:07:05,014 --> 00:07:07,020
AND IF NO ONE ELSE WILL SAY IT,
278
00:07:05,014 --> 00:07:07,020
I WILL.
279
00:07:07,020 --> 00:07:10,008
ANY TIME HE BREAKS THE RULES, A
280
00:07:07,020 --> 00:07:10,008
HOLOGRAM OF FRED TRUMP SHOULD
281
00:07:10,008 --> 00:07:12,011
APPEAR AND SAY, "WHAT PART OF
282
00:07:10,008 --> 00:07:12,011
WAIT YOUR TURN DON'T YOU
283
00:07:12,011 --> 00:07:15,012
UNDERSTAND, DONALD?"
284
00:07:12,011 --> 00:07:15,012
"I'M SORRY, PAPA.
285
00:07:15,012 --> 00:07:18,018
I'M JUST IN SO OVER MY HEAD AND
286
00:07:15,012 --> 00:07:18,018
YOU'RE NOT HERE TO BAIL ME OUT."
287
00:07:18,018 --> 00:07:20,022
"AND I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING
288
00:07:18,018 --> 00:07:20,022
ELSE YOU SO CALLED SON OF MINE,
289
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:23,023
PICTURE PERFECT.
290
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:23,023
I PAINT A PERFECT PICTURE.
291
00:07:23,023 --> 00:07:25,002
BOMB THE HOOCHIES WITH
292
00:07:23,023 --> 00:07:25,002
PRECISION.
293
00:07:25,002 --> 00:07:27,010
MY INTENTION'S TO GET RICHER."
294
00:07:25,002 --> 00:07:27,010
>> Seth: IS THE HOLOGRAM OF
295
00:07:27,010 --> 00:07:29,010
FRED TRUMP SINGING THE LYRICS TO
296
00:07:27,010 --> 00:07:29,010
"AIN'T NOTHING BUT A GANGSTER
297
00:07:29,010 --> 00:07:31,027
PARTY?"
298
00:07:29,010 --> 00:07:31,027
OH, [ BLEEP ], YEAH.
299
00:07:31,027 --> 00:07:35,011
THIS IS THE SAME SOFTWARE FROM
300
00:07:31,027 --> 00:07:35,011
THE COACHELLA TUPAC HOLOGRAM.
301
00:07:35,011 --> 00:07:40,023
I GUESS WE FORGOT TO WIPE IT.
302
00:07:35,011 --> 00:07:40,023
THAT IS A REAL LONG WALK.
303
00:07:40,023 --> 00:07:42,007
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
304
00:07:40,023 --> 00:07:42,007
BUT I THINK WE HAD FUN.
305
00:07:42,007 --> 00:07:45,012
SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO ENJOY THE
306
00:07:42,007 --> 00:07:45,012
VIEW, EVERYBODY.
307
00:07:45,012 --> 00:07:46,027
ALSO, ANY CHANGES YOU MAKE,
308
00:07:45,012 --> 00:07:46,027
TRUMP'S JUST GONNA START
309
00:07:46,027 --> 00:07:49,016
WHINING.
310
00:07:46,027 --> 00:07:49,016
HE NEVER STOPS WHINING.
311
00:07:49,016 --> 00:07:50,026
TRUMP'S ALLIES ARE ALL LIKE HIM,
312
00:07:49,016 --> 00:07:50,026
PETULANT CHILDREN WHO WHINE AND
313
00:07:50,026 --> 00:07:53,000
MOAN UNLESS YOU LET THEM RANT
314
00:07:50,026 --> 00:07:53,000
UNINTERRUPTED FOR 90 MINUTES
315
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,024
STRAIGHT.
316
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,024
THEY'RE JUST BUMMED BECAUSE
317
00:07:56,024 --> 00:07:59,013
THEIR GENIUS STRATEGY OF
318
00:07:56,024 --> 00:07:59,013
CLAIMING JOE BIDEN IS SENILE
319
00:07:59,013 --> 00:08:01,023
BACKFIRED WHEN IT TURNED OUT
320
00:07:59,013 --> 00:08:01,023
TRUMP'S THE ONE WHOSE BRAIN IS
321
00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:05,010
MOSTLY ROOM TEMPERATURE
322
00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:05,010
VELVEETA.
323
00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:08,006
TRUMP AND HIS CHEERLEADERS ON
324
00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:08,006
FOX SPENT WEEKS, WEEKS INSISTING
325
00:08:08,006 --> 00:08:10,020
HIS OPPONENT WAS A DODDERING OLD
326
00:08:08,006 --> 00:08:10,020
MAN WITH DEMENTIA WHO NEEDED
327
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:13,010
DRUGS AND AN EAR PIECE TO GET
328
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:13,010
THROUGH A DEBATE.
329
00:08:13,010 --> 00:08:15,014
AND THEN THE DEBATE HAPPENED AND
330
00:08:13,010 --> 00:08:15,014
IT TURNED OUT THE ONLY CANDIDATE
331
00:08:15,014 --> 00:08:17,013
WHO SOUNDED LIKE HE MIXED THE
332
00:08:15,014 --> 00:08:17,013
DOG'S VALIUM WITH JOSE CUERVO
333
00:08:17,013 --> 00:08:20,019
WAS TRUMP.
334
00:08:17,013 --> 00:08:20,019
AND BY THE WAY, WHEN YOU'RE
335
00:08:20,019 --> 00:08:24,017
LAGGING WITH SENIORS IN SWING
336
00:08:20,019 --> 00:08:24,017
STATES DUE TO A RAGING PANDEMIC
337
00:08:24,017 --> 00:08:27,013
YOU FAILED TO CONTAIN, I'M NOT
338
00:08:24,017 --> 00:08:27,013
SURE CALLING YOUR OPPONENT A
339
00:08:27,013 --> 00:08:29,014
BRAIN DEAD GEEZER IS THE AWESOME
340
00:08:27,013 --> 00:08:29,014
CAMPAIGN STRATEGY YOU THINK IT
341
00:08:29,014 --> 00:08:32,025
IS.
342
00:08:29,014 --> 00:08:32,025
"ONCE YOU'RE 77, YOU'RE
343
00:08:32,025 --> 00:08:37,006
BASICALLY DEAD.
344
00:08:32,025 --> 00:08:37,006
ANYWAY, THE SENIORS LOVE ME."
345
00:08:37,006 --> 00:08:39,009
IN CASE YOU NEED REMINDING,
346
00:08:37,006 --> 00:08:39,009
TRUMP SPENT WEEKS CHALLENGING
347
00:08:39,009 --> 00:08:42,011
BIDEN TO A DRUG TEST AND THEN AS
348
00:08:39,009 --> 00:08:42,011
PROOF FOR HIS PSYCHOTIC CLAIM,
349
00:08:42,011 --> 00:08:46,003
CITED THE INTERNET.
350
00:08:42,011 --> 00:08:46,003
>> DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT
351
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:50,005
JOE BIDEN WILL BE ON ANY TYPE OF
352
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:50,005
PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUG AHEAD
353
00:08:50,005 --> 00:08:52,008
OF THE DEBATES OR ARE YOU JUST
354
00:08:50,005 --> 00:08:52,008
JOKING?
355
00:08:52,008 --> 00:08:54,003
>> NO, I'M NOT JOKING.
356
00:08:52,008 --> 00:08:54,003
I MEAN, I'M WILLING TO TAKE A
357
00:08:54,003 --> 00:08:57,000
DRUG TEST.
358
00:08:54,003 --> 00:08:57,000
I THINK HE SHOULD TOO.
359
00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:02,007
PEOPLE SAY HE WAS ON PERFORMANCE
360
00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:02,007
ENHANCING DRUGS.
361
00:09:02,007 --> 00:09:03,026
A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE SAID THAT.
362
00:09:02,007 --> 00:09:03,026
A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE WRITTEN
363
00:09:03,026 --> 00:09:06,026
THAT.
364
00:09:03,026 --> 00:09:06,026
>> WHO HAS SAID THAT?
365
00:09:06,026 --> 00:09:07,023
>> WELL, TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
366
00:09:06,026 --> 00:09:07,023
TAKE A LOOK.
367
00:09:07,023 --> 00:09:09,017
WHY DON'T YOU JUST CHECK --
368
00:09:07,023 --> 00:09:09,017
YOU CAN CHECK OUT THE INTERNET.
369
00:09:09,017 --> 00:09:12,017
YOU'LL SEE, PLENTY OF PEOPLE SAY
370
00:09:09,017 --> 00:09:12,017
IT.
371
00:09:12,017 --> 00:09:13,028
THEY GIVE HIM A BIG FAT SHOT IN
372
00:09:12,017 --> 00:09:13,028
THE ASS AND HE COMES OUT --
373
00:09:13,028 --> 00:09:18,029
[ LAUGHTER ]
374
00:09:13,028 --> 00:09:18,029
AND FOR TWO HOURS, HE'S BETTER
375
00:09:18,029 --> 00:09:22,007
THAN EVER BEFORE.
376
00:09:18,029 --> 00:09:22,007
>> Seth: SOUNDS LIKE TRUMP JUST
377
00:09:22,007 --> 00:09:23,008
SAW "AWAKENINGS" ON THE PLANE
378
00:09:22,007 --> 00:09:23,008
AND THOUGHT IT WAS A
379
00:09:23,008 --> 00:09:25,025
DOCUMENTARY.
380
00:09:23,008 --> 00:09:25,025
ALSO IT'S TELLING THAT'S HOW
381
00:09:25,025 --> 00:09:27,026
TRUMP THINKS YOU GET A SHOT OF
382
00:09:25,025 --> 00:09:27,026
ADDERALL BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT'S
383
00:09:27,026 --> 00:09:31,025
HOW HE GETS A SHOT OF ADDERALL.
384
00:09:27,026 --> 00:09:31,025
"JUST GIVE ME A LITTLE BOOTY
385
00:09:31,025 --> 00:09:34,023
BUMP DOC, STRAIGHT UP THE
386
00:09:31,025 --> 00:09:34,023
WAZOO."
387
00:09:34,023 --> 00:09:36,004
ALSO VERY TELLING WHEN THE
388
00:09:34,023 --> 00:09:36,004
PRESIDENT SITES A SOURCE THAT
389
00:09:36,004 --> 00:09:40,019
WOULDN'T BE ACCEPTED ON A HIGH
390
00:09:36,004 --> 00:09:40,019
SCHOOL TERM PAPER.
391
00:09:40,019 --> 00:09:42,005
AND IF BIDEN'S ON PERFORMANCE
392
00:09:40,019 --> 00:09:42,005
ENHANCING DRUG, LIKE WHAT'S YOUR
393
00:09:42,005 --> 00:09:45,025
EXPLANATION THEN?
394
00:09:42,005 --> 00:09:45,025
DECREASING DRUGS?
395
00:09:45,025 --> 00:09:47,003
YOU KNOW WHAT DRUG YOU SHOULD
396
00:09:45,025 --> 00:09:47,003
YOU TAKE?
397
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,023
YOU SHOULD TAKE WHATEVER DRUG
398
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,023
MAKES YOU SMILE NORMAL.
399
00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:51,018
I MEAN, LOOK AT HIS NECK
400
00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:51,018
STRAINS.
401
00:09:51,018 --> 00:09:53,016
THAT'S A FACE YOU MAKE WHEN YOU
402
00:09:51,018 --> 00:09:53,016
SLAM A GLASS OF O.J. RIGHT AFTER
403
00:09:53,016 --> 00:09:55,029
YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH.
404
00:09:53,016 --> 00:09:55,029
LOOKS LIKE HE TRIED TO POISON
405
00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:57,018
JAMES BOND'S DRINKS BUT
406
00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:57,018
ACCIDENTALLY MIXED UP THE
407
00:09:57,018 --> 00:10:00,010
GLASSES.
408
00:09:57,018 --> 00:10:00,010
"HERE YOU ARE JAMES, I BELIEVE I
409
00:10:00,010 --> 00:10:03,021
HAD THE MARTINI, SHAKEN, NOT
410
00:10:00,010 --> 00:10:03,021
STIRRED AND YOU HAD THE DIET
411
00:10:03,021 --> 00:10:07,007
COKE IN A CAN.
412
00:10:03,021 --> 00:10:07,007
OH, I SWITCHED THEM.
413
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:11,008
OH NO, I'M TIGHTENING UP.
414
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:11,008
CAN YOU GET MY EPIPEN, JAMES?
415
00:10:11,008 --> 00:10:13,027
DON'T BE A DICK, JAMES.
416
00:10:11,008 --> 00:10:13,027
JUST DO IT, JAMES.
417
00:10:13,027 --> 00:10:17,001
I NEED IT IN THE BUTT, JUST
418
00:10:13,027 --> 00:10:17,001
STRAIGHT UP THE WHAZOO.
419
00:10:17,001 --> 00:10:21,020
OH, THIS YOU WON'T DO, JAMES?
420
00:10:17,001 --> 00:10:21,020
AFTER EVERYTHING, THIS IS THE
421
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:25,019
LINE YOU WON'T CROSS?
422
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:25,019
OH, THE GREAT JAMES BOND."
423
00:10:25,019 --> 00:10:28,021
SO TRUMP CLAIMED HIS OPPONENT
424
00:10:25,019 --> 00:10:28,021
WAS -- WAS THE ONE WHO WAS
425
00:10:28,021 --> 00:10:31,014
SENILE AND NEEDED DRUGS TO GET
426
00:10:28,021 --> 00:10:31,014
THROUGH THE DEBATE AND THEN THE
427
00:10:31,014 --> 00:10:35,028
DEBATE HAPPENED AND TRUMP NOT
428
00:10:31,014 --> 00:10:35,028
ONLY COULDN'T KEEP HIS MOUTH
429
00:10:35,028 --> 00:10:37,014
SHUT, BUT WHEN IT WAS HIS TURN
430
00:10:35,028 --> 00:10:37,014
TO SPEAK, HE SAID STUFF LIKE
431
00:10:37,014 --> 00:10:39,019
THIS.
432
00:10:37,014 --> 00:10:39,019
>> INSULIN, IT'S GOING --
433
00:10:39,019 --> 00:10:43,000
IT WAS DESTROYING FAMILIES,
434
00:10:39,019 --> 00:10:43,000
DESTROYING PEOPLE BECAUSE I'M
435
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,003
GETTING IT FOR SO CHEAP, IT'S
436
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,003
LIKE WATER.
437
00:10:46,003 --> 00:10:47,016
YOU KNOW, IN EUROPE, THEY
438
00:10:46,003 --> 00:10:47,016
LIVE --
439
00:10:47,016 --> 00:10:50,005
THEY'RE FOREST CITIES.
440
00:10:47,016 --> 00:10:50,005
THEY'RE CALLED FOREST CITIES.
441
00:10:50,005 --> 00:10:52,013
THE CAR HAS GOTTEN SO EXPENSIVE
442
00:10:50,005 --> 00:10:52,013
BECAUSE THEY HAVE COMPUTERS ALL
443
00:10:52,013 --> 00:10:55,003
OVER THE PLACE.
444
00:10:52,013 --> 00:10:55,003
>> Seth: HE SOUNDS LIKE A FIRST
445
00:10:55,003 --> 00:10:57,028
TIME FILM STUDENT WRITING A
446
00:10:55,003 --> 00:10:57,028
SCI-FI SCRIPT IN A STARBUCKS.
