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1
00:00:02,387 --> 00:00:04,355
(upbeat music)
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00:00:04,355 --> 00:00:08,229
- [Narrator] Working hard
so you don't have to.
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00:00:08,229 --> 00:00:10,657
Conglomerated Assets.
4
00:00:10,657 --> 00:00:13,191
Our portfolio of stocks
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00:00:13,191 --> 00:00:16,936
get a rise out of everyone.
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00:00:16,936 --> 00:00:18,801
Conglomerated Assets.
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00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:20,280
(phone buzzes)
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00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:22,731
Keeping you abreast
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00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:25,928
of the latest market fluctuations
10
00:00:25,928 --> 00:00:29,277
so you come out a winner.
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00:00:29,277 --> 00:00:31,027
Conglomerated Assets.
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00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:35,273
(sighs)
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00:00:35,273 --> 00:00:39,440
("Beautiful Mess" by David Thiele)
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00:00:50,052 --> 00:00:52,261
♫ I was out in this big blue world
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♫ With the future wide open
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♫ Standing right in front of me
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♫ Everything I dreamed
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00:01:00,499 --> 00:01:03,270
♫ I could see it too clearly then
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00:01:03,270 --> 00:01:07,875
♫ 'Til you came along, met
me down on Lonely Street
20
00:01:07,875 --> 00:01:11,268
♫ That was when I lost my beat
21
00:01:11,268 --> 00:01:13,888
♫ Slow down
22
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♫ One more step in every
single direction, love
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♫ Just to make sure, love
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♫ Won't stop 'til I cover every angle
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(Wall Street radio)
26
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,588
- Oh! Crap!
27
00:01:32,395 --> 00:01:33,433
- Uh.
28
00:01:33,433 --> 00:01:34,266
- Crap!
29
00:01:36,714 --> 00:01:38,464
Do not help me.
30
00:01:41,377 --> 00:01:44,294
- I'm sorry. I wasn't trying--
31
00:01:45,945 --> 00:01:49,278
- Save it, mail room. I'm late.
32
00:01:58,253 --> 00:01:59,089
What?
33
00:01:59,089 --> 00:02:00,723
- Never do anal when you're wearing white.
34
00:02:00,723 --> 00:02:01,556
- Seriously?
35
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- Cum stained front--
- Stop! Just stop.
36
00:02:04,111 --> 00:02:05,115
I need a clean shirt.
37
00:02:05,115 --> 00:02:06,507
- I'd give you mine, but are missing
38
00:02:06,507 --> 00:02:08,444
certain pieces.
- Stop!
39
00:02:08,444 --> 00:02:10,611
- That's not what he said.
40
00:02:30,643 --> 00:02:33,787
- It's not casual Friday again,
is it? I always miss that.
41
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:37,954
- No, it's Rudy's black
Monday. Shirt off your back?
42
00:02:40,009 --> 00:02:44,176
- Usually I get dinner before
they have their way with me.
43
00:02:48,548 --> 00:02:51,381
- I'll buy you a new one at lunch.
44
00:02:56,404 --> 00:02:57,237
- Shit.
45
00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:12,703
(throat clearing)
46
00:03:15,239 --> 00:03:17,802
- Excuse me Senior, it's time to--
47
00:03:17,802 --> 00:03:18,635
Senior?
48
00:03:24,267 --> 00:03:26,864
Crap, crap, crap!
49
00:03:26,864 --> 00:03:28,378
(throat clearing)
50
00:03:28,378 --> 00:03:31,075
- So everyone, here he
is, our newest hire,
51
00:03:31,075 --> 00:03:33,010
fresh from his Stanford MBA.
52
00:03:33,010 --> 00:03:34,829
You can all just call him "Junior"
53
00:03:34,829 --> 00:03:36,769
because, well, he's my son.
54
00:03:36,769 --> 00:03:38,936
- [Rudy] Crap, crap, crap!
55
00:03:39,832 --> 00:03:43,082
Crap. Shirt. Spilled. Late. Sorry.
56
00:03:43,980 --> 00:03:45,647
- Okay, well that's all for today.
57
00:03:45,647 --> 00:03:47,568
If you'll all excuse me.
58
00:03:47,568 --> 00:03:50,781
(text alert)
59
00:03:50,781 --> 00:03:55,179
Well, I seem to have forgotten
to mention I'm retiring.
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00:03:55,179 --> 00:03:56,121
Today.
61
00:03:56,121 --> 00:03:56,954
- What?
62
00:03:59,207 --> 00:04:01,351
- There will be a formal
announcement later on,
63
00:04:01,351 --> 00:04:02,944
but I wanted you to know now.
64
00:04:02,944 --> 00:04:05,303
Which is why I brought in Junior.
65
00:04:05,303 --> 00:04:07,243
I know it's a surprise,
66
00:04:07,243 --> 00:04:09,826
but Junior please. A few words.
67
00:04:11,530 --> 00:04:15,280
- Dad seriously?
- Just tell them your vision.
68
00:04:16,450 --> 00:04:17,814
- 20/20.
69
00:04:17,814 --> 00:04:20,471
(laughs)
70
00:04:20,471 --> 00:04:23,280
- Your vision for Conglomerated Assets.
71
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,280
- My vision.
72
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:29,033
Nothing will change.
73
00:04:30,324 --> 00:04:31,782
No sir, nothing.
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00:04:31,782 --> 00:04:34,464
Conglomerated will run as
it has all these years,
75
00:04:34,464 --> 00:04:38,659
with a Rigby at the forefront to guide me.
76
00:04:38,659 --> 00:04:40,742
You. To guide all of you.
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00:04:43,218 --> 00:04:44,327
That is all.
78
00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:47,159
- Well said, Junior. Lunch?
79
00:04:47,159 --> 00:04:50,217
- It's only 9:30, sir.
80
00:04:50,217 --> 00:04:51,943
- Oh. Oh good!
81
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:54,360
So I have time to get a
round in before lunch.
82
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,508
(laughs)
83
00:04:55,508 --> 00:04:56,841
Excuse me.
84
00:04:58,813 --> 00:05:00,563
Good luck, son.
85
00:05:04,267 --> 00:05:06,175
- You knew.
- I did not.
86
00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:07,829
- Yes you did and you were late.
87
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,366
- What does it matter if I was late?
88
00:05:09,366 --> 00:05:10,896
He was going to retire anyway.
89
00:05:10,896 --> 00:05:12,243
- You were late!
90
00:05:12,243 --> 00:05:14,702
And since we still don't
have a Marketing Director,
91
00:05:14,702 --> 00:05:17,114
these dick wads just
approved an ad campaign
92
00:05:17,114 --> 00:05:19,441
that Chase and the Oink
Squad put together.
93
00:05:19,441 --> 00:05:20,800
- I thought I nipped that in the butt.
94
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:24,967
- No you didn't. Nips on full
display. See for yourself!
95
00:05:25,810 --> 00:05:27,633
- Oh man.
- Nope.
96
00:05:27,633 --> 00:05:31,176
Not one in there. Just the jiggle patrol.
97
00:05:31,176 --> 00:05:33,279
Look, I am a IT specialist, okay?
98
00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:34,657
I don't do porn for real.
99
00:05:34,657 --> 00:05:37,347
If I wanted to do porn, I would
have moved out to the valley
100
00:05:37,347 --> 00:05:39,925
and had silicone put in my punnany.
101
00:05:39,925 --> 00:05:41,407
- What?
- I'm the one who
102
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,656
has to upload that onto the webpage.
103
00:05:43,656 --> 00:05:47,156
I don't think so, Rudy. I do not think so!
104
00:05:48,445 --> 00:05:49,445
- I'm on it.
105
00:05:50,988 --> 00:05:54,146
- My grandmother did not raise
me to be no pussy-pusher.
106
00:05:54,146 --> 00:05:56,565
Do I look like a pimp?
107
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,837
- Excuse me?
108
00:05:57,837 --> 00:06:00,754
- I said, "do I look like a pimp?".
109
00:06:07,494 --> 00:06:09,661
(banging)
110
00:06:12,152 --> 00:06:16,643
- This a bad time? You may
remember me. Mail room.
111
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,555
Actually, I prefer Donald.
112
00:06:18,555 --> 00:06:20,517
I don't really like being called "Junior".
113
00:06:20,517 --> 00:06:24,999
- Hey, Junior! Just heard.
Congrats! Way to go, dude.
114
00:06:24,999 --> 00:06:27,458
- And you are?
- I'm Chase!
115
00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:30,878
Chase Conner. Me and
your dad, we go way back.
116
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- To the company picnic.
117
00:06:32,743 --> 00:06:36,077
- I can tell him, right?
See we're friends,
118
00:06:36,077 --> 00:06:38,506
like with benefits.
- We are not!
119
00:06:38,506 --> 00:06:41,963
- Yeah, it's just a little
joke 'cause it's a dude thing.
120
00:06:41,963 --> 00:06:43,242
What!
121
00:06:43,242 --> 00:06:45,535
- I don't speak dude.
122
00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:49,535
- Take it away. Alright. I am out.
123
00:06:50,802 --> 00:06:53,094
(robotic sounds)
124
00:06:53,094 --> 00:06:55,344
(moaning)
125
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:57,550
Splat!
126
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,252
- Okay.
127
00:07:02,243 --> 00:07:04,326
Look, I know to you I started out as
128
00:07:04,326 --> 00:07:07,675
mail room and ended up as--
- Junior.
129
00:07:07,675 --> 00:07:09,214
- Right, but as I said,
130
00:07:09,214 --> 00:07:11,490
I'm uncomfortable--
- Junior?
131
00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:15,826
No one mentioned we landed
such a stud as a CEO.
132
00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:18,576
I'm Quincy. You a cowboy, Junior?
133
00:07:20,542 --> 00:07:22,191
- I'm sorry. Do you work here?
134
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:24,093
- I'm in sales. Highest performer
135
00:07:24,093 --> 00:07:27,854
so your Daddy made me
manager last quarter.
136
00:07:27,854 --> 00:07:30,346
But you know manager isn't as high as
137
00:07:30,346 --> 00:07:33,816
Senior V.P. of Marketing.
138
00:07:33,816 --> 00:07:34,680
- What?
139
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,377
- It's good to have
goals, don't you think?
140
00:07:37,377 --> 00:07:40,417
- I do. I think, I mean, often.
141
00:07:40,417 --> 00:07:41,971
- [Quincy] I bet you do.
142
00:07:41,971 --> 00:07:44,501
Don't take too long to come and see me.
143
00:07:44,501 --> 00:07:48,501
You know, I'm right under
you on the 30th floor.
144
00:07:52,031 --> 00:07:56,031
Isn't that funny? You'll
always be on top of me.
145
00:07:58,623 --> 00:07:59,623
- Hilarious.
146
00:08:09,427 --> 00:08:11,525
(buzz)
147
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:12,861
- Did you see that?
148
00:08:12,861 --> 00:08:15,574
- Duh. Damn Quincy's always
getting ahead on her behind.
149
00:08:15,574 --> 00:08:17,168
- It is a curvy behind.
150
00:08:17,168 --> 00:08:18,492
- Please. If you were to take a quarter
151
00:08:18,492 --> 00:08:19,498
and toss it on that behind,
152
00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:21,402
your raid velocity with
which that quarter repelled
153
00:08:21,402 --> 00:08:24,684
would not take it the meter
to qualify as a badonkadonk.
154
00:08:24,684 --> 00:08:25,543
- What?
155
00:08:25,543 --> 00:08:27,289
- Qwerty meeting. Break room.
156
00:08:27,289 --> 00:08:29,984
- Could you please stop
with the Qwerty reference?
157
00:08:29,984 --> 00:08:30,906
- You type it on a keyboard?
158
00:08:30,906 --> 00:08:32,577
- Yes.
- Well if you ain't the one
159
00:08:32,577 --> 00:08:34,226
ordering what's to be
typed on that keyboard,
160
00:08:34,226 --> 00:08:35,754
you're a Qwerty, Beotch!
161
00:08:35,754 --> 00:08:37,090
- Yes.
162
00:08:37,090 --> 00:08:38,668
- Make it a fresh pot of coffee.
163
00:08:38,668 --> 00:08:40,835
- [Rudy] Be there in five.
164
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:43,110
(buzz)
165
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:43,943
Junior?
166
00:08:47,459 --> 00:08:48,292
Junior.
167
00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:51,600
Junior!
168
00:08:54,539 --> 00:08:56,248
Would it be too much to ask for you
169
00:08:56,248 --> 00:08:58,326
to pick up the phone, Junior?
170
00:08:58,326 --> 00:09:02,040
- Oh. I didn't even know
you were trying to...
171
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,623
Where's the button?
172
00:09:07,125 --> 00:09:09,042
(buzz)
173
00:09:09,919 --> 00:09:10,836
- Stanford.
174
00:09:12,866 --> 00:09:15,396
- Who are they?
- Your 10 o'clock.
175
00:09:15,396 --> 00:09:18,396
I'm taking my break now. Bye!
- Rudy!
176
00:09:19,331 --> 00:09:20,164
Rudy!
177
00:09:24,462 --> 00:09:25,652
- What's with the shirt?
178
00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:29,652
- I had to take the bus
cause my car broke down.
179
00:09:30,525 --> 00:09:32,405
Then just steps away from the building,
180
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,055
Junior dumps coffee all over me.
181
00:09:34,055 --> 00:09:36,561
Drops a box on my foot, grabs my boob.
182
00:09:36,561 --> 00:09:38,142
Did I forget anything? Oh yeah.
183
00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:40,374
Then I called him "mail room".
- Damn.
184
00:09:40,374 --> 00:09:41,574
Do you know the odds of that happening
185
00:09:41,574 --> 00:09:43,027
on the very day you meet your new boss
186
00:09:43,027 --> 00:09:44,519
are about 1 in 75,000.
187
00:09:44,519 --> 00:09:45,597
- How do you figure?
188
00:09:45,597 --> 00:09:47,223
- You take the classic A over F.
189
00:09:47,223 --> 00:09:49,460
- Oh nevermind. Pour. The good stuff.
190
00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:50,624
- Is that fresh?
191
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,686
- As a 14-year-old with a bad attitude.
192
00:09:52,686 --> 00:09:55,032
- Well then load me up. So,
193
00:09:55,032 --> 00:09:56,878
what do you two think of Junior?
194
00:09:56,878 --> 00:09:57,936
- He's gonna fire Rudy for sure.
