Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:10,967
Fosse/Verdon. All new,
Tuesdays at 10:00 on FX.
2
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:15,058
ANNOUNCER: FX presents
What We Do in the Shadows.
3
00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:21,717
NANDOR:
Guillermo, I want you to go
4
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,240
tomorrow, and I want you to get
5
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:26,069
some of those things
that humans use for smelling.
6
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:28,332
Rhymes with "hoses."
7
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:29,855
Noses?
8
00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:31,944
NANDOR:
No. It's a green, spiky stick.
9
00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:33,859
You know, with the colors
on the top.
10
00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:35,731
You got the red.
"I love you.
11
00:00:35,774 --> 00:00:37,733
-Here's some..."
-Roses.
12
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:39,300
NANDOR:
Roses, yes.
13
00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:43,086
The Baron's attic has got a bitof a dank whiff.
14
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,305
Since the Baron arrived,
15
00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:46,046
things have been very stressful.
16
00:00:48,004 --> 00:00:50,311
That's our familiar.
17
00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:52,313
NANDOR:
He's staying in our attic
at the moment, and
18
00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:56,491
that's a lot of storage space
that we-we can't use.
19
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:58,449
When is he going
to leave, anyway?
20
00:00:58,493 --> 00:00:59,929
Shh, Nadja!
21
00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:02,236
Guillermo.
22
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:05,543
Well, pull it, then.
23
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:08,329
-NADJA: Oh!
-Too loud!
24
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:09,765
-He needs to pipe down
with that.
-Yes.
25
00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:11,723
-When will he leave?
-Shh.
26
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,117
Nadja, you must keep
your voice down, my darling.
27
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:16,511
Oh, for goodness' sake,
I'm not scared of him.
28
00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:18,513
-Oh...
29
00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:23,039
The Baron has awakened?
30
00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:30,177
Sorry, was that a yes?
31
00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:33,136
-LASZLO: Was it a nod?
-No, I asked and she went,
32
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,920
she went and did this.
33
00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:36,226
That is a nod,
I've seen her do it before.
34
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:37,749
What, this? Like this?
35
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:39,273
-He's awake.
-COLIN: He's awake.
36
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:40,752
Oh, he's awake.
37
00:01:40,796 --> 00:01:42,928
All right, I-I can feel
38
00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:45,496
his energy, it's very dark
and angry, and I think
39
00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:48,369
it's pointed at you guys.
40
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:49,544
Hate to be you guys.
41
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:55,289
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long♪
42
00:01:55,332 --> 00:01:57,943
♪ They have no use
for your song♪
43
00:01:57,987 --> 00:02:00,511
♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead♪
44
00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:02,992
♪ You're dead
and out of this world♪
45
00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:08,171
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone♪
46
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,826
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world♪
47
00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:13,263
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead♪
48
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:16,745
♪ You're dead
and out of this world.♪
49
00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:29,758
In Europe, a couple of centuries
ago, the Baron was a fun guy.
50
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:32,587
And we got up to some
very messy business together.
51
00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:34,415
-Yes.
-Problem is,
52
00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:36,199
he's turned up recently
53
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:39,811
with what only can be describedas pretty old-fashioned ideas.
54
00:02:39,855 --> 00:02:43,380
He's obsessed with the idea ofvampires taking over all humans,
55
00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:46,209
which, at first, you're like,
"Oh, that's a cool idea,"
56
00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:48,777
but then, after a while,
it's like,
57
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:50,779
"Sorry, why are we doing this?"
58
00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:52,998
Yeah.
59
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:54,348
You can bet your balls
he's gonna be furious
60
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:56,001
we haven't come up
with a conquering plan.
61
00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:57,220
NANDOR:
Maybe he's not angry.
62
00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:58,656
Maybe he's just wanting a chat?
63
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:01,355
Get up with the latest
vampire gossip.
64
00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:02,791
--That's highly unlucky, Nandor.
65
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,358
The man's a fucking psychopath.
66
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:06,011
I think he's going
to kill us all.
67
00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:07,361
That's more likely.
68
00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:09,363
Baron, we are here.
69
00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:11,669
But there's really no needfor any kind of grand entrance.
70
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:14,629
Or j-just do your bit--
that's fine, too.
71
00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:21,070
♪ In nomine Patris...♪
72
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:23,028
My slumber is...
73
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:24,116
complete.