447
00:10:57,028 --> 00:11:01,024
"OPEN ON, MOON BASE ALPHA
448
00:10:57,028 --> 00:11:01,024
NESTLED IN A FOREST CITY,
449
00:11:01,024 --> 00:11:04,016
INSULIN FLOWS LIKE WATER.
450
00:11:01,024 --> 00:11:04,016
THE SKY IS FILLED WITH FLYING
451
00:11:04,016 --> 00:11:06,016
CARS, WHICH ARE EXPENSIVE
452
00:11:04,016 --> 00:11:06,016
BECAUSE THEY HAVE COMPUTERS ALL
453
00:11:06,016 --> 00:11:10,013
OVER THE PLACE."
454
00:11:06,016 --> 00:11:10,013
MAYBE TRUMP SHOULD STICK TO
455
00:11:10,013 --> 00:11:11,024
INTERRUPTING.
456
00:11:10,013 --> 00:11:11,024
WHEN HE ACTUALLY HAS TO ANSWER A
457
00:11:11,024 --> 00:11:14,012
QUESTION, HE SOUNDS LIKE THE
458
00:11:11,024 --> 00:11:14,012
WORST MEMBER OF YOUR TABOO TEAM.
459
00:11:14,012 --> 00:11:17,028
"IT'S A MOVIE, THEY LIVE IN
460
00:11:14,012 --> 00:11:17,028
FOREST CITIES, COMPUTERS ALL
461
00:11:17,028 --> 00:11:20,017
OVER THE PLACE.
462
00:11:17,028 --> 00:11:20,017
[ BUZZER ]
463
00:11:20,017 --> 00:11:22,008
IT WAS STAR WARS', BUT IT'S NOT
464
00:11:20,017 --> 00:11:22,008
MY FAULT.
465
00:11:22,008 --> 00:11:24,023
I WASN'T ALLOWED TO SAY STAR OR
466
00:11:22,008 --> 00:11:24,023
WARS."
467
00:11:24,023 --> 00:11:27,005
EVEN'S TRUMP'S OWN CAMPAIGN
468
00:11:24,023 --> 00:11:27,005
ACKNOWLEDGED PRIVATELY THAT HE
469
00:11:27,005 --> 00:11:29,012
WENT FULL PSYCHO AT THE DEBATE.
470
00:11:27,005 --> 00:11:29,012
>> ONE PERSON WHO'S FAMILIAR
471
00:11:29,012 --> 00:11:32,006
WITH
472
00:11:29,012 --> 00:11:32,006
HIS DEBATE PREP, ANDERSON, SAID
473
00:11:32,006 --> 00:11:34,013
THEY PREPARED HIM TO BE
474
00:11:32,006 --> 00:11:34,013
AGGRESSIVE BUT NOT TO BE JASON
475
00:11:34,013 --> 00:11:37,019
FROM "FRIDAY THE 13th," AND THAT
476
00:11:34,013 --> 00:11:37,019
IS THE PERCEPTION OF HOW HIS
477
00:11:37,019 --> 00:11:41,000
PERFORMANCE WAS.
478
00:11:37,019 --> 00:11:41,000
>> Seth: YEAH.
479
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,004
I MEAN, EVEN JASON DIDN'T
480
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,004
INTERRUPT THAT MUCH UNLESS YOU
481
00:11:42,004 --> 00:11:45,000
WERE A SEXY TEEN TAKING A
482
00:11:42,004 --> 00:11:45,000
SHOWER.
483
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,029
JASON'S WHOLE THING WAS THAT HE
484
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,029
WAS INVULNERABLE AND HAD SUPER
485
00:11:46,029 --> 00:11:49,017
HUMAN STRENGTH.
486
00:11:46,029 --> 00:11:49,017
TRUMP ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE HE JUST
487
00:11:49,017 --> 00:11:51,022
CLIMBED A LADDER TO GET WHEREVER
488
00:11:49,017 --> 00:11:51,022
HE IS.
489
00:11:51,022 --> 00:11:54,029
LOOKED LIKE HE'D FALL OVER WITH
490
00:11:51,022 --> 00:11:54,029
ONE PUSH LIKE A JENGA TOWER.
491
00:11:54,029 --> 00:11:57,017
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE JASON
492
00:11:54,029 --> 00:11:57,017
AT A DEBATE ANY WAY?
493
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,012
THE PLOT OF "FRIDAY THE 13th"
494
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,012
WASN'T A MYSTICAL KILLER IN
495
00:11:59,012 --> 00:12:02,003
HOCKEY MASK SHOUTING DOWN HIS
496
00:11:59,012 --> 00:12:02,003
RIVALS WHILE LAYING OUT A VISION
497
00:12:02,003 --> 00:12:05,015
FOR THE FUTURE.
498
00:12:02,003 --> 00:12:05,015
IF ANYTHING, TRUMP WOULD BE LESS
499
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:09,029
SCARY IF HE WORE A JASON MASK.
500
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:09,029
OH, THANK GOD, IT WAS JUST
501
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:13,004
JASON.
502
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:13,004
BUT IT WAS IMPORTANT TO SEE ONE
503
00:12:13,004 --> 00:12:15,023
OF TRUMP'S DERANGED CONSPIRACY
504
00:12:13,004 --> 00:12:15,023
THEORIES DISPROVEN IN REAL TIME
505
00:12:15,023 --> 00:12:18,021
IN FRONT OF A NATIONAL
506
00:12:15,023 --> 00:12:18,021
TELEVISION AUDIENCE, BECAUSE
507
00:12:18,021 --> 00:12:22,027
HE'S COUNTING ON CONSPIRACY
508
00:12:18,021 --> 00:12:22,027
THEORIES TO STAY IN POWER.
509
00:12:22,027 --> 00:12:25,014
THAT'S WHY HE KEEPS REPEATING
510
00:12:22,027 --> 00:12:25,014
HIS COMPLETELY UNFOUNDED LIES
511
00:12:25,014 --> 00:12:27,000
ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MAIL-IN
512
00:12:25,014 --> 00:12:27,000
VOTING AS HE DID AGAIN AT THE
513
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,004
DEBATE.
514
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,004
>> AS FAR AS THE BALLOTS ARE
515
00:12:29,004 --> 00:12:32,016
CONCERNED, IT'S A DISASTER.
516
00:12:29,004 --> 00:12:32,016
IF YOU HAVE AN UNSOLICITED.
517
00:12:32,016 --> 00:12:34,028
THEY'RE SENDING MILLIONS OF
518
00:12:32,016 --> 00:12:34,028
BALLOTS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY.
519
00:12:34,028 --> 00:12:38,008
THERE'S FRAUD.
520
00:12:34,028 --> 00:12:38,008
THEY FOUND THEM IN CREEKS.
521
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,004
THEY FOUND SOME WITH THE NAME
522
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,004
TRUMP, JUST HAPPENED TO HAVE THE
523
00:12:40,004 --> 00:12:44,014
NAME TRUMP, JUST THE OTHER DAY
524
00:12:40,004 --> 00:12:44,014
IN A WASTE PAPER BASKET.
525
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:46,005
THEY HAVE MAILMEN WITH LOTS
526
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:46,005
OF --
527
00:12:46,005 --> 00:12:47,010
DID YOU SEE WHAT'S GOING ON?
528
00:12:46,005 --> 00:12:47,010
TAKE A LOOK AT WEST VIRGINIA,
529
00:12:47,010 --> 00:12:50,021
MAILMEN SELLING THE BALLOTS?
530
00:12:47,010 --> 00:12:50,021
THEY'RE BEING SOLD.
531
00:12:50,021 --> 00:12:53,010
THEY'RE BEING DUMPED IN RIVERS.
532
00:12:50,021 --> 00:12:53,010
>> Seth: THEY FOUND THEM IN
533
00:12:53,010 --> 00:12:55,007
CREEKS AND RIVERS?
534
00:12:53,010 --> 00:12:55,007
WHY IS HE TALKING LIKE A WILD
535
00:12:55,007 --> 00:12:57,018
EYED FRONTIERSMAN?
536
00:12:55,007 --> 00:12:57,018
"THERE'S BALLOTS DOWN IN THEM
537
00:12:57,018 --> 00:13:02,003
CREEKS AND RIVERS."
538
00:12:57,018 --> 00:13:02,003
THIS WILL SHOCK YOU.
539
00:13:02,003 --> 00:13:03,006
THAT'S COMPLETELY MADE UP.
540
00:13:02,003 --> 00:13:03,006
THERE'S NO KNOWN INSTANCE OF
541
00:13:03,006 --> 00:13:05,029
BALLOTS BEING DUMPED IN CREEKS
542
00:13:03,006 --> 00:13:05,029
OR RIVERS, BUT I'M BETTING TRUMP
543
00:13:05,029 --> 00:13:07,007
SAID THAT BECAUSE HE HAS
544
00:13:05,029 --> 00:13:07,007
DEFINETYLY DUMPED STUFF IN
545
00:13:07,007 --> 00:13:11,017
RIVERS.
546
00:13:07,007 --> 00:13:11,017
WHEN YOU'RE A NEW YORK REAL
547
00:13:11,017 --> 00:13:15,003
ESTATE GRIFTER WITH MOB TIES,
548
00:13:11,017 --> 00:13:15,003
THE EAST RIVER IS BASICALLY YOUR
549
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,006
FILING CABINET.
550
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,006
WE'RE NOT GOING TO SEE TRUMP'S
551
00:13:16,006 --> 00:13:18,008
TAX RETURNS UNTIL THEY'RE
552
00:13:16,006 --> 00:13:18,008
ACCIDENTALLY BROUGHT UP IN A
553
00:13:18,008 --> 00:13:22,002
FISHING NET.
554
00:13:18,008 --> 00:13:22,002
"NEVER SEEN ANYTHING UNDERVALUE
555
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:27,012
A GOLF COURSE QUITE LIKE THAT
556
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:27,012
BEFORE.
557
00:13:27,012 --> 00:13:32,028
WELL, JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE
558
00:13:27,012 --> 00:13:32,028
LIFE OF A MAINE FISHERMAN."
559
00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:34,012
THAT'S NOT EVEN THE MOST INSANE
560
00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:34,012
VERSION OF TRUMP'S MAIL BALLOT
561
00:13:34,012 --> 00:13:36,014
FEVER DREAM.
562
00:13:34,012 --> 00:13:36,014
RECENTLY, HE TOLD HIS SUPPORTERS
563
00:13:36,014 --> 00:13:39,013
TO WATCH OUT FOR BALLOTS BEING
564
00:13:36,014 --> 00:13:39,013
FLUSHED DOWN TOILETS.
565
00:13:39,013 --> 00:13:42,026
>> GET OUT THERE, AND VOTE AND
566
00:13:39,013 --> 00:13:42,026
KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN IF YOU SEE
567
00:13:42,026 --> 00:13:46,026
ANY SHENANIGANS, WHICH YOU
568
00:13:42,026 --> 00:13:46,026
PROBABLY WILL.
569
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:50,012
OKAY, IF YOU SEE PEOPLE DUMPING
570
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:50,012
THING, FLUSHING THINGS.
571
00:13:50,012 --> 00:13:52,010
>> Seth: SO YOU WANT YOUR
572
00:13:50,012 --> 00:13:52,010
SUPPORTERS TO WATCH OUT FOR
573
00:13:52,010 --> 00:13:54,014
BALLOTS BEING FLUSHED DOWN THE
574
00:13:52,010 --> 00:13:54,014
TOILET?
575
00:13:54,014 --> 00:13:55,019
FIRST OF ALL, THERE'S A GOOD
576
00:13:54,014 --> 00:13:55,019
CHANCE TRUMP THINKS THIS IS A
577
00:13:55,019 --> 00:13:57,006
VOTING BOOTH.
578
00:13:55,019 --> 00:13:57,006
"RIDICULOUS.
579
00:13:57,006 --> 00:13:59,014
I HAD TO GO ALL THE WAY TO A
580
00:13:57,006 --> 00:13:59,014
CONSTRUCTION SITE TO VOTE AND IT
581
00:13:59,014 --> 00:14:03,009
WAS NOT A PLEASANT EXPERIENCE."
582
00:13:59,014 --> 00:14:03,009
SECOND, TRUMP'S BOMBARDING US
583
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,028
WITH THESE LIES FOR TWO REASONS,
584
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,028
ONE TO DESTROY CONFIDENCE IN THE
585
00:14:05,028 --> 00:14:07,023
ELECTION AND MAKE US ALL THINK
586
00:14:05,028 --> 00:14:07,023
IT'S HOPELESS.
587
00:14:07,023 --> 00:14:10,001
AND TWO, TO SET THE STAGE FOR A
588
00:14:07,023 --> 00:14:10,001
SUPREME COURT BATTLE THAT WILL
589
00:14:10,001 --> 00:14:11,028
HAND HIM A VICTORY EVEN IF HE
590
00:14:10,001 --> 00:14:11,028
LOSES.
591
00:14:11,028 --> 00:14:14,017
HE'S REPEATEDLY SAID AS MUCH,
592
00:14:11,028 --> 00:14:14,017
INCLUDING IN TUESDAY'S DEBATE.
593
00:14:14,017 --> 00:14:15,028
>> ARE YOU COUNTING ON THE
594
00:14:14,017 --> 00:14:15,028
SUPREME COURT, INCLUDING A
595
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:20,001
JUSTICE BARRETT TO SETTLE ANY
596
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:20,001
DISPUTES?
597
00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:21,007
>> YEAH, I THINK I'M COUNTING ON
598
00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:21,007
THEM TO LOOK AT THE BALLOTS,
599
00:14:21,007 --> 00:14:24,023
DEFINITELY.
600
00:14:21,007 --> 00:14:24,023
WE NEED NINE JUSTICES.
601
00:14:24,023 --> 00:14:30,021
YOU NEED THAT.
602
00:14:24,023 --> 00:14:30,021
WITH THE UNSOLICITED MILLIONS OF
603
00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:33,006
BALLOTS THAT THEY'RE SENDING,
604
00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:33,006
IT'S A SCAM, IT'S A HOAX,
605
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:36,014
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
606
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:36,014
AND THE DEMOCRATS KNOW IT BETTER
607
00:14:36,014 --> 00:14:39,012
THAN ANYBODY ELSE.
608
00:14:36,014 --> 00:14:39,012
SO YOU'RE GOING TO NEED NINE
609
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:41,013
JUSTICES UP THERE.
610
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:41,013
I THINK IT'S GOING TO BE VERY
611
00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:43,015
IMPORTANT.
612
00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:43,015
PAPER BALLOTS ARE VERY SIMPLE.
613
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:46,001
WHETHER THEY COUNTERFEIT THEM,
614
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:46,001
FORGE THEM, DO WHATEVER YOU
615
00:14:46,001 --> 00:14:48,017
WANT.
616
00:14:46,001 --> 00:14:48,017
>> Seth: "COUNTERFEIT THEM,
617
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:50,028
FORGE THEM, FLUSH THEM, IN FACT,
618
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:50,028
I'VE BEEN GOING BATHROOM TO
619
00:14:50,028 --> 00:14:53,014
BATHROOM RECOVERING BALLOTS THAT
620
00:14:50,028 --> 00:14:53,014
WERE FLUSHED BY DEMOCRATS.
621
00:14:53,014 --> 00:14:56,016
THOSE WERE ALL VOTES FOR ME.
622
00:14:53,014 --> 00:14:56,016
I JUST CAN'T READ THEM NOW."
623
00:14:56,016 --> 00:14:58,005
AND REPUBLICANS ACROSS THE
624
00:14:56,016 --> 00:14:58,005
COUNTRY WITH THE HELP OF TRUMP'S
625
00:14:58,005 --> 00:15:00,012
CAMPAIGN ARE ALREADY SETTING THE
626
00:14:58,005 --> 00:15:00,012
STAGE FOR JUST SUCH A LEGAL
627
00:15:00,012 --> 00:15:03,029
BATTLE BY SUING TO DELAY
628
00:15:00,012 --> 00:15:03,029
COUNTING OR INVALIDATE BALLOTS
629
00:15:03,029 --> 00:15:05,026
IN SWING STATES LIKE WISCONSIN,
630
00:15:03,029 --> 00:15:05,026
PENNSYLVANIA, MICHIGAN AND
631
00:15:05,026 --> 00:15:09,009
TEXAS.
632
00:15:05,026 --> 00:15:09,009
TRUMP'S STRATEGY IS TWO PRONGED,
633
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:11,005
TO UNDERMINE THE ELECTION AND TO
634
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:11,005
CREATE THE IMPRESSION THAT HE'S
635
00:15:11,005 --> 00:15:12,022
INEVITABLE.
636
00:15:11,005 --> 00:15:12,022
WE CANNOT GET RID OF HIM, BUT WE
637
00:15:12,022 --> 00:15:15,007
CAN.
638
00:15:12,022 --> 00:15:15,007
IT'S IN OUR POWER TO END THIS.
639
00:15:15,007 --> 00:15:18,016
WE CAN REPUDIATE TRUMP AND THE
640
00:15:15,007 --> 00:15:18,016
GOP AND GIVE OUR DEMOCRACY A --
641
00:15:18,016 --> 00:15:21,005
>> BIG, FAT SHOT IN THE ASS.
642
00:15:18,016 --> 00:15:21,005
>> Seth: THIS HAS BEEN "A CLOSER
643
00:15:21,005 --> 00:15:26,008
LOOK."
644
00:15:21,005 --> 00:15:26,008
♪♪♪
645
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:29,014
TODAY'S OCTOBER 1st, WHICH IS
646
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:29,014
THE START OF SOBER OCTOBER.
647
00:15:29,014 --> 00:15:32,003
IF YOU'RE PLANNING ON TAKING THE
648
00:15:29,014 --> 00:15:32,003
SOBER OCTOBER PLEDGE BUT STILL
649
00:15:32,003 --> 00:15:34,019
WANT A GREAT BEER, TRY HEINEKEN
650
00:15:32,003 --> 00:15:34,019
00 WITH NO ALCOHOL AND JUST
651
00:15:34,019 --> 00:15:37,026
69 CALORIES.
652
00:15:34,019 --> 00:15:37,026
AND TO HELP CELEBRATE THE MONTH
653
00:15:37,026 --> 00:15:41,003
WE'RE GIVING A FREE CASE TO
654
00:15:37,026 --> 00:15:41,003
EVERYONE IN OUR AUDIENCE.
655
00:15:41,003 --> 00:15:42,005
OH, YEAH.
656
00:15:41,003 --> 00:15:42,005
RIGHT.
657
00:15:42,005 --> 00:15:43,023
OKAY.
658
00:15:42,005 --> 00:15:43,023
THAT WILL NOT TAKE VERY LONG TO
659
00:15:43,023 --> 00:15:45,029
PASS OUT.
660
00:15:43,023 --> 00:15:45,029
ALL RIGHT.
661
00:15:45,029 --> 00:15:48,009
WELL, INSTEAD, I WILL JUST TOAST
662
00:15:45,029 --> 00:15:48,009
TO YOU ALL AT HOME.
663
00:15:48,009 --> 00:15:49,013
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
664
00:15:48,009 --> 00:15:49,013
CECILY STRONG.
665
00:15:49,013 --> 00:16:22,017
♪♪♪
666
00:15:49,013 --> 00:16:22,017
>> Seth: ALL THIS WEEK, WE'VE
667
00:16:22,017 --> 00:16:24,015
HAD A GREAT DRUMMER BACK WITH
668
00:16:22,017 --> 00:16:24,015
US.
669
00:16:24,015 --> 00:16:27,024
SHE IS AN UP AND COMING TOURING
670
00:16:24,015 --> 00:16:27,024
AND SESSION DRUMMER FROM
671
00:16:27,024 --> 00:16:30,000
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, WHOSE VIDEOS
672
00:16:27,024 --> 00:16:30,000
HAVE GARNERED MILLIONS OF VIEWS.
673
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,021
AND BE SURE TO CHECK OUT HER
674
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,021
INSTAGRAM AT JBIRDSBEATS,
675
00:16:32,021 --> 00:16:35,006
JESSICA BURDEAUX IS HERE.
676
00:16:32,021 --> 00:16:35,006
THANK YOU FOR ANOTHER GREAT
677
00:16:35,006 --> 00:16:40,012
WEEK, JESSICA.
678
00:16:35,006 --> 00:16:40,012
YOU KNOW OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT
679
00:16:40,012 --> 00:16:42,007
FROM HER EMMY NOMINATED WORK ON
680
00:16:40,012 --> 00:16:42,007
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" WHICH
681
00:16:42,007 --> 00:16:46,024
RETURNS FOR ITS 46th SEASON THIS
682
00:16:42,007 --> 00:16:46,024
SATURDAY LIVE FROM STUDIO 8H
683
00:16:46,024 --> 00:16:49,024
WITH CHRIS ROCK AND MUSICAL
684
00:16:46,024 --> 00:16:49,024
GUEST MEGAN THEE STALLION.
685
00:16:49,024 --> 00:16:51,001
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW
686
00:16:49,024 --> 00:16:51,001
OUR VERY GOOD FRIEND,
687
00:16:51,001 --> 00:16:54,010
CECILY STRONG.
688
00:16:51,001 --> 00:16:54,010
HI, CES.
689
00:16:54,010 --> 00:16:57,011
>> HI.
690
00:16:54,010 --> 00:16:57,011
HI, SETH.
691
00:16:57,011 --> 00:16:58,015
>> Seth: IT'S SO NICE TO SEE
692
00:16:57,011 --> 00:16:58,015
YOU.
693
00:16:58,015 --> 00:17:00,014
AND I WANT TO START BY
694
00:16:58,015 --> 00:17:00,014
CONGRATULATING YOU ON YOUR EMMY
695
00:17:00,014 --> 00:17:03,027
NOMINATION THIS YEAR.
696
00:17:00,014 --> 00:17:03,027
SO WELL DESERVED.
697
00:17:03,027 --> 00:17:06,005
>> WELL, THANK YOU.
698
00:17:03,027 --> 00:17:06,005
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO
699
00:17:06,005 --> 00:17:10,003
LOSE, I THINK.
700
00:17:06,005 --> 00:17:10,003
>> Seth: BECAUSE YOU'RE A FAN OF
701
00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:13,006
WHO WON IN YOUR CATEGORY?
702
00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:13,006
>> YES.
703
00:17:13,006 --> 00:17:15,029
I MEAN, I'M A FAN OF EVERYBODY.
704
00:17:13,006 --> 00:17:15,029
BUT I WAS LIKE, JOKE THAT I WAS
705
00:17:15,029 --> 00:17:20,021
MAYBE ONLY THIRD ON MY OWN LIST.
706
00:17:15,029 --> 00:17:20,021
>> Seth: THIS IS -- WE SHOULD
707
00:17:20,021 --> 00:17:22,014
GIVE A SHOUT OUT.
708
00:17:20,021 --> 00:17:22,014
THIS IS ANNIE MURPHY OF
709
00:17:22,014 --> 00:17:24,017
SCHITT'S CREEK THAT WON IN YOUR
710
00:17:22,014 --> 00:17:24,017
CATEGORY.
711
00:17:24,017 --> 00:17:25,011
AND THAT IS A SHOW YOU LOVE.
712
00:17:24,017 --> 00:17:25,011
>> YES.
713
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:27,018
HAS IT BEEN ANNOUNCED?
714
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:27,018
>> I THINK IT'S OUT NOW.
715
00:17:27,018 --> 00:17:30,003
IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD.
716
00:17:27,018 --> 00:17:30,003
[ LAUGHTER ]
717
00:17:30,003 --> 00:17:31,006
THE END SCHEDULE IS WEIRD THIS
718
00:17:30,003 --> 00:17:31,006
YEAR.
719
00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:33,008
>> YEAH.
720
00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:33,008
>> Seth: THIS IS VERY EXCITING
721
00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:35,019
FOR US TO SEE YOU BECAUSE YOU
722
00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:35,019
WERE ONE OF THE LAST PEOPLE WE
723
00:17:35,019 --> 00:17:38,023
HAD IN STUDIO BEFORE EVERYTHING
724
00:17:35,019 --> 00:17:38,023
WENT SIDEWAYS BACK IN MARCH.
725
00:17:38,023 --> 00:17:41,006
>> OH, I KNOW.
726
00:17:38,023 --> 00:17:41,006
AND I WAS TALKING SO BIG, AND I
727
00:17:41,006 --> 00:17:45,015
SAID I WAS GOING TO GO TO THE
728
00:17:41,006 --> 00:17:45,015
SOCCER GAME, WHICH I DID.
729
00:17:45,015 --> 00:17:48,025
I WENT TO AN ARENA ON SUNDAY.
730
00:17:45,015 --> 00:17:48,025
AND THE PERSON I WAS WITH WAS
731
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:52,026
SICK BY THURSDAY.
732
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:52,026
>> Seth: REALLY?
733
00:17:52,026 --> 00:17:54,001
THAT WAS THE THURSDAY WHERE
734
00:17:52,026 --> 00:17:54,001
EVERYBODY BASICALLY LEFT TOWN,
735
00:17:54,001 --> 00:17:56,005
RIGHT?
736
00:17:54,001 --> 00:17:56,005
>> YEAH.
737
00:17:56,005 --> 00:17:59,019
WELL, I QUARANTINED FOR TWO
738
00:17:56,005 --> 00:17:59,019
WEEKS.
739
00:17:59,019 --> 00:18:00,023
>> Seth: YOU LIVED YOUR BEST
740
00:17:59,019 --> 00:18:00,023
LIFE RIGHT UP UNTIL THE LAST
741
00:18:00,023 --> 00:18:04,017
MINUTE.
742
00:18:00,023 --> 00:18:04,017
>> I SURE DID.
743
00:18:04,017 --> 00:18:06,010
I GOT TO SEE THE SOCCER TEAM
744
00:18:04,017 --> 00:18:06,010
WIN.
745
00:18:06,010 --> 00:18:09,006
THE U.S. WOMEN'S NATIONAL TEAM.
746
00:18:06,010 --> 00:18:09,006
>> YOU HAD SOMETHING THAT IS, I
747
00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:12,013
THINK, ON PAR WITH THAT KIND
748
00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:12,013
VICTORY.
749
00:18:12,013 --> 00:18:15,013
WHICH IS A LOT OF TIMES, PEOPLE
750
00:18:12,013 --> 00:18:15,013
WILL NOW -- BECAUSE THEY KNOW
751
00:18:15,013 --> 00:18:16,024
YOUR SKILLS AS AN IMPRESSIONIST
752
00:18:15,013 --> 00:18:16,024
IS THEY WILL CAST YOU FROM THE
753
00:18:16,024 --> 00:18:20,001
PUBLIC, AND SOMEONE SUGGESTED
754
00:18:16,024 --> 00:18:20,001
YOU PLAY DON JUNIOR'S
755
00:18:20,001 --> 00:18:22,020
GIRLFRIEND, KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE,
756
00:18:20,001 --> 00:18:22,020
AND IT WAS BETTE MIDLER IN A
757
00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:27,016
TWEET.
758
00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:27,016
>> IT WAS THE DIVINE MS. MIDLER.
759
00:18:27,016 --> 00:18:31,010
I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.
760
00:18:27,016 --> 00:18:31,010
I EMAILED LORNE IMMEDIATELY
761
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:34,020
AFTER I SAW THAT TWEET.
762
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:34,020
>> Seth: AND HE RESPONDED.
763
00:18:34,020 --> 00:18:36,008
>> I WAS LIKE, "BETTE MIDLER
764
00:18:34,020 --> 00:18:36,008
SAID TO DO IT, SO."
765
00:18:36,008 --> 00:18:39,020
AND HE SAID, "WE'LL GET THE
766
00:18:36,008 --> 00:18:39,020
WIG."
767
00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:44,007
>> Seth: THAT'S SO NICE OF HIM.
768
00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:44,007
HE HAS SUCH GOOD WIG CONTACTS.
769
00:18:44,007 --> 00:18:45,002
>> YEAH.
770
00:18:44,007 --> 00:18:45,002
YEAH.
771
00:18:45,002 --> 00:18:47,027
HE GOT -- HE IS GIVING ME ONE OF
772
00:18:45,002 --> 00:18:47,027
HIS.
773
00:18:47,027 --> 00:18:53,005
>> Seth: THAT'S NICE.
774
00:18:47,027 --> 00:18:53,005
YOU -- MY PERSONAL FAVORITE, I
775
00:18:53,005 --> 00:18:56,015
THINK I TEXT YOU ALMOST EVERY
776
00:18:53,005 --> 00:18:56,015
TIME YOU DO JEANNINE PIRRO.
777
00:18:56,015 --> 00:18:59,000
IS THIS AS MUCH FUN TO DO AS IT
778
00:18:56,015 --> 00:18:59,000
IS TO WATCH?
779
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,010
>> YES.
780
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,010
ABSOLUTELY.
781
00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:05,001
AND IT'S FUN BECAUSE COLIN IS
782
00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:05,001
ALWAYS A LITTLE BIT SURPRISED,
783
00:19:05,001 --> 00:19:09,019
AND HE ENJOYS IT SO MUCH, BEING
784
00:19:05,001 --> 00:19:09,019
TORTURED.
785
00:19:09,019 --> 00:19:12,008
>> Seth: YEAH.
786
00:19:09,019 --> 00:19:12,008
I FEEL LIKE THAT KIND OF WOMAN
787
00:19:12,008 --> 00:19:15,026
THROWING A DRINK ON COLLIN IS
788
00:19:12,008 --> 00:19:15,026
LIKE A WEIRD, LIKE, MAYBE
789
00:19:15,026 --> 00:19:18,015
FANTASY OF HIS.
790
00:19:15,026 --> 00:19:18,015
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
791
00:19:18,015 --> 00:19:19,028
>> PROBABLY.
792
00:19:18,015 --> 00:19:19,028
BUT I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT
793
00:19:19,028 --> 00:19:22,019
THAT IT WAY, BECAUSE IT WILL
794
00:19:19,028 --> 00:19:22,019
CHANGE THINGS FOR ME.
795
00:19:22,019 --> 00:19:23,025
>> Seth: IT'S GOING TO TAKE YOU
796
00:19:22,019 --> 00:19:23,025
AND PUT YOU IN YOUR HEAD THE
797
00:19:23,025 --> 00:19:24,017
NEXT TIME YOU DO IT.
798
00:19:23,025 --> 00:19:24,017
[ LAUGHTER ]
799
00:19:24,017 --> 00:19:27,028
>> YEAH.
