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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,704 --> 00:00:24,408 [upbeat music playing] 2 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:30,447 So, he flirts with you all the time during these late-night rehearsals? 3 00:00:31,015 --> 00:00:31,749 No. 4 00:00:33,417 --> 00:00:36,253 You said he just loves to flirt, that he's a dog. 5 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,387 How is that my fault? 6 00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:39,456 Oh, so he does. 7 00:00:39,489 --> 00:00:40,992 No, he doesn't. 8 00:00:41,025 --> 00:00:47,330 Ah, so he flirts with every single pretty girl in the world except for you. 9 00:00:47,364 --> 00:00:48,298 [thuds] 10 00:00:48,331 --> 00:00:49,199 [clears throat] 11 00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:52,602 Have I ever given you any reason to believe I would be unfaithful? 12 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,706 No. 13 00:00:54,739 --> 00:00:56,774 Then don't you think I deserve just a little bit of trust here? 14 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,643 I wish you were never in that stupid show. 15 00:01:00,778 --> 00:01:02,714 Oh, now you're attacking the play. 16 00:01:02,747 --> 00:01:04,682 I'm not attacking anything. 17 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,551 Jack, stop. 18 00:01:08,518 --> 00:01:10,487 We have been together for three years 19 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:14,659 and I hope to be together forever and ever and ever and... 20 00:01:14,692 --> 00:01:16,794 - You do? - Yes, I do. 21 00:01:17,527 --> 00:01:18,595 I do, too. 22 00:01:18,628 --> 00:01:19,764 Okay. 23 00:01:19,797 --> 00:01:22,466 - [laughs] - Then, can we stop? 24 00:01:22,767 --> 00:01:24,367 Because I don't want to argue. 25 00:01:25,937 --> 00:01:29,539 I don't want to argue either, honey, as long as you can admit that I'm right. 26 00:01:30,074 --> 00:01:33,276 [ominous music playing] 27 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:53,590 [Jack] Dear Brett, as you probably know, tonight's performance of Wolfgang, 28 00:02:53,623 --> 00:02:59,797 in which my amazingly talented girlfriend Lisa performs the role of Mozart's wife Constanze, 29 00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:02,365 will be the final time the curtain rises on this great play. 30 00:03:03,167 --> 00:03:04,601 Let us celebrate this occasion. 31 00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:08,405 Why don't you and Sarah join me at the theater at 8:00 32 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:11,408 and then come over to our place for drinks after? 33 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:15,512 Not only can we toast Lisa in her biggest professional acting role to date, 34 00:03:15,545 --> 00:03:18,749 but also, and I confess this to you only, 35 00:03:18,783 --> 00:03:22,787 you will be witness to quite a momentous surprise as well. 36 00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:25,156 Looking forward to seeing you guys. 37 00:03:25,189 --> 00:03:27,658 Your friend, Jack. 38 00:03:27,692 --> 00:03:29,492 [sighs] Lisa. 39 00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:30,728 Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. 40 00:03:30,761 --> 00:03:32,629 I want to thank you all for... 41 00:03:32,663 --> 00:03:35,599 Thanks, guys, for coming out tonight, Sarah, Brett. 42 00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:36,667 Ah. 43 00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:38,535 Lisa. 44 00:03:38,836 --> 00:03:43,674 Okay. Lisa... [sighs] 45 00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:45,408 for the past three years that I've known you, 46 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,847 you're always positive, looking toward the future. 47 00:03:51,514 --> 00:03:52,515 So, Lisa, honey. 48 00:03:52,549 --> 00:03:54,151 [chuckles] 49 00:03:54,185 --> 00:03:55,186 [doorbell rings] 50 00:03:55,219 --> 00:03:57,621 - [Sarah] Okay, that's okay. - Wasn't it great? 51 00:03:59,690 --> 00:04:00,825 So great, amazing. 52 00:04:00,858 --> 00:04:01,759 I'm so glad you guys came. 53 00:04:01,792 --> 00:04:03,661 Okay, we're hugging. Okay. 54 00:04:04,594 --> 00:04:07,430 Yeah, we wanted to come earlier in the run. You just get so busy. 55 00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:09,667 But aren't you glad you came though? Wasn't Lisa amazing? 56 00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:11,501 - Lisa was so great. - Right? 57 00:04:11,534 --> 00:04:12,837 Amazing. Right, Sarah? 58 00:04:14,005 --> 00:04:14,906 So great. 59 00:04:14,939 --> 00:04:16,573 - Hmm. - [keys jangling] 60 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:19,877 - [sighs] - Mm? 61 00:04:22,246 --> 00:04:22,980 Coats? 62 00:04:23,948 --> 00:04:24,849 No. 63 00:04:25,950 --> 00:04:27,685 - Okay. - Ah, new sofa. 64 00:04:27,718 --> 00:04:30,821 You know, uh, that's Lisa's. [laughs] 65 00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:34,557 I'm gonna get rid of all this old stuff once we get that next new payday. 66 00:04:34,591 --> 00:04:35,726 It should be any day now, right, Brett? 67 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:36,661 [laughter] 68 00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:37,662 Okay. 69 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:38,763 [inhales] 70 00:04:38,796 --> 00:04:39,697 [thumps] 71 00:04:39,730 --> 00:04:41,198 [finger clicks] Drinks. 72 00:04:41,232 --> 00:04:43,200 - Hmm. - Jack. 73 00:04:43,234 --> 00:04:45,535 Go ahead and pop her open, it's a special occasion. 74 00:04:45,568 --> 00:04:46,469 [Brett] Mm-Hm. 75 00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:47,805 [bottle creaks, pops open] 76 00:04:48,571 --> 00:04:49,907 - Woo! - Mm-hm. 77 00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,641 - Sarah, you want some? - Mm. 78 00:04:51,676 --> 00:04:54,011 I would kill someone for a gin and tonic. 79 00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:59,684 I do not have any gin right now, but I do have white wine, I did not have a chance to chill it. 80 00:05:00,685 --> 00:05:02,585 - Terrific. - Mm. 81 00:05:02,619 --> 00:05:04,956 And boom. 82 00:05:04,989 --> 00:05:06,958 That play is long, isn't it? 83 00:05:06,991 --> 00:05:08,192 Honey. 84 00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:11,561 Yeah, no, she's right, it's definitely on the longish side. 85 00:05:11,594 --> 00:05:13,664 It's just that, it's past my bedtime 86 00:05:13,698 --> 00:05:15,866 and I have some contract negotiations in the morning. 