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1
00:00:03,501 --> 00:00:05,286
Will somebody get that?
2
00:00:05,294 --> 00:00:06,410
Gene, why don't
you get the phone?
3
00:00:06,415 --> 00:00:07,631
You're so good at it.
4
00:00:07,671 --> 00:00:09,305
You know, it could be someone
5
00:00:09,312 --> 00:00:10,929
offering free chicken satay...
6
00:00:10,936 --> 00:00:13,187
I'll get it, I'll get it!
7
00:00:13,197 --> 00:00:15,532
Bob's Burg... Aah!
It's all over my ear!
8
00:00:15,541 --> 00:00:17,374
You just got gooped.
9
00:00:17,466 --> 00:00:19,300
Aah! Mmm. Grape jelly.
10
00:00:19,393 --> 00:00:21,527
This is the best prank war
we've ever had.
11
00:00:21,535 --> 00:00:22,735
Goop there it is.
12
00:00:22,825 --> 00:00:24,960
Aw! Did I just miss a goop?
13
00:00:24,968 --> 00:00:26,718
Haven't you kids
done enough gooping?
14
00:00:26,726 --> 00:00:27,926
Never!
15
00:00:27,931 --> 00:00:30,431
Ah! Guacamole!
16
00:00:30,444 --> 00:00:32,862
No! Shaving cream!
17
00:00:32,871 --> 00:00:34,538
Ah! Hummus!
18
00:00:34,545 --> 00:00:35,846
Ah! Toothpaste!
19
00:00:35,852 --> 00:00:37,968
Double goop! Double goop!
20
00:00:38,029 --> 00:00:40,397
So, pretty much just
a huge waste of food.
21
00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:42,157
And toiletries.
22
00:00:42,164 --> 00:00:43,715
You kids didn't goop the phone
in the kitchen, did you?
23
00:00:43,722 --> 00:00:45,139
Well, there's no way
to know for sure.
24
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:46,512
It's clean.
25
00:00:46,518 --> 00:00:47,984
I mean, as clean as it ever is.
26
00:00:48,025 --> 00:00:49,108
Bob's Burgers.
27
00:00:49,197 --> 00:00:50,331
Hello, Bob.
28
00:00:50,336 --> 00:00:51,619
It's Skip Marooch.
29
00:00:51,625 --> 00:00:52,791
The celebrity chef!
30
00:00:52,881 --> 00:00:54,298
Skip Marooch. Hi.
31
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,770
I... um, I can barely hear you.
32
00:00:55,861 --> 00:00:57,395
I'm in a helicopter.
33
00:00:57,402 --> 00:00:59,953
I'm searching for exotic spices
for my new book.
34
00:01:00,048 --> 00:01:02,166
Oh. Is that a good way
to do that?
35
00:01:02,175 --> 00:01:04,092
I mean, spices are so small.
36
00:01:04,099 --> 00:01:06,483
Listen, you know how much
I like your food, right?
37
00:01:06,579 --> 00:01:07,611
Yeah. Thanks.
38
00:01:07,699 --> 00:01:09,417
I just got off the phone
39
00:01:09,425 --> 00:01:11,426
with a journalist
for Coasters magazine.
40
00:01:11,434 --> 00:01:14,052
They're doing a piece
on unknown restaurants.
41
00:01:14,063 --> 00:01:15,981
It's like an "undiscovered gems"
kind of thing.
42
00:01:15,989 --> 00:01:19,240
I told them they should try
your place, Bob.
43
00:01:19,337 --> 00:01:20,838
Oh, that's great.
44
00:01:20,845 --> 00:01:22,679
I mean, we're not unknown, Skip.
45
00:01:22,686 --> 00:01:25,020
I mean, I feel like
we're sort of under-known.
46
00:01:25,081 --> 00:01:26,331
No, I know.
47
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:27,586
But here's the thing,
48
00:01:27,593 --> 00:01:29,427
they have to do it today.
49
00:01:29,434 --> 00:01:32,053
Can you do 3:00, Bob?
Uh, yeah!
50
00:01:32,064 --> 00:01:33,947
Great! This'll really
put you on the map.
51
00:01:34,039 --> 00:01:35,205
Wow. Thank you.
52
00:01:35,244 --> 00:01:37,079
Did I tell you
I'm in a helicopter?
53
00:01:37,087 --> 00:01:39,004
Yep. Yep, that's great.
54
00:01:39,012 --> 00:01:41,097
This is exciting.
Guess who that was?
55
00:01:41,105 --> 00:01:42,322
Uh... Alive or dead?
56
00:01:42,328 --> 00:01:43,578
No. Linda.
57
00:01:43,584 --> 00:01:45,201
It was Skip Marooch.
58
00:01:45,208 --> 00:01:46,959
Oh. That's why you
said "Skip Marooch"
59
00:01:46,966 --> 00:01:48,216
when you picked up the phone.
60
00:01:48,222 --> 00:01:49,973
He told this magazine
writer about us
61
00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:51,697
and now he's coming here
this afternoon at 3:00
62
00:01:51,704 --> 00:01:53,321
to do a profile on us.
63
00:01:53,329 --> 00:01:54,829
He's bringing
a photographer with him.
64
00:01:54,919 --> 00:01:56,420
I hope it's Annie Leibovitz.
65
00:01:56,427 --> 00:01:58,811
I want to be pregnant
and painted like Demi Moore!
66
00:01:58,854 --> 00:02:00,855
What magazine is it?
?Coasters.
67
00:02:00,864 --> 00:02:02,415
Coasters?
68
00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:03,872
Coasters.
?Wow.
69
00:02:03,878 --> 00:02:05,378
You read Coasters?
70
00:02:05,385 --> 00:02:06,602
Everybody reads Coasters.
71
00:02:06,607 --> 00:02:08,058
It's that free magazine.
72
00:02:08,064 --> 00:02:09,364
You can't not read Coasters.
73
00:02:09,370 --> 00:02:10,787
Aunt Gayle bought me
a subscription.
74
00:02:10,793 --> 00:02:12,660
But now I'm finding out
it's free.
75
00:02:12,753 --> 00:02:14,504
A profile! Oh!
76
00:02:14,511 --> 00:02:15,761
That's practically the cover!
77
00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:17,568
What am I gonna wear?
78
00:02:17,575 --> 00:02:19,276
Wait, what are you gonna wear?
Are you ready for this?
79
00:02:19,283 --> 00:02:20,700
I'm... yeah, of course.
80
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:21,957
I mean, I've done
interviews before.
81
00:02:21,962 --> 00:02:23,127
When?
?ln the bathtub.
82
00:02:23,135 --> 00:02:24,342
I do both parts.
83
00:02:24,390 --> 00:02:25,273
How do they go?
84
00:02:25,277 --> 00:02:26,277
Uh... Some go well.
85
00:02:26,281 --> 00:02:27,447
I walked out of one.
86
00:02:27,487 --> 00:02:28,487
What were they asking you?