195
00:09:57,936 --> 00:09:58,787
- Really?
196
00:09:58,787 --> 00:10:00,658
- In my calculations,
there's a one in five chance.
197
00:10:00,658 --> 00:10:02,683
You see I take the N,
as in "no she didn't",
198
00:10:02,683 --> 00:10:05,012
and multiply it by the Y, as
in "why she ain't packin'?
199
00:10:05,012 --> 00:10:06,384
"I don't know". Then I come up with D,
200
00:10:06,384 --> 00:10:08,423
"don't let the glass ceiling
hit your ass on the way out".
201
00:10:08,423 --> 00:10:10,563
- He's not going to fire me!
202
00:10:10,563 --> 00:10:12,593
Okay, okay, he might fire me.
203
00:10:12,593 --> 00:10:14,423
I mean, I did call him "mail room"
204
00:10:14,423 --> 00:10:16,058
when he spilled coffee on me.
205
00:10:16,058 --> 00:10:18,002
Oh God! My shirt!
- My assistant picked up my
206
00:10:18,002 --> 00:10:21,083
dry cleaning this morning.
I gave him your shirt.
207
00:10:21,083 --> 00:10:22,659
Should be done by five.
208
00:10:22,659 --> 00:10:25,686
- You're an angel.
- And you are an asset.
209
00:10:25,686 --> 00:10:27,517
(throat clearing)
210
00:10:27,517 --> 00:10:29,286
I hope you don't get fired, Rudy.
211
00:10:29,286 --> 00:10:31,684
- Well if I do, you'll
all know within an hour
212
00:10:31,684 --> 00:10:33,947
when this place goes to
hell in a hand basket.
213
00:10:33,947 --> 00:10:35,367
Stanford over there
doesn't even know how to
214
00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:36,910
turn on the intercom.
215
00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:39,894
I.V. League? What. Ever.
216
00:10:39,894 --> 00:10:41,938
- Well I went to Brown.
- M.I.T.
217
00:10:41,938 --> 00:10:43,534
- [Quincy] Harvard and I say he's gay.
218
00:10:43,534 --> 00:10:44,916
- Really?
- [Quincy] Really.
219
00:10:44,916 --> 00:10:47,053
- What makes you say that?
- I can tell.
220
00:10:47,053 --> 00:10:48,482
- He's not gay.
221
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,339
- The flag pole didn't salute.
222
00:10:50,339 --> 00:10:52,654
- Yes it did!
- Gross!
223
00:10:52,654 --> 00:10:53,829
- Still, he's kind of cute, though.
224
00:10:53,829 --> 00:10:54,972
- Shut up.
225
00:10:54,972 --> 00:10:56,864
- He's a gay biscuit I
would love to butter.
226
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:57,697
- Quincy!
227
00:10:57,697 --> 00:11:00,785
- Mm. I would drink his biscuit.
228
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:03,035
(slurping)
229
00:11:04,749 --> 00:11:06,906
I would drink it down.
230
00:11:06,906 --> 00:11:08,826
- And get a promotion in the process?
231
00:11:08,826 --> 00:11:10,793
You know the odds of getting
fired rather than promoted
232
00:11:10,793 --> 00:11:13,112
when sleeping with the
boss are actually 70/30?
233
00:11:13,112 --> 00:11:15,940
- What?
- 70% of your ass is grass.
234
00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:18,384
Never a good idea to
dip in the company ink.
235
00:11:18,384 --> 00:11:21,193
- Well, what about blow jobs?
236
00:11:21,193 --> 00:11:23,605
- Leaving! Leaving! Now!
237
00:11:23,605 --> 00:11:27,292
Because I'm the one who has
to deal with the biscuit.
238
00:11:27,292 --> 00:11:30,088
I mean, Junior. So stop.
239
00:11:30,088 --> 00:11:31,838
Okay? Just stop.
240
00:11:35,106 --> 00:11:37,689
(hip-hop beat)
241
00:11:42,698 --> 00:11:45,531
- Senior?
- Rudy. Come on in. Yes.
242
00:11:53,502 --> 00:11:54,549
Oh, thank you.
243
00:11:54,549 --> 00:11:56,944
- Senior, you should have told me.
244
00:11:56,944 --> 00:11:59,944
- Well, I didn't really know myself.
245
00:12:01,072 --> 00:12:03,821
I guess it's for the best, you know?
246
00:12:03,821 --> 00:12:05,738
Change is good.
247
00:12:06,802 --> 00:12:09,190
For example, I cut salt out of my diet
248
00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:11,450
and my blood pressure went right down.
249
00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:13,371
But I do love salt.
250
00:12:13,371 --> 00:12:14,421
- Senior--
- Rudy,
251
00:12:14,421 --> 00:12:17,088
do you ever think that maybe,
if you made one little change,
252
00:12:17,088 --> 00:12:19,015
that your whole life would be different?
253
00:12:19,015 --> 00:12:21,490
- Actually, I've been meaning
to talk to you about--
254
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:24,275
- For example, the night I
met my wife, my dog died.
255
00:12:24,275 --> 00:12:27,210
I was very sad. I'd had
that dog since I was a kid.
256
00:12:27,210 --> 00:12:28,574
- That's very sad, sir.
257
00:12:28,574 --> 00:12:31,685
- Yes, it is sad. I was very
sad and I needed a drink.
258
00:12:31,685 --> 00:12:32,662
- Sir, you promised me
259
00:12:32,662 --> 00:12:33,870
that job.
- I walked up to a bar
260
00:12:33,870 --> 00:12:34,703
and there was this woman sitting there
261
00:12:34,703 --> 00:12:37,589
and she was breath taking.
So I walked up to her
262
00:12:37,589 --> 00:12:39,160
and she said, "well you
don't look like a John".
263
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,665
I said, "well, I'm
Donald. I don't know you,
264
00:12:41,665 --> 00:12:43,199
"but I know I love you.
265
00:12:43,199 --> 00:12:45,487
"So let's go to Vegas in
my jet and get married".
266
00:12:45,487 --> 00:12:46,404
And we did.
267
00:12:47,269 --> 00:12:49,620
If my dog hadn't died and
I didn't need a drink,
268
00:12:49,620 --> 00:12:51,059
who knows what might have happened.
269
00:12:51,059 --> 00:12:52,661
I might have just got another dog.
270
00:12:52,661 --> 00:12:55,484
Then there's Junior.
Very big company, Rudy.
271
00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:57,401
Very big shoes to fill.
272
00:12:58,609 --> 00:12:59,655
Pill, yes.
273
00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:02,798
Thank you. It's a very big company.
274
00:13:02,798 --> 00:13:04,999
Mm, that's better.
275
00:13:04,999 --> 00:13:06,930
(sigh)
276
00:13:06,930 --> 00:13:10,815
So I'm glad that nothing
is going to change.
277
00:13:10,815 --> 00:13:13,335
- Looks great. See that shot right there?
278
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:15,690
That single shot is genius.
279
00:13:15,690 --> 00:13:17,349
- I thought it was a nipple.
280
00:13:17,349 --> 00:13:18,873
- I thought it was just cold in here.
281
00:13:18,873 --> 00:13:21,691
(laughs)
282
00:13:21,691 --> 00:13:24,308
- See the camera move? It's
a synchronized crane shot.
283
00:13:24,308 --> 00:13:25,141
The same move on a different--
284
00:13:25,141 --> 00:13:25,974
- Nipple!
285
00:13:25,974 --> 00:13:27,581
(laughs)
286
00:13:27,581 --> 00:13:31,098
- Version of the
Conglomerated Assets logo.
287
00:13:31,098 --> 00:13:33,105
Back to the crane shot here. Look.
288
00:13:33,105 --> 00:13:34,165
It's smooth, looks really good,
289
00:13:34,165 --> 00:13:37,194
but how did you not notice
the boom shadow over here?
290
00:13:37,194 --> 00:13:38,194
Take a look.
291
00:13:39,703 --> 00:13:44,421
Boom shadow from a--
292
00:13:44,421 --> 00:13:45,838
- From her boobs.
293
00:13:47,208 --> 00:13:49,024
- Well I paid for a good education,
294
00:13:49,024 --> 00:13:50,871
but who knows what you get?
295
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:53,909
- Sir, the Senior V.P. of Marketing job.
296
00:13:53,909 --> 00:13:57,607
- Rudy, no. No. No job.
Just your job. For now.
297
00:13:57,607 --> 00:14:00,994
If you work on Junior and you teach him,
298
00:14:00,994 --> 00:14:03,722
you'll be out of here in
no time. No time at all.
299
00:14:03,722 --> 00:14:06,208
Now would you call my car
please? I'm going to the club.
300
00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:08,208
- Yes, sir.
- Thank you.
301
00:14:09,208 --> 00:14:10,375
- Boom shadow.
302
00:14:13,498 --> 00:14:14,797
That's how we do it.
303
00:14:14,797 --> 00:14:17,047
That's it right there, see?
304
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:23,148
- Boss, are you sure you
haven't done this before?
305
00:14:23,148 --> 00:14:27,175
- I guess I'm kind of a pro.
I've been doing it for a while.
306
00:14:27,175 --> 00:14:29,175
(gasps)
307
00:14:32,015 --> 00:14:32,848
- Listen Junior.
308
00:14:32,848 --> 00:14:35,255
I just want to say that I'm relieved
309
00:14:35,255 --> 00:14:37,938
that you see the beauty in my campaign.
310
00:14:37,938 --> 00:14:42,105
Too long have I suffered the
petty tyranny of the Qwertys.
311
00:14:43,463 --> 00:14:45,513
- The what?
- The Quartys.
312
00:14:45,513 --> 00:14:46,821
That's what we call them.
313
00:14:46,821 --> 00:14:50,545
And by we I mean I,
because I came up with it.
314
00:14:50,545 --> 00:14:52,388
- Alright, that's enough.
315
00:14:52,388 --> 00:14:53,577
- Yeah, you're right.
316
00:14:53,577 --> 00:14:55,917
Let's just go back to
calling them "Skirts".
317
00:14:55,917 --> 00:14:57,042
- That's not what I meant.
318
00:14:57,042 --> 00:14:58,262
- You know what Donald?
319
00:14:58,262 --> 00:15:02,010
You said nothing would change. Am I right?
320
00:15:02,010 --> 00:15:05,430
- Yes, I said nothing would
change, but what I meant
321
00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:06,833
was that--
- That's it!
322
00:15:06,833 --> 00:15:08,083
Every body out!
323
00:15:11,232 --> 00:15:13,482
(groaning)
324
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,725
- Hello Rudy.
325
00:15:18,725 --> 00:15:20,467
- Junior.
- Donald.
326
00:15:20,467 --> 00:15:24,634
- Did I hear you praise that
soft core jiggle patrol?
327
00:15:26,433 --> 00:15:29,002
- Well, it's not all bad.
328
00:15:29,002 --> 00:15:30,458
- Did you approve it?
329
00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:32,208
- Well even if I did,
330
00:15:34,121 --> 00:15:35,538
what's it to you?
331
00:15:36,443 --> 00:15:39,360
- What's it to me? What's it to me?
332
00:15:40,756 --> 00:15:43,804
Do you want this to look
like some T&A brokerage firm
333
00:15:43,804 --> 00:15:46,137
that rewards sexism, racism,
334
00:15:47,295 --> 00:15:51,060
and male-ism? No! You can't!
335
00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:53,154
This company has been
making money for people
336
00:15:53,154 --> 00:15:55,668
for over 100 years. This company--
337
00:15:55,668 --> 00:15:58,824
Your father and I, we made
every decision together.
338
00:15:58,824 --> 00:16:01,876
- Except when he would retire.
339
00:16:01,876 --> 00:16:03,692
- Except that.
340
00:16:03,692 --> 00:16:05,298
But for the past seven years,
341
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,584
we have made record profits. We've--
342
00:16:08,584 --> 00:16:11,595
- Consolidated assets
and expanded our trading
343
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:14,197
into markets abroad.
- Yes.
344
00:16:14,197 --> 00:16:16,577
- Looked into diverse portfolios
345
00:16:16,577 --> 00:16:19,049
and repackaged those portfolios into the
346
00:16:19,049 --> 00:16:20,928
sub-prime mortgage market?
347
00:16:20,928 --> 00:16:22,356
- How did you know that?
348
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,679
- Went to Stanford. I'm not an idiot!
349
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,667
(laughs)
350
00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:30,461
Okay, I can't work that
little intercom thing.
351
00:16:30,461 --> 00:16:34,388
I don't know where the coffee
room is, but I'll get it.
352
00:16:34,388 --> 00:16:36,222
- It's down the hall to the left.
353
00:16:36,222 --> 00:16:38,389
- See? Progress.
354
00:16:41,039 --> 00:16:44,377
Look Rudy, if you help me get
the company back on track,
355
00:16:44,377 --> 00:16:46,417
I swear I will promote you.
356
00:16:46,417 --> 00:16:48,056
- One month.
- Five.
357
00:16:48,056 --> 00:16:50,261
- Two.
- Three.
358
00:16:50,261 --> 00:16:51,428
- Deal. Shake!
359
00:16:55,045 --> 00:16:56,764
- Could have had me at two.
360
00:16:56,764 --> 00:17:00,597
- I know. Killer instincts.
I'm working on it.
361
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,431
(sighs)
362
00:17:03,431 --> 00:17:05,766
I miss your father.
363
00:17:05,766 --> 00:17:07,850
- He's only golfing.
364
00:17:07,850 --> 00:17:08,683
- Oh shit!
365
00:17:10,859 --> 00:17:12,859
- But he should be here.
366
00:17:14,906 --> 00:17:16,323
- Yeah.
367
00:17:25,368 --> 00:17:27,785
(rock music)
368
00:17:33,241 --> 00:17:35,430
- Is it alive after the wrath of Rudy?
369
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:36,734
- Shut up, Quincy.
370
00:17:36,734 --> 00:17:39,739
- I don't know what's going
to happen when I go in there.
371
00:17:39,739 --> 00:17:42,406
I'll be honest. I love it rough.
372
00:17:46,802 --> 00:17:48,802
- Be careful.
- Why?
373
00:17:49,847 --> 00:17:53,719
- Wouldn't want you to pop an implant.
374
00:17:53,719 --> 00:17:56,469
Do not mess, Quincy. Do not mess!
375
00:17:58,996 --> 00:18:01,194
You can go in now.