87 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:18,568 So, we should probably just head out. 88 00:05:18,601 --> 00:05:20,705 - Well, it means a lot to Lisa that you made it out - Where's your bathroom? 89 00:05:21,638 --> 00:05:23,040 It's right around the corner there. 90 00:05:28,713 --> 00:05:30,948 - Ugh. - [both laugh] 91 00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:31,949 Where is Lisa? 92 00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:33,784 Oh, uh, she's getting changed. 93 00:05:33,818 --> 00:05:37,822 - Oh, she wants to make a grand entrance. - Yes, she is an actress. 94 00:05:37,855 --> 00:05:38,756 [laughs] 95 00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:41,025 Oh... 96 00:05:42,026 --> 00:05:43,493 - Anyway, cheers. - Cheers. 97 00:05:44,061 --> 00:05:45,963 [sighs] 98 00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:49,700 - Ooh! - [inaudible]. 99 00:05:49,734 --> 00:05:51,035 Mm-Hm. 100 00:05:51,068 --> 00:05:54,905 [both moaning] 101 00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:59,310 - Brett, I don't want to put you on the spot again... - Yeah. 102 00:05:59,343 --> 00:06:02,747 Um, but you know, this was Lisa's, like, first real acting gig. 103 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:03,914 [chuckles] Right. 104 00:06:03,948 --> 00:06:06,317 Yeah, it's not like some student film. 105 00:06:06,350 --> 00:06:07,617 - Right. - It's not an infomercial. 106 00:06:07,651 --> 00:06:11,554 - Right. - Yeah, it's like a real acting work, which she loves. 107 00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,290 Well, I mean, you were right, she was great. 108 00:06:13,324 --> 00:06:14,892 Yeah, but she was telling me on the way home, she's like, 109 00:06:14,925 --> 00:06:17,895 "Man, I am never gonna get another decent part again." 110 00:06:17,928 --> 00:06:19,030 - No. - Yeah. 111 00:06:19,063 --> 00:06:20,865 She's like, "I'm gonna be bikini girl at the pool." 112 00:06:20,898 --> 00:06:22,099 [chuckles] No. 113 00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:24,769 Yeah. "I'm gonna be a friend killed by machete at the lake." 114 00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:25,770 [laughs] No. 115 00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:26,771 She'll keep it going. 116 00:06:27,738 --> 00:06:29,572 - So great. - Yeah. 117 00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:31,675 - Yeah. - But she still doesn't have an agent. 118 00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:34,945 Jack, I'm strictly literary. You know that, I don't handle actors. 119 00:06:34,979 --> 00:06:35,946 I handle writers. 120 00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:37,882 Uh, I handle great writers. 121 00:06:37,915 --> 00:06:39,784 [laughs] Thank you. 122 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:42,720 You know, I'm not comfortable with the term genius. 123 00:06:42,753 --> 00:06:43,754 [both laugh] 124 00:06:45,222 --> 00:06:49,660 Anyway, so maybe you could, uh, I don't know, at some point tonight, 125 00:06:49,693 --> 00:06:52,730 sit down with Lisa, talk to her, maybe set up some meetings down the line. 126 00:06:53,964 --> 00:06:55,800 - Yeah, absolutely. - Yeah. 127 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:58,702 Of course, this is a really tough time in the industry right now. 128 00:06:59,904 --> 00:07:01,072 [beeps] 129 00:07:01,105 --> 00:07:02,840 - I'm just gonna... - Yeah. 130 00:07:03,974 --> 00:07:07,111 - [beeping] - [chuckles] 131 00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:11,849 Ah. [chuckles] 132 00:07:13,751 --> 00:07:15,920 - [beeps] - [doorbell rings] 133 00:07:21,425 --> 00:07:24,862 - Am I at the right place? - Paul? 134 00:07:24,895 --> 00:07:26,764 - [Brett] Hey, it's Brett. - Hey. 135 00:07:26,797 --> 00:07:27,765 Of course, man. 136 00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,167 We met at the thing, remember? 137 00:07:30,201 --> 00:07:31,669 [gasps] At the play. 138 00:07:32,136 --> 00:07:34,071 No, at the premiere for Jack's movie. 139 00:07:35,739 --> 00:07:36,974 - Right. - [Brett] Yeah, it doesn't matter. 140 00:07:37,007 --> 00:07:38,109 This is Sarah. 141 00:07:38,142 --> 00:07:39,977 Sarah, so good to see you again. 142 00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:40,945 We don't know each other. 143 00:07:42,146 --> 00:07:43,114 Hi, I'm Trina. 144 00:07:43,147 --> 00:07:44,715 Oh, yeah, my bad. 145 00:07:44,748 --> 00:07:45,883 Yeah, this is my girlfriend Trina. 146 00:07:45,916 --> 00:07:47,218 Trina this is... 147 00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:49,053 - Brett. - [Paul] Brett. 148 00:07:49,086 --> 00:07:49,887 [Trina] Hi, I'm Trina. 149 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,723 - [Paul] And, uh, this is... - Sarah. 150 00:07:52,756 --> 00:07:53,924 - This is Sarah. - Hi, I'm Trina. 151 00:07:53,958 --> 00:07:55,025 - [Trina] Hi. - Hello. 152 00:07:55,759 --> 00:07:56,694 [chuckles] 153 00:08:00,998 --> 00:08:03,000 - You have a lovely home. - I do not live here. 154 00:08:03,033 --> 00:08:04,702 Oh! 155 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:07,738 Mm. I need another one. Anybody else? 156 00:08:07,771 --> 00:08:09,940 Sorry, guys, I didn't realize I had to... 157 00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:11,809 Paul. 158 00:08:12,443 --> 00:08:14,145 - Jack. - Hi, I'm Trina. 159 00:08:15,446 --> 00:08:17,414 Oh, God! 160 00:08:17,448 --> 00:08:18,249 [laughs] 161 00:08:19,049 --> 00:08:22,419 I'm Jack. And can I get you a drink? 162 00:08:22,453 --> 00:08:25,823 - I... I'm not a huge... - She's gotta try the bourbon. You gotta try it. 163 00:08:25,856 --> 00:08:26,757 [thuds] 164 00:08:27,191 --> 00:08:28,425 [humming] 165 00:08:28,459 --> 00:08:29,693 [Brett] Here you go. 166 00:08:29,727 --> 00:08:30,661 [sighs] 167 00:08:33,030 --> 00:08:34,031 Whoa! 168 00:08:34,732 --> 00:08:35,432 Hey. 169 00:08:35,466 --> 00:08:37,034 - [laugh] - Hey. 170 00:08:37,067 --> 00:08:38,936 Hello, everyone. 171 00:08:38,969 --> 00:08:41,038 Hey! 172 00:08:41,071 --> 00:08:43,174 Oh. Thank you all so much for coming. 173 00:08:43,207 --> 00:08:46,043 [chuckles] Brett, Sarah, hi. 174 00:08:46,076 --> 00:08:48,112 - Paul. - [Paul] Lis. 175 00:08:48,145 --> 00:08:49,213 [Lisa] My Mozart. 176 00:08:49,246 --> 00:08:51,081 Oh, my Mozart. 177 00:08:51,815 --> 00:08:53,817 [groans] [Paul] God! 178 00:08:54,752 --> 00:08:58,222 - [Lisa giggles] - [Paul grans] 179 00:08:58,255 --> 00:09:01,192 Right, I almost forgot. Uh, this is my friend Trina. 