87
00:02:28,491 --> 00:02:29,742
Were they ding-dong questions,
88
00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:30,798
and you didn't want to go there?
89
00:02:30,836 --> 00:02:32,086
Maybe this afternoon,
90
00:02:32,092 --> 00:02:33,426
if you could all just act...
91
00:02:33,432 --> 00:02:34,933
like normal people that are...
92
00:02:34,940 --> 00:02:36,407
totally different people...
93
00:02:36,413 --> 00:02:37,862
than the people that you are.
94
00:02:37,954 --> 00:02:40,038
I'll be Tina.
Tina, you be me.
95
00:02:40,046 --> 00:02:42,213
Okay. I'll be Gene,
I like his whole deal.
96
00:02:42,307 --> 00:02:43,440
Also, no more gooping.
97
00:02:43,529 --> 00:02:44,946
No more future goopings.
98
00:02:44,952 --> 00:02:46,118
You got it, buddy.
99
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:47,658
Louise, I am serious.
100
00:02:47,664 --> 00:02:49,498
Yeah, there will be no
goopings put into action
101
00:02:49,507 --> 00:02:51,892
excluding any and all
current or existing goopings
102
00:02:51,902 --> 00:02:53,185
that have heretofore been laid.
103
00:02:53,190 --> 00:02:54,440
Oh, my God.
104
00:02:54,530 --> 00:02:56,448
This could be big for us.
105
00:02:56,456 --> 00:02:57,789
I know, it's friggin'
Coasters, Bob.
106
00:02:57,795 --> 00:02:59,296
Hey, maybe you should do
107
00:02:59,303 --> 00:03:00,770
some practice questions
for your interview.
108
00:03:00,776 --> 00:03:02,192
Um, okay, sure.
109
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,484
Okay, here we go.
110
00:03:03,489 --> 00:03:05,823
Who is Bob Belcher?
111
00:03:05,832 --> 00:03:08,167
What is Bob Belcher?
112
00:03:08,177 --> 00:03:10,845
Where is Bob Belcher?
113
00:03:10,855 --> 00:03:13,107
Okay, Lin, that...
Why is Bob Belcher?
114
00:03:13,117 --> 00:03:14,534
They're not gonna ask
questions like that.
115
00:03:14,540 --> 00:03:16,374
Ever.
?Why? No, yeah.
116
00:03:16,382 --> 00:03:17,632
And you're waving
a knife in my face,
117
00:03:17,637 --> 00:03:18,854
which is making me nervous, Lin.
118
00:03:18,860 --> 00:03:20,644
You're rattled. Good.
119
00:03:20,651 --> 00:03:22,402
That's the first honest thing
you've said all day.
120
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:24,661
Ooh. Oh, I think I might
be getting diarrhea.
121
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:25,888
Okay, too honest.
122
00:03:25,893 --> 00:03:27,309
Oh... Panic poops.
123
00:03:27,399 --> 00:03:29,100
Oh, my God.
124
00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:30,609
I keep forgetting Gene
clogged the employee toilet.
125
00:03:30,615 --> 00:03:33,250
Yeah, he flushed all his old
stuffed animals down there.
126
00:03:33,261 --> 00:03:35,128
He's a big boy now.
Right. I know.
127
00:03:35,135 --> 00:03:36,384
It's just...
we should deal with it.
128
00:03:36,476 --> 00:03:37,693
No. He isn't ready.
129
00:03:37,698 --> 00:03:39,315
He visits 'em in there.
130
00:03:39,322 --> 00:03:41,323
Oh, boy. I'll use
the restaurant bathroom.
131
00:03:47,073 --> 00:03:48,992
Aah! Is there something
on this toilet seat?!
132
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,249
Uh-oh, Dad!
133
00:03:50,340 --> 00:03:51,840
You just got gooped!
?Ugh.
134
00:03:51,847 --> 00:03:53,681
It was supposed to be for Gene,
135
00:03:53,688 --> 00:03:55,189
but he didn't take
his mid-morning bathroom break
136
00:03:55,195 --> 00:03:56,445
for some reason.
137
00:03:56,452 --> 00:03:58,153
I'm on a cheese cleanse!
138
00:03:58,159 --> 00:04:00,242
Physically and spiritually!
139
00:04:00,336 --> 00:04:02,252
Louise, what exactly is this?
140
00:04:02,312 --> 00:04:03,763
It's grease or something.
141
00:04:03,769 --> 00:04:05,935
It was in a jar
Teddy left in the basement.
142
00:04:07,285 --> 00:04:08,618
Um, is it possible it's glue?
143
00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:10,425
I don't know. Why?
144
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,434
Because I'm stuck to the toilet!
145
00:04:14,834 --> 00:04:17,662
I can't get up.
146
00:04:17,673 --> 00:04:19,240
Louise, you glued me
to the toilet.
147
00:04:19,247 --> 00:04:22,249
It was supposed to be
slimy non-sticky goop,
148
00:04:22,261 --> 00:04:23,677
and it was supposed to be Gene!
149
00:04:23,734 --> 00:04:24,733
The door's locked.
150
00:04:24,739 --> 00:04:26,023
I know!
151
00:04:26,029 --> 00:04:27,529
I can't reach it!
152
00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:29,286
We need to get in there.
Oh, my God, Bob!
153
00:04:29,293 --> 00:04:31,261
The guys from Coasters
are coming!
154
00:04:31,353 --> 00:04:33,304
Yes, Linda, I remember.
155
00:04:33,312 --> 00:04:36,147
God, I hate this stupid toilet
that Felix put in here!
156
00:04:36,158 --> 00:04:38,126
It doesn't even have a seat.
It's Swiss.
157
00:04:38,134 --> 00:04:39,750
It's like a really
nice prison toilet.
158
00:04:39,842 --> 00:04:41,843
Louise, what if a customer
came in here?
159
00:04:41,851 --> 00:04:43,402
They would have sued.
160
00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:45,109
I'm your dad,
and I want to sue you!
161
00:04:45,167 --> 00:04:47,034
What about Teddy? Sue him.
162
00:04:47,042 --> 00:04:49,509
Leaving his goop everywhere,
just taunting me with it.
163
00:04:49,605 --> 00:04:51,472
Classic goop suit.
164
00:04:51,479 --> 00:04:53,479
Linda, call Teddy.
Yeah. Sue his ass!
165
00:04:53,539 --> 00:04:54,823
No, Tina, we're not...
166
00:04:54,829 --> 00:04:56,329
He'll know how to fix this.
167
00:04:56,335 --> 00:04:58,386
Yeah. Call him
to ask him to fix it.
168
00:04:58,395 --> 00:05:00,847
Hello?
169
00:05:00,857 --> 00:05:03,525
Teddy, Bob had panic poops
because a magazine is coming,
170
00:05:03,535 --> 00:05:04,952
and then Louise put some stuff
you left in our basement
171
00:05:04,958 --> 00:05:06,375
on the toilet seat.