376
00:18:01,194 --> 00:18:03,611
(rock music)
377
00:18:16,003 --> 00:18:18,170
(moaning)
378
00:18:27,099 --> 00:18:29,216
- Which is why I think that the commercial
379
00:18:29,216 --> 00:18:32,549
that Chase and the boys
came up with totally works.
380
00:18:32,549 --> 00:18:33,382
You see Junior,
381
00:18:33,382 --> 00:18:37,132
my presentations always
leave men speechless.
382
00:18:38,588 --> 00:18:42,421
Jazz hands and show tunes
for that, Big Nancy.
383
00:18:46,642 --> 00:18:49,059
- Quite a first day.
- Quite!
384
00:18:50,904 --> 00:18:53,404
(piano music)
385
00:18:55,934 --> 00:18:58,684
(birds chirping)
386
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,467
(phone ringing)
387
00:19:18,806 --> 00:19:20,864
- [Senior] Hey son,
how was your first day?
388
00:19:20,864 --> 00:19:23,920
- Hey Pop!
- Rudy warm up to you yet?
389
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:28,181
- Hard to tell.
- She's a real ball-buster.
390
00:19:28,181 --> 00:19:29,489
- So is Quincy.
391
00:19:29,489 --> 00:19:33,583
- Who? Oh no, son, when I say
"bull-buster", I don't mean--
392
00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:36,050
- Are you in the back nine?
393
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:39,883
- Yeah, I'm getting used
to this. I really am.
394
00:19:40,827 --> 00:19:42,436
Your mother was right.
395
00:19:42,436 --> 00:19:45,745
- And usually is. Listen
dad, first day and all.
396
00:19:45,745 --> 00:19:49,983
- Oh yeah, of course, of
course. Nice work, son!
397
00:19:49,983 --> 00:19:52,346
I'm sure the whole company's
heard of you by now.
398
00:19:52,346 --> 00:19:54,513
Hang on. Hang on a second.
399
00:19:58,890 --> 00:19:59,723
- Dad!
400
00:20:01,753 --> 00:20:04,420
Oh shit! Shit, shit!
- Yeah.
401
00:20:08,533 --> 00:20:10,349
- Nice work.
- Thanks.
402
00:20:10,349 --> 00:20:13,261
- But it was a bit "coitus interrupt-us".
403
00:20:13,261 --> 00:20:14,771
- Just keep dangling the worm
404
00:20:14,771 --> 00:20:17,544
and eventually the fish eats it.
405
00:20:17,544 --> 00:20:20,797
- Well I'm not the one with the worm.
406
00:20:20,797 --> 00:20:24,924
- Oh. Oh! I got your worm right here.
407
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:27,662
- Really? Because my fish is hungry.
408
00:20:27,662 --> 00:20:28,495
- Oh, that's really good.
409
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:31,216
Because my worm--
- Oh, fuck it!
410
00:20:31,216 --> 00:20:33,383
(moaning)
411
00:20:34,724 --> 00:20:36,974
(laughing)
412
00:20:39,513 --> 00:20:41,513
- Gonna get my worm out!
413
00:20:44,329 --> 00:20:45,746
There you go! Ah!
414
00:20:58,228 --> 00:20:59,061
Ahoo!
415
00:21:16,279 --> 00:21:18,285
- Dude, you are like Tarzan!
416
00:21:18,285 --> 00:21:20,535
(cheering)
417
00:21:27,491 --> 00:21:30,491
(shallow breathing)
418
00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:36,837
- I hear you.
419
00:21:40,769 --> 00:21:42,333
- You have bronchitis, dude.
420
00:21:42,333 --> 00:21:44,562
- [Wilder What's it to ya, punk?
421
00:21:44,562 --> 00:21:46,492
- You have got to stop free
basing "Dirty Harry" movies
422
00:21:46,492 --> 00:21:47,767
when you're alone.
423
00:21:47,767 --> 00:21:51,298
- Hey! How was the first day
of the rest of your life?
424
00:21:51,298 --> 00:21:52,663
- Hm?
425
00:21:52,663 --> 00:21:55,631
- You know, working for the man.
426
00:21:55,631 --> 00:21:58,056
- This is just temporary.
427
00:21:58,056 --> 00:21:59,504
Are you naked?
428
00:21:59,504 --> 00:22:02,456
- I am, as nature intended.
429
00:22:02,456 --> 00:22:07,146
Glorious. Manly. Primal.
430
00:22:07,146 --> 00:22:11,063
- [Junior] Naked! Had
enough naked for one day.
431
00:22:13,971 --> 00:22:16,804
(plants rustling)
432
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:25,758
(Wall Street radio)
433
00:22:34,878 --> 00:22:36,378
Hello Tina.
434
00:22:42,861 --> 00:22:45,062
Oh--
- Crap!
435
00:22:45,062 --> 00:22:47,338
I brought you some coffee.
436
00:22:47,338 --> 00:22:50,255
- Crap, crap, crap!
437
00:22:51,619 --> 00:22:52,786
Waverly!
438
00:22:59,107 --> 00:23:00,774
My shirt.
439
00:23:07,619 --> 00:23:10,452
(throat clearing)
440
00:23:12,905 --> 00:23:16,024
You report on moving investments
from low-grade mortgages
441
00:23:16,024 --> 00:23:17,332
to gold and new biotech?
442
00:23:17,332 --> 00:23:18,165
- He read it?
443
00:23:18,165 --> 00:23:20,831
- No. I did. Interesting trend!
444
00:23:20,831 --> 00:23:24,053
- Not a trend, a fact.
Sub-primes are in a spiral,
445
00:23:24,053 --> 00:23:26,816
down low, way low, Rudy.
446
00:23:26,816 --> 00:23:28,078
Waverly and I are both for real
447
00:23:28,078 --> 00:23:29,608
in investing these
sub-primes more than we have.
448
00:23:29,608 --> 00:23:30,917
What's the man doing in there anyways?
449
00:23:30,917 --> 00:23:32,297
Waiting for you to come
in and whip his ass.
450
00:23:32,297 --> 00:23:34,566
You have to get him to
take this seriously.
451
00:23:34,566 --> 00:23:36,195
Senior was ready to sign off on this
452
00:23:36,195 --> 00:23:37,795
before he became a semi-retired golfer.
453
00:23:37,795 --> 00:23:40,711
- Look, he's had like two
days to get up to speed--
454
00:23:40,711 --> 00:23:41,761
- Are you defending him?
455
00:23:41,761 --> 00:23:44,393
- No, I am not.
- Yes, you are.
456
00:23:44,393 --> 00:23:45,531
What's with the hoodie?
457
00:23:45,531 --> 00:23:47,991
You're all "apple-bottom
jeans, boots with the fur" now?
458
00:23:47,991 --> 00:23:49,434
We gonna catch you ridin' dirty?
459
00:23:49,434 --> 00:23:51,994
- Coffee spilled. Again.
460
00:23:51,994 --> 00:23:54,039
Okay, I will have him read it.
461
00:23:54,039 --> 00:23:56,266
- You better, Rudy. Because
if that H5 Bird Flu hits
462
00:23:56,266 --> 00:23:58,361
and we're not investing in
the latest version of Tamiflu,
463
00:23:58,361 --> 00:23:59,694
heads will roll.
464
00:24:05,595 --> 00:24:08,071
- I need you to sign off
on these immediately.
465
00:24:08,071 --> 00:24:09,744
- Gotta read 'em first.
466
00:24:09,744 --> 00:24:12,611
- Oh, your father--
- Is not here, I am.
467
00:24:12,611 --> 00:24:15,290
I have to read them all.
468
00:24:15,290 --> 00:24:18,102
Look, Rudy, I know we
trusted you and everything,
469
00:24:18,102 --> 00:24:21,800
but we're friends, right?
I got you coffee, right?
470
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,562
- Which is why I'm
wearing a hoodie, right?
471
00:24:24,562 --> 00:24:25,395
- Sorry.
472
00:24:26,265 --> 00:24:29,172
I'm not going to let my
secretary make decisions for me.
473
00:24:29,172 --> 00:24:33,681
- Well thank you for making me
feel like I work in the 50's.
474
00:24:33,681 --> 00:24:37,809
Here is your corporate card,
your engraved president's pen,
475
00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:41,088
and a Rigby Junior bobble head.
476
00:24:41,088 --> 00:24:42,388
Oh, and those papers,
477
00:24:42,388 --> 00:24:45,360
prepared for you by the
Qwertys or secretaries,
478
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:48,083
or whatever it is you MBA
Grads like to call us,
479
00:24:48,083 --> 00:24:50,335
also known as your I.V. League team
480
00:24:50,335 --> 00:24:51,872
of Risk Assessment Managers,
481
00:24:51,872 --> 00:24:54,326
who respectfully and submissively suggest
482
00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:56,508
you sign off on them first
thing in the morning.
483
00:24:56,508 --> 00:25:00,675
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have some ironing to do.
484
00:25:02,766 --> 00:25:04,501
(sighs)
485
00:25:04,501 --> 00:25:05,334
- Shit.
486
00:25:07,182 --> 00:25:08,432
- Pass it.
487
00:25:15,251 --> 00:25:16,761
Okay, spill it.
488
00:25:16,761 --> 00:25:19,053
- We hate the ad campaign. All of us.
489
00:25:19,053 --> 00:25:19,886
- All the women.
490
00:25:19,886 --> 00:25:22,251
- Except Quincy. She thinks
it makes her job easier
491
00:25:22,251 --> 00:25:24,066
when she goes in for the sell.
492
00:25:24,066 --> 00:25:27,002
They see boobs, they expect boobs.
493
00:25:27,002 --> 00:25:29,237
Rudy, how do you think he's doing?
494
00:25:29,237 --> 00:25:31,805
(harp strings)
495
00:25:31,805 --> 00:25:33,557
I mean, I think he's okay.
496
00:25:33,557 --> 00:25:35,668
- I'd like him better if
he'd approve our recommends.
497
00:25:35,668 --> 00:25:39,624
- Junior, he's helpless.
All he's doing is reading.
498
00:25:39,624 --> 00:25:42,664
I mean, maybe he'll be
caught up in a few months.
499
00:25:42,664 --> 00:25:44,005
Maybe.
500
00:25:44,005 --> 00:25:46,096
- I thought you were all,
"give him a break, Yaz.
501
00:25:46,096 --> 00:25:47,910
"He's only been here a few days, Yaz."
502
00:25:47,910 --> 00:25:48,855
Where's that Rudy?
503
00:25:48,855 --> 00:25:50,634
- Baking a pie.
- What?
504
00:25:50,634 --> 00:25:51,806
- I hate it, too.
505
00:25:51,806 --> 00:25:53,523
- Chase loves it.
506
00:25:53,523 --> 00:25:55,106
- Chase is a moron.
507
00:25:55,987 --> 00:25:57,296
- To Chase...
508
00:25:57,296 --> 00:25:59,037
(moaning)
509
00:25:59,037 --> 00:26:01,332
- [All] The moron.
510
00:26:01,332 --> 00:26:03,505
- Alright, onto the sub-prime question.
511
00:26:03,505 --> 00:26:05,694
- Mm. That was a great earner.
512
00:26:05,694 --> 00:26:07,377
- No doubt, but I think--
- Yeah,
513
00:26:07,377 --> 00:26:10,000
that was my baby. Yes, sir.
514
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:13,001
You know I pushed that all to a head.
515
00:26:13,001 --> 00:26:16,386
Big head. Very big.
516
00:26:16,386 --> 00:26:18,781
Head. Me.
517
00:26:18,781 --> 00:26:23,101
Boom, pow! You're welcome!
518
00:26:23,101 --> 00:26:24,997
- Well, the reports I've read indicate
519
00:26:24,997 --> 00:26:28,545
that we should divest and
expand into Gold Biotech.
520
00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:29,378
- Sorry. Biotech?
521
00:26:29,378 --> 00:26:30,586
(laughs)
522
00:26:30,586 --> 00:26:31,836
Mad scientists!
523
00:26:33,209 --> 00:26:36,471
Listen, Junior. Here's the
thing. You're getting all upset
524
00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:38,683
about a few tiny downturns in the market.
525
00:26:38,683 --> 00:26:40,208
These are regular fluctuations.
526
00:26:40,208 --> 00:26:41,791
It will go back up.
527
00:26:43,380 --> 00:26:46,010
I mean, everybody wants
to own a house, right?
528
00:26:46,010 --> 00:26:50,177
I mean, home ownership.
That's the American dream!
529
00:26:52,811 --> 00:26:54,561
- Wait, the Qwertys--
530
00:26:55,624 --> 00:26:57,316
- Are a demographic
that's seen an increase
531
00:26:57,316 --> 00:26:59,340
in 49% over the last five years.
532
00:26:59,340 --> 00:27:01,044
- And the fastest
growing pool of net worth
533
00:27:01,044 --> 00:27:02,779
over the same five years.
534
00:27:02,779 --> 00:27:04,618
- Erica, do you still
have the original files
535
00:27:04,618 --> 00:27:06,664
from the campaign?
- Yes!
536
00:27:06,664 --> 00:27:08,054
- If we hurry, we can have it finished
537
00:27:08,054 --> 00:27:09,471
in time for the big retreat next week.
538
00:27:09,471 --> 00:27:11,633
- Okay, everybody on the down low.
539
00:27:11,633 --> 00:27:12,466
- What?
540
00:27:12,466 --> 00:27:13,797
- White people.
541
00:27:13,797 --> 00:27:15,044
- It means keep it quiet.
542
00:27:15,044 --> 00:27:18,639
- Keep it low.
- Oh! Keep it down low.
543
00:27:18,639 --> 00:27:19,472
- Right.
544
00:27:20,323 --> 00:27:23,025
- This last report from
Waverly and Yasmine--
545
00:27:23,025 --> 00:27:23,985
- Are you kidding me?
546
00:27:23,985 --> 00:27:26,556
You're going to listen
to a bunch of skirts?
547
00:27:26,556 --> 00:27:27,389
- Skirts?
548
00:27:28,676 --> 00:27:31,464
- You're going to let Team
Qwerty run the company?
549
00:27:31,464 --> 00:27:33,214
Just like your daddy.
550
00:27:48,694 --> 00:27:50,611
(beep)
551
00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:53,333
(faucet running)
552
00:27:53,333 --> 00:27:56,064
- Hey, let me help you with that.
553
00:27:56,064 --> 00:27:57,438
Get out!
554
00:27:57,438 --> 00:27:59,635
(laughs)
555
00:27:59,635 --> 00:28:02,197
Hi! Listen, Junior.
