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1
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,702
? Hang the ball
and the ball goes over there ?
2
00:00:23,715 --> 00:00:25,282
? And this goes over there
3
00:00:25,290 --> 00:00:26,557
? And da-da-da-da-da...
4
00:00:26,563 --> 00:00:28,531
Oh, everybody,
look at the tree.
5
00:00:28,541 --> 00:00:29,974
Aw, I love this tree.
6
00:00:29,981 --> 00:00:31,248
It's the day after
Halloween, Lin.
7
00:00:31,255 --> 00:00:32,489
Don't you think
we might have
8
00:00:32,495 --> 00:00:34,162
gotten the tree
a little early?
9
00:00:34,170 --> 00:00:36,004
Oh, put some mistletoe
on my butt and kiss it, Bobby.
10
00:00:36,013 --> 00:00:37,681
Okay.
Yeah, Dad.
11
00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:40,123
Stop ruining Halloween
by not celebrating Christmas.
12
00:00:41,844 --> 00:00:43,512
Aw... bye, tree.
13
00:00:43,521 --> 00:00:44,787
You had a good life.
14
00:00:44,793 --> 00:00:46,027
That's how I want to go out,
15
00:00:46,034 --> 00:00:47,668
dehydrated and covered
in tinsel.
16
00:00:47,676 --> 00:00:49,410
Sounds like
a gay pride parade.
17
00:00:49,418 --> 00:00:50,685
Mm-hmm.
18
00:00:50,692 --> 00:00:52,393
Everybody, look at the tree.
19
00:00:52,401 --> 00:00:53,834
Aw, I love our new tree.
20
00:00:53,842 --> 00:00:55,109
Look.
21
00:00:55,115 --> 00:00:56,549
It's the day after
Thanksgiving, Lin.
22
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,724
I'm not looking
at it till tomorrow.
23
00:00:58,735 --> 00:01:00,703
It seems like just yesterday
it was Thanksgiving.
24
00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:01,945
Oh, my God.
25
00:01:03,661 --> 00:01:05,228
It's Christmas Eve
and our tree is dead.
26
00:01:05,236 --> 00:01:06,937
What are we gonna do, Bobby?
27
00:01:06,945 --> 00:01:08,912
I don't know, but we have to
get this out of the house;
28
00:01:08,922 --> 00:01:10,490
It caught on fire twice.
29
00:01:10,498 --> 00:01:12,032
I guess we're just not
going to have a tree
30
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:13,039
on Christmas this year.
31
00:01:13,045 --> 00:01:14,445
What?!
32
00:01:14,452 --> 00:01:15,819
Not-not-not-not-not
have a tree on...
33
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,527
on Christmas?!
34
00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:20,036
Where are the presents
gonna go if there's no tree?
35
00:01:20,048 --> 00:01:21,549
We want
a divorce!
36
00:01:21,557 --> 00:01:23,324
Thank you, bye.
37
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,267
Everyone just
calm down, okay?
38
00:01:25,276 --> 00:01:26,744
There is a tree lot
about an hour away.
39
00:01:26,751 --> 00:01:28,017
And the guy said
we could have
40
00:01:28,024 --> 00:01:29,191
the pick of the runts!
Right?
41
00:01:29,231 --> 00:01:30,865
Lin, you want to
drive an hour away
42
00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:32,140
and get
another tree?
43
00:01:32,147 --> 00:01:33,614
What-what about our
Christmas Eve dinner?
44
00:01:33,621 --> 00:01:34,954
I have a ham
in the oven.
45
00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:36,662
You have to fart? No, Tina.
46
00:01:36,671 --> 00:01:38,438
A real ham is
currently in our oven.
47
00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:39,814
Just bring it.
48
00:01:39,821 --> 00:01:41,688
Everyone loves rare ham. No, Gene.
49
00:01:41,697 --> 00:01:43,264
Bob, put the oven on low.
50
00:01:43,272 --> 00:01:44,506
We'll be back before you can say
51
00:01:44,513 --> 00:01:46,147
Dancer, Prancer,
Vixen, and Nixon.
52
00:01:46,155 --> 00:01:47,822
Well, we'd better
be back fast.
53
00:01:47,830 --> 00:01:49,965
Tonight's the night we
finally catch Santa Claus.
54
00:01:49,975 --> 00:01:51,308
We've been planning
this for months.
55
00:01:51,315 --> 00:01:52,582
You're gonna
catch Santa?
56
00:01:52,589 --> 00:01:54,023
Yup.
We built a Santa trap.
57
00:01:54,063 --> 00:01:55,697
All right, but if you catch him,
58
00:01:55,705 --> 00:01:56,906
he's your responsibility.
59
00:01:56,946 --> 00:01:59,114
I'm not cleaning up
after Santa.
60
00:01:59,124 --> 00:02:00,224
Hey, this is David Dazzle,
61
00:02:00,230 --> 00:02:01,697
I'll be your pilot for tonight.
62
00:02:01,704 --> 00:02:03,238
I'm playing all your
Christmas's favorites
63
00:02:03,246 --> 00:02:04,546
and some songs no one likes.
64
00:02:04,553 --> 00:02:06,888
Family road trip!
65
00:02:06,899 --> 00:02:09,100
We're going to get
a Christmas tree, all right!
66
00:02:09,110 --> 00:02:10,344
Again.
Oh, Bobby.
67
00:02:10,351 --> 00:02:11,818
Stop being such
a lump of coal.
68
00:02:11,825 --> 00:02:13,625
This is what the
holidays are all about.
69
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,901
We're together,
70
00:02:14,942 --> 00:02:16,542
there's Christmas
music on the radio.
71
00:02:16,550 --> 00:02:17,951
Oh, give me
the phone!
72
00:02:17,958 --> 00:02:19,625
I want to request
"Jingle in the Jungle."
73
00:02:19,633 --> 00:02:21,034
"Jingle in the Jungle"?
74
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:22,908
That sounds like
a terrible Christmas song.
75
00:02:22,917 --> 00:02:24,351
Maybe you're not ready.
76
00:02:24,359 --> 00:02:26,493
"Jingle in the Jungle"
pushes the limits.
77
00:02:26,503 --> 00:02:27,770
Step on it, Dad!
78
00:02:27,776 --> 00:02:29,410
We have a date
with a fat old man.
79
00:02:29,419 --> 00:02:31,120
We're chubby chasers.
Tina, that's...
80
00:02:31,128 --> 00:02:32,862
Don't say that, that's
not ni-nice to say.
81
00:02:32,871 --> 00:02:34,638
Fat fetishists?
Kids, tickle your father.