172
00:05:06,382 --> 00:05:07,933
It was something in a jar.
173
00:05:07,939 --> 00:05:09,773
And Bob sat in it
and he got stuck...
174
00:05:09,782 --> 00:05:11,149
Oh, my God.
175
00:05:11,154 --> 00:05:12,705
That's Teddy's Sticky Spackle!
176
00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:14,246
Teddy's what?
?Sticky Spackle!
177
00:05:14,253 --> 00:05:16,420
I invented it!
It's stronger than superglue.
178
00:05:16,429 --> 00:05:17,680
Well, how do you get it off?
179
00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:19,184
You gotta use nail
polish remover.
180
00:05:19,276 --> 00:05:21,076
All right. I'll get
the nail polish remover,
181
00:05:21,083 --> 00:05:22,751
but you gotta come down
here as fast as you can
182
00:05:22,758 --> 00:05:24,091
and get this door open.
183
00:05:24,097 --> 00:05:25,630
Listen, I-I would,
but I just started
184
00:05:25,688 --> 00:05:27,272
a therapy session.
185
00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:29,614
Dr. Marjorie says
that I spend all my time
186
00:05:29,624 --> 00:05:31,124
fixing things for other
people, so who fixes me?
187
00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:32,381
Aw, screw it!
188
00:05:32,387 --> 00:05:33,670
Bob needs me.
189
00:05:33,675 --> 00:05:35,343
I'm coming as fast
as I can, Linda!
190
00:05:35,350 --> 00:05:37,601
?Uh-oh.
We got customers.
191
00:05:37,611 --> 00:05:39,028
Gene, put an out-of-order
sign on the door.
192
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:40,200
On it.
?Good.
193
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,624
Wait, what should it say?
194
00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,047
Dad stuck on toilet."
195
00:05:43,053 --> 00:05:44,770
No.
196
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:47,145
What about, "Out of order:
toilet cursed with evil!"
197
00:05:47,239 --> 00:05:49,740
Kids, just... stop drawing
attention to the door.
198
00:05:49,751 --> 00:05:51,418
Go help your mother.
199
00:05:51,508 --> 00:05:52,758
Hi, Linda!
200
00:05:52,765 --> 00:05:54,349
I'm ready to make Bob pretty.
201
00:05:54,356 --> 00:05:56,606
I brought my scissors
and my tweezers.
202
00:05:56,665 --> 00:05:58,450
Oh, oh, hi, Gretchen!
203
00:05:58,458 --> 00:05:59,791
Gretchen's here, Bob.
204
00:05:59,797 --> 00:06:00,964
She's gonna get you
camera-ready.
205
00:06:00,970 --> 00:06:02,470
Kids, go wait on
the other customers.
206
00:06:02,561 --> 00:06:04,278
Everything's gonna be okay.
207
00:06:05,792 --> 00:06:08,243
Everything's gonna be okay.
208
00:06:08,253 --> 00:06:11,639
? Bad stuff happens
in the bathroom ?
209
00:06:11,652 --> 00:06:15,905
? I'm just glad that it
happens in a vacuum ?
210
00:06:15,921 --> 00:06:19,707
? Can't let them see me
with my pants down ?
211
00:06:19,722 --> 00:06:23,225
? Coasters magazine is gonna be
my big chance now ?
212
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:27,076
? But I'll be outta
here in no time ?
213
00:06:27,090 --> 00:06:30,809
? I'll be doing interviews
and feelin' just fine ?
214
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:34,327
? Today is gonna be
a great day ?
215
00:06:34,342 --> 00:06:35,676
? I'll do Coasters magazine ?
216
00:06:35,681 --> 00:06:38,933
? And blow everyone away ?
217
00:06:38,946 --> 00:06:41,648
? Let's be clear ?
218
00:06:41,659 --> 00:06:43,710
? I did absolutely
nothing wrong ?
219
00:06:43,719 --> 00:06:46,169
? I'm not to blame,
it's not my fault ?
220
00:06:46,263 --> 00:06:49,149
? This is just to say ?
221
00:06:49,161 --> 00:06:52,079
? If Gene had pooped
like every day ?
222
00:06:52,090 --> 00:06:54,041
? This would have all
just blown away ?
223
00:06:54,049 --> 00:06:57,552
? But he'll be out of there
in no time ?
224
00:06:57,566 --> 00:07:01,619
? No one's gonna blame me,
I'll be doing just fine ?
225
00:07:01,635 --> 00:07:05,254
? Today is gonna be
a great day ?
226
00:07:05,268 --> 00:07:07,236
? If Teddy can't
unstick my dad ?
227
00:07:07,244 --> 00:07:09,027
? I'll find another way. ?
228
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,288
Hey, where's Bob?
I want to tell him
229
00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:13,130
I can smell him
from across the street.
230
00:07:13,188 --> 00:07:14,689
Yeah, Linda, where is Bob?
231
00:07:14,696 --> 00:07:16,446
I gotta do his hair
for the big interview.
232
00:07:16,453 --> 00:07:18,121
Interview?
What interview?
233
00:07:18,129 --> 00:07:20,080
Bob's got a big
magazine interview.
234
00:07:20,088 --> 00:07:21,839
What, are they writing
an article on guys with mustaches
235
00:07:21,846 --> 00:07:23,179
you want to punch?
236
00:07:23,185 --> 00:07:25,270
Zoom!
237
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,612
I say "zoom" now.
You like it. ?lt's okay.
238
00:07:27,622 --> 00:07:30,207
? Bad stuff happens in the bathroom ?
? Let's be clear ?
239
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:32,719
? I did absolutely nothing wrong ?
? I'm just glad ?
240
00:07:32,730 --> 00:07:35,114
? That it happens in a vacuum ?
? I'm not to blame, it's not my fault ?
241
00:07:35,124 --> 00:07:38,410
? This is just to say ?
? Can't let them see me with my pants down ?
242
00:07:38,422 --> 00:07:40,590
? If Gene had pooped like everyday ?
?? Coasters ?magazine is gonna ?
243
00:07:40,599 --> 00:07:42,934
? This would have all just blown away ?
? Be my big chance now ?
244
00:07:42,944 --> 00:07:44,744
? But he'll be outta here ?
? 'Cause I'll be outta here ?
245
00:07:44,752 --> 00:07:46,954
? In no time ? ?? In no time ?
246
00:07:46,963 --> 00:07:48,797
? I'll be doing interviews ?
? No one's gonna blame me ?
247
00:07:48,804 --> 00:07:50,304
? And feelin' just fine ?
? I'll be doing just fine ?
248
00:07:50,311 --> 00:07:51,611
? Today is gonna be ?
? Today is gonna be ?
249
00:07:51,616 --> 00:07:53,701
? A great day ? ?? A great day ?
250
00:07:53,711 --> 00:07:56,162
? I'll do Coasters magazine ?
? If Teddy can't unstick my dad ?
251
00:07:56,171 --> 00:08:00,340
? And blow everyone away. ?
? I'll find another way. ?