180 00:09:01,225 --> 00:09:03,027 Oh, hi. 181 00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:06,830 - It is so nice to meet you. - [laughs] 182 00:09:08,098 --> 00:09:08,999 [gasps] 183 00:09:10,534 --> 00:09:12,870 - Lisa, darling, can I see you in my office, please? - Yeah. 184 00:09:12,903 --> 00:09:14,471 - [both chuckling] - Okay. 185 00:09:14,505 --> 00:09:15,406 [sighs] 186 00:09:15,439 --> 00:09:17,174 [Jack] You didn't mention Paul was coming. 187 00:09:17,975 --> 00:09:19,944 - Sure, I did. - No, you didn't. 188 00:09:20,511 --> 00:09:24,949 Jack, I definitely mentioned I invited Paul. 189 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:28,018 Lisa, I definitely would have remembered if you had. 190 00:09:28,052 --> 00:09:29,186 Okay. 191 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,988 Why is this a big deal? 192 00:09:31,021 --> 00:09:31,956 It's not. 193 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:35,092 Well, it... It certainly seems like it is. 194 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:37,361 Well, it's not. 195 00:09:37,394 --> 00:09:42,199 And you hadn't mentioned it, and now our guests and Paul are waiting. 196 00:09:44,268 --> 00:09:46,537 [sighs] 197 00:09:46,570 --> 00:09:48,939 [Paul] It's only about 12 to 14 miles per gallon 198 00:09:48,973 --> 00:09:51,141 and I'm like, "I don't care. I'll take it." 199 00:09:52,576 --> 00:09:56,113 You're Paul's wife, in the play thingy. 200 00:09:56,146 --> 00:10:00,217 - I didn't recognize you without all the big poofy hair. - Oh! 201 00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,185 [Trina] You were so good. 202 00:10:01,218 --> 00:10:02,953 Thank you, thank you. 203 00:10:02,987 --> 00:10:07,992 I love that part where you and Paul are sort of fooling around in the palace or whatever, 204 00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:09,293 and you're acting like you're a little lamb. 205 00:10:09,326 --> 00:10:12,196 Oh, yeah. [laughs] 206 00:10:12,229 --> 00:10:13,530 - Baa. - That's right. 207 00:10:13,564 --> 00:10:15,032 Awoo! 208 00:10:15,065 --> 00:10:16,133 I don't know. 209 00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:19,536 Baa. 210 00:10:19,570 --> 00:10:21,772 [Lisa] Baa. 211 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:26,076 Awoo! 212 00:10:26,110 --> 00:10:27,144 [Lisa] Baa. 213 00:10:27,177 --> 00:10:30,981 [inaudible] appear, a little lamby-bamby, pamby. 214 00:10:31,015 --> 00:10:32,049 No! 215 00:10:32,082 --> 00:10:33,350 I'm going to rush-crush. 216 00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:35,219 I'm going to gnaw-saw. 217 00:10:35,252 --> 00:10:39,256 I'm going to rip you into pieces with my fang-bangs. Ah-ha! 218 00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:41,325 [Paul] Fang-bangs. Fang-bangs. Fang-bangs. 219 00:10:42,026 --> 00:10:46,563 Awoo! I descend like moonlight unto thy pale bosom. 220 00:10:46,597 --> 00:10:50,901 That this could be the great Mozart made the sting all the worse. 221 00:10:50,934 --> 00:10:53,904 Wow, that's Salieri's line, how do you know that? 222 00:10:53,937 --> 00:10:58,876 - B-b-b-b-b-b... - Because, unfortunately, I have a photographic memory. 223 00:10:58,909 --> 00:10:59,810 That's right. 224 00:11:00,611 --> 00:11:02,046 Imagine having an argument with her. 225 00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:03,047 [chuckles] 226 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,282 I felt bad for that Salieri guy. 227 00:11:06,116 --> 00:11:09,119 - He tries so hard, you know, he just doesn't have it. - Yeah. 228 00:11:09,153 --> 00:11:12,389 Mozart acts like that and just craps out perfection. 229 00:11:12,423 --> 00:11:16,060 Well, how could Salieri not be jealous of Mozart? 230 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:19,997 [thumps] Oh, my little lamb, my Constanze-banze, you're shaking. 231 00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:23,033 You're scared. You're terrified of young Wolfie, huh? 232 00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:25,202 You're going to stain your little white wool brown. 233 00:11:25,235 --> 00:11:26,270 [beeps] 234 00:11:26,303 --> 00:11:28,005 I'm just gonna... [beeps] 235 00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:32,910 Ha. Fuck! 236 00:11:34,378 --> 00:11:35,346 [panting] 237 00:11:35,379 --> 00:11:36,080 [beeps] 238 00:11:39,383 --> 00:11:41,218 - How's that drink? - It's amazing. 239 00:11:41,251 --> 00:11:42,986 - So good, right? - So good. 240 00:11:43,987 --> 00:11:46,357 - [Jack] Here comes the charcuterie train. - How are you? 241 00:11:46,390 --> 00:11:51,228 Charcuterie, charcuterie, charcuterie, charcuterie. 242 00:11:51,261 --> 00:11:53,230 [groans] 243 00:11:53,263 --> 00:11:54,365 Anybody hungry? 244 00:11:54,398 --> 00:11:55,332 Who eats this late? 245 00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:56,266 Thank you. 246 00:11:57,301 --> 00:11:58,902 - What did you make? - Just a little something. 247 00:11:58,936 --> 00:11:59,838 Oh, my God. 248 00:11:59,870 --> 00:12:02,106 - Looks good, Jack. - [Jack] No one? Paul? 249 00:12:02,940 --> 00:12:04,108 Yeah, I can't eat that. 250 00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:06,643 - [Jack] Why the hell not? - It looks great, it really does. 251 00:12:06,678 --> 00:12:10,647 I just... I gotta watch my fat intake right now. 252 00:12:10,682 --> 00:12:12,282 I'm shooting this Reebok CrossFit commercial in a month. 253 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:13,250 [gasps] You booked that? 254 00:12:13,283 --> 00:12:15,119 [Paul] I did, yeah, it's gonna be national. 255 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:16,053 - [Lisa] Paul, that's amazing. - [Paul] Thank you. 256 00:12:16,086 --> 00:12:18,656 So, gotta keep track of my abs, you know. 257 00:12:18,690 --> 00:12:21,024 Oh, come on, like you need to worry about that. 258 00:12:21,058 --> 00:12:24,061 Well, I'm like practically vegan at this point, so that whole plate is an issue. 259 00:12:24,094 --> 00:12:25,129 [Lisa] Mm-hm. 260 00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:26,463 CrossFit and vegan. 261 00:12:26,497 --> 00:12:29,433 Do you rescue puppies from animal shelters on your off hours? 262 00:12:29,466 --> 00:12:31,368 - [laughter] - Jack! 263 00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:32,936 Yes. Oh, I'm joking. 264 00:12:32,970 --> 00:12:34,171 [Paul] No. Actually, I do. 265 00:12:34,471 --> 00:12:37,040 Right now, I'm fostering little pit-bull bitches. 266 00:12:37,074 --> 00:12:38,976 [all] Oh! 267 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,344 - Sweet. - It's cool. 268 00:12:40,377 --> 00:12:44,415 You know, I actually think it was quite an interesting choice 269 00:12:44,448 --> 00:12:47,284 to make Mozart an African-American. 