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1
00:00:02,415 --> 00:00:05,725
# They say I might as well face the truth
2
00:00:05,895 --> 00:00:09,205
# That I am just too long in the tooth
3
00:00:09,375 --> 00:00:12,731
# So I'm an OAP and weak-kneed
4
00:00:12,895 --> 00:00:16,171
# But I have not yet quite gone to seed
5
00:00:16,335 --> 00:00:20,248
# I may be over the hill now that I have retired
6
00:00:20,415 --> 00:00:23,566
# Fading away, but I'm not yet expired
7
00:00:23,735 --> 00:00:27,728
# Clapped out, run down, too old to save
8
00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:30,204
# One foot in the grave #
9
00:01:37,815 --> 00:01:42,843
Unbelievable! Did you see
what she was reading, at her age? Unbelievable!
10
00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:47,406
- what about her, at her age?
- ''The Joy Of Sex.'' That old woman.
11
00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,850
I didn't know where to put my face.
12
00:01:50,015 --> 00:01:54,884
well, it doesn't seem to have put you off
finding words for this brainteaser.
13
00:01:55,055 --> 00:01:58,650
Key word, ''undemocratic''. what have you got?
14
00:01:58,815 --> 00:02:02,490
''Mount, mate, moan, mound,
15
00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:06,125
''ride, rude, crude, nude,
16
00:02:06,295 --> 00:02:10,129
''rod, ram, nut, rut,
17
00:02:10,295 --> 00:02:12,809
''nice, cute, round, dome.''
18
00:02:12,975 --> 00:02:15,170
And ''dormice''.
19
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:18,327
- Very Freudian.
- You can't wonder at it.
20
00:02:18,495 --> 00:02:20,929
It's stuck under your nose all the while.
21
00:02:21,095 --> 00:02:24,087
- You can't go anywhere these days.
- Evidently.
22
00:02:24,255 --> 00:02:28,646
I told you about those two waitresses
discussing their boyfriends in the Pizza Hut.
23
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,488
Discussing their boyfriends' dimensions.
24
00:02:31,655 --> 00:02:34,965
- what dimensions?
- what do you think?
25
00:02:35,135 --> 00:02:37,330
what dimensions?
26
00:02:37,495 --> 00:02:40,612
well, they weren't comparing hat sizes.
27
00:02:40,775 --> 00:02:44,563
I don't want to listen to that
when I'm filling up my salad bowl.
28
00:02:44,735 --> 00:02:47,124
There's no need to get a complex about it.
29
00:02:47,295 --> 00:02:51,493
- You are what God made you.
- Exactly. I mean, we don't even know...
30
00:02:54,015 --> 00:02:56,404
what do you mean, what God made me?
31
00:02:57,535 --> 00:02:59,730
what's that supposed to mean?
32
00:02:59,895 --> 00:03:02,090
I'm not getting any complexes.
33
00:03:02,255 --> 00:03:06,043
- I'm glad to hear it.
- Nothing to get complexes about.
34
00:03:09,215 --> 00:03:12,730
I don't believe these letters.
Listen to this one.
35
00:03:12,895 --> 00:03:16,251
''Dear Auntie Lucy,
although we are both over 70,
36
00:03:16,415 --> 00:03:22,012
''my husband and I enjoy normal relations
every Saturday with the help of painkillers.
37
00:03:22,175 --> 00:03:25,565
''My husband is a little confused
about contraception,
38
00:03:25,735 --> 00:03:28,533
''and always keeps his cap on as a precaution.''
39
00:03:30,135 --> 00:03:32,524
£10 letter.
40
00:03:32,695 --> 00:03:37,325
I mean, why do people
want to talk about things like that?
41
00:03:37,495 --> 00:03:40,726
with some people,
that's all they can do, is talk.
42
00:03:40,895 --> 00:03:43,614
That's all some people are capable of.
43
00:03:45,415 --> 00:03:47,406
- what's the matter?
- Nothing.
44
00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:49,566
- what?
