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1
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,265
- At the far
reaches of the Universe
2
00:00:56,557 --> 00:01:00,394
lies a planet of men who
have advanced technologically
3
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,814
beyond the realm of human comprehension.
4
00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:07,443
There is no breeding.
5
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,904
They are a product of cloning
6
00:01:10,196 --> 00:01:14,116
and their reproductive organs
have shrunk and disappeared.
7
00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:20,664
All emotions have been
bred out of this race
8
00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:24,710
and each succeeding generation
has become more ambitious
9
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,546
and driven than the previous one.
10
00:01:29,632 --> 00:01:31,842
They want to rule the Universe
11
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:34,804
and now they are planning
their next takeover
12
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:36,222
from the inside.
13
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,540
- This planet is four
solar systems from our own,
14
00:02:02,832 --> 00:02:06,752
across the Sea of Vell at
a fixed position of 13-690,
15
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,754
on the subset grid 410.
16
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:13,717
It is a solid, rigid
mass, with a dense core
17
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:16,220
of magnetic, metallic liquid.
18
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:20,766
The atmosphere is composed
of nitrogen, oxygen
19
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:25,020
and argon in amounts of 78,
21, and one percent by volume.
20
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,358
This is our target.
21
00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,278
This is Earth,
22
00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:36,073
and this is where one of
you will serve your planet
23
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,742
to the act of procreation.
24
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:41,495
Your training will be extensive.
25
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,124
- The Earth
woman's reproductive organs
26
00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:49,086
are located here.
27
00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:51,255
The access point is here.
28
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:55,301
Insertion in any other access point
29
00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:57,803
will not result in pregnancy.
30
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:02,558
To get the woman in a
receptive mood for insertion,
31
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,144
compliment her on these areas.
32
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:15,905
She will also enjoy being
told that she smells nice,
33
00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:18,741
and that her footwear is stylish.
34
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,952
- You will spend many hours in study,
35
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:23,621
trying to learn all you can
36
00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:26,165
about the females of this planet.
37
00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:27,917
- It
is important to a woman
38
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:31,837
that she feels you are
listening when she speaks.
39
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,674
This is most easily achieved
by repeating the phrase,
40
00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:39,094
uh huh, when the woman is communicating.
41
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,890
- I went
to the store this morning.
42
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:44,099
- Uh huh.
43
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,644
- And on the way, the car
started making a funny noise
44
00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:47,937
so I pulled over.
45
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,063
- Uh huh.
46
00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:51,273
- Bet then I couldn't hear it, so I got in
47
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,608
and started driving again.
48
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,109
- Uh huh.
49
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,778
- And then it was fine.
50
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:56,904
- Uh huh.
51
00:03:57,196 --> 00:03:58,489
- You will familiarize yourself
52
00:03:58,781 --> 00:04:01,200
with her predilections, her customs,
53
00:04:01,492 --> 00:04:03,494
her ranges of mood and temperament,
54
00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:07,665
her smiles, her frowns,
her ups, and her downs.
55
00:04:07,957 --> 00:04:09,500
- Your footwear is quite fashionable.
56
00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:10,501
- Thank you.
57
00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:12,086
- May I insert my penis in you?
58
00:04:12,378 --> 00:04:12,920
- Yes.
59
00:04:14,964 --> 00:04:16,632
- 10 seconds.
60
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,677
This time is your personal best.
61
00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:21,095
Congratulations.
62
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,101
- You have all performed admirably,
63
00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:30,354
and your concentration has been exemplary,
64
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:33,107
but one man has been chosen.
65
00:04:33,399 --> 00:04:35,901
This man has excelled in his training
66
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,487
and we are confident
that the women of earth
67
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,364
will be both interested in
68
00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:44,952
and willing to experience
insertion with him.
69
00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:46,578
This man is H1449-6
70
00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,883
Congratulations H1449-6
71
00:05:01,427 --> 00:05:03,429
or as you'll now be referred to,
72
00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:06,348
Harold Anderson from Seattle, Washington.
73
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,225
But let me warn you, we've
given you a great wealth
74
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:09,476
of information about Earth
75
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,395
but her people are unpredictable.
76
00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:13,647
As with all alien cultures,
there will be subtleties
77
00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:16,442
which we couldn't possibly
have prepared you for.
78
00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:18,694
However, given your adaptability
79
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,612
and your great capacity for learning,
80
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:23,574
we are certain that you will
achieve your goal with ease.
81
00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:25,451
The success of our planet's domination
82
00:05:25,743 --> 00:05:28,245
of the Universe rests in your hands.
83
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:29,538
- Thank you, sir.
84
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,248
- Now, if you'll go with these men,
85
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,918
they'll arrange your transfer
and attach your penis.
86
00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:54,605
- Ladies and gentlemen,
87
00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:56,940
we'll be beginning our
descent into the Phoenix area
88
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:58,359
in about 30 minutes.
89
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:00,861
Flight crew will be by shortly to pick up
90
00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:03,113
all remaining food and beverage items.
91
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:06,950
Thank you once again
for flying Arizona West.
92
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,916
- What the hell is that?
93
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,334
- What?
94
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:18,253
- There, inbound at our two o'clock.
95
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,588
Jesus, it's movin'.
96
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,590
- Tell me where to go.
97
00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:28,263
Hydraulics?
98
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,100
- Uh, landing hydraulics okay.
99
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:33,102
Wing and tail hydraulics okay.
100
00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:34,436
- We're losing altitude.
101
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:35,896
- Air speed is dropping.
102
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,898
What the hell is this?
103
00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:41,318
- Collision
alert, collision alert.
104
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:44,321
- It's on us!
105
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,165
- Simple people.
106
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:56,917
They're a thousand years behind us.
107
00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:58,210
- Haven't even figured out that round
108
00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,003
is the most efficient way to fly.
109
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:01,588
This is going to be a snap.
110
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,257
- Remember, get a woman pregnant.
111
00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:04,258
- Give me two days.
112
00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:07,094
- Wait for the baby, and then come back.
113
00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:10,222
And whatever you do, don't
let anyone know the truth.
114
00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:12,599
We don't want another
Roswell on our hands.
115
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,435
- Well that happened
because you made the mistake
116
00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:16,437
of sending H228-J.
117
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:19,690
That guy was an idiot,
and not as handsome as me.
118
00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:21,024
- Nowhere near.
119
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:38,625
- Hi, hi.
120
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,170
Hey there.
121
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:42,629
Hey, I like your shoes.
122
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:43,547
- What?
123
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:44,882
- Hey, let me give you
a hand there, gorgeous.
124
00:07:45,174 --> 00:07:46,425
- Sir please, I need you to take your seat
125
00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:47,634
and fasten your seatbelt.
126
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:49,011
- Rebecca.
127
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,013
You know, I always wanted
my children to have a mother
128
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:53,182
named Rebecca, interested?
129
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:54,892
- Are you all right, sir?
130
00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:57,769
- Well, to be honest I
am a little lightheaded
131
00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,771
from that perfume.
132
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,398
You smell nice.
133
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,859
- Sir, if you don't take your seat,
134
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,944
I'll report you when we land.
135
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,154
- Ouch.
136
00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:09,156
Kitty likes to scratch.
137
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:13,702
Anyone sitting here?
138
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,082
Well there is now, hi there.
139
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,709
- Hi.
140
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:21,919
- You're shaking.
141
00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:23,378
- I thought we were gonna crash.
142
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:27,508
- I like it when a woman
shakes, turns me on.
143
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:28,425
- What?
144
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,346
- I like your shoes.
145
00:08:32,638 --> 00:08:33,305
- Thank you.
146
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:34,556
- And you smell nice too.
147
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:35,390
- Thank you.
148
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,392
- Going to Phoenix on
business or pleasure?
149
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,436
- I'm going to see my husband.
150
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:40,270
- Uh huh.
151
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,271
- He's a Pharmacist.
152
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,273
He works in the Pharmaceutical industry.
153
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:44,107
- Uh huh.
154
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:46,109
- And we had a big fight
before I took this flight.
155
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:47,486
I know you shouldn't get on a flight
156
00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:49,279
without saying you're sorry,
or I love you or something,
157
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:50,948
and now, if I'd been
killed he'd still think
158
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,366
I was pissed off.
159
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:19,226
- Hey!
160
00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:21,270
Hey, watch the cart, man.
161
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:23,438
- Do you want me to get you a copy
162
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,483
of the FAA rules and
regulations, ass wipe?
163
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,111
I do my job, then you do yours.
164
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,696
Stay outta my way!
165
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:35,075
- They'll give anybody
a fucking badge, man.
166
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:35,909
- Hello Mr. Jones.
167
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,077
- What we got here?
168
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:38,370
- Well, it's hard to say.
169
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:39,788
It could be bad air, but judging
170
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,039
from what I've heard from the crew,
171
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,292
it sounds a little more
out of the ordinary.
172
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:44,918
- How long you been with the department?
173
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,169
- Uh, three months, sir.
174
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,087
- Let me do you a favor.
175
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,547
It's never out of the ordinary,
176
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:49,590
never.
177
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,883
It's either a flock of
geese, a weather balloon,
178
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:54,970
or if it's Friday, the crew is drunk.
179
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,346
Yeah.
180
00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:59,182
Nadine, what did I tell you
about using this number?
181
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,059
I told you never to call me at this number
182
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,603
unless the goddamn house is on fire
183
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:06,440
and I don't hear a siren,
so this better be good.
184
00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:09,276
Yeah, I know today's our anniversary.
185
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:10,902
What makes you think I forgot?
186
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:12,446
How do you know I'm not comin' home
187
00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:15,949
with a bunch of flowers or
somethin' along those lines?
188
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,618
How do you know that?
189
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:19,328
Nadine don't, don't cry.
190
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:20,245
- Bye bye.
191
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,289
Bye.
192
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:35,552
Bye bye.
193
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,097
- One of the passengers
was shooting some video
194
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:40,557
when the incident took place.
195
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,059
Thought you might wanna take a look at it.
196
00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:42,976
- Uh huh.
197
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,187
Deplane 'em here, get a list
of the passengers and crew,
198
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:46,730
check the cabin, write your report,
199
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:48,690
and if you see anything
at all interesting,
200
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,610
just remember one thing, it's not.
201
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:58,575
- Well, Christmas is early this year.
202
00:10:58,867 --> 00:10:59,910
You guys twins?
203
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:01,244
- Pft, asshole.
204
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,458
- Would you like to contribute
to the downtown mission?
205
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:09,169
- Sure, what can I get
for 150 bucks, gorgeous?
206
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:11,713
- Oh.
207
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:26,770
What's that noise?
208
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:28,855
- I don't hear anything.
209
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,401
- It's coming out of your pants.
210
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:35,195
- There's something else
that comes out of my pants.
211
00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:36,363
Wanna see?
212
00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:40,200
- Oh!
213
00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:42,911
- Thanks, keep the change.
214
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,371
- Can I have your autograph?
215
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:45,205
- I beg your pardon?
216
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,374
- Well, you are Miss America, aren't you?
217
00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:48,208
- Yeah.
218
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,960
Who are you, Mr. Universe?
219
00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:51,336
- Hey, where ya headed?
220
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:52,254
- Chicago.
221
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:53,797
- Oh.
222
00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:55,424
- That's attractive.
223
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,134
- The windy city.
224
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:58,844
So, what time's your flight?
225
00:11:59,136 --> 00:11:59,761
- 40 minutes.
226
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,972
- Ah, well, I don't know
what you're doing until then,
227
00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:04,975
but I notice that there's a
Hilton right across the street
228
00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:08,687
and I don't know if they have
a 40 minute rate or not but,
229
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:14,109
maybe we could...
230
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:15,026
Taxi.
231
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,015
- Hey, I know who you are.
232
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:45,849
- You do?
233
00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:47,309
- Yeah, I know exactly who you are
234
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:48,643
and where you're from.
235
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,103
- Really?
236
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:51,229
- New guy from Seattle, right?
237
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:52,147
Commercial and home loans?
238
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,065
- How did you know?
239
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:55,400
- My gut.
240
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:56,234
Perry Gordon.
241
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:57,486
I'm in commercial and home loans myself.
242
00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,029
- Nice to meet ya, Harold Anderson.
243
00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:02,157
- Yeah, word is you're some
sorta big banking kahuna
244
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:02,991
from up north.
245
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,160
I heard your letters of
recommendation were unbelievable.
246
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,661
- Ah, they're not that great.
247
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,789
- Oh yeah, they were, 'cause I
snuck into Mr. Fisk's office,
248
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:09,831
read every single one.
249
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:11,917
- Who's that?
250
00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:15,086
- Oh, that's Rita, office manager.
251
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:16,421
I got her a job.
252
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,673
Smartest thing I ever did.
253
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:20,801
- Is she--
254
00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:22,302
- Too late, my friend.
255
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:23,136
All mine.
256
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,472
Yep, she's a noisy one too.
257
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,307
Thank god we work in a bank,
258
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:30,435
able to close the vault door,
nobody can hear a thing.
259
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:31,770
- Does she have a friend?
260
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:32,604
- I don't know.
261
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:34,022
Listen, anytime you wanna
hit the night spots,
262
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:34,856
you give me a call.
263
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,525
- Thanks, great, how about now?
264
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:40,737
- You kidding, right?
265
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,197
- No.
266
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,865
- It's 10 o'clock in the morning.
267
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:44,950
You haven't met the boss yet.
268
00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:46,034
- So?
269
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,994
- You got some balls on ya.
270
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:52,624
- I sure do, two of 'em,
right below my penis.
271
00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:53,542
Listen,
272
00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:57,337
I gotta have sex, and I
have to have it right away.
273
00:13:57,629 --> 00:14:00,006
I mean, I'm really, really horny.
274
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:01,091
- I'm getting that.
275
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:02,384
- Anderson?
276
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:03,301
- Yes sir.
277
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:05,804
- I've been waiting for you.
278
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,180
Don Fisk.
279
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:08,306
Come on in.
280
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:10,475
- Good morning, Mr. Fisk.
281
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,737
- As long as the contractionary
282
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,532
British fiscal policy continues.
283
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:28,076
- Well, I can see we don't need any time
284
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,327
to get acclimated.
285
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:30,370
- Pretty girl.
286
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:33,123
- Oh, that's Rita, the office manager.
287
00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:34,124
She's mine.
288
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,544
We go to Scottsdale every weekend.
289
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,337
I have a condo up there.
290
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,840
By the way, you're free to
use it anytime you like.
291
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:42,674
- Rita?
292
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:43,508
- The condo.
293
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:44,801
- Thanks.
294
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,971
- You know, I have never seen such a stack
295
00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:49,639
of glowing recommendations.
296
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,683
If I didn't know better, I'd
think you wrote them yourself.
297
00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:58,440
You know, there's a vice
president's job opening up soon.
298
00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,025
I assume you're interested.
299
00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:01,610
- No, not necessarily.
300
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:04,154
- Come on Anderson, it's
okay to be ambitious.
301
00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:05,196
You're only human.
302
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,364
- Well.
303
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:07,365
- Well, think it over.
304
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,951
In the meantime, welcome aboard.
305
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:10,952
- Thank you.
306
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,412
- We got a wonderful family
of people working here.
307
00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,456
It's top quality people.
308
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:15,832
Except for Perry.
309
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,334
He's a sneaky little prick.
310
00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:19,836
He's always looking for
pussy, never doing his job.
311
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:21,546
I can't stand that.
312
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,548
- That is good to know.
313
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:25,800
- Neglected?
314
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,136
Nadine, how can you feel neglected?
315
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,180
What do you mean, we never
do anything together?
316
00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:31,473
What about that trip to New Orleans?
317
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:34,726
That was a good time, wasn't it?
318
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,311
I don't care if it was four years ago.
319
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:37,354
I didn't ask ya when it was,
320
00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:40,732
I asked ya if it was a good time.
321
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:43,068
Don't get all pissy, will ya?
322
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,819
Jesus, I can't even answer your question.
323
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,489
Honey, can you hold?
324
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,240
Can you hold please?
325
00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:50,158
Thank you.
326
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,827
Jones.
327
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,872
No, that's closed, Pacific
East flight 769-er?
328
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,916
Yeah, it was the hydraulics.
329
00:15:58,208 --> 00:15:59,834
Arizona West flight 442,
330
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,461
I was just gettin' through that stuff.
331
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:03,463
Wait a minute, hold on.
332
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,549
Yeah, I'm gonna have to call ya back.
333
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,301
Let me call ya back.
334
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,020
What the hell?
335
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,033
- You like?
336
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,077
Trust me, this is the
best titty bar in Phoenix.
337
00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:35,370
- How many are there?
338
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,205
- This one, and I think
there might be one other,
339
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,416
but I heard it sucks.
340
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,126
- You come here a lot?
341
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,752
- Once, twice a year.
342
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,504
- Hi Perry.
- Hey Cheryl.
343
00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:45,839
Grab me a beer, will ya sweetheart?
344
00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:47,215
- Sure, and what would you like?
345
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,550
- Someone just like you.
346
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:51,136
- Relative?
347
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,682
- I'm your cowboy, baby.
348
00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:58,601
- Great, but that noise is getting louder.
349
00:16:58,893 --> 00:16:59,894
- Traffic.
350
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:00,729
- Are you sure?
351
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,063
- It's rush hour, baby.
352
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,065
Come on, make me feel like a man.
353
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,900
- Hmm, hold on mister.
354
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,153
Time to put on your party clothes.
355
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:09,571
- What's that?
356
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:10,613
- A condom.
357
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,699
- Oh, my boss has one
of those in Scottsdale.
358
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:13,992
He said I can use it.
359
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,286
- Great, put it on.
360
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:19,330
- But baby, I don't want
anything between us.
361
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:20,832
- Just unroll it.
362
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:29,299
- Oh boy.
363
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:33,887
- What the hell was that?
364
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:35,055
- It slipped.
365
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:39,100
- Morning.
- Morning.
366
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,894
- How'd it go with Cheryl?
367
00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:42,645
- Not good, I had to
rush her to the hospital.
368
00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:44,606
She got some glass in her eye.
369
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,441
- Yeah, that happens.
370
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,070
- Where we goin' tonight?
371
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:51,738
- I'll take you to a great place.
372
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:54,199
I'm taking you where I met Rita.
373
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,409
- Hi, my name is Doreen, I'm an alcoholic.
374
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:57,786
- Hi Doreen.
- Hi.
375
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:01,081
Today marks my 59th day of sobriety.
376
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,002
Thanks, thank you very much.
377
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:08,546
And I celebrated by calling my parents
378
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:12,133
to tell 'em about my engagement to Janice.
379
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:16,012
- Dykes, made popular on television,
380
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:17,806
and now they're everywhere.
381
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:21,643
- Is there anyone else
who would like to share?
382
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:22,560
You.
383
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,691
- Hello, get the bread,
I see something tasty.
384
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:29,484
- Hi.
385
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,153
This is the first time I've
actually gotten up to speak,
386
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:32,987
so I'm--
387
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,239
- Your name, start with your name.
388
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,740
- Oh.
389
00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:38,243
Thanks, of course, I'm sorry.
390
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:39,536
Um, I'm Susan.
391
00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:41,412
- Hi Susan.
- Hi
392
00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:42,413
- Hi Susan.
393
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,668
- Anyway, I'm an alcoholic.
394
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,921
I've been sober a couple of months now.
395
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,716
Oh, thanks, that's okay.
396
00:18:56,928 --> 00:19:00,181
My father was an abusive alcoholic.
397
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:04,269
I guess maybe I'm lucky that
he left when I was seven,
398
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,771
but then my stepfather was an alcoholic,
399
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,482
and so was my second stepfather.