82
00:02:34,646 --> 00:02:36,614
He's being a big bah hum-booger!
Get him. No, don't...
83
00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:38,458
Get him! Get him!
Don't tickle me now, I'm driving.
84
00:02:38,467 --> 00:02:40,468
No, kids... ? I'm gonna
tickle your mustache ?
85
00:02:40,478 --> 00:02:42,312
All right, kids, cut it out! ?
I'm gonna tickle your mustache. ?
86
00:02:42,321 --> 00:02:44,356
I-I got armpits! Armpits!
Hey, hey, hey, I'm driving!
87
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:46,599
You don't tickle the driver! Oh!
You're not driving very well.
88
00:02:46,610 --> 00:02:48,511
Whose hand is that?
I can't see.
89
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,454
I just want to use the
windshield wipers for a second.
90
00:02:50,464 --> 00:02:52,544
- Lin, get the kids off me!- It's Christmas!
91
00:02:53,045 --> 00:02:54,845
Are these even Christmas trees?
92
00:02:54,888 --> 00:02:56,188
Aw. They're
all so skinny
93
00:02:56,195 --> 00:02:57,562
and sick-looking.
94
00:02:57,569 --> 00:02:58,836
Can you turn that
one around, please?
95
00:02:58,842 --> 00:03:00,543
Mom wants to see
its tree butt.
96
00:03:00,552 --> 00:03:02,019
Everybody's got
their thing.
97
00:03:02,026 --> 00:03:03,760
I'm more of
a branch man. Mmm.
98
00:03:03,802 --> 00:03:05,236
Okay, well,
you guys decide
99
00:03:05,243 --> 00:03:06,477
on which scrawny
tree to buy.
100
00:03:06,483 --> 00:03:07,883
We're going
to go over there
101
00:03:07,891 --> 00:03:10,226
and practice our Santa
containment strategies.
102
00:03:10,237 --> 00:03:11,437
I assume he
knows jujitsu...
103
00:03:11,476 --> 00:03:13,144
Uh, can I come?
104
00:03:13,152 --> 00:03:14,619
Your mom's gonna be at least
another half hour here.
105
00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:16,261
Uh, you're not part
of the plan, Dad.
106
00:03:16,269 --> 00:03:18,136
Well, I could help.
I'm bigger than you.
107
00:03:18,179 --> 00:03:19,446
Yeah, but you're weak.
108
00:03:19,453 --> 00:03:20,720
Santa would drop you.
109
00:03:20,726 --> 00:03:22,026
And that would kill me.
110
00:03:22,066 --> 00:03:24,000
I could take Santa. Okay, Dad.
111
00:03:24,010 --> 00:03:25,244
Hey, Tina,
thanks for
112
00:03:25,250 --> 00:03:27,184
helping Louise
beat up Santa.
113
00:03:27,193 --> 00:03:28,494
She really believes...
114
00:03:28,501 --> 00:03:30,001
she can catch him.
Yeah.
115
00:03:30,009 --> 00:03:31,243
It's so nice that
she still believes...
116
00:03:31,249 --> 00:03:32,516
in this mission.
117
00:03:32,522 --> 00:03:33,755
It's weird, right?
118
00:03:33,762 --> 00:03:35,530
Isn't nine a little
old to, uh...
119
00:03:35,539 --> 00:03:36,906
believe that?
120
00:03:36,913 --> 00:03:38,313
To what...
Believe what?
121
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:39,954
That...
What... um...
122
00:03:39,962 --> 00:03:41,396
In the mission? Okay.
Forget it.
123
00:03:41,403 --> 00:03:42,636
Never mind.
Good talking to you.
124
00:03:42,642 --> 00:03:44,076
Good talking
to you, Dad.
125
00:03:44,084 --> 00:03:46,986
Finally, a truck
you're allowed to lick.
126
00:03:46,999 --> 00:03:49,167
Gene!
127
00:03:49,211 --> 00:03:50,612
Focus!
128
00:03:50,619 --> 00:03:52,152
Okay, let's go
through this again.
129
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:53,694
We'll pretend
the Porta Potti is the tree
130
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,736
and Santa's on his way
to deliver presents.
131
00:03:55,746 --> 00:03:57,013
Gene, you be Santa.
132
00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:58,253
Phase one.
133
00:03:58,259 --> 00:03:59,564
Santa passes
right by the kitchen
134
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:00,900
where he sees cookies!
135
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,408
These rocks are the cookies.
136
00:04:02,448 --> 00:04:04,349
Num num num num num.
137
00:04:04,359 --> 00:04:05,893
Phase two.
Santa finds a note
138
00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:07,300
that says "Milk in the fridge."
139
00:04:07,307 --> 00:04:08,574
I'm thirsty!
140
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:09,581
Phase three!
141
00:04:09,586 --> 00:04:10,886
When he opens
the fridge
142
00:04:10,893 --> 00:04:12,594
and grabs the glass
of milk... Bam!
143
00:04:12,602 --> 00:04:14,970
His wrist is stuck
in a zip tie! Aah!
144
00:04:15,016 --> 00:04:16,750
That's when
I jump out
145
00:04:16,759 --> 00:04:18,292
and wrap myself
around his ankles.
146
00:04:19,707 --> 00:04:20,974
Then Tina jumps on his back
147
00:04:20,981 --> 00:04:22,615
and makes Kringle crumble.
Aah!
148
00:04:22,623 --> 00:04:23,856
I'll gouge out his eyes
149
00:04:23,862 --> 00:04:25,096
and pull on his beard!
Aah!
150
00:04:25,136 --> 00:04:26,370
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
151
00:04:26,376 --> 00:04:27,643
We want him
alive, T.
152
00:04:27,650 --> 00:04:29,184
Sorry, I got carried away.
153
00:04:29,191 --> 00:04:30,591
I'm glad we practiced.
154
00:04:30,599 --> 00:04:31,833
Kids, help me out.
155
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,039
I can't see. Am I good?
156
00:04:33,078 --> 00:04:34,245
Yeah, you're good.
157
00:04:34,285 --> 00:04:35,686
You're very good.
158
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:38,836
I thought you said
I was good!
159
00:04:38,877 --> 00:04:40,077
How could you
guys not see
160
00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:41,283
that giant
candy cane truck?
161
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:42,756
We see it.
We just don't make
162
00:04:42,763 --> 00:04:45,498
a big deal out of it.
163
00:04:45,511 --> 00:04:47,078
Great, I'm not
getting traction.
164
00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:48,821
I thought we were
gonna get snow tires.
165
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,932
That was gonna be my Christmas
present to you. Aw...
166
00:04:51,946 --> 00:04:54,047
Because I wasn't expecting
to be out in the snow,
167
00:04:54,057 --> 00:04:56,058
buying a Christmas tree
the night before Christmas.
168
00:04:57,676 --> 00:04:59,177
Hey! Jackass!
169
00:05:00,995 --> 00:05:02,662
We're having a Christmas
moment here, all right?
170
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:03,870
Lin, just stop.
171
00:05:03,910 --> 00:05:05,343
Bob, let me
handle this.
172
00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:06,684
? Jing-le bells
173
00:05:06,691 --> 00:05:08,025
? Jing-le bells
174
00:05:08,065 --> 00:05:09,933
? Jin-gle all the way
175
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,110
Lin. What?
I'm doing "Jingle Bells."
176
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,621
He's just
hearing honking.
177
00:05:13,628 --> 00:05:15,095
Now, stop. Come on, kids.
Sing along!
178
00:05:15,103 --> 00:05:16,971
? Jing-le bells
179
00:05:19,996 --> 00:05:22,097
? Jing-le all the way
? Jingle all the bells
180
00:05:22,107 --> 00:05:23,340
- Jingle, jingle, jingle.
- Ooh, there we go.
181
00:05:23,347 --> 00:05:25,949
Everybody stop jingling.
182
00:05:25,961 --> 00:05:27,962
How long does the normal
person stay on hold?
183
00:05:27,972 --> 00:05:29,672
Four hours?
Oh, great.
184
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,015
This guy again. I guess
he's not in a hurry anymore.
185
00:05:32,026 --> 00:05:33,393
Maybe the speed
limit is seven.
186
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,667
You know, I'm
gonna pass him.
187
00:05:37,724 --> 00:05:38,991
You can't be serious.
188
00:05:38,998 --> 00:05:40,065
Is he speeding up?
189
00:05:40,070 --> 00:05:41,570
What's this guy's problem?
190
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:43,917
So...
191
00:05:43,924 --> 00:05:46,058
you guys excited
to decorate the tree?
192
00:05:46,068 --> 00:05:47,068
I don't know if
we should put
193
00:05:47,074 --> 00:05:48,308
any ornaments
on it, Mom.
194
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:50,248
It looked pretty fragile. What?
195
00:05:50,257 --> 00:05:51,858
Yeah,
somebody give that tree a sandwich!
196
00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:52,933
And a bowl
of soup.
197
00:05:55,284 --> 00:05:56,283
Oh, my God.
198
00:05:57,764 --> 00:05:58,898
Aw, be nice to the tree.
199
00:05:58,937 --> 00:06:00,337
It is December, Mom.
200
00:06:00,378 --> 00:06:02,179
Shouldn't you be decorating
201
00:06:02,221 --> 00:06:03,354
for the Fourth of July?
202
00:06:05,204 --> 00:06:07,004
Stop speeding up!
203
00:06:08,488 --> 00:06:09,522
Let me in!
204
00:06:09,527 --> 00:06:10,627
Bob, who you
talking to?
205
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,853
Oh, my God!
That was close!
206
00:06:15,861 --> 00:06:17,095
You almost drove
us right into
207
00:06:17,101 --> 00:06:18,434
that snow
plow, Bobby!
208
00:06:18,441 --> 00:06:19,708
Good thing you don't have
209
00:06:19,714 --> 00:06:20,948
any children in the backseat.
210
00:06:20,955 --> 00:06:22,389
It wasn't
my fault!
211
00:06:22,396 --> 00:06:23,796
That trucker is driving
like a lunatic.
212
00:06:23,803 --> 00:06:26,071
More like you are. No. It was him.
213
00:06:26,082 --> 00:06:27,449
I just want to get
away from him.
214
00:06:30,304 --> 00:06:32,706
Now he's right
on my ass.
215
00:06:32,718 --> 00:06:34,452
This guy's trying
to kill us!
216
00:06:35,968 --> 00:06:37,602
I'm gonna pull off the road
right there.
217
00:06:40,022 --> 00:06:41,256
Yes!
218
00:06:48,565 --> 00:06:50,065
Oh, my God, I'm gonna puke!
219
00:06:51,313 --> 00:06:53,047
Huh...
is everybody okay?
220
00:06:53,055 --> 00:06:54,288
I'm fine.
I'm great!
221
00:06:54,294 --> 00:06:55,661
I didn't
pee my pants.
222
00:06:55,668 --> 00:06:57,302
Good, Gene.
Why wasn't I scared?
223
00:06:57,311 --> 00:06:58,578
Wait, that was
terrifying.
224
00:06:58,584 --> 00:06:59,818
Now I have to pee!
225
00:06:59,824 --> 00:07:01,725
Okay, uh....
just go pee outside. No!
226
00:07:01,768 --> 00:07:03,836
It will freeze up and
go up inside my body!
227
00:07:03,879 --> 00:07:05,146
What the hell was that, Bobby?
228
00:07:05,153 --> 00:07:06,274
You trying to get us killed?
229
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:07,526
Me?
That trucker just
230
00:07:07,532 --> 00:07:09,199
ran us off the road, Lin!
231
00:07:09,207 --> 00:07:11,042
The pee is winning.
Gene, just hold it.
232
00:07:11,084 --> 00:07:12,918
Okay, so every time
somebody tailgates you,
233
00:07:12,927 --> 00:07:14,228
you drive off the road?
234
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,835
That wasn't tailgating,
235
00:07:15,843 --> 00:07:17,310
that was intimidation!
236
00:07:17,352 --> 00:07:19,786
By an adorable
candy cane truck.
237
00:07:19,797 --> 00:07:21,865
Urination begins
in three, two...
238
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,275
Gene, Gene.
239
00:07:23,282 --> 00:07:25,283
We'll take you to pee
in that diner.
240
00:07:25,293 --> 00:07:26,894
Hurry up. We need to
get back on the road.
241
00:07:26,902 --> 00:07:28,469
It might take a minute.
242
00:07:28,477 --> 00:07:30,478
My bladder asked if my colon
could come out and play,
243
00:07:30,488 --> 00:07:31,955
and my colon was like,
"Sure thing."
244
00:07:31,996 --> 00:07:33,530
Oh, Bobby!
245
00:07:33,538 --> 00:07:34,938
They make Dutch
Babies here!
246
00:07:34,945 --> 00:07:36,179
Let's order one!
247
00:07:36,185 --> 00:07:37,452
What's a Dutch Baby?
248
00:07:37,459 --> 00:07:38,692
About $2,000 less
249
00:07:38,698 --> 00:07:40,232
than an American baby?
250
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:41,574
No, it's their
world-famous
251
00:07:41,581 --> 00:07:42,848
high-rise pancake.
252
00:07:42,854 --> 00:07:44,755
It says it takes
25 minutes to make
253
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,098
We don't
have time.
254
00:07:46,104 --> 00:07:47,538
I have a ham in
the oven, remember?
255
00:07:47,546 --> 00:07:49,046
Just fart, Dad.
It's okay.
256
00:07:49,053 --> 00:07:50,053
Tina, stop.
257
00:07:50,059 --> 00:07:51,093
You almost
ran our family
258
00:07:51,098 --> 00:07:52,532
off the road,
remember?
259
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:54,039
We're getting a
Dutch Baby for dessert.
260
00:07:54,047 --> 00:07:55,548
We'll get it to go.
Dutch Baby, please.
261
00:07:55,555 --> 00:07:56,955
But the ham
will dry out.
262
00:07:56,963 --> 00:07:59,097
You could call Teddy.
He's got a spare key.
263
00:07:59,107 --> 00:08:00,341
I bet you he'd
turn off the oven.
264
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,014
Sure thing, Bobby.
265
00:08:02,022 --> 00:08:04,023
I was gonna watch church on TV
but I can just DVR it.
266
00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:05,534
Well, we just need you
to turn off the oven.
267
00:08:05,542 --> 00:08:07,176
That's all, Teddy.
Ooh. Uh...
268
00:08:07,184 --> 00:08:08,784
I'm not really
much of a cook.
269
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,159
I don't spend a lot
of time in the kitchen.
270
00:08:10,166 --> 00:08:12,067
As you probably know.
271
00:08:12,076 --> 00:08:13,710
It's not hard, Teddy. You just
turn the knob... Whoa, whoa.
272
00:08:13,718 --> 00:08:15,586
Slow down, Bob.
Let me get a pen.
273
00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,162
You don't need a pen, Teddy.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
274
00:08:17,170 --> 00:08:18,570
You just need to turn
the knob to "off."
275
00:08:18,577 --> 00:08:20,011
Turn the knob to...?
Go.
276
00:08:20,019 --> 00:08:21,253
Off.
Off.
277
00:08:21,259 --> 00:08:22,526
Okay.
278
00:08:22,533 --> 00:08:24,033
O-F...
279
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:25,274
Oh, my God.
This thing's not working.
280
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:26,714
Why is it
you always...
281
00:08:26,722 --> 00:08:27,955
you never have one
that works when you...
282
00:08:27,961 --> 00:08:29,428
Hold on. Just go to our house
283
00:08:29,435 --> 00:08:30,736
and turn off the oven! Okay.
284
00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:31,943
Bob, did you get
my Christmas card?
285
00:08:31,983 --> 00:08:34,018
Teddy, I gotta go.
286
00:08:34,027 --> 00:08:35,527
Bobby, did you get the Christmas card?
Not yet. Can't wait.
287
00:08:35,535 --> 00:08:36,935
Not everyone got 'em. Bye!
288
00:08:36,942 --> 00:08:38,543
Oh, they got
a pecan pie.
289
00:08:38,551 --> 00:08:39,851
Should we get a pie
while we wait?
290
00:08:39,858 --> 00:08:41,492
Do I look different?
I feel different.
291
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:42,734
Whoo... ha...
292
00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:44,174
Phone.
Gimme the phone.
293
00:08:44,182 --> 00:08:45,582
Why? I want to get back on hold.
294
00:08:45,589 --> 00:08:46,856
It's the only place
295
00:08:46,862 --> 00:08:48,396
I know who I am anymore. Hmm.
296
00:08:48,437 --> 00:08:50,205
Uh, excuse me,
Officer.
297
00:08:50,214 --> 00:08:51,447
Hi.
Over here.
298
00:08:51,453 --> 00:08:52,954
Uh, yes.
299
00:08:52,962 --> 00:08:54,696
Um... I would like
to report a crime.
300
00:08:54,704 --> 00:08:56,138
I was just run
off the road
301
00:08:56,145 --> 00:08:59,480
by a truck shaped like
a giant candy cane.
302
00:08:59,496 --> 00:09:01,164
Do you want to maybe
write that down
303
00:09:01,172 --> 00:09:03,606
or call it in?
304
00:09:03,618 --> 00:09:04,818
Hello?
305
00:09:04,858 --> 00:09:07,826
Are you injured
in any way?
306
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,208
Um... no.
307
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,782
Was there any damage
to your vehicle?
308
00:09:10,790 --> 00:09:12,023
No.
309
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,296
So, what, was
he mean to you?
310
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:14,503
A truck driver
was mean to you?
311
00:09:14,543 --> 00:09:16,877
Oh, snap!
Louise, stop.
312
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,490
Why do they call
you "the fuzz"?
313
00:09:18,497 --> 00:09:20,565
Is it because of your head? Gene.
314
00:09:20,576 --> 00:09:22,076
Sorry, don't listen
to them, Officer.
315
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,951
But maybe
listen to me?
316
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,762
Because it doesn't seem
like you're doing that.
317
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:28,876
Sir, I am trying
to enjoy my Dutch Baby.
318
00:09:28,887 --> 00:09:30,487
Looks good.
319
00:09:30,495 --> 00:09:31,996
Listen, there's a very
dangerous man out there
320
00:09:32,003 --> 00:09:33,770
driving around in
a huge candy cane.
321
00:09:33,813 --> 00:09:36,314
I'm gonna need you to slide
back down into your booth.
322
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,661
Officer, you just
gotta listen to me!
323
00:09:38,672 --> 00:09:39,939
Sorry about that.
324
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,179
Did you just hit
that waitress?
325
00:09:41,185 --> 00:09:42,552
No.
Yes, you did.
326
00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:44,160
I mean, yes, I did,
but it was a mistake.
327
00:09:44,201 --> 00:09:46,035
Why would you hit
someone on Christmas?
328
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,745
It's 'cause this guy
wasn't listening to me.
329
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,221
Well, maybe if you slap
more waitresses,
330
00:09:49,228 --> 00:09:50,662
I'll get right on it.
Fine.
331
00:09:50,669 --> 00:09:51,903
Linda, kids.
We're leaving.
332
00:09:51,910 --> 00:09:53,510
No more Dutch Babies!
No!
333
00:09:53,518 --> 00:09:55,453
I think that's a good idea.
Let's go.
334
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,029
My Baby hasn't been
delivered yet.
335
00:09:57,037 --> 00:09:58,370
Lin, come on!
336
00:09:58,377 --> 00:10:00,378
Oh, look, it came out
in 22 minutes!
337
00:10:00,387 --> 00:10:02,956
Oh, it's a preemie
just like Jesus.
338
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:04,603
Hello?
339
00:10:04,644 --> 00:10:06,144
Anybody home?
340
00:10:06,151 --> 00:10:08,119
I know there's not,
but I have manners.
341
00:10:08,162 --> 00:10:10,330
Mmm. That ham smells good.
342
00:10:10,341 --> 00:10:11,608
Wish my place smelled
this hammy.
343
00:10:11,614 --> 00:10:12,814
Bob's really got it all.
344
00:10:12,854 --> 00:10:14,521
Oh, it's just a dial.
345
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:15,997
Why did Bob make it
so complicated?
346
00:10:16,004 --> 00:10:17,238
Hey, there's my Christmas card.
347
00:10:17,245 --> 00:10:18,812
Bob didn't open it.
348
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,380
What's he waiting for,
actual Christmas?
349
00:10:21,534 --> 00:10:23,335
Hello, cookies.
I'll accept a tip.
350
00:10:23,377 --> 00:10:24,911
Tree or a reindeer?
351
00:10:24,919 --> 00:10:26,219
Ah, they probably
taste the same.
352
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,460
Or maybe they don't.
353
00:10:27,466 --> 00:10:28,933
Maybe I find out.
Who knows?
354
00:10:30,314 --> 00:10:31,914
I need some milk. Mmm.
355
00:10:31,956 --> 00:10:34,724
"The milk is in the fridge."
Okay.
356
00:10:34,737 --> 00:10:36,872
"To reach milk,
357
00:10:36,916 --> 00:10:39,785
place your hand through
Christmas wrist wreath."
358
00:10:39,798 --> 00:10:41,665
That sounds fun.
359
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:42,942
Oh! Oh!
360
00:10:44,691 --> 00:10:45,825
What's going on?!
361
00:10:45,831 --> 00:10:47,665
Aah! Oh!
362
00:10:47,674 --> 00:10:48,674
Oh, man!
363
00:10:51,863 --> 00:10:53,363
Ooh, pickles.
364
00:10:53,370 --> 00:10:54,771
Ah, hope you're happy, Bobby.
365
00:10:54,778 --> 00:10:56,178
You almost got
this family arrested.
366
00:10:56,219 --> 00:10:57,253
You know, the only reason
367
00:10:57,258 --> 00:10:58,258
we're even driving around
368
00:10:58,264 --> 00:10:59,631
on Christmas Eve, Lin,
369
00:10:59,638 --> 00:11:01,038
is because you
bought a tree
370
00:11:01,045 --> 00:11:03,046
on November 1!
371
00:11:03,055 --> 00:11:05,623
Your negative attitude is
what probably killed our tree.
372
00:11:05,636 --> 00:11:07,938
Both of you, shush!
We got to get home!
373
00:11:07,949 --> 00:11:10,283
Santa's not gonna
kidnap himself.
374
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,828
It's the one thing
he can't do.
375
00:11:14,952 --> 00:11:16,786
Oh, my God. Is that him?
376
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,574
It's the candy cane truck!
377
00:11:20,583 --> 00:11:21,583
Oh, here we go.
378
00:11:21,588 --> 00:11:23,055
Bob and his truck,
everybody.
379
00:11:24,537 --> 00:11:25,937
Why is he in the
middle of the road?
380
00:11:29,094 --> 00:11:30,594
Why is he coming so fast?
381
00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:31,601
Bobby!
382
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,575
Bobby!
383
00:11:33,618 --> 00:11:34,719
Oh, my God!
384
00:11:36,349 --> 00:11:38,417
Bob, that candy cane truck is
trying to kill us!
385
00:11:38,427 --> 00:11:39,961
That's what I've been saying!
386
00:11:40,002 --> 00:11:41,970
We don't listen to you!
387
00:11:41,979 --> 00:11:43,279
Oh, my Dutch Baby!
388
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,154
Get it out from under
the pedals, Lin!
389
00:11:45,196 --> 00:11:47,164
You're mushing it, Bobby!
You're killing her!
390
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,707
So you believe me now?
391
00:11:48,715 --> 00:11:50,583
Oh, I'm so sorry
I doubted you, Bobby.
392
00:11:50,592 --> 00:11:52,092
I thought it was like
that time you said
393
00:11:52,099 --> 00:11:53,567
you flushed
but I know you didn't.
394
00:11:53,575 --> 00:11:55,409
I flushed.
I saw what I saw!
395
00:11:55,451 --> 00:11:57,252
I still see it
when I close my eyes.
396
00:11:57,294 --> 00:11:58,728
Look, we don't have
time for this.
397
00:11:58,735 --> 00:12:00,936
We have to call the police.
Gene, give your mom the phone!
398
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:02,915
I can't. I'm on hold
with the radio station!
399
00:12:02,957 --> 00:12:04,858
You've been on hold
with them this whole time?
400
00:12:04,902 --> 00:12:06,836
"Jingle in the Jungle" is
an American classic.
401
00:12:06,845 --> 00:12:08,279
You'll thank me
when you hear it.
402
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:09,520
Give her the phone!
403
00:12:09,526 --> 00:12:11,360
The battery's dead!
404
00:12:11,369 --> 00:12:12,536
Damn it, Gene!
405
00:12:12,542 --> 00:12:13,609
All batteries die,
406
00:12:13,615 --> 00:12:15,716
but this one truly lived.
407
00:12:15,726 --> 00:12:17,360
Hang on, everybody!
Whoa!
408
00:12:18,910 --> 00:12:20,978
What are you doing?!
I thought the car would
409
00:12:21,021 --> 00:12:23,456
spin all the way around
like in the movies!
410
00:12:23,501 --> 00:12:25,135
Oh, we can't shake this guy!
I'm gonna go down
411
00:12:25,176 --> 00:12:26,377
that little road.
412
00:12:30,974 --> 00:12:32,241
Bobby, do something.
He's coming back!
413
00:12:32,248 --> 00:12:33,982
This guy's crazy!
414
00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:35,057
I'll pull the car in there
415
00:12:35,063 --> 00:12:36,530
and shut off the lights.
416
00:12:36,570 --> 00:12:37,931
Maybe he won't see us
in the trees.
417
00:12:45,451 --> 00:12:48,520
Everybody stay still
and be very quiet.
418
00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:50,368
Can I just say one thing?
419
00:12:50,377 --> 00:12:51,844
No, Gene.
420
00:12:51,852 --> 00:12:53,987
I think I have
the best legs in the family.
421
00:12:53,997 --> 00:12:56,064
And the smoothest bottom.
422
00:12:56,074 --> 00:12:57,475
Okay, no more talking.
423
00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:59,249
Mom? Dad?
Oh, my God.
424
00:12:59,258 --> 00:13:00,692
I just wanted to let you know.
425
00:13:00,732 --> 00:13:02,099
I was the one
who didn't flush.
426
00:13:02,106 --> 00:13:03,140
It's okay, sweetheart.
427
00:13:03,146 --> 00:13:04,379
That was impressive though.
428
00:13:04,385 --> 00:13:05,552
It looked just
like your father's.
429
00:13:05,558 --> 00:13:06,825
That's what I was going for.
430
00:13:06,832 --> 00:13:08,833
Can everybody just
please stop talking?
431
00:13:08,843 --> 00:13:09,843
Now I know
432
00:13:09,848 --> 00:13:10,882
what the Von Trapps felt like.
433
00:13:10,921 --> 00:13:11,988
Dad?
What?
434
00:13:12,026 --> 00:13:13,793
Where do babies come from?
435
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:16,037
You all come from my vagina.
436
00:13:16,048 --> 00:13:17,148
I knew it.
437
00:13:17,154 --> 00:13:18,488
You owe me ten dollars, Tina.
438
00:13:18,494 --> 00:13:19,794
Everybody stop.
439
00:13:21,845 --> 00:13:23,813
He's right there.
He's right there.
440
00:13:23,856 --> 00:13:26,491
- Can he see us?
- I don't know.
441
00:13:31,765 --> 00:13:32,764
I think he's leaving.
442
00:13:39,104 --> 00:13:40,972
He's gone. Yay!
All right. Yes!
443
00:13:41,014 --> 00:13:42,815
Nobody is saying it
so I'll just say it.
444
00:13:42,824 --> 00:13:44,691
I saved all of our lives.
445
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:45,767
Merry Christmas.
446
00:13:45,773 --> 00:13:47,007
Come on, let's go home!
447
00:13:47,013 --> 00:13:48,313
We're gonna...
time to do the tree.
448
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:49,454
Oh, no.
449
00:13:49,493 --> 00:13:51,160
No! No! No!
What?
450
00:13:51,168 --> 00:13:52,228
What happened?
What happened?
451
00:13:52,241 --> 00:13:53,842
No, no, no, no, no!
452
00:13:53,850 --> 00:13:55,517
We're stuck.
453
00:13:55,525 --> 00:13:57,493
Nobody's saying it
so I'll just say it.
454
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,036
Dad ruined Christmas.
455
00:14:01,222 --> 00:14:02,589
It's like a disco.
456
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,612
It's working!
457
00:14:07,623 --> 00:14:09,524
Oh, God!
458
00:14:09,567 --> 00:14:12,735
Aah!
Come on, come on, we can do it.
459
00:14:12,784 --> 00:14:13,784
We couldn't do it.
460
00:14:13,789 --> 00:14:14,855
I told you we should drive
461
00:14:14,861 --> 00:14:16,529
a motorcycle
with four side cars.
462
00:14:16,537 --> 00:14:18,271
Then we would never be
in this mess!
463
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,313
What are we gonna do, Bobby?
464
00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:20,552
We got to get out of here.
465
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,460
I nominate Tina
to walk for help.
466
00:14:22,469 --> 00:14:24,303
Just to be nominated
is an honor.
467
00:14:24,345 --> 00:14:25,846
Don't worry.
We'll figure something out.
468
00:14:25,854 --> 00:14:28,022
We're not missing Christmas.
I promise.
469
00:14:28,065 --> 00:14:30,233
Hey look at that,
it's just past midnight.
470
00:14:30,277 --> 00:14:31,678
Merry Christmas, everyone.
471
00:14:31,685 --> 00:14:34,119
Merry Christmas, Radio DJ.
472
00:14:34,131 --> 00:14:35,732
Hey, no one's called in
for this one tonight,
473
00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:37,207
but I'm playing it anyway.
474
00:14:37,214 --> 00:14:38,715
Here's "Jingle in the Jungle."
475
00:14:38,723 --> 00:14:41,157
Yay! Christmas miracle!
476
00:14:41,168 --> 00:14:43,236
I wasn't expecting
so much bongo.
477
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,448
I like it.
478
00:14:45,492 --> 00:14:47,593
You know what?
Who needs a nice cozy,
479
00:14:47,603 --> 00:14:49,270
warm, comfortable home?
480
00:14:49,312 --> 00:14:51,313
We can have our own Christmas
right here in the car.
481
00:14:51,322 --> 00:14:53,390
Yeah, until it runs out of gas
and we freeze to death.
482
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:54,867
Yeah.
483
00:14:54,875 --> 00:14:55,975
It's like we're
a family of cops,
484
00:14:55,981 --> 00:14:57,315
staking out that bush.
485
00:15:00,773 --> 00:15:03,007
That's a dumb place
to keep bowls.
486
00:15:03,052 --> 00:15:05,620
And all was right with
the world, and... Ah!
487
00:15:05,633 --> 00:15:08,702
Look what the wise men bought
from the auto parts store.
488
00:15:08,749 --> 00:15:10,483
Let's all sing "Silent Night."
489
00:15:12,838 --> 00:15:15,773
? Silent
490
00:15:15,787 --> 00:15:18,556
? Night
491
00:15:18,602 --> 00:15:20,670
? Holy...
492
00:15:20,713 --> 00:15:22,414
Crap! Truck!
493
00:15:22,456 --> 00:15:24,023
Bobby, we got
to get out of here!
494
00:15:25,404 --> 00:15:26,571
It's still not working!
495
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,044
Okay, everybody just stay calm.
496
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:30,087
We're safe here in the car.
497
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:31,864
I have a plan... let's
all get out of the car
498
00:15:31,872 --> 00:15:33,172
and run in different
directions.
499
00:15:33,179 --> 00:15:34,580
He'll only catch
the slowest one.
500
00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,221
Gene, you're the slowest one!
501
00:15:36,229 --> 00:15:38,263
Aah! I'm the slowest one!
502
00:15:38,306 --> 00:15:39,305
Kids, no, get back here!
503
00:15:41,658 --> 00:15:43,959
Maybe it's a different
candy cane truck?
504
00:15:45,524 --> 00:15:46,957
Oh, my God.
This is it. We're trapped.
505
00:15:46,964 --> 00:15:48,999
Kids, get in the car now.
Lock the doors.
506
00:15:50,919 --> 00:15:52,386
Oh, thank God.
Dad's on it.
507
00:15:52,394 --> 00:15:54,128
The handler's got it
covered, guys!
508
00:15:54,136 --> 00:15:55,169
Relax!
509
00:15:55,175 --> 00:15:56,776
Bob, be careful.
510
00:15:56,784 --> 00:15:58,284
Tell him you had asthma
when you were a boy.
511
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,525
And you have bad
night vision.
512
00:16:00,503 --> 00:16:01,971
Listen, uh, sir.
513
00:16:01,978 --> 00:16:03,545
Whatever it is you want,
514
00:16:03,553 --> 00:16:05,053
we're just trying
to get home for Christmas.
515
00:16:05,061 --> 00:16:06,395
Can we just talk this out?
516
00:16:10,051 --> 00:16:11,554
Oh, you look like that.
517
00:16:11,562 --> 00:16:13,030
Um, okay.
518
00:16:13,037 --> 00:16:15,738
Uh, you seem like a
small, reasonable guy.
519
00:16:15,751 --> 00:16:17,852
If this is about earlier,
I'm sorry I cut you off.
520
00:16:17,862 --> 00:16:20,631
I don't want to point fingers,
but it was my kids' fault.
521
00:16:20,644 --> 00:16:22,812
Yeah, Dad. Great.
For Christmas I really wanted
522
00:16:22,823 --> 00:16:24,290
you to throw us under the bus.
523
00:16:24,297 --> 00:16:26,832
Let's do this!
Me and you.
524
00:16:26,844 --> 00:16:28,578
It's go time! Aah!
525
00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:31,489
Just take my coat off.
526
00:16:33,970 --> 00:16:35,949
N-No.
I'll fight him, punk!
527
00:16:35,959 --> 00:16:37,660
Come on, punk!
Lin, stay in the car.
528
00:16:37,668 --> 00:16:38,701
Listen, this is crazy.
529
00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:39,974
I mean, why are you so angry?
530
00:16:39,980 --> 00:16:40,980
Just because I cut you off?
531
00:16:40,986 --> 00:16:43,321
You also kept honking at me.
532
00:16:43,332 --> 00:16:44,332
Repeatedly.
533
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,737
It was "Jingle Bells."
534
00:16:45,744 --> 00:16:47,045
You don't know "Jingle Bells"?
535
00:16:47,052 --> 00:16:49,253
Put 'em up, snowflake.
536
00:16:49,263 --> 00:16:50,864
Oh, we're gonna dance.
537
00:16:50,872 --> 00:16:52,072
Are you shivering?
538
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:53,546
You should put
your jacket back on.
539
00:16:53,553 --> 00:16:55,754
Oh, I-I... I'm fine.
540
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,099
Look, how about this?
541
00:16:57,105 --> 00:16:58,238
My car is stuck in the snow.
542
00:16:58,244 --> 00:16:59,578
If you can...
543
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:01,853
You're really shivering.
544
00:17:01,864 --> 00:17:03,331
If you could
just help us pull it out
545
00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:04,773
'cause you have a big truck...
546
00:17:04,780 --> 00:17:06,280
I'm about to bang your ass
547
00:17:06,287 --> 00:17:08,355
and you're asking me for help?
548
00:17:08,365 --> 00:17:09,565
"Bang my ass"?
549
00:17:09,572 --> 00:17:11,006
Yeah, bang your ass!
550
00:17:11,013 --> 00:17:13,581
Okay, I mean, you mean... Okay.
551
00:17:13,593 --> 00:17:15,527
I-I've never heard it
said that way.
552
00:17:15,537 --> 00:17:17,572
What? Bang?
You mean, beat me up.
553
00:17:17,581 --> 00:17:18,848
You know, I think I meant kick.
554
00:17:18,855 --> 00:17:20,455
I'm pretty...
I think I meant kick.
555
00:17:20,463 --> 00:17:22,231
It was like halfway out
of my mouth and I went,
556
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,041
"Ooh, that could be
taken the wrong way."
557
00:17:24,049 --> 00:17:25,382
Come on! Let's go!
Let's go! Well, it...
558
00:17:25,389 --> 00:17:26,823
All right, I-I... Look.
559
00:17:26,831 --> 00:17:28,098
I'll tell you what,
560
00:17:28,104 --> 00:17:29,338
if you pull our car
out of the snow,
561
00:17:29,344 --> 00:17:30,344
I-I'll-I'll let you
562
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:31,350
punch me in the stomach.
563
00:17:31,355 --> 00:17:32,655
Bobby! Psst.
564
00:17:32,662 --> 00:17:34,029
You're gonna let
this guy hit you?
565
00:17:34,036 --> 00:17:35,837
He's just a sad,
little guy, Lin.
566
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,279
I-I don't think
it's gonna hurt.
567
00:17:37,286 --> 00:17:38,987
I'll just act
like it does.
568
00:17:38,995 --> 00:17:40,896
Do your girl scream.
What girl scream?
569
00:17:40,906 --> 00:17:42,707
I think she means
your regular scream.
570
00:17:42,716 --> 00:17:44,183
And then do your girl walk.
571
00:17:44,190 --> 00:17:45,757
Girl walk?
I don't have a girl walk.
572
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:46,899
Yeah, you do this like...
573
00:17:48,881 --> 00:17:51,183
I don't do that.
Mmm, agree to disagree.
574
00:17:51,194 --> 00:17:53,595
Look, I think this guy's having
a worse Christmas than us.
575
00:17:53,607 --> 00:17:55,708
He seems like
he really needs this.
576
00:17:55,718 --> 00:17:58,420
Aw, that's the holiday
spirit, Bobby.
577
00:17:59,773 --> 00:18:01,741
So cold.
578
00:18:01,750 --> 00:18:04,085
And crisp.
579
00:18:04,096 --> 00:18:06,430
I guess I'm near the crisper.
580
00:18:06,442 --> 00:18:07,976
I'm not gonna last
much longer...
581
00:18:07,983 --> 00:18:09,851
Maybe I can get
to the knives on the counter.
582
00:18:09,860 --> 00:18:11,394
I could cut my way out.
583
00:18:11,402 --> 00:18:13,336
Teddy, you got to try.
584
00:18:14,988 --> 00:18:17,856
Just pretend you're moving
a fridge for Bob.
585
00:18:17,869 --> 00:18:20,438
So, Bobby,
you got a new fridge, huh?
586
00:18:20,450 --> 00:18:22,017
What else is new with you?
587
00:18:22,025 --> 00:18:23,258
Uh-oh.
588
00:18:23,265 --> 00:18:25,233
No, no, no, no, no, no...
589
00:18:25,242 --> 00:18:28,277
Now I'm gonna die looking
at Gene's finger painting.
590
00:18:28,291 --> 00:18:30,092
What is that even
supposed to be?
591
00:18:30,101 --> 00:18:32,102
So, do we have a deal?
592
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:33,813
I want to punch
your stupid face!
593
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,121
No, just the stomach.
594
00:18:35,128 --> 00:18:37,129
How about I kick you
in the neck?
595
00:18:37,139 --> 00:18:38,540
Look, you get one punch
to the stomach,
596
00:18:38,547 --> 00:18:39,780
and then you get us out of here.
597
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,554
Fine, but I need
to borrow your jacket.
598
00:18:41,563 --> 00:18:43,630
Look, let's just
get this over with.
599
00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:53,413
Christmas is just
a really hard time for me.
600
00:18:53,425 --> 00:18:55,894
I wish I was with my family.
601
00:18:55,906 --> 00:18:57,940
Aw, he's not with his family.
602
00:18:57,950 --> 00:18:59,951
Poor thing's all
alone on Christmas.
603
00:18:59,961 --> 00:19:01,495
And then you cut me off,
604
00:19:01,503 --> 00:19:03,337
and that was the last straw.
605
00:19:03,346 --> 00:19:05,781
That's why I wanted
to bang your butt.
606
00:19:05,792 --> 00:19:07,426
You... I thought we
agreed not to say that.
607
00:19:07,434 --> 00:19:08,834
All right.
608
00:19:08,841 --> 00:19:10,876
Listen, I-I-I'm sorry
I cut you off.
609
00:19:10,886 --> 00:19:12,519
And I'm sorry you have
to work on Christmas.
610
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:13,527
That's rough.
611
00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:15,001
Tell me about it.
612
00:19:15,008 --> 00:19:16,541
I have to drive
through the night to get
613
00:19:16,549 --> 00:19:19,752
from a Christmas Eve parade
to a Christmas Day parade.
614
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:21,267
Oh, that's an awful lot
of driving.
615
00:19:21,274 --> 00:19:22,942
And a lot of information.
616
00:19:22,951 --> 00:19:24,718
Sounds like you're having
a horrible Christmas.
617
00:19:24,726 --> 00:19:27,094
Great, we've bonded, can I
lick your truck now? Yum.
618
00:19:27,106 --> 00:19:29,741
Probably the crappiest
Christmas ever.
619
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:32,755
Guess you just needed someone
to take out your frustration on.
620
00:19:32,769 --> 00:19:33,902
Exactly!
621
00:19:33,908 --> 00:19:35,275
I thought we'd worked past
622
00:19:35,282 --> 00:19:36,583
the whole punching thing.
623
00:19:36,590 --> 00:19:38,524
Nope.
Boy that felt good.
624
00:19:38,533 --> 00:19:40,167
Man, I really needed that.
625
00:19:40,175 --> 00:19:41,642
Hi, my name's Gary.
626
00:19:41,650 --> 00:19:44,485
Hey, Gary. Bob.
You're pretty strong.
627
00:19:44,498 --> 00:19:46,499
Now, let's see if we can get
you guys out of here, huh?
628
00:19:46,509 --> 00:19:48,811
Hey, how do you know
if you have internal bleeding?
629
00:19:48,822 --> 00:19:50,355
I can tell.
I can tell.
630
00:19:50,363 --> 00:19:52,231
Let me listen.
Let me listen.
631
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,541
All right! Here we go!
632
00:19:54,552 --> 00:19:55,686
Thanks, Gary!
633
00:19:55,692 --> 00:19:57,259
No problem.
634
00:19:57,267 --> 00:19:59,635
I'm gonna get back
into my, uh...
635
00:19:59,646 --> 00:20:01,647
prison on wheels now.
Okay!
636
00:20:01,657 --> 00:20:04,759
Aw, you just need a little
Christmas cheer in there.
637
00:20:04,773 --> 00:20:06,240
Bobby, give him the tree.
638
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:08,449
What? No. The tree is
the whole reason we...
639
00:20:08,459 --> 00:20:09,626
Give him the tree!
640
00:20:09,632 --> 00:20:11,166
All right.
That's so nice.
641
00:20:11,174 --> 00:20:12,174
Hey, come here.
642
00:20:12,179 --> 00:20:13,513
You ever have a Dutch Baby?
643
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,521
Put that in your mouth.
Merry Christmas.
644
00:20:15,531 --> 00:20:17,832
This is really good.
You can't even taste the baby.
645
00:20:17,843 --> 00:20:19,210
Yeah.
646
00:20:19,217 --> 00:20:21,385
Oh, oh, God,
he's so hungry, look.
647
00:20:24,076 --> 00:20:25,844
We got him!
648
00:20:25,853 --> 00:20:28,421
Oh my God, Teddy!
Teddy is Santa!
649
00:20:28,433 --> 00:20:30,634
I found the Christmas
card you didn't open.
650
00:20:30,645 --> 00:20:32,046
It's right there
on the counter.
651
00:20:32,053 --> 00:20:33,553
Open the card
while I'm here.
652
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,461
You'd rather me do that
than try and get the...
653
00:20:35,471 --> 00:20:37,472
Open the card, then you can
get the fridge off of me.
654
00:20:37,481 --> 00:20:39,849
Oh, well, anyway,
it's just a cat.
655
00:20:39,861 --> 00:20:41,328
What does it say?
656
00:20:41,335 --> 00:20:43,803
It says "Meow-y Christmas."
657
00:20:43,815 --> 00:20:44,849
Yup, yeah.
658
00:20:44,854 --> 00:20:46,221
That's cute.
659
00:20:46,228 --> 00:20:49,697
? Hoo, ha,
hoo, ha ?
660
00:20:49,713 --> 00:20:53,382
? Hoo, ha, hoo, ha
661
00:20:53,399 --> 00:20:57,335
? Jingle in the jungle,
hope you bringle me a bundle ?
662
00:20:57,354 --> 00:20:58,755
? Jingle on my tingle
663
00:20:58,762 --> 00:21:00,896
? Santa,
bring my favorite thingles ?
664
00:21:00,906 --> 00:21:02,407
? Some mittens for the monkeys
665
00:21:02,414 --> 00:21:04,715
? But make sure
they're pretty funky ?
666
00:21:04,727 --> 00:21:08,663
? Some leggings for the lion,
but remember he's size nine ?
667
00:21:08,681 --> 00:21:12,484
? Frogs and gators
and monkeys immense ?
668
00:21:12,501 --> 00:21:16,337
? Everybody jingle
to the jungle dance ?
669
00:21:16,355 --> 00:21:19,324
? We have candles
and lights and jingle... ?
670
00:21:19,374 --> 00:21:23,924
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