252
00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:03,333
Is he breathing?
253
00:08:03,339 --> 00:08:04,505
I rushed right over!
254
00:08:04,544 --> 00:08:06,044
Something's going on with Bob?
255
00:08:06,102 --> 00:08:07,719
No, no, no, it's just...
256
00:08:07,726 --> 00:08:09,360
um... the-the plumbing's
messed up.
257
00:08:09,366 --> 00:08:10,566
And, uh, Teddy's here to fix it.
258
00:08:10,572 --> 00:08:12,123
Um, Teddy, where are your tools?
259
00:08:12,130 --> 00:08:13,747
No time for tools, Linda!
Don't need 'em!
260
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:14,636
Teddy! What are you doing?
261
00:08:14,724 --> 00:08:15,975
Don't worry, Bob.
262
00:08:15,980 --> 00:08:17,230
That was just a warm-up.
263
00:08:17,236 --> 00:08:18,486
I'm taking my shirt off now.
264
00:08:18,492 --> 00:08:19,742
This is the real deal!
265
00:08:19,747 --> 00:08:22,333
- I'm loose. I got this.
- Teddy, no!
266
00:08:24,352 --> 00:08:26,803
Oh, boy. ?Okay. ?Uh-oh.
?Holy what the...
267
00:08:26,898 --> 00:08:28,365
Hi, everyone.
268
00:08:28,371 --> 00:08:29,871
Hi, Marshmallow.
269
00:08:29,962 --> 00:08:31,712
Hey, baby.
?Ha!
270
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,838
Bob's pooping in front
of his customers.
271
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,981
Wrong, Jimmy!
He's not pooping.
272
00:08:35,989 --> 00:08:37,606
He's glued to the toilet.
273
00:08:37,698 --> 00:08:40,283
Bob's glued to the toilet?
274
00:08:40,294 --> 00:08:42,961
Oh... People need to see this!
275
00:08:43,057 --> 00:08:44,891
Jimmy!
Jimmy, where are you going?
276
00:08:44,898 --> 00:08:46,949
Hey, everybody in the world!
277
00:08:46,958 --> 00:08:48,909
Bob Belcher is stuck
to the toilet!
278
00:08:48,917 --> 00:08:50,251
Yeah! Yeah, you!
279
00:08:50,257 --> 00:08:51,308
Hey, over there!
Come here!
280
00:08:51,395 --> 00:08:52,478
Linda?
281
00:08:52,483 --> 00:08:55,403
Bob?
?Kill me.
282
00:08:55,675 --> 00:08:57,408
Come on in, folks!
283
00:08:57,416 --> 00:08:59,759
Come see the sad man
stuck to the can!
284
00:09:01,058 --> 00:09:02,308
It's hilarious.
285
00:09:04,876 --> 00:09:07,794
Gene, thanks for telling
everyone I'm glued to a toilet.
286
00:09:07,805 --> 00:09:09,422
I only told Jimmy Pesto.
287
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,596
Jimmy Pesto told everyone.
288
00:09:10,601 --> 00:09:11,768
I did post it on social media,
289
00:09:11,773 --> 00:09:13,074
but people are cool there.
290
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,696
They won't blab it up.
291
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:17,005
Teddy, please tell me you can
get me off this toilet.
292
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:18,632
Yes, I can.
293
00:09:18,639 --> 00:09:21,191
We just have to apply
and reapply nail polish remover
294
00:09:21,201 --> 00:09:23,152
to your legs and underbutt
295
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,461
and, in a few hours...
voil�! You're free.
296
00:09:25,471 --> 00:09:28,006
A few hours?
That's the best you can do?
297
00:09:28,016 --> 00:09:30,818
Teddy, the guys from Coasters
are gonna be here before then!
298
00:09:30,830 --> 00:09:32,497
- We gotta hurry!
- Hey, Bob,
299
00:09:32,503 --> 00:09:33,920
if this is the dumbest thing
300
00:09:33,926 --> 00:09:35,293
that's ever happened
to you, flush once.
301
00:09:35,299 --> 00:09:37,551
Oh, God, Lin.
302
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:38,976
Please close the restaurant.
303
00:09:39,067 --> 00:09:40,818
Bob, maybe this is good.
304
00:09:40,826 --> 00:09:42,493
When the guys from
Coasters get here,
305
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,251
all they're gonna see
is a crowded restaurant.
306
00:09:44,258 --> 00:09:45,975
"Oh, there's a bunch of
people waiting in the street?
307
00:09:45,983 --> 00:09:47,267
"What are they waiting for?
308
00:09:47,272 --> 00:09:48,655
Must be Bob's Burgers!"
309
00:09:48,745 --> 00:09:50,278
Wait, there's people
in the street?
310
00:09:50,336 --> 00:09:52,170
No. Okay, a few.
311
00:09:52,179 --> 00:09:53,880
All right, a lot.
And a news truck. What?
312
00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:55,303
But we're gonna get
you off that toilet
313
00:09:55,309 --> 00:09:56,859
and ready for that interview.
Right, Teddy?
314
00:09:56,950 --> 00:09:58,484
I'm brushin' like
the wind, Linda.
315
00:09:58,491 --> 00:10:00,325
Gretchen can come in
here and do your hair.
316
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,917
No. ?And I'm gonna go upstairs
317
00:10:01,924 --> 00:10:03,508
and pick out a nice shirt
that shows off that...
318
00:10:03,514 --> 00:10:04,898
that you have shirts.
319
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,188
I don't have shirts.
320
00:10:06,194 --> 00:10:07,828
Kids, guard the sheet door.
321
00:10:07,835 --> 00:10:09,535
You got it, Mom.
No one gets through this sheet!
322
00:10:09,626 --> 00:10:11,427
All right. And Gretchen,
you're in, let's go!
323
00:10:11,435 --> 00:10:12,885
Except Gretchen.
324
00:10:12,891 --> 00:10:15,393
Hi, Bob. Lookin' good.
Oh, my God.
325
00:10:15,403 --> 00:10:16,903
Oh, please.
Like I haven't done
326
00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:18,744
somebody's hair
on a toilet before.
327
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:21,253
We're outside Bob's Burgers,
where a local grill cook
328
00:10:21,263 --> 00:10:23,815
has gone from rush order
to flush order.
329
00:10:23,826 --> 00:10:25,910
He's glued to
his restaurant's toilet.
330
00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:27,952
I'm here with another
local restaurateur.
331
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,796
What's your take on this?
332
00:10:29,804 --> 00:10:31,471
This is the best day of my life.
333
00:10:31,478 --> 00:10:32,812
Oh, uh, I hate Bob.
334
00:10:32,818 --> 00:10:34,151
I should have started with that.
335
00:10:34,157 --> 00:10:35,991
Are we live?
Come to Jimmy Pesto's.
336
00:10:35,999 --> 00:10:37,499
Across the street.
It's delicious...
337
00:10:37,589 --> 00:10:38,890
Same thing happened to me.
338
00:10:38,896 --> 00:10:40,513
I was there for three weeks.
339
00:10:40,519 --> 00:10:41,853
I didn't call for help.
340
00:10:41,860 --> 00:10:43,444
I had self-respect.
341
00:10:43,451 --> 00:10:45,368
I drank toilet water
to stay alive.
342
00:10:45,376 --> 00:10:46,793
You flush, you drink.
343
00:10:46,799 --> 00:10:47,965
Anyone can do it.
344
00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:52,003
Ed ?TEST TEST.
345
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,958
Ey, I ?TEST.
346
00:10:53,966 --> 00:10:55,216
Nothing to see here.
347
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:56,923
Yeah, stand back, Lucy Lius.
348
00:10:56,930 --> 00:10:58,146
Five-foot perimeter.
349
00:10:58,236 --> 00:10:59,937
Hello, Belcher children.
350
00:10:59,944 --> 00:11:01,694
I need to get inside with Charac
351
00:11:01,701 --> 00:11:04,203
so he can do a portrait
of your father on the toilet.
352
00:11:04,213 --> 00:11:06,630
We're going to print them,
and we're going to make a fortune.
353
00:11:06,691 --> 00:11:08,025
Oh, sure.
354
00:11:08,031 --> 00:11:09,281
Come right in.
That sounds great.
355
00:11:09,287 --> 00:11:11,153
Wrong!
Step off, big man.
356
00:11:11,246 --> 00:11:12,963
I assure you,
357
00:11:12,971 --> 00:11:14,505
it will be tasteful.
358
00:11:14,511 --> 00:11:15,811
No?
359
00:11:15,817 --> 00:11:17,184
No, I'm hearing no.
360
00:11:17,190 --> 00:11:19,025
Uh, we're going
to step away for a moment
361
00:11:19,033 --> 00:11:21,000
and have a little conference.
I'll be right back.
362
00:11:21,008 --> 00:11:22,509
Aah! We're running out of time.
363
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:23,766
The magazine people
will be here soon.
364
00:11:23,771 --> 00:11:25,355
Shh!
365
00:11:25,362 --> 00:11:27,029
Don't worry your pretty
little bangs, all right?
366
00:11:27,036 --> 00:11:29,204
I got this handled.
I made a call.
367
00:11:29,213 --> 00:11:30,830
Not because it's my fault.
'Cause it's not.
368
00:11:30,837 --> 00:11:32,138
Who'd you call?
The Po-Po?
369
00:11:32,144 --> 00:11:33,343
That's what I call the Pope.
370
00:11:33,432 --> 00:11:35,100
Blue, yellow. Blue, yellow.
371
00:11:35,108 --> 00:11:36,273
I don't know. I don't know.
372
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,780
Lin, just pick one.
373
00:11:37,786 --> 00:11:39,120
You've been doing this
for 45 minutes.
374
00:11:39,126 --> 00:11:40,459
You're distracting me.
375
00:11:40,465 --> 00:11:41,799
Now I got to start over.
376
00:11:41,805 --> 00:11:43,105
Blue, yellow.
Blue, yellow.
377
00:11:43,111 --> 00:11:45,029
No, the yellow one
goes better with the toilet.
378
00:11:45,036 --> 00:11:46,987
Well, I'm not gonna be
on the toilet, right Teddy?
379
00:11:46,996 --> 00:11:48,295
How we doing?
380
00:11:48,335 --> 00:11:50,336
Uh, doing good, Bob.
Doing real good.
381
00:11:50,344 --> 00:11:51,478
We're not doing good.
382
00:11:51,483 --> 00:11:53,067
Teddy, I can hear you.
383
00:11:53,074 --> 00:11:54,357
No, you can't.
The hair dryer's on.
384
00:11:54,363 --> 00:11:55,530
This is a disaster.
385
00:11:55,535 --> 00:11:57,203
It's not working, Linda.
386
00:11:57,210 --> 00:11:58,759
The hair dryer is off, Teddy.
I can hear every...
387
00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,802
I can't hear you
over the hair dryer, Bobby!
388
00:12:00,810 --> 00:12:02,060
Teddy, it's off.
389
00:12:02,065 --> 00:12:03,732
Turn off the hair dryer!
390
00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:06,242
Oh, I might be getting a little
weird from the fumes, Bob.
391
00:12:06,252 --> 00:12:07,551
Are you getting
a little weird from the fumes?
392
00:12:07,591 --> 00:12:09,092
What's "Yappening?"
393
00:12:09,099 --> 00:12:10,483
Dr. Yap's in the bathroom.
394
00:12:10,489 --> 00:12:12,439
Yap? What are you doing here?
395
00:12:12,446 --> 00:12:13,996
I called him, Dad.
He's a fixer.
396
00:12:14,088 --> 00:12:15,706
He's gonna get you off of there.
397
00:12:15,713 --> 00:12:17,514
Let's see what's going on
down here.
398
00:12:17,522 --> 00:12:18,972
Louise, why would you call him?
399
00:12:18,978 --> 00:12:20,477
He's our dentist.
400
00:12:20,568 --> 00:12:23,486
Which is a type of doctor,
which is what you need.
401
00:12:23,499 --> 00:12:24,800
And a doctor's
a type of dentist.
402
00:12:24,838 --> 00:12:26,388
That is not true.
403
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,564
And dentist comes
from the word "Al dente,"
404
00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:30,073
which means, "The dent."
405
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,415
Bob, I work with
adhesives and solvents.
406
00:12:32,423 --> 00:12:34,591
I'm exactly the guy
you need right now.
407
00:12:34,601 --> 00:12:36,885
There is a very special,
harmless dental solvent
408
00:12:36,894 --> 00:12:38,979
that can quickly
and painlessly break down the glue
409
00:12:38,988 --> 00:12:40,238
under your tushy.
410
00:12:40,243 --> 00:12:41,493
Really? That's great.
411
00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:42,749
One problem.
412
00:12:42,755 --> 00:12:44,589
I do not currently have any,
413
00:12:44,596 --> 00:12:46,898
but what I could do is get
the necessary certifications,
414
00:12:46,908 --> 00:12:48,442
put in an order,
and have some delivered
415
00:12:48,449 --> 00:12:50,083
in the next two or three months.
416
00:12:50,090 --> 00:12:51,790
So, should I just
go ahead and do that?
417
00:12:51,796 --> 00:12:53,464
I'm a notary, if that helps.
418
00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:56,190
That's your plan?
I vouched for you, dentist.
419
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,118
We're dead.
420
00:12:58,127 --> 00:12:59,993
We're done.
You know, there is another option.
421
00:13:00,052 --> 00:13:01,919
There he is.
There's my boy.
422
00:13:02,011 --> 00:13:03,061
What is it?
What do you got, Yap?
423
00:13:03,066 --> 00:13:04,265
In the dental game,
424
00:13:04,355 --> 00:13:06,189
you tie a string around a tooth,
425
00:13:06,197 --> 00:13:07,363
and yank it out.
426
00:13:07,419 --> 00:13:08,868
- Oh, my God.
- Hear him out.
427
00:13:08,926 --> 00:13:10,427
You are the tooth,
428
00:13:10,434 --> 00:13:12,718
we numb your butt with Novocain,
429
00:13:12,727 --> 00:13:14,445
and we yank you off the toilet.
430
00:13:14,453 --> 00:13:16,988
Done. Dental day-um.
431
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:19,248
Perfect.
This was ringing so I answered it.
432
00:13:19,258 --> 00:13:20,425
It's for Bob.
433
00:13:20,431 --> 00:13:21,848
It's probably Hollywood.
434
00:13:21,854 --> 00:13:23,271
Tell them I want Bette Midler
435
00:13:23,277 --> 00:13:24,577
to play me.
436
00:13:24,582 --> 00:13:25,699
Need Bette Midler
437
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:26,921
to play me.
?Hello?
438
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,961
Bob! It's Skip Marooch.
439
00:13:28,969 --> 00:13:30,970
I'm on an all-terrain vehicle!
440
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:33,812
I can go on any terrain
with this vehicle.
441
00:13:33,877 --> 00:13:35,210
Uh, that's great.
442
00:13:35,216 --> 00:13:37,133
Listen, you know
the Coasters guys?
443
00:13:37,174 --> 00:13:38,091
Yeah?
444
00:13:38,096 --> 00:13:39,396
I'm calling because I thought
445
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:40,735
they were sending Brian,
446
00:13:40,741 --> 00:13:43,109
the nice Hidden Gems guy.
Uh-huh.
447
00:13:43,119 --> 00:13:45,420
Which would've been great,
but I just found out
448
00:13:45,430 --> 00:13:47,130
they're sending this guy,
Newton Fremont.
449
00:13:47,222 --> 00:13:49,473
- Okay.
- And...
450
00:13:49,482 --> 00:13:50,866
let's just say
he's a little tougher.
451
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,740
Like, you know,
if he doesn't like you,
452
00:13:52,747 --> 00:13:54,247
you're not getting in
the magazine.
453
00:13:54,254 --> 00:13:56,087
But you'll be fine,
it'll be fine.
454
00:13:56,146 --> 00:13:57,764
Right.
455
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,687
Could we maybe reschedule
with the nice guy
456
00:13:59,696 --> 00:14:00,946
for another day?
457
00:14:00,951 --> 00:14:02,619
That would actually work for me,
458
00:14:02,627 --> 00:14:04,427
'cause today's been,
you know, busy.
459
00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:06,218
No, Bob, they're on their way.
460
00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:07,527
That was the whole thing.
461
00:14:07,532 --> 00:14:09,316
They have to come today.
462
00:14:09,324 --> 00:14:11,075
Look, I didn't mean
to freak you out.
463
00:14:11,082 --> 00:14:13,799
You'll be great with your face
and your funny jokes.
464
00:14:13,846 --> 00:14:15,847
Well, it's just I'm... I-I...
465
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,238
I'm stuck on a toilet.
466
00:14:17,244 --> 00:14:18,611
See? Like that.
467
00:14:18,617 --> 00:14:20,033
So funny. Use that.
468
00:14:20,124 --> 00:14:22,007
No, like I actually
got glued to...
469
00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:23,601
Bob, I got to call you back.
470
00:14:23,607 --> 00:14:25,725
I guess water does not
count as a terrain.
471
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:27,400
I'm sinking.
Bye.
472
00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:30,076
Teddy, be honest with me.
How does it look?
473
00:14:30,087 --> 00:14:32,305
It's just too much butt, Bob.
474
00:14:32,314 --> 00:14:34,765
Okay. Too much hair
all over your butt!
475
00:14:34,826 --> 00:14:36,326
Teddy, stop.
476
00:14:36,332 --> 00:14:38,166
All right,
we're doing Yap's plan.
477
00:14:38,259 --> 00:14:40,010
We order the solvent
that takes three months?
478
00:14:40,017 --> 00:14:41,600
That didn't sound
like a good idea.
479
00:14:41,641 --> 00:14:43,692
No, we tie a rope around me,
480
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:45,366
and you all yank me
off the toilet.
481
00:14:45,459 --> 00:14:47,293
Yes!
482
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:49,835
I knew there was a reason
we brought you into this project.
483
00:14:49,846 --> 00:14:51,166
Ah-Yap-Yap-Yap-Yap-Yap!
484
00:14:51,185 --> 00:14:53,654
All right, let's numb that bum.
485
00:14:53,664 --> 00:14:56,032
Well, the Novocain
should be taking effect
486
00:14:56,042 --> 00:14:57,375
right about now.
487
00:14:57,381 --> 00:14:58,632
You feel that?
Huh?
488
00:14:58,637 --> 00:15:00,136
You feel that?
Gene, stop.
489
00:15:00,227 --> 00:15:01,226
Okay, you ready Bob?
490
00:15:01,232 --> 00:15:02,066
I think so.
491
00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:03,402
Dad, I love you.
492
00:15:03,459 --> 00:15:04,209
Thanks, Tina.
493
00:15:04,213 --> 00:15:05,664
I love you too, Dad.
494
00:15:05,670 --> 00:15:07,420
I love you for real.
Not like these posers.
495
00:15:07,427 --> 00:15:09,428
Bobby, I love you!
You'll always be my husband.
496
00:15:09,437 --> 00:15:10,603
I love you, Bob.
497
00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:12,110
I'm not dying,
498
00:15:12,116 --> 00:15:14,500
I'm just getting
my butt skin ripped off
499
00:15:14,510 --> 00:15:16,544
so I can be in a magazine.
500
00:15:16,637 --> 00:15:17,854
Okay, on the count of three,
501
00:15:17,859 --> 00:15:19,943
we all pull Bob off the toilet.
502
00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:21,703
When we start yanking,
503
00:15:21,710 --> 00:15:23,086
ignore the screams.
504
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,007
- One...
- Oh, my God.
505
00:15:26,064 --> 00:15:27,931
Two, buckle my shoe.
506
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:30,075
Sorry, couldn't resist.
And three!
507
00:15:33,716 --> 00:15:35,884
It's not working!
508
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,644
It's not working!
509
00:15:37,652 --> 00:15:38,785
Stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop!
510
00:15:38,790 --> 00:15:40,574
It's got to work.
511
00:15:40,582 --> 00:15:42,917
The guys from Coasters are gonna
be here any second.
512
00:15:42,926 --> 00:15:45,093
And... we're here.
The guys from Coasters.
513
00:15:45,186 --> 00:15:48,084
Uh, his eyes are up here.
514
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,055
Doesn't anyone knock anymore?
515
00:15:54,063 --> 00:15:55,897
Um, I don't knock on sheets
516
00:15:55,905 --> 00:15:57,638
'cause they're soft,
and they don't make a sound.
517
00:15:57,714 --> 00:16:00,449
I'm Newton Fremont, this is
my photographer Cory Battles.
518
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,127
I'm here to shoot you. Ha.
519
00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:04,136
Nice one, Cory.
?Thanks, Newt.
520
00:16:04,144 --> 00:16:06,144
And you must be undiscovered gem
521
00:16:06,203 --> 00:16:07,453
Bob Belcher.
522
00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:09,076
Uh, yeah, that's me.
523
00:16:09,083 --> 00:16:11,224
I'd get up, but I'm, uh,
stuck to a toilet.
524
00:16:11,310 --> 00:16:12,761
Yeah. So we hear.
525
00:16:12,767 --> 00:16:14,100
That's what the T-shirts
say outside.
526
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,857
They're selling T-shirts?
527
00:16:15,864 --> 00:16:17,755
Do you know if they carry youth large?
Gene.
528
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,174
Uh, I got a question:
529
00:16:19,181 --> 00:16:20,713
why are you stuck to a toilet?
530
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,555
Well, uh, it's a...
kid's prank...
531
00:16:22,563 --> 00:16:23,896
gone very wrong.
532
00:16:23,902 --> 00:16:24,982
It was supposed to be Gene.
533
00:16:25,041 --> 00:16:28,126
Whoa. That's a-mazing.
534
00:16:28,138 --> 00:16:30,339
On the day. Of your interview.
With Coasters.
535
00:16:30,348 --> 00:16:32,315
This couldn't be worse.
536
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:33,826
I... I, uh...
537
00:16:33,832 --> 00:16:35,531
Wait, are you taking pictures?
538
00:16:35,623 --> 00:16:37,840
A.B.C.
Always be clicking.
539
00:16:37,934 --> 00:16:39,517
But you aren't gonna use these
in the article, right?
540
00:16:39,608 --> 00:16:41,809
What? No. Oh, no,
no, no, no, no.
541
00:16:41,818 --> 00:16:43,034
Oh, there's not gonna
be any article.
542
00:16:43,125 --> 00:16:44,207
No!
543
00:16:44,298 --> 00:16:45,581
But look at his hair.
544
00:16:45,586 --> 00:16:46,752
Wait, don't look at the top.
545
00:16:46,841 --> 00:16:48,309
You can still talk to him.
546
00:16:48,316 --> 00:16:49,683
He's just on the toilet.
547
00:16:49,689 --> 00:16:50,939
Yeah!
I do it all the time!
548
00:16:50,945 --> 00:16:52,162
He doesn't expect
privacy anymore.
549
00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:53,333
We broke him.
550
00:16:53,372 --> 00:16:54,706
Here's the deal.
551
00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:55,963
We're doing a favor for Brian,
552
00:16:55,968 --> 00:16:57,218
who's doing a favor for Skip,
553
00:16:57,223 --> 00:16:59,057
so we barely care about this.
554
00:16:59,066 --> 00:17:00,984
Plus, we like to profile people
555
00:17:00,991 --> 00:17:02,792
who are unique and inspiring.
556
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,050
You are unique.
557
00:17:04,055 --> 00:17:05,422
You are not inspiring.
558
00:17:05,428 --> 00:17:07,429
At all.
?Yup.
559
00:17:07,437 --> 00:17:09,405
Also, Coasters magazine
is primarily read
560
00:17:09,414 --> 00:17:10,914
by people who are
sitting on the toilet.
561
00:17:10,921 --> 00:17:12,705
They do not want to
read about another guy
562
00:17:12,712 --> 00:17:14,797
who is also sitting on the toilet.
Got it.
563
00:17:14,805 --> 00:17:16,689
Plus, why haven't you
just taken the seat off?
564
00:17:16,698 --> 00:17:18,455
It doesn't have a seat.
?lt's Swiss.
565
00:17:18,489 --> 00:17:19,489
That makes me sick.
566
00:17:19,494 --> 00:17:21,328
Hey, listen,
567
00:17:21,336 --> 00:17:22,837
this is just a crazy day.
568
00:17:22,843 --> 00:17:25,061
No, no, no, no, no.
It's fine.
569
00:17:25,071 --> 00:17:26,938
Actually, you know what?
This is perfect.
570
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:28,863
Lin, this isn't a crazy day.
571
00:17:28,871 --> 00:17:31,923
This is a perfectly
average day at Bob's Burgers.
572
00:17:31,935 --> 00:17:34,219
This kind of stuff
happens all the time,
573
00:17:34,228 --> 00:17:36,530
and I'm so glad you came by
to take it in!
574
00:17:38,582 --> 00:17:41,584
Sorry we couldn't be
"inspiring" for you!
575
00:17:41,596 --> 00:17:43,397
I guess we just didn't
have it in us.
576
00:17:43,405 --> 00:17:44,655
So... good-bye!
577
00:17:44,661 --> 00:17:45,911
You can leave!
578
00:17:45,916 --> 00:17:47,249
Thanks for stopping in!
579
00:17:47,290 --> 00:17:48,958
Great outburst, Bob.
580
00:17:48,964 --> 00:17:50,437
Really great outburst.
581
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:55,874
Excuse me.
Comin' through here, guys.
582
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,163
Par... excuse me.
Pardon us.
583
00:17:57,168 --> 00:17:58,385
Pardon.
?Heads up, guys.
584
00:17:58,391 --> 00:17:59,675
Pardon.
Whoa, cool shirt, man.
585
00:17:59,681 --> 00:18:02,016
What is that, marker?
Yeah. Permanent.
586
00:18:02,026 --> 00:18:03,525
No! No! Wait! Wait!
Don't leave,
587
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:05,033
I want to say something.
588
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,091
What my dad said
is kind of true.
589
00:18:07,099 --> 00:18:09,300
Yeah, stuff goes wrong
all the time.
590
00:18:09,309 --> 00:18:10,859
But this thing today...
591
00:18:10,866 --> 00:18:13,368
you know... it was my fault.
592
00:18:13,377 --> 00:18:14,877
And if I hadn't done this,
593
00:18:14,884 --> 00:18:17,469
my dad would be walking
around here right now,
594
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,315
inspiring the crap out
of people.
595
00:18:19,322 --> 00:18:21,773
He'd be making burgers...
really good burgers.
596
00:18:21,783 --> 00:18:23,117
Don't tell him I said that.
597
00:18:23,123 --> 00:18:24,673
We try not to compliment him.
598
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,349
So, yeah, sorry, Dad.
599
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,227
This is all my fault.
600
00:18:29,235 --> 00:18:30,402
What?
601
00:18:30,407 --> 00:18:31,991
I said it's all my fault!
602
00:18:31,998 --> 00:18:33,965
Oh. Okay.
603
00:18:33,973 --> 00:18:35,647
Everyone in here should
be ashamed of themselves.
604
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,565
Standing around laughing at him.
605
00:18:37,573 --> 00:18:39,408
You see a guy stuck on a toilet
606
00:18:39,416 --> 00:18:41,700
and a shocking amount
of body hair.
607
00:18:41,709 --> 00:18:44,511
I see a beautiful toilet man.
608
00:18:44,522 --> 00:18:46,188
A toilet Bob.
609
00:18:46,231 --> 00:18:49,566
Toilet Bob! Toilet Bob!
610
00:18:49,579 --> 00:18:51,213
Toilet Bob!
611
00:18:51,220 --> 00:18:52,921
No. No.
Toilet Bob!
612
00:18:52,928 --> 00:18:54,561
- Please don't chant that.
- No, it's in a good way.
613
00:18:54,603 --> 00:18:57,438
Toilet Bob! Toilet Bob!
614
00:18:57,449 --> 00:18:59,868
Come on, everybody!
Toilet Bob! Toilet Bob!
615
00:18:59,878 --> 00:19:01,260
I don't like it.
616
00:19:01,301 --> 00:19:03,018
How about just Bob?
617
00:19:03,025 --> 00:19:04,975
Just coast on outta here,
Coasters.
618
00:19:05,035 --> 00:19:06,625
Toilet Bob!
619
00:19:06,659 --> 00:19:09,327
Toilet Bob! Toilet Bob!
620
00:19:09,422 --> 00:19:11,339
Toilet Bob! Ha, ha!
621
00:19:11,398 --> 00:19:12,680
Toilet Bob!
622
00:19:16,254 --> 00:19:17,286
It worked.
623
00:19:17,376 --> 00:19:19,542
It finally worked!
624
00:19:21,896 --> 00:19:23,229
I'm free! Yeah!
625
00:19:23,286 --> 00:19:24,870
Whoa. Whoa. Pins and needles.
626
00:19:24,877 --> 00:19:26,077
Can't feel my legs.
627
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,748
Oh, going down.
628
00:19:32,412 --> 00:19:33,828
You guys want any of this stuff?
629
00:19:33,919 --> 00:19:34,951
Y-You mean our mail?
630
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:36,291
Just asking, Bob.
631
00:19:36,297 --> 00:19:37,847
Don't snap at me.
?Look!
632
00:19:37,853 --> 00:19:39,353
It's the latest issue
of Coasters!
633
00:19:39,444 --> 00:19:41,395
Linda, we're not in it...
they were very clear
634
00:19:41,404 --> 00:19:42,654
they weren't gonna
write about us,
635
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:44,209
and I'm more
than okay with that.
636
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:46,301
Oh, you're in it.
Oh, my God, we're in it.
637
00:19:46,309 --> 00:19:47,642
What?
?Read it, Dad, read it!
638
00:19:47,682 --> 00:19:50,518
"Bob's Burgers is more
than an undiscovered gem.
639
00:19:50,529 --> 00:19:53,914
"It's truly a one-of-a-kind
mom-and-pop shop.
640
00:19:53,928 --> 00:19:56,380
"Celebrity chef Skip Marooch
swears that Bob's serves
641
00:19:56,390 --> 00:19:58,224
"the best burger
he's ever eaten.
642
00:19:58,232 --> 00:19:59,899
"We wouldn't know.
643
00:19:59,906 --> 00:20:01,372
"We didn't try the food.
644
00:20:01,414 --> 00:20:03,381
"But we did have a rather unique
645
00:20:03,389 --> 00:20:05,924
"and strangely inspiring
experience while we were there.
646
00:20:05,935 --> 00:20:10,105
"This shabby little dive seems
to hold a special spot
647
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:12,755
in this dingy town's heart."
648
00:20:12,766 --> 00:20:15,468
Do you think they mean "dinghy" town?
I don't think there's a...
649
00:20:15,479 --> 00:20:17,696
No, that's not a thing...
dinghy town.
650
00:20:17,790 --> 00:20:19,407
Wow, that was kind of good.
651
00:20:19,413 --> 00:20:21,346
Louise, I-I think
you saved the day.
652
00:20:21,390 --> 00:20:23,007
Yeah, well, you know,
653
00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:24,648
this is the last time
I'm bailing you out, Dad.
654
00:20:24,654 --> 00:20:26,078
Hey, they didn't even
mention the toilet.
655
00:20:26,162 --> 00:20:27,028
Oh, yeah.
656
00:20:27,032 --> 00:20:28,415
Uh, keep reading.
657
00:20:28,505 --> 00:20:31,373
"Also, Bob got stuck
to the toilet." Oh.
658
00:20:31,436 --> 00:20:32,443
Now turn the page.
659
00:20:32,525 --> 00:20:33,558
Oh, there's a picture
660
00:20:33,646 --> 00:20:35,446
of me on the toilet in Coasters.
661
00:20:35,539 --> 00:20:37,407
"We could tell you
how that happened,
662
00:20:37,414 --> 00:20:39,498
"but do yourself a favor,
visit Bob's Burgers
663
00:20:39,507 --> 00:20:41,258
"and ask him yourself.
664
00:20:41,265 --> 00:20:44,650
Hopefully, he'll be back
on his feet by then."
665
00:20:44,748 --> 00:20:47,000
So... that's pretty
good, overall.
666
00:20:47,009 --> 00:20:48,959
Your hair looks good.
667
00:20:48,967 --> 00:20:50,133
Hey! This is the place!
668
00:20:50,224 --> 00:20:52,474
Yeah, this is it. Come on in.
669
00:20:52,568 --> 00:20:54,653
We got business.
Kids, grab some menus.
670
00:20:54,661 --> 00:20:55,994
Aah! ?Aah! ?Aah!
671
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,502
We got gooped!
Gotcha!
672
00:20:58,205 --> 00:21:00,757
? Let's be clear ?
? Bad stuff happens in the bathroom ?
673
00:21:00,758 --> 00:21:03,259
? I did absolutely nothing wrong ?
?? I'm just glad ?
674
00:21:03,260 --> 00:21:05,711
? I'm not to blame, it's not my fault ?
? That it happens in a vacuum ?
675
00:21:05,712 --> 00:21:08,631
? Let's just say ?
? Can't let them see me with my pants down ?
676
00:21:08,632 --> 00:21:11,384
? If Gene had pooped like every day ?
?? Coasters magazine is gonna be ?
677
00:21:11,385 --> 00:21:13,302
? This would have all just blown away ?
? My big chance now ?
678
00:21:13,303 --> 00:21:16,862
? He'll be out of there
in no time ?
679
00:21:16,863 --> 00:21:18,864
? I'll be doing interviews ?
? No one's gonna blame me ?
680
00:21:18,865 --> 00:21:20,416
? And feelin' just fine ?
? I'll be doing just fine ?
681
00:21:20,417 --> 00:21:23,419
? Today is gonna be
a great day ?
682
00:21:23,420 --> 00:21:25,337
? I'll do Coasters magazine ?
? If Teddy can't unstick my dad ?
683
00:21:25,338 --> 00:21:30,849
? And blow everyone away ?
? I'll find another way. ?
684
00:21:30,899 --> 00:21:35,449
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