556
00:28:02,197 --> 00:28:04,371
I know you want to make your father proud.
557
00:28:04,371 --> 00:28:05,288
I get that.
558
00:28:06,514 --> 00:28:07,514
Ah. Fuck it.
559
00:28:11,954 --> 00:28:14,704
Ooh, feisty! Me likey!
560
00:28:18,869 --> 00:28:21,286
- Stay away. We'd never work.
561
00:28:26,986 --> 00:28:28,986
- Erica! Grab your gear!
562
00:28:30,537 --> 00:28:32,023
- [Junior] I'm not your type!
563
00:28:32,023 --> 00:28:32,856
- [Rudy] Donald!
564
00:28:32,856 --> 00:28:34,189
- [Junior] Rudy!
565
00:28:35,933 --> 00:28:37,765
- [Rudy] Donald!
566
00:28:37,765 --> 00:28:39,645
- The chances of you
actually using your equipment
567
00:28:39,645 --> 00:28:41,504
are astronomical. I'd have
to calculate the difference--
568
00:28:41,504 --> 00:28:43,898
- Girl, focus! Alright, look.
569
00:28:43,898 --> 00:28:47,911
I need you all to stand up
and grab hold of this rope.
570
00:28:47,911 --> 00:28:50,946
- [Rudy] I'm here, I'm here.
Get up, get up, get up!
571
00:28:50,946 --> 00:28:52,656
- [Chase] I can't see anything!
572
00:28:52,656 --> 00:28:54,409
- [Junior] Leave him behind!
573
00:28:54,409 --> 00:28:56,659
(coughing)
574
00:28:58,328 --> 00:29:00,078
- [Chase] Where am I?
575
00:29:01,377 --> 00:29:04,463
- Don't ask.
- I wasn't going to.
576
00:29:04,463 --> 00:29:07,124
- [Chase] I have popcorn in my eye!
577
00:29:07,124 --> 00:29:11,142
- It's official. I'm out of clean clothes.
578
00:29:11,142 --> 00:29:14,167
- Oh, sorry. You have a
little bit right there.
579
00:29:14,167 --> 00:29:15,167
- [Rudy] Oh.
580
00:29:16,497 --> 00:29:19,497
- Yeah and thanks for the, you know.
581
00:29:22,686 --> 00:29:23,519
- Waverly!
582
00:29:29,513 --> 00:29:34,079
- Dude. Just stop. Wilder. You
missed 'Nam by a decade, man.
583
00:29:34,079 --> 00:29:35,668
- Yeah, but if it weren't for my bum knee,
584
00:29:35,668 --> 00:29:37,677
I would have rocked in the coast guard.
585
00:29:37,677 --> 00:29:39,730
Hey, do you have any wings?
586
00:29:39,730 --> 00:29:40,563
- Frozen ones.
587
00:29:40,563 --> 00:29:42,488
- Not anymore. I ate 'em.
588
00:29:42,488 --> 00:29:45,305
- The stove is broken.
589
00:29:45,305 --> 00:29:46,970
- I know, it's cool.
590
00:29:46,970 --> 00:29:49,151
You just lay them out in
the sun on some tin foil
591
00:29:49,151 --> 00:29:52,849
and get a magnifying
glass. Very satisfied.
592
00:29:52,849 --> 00:29:54,099
Cave man style.
593
00:29:55,985 --> 00:29:58,039
What? You didn't come home for lunch.
594
00:29:58,039 --> 00:29:59,236
(growls)
595
00:29:59,236 --> 00:30:00,110
(groans)
596
00:30:00,110 --> 00:30:02,420
Feels good. C'mon, do it with me!
597
00:30:02,420 --> 00:30:04,503
(growls)
598
00:30:07,228 --> 00:30:08,997
(screaming)
599
00:30:08,997 --> 00:30:11,758
- Yes, out of the holes,
600
00:30:11,758 --> 00:30:14,709
we break forth and scavenge and forage.
601
00:30:14,709 --> 00:30:18,152
From the manifesto that is
the old place of humanity.
602
00:30:18,152 --> 00:30:20,319
(screams)
603
00:30:21,978 --> 00:30:23,008
(sighs)
604
00:30:23,008 --> 00:30:24,213
- I need a beer.
605
00:30:24,213 --> 00:30:26,380
- Problem. Beer. No wings.
606
00:30:29,035 --> 00:30:30,535
- Corporate card.
607
00:30:40,590 --> 00:30:44,129
I always wanted to bone
Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio.
608
00:30:44,129 --> 00:30:46,629
- It's the name. Mastrantonio.
609
00:30:48,501 --> 00:30:50,584
Mas-tran-tonio.
610
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,413
Yeah, she's hot.
611
00:30:54,590 --> 00:30:56,028
- Hotter than Viper?
612
00:30:56,028 --> 00:30:58,178
- Oh, fuck no. Not a blonde.
613
00:30:58,178 --> 00:31:00,611
Blondes are a lot of trouble, man.
614
00:31:00,611 --> 00:31:02,804
My last lady was a blonde.
615
00:31:02,804 --> 00:31:04,054
- And that was?
616
00:31:05,911 --> 00:31:07,161
- Kindergarten.
617
00:31:08,648 --> 00:31:12,815
- Hello, Donald Rigby Senior.
I mean, Junior's Office.
618
00:31:16,174 --> 00:31:20,341
$100 for burgers, fries,
shakes, and chicken wings?
619
00:31:21,503 --> 00:31:23,086
What's the address?
620
00:31:23,926 --> 00:31:27,724
- Donald, what you see
before is the shell of a man.
621
00:31:27,724 --> 00:31:29,405
I could have been somebody.
622
00:31:29,405 --> 00:31:31,333
- Shut up, dude.
623
00:31:31,333 --> 00:31:33,287
What about that script
you promised me, huh?
624
00:31:33,287 --> 00:31:36,166
The one that was going to
make us both contenders.
625
00:31:36,166 --> 00:31:39,816
- It's in the vault dude. In the vault.
626
00:31:39,816 --> 00:31:42,272
- Okay, can you change that to pick-up?
627
00:31:42,272 --> 00:31:44,931
I'll be there in 20 minutes, thanks.
628
00:31:44,931 --> 00:31:47,334
Crap! I gotta go.
629
00:31:47,334 --> 00:31:49,702
- Did you hear about Bear Stern's?
630
00:31:49,702 --> 00:31:50,535
- What?
631
00:31:52,327 --> 00:31:54,045
- He's gotta sign these papers.
632
00:31:54,045 --> 00:31:55,045
- I'm on it!
633
00:31:57,007 --> 00:32:00,193
- How about unlocking
the vault sometime, dude?
634
00:32:00,193 --> 00:32:02,636
I had film school for three years, man.
635
00:32:02,636 --> 00:32:05,303
- Researching, refining, honing.
636
00:32:06,302 --> 00:32:08,808
I want to make sure what
you have in your hands
637
00:32:08,808 --> 00:32:11,574
is an instant American cinematic classic.
638
00:32:11,574 --> 00:32:13,639
I'm the Oliver Stone
to your Brian De Palma,
639
00:32:13,639 --> 00:32:14,472
don't worry dude.
640
00:32:14,472 --> 00:32:15,843
(laughs)
641
00:32:15,843 --> 00:32:18,676
(door bell rings)
642
00:32:21,476 --> 00:32:25,291
Wings-a! Wings-a! Wings-a!
Wings-a! Wings-a! Wings-a!
643
00:32:25,291 --> 00:32:28,723
Wing, wing, wing-a, wing!
Wings, wings, wings!
644
00:32:28,723 --> 00:32:30,498
- Okay. I'm coming.
645
00:32:30,498 --> 00:32:33,831
I put everything on the--
- Card. I know.
646
00:32:35,521 --> 00:32:38,044
They had to call me for the verification.
647
00:32:38,044 --> 00:32:40,479
Especially after they
saw the delivery address.
648
00:32:40,479 --> 00:32:44,500
I wondered if you had gotten
mugged on the way home.
649
00:32:44,500 --> 00:32:46,930
Looks like a thrift
store threw up in here.
650
00:32:46,930 --> 00:32:47,991
- Undergrad film school.
651
00:32:47,991 --> 00:32:49,756
- Would never have guessed.
652
00:32:49,756 --> 00:32:50,923
- Wings!
653
00:32:54,554 --> 00:32:56,554
- Also from film school?
654
00:32:57,728 --> 00:33:01,582
- Kind of. What are you doing here?
655
00:33:01,582 --> 00:33:04,045
- You have papers to sign, Junior.
656
00:33:04,045 --> 00:33:05,907
Yasmine and Waverly have already told me
657
00:33:05,907 --> 00:33:09,988
that the portfolios have yet
to divest off the sub-primes--
658
00:33:09,988 --> 00:33:11,071
- Slow down.
659
00:33:11,071 --> 00:33:13,988
- You need to authorize the change.
660
00:33:14,912 --> 00:33:16,245
Right here, see?
661
00:33:18,351 --> 00:33:20,434
- I'm hungry. You hungry?
662
00:33:21,585 --> 00:33:24,418
(soft jazz music)
663
00:33:31,179 --> 00:33:34,393
("You're Too Pretty" by
D. Johnston & D. Liang)
664
00:33:34,393 --> 00:33:36,910
- I'll feed it to you.
I'll feed it to you.
665
00:33:36,910 --> 00:33:40,583
♫ All it really took was a
look from across the room
666
00:33:40,583 --> 00:33:44,575
♫ I caught your eye
and I knew I was doomed
667
00:33:44,575 --> 00:33:48,559
♫ To fall deeply for
the idea of you and me
668
00:33:48,559 --> 00:33:52,352
♫ Together could I ever
make this dream come true?
669
00:33:52,352 --> 00:33:56,019
♫ Imagine my sweet surprise
670
00:34:00,713 --> 00:34:04,185
♫ When you said you felt likewise
671
00:34:04,185 --> 00:34:07,157
- So yeah, they let me go to film school.
672
00:34:07,157 --> 00:34:09,675
I just wanted to make movies.
673
00:34:09,675 --> 00:34:11,364
- Did you ever make one?
674
00:34:11,364 --> 00:34:15,531
- Yep. "Zombie Secretaries
from the Deep". Sci-Fi.
675
00:34:16,818 --> 00:34:19,689
Went to the Dump Fraz Film Festival.
676
00:34:19,689 --> 00:34:21,656
Anyway, they never picked it up.
677
00:34:21,656 --> 00:34:23,906
- I'd watch it.
678
00:34:27,794 --> 00:34:30,488
(snoring)
679
00:34:30,488 --> 00:34:32,571
- What about you?
- What?
680
00:34:34,345 --> 00:34:37,583
- Well you know my deal. What'd you do?
681
00:34:37,583 --> 00:34:40,074
- I was the younger
sister. That's what I did.
682
00:34:40,074 --> 00:34:40,931
- Huh?
683
00:34:40,931 --> 00:34:43,583
- I got A's, I was on the debate team.
684
00:34:43,583 --> 00:34:45,111
- President of the class?
685
00:34:45,111 --> 00:34:45,944
- Treasurer.
686
00:34:45,944 --> 00:34:47,075
- Of course.
687
00:34:47,075 --> 00:34:50,087
- But I did invest our
student budget so well
688
00:34:50,087 --> 00:34:53,744
that we were able to afford a
celebrity performer at prom.
689
00:34:53,744 --> 00:34:55,216
- Who'd ya get?
690
00:34:55,216 --> 00:34:56,299
- Carrot Top.
691
00:34:58,204 --> 00:34:59,433
I know. I know.
692
00:34:59,433 --> 00:35:01,600
- No, Carrot Top was huge.
693
00:35:02,722 --> 00:35:04,472
At some point.
694
00:35:07,232 --> 00:35:09,951
- Anyway, things kind of
went south from there.
695
00:35:09,951 --> 00:35:14,265
My dad died and my
brother got into Harvard.
696
00:35:14,265 --> 00:35:15,848
He was the son so--
697
00:35:17,142 --> 00:35:19,892
- He went and you stayed at home.
698
00:35:20,942 --> 00:35:22,544
- Put myself through city college
699
00:35:22,544 --> 00:35:24,463
and helped out at the shop.
700
00:35:24,463 --> 00:35:25,484
- What kind?
701
00:35:25,484 --> 00:35:28,060
- Gelato.
- Gelato?
702
00:35:28,060 --> 00:35:30,205
- No dairy, better for Asians.
703
00:35:30,205 --> 00:35:33,267
- Oh.
- Still sweet, though.
704
00:35:33,267 --> 00:35:34,600
- Yeah, you are.
705
00:35:39,446 --> 00:35:40,613
- Is that? Oh!
706
00:35:42,224 --> 00:35:43,882
- Yeah, he does that.
707
00:35:43,882 --> 00:35:45,632
Dude. Wake up.
708
00:35:48,849 --> 00:35:51,754
- Leaving, leaving, leaving now!
709
00:35:51,754 --> 00:35:52,587
- Right.
710
00:35:53,587 --> 00:35:55,837
(whispers)
711
00:36:02,446 --> 00:36:04,414
- Papers tomorrow.
712
00:36:04,414 --> 00:36:05,865
- Promise.
713
00:36:05,865 --> 00:36:07,317
- See you in the morning.
714
00:36:07,317 --> 00:36:09,164
- How do you take your tea?
715
00:36:09,164 --> 00:36:10,211
- What?
716
00:36:10,211 --> 00:36:11,940
- Going to change my mojo.
717
00:36:11,940 --> 00:36:14,765
Mail room hasn't been doing
so great with the coffee.
718
00:36:14,765 --> 00:36:17,105
- Right. I'll bring my own coffee
719
00:36:17,105 --> 00:36:18,970
and I'll also bring a change of clothes.
720
00:36:18,970 --> 00:36:20,072
(laughs)
721
00:36:20,072 --> 00:36:23,013
Look, give me that promotion
and we'll call it even.
722
00:36:23,013 --> 00:36:25,594
- You're stuck with me
for at least three months.
723
00:36:25,594 --> 00:36:26,427
Manana.
724
00:36:26,427 --> 00:36:27,260
- Chow.
725
00:36:30,986 --> 00:36:34,427
- Dude. Guess what I just
found on the internet?
726
00:36:34,427 --> 00:36:35,344
- Uh, porn.
727
00:36:36,501 --> 00:36:40,668
- Obviously. But she looks
like Mary Elizabeth--
728
00:36:41,730 --> 00:36:43,647
- Mastrantonio! Genius!