400
00:19:10,525 --> 00:19:12,861
Anyway, I have a history
of picking the wrong men.
401
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:16,030
Big surprise, right?
402
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:19,242
The thing is, I never knew
I had a drinking problem
403
00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:21,828
because, ever since high school,
404
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,164
I've only dated musicians
and they always told me
405
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:25,290
I was a lot of fun.
406
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:27,625
- I like what I'm hearing.
407
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:30,378
- But all that's changed now.
408
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,713
I bottomed out.
409
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,298
- Uh oh.
410
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,633
- I was having fun in uh...
411
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,471
I don't even remember what city.
412
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:41,848
And when I woke up in the morning
413
00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:44,267
I didn't know where I
was or how I got there
414
00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:46,352
or who the guy was that I was with,
415
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:50,190
and I thought I should know
at least one of those things.
416
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:52,525
That's when I came here,
and I stopped putting myself
417
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,904
in situations where I
couldn't respect myself,
418
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,198
so others didn't respect me.
419
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,034
- She wants respect.
420
00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:01,868
Cuts me out.
421
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,037
- Anyway, I took my first step today.
422
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:07,165
I bought a new car,
and it's gonna be great
423
00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:10,001
to get up in the morning and
remember where I parked it.
424
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:12,629
Thanks.
425
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:20,762
- Would
anyone else like to share?
426
00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:26,517
- It's dead tonight.
427
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:27,894
Not a weeper in the joint.
428
00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:28,853
- Weeper?
429
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,647
- Yeah, there's usually one or two gals
430
00:20:30,939 --> 00:20:32,690
get all weepy after the meeting.
431
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:33,608
That's where you clean up.
432
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,986
You go over, offer 'em a
tissue, bang, you're in.
433
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:38,696
You really wanna sell it, yank a nose hair
434
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:39,530
right before you go.
435
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,532
They see the tears, think
you're a kindred spirit,
436
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,534
you are in huge.
437
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,411
Look.
438
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:46,579
Wish me luck.
439
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:49,624
What happened?
440
00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:56,547
- I did so much blow once, I
didn't sleep for three weeks.
441
00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,132
I lost about 15 pounds.
442
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,301
The good thing, I've
been able to keep it off.
443
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:01,135
- Hey!
444
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:02,011
How are you?
445
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:02,971
Remember me from the airplane?
446
00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:04,180
- Oh yeah, of course.
447
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,599
You hit me really hard.
448
00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:07,517
- Bye.
449
00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:10,561
- What are you doing here?
450
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:13,064
- Well, I have a slight problem.
451
00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:14,482
You know how it is with the airlines.
452
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:16,192
You're 30,000 feet in
the air with all those
453
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:17,026
tiny little bottles.
454
00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:18,486
It's really not my fault.
455
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:22,115
- Sure.
456
00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:25,326
- Oh, damn it!
457
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:29,539
Oh, you hit my car,
458
00:21:31,666 --> 00:21:33,251
my new car.
459
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:35,378
I don't believe it!
- What happened?
460
00:21:35,670 --> 00:21:36,713
Oh, don't get excited.
461
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,298
First of all, this isn't new.
462
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:39,382
This is a 98.
463
00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:40,842
I know a guy who's got one of these.
464
00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:42,385
- Hey, it's new to me.
465
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:43,303
Oh god.
466
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:45,388
Look at it.
467
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,140
- Well, I guess we're
gonna both have to drive
468
00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:49,142
a little more carefully.
469
00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:50,935
- I was parked, asshole.
470
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,312
- I don't see a lot of damage here,
471
00:21:52,603 --> 00:21:53,479
so I think I'm gonna run, but--
472
00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,606
- Right, right, I bought it
with a cracked tail light,
473
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:57,525
dented fender package.
474
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,779
I wanna see your drivers
license, your registration,
475
00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:03,072
and your insurance.
476
00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:04,449
- Can't we settle this without bringing
477
00:22:04,741 --> 00:22:06,242
insurance companies into this?
478
00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:07,076
- No.
479
00:22:07,368 --> 00:22:07,994
- Okay.
480
00:22:08,286 --> 00:22:09,829
- And if you try to worm
your way outta this,
481
00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:11,873
I will hunt you down
and cut your heart out
482
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,791
with my hood ornament.
483
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,878
- Have we dated?
484
00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:23,343
- I'm not very good in bed.
485
00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:26,095
- Oh no, you're great.
486
00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:28,264
- No, my boyfriend once said
487
00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:31,476
it was like trying to start a dead car.
488
00:22:31,768 --> 00:22:32,560
- You've gotta help me.
489
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,020
You've got to uncross your legs.
490
00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:35,772
- I told you, I'm not very good in bed.
491
00:22:36,064 --> 00:22:37,315
I'm sorry.
492
00:22:37,607 --> 00:22:39,484
What is that humming sound?
493
00:22:39,776 --> 00:22:42,528
- Oh, I think it's the tendon
in your legs vibrating.
494
00:22:45,198 --> 00:22:45,990
- Oh, you know what?
495
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:48,242
Just, can you, one second.
496
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:53,206
Hello?
497
00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:56,918
Oh, I was just thinking
about you too, Steve.
498
00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:58,294
- Hurry up, we don't
wanna lose our momentum.
499
00:22:58,586 --> 00:22:59,212
- Shh.
500
00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:01,464
Hi.
501
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,176
I miss you too.
502
00:23:05,468 --> 00:23:06,344
Is she there?
503
00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:08,304
Okay, okay.
504
00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:10,139
Bye.
505
00:23:10,431 --> 00:23:12,100
- Ready for more?
506
00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:13,810
- Ugh, I can't do this.
507
00:23:14,102 --> 00:23:16,187
I'm in love with a
married pilot from Dallas.
508
00:23:16,479 --> 00:23:17,146
That's our hub.
509
00:23:17,438 --> 00:23:18,147
- Uh huh.
510
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:20,274
- You know who I really sorry for?
511
00:23:20,566 --> 00:23:21,234
His wife.
512
00:23:21,526 --> 00:23:23,319
He's off cheating on her.
513
00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:24,320
- With you?
514
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:26,823
- Get out.
515
00:23:27,115 --> 00:23:27,657
- What'd I do?
516
00:23:27,949 --> 00:23:29,033
I'm crazy about ya baby.
517
00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:30,535
- Get out!
- You smell nice.
518
00:23:30,827 --> 00:23:32,245
- To think I almost
opened up to you, get out!
519
00:23:32,537 --> 00:23:33,413
- Are those your shoes?
520
00:23:33,704 --> 00:23:34,247
- Out!
521
00:23:34,539 --> 00:23:36,457
- Those are beautiful shoes.
522
00:23:45,967 --> 00:23:47,093
- You're certainly in
a hurry this morning.
523
00:23:47,385 --> 00:23:48,928
Aren't you gonna eat?
524
00:23:50,430 --> 00:23:51,806
- Mmm.
525
00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:53,141
Gotta get to the office.
526
00:23:53,433 --> 00:23:55,435
- You mean you have to get to her?
527
00:23:55,726 --> 00:23:56,811
- What?
528
00:23:57,103 --> 00:23:59,063
- You're having an affair, aren't you?
529
00:23:59,355 --> 00:24:00,398
- What's wrong with you?
530
00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:01,232
- You hate work.
531
00:24:01,524 --> 00:24:02,483
All you talk about is how it bores you,
532
00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:03,734
and suddenly you're rushing out the door
533
00:24:04,026 --> 00:24:04,861
to get to your job.
534
00:24:05,153 --> 00:24:05,862
What's her name?
535
00:24:06,154 --> 00:24:07,405
- I'm not having an affair.
536
00:24:07,697 --> 00:24:09,115
- It's that Pamela person that
works down the hall from you.
537
00:24:09,407 --> 00:24:11,242
I've seen the way she
looks at you, Roland.
538
00:24:11,534 --> 00:24:12,785
The woman is a slut.
539
00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:14,412
- She's in a wheelchair, Nadine.
540
00:24:14,704 --> 00:24:15,913
- Yeah, and don't think
she hasn't played that
541
00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:17,457
for all it's worth.
542
00:24:17,748 --> 00:24:20,251
- Okay, you wanna know what's going on?
543
00:24:20,543 --> 00:24:22,003
You wanna know the truth?
544
00:24:22,295 --> 00:24:24,589
- I think I deserve that much.
545
00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:29,010
- Okay, this is classified so
it's just between you and me.
546
00:24:29,302 --> 00:24:31,345
A couple of days ago on
an Arizona West flight,
547
00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:32,555
there was an incident.
548
00:24:32,847 --> 00:24:34,223
The crew almost lost control.
549
00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:37,643
One of the passengers was shooting video.
550
00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:39,187
I can't believe I'm gonna say this,
551
00:24:39,479 --> 00:24:41,481
but something made
contact with that plane,
552
00:24:41,772 --> 00:24:44,317
and the thing is, Nadine, I
don't have an answer for it.
553
00:24:44,609 --> 00:24:46,652
For the first time in 22 years,
554
00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:49,447
I don't know what the hell happened.
555
00:24:49,739 --> 00:24:53,659
There's somethin' about
that, about the not knowing.
556
00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:58,664
Look at me, I'm gettin'
goosebumps just thinking about it.
557
00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:00,041
It's what I've been waitin' for, babe.
558
00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:02,001
I've been waitin' for this,
and now it's finally come.
559
00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:03,419
You understand what I'm
talkin' about, don't ya?
560
00:25:03,711 --> 00:25:05,505
- Does she have bigger tits than me?
561
00:25:05,796 --> 00:25:07,840
- I'm gonna figure this out.
562
00:25:08,132 --> 00:25:10,801
- I'll take that as a yes.
563
00:25:11,093 --> 00:25:12,136
- I'll be late.
564
00:25:19,769 --> 00:25:22,438
Oh!
565
00:25:30,321 --> 00:25:33,658
- Damn.
566
00:25:43,668 --> 00:25:45,002
- Can I help you?
567
00:25:46,462 --> 00:25:47,922
- I'm looking for Perry.
568
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:49,382
- Oh, you know Perry?
569
00:25:49,674 --> 00:25:51,300
- Yeah, but not too well.
570
00:25:51,592 --> 00:25:52,468
I'm his wife.
571
00:25:53,553 --> 00:25:54,887
- His wife?
572
00:25:55,179 --> 00:25:58,933
Well, Perry's a very
lucky man, if I may say.
573
00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:00,101
- Very lucky.
574
00:26:01,102 --> 00:26:02,770
- Harold Anderson.
575
00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:03,688
- Helen.
576
00:26:04,689 --> 00:26:07,400
He's probably in the vault.
577
00:26:15,658 --> 00:26:18,411
- Excuse me, I'm looking for Perry Gordon.
578
00:26:18,703 --> 00:26:20,746
Do you think it's okay
if I wait in his office?
579
00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:21,831
- Sure, that'll be fine.
580
00:26:22,123 --> 00:26:23,291
- All right, thank you.
- Hi.
581
00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:24,292
- Hi.
582
00:26:24,584 --> 00:26:25,751
Oh, hey.
583
00:26:26,043 --> 00:26:27,420
Were you at the AA meeting last night?
584
00:26:27,712 --> 00:26:28,671
- Yes, I saw you there.
585
00:26:28,963 --> 00:26:30,673
Your speech was very good.
586
00:26:30,965 --> 00:26:31,632
- Thanks.
587
00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:33,426
Do you work here?
588
00:26:33,718 --> 00:26:35,678
- Commercial and home
loans, not too exciting.
589
00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:37,138
Just a normal guy.
590
00:26:37,430 --> 00:26:39,432
- There's nothing wrong with normal.
591
00:26:39,724 --> 00:26:40,850
Do you know where Perry Gordon is?
592
00:26:41,142 --> 00:26:42,184
- Oh, you know Perry?
593
00:26:42,476 --> 00:26:43,102
- Well, no.
594
00:26:43,394 --> 00:26:44,854
He backed into my car last night.
595
00:26:45,146 --> 00:26:46,105
I've got an estimate for him.
596
00:26:46,397 --> 00:26:47,523
Could you give this to him?
597
00:26:47,815 --> 00:26:48,441
- Sure.
598
00:26:50,860 --> 00:26:52,486
You have beautiful handwriting.
599
00:26:52,778 --> 00:26:54,280
- That's the mechanic.
600
00:26:54,572 --> 00:26:55,781
- Oh.
601
00:26:56,073 --> 00:26:57,992
Well, this part down here
where you signed your name,
602
00:26:58,284 --> 00:26:58,909
lovely.
603
00:26:59,869 --> 00:27:02,288
- So, how long you been in the program?
604
00:27:02,580 --> 00:27:03,623
- Program?
- AA.
605
00:27:04,999 --> 00:27:05,916
- Oh, oh that.
606
00:27:06,208 --> 00:27:07,126
No, I'm not involved in the program.
607
00:27:07,418 --> 00:27:08,294
Perry just took me there.
608
00:27:08,586 --> 00:27:10,254
- Oh, so he's in the program?
609
00:27:10,546 --> 00:27:11,589
- Uh, not that I know of.
610
00:27:11,881 --> 00:27:13,674
You know, this would make
fantastic dinner conversation.
611
00:27:13,966 --> 00:27:14,717
Are you doing anything tonight?
612
00:27:15,009 --> 00:27:16,135
- So, what were you doing there, then?
613
00:27:16,427 --> 00:27:17,178
- Just checking it out.
614
00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:19,555
Have you had any chance
to think about dinner yet?
615
00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:21,349
- Oh god, I get it.
616
00:27:21,641 --> 00:27:23,142
You're one of those guys
that goes to AA meetings
617
00:27:23,434 --> 00:27:25,227
to pick up women, that's sick.
618
00:27:25,519 --> 00:27:27,897
How can you take advantage
of people like that?
619
00:27:28,189 --> 00:27:28,773
- Perry took me there.
620
00:27:29,065 --> 00:27:29,857
I had no idea what it was.
621
00:27:30,149 --> 00:27:30,691
How's eight?
622
00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:32,610
- Oh, excuse me, may I?
623
00:27:32,902 --> 00:27:34,862
Here's the estimate, okay?
624
00:27:36,697 --> 00:27:38,240
And I hope the next time
you take one of your
625
00:27:38,532 --> 00:27:39,992
pathetic little jaunts to AA,
626
00:27:40,284 --> 00:27:42,328
you drive a bit more carefully.
627
00:27:42,620 --> 00:27:43,621
- What is she talking about?
628
00:27:43,913 --> 00:27:45,498
- I am as confused as you are, sweetheart.
629
00:27:45,790 --> 00:27:46,457
- Oh come on.
630
00:27:46,749 --> 00:27:49,168
Look, I just put everything
I have into this car.
631
00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:51,504
If you don't wanna go
through your insurance, fine.
632
00:27:51,796 --> 00:27:54,131
Write me a check, I'll wait.
633
00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:56,133
- Is that where you were last night?
634
00:27:56,425 --> 00:27:57,927
That's what you didn't wanna tell me.
635
00:27:58,219 --> 00:27:59,679
You were at an AA meeting?
636
00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:00,638
- Now you know.
637
00:28:00,930 --> 00:28:02,306
I hope you're happy.
638
00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:03,641
You'll get your check.
639
00:28:03,933 --> 00:28:05,101
- But, why couldn't you tell me?
640
00:28:05,393 --> 00:28:07,436
- Because, I wasn't sure
that I was strong enough
641
00:28:07,728 --> 00:28:09,271
to stay committed to the program,
642
00:28:09,563 --> 00:28:12,108
and I didn't wanna disappoint
you if I dropped out.
643
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,402
- Oh baby, I had no idea.
644
00:28:14,694 --> 00:28:18,698
- It's been tough but,
thank god, so far so good.
645
00:28:18,989 --> 00:28:20,282
- That's such a brave thing you're doing.
646
00:28:20,574 --> 00:28:21,909
I can hardly believe it.
647
00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:24,412
- One day at a time,
sugar, one day at a time.
648
00:28:24,704 --> 00:28:25,329
I'll walk ya out.
649
00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:27,164
- You know, I love you so much.
650
00:28:27,456 --> 00:28:28,916
Now that I know, I'm gonna
do everything in my power
651
00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:30,793
to make sure you never take another drink
652
00:28:31,085 --> 00:28:33,045
for the rest of your life.
653
00:28:34,296 --> 00:28:35,214
- Thank you.
654
00:28:37,299 --> 00:28:39,427
- That was his wife?
655
00:28:39,719 --> 00:28:40,720
- Yeah.
656
00:28:41,011 --> 00:28:43,347
- He's married, and he's
going to AA meetings
657
00:28:43,639 --> 00:28:45,015
to pick up women?
658
00:28:45,307 --> 00:28:46,892
What a humongous sleazebag.
659
00:28:47,184 --> 00:28:48,102
Are you married?
- Nope.
660
00:28:48,394 --> 00:28:51,605
So I guess that means we're on for dinner?
661
00:28:51,897 --> 00:28:52,523
- No.
662
00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:55,109
- Nice meeting you.
663
00:29:04,827 --> 00:29:07,204
- What planet are you from?
664
00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:08,581
- What do you mean?
665
00:29:08,873 --> 00:29:10,374
- Well, I guess you really
wanna go out with me.
666
00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:12,835
I say no and you're like,
okay, and that's that.
667
00:29:13,127 --> 00:29:15,004
I mean, put a little effort
into it, why don't you?
668
00:29:15,296 --> 00:29:16,255
- Are you asking me out?
669
00:29:16,547 --> 00:29:18,007
- No, no I'm not asking you out.
670
00:29:18,299 --> 00:29:18,966
Why would you think that?
671
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:21,844
If I was asking a man out, he'd know it.
672
00:29:22,136 --> 00:29:23,471
- Right.
- Yeah.
673
00:29:23,763 --> 00:29:26,807
You know, I have a feeling that you're not
674
00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:28,893
what you appear to be.
675
00:29:29,185 --> 00:29:30,895
- You smell nice.
676
00:29:31,187 --> 00:29:32,271
- Thanks.
677
00:29:32,563 --> 00:29:34,690
Something new, just bought it today.
678
00:29:34,982 --> 00:29:38,611
God, why was it never
this complicated before?
679
00:29:38,903 --> 00:29:39,862
Oh, I know why.
680
00:29:40,154 --> 00:29:41,822
Because before, by now
I'd already be drunk
681
00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:43,199
and in bed with the guy.
682
00:29:43,491 --> 00:29:44,825
- How's six o'clock?
683
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:47,077
- Damn it, fine, anything.
684
00:29:48,204 --> 00:29:49,580
Seven.
685
00:29:49,872 --> 00:29:50,915
6:45?
686
00:29:51,207 --> 00:29:51,832
- Fine.
687
00:30:08,599 --> 00:30:11,519
Tell me something about yourself.
688
00:30:11,811 --> 00:30:15,773
- My name is Harold
Anderson, I work in a bank.
689
00:30:16,065 --> 00:30:16,690
- And?
690
00:30:18,025 --> 00:30:18,818
- More?
691
00:30:19,109 --> 00:30:21,028
- I never met a man
692
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:22,655
that talks less about himself.
693
00:30:22,947 --> 00:30:24,907
Where were you born?
694
00:30:25,199 --> 00:30:26,450
- My turn to ask a question.
695
00:30:26,742 --> 00:30:29,078
What do you do for a living?
696
00:30:29,370 --> 00:30:31,288
- Well, I worked in a
guitar shop for a long time,
697
00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:33,916
but when I got sober I realized
I had to get out of there.