- Nothing.
45
00:04:02,815 --> 00:04:05,283
well, another half-hour, we'll be there.
46
00:04:05,455 --> 00:04:08,413
Bleak House, with April and Vince.
47
00:04:09,815 --> 00:04:14,411
I suppose everything will run to its usual form,
same as it always does when we're there.
48
00:04:14,575 --> 00:04:18,170
She'll laugh like a simpleton
at everything I say for no reason,
49
00:04:18,335 --> 00:04:21,930
while he goes out the back
and talks to his cucumbers.
50
00:04:24,215 --> 00:04:29,608
I thought when they moved away to open
a boarding house, we'd got rid of them. But no.
51
00:04:30,615 --> 00:04:34,005
Boarding house?
It's more like a wildlife kingdom.
52
00:04:34,175 --> 00:04:38,248
The things you see darting about
round their skirting boards.
53
00:04:38,415 --> 00:04:43,011
Inspecting the mattress is like
a day out at Chessington Zoo in itself.
54
00:04:45,135 --> 00:04:48,571
I expect they'll put us up
in that poky little attic room
55
00:04:48,735 --> 00:04:52,648
where you have to open the fanlight
to take your vest off.
56
00:04:55,255 --> 00:04:58,725
- Sorry?
- I didn't say anything.
57
00:04:58,895 --> 00:05:03,685
I thought you were about to tell me to
for God's sake give it a rest and stop moaning.
58
00:05:03,855 --> 00:05:06,130
You go ahead, if it makes you feel better.
59
00:05:12,015 --> 00:05:16,213
There we are, then. There's more stew
in the oven if you want it, anyone.
60
00:05:16,375 --> 00:05:18,650
All right, my loves? Lovely.
61
00:05:20,095 --> 00:05:23,610
Margaret, you're dining with us tonight,
just here. There we go.
62
00:05:23,775 --> 00:05:27,085
- Does it matter where I...?
- (MIAOw)
63
00:05:27,255 --> 00:05:29,928
Come here, you little flea circus, you.
64
00:05:30,855 --> 00:05:33,244
Sorry about that. She's next door's.
65
00:05:33,415 --> 00:05:36,725
She can smell the fish stain on the chair.
66
00:05:37,495 --> 00:05:39,963
She hasn't been sick under the table?
67
00:05:40,135 --> 00:05:42,524
And wash your hands.
68
00:05:42,695 --> 00:05:47,564
- There we are. Victor on his way down?
- Yes, he's just coming.
69
00:05:47,735 --> 00:05:52,126
Of course, we haven't seen
the pair of you since he retired.
70
00:05:52,295 --> 00:05:57,085
- How's it all going, then? All right?
- we have our ups and downs, you know.
71
00:05:57,255 --> 00:05:59,849
Oh, I love him to bits, your Victor. Don't you?
72
00:06:00,015 --> 00:06:04,566
I only have to look at him and I laugh.
It's the way he keeps coming out with things.
73
00:06:04,735 --> 00:06:06,965
Yes, he does tend to.
74
00:06:07,135 --> 00:06:08,932
Here he is.
75
00:06:09,095 --> 00:06:12,087
Victor, over here. we're at the captain's table.
76
00:06:12,255 --> 00:06:15,930
- Everything all right for you?
- Generally speaking, no.
77
00:06:16,095 --> 00:06:20,691
I've just been into the bathroom on the top
landing and discovered a dead seagull.
78
00:06:22,535 --> 00:06:27,928
You see what I mean? It doesn't matter
what he says. He's got that dry wit.
79
00:06:28,095 --> 00:06:33,169
I'm not joking. It's in there. I lifted up the seat
and there it was, staring at me.
80
00:06:34,175 --> 00:06:37,770
One of its feet caught
in that little lemon freshener thing.
81
00:06:39,975 --> 00:06:42,569
I'm being serious, for God's sake!
82
00:06:43,535 --> 00:06:46,925
Oh, dear. what, really?