74
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,379
Great.
Uh, we weren't sure
75
00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:27,468
that you wanted us
to conquer the whole
76
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,644
of North America, or just, you
know, maybe a couple streets?
77
00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:31,863
Silence!
78
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:35,824
I have heard so much of
the wonders of this New World,
79
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:39,262
yet I have seen of it
not but this attic.
80
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:42,483
Uh, would you like us
to get you a TV?
81
00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:43,875
No.
82
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,661
I want to see the sights.
83
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,663
-I want a night on the town.
84
00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:51,274
A night on the town?
85
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,102
Really? I mean,
won't that be a bit difficult
86
00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,146
with your, um...?
87
00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:56,497
Oh.
88
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,499
You were saying?
89
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:03,112
: No, but I'm sure
we can help you fit in.
90
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:05,854
Marvelous.
91
00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:09,292
-Ah, relax.
92
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,860
This is going to be fun.
93
00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:13,078
No.
94
00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:14,515
Oh, that's the documentary crew.
95
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:22,523
We are so sorry that...
96
00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:25,917
our houseguest ate
your sound recordist.
97
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:27,963
NADJA:
This... what is this
"conquering America" stuff?
98
00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:29,443
He's going to get us killed.
99
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,445
Not unless he tries
to kill us himself first.
100
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,577
-He threw me
straight across the room.
-Most importantly, we are...
101
00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:36,450
...that he ate
your sound recordist.
102
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:37,538
That was very...
103
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:41,106
Yeah. Wasn't very cool.
We'll, uh,
104
00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:43,326
we'll make sure
we look after you people.
105
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,762
And how are we going to do that?
106
00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:46,198
I don't know, uh...
107
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:52,596
NADJA:
Of course it's a trap.
108
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,337
Why would the Baron want
to go on a night out?
109
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:56,426
Because he wants to know howmuch of America we've conquered.
110
00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:58,341
And when he finds out thatwe've just conquered our street
111
00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,474
and part of Ashley Street,
he's going to kill us.
112
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:02,737
But if we seriously think
he's gonna "quack" us...
113
00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:04,782
-NADJA: Which we do.
-...then we should
"quack" him first.
114
00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:07,132
You want us to quackhim?
115
00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:10,701
If you think he's gonna
"whack" us first, yes.
116
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:13,922
Laszlo, be quiet. We will not
discuss this any further.
117
00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:15,489
It is the greatest violation
118
00:05:15,532 --> 00:05:18,492
of the unnatural order
by which we live.
119
00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:20,581
Also, can he even die?
120
00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:22,757
-NADJA: Oh, my...
121
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,149
NANDOR:
You happy now? You just scared
122
00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:25,499
the shit out of all three of us?
123
00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:26,978
Hmm? You don't knock anymore?
124
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:29,372
Is this the new you? Hmm?
125
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,505
Sorry, I just wanted to inform
you that the Baron's ready.
126
00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:33,158
-Oh.
-NADJA: God...
127
00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:34,508
He's really terrifying.
128
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:37,162
Yes, okay, well, we all are,
we are vampires.
129
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,381
Well...
130
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,470
-Eh.
131
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,953
Get out.
132
00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:47,259
We shall call this night
Operation...
133
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:49,610
Accidentally Kill the Baron.
134
00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:53,048
Absolutely not. At least think
of a different name.
135
00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:56,399
This conversation
never happened.
136
00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:09,281
She keeps looking at me.
137
00:06:11,283 --> 00:06:13,503
Don't look at her.
138
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:20,031
Bloody hell,
he's wearing two ruffs.
139
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:25,515
-Let our grand evening
on the town commence.
140
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:26,995
-NADJA: Yes! Very good.
- Yes.
141
00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:30,825
Yes, uh, this is what
you're going to wear?
142
00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:33,871
Is it not right?
143
00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:37,571
Y-Yes, I mean, you look
the... dog's knackers.
144
00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:41,052
But, um, where we come from,
two ruffs
145
00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:43,228
means you're up for anything.
146
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,796
Uh, it's best just to kind ofblend in like-- like we are now.
147
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,624
Yes.
148
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:49,844
Yes, I see.
149
00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:53,674
I want to walk amongst
the commoners unnoticed.
150
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,632
-NADJA: Yes.
-A prince amongst paupers.
151
00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:57,591
-NADJA: Yes, very good.
Very good.
-NANDOR: Exactly.
152
00:06:57,634 --> 00:07:00,071
Two ruffs don't make a right.
153
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:04,728
Colin Robinson.
154
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:07,905
Oh, wow. Uh... hello.
155
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,820
NANDOR:You wouldn't happen to have any
156
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:13,302
human-type clothes
to lend to the Baron?
157
00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:16,827
Uh, yeah, I-I could
scrounge something up.
158
00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:18,046
What size are you?
159
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,700
Mm, this size.
160
00:07:19,743 --> 00:07:23,268
And what kind of vibe
are-are you going for?
161
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:27,055
Jeans, T-shirt? Are you a jeansand T-shirt type of guy?
162
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:28,709
Probably not shorts.
163
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:33,278
Um, maybe some cords,
some w-wale cords.
164
00:07:33,322 --> 00:07:35,280
He is not coming along, is he?
165
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,500
I will take care of it.
166
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:41,112
Oh, okay. But don't make
a big thing out of it.
167
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,897
-Mm?
-Okay.
168
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:46,640
LASZLO:
Vampires have hidden
amongst humans
169
00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:48,337
for millennia.
170
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:50,600
There are some in the community that believe
171
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:53,734
that vampires
should rule the world.
172
00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:55,518
One such person
173
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:56,737
is the Baron.
174
00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:59,087
And he's become a massive prick.
175
00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,306
Absolutely agree.
176
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:04,353
LASZLO:
Which is ironic,
because he doesn't have one.
177
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:10,664
Where is he?
178
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:13,144
He was right behind us.
179
00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:14,798
-LASZLO: Ah.
180
00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:16,887
NANDOR:
He's going to frighten
the townspeople.
181
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:20,108
-Oh.
182
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:22,197
-LASZLO: Um...
-MAN: Holy shit.
183
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,329
A lot of these buildings
are, uh, are taverns,
184
00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:26,767
-or bars as they call them.
-NADJA: Don't mind him.
185
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:28,116
-WOMAN: Did you see that?
-Why are these pedestrians
186
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:29,378
making rictus faces at us?
187
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:30,597
MAN 2:
Oh, my God.
188
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,424
Devils suck, man.
189
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:33,425
We are vampires!
190
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:34,601
Shh! What are you doing?
191
00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:36,777
He is literally going around,
192
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:40,128
telling everyone, "Nice to meetyou, I am vampire."
193
00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:41,912
And, you know,
there's only so many times
194
00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:44,741
you can say that he's joking,
because look at his face.
195
00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:48,179
-Yo, Laz. Nadja. Whoa...
196
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:51,792
I was just, uh, stocking upon some brews for the big game.
197
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,968
Who is this guy?
198
00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:56,144
NADJA:
No, no, no. This is
our neighbor Sean, sire.
199
00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:57,798
NANDOR:
He brings our trash cans in
200
00:08:57,841 --> 00:08:59,756
when we forget them.
201
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,978
What the fuck? How did he...?
202
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:05,588
LASZLO:
Shut up.
You won't remember anything
203
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:08,591
from the last five minutes.
204
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:10,767
Yo, Laz, Nadja.
205
00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:12,943
I was just going to stock up
on some more brews.
206
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:15,424
-Oh, no, no, no, no.
-LASZLO: No, no, no, no...
207
00:09:16,904 --> 00:09:18,732
BARON:
We will fill this place
208
00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:21,430
with the carcasses
of the conquered.
209
00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:23,954
Some humans will become slaves.
210
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:26,435
The rest, food.
211
00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:28,872
Slave.
212
00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,874
WOMAN :
Pharmacy, pick up
line three, please.
213
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:31,875
Pharmacy, line three.
214
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:34,835
Food.
215
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:37,185
He's as mad as a wax banana.
216
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:39,187
-He's a fucking liability.
-I think it might be
217
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:40,754
better if he dies.
218
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:43,887
How about we just put his coffinon a nice, long ocean journey?
219
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:46,977
Look at this wonderful talisman.
220
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:49,240
-Whoop.
221
00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:51,765
Need I haggle
with the proprietor?
222
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:54,855
-Just put it in your pocket.
-Hmm. It is done.
223
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:58,902
BARON:
Let us see, what to drink.
224
00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:00,643
What to...
225
00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:04,473
-LASZLO: Oh, no, no.
226
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:08,825
NANDOR:Oh, give him a nice hug from us.
227
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:10,827
-Is he okay? I...
-NADJA: Ha, ha.
228
00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,873
Whoa, dear. Hi.
229
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:15,440
The Baron is being
very loud and obvious
230
00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:18,922
and vampirey and reckless.
231
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:21,795
He had
a very high alcohol content.
232
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:24,449
Do you think maybe
we should move the body?
233
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:27,061
Now he's just gone up
to a drunk man
234
00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:28,932
and he's drunk
the drunk man's blood
235
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:31,065
that has made him drunk.
236
00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:33,241
Okay. That's a...
237
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:34,895
Just a little dizzy. Okay.
238
00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:37,288
-A little dizzy, little dizzy.
239
00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:42,337
I am better.
240
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,469
Back in the saddle.
241
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,384
The drinking saddle!
242
00:10:47,516 --> 00:10:48,735
That was bollocks.
243
00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:56,525
♪ We need you now...♪
244
00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:58,962
You people are as much fun
as the plague.
245
00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:01,051
Remember the plague?
And how much fun it was?
246
00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:02,531
That's this.
247
00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:05,273
-Let's liven this place up.
-Not too lively.
248
00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:09,277
It's very important to just
blend in and go with the flow.
249
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,713
Or we could do shots.
250
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:13,107
Shots, shots, shots,
shots, shots,
251
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:15,500
shots, shots, shots,
shots, shots, shots,
252
00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:16,937
shots, shots, shots, shots.
253
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:19,896
LASZLO:
For God's sake.
254
00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:22,986
Oh, who wants a shot?
255
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:24,509
We could do shots.
256
00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:28,862
Just a minute.
257
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:31,734
-And I said,
258
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:34,911
"No, how do you like
yourstakes?"
259
00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:38,001
And pushed itright through his stupid heart.
260
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:42,136
You know I'm not really a baron.
261
00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:43,746
NANDOR :
Yes, you are.
262
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,748
You're the Baron.
263
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:48,969
No, I am not. It was a nickname.
264
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,753
To tease me.
265
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:53,625
Barren, B-A-R-R-E-N.
266
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:54,757
Huh.
267
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,846
Because I cannot sire offspring
268
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:59,893
due to my lack of genitals.
269
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:02,199
-Hello-- whoop!
-There it isn't.
270
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:03,766
NADJA:
I like it.
271
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,987
All I ever wanted
was a child of my own.
272
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:11,426
Well, I don't know, Baron.
273
00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:14,385
Maybe we could be your children.
274
00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:16,561
-NADJA: Yes.
-Yes.
275
00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:17,998
-Yes.
-Also, maybe
276
00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:20,217
you want to pull
your pants back up now or...?
277
00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:22,393
Hmm? Oh, of course.
278
00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:24,613
NADJA:
Aw...
279
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:31,011
NADJA:
The Baron,
280
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:33,013
he told us very sad story.
281
00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:35,929
We might not kill him now--
282
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:37,931
no, not going to kill him.
283
00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:41,412
BARON:
It's just hard.
284
00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:45,025
I used to derive such pleasure
from killing,
285
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:46,940
but now... it's just a thing
286
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:50,813
I do because... why?
287
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,815
Because I've always
done it, I guess?
288
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:56,253
And these dark rages
that overtake me,
289
00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:58,690
oh, my mind is devouring itself.
290
00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,040
Aw...
291
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:01,476
We're all going through shit.
292
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,217
It's hard doing what we do.
293
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:05,175
BARON:
You know...
294
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,177
this is going
to sound odd, but...
295
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:09,049
I was thinking of killing
all of you tonight.
296
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:10,180
NADJA:
Ah.
297
00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:12,008
-Yeah, yeah, I was.
-Ah.
298
00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:13,836
BARON:
What have I become?
299
00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:20,930
Guess what.
300
00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:26,414
We were going to kill you
tonight, too.
301
00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:33,725
NANDOR:
We were going to kill you!
302
00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:36,685
It was, it was Laszlo's idea.
303
00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:39,209
-Yeah, it was.
304
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:40,645
He had the stake,
305
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,082
-the...
306
00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:43,997
...stake...
307
00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:47,478
I beg your pardon?
308
00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:48,915
NANDOR:
Uh...
309
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,525
LASZLO:
He was just joking, it was,
310
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,875
it was just an idea
that we were kicking upstream.
311
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,964
NANDOR:
Was more of a "what if"
situation.
312
00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:58,663
-Like, "What if?" and then "No."-Shut up.
313
00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:03,538
You... "kicked upstream"
314
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:06,671
the idea of killing...
315
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,108
me?
316
00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:10,675
As a joke. Nothing more.
317
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,112
NADJA:
Just a-- a laugh.
318
00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:13,156
NANDOR:
Nothing happened.
319
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:24,689
LASZLO:
Oh...
320
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,343
-Your faces!
-Oh, the Baron...
321
00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:27,779
-Oh...
-You shithead.
322
00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:29,694
BARON:
Oh, I am proud of you.
323
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:31,696
If I were you, I would have
done the same thing.
324
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:34,351
BARON:
Where is next?
325
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:36,266
You know what I have
always wanted to try?
326
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:37,964
-Coprophilia.
-No.
327
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:39,574
Pizza pie.
328
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:42,098
Is it as wonderful
as they sa...?
329
00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:43,926
Coprophilia?
330
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,710
Sire, this is an even worse idea
331
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,582
than when we tried
to invade Vienna.
332
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,105
It's certainly going
to make you very ill.
333
00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:51,194
I'm having pizza pie.
334
00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:53,762
Oh, no, no, no.
335
00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:57,331
Mmm.
336
00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:00,334
Mmm.
337
00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:01,944
The garlic burnt a little,
but...
338
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:09,082
Down he goes.
339
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,779
-NANDOR: He's up again.
340
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:11,780
NADJA:
The Baron has eaten
341
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,956
some human food and now his body
342
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,611
is being propelled around
by his own vomit.
343
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:18,091
-LASZLO: Is he all right?-NANDOR: Now, where's he going?
344
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:19,788
NADJA:
So, that's what's happening
345
00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,137
right now.
346
00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:26,403
-LASZLO: There he is.
-NADJA: Ooh.
347
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:37,980
Uh...
348
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,375
Totally worth it.
349
00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:42,767
What is next?
350
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:10,012
♪ I♪
351
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:13,233
♪ I'm alive♪
352
00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:18,238
♪ I'm alive.♪
353
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:20,153
We drank the blood
of some people,
354
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:22,372
but the people were on drugs
355
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:24,809
and now I am a wizard.
356
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:29,031
The Baron is, is very,
actually... great man...
357
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,424
I drank the drug blood.
358
00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:32,252
Yes, I drank some drug blood.
359
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:34,254
We drank-- we've done
some drug blood.
360
00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:36,821
BARON:
♪ It is the time♪
361
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,823
♪ Of the season♪
362
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:42,262
♪ When the love runs high♪
363
00:16:42,305 --> 00:16:43,654
♪ It is the time...♪
364
00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:47,180
That's the Baron I remember.
365
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:49,878
Having a really great time,
366
00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:51,923
but it's almost sunup.
367
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:54,709
I think we should leave soon,otherwise we're gonna be fried.
368
00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:59,627
It's the time of the season♪
369
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:04,284
♪ For loving♪
370
00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:05,850
♪ Ah.♪
371
00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:07,852
Laszlo, can you see if they have
372
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:10,203
"Girl in the Village
with the One Small Foot"
373
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,074
by Vasilios the Balladeer?
374
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,858
-Yep.
-Never mind.
375
00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:15,164
I'll sing a cappella.
376
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:16,731
-LASZLO: Okay.
377
00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:19,690
♪ There was a girl
in the village♪
378
00:17:19,734 --> 00:17:22,867
♪ She had one very small foot♪
379
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,087
♪ Did she lose her foot
in the well?♪
380
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:26,654
-It is time
to return to our den.
-♪ No one knows♪
381
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:29,874
-♪ No one knows...♪
-Party's over.
382
00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:31,354
I said we are leaving!
383
00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:34,314
-NANDOR: We should go.
-LASZLO: Yeah, yeah.
384
00:17:34,357 --> 00:17:35,532
-NADJA: The sun is coming.
385
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,360
NANDOR:
The door's stuck again.
386
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:39,449
Everyone, quickly,
the sun is coming.
387
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:43,323
-♪ Par-tay!♪
-Come on.
388
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,325
Just one foot at a time, Baron.
389
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:47,240
COLIN:
Someone sure had
a good time, huh?
390
00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:50,112
NADJA:
Colin Robinson, we missed you.
391
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:51,157
-BARON: Hi.
-What?
392
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,680
What-What's wrong with you?
393
00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,116
We are on drugs.
394
00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:58,338
Have you partaken
of the pizza pie?
395
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:03,691
NANDOR:
I can do this, I can do this.
396
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:06,215
NADJA :
Oh, no, the sunlight.
397
00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:07,912
-Laszlo!
398
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,349
Careful.
399
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:10,480
Be careful.
400
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:11,916
-Oh...
-Oh, man.
401
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,266
BARON:
Look at this... wait.
402
00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:16,138
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
403
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:17,531
No, the sunlight.
404
00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:19,272
I'm so scared.
405
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:20,708
No, no, no, Baron.
406
00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:22,536
-Baron...
-No, no, no, no!
407
00:18:22,579 --> 00:18:25,278
No, no, no, no, go easy.
It's dangerous, man.
408
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:27,149
He's being an idiot.
Come on, Baron.
409
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:29,282
You're a bunch of pussies...
410
00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:31,936
NADJA :
See what you've done.
411
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,242
-Did you see that?
-You hurt yourself.
412
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:35,331
-Come on, Baron.
-Put your night skirts on
413
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:36,724
-and go to coffin.
-BARON: All right, okay,
414
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,378
-okay, okay.
-Go to coffin, Baron.
415
00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:41,381
Thing off, I don't know
how to work this.
416
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:42,512
-Oh-- ah!
417
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:43,513
LASZLO:
Oh, shit.
418
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:50,390
LASZLO:
Baron?
419
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:53,001
Well, that was unexpected.
420
00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:54,829
Uh, oh-- oh...
421
00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:58,311
oh... aw...
422
00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:00,356
Hello.
Oh.
423
00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:04,404
-NADJA: Shit.
-LASZLO: Shit.
424
00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:05,970
-Is he dead?
-Oh, no.
425
00:19:06,014 --> 00:19:08,408
Ouchie.
426
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,192
Just a little sore.
427
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,194
Oh, God-- Oh. Oh...
428
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:14,327
lucky I missed
these wooden stakes.
429
00:19:15,893 --> 00:19:17,591
He's safe.
430
00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:19,767
I am okay.
431
00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:28,210
What's that smell?
432
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,820
Hey, I got the rose...
433
00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:34,129
Fuck.
434
00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:39,569
Oh...
435
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:41,049
-Wow.
436
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:43,051
Oh, shit.
437
00:19:43,094 --> 00:19:45,009
♪ Let's go sunning♪
438
00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:46,446
♪ It's so good for you♪
439
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,361
♪ Let's go sunning♪
440
00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:50,450
♪ 'Neath the sky of blue♪
441
00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:53,279
♪ Greet the sun every morn♪
442
00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:56,282
♪ Feel as free and happy
as the day you were born♪
443
00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:58,675
♪ Let's go native♪
444
00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:01,591
♪ Sun your cares away,
be creative♪
445
00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:03,593
♪ Learn to live and play♪
446
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:06,379
♪ Pretty flowers need the sun♪
447
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:09,904
♪ This applies to everyone♪
448
00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:13,037
♪ Happiness to everyone♪
449
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:17,085
♪ So let's go sunning.♪
450
00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:27,138
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
451
00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:32,883
Very cool, Master.
452
00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:39,368
-Name that tune!
453
00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:42,893
Ow!
454
00:20:44,895 --> 00:20:47,855
"I'm a vampire.
I'm immortal."
455
00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:50,945
-Creepy paper.
-It's "crepe paper," Master.
456
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:53,426
Creepy.
Oh, multipack.
457
00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:55,166
ANNOUNCER:
What We Do in the Shadows.
458
00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:58,387
All new, Wednesday
at 10:00 on FX.
459
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:10,312
Again.
460
00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:14,490
Fosse/Verdon. All new,
Tuesdays at 10:00 on FX.
461
00:21:15,796 --> 00:21:17,667
Whoa. Gotta use
only the right foot.
462
00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:19,408
You gotta alternate.
463
00:21:24,413 --> 00:21:25,893
Okay. Good lesson.
464
00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:27,547
ANNOUNCER: Better Things.
465
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:28,591
All new
Thursdays at 10:00 on FX.
32188
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.