698
00:30:34,208 --> 00:30:36,669
You know, too many negative influences.
699
00:30:36,961 --> 00:30:38,295
- Uh huh, such as?
700
00:30:38,587 --> 00:30:40,881
- Well, musicians for one.
- Uh huh.
701
00:30:41,173 --> 00:30:43,259
- And I think there was a
sign over the door that said
702
00:30:43,551 --> 00:30:45,094
come in and pick up the nearest guitar
703
00:30:45,386 --> 00:30:46,929
and play the beginning
of Stairway to Heaven
704
00:30:47,221 --> 00:30:48,806
as badly as you can.
- Uh huh.
705
00:30:49,098 --> 00:30:51,267
- I mean, I was close to going postal.
706
00:30:51,559 --> 00:30:53,310
- So what are you doing now?
707
00:30:53,602 --> 00:30:57,565
- Well, don't laugh but, I'm
working as a real estate agent.
708
00:30:58,607 --> 00:30:59,567
- Uh huh.
709
00:30:59,859 --> 00:31:02,069
- Yeah.
710
00:31:02,361 --> 00:31:03,612
Yeah, a friend of mine has an office
711
00:31:03,904 --> 00:31:05,197
and she helped me study for my license,
712
00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:07,199
so now I'm out there
trying to sell houses.
713
00:31:07,491 --> 00:31:09,577
- Uh huh, uh huh, how's it going?
714
00:31:09,869 --> 00:31:12,663
- I guess it's okay, but
I'm like six weeks into it
715
00:31:12,955 --> 00:31:14,123
and come to find out
that you don't get paid
716
00:31:14,415 --> 00:31:17,042
until you sell something,
which is like, oh great.
717
00:31:20,462 --> 00:31:22,339
So what exactly is your mission?
718
00:31:24,133 --> 00:31:24,675
- I'm sorry?
719
00:31:24,967 --> 00:31:27,052
- Your mission, in life.
720
00:31:27,344 --> 00:31:29,305
Like my mission is to get to know myself
721
00:31:29,597 --> 00:31:31,932
so that I can actually end
up focusing less on myself
722
00:31:32,224 --> 00:31:33,851
and more on others.
723
00:31:34,143 --> 00:31:35,102
I think.
724
00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:39,398
- I believe I was put here
on earth to have a child.
725
00:31:39,690 --> 00:31:40,316
- Wow.
726
00:31:41,734 --> 00:31:44,987
I've never heard a man say that.
727
00:31:45,279 --> 00:31:47,114
I would love to have kids.
728
00:31:47,406 --> 00:31:49,742
I just hope I'm ready, because you know,
729
00:31:50,034 --> 00:31:51,827
we transfer all our
dysfunction onto our kids
730
00:31:52,119 --> 00:31:53,454
and I don't want to be guilty of that.
731
00:31:53,746 --> 00:31:57,041
I've already totally fucked up my dog.
732
00:32:00,044 --> 00:32:01,587
- I want to have a child.
733
00:32:01,879 --> 00:32:03,464
That's all I want.
734
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,053
- What is that noise?
735
00:32:09,345 --> 00:32:10,888
- Cheap sound system.
736
00:32:13,349 --> 00:32:15,517
- I don't trust you.
737
00:32:15,809 --> 00:32:16,477
- Why?
738
00:32:16,769 --> 00:32:18,270
- Because all men are the same.
739
00:32:18,562 --> 00:32:19,772
They'll say whatever they have to
740
00:32:20,064 --> 00:32:22,149
to get into your pants.
741
00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:23,984
- That's terrible.
742
00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:26,403
But what would it be?
743
00:32:26,695 --> 00:32:27,321
- What?
744
00:32:27,613 --> 00:32:30,324
- The thing I'd have to
say to get into your pants?
745
00:32:37,623 --> 00:32:40,042
- It's a little messy.
746
00:32:40,334 --> 00:32:41,585
- How long you been working on it?
747
00:32:41,877 --> 00:32:43,629
- Oh, just a couple of months but,
748
00:32:43,921 --> 00:32:46,924
I can already tell I'm never gonna stop.
749
00:32:47,216 --> 00:32:48,384
You know, one day I'm happy,
750
00:32:48,676 --> 00:32:51,136
oh, the breakfast nook should
be yellow, bright and sunny.
751
00:32:51,428 --> 00:32:54,181
The next minute I'm
down, I repaint it blue.
752
00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:56,141
It was black a couple of days ago.
753
00:32:56,433 --> 00:32:57,518
- Black breakfast nook?
754
00:32:57,810 --> 00:33:00,145
- Yeah, doesn't work, trust me.
755
00:33:00,437 --> 00:33:03,565
- Why don't you take that
arch thing out altogether?
756
00:33:03,857 --> 00:33:05,234
- That whole thing?
757
00:33:05,526 --> 00:33:06,068
- Why not?
758
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:07,027
I have a feeling that what's out there
759
00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:09,530
is more interesting anyway.
760
00:33:16,996 --> 00:33:18,163
What are these?
761
00:33:20,207 --> 00:33:20,958
- Oh, um,
762
00:33:22,292 --> 00:33:23,752
part of this whole thing that I'm doing,
763
00:33:24,044 --> 00:33:25,212
this whole changing thing.
764
00:33:25,504 --> 00:33:28,048
I'm supposed to turn myself
over to a higher power.
765
00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:30,175
My only problem is, I'm
having a little trouble
766
00:33:30,467 --> 00:33:34,013
choosing one, so I'm just covering my ass.
767
00:33:34,304 --> 00:33:35,055
- Higher power?
768
00:33:35,347 --> 00:33:37,307
- Yeah, god, or whatever
you wanna call it.
769
00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:38,684
I'm looking into each one
770
00:33:38,976 --> 00:33:40,811
until I find the one
that connects with me.
771
00:33:41,103 --> 00:33:41,895
- How will you know?
772
00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:43,897
- I'll just know.
773
00:33:44,189 --> 00:33:44,815
- How?
774
00:33:46,108 --> 00:33:49,528
- Well, I'll feel something, I guess.
775
00:33:49,820 --> 00:33:51,321
- This one looks very old.
776
00:33:51,613 --> 00:33:52,531
- Actually, it's not old.
777
00:33:52,823 --> 00:33:54,575
I got this on QVC.
778
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:57,870
You don't care about this.
779
00:33:58,162 --> 00:33:59,371
You're just tricking me.
780
00:33:59,663 --> 00:34:02,166
- There's no way to
prove that a god exists.
781
00:34:02,458 --> 00:34:03,125
- So?
782
00:34:03,417 --> 00:34:04,960
- So then, why look?
783
00:34:05,252 --> 00:34:06,545
- That's not the point.
784
00:34:06,837 --> 00:34:08,589
- Then what is the point?
785
00:34:08,881 --> 00:34:09,882
- Oh god, I knew it.
786
00:34:10,174 --> 00:34:12,092
I knew this normal guy, normal life thing
787
00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:13,510
had a big catch.
788
00:34:14,511 --> 00:34:17,598
Harold please, Harold, I have to stop.
789
00:34:19,099 --> 00:34:20,934
No, I, I can't do this.
790
00:34:26,482 --> 00:34:27,733
Part of this whole thing,
791
00:34:28,025 --> 00:34:29,485
this whole thing about me changing my life
792
00:34:29,777 --> 00:34:32,529
and living by a different set of rules is,
793
00:34:32,821 --> 00:34:34,948
you're gonna laugh, but
I've actually decided
794
00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:37,826
I'm not gonna have sex
until I get married.
795
00:34:38,118 --> 00:34:38,660
- Sorry?
796
00:34:38,952 --> 00:34:42,915
- You see, I am finally free
not to have to have sex.
797
00:34:44,374 --> 00:34:45,167
- Do you have any water?
798
00:34:45,459 --> 00:34:47,044
Nevermind, I'll help myself.
799
00:34:52,049 --> 00:34:52,841
Thanks for coming.
800
00:34:53,133 --> 00:34:54,635
- I don't understand what
we have to talk about.
801
00:34:54,927 --> 00:34:56,303
Have you gotten a woman pregnant yet?
802
00:34:56,595 --> 00:34:57,679
- I'm very close, but there are variables
803
00:34:57,971 --> 00:34:59,723
the simulator didn't prepare me for.
804
00:35:00,015 --> 00:35:00,599
- I warned you about that.
805
00:35:00,891 --> 00:35:01,433
You're close?
806
00:35:01,725 --> 00:35:03,143
- Yes, but the woman I
have the best chance with
807
00:35:03,435 --> 00:35:05,020
she wants to get married.
808
00:35:05,312 --> 00:35:06,522
- Three billion females on the planet
809
00:35:06,814 --> 00:35:08,398
and you pick one that
wants to get married.
810
00:35:08,690 --> 00:35:09,983
- Yes.
- That is bad luck.
811
00:35:10,275 --> 00:35:11,985
- What should I do?
- Marry her.
812
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:13,362
- But I'm not trained for marriage.
813
00:35:13,654 --> 00:35:14,947
Perry tells me it's a living hell.
814
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:15,823
- Who's Perry?
815
00:35:16,115 --> 00:35:16,782
- This guy at work.
816
00:35:17,074 --> 00:35:18,867
He didn't even think Susan was that hot.
817
00:35:19,159 --> 00:35:19,743
- Who's Susan?
818
00:35:20,035 --> 00:35:21,411
Why is she hot, is she on fire?
819
00:35:21,703 --> 00:35:23,956
- Susan is the woman.
820
00:35:24,248 --> 00:35:24,915
- You know the projections.
821
00:35:25,207 --> 00:35:26,708
Earth probes are at Jupiter right now.
822
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,710
In three generations,
they'll know about us.
823
00:35:29,002 --> 00:35:30,879
Our takeover must be complete by then.
824
00:35:31,171 --> 00:35:33,841
Marry her, impregnate her,
and don't call for me again.
825
00:35:34,133 --> 00:35:35,551
The more we make contact,
the greater the risk
826
00:35:35,843 --> 00:35:37,928
of being discovered.
827
00:35:41,306 --> 00:35:42,474
- Thanks a lot.
828
00:35:44,101 --> 00:35:46,061
- Did you notice anything
unusual about the jolt
829
00:35:46,353 --> 00:35:47,855
that hit the airplane?
830
00:35:48,147 --> 00:35:51,567
- Well, it wasn't like
anything I've ever experienced.
831
00:35:51,859 --> 00:35:53,152
- Did you see anything fly by the aircraft
832
00:35:53,443 --> 00:35:55,195
around the time of the jolt?
833
00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:59,241
- No, I was busy trying to
keep things calm in the cabin.
834
00:35:59,533 --> 00:36:00,450
- A lot of panic?
835
00:36:00,742 --> 00:36:02,578
- You could imagine.
836
00:36:02,870 --> 00:36:04,163
Except for one jerk.
837
00:36:04,454 --> 00:36:05,914
He started hitting on me right after.
838
00:36:06,206 --> 00:36:07,583
He acted like nothing even happened.
839
00:36:07,875 --> 00:36:10,043
Can you believe that?
840
00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:12,671
- Tell me about the guy
that was hitting on you.
841
00:36:12,963 --> 00:36:16,508
- Darn it, I knew I
shouldn't have said anything.
842
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,635
Okay, I went out with a passenger.
843
00:36:18,927 --> 00:36:19,636
I'm guilty.
844
00:36:21,013 --> 00:36:21,680
- Excuse me?
845
00:36:21,972 --> 00:36:23,640
- Listen, I know we're not
supposed to date passengers,
846
00:36:23,932 --> 00:36:26,143
but I met this guy after
the flight at a function.
847
00:36:26,435 --> 00:36:29,396
We went back to my place,
but nothing happened.
848
00:36:29,688 --> 00:36:32,524
- So you first noticed him after the jolt?
849
00:36:32,816 --> 00:36:34,860
- Yes, he was very obnoxious.
850
00:36:35,152 --> 00:36:36,737
- What was he like before the jolt?
851
00:36:37,029 --> 00:36:39,740
- Well, I don't remember
seeing him before the jolt.
852
00:36:40,032 --> 00:36:43,243
- Did you notice anything
peculiar or unusual about him?
853
00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:45,078
- Not really.
854
00:36:45,370 --> 00:36:49,833
Until we got to my place,
then there was something odd.
855
00:36:50,125 --> 00:36:51,001
- Go on.
856
00:36:51,293 --> 00:36:55,214
- Again, nothing happened but,
while we were fooling around
857
00:36:55,505 --> 00:36:58,300
there was this strange humming sound
858
00:36:59,301 --> 00:37:01,053
coming from his pants.
859
00:37:03,805 --> 00:37:06,016
- From the front or the back?
860
00:37:06,308 --> 00:37:08,936
- The front, from the crotch area.
861
00:37:12,147 --> 00:37:14,233
- I don't suppose you remember his name?
862
00:37:14,524 --> 00:37:15,817
- Harold Anderson.
863
00:37:22,366 --> 00:37:25,035
- There was no Harold
Anderson on that flight.
864
00:38:01,822 --> 00:38:03,407
- Oh my god.
865
00:38:11,206 --> 00:38:13,250
- We're going to have a
problem funding your loan
866
00:38:13,542 --> 00:38:14,584
because we did some checking,
867
00:38:14,876 --> 00:38:17,087
and it turns out there's
five frozen yogurt places
868
00:38:17,379 --> 00:38:19,381
right within a one mile radius.
869
00:38:19,673 --> 00:38:20,799
- Hey stranger.
870
00:38:21,091 --> 00:38:22,426
- Hey, it's you.
871
00:38:22,718 --> 00:38:25,345
- I'm thinking about
opening an account here.
872
00:38:25,637 --> 00:38:26,471
- Great.
- Yeah.
873
00:38:26,763 --> 00:38:27,848
I don't have a lot of money.
874
00:38:28,140 --> 00:38:30,559
I have uh, seven dollars and 35 cents.
875
00:38:30,851 --> 00:38:32,436
I'd like to put some of it into a T bill,
876
00:38:32,728 --> 00:38:34,563
some of it into the stock market,
877
00:38:34,855 --> 00:38:37,816
and the rest I'd just like
to save for a rainy day.
878
00:38:38,108 --> 00:38:39,818
- Would you think about marrying me?
879
00:38:41,069 --> 00:38:42,946
- All right, I deserved that.
880
00:38:43,238 --> 00:38:44,072
- No, I'm serious.
881
00:38:44,364 --> 00:38:45,991
I was thinking about what
you said the other night.
882
00:38:46,283 --> 00:38:47,534
- Oh god, everything
I said the other night
883
00:38:47,826 --> 00:38:48,618
was such a turn off.
884
00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:50,454
I went completely overboard.
885
00:38:50,746 --> 00:38:52,039
It was typical Susan.
886
00:38:52,331 --> 00:38:53,832
- You know what?
887
00:38:54,124 --> 00:38:56,251
There was some of that, but,
888
00:38:57,794 --> 00:39:00,589
Susan, what is your last name?
889
00:39:00,881 --> 00:39:02,299
- Um, Hart.
890
00:39:02,591 --> 00:39:06,553
- Susan Hart, would you do
me the honor of marrying me?
891
00:39:09,222 --> 00:39:11,516
- Oh, you're serious.
892
00:39:11,808 --> 00:39:12,851
- I'm serious, Susan
893
00:39:13,143 --> 00:39:13,810
I wanna marry you.
894
00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:15,103
I mean, I could court you for three months
895
00:39:15,395 --> 00:39:16,480
or six months or a year.
896
00:39:16,772 --> 00:39:18,023
We could really get to know each other
897
00:39:18,315 --> 00:39:20,525
and then break up, or,
we could do something
898
00:39:20,817 --> 00:39:23,028
that I think we both want now,
899
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,113
and that's have a child.
900
00:39:27,532 --> 00:39:31,953
- Wow, and I just came
in to ask you to lunch.
901
00:39:32,245 --> 00:39:34,206
You really mean this?
902
00:39:34,498 --> 00:39:35,123
- Yes.
903
00:39:37,334 --> 00:39:38,543
- Can I think about it?
904
00:39:38,835 --> 00:39:41,380
- Well, if you think you have to.
905
00:39:47,094 --> 00:39:47,844
- Oh, hmm.
906
00:39:49,346 --> 00:39:52,224
This room will be perfect for the baby.
907
00:39:52,516 --> 00:39:54,142
- Oh, you have a baby?
908
00:39:54,434 --> 00:39:57,104
- We're having one, in about six months.
909
00:39:57,396 --> 00:40:00,190
- Congratulations, that's wonderful.
910
00:40:02,067 --> 00:40:03,610
I'm sure they'll accept our offer.
911
00:40:03,902 --> 00:40:05,445
You're gonna be very happy here.
912
00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:07,280
- Well thanks for everything,
you've been great.
913
00:40:07,572 --> 00:40:09,449
- We'll talk to you soon.
914
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:13,787
- What?
915
00:40:14,079 --> 00:40:16,039
- Why don't you just fuck
her right in front of me?
916
00:40:16,331 --> 00:40:17,624
- You're never gettin' pregnant again.
917
00:40:17,916 --> 00:40:18,542
Never.
918
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:41,731
- It's insanity.
919
00:40:42,023 --> 00:40:43,817
Come on Suze, you're off the booze,
920
00:40:44,109 --> 00:40:45,152
you're off the musicians,
921
00:40:45,444 --> 00:40:46,653
you're finally free of all that bullshit
922
00:40:46,945 --> 00:40:48,029
and now you wanna get married?
923
00:40:48,321 --> 00:40:49,739
And to a man you barely know?
924
00:40:50,031 --> 00:40:51,199
Don't make me put
together an intervention.
925
00:40:51,491 --> 00:40:52,784
I don't have time for that.
- Thank you.
926
00:40:53,076 --> 00:40:53,618
- Where the hell's the waiter?
927
00:40:53,910 --> 00:40:54,619
- This is Susan's life.
928
00:40:54,911 --> 00:40:55,745
She knows what's best for her.
929
00:40:56,037 --> 00:40:57,831
It's not our place to pass judgement.
930
00:40:58,123 --> 00:40:59,207
- That's right, if she
wants to get married
931
00:40:59,499 --> 00:41:02,294
and make a complete idiot of
herself, then it's her choice.
932
00:41:02,586 --> 00:41:03,670
Is that the waiter, hello?
933
00:41:03,962 --> 00:41:05,380
- No, that's just a gay
guy without a jacket.
934
00:41:05,672 --> 00:41:06,673
- Why is getting married a bad choice?
935
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:07,924
- Oh please.
- Oh come on,
936
00:41:08,216 --> 00:41:09,426
she doesn't even know the man.
937
00:41:09,718 --> 00:41:10,802
- Well, there is something to be said
938
00:41:11,094 --> 00:41:13,555
for going to the end of the
diving board and jumping off.
939
00:41:13,847 --> 00:41:14,806
I mean, life is short.
940
00:41:15,098 --> 00:41:16,141
- Yeah, until you marry the wrong guy
941
00:41:16,433 --> 00:41:17,559
and then it gets pretty goddamn long.
942
00:41:17,851 --> 00:41:18,393
- Amen.
943
00:41:18,685 --> 00:41:19,394
- You know, I am almost
completely dehydrated.
944
00:41:19,686 --> 00:41:20,812
- Well, what do you wanna do, Susan?
945
00:41:21,104 --> 00:41:22,105
I mean, what are you feeling?
946
00:41:22,397 --> 00:41:23,815
- I can tell you exactly
what she's thinking.
