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1
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:12,010
(CROW CAWING)
2
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Well...
3
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"Make yourself comfortable"?
4
00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:31,090
Is that supposed to be funny?
5
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:38,767
Oh.
6
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,080
Hello.
7
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,006
You all right?
8
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:46,085
Don't mind me, I'm just being nosy.
9
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What do you reckon, hey?
10
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:52,409
I'm working tonight. I'm a chaperone.
11
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:55,766
I don't know good art
from a good fart me. (LAUGHS)
12
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,010
Yeah, isn't it?
13
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,005
I'm Neil. I'm assisting
one of the guests when they arrive.
14
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:02,401
It's not you, is it?
15
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,722
Visually impaired. Yeah.
16
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,207
And that's a good thing in here,
what do you reckon?
17
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:08,931
Have you seen the state of this thing?
18
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,286
What's all that about?
19
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:11,767
U ELLE»)
20
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,050
Spilt me Ritz.
21
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,240
(CROW CAWING)
22
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:40,447
(MUSIC PLAYING)
23
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WOMAN: Excuse me,
24
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is this the private view for
"Fragments" by Elliot Quinn?
25
00:01:58,440 --> 00:01:59,771
I don't know.
26
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,889
If only there was a way of finding out.
27
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:05,651
Oh, my God! (LAUGHS)
28
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,923
It says it right there, doesn't it?
What am I like?
29
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,124
Would you like
a glass of champagne, madam?
30
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:13,411
I'lljust have the one.
31
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,166
Because I've got another opening
to go to after this.
32
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,963
- I'm never usually the first to arrive.
- You're not.
33
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,530
Someone else already went through.
34
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,040
Oh. Is it another celeb?
35
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:23,286
Because I might know them.
36
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:24,931
Another celeb?
37
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:26,525
The implication being...
38
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,170
Yes, it is me.
39
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,250
Carrie from BB8.
40
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,448
Will there be any photographers
coming, do you know?
41
00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:35,880
No idea.
42
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,081
I don't mind.
43
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,527
Although I once got papped
at a Narnia premiere
44
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,364
with a massive sweat patch under my arm.
45
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:45,364
I thought, "OMG, that's going straight
into Heat magazine."
46
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,051
Circle of shame.
47
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,765
They never used it though.
48
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,166
That is a shame.
49
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,120
Good evening.
50
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:14,891
Maurice Wickham.
51
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,211
You don't need to see my stiffie?
52
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,645
I certainly don't.
53
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:22,800
Well, I'll help myself to one of these,
then, shall I?
54
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,564
I've only got two hands.
55
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,170
Two of everything, by the look of it.
56
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,686
Don't bother, Granddad,
I'm out of here in three hours.
57
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,649
Well, at least you're keen.
58
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:32,881
Are you an art lover?
59
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,161
Nope.
60
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,042
- And yet you have...
- Tits?
61
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:39,880
Tattoos.
62
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,527
Body art is still art, after all.
63
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,409
Yeah, and it's not for sale.
64
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,568
So you can keep your
little red dot away from me.
65
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:49,880
Thanks for the drink.
66
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:55,730
(IN DISTINCT TALKING)
67
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,248
You're not. Oh, that is classic.
68
00:03:58,520 --> 00:03:59,885
Oh, good God, that is classic.
69
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,564
You'll never guess what his name is.
70
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:02,920
- Rumpelstiltskin?
- No.
71
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,729
Go on, go on, tell her.
72
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,289
- Kenneth Williams.
-(LAUGHS)
73
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,049
Do you know, he has never seen
74
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,441
-any of the Carry On films?
- Really?
75
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,808
Yeah, I don't watch comedy,
got no interest in it.
76
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,804
And, from a health and safety
perspective, most of it's a joke.
77
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,763
We're not together, you know,
by the way, we just...
78
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,003
We just met in the lift
on the way down, didn't we?
79
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,288
Yeah, there's no signal down here,
is there?
80
00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:28,930
No, because we're in a basement.
81
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,963
No, it's because
the arsehole contractors
82
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,771
can't be bothered putting
a signal booster in the Cat 5 webbing.
83
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,365
Pisses me off!
84
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,882
Well, he's a laugh a minute.
85
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,083
All right, thanks. Cheers.
86
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,851
Is there, like, a set amount of time
87
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,321
you're meant to look at each thing
before you move on?
88
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:01,810
Not necessarily.
89
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,645
It depends on the piece
and what it says to you.
90
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,520
For example, what this piece
is saying to me is...
91
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,808
Gas explosion at Debenhams.
92
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,081
Right.
93
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,050
And, do you know all this
because you teach art in a collage?
94
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,165
No. No, no.
95
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,766
I teach art in a college,
96
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,329
but one of the disciplines
in art is collage.
97
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:33,201
The assemblage of disparate elements
which together create a new whole.
98
00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:36,204
That is like me with my chillies.
99
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,091
(CHUCKLES) I chuck everything in.
100
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,085
I'm known for it.
101
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,687
On BB8, I put bananas in
102
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,889
and on BB BOTSthey were all like,
"What is she like?" (GIGGLES)
103
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,569
I'm sorry, you've lost me. What's BB8?
104
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,160
Big Brother 8?
105
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:52,805
I was one of the contestants.
106
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,128
It was the year when Trevor and Viveca
107
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,329
had the row about the rice cakes
and had sex in the secret bunker.
108
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:01,410
Oh, well, I didn't see it, I'm afraid.
109
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,609
Oh, you should. It's a classic year.
110
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,770
I got down to the last six.
111
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,765
Hello?
112
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,324
Is someone there?
113
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,329
Can I have some assistance, please?
114
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,446
I'm visually impaired.
115
00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:20,046
Yes?
116
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,130
Are you all right? Do you need a hand?
117
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,885
They said someone would be here
to meet me, is that you?
118
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,923
No, there's a man here.
I'll take you to him.
119
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,288
Oh! Are you blind?
120
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:33,042
- What?
- I take your arm, you do not take mine.
121
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,849
Jesus, eight pounds an hour.
Is it worth it?
122
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,082
I'd like a drink first,
if that's not too much trouble?
123
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:38,922
Of course.
124
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:43,251
Hey, Kenneth.
125
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,327
I think I've seen it all now.
Look over there.
126
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:48,601
Unbelievable.
127
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,440
I don't want to be funny,
but what is she going to get out of it?
128
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,250
Perhaps she's going
to feel her way round.
129
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,569
No, galleries do that now, you know,
touch tours.
130
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,928
And don't get me started on ramps.
131
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,447
Well, she'll have no trouble
smelling them,
132
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,450
-they are crap.
-(SNICKERS)
133
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,164
Welcome, everybody.
134
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,330
Welcome to my exhibition.
135
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,004
I'm Elliot Quinn,
136
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,726
and three years ago, I died.
137
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:36,931
Don't be alarmed.
138
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,690
I knew it was gonna happen.
139
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,681
And it made me think about my life
140
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,365
and my work
141
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,489
and how I wanted to be remembered.
142
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,884
So, I set about creating
this installation.
143
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,164
"Fragments" is an immersive work
144
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,524
that seeks to answer
those big important questions,
145
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,011
"Who are we?"
146
00:07:58,120 --> 00:07:59,884
"How did we come to be here?"
147
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:04,401
And, "If all the world's a stage,
then where does the audience sit?"
148
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:09,965
All of you have been handpicked
to attend this evening.
149
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,086
It's a very exclusive private view.
150
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,486
I hope, by the end, you know why.
151
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,406
Enjoy.
152
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,570
Hang on a minute.
So, Elliot Quim is dead?
153
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,370
- Quinn.
- That's what he said.
154
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:28,966
I wanted to meet him.
155
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,806
We've got space for a mural
at that pocket park in Goole Street,
156
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:33,245
I wanted to get a freebie.
157
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,165
Sorry, I work for the council.
Kenneth Williams.
158
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:37,890
Oh, my God! I've heard of you.
159
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,447
- Are you famous?
- Oh... Matron.
160
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,401
Yeah, yeah. I've heard it all before.
161
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:45,369
"Frying tonight. Stop messing about."
162
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:48,728
No, I'm not that Kenneth Williams.
I'm not famous.
163
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:52,202
I'm "Mr Dull Boring Ordinary
Heath-and-Safety" nobody.
164
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:56,086
Oh. But I bet underneath it all,
when people get to know you,
165
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,083
you're a really interesting character.
166
00:08:58,800 --> 00:08:59,926
No.
167
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:01,726
No, I'm not.
168
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,811
I'lljust get a top-up.
169
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,121
Sorry, sir, you're not allowed
to smoke down here.
170
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:12,850
It's battery.
171
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,803
Under UK law, I'm permitted to use it
172
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,086
in any public space
173
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:17,969
that hasn't been fitted
with a vape alarm.
174
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,921
I had one of them,
but it kept on going off in Argos.
175
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:24,164
Excuse me, I seem to have
been parked here.
176
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:28,564
I was promised a drink at some point,
I presume they meant the same evening.
177
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:29,767
Yeah, won't be a sec.
178
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,321
Here, you can have mine.
I'm not really enjoying it.
179
00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:34,528
It just creases me up, champagne.
180
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,489
- It really burns.
- Thank you.
181
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,769
MAURICE: Why have we all been
handpicked, do you think?
182
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,570
We... None of us know each other,
183
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:42,801
it appears we have
very little in common...
184
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,451
Well, I've never heard of this
Elliot Quinn till I got the invite.
185
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:46,721
I don't know anything about art.
186
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,610
Well, my neighbour
does have a Citroen Picasso.
187
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,370
The name rings a bell.
188
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,047
- Has he ever brought out a book?
- My neighbour?
189
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:55,287
Elliot Quinn.
190
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,886
I'm in publishing,
perhaps that's the connection.
191
00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,530
Judging by the first few pieces
192
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,171
perhaps it's some form of
endurance test.
193
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:04,365
See you at the other end.
194
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,642
Why don't you and I chum up.
195
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,003
You see, I had a great aunt
and she was blind,
196
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,605
so I know what I'm doing.
197
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:17,569
I'm not blind.
198
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,564
I'm visually impaired.
199
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,051
Oh, she's gone.
200
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,569
Right, well,
I'm just gonna have a look around.
201
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,165
See if I can spot any fire hazards.
202
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,287
Sounds like fun.
203
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,045
There's nothing funny
about being trapped in a fire, miss.
204
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,531
I know there isn't.
205
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,964
- Right, well, I'm just gonna go and...
- Carry on.
206
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,246
Yeah.
207
00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:43,049
(CROW CAWING)
208
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:53,005
(CAWING CONTINUES)
209
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:11,011
(FLY BUZZING)
210
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,281
-creePy!
_(5ASPS)
211
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,691
Oh, my God!
212
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,485
Made me jump.
213
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:23,285
Bit derivative of Ron Mueck,
214
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,601
but, I like the idea of a blood mirror.
215
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,687
Little like Wilson's Oil at the Saatchi.
216
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,450
It's horrible.
217
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,325
What's it called?
218
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,444
He's got a thing round his neck.
219
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,804
No, I wouldn't touch the exhibit
if I were you.
220
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,121
(SCREAMS)
221
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,087
- Good God!
- He's been stabbed!
222
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,527
All right, this could be part
of the installation.
223
00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,611
Come on, old chap!
224
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:01,207
Get up!
225
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,248
You've gotta reset
for the next lot coming in.
226
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:04,925
Stop kicking him, he's dead!
227
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,202
He's a big, fat dead man!
228
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,725
Jesus Christ!
229
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,087
What's going on here?
230
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,970
He was just sitting there.
231
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,485
I thought he was a dummy.
232
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:15,446
I can't be here.
233
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,130
I cannot be here!
234
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,364
I'm meant to be at Edwina Currie's
perfume launch at nine o'clock.
235
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,011
I think they'll want to interview you.
236
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:23,684
X know, for Grazia.
237
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,649
I meant the police.
238
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,161
I haven't done anything.
239
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,890
Here's a good one now, Pat.
240
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,803
Look there,
because they're all gathered round.
241
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,723
- It's Patricia!
- Right.
242
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,411
And why do I smell blood? (SNIFFS)
243
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,130
There's been an incident, miss.
244
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,890
Does anyone know
where I can find some cones?
245
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,928
I need to ring-fence off
this entire area.
246
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,161
Why? What's happened?
247
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,802
Well, we're not sure,
but it does look like foul play.
248
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,609
Someone's been stabbed in the back.
249
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,564
Nothing new in the art world, of course.
250
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,130
Who's been stabbed?
251
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:54,966
Neil Francis. He's a male nurse?
252
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:59,007
Oh... We have a dinner lady at school
who's a man.
253
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,605
KENNETH: Right, well,
there's no signal down here.
254
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:01,920
Not even for a triple nine.
255
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,126
I'm gonna have to go upstairs.
256
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,884
Miss, do you wanna come with me?
257
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:06,890
I'll wait here.
258
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:08,241
See no one touches anything.
259
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,651
KENNETH: Good call.
260
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:15,682
You see, that's the trouble
with these Anderson's,
261
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,687
if they get called by multiple users
the pull system freezes.
262
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,042
All Rig ht. Whatever.
263
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,006
KENNETH: Could someone come
and give me a hand, please?
264
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,088
I'm gonna have to force this door!
265
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,571
WOMAN: Yeah, I'm coming.
266
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,041
I'm going to let go
of your arm now, Patricia,
267
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:33,407
but you'll be all right
because you'll be with, erm...
268
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,090
- What's your name again, love?
- Carrie.
269
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,527
Carrie, like in the film.
270
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,284
Yes, I'm not deaf!
271
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,480
She is impartially sighted,
272
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,404
but she doesn't have a blue badge.
273
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,046
I won't be a sec.
274
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:47,966
Carrie.
275
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:51,922
Didn't your boob pop out in the jacuzzi?
276
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:53,321
Sorry?
277
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:54,970
Big Brother 8.
278
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:57,321
Yes.
279
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:00,881
That's it, that's...
280
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:02,487
That's it.
281
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:04,244
It was just after my op.
282
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:08,685
I had 20-20 vision for a year
before it failed again.
283
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:10,844
Well, it's just so lucky
284
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,082
that my boob managed to fall into that
285
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,326
little chink.
286
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,526
Yes.
287
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:18,964
See if you can get
your fingers in the crack.
288
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:20,367
(LAUGHS)
289
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,562
Kenneth, that's a proper Carry On line!
290
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,485
This is serious!
I'm trying to get us out of here, okay?
291
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,767
I'm sorry, you know,
I think I must be in shock.
292
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,810
- It makes me go a bit daft.
- Here, use my phone.
293
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,331
See if you can get it in for me.
294
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,885
Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in...
Oh, sorry!
295
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:37,647
(CORK POPS)
296
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:42,129
So, how many books
have you actually written?
297
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,967
I've done one a year
for the past 15 years.
298
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,247
God, so that's like 12 books.
299
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,848
Something like that. Yes.
300
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,131
The first few were pretty soft-core,
301
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:54,929
swooning FIUFSES,
302
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:57,486
"The hardness in his breeches",
that sort of thing.
303
00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:01,281
But after that, Fifty Shades
nonsense, I had to up my game.
304
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,569
The scenarios became
more and more outrageous.
305
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:08,611
People having sex
in the most extraordinary places.
306
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,131
Like up the burn?
307
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,768
I was thinking more of locations,
308
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:16,083
but, yes, I have lowered myself
once or twice.
309
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,242
Yeah, that is the best way to do it.
310
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,211
Doesn't hurt as much.
311
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:21,641
That's it! (GRUNTS)
312
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,284
Yeah, I can feel it coming.
313
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:26,485
And pull.
314
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,201
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
315
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:34,961
Jesus.
316
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:38,281
(SCREAMS)
317
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:42,961
What's happened?
318
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,521
Oh, my God. Not another one.
319
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,080
What is it? What's happening?
320
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,522
It's just this lovely young waitress,
she'sjust dead in the lift.
321
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,443
This is too much of a coincidence.
322
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,489
Who was the last person to see her?
323
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:55,800
KENNETH: I was.
324
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,167
But I left her tidying up.
325
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,286
Come on, come on. Why isn't it working?
326
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,007
I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!
327
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,969
There's got to be
a fire escape somewhere.
328
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,168
- Let me think.
- How did she die?
329
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,720
Well, I'm not Murder, She Wrote,
330
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,280
but I would say she's been strangulated,
wouldn't you?
331
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,401
Right, I've got it.
332
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,482
There should be a fire door
that leads out onto Duke Street.
333
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:18,721
I'll come with you, love,
334
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,290
because I want to see
the other rooms anyway.
335
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,362
You know, I haven't been
around it all yet.
336
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,609
Keep an eye on her.
337
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:27,086
I will.
338
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,841
It's handy you knowing your way
around these buildings, isn't it?
339
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:35,686
I can barely find my way around Asda.
340
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,046
Yeah, well, it's my job.
341
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,210
I'm a dinner lady. St Michael's.
342
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,610
"Chips or mash?" That's me.
I love the kids, though.
343
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,042
I don't want kids. Too many hazards.
344
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,487
I know, that is the worry.
I could barely keep mine in one piece.
345
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,090
No, I meant the kids are the hazards.
346
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,964
Look at
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
347
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,127
Oh.
348
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,247
There you are.
349
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,125
- Police on their way?
- No, we couldn't get out.
350
00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,561
The lift was blocked.
351
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:01,763
Oh, for goodness sake!
Well, couldn't that waitress girl
352
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:02,841
call the manager or something?
353
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,001
She's dead.
354
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,166
This is all a bit Agatha Christie,
isn't it?
355
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,050
None of us know each other,
356
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,851
we've all been invited by somebody
we've never met
357
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,646
and now it seems
we're being picked off one by one.
358
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,648
Don't, it's just like Big Brother
all over again.
359
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,248
I hope I don't get booed when I leave.
360
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:23,686
If you leave.
361
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,480
At least this time I've made it
to the final five.
362
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:32,044
I once tried to write a murder mystery,
but it's much harder than it seems.
363
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,923
It's so easy to get oneself
knee-deep in clichés.
364
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,608
The trouble with the genre nowadays,
365
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,931
too much murder, not enough mystery.
366
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,810
Chained from the outside.
367
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,127
Illegal. I shall be reporting this!
368
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,531
But, how are we gonna get out now?
369
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,603
Sure, like fish in a basket.
370
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:06,326
- Ba rrel.
- Sorry.
371
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,604
I was thinking of scampi.
372
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:09,881
(CHUCKLES)
373
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,241
Is anyone else hungry?
374
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:12,970
We've got other things on our plate,
at the moment.
375
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,202
Well, I don't have a plate
and that's what I'm saying.
376
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:16,486
I thought there'd be nibbles.
377
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:20,770
But look, we are in an art installation
surrounded by wire and metal
378
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:24,640
and there has to be a pair of pliers
or bolt cutters around here somewhere!
379
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,929
You know, I was in Homebase
only this morning.
380
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:29,841
Yes?
381
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,849
No. I was in for a paint match.
382
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:35,242
I just can't make up my mind
between Elephant's Breath
383
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:36,731
and Clown's Pocket.
384
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:38,721
"Clown's Pocket"?
385
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,565
Right, can I just suggest we split up?
It'll be quicker that way.
386
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,688
Fine, well, let's meet back here
in 15 minutes.
387
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:48,162
No, no, no. It was Deep Cavern.
388
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,971
And then, of course, they all split up,
389
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:54,886
which is something you would never do
in that situation.
390
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,440
And before you know it,
there's another one gone.
391
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,170
Are you still there, darling?
392
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,489
Not bored you to death, have I?
393
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:08,201
Carrie?
394
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,361
Hello?
395
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,046
Carrie?
396
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,331
Carrie?
397
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:20,361
Oh.
398
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:26,081
God!
399
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:27,486
Help!
400
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,402
Someone, please!
401
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,682
We need help!
402
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,803
(CLIN KING)
403
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,050
Is someone there?
404
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:40,681
(GASPS)
405
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:05,366
(WATER TRICKLING)
406
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:09,724
I'm sorry, that stinks.
407
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:26,921
(DOOR CREAKING)
408
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:34,561
(FOOTSTEPS)
409
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,206
(WATER TRICKLING)
410
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:14,565
AUTOMATED VOICE ON PHONE:
Let me check that.
411
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,405
Here's what I found on the web for,
412
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,244
"How to use a stiletto as a weapon."
413
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:23,486
Is that you, Pat?
414
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:33,803
Jesus Christ, not another one.
415
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,722
It's worse than
a public information film.
416
00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:58,961
(SCREAMS)
417
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,161
What is it?
418
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,288
- What's happened?
- It's in there.
419
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:14,886
It's horrible.
420
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:17,729
Well, flush it away.
421
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,806
It's Pat.
422
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:21,446
She's dead.
423
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:45,166
Good God.
424
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,124
What's happened to her eyes?
425
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:49,161
What's going on?
426
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,004
You don't want to know.
427
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:53,246
It's Pat.
428
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:55,161
(seas)
429
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,006
Let's get out of here.
430
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:58,844
I found these, look.
431
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,770
(SOFFLY) Whatever happens,
stay close to me.
432
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,882
Right, this should do it.
433
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:12,604
I found these, by the way.
434
00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:14,326
They've got your name on.
435
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,450
Oh, thank you.
It's my... My heart medication.
436
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:18,601
Heart medication?
437
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,366
Tacrolimus, it's an anti-rejection drug.
438
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,044
I've had a heart transplant.
439
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:24,486
When was this?
440
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,126
Three years ago now.
441
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,403
I'm doing fine, touch wood.
442
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,803
I had a lung transplant
three years ago.
443
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,211
Saved my life.
444
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,369
And Patricia had her eyes done.
445
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,210
Two new cornettos.
446
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,647
That waitress, she had
some kind of skin graft.
447
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:42,851
Yes, well, let's get out of here first,
and we can ponder that later.
448
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:44,645
I've nearly got it!
449
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,006
Oh, my God!
450
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,571
He's got a heart condition.
451
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:50,801
Those pills.
452
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,405
I found them in Carrie's hand.
453
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,409
She's dead as well.
454
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,009
Oh, my goodness,
455
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,450
we're all dropping like flies.
456
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,921
That must be the link,
we've all had some kind of transplant,
457
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,241
but why would he want to kill us?
458
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,440
What have we done wrong?
459
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:09,806
Well,
460
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,409
you shouldn't be smoking, Kenneth,
461
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,649
-for a start.
-(GASPS)
462
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:21,287
(SHOUTS)
463
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,162
ELLIOT: And it made me think
about my life
464
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:36,407
and my work and how I wanted
to be remembered.
465
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,764
So, I said about creating
this installation.
466
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,571
"Fragments" is an immersive work
467
00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:47,170
that seems to answer
those big important questions.
468
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:48,685
"Who are we?"
469
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:50,689
"How did we come to be here?"
470
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:55,081
Anal "If all the world's a stage,
then where does the audience sit- "
471
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,131
All of you have been handpicked
472
00:24:58,280 --> 00:24:59,645
to attend this evening.
473
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:02,601
It's a very exclusive private view.
474
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,041
I hope, by the end, you know why.
475
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,688
- Enjoy.
- (CHUCKLES SOFYLY)
476
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:11,601
(KISSES)
477
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:23,001
That was my son.
478
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,651
He died three years ago
of a brain tumour.
479
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,801
Nothing else wrong with him
apart from that.
480
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,841
So, he decided to donate himself.
481
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,090
Every organ.
482
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,126
And he told me to keep tabs
483
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:45,811
on all the people he helped
484
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,565
and to gather them together.
485
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,084
You were to be the art,
486
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,802
a living exhibition.
487
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:58,524
A celebration of him
488
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,689
and how his life
489
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:05,084
gave others a wonderful opportunity.
490
00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:11,168
But it didn't work out like that,
did it?
491
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:14,811
I don't know what you mean.
492
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,848
You squandered him!
493
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,207
He was wasted on all of you!
494
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,408
Like this fat pig,
495
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,090
Neil Francis.
496
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:32,924
New kidneys, and still he gave himself
diabetes by eating too much.
497
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,724
That waitress,
498
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:39,322
she burnt her skin off in a fire
she started herself
499
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,331
in some pathetic attempt
at attention seeking.
500
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:43,607
She had a piece of my son
501
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,763
and still she sullied his flesh
with self-pitying tattoos.
502
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,729
I don't understand?
503
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:53,411
And then there's
that talentless nonentity,
504
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:55,369
just drinking like a fish
505
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,522
in some television reality show,
506
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,804
despite having my son's liver.
507
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:04,684
And then, there's Patricia.
508
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,283
Spending her days squinting
at her pornographic writings
509
00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:11,091
through the corneas of my son's eyes.
510
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,281
And there's Kenneth Williams.
511
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:15,811
Still smoking,
512
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:17,723
despite having the gift
513
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:21,407
of Elliot's right lung inside him.
514
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,010
It was an e-cigarette.
515
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:26,521
Still.
516
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,366
And then, there's you, Maurice.
517
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,722
You were lucky enough
to get my son's heart.
518
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,529
Yes. Yes, and I've looked after it.
519
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,605
I exercise, I watch what I eat...
520
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,002
It still hasn't stopped you becoming
a heartless critic though, has it?
521
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:48,450
That's a bit of a stretch.
522
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,484
I'm a lecturer, not a critic!
523
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:52,881
Doesn't matter.
524
00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:55,690
You're undeserving.
525
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:58,131
Just like the others.
526
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,928
Yeah, you've looked after
Elliot's heart well enough.
527
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,170
But I'd like it back now, please.
528
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,848
It's time to complete
529
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:20,446
Elliot's masterpiece.
530
00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:25,121
(GRUNTS)
531
00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:35,920
REPORTER: Well, it's been described by
some as, "ghoulish" and "in poor taste",
532
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,604
but the installation behind me,
533
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:41,282
last night,
scooped the £40,000 Turner Prize
534
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:43,931
and has broken all box office records
535
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,048
here at the Nine Gallery in East London.
536
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,691
Well, the artist behind
this extraordinary sculpture
537
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,410
who has seemingly come from nowhere
538
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,211
to take the art world by storm
joins me now.
539
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,086
- Maurice Wickham, congratulations.
- Thank you.
540
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:57,765
Now talk us through this exhibition,
541
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,241
because you've obviously put
your heart into it?
542
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,322
Well, not quite...
38821
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