83
00:06:47,095 --> 00:06:51,691
It must have flown through the window
and fallen in the bowl.
84
00:06:51,855 --> 00:06:56,053
well, I didn't imagine
it had come out of someone's bottom.
85
00:06:57,415 --> 00:07:01,408
I just wanted to know what you were
going to do about it, out of interest.
86
00:07:01,575 --> 00:07:05,568
Vince. There's a dead seagull in the top toilet.
87
00:07:05,735 --> 00:07:08,727
- will you see to it, please?
- Yes, dear.
88
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:11,284
Everything all right, everyone?
89
00:07:12,415 --> 00:07:14,406
And how's Victor?
90
00:07:14,575 --> 00:07:16,770
So nice to see you.
91
00:07:16,935 --> 00:07:19,654
- All right, my love?
- Oh, sorry.
92
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:23,728
I thought Bruce Forsyth
had just walked into the room.
93
00:07:23,895 --> 00:07:26,489
Oh, I love him to bits!
94
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:31,046
Erm... Stew all right, both of you?
Margaret? There's plenty more.
95
00:07:34,815 --> 00:07:36,533
Atchoo!
96
00:07:37,695 --> 00:07:40,607
Sorry about that. Must be the cat.
97
00:07:41,815 --> 00:07:44,283
I think I'm allergic.
98
00:07:52,175 --> 00:07:55,963
God knows when this bed was last turned.
Look at this.
99
00:07:56,135 --> 00:07:59,127
Frank Ifield, ''She Taught Me How To Yodel''.
100
00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:04,044
Hard as a brick, as usual.
101
00:08:04,215 --> 00:08:06,012
- what was that?
- what?
102
00:08:06,175 --> 00:08:10,373
I saw something just scuttle
across the top of that tallboy there.
103
00:08:10,535 --> 00:08:14,323
The next time I come here,
I'm going to pack my elephant gun.
104
00:08:15,415 --> 00:08:19,408
How are you feeling?
I think that brandy did you some good.
105
00:08:20,975 --> 00:08:24,650
- what side do you want to sleep on?
- I don't mind.
106
00:08:24,815 --> 00:08:26,533
Teeth.
107
00:08:28,855 --> 00:08:31,050
(SMASH)
108
00:08:43,695 --> 00:08:46,084
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
109
00:08:56,975 --> 00:08:59,569
- Oh. It's you.
- Yes.
110
00:08:59,735 --> 00:09:02,533
- Did you get rid of it all right?
- Yes.
111
00:09:02,695 --> 00:09:06,688
Of course, those swing bin liners
aren't made for cormorants.
112
00:09:06,855 --> 00:09:10,450
You tie them up
and the beak keeps sticking through.
113
00:09:14,575 --> 00:09:16,167
Atchoo!
114
00:09:16,335 --> 00:09:18,769
You'll have to get me some antihistamines.
115
00:09:18,935 --> 00:09:22,928
well, I put their poison down by the nest.
I don't think they'll do it again.
116
00:09:23,095 --> 00:09:25,689
Give me a hand to put this back.
117
00:09:32,215 --> 00:09:33,807
Oh!
118
00:09:33,975 --> 00:09:37,968
- I'm sorry. I didn't realise.
- No, no, is all right. we finish now.
119
00:09:38,135 --> 00:09:40,330
It's not here.
120
00:09:40,495 --> 00:09:42,690
Er... Door king.
121
00:09:42,855 --> 00:09:46,052
Da. Door king, we cannot find.
122
00:09:46,215 --> 00:09:49,525
- Door king.
- Oh, door key. There's not a door key.
123
00:09:49,695 --> 00:09:52,163
- Door key! Ah!
- Door key. Da.
124
00:09:57,255 --> 00:09:59,644
(CHATTING OUTSIDE)
125
00:10:03,455 --> 00:10:07,448
- Goodnight, Petra. Goodnight, Marie.
- Goodnight, Victor.
126
00:10:11,895 --> 00:10:14,693
Romanian, apparently, these two girls.
127
00:10:14,855 --> 00:10:17,733
Seemed very nice. Speak very good English.
128
00:10:17,895 --> 00:10:21,092
we were just having a chat in the bathroom.
129
00:10:21,255 --> 00:10:23,450
Oh, yes? what about?
130
00:10:23,615 --> 00:10:26,607
Made you foam at the mouth, whatever it was.
131
00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:30,011
The usual, was it?
132
00:10:30,175 --> 00:10:32,052
Dimensions.
133
00:10:33,535 --> 00:10:38,086
Oh, damn. And there's me
forgot to pack the steel ruler again.
134
00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:44,134
- Steel... what steel ruler?
- The one that's gone rusty through lack of use.
135
00:10:56,095 --> 00:10:58,086
Here we are!
136
00:10:58,255 --> 00:11:02,453
Breakfast in bed.
Nothing but the best for Victor.
137
00:11:02,615 --> 00:11:05,004
There you go. There's coffee.
138
00:11:05,175 --> 00:11:06,972
Fruit juice.
139
00:11:07,135 --> 00:11:09,729
weetabix soggy with honey.
140
00:11:09,895 --> 00:11:14,685
Nice runny egg and a toasted crispy bun,
all done to a turn.
141
00:11:15,615 --> 00:11:17,810
Sounds revolting.
142
00:11:19,855 --> 00:11:22,449
Oh, you make me laugh.
143
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:28,212
Oh, by the way, Margaret left early. She's gone
to do some shopping and some sightseeing.
144
00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:32,253
How did you sleep? All right, did you?
145
00:11:32,415 --> 00:11:35,009
Yes, very well, thank you.
146
00:11:35,175 --> 00:11:37,564
Oh, by the way,
147
00:11:37,735 --> 00:11:41,125
Vince wants to see you later in the garden.
148
00:11:41,295 --> 00:11:44,492
- Got something for you.
- Oh, really? what is it?
149
00:11:44,655 --> 00:11:47,169
My lips are sealed.
150
00:11:51,535 --> 00:11:54,732
How are you today, my little darlings?
151
00:11:54,895 --> 00:11:56,806
How's my Topsy?
152
00:11:56,975 --> 00:12:00,888
You'd like a nice little drink, wouldn't you?
Course you would.
153
00:12:05,735 --> 00:12:08,044
There we are.
154
00:12:11,255 --> 00:12:15,248
Good morning, my tasty greens.
Time for breakfast.
155
00:12:15,415 --> 00:12:18,009
I haven't forgotten you.
156
00:12:18,175 --> 00:12:20,166
There we are.
157
00:12:22,055 --> 00:12:26,048
They hear every word you say,
you know, Victor. Every word.
158
00:12:27,015 --> 00:12:31,008
And you respond as well.
Don't you, my little darlings, eh?
159
00:12:31,655 --> 00:12:35,443
I don't suppose you've ever grown
an organic cucumber.
160
00:12:35,615 --> 00:12:38,607
Hmm... I can't say I have, Vince, no.
161
00:12:38,775 --> 00:12:42,768
It's not something to dabble in
unless you know what you're doing.
162
00:12:42,935 --> 00:12:47,725
I've got something for you.
A little retirement present. It's down here.
163
00:12:47,895 --> 00:12:50,887
Oh, dear. what is it? An organic compost heap?
164
00:12:52,015 --> 00:12:55,212
It's just a little something I ran up myself.
165
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,764
You might like it, you might not.
166
00:13:00,535 --> 00:13:03,572
There. what do you think of that, then?
167
00:13:12,615 --> 00:13:14,412
Yes, it's er...
168
00:13:14,575 --> 00:13:16,691
It's a gravestone.
169
00:13:18,655 --> 00:13:20,134
Yes.
170
00:13:20,295 --> 00:13:23,287
You haven't got one already, have you?
171
00:13:25,535 --> 00:13:27,412
No, I... No.