947
00:41:24,107 --> 00:41:25,442
She thinks being single is great,
948
00:41:25,734 --> 00:41:26,693
but then she goes out onto the street
949
00:41:26,985 --> 00:41:27,944
or she goes into people's homes,
950
00:41:28,236 --> 00:41:29,863
and then she just sees
these babies everywhere.
951
00:41:30,155 --> 00:41:30,697
- They're taking over.
952
00:41:30,989 --> 00:41:32,073
- I used to think the very same thing,
953
00:41:32,365 --> 00:41:34,367
and then I would look
at those little shits
954
00:41:34,659 --> 00:41:35,827
and it would make me so angry
955
00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:37,746
because it looks like they're
taunting you by saying,
956
00:41:38,038 --> 00:41:39,498
"Why don't you have one of me yet?
957
00:41:39,789 --> 00:41:41,583
"Why are you such a big a loser?"
958
00:41:41,875 --> 00:41:42,918
- You don't like my baby?
959
00:41:43,210 --> 00:41:44,294
- Liz, your baby's adorable.
960
00:41:44,586 --> 00:41:45,420
- As soon as her head gets normal,
961
00:41:45,712 --> 00:41:46,755
she's gonna be gorgeous, Liz.
962
00:41:47,047 --> 00:41:48,298
- Her head is normal.
963
00:41:48,590 --> 00:41:49,174
- I'm kidding.
964
00:41:49,466 --> 00:41:50,509
- Now wait just a minute, I wanna find out
965
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:51,968
more about this guy.
966
00:41:52,260 --> 00:41:52,886
Is he rich?
967
00:41:53,178 --> 00:41:54,888
- You can't ask that.
- Why not?
968
00:41:55,180 --> 00:41:57,140
- Because,
she doesn't know, okay?
969
00:41:57,432 --> 00:41:59,059
And how can you have a child with a man
970
00:41:59,351 --> 00:42:00,477
that you don't even know?
971
00:42:00,769 --> 00:42:02,562
- Excuse me, you
were artificially inseminated,
972
00:42:02,854 --> 00:42:03,396
remember?
973
00:42:03,688 --> 00:42:05,440
- Yes I was,
but I knew the technician
974
00:42:05,732 --> 00:42:07,776
longer than she's known this guy.
975
00:42:08,068 --> 00:42:09,319
- I'm out of time.
976
00:42:09,611 --> 00:42:12,030
- Oh, do you really have to go?
977
00:42:12,322 --> 00:42:13,532
- No.
978
00:42:13,823 --> 00:42:15,909
I'm running out of time.
979
00:42:16,201 --> 00:42:17,369
- No, I think that would be great.
980
00:42:17,661 --> 00:42:18,745
I'm looking forward to it.
981
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,666
Oh, hold on, someone's on the other line.
982
00:42:22,958 --> 00:42:23,500
Hello?
983
00:42:23,792 --> 00:42:24,584
- Hi, Harold?
984
00:42:24,876 --> 00:42:25,961
It's me.
985
00:42:26,253 --> 00:42:26,878
- Hey me.
986
00:42:28,672 --> 00:42:29,422
- Yes.
987
00:42:30,924 --> 00:42:32,342
The answer is yes.
988
00:42:33,635 --> 00:42:34,970
I will marry you.
989
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:38,139
- Hold on a second.
990
00:42:41,518 --> 00:42:42,811
Uh Debbie, listen, I'm not gonna be able
991
00:42:43,103 --> 00:42:45,313
to go rollerblading with
you this weekend after all.
992
00:42:45,605 --> 00:42:47,357
I'm getting married, bye.
993
00:42:47,649 --> 00:42:51,987
I'm back, Mrs. Anderson.
994
00:42:52,279 --> 00:42:54,656
- I like the sound of that.
995
00:42:54,948 --> 00:42:55,574
- Me too.
996
00:42:56,783 --> 00:42:57,576
You sure you don't mind?
997
00:42:57,867 --> 00:42:59,327
- No, no, no, I'll handle
it, is this everything?
998
00:42:59,619 --> 00:43:00,662
- Yeah, this is all of my
work for the next week,
999
00:43:00,954 --> 00:43:02,038
so if any of my clients call you,
1000
00:43:02,330 --> 00:43:03,790
you'll have all their information.
1001
00:43:04,082 --> 00:43:04,791
- You are fast, man.
1002
00:43:05,083 --> 00:43:05,834
I didn't even know you were doing her.
1003
00:43:06,126 --> 00:43:07,127
- I'm not.
1004
00:43:07,419 --> 00:43:10,213
- You're marrying a woman
you've never had sex with?
1005
00:43:10,505 --> 00:43:11,256
Are you insane?
1006
00:43:11,548 --> 00:43:12,757
Didn't you see the crying game?
1007
00:43:13,049 --> 00:43:14,217
You think she's got the
goods under her skirt,
1008
00:43:14,509 --> 00:43:16,344
you lift it up, it's Oscar Meyer time.
1009
00:43:16,636 --> 00:43:17,178
Really.
1010
00:43:17,470 --> 00:43:18,930
Oh my god, is this your
third quarter report?
1011
00:43:19,222 --> 00:43:21,558
- Yeah, Fisk won't need
this 'til I get back.
1012
00:43:21,850 --> 00:43:23,101
- Damn it.
- What?
1013
00:43:23,393 --> 00:43:24,477
- Let's go.
1014
00:43:24,769 --> 00:43:26,313
Listen to me, what am
I talking about here?
1015
00:43:26,605 --> 00:43:27,314
I'm such a downer.
1016
00:43:27,606 --> 00:43:29,566
Imagine not banging your
wife until you're married.
1017
00:43:29,858 --> 00:43:30,734
How romantic is that?
1018
00:43:31,026 --> 00:43:31,568
- Right.
1019
00:43:31,860 --> 00:43:32,902
- You have a great wedding.
1020
00:43:33,194 --> 00:43:33,987
Everything will work out fine.
1021
00:43:34,279 --> 00:43:35,947
Not that that's ever
happened, I'm kidding.
1022
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:37,032
Congratulations.
1023
00:43:37,324 --> 00:43:38,825
- Hey, thanks again for doing this.
1024
00:43:39,117 --> 00:43:41,119
- Go get her, tiger.
1025
00:43:56,468 --> 00:43:58,303
- I promise to respect you,
1026
00:43:58,595 --> 00:44:01,806
even if I don't always understand you.
1027
00:44:02,098 --> 00:44:05,393
Um, I will honor you and take care of you,
1028
00:44:06,603 --> 00:44:08,563
and though it's not politically correct,
1029
00:44:08,855 --> 00:44:12,484
I will obey you as long as
your request is reasonable.
1030
00:44:12,776 --> 00:44:15,403
I will be mother to your children,
1031
00:44:16,529 --> 00:44:19,449
and love you until death do us part.
1032
00:44:20,784 --> 00:44:21,701
- Very nice.
1033
00:44:22,702 --> 00:44:23,745
Harold?
1034
00:44:24,037 --> 00:44:24,579
- Present.
1035
00:44:24,871 --> 00:44:26,873
- No, your vows are next.
1036
00:44:27,165 --> 00:44:31,127
- This is
where they all get nervous.
1037
00:44:34,923 --> 00:44:38,510
- Susan, I'm so happy
we're getting married.
1038
00:44:42,055 --> 00:44:43,431
- Well, you know what they say.
1039
00:44:43,723 --> 00:44:45,433
Sometimes less is more.
1040
00:44:46,976 --> 00:44:49,896
Harold and Susan, by
the powers granted in me
1041
00:44:50,188 --> 00:44:51,564
by the state of Nevada,
1042
00:44:51,856 --> 00:44:54,734
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
1043
00:44:56,361 --> 00:44:58,196
You can kiss the bride.
1044
00:45:16,506 --> 00:45:18,299
- Oh, oh Harold!
1045
00:46:14,439 --> 00:46:16,065
- Stop, stop.
1046
00:46:16,357 --> 00:46:18,860
I never thought I'd say this,
but I can't take it anymore.
1047
00:46:19,152 --> 00:46:20,445
- A few more times.
- No.
1048
00:46:20,737 --> 00:46:21,821
Where did you learn that?
1049
00:46:22,113 --> 00:46:22,655
- Learn what?
1050
00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:23,990
- You're amazing.
1051
00:46:24,282 --> 00:46:25,450
I've had so many orgasms.
1052
00:46:25,742 --> 00:46:28,620
Some are still stacked up waiting to land.
1053
00:46:28,912 --> 00:46:29,996
Aren't you tired?
1054
00:46:30,288 --> 00:46:31,331
- Tired of waiting.
1055
00:46:31,623 --> 00:46:33,249
Come on, let's get it on.
1056
00:46:33,541 --> 00:46:34,417
- Let's talk.
1057
00:46:35,794 --> 00:46:36,544
- Okay.
1058
00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:42,509
- I loved our
wedding, but I still wish
1059
00:46:42,801 --> 00:46:44,928
we'd gotten married in a
church with a lot of people.
1060
00:46:45,220 --> 00:46:47,430
I always dreamed our wedding like that.
1061
00:46:47,722 --> 00:46:48,348
- Me too.
1062
00:46:49,724 --> 00:46:50,725
- Stop, stop.
1063
00:46:54,354 --> 00:46:56,397
I thought we'd take one
of those helicopter trips
1064
00:46:56,689 --> 00:46:57,982
over Hoover dam or something.
1065
00:46:58,274 --> 00:46:59,275
- When we could be making love?
1066
00:46:59,567 --> 00:47:01,069
- Harold, I need a break.
1067
00:47:01,361 --> 00:47:03,613
We've been screwing for 21 hours non-stop.
1068
00:47:03,905 --> 00:47:04,823
- We've had room service.
1069
00:47:05,114 --> 00:47:06,616
- We did it while I ate.
1070
00:47:06,908 --> 00:47:07,867
If I'd known that was gonna happen,
1071
00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:09,410
I wouldn't have ordered the soup.
1072
00:47:09,702 --> 00:47:10,703
- You know, this is what I heard happens
1073
00:47:10,995 --> 00:47:13,122
after you get married, the
woman loses interest in sex.
1074
00:47:13,414 --> 00:47:15,792
- Harold, I love sex with you but,
1075
00:47:16,084 --> 00:47:18,419
I wanna do something that involves,
1076
00:47:18,711 --> 00:47:20,672
oh I don't know, standing.
1077
00:47:22,131 --> 00:47:25,593
Let's do some goofy tourist thing.
1078
00:47:25,885 --> 00:47:27,136
- Like what?
1079
00:47:33,977 --> 00:47:35,270
- So, back to the room then?
1080
00:47:45,321 --> 00:47:46,656
- Knock knock.
1081
00:47:46,948 --> 00:47:50,410
- Perry, I am very
impressed with this work.
1082
00:47:51,578 --> 00:47:52,579
- Thank you.
1083
00:47:52,871 --> 00:47:54,122
- Not only have you done your work,
1084
00:47:54,414 --> 00:47:55,999
but it looks like you've
done Anderson's work as well,
1085
00:47:56,291 --> 00:47:58,042
because this third quarter
report is brilliant.
1086
00:47:58,334 --> 00:47:59,377
I didn't know you had it in ya.
1087
00:47:59,669 --> 00:48:01,880
- Well, now you do, and I hope
you'll keep that in mind sir
1088
00:48:02,171 --> 00:48:05,091
when you're picking a new
vice president for this bank.
1089
00:48:05,383 --> 00:48:06,009
- Well I have to admit that Harold
1090
00:48:06,301 --> 00:48:07,302
had the inside track but--
1091
00:48:07,594 --> 00:48:11,139
- You know, I don't know
if I trust Anderson.
1092
00:48:11,431 --> 00:48:13,474
It's strange, but what kinda guy
1093
00:48:13,766 --> 00:48:16,728
marries a chick after one date?
1094
00:48:17,020 --> 00:48:18,646
Smell some sorta weird cult thing.
1095
00:48:18,938 --> 00:48:22,400
I mean, I've no
facts at all to back that up,
1096
00:48:22,692 --> 00:48:25,111
but they show up dead with 30
or 40 of their best friends,
1097
00:48:25,403 --> 00:48:26,905
then we'll know for sure.
1098
00:48:27,196 --> 00:48:28,323
- Well, I'm sure he's not--
1099
00:48:28,615 --> 00:48:30,825
- And not to tell tales,
but he is kinda lazy,
1100
00:48:31,117 --> 00:48:32,118
except for when you're around.
1101
00:48:32,410 --> 00:48:33,494
The rest of the time he sits around here
1102
00:48:33,786 --> 00:48:35,330
talking about his time spent in prison.
1103
00:48:35,622 --> 00:48:36,539
Ah, wasn't even supposed to mention that.
1104
00:48:36,831 --> 00:48:38,124
- I'm back.
- Oh!
1105
00:48:38,416 --> 00:48:39,042
- Harold, hello.
1106
00:48:39,334 --> 00:48:41,085
- Hey, buddy, how was the honeymoon?
1107
00:48:41,377 --> 00:48:42,337
- Good, great.
1108
00:48:43,254 --> 00:48:44,130
- How was Vegas?
1109
00:48:44,422 --> 00:48:45,006
Eh, nevermind.
1110
00:48:45,298 --> 00:48:47,175
How many times you bang the wifey?
1111
00:48:47,467 --> 00:48:48,551
- 126.
1112
00:48:53,598 --> 00:48:55,433
- Come on, how many?
1113
00:48:55,725 --> 00:48:56,434
- 126, why?
1114
00:48:58,019 --> 00:48:59,646
- Are you serious?
1115
00:48:59,938 --> 00:49:01,147
126 times in a week?
1116
00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:05,068
- Harold, there's a Mr.
Roland Jones here to see you.
1117
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:06,152
- Excuse me.
1118
00:49:08,571 --> 00:49:11,324
- I thought you said he was lazy?
1119
00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:23,252
- Hi, Harold Anderson.
1120
00:49:23,544 --> 00:49:24,420
- Roland Jones.
1121
00:49:24,712 --> 00:49:25,546
- Have a seat.
- Thank you.
1122
00:49:25,838 --> 00:49:27,173
I won't take up much of your time.
1123
00:49:27,465 --> 00:49:29,425
I'm with the Federal Aviation Authority.
1124
00:49:29,717 --> 00:49:31,386
- Oh, don't tell me the
government needs a loan.
1125
00:49:32,929 --> 00:49:33,888
- That's another story.
1126
00:49:34,180 --> 00:49:36,391
Maybe you can help me out here.
1127
00:49:36,683 --> 00:49:39,185
You were on an Arizona
West flight from Seattle
1128
00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:40,979
a couple of weeks ago, were you not?
1129
00:49:41,270 --> 00:49:41,813
- I believe I was.
1130
00:49:42,105 --> 00:49:44,482
I'd have to check my date
planner, I do a lot of flying.
1131
00:49:44,774 --> 00:49:46,067
- Well let me help to
remind you of the flight.
1132
00:49:46,359 --> 00:49:48,653
The plane experienced a
severe episode of turbulence
1133
00:49:48,945 --> 00:49:50,613
that frightened a lot of the passengers.
1134
00:49:50,905 --> 00:49:53,074
- Well, I don't remember
it being that scary.
1135
00:49:53,366 --> 00:49:54,951
I remember a small bump and then,
1136
00:49:55,243 --> 00:49:56,327
was there something mechanically wrong
1137
00:49:56,619 --> 00:49:58,204
with the plane that caused that?
1138
00:49:58,496 --> 00:49:59,455
- Do you still have your ticket?
1139
00:49:59,747 --> 00:50:00,373
It would really be a help.
1140
00:50:00,665 --> 00:50:02,709
- I wish I did, I throw
all that stuff out.
1141
00:50:03,001 --> 00:50:03,918
- You don't save it for the records?
1142
00:50:04,210 --> 00:50:05,545
- No, don't keep records.
1143
00:50:05,837 --> 00:50:06,379
Don't tell my boss.
1144
00:50:06,671 --> 00:50:07,922
I could win a Pulitzer Prize for fiction
1145
00:50:08,214 --> 00:50:10,508
for some of my expense reports.
1146
00:50:14,470 --> 00:50:16,764
- I won't waste anymore of your time.
1147
00:50:17,056 --> 00:50:19,684
Woops, a little light reading.
1148
00:50:19,976 --> 00:50:23,938
Have you seen this
month's issue of Playboy?
1149
00:50:24,230 --> 00:50:26,566
Check out this month's Playmate.
1150
00:50:26,858 --> 00:50:30,236
Tell me if you think
those babies are real.
1151
00:50:45,084 --> 00:50:47,420
- I think those are real.
1152
00:50:47,712 --> 00:50:48,337
- Me too.
1153
00:50:49,505 --> 00:50:50,840
I'll be in touch.
1154
00:50:55,636 --> 00:50:56,387
- God.
1155
00:50:59,932 --> 00:51:01,976
- Okay, so, where are the pictures?
1156
00:51:02,268 --> 00:51:02,894
- Pictures?
1157
00:51:03,186 --> 00:51:04,145
- Of the honeymoon.
1158
00:51:04,437 --> 00:51:05,772
As my friend you have a moral obligation
1159
00:51:06,064 --> 00:51:07,523
to bore the shit out of me
with your honeymoon pictures.
1160
00:51:07,815 --> 00:51:08,649
- Well, I don't have any.
1161
00:51:08,941 --> 00:51:10,359
- Oh come on, you didn't
take any pictures?
1162
00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:13,071
- No, I took some, but I wanted
to get the roll filled up
1163
00:51:13,362 --> 00:51:14,489
before I had it processed.
1164
00:51:14,781 --> 00:51:16,115
- Okay wait, you took less than one roll
1165
00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:17,825
of pictures on your honeymoon?
1166
00:51:18,117 --> 00:51:19,368
- Yeah.
- What is that?
1167
00:51:19,660 --> 00:51:22,580
- I guess she was kept
busy doing other things.
1168
00:51:22,872 --> 00:51:24,373
- You could say that.
1169
00:51:28,002 --> 00:51:29,504
It was pretty great.
1170
00:51:29,796 --> 00:51:32,673
- I'll bet, I'll bet, I'll bet.
1171
00:51:32,965 --> 00:51:34,175
- There's just one thing.
1172
00:51:34,467 --> 00:51:36,385
- Yes well, there's always one thing.
1173
00:51:36,677 --> 00:51:37,804
- Now I don't know how serious this is
1174
00:51:38,096 --> 00:51:40,556
or if I should be worried but...
1175
00:51:41,766 --> 00:51:42,433
- What?
1176
00:51:42,725 --> 00:51:45,019
- Well, how should I put this?
1177
00:51:47,063 --> 00:51:50,149
When he's aroused, his penis vibrates.
1178
00:51:52,151 --> 00:51:54,445
- Hey, two, two, two mints in one.
1179
00:51:54,737 --> 00:51:56,697
- Wait a second, what
do you mean it vibrates?
1180
00:51:56,989 --> 00:51:58,491
- Vibrates is not really the word.
1181
00:51:58,783 --> 00:52:02,245
It's more like a, there's a humming sound.
1182
00:52:02,537 --> 00:52:03,704
- Humming.
1183
00:52:03,996 --> 00:52:05,248
Hey, I was with a black guy once
1184
00:52:05,540 --> 00:52:07,375
and his penis whistled
when he got excited.
1185
00:52:07,667 --> 00:52:08,459
- Oh stop it.
1186
00:52:08,751 --> 00:52:09,335
It did not.
1187
00:52:09,627 --> 00:52:10,711
- What did it whistle?
1188
00:52:11,003 --> 00:52:12,046
- The score from Guys and Dolls.
1189
00:52:12,338 --> 00:52:13,714
It just whistled, isn't that enough?
1190
00:52:14,006 --> 00:52:14,799
- You would ask that.
1191
00:52:15,091 --> 00:52:17,343
- Every time we had sex, I
thought I was making tea.
1192
00:52:17,635 --> 00:52:18,928
- I love it, I love it.
1193
00:52:20,888 --> 00:52:23,349
- Hi honey, you're home, hi.
1194
00:52:23,641 --> 00:52:24,767
You remember the girls.
1195
00:52:25,059 --> 00:52:25,810
- Yes, hello.
1196
00:52:26,102 --> 00:52:26,894
- Oh, hello.
1197
00:52:34,861 --> 00:52:35,611
Showtime.
1198
00:52:41,492 --> 00:52:43,995
- I guess you don't like my friends.
1199
00:52:44,287 --> 00:52:46,122
- Why do you say that?
1200
00:52:46,414 --> 00:52:48,249
- Well, you barely acknowledged them.
1201
00:52:48,541 --> 00:52:49,667
What's the problem?
1202
00:52:49,959 --> 00:52:52,837
- I don't know, they're your friends.
1203
00:52:53,963 --> 00:52:55,131
- What's wrong?
1204
00:52:56,632 --> 00:52:57,383
- Nothing.
1205
00:52:58,718 --> 00:53:00,094
I had a bad day at work.
1206
00:53:00,386 --> 00:53:02,597
- Oh, you wanna talk about it?
1207
00:53:02,889 --> 00:53:03,514
- Well...
1208
00:53:04,849 --> 00:53:06,726
Have you taken the pregnancy test yet?
1209
00:53:07,018 --> 00:53:08,853
- No, but I'll take another
one in a couple of days.
1210
00:53:09,145 --> 00:53:13,566
Harold, you're not even looking
at me when I talk to you.
1211
00:53:13,858 --> 00:53:15,067
Okay, you're looking at me
1212
00:53:15,359 --> 00:53:17,153
but you're not really looking at me.
1213
00:53:17,445 --> 00:53:20,489
- I'm looking right at you
and listening, I swear.
1214
00:53:20,781 --> 00:53:21,991
- Oh, I'm sorry.
1215
00:53:22,283 --> 00:53:24,869
It's probably not you, it's probably me.
1216
00:53:25,161 --> 00:53:27,163
Can we just try to have a conversation?
1217
00:53:28,789 --> 00:53:31,125
Oh Christ, turn that thing off.
1218
00:53:57,151 --> 00:53:58,861
- Maybe you
should pee on it again.
1219
00:53:59,153 --> 00:54:01,030
- You pee on it, I'm done.
1220
00:54:01,322 --> 00:54:02,531
- I just wanna know for sure.
1221
00:54:02,823 --> 00:54:03,699
- You know, I'm starting to feel like
1222
00:54:03,991 --> 00:54:05,993
I'd be worth nothing to
you if I couldn't conceive.
1223
00:54:06,285 --> 00:54:07,536
I mean, what if I can't have a baby?
1224
00:54:07,828 --> 00:54:09,080
Do you ever think about that?
- You can have a baby.
1225
00:54:09,372 --> 00:54:12,124
- I led a pretty wild life,
all that sex and drinking.
1226
00:54:12,416 --> 00:54:13,626
You know, maybe I can't conceive.
1227
00:54:13,918 --> 00:54:16,045
- How much sex and drinking?
- That's not the point.
1228
00:54:16,337 --> 00:54:17,380
- Well you brought it up.
1229
00:54:17,672 --> 00:54:19,090
How would we know for sure?
1230
00:54:19,382 --> 00:54:19,924
- I don't know.
1231
00:54:20,216 --> 00:54:21,467
I'd have to have an exam.
1232
00:54:21,759 --> 00:54:24,679
- Well let's call and schedule something.
1233
00:54:24,971 --> 00:54:26,764
- I have to talk to you.
1234
00:54:33,896 --> 00:54:34,772
- What?
1235
00:54:35,064 --> 00:54:35,648
- Nothing.
1236
00:54:35,940 --> 00:54:38,150
- You said you wanted to talk.
1237
00:54:38,442 --> 00:54:39,735
- I changed my mind.
1238
00:54:40,027 --> 00:54:40,653
- Okay.
1239
00:54:41,654 --> 00:54:43,990
- Harold, what are you thinking?
1240
00:54:44,282 --> 00:54:45,616
- Who?
- You.
1241
00:54:45,908 --> 00:54:48,786
What are you thinking right now?
1242
00:54:49,078 --> 00:54:50,788
- Uh, I don't remember.
1243
00:54:52,164 --> 00:54:54,083
- Look, it's not like the
world is gonna stop spinning
1244
00:54:54,375 --> 00:54:56,585
if I can't have a child, you know.
1245
00:54:56,877 --> 00:54:59,880
I mean, there's such a thing as adoption.
1246
00:55:00,172 --> 00:55:02,425
That's a viable alternative.
1247
00:55:02,717 --> 00:55:04,677
What are you thinking now?
1248
00:55:06,220 --> 00:55:07,638
- I'm thinking that you're telling me
1249
00:55:07,930 --> 00:55:09,432
you can't have a baby.
1250
00:55:09,724 --> 00:55:11,225
- Is that all you're thinking?
1251
00:55:11,517 --> 00:55:12,560
- Let me think.
1252
00:55:13,561 --> 00:55:14,312
Yeah.
1253
00:55:16,105 --> 00:55:17,523
- I wanna have a child.
1254
00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:20,067
You know, I'm as in to
having a child as you are,
1255
00:55:20,359 --> 00:55:22,862
but I'm getting this vibe from you,
1256
00:55:23,154 --> 00:55:25,531
this vibe that says, I don't know,
1257
00:55:25,823 --> 00:55:27,908
I'm holding out on you or I don't want it
1258
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:29,368
as much as you do.
1259
00:55:29,660 --> 00:55:33,080
Well, whether I can have
a child or if I can't,
1260
00:55:33,372 --> 00:55:36,375
there has to be more to this relationship.
1261
00:55:36,667 --> 00:55:39,003
Like, for instance,
maybe some communication
1262
00:55:39,295 --> 00:55:43,215
and a little feeling, which
is not what I'm getting.
1263
00:55:45,051 --> 00:55:46,594
I suggest you start opening up here
1264
00:55:46,886 --> 00:55:49,430
and stop pressuring me about the baby,
1265
00:55:49,722 --> 00:55:51,891
because at this point
I'm ready to buy a baby
1266
00:55:52,183 --> 00:55:54,060
and shove it up your ass.
1267
00:56:01,067 --> 00:56:03,819
This might be a good
time to sit next to me
1268
00:56:04,111 --> 00:56:05,738
and try to comfort me.
1269
00:56:16,999 --> 00:56:21,087
You might wanna consider
putting your arm around me.
1270
00:56:29,887 --> 00:56:33,391
You should try to put
some feeling into it.
1271
00:56:36,644 --> 00:56:38,646
Not that kind of feeling!
1272
00:56:40,231 --> 00:56:41,690
Jesus, Harold.
1273
00:56:41,982 --> 00:56:44,360
At times like this I feel
like I don't even know you.
1274
00:56:44,652 --> 00:56:45,611
- Well you don't.
1275
00:56:45,903 --> 00:56:47,696
Maybe that's why you're
having that feeling.
1276
00:56:47,988 --> 00:56:48,656
- What?
1277
00:56:48,948 --> 00:56:51,909
- You don't really know me, you don't.
1278
00:56:53,786 --> 00:56:55,162
I don't know what to say.
1279
00:56:55,454 --> 00:56:56,705
- Why don't you just try talking to me
1280
00:56:56,997 --> 00:56:58,374
like a human being.
1281
00:57:06,257 --> 00:57:08,175
- I have to take a little walk.
1282
00:57:08,467 --> 00:57:10,177
I'll be right back.
1283
00:57:12,471 --> 00:57:13,681
- Why are you drinking?
1284
00:57:13,973 --> 00:57:14,932
- You gotta get me outta this.
1285
00:57:15,224 --> 00:57:15,850
You know, when we met, she liked it
1286
00:57:16,142 --> 00:57:17,101
that I didn't talk about myself.
1287
00:57:17,393 --> 00:57:18,394
Now she wants to know every damn thing
1288
00:57:18,686 --> 00:57:19,770
I'm thinking and feeling.
1289
00:57:20,062 --> 00:57:21,647
- Who?
- Susan, the wife.
1290
00:57:21,939 --> 00:57:22,773
It's a living hell.
1291
00:57:23,065 --> 00:57:24,817
And this guy, Perry, at work, he turned in
1292
00:57:25,109 --> 00:57:27,445
my third quarter report and
claimed the work was his own.
1293
00:57:27,736 --> 00:57:28,946
What if he gets that promotion?
1294
00:57:29,238 --> 00:57:31,907
I am this close to taking off
the penis and coming home.
1295
00:57:32,199 --> 00:57:32,992
- You will do no such thing.
1296
00:57:33,284 --> 00:57:35,202
Your penis is staying right where it is.
1297
00:57:35,494 --> 00:57:36,412
How's it working, by the way?
1298
00:57:36,704 --> 00:57:38,414
- Oh, it's a major pain in the ass.
1299
00:57:38,706 --> 00:57:39,832
- They installed it too far back?
1300
00:57:40,124 --> 00:57:41,208
- No, it hums.
1301
00:57:41,500 --> 00:57:42,710
- I'll have them work on it.
1302
00:57:43,002 --> 00:57:44,628
That's why you're here, so
we can make adjustments.
1303
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:46,922
- She thinks she might not
even be able to have a baby.
1304
00:57:47,214 --> 00:57:47,756
Isn't that great?
1305
00:57:48,048 --> 00:57:49,675
What am I supposed to do
if she can't have a child?
1306
00:57:49,967 --> 00:57:52,136
- I've got four million men
waiting for you to succeed.
1307
00:57:52,428 --> 00:57:53,345
If this woman can't have a baby,
1308
00:57:53,637 --> 00:57:55,347
find someone who can and get her pregnant.
1309
00:57:55,639 --> 00:57:57,975
- All right, I'll cheat on my wife.
1310
00:57:58,267 --> 00:57:59,935
- I don't know what that means.
1311
00:58:00,227 --> 00:58:03,022
I want you to complete your mission.
1312
00:58:04,648 --> 00:58:07,401
- Fine, I'll get someone else pregnant.
1313
00:58:07,693 --> 00:58:09,278
- Stop drinking.
1314
00:58:09,570 --> 00:58:11,530
And don't worry, I'll get
on your penis right away.
1315
00:58:11,822 --> 00:58:14,074
- Oh, could you say that a little louder?
1316
00:58:15,367 --> 00:58:17,077
- Just put it in
triplicate, give it to him.
1317
00:58:17,369 --> 00:58:18,829
Wait, hang on.
1318
00:58:19,121 --> 00:58:20,080
Hang on!
1319
00:58:20,372 --> 00:58:21,248
Hello?
1320
00:58:21,540 --> 00:58:24,376
Yeah, Randy just talk, I can hear ya.
1321
00:58:25,961 --> 00:58:27,296
Arizona West 771?
1322
00:58:28,339 --> 00:58:30,174
The same kind of jolt?
1323
00:58:30,466 --> 00:58:32,426
How many jolts were there?
1324
00:58:33,886 --> 00:58:35,137
Okay listen, listen to me.
1325
00:58:35,429 --> 00:58:37,598
Do you have a passenger list there?
1326
00:58:37,890 --> 00:58:38,432
Okay.
1327
00:58:38,724 --> 00:58:42,019
Is there a Harold Anderson on board?
1328
00:58:42,311 --> 00:58:44,730
There is?
1329
00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:46,315
What a coincidence.
1330
00:58:48,442 --> 00:58:50,152
- I'm an alien from another planet.
1331
00:58:50,444 --> 00:58:53,072
- Really?
1332
00:58:53,364 --> 00:58:56,575
- Yeah, somewhere way the hell out there.
1333
00:58:57,743 --> 00:59:00,829
- How come you don't
have a head like a pear
1334
00:59:01,121 --> 00:59:02,414
with the big eyes?
1335
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,002
- Well you know, there's a lotta aliens.
1336
00:59:07,294 --> 00:59:09,004
We're not the only ones.
1337
00:59:09,296 --> 00:59:11,048
Those guys with the big heads scare me.
1338
00:59:11,340 --> 00:59:13,050
I wouldn't wanna bump into one of them.
1339
00:59:13,342 --> 00:59:15,594
I hear they perform those anal probes.
1340
00:59:15,886 --> 00:59:17,304
How primitive is that technology?
1341
00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:20,057
"Hello, we've come six trillion
miles to study your ass.
1342
00:59:20,349 --> 00:59:22,268
"We're proctologists from space."
1343
00:59:24,270 --> 00:59:27,064
Can I have another one here?
1344
00:59:27,356 --> 00:59:28,816
What's it all about?
1345
00:59:33,654 --> 00:59:35,447
Yeah, go ahead and rest.
1346
00:59:42,538 --> 00:59:43,455
- Hey Helen.
1347
00:59:51,797 --> 00:59:53,424
- Harold.
- Hey.
1348
00:59:53,716 --> 00:59:54,633
Helen, right?
1349
00:59:54,925 --> 00:59:55,843
- Yeah.
1350
00:59:56,135 --> 00:59:57,219
Who's your friend?
1351
00:59:57,511 --> 00:59:59,096
- Oh, that's my personal shopper.
1352
00:59:59,388 --> 01:00:01,682
Unfortunately, she only
knows how to buy booze.
1353
01:00:04,059 --> 01:00:05,978
- I think I'll bum one of her cigarettes.
1354
01:00:06,270 --> 01:00:08,355
You think she'll miss it?
1355
01:00:08,647 --> 01:00:10,649
- At this point, I don't
think she'd miss a limb.
1356
01:00:10,941 --> 01:00:13,986
- Light me.
1357
01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:21,285
Thanks.
1358
01:00:22,536 --> 01:00:23,621
So how's work?
1359
01:00:25,372 --> 01:00:28,125
- Bank stuff, nothing exciting.
1360
01:00:28,417 --> 01:00:29,376
- Nothing exciting?
1361
01:00:29,668 --> 01:00:30,878
I wouldn't say that.
1362
01:00:31,170 --> 01:00:32,588
I've always loved numbers and math,
1363
01:00:32,880 --> 01:00:35,132
ever since I was a little girl.
1364
01:00:35,424 --> 01:00:37,259
I find it fascinating.
1365
01:00:37,551 --> 01:00:39,720
And you get to deal with
all that money all day.
1366
01:00:40,012 --> 01:00:42,389
Mm, just thinkin' about it makes me hot.
1367
01:00:51,065 --> 01:00:53,150
Oh, you're making a noise.
1368
01:00:54,234 --> 01:00:55,653
- That's my penis.
1369
01:00:57,363 --> 01:00:58,113
It hums.
1370
01:00:59,698 --> 01:01:02,284
- Guess it doesn't know the words.
1371
01:01:02,576 --> 01:01:04,286
I could teach it a few.
1372
01:01:25,432 --> 01:01:26,684
What's the matter?
1373
01:01:26,975 --> 01:01:27,601
- Nothing.
1374
01:01:58,966 --> 01:02:00,384
God damn it, come on.
1375
01:02:02,428 --> 01:02:03,053
Damn it.
1376
01:02:16,608 --> 01:02:18,736
I'm sorry Helen, I can't do this.
1377
01:02:19,027 --> 01:02:22,656
- I can do whatever you
need, what do you need?
1378
01:02:22,948 --> 01:02:24,241
- I need to go home.
1379
01:02:24,533 --> 01:02:25,576
- To your wife?
1380
01:02:26,577 --> 01:02:28,537
Don't tell me you feel guilty.
1381
01:02:28,829 --> 01:02:29,455
- Guilty?
1382
01:03:36,814 --> 01:03:39,733
Congratulations dad, we're pregnant!
1383
01:03:42,694 --> 01:03:44,446
- I don't believe it, I did it!
1384
01:03:44,738 --> 01:03:45,447
- I helped.
1385
01:03:46,406 --> 01:03:48,116
Now you can't leave me.
1386
01:03:53,163 --> 01:03:54,623
- Morning Melanie.
- Mornin'.
1387
01:03:54,915 --> 01:03:56,041
- Jessie, how are the kids?
1388
01:03:56,333 --> 01:03:56,875
- Great.
1389
01:03:57,167 --> 01:03:58,001
- Dave, don't say it.
1390
01:03:58,293 --> 01:03:59,670
Have a cigar, I can tell
from the look on your face
1391
01:03:59,962 --> 01:04:01,588
you got some last night.
1392
01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:02,506
Good man.
1393
01:04:17,396 --> 01:04:18,647
- Morning Harold.
1394
01:04:18,939 --> 01:04:20,858
I heard the good news, congratulations.
1395
01:04:21,149 --> 01:04:22,150
- Thank you.
1396
01:04:22,442 --> 01:04:24,361
By the way, I've been
thinking a bit more seriously
1397
01:04:24,653 --> 01:04:25,404
about that promotion.
1398
01:04:25,696 --> 01:04:26,947
I hope you haven't made up your mind yet.
1399
01:04:27,239 --> 01:04:28,699
- Ah, well it's close
between you and Perry.
1400
01:04:28,991 --> 01:04:30,284
His third quarter report was a knockout,
1401
01:04:30,576 --> 01:04:31,493
but we'll see what happens.
1402
01:04:31,785 --> 01:04:32,619
Speaking of Perry, you seen him?
1403
01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:34,162
- He's in the vault, he's lookin' for ya.
1404
01:04:34,454 --> 01:04:37,332
- Thank you Harold.
- You're welcome.
1405
01:04:40,711 --> 01:04:42,170
- So, you
see the balance of power
1406
01:04:42,462 --> 01:04:43,964
changing eventually in the Middle East?
1407
01:04:44,256 --> 01:04:45,799
- Well
it has to, eventually,
1408
01:04:46,091 --> 01:04:47,509
because a high percentage of Israelis
1409
01:04:47,801 --> 01:04:49,803
practice birth control,
whereas a high percentage
1410
01:04:50,095 --> 01:04:52,264
of people in the Arab nation do not.
1411
01:04:52,556 --> 01:04:53,640
- You know,
I've heard this theory
1412
01:04:53,932 --> 01:04:55,100
but it sounds a little bit crazy,
1413
01:04:55,392 --> 01:04:56,018
maybe even a little paranoid.
1414
01:04:56,310 --> 01:04:57,561
- Now,
your interpretation of it
1415
01:04:57,853 --> 01:04:59,563
might be paranoid, but the fact is
1416
01:04:59,855 --> 01:05:01,857
that the Arabs are having more children,
1417
01:05:02,149 --> 01:05:03,609
and in a matter of a couple of generations
1418
01:05:03,901 --> 01:05:06,361
they'll be able to control
the voting in Israel,
1419
01:05:06,653 --> 01:05:07,321
hence take over.
1420
01:05:07,613 --> 01:05:08,488
- So what are you saying?
1421
01:05:08,780 --> 01:05:10,115
That they're getting control form within?
1422
01:05:10,407 --> 01:05:12,075
- That's the idea.
1423
01:05:12,367 --> 01:05:13,744
- Well, what
about your feelings on...
1424
01:05:17,831 --> 01:05:18,707
- I think I've got it.
1425
01:05:18,999 --> 01:05:20,334
I think I know why he's here.
1426
01:05:20,626 --> 01:05:22,294
What are you doing?
1427
01:05:22,586 --> 01:05:23,462
- I'm leaving.
1428
01:05:23,754 --> 01:05:24,713
- You're leaving?
1429
01:05:25,005 --> 01:05:26,340
- I found this in your bottom drawer
1430
01:05:26,632 --> 01:05:28,425
under your winter pants.
1431
01:05:29,384 --> 01:05:30,802
- That's not for your eyes, Nadine.
1432
01:05:31,094 --> 01:05:32,012
- Can you tell me why you have a picture
1433
01:05:32,304 --> 01:05:35,015
of a naked man touching
himself in the drawer
1434
01:05:35,307 --> 01:05:36,516
under your winter pants?
1435
01:05:36,808 --> 01:05:38,977
- It's not a man, that's the alien.
1436
01:05:39,269 --> 01:05:40,687
- Oh, oh, the alien.
1437
01:05:40,979 --> 01:05:42,064
- Alien slash banker.
1438
01:05:42,356 --> 01:05:43,857
- I don't know what I'll do
if you tell me you're gay,
1439
01:05:44,149 --> 01:05:45,484
so please don't tell me that.
1440
01:05:45,776 --> 01:05:46,652
- I'm not gay.
1441
01:05:46,944 --> 01:05:47,986
I'm tracking an alien.
1442
01:05:48,278 --> 01:05:49,196
He's here to have sex with our women.
1443
01:05:49,488 --> 01:05:50,572
You can't tell it from the picture,
1444
01:05:50,864 --> 01:05:51,698
but his penis hums.
1445
01:05:51,990 --> 01:05:53,617
It makes a noise like
that water heater we had
1446
01:05:53,909 --> 01:05:55,035
in that timeshare at Deer Valley.
1447
01:05:55,327 --> 01:05:56,995
I'm not making this up, Nadine.
1448
01:05:57,287 --> 01:05:58,997
I'm going to prove everything.
1449
01:05:59,289 --> 01:06:02,167
- Oh my god, you've done it again, Roland.
1450
01:06:02,459 --> 01:06:04,378
It's always like this with you, isn't it?
1451
01:06:04,670 --> 01:06:06,672
You get obsessed with things,
1452
01:06:06,964 --> 01:06:08,882
anything to avoid intimacy.
1453
01:06:09,174 --> 01:06:11,051
You lost your first wife
'cause you got hooked on golf,
1454
01:06:11,343 --> 01:06:12,594
your second wife because of other women.
1455
01:06:12,886 --> 01:06:13,845
- Hey, you were one of 'em.
1456
01:06:14,137 --> 01:06:15,138
- Golf I can understand.
1457
01:06:15,430 --> 01:06:16,598
Other women I can understand.
1458
01:06:16,890 --> 01:06:17,432
But this?
1459
01:06:17,724 --> 01:06:18,976
Aliens having sex with people?
1460
01:06:19,267 --> 01:06:21,812
How does that make me feel?
1461
01:06:22,104 --> 01:06:23,397
Please, please, please just tell me
1462
01:06:23,689 --> 01:06:24,648
that you're having an affair
1463
01:06:24,940 --> 01:06:26,858
with a beautiful female
stripper instead of a man
1464
01:06:27,150 --> 01:06:28,318
so that I can at least look at myself
1465
01:06:28,610 --> 01:06:29,778
in the mirror in the morning.
1466
01:06:30,070 --> 01:06:31,863
- Baby, I swear I'm not.
1467
01:06:38,328 --> 01:06:41,581
- This is not what I want my life to be.
1468
01:06:43,333 --> 01:06:46,169
- I think Helen's having an affair.
1469
01:06:48,005 --> 01:06:49,256
- What makes you think that?
1470
01:06:49,548 --> 01:06:52,217
- I found a belt in my
bedroom that wasn't mine.
1471
01:06:52,509 --> 01:06:53,260
- You sure it's not yours?
1472
01:06:53,552 --> 01:06:55,220
- Positive, it was Armani.
1473
01:06:55,512 --> 01:06:58,682
I don't wear Armani,
only queers wear Armani.
1474
01:06:58,974 --> 01:07:00,183
I think he did her in the shower.
1475
01:07:00,475 --> 01:07:01,435
The curtain was all ripped to shit.
1476
01:07:01,727 --> 01:07:02,269
- Maybe she slipped.
1477
01:07:02,561 --> 01:07:03,270
- Everything's weird.
1478
01:07:03,562 --> 01:07:04,813
Fisk walked into the vault yesterday.
1479
01:07:05,105 --> 01:07:07,733
Two seconds earlier he
woulda caught me and Rita.
1480
01:07:08,025 --> 01:07:08,650
- Wow.
1481
01:07:10,777 --> 01:07:13,739
- Did you tell Fisk I was
in the vault with Rita?
1482
01:07:14,031 --> 01:07:15,073
You fuckin' my wife?
1483
01:07:15,365 --> 01:07:16,867
- No, and no.
1484
01:07:17,159 --> 01:07:17,743
- You sure?
1485
01:07:18,035 --> 01:07:19,369
- Why would I do that?
1486
01:07:19,661 --> 01:07:20,746
To get even with you for giving Fisk
1487
01:07:21,038 --> 01:07:22,205
my third quarter report?
1488
01:07:22,497 --> 01:07:24,833
- Whoa, whoa, where does that come from?
1489
01:07:25,125 --> 01:07:27,252
What did I do to deserve that, Harold,
1490
01:07:27,544 --> 01:07:29,337
other than just extend
the hand of friendship
1491
01:07:29,629 --> 01:07:30,672
and helping you in general?
1492
01:07:30,964 --> 01:07:32,257
After everything I've done for you?
1493
01:07:32,549 --> 01:07:34,426
- What have you done for me?
1494
01:07:34,718 --> 01:07:37,387
- What have I done, what
have I done for you?
1495
01:07:37,679 --> 01:07:38,555
That hurts worse.
1496
01:07:38,847 --> 01:07:40,348
Did I not take you to the
place where you met your wife?
1497
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:42,768
Did I not do that for you?
1498
01:07:43,060 --> 01:07:44,728
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
1499
01:07:45,020 --> 01:07:45,645
- Sorry.
1500
01:07:46,688 --> 01:07:48,315
- Geez, just try to relax.
1501
01:07:48,607 --> 01:07:50,734
You are wound as tight as a drum.
1502
01:07:51,026 --> 01:07:52,903
Do us both a favor, okay?
1503
01:07:54,946 --> 01:07:56,448
I'll be in the vault for about 30 minutes.
1504
01:07:56,740 --> 01:07:57,741
If you see Fisk, cover for me.
1505
01:07:58,033 --> 01:07:58,658
- Sure.
1506
01:08:00,202 --> 01:08:01,495
Asshole.
1507
01:08:01,787 --> 01:08:02,662
Not you, sir.
1508
01:08:04,956 --> 01:08:07,501
- They try
the reverse to Specca.
1509
01:08:07,793 --> 01:08:09,336
Has some running room.
1510
01:08:09,628 --> 01:08:11,713
Cuts it back inside, but
the pursuit will catch up.
1511
01:08:12,005 --> 01:08:13,507
That's Tim Schaefer,
the right cornerback,
1512
01:08:13,799 --> 01:08:15,008
coming over to chase him out of bounds.
1513
01:08:15,300 --> 01:08:17,260
On the wet field, it just takes too long
1514
01:08:17,552 --> 01:08:19,679
for a reverse to really have it.
1515
01:08:19,971 --> 01:08:21,056
I expect he gets the ball.
1516
01:08:21,348 --> 01:08:23,391
You can see that quarterback number 14,
1517
01:08:23,683 --> 01:08:26,478
Jason Behr with a block
that just takes too long,
1518
01:08:26,770 --> 01:08:27,979
and Tim Schaefer--
1519
01:08:28,271 --> 01:08:28,897
- Hi.
1520
01:08:31,191 --> 01:08:32,442
Hi dad.
1521
01:08:32,734 --> 01:08:33,360
- Hi.
1522
01:08:34,569 --> 01:08:36,655
- Come on, you wanna go in the
other room and fool around?
1523
01:08:36,947 --> 01:08:37,823
- Fourth quarter.
1524
01:08:38,115 --> 01:08:39,616
- Is there something wrong?
1525
01:08:39,908 --> 01:08:40,867
- No.
1526
01:08:41,159 --> 01:08:41,785
Why?
1527
01:08:43,036 --> 01:08:45,163
- I hope I'm not gonna say this.
1528
01:08:45,455 --> 01:08:46,081
I am.
1529
01:08:47,582 --> 01:08:50,418
It seems like you're more
distant since I got pregnant,
1530
01:08:50,710 --> 01:08:52,045
or is it just my hormones?
1531
01:08:52,337 --> 01:08:53,296
- I think it's just your hormones.
1532
01:08:53,588 --> 01:08:54,840
- I don't think so.
1533
01:08:55,132 --> 01:08:55,882
- I don't know what you're talkin' about.
1534
01:08:56,174 --> 01:08:59,177
- You're distant, you
haven't touched me in weeks.
1535
01:08:59,469 --> 01:09:00,470
Oh, oh are you gonna turn that off?
1536
01:09:00,762 --> 01:09:01,972
- No, I'm just gonna turn the sound up.
1537
01:09:02,264 --> 01:09:03,431
- Oh okay, let me.
1538
01:09:06,810 --> 01:09:08,103
- Okay, maybe I haven't touched you
1539
01:09:08,395 --> 01:09:09,771
as much as I used to, but that's no reason
1540
01:09:10,063 --> 01:09:11,606
to destroy the remote.
1541
01:09:11,898 --> 01:09:13,358
I mean, come on now.
1542
01:09:21,116 --> 01:09:22,909
- Where are you going?
1543
01:09:23,201 --> 01:09:24,286
- I'm going to buy a new remote,
1544
01:09:24,578 --> 01:09:26,413
otherwise we're gonna have
to keep getting up and down.
1545
01:09:26,705 --> 01:09:29,958
- Excuse me, we have plans,
or have you forgotten?
1546
01:09:30,250 --> 01:09:31,042
- We have plans?
1547
01:09:31,334 --> 01:09:33,461
- Yes, I was thinking
about going and looking
1548
01:09:33,753 --> 01:09:35,005
at cribs for the baby.
1549
01:09:35,297 --> 01:09:36,131
- You didn't tell me that.
1550
01:09:36,423 --> 01:09:37,883
- Well I'm telling you now.
1551
01:09:38,175 --> 01:09:39,050
You know what?
1552
01:09:39,342 --> 01:09:40,302
Don't let me hold you up.
1553
01:09:40,594 --> 01:09:42,429
You just go and get your precious remote.
1554
01:09:42,721 --> 01:09:44,097
We won't worry about the crib.
1555
01:09:44,389 --> 01:09:45,891
The baby can sleep in a dresser drawer
1556
01:09:46,183 --> 01:09:47,767
for the first year of its life.
1557
01:09:48,059 --> 01:09:48,685
Just go.
1558
01:09:50,896 --> 01:09:51,813
What are you doing?
1559
01:09:52,105 --> 01:09:53,064
- You said go.
1560
01:09:54,065 --> 01:09:54,816
Bye.
1561
01:09:58,195 --> 01:09:59,654
It's called a universal remote.
1562
01:09:59,946 --> 01:10:01,531
It comes with codes for
every make and model
1563
01:10:01,823 --> 01:10:03,366
of television and VCR, and all you do
1564
01:10:03,658 --> 01:10:05,702
is punch in the code for your equipment
1565
01:10:05,994 --> 01:10:06,995
and you're in business.
1566
01:10:07,287 --> 01:10:08,955
- Yes, modern technology.
1567
01:10:09,247 --> 01:10:10,123
- You said it.
1568
01:10:10,415 --> 01:10:11,875
- What do you think of Aaron?
1569
01:10:12,167 --> 01:10:13,084
- Who's Aaron?
1570
01:10:13,376 --> 01:10:14,878
- No, for the baby if it's a boy.
1571
01:10:17,672 --> 01:10:19,424
- You said you were six weeks pregnant?
1572
01:10:19,716 --> 01:10:20,342
- Yeah.
1573
01:10:22,302 --> 01:10:23,970
- Is something wrong?
1574
01:10:28,183 --> 01:10:29,726
Who are you calling?
1575
01:10:30,977 --> 01:10:34,481
- Tom, could you come in here a second?
1576
01:10:34,773 --> 01:10:36,274
Oh, I'm sure it's nothing
to be alarmed about.
1577
01:10:36,566 --> 01:10:39,861
Have you been having any
pain or any other symptoms
1578
01:10:40,153 --> 01:10:41,196
that are out of the ordinary?
1579
01:10:41,488 --> 01:10:42,989
- No, no I haven't had a single problem.
1580
01:10:43,281 --> 01:10:46,701
I haven't even had morning sickness.
1581
01:10:46,993 --> 01:10:48,328
- Oh Tom,
1582
01:10:48,620 --> 01:10:49,496
look at this.
1583
01:10:53,667 --> 01:10:54,709
- Looks like a perfectly formed
1584
01:10:55,001 --> 01:10:56,378
four or five month old fetus.
1585
01:10:56,670 --> 01:10:58,713
- Yeah, she's at six weeks.
1586
01:11:01,925 --> 01:11:02,884
- I'm scared.
1587
01:11:03,176 --> 01:11:04,135
- There's nothing to worry about.
1588
01:11:04,427 --> 01:11:06,054
He said it was healthy, that's
the important thing, right?
1589
01:11:06,346 --> 01:11:07,806
- Did you see Rosemary's Baby?
1590
01:11:08,098 --> 01:11:08,682
- Rosemary who?
1591
01:11:08,974 --> 01:11:09,933
- No, no, it's--
1592
01:11:10,225 --> 01:11:11,017
- You need to rest.
1593
01:11:11,309 --> 01:11:12,602
Just sit down and don't think about it.
1594
01:11:12,894 --> 01:11:13,436
- Oh thanks.
1595
01:11:13,728 --> 01:11:14,604
- No problem.
1596
01:11:16,189 --> 01:11:17,774
Easy, easy.
- Thanks.
1597
01:11:18,066 --> 01:11:19,609
- There you go, okay.
1598
01:11:22,404 --> 01:11:23,154
- Don't.
1599
01:11:28,201 --> 01:11:32,247
- Thank you all so much,
thank you, thank you Hank.
1600
01:11:32,539 --> 01:11:33,415
Hey Anderson!
1601
01:11:34,624 --> 01:11:36,459
You're a little late, it's 11 o'clock.
1602
01:11:36,751 --> 01:11:38,253
I'll let it slide, seeing
as it's my first day
1603
01:11:38,545 --> 01:11:39,754
as vice president.
1604
01:11:41,715 --> 01:11:42,799
- You got the promotion?
1605
01:11:43,091 --> 01:11:43,675
- And you didn't.
1606
01:11:43,967 --> 01:11:46,928
Well, there is always five years from now.
1607
01:11:47,220 --> 01:11:47,846
Champagne?
1608
01:11:51,141 --> 01:11:53,560
Harold, don't take it so hard.
1609
01:12:04,696 --> 01:12:05,613
Do I smell tears?
1610
01:12:05,905 --> 01:12:07,699
- What is your fucking problem?
1611
01:12:07,991 --> 01:12:09,659
You stole my third quarter report.
1612
01:12:09,951 --> 01:12:11,328
And, you've been having sex
1613
01:12:11,619 --> 01:12:13,204
with a coworker during office hours,
1614
01:12:13,496 --> 01:12:15,040
and you got the promotion
which can only mean
1615
01:12:15,332 --> 01:12:17,000
you've also been blowing the boss.
1616
01:12:17,292 --> 01:12:17,834
You know what?
1617
01:12:18,126 --> 01:12:19,794
I've met some pathetic
human beings in my life,
1618
01:12:20,086 --> 01:12:21,379
but you take the cake.
1619
01:12:21,671 --> 01:12:22,589
- Oh, like you're so much better.
1620
01:12:22,881 --> 01:12:23,757
You don't think I knew it was you
1621
01:12:24,049 --> 01:12:25,425
who sent Fisk to the vault that time?
1622
01:12:25,717 --> 01:12:26,843
And the Armani belt?
1623
01:12:27,135 --> 01:12:28,094
It was yours, you prick!
1624
01:12:28,386 --> 01:12:29,220
Maybe you wouldn't have to go around
1625
01:12:29,512 --> 01:12:30,347
banging other people's wives
1626
01:12:30,638 --> 01:12:32,724
if your old lady wasn't a drunk.
1627
01:12:39,647 --> 01:12:40,565
You're crazy!
1628
01:12:40,857 --> 01:12:41,608
- I don't even remember hitting him.
1629
01:12:41,900 --> 01:12:43,610
All I know is he was
talking and I was filled
1630
01:12:43,902 --> 01:12:45,445
with this feeling of, I don't know what,
1631
01:12:45,737 --> 01:12:48,531
because he got the promotion
and because he stole my work
1632
01:12:48,823 --> 01:12:51,076
and now he's gonna make more money than me
1633
01:12:51,368 --> 01:12:55,455
and we have a baby on
the way, and I hit him.
1634
01:12:55,747 --> 01:12:56,915
I don't know who I am anymore.
1635
01:12:57,207 --> 01:12:58,208
- You're being too hard on yourself.
1636
01:12:58,500 --> 01:13:00,418
You're just human, that's all.
1637
01:13:00,710 --> 01:13:02,879
- Oh shit, I'm bleeding.
1638
01:13:03,171 --> 01:13:05,548
- No you're not, you're crying.
1639
01:13:24,234 --> 01:13:26,111
I love the way you look at the stars.
1640
01:13:26,403 --> 01:13:28,530
- Oh I was just, you know, looking.
1641
01:13:28,822 --> 01:13:29,906
- No, there's something different.
1642
01:13:30,198 --> 01:13:31,449
Most people when they look at the stars
1643
01:13:31,741 --> 01:13:33,034
they look all over.
1644
01:13:33,326 --> 01:13:35,787
You're always very focused,
like you're looking
1645
01:13:36,079 --> 01:13:38,123
at the same one every time.
1646
01:13:39,249 --> 01:13:42,794
- I feel so much better when I'm with you.
1647
01:13:43,086 --> 01:13:45,463
- That's the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.
1648
01:13:45,755 --> 01:13:49,050
- I didn't say it to be
nice, it's just, a fact.
1649
01:13:49,342 --> 01:13:51,553
- That's even nicer, I guess.
1650
01:13:53,638 --> 01:13:56,433
- I'm sorry about that
whole thing with the remote.
1651
01:13:56,724 --> 01:13:57,684
- That's okay.
1652
01:14:12,824 --> 01:14:15,243
Are you gonna make love to me?
1653
01:14:15,535 --> 01:14:16,578
- I believe so.
1654
01:14:17,620 --> 01:14:19,289
- I'm pregnant.
1655
01:14:19,581 --> 01:14:20,206
- I know.
1656
01:14:40,185 --> 01:14:41,394
- I don't know what the problem is.
1657
01:14:41,686 --> 01:14:43,396
- The problem is, you have
a problem listening to me.
1658
01:14:43,688 --> 01:14:44,397
- What are you talking about?
1659
01:14:44,689 --> 01:14:46,107
- Stop being so stubborn, okay?
1660
01:14:46,399 --> 01:14:46,941
- I'm being stubborn?
1661
01:14:50,403 --> 01:14:51,029
- Hi.
1662
01:14:56,743 --> 01:14:57,869
Harold, why are you here?
1663
01:14:58,161 --> 01:14:58,995
- I think we should buy this house.
1664
01:14:59,287 --> 01:15:00,705
- What?
- That's right, why not?
1665
01:15:00,997 --> 01:15:02,499
Come on, it's a beautiful house.
1666
01:15:02,790 --> 01:15:03,333
And you know what?
1667
01:15:03,625 --> 01:15:04,209
This is perfect for the baby.
1668
01:15:04,501 --> 01:15:05,502
- Harold, you can't be serious.
1669
01:15:05,793 --> 01:15:07,378
- I am, I'm dead serious.
1670
01:15:07,670 --> 01:15:08,296
- Harold!
1671
01:15:09,464 --> 01:15:11,049
- Come on, you won't
be needing this anymore.
1672
01:15:11,341 --> 01:15:12,550
- I don't believe this!
1673
01:15:12,842 --> 01:15:14,677
- Let's take a look.
1674
01:15:14,969 --> 01:15:16,679
It's gonna be so great.
1675
01:15:17,972 --> 01:15:19,307
Look, this is our cactus.
1676
01:15:19,599 --> 01:15:20,975
- I couldn't even imagine it.
1677
01:15:21,267 --> 01:15:22,477
- I don't either.
1678
01:15:23,436 --> 01:15:25,980
- Universal domination,
taking over from the inside
1679
01:15:26,272 --> 01:15:27,982
through deception and fraud.
1680
01:15:28,274 --> 01:15:29,192
I know it sounds improbable,
1681
01:15:29,484 --> 01:15:33,571
but I believe in what I'm saying 110%.
1682
01:15:33,863 --> 01:15:36,324
- So, this person is here to have sex?
1683
01:15:36,616 --> 01:15:37,200
- Correct.
1684
01:15:37,492 --> 01:15:40,620
- Did they run out of pussy on his planet?
1685
01:15:40,912 --> 01:15:41,996
- I know it sounds insane,
1686
01:15:42,288 --> 01:15:44,666
but I have here the passenger
list of all three flights
1687
01:15:44,958 --> 01:15:47,168
that experienced the
same strange turbulence.
1688
01:15:47,460 --> 01:15:50,088
Harold Anderson was on all
these flights, gentlemen.
1689
01:15:50,380 --> 01:15:52,173
Explain that, and you will
never hear another word
1690
01:15:52,465 --> 01:15:54,509
from me about this subject.
1691
01:15:56,010 --> 01:15:57,428
- Oh, it's too small.
1692
01:15:57,720 --> 01:16:00,139
Try raising your hands over your head.
1693
01:16:01,724 --> 01:16:02,767
- Well, how often do you
have to raise your hands
1694
01:16:03,059 --> 01:16:03,601
higher than this?
1695
01:16:03,893 --> 01:16:04,811
Honey, it's perfect.
1696
01:16:05,103 --> 01:16:07,146
- No, I'll exchange it.
1697
01:16:07,438 --> 01:16:10,066
- Your turn, I got you a present.
1698
01:16:10,358 --> 01:16:10,984
Open it.
1699
01:16:14,028 --> 01:16:14,821
- All right.
1700
01:16:20,451 --> 01:16:21,202
Oh!
1701
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:25,164
It's the crib!
1702
01:16:27,208 --> 01:16:29,210
This is the one I wanted.
1703
01:16:30,962 --> 01:16:32,130
- This one's for the baby, but maybe
1704
01:16:32,422 --> 01:16:34,632
you can both squeeze into it.
1705
01:16:36,259 --> 01:16:37,010
- Oh god.
1706
01:16:37,969 --> 01:16:39,137
- What's wrong?
1707
01:16:40,555 --> 01:16:42,432
- I feel like I'm being ripped apart!
1708
01:16:42,724 --> 01:16:43,725
- It's okay, just hang on.
1709
01:16:44,017 --> 01:16:44,976
- You're driving too fast.
1710
01:16:45,268 --> 01:16:46,019
- I thought you wanted me to hurry.
1711
01:16:46,311 --> 01:16:47,937
- I do, but slow down.
1712
01:17:11,669 --> 01:17:12,211
Oh god!
1713
01:17:12,503 --> 01:17:13,796
- Is this amount of pain normal?
1714
01:17:14,088 --> 01:17:14,631
- Yes.
1715
01:17:14,922 --> 01:17:15,465
- Did you hear that?
1716
01:17:15,757 --> 01:17:17,216
This amount of pain's
normal, that's a good sign.
1717
01:17:17,508 --> 01:17:18,843
- Shut up, asshole.
1718
01:17:19,135 --> 01:17:20,011
- She's fine.
1719
01:17:25,308 --> 01:17:26,100
- They're not home.
1720
01:17:26,392 --> 01:17:27,101
- The Andersons?
1721
01:17:27,393 --> 01:17:29,854
- They're at the hospital
having their baby.
1722
01:17:30,146 --> 01:17:31,397
I love babies.
1723
01:17:31,689 --> 01:17:33,024
- Shit, which hospital?
1724
01:17:33,316 --> 01:17:36,486
- Oh, she told me a couple of weeks ago.
1725
01:17:36,778 --> 01:17:38,029
It's a woman's name.
1726
01:17:38,321 --> 01:17:38,946
- Think.
1727
01:17:40,948 --> 01:17:42,241
- Saint Agnes.
1728
01:17:42,533 --> 01:17:44,327
No wait, that's my name.
1729
01:17:46,371 --> 01:17:48,206
It was, Saint Agatha's.
1730
01:17:52,460 --> 01:17:54,420
- Give us another push, Susan.
1731
01:17:56,881 --> 01:17:58,508
- Why are there so many people here?
1732
01:17:58,800 --> 01:18:00,718
- Considering the unusual
nature of your pregnancy,
1733
01:18:01,010 --> 01:18:02,929
I thought we should have
some specialists on hand
1734
01:18:03,221 --> 01:18:03,930
just in case.
1735
01:18:04,222 --> 01:18:05,848
- Is that supposed to make me feel better?
1736
01:18:06,140 --> 01:18:07,058
- Her blood pressure's dropping.
1737
01:18:07,350 --> 01:18:09,185
- We're gonna
have to do a c-section.
1738
01:18:09,477 --> 01:18:10,103
- God help me.
1739
01:18:10,395 --> 01:18:12,772
- Hold it, hold it, I see the head.
1740
01:18:13,064 --> 01:18:15,191
Keep pushing Susan, give me some pushes.
1741
01:18:15,483 --> 01:18:19,028
Please, please.
1742
01:18:22,198 --> 01:18:23,408
- What's happening?
1743
01:18:23,700 --> 01:18:24,450
- Just give me a second.
1744
01:18:24,742 --> 01:18:26,703
All right, suction here please.
1745
01:18:26,994 --> 01:18:29,080
- Oh god, I can't hear my baby.
1746
01:18:29,372 --> 01:18:32,083
- I, I can't see anything.
1747
01:18:34,085 --> 01:18:38,005
- This is the strangest, most incredible.
1748
01:18:38,297 --> 01:18:39,924
Mr. and Mrs. Anderson,
1749
01:18:42,343 --> 01:18:45,930
say hello to your completely
healthy new baby boy.
1750
01:18:52,395 --> 01:18:54,981
Better not tell anyone about
this three month pregnancy.
1751
01:18:55,273 --> 01:18:57,567
Everyone's gonna want one.
1752
01:18:57,859 --> 01:18:59,318
- You okay?
1753
01:18:59,610 --> 01:19:01,821
- Look at him we, we made this.
1754
01:19:02,113 --> 01:19:02,822
This is us.
1755
01:19:05,867 --> 01:19:07,201
- It's a miracle.
1756
01:19:18,463 --> 01:19:20,882
I can't wait to see him again.
1757
01:19:23,092 --> 01:19:26,721
You were so cute in the delivery room.
1758
01:19:27,013 --> 01:19:28,306
I'll always remember your face
1759
01:19:28,598 --> 01:19:30,933
when they handed him to you.
1760
01:19:31,225 --> 01:19:33,603
- I want you to remember that.
1761
01:19:33,895 --> 01:19:34,937
- What's wrong?
1762
01:19:36,647 --> 01:19:38,149
Harold, what is it?
1763
01:19:39,192 --> 01:19:41,068
- I have to leave.
1764
01:19:41,360 --> 01:19:43,362
- Leave the hospital?
1765
01:19:43,654 --> 01:19:44,280
- Yeah.
1766
01:19:45,239 --> 01:19:47,158
- When will you be back?
1767
01:19:49,535 --> 01:19:51,287
- I'm not coming back.
1768
01:19:52,789 --> 01:19:53,539
- What?
1769
01:19:54,582 --> 01:19:57,001
- I don't wanna go, I have to.
1770
01:19:59,253 --> 01:20:01,255
- You're not coming back?
1771
01:20:04,717 --> 01:20:05,927
- No.
1772
01:20:06,219 --> 01:20:10,556
Maybe I should've just
left, this seems worse.
1773
01:20:16,729 --> 01:20:17,396
- Can I help you?
1774
01:20:17,688 --> 01:20:18,523
- Looking for Harold Anderson,
1775
01:20:18,815 --> 01:20:20,316
his wife is having a baby.
1776
01:20:20,608 --> 01:20:21,734
- Anderson, they are
in the maternity wing,
1777
01:20:22,026 --> 01:20:24,362
I believe in the delivery room.
1778
01:20:24,654 --> 01:20:27,073
You can't go in there, sir.
1779
01:20:27,365 --> 01:20:29,450
Sir, you are not allowed in there!
1780
01:20:29,742 --> 01:20:32,453
- Get out, get the hell away from me.
1781
01:20:32,745 --> 01:20:34,622
I don't believe it, I don't believe it,
1782
01:20:34,914 --> 01:20:37,124
I did it again, I did it again.
1783
01:20:37,416 --> 01:20:39,043
- I know you're angry.
1784
01:20:39,335 --> 01:20:40,586
- You coward.
1785
01:20:40,878 --> 01:20:43,130
Two minutes with your child
and you're scared shitless.
1786
01:20:43,422 --> 01:20:45,925
Get him out, get him out of here.
1787
01:20:46,217 --> 01:20:47,552
Get out!
1788
01:20:47,844 --> 01:20:48,386
- Bye.
1789
01:20:48,678 --> 01:20:49,971
- Get out!
1790
01:20:59,397 --> 01:21:01,274
- Harold Anderson, I need to talk to him.
1791
01:21:01,566 --> 01:21:02,608
- Is he in the military?
1792
01:21:02,900 --> 01:21:03,776
- Where is he?
1793
01:21:04,068 --> 01:21:04,777
- His wife's here, but he's gone.
1794
01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:05,611
- Can I talk to her?
1795
01:21:05,903 --> 01:21:06,821
- This isn't a good time.
1796
01:21:07,113 --> 01:21:08,030
If you find the bastard, give him a swift
1797
01:21:08,322 --> 01:21:09,407
kick in the pants for me.
1798
01:21:09,699 --> 01:21:11,784
10 minutes after the baby's
born, he leaves his wife.
1799
01:21:12,076 --> 01:21:13,369
What kind of a sick person is that?
1800
01:21:13,661 --> 01:21:14,412
- He's going back.
1801
01:21:14,704 --> 01:21:15,746
I know where he is, come on.
1802
01:21:18,749 --> 01:21:20,126
Excuse me there, chief.
1803
01:21:20,418 --> 01:21:21,836
Hi, Merry Christmas, I'm
lookin' for a passenger
1804
01:21:22,128 --> 01:21:25,631
on one of your flights, Harold
Anderson, usual spelling.
1805
01:21:28,301 --> 01:21:30,761
- We're just about to push away.
1806
01:21:37,894 --> 01:21:39,395
- Hi, how ya doin'?
1807
01:22:06,130 --> 01:22:08,007
- So they gave her a c-section.
1808
01:22:08,299 --> 01:22:09,926
- Doctor Weitzman, we've got a problem.
1809
01:22:10,217 --> 01:22:10,885
- What is it?
1810
01:22:11,177 --> 01:22:12,595
- It's about the Anderson baby.
1811
01:22:14,388 --> 01:22:15,431
- The captain has turned off
1812
01:22:15,723 --> 01:22:16,766
the fasten seat belt sign.
1813
01:22:17,058 --> 01:22:19,060
But for your safety and the
safety of those around you,
1814
01:22:19,352 --> 01:22:21,228
we suggest that you remain seated
1815
01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:23,481
with your seat belt securely fastened.
1816
01:22:23,773 --> 01:22:26,233
Thank you and enjoy your flight to Reno.
1817
01:22:26,525 --> 01:22:27,193
- Excuse me.
1818
01:22:27,485 --> 01:22:28,903
Excuse me, I need to get by.
- Oh sorry.
1819
01:22:29,195 --> 01:22:30,029
You know, why is it you always pack
1820
01:22:30,321 --> 01:22:31,280
exactly what you need
where you can't get at it?
1821
01:22:31,572 --> 01:22:33,074
And why do they make
these aisles so narrow?
1822
01:22:33,366 --> 01:22:33,908
- What do I look like?
1823
01:22:34,200 --> 01:22:34,825
Fucking Andy Rooney?
1824
01:22:35,117 --> 01:22:36,744
Get outta the way!
1825
01:22:51,300 --> 01:22:53,052
Excuse me, watch your
back, watch your back.
1826
01:22:53,344 --> 01:22:54,345
Excuse me, comin' through,
1827
01:22:54,637 --> 01:22:58,599
watch your back, watch your back
please, 'scuse me, comin' through.
1828
01:23:16,659 --> 01:23:19,537
- No I'm okay, really,
I don't need anything.
1829
01:23:19,829 --> 01:23:22,498
- Just a mild sedative, help keep you calm
1830
01:23:22,790 --> 01:23:24,333
while you recuperate.
1831
01:23:28,421 --> 01:23:30,464
I know you've had some bad news,
1832
01:23:30,756 --> 01:23:34,385
and believe me, I hate
to give you more but,
1833
01:23:34,677 --> 01:23:38,431
we believe that your
husband has taken the baby.
1834
01:23:40,516 --> 01:23:43,102
We've contacted the authorities.
1835
01:23:44,687 --> 01:23:45,813
- I'm fired?
1836
01:23:46,105 --> 01:23:48,441
- No, uh, you're just
taking your sabbatical.
1837
01:23:48,733 --> 01:23:51,152
- And that will bring you
up to your retirement.
1838
01:23:51,444 --> 01:23:52,319
- So I'm fired?
1839
01:23:52,611 --> 01:23:54,196
- No, you're taking a sabbatical,
1840
01:23:54,488 --> 01:23:56,365
and then you're retiring.
1841
01:23:57,825 --> 01:23:59,618
- I saw him walk into the lavatory.
1842
01:23:59,910 --> 01:24:01,871
When I opened the door, he was gone.
1843
01:24:02,163 --> 01:24:03,873
- Yeah, do you hear what you're saying?
1844
01:24:04,165 --> 01:24:05,833
Is there any awareness
of what you're saying?
1845
01:24:06,125 --> 01:24:08,586
Just, why don't you just
enjoy your time off?
1846
01:24:08,878 --> 01:24:09,503
- Rest.
1847
01:24:16,761 --> 01:24:18,095
- Bastard.
1848
01:24:18,387 --> 01:24:19,013
Bastard!
1849
01:24:47,083 --> 01:24:50,377
- I have to go buy a remote
control for the television set.
1850
01:24:50,669 --> 01:24:52,046
- Well don't let me stop you.
1851
01:24:52,338 --> 01:24:53,631
You go, have a wonderful time.
1852
01:24:53,923 --> 01:24:55,966
I wanted to go shopping for
clothes for the baby but,
1853
01:24:56,258 --> 01:24:57,134
we won't worry about that.
1854
01:24:57,426 --> 01:24:58,385
The baby can just go around naked
1855
01:24:58,677 --> 01:25:01,388
for the first year of its life, go.
1856
01:25:03,349 --> 01:25:04,100
Go.
1857
01:25:06,185 --> 01:25:06,936
- So I go?
1858
01:25:07,228 --> 01:25:08,229
- No, you don't go.
1859
01:25:09,647 --> 01:25:10,773
See, that's the interesting thing.
1860
01:25:11,065 --> 01:25:12,983
- But she told me to go.
1861
01:25:13,275 --> 01:25:16,070
- Well, there's a whole
layer here you're missing.
1862
01:25:16,362 --> 01:25:17,780
Now you know what I had to deal with.
1863
01:25:18,072 --> 01:25:19,115
Take your seat.
1864
01:25:20,783 --> 01:25:23,410
And this isn't easy, so don't
beat yourself up over it.
1865
01:25:23,702 --> 01:25:25,496
- What does that mean?
1866
01:25:25,788 --> 01:25:26,914
- Just sit down.
1867
01:25:28,374 --> 01:25:29,125
I've...
1868
01:25:34,213 --> 01:25:37,424
Reprogrammed the computer
to more accurately
1869
01:25:37,716 --> 01:25:40,594
represent what you'll be
dealing with on Earth.
1870
01:25:40,886 --> 01:25:43,514
If you're looking for an
overriding logic or rationality,
1871
01:25:43,806 --> 01:25:47,560
just remember, this is
Earth we're dealing with.
1872
01:25:47,852 --> 01:25:49,562
- I guess you don't like my friends.
1873
01:25:49,854 --> 01:25:50,604
- I like your friends.
1874
01:25:50,896 --> 01:25:52,106
- You barely acknowledged them.
1875
01:25:52,398 --> 01:25:53,649
What's wrong with you?
1876
01:25:53,941 --> 01:25:56,777
If you don't talk to me, how
will I know what's wrong?
1877
01:25:57,069 --> 01:25:58,112
You gotta open up, you gotta connect.
1878
01:26:02,158 --> 01:26:04,493
Ah, I guess you don't like my friends.
1879
01:26:04,785 --> 01:26:05,953
You barely acknowledge them.
1880
01:26:06,245 --> 01:26:07,454
What's wrong with you?
1881
01:26:07,746 --> 01:26:10,457
If you don't talk to me, how
will I know what's wrong?
1882
01:26:10,749 --> 01:26:14,378
I mean, you gotta con--
1883
01:26:14,670 --> 01:26:17,798
- It goes on and on like that for hours.
1884
01:26:19,049 --> 01:26:22,720
Human relationships are
filled with conflict.
1885
01:26:24,305 --> 01:26:27,641
The whole planet is filled with conflict.
1886
01:26:28,601 --> 01:26:30,477
Not that that's a bad thing,
because it's through conflict
1887
01:26:30,769 --> 01:26:32,855
that we learn about ourselves.
1888
01:26:38,652 --> 01:26:39,403
Questions?
1889
01:26:42,781 --> 01:26:44,867
I see some confused faces.
1890
01:26:45,826 --> 01:26:49,914
You see, here on our planet we
have no emotion or conflict,
1891
01:26:51,123 --> 01:26:54,126
so we've never had to
look inward at ourselves,
1892
01:26:54,418 --> 01:26:57,171
and that's helped us
become a technological,
1893
01:26:57,463 --> 01:26:59,840
intellectual force in the Universe but,
1894
01:27:00,132 --> 01:27:01,717
I really think it's a dead end.
1895
01:27:02,009 --> 01:27:04,803
I mean, to be honest with ya, I question
1896
01:27:05,095 --> 01:27:07,806
why we're even taking over Earth.
1897
01:27:08,098 --> 01:27:09,099
I mean, why?
1898
01:27:09,391 --> 01:27:11,435
So we can make them like us?
1899
01:27:11,727 --> 01:27:12,978
When in fact, we can learn from them,
1900
01:27:13,270 --> 01:27:16,690
and they can remind us
of who we were before.
1901
01:27:16,982 --> 01:27:17,608
Excuse me.
1902
01:27:21,487 --> 01:27:23,822
Why does Graydon wanna see me?
1903
01:27:24,114 --> 01:27:25,324
You know, if you don't talk to me
1904
01:27:25,616 --> 01:27:27,493
I won't know what's wrong.
1905
01:27:38,462 --> 01:27:41,257
Hey, my baby, that's my baby.
1906
01:27:41,548 --> 01:27:43,509
Wait a minute, what's my baby doing here?
1907
01:27:43,801 --> 01:27:45,010
Stop!
1908
01:27:45,302 --> 01:27:46,762
Wait a minute, stop.
1909
01:27:50,349 --> 01:27:51,850
- I can't have you polluting
the minds of others.
1910
01:27:52,142 --> 01:27:52,977
- What is my son doing here?
1911
01:27:53,269 --> 01:27:54,103
- You're raising your voice.
1912
01:27:54,395 --> 01:27:55,062
- You bet your ass I am.
1913
01:27:55,354 --> 01:27:57,189
You never told me you were
going to take the baby.
1914
01:27:57,481 --> 01:27:59,024
- Did you tell anyone the
truth about who you were
1915
01:27:59,316 --> 01:28:00,943
and why you were there?
- A woman in a bar.
1916
01:28:01,235 --> 01:28:02,486
- We took care of her, anyone else?
1917
01:28:02,778 --> 01:28:04,863
Because anyone you told
will be disposed of.
1918
01:28:05,155 --> 01:28:06,323
- Why are we taking over Earth?
1919
01:28:06,615 --> 01:28:07,449
How much more do we need?
1920
01:28:07,741 --> 01:28:09,285
Is that what it's about, more, more, more?
1921
01:28:09,576 --> 01:28:10,119
- Yes.
1922
01:28:10,411 --> 01:28:13,122
I'm sending you to the
purification center.
1923
01:28:13,414 --> 01:28:13,956
Take him.
1924
01:28:14,248 --> 01:28:15,332
I don't want him to remember anything
1925
01:28:15,624 --> 01:28:18,752
about his time there, or about the baby.
1926
01:28:25,759 --> 01:28:27,344
- Get out of my way.
1927
01:29:01,337 --> 01:29:02,713
Okay, get back.
1928
01:29:03,005 --> 01:29:04,214
Put your weapons down.
1929
01:29:04,506 --> 01:29:05,466
Okay guys, put your weapons down.
1930
01:29:05,758 --> 01:29:06,925
You're scaring the baby.
1931
01:29:12,931 --> 01:29:13,599
See?
1932
01:29:13,891 --> 01:29:15,267
See what you did?
1933
01:29:15,559 --> 01:29:17,061
I told you you were scaring the baby.
1934
01:29:17,353 --> 01:29:18,270
- Turn that thing off.
1935
01:29:18,562 --> 01:29:19,188
- Turn it off?
1936
01:29:19,480 --> 01:29:21,899
You're the one who got it
started, you turn it off.
1937
01:29:22,191 --> 01:29:23,776
Go ahead, turn it off.
1938
01:29:24,068 --> 01:29:27,112
This thing's gonna blow,
that's what they do.
1939
01:29:27,404 --> 01:29:28,947
This is how it starts,
and then it gets worse,
1940
01:29:29,239 --> 01:29:31,700
and worse, and then they explode.
1941
01:29:31,992 --> 01:29:35,204
There's gonna be baby all over the place.
1942
01:29:42,378 --> 01:29:43,462
That's my boy!
1943
01:29:59,770 --> 01:30:02,314
- Thank you, thank you so much.
1944
01:30:02,606 --> 01:30:06,151
Just please let me know as
soon as you hear anything.
1945
01:30:06,443 --> 01:30:07,069
Okay.
1946
01:30:09,071 --> 01:30:11,573
Somebody spotted a man in Michigan
1947
01:30:11,865 --> 01:30:15,828
who matches Harold's description
and was carrying a baby.
1948
01:30:19,164 --> 01:30:19,915
- Hi.
1949
01:30:20,958 --> 01:30:22,126
Hi Liz, Alison.
1950
01:30:26,171 --> 01:30:28,382
He's fine.
- You bastard!
1951
01:30:28,674 --> 01:30:29,466
- He's fine.
1952
01:30:32,970 --> 01:30:33,720
- Shh.
1953
01:30:42,604 --> 01:30:44,356
Do you have any idea
what I've been through
1954
01:30:44,648 --> 01:30:46,066
in the last two days?
1955
01:30:46,358 --> 01:30:47,901
Do you have any clue?
1956
01:30:48,193 --> 01:30:49,611
- Not exactly, but I'm
sure it's been awful.
1957
01:30:49,903 --> 01:30:51,780
That's why I brought him back.
1958
01:30:52,072 --> 01:30:53,574
- How could you take him?
1959
01:30:53,866 --> 01:30:55,701
How could you do this?
1960
01:30:55,993 --> 01:30:57,161
How, Harold?
1961
01:30:57,453 --> 01:30:58,036
- I didn't.
1962
01:30:58,328 --> 01:30:59,121
- Then who did?
1963
01:30:59,413 --> 01:31:00,038
- Not me.
1964
01:31:01,039 --> 01:31:04,001
- Why would I expect you to
tell me the truth at this point?
1965
01:31:04,293 --> 01:31:05,252
How sick am I?
1966
01:31:06,712 --> 01:31:08,213
Would you take him?
1967
01:31:12,718 --> 01:31:14,303
I'll be right there.
1968
01:31:20,350 --> 01:31:24,062
I just, I have to know how
you could do this to me.
1969
01:31:24,354 --> 01:31:25,606
How, Harold?
1970
01:31:25,898 --> 01:31:27,566
- I'll tell you the truth.
1971
01:31:27,858 --> 01:31:28,442
- All right.
1972
01:31:28,734 --> 01:31:30,527
- I will.
1973
01:31:30,819 --> 01:31:32,529
- I can wait, go ahead.
1974
01:31:38,785 --> 01:31:40,871
- I'm an alien from another planet.
1975
01:31:41,163 --> 01:31:44,500
I was sent here to impregnate
a woman, and then go back.
1976
01:31:44,791 --> 01:31:46,668
But Graydon, the leader of the planet,
1977
01:31:46,960 --> 01:31:49,004
came and took the baby without telling me,
1978
01:31:49,296 --> 01:31:51,798
so I stole the baby back.
1979
01:31:52,090 --> 01:31:53,300
And now I'm here.
1980
01:31:54,301 --> 01:31:57,429
Is there any way we can start over?
1981
01:31:57,721 --> 01:32:00,516
- Is there a history of
mental illness in your family?
1982
01:32:00,807 --> 01:32:01,600
- I care about you.
1983
01:32:01,892 --> 01:32:04,311
I think our son should be with his mother.
1984
01:32:04,603 --> 01:32:05,812
- This is my son.
1985
01:32:07,064 --> 01:32:08,190
This is my son.
1986
01:32:09,483 --> 01:32:11,693
This is not our son.
1987
01:32:11,985 --> 01:32:15,322
There's no us anymore, so
there can't be any our.
1988
01:32:15,614 --> 01:32:18,200
I'm calling the police now, Harold.
1989
01:32:18,492 --> 01:32:19,993
- I can prove that I'm an alien.
1990
01:32:20,285 --> 01:32:20,827
- Oh really?
1991
01:32:21,119 --> 01:32:23,080
- I can make a bright
light come out of my nose.
1992
01:32:23,372 --> 01:32:24,456
- That must come in handy on nights
1993
01:32:24,748 --> 01:32:26,375
you can't find a flashlight.
1994
01:32:26,667 --> 01:32:28,460
- I can show you the light,
1995
01:32:28,752 --> 01:32:30,420
or you can just take my
word for it and trust me.
1996
01:32:30,712 --> 01:32:31,922
- Trust you?
1997
01:32:32,214 --> 01:32:32,923
Trust you?
1998
01:32:33,215 --> 01:32:34,299
I should trust a man that...
1999
01:32:51,316 --> 01:32:53,652
I thought I did everything
right this time,
2000
01:32:53,944 --> 01:32:58,073
but now I married an
alien from another planet.
2001
01:33:03,078 --> 01:33:04,830
- I'm sorry, I could never
give you want you want
2002
01:33:05,122 --> 01:33:06,290
because I'm not human.
2003
01:33:06,582 --> 01:33:09,459
I could never understand what love is.
2004
01:33:09,751 --> 01:33:13,714
I hope as time goes by,
you'll be able to forgive me.
2005
01:33:16,425 --> 01:33:17,175
Goodbye.
2006
01:33:29,271 --> 01:33:31,356
- Well, well, well, I was right.
2007
01:33:31,648 --> 01:33:33,692
I wasn't crazy, I was right.
2008
01:33:33,984 --> 01:33:35,235
- You got me, congratulations.
2009
01:33:35,527 --> 01:33:36,403
- Nobody believed me.
2010
01:33:36,695 --> 01:33:37,529
My wife didn't even believe me.
2011
01:33:37,821 --> 01:33:38,780
- My wife didn't believe me either.
2012
01:33:39,072 --> 01:33:39,906
What is it with these women?
2013
01:33:40,198 --> 01:33:41,867
- Don't get me started.
2014
01:33:42,159 --> 01:33:44,328
- So what are you going
to do now, take me in?
2015
01:33:44,620 --> 01:33:45,287
- To where, my bosses?
2016
01:33:45,579 --> 01:33:46,371
They fired me.
2017
01:33:46,663 --> 01:33:48,373
I could give a rats ass about them.
2018
01:33:48,665 --> 01:33:52,419
No, I just had to know the
truth for me, as a man.
2019
01:33:52,711 --> 01:33:53,503
- I hear ya.
2020
01:33:54,838 --> 01:33:56,256
- So, what was the plan?
2021
01:33:56,548 --> 01:33:57,841
World domination, right?
2022
01:33:58,133 --> 01:33:58,967
- Isn't it always?
2023
01:33:59,259 --> 01:34:00,469
- Tell me about it.
2024
01:34:00,761 --> 01:34:02,763
Look, I'm really in dutch with the wife
2025
01:34:03,055 --> 01:34:03,847
about this whole deal.
2026
01:34:04,139 --> 01:34:05,223
If you could come with me and show her
2027
01:34:05,515 --> 01:34:06,767
that whole nose light thing,
2028
01:34:07,059 --> 01:34:08,310
it would really help get
me outta the dog house.
2029
01:34:08,602 --> 01:34:09,561
- It would be my pleasure.
2030
01:34:09,853 --> 01:34:10,479
- Great, let's go.
2031
01:34:10,771 --> 01:34:12,439
- No one's going anywhere.
2032
01:34:12,731 --> 01:34:13,398
- Who's this guy?
2033
01:34:13,690 --> 01:34:15,400
- This is the leader of my planet.
2034
01:34:15,692 --> 01:34:16,610
- No shit.
2035
01:34:16,902 --> 01:34:19,196
- You've placed us in a
very difficult position.
2036
01:34:19,488 --> 01:34:20,405
You're coming with me.
2037
01:34:20,697 --> 01:34:23,325
- Uh, look, I don't know
what your thing is with him,
2038
01:34:23,617 --> 01:34:26,370
but he's gotta go see my wife first, okay?
2039
01:34:26,662 --> 01:34:27,746
- You appear intelligent,
2040
01:34:28,038 --> 01:34:30,791
but when you open your
mouth, the effect is spoiled.
2041
01:34:31,083 --> 01:34:32,626
- You might wanna drop that, chum.
2042
01:34:32,918 --> 01:34:35,170
- Fool, I have a highly evolved brain
2043
01:34:35,462 --> 01:34:37,339
that cannot only block
the most intense pain,
2044
01:34:37,631 --> 01:34:39,216
but also heal any injury sustained
2045
01:34:39,508 --> 01:34:41,134
within a matter of seconds.
2046
01:34:41,426 --> 01:34:42,803
You cannot hurt me.
2047
01:34:53,105 --> 01:34:54,272
- I always had a feeling that
2048
01:34:54,564 --> 01:34:57,567
heal any injury thing was bullshit.
2049
01:34:57,859 --> 01:34:58,485
- Harold?
2050
01:34:59,653 --> 01:35:00,821
Harold, Harold.
2051
01:35:04,658 --> 01:35:05,784
Who was that?
2052
01:35:06,076 --> 01:35:08,328
- Graydon, the leader of my planet.
2053
01:35:08,620 --> 01:35:09,579
- Is he dead?
2054
01:35:09,871 --> 01:35:11,873
- Yeah, he just killed him.
2055
01:35:12,165 --> 01:35:14,084
- Oh, well listen, there's something
2056
01:35:14,376 --> 01:35:15,919
I have to talk to you about.
2057
01:35:16,211 --> 01:35:19,339
- You know, I should
probably be running along.
2058
01:35:19,631 --> 01:35:23,593
I was just wondering if
it'd be okay if, you know,
2059
01:35:25,512 --> 01:35:26,680
can I have him?
2060
01:35:27,764 --> 01:35:29,891
- I don't see why not.
2061
01:35:30,183 --> 01:35:30,976
- Excuse me.
2062
01:35:37,649 --> 01:35:39,609
Great, nice meetin' the both of you.
2063
01:35:39,901 --> 01:35:40,527
Take care.
2064
01:35:41,820 --> 01:35:44,239
Oh, uh, to be clear, this really was
2065
01:35:44,531 --> 01:35:46,116
the leader of your planet, right?
2066
01:35:46,408 --> 01:35:48,326
Because if it's your
insurance agent or somethin',
2067
01:35:48,618 --> 01:35:50,620
I'm in some amazingly deep shit.
2068
01:35:50,912 --> 01:35:51,997
- You're okay, man.
2069
01:35:52,289 --> 01:35:52,914
- Thanks.
2070
01:36:00,130 --> 01:36:01,882
- You know what you said in the house?
2071
01:36:02,174 --> 01:36:04,593
About not knowing what love is?
2072
01:36:04,885 --> 01:36:06,845
Well, I don't know either.
2073
01:36:08,013 --> 01:36:09,389
- Really?
2074
01:36:09,681 --> 01:36:12,893
- No, but you married me, we had a child,
2075
01:36:13,894 --> 01:36:16,563
you rescued my child and
brought him back to me,
2076
01:36:16,855 --> 01:36:21,193
and then you told me the truth
about who you really are.
2077
01:36:21,485 --> 01:36:24,488
Maybe that's your way
of saying you love me?
2078
01:36:24,780 --> 01:36:25,822
- I don't know.
2079
01:36:28,158 --> 01:36:28,909
- Me too.
2080
01:36:47,260 --> 01:36:49,638
- Let us celebrate with Susan and Harold
2081
01:36:49,930 --> 01:36:52,098
as they renew their marriage vows,
2082
01:36:52,390 --> 01:36:54,893
and let this also be a
time for the rest of us
2083
01:36:55,185 --> 01:36:58,980
to reflect upon and make a
renewed spiritual commitment
2084
01:36:59,272 --> 01:37:01,650
to our own vows and unions.
2085
01:37:01,942 --> 01:37:04,736
Harold and Susan have
written their own vows.
2086
01:37:05,028 --> 01:37:07,489
Harold, would you like to start?
2087
01:37:14,788 --> 01:37:16,832
- Susan, when I married
you the first time,
2088
01:37:17,123 --> 01:37:19,501
I only did it to get into your pants.
2089
01:37:19,793 --> 01:37:21,294
Now I'm doing it because I want to spend
2090
01:37:21,586 --> 01:37:24,130
the rest of my life
getting into your pants.
2091
01:37:26,675 --> 01:37:28,134
Thank you for marrying me,
2092
01:37:28,426 --> 01:37:30,512
and I will do everything possible
2093
01:37:30,804 --> 01:37:33,056
to make you and our new son...
2094
01:37:34,933 --> 01:37:35,684
- Aaron.
2095
01:37:36,852 --> 01:37:38,395
- Aaron, very happy.
2096
01:37:40,313 --> 01:37:41,982
- That was beautiful, Harold.
2097
01:37:42,274 --> 01:37:44,568
- Thank you.
- Now you, Susan.
2098
01:37:44,860 --> 01:37:46,236
- Harold, meeting you has taught me
2099
01:37:46,528 --> 01:37:49,030
that the Universe is
one big screwed up place
2100
01:37:49,322 --> 01:37:52,325
where everyone's trying to
work out their problems,
2101
01:37:52,617 --> 01:37:54,744
but I'm honored to work them out with you
2102
01:37:55,036 --> 01:37:57,706
because I think I love you.
2103
01:37:57,998 --> 01:37:58,957
- Very cosmic.
2104
01:37:59,875 --> 01:38:03,211
And with that, I again
pronounce you man and wife.
2105
01:38:03,503 --> 01:38:05,463
You may now kiss.
2106
01:38:17,851 --> 01:38:19,144
- Well that was great.
2107
01:38:19,436 --> 01:38:20,645
That was the wedding I always wanted.
2108
01:38:20,937 --> 01:38:21,813
- I know.
2109
01:38:22,105 --> 01:38:24,149
- What a perfect day.
- Yeah.
2110
01:38:24,441 --> 01:38:26,276
- Your friends seem nice.
2111
01:38:26,568 --> 01:38:27,694
- Oh listen, I didn't wanna bring this up
2112
01:38:27,986 --> 01:38:29,738
until after the ceremony, but they want me
2113
01:38:30,030 --> 01:38:32,657
to be leader of the planet.
2114
01:38:32,949 --> 01:38:34,492
- You're kidding.
2115
01:38:34,784 --> 01:38:35,327
- No.
2116
01:38:35,619 --> 01:38:37,203
- What did you say?
2117
01:38:37,495 --> 01:38:39,706
- Well, I told them I had
to talk to you about it.
2118
01:38:39,998 --> 01:38:40,999
- That's quite an honor.
2119
01:38:41,291 --> 01:38:42,250
I'm proud of you.
2120
01:38:42,542 --> 01:38:45,879
- Thanks but, you know, it
means we'd have to move there.
2121
01:38:46,171 --> 01:38:47,005
- Oh.
2122
01:38:47,297 --> 01:38:48,506
- I mean, I guess I could commute,
2123
01:38:48,798 --> 01:38:49,799
but that's a long commute.
2124
01:38:50,091 --> 01:38:51,635
- All my friends are here.
2125
01:38:51,927 --> 01:38:54,471
- Who, Liz and Alison and what's her name?
2126
01:38:54,763 --> 01:38:56,640
- Why do you have to do that?
2127
01:38:56,932 --> 01:38:57,474
- Sorry.
2128
01:38:57,766 --> 01:38:59,392
- Besides, I know nothing
about your planet.
2129
01:38:59,684 --> 01:39:01,519
I don't know what the schools are like.
2130
01:39:01,811 --> 01:39:03,188
- We're a thousand years ahead of Earth.
2131
01:39:03,480 --> 01:39:04,356
What do you think the schools are like?
2132
01:39:04,648 --> 01:39:05,774
- Will you please slow down?
2133
01:39:06,066 --> 01:39:07,275
You're going too fast for the baby.
2134
01:39:07,567 --> 01:39:08,401
- Don't start, all right.
2135
01:39:08,693 --> 01:39:10,904
The baby was fine in
the transporter chamber.
2136
01:39:11,196 --> 01:39:14,407
Four solar systems, I never heard a peep.
2137
01:39:17,369 --> 01:39:18,870
Okay, I'll commute.
141724
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