270 00:12:47,317 --> 00:12:48,686 - Jack? - Whoa! - My God! 271 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:49,520 Are you serious? 272 00:12:51,155 --> 00:12:52,055 No. 273 00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:53,424 What? 274 00:12:53,457 --> 00:12:56,026 Come... What? No. 275 00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:58,462 No. I'm just considering. 276 00:12:58,495 --> 00:13:04,201 No, I was just considering the fact that Mozart, the original Mozart, 277 00:13:04,234 --> 00:13:07,471 was indeed, as you know, not black. 278 00:13:08,172 --> 00:13:09,273 Oh, fuck? 279 00:13:09,306 --> 00:13:12,342 Wow. I didn't know race was such an issue for you, Jack. 280 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:15,345 It isn't. It's not an issue, I love black Mozart. 281 00:13:15,379 --> 00:13:17,347 It's the greatest fucking idea I've ever heard in my life. 282 00:13:18,482 --> 00:13:22,286 Well, it is an amazing point, right? 283 00:13:22,319 --> 00:13:23,987 And we can... We can say that. 284 00:13:24,021 --> 00:13:26,290 I mean, all of Shipley's plays actually, right. 285 00:13:26,323 --> 00:13:31,462 I mean, Wolfgang, The Equestrian, so many of them. 286 00:13:31,495 --> 00:13:34,031 It's just... I mean... And Broadway and Hollywood, 287 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:36,366 being able to go back and forth like that just hit after hit. 288 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,201 God, if I could have been his agent. 289 00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,102 You might have made a commission. 290 00:13:39,804 --> 00:13:41,505 - Okay, that came out wrong. - It's fine. 291 00:13:44,107 --> 00:13:46,543 Jack, you're a great writer, okay. 292 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:52,115 Nope, you're a genius and I know you're not comfortable with that term. 293 00:13:52,149 --> 00:13:55,118 [laughs] 294 00:13:55,152 --> 00:13:58,355 You know, I'd be comfortable just with a single payday at this point, man. 295 00:13:58,388 --> 00:14:00,290 I mean, when are we gonna sell something? 296 00:14:00,324 --> 00:14:01,492 I got how many scripts out there? 297 00:14:01,525 --> 00:14:04,161 Oh, hey, we will, we will. You just got to believe that. 298 00:14:04,194 --> 00:14:05,229 I do. 299 00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:08,098 And everybody else in this room believes that too. 300 00:14:09,233 --> 00:14:11,068 What the fuck are we talking about, Brett? 301 00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,503 Wait, so you're a writer? 302 00:14:12,536 --> 00:14:13,437 He's a great writer. 303 00:14:13,470 --> 00:14:14,772 Oh, my God! 304 00:14:14,806 --> 00:14:16,340 What do you write, just plays? 305 00:14:16,373 --> 00:14:18,141 No, he... He actually, he writes movies. 306 00:14:18,175 --> 00:14:20,511 No, no, no, he writes great movies. 307 00:14:20,544 --> 00:14:23,180 I have one produced credit to my name. 308 00:14:23,213 --> 00:14:24,448 Alright, so far. 309 00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:26,216 What was the movie? 310 00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:27,451 [tongue clicks] Oh, God! 311 00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:32,289 - The Dead Doth Trot the Hills at Night. - Oh, my God! 312 00:14:33,156 --> 00:14:36,293 - What? - You wrote "The Dead Doth Trot the Hills at Night?" 313 00:14:37,427 --> 00:14:39,496 Yes. I mean, yeah. 314 00:14:39,530 --> 00:14:42,432 I didn't... The film didn't turn out exactly how I wanted it to turn. 315 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:43,534 I loved that movie. 316 00:14:44,702 --> 00:14:48,272 - Really? - See, Jack? You're writing affects people. 317 00:14:49,273 --> 00:14:52,175 [Trina] I... I love how the movie... It was... 318 00:14:52,209 --> 00:14:54,444 Well, it was sort of like a regular type of zombie movie 319 00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:58,115 but there was something like totally different about it, too. 320 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:00,150 Yeah, yeah, I did. 321 00:15:00,183 --> 00:15:03,620 I tried to subvert a lot of the common genre tropes, you know, 322 00:15:03,655 --> 00:15:06,858 like, uh, the whole hive mind convention, 323 00:15:06,891 --> 00:15:14,131 like why can't zombies think and feel for themselves, you know, as individuals, right? 324 00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,366 Totally. I have never laughed so much in a movie. 325 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,135 - [laughs] - What? 326 00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:19,837 Why didn't you tell me you know the person who wrote 327 00:15:19,871 --> 00:15:21,839 "The Dead Doth Trot the Hills at Night?" 328 00:15:21,873 --> 00:15:24,441 - Uh... Didn't I? - No. 329 00:15:24,474 --> 00:15:27,110 As a matter of fact, we're all kind of connected to Doth Trot. 330 00:15:27,144 --> 00:15:29,346 [Jack] I signed Jack because of that script. 331 00:15:29,379 --> 00:15:32,850 And Lisa had a small role in the film, in an important sequence, a great sequence, 332 00:15:32,884 --> 00:15:35,552 so tense and scary, so visceral, 333 00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,621 and still just a touch melancholy if you think about it, 334 00:15:37,655 --> 00:15:39,222 which is how they met. 335 00:15:39,256 --> 00:15:42,459 [Brett] And then Sarah here did the contracts at the studio for foreign sales. 336 00:15:42,492 --> 00:15:46,263 There you go. The movie did fantastic business overseas. 337 00:15:49,901 --> 00:15:51,201 He did well, right honey? 338 00:15:51,501 --> 00:15:55,172 I mean, not in terms of revenue, no. 339 00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:56,440 Sad. 340 00:15:57,541 --> 00:16:00,344 Wait, so you're like, uh, an entertainment lawyer. 341 00:16:00,644 --> 00:16:03,180 You know, I am like an entertainment lawyer. 342 00:16:03,715 --> 00:16:06,383 In fact, I am an entertainment lawyer. 343 00:16:06,416 --> 00:16:09,252 [laughs] She's underselling you. She's a shark. 344 00:16:09,286 --> 00:16:10,454 [groans] 345 00:16:10,487 --> 00:16:11,622 Watch... Watch out. 346 00:16:11,656 --> 00:16:13,156 She's gonna be a partner in no time. 347 00:16:13,190 --> 00:16:14,524 - Ooh! - It's just a job. 348 00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:16,627 I don't even like movies. 349 00:16:16,661 --> 00:16:19,296 [chuckles] [Brett] She doesn't like movies? 350 00:16:19,329 --> 00:16:21,632 - You loved "The Dead Doth Trot the Hills at Night." - I never saw it. 351 00:16:21,666 --> 00:16:22,700 She saw it. 352 00:16:23,768 --> 00:16:27,504 - But I'm sure it's awesome. - [Brett] Mm-Hm. See? 353 00:16:27,537 --> 00:16:30,507 Hey! Oh, shit, honey. I'm so sorry. 