172
00:13:27,575 --> 00:13:30,647
Oh, good. Six weeks it took me to do that.
173
00:13:31,535 --> 00:13:35,528
I'm quite pleased with the scroll-work
round the top. Very tricky, that.
174
00:13:35,695 --> 00:13:39,893
One slip of the chisel,
you've bollocksed up the whole slab.
175
00:13:43,335 --> 00:13:45,724
I don't know what to say, Vince.
176
00:13:45,895 --> 00:13:49,888
I suppose it might seem a bit morbid
in some people's eyes,
177
00:13:50,055 --> 00:13:53,650
but that's money
you won't have to fork out later on.
178
00:13:53,815 --> 00:13:58,013
As that always used to be my trade,
stonemasonry, I thought, ''why not?
179
00:13:58,175 --> 00:14:01,292
''Good quality marble. He'll appreciate that.''
180
00:14:01,455 --> 00:14:06,609
Shame you haven't got your car with you. Still,
you can leave it here with me until you need it.
181
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,414
Yes.
182
00:14:11,615 --> 00:14:14,573
Yes, well, perhaps I'll do that, then, Vince.
183
00:14:16,575 --> 00:14:20,090
- Thank you very much.
- You're very welcome.
184
00:14:31,255 --> 00:14:35,453
Oh. where have you been all day?
Joyriding about the place?
185
00:14:35,615 --> 00:14:40,405
Here and there. You know. Down the front.
Round the shops. Bought a few cards.
186
00:14:40,575 --> 00:14:43,567
- what about you?
- Me? Nothing much.
187
00:14:43,735 --> 00:14:47,523
I was force-fed weetabix purée
and sentenced to death.
188
00:14:47,695 --> 00:14:50,004
An average day, really.
189
00:15:00,855 --> 00:15:02,846
Mmm...
190
00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:31,130
Victor, what are you doing?
Take that off your head.
191
00:15:31,295 --> 00:15:36,085
- I'm boiling, Margaret.
- I have just put superglue on that glass.
192
00:15:36,255 --> 00:15:37,768
what?
193
00:15:37,935 --> 00:15:41,723
I just stuck the bottom in
where it had come out.
194
00:15:41,895 --> 00:15:44,090
Oh, my God!
195
00:15:44,255 --> 00:15:46,211
Don't! Agh!
196
00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:48,570
It's stuck solid.
197
00:15:48,735 --> 00:15:53,934
- Don't pull at it! You'll take the skin away.
- You know how quickly that stuff sets.
198
00:15:56,095 --> 00:15:57,892
Brilliant!
199
00:15:58,055 --> 00:16:00,444
Absolutely brilliant!
200
00:16:01,975 --> 00:16:05,968
I just wished for this to round off the day.
I prayed for this moment.
201
00:16:06,135 --> 00:16:10,128
This joyous moment
where I've got a glassful of Ind Coope bitter
202
00:16:10,295 --> 00:16:12,889
welded to my forehead for all eternity.
203
00:16:14,455 --> 00:16:18,846
- Don't get up! It'll spill everywhere.
- I can't lie like this for ever, can I?
204
00:16:19,015 --> 00:16:23,531
- Like a bedridden Dalek.
- I'll get April to phone for an ambulance.
205
00:16:23,695 --> 00:16:28,007
Take you down the hospital.
They'll get it off in no time at all.
206
00:16:40,495 --> 00:16:43,168
Did you manage all right in the toilet?
207
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,326
Yes, thank you.
208
00:16:45,495 --> 00:16:48,089
- with one hand?
- Yes, thank you.
209
00:16:57,095 --> 00:16:59,893
I suppose you can see their point.
210
00:17:00,055 --> 00:17:04,253
It's not an actual emergency, as such.
211
00:17:04,415 --> 00:17:09,887
And if we'd gone off and got stuck
in the rush hour, you'd only have felt worse.
212
00:17:10,055 --> 00:17:14,685
Vince will drive you to casualty first thing.