800
00:19:24,017 --> 00:19:27,028
IT'S KIND OF FUN, YOU KNOW,
801
00:19:27,028 --> 00:19:29,029
PLAYING HER AND THEN EVEN WITH
802
00:19:27,028 --> 00:19:29,029
BETTE MIDLER TWEETING, I'VE
803
00:19:29,029 --> 00:19:34,009
NEVER FELT MORE HONORED THAN,
804
00:19:29,029 --> 00:19:34,009
LIKE, WHEN A CRAZED BRUNETTE
805
00:19:34,009 --> 00:19:39,006
SCREAMS ON TELEVISION, PEOPLE
806
00:19:34,009 --> 00:19:39,006
THINK OF ME.
807
00:19:39,006 --> 00:19:40,023
>> Seth: YEAH, THAT'S TRUE.
808
00:19:39,006 --> 00:19:40,023
IF SAW A CRAZY BRUNETTE, I'D
809
00:19:40,023 --> 00:19:43,024
THINK, "UH, OH.
810
00:19:40,023 --> 00:19:43,024
YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET CECILY-ED."
811
00:19:43,024 --> 00:19:47,004
>> THAT'S CECILY, YEAH.
812
00:19:43,024 --> 00:19:47,004
>> Seth: I THINK ONE OF THE
813
00:19:47,004 --> 00:19:50,010
EXCITING THINGS ABOUT SATURDAY
814
00:19:47,004 --> 00:19:50,010
THAT EVERYBODY'S LOOKING FORWARD
815
00:19:50,010 --> 00:19:52,004
TO, IS JIM CARREY'S GONNA BE
816
00:19:50,010 --> 00:19:52,004
THERE.
817
00:19:52,004 --> 00:19:57,005
HE'S GONNA BE PLAYING JOE BIDEN.
818
00:19:52,004 --> 00:19:57,005
AND THE LAST TIME HE HOSTED,
819
00:19:57,005 --> 00:20:00,007
THERE WAS THE CARREY FAMILY
820
00:19:57,005 --> 00:20:00,007
REUNION.
821
00:20:00,007 --> 00:20:03,022
THERE YOU ARE AS FIRE
822
00:20:00,007 --> 00:20:03,022
MARSHALL BILL.
823
00:20:03,022 --> 00:20:06,013
A VERY CONVINCING FIRE
824
00:20:03,022 --> 00:20:06,013
MARSHALL BILL.
825
00:20:06,013 --> 00:20:07,006
>> CLASSIC LOOK.
826
00:20:06,013 --> 00:20:07,006
YES.
827
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:10,015
>> Seth: WAS THAT GOOD TIMES?
828
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:10,015
>> THAT WAS SO COOL, BECAUSE IT
829
00:20:10,015 --> 00:20:12,014
WAS ONE OF THE INSTANCES THAT
830
00:20:10,015 --> 00:20:12,014
HAPPENS A LOT ON OUR SHOW, WHERE
831
00:20:12,014 --> 00:20:16,022
YOU GET TO MEET, LIKE, YOUR
832
00:20:12,014 --> 00:20:16,022
COMEDY HEROES, AND IT WAS NICE
833
00:20:16,022 --> 00:20:21,012
DOING A SKETCH LIKE THAT.
834
00:20:16,022 --> 00:20:21,012
WE KIND OF GOT TO SHOW HIM.
835
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:24,004
AND I THINK HE REALLY
836
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:24,004
APPRECIATED IT TOO.
837
00:20:24,004 --> 00:20:27,002
>> Seth: NOT ALL -- THIS IS A
838
00:20:24,004 --> 00:20:27,002
LITTLE HEART BREAKING, BUT I
839
00:20:27,002 --> 00:20:30,016
THINK IT'S GOOD FOR YOUNG ACTORS
840
00:20:27,002 --> 00:20:30,016
OUT THERE TO KNOW THAT NOT --
841
00:20:30,016 --> 00:20:31,024
YOU DON'T SUCCEED AT EVERY TURN.
842
00:20:30,016 --> 00:20:31,024
NOT ALL OF YOUR IMPRESSIONS HAVE
843
00:20:31,024 --> 00:20:35,011
MADE IT ON "SNL."
844
00:20:31,024 --> 00:20:35,011
YOU HAVE AN IMPRESSION OF
845
00:20:35,011 --> 00:20:38,009
IDRIS ELBA ON THE TELEVISION
846
00:20:35,011 --> 00:20:38,009
SHOW "LUTHER."
847
00:20:38,009 --> 00:20:42,003
>> YEAH, IT HAS TO BE "LUTHER."
848
00:20:38,009 --> 00:20:42,003
>> Seth: RIGHT.
849
00:20:42,003 --> 00:20:44,014
THIS IS NOT AN IDRIS ELBA
850
00:20:42,003 --> 00:20:44,014
IMPRESSION.
851
00:20:44,014 --> 00:20:50,016
THIS IS SPECIFIC TO THE BBC COP
852
00:20:44,014 --> 00:20:50,016
SHOW "LUTHER."
853
00:20:50,016 --> 00:21:00,025
>> AND I WOUND UP DOING IT FOR
854
00:20:50,016 --> 00:21:00,025
HIM AT THE HOST DINNER.
855
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,024
>> Seth: AND DID HE LIKE IT?
856
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,024
>> HE SAID HE DID.
857
00:21:01,024 --> 00:21:03,005
AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HE SAID
858
00:21:01,024 --> 00:21:03,005
AFTER I DO IT.
859
00:21:03,005 --> 00:21:10,016
BECAUSE IT'S MAINLY -- IT'S A
860
00:21:03,005 --> 00:21:10,016
PHYSICAL THING.
861
00:21:10,016 --> 00:21:11,024
>> Seth: OKAY.
862
00:21:10,016 --> 00:21:11,024
>> IT JUST GOES -- "NOW OUT
863
00:21:11,024 --> 00:21:13,013
THERE, BECAUSE I'M A COPPA.
864
00:21:11,024 --> 00:21:13,013
AND IT'S IAN, MATE."
865
00:21:13,013 --> 00:21:18,017
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
866
00:21:13,013 --> 00:21:18,017
IT'S A LOT OF JUST -- AND HE
867
00:21:18,017 --> 00:21:22,007
WENT, "SO A LOT OF SQUINTING."
868
00:21:18,017 --> 00:21:22,007
AND THAT'S A BAD IDRIS.
869
00:21:22,007 --> 00:21:25,014
I WAS PLAYING HIM THEN, NOT
870
00:21:22,007 --> 00:21:25,014
LUTHER.
871
00:21:25,014 --> 00:21:26,012
AND I SAID, "YEAH, WELL YOU'RE
872
00:21:25,014 --> 00:21:26,012
TIRED.
873
00:21:26,012 --> 00:21:28,012
LUTHER IS TIRED.
874
00:21:26,012 --> 00:21:28,012
>> Seth: LUTHER IS TIRED.
875
00:21:28,012 --> 00:21:31,017
HE IS A LITTLE OVER IT.
876
00:21:28,012 --> 00:21:31,017
I THINK HIS JOB IS OBVIOUSLY
877
00:21:31,017 --> 00:21:33,012
MADE A LOT HARDER.
878
00:21:31,017 --> 00:21:33,012
>> HIS JOB IS FREAKING
879
00:21:33,012 --> 00:21:36,000
EXHAUSTING.
880
00:21:33,012 --> 00:21:36,000
>> Seth: IT'S EXHAUSTING.
881
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,003
BUT I THINK I MISSED THAT, THAT
882
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,003
LUTHER IS OFTEN SORT OF JUST
883
00:21:39,003 --> 00:21:42,000
WORKING -- A LOT OF THIS, YEAH.
884
00:21:39,003 --> 00:21:42,000
A LOT OF WORKING THE CHIN FOR
885
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,019
OLD LUTHER.
886
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,019
>> YEAH.
887
00:21:44,019 --> 00:21:45,025
>> Seth: AND THEN I BELIEVE YOU
888
00:21:44,019 --> 00:21:45,025
WERE JUST LISTING THE OTHER
889
00:21:45,025 --> 00:21:47,008
CHARACTERS THAT WORK WITH
890
00:21:45,025 --> 00:21:47,008
LUTHER.
891
00:21:47,008 --> 00:21:50,018
THOSE WERE JUST HIS COLLEAGUES.
892
00:21:47,008 --> 00:21:50,018
>> YEAH, THAT'S A LOT OF MY
893
00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:52,001
IMPRESSION WORK, IS JUST ME
894
00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:52,001
SAYING THE OTHER NAMES OF PEOPLE
895
00:21:52,001 --> 00:21:56,016
ON THE SHOW.
896
00:21:52,001 --> 00:21:56,016
>> Seth: WELL, IT MAKES IT VERY
897
00:21:56,016 --> 00:21:57,022
CLEAR TO THE PERSON THAT YOU'RE
898
00:21:56,016 --> 00:21:57,022
DOING THE IMPRESSION OF THAT
899
00:21:57,022 --> 00:21:58,024
YOU'VE SEEN THE WORK.
900
00:21:57,022 --> 00:21:58,024
>> YES.
901
00:21:58,024 --> 00:22:00,006
BRETT BUTLER, I JUST YELL AT
902
00:21:58,024 --> 00:22:00,006
QUENTIN WHEN I DO "GRACE UNDER
903
00:22:00,006 --> 00:22:03,011
FIRE."
904
00:22:00,006 --> 00:22:03,011
>> Seth: WELL, I THINK YOU CAN'T
905
00:22:03,011 --> 00:22:05,012
DO A LUTHER AND NOT DO
906
00:22:03,011 --> 00:22:05,012
BRETT BUTLER FROM "GRACE UNDER
907
00:22:05,012 --> 00:22:09,016
FIRE."
908
00:22:05,012 --> 00:22:09,016
>> WELL, IT'S JUST LIKE,
909
00:22:09,016 --> 00:22:12,022
"QUENTIN, QUENTIN GO GET RUSSELL
910
00:22:09,016 --> 00:22:12,022
AT THE PHARMACY, QUENTIN.
911
00:22:12,022 --> 00:22:14,028
WHERE IS NADINE?"
912
00:22:12,022 --> 00:22:14,028
SO, AGAIN, IT'S A LOT OF THE
913
00:22:14,028 --> 00:22:16,006
OTHER CHARACTERS.
914
00:22:14,028 --> 00:22:16,006
>> Seth: DO YOU GET ASKED TO DO
915
00:22:16,006 --> 00:22:20,022
THAT ONE A LOT?
916
00:22:16,006 --> 00:22:20,022
>> I DID IT ONCE, AND THEN THEY
917
00:22:20,022 --> 00:22:24,011
STOPPED ASKING ME.
918
00:22:20,022 --> 00:22:24,011
>> Seth: WELL, THAT'S --
919
00:22:24,011 --> 00:22:25,025
>> IF THERE IS AN IMPRESSION I'M
920
00:22:24,011 --> 00:22:25,025
HIDING.
921
00:22:25,025 --> 00:22:27,003
YOU KNOW HOW THEY DO THAT ON THE
922
00:22:25,025 --> 00:22:27,003
SHOW?
923
00:22:27,003 --> 00:22:28,020
>> Seth: OH, RIGHT, RIGHT,
924
00:22:27,003 --> 00:22:28,020
RIGHT.
925
00:22:28,020 --> 00:22:30,006
>> THEY EMAIL YOU ONCE A WEEK.
926
00:22:28,020 --> 00:22:30,006
>> Seth: OH.
927
00:22:30,006 --> 00:22:31,027
OH, I SEE.
928
00:22:30,006 --> 00:22:31,027
LIKE, YEAH, RIGHT.
929
00:22:31,027 --> 00:22:34,009
THEY WANT TO DO AN IMPRESSION
930
00:22:31,027 --> 00:22:34,009
FOR EACH PARADE SKETCH.
931
00:22:34,009 --> 00:22:36,023
AND THEY'LL SAY, "HEY, DO YOU
932
00:22:34,009 --> 00:22:36,023
HAVE ANYTHING IN YOUR BACK
933
00:22:36,023 --> 00:22:40,000
POCKET," AND THAT'S WHAT YOU
934
00:22:36,023 --> 00:22:40,000
DROP THEM.
935
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,008
AND I'M LIKE, "WELL, 'GRACE
936
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,008
UNDER FIRE'."
937
00:22:41,008 --> 00:22:42,019
>> Seth: THIS IS VERY -- THERE
938
00:22:41,008 --> 00:22:42,019
WAS VERY EXCITING NEWS THAT WAS
939
00:22:42,019 --> 00:22:44,004
RELEASED TODAY.
940
00:22:42,019 --> 00:22:44,004
YOU HAVE A SHOW THAT'S COMING
941
00:22:44,004 --> 00:22:47,023
OUT ON "APPLE TV."
942
00:22:44,004 --> 00:22:47,023
>> YES.
943
00:22:47,023 --> 00:22:49,020
IS THAT -- WHERE ARE YOU IN THE
944
00:22:47,023 --> 00:22:49,020
PRODUCTION SCHEDULE OF THAT?
945
00:22:49,020 --> 00:22:53,010
JUST ABOUT TO START?
946
00:22:49,020 --> 00:22:53,010
IS THAT ACCURATE-ISH?
947
00:22:53,010 --> 00:22:57,006
>> ISH, YES.
948
00:22:53,010 --> 00:22:57,006
I'M NOT 100%.
949
00:22:57,006 --> 00:23:00,017
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING.
950
00:22:57,006 --> 00:23:00,017
I'M LOCKED IN A HOUSE.
951
00:23:00,017 --> 00:23:02,012
>> Seth: BUT IT'S AN INCREDIBLE
952
00:23:00,017 --> 00:23:02,012
CAST.
953
00:23:02,012 --> 00:23:04,022
>> I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS
954
00:23:02,012 --> 00:23:04,022
CAST.
955
00:23:04,022 --> 00:23:07,007
WE GOT -- I MEAN, I'VE BEEN LIKE
956
00:23:04,022 --> 00:23:07,007
WAITING TO SCREAM IT FROM THE
957
00:23:07,007 --> 00:23:12,002
MOUNTAIN TOPS.
958
00:23:07,007 --> 00:23:12,002
JUST TO GET TO WORK WITH KEEGAN,
959
00:23:12,002 --> 00:23:15,020
IS MY CO-STAR, AND THEN ALL
960
00:23:12,002 --> 00:23:15,020
THESE AMAZING BROADWAY FOLKS,
961
00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:20,001
AND IT'S JUST -- I'M THRILLED.
962
00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:20,001
I'VE ONLY HAD THE ZOOM COCKTAIL
963
00:23:20,001 --> 00:23:21,015
PARTY WITH THEM SO FAR.
964
00:23:20,001 --> 00:23:21,015
>> Seth: AND THIS IS THE TITLE
965
00:23:21,015 --> 00:23:23,026
OF THE SHOW -- IS THE TITLE
966
00:23:21,015 --> 00:23:23,026
OFFICIAL?
967
00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:24,022
IS IT OFFICIALLY THE TITLE I
968
00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:24,022
HAVE HEARD?
969
00:23:24,022 --> 00:23:25,020
>> NO.
970
00:23:24,022 --> 00:23:25,020
>> Seth: GREAT.
971
00:23:25,020 --> 00:23:26,021
THEN I WON'T SAY IT.
972
00:23:25,020 --> 00:23:26,021
[ LAUGHTER ]
973
00:23:26,021 --> 00:23:27,027
>> YEAH.
974
00:23:26,021 --> 00:23:27,027
WELL YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU
975
00:23:27,027 --> 00:23:29,029
WANT, AND YOU'LL BE WRONG.
976
00:23:27,027 --> 00:23:29,029
>> Seth: WELL, I TRY TO AVOID
977
00:23:29,029 --> 00:23:32,003
THAT AT ALL COSTS.
978
00:23:29,029 --> 00:23:32,003
>> UNLESS, I MEAN, IF YOU HAVE A
979
00:23:32,003 --> 00:23:37,004
GOOD IDEA.
980
00:23:32,003 --> 00:23:37,004
BY ALL MEANS.
981
00:23:37,004 --> 00:23:38,017
>> Seth: BUT THIS IS YOU AND
982
00:23:37,004 --> 00:23:38,017
KEEGAN MICHAEL KEY.
983
00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:40,013
YOU'RE BASICALLY A COUPLE THAT
984
00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:40,013
STUMBLES ON TO, SORT OF, A
985
00:23:40,013 --> 00:23:41,029
MAGICAL LAND WHERE EVERYBODY
986
00:23:40,013 --> 00:23:41,029
BELIEVES THEY'RE IN A MUSICAL.
987
00:23:41,029 --> 00:23:43,026
>> YES.
988
00:23:41,029 --> 00:23:43,026
FRED IS IN IT.
989
00:23:43,026 --> 00:23:48,025
>> Seth: FRED,
990
00:23:43,026 --> 00:23:48,025
KRISTIN CHENOWETH.
991
00:23:48,025 --> 00:23:52,019
>> KRISTIN CHENOWETH,
992
00:23:48,025 --> 00:23:52,019
ALAN CUMMING, AARON TVEIT,
993
00:23:52,019 --> 00:23:55,007
DOVE CAMERON, ARIANA DeBOSE.
994
00:23:52,019 --> 00:23:55,007
IT'S REALLY EXCITING.
995
00:23:55,007 --> 00:23:57,003
>> Seth: THAT'S AMAZING.
996
00:23:55,007 --> 00:23:57,003
CONGRATS ON THAT CECILY.
997
00:23:57,003 --> 00:23:58,024
I CAN'T WAIT FOR SATURDAY.
998
00:23:57,003 --> 00:23:58,024
IT'S ALWAYS SUCH A JOY TO SEE
999
00:23:58,024 --> 00:24:00,014
YOU.
1000
00:23:58,024 --> 00:24:00,014
THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
1001
00:24:00,014 --> 00:24:02,013
>> YEAH.
1002
00:24:00,014 --> 00:24:02,013
THANK YOU, SETH.
1003
00:24:02,013 --> 00:24:05,009
>> Seth: I'LL SEE YOU SOON.
1004
00:24:02,013 --> 00:24:05,009
SEASON 46 OF "SNL," PREMIERES
1005
00:24:05,009 --> 00:24:07,021
THIS SATURDAY, WITH CHRIS ROCK
1006
00:24:05,009 --> 00:24:07,021
AND MUSICAL GUEST,
1007
00:24:07,021 --> 00:24:08,027
MEGAN THEE STALLION.
1008
00:24:07,021 --> 00:24:08,027
>> Seth: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
1009
00:24:08,027 --> 00:24:24,028
WITH DAVID WRIGHT.
1010
00:24:08,027 --> 00:24:24,028
♪♪♪
1011
00:24:24,028 --> 00:24:27,023
>> Seth: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A
1012
00:24:24,028 --> 00:24:27,023
SEVEN-TIME MLB ALL-STAR AND
1013
00:24:27,023 --> 00:24:30,023
COUNTLESS FRANCHISE RECORD
1014
00:24:27,023 --> 00:24:30,023
HOLDER WHO PLAYED THIRD BEST --
1015
00:24:30,023 --> 00:24:32,026
THIRD BASE, EXCUSE ME, FOR THE
1016
00:24:30,023 --> 00:24:32,026
NEW YORK METS.
1017
00:24:32,026 --> 00:24:35,006
HIS MEMOIR "THE CAPTAIN" WILL BE
1018
00:24:32,026 --> 00:24:35,006
PUBLISHED ON OCTOBER 13th.
1019
00:24:35,006 --> 00:24:39,001
PLEASE WELCOME TO THE SHOW
1020
00:24:35,006 --> 00:24:39,001
DAVID WRIGHT.
1021
00:24:39,001 --> 00:24:40,012
THANKS FOR BEING HERE, DAVID.
1022
00:24:39,001 --> 00:24:40,012
>> SETH, THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
1023
00:24:40,012 --> 00:24:42,020
>> Seth: WE ARE A LITTLE UPSET
1024
00:24:40,012 --> 00:24:42,020
THAT YOU'RE NOT HERE LIVE IN THE
1025
00:24:42,020 --> 00:24:43,029
STUDIO.
1026
00:24:42,020 --> 00:24:43,029
WE HAVE A LOT OF METS FANS HERE
1027
00:24:43,029 --> 00:24:46,023
WHO ARE VERY DISAPPOINTED NOT TO
1028
00:24:43,029 --> 00:24:46,023
MEET YOU, AND --
1029
00:24:46,023 --> 00:24:48,021
>> I HEARD IN THE OPENING, THERE
1030
00:24:46,023 --> 00:24:48,021
IS ONE.
1031
00:24:48,021 --> 00:24:51,023
>> Seth: WE HAVE ONE.
1032
00:24:48,021 --> 00:24:51,023
WE ALSO HAVE ONE YANKEE FAN, BUT
1033
00:24:51,023 --> 00:24:53,014
HE'S THE WORST GUY.
1034
00:24:51,023 --> 00:24:53,014
>> OKAY, GOOD.
1035
00:24:53,014 --> 00:24:54,022
>> Seth: OH, THERE HE IS.
1036
00:24:53,014 --> 00:24:54,022
AT LEAST HE KNEW WHO I WAS
1037
00:24:54,022 --> 00:24:56,024
TALKING ABOUT.
1038
00:24:54,022 --> 00:24:56,024
SO I WANT TO START BY SAYING, I
1039
00:24:56,024 --> 00:24:58,004
THINK WE HAVE CHILDREN ALMOST
1040
00:24:56,024 --> 00:24:58,004
THE EXACT SAME AGE.
1041
00:24:58,004 --> 00:25:00,005
2 1/2 AND 4 1/2.
1042
00:24:58,004 --> 00:25:00,005
I CERTAINLY HAVE ENJOYED MY TIME
1043
00:25:00,005 --> 00:25:02,001
WITH THEM OVER THIS, YOU KNOW,
1044
00:25:00,005 --> 00:25:02,001
CRAZY ERA WE ARE LIVING THROUGH.
1045
00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:06,023
HAVE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME WITH
1046
00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:06,023
THE KIDS?
1047
00:25:06,023 --> 00:25:09,013
>> I HAVE.
1048
00:25:06,023 --> 00:25:09,013
AND LET ME START OUT BY SAYING
1049
00:25:09,013 --> 00:25:11,013
YOU ROCKED THE TROLLS JOKE IN
1050
00:25:09,013 --> 00:25:11,013
THE BEGINNING, SO --
1051
00:25:11,013 --> 00:25:13,029
>> Seth: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
1052
00:25:11,013 --> 00:25:13,029
>> YOU GOT A GOOD DAD CHUCKLE
1053
00:25:13,029 --> 00:25:15,008
OUT OF ME.
1054
00:25:13,029 --> 00:25:15,008
[ LAUGHTER ]
1055
00:25:15,008 --> 00:25:17,018
YEAH, I THINK WE REALLY ENJOYED
1056
00:25:15,008 --> 00:25:17,018
THE TIME DOING THINGS AS A
1057
00:25:17,018 --> 00:25:20,006
FAMILY THAT WE TYPICALLY
1058
00:25:17,018 --> 00:25:20,006
WOULDN'T DO.
1059
00:25:20,006 --> 00:25:22,002
IF THE GIRLS WERE IN PRESCHOOL,
1060
00:25:20,006 --> 00:25:22,002
THE HARD PART HAS CERTAINLY BEEN
1061
00:25:22,002 --> 00:25:27,004
RELEARNING HOW TO COLOR IN THE
1062
00:25:22,002 --> 00:25:27,004
LINES AND CUT STRAIGHT AND NOT
1063
00:25:27,004 --> 00:25:30,008
GET GLUE ALL OVER THE PLACE.
1064
00:25:27,004 --> 00:25:30,008
SO THAT'S BEEN A CHALLENGE.
1065
00:25:30,008 --> 00:25:33,000
BUT OTHER THAN THAT, IT'S BEEN
1066
00:25:30,008 --> 00:25:33,000
FANTASTIC.
1067
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,004
>> Seth: YEAH, WE ARE ALL
1068
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,004
RELEARNING OUR ARTS AND CRAFT
1069
00:25:34,004 --> 00:25:35,001
SKILLS.
1070
00:25:34,004 --> 00:25:35,001
THEY HAVEN'T FULLY ABANDONED US.
1071
00:25:35,001 --> 00:25:37,018
YOU, I KNOW -- OBVIOUSLY, YOU
1072
00:25:35,001 --> 00:25:37,018
ARE RETIRED NOW BUT YOU STILL
1073
00:25:37,018 --> 00:25:40,019
WORK WITH THE METS IN AN
1074
00:25:37,018 --> 00:25:40,019
ADVISORY ROLE.
1075
00:25:40,019 --> 00:25:44,008
HOW -- I ASSUME YOU MISS
1076
00:25:40,019 --> 00:25:44,008
PLAYING.
1077
00:25:44,008 --> 00:25:45,015
DO YOU MISS IT LESS SEEING WHAT
1078
00:25:44,008 --> 00:25:45,015
THE PLAYERS HAD TO GO THROUGH
1079
00:25:45,015 --> 00:25:47,013
THIS SEASON?
1080
00:25:45,015 --> 00:25:47,013
>> CERTAINLY.
1081
00:25:47,013 --> 00:25:48,029
CERTAINLY.
1082
00:25:47,013 --> 00:25:48,029
WITH ALL THE PROTOCOLS.
1083
00:25:48,029 --> 00:25:54,011
IT WAS A WEIRD SEASON.
1084
00:25:48,029 --> 00:25:54,011
IT WAS A TOUGH SEASON.
1085
00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:55,006
I'M KIND OF A BASEBALL
1086
00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:55,006
TRADITIONALIST.
1087
00:25:55,006 --> 00:25:56,011
SO SEEING A DH IN THE NATIONAL
1088
00:25:55,006 --> 00:25:56,011
LEAGUE KIND OF HURT A LITTLE
1089
00:25:56,011 --> 00:25:59,029
BIT.
1090
00:25:56,011 --> 00:25:59,029
AND SEEING, YOU KNOW, THE
1091
00:25:59,029 --> 00:26:01,017
RUNNERS START ON SECOND BASE AND
1092
00:25:59,029 --> 00:26:01,017
EXTRA INNINGS, YOU KNOW, KIND OF
1093
00:26:01,017 --> 00:26:05,028
WAS A BIT OF A GUT PUNCH AND
1094
00:26:01,017 --> 00:26:05,028
TOOK A LITTLE GETTING USED TO.
1095
00:26:05,028 --> 00:26:07,006
BUT I'M GLAD THE GAME CAME BACK.
1096
00:26:05,028 --> 00:26:07,006
YOU KNOW, CERTAINLY GLAD THAT WE
1097
00:26:07,006 --> 00:26:11,004
HAD SOME ENTERTAINMENT DURING
1098
00:26:07,006 --> 00:26:11,004
THE TOUGH TIMES.
1099
00:26:11,004 --> 00:26:15,008
SO HOPEFULLY, WE GET BACK TO
1100
00:26:11,004 --> 00:26:15,008
SOME NORMALCY NEXT YEAR.
1101
00:26:15,008 --> 00:26:16,024
>> Seth: YOU FAMOUSLY GREW UP A
1102
00:26:15,008 --> 00:26:16,024
METS FAN DESPITE THE FACT THAT
1103
00:26:16,024 --> 00:26:19,024
YOU ARE FROM VIRGINIA.
1104
00:26:16,024 --> 00:26:19,024
HOW DOES A KID IN VIRGINIA END
1105
00:26:19,024 --> 00:26:22,020
UP BEING A FAN OF THE NEW YORK
1106
00:26:19,024 --> 00:26:22,020
METS?
1107
00:26:22,020 --> 00:26:25,011
BECAUSE YOU REALLY, YOU KNOW, NO
1108
00:26:22,020 --> 00:26:25,011
OFFENSE TO THE METS, YOU COULD
1109
00:26:25,011 --> 00:26:29,013
HAVE PICKED ANYBODY.
1110
00:26:25,011 --> 00:26:29,013
THEN AGAIN, YOU WERE PICKING THE
1111
00:26:29,013 --> 00:26:32,007
METS BEFORE THEY HAD
1112
00:26:29,013 --> 00:26:32,007
DAVID WRIGHT, YOU KNOW, SO --
1113
00:26:32,007 --> 00:26:34,004
>> RUMOR HAS IT, YOU'RE SOMEWHAT
1114
00:26:32,007 --> 00:26:34,004
OF A PIRATE FAN.
1115
00:26:34,004 --> 00:26:36,005
SO I'M NOT SURE, YOU SHOULD LOOK
1116
00:26:34,004 --> 00:26:36,005
YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR BEFORE
1117
00:26:36,005 --> 00:26:38,019
THAT COMMENT.
1118
00:26:36,005 --> 00:26:38,019
>> Seth: THAT IS HEARTBREAKING
1119
00:26:38,019 --> 00:26:43,001
THAT YOU FOUND THAT OUT.
1120
00:26:38,019 --> 00:26:43,001
>> OUR AAA TEAM WAS IN NORFOLK,
1121
00:26:43,001 --> 00:26:45,008
VIRGINIA, WHICH IS ABOUT A
1122
00:26:43,001 --> 00:26:45,008
15 MINUTE DRIVE FROM MY HOUSE.
1123
00:26:45,008 --> 00:26:46,015
AND MY FATHER WORKED IN THE
1124
00:26:45,008 --> 00:26:46,015
POLICE DEPARTMENT.
1125
00:26:46,015 --> 00:26:48,024
MY MOTHER WORKED IN A LOCAL
1126
00:26:46,015 --> 00:26:48,024
SCHOOL SYSTEM.
1127
00:26:48,024 --> 00:26:52,024
SO GETTING A CHANCE TO GO TO OUR
1128
00:26:48,024 --> 00:26:52,024
AAA AFFILIATES GAMES, MY DAD
1129
00:26:52,024 --> 00:26:54,005
KNEW A LOT OF THE OFF DUTY
1130
00:26:52,024 --> 00:26:54,005
POLICE OFFICERS THAT WERE
1131
00:26:54,005 --> 00:26:56,028
WORKING SECURITY.
1132
00:26:54,005 --> 00:26:56,028
SO, YOU KNOW, THEY WOULD KIND OF
1133
00:26:56,028 --> 00:26:59,009
SNEAK ME DOWN SOMETIMES AND TAKE
1134
00:26:56,028 --> 00:26:59,009
PICTURES WITH SOME OF THE
1135
00:26:59,009 --> 00:27:01,023
PLAYERS OR GET SOME AUTOGRAPHS
1136
00:26:59,009 --> 00:27:01,023
OR GIVE ME A FOUL BALL AND I GOT
1137
00:27:01,023 --> 00:27:06,006
THE BIGGEST THRILL OUT OF
1138
00:27:01,023 --> 00:27:06,006
MEETING THOSE PLAYERS.
1139
00:27:06,006 --> 00:27:07,022
AND THEN, A COUPLE WEEKS LATER,
1140
00:27:06,006 --> 00:27:07,022
TURNING ON THE TV AND SEEING
1141
00:27:07,022 --> 00:27:11,001
THOSE SAME PLAYERS PLAYING IN
1142
00:27:07,022 --> 00:27:11,001
THE BIG LEAGUES IN NEW YORK.
1143
00:27:11,001 --> 00:27:13,007
SO I GREW UP A BIT OF A
1144
00:27:11,001 --> 00:27:13,007
DISPLACED METS FAN BECAUSE OF
1145
00:27:13,007 --> 00:27:16,009
OUR AAA TEAM.
1146
00:27:13,007 --> 00:27:16,009
>> Seth: THAT'S CERTAINLY A NICE
1147
00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:17,012
OUTCOME THAT YOU ENDED UP
1148
00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:17,012
PLAYING FOR YOUR, YOU KNOW,
1149
00:27:17,012 --> 00:27:20,023
BOYHOOD TEAM.
1150
00:27:17,012 --> 00:27:20,023
HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU MADE
1151
00:27:20,023 --> 00:27:24,000
IT TO THE BIGS?
1152
00:27:20,023 --> 00:27:24,000
>> 21.
1153
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,020
>> Seth: 21 YEARS OLD.
1154
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,020
SO YOU ARE MOVING TO NEW YORK
1155
00:27:25,020 --> 00:27:27,008
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
1156
00:27:25,020 --> 00:27:27,008
AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS 27 WHEN I
1157
00:27:27,008 --> 00:27:31,004
MOVED TO NEW YORK AND I WAS
1158
00:27:27,008 --> 00:27:31,004
OVERWHELMED.
1159
00:27:31,004 --> 00:27:33,001
21, I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE.
1160
00:27:31,004 --> 00:27:33,001
TRUE STORY YOU DID NOT HAVE A
1161
00:27:33,001 --> 00:27:38,016
SUIT AT THAT TIME?
1162
00:27:33,001 --> 00:27:38,016
>> 100%.
1163
00:27:38,016 --> 00:27:41,018
THE TRICK WAS, AND ONE OF THE --
1164
00:27:38,016 --> 00:27:41,018
A COUPLE OF THE OLDER GUYS, I
1165
00:27:41,018 --> 00:27:44,005
WAS LUCKY I GOT CAUGHT UP WITH A
1166
00:27:41,018 --> 00:27:44,005
VERY VETERAN GROUP.
1167
00:27:44,005 --> 00:27:49,009
THE TRICK WAS YOU BUY ONE SPORTS
1168
00:27:44,005 --> 00:27:49,009
COAT AND WHETHER IT MATCHED OR
1169
00:27:49,009 --> 00:27:51,003
NOT, YOU JUST THROW IT OVER YOUR
1170
00:27:49,009 --> 00:27:51,003
SHOULDER TO SAY YOU HAVE IT.
1171
00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:52,024
SO THEREFORE, YOU'RE ALWAYS IN
1172
00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:52,024
LINE WITH WHAT THE RULES ARE,
1173
00:27:52,024 --> 00:27:55,027
BUT YOU DON'T NECESSARILY HAVE
1174
00:27:52,024 --> 00:27:55,027
TO BUY A LOT TO MATCH.
1175
00:27:55,027 --> 00:27:57,012
AND AT THE TIME, I WAS PRETTY
1176
00:27:55,027 --> 00:27:57,012
FRUGAL.
1177
00:27:57,012 --> 00:27:59,024
YOU KNOW, WE WENT TO MONTREAL
1178
00:27:57,012 --> 00:27:59,024
FOR MY FIRST ROAD TRIP IN THE
1179
00:27:59,024 --> 00:28:02,010
BIG LEAGUES, AND SOME OF THE
1180
00:27:59,024 --> 00:28:02,010
VETERAN GUYS, MAINLY CLIFF LLOYD
1181
00:28:02,010 --> 00:28:04,029
TOOK ME OUT AND BOUGHT ME A
1182
00:28:02,010 --> 00:28:04,029
BUNCH OF SUITS TO WEAR ON THE
1183
00:28:04,029 --> 00:28:09,019
ROAD.
1184
00:28:04,029 --> 00:28:09,019
AND LET ME REMIND YOU, IN 2004,
1185
00:28:09,019 --> 00:28:12,013
THE STYLE WAS THE BIGGER, THE
1186
00:28:09,019 --> 00:28:12,013
BAGGIER, THE BETTER.
1187
00:28:12,013 --> 00:28:18,006
SO ME WALKING OUT WITH THIS SUIT
1188
00:28:12,013 --> 00:28:18,006
STORE WITH THE HUGE MONSTROUS
1189
00:28:18,006 --> 00:28:22,001
MC HAMMER TYPE PANTS, YOU KNOW,
1190
00:28:18,006 --> 00:28:22,001
IT WAS A SIGHT TO BEHOLD.
1191
00:28:22,001 --> 00:28:25,006
AND I'M GLAD THAT SOCIAL MEDIA
1192
00:28:22,001 --> 00:28:25,006
WASN'T AROUND THEN.
1193
00:28:25,006 --> 00:28:26,015
>> Seth: YEAH, THAT IS GOOD TO
1194
00:28:25,006 --> 00:28:26,015
KNOW.
1195
00:28:26,015 --> 00:28:28,007
ALSO, I THINK LIKE 2004 WASN'T
1196
00:28:26,015 --> 00:28:28,007
QUITE MC HAMMER.
1197
00:28:28,007 --> 00:28:29,012
I THINK CLIFF LLOYD MIGHT'VE
1198
00:28:28,007 --> 00:28:29,012
BEEN PULLING A VETERAN'S PRANK
1199
00:28:29,012 --> 00:28:32,002
ON YOU.
1200
00:28:29,012 --> 00:28:32,002
>> POSSIBLY.
1201
00:28:32,002 --> 00:28:33,010
POSSIBLY.
1202
00:28:32,002 --> 00:28:33,010
>> Seth: NO, IT'S 2004, HAMMER
1203
00:28:33,010 --> 00:28:37,017
IS HUGE.
1204
00:28:33,010 --> 00:28:37,017
THIS IS -- YOU KNOW, IT'S PRETTY
1205
00:28:37,017 --> 00:28:38,026
COOL THAT YOU ARE WRITING A
1206
00:28:37,017 --> 00:28:38,026
BOOK.
1207
00:28:38,026 --> 00:28:40,013
I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY, YOU'VE
1208
00:28:38,026 --> 00:28:40,013
ACCOMPLISHED A LOT.
1209
00:28:40,013 --> 00:28:43,017
WAS IT HARDER TO WRITE A BOOK
1210
00:28:40,013 --> 00:28:43,017
THAN YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE?
1211
00:28:43,017 --> 00:28:44,020
>> SO I NEVER THOUGHT I REALLY
1212
00:28:43,017 --> 00:28:44,020
WANTED TO DO IT.
1213
00:28:44,020 --> 00:28:47,004
I WAS APPROACHED BY THE
1214
00:28:44,020 --> 00:28:47,004
CO-AUTHOR ANTHONY DiCOMO WHO DID
1215
00:28:47,004 --> 00:28:52,019
A FANTASTIC JOB GUIDING ME ALONG
1216
00:28:47,004 --> 00:28:52,019
THE WAY.
1217
00:28:52,019 --> 00:28:53,026
BUT IT WAS THERAPEUTIC FOR ME.
1218
00:28:52,019 --> 00:28:53,026
YOU KNOW, I THINK AS AN ATHLETE,
1219
00:28:53,026 --> 00:28:55,004
YOU NEVER GET A CHANCE TO ENJOY
1220
00:28:53,026 --> 00:28:55,004
THE MOMENT WHILE YOU'RE DOING
1221
00:28:55,004 --> 00:28:57,025
IT.
1222
00:28:55,004 --> 00:28:57,025
YOU KNOW, BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAYS
1223
00:28:57,025 --> 00:28:59,001
LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT NEXT
1224
00:28:57,025 --> 00:28:59,001
CHALLENGE OR TRYING TO GET READY
1225
00:28:59,001 --> 00:29:02,011
FOR THE NEXT PITCHER THE NEXT
1226
00:28:59,001 --> 00:29:02,011
NIGHT.
1227
00:29:02,011 --> 00:29:05,013
SO, YOU KNOW, TO BE ABLE TO
1228
00:29:02,011 --> 00:29:05,013
RELIVE SOME OF THESE MEMORIES
1229
00:29:05,013 --> 00:29:06,020
AND THESE ARE SOME OF THE BEST
1230
00:29:05,013 --> 00:29:06,020
MEMORIES THAT I'M GOING TO HAVE
1231
00:29:06,020 --> 00:29:10,010
IN MY LIFE.
1232
00:29:06,020 --> 00:29:10,010
YOU KNOW, AND TO BE ABLE TO SEE
1233
00:29:10,010 --> 00:29:12,018
IT FROM OTHER PEOPLE'S
1234
00:29:10,010 --> 00:29:12,018
PERSPECTIVES OR HEAR WHAT
1235
00:29:12,018 --> 00:29:15,008
TEAMMATES WERE THINKING OR FANS
1236
00:29:12,018 --> 00:29:15,008
WERE THINKING OR MY FAMILY WAS
1237
00:29:15,008 --> 00:29:19,013
THINKING AT THAT TIME, YOU KNOW,
1238
00:29:15,008 --> 00:29:19,013
WAS PRETTY COOL.
1239
00:29:19,013 --> 00:29:21,017
AND A QUICK, FUNNY STORY IS ONE
1240
00:29:19,013 --> 00:29:21,017
OF THE COOLEST THINGS IS I GOT A
1241
00:29:21,017 --> 00:29:25,006
CHANCE TO TAKE A COUPLE DOZEN
1242
00:29:21,017 --> 00:29:25,006
FAMILY PICTURES, PERSONAL
1243
00:29:25,006 --> 00:29:28,002
PICTURES FOR THE MIDDLE OF THE
1244
00:29:25,006 --> 00:29:28,002
BOOK.
1245
00:29:28,002 --> 00:29:30,014
SO MY PARENTS STILL LIVE IN
1246
00:29:28,002 --> 00:29:30,014
VIRGINIA.
1247
00:29:30,014 --> 00:29:32,016
I'M OUT ON THE WEST COAST.
1248
00:29:30,014 --> 00:29:32,016
SO I CALL MY DAD AND MOM AND I
1249
00:29:32,016 --> 00:29:35,010
SAY, "HEY, CAN YOU SEND ME SOME
1250
00:29:32,016 --> 00:29:35,010
PICTURES FROM BACK IN THE DAY, I
1251
00:29:35,010 --> 00:29:38,005
WANT TO GO THROUGH THEM AND GET
1252
00:29:35,010 --> 00:29:38,005
SOME CHILDHOOD PHOTOS.
1253
00:29:38,005 --> 00:29:40,024
SO MY PARENTS BEING AS FRUGAL AS
1254
00:29:38,005 --> 00:29:40,024
THEY ARE, THEY FEDEX GROUND THIS
1255
00:29:40,024 --> 00:29:42,021
THING.
1256
00:29:40,024 --> 00:29:42,021
IT COMES LIKE A WEEK LATER.
1257
00:29:42,021 --> 00:29:44,006
THERE'S FOUR HUGE BOXES.
1258
00:29:42,021 --> 00:29:44,006
IT'S GOT TO BE TENS OF THOUSANDS
1259
00:29:44,006 --> 00:29:46,005
OF PICTURES.
1260
00:29:44,006 --> 00:29:46,005
SO GOING THROUGH THESE PICTURES
1261
00:29:46,005 --> 00:29:50,016
AND PICKING MY FAVORITES BROUGHT
1262
00:29:46,005 --> 00:29:50,016
BACK SO MANY GREAT MEMORIES OF
1263
00:29:50,016 --> 00:29:53,013
NOT JUST BASEBALL, BUT MY YOUTH
1264
00:29:50,016 --> 00:29:53,013
AND YOUTH AND GROWING UP AND
1265
00:29:53,013 --> 00:29:56,006
PLAYING BASEBALL FOR THE FIRST
1266
00:29:53,013 --> 00:29:56,006
TIME AS A KID, AND MY
1267
00:29:56,006 --> 00:29:58,003
GRANDPARENTS WHO HAVE SINCE
1268
00:29:56,006 --> 00:29:58,003
PASSED.
1269
00:29:58,003 --> 00:29:59,009
IT WAS REALLY COOL AND NOSTALGIC
1270
00:29:58,003 --> 00:29:59,009
TO KIND OF GO THROUGH IT AND
1271
00:29:59,009 --> 00:30:03,011
PIECE IT TOGETHER.
1272
00:29:59,009 --> 00:30:03,011
>> Seth: WELL IT'S REALLY --
1273
00:30:03,011 --> 00:30:04,029
IT'S REALLY A NICE DOCUMENT FOR,
1274
00:30:03,011 --> 00:30:04,029
YOU KNOW, THE MILLIONS OF FANS
1275
00:30:04,029 --> 00:30:09,003
WHO YOU MEANT SO MUCH TO.
1276
00:30:04,029 --> 00:30:09,003
AND IT'S REALLY COOL THAT YOU
1277
00:30:09,003 --> 00:30:09,029
WROTE IT.
1278
00:30:09,003 --> 00:30:09,029
CONGRATULATIONS SO MUCH ON THE
1279
00:30:09,029 --> 00:30:13,004
BOOK.
1280
00:30:09,029 --> 00:30:13,004
AND BEFORE YOU LEAVE, I KNOW YOU
1281
00:30:13,004 --> 00:30:14,026
ARE STILL WATCHING BASEBALL.
1282
00:30:13,004 --> 00:30:14,026
ANY PREDICTIONS AS WE'RE IN --
1283
00:30:14,026 --> 00:30:16,008
YOU KNOW, ENTERING I GUESS THE
1284
00:30:14,026 --> 00:30:16,008
END OF FIRST ROUND OF THIS CRAZY
1285
00:30:16,008 --> 00:30:21,016
PLAYOFFS?
1286
00:30:16,008 --> 00:30:21,016
>> I GUESS SINCE THE METS AND
1287
00:30:21,016 --> 00:30:23,024
THE PIRATES DIDN'T QUITE MAKE IT
1288
00:30:21,016 --> 00:30:23,024
TO THE PLAYOFFS, I WILL GO WITH
1289
00:30:23,024 --> 00:30:25,004
THE EASY CHOICE AND BEING OUT
1290
00:30:23,024 --> 00:30:25,004
HERE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, THE
1291
00:30:25,004 --> 00:30:28,019
DODGERS LOOK LIKE THEY ARE
1292
00:30:25,004 --> 00:30:28,019
PRETTY GOOD.
1293
00:30:28,019 --> 00:30:33,004
SO THAT IS THE EASY WAY OUT BUT
1294
00:30:28,019 --> 00:30:33,004
I WILL TAKE THE DODGERS.
1295
00:30:33,004 --> 00:30:34,006
>> Seth: THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
1296
00:30:33,004 --> 00:30:34,006
WITH THE EASY WAY OUT.
1297
00:30:34,006 --> 00:30:35,016
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING
1298
00:30:34,006 --> 00:30:35,016
HERE.
1299
00:30:35,016 --> 00:30:38,017
I REALLY APPRECIATE IT, DAVID.
1300
00:30:35,016 --> 00:30:38,017
>> SETH, IT WAS A PLEASURE.
1301
00:30:38,017 --> 00:30:40,023
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
1302
00:30:38,017 --> 00:30:40,023
>> Seth: "THE CAPTAIN" WILL BE
1303
00:30:40,023 --> 00:30:42,014
AVAILABLE OCTOBER 13TH WHEREVER
1304
00:30:40,023 --> 00:30:42,014
BOOKS ARE SOLD.
1305
00:30:42,014 --> 00:30:44,028
WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
1306
00:30:42,014 --> 00:30:44,028
MIRANDA JULY.
1307
00:30:44,028 --> 00:31:05,008
♪♪♪
1308
00:30:44,028 --> 00:31:05,008
>> Seth: OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN
1309
00:31:05,008 --> 00:31:07,001
ARTIST, ACTOR, WRITER AND
1310
00:31:05,008 --> 00:31:07,001
FILMMAKER.
1311
00:31:07,001 --> 00:31:09,027
HER MOVIE "KAJILLIONAIRE" IS IN
1312
00:31:07,001 --> 00:31:09,027
SELECT THEATERS NOW.
1313
00:31:09,027 --> 00:31:17,014
LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
1314
00:31:09,027 --> 00:31:17,014
>> BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE THE BIG
1315
00:31:17,014 --> 00:31:18,010
ONE STARTS.
1316
00:31:17,014 --> 00:31:18,010
BUT THE NOISE, IT JUST KEEPS
1317
00:31:18,010 --> 00:31:19,004
BUILDING AND BUILDING AND
1318
00:31:18,010 --> 00:31:19,004
BUILDING.
1319
00:31:19,004 --> 00:31:20,007
>> THIS ONE'S NOT BUILDING.
1320
00:31:19,004 --> 00:31:20,007
THE BIG ONE WILL BE LOUD.
1321
00:31:20,007 --> 00:31:21,004
HONEY, IF YOU'RE LUCKY, YOU'LL
1322
00:31:20,007 --> 00:31:21,004
GET CRUSH.
1323
00:31:21,004 --> 00:31:22,005
AND THEN, YOU WILL JUST DIE
1324
00:31:21,004 --> 00:31:22,005
RIGHT THEN AND THERE.
1325
00:31:22,005 --> 00:31:29,017
IMMEDIATELY.
1326
00:31:22,005 --> 00:31:29,017
A NEVER ENDING VOID.
1327
00:31:29,017 --> 00:31:34,010
>> WOW.
1328
00:31:29,017 --> 00:31:34,010
SO, YOLO.
1329
00:31:34,010 --> 00:31:35,010
>> Seth: PLEASE WELCOME TO THE
1330
00:31:34,010 --> 00:31:35,010
SHOW MIRANDA JULY.
1331
00:31:35,010 --> 00:31:36,003
HELLO, MIRANDA.
1332
00:31:35,010 --> 00:31:36,003
>> HI THERE, SETH.
1333
00:31:36,003 --> 00:31:38,019
>> Seth: I'M SO EXCITED YOU'RE
1334
00:31:36,003 --> 00:31:38,019
HERE.
1335
00:31:38,019 --> 00:31:39,019
WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO HAVE YOU
1336
00:31:38,019 --> 00:31:39,019
ON FOR A WHILE.
1337
00:31:39,019 --> 00:31:43,019
>> YEAH, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
1338
00:31:39,019 --> 00:31:43,019
REMEMBER.
1339
00:31:43,019 --> 00:31:46,018
WE ACTUALLY MET ONCE BEFORE.
1340
00:31:43,019 --> 00:31:46,018
>> Seth: I DIDN'T THINK THAT YOU
1341
00:31:46,018 --> 00:31:49,005
WOULD REMEMBER.
1342
00:31:46,018 --> 00:31:49,005
[ LAUGHTER ]
1343
00:31:49,005 --> 00:31:52,008
>> NO, I DO, I DO.
1344
00:31:49,005 --> 00:31:52,008
YOU WERE -- SO YOU WERE COMING
1345
00:31:52,008 --> 00:31:56,025
OUT OF AN ELEVATOR AND I WAS
1346
00:31:52,008 --> 00:31:56,025
GOING IN AND YOU TURNED -- DO
1347
00:31:56,025 --> 00:32:03,025
YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID TO
1348
00:31:56,025 --> 00:32:03,025
ME?
1349
00:32:03,025 --> 00:32:06,027
>> Seth: NOT --
1350
00:32:03,025 --> 00:32:06,027
>> YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU."
1351
00:32:06,027 --> 00:32:15,020
AND THEN, THE DOOR SHUT.
1352
00:32:06,027 --> 00:32:15,020
WHICH -- WHICH A LOT OF PEOPLE
1353
00:32:15,020 --> 00:32:16,015
MIGHT HAVE TAKEN THE WRONG WAY,
1354
00:32:15,020 --> 00:32:16,015
RIGHT?
1355
00:32:16,015 --> 00:32:19,023
LIKE, PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT
1356
00:32:16,015 --> 00:32:19,023
YOU MEANT I LOVE YOUR WORK OR
1357
00:32:19,023 --> 00:32:25,013
YOU'RE SO COOL, BUT I KNEW.
1358
00:32:19,023 --> 00:32:25,013
THAT YOU MEANT I LOVE YOU.
1359
00:32:25,013 --> 00:32:34,021
>> Seth: I DO.
1360
00:32:25,013 --> 00:32:34,021
>> I KNOW.
1361
00:32:34,021 --> 00:32:39,003
>> Seth: SO CAN WE TALK ABOUT
1362
00:32:34,021 --> 00:32:39,003
YOUR MOVIE "KAJILLIONAIRE?"
1363
00:32:39,003 --> 00:32:41,018
I THOUGHT IT WAS FANTASTIC.
1364
00:32:39,003 --> 00:32:41,018
>> THANK YOU.
1365
00:32:41,018 --> 00:32:46,001
>> Seth: IT'S -- IT'S A MOVIE
1366
00:32:41,018 --> 00:32:46,001
ABOUT LIKE LOW -- I WOULD SAY
1367
00:32:46,001 --> 00:32:47,011
LOWER TIER FAMILY OF CON MEN.
1368
00:32:46,001 --> 00:32:47,011
IS THAT AN ACCURATE WAY OF
1369
00:32:47,011 --> 00:32:54,001
DESCRIBING IT?
1370
00:32:47,011 --> 00:32:54,001
>> RIGHT, RIGHT, NOT VERY GOOD
1371
00:32:54,001 --> 00:32:58,027
AT THEIR JOB.
1372
00:32:54,001 --> 00:32:58,027
>> Seth: NOT PARTICULARLY GOOD
1373
00:32:58,027 --> 00:33:00,014
AND, YOU KNOW, I KNOW YOUR WORK
1374
00:32:58,027 --> 00:33:00,014
OVER THE YEARS AND AS WE HAVE
1375
00:33:00,014 --> 00:33:02,003
ESTABLISHED, I'M A FAN OF IT.
1376
00:33:00,014 --> 00:33:02,003
IT'S OFTEN AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL TO
1377
00:33:02,003 --> 00:33:04,010
SOME DEGREE.
1378
00:33:02,003 --> 00:33:04,010
IS THERE ANY OF YOU IN THIS
1379
00:33:04,010 --> 00:33:06,012
FAMILY?
1380
00:33:04,010 --> 00:33:06,012
ANY OF YOU IN THESE CHARACTERS?
1381
00:33:06,012 --> 00:33:09,024
>> DO YOU MEAN AM I A LOW-LEVEL
1382
00:33:06,012 --> 00:33:09,024
CON ARTIST?
1383
00:33:09,024 --> 00:33:20,021
>> Seth: WELL, YEAH, I GUESS
1384
00:33:09,024 --> 00:33:20,021
THAT IS WHAT I'M GETTING AT.
1385
00:33:20,021 --> 00:33:22,013
>> WELL, I WILL SAY IN THE LIKE,
1386
00:33:20,021 --> 00:33:22,013
EMBARRASSINGLY ENTITLED PUNK
1387
00:33:22,013 --> 00:33:23,020
YOUTH THAT I HAD, THERE WAS SORT
1388
00:33:22,013 --> 00:33:23,020
OF A CULTURE OF STEALING AND I
1389
00:33:23,020 --> 00:33:31,009
DID -- I STOPPED AND I DON'T
1390
00:33:23,020 --> 00:33:31,009
CONDONE THAT.
1391
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,017
I REMEMBER LIKE A TURNING POINT
1392
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,017
FOR ME WAS I WAS -- I WAS LIKE A
1393
00:33:32,017 --> 00:33:39,007
GUEST ARTIST, VISITING ARTIST.
1394
00:33:32,017 --> 00:33:39,007
I WAS 23.
1395
00:33:39,007 --> 00:33:40,011
I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN
1396
00:33:39,007 --> 00:33:40,011
COLLEGE, NOT BEING A GUEST
1397
00:33:40,011 --> 00:33:44,026
ARTIST, BUT I REMEMBER KIND OF
1398
00:33:40,011 --> 00:33:44,026
SCOPING OUT THE ROOM AS WAS MY
1399
00:33:44,026 --> 00:33:51,017
HABIT FOR WHAT I CAN TAKE ON THE
1400
00:33:44,026 --> 00:33:51,017
WAY OUT.
1401
00:33:51,017 --> 00:33:52,019
LIKE MAYBE A BOX OF CHALK OR
1402
00:33:51,017 --> 00:33:52,019
THAT VIDEO PROJECTOR OR
1403
00:33:52,019 --> 00:33:57,013
SOMETHING.
1404
00:33:52,019 --> 00:33:57,013
AND THEN, I CAUGHT MYSELF AND I
1405
00:33:57,013 --> 00:33:58,020
SUDDENLY REALIZED, OH, YOU CAN
1406
00:33:57,013 --> 00:33:58,020
EITHER BE THIS SORT OF RESPECTED
1407
00:33:58,020 --> 00:34:07,022
ARTIST PERSON OR YOU CAN HAVE
1408
00:33:58,020 --> 00:34:07,022
THE BOX OF CHALK.
1409
00:34:07,022 --> 00:34:08,021
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
1410
00:34:07,022 --> 00:34:08,021
AND I GUESS I MADE A CHOICE
1411
00:34:08,021 --> 00:34:13,000
THERE.
1412
00:34:08,021 --> 00:34:13,000
>> Seth: YEAH, THOSE WERE YOUR
1413
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,007
TWO PATHS.
1414
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,007
AND WE ARE CERTAINLY HAPPY WITH
1415
00:34:14,007 --> 00:34:17,011
THE ONE YOU PICKED.
1416
00:34:14,007 --> 00:34:17,011
I ALSO -- I'VE READ THAT YOU GOT
1417
00:34:17,011 --> 00:34:22,022
THIS IDEA SORT OF HALF ASLEEP,
1418
00:34:17,011 --> 00:34:22,022
THE IDEA FOR THIS FILM AND
1419
00:34:22,022 --> 00:34:23,027
USUALLY, I WOULD SAY MOST
1420
00:34:22,022 --> 00:34:23,027
WRITERS WOULD TELL YOU THE IDEAS
1421
00:34:23,027 --> 00:34:26,005
THEY GET WHEN YOU ARE HALF
1422
00:34:23,027 --> 00:34:26,005
ASLEEP, YOU WAKE UP IN THE
1423
00:34:26,005 --> 00:34:29,003
MORNING AND YOU REALIZE IT'S NOT
1424
00:34:26,005 --> 00:34:29,003
A PARTICULARLY GOOD IDEA.
1425
00:34:29,003 --> 00:34:33,013
HOW QUICKLY DID YOU KNOW THAT
1426
00:34:29,003 --> 00:34:33,013
THERE WAS SOMETHING HERE?
1427
00:34:33,013 --> 00:34:34,029
>> NOT VERY QUICKLY.
1428
00:34:33,013 --> 00:34:34,029
I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT FOR ALL
1429
00:34:34,029 --> 00:34:41,016
THE WRITERS OUT THERE.
1430
00:34:34,029 --> 00:34:41,016
I HAD TO WITHHOLD JUDGMENT.
1431
00:34:41,016 --> 00:34:42,024
YOU KNOW, IT SEEMED FOR THE
1432
00:34:41,016 --> 00:34:42,024
BETTER PART OF A YEAR LIKE KIND
1433
00:34:42,024 --> 00:34:45,014
OF A SILLY IDEA.
1434
00:34:42,024 --> 00:34:45,014
BUT, YOU KNOW, THE CONS AND WHAT
1435
00:34:45,014 --> 00:34:49,003
DOES THIS ALL MEAN?
1436
00:34:45,014 --> 00:34:49,003
WHY WASTE MY LIFE ON THIS?
1437
00:34:49,003 --> 00:34:50,024
AND THEN, I GOT TO THE END AND
1438
00:34:49,003 --> 00:34:50,024
READ IT BACK, AND IT KIND OF
1439
00:34:50,024 --> 00:34:55,008
PUNCHED ME IN THE GUT.
1440
00:34:50,024 --> 00:34:55,008
AND I GUESS AT THAT MOMENT, I
1441
00:34:55,008 --> 00:35:01,014
WAS LIKE, OH, MAYBE THAT IS THE
1442
00:34:55,008 --> 00:35:01,014
MOVIE.
1443
00:35:01,014 --> 00:35:02,016
MAYBE THAT'S THE RIDE.
1444
00:35:01,014 --> 00:35:02,016
LIKE YOU'RE LAUGHING, YOU'RE
1445
00:35:02,016 --> 00:35:03,026
LAUGHING, YOU'RE LAUGHING,
1446
00:35:02,016 --> 00:35:03,026
YOU'RE CRYING.
1447
00:35:03,026 --> 00:35:05,002
>> Seth: AND THIS IS A FILM
1448
00:35:03,026 --> 00:35:05,002
THAT, I MEAN, ANXIETY IS A REAL
1449
00:35:05,002 --> 00:35:12,006
THEME OF THIS FILM.
1450
00:35:05,002 --> 00:35:12,006
NOT JUST THE IDEA OF AN
1451
00:35:12,006 --> 00:35:16,013
EARTHQUAKE, BUT ALSO FINANCIAL,
1452
00:35:12,006 --> 00:35:16,013
ECONOMIC, AND FAMILY ANXIETY,
1453
00:35:16,013 --> 00:35:17,023
AND IT MUST BE SO STRANGE SO
1454
00:35:16,013 --> 00:35:17,023
HAVE IT COME OUT AT A TIME --
1455
00:35:17,023 --> 00:35:19,006
OBVIOUSLY, YOU MADE IT BEFORE
1456
00:35:17,023 --> 00:35:19,006
ALL THIS HAPPENED.
1457
00:35:19,006 --> 00:35:23,005
IN THIS HOT BED OF ANXIETY NOW.
1458
00:35:19,006 --> 00:35:23,005
>> YEAH.
1459
00:35:23,005 --> 00:35:29,006
I KNOW IT'S SO STRANGE.
1460
00:35:23,005 --> 00:35:29,006
THAT ANXIETY WAS REALLY PERSONAL
1461
00:35:29,006 --> 00:35:31,001
TO ME, AND A LOT OF THE THEMES,
1462
00:35:29,006 --> 00:35:31,001
LIKE THE SENSITIVITY TO TOUCH
1463
00:35:31,001 --> 00:35:41,008
AND JUST THE STRANGENESS OF THIS
1464
00:35:31,001 --> 00:35:41,008
LEAD CHARACTER, OLD DOLIO IS HER
1465
00:35:41,008 --> 00:35:45,024
NAME, PLAYED BY
1466
00:35:41,008 --> 00:35:45,024
EVAN RACHEL WOOD.
1467
00:35:45,024 --> 00:35:46,028
AND NOW, SUDDENLY THOSE SUBTLE
1468
00:35:45,024 --> 00:35:46,028
THEMES ARE LIKE FRONT AND
1469
00:35:46,028 --> 00:35:50,028
CENTER.
1470
00:35:46,028 --> 00:35:50,028
LIKE, THOSE ARE NOT MY WEIRD
1471
00:35:50,028 --> 00:35:54,015
THINGS.
1472
00:35:50,028 --> 00:35:54,015
THAT'S LIKE THE WORLD'S WEIRD
1473
00:35:54,015 --> 00:35:58,026
THING NOW.
1474
00:35:54,015 --> 00:35:58,026
WE ARE ALL OLD DOLIO.
1475
00:35:58,026 --> 00:35:59,026
>> Seth: I ALSO WANT TO
1476
00:35:58,026 --> 00:35:59,026
CONGRATULATE YOU ON THIS
1477
00:35:59,026 --> 00:36:01,003
MONOGRAPH, THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT
1478
00:35:59,026 --> 00:36:01,003
YOU THAT YOU HAD OTHER PEOPLE
1479
00:36:01,003 --> 00:36:13,000
BASICALLY CONTRIBUTE.
1480
00:36:01,003 --> 00:36:13,000
I THINK IT'S LIKE 80 PEOPLE THAT
1481
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:17,000
BASICALLY TALK ABOUT YOU.
1482
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:17,000
WAS THAT TERRIFYING TO TURN
1483
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,015
OVER, SORT OF GIVE THE KEYS TO
1484
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,015
FAMILIES AND FRIENDS TO TELL
1485
00:36:18,015 --> 00:36:22,019
YOUR STORY?
1486
00:36:18,015 --> 00:36:22,019
>> YEAH, I THINK I THOUGHT I
1487
00:36:22,019 --> 00:36:24,007
WOULD LIKE THAT.
1488
00:36:22,019 --> 00:36:24,007
YOU KNOW HOW YOU SECRETLY FEAR
1489
00:36:24,007 --> 00:36:27,025
THAT YOU'RE A NARCISSIST?
1490
00:36:24,007 --> 00:36:27,025
YOU KNOW, LIKE MAYBE YOU TAKE
1491
00:36:27,025 --> 00:36:33,000
THE NARCISSIST TEST ONLINE AND
1492
00:36:27,025 --> 00:36:33,000
YOU'RE LIKE, AM I?
1493
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,007
AND I FOUND OUT, REAL QUICK,
1494
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,007
LIKE ACTUALLY, IT TURNS OUT I'M
1495
00:36:34,007 --> 00:36:37,028
NOT.
1496
00:36:34,007 --> 00:36:37,028
LIKE I HIT THINK THRESHOLD
1497
00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:44,011
IMMEDIATELY AND JUST HAD TO
1498
00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:44,011
DISASSOCIATE FOR MOST OF THE
1499
00:36:44,011 --> 00:36:48,011
EXPERIENCE OF MAKING THAT BOOK
1500
00:36:44,011 --> 00:36:48,011
AND PRETEND THAT EVERYBODY WAS
1501
00:36:48,011 --> 00:36:52,010
TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE AND I
1502
00:36:48,011 --> 00:36:52,010
WAS JUST MAYBE WORKING FOR THAT
1503
00:36:52,010 --> 00:36:53,017
PERSON, MAKING HER BOOK FOR HER.
1504
00:36:52,010 --> 00:36:53,017
>> Seth: IT MUST BE SO STRANGE
1505
00:36:53,017 --> 00:36:59,021
TOO.
1506
00:36:53,017 --> 00:36:59,021
BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY PEOPLE ARE
1507
00:36:59,021 --> 00:37:01,003
GIVING YOU MATERIALS, AND THEN,
1508
00:36:59,021 --> 00:37:01,003
YOU HAVE TO -- BECAUSE PART OF
1509
00:37:01,003 --> 00:37:02,008
IT IS YOU TAKE YOURSELF OUT OF
1510
00:37:01,003 --> 00:37:02,008
IT, RIGHT, AND THEN, YOU GET
1511
00:37:02,008 --> 00:37:03,004
THIS INCREDIBLE REFLECTION OF
1512
00:37:02,008 --> 00:37:03,004
SOMEBODY.
1513
00:37:03,004 --> 00:37:04,016
BECAUSE I THINK SOMETIMES WITH
1514
00:37:03,004 --> 00:37:04,016
AUTOBIOGRAPHIES, YOU KNOW, YOU
1515
00:37:04,016 --> 00:37:08,003
ARE OBVIOUSLY GETTING ONE
1516
00:37:04,016 --> 00:37:08,003
PERSON'S PERSPECTIVE.
1517
00:37:08,003 --> 00:37:09,011
IT'S SO MULTI-LAYERED TO HAVE A
1518
00:37:08,003 --> 00:37:09,011
BUNCH OF PEOPLE, BUT AT THE SAME
1519
00:37:09,011 --> 00:37:10,018
TIME, YOU ARE THE GATE KEEPER.
1520
00:37:09,011 --> 00:37:10,018
WAS THAT A WEIRD RESPONSIBILITY
1521
00:37:10,018 --> 00:37:14,017
TO HAVE?
1522
00:37:10,018 --> 00:37:14,017
>> I THINK I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
1523
00:37:14,017 --> 00:37:18,024
MORE ACCURATE THAT WAY.
1524
00:37:14,017 --> 00:37:18,024
LIKE, I WAS ACTUALLY ASSIGNED TO
1525
00:37:18,024 --> 00:37:21,007
WRITE ABOUT MYSELF AND
1526
00:37:18,024 --> 00:37:21,007
EVERYTHING I STARTED TO WRITE
1527
00:37:21,007 --> 00:37:26,002
DIDN'T -- IT DIDN'T SEEM TRUE.
1528
00:37:21,007 --> 00:37:26,002
EVERYTHING WAS TRUE BUT IT
1529
00:37:26,002 --> 00:37:34,024
DIDN'T ADD UP TO THE TRUTH, YOU
1530
00:37:26,002 --> 00:37:34,024
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
1531
00:37:34,024 --> 00:37:35,026
AND SO, EVEN IF SOME OF MY
1532
00:37:34,024 --> 00:37:35,026
FRIENDS ARE COLLABORATING
1533
00:37:35,026 --> 00:37:37,003
STORIES ARE LIKE A LITTLE OFF OR
1534
00:37:35,026 --> 00:37:37,003
IT'S LIKE JUST THEIR VERSION,
1535
00:37:37,003 --> 00:37:42,015
SOMEHOW COLLECTIVELY, IT'S MORE
1536
00:37:37,003 --> 00:37:42,015
A LIFE.
1537
00:37:42,015 --> 00:37:46,014
>> Seth: IT'S REALLY WONDERFUL,
1538
00:37:42,015 --> 00:37:46,014
AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE, BEFORE
1539
00:37:46,014 --> 00:37:47,020
YOU GO, I SHOULD SAY THAT THE
1540
00:37:46,014 --> 00:37:47,020
MANY THINGS YOU HAVE DONE, ONE
1541
00:37:47,020 --> 00:37:49,018
OF MY FAVORITE THINGS YOU EVER
1542
00:37:47,020 --> 00:37:49,018
DID WAS AN INTERVIEW WITH
1543
00:37:49,018 --> 00:37:54,012
RIHANNA, I BELIEVE IN THE
1544
00:37:49,018 --> 00:37:54,012
"NEW YORK TIMES" BACK IN 2015.
1545
00:37:54,012 --> 00:37:57,000
YOU KNOW, I HAVE LONG BEEN
1546
00:37:54,012 --> 00:37:57,000
ENAMORED WITH RIHANNA.
1547
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:58,022
BUT THAT INTERVIEW WAS THE FIRST
1548
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:58,022
TIME I REALIZED TRULY HOW FUN
1549
00:37:58,022 --> 00:38:04,026
SHE WAS.
1550
00:37:58,022 --> 00:38:04,026
WAS THAT AS MUCH FUN TO
1551
00:38:04,026 --> 00:38:09,005
BASICALLY SPEND THAT TIME WITH
1552
00:38:04,026 --> 00:38:09,005
HER AS IT WAS TO READ?
1553
00:38:09,005 --> 00:38:13,025
>> YES, I MEAN, WE BOTH ARE
1554
00:38:09,005 --> 00:38:13,025
DRUNK WITH RIHANNA.
1555
00:38:13,025 --> 00:38:14,025
>> Seth: WE KNOW.
1556
00:38:13,025 --> 00:38:14,025
YEAH.
1557
00:38:14,025 --> 00:38:17,010
>> ALTHOUGH, SHE WAS DRUNK
1558
00:38:14,025 --> 00:38:17,010
WITH --
1559
00:38:17,010 --> 00:38:19,004
I THINK I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO
1560
00:38:17,010 --> 00:38:19,004
WOULD LIKE NERVOUSLY DRUNKEN
1561
00:38:19,004 --> 00:38:21,012
MYSELF.
1562
00:38:19,004 --> 00:38:21,012
I MEAN, I -- YEAH, IT MEAN,
1563
00:38:21,012 --> 00:38:27,006
SHE'S JUST SO LOVELY.
1564
00:38:21,012 --> 00:38:27,006
RIGHT?
1565
00:38:27,006 --> 00:38:28,011
>> Seth: YEAH.
1566
00:38:27,006 --> 00:38:28,011
>> I'M SO JEALOUS THAT YOU
1567
00:38:28,011 --> 00:38:31,014
REALLY HUNG OUT WITH HER LIKE
1568
00:38:28,011 --> 00:38:31,014
THAT.
1569
00:38:31,014 --> 00:38:32,026
>> Seth: YEAH, I'M JUST SO SAD
1570
00:38:31,014 --> 00:38:32,026
IT'S OVER.
1571
00:38:32,026 --> 00:38:35,018
AND IT'S BEEN OVER FOR LIKE OVER
1572
00:38:32,026 --> 00:38:35,018
A YEAR.
1573
00:38:35,018 --> 00:38:36,024
I'M STILL JUST LIKE WORKING
1574
00:38:35,018 --> 00:38:36,024
THROUGH, THAT IT'S PROBABLY NOT
1575
00:38:36,024 --> 00:38:42,020
GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN.
1576
00:38:36,024 --> 00:38:42,020
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
1577
00:38:42,020 --> 00:38:43,026
>> I REMEMBER HER ASSISTANT --
1578
00:38:42,020 --> 00:38:43,026
LIKE, I HAD TO DO SOME LAST
1579
00:38:43,026 --> 00:38:45,017
MINUTE FACT CHECKING OR
1580
00:38:43,026 --> 00:38:45,017
SOMETHING, AND HER ASSISTANT
1581
00:38:45,017 --> 00:38:50,004
SIGNED OFF SAYING SOMETHING
1582
00:38:45,017 --> 00:38:50,004
LIKE, YOU KNOW, "SEE YOU AROUND"
1583
00:38:50,004 --> 00:38:53,014
OR SOMETHING.
1584
00:38:50,004 --> 00:38:53,014
AND FOR THE WHOLE LIKE NEXT
1585
00:38:53,014 --> 00:38:56,020
WEEK, I WAS LIKE, READY.
1586
00:38:53,014 --> 00:38:56,020
LIKE THEY WERE GOING TO CALL ME
1587
00:38:56,020 --> 00:39:00,007
TO HANG OUT.
1588
00:38:56,020 --> 00:39:00,007
AND I WAS LIKE, TELLING
1589
00:39:00,007 --> 00:39:03,015
EVERYONE, I DON'T KNOW, WE
1590
00:39:00,007 --> 00:39:03,015
HAVE -- YOU KNOW, SHE SAID, "SEE
1591
00:39:03,015 --> 00:39:05,017
YOU AROUND."
1592
00:39:03,015 --> 00:39:05,017
SO THAT'S -- YOU KNOW, IT'S
1593
00:39:05,017 --> 00:39:07,010
PROBABLY IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS.
1594
00:39:05,017 --> 00:39:07,010
AND THEN, SOMEONE POINTED OUT,
1595
00:39:07,010 --> 00:39:08,023
LIKE, THAT IS JUST WHAT
1596
00:39:07,010 --> 00:39:08,023
PEOPLE --
1597
00:39:08,023 --> 00:39:12,027
THAT'S LIKE BYE.
1598
00:39:08,023 --> 00:39:12,027
>> Seth: YEAH, BECAUSE THAT
1599
00:39:12,027 --> 00:39:13,029
WAS 2015.
1600
00:39:12,027 --> 00:39:13,029
I FEEL LIKE THOSE PLANS WOULD
1601
00:39:13,029 --> 00:39:16,000
HAVE PROBABLY FIRMED UP BY NOW.
1602
00:39:13,029 --> 00:39:16,000
>> I MEAN, I GUESS, YEAH, NO,
1603
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:24,005
YOU'RE RIGHT.
1604
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:24,005
>> Seth: MIRANDA, IT'S BEEN SO
1605
00:39:24,005 --> 00:39:27,001
LOVELY TO HAVE YOU HERE.
1606
00:39:24,005 --> 00:39:27,001
THE FILM IS GREAT.
1607
00:39:27,001 --> 00:39:30,003
CONGRATULATIONS ON THE BOOK AS
1608
00:39:27,001 --> 00:39:30,003
WELL, AND I WOULD LIKE TO CLOSE
1609
00:39:30,003 --> 00:39:34,016
THE WAY WE BEGAN BY SAYING I
1610
00:39:30,003 --> 00:39:34,016
LOVE YOU.
1611
00:39:34,016 --> 00:39:35,008
>> THANK YOU.
1612
00:39:34,016 --> 00:39:35,008
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
1613
00:39:35,008 --> 00:39:36,009
>> Seth: "KAJILLIONAIRE" IS IN
1614
00:39:35,008 --> 00:39:36,009
SELECT THEATERS NOW.
1615
00:39:36,009 --> 00:39:49,000
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
1616
00:39:36,009 --> 00:39:49,000
♪♪♪
1617
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:49,027
>> Announcer: FOR MORE
1618
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:49,027
"LATE NIGHT," GO TO
1619
00:39:49,027 --> 00:39:51,017
LATENIGHTSETH.COM.
1620
00:39:49,027 --> 00:39:51,017
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM AND
1621
00:39:51,017 --> 00:39:53,013
TWITTER @LATENIGHTSETH.
1622
00:39:51,017 --> 00:39:53,013
AND BE SURE TO CHECK US OUT ON
1623
00:39:53,013 --> 00:39:56,000
YOUTUBE AND FACEBOOK.
1624
00:39:53,013 --> 00:39:56,000
HEAD OVER TO iTUNES TO SUBSCRIBE
1625
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,014
TO THE "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH
1626
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,014
MEYERS" PODCAST.
1627
00:39:58,014 --> 00:40:00,007
YOU'LL GET "A CLOSER LOOK" AND
1628
00:39:58,014 --> 00:40:00,007
MORE DOWNLOADED RIGHT TO YOUR
1629
00:40:00,007 --> 00:40:12,024
PHONE.
104629
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