354 00:16:30,540 --> 00:16:34,645 This is Lisa's night. We're not here to talk about Doth Trot. 355 00:16:34,679 --> 00:16:36,546 We're here to talk about Lisa, right, Brett? 356 00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:39,416 Oh, right, absolutely, absolutely. 357 00:16:39,449 --> 00:16:41,919 Lisa, I just want to say, I mean... 358 00:16:41,953 --> 00:16:43,620 I mean, Sarah and I, 359 00:16:43,655 --> 00:16:49,393 we both wanted to say that we really enjoyed your performance tonight, right, Sarah? 360 00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:52,262 - Yes. - Oh, wow. 361 00:16:52,295 --> 00:16:55,532 Well, you know, it's not... It's not me up there on that stage. 362 00:16:55,565 --> 00:16:58,602 You know, I am... I am merely a vessel. 363 00:16:58,635 --> 00:17:03,273 Oh, I love this song. I love this song. 364 00:17:03,306 --> 00:17:05,743 - [slow music playing] - Okay. 365 00:17:05,777 --> 00:17:08,211 Um... No, really. 366 00:17:08,245 --> 00:17:10,948 Uh, when we were there, at one point in the show, 367 00:17:10,982 --> 00:17:13,517 Sarah and I, we both looked up on the stage 368 00:17:13,550 --> 00:17:20,557 and we were like, "Is that Lisa up there on the stage?" 369 00:17:21,391 --> 00:17:22,325 We did? 370 00:17:23,326 --> 00:17:24,796 [cackles] 371 00:17:24,829 --> 00:17:29,000 Sure was 'cause, um, I was up on that stage just trying to, you know, 372 00:17:29,033 --> 00:17:32,770 hold my own against much better actors. 373 00:17:32,804 --> 00:17:36,674 - You outclassed everyone else on that stage. - [Lisa] Oh, you stop it. 374 00:17:36,708 --> 00:17:38,176 Babe, can you, uh... 375 00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:41,679 Brett, weren't you going to, uh, set up a couple agent meetings for Lisa? 376 00:17:41,713 --> 00:17:43,513 - [Lisa] Yeah. - Yeah. 377 00:17:43,547 --> 00:17:44,982 - Well, I'm just a literary agent. - Yeah. Could you? 378 00:17:45,016 --> 00:17:45,983 - Could you do that? - I mean... 379 00:17:46,017 --> 00:17:46,951 - [Jack] Babe. - Well... 380 00:17:46,984 --> 00:17:49,619 No, I know, and you know what, if it's, um, 381 00:17:49,654 --> 00:17:52,322 if it's weird at all like you don't have to worry about... 382 00:17:52,355 --> 00:17:53,124 Lis, why don't I hook you up with my commercial agent? 383 00:17:53,157 --> 00:17:54,424 We can get drinks, I'll set it up. 384 00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:55,993 - Hey, Trina. - No. 385 00:17:56,027 --> 00:17:57,695 Brett, Brett is the man. 386 00:17:57,729 --> 00:18:00,031 Brett is the man with the plan, right, Bretty boy? 387 00:18:00,064 --> 00:18:03,801 - [beeps] - Okay, now that that's settled, good night. 388 00:18:03,835 --> 00:18:07,805 Okay. No, no, no, wait. Wait, let's have drinks, it's Lisa's night. 389 00:18:07,839 --> 00:18:09,006 Lisa. 390 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,409 [chuckles] Honey, it's okay 'cause, look, they're tired. 391 00:18:12,442 --> 00:18:14,045 - No, we're gonna have one more drink. - [Lisa] Oh! 392 00:18:14,078 --> 00:18:15,579 - [Jack] Because it's Lisa's night. - I wouldn't mind another drink. 393 00:18:15,612 --> 00:18:16,781 - It's not. - [sighs] 394 00:18:16,814 --> 00:18:18,248 [finger clicks] 395 00:18:19,549 --> 00:18:21,686 Thank you all for coming tonight 396 00:18:22,419 --> 00:18:29,392 uh, and for staying and for celebrating this wonderful occasion. 397 00:18:29,761 --> 00:18:33,497 For the three years that I have known Lisa, 398 00:18:34,331 --> 00:18:41,072 I have seen her suffer in every possible way for her art. 399 00:18:41,105 --> 00:18:42,673 [laughter] 400 00:18:42,707 --> 00:18:48,411 But, uh, no matter how hard it got, no matter how rough or tough or stumbly, 401 00:18:48,445 --> 00:18:51,481 she never quit, just always looking toward the future. 402 00:18:52,616 --> 00:18:54,551 So, uh, Lisa. 403 00:18:54,584 --> 00:18:55,552 - To Lisa. - Paul? 404 00:18:55,585 --> 00:18:57,655 [Paul] Seriously, Lis, you killed that, okay. 405 00:18:57,688 --> 00:19:00,091 I've seen maybe like half a dozen performances of Wolfgang 406 00:19:00,124 --> 00:19:02,526 - and you are the best Constanze I have ever seen. - Oh. 407 00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:04,361 - Right, Brett? - [Brett] It's alright. 408 00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:05,629 - To Lisa. - To Lisa. 409 00:19:05,663 --> 00:19:07,397 - Lisa. - To Lisa. 410 00:19:07,430 --> 00:19:08,699 To Lisa. 411 00:19:08,733 --> 00:19:13,070 How about to Mozart? The star of our play. 412 00:19:13,104 --> 00:19:15,639 - To Paul. - Well, yeah, to Paul. 413 00:19:15,673 --> 00:19:17,307 To Paul. 414 00:19:17,842 --> 00:19:18,743 To Paul. 415 00:19:20,878 --> 00:19:22,379 And to Lisa. 416 00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,782 - You already did Lisa. - Right. 417 00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:29,086 - You know, how did you two meet? - Equinox. 418 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,254 That place is pricey. 419 00:19:30,288 --> 00:19:32,657 - Well, I'm a trainer there, so... - Of course, you are. 420 00:19:32,690 --> 00:19:34,926 - Jack. - So, um, are you a trainer there, too? 421 00:19:35,726 --> 00:19:38,830 Please, I have to force myself to work out. 422 00:19:38,863 --> 00:19:45,502 But when Paul first started there as a trainer, I was like, "Oh, my God," you know. 423 00:19:45,535 --> 00:19:47,337 - [laughter] - [Brett] Yeah. 424 00:19:47,370 --> 00:19:52,910 Right away, I signed up for all his classes, uh, boot camp, ab blasters, curls for girls. 425 00:19:52,944 --> 00:19:57,614 Yeah, anything he taught, I was right there, front row, just sweating my tits off. 426 00:19:57,647 --> 00:19:58,850 - [Paul] My favorite. - Sounds romantic. 427 00:19:58,883 --> 00:20:00,885 Well, it sounds romantic now 428 00:20:00,918 --> 00:20:05,622 but at the time, I was so depressed, like, he's never gonna notice me. 429 00:20:06,489 --> 00:20:08,860 And then the whole thing was like a dream, you know. 430 00:20:08,893 --> 00:20:14,131 He, like, drifted over and he leaned in and he said, 431 00:20:14,165 --> 00:20:18,635 "It really looks like you're getting your body fat index under control." 432 00:20:18,669 --> 00:20:19,636 [laughs] 433 00:20:19,670 --> 00:20:22,740 Positive reinforcement, it's very important. 434 00:20:22,773 --> 00:20:24,141 I wanted to cry. 435 00:20:24,175 --> 00:20:25,676 [sighs] Me too. 436 00:20:25,710 --> 00:20:28,713 Mm-Hm, what is this stuff? It's so good. 437 00:20:28,746 --> 00:20:30,781 It's so good, right, amazing. So good, right, right? 