You'll feel better after a night's sleep.
213
00:17:14,855 --> 00:17:17,050
I expect so, yes.
214
00:17:30,135 --> 00:17:32,524
Oh. Yes, Vince.
215
00:17:32,695 --> 00:17:35,084
Very nice.
216
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,530
It must have taken you ages.
217
00:17:37,695 --> 00:17:41,290
Obviously I haven't filled in
the second date on it yet.
218
00:17:41,455 --> 00:17:44,333
If and when, you've only got to give me a shout.
219
00:17:44,495 --> 00:17:48,454
Soon knock that off for you.
won't take ten minutes.
220
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:50,814
No.
221
00:17:51,815 --> 00:17:54,613
You lovely little darling, you.
222
00:17:54,775 --> 00:17:57,573
I reckon it won't be long now, will it?
223
00:18:00,535 --> 00:18:02,253
Sorry?
224
00:18:06,015 --> 00:18:09,052
Oh, there we are. There's your receipt.
225
00:18:09,215 --> 00:18:15,404
And some ointment for your wrists and ankles.
It's very good. Guests swear by it in that room.
226
00:18:15,575 --> 00:18:18,533
Safe journey home. Bye-bye.
227
00:18:18,695 --> 00:18:21,573
Did they think he'd be down there long, then?
228
00:18:21,735 --> 00:18:25,523
well, I dropped him off at nine.
It was like a madhouse then.
229
00:18:25,695 --> 00:18:29,290
Told me I'd better not wait,
he'd make his own way back.
230
00:18:29,455 --> 00:18:31,844
Oh, that sounds like him now.
231
00:18:32,015 --> 00:18:34,006
- Morning!
- Morning, April.
232
00:18:34,175 --> 00:18:38,885
Oh, Vince, have we got some powder
for the mattress in number seven?
233
00:18:39,055 --> 00:18:41,649
Righty-o, then, I'll see you at dinner.
234
00:18:41,815 --> 00:18:43,612
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
235
00:18:46,855 --> 00:18:49,449
No problems with the glass, then?
236
00:18:49,615 --> 00:18:51,446
what glass?
237
00:18:51,615 --> 00:18:55,813
Oh! No. They have a special solvent.
It didn't take more than five minutes.
238
00:18:55,975 --> 00:18:58,967
- (LAUGHING)
- I walked back along the front.
239
00:18:59,135 --> 00:19:01,729
Then I met Petra and Marie.
240
00:19:01,895 --> 00:19:05,888
what's that on your neck?
That, on the side of your neck.
241
00:19:06,055 --> 00:19:08,728
where? Oh, you know where I got that?
242
00:19:08,895 --> 00:19:12,888
In the bathroom last night.
I thought I felt one of them bite me then.
243
00:19:16,215 --> 00:19:21,414
Bloody things. Just as well I got some more
of this spray, before they chew us all to...
244
00:19:22,535 --> 00:19:24,526
Margaret?
245
00:19:24,695 --> 00:19:26,492
Margaret?
246
00:19:28,015 --> 00:19:30,734
(SPEAKING ROMANIAN)
247
00:19:30,895 --> 00:19:33,489
Something the matter? what is it?
248
00:19:33,655 --> 00:19:36,453
(IN ROMANIAN)
249
00:19:36,615 --> 00:19:39,004
Use the shower.
250
00:19:39,175 --> 00:19:41,166
But is full of erm...
251
00:19:41,335 --> 00:19:43,803
- Marie?
- what is the word?
252
00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,966
Midgy. Midgy.
253
00:19:46,135 --> 00:19:49,332
Midges? Oh, I've got the very thing here.
254
00:19:49,495 --> 00:19:52,567
Stand back. I'll deal with this. There we are.
255
00:19:52,735 --> 00:19:54,930
Here we go.
256
00:19:57,535 --> 00:20:02,325
what the bloody hell...?
what are you bloody playing at?
257
00:20:04,975 --> 00:20:08,968
I think they say
they are on at the winter Gardens.