729
00:36:49,951 --> 00:36:52,951
(Wall Street radio)
730
00:37:16,121 --> 00:37:18,802
- Wall Street is in a massive panic today
731
00:37:18,802 --> 00:37:20,254
as the market took losses
732
00:37:20,254 --> 00:37:23,667
in the mortgages and sub-prime markets.
733
00:37:23,667 --> 00:37:25,017
- Did he sign the papers last night?
734
00:37:25,017 --> 00:37:27,655
Did you fax them this
morning, like I asked you to?
735
00:37:27,655 --> 00:37:30,923
- Rudy. We needed to unload
about 30% of our sub-primes
736
00:37:30,923 --> 00:37:32,351
before the market opened.
737
00:37:32,351 --> 00:37:34,509
Did you sign them? Did you fax them?
738
00:37:34,509 --> 00:37:38,092
- No. He said he wanted
to read them first.
739
00:37:39,045 --> 00:37:40,428
I'll call him.
740
00:37:40,428 --> 00:37:42,181
- Where is he? It's 9 o'clock!
741
00:37:42,181 --> 00:37:43,878
- Oh, God. Pick-up, pick-up, pick-up!
742
00:37:43,878 --> 00:37:45,922
(phone rings)
743
00:37:45,922 --> 00:37:47,501
- Hey Rudy, what's up?
744
00:37:47,501 --> 00:37:49,404
- Hi. Leeman filed for bankruptcy.
745
00:37:49,404 --> 00:37:50,752
Did you sign those papers?
746
00:37:50,752 --> 00:37:52,925
Because I have to get
them in front of the FED
747
00:37:52,925 --> 00:37:54,149
before anything else happens.
748
00:37:54,149 --> 00:37:55,889
The markets are going crazy.
749
00:37:55,889 --> 00:37:58,472
- I signed them. They're just--
750
00:38:04,230 --> 00:38:05,577
I forgot them.
751
00:38:05,577 --> 00:38:06,893
- Where are you?
752
00:38:06,893 --> 00:38:10,159
- Traffic. On the 405. Should
I turn around and get them?
753
00:38:10,159 --> 00:38:11,795
- 405? It will take him over an hour!
754
00:38:11,795 --> 00:38:13,677
- No, we do not have an hour. No.
755
00:38:13,677 --> 00:38:15,773
That hairy guy, who lives with you--
756
00:38:15,773 --> 00:38:19,188
- Wilder? He's not the most helpful.
757
00:38:19,188 --> 00:38:20,987
I am the CEO, I will call him.
758
00:38:20,987 --> 00:38:23,954
Wait. Can I sign them when I get there?
759
00:38:23,954 --> 00:38:25,429
- Yes, I'll make another copy.
760
00:38:25,429 --> 00:38:28,571
But Donald, have him send those papers.
761
00:38:28,571 --> 00:38:30,154
Okay? Do it.
762
00:38:31,054 --> 00:38:33,190
- There is no time. None, Rudy!
763
00:38:33,190 --> 00:38:35,283
Our ass is totally on the line here!
764
00:38:35,283 --> 00:38:40,176
- Waverly and I want
nothing to do with your ass.
765
00:38:40,176 --> 00:38:42,352
- That's right. You're
going to get us all fired.
766
00:38:42,352 --> 00:38:44,676
- We told you, Rudy. We
told you this is important.
767
00:38:44,676 --> 00:38:45,509
This is what we do.
768
00:38:45,509 --> 00:38:47,633
I'm a genius and she's a bonds trader.
769
00:38:47,633 --> 00:38:49,467
We've been following this for weeks now.
770
00:38:49,467 --> 00:38:51,093
- Well then why didn't you trade before?
771
00:38:51,093 --> 00:38:53,341
- Cause that's not how
you make money, Rudy.
772
00:38:53,341 --> 00:38:55,354
You wait until the last possible second
773
00:38:55,354 --> 00:38:58,400
to make the most possible
money for the portfolio.
774
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:00,595
We analyze the risks
and now some idiot man
775
00:39:00,595 --> 00:39:02,424
is going to fuck us!
776
00:39:02,424 --> 00:39:03,770
- Not in a good way, fuck us.
777
00:39:03,770 --> 00:39:05,084
Not long and hard and all sweaty
778
00:39:05,084 --> 00:39:06,542
'till you can't possibly
come again, fuck us.
779
00:39:06,542 --> 00:39:07,644
He's going to fuck us, fuck us.
780
00:39:07,644 --> 00:39:09,510
- Yeah, with a chainsaw.
781
00:39:09,510 --> 00:39:10,343
- Ew.
782
00:39:11,665 --> 00:39:13,639
- I need more coffee.
783
00:39:13,639 --> 00:39:15,639
(sighs)
784
00:39:16,515 --> 00:39:19,015
(phone rings)
785
00:39:20,146 --> 00:39:24,732
- Wilder, Wilder. Pick up the
phone you lazy mother fucker!
786
00:39:24,732 --> 00:39:26,652
Stop watching the god damn movie!
787
00:39:26,652 --> 00:39:29,546
They shoot him in the boat!
788
00:39:29,546 --> 00:39:32,482
Wilder, it's a matter of life and death,
789
00:39:32,482 --> 00:39:34,990
and little old lady pensions!
790
00:39:34,990 --> 00:39:38,469
Michael gets offers he can't refuse.
791
00:39:38,469 --> 00:39:40,122
Wilder, if you pick up the phone,
792
00:39:40,122 --> 00:39:43,968
I will get you laid, you
virgin mother fucker!
793
00:39:43,968 --> 00:39:47,386
- Oh Donald. Yes, what's
this about getting laid?
794
00:39:47,386 --> 00:39:50,204
Uh-huh. Do we have a fax machine?
795
00:39:50,204 --> 00:39:52,871
We do. Oh that's what that does.
796
00:39:54,532 --> 00:39:55,449
Yeah. Sure.
797
00:39:58,336 --> 00:39:59,834
I'll do it!
798
00:39:59,834 --> 00:40:02,301
Now you promise I'm going to bust my nut?
799
00:40:02,301 --> 00:40:06,384
Okay, okay. It was a fair
question. I'll find it.
800
00:40:07,420 --> 00:40:08,599
Yeah, I'll find it!
801
00:40:08,599 --> 00:40:10,849
(scatting)
802
00:40:42,698 --> 00:40:46,531
Yes! I will get laid tonight!
803
00:41:01,559 --> 00:41:02,653
Hello?
804
00:41:02,653 --> 00:41:04,506
- You put it in backward.
805
00:41:04,506 --> 00:41:06,103
- I still get laid, right?
806
00:41:06,103 --> 00:41:08,919
- Put it in the other way! Do it! Do it!
807
00:41:08,919 --> 00:41:09,752
- Okay.
808
00:41:11,455 --> 00:41:13,455
(sighs)
809
00:41:16,625 --> 00:41:17,458
- Yes!
810
00:41:19,697 --> 00:41:22,697
(soft hip-hop beat)
811
00:41:27,647 --> 00:41:28,480
- Oops.
812
00:41:34,206 --> 00:41:37,078
I just spilled all over myself.
813
00:41:37,078 --> 00:41:40,995
Looks like I'm gonna need
to take my shirt off.
814
00:41:42,288 --> 00:41:44,505
- Rudy, could you come in
here for a moment please?
815
00:41:44,505 --> 00:41:46,366
- [Rudy] I don't do three ways, Donald.
816
00:41:46,366 --> 00:41:49,039
- Now, and bring some aloe. Stop it!
817
00:41:49,039 --> 00:41:50,291
- [Rudy] Stop what?
818
00:41:50,291 --> 00:41:51,205
- Oh, not you.
819
00:41:51,205 --> 00:41:52,372
Stop it! Rudy!
820
00:41:54,296 --> 00:41:57,387
- Down, girl. You, get off that desk.
821
00:41:57,387 --> 00:42:00,753
You, this is an office. Not a bordello.
822
00:42:00,753 --> 00:42:04,539
- I completely agree.
What is going on here?
823
00:42:04,539 --> 00:42:06,559
Donald, get off that chair.
824
00:42:06,559 --> 00:42:08,502
You, whore, off the floor.
825
00:42:08,502 --> 00:42:10,881
Get me a coffee and the company directory.
826
00:42:10,881 --> 00:42:12,736
I hope you're ready for some bowling
827
00:42:12,736 --> 00:42:15,393
because heads are gonna roll.
828
00:42:15,393 --> 00:42:16,565
- I'm in sales.
829
00:42:16,565 --> 00:42:17,754
- Of course you are.
830
00:42:17,754 --> 00:42:19,284
- You in the market?
831
00:42:19,284 --> 00:42:20,117
Kinky.
832
00:42:23,123 --> 00:42:23,956
Call me.
833
00:42:26,031 --> 00:42:28,011
- Mother, I don't know what's happening.
834
00:42:28,011 --> 00:42:29,040
I was just sitting--
835
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,378
- Our stock is down.
836
00:42:31,378 --> 00:42:33,631
I understand you were
too busy to sign papers
837
00:42:33,631 --> 00:42:36,136
because you live with some hairy man?
838
00:42:36,136 --> 00:42:37,675
- [Rudy & Junior] What?
839
00:42:37,675 --> 00:42:39,258
- Rudy, coffee now.
840
00:42:41,205 --> 00:42:45,372
I had to drive here all the
way from Bel-Air, by myself.
841
00:42:46,268 --> 00:42:49,694
I'm serious about that company directory.
842
00:42:49,694 --> 00:42:53,312
I am disgusted with each
and every one of you.
843
00:42:53,312 --> 00:42:56,319
Leeman's has fallen. Do
you know what that means?
844
00:42:56,319 --> 00:42:58,482
It means panic. It means misinformation.
845
00:42:58,482 --> 00:43:01,681
It means this is a golden opportunity
846
00:43:01,681 --> 00:43:03,679
to grab the bull by the horn.
847
00:43:03,679 --> 00:43:05,146
- [Junior] Which means--
- Which means
848
00:43:05,146 --> 00:43:06,752
they'll probably be bailed out by the FED.
849
00:43:06,752 --> 00:43:08,648
- Excuse me, that's highly unlikely
850
00:43:08,648 --> 00:43:10,207
according to my calculations.
851
00:43:10,207 --> 00:43:11,537
- Really?
- Yes.
852
00:43:11,537 --> 00:43:12,374
- You're fired.
853
00:43:12,374 --> 00:43:13,207
(scoffs)
854
00:43:13,207 --> 00:43:14,040
- I'm a genius.
855
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,441
- Well, now you're an
out-of-work genius. Get out.
856
00:43:16,441 --> 00:43:18,263
- Yasmine is correct, ma'am.
857
00:43:18,263 --> 00:43:20,159
The FED already announced
that they're not bailing--
858
00:43:20,159 --> 00:43:21,159
- Oh, you're fired, too.
859
00:43:21,159 --> 00:43:22,731
In fact, I was going to tell everyone
860
00:43:22,731 --> 00:43:24,402
on Friday when you couldn't riot,
861
00:43:24,402 --> 00:43:26,819
but you are all indeed fired.
862
00:43:28,517 --> 00:43:32,277
Except for you because, well,
you got us into this mess
863
00:43:32,277 --> 00:43:35,678
and you let me know my son
is a gay man. Thank you.
864
00:43:35,678 --> 00:43:39,609
And you, because we need more sales.
865
00:43:39,609 --> 00:43:41,526
Now, everyone out.
866
00:43:45,101 --> 00:43:48,002
- Excuse me, but I really--
- But what?
867
00:43:48,002 --> 00:43:49,742
Now that you're all perky in that
868
00:43:49,742 --> 00:43:51,887
"I'm in love with the boss" kind of way,
869
00:43:51,887 --> 00:43:52,961
I'm going to keep you?
870
00:43:52,961 --> 00:43:57,462
Well, I have eyes. Over my dead body.
871
00:43:57,462 --> 00:43:59,435
You smell what I'm saying?
872
00:43:59,435 --> 00:44:01,268
- Mother, Rudy and I, we're not--
873
00:44:01,268 --> 00:44:03,835
- No, we really are not.
874
00:44:03,835 --> 00:44:07,168
- Oh, Donald, enough! Now, everyone out.
875
00:44:10,972 --> 00:44:13,898
But Rudy you can stay if
you get me a cup of coffee
876
00:44:13,898 --> 00:44:16,565
and act like a good little girl.
877
00:44:19,557 --> 00:44:22,474
- It appears I cannot stay. Ladies.
878
00:44:28,647 --> 00:44:31,313
- Just a transition period
that will get all jobs done.
879
00:44:31,313 --> 00:44:33,971
- Why don't you get rid of
everyone? Why not the whole book?
880
00:44:33,971 --> 00:44:35,782
- [Mother] You simply have to understand.
881
00:44:35,782 --> 00:44:37,215
All of these people have to go.
882
00:44:37,215 --> 00:44:38,674
Upper management gets to stay.
883
00:44:38,674 --> 00:44:41,252
- [Junior] Who is the
maintenance staff? You?
884
00:44:41,252 --> 00:44:45,675
When is the last time you
picked up a toilet brush?
885
00:44:45,675 --> 00:44:46,856
I'm leaving!
886
00:44:46,856 --> 00:44:47,689
- In the footsteps,
887
00:44:47,689 --> 00:44:50,282
but perhaps not as severe
as the Leeman melt down,
888
00:44:50,282 --> 00:44:52,612
are the staff cuts at
Conglomerated Assets,
889
00:44:52,612 --> 00:44:55,332
where what's being termed
a "New Brew Measure",
890
00:44:55,332 --> 00:44:57,259
was taken by Ms. Antoinette Rigby,
891
00:44:57,259 --> 00:45:01,752
who took her proxy power to
the extreme this afternoon.
892
00:45:01,752 --> 00:45:03,103
Ms. Rigby, are we to conclude
893
00:45:03,103 --> 00:45:04,594
from these recent wave of firings
894
00:45:04,594 --> 00:45:07,354
that Conglomerated is
falling on its assets?
895
00:45:07,354 --> 00:45:09,120
- No, no.
896
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:12,013
We are in perfect financial
condition at Conglomerated,
897
00:45:12,013 --> 00:45:15,079
just as we have been
for the last 100 years.
898
00:45:15,079 --> 00:45:18,269
But I felt, in order to
better serve out clients,
899
00:45:18,269 --> 00:45:20,799
harsh measures had to be taken.
900
00:45:20,799 --> 00:45:23,822
And of course we cancelled
our annual board retreat.
901
00:45:23,822 --> 00:45:25,892
It would have been fiscally irresponsible.
902
00:45:25,892 --> 00:45:27,589
- We are dead wood.
- [Waverly] Indeed.
903
00:45:27,589 --> 00:45:29,685
- Oh the hell no.
904
00:45:29,685 --> 00:45:31,088
Hey Wave, did they call you in for--
905
00:45:31,088 --> 00:45:34,855
- Yes, they did. Thanks.
- Oh, right.
906
00:45:34,855 --> 00:45:36,558
- Okay, spill it.
907
00:45:36,558 --> 00:45:38,604
- Okay, I got a new job.
Well second new job.
908
00:45:38,604 --> 00:45:40,815
This is just my day job.
I have a night job, too.
909
00:45:40,815 --> 00:45:43,927
But anyways, I have a new
one. Day job, if I want it.
910
00:45:43,927 --> 00:45:45,854
- We were fired an hour ago.
911
00:45:45,854 --> 00:45:48,002
- I'm a genius. I gotta keep busy, yo.
912
00:45:48,002 --> 00:45:49,715
I'm also a Sound Engineer
for an Indie label.
913
00:45:49,715 --> 00:45:52,981
Got a single dropping next week.
914
00:45:52,981 --> 00:45:53,814
- And you?
915
00:45:53,814 --> 00:45:57,055
- I went to Brown. I
have a network of people.
916
00:45:57,055 --> 00:45:59,420
- Great. I'm screwed.
917
00:45:59,420 --> 00:46:01,420
- No you're not! You'll get another job.
918
00:46:01,420 --> 00:46:05,189
- It's okay for you
executives. But I'm a grunt.
919
00:46:05,189 --> 00:46:08,490
I've been an assistant for
seven years. Seven years!
920
00:46:08,490 --> 00:46:09,323
What was I thinking?
921
00:46:09,323 --> 00:46:11,323
- You were helping run the company.
922
00:46:11,323 --> 00:46:12,558
Like really help run it.
923
00:46:12,558 --> 00:46:14,740
You're a great Executive Assistant, Rudy.
924
00:46:14,740 --> 00:46:15,706
Let me make some calls.
925
00:46:15,706 --> 00:46:17,879
- I don't want calls made.
926
00:46:17,879 --> 00:46:20,426
I don't want to manage someone's schedule.
927
00:46:20,426 --> 00:46:24,552
I want my own schedule. I
don't want to make coffee.
928
00:46:24,552 --> 00:46:26,940
I only want to touch that
crap if somebody else
929
00:46:26,940 --> 00:46:27,998
makes it for me!
930
00:46:27,998 --> 00:46:29,819
- Rudy, now's not the
time to try and leap frog.
931
00:46:29,819 --> 00:46:31,127
You don't have the experience.
932
00:46:31,127 --> 00:46:32,697
- I know that, genius!
933
00:46:32,697 --> 00:46:35,251
- Hey, I was only trying to help.
934
00:46:35,251 --> 00:46:36,584
Do you beat-box?
935
00:46:39,403 --> 00:46:41,368
- You know what would have helped?
936
00:46:41,368 --> 00:46:44,285
Leaving! Leaving would have helped.
937
00:46:45,534 --> 00:46:47,891
The new, restructured ad campaign
938
00:46:47,891 --> 00:46:49,380
that we were going to premier,
939
00:46:49,380 --> 00:46:50,788
that would have helped.
940
00:46:50,788 --> 00:46:54,425
Making a career move after
less than seven years,
941
00:46:54,425 --> 00:46:57,032
that would have helped!
942
00:46:57,032 --> 00:46:58,999
- Wait a minute.
- What?
943
00:46:58,999 --> 00:47:00,507
- The retreat.
944
00:47:00,507 --> 00:47:02,277
- That's right, it's already paid for.
945
00:47:02,277 --> 00:47:05,082
- Non-Refundable. They
busted my ass over it.
946
00:47:05,082 --> 00:47:07,196
- Then we'll go. Spend some
time on the company's dime.
947
00:47:07,196 --> 00:47:08,733
We could do all that
stuff you wanted to do.
948
00:47:08,733 --> 00:47:11,066
Executive stuff like facials.
949
00:47:11,066 --> 00:47:12,564
- And massages.
950
00:47:12,564 --> 00:47:15,147
(harp strings)
951
00:47:21,645 --> 00:47:23,940
It's included, right?
952
00:47:23,940 --> 00:47:25,002
- I know you all are taking me
953
00:47:25,002 --> 00:47:26,786
on that retreat with you, right?
954
00:47:26,786 --> 00:47:28,379
I could use a stone massage.
955
00:47:28,379 --> 00:47:29,212
- Who couldn't?
956
00:47:29,212 --> 00:47:31,270
- Plus before you can
get into any trouble--
957
00:47:31,270 --> 00:47:34,747
- I can just re-wire the computers
and they can all go away.
958
00:47:34,747 --> 00:47:37,829
- Exactly! We all in? Rudy?
959
00:47:37,829 --> 00:47:39,329
- Yeah, fuck yeah.
960
00:47:40,376 --> 00:47:41,843
- [All] Fuck yeah!
961
00:47:41,843 --> 00:47:44,510
(spanish music)
962
00:47:58,274 --> 00:47:59,357
- [Rudy] Wow!
963
00:48:04,006 --> 00:48:04,839
- Donald?
964
00:48:11,935 --> 00:48:14,906
(science fiction robotic beeps)
965
00:48:14,906 --> 00:48:17,406
- Dude. What is the deal?
966
00:48:19,669 --> 00:48:21,086
- I'm going away.
967
00:48:22,993 --> 00:48:23,826
- Okay.
968
00:48:27,484 --> 00:48:28,420
- You wanna come?
969
00:48:28,420 --> 00:48:29,420
- Road trip?
970
00:48:31,892 --> 00:48:32,725
Road trip!
971
00:48:36,602 --> 00:48:39,435
(soft rock music)
972
00:48:40,308 --> 00:48:44,391
This is amazing. I bet
they have great porn here!
973
00:48:47,715 --> 00:48:50,548
It's a paradise. This is paradise.
974
00:48:52,496 --> 00:48:53,329
What?
975
00:49:00,465 --> 00:49:01,298
- Hi?
976
00:49:02,561 --> 00:49:04,176
- What are you doing here?
977
00:49:04,176 --> 00:49:06,016
- What are you doing here?
978
00:49:06,016 --> 00:49:06,943
- I paid for it!
979
00:49:06,943 --> 00:49:07,870
- With my card!
980
00:49:07,870 --> 00:49:09,305
- With your father's card!
981
00:49:09,305 --> 00:49:12,055
And I was fired, so I deserve it.
982
00:49:13,804 --> 00:49:15,054
- Yeah, you do.
983
00:49:15,963 --> 00:49:17,322
Me, too.
984
00:49:17,322 --> 00:49:18,427
- Us, too.
985
00:49:18,427 --> 00:49:19,510
- Hi, Wilder!
986
00:49:22,377 --> 00:49:26,127
- Oh. No, no, no, no,
no. No! No, no, no, no.
987
00:49:27,577 --> 00:49:28,715
(throat clears)
988
00:49:28,715 --> 00:49:29,548
- What?
989
00:49:29,548 --> 00:49:31,131
- You look amazing.
990
00:49:32,540 --> 00:49:34,811
I mean, who else is here?
991
00:49:34,811 --> 00:49:37,366
- Erica, Waverly, Yasmine, and me.
992
00:49:37,366 --> 00:49:38,699
We got here last night.
993
00:49:38,699 --> 00:49:40,186
I've already had a stone massage,
994
00:49:40,186 --> 00:49:43,156
a Swedish massage, and an herbal wrap.
995
00:49:43,156 --> 00:49:45,520
- Well, I'm glad you're here.
996
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:47,996
I wanted to talk to you anyway.
997
00:49:47,996 --> 00:49:48,955
- You did?
998
00:49:48,955 --> 00:49:50,946
- You know the campaign you mentioned?
999
00:49:50,946 --> 00:49:54,279
- Oh, right. Yes, the campaign. Hold on.
1000
00:49:55,806 --> 00:49:56,639
Here.
1001
00:49:58,007 --> 00:50:00,840
- Wow. It's, uh, light.
1002
00:50:02,234 --> 00:50:04,238
- The research is all in there, too.
1003
00:50:04,238 --> 00:50:06,189
I didn't have time to make it all pretty,
1004
00:50:06,189 --> 00:50:08,106
but it's totally sound.
1005
00:50:11,817 --> 00:50:14,329
- Okay, I guess we'll be going then.
1006
00:50:14,329 --> 00:50:15,542
- We're leaving?
1007
00:50:15,542 --> 00:50:18,000
- Oh, the master suite
should still be available.
1008
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:18,833
- What room?
1009
00:50:18,833 --> 00:50:22,379
- Your father's. What would
have been your father's.
1010
00:50:22,379 --> 00:50:25,212
The master suite has two bedrooms.
1011
00:50:28,085 --> 00:50:29,002
- So.
- So.
1012
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:32,043
- So, see you in an hour.
1013
00:50:33,046 --> 00:50:35,821
- Okay! Bye Junior.
1014
00:50:35,821 --> 00:50:36,654
- Um...
1015
00:50:37,994 --> 00:50:39,327
- Donald, right!
1016
00:50:51,184 --> 00:50:52,934
- She's your density.
1017
00:50:54,397 --> 00:50:56,030
- What?
1018
00:50:56,030 --> 00:50:59,666
- Your density.
- Okay, let's just go--
1019
00:50:59,666 --> 00:51:02,066
- Even Marty McFly had a density.
1020
00:51:02,066 --> 00:51:02,899
- So?
1021
00:51:02,899 --> 00:51:05,516
- Well he was a good
Michael J. Fox before...
1022
00:51:05,516 --> 00:51:07,266
- Oh, dude. So wrong.
1023
00:51:13,787 --> 00:51:15,930
- Hm. What's this charge?
1024
00:51:15,930 --> 00:51:18,213
- That looks like the retreat.
1025
00:51:18,213 --> 00:51:20,933
See? We already paid. Paid invoice.
1026
00:51:20,933 --> 00:51:23,560
- I'm going to miss my hot stone massage.
1027
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:27,779
Hey, it's already paid
for. We should just go!
1028
00:51:27,779 --> 00:51:31,460
- That's right. No one has to know.
1029
00:51:31,460 --> 00:51:34,460
- But I already canceled it. On T.V.
1030
00:51:35,462 --> 00:51:38,448
- That doesn't matter. It's good P.R.
1031
00:51:38,448 --> 00:51:42,598
It's just a perception
that you cancelled it.
1032
00:51:42,598 --> 00:51:44,015
- The perception!
1033
00:51:52,475 --> 00:51:53,867
- Oh, dude.
1034
00:51:53,867 --> 00:51:57,200
- Don't tell me! I want to be surprised.
1035
00:51:58,709 --> 00:52:01,113
- Okay, well I'm going
to go do some reading.
1036
00:52:01,113 --> 00:52:02,352
By the pool.
1037
00:52:02,352 --> 00:52:03,898
- Whatever dude.
1038
00:52:03,898 --> 00:52:08,651
- Mmk. You do know that all
the sheets are Egyptian cotton,
1039
00:52:08,651 --> 00:52:09,484
don't ya?
1040
00:52:11,173 --> 00:52:12,006
- Really?
1041
00:52:13,163 --> 00:52:15,163
What's the thread count?
1042
00:52:21,949 --> 00:52:25,971
- What do you mean the suite
is not available? Who's in it?
1043
00:52:25,971 --> 00:52:27,554
- Donald Rigby, Jr.
1044
00:52:28,915 --> 00:52:32,262
- Oh, that's fine. I'll
take the other one.
1045
00:52:32,262 --> 00:52:33,467
Chase, Quincy,
1046
00:52:33,467 --> 00:52:37,362
don't call me 'til I've
had my herbal wrap.
1047
00:52:37,362 --> 00:52:38,195
- Bitch.
1048
00:52:39,996 --> 00:52:44,011
- Is there any way that
I could get the key
1049
00:52:44,011 --> 00:52:46,428
to Donald Rigby, Jr.'s suite?
1050
00:52:47,503 --> 00:52:51,692
He's my boyfriend and
I want to surprise him.
1051
00:52:51,692 --> 00:52:54,953
- Yeah, I'm kind of definitely
not supposed to do that.
1052
00:52:54,953 --> 00:52:55,786
At all.
1053
00:52:57,815 --> 00:52:58,648
Ooh!
1054
00:53:04,374 --> 00:53:07,438
- You can collect your own tip.
1055
00:53:07,438 --> 00:53:08,271
C'mon.
1056
00:53:09,492 --> 00:53:11,492
(moans)
1057
00:53:31,791 --> 00:53:34,413
- [Rudy] We see a
confident business woman.
1058
00:53:34,413 --> 00:53:37,762
We see a woman who runs her own business.
1059
00:53:37,762 --> 00:53:40,520
Strong business woman who are in control
1060
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:42,270
of their own destiny.
1061
00:53:43,147 --> 00:53:46,564
Mary was right. You've made it after all!
1062
00:53:49,616 --> 00:53:52,449
And Conglomerated is here to help.
1063
00:53:56,124 --> 00:53:57,790
So?
1064
00:53:57,790 --> 00:53:59,084
- So...
1065
00:53:59,084 --> 00:54:01,891
- So what did you think?
1066
00:54:01,891 --> 00:54:03,611
- Don't leave a sister hangin'.
1067
00:54:03,611 --> 00:54:06,182
- You like, you no like?
1068
00:54:06,182 --> 00:54:07,015
- I like.
1069
00:54:07,015 --> 00:54:08,845
- Thank God! I'm sweating.
1070
00:54:08,845 --> 00:54:11,173
- My mother says, "women
don't sweat, they glow".
1071
00:54:11,173 --> 00:54:12,588
- Well then I'm glowing like a pig.
1072
00:54:12,588 --> 00:54:14,222
Listen Junior--
- Donald.
1073
00:54:14,222 --> 00:54:16,809
We should call him Donald now.
1074
00:54:16,809 --> 00:54:19,245
Now that he likes our idea.
1075
00:54:19,245 --> 00:54:21,726
We shouldn't just make him
an off-shoot of his father
1076
00:54:21,726 --> 00:54:22,559
when he's an--
1077
00:54:22,559 --> 00:54:23,392
- A what?
1078
00:54:23,392 --> 00:54:24,820
- An individual.
1079
00:54:24,820 --> 00:54:26,662
Look, we reclaimed the "Qwerty" thing
1080
00:54:26,662 --> 00:54:27,931
and made it a power thing,
1081
00:54:27,931 --> 00:54:31,214
and we should do the same
thing here for Donald.
1082
00:54:31,214 --> 00:54:32,385
- Donald?
1083
00:54:32,385 --> 00:54:34,575
- Yes.
- Mhmm. Okay.
1084
00:54:34,575 --> 00:54:36,454
Donald, do I have your approval
1085
00:54:36,454 --> 00:54:38,675
to upload this demo ad online?
1086
00:54:38,675 --> 00:54:39,992
- You can do that from here?
1087
00:54:39,992 --> 00:54:40,825
- Mhmm.
1088
00:54:40,825 --> 00:54:43,218
- Sure, why not? If it goes viral--
1089
00:54:43,218 --> 00:54:44,808
- It can serve as a soft-launch
1090
00:54:44,808 --> 00:54:46,950
for the official marketing campaign.
1091
00:54:46,950 --> 00:54:47,950
- C'mon Yaz.
1092
00:54:51,546 --> 00:54:52,379
- Well...
1093
00:54:53,297 --> 00:54:57,758
- Oh, look at the time!
I gotta go get an EK.
1094
00:54:57,758 --> 00:54:59,827
The stock market in Japan.
1095
00:54:59,827 --> 00:55:00,660
- I know.
1096
00:55:00,660 --> 00:55:01,845
- He went to Stanford.
1097
00:55:01,845 --> 00:55:03,095
- Right. Brown.
1098
00:55:06,562 --> 00:55:07,395
Well.
1099
00:55:15,564 --> 00:55:18,365
(laughs)
1100
00:55:18,365 --> 00:55:19,874
- I'm glad you liked it.
1101
00:55:19,874 --> 00:55:21,825
- Yeah, I like a lot of things you do.
1102
00:55:21,825 --> 00:55:25,992
- Well, it wasn't just me.
It was us. Everyone helped.
1103
00:55:27,932 --> 00:55:32,644
- Yeah, but it's great. So
nice. It's just better Rudy.
1104
00:55:32,644 --> 00:55:35,571
Better for the company,
better for the employees.
1105
00:55:35,571 --> 00:55:36,571
For us.
- Us?
1106
00:55:37,761 --> 00:55:40,761
- Well, for you. You know, as my new
1107
00:55:43,327 --> 00:55:45,653
V.P. of Marketing.
1108
00:55:45,653 --> 00:55:46,856
- What?
1109
00:55:46,856 --> 00:55:47,689
(laughs)
1110
00:55:47,689 --> 00:55:48,522
- Yeah.
1111
00:55:48,522 --> 00:55:50,522
(gasps)
1112
00:55:53,110 --> 00:55:55,610
(phone rings)
1113
00:56:00,501 --> 00:56:02,584
- Crap! Your mom is here.
1114
00:56:03,677 --> 00:56:06,844
She brought Chase and Quincy with her.
1115
00:56:10,828 --> 00:56:11,672
- You have plans for dinner?
1116
00:56:11,672 --> 00:56:12,505
- No.
1117
00:56:12,505 --> 00:56:14,542
- You do now. 8 o'clock. Fancy.
1118
00:56:14,542 --> 00:56:15,375
- Fancy?
1119
00:56:15,375 --> 00:56:16,208
- Mhmm.
1120
00:56:19,595 --> 00:56:22,229
(sighs)
1121
00:56:22,229 --> 00:56:23,793
Hey,
1122
00:56:23,793 --> 00:56:27,035
I am planning a special dinner.
1123
00:56:27,035 --> 00:56:28,546
- Yes, sir. How can we help you?
1124
00:56:28,546 --> 00:56:30,597
We're very discreet
here at the Hotel Zoso.
1125
00:56:30,597 --> 00:56:32,824
- Oh, good. I just wanted some candles.
1126
00:56:32,824 --> 00:56:34,632
- Wax on the nipples, bumping uglies.
1127
00:56:34,632 --> 00:56:36,525
Break it off on me, Daddy.
1128
00:56:36,525 --> 00:56:39,575
- Please shut up. I just want
candles on a table, okay?
1129
00:56:39,575 --> 00:56:42,345
A nice flower arrangement.
Perhaps a bottle of--
1130
00:56:42,345 --> 00:56:45,524
Mother! What are you doing here?
1131
00:56:45,524 --> 00:56:47,034
- What are you doing here?
1132
00:56:47,034 --> 00:56:49,098
They told me you took the better room.
1133
00:56:49,098 --> 00:56:50,650
- Oh, I came to relax.
1134
00:56:50,650 --> 00:56:53,133
All the lay-offs really stressed me out.
1135
00:56:53,133 --> 00:56:57,300
- Oh. Me, too. Let's unwind
over a nice bottle of Merlot.
1136
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:01,093
- Ooh, Cougar! Rawr! Get it.
1137
00:57:02,998 --> 00:57:06,426
- I'd love to, really, but I'm detoxing.
1138
00:57:06,426 --> 00:57:09,093
As part of that, I am cleansing.
1139
00:57:10,502 --> 00:57:11,559
- You're what?
1140
00:57:11,559 --> 00:57:14,495
- Not eating. Like Cher. Or Madonna.
1141
00:57:14,495 --> 00:57:16,224
- Beyonce did it, too, in "Dream Girls"--
1142
00:57:16,224 --> 00:57:18,050
- Would you shut it?
1143
00:57:18,050 --> 00:57:21,748
Anyway, I'm going to
go meditate right now.
1144
00:57:21,748 --> 00:57:23,081
Goodbye, Mother.
1145
00:57:29,839 --> 00:57:31,608
- Well, if you hadn't dared me to.
1146
00:57:31,608 --> 00:57:33,416
- Oh, I dared you to?
- You dared me to.
1147
00:57:33,416 --> 00:57:34,249
- Listen.
1148
00:57:34,249 --> 00:57:36,732
You told me you were going to go in there,
1149
00:57:36,732 --> 00:57:39,331
grab that V.P. of Marketing
position by the balls,
1150
00:57:39,331 --> 00:57:40,831
and drink it deep.
1151
00:57:41,668 --> 00:57:44,875
Oh, and now you're here. Just waffling.
1152
00:57:44,875 --> 00:57:46,477
- I am not.
- Are, too.
1153
00:57:46,477 --> 00:57:47,669
- Am not.
- Are, too.
1154
00:57:47,669 --> 00:57:50,932
- Am not, to infinity!
- Damn it!
1155
00:57:50,932 --> 00:57:51,765
You listen.
1156
00:57:51,765 --> 00:57:53,272
Either you go in there and tie up Junior
1157
00:57:53,272 --> 00:57:56,000
in a compromising position, or I will.
1158
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:59,250
- You will? You're all talk, no action.
1159
00:58:00,180 --> 00:58:02,538
- No, the reason I can't do it right now
1160
00:58:02,538 --> 00:58:04,569
is because I'm in a glycolic peel!
1161
00:58:04,569 --> 00:58:07,760
- Oh, don't worry about it Chase.
1162
00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:09,131
I got this.
1163
00:58:09,131 --> 00:58:11,464
- Well, you better, alright?
1164
00:58:12,679 --> 00:58:14,666
(sighs)
1165
00:58:14,666 --> 00:58:16,916
You are ruining my chakras.
1166
00:58:21,539 --> 00:58:24,649
- This hotel provides
services not on the menu,
1167
00:58:24,649 --> 00:58:25,922
am I correct?
1168
00:58:25,922 --> 00:58:27,307
- We do pride ourselves
1169
00:58:27,307 --> 00:58:29,384
on being a full-service establishment.
1170
00:58:29,384 --> 00:58:31,526
Amenities, and such.
1171
00:58:31,526 --> 00:58:33,943
- How much to service my son?
1172
00:58:35,161 --> 00:58:39,328
See, he's very tense because
he can't tell me he's gay.
1173
00:58:41,304 --> 00:58:43,326
- Really? Wait, really?
1174
00:58:43,326 --> 00:58:46,254
Cause I didn't get nothin'.
1175
00:58:46,254 --> 00:58:48,810
- Just found out, myself.
1176
00:58:48,810 --> 00:58:52,522
He's been living in L.A. with
some hairy man for years.
1177
00:58:52,522 --> 00:58:54,156
Right under my nose.
1178
00:58:54,156 --> 00:58:56,091
- He's a bear cub?
- Yes.
1179
00:58:56,091 --> 00:58:57,532
(gags)
1180
00:58:57,532 --> 00:59:00,631
Now, I've never met this hairy man,
1181
00:59:00,631 --> 00:59:04,375
but I do think Donald is
somewhat of a catch, don't you?
1182
00:59:04,375 --> 00:59:05,802
He could do better.
1183
00:59:05,802 --> 00:59:07,135
- Totally, yeah.
1184
00:59:08,903 --> 00:59:12,134
Wait, so what do you want me to do?
1185
00:59:12,134 --> 00:59:16,301
- I want you to go to his room
and blow away his tension.
1186
00:59:19,602 --> 00:59:23,769
As long as all of this is
handled with the utmost.
1187
00:59:24,874 --> 00:59:27,056
- I am the soul of discretion.
1188
00:59:27,056 --> 00:59:28,889
- Darling, I love you.
1189
00:59:33,007 --> 00:59:35,031
- Girl, I'm gonna suck a dick!
1190
00:59:35,031 --> 00:59:37,031
I know, I love this job.
1191
00:59:41,250 --> 00:59:44,508
- This is going to make
him rip your clothes off.
1192
00:59:44,508 --> 00:59:47,358
- Hello? He can't be ripping
my dress, that's my dress.
1193
00:59:47,358 --> 00:59:48,388
He can't rip it.
- Hello,
1194
00:59:48,388 --> 00:59:50,431
you think Junior is the ripping type?
1195
00:59:50,431 --> 00:59:54,115
- Probably not. Okay, Rudy,
no ripping of the dress.
1196
00:59:54,115 --> 00:59:56,562
Just a slow unzip, okay?
1197
00:59:56,562 --> 00:59:59,395
(soft rock music)
1198
01:00:09,959 --> 01:00:10,792
Waverly?
1199
01:00:12,323 --> 01:00:16,461
- [Yasmine] Yo, Waverly. Waverly, get up!
1200
01:00:16,461 --> 01:00:18,132
- No, I'm okay.
1201
01:00:18,132 --> 01:00:21,394
- Oh my God! What's wrong with you?
1202
01:00:21,394 --> 01:00:23,727
(squealing)
1203
01:00:24,631 --> 01:00:27,464
I'll hit you when you're sleeping!
1204
01:00:29,130 --> 01:00:32,392
- Chase, I can't do
the zipper in the back!
1205
01:00:32,392 --> 01:00:34,050
(groans)
1206
01:00:34,050 --> 01:00:35,168
Damn it!
1207
01:00:35,168 --> 01:00:37,595
- I'll have to do this one myself.
1208
01:00:37,595 --> 01:00:40,382
Never send a cougar to do a man's job.
1209
01:00:40,382 --> 01:00:42,382
(spits)
1210
01:00:43,626 --> 01:00:45,798
- Mother, I told you I'm fasting.
1211
01:00:45,798 --> 01:00:49,040
- And I told you that is ridiculous.
1212
01:00:49,040 --> 01:00:52,505
- I'm giving you another
minute, alright? That's it.
1213
01:00:52,505 --> 01:00:53,338
(gasps)
1214
01:00:53,338 --> 01:00:55,088
- Isn't that Madonna?
1215
01:00:56,718 --> 01:00:58,709
- What? No, I didn't see her.
1216
01:00:58,709 --> 01:01:01,384
- Oh, my mistake.
1217
01:01:01,384 --> 01:01:03,090
You're such a good son
1218
01:01:03,090 --> 01:01:05,970
to give your mother one whole minute more.
1219
01:01:05,970 --> 01:01:09,887
Would you get me a glass
of wine before you go?
1220
01:01:27,370 --> 01:01:29,370
(beeps)
1221
01:01:31,749 --> 01:01:33,040
- [Saleswoman] Hi, how are you today?
1222
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:33,873
- Good, how are you doing?
1223
01:01:33,873 --> 01:01:34,823
- Good, thank you.
1224
01:01:34,823 --> 01:01:35,656
- Good.
1225
01:01:41,709 --> 01:01:43,292
- It's just dinner.
1226
01:01:51,315 --> 01:01:53,398
(snores)
1227
01:01:55,739 --> 01:01:58,016
(beeps)
1228
01:01:58,016 --> 01:02:00,099
(snores)
1229
01:02:07,617 --> 01:02:10,617
- It's going to be $30 for you, sir.
1230
01:02:11,525 --> 01:02:13,377
- Okay. Shit!
1231
01:02:13,377 --> 01:02:15,211
- Can you just put them on my room please?
1232
01:02:15,211 --> 01:02:16,794
- Sure.
- Thank you.
1233
01:02:25,676 --> 01:02:27,676
(beeps)
1234
01:02:31,516 --> 01:02:33,433
- Here, Junior, Junior.
1235
01:02:38,181 --> 01:02:41,264
(instrumental music)
1236
01:02:46,275 --> 01:02:48,692
(rock music)
1237
01:02:50,292 --> 01:02:54,292
I will drink your biscuit.
I will drink it down.
1238
01:03:11,298 --> 01:03:12,298
- Ah. Ah-ha!
1239
01:03:14,570 --> 01:03:17,070
Say hello to my little friend!
1240
01:03:27,473 --> 01:03:29,556
(groans)
1241
01:03:38,943 --> 01:03:40,943
(moans)
1242
01:03:52,102 --> 01:03:54,185
- I hope Donald tips him.
1243
01:04:27,490 --> 01:04:30,073
(Quincy moans)
1244
01:04:37,473 --> 01:04:39,223
- You really like me?
1245
01:04:46,476 --> 01:04:49,226
(soft pop music)
1246
01:05:05,656 --> 01:05:06,489
- Rudy!
1247
01:05:06,489 --> 01:05:07,322
- She's gone.
1248
01:05:07,322 --> 01:05:08,155
- Where?
1249
01:05:08,155 --> 01:05:09,679
- Don't know. Even if I
did, I wouldn't tell you
1250
01:05:09,679 --> 01:05:11,646
after she caught you boning Quincy.
1251
01:05:11,646 --> 01:05:12,820
- I didn't bone Quincy.
1252
01:05:12,820 --> 01:05:14,049
- That's not what she said.
1253
01:05:14,049 --> 01:05:15,429
- Who?
- Quincy.
1254
01:05:15,429 --> 01:05:17,071
- When?
- At the office.
1255
01:05:17,071 --> 01:05:18,411
- No, I mean now.
1256
01:05:18,411 --> 01:05:19,244
- What?
1257
01:05:19,244 --> 01:05:23,125
- I don't want to bone
Quincy, I want to bone Rudy!
1258
01:05:23,125 --> 01:05:24,877
That didn't come out very nice.
1259
01:05:24,877 --> 01:05:27,207
- Well then if it wasn't you, who was it?
1260
01:05:27,207 --> 01:05:28,040
(sighs)
1261
01:05:28,040 --> 01:05:28,873
- Wilder.
1262
01:05:28,873 --> 01:05:29,706
- Who?
1263
01:05:29,706 --> 01:05:32,428
- My roommate. The hairy guy
that faxed the paperwork.
1264
01:05:32,428 --> 01:05:34,054
- [Waverly] You expect us to believe you?
1265
01:05:34,054 --> 01:05:38,538
- Oh, believe him. He didn't.
1266
01:05:38,538 --> 01:05:39,616
You know although,
1267
01:05:39,616 --> 01:05:42,426
Junior, I would have really liked it
1268
01:05:42,426 --> 01:05:44,417
if you were a notch on my belt.
1269
01:05:44,417 --> 01:05:47,878
But I found something a
little bit more meaty.
1270
01:05:47,878 --> 01:05:49,115
(Wilder groans)
1271
01:05:49,115 --> 01:05:50,034
- Yikes. No offense.
1272
01:05:50,034 --> 01:05:53,367
- None taken. I found myself a wild man.
1273
01:05:54,435 --> 01:05:57,352
Oh, he is so big I can hardly walk.
1274
01:05:58,990 --> 01:06:00,659
Oh, come on, lover.
1275
01:06:00,659 --> 01:06:03,326
- Alas, Mateys. There she blows!
1276
01:06:04,220 --> 01:06:06,822
- Jeez. Tell me the appeal, would you?
1277
01:06:06,822 --> 01:06:08,798
- I bet he's all dirty and low.
1278
01:06:08,798 --> 01:06:09,631
- Mhmm.
1279
01:06:10,806 --> 01:06:13,473
- Ladies, focus. Rudy.
1280
01:06:14,315 --> 01:06:18,191
- She said something
about stopping at a dairy.
1281
01:06:18,191 --> 01:06:20,108
- No, girl. Dairy-free.
1282
01:06:20,968 --> 01:06:23,118
- Gelato. Okay, I'm out of here!
1283
01:06:23,118 --> 01:06:25,372
- Oh, not so fast! Where you going?
1284
01:06:25,372 --> 01:06:27,030
- To find Rudy!
1285
01:06:27,030 --> 01:06:28,170
- But you're gay.
1286
01:06:28,170 --> 01:06:29,177
- I'm not gay.
1287
01:06:29,177 --> 01:06:30,494
- You did the hotel clerk.
1288
01:06:30,494 --> 01:06:32,549
- What?
- Knew it.
1289
01:06:32,549 --> 01:06:35,477
- I'm not gay! What are you talking about?
1290
01:06:35,477 --> 01:06:38,079
- I sent the clerk to help
you get over that bear
1291
01:06:38,079 --> 01:06:39,829
you were living with.
1292
01:06:41,421 --> 01:06:42,975
- Where did you hear that?
1293
01:06:42,975 --> 01:06:43,808
- Chase!
1294
01:06:43,808 --> 01:06:45,592
(Chase laughs)
1295
01:06:45,592 --> 01:06:47,527
- Guess who had sausage for breakfast?
1296
01:06:47,527 --> 01:06:49,027
Ooh, tickle buddy!
1297
01:06:50,090 --> 01:06:51,970
- You should never
believe Chase, Antoinette.
1298
01:06:51,970 --> 01:06:53,421
He's been scheming to
take over the company
1299
01:06:53,421 --> 01:06:54,984
since the day he got there.
1300
01:06:54,984 --> 01:06:55,817
- Donald!
1301
01:06:55,817 --> 01:06:57,544
- Dad, what are you doing here?
1302
01:06:57,544 --> 01:06:58,830
- I like to keep tabs on your mother,
1303
01:06:58,830 --> 01:07:00,631
so I tracked her car.
1304
01:07:00,631 --> 01:07:01,464
- Donald.
1305
01:07:01,464 --> 01:07:02,665
- Well you should take it as a compliment.
1306
01:07:02,665 --> 01:07:04,537
I thought I'd show up and surprise you.
1307
01:07:04,537 --> 01:07:06,564
Plus, I want to say to you,
1308
01:07:06,564 --> 01:07:09,879
I saw your ad, the new ad on the internet.
1309
01:07:09,879 --> 01:07:10,844
I liked it.
1310
01:07:10,844 --> 01:07:12,346
- You did?
- Yes!
1311
01:07:12,346 --> 01:07:14,684
- I did! You're all getting promotions.
1312
01:07:14,684 --> 01:07:16,444
- No, they're not. They're fired.
1313
01:07:16,444 --> 01:07:19,777
- Antoinette, I am not arguing with you.
1314
01:07:25,253 --> 01:07:27,273
Do you remember when we first met?
1315
01:07:27,273 --> 01:07:29,259
The fire. The passion.
1316
01:07:29,259 --> 01:07:30,526
It was the night my dog died
1317
01:07:30,526 --> 01:07:32,318
and you were at the Four Seasons.
1318
01:07:32,318 --> 01:07:34,473
Sitting there at the bar, all alone,
1319
01:07:34,473 --> 01:07:36,970
like you had nothing better to do.
1320
01:07:36,970 --> 01:07:38,220
- So beautiful.
1321
01:07:39,150 --> 01:07:41,258
- And I walked up to you and you said,
1322
01:07:41,258 --> 01:07:42,791
"You don't look like a John", and I said,
1323
01:07:42,791 --> 01:07:46,093
"Because I'm a Donald.
So, would you ride with me
1324
01:07:46,093 --> 01:07:48,593
"in my jet plane to Las
Vegas and marry me?".
1325
01:07:48,593 --> 01:07:49,451
- And I said, "yes".
1326
01:07:49,451 --> 01:07:51,183
(laughs)
1327
01:07:51,183 --> 01:07:53,224
- You said, "yes".
1328
01:07:53,224 --> 01:07:55,018
And for the next 30 years,
1329
01:07:55,018 --> 01:07:58,394
you did whatever you wanted
to do and I never argued.
1330
01:07:58,394 --> 01:08:01,311
But now, I've got something to say.
1331
01:08:03,815 --> 01:08:06,061
I hate retirement. It's fucking boring.
1332
01:08:06,061 --> 01:08:08,163
- Dad.
- Totally fucking boring.
1333
01:08:08,163 --> 01:08:09,510
And I'm a terrible golfer.
1334
01:08:09,510 --> 01:08:12,566
So as of Monday, I'm
taking back my company.
1335
01:08:12,566 --> 01:08:14,066
Now, where's Rudy?
1336
01:08:15,820 --> 01:08:16,737
- She left.
1337
01:08:18,346 --> 01:08:20,549
- Well, are you man enough to chase her?
1338
01:08:20,549 --> 01:08:21,382
- Yeah.
1339
01:08:21,382 --> 01:08:23,103
- Then take the Porsche.
1340
01:08:23,103 --> 01:08:25,873
- But she is--
- Perfect for him!
1341
01:08:25,873 --> 01:08:30,708
And listen, if you play your
cards right and keep quiet,
1342
01:08:30,708 --> 01:08:32,095
you're going to have
gorgeous grandchildren
1343
01:08:32,095 --> 01:08:33,174
with a head for finance.
1344
01:08:33,174 --> 01:08:35,038
Now, what do you say we go get us
1345
01:08:35,038 --> 01:08:36,474
one of those nice seaweed wraps
1346
01:08:36,474 --> 01:08:39,125
and you give me a blow job?
1347
01:08:39,125 --> 01:08:39,958
- Mhmm.
1348
01:08:41,084 --> 01:08:44,251
- Donald, you're so naughty.
1349
01:08:45,097 --> 01:08:46,680
- I know, let's go.
1350
01:08:48,308 --> 01:08:51,141
(soft rock music)
1351
01:09:14,740 --> 01:09:16,573
- Komichiwa, Rudy-son?
1352
01:09:18,304 --> 01:09:22,471
- She speaks English and
we're Chinese, you dumb ass.
1353
01:09:33,646 --> 01:09:36,217
- It's freezing in here.
1354
01:09:36,217 --> 01:09:37,970
- It's a freezer, dumb ass.
1355
01:09:37,970 --> 01:09:39,144
- You called me that already.
1356
01:09:39,144 --> 01:09:41,087
- So what? Get used to it.
1357
01:09:41,087 --> 01:09:43,270
- I didn't bone Quincy. Wilder did.
1358
01:09:43,270 --> 01:09:45,520
- I know, I got a text. So?
1359
01:09:46,508 --> 01:09:47,341
- So...
1360
01:09:47,341 --> 01:09:49,387
- So now I'm just supposed to fall for you
1361
01:09:49,387 --> 01:09:51,189
cause you're cute and your eyes crinkle
1362
01:09:51,189 --> 01:09:53,246
at the corners when you smile?
1363
01:09:53,246 --> 01:09:54,719
- You think my eyes are cute.
1364
01:09:54,719 --> 01:09:56,392
- I didn't say that. I said,
1365
01:09:56,392 --> 01:09:58,726
"you would like me to think that".
1366
01:09:58,726 --> 01:10:00,068
- No. What I would like you to think
1367
01:10:00,068 --> 01:10:03,699
is that you are a gorgeous,
super sexy, super smart,
1368
01:10:03,699 --> 01:10:06,723
city college valedictorian,
who can make a mean
1369
01:10:06,723 --> 01:10:09,294
green tea gelato, just as easy as she does
1370
01:10:09,294 --> 01:10:12,344
a national ad campaign that's
already increased revenue
1371
01:10:12,344 --> 01:10:14,511
by 30% among clients.
1372
01:10:17,058 --> 01:10:18,247
- I did?
1373
01:10:18,247 --> 01:10:20,379
- You did. You totally did.
1374
01:10:20,379 --> 01:10:23,129
- Ah. Oh my God. I just love you!
1375
01:10:25,861 --> 01:10:27,306
- What?
1376
01:10:27,306 --> 01:10:28,139
- Nothing.
1377
01:10:29,034 --> 01:10:30,890
- You said you loved me.
1378
01:10:30,890 --> 01:10:33,566
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
1379
01:10:33,566 --> 01:10:34,816
- No, I meant--
1380
01:10:44,702 --> 01:10:47,535
- Dairy-Free. It's an aphrodisiac.
1381
01:10:49,738 --> 01:10:51,834
- What are you thinking right now?
1382
01:10:51,834 --> 01:10:53,667
- It's fucking hot as hell in here.
1383
01:10:53,667 --> 01:10:56,417
(kissing sounds)
1384
01:11:06,150 --> 01:11:07,733
Our focus is women.
1385
01:11:09,117 --> 01:11:11,792
- With their own money.
1386
01:11:11,792 --> 01:11:12,709
- Educated.
1387
01:11:14,284 --> 01:11:15,553
- Smart.
1388
01:11:15,553 --> 01:11:18,378
- And willing to take calculated risks.
1389
01:11:18,378 --> 01:11:20,399
- Conglomerated Assets
is ready to serve you
1390
01:11:20,399 --> 01:11:23,690
with a team dedicated
to your specific needs.
1391
01:11:23,690 --> 01:11:25,198
Heading the new Qwerty Division
1392
01:11:25,198 --> 01:11:26,888
of Conglomerated Assets are
1393
01:11:26,888 --> 01:11:29,245
Rudy Lee, V.P. of Marketing,
1394
01:11:29,245 --> 01:11:32,039
Waverly Thomas, V.P. of New Accounts,
1395
01:11:32,039 --> 01:11:34,857
Erica Jones, V.P. of Technology,
1396
01:11:34,857 --> 01:11:38,719
and Yasmine Rodriguez,
our Resident Genius.
1397
01:11:38,719 --> 01:11:42,795
- [All Four Women] We
are here to work for you.
1398
01:11:42,795 --> 01:11:46,367
- [Junior] And cut!
That is a wrap, people!
1399
01:11:46,367 --> 01:11:49,016
(cheering & applause)
1400
01:11:49,016 --> 01:11:50,165
Thank you, thank you.
1401
01:11:50,165 --> 01:11:52,222
I didn't think I could do it.
1402
01:11:52,222 --> 01:11:56,389
("Beautiful Mess" by David Thiele)
1403
01:12:00,609 --> 01:12:02,723
♫ I was out in this big blue world
1404
01:12:02,723 --> 01:12:03,774
♫ With the future wide open
1405
01:12:03,774 --> 01:12:07,863
♫ Standing right in front of me
1406
01:12:07,863 --> 01:12:11,272
♫ Everything I dreamed
1407
01:12:11,272 --> 01:12:13,474
♫ I could see it too clearly then
1408
01:12:13,474 --> 01:12:18,031
♫ 'Til you came along, met
me down on Lonely Street
1409
01:12:18,031 --> 01:12:21,483
♫ That was when I lost my beat
1410
01:12:21,483 --> 01:12:24,142
♫ Slow down
1411
01:12:24,142 --> 01:12:28,865
♫ One more step in every
single direction, love
1412
01:12:28,865 --> 01:12:32,417
♫ Just to make sure, love
1413
01:12:32,417 --> 01:12:37,178
♫ Won't stop 'til I cover every angle left
1414
01:12:37,178 --> 01:12:41,345
♫ To second guess such a beautiful mess
1415
01:12:42,807 --> 01:12:46,140
♫ Such a beautiful mess
1416
01:12:59,836 --> 01:13:03,415
- Woah, woah. Hold up.
Who is this mother fucker?
1417
01:13:03,415 --> 01:13:05,734
(moans)
1418
01:13:05,734 --> 01:13:06,567
Splat!
93483
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