438 00:20:30,815 --> 00:20:31,816 Amazing. 439 00:20:31,849 --> 00:20:34,785 Lisa, I have a confession to make. 440 00:20:34,819 --> 00:20:36,486 - Trina... - [Trina] No, no, no, no. 441 00:20:36,519 --> 00:20:37,520 Shh. 442 00:20:37,554 --> 00:20:41,859 We haven't met yet, but for the longest time, 443 00:20:41,893 --> 00:20:44,795 me and you, we were mortal enemies. 444 00:20:45,963 --> 00:20:48,498 [scoffs] Uh, why? 445 00:20:48,531 --> 00:20:50,567 - It's because of the play. - [Trina] The play thingy. 446 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,770 Brought Trina to a dress rehearsal one time, 447 00:20:52,803 --> 00:20:54,537 - she saw us kissing onstage and now this is - That's just acting. 448 00:20:54,571 --> 00:20:57,174 - The kissing isn't real. - Ugh, I hated the kissing. 449 00:20:57,208 --> 00:20:58,408 [imitating smooches] 450 00:20:59,977 --> 00:21:04,882 But then I would grill Paul like, "Wait, like, kissing her better than me?" 451 00:21:04,916 --> 00:21:07,652 - Like, "What's the deal?" - Who wants another? Brett? 452 00:21:07,685 --> 00:21:09,186 - Yes. - Yeah, please. 453 00:21:09,220 --> 00:21:10,955 You guys, you've been friends for like a decade. 454 00:21:10,988 --> 00:21:13,190 You've been through all the same acting classes 455 00:21:13,224 --> 00:21:16,894 and all the ups and downs of being an... An actor but, um... 456 00:21:16,928 --> 00:21:19,897 But still, I... I... I knew Paul. 457 00:21:20,765 --> 00:21:26,636 I knew how he flirted, you know, just made me crazy, you know. 458 00:21:26,671 --> 00:21:27,939 [laughs] 459 00:21:27,972 --> 00:21:29,472 [chuckles] 460 00:21:29,506 --> 00:21:30,540 Kill you. 461 00:21:30,573 --> 00:21:31,876 [laughs] 462 00:21:31,909 --> 00:21:35,445 Okay, you are right about one thing. 463 00:21:36,013 --> 00:21:37,547 What's that? 464 00:21:37,580 --> 00:21:40,851 Paul is a terrible flirt. 465 00:21:40,885 --> 00:21:41,986 [scoffs] 466 00:21:42,019 --> 00:21:43,921 Okay. So, I'm a flirt. 467 00:21:43,955 --> 00:21:46,589 - I mean, you can't turn it off. - I'm horrible. 468 00:21:46,623 --> 00:21:47,457 You're a dog. 469 00:21:47,490 --> 00:21:49,827 - [thuds] - Strike me down, I am your dog. 470 00:21:49,860 --> 00:21:52,595 Strike me down, Constanze-banza. 471 00:21:52,629 --> 00:21:55,632 - Constanze-banza-ranza-danza. - No. 472 00:21:55,666 --> 00:21:58,568 [Paul] Well-deserved. I know what please you as well. 473 00:21:58,601 --> 00:22:00,004 - [Lisa] No. - Oh-oh. 474 00:22:00,037 --> 00:22:02,740 [Paul] Beat me, punish me, abuse me for your pleasure. 475 00:22:02,773 --> 00:22:05,009 Stop it, Wolfie. 476 00:22:05,042 --> 00:22:08,813 Bend and be spanked pink wherein thou art already pink. 477 00:22:08,846 --> 00:22:11,614 Enough! Okay, that's disgusting. 478 00:22:11,648 --> 00:22:14,551 That's a disgusting and vulgar scene and I hate it. 479 00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:16,687 It's the worst scene in the entire play. 480 00:22:16,721 --> 00:22:17,855 - Jack. - Yes, darling? 481 00:22:18,656 --> 00:22:19,991 You're being rude. 482 00:22:20,024 --> 00:22:23,794 Am I? I think I was just making an observation about your scene. 483 00:22:23,828 --> 00:22:25,062 Jack. Take it easy, take it easy. 484 00:22:25,096 --> 00:22:27,798 Let me, uh... Let me top you off. 485 00:22:27,832 --> 00:22:30,633 Brett, I literally have to be up in four hours, we're leaving. 486 00:22:31,769 --> 00:22:32,737 You are right. 487 00:22:32,770 --> 00:22:34,839 Hey, it's been great, we really enjoyed it. 488 00:22:34,872 --> 00:22:37,640 Play was amazing. Lisa, you were so good. Yeah. 489 00:22:38,075 --> 00:22:45,282 You know, funny thing about the play, it's not about Mozart. 490 00:22:45,316 --> 00:22:47,918 [chuckles] Who do we care about? 491 00:22:47,952 --> 00:22:49,820 Who drives the action? 492 00:22:50,988 --> 00:22:52,589 Salieri. 493 00:22:52,622 --> 00:22:53,791 [sighs] 494 00:22:53,824 --> 00:22:55,592 The play's about Salieri. 495 00:22:57,228 --> 00:23:01,932 [Jack] The man who wants so badly to be a genius that he offers up his soul to God 496 00:23:02,333 --> 00:23:05,635 and that's all he cares about, that's his whole life. 497 00:23:05,669 --> 00:23:07,637 But no matter how much he sacrifices, 498 00:23:07,671 --> 00:23:12,642 he just doesn't have the talent, no matter how hard he tries. 499 00:23:12,676 --> 00:23:14,812 Salieri will never be Mozart. 500 00:23:16,947 --> 00:23:18,149 [exhales] 501 00:23:18,182 --> 00:23:23,320 Well, Jack is not really comfortable with the term genius. 502 00:23:23,354 --> 00:23:24,587 [all laugh] 503 00:23:24,621 --> 00:23:25,990 That's not funny! 504 00:23:31,829 --> 00:23:33,130 [squeaks] 505 00:23:33,831 --> 00:23:35,565 - [beeps] - Oh! 506 00:23:36,967 --> 00:23:37,902 I'm just gonna... 507 00:23:37,935 --> 00:23:41,072 [beeping continues] 508 00:23:44,641 --> 00:23:46,177 - Right. - Alright. 509 00:23:46,911 --> 00:23:48,012 [Lisa] Drive safe. Drive safe. 510 00:23:48,045 --> 00:23:51,015 - I made a pie. - Yeah, I definitely can't eat that. 511 00:23:51,048 --> 00:23:52,649 Of course, not. 512 00:23:52,683 --> 00:23:53,583 [thumps] 513 00:23:54,685 --> 00:23:55,686 [squeaks] 514 00:23:55,719 --> 00:23:58,722 [light music playing] 515 00:24:05,863 --> 00:24:11,001 You know, historically, pie throwing is met with laughter. 516 00:24:11,035 --> 00:24:16,140 - [Lisa groans] - Honey, that was hilarious. 517 00:24:16,173 --> 00:24:19,176 You embarrassed me and you yelled at me. 518 00:24:19,210 --> 00:24:21,045 Wait, when did I yell at you? 519 00:24:21,912 --> 00:24:26,050 You practically screamed at me, "That's not funny!" 520 00:24:26,083 --> 00:24:27,818 Well, you were mocking me. 521 00:24:27,852 --> 00:24:28,919 I was not. 522 00:24:28,953 --> 00:24:32,123 "He's not really comfortable with the term genius." 523 00:24:32,156 --> 00:24:35,092 You... You... You say that. You say that all the time. 524 00:24:35,126 --> 00:24:37,895 I say it as a joke, honey, you said it as an insult. 525 00:24:37,928 --> 00:24:39,163 No, I didn't. 526 00:24:39,196 --> 00:24:41,732 Ask anyone who was here tonight. 527 00:24:41,765 --> 00:24:43,701 Fine, I'm gonna call Brett right now. 528 00:24:43,734 --> 00:24:46,837 Well, your friend is just gonna go along with anything that you say. 529 00:24:46,871 --> 00:24:49,140 Well, why don't we call your friend Paul? 530 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,142 Oh, my God! 531 00:24:51,175 --> 00:24:52,943 Ask whoever you want. 532 00:24:52,977 --> 00:24:54,745 This is bullshit. 533 00:24:55,112 --> 00:24:57,114 - [both scoff] - It's not bullshit. 534 00:24:58,048 --> 00:24:59,950 It's about how you see me. 535 00:24:59,984 --> 00:25:01,719 It's about what you think of me. 536 00:25:02,186 --> 00:25:03,287 Goddammit. 