258
00:20:09,135 --> 00:20:11,774
with Bernie Clifton. Da.
259
00:20:14,055 --> 00:20:16,649
(IN ROMANIAN)
260
00:20:29,455 --> 00:20:32,765
I hope your private parts recover soon.
261
00:20:34,135 --> 00:20:36,524
I hope so, yes. Thank you.
262
00:20:39,095 --> 00:20:43,008
Margaret? Margaret, open this door.
what's going on?
263
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:48,203
You tell me! I suppose this is called
proving your manhood, is it?
264
00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:50,445
Proving...? what are you talking about?
265
00:20:50,615 --> 00:20:54,369
This...display of lust and lechery
266
00:20:54,535 --> 00:20:56,526
with Dracula's daughters.
267
00:20:56,695 --> 00:20:58,925
Margaret, open this door!
268
00:20:59,095 --> 00:21:03,885
I'm not sure that I dare,
to such a rampant super-stallion.
269
00:21:04,735 --> 00:21:07,124
what's the matter?
270
00:21:07,295 --> 00:21:10,253
Nothing you can do anything about, evidently.
271
00:21:10,415 --> 00:21:12,292
Oh. Right.
272
00:21:12,455 --> 00:21:17,449
well, I might as well go home, shall I?
I don't seem to be able to do anything here.
273
00:22:26,215 --> 00:22:29,332
You asleep? How's the migraine?
274
00:22:30,295 --> 00:22:32,889
Not much better? I found these.
275
00:22:33,055 --> 00:22:36,047
But they're a bit strong. They do knock you out.
276
00:22:36,215 --> 00:22:38,206
Oh, thanks.
277
00:22:38,375 --> 00:22:43,165
This bed's ever so hard. why don't you
have our bed? we'll sleep in here tonight.
278
00:22:43,335 --> 00:22:47,931
- No, no, no. I'll be fine, thanks.
- Oh, go on. It'll be more comfortable.
279
00:22:48,095 --> 00:22:50,893
There's thicker curtains.
won't let the light in.
280
00:22:51,055 --> 00:22:53,046
what time is it?
281
00:22:53,215 --> 00:22:57,493
Margaret, it's just gone ten.
Now, stop worrying about him.
282
00:22:57,655 --> 00:23:00,249
I mean, it was just one of those things.
283
00:23:00,415 --> 00:23:04,408
You didn't know he was going to be
beaten up by midgets.
284
00:23:06,375 --> 00:23:10,971
I expect he'll be home by now.
You can give him a ring in the morning.
285
00:23:11,135 --> 00:23:13,126
There we are, my love.
286
00:23:14,655 --> 00:23:16,850
(RINGING)
287
00:23:19,255 --> 00:23:21,371
Yes? who is it?
288
00:23:21,535 --> 00:23:23,651
- Police.
- Oh.
289
00:23:23,815 --> 00:23:26,204
Yes, wait a minute. Let you in.
290
00:23:27,455 --> 00:23:29,446
- Mrs April Bluett?
- Yes.
291
00:23:29,615 --> 00:23:32,334
Got something here I think belongs to you.
292
00:23:34,335 --> 00:23:39,284
He's not making a lot of sense. we found him
in a public lavatory making seagull noises.
293
00:23:39,455 --> 00:23:41,923
In future, try and keep an eye on him.
294
00:23:44,215 --> 00:23:49,005
Oh, Victor! we must get you upstairs
and get you undressed.
295
00:23:49,175 --> 00:23:52,565
- Keep your hands off me.
- what's he been doing?
296
00:23:52,735 --> 00:23:55,408
Come on, give us a hand. Get him upstairs.
297
00:25:21,095 --> 00:25:24,883
Oh, my fishing trousers.
I forgot to bring them up.
298
00:25:25,055 --> 00:25:27,694
Don't you go down there disturbing them.
299
00:25:27,855 --> 00:25:30,653
I can't go fishing without my fishing trousers.
300
00:25:37,215 --> 00:25:41,413
You up, my love?
Much nicer in my bed, wasn't it?
301
00:25:44,975 --> 00:25:48,445
I won't tell Margaret about last night.
302
00:25:48,615 --> 00:25:51,493
It'll be our little secret.
303
00:26:20,975 --> 00:26:23,364
I thought you'd gone home.
304
00:26:23,535 --> 00:26:26,925
Erm... No, I came back in the end.
305
00:26:27,095 --> 00:26:29,484
I slept on the sofa.
306
00:26:29,655 --> 00:26:31,452
Oh. Right.
307
00:26:32,775 --> 00:26:35,289
- Are you all right?
- Yes.
308
00:26:35,455 --> 00:26:37,810
- You?
- Yes.
309
00:26:38,895 --> 00:26:43,207
- Erm... The taxi's just coming.
- Yes, I know.
310
00:26:43,375 --> 00:26:49,166
You take these down and I'll be with you in
a second. I've got one last job to take care of.
311
00:26:59,335 --> 00:27:01,724
Good morning, my love!
312
00:27:01,895 --> 00:27:05,604
I thought you might be hungry
after last night's exertion.
313
00:27:05,775 --> 00:27:11,088
Oh, Victor, that's very kind of you,
but I've already eaten.
314
00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:16,727
I've got everything. Soggy weetabix with honey.
Runny eggs. Orange juice. Coffee.
315
00:27:16,895 --> 00:27:19,170
Yes, there we are.
316
00:27:19,335 --> 00:27:22,452
Breakfast in bed. Oh! Nearly forgot.
317
00:27:24,375 --> 00:27:26,684
Hot toasted bun.
318
00:27:33,015 --> 00:27:38,772
Done to a turn. Next time you take advantage
of my body, it'll be under that gravestone.
319
00:27:46,495 --> 00:27:49,532
Did you say goodbye to April for me?
320
00:27:49,695 --> 00:27:51,492
Yes.
321
00:27:51,655 --> 00:27:56,046
Strange. It was the first time
she didn't burst into laughter.
322
00:27:58,095 --> 00:28:01,292
Oh! Could you stop here just a minute, please?
323
00:28:05,735 --> 00:28:08,044
won't be a sec.
324
00:28:17,135 --> 00:28:20,047
- Morning, Margaret.
- Morning, Vince.
325
00:28:26,495 --> 00:28:28,690
Sorry about that.
326
00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:38,683
Should be home by seven.
327
00:28:38,855 --> 00:28:40,652
Easily.
328
00:28:40,815 --> 00:28:44,808
I thought, perhaps,
we might have an early night tonight.
329
00:28:46,975 --> 00:28:49,284
That would be nice.
330
00:28:51,815 --> 00:28:55,444
# They say I might as well face the truth
331
00:28:55,615 --> 00:28:58,527
# That I am just too long in the tooth
332
00:28:58,695 --> 00:29:01,926
# I've started to deteriorate
333
00:29:02,095 --> 00:29:05,531
# And now I've passed my own sell-by date
334
00:29:05,695 --> 00:29:09,370
# Oh, I am no spring chicken, it 's true
335
00:29:09,535 --> 00:29:12,845
# I have to pop my teeth in to chew
336
00:29:13,015 --> 00:29:16,007
# And my old knees have started to knock
337
00:29:16,175 --> 00:29:19,372
# I've just got too many miles on the clock
338
00:29:19,535 --> 00:29:23,448
# So I'm a wrinkly, crinkly, set in my ways
339
00:29:23,615 --> 00:29:27,369
# It's true that my body has seen better days
340
00:29:27,535 --> 00:29:31,130
# But give me half a chanceand I can still misbehave
341
00:29:31,295 --> 00:29:34,093
# One foot in the grave
342
00:29:34,255 --> 00:29:36,849
# One foot in the grave
343
00:29:38,015 --> 00:29:40,404
# One foot in the grave #
27990
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