537 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,789 This whole night is like a frickin' afterthought to you. 538 00:25:06,724 --> 00:25:10,694 Oh, the night we're celebrating my play wasn't centered enough around you. 539 00:25:11,061 --> 00:25:12,963 - You know, that's not what I meant. - Do I? 540 00:25:13,464 --> 00:25:14,665 I think you do. 541 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,103 I just wish we could redo this whole night, so that you could see how wrong you are. 542 00:25:19,770 --> 00:25:23,207 Yeah, I wish we can redo the whole night, so we can see how wrong you are. 543 00:25:26,911 --> 00:25:27,811 [sighs] 544 00:25:29,213 --> 00:25:32,216 [mellow music playing] 545 00:25:39,290 --> 00:25:44,828 [Jack] Dear Brett, Sarah, Paul and Trina, I'm so embarrassed. 546 00:25:44,862 --> 00:25:47,798 I feel terrible about how I acted last night. 547 00:25:47,831 --> 00:25:51,035 I can only imagine what you all must think of me right now. 548 00:25:51,068 --> 00:25:55,072 Anyway, Lisa and I talked about it and we want to have you all back right away 549 00:25:55,105 --> 00:25:59,777 so that I can apologize in person, as in tonight. 550 00:26:00,144 --> 00:26:01,879 I know you all lead busy lives 551 00:26:01,912 --> 00:26:06,483 but it's very important to Lisa and I that we get a chance to do this night over again. 552 00:26:06,517 --> 00:26:08,886 Please come over, please. 553 00:26:08,919 --> 00:26:10,487 It's really important. 554 00:26:10,521 --> 00:26:13,090 If you don't agree to come over right away, 555 00:26:13,123 --> 00:26:17,494 I think that this unpleasant memory will have a catastrophic effect. 556 00:26:17,528 --> 00:26:18,963 Thank you in advance. 557 00:26:18,996 --> 00:26:21,031 Your friend, Jack. [sighs] 558 00:26:21,065 --> 00:26:24,268 You're always looking toward the future, Lisa. 559 00:26:26,170 --> 00:26:26,904 Lisa... 560 00:26:27,905 --> 00:26:29,273 - [doorbell rings] - Real great. 561 00:26:31,842 --> 00:26:33,077 Wasn't it great? 562 00:26:33,811 --> 00:26:34,812 Can't get enough of us? 563 00:26:34,845 --> 00:26:35,879 [laughs] 564 00:26:35,913 --> 00:26:38,249 - Sarah. - No, no. Oh, God! We're hugging again. 565 00:26:38,282 --> 00:26:39,783 - [Sarah] Okay. - So glad. 566 00:26:39,817 --> 00:26:41,852 - [Sarah] What? - Hey, that you guys made it, man. 567 00:26:42,353 --> 00:26:44,121 - Aren't you glad you saw it? - Wolfgang? 568 00:26:44,154 --> 00:26:46,056 It's amazing, right? 569 00:26:46,090 --> 00:26:47,558 And wasn't Lisa amazing? 570 00:26:47,591 --> 00:26:49,026 Uh, yes, she was. 571 00:26:49,059 --> 00:26:52,162 So amazing. Right, Sarah? So amazing. 572 00:26:53,831 --> 00:26:54,365 Hey. 573 00:26:55,933 --> 00:26:57,801 - [chuckles] - Good. 574 00:26:57,835 --> 00:26:59,136 [Brett] You got another one, Jack? 575 00:26:59,169 --> 00:27:01,805 Sarah, darling, you want some bourbon? 576 00:27:02,172 --> 00:27:03,307 Gin and tonic. 577 00:27:03,340 --> 00:27:05,876 I'm so stupid, gin and tonic. 578 00:27:05,909 --> 00:27:09,913 I don't think we have any but I got your favorite, room-temperature wine. 579 00:27:10,914 --> 00:27:12,783 And it means a lot to Lisa that you came. 580 00:27:14,184 --> 00:27:15,052 Mm-Hm. 581 00:27:17,321 --> 00:27:18,889 - Bathroom. - What? 582 00:27:18,922 --> 00:27:20,190 - Gotta pee? - No. 583 00:27:21,191 --> 00:27:22,559 It's weird. 584 00:27:22,593 --> 00:27:23,460 Where is Lisa? 585 00:27:23,494 --> 00:27:27,965 She's getting dressed, changed, dressed. 586 00:27:27,998 --> 00:27:28,966 Wants to make an entrance. 587 00:27:28,999 --> 00:27:32,202 Exactly, because she is an actress after all. 588 00:27:32,236 --> 00:27:34,838 [cackles] 589 00:27:34,872 --> 00:27:36,807 Oh. Cheers. 590 00:27:37,875 --> 00:27:39,076 - Yeah. - Mm-Hm. 591 00:27:41,278 --> 00:27:42,413 Ahh. 592 00:27:47,084 --> 00:27:54,124 Brett, I hate to bring it up again, but, as you know, this is Lisa's first real acting job. 593 00:27:54,158 --> 00:27:55,292 Yeah, we talked about this. 594 00:27:55,326 --> 00:27:58,095 It's not some infomercial. It's not some student film. 595 00:27:58,128 --> 00:28:01,065 Jack, give me a break, alright, we talked about this, what, like 24 hours ago? 596 00:28:01,098 --> 00:28:03,067 - I'll make the calls. I promise. - No, no, I know, I know, yeah, I get it. 597 00:28:03,100 --> 00:28:06,036 You're strictly a lit agent and you represent great writers 598 00:28:06,070 --> 00:28:08,605 and I'm not comfortable with the term genius. 599 00:28:08,639 --> 00:28:09,606 Uh... 600 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:10,841 [sighs] 601 00:28:13,377 --> 00:28:14,345 [beeps] 602 00:28:14,378 --> 00:28:15,646 I'm just gonna... 603 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:16,980 [beeping continues] 604 00:28:17,648 --> 00:28:18,415 What's happening? 605 00:28:23,287 --> 00:28:25,989 [breathes heavily] 606 00:28:26,423 --> 00:28:27,424 [doorbell rings] 607 00:28:30,394 --> 00:28:31,895 [knock on door] 608 00:28:31,929 --> 00:28:33,230 Would you get that? 609 00:28:34,331 --> 00:28:35,265 Hey, Paul. 610 00:28:35,299 --> 00:28:37,434 How you doing? Sarah. 611 00:28:40,070 --> 00:28:42,106 [sighs] Hi, Trina. 612 00:28:42,139 --> 00:28:43,107 [sighs] 613 00:28:43,140 --> 00:28:44,908 Well, baby, come on. 614 00:28:45,409 --> 00:28:46,410 You'll be all right. 615 00:28:46,443 --> 00:28:48,979 You got it? Okay. 616 00:28:49,012 --> 00:28:50,013 Oh, not again. 617 00:28:50,047 --> 00:28:51,415 [panting] 618 00:28:52,383 --> 00:28:54,017 It's nice to see you again. 619 00:28:54,051 --> 00:28:57,054 Sorry about that, guys, I just had to... Wait a minute. 620 00:28:57,087 --> 00:29:01,358 Paul, it's so unexpectedly wonderful to see you here. 621 00:29:02,226 --> 00:29:04,928 And Trina, I'm so glad that you made it. 622 00:29:04,962 --> 00:29:07,197 - Mm. It's nice to see you again. - Jack. 623 00:29:07,231 --> 00:29:08,932 Mm. What can I get you to drink? 624 00:29:08,966 --> 00:29:09,933 Nothing. 625 00:29:09,967 --> 00:29:11,235 Really? You can have anything. 626 00:29:11,268 --> 00:29:13,036 Not true. There's no gin. 627 00:29:13,070 --> 00:29:14,905 You're right, there's no gin. 628 00:29:16,173 --> 00:29:19,143 But perhaps Brett can pour Trina some bourbon. 629 00:29:19,176 --> 00:29:21,912 - [Brett] Alright. - I will literally barf on this floor. 630 00:29:23,715 --> 00:29:26,116 Hey! 631 00:29:26,150 --> 00:29:28,018 Hello, everyone. 632 00:29:28,051 --> 00:29:29,987 Brett, hello. 633 00:29:30,020 --> 00:29:31,221 Sarah, hi. 634 00:29:31,255 --> 00:29:32,289 - Paul. - [Paul] Lisa. 635 00:29:32,322 --> 00:29:33,490 - Get over here, Paul. - Oh. 636 00:29:36,026 --> 00:29:37,995 - [groans] - Spin me. 637 00:29:38,028 --> 00:29:39,163 Okay. 638 00:29:39,196 --> 00:29:40,998 - [groans] - Again. 639 00:29:41,031 --> 00:29:42,166 [Paul] Oh, okay. 640 00:29:42,199 --> 00:29:43,300 [chuckles] 641 00:29:44,736 --> 00:29:47,304 Big hug! 642 00:29:47,337 --> 00:29:48,172 - Honey. - Yeah? 643 00:29:48,205 --> 00:29:49,339 Can I see you in my office, please? 644 00:29:49,373 --> 00:29:50,307 - Sure. - Wonderful. 645 00:29:50,340 --> 00:29:53,177 Strange you didn't mention Paul was coming. 646 00:29:53,210 --> 00:29:55,045 I specifically remember doing that. 647 00:29:55,078 --> 00:29:56,447 Ugh. It's not what you said. 648 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,315 Okay, well, that's not what you said either. 649 00:29:58,348 --> 00:30:00,350 Well, what did I say exactly? 650 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:08,358 You remember last night when, uh, Trina forgot that you were Constanze in the play thingy? 651 00:30:08,392 --> 00:30:11,528 I do. Not without my big poofy hair. 652 00:30:11,562 --> 00:30:13,731 And then Trina, you remember how he brought up that scene? 653 00:30:13,765 --> 00:30:14,965 It's a great scene. 654 00:30:14,998 --> 00:30:17,134 It's Paul and Lisa and they're just goofing around the palace. 655 00:30:17,167 --> 00:30:19,203 - Baa! - Yeah, that's a good one. 656 00:30:19,236 --> 00:30:22,139 - Baa! Baa! - That's right. 657 00:30:22,172 --> 00:30:24,341 - Paul, do you remember that? - I do. 658 00:30:24,374 --> 00:30:26,143 Baa! 659 00:30:26,176 --> 00:30:27,377 - Do it, Paul. - Come on, Paul. 660 00:30:28,145 --> 00:30:30,481 - [Lisa] Baa! - Awoo! 661 00:30:30,514 --> 00:30:33,484 - [Paul] What do my eyes do? They do appear a little... - [Lisa] No. 662 00:30:33,517 --> 00:30:34,518 ...lamby-bamby, pamby. 663 00:30:34,551 --> 00:30:37,254 I'm going to rush-crush. I'm going to gnaw-saw. 664 00:30:37,287 --> 00:30:41,225 I'm going to rip you to... Oh, we're going over the couch again... To my fang-pangs. 665 00:30:41,258 --> 00:30:43,360 Awoo! 666 00:30:43,393 --> 00:30:46,597 [Paul] I descend like moonlight unto thy pale bosom. 667 00:30:49,801 --> 00:30:52,569 That this could be the great Mozart made the sting all the worse. 668 00:30:52,603 --> 00:30:56,006 That is Salieri's line. What do you have a photographic memory or something? 669 00:30:56,406 --> 00:30:57,274 I do. 670 00:30:58,442 --> 00:31:00,143 Imagine having an argument with her. 671 00:31:01,278 --> 00:31:02,613 Right, right. 672 00:31:02,646 --> 00:31:07,150 Then I remember Trina saying she actually felt bad for Salieri 673 00:31:07,184 --> 00:31:10,187 because Salieri just doesn't have it. 674 00:31:10,220 --> 00:31:14,792 And then I made the observation that by contrast... What the hell was it? 675 00:31:14,826 --> 00:31:15,793 - [beeping] - Okay, so that thing is beeping. 676 00:31:15,827 --> 00:31:21,365 Oh, mm-hm. By contrast, Mozart is perfection. 677 00:31:21,398 --> 00:31:25,335 And then I said, how the hell can Salieri not be jealous. 678 00:31:25,870 --> 00:31:26,905 [thuds] 679 00:31:26,938 --> 00:31:30,541 However, darling, when I said that, I recall... 680 00:31:30,574 --> 00:31:36,079 Weren't you over here, Paul, just humping away on Lisa? 681 00:31:36,113 --> 00:31:38,248 - That's what I remember. - [Lisa] Paul, continue. 682 00:31:38,282 --> 00:31:41,151 [Paul] Oh, my little lamb-legged Constanze-banza-ranza. 683 00:31:41,184 --> 00:31:43,320 You're shaking, you're terrified of young Wolfie, 684 00:31:43,353 --> 00:31:45,088 you're gonna stain your little white wool brown. 685 00:31:45,122 --> 00:31:46,189 Oh! 686 00:31:46,590 --> 00:31:48,660 - [beeping continues] - Oh, Jesus! 687 00:31:50,460 --> 00:31:51,328 I'm just gonna... 688 00:31:54,331 --> 00:31:55,465 Boom. 689 00:31:58,201 --> 00:31:59,469 [mumbling] 690 00:32:01,238 --> 00:32:03,574 [groans] 691 00:32:03,607 --> 00:32:06,343 Charcuterie, charcuterie, charcuterie, charcuterie. 692 00:32:06,376 --> 00:32:07,411 - [ref closes] - You alright? 693 00:32:08,512 --> 00:32:09,613 Oh, I am fine, Paul. 694 00:32:09,646 --> 00:32:11,582 Thank you for your tremendous concern. 695 00:32:12,583 --> 00:32:15,586 [Jack] Charcuterie, charcuterie, charcuterie, charcuterie, choo-choo. 696 00:32:15,619 --> 00:32:16,854 [cackles] 697 00:32:16,888 --> 00:32:19,189 Anybody hungry? I made a charcuterie plate. 698 00:32:19,222 --> 00:32:20,591 I just ate. We just ate. 699 00:32:20,624 --> 00:32:21,993 We just ate. 700 00:32:22,026 --> 00:32:24,161 Paul, I know you can't have any because of your Reebok commercial. 701 00:32:24,595 --> 00:32:25,697 Right. 702 00:32:25,730 --> 00:32:27,097 Plus, you're a CrossFit vegan who saves puppies, yay. 703 00:32:27,130 --> 00:32:30,868 And I thought it was an interesting choice to have Mozart played 704 00:32:30,902 --> 00:32:34,204 - by an African-American. - Whoa, Jack? 705 00:32:34,237 --> 00:32:35,205 [Paul] Again, with this shit? 706 00:32:35,238 --> 00:32:36,340 No, no, no, no, no. 707 00:32:36,373 --> 00:32:38,208 No. 708 00:32:38,241 --> 00:32:41,211 [Jack] No, no, no. 709 00:32:41,244 --> 00:32:43,146 Okay, wait. Is anybody else having an out-of-body experience? 710 00:32:43,180 --> 00:32:44,481 Thank you, I thought I was losing my mind. 711 00:32:44,514 --> 00:32:46,450 - Moving on. - Okay, that's my limit. 712 00:32:46,483 --> 00:32:47,484 - Goodnight, everyone. - [Brett] Yeah, okay. 713 00:32:48,619 --> 00:32:50,253 - Wait. - Wait. 714 00:32:50,587 --> 00:32:52,090 Okay, okay, this is what's going on. 715 00:32:52,122 --> 00:32:56,493 Lisa and I had an argument last night and then to figure out who was right, 716 00:32:56,526 --> 00:32:58,495 - we decided to do over the entire night... - Yeah. 717 00:32:58,528 --> 00:32:59,296 Start to finish. 718 00:32:59,329 --> 00:33:02,599 Everything exactly the way it was. 719 00:33:03,433 --> 00:33:05,703 So that's why we're here, again. 720 00:33:05,737 --> 00:33:07,905 [both laugh] 721 00:33:07,939 --> 00:33:09,674 We probably should have told you guys. 722 00:33:09,707 --> 00:33:11,943 [laughing] 723 00:33:11,976 --> 00:33:15,479 But we were worried that you might not come. 724 00:33:15,512 --> 00:33:17,347 That's right. Get out of my way. 725 00:33:17,381 --> 00:33:19,684 Wait, wait, wait. This is interesting, right, 726 00:33:19,717 --> 00:33:23,620 Jack and Lisa are doing this to strengthen their relationship, right? 727 00:33:23,655 --> 00:33:25,555 - Right. - They're supporting each other 728 00:33:25,589 --> 00:33:26,724 and that's why we're here, isn't it? 729 00:33:27,992 --> 00:33:29,526 To support each other. 730 00:33:32,764 --> 00:33:33,665 Fine. 731 00:33:37,702 --> 00:33:39,236 Coat. 732 00:33:39,704 --> 00:33:40,604 Mm. 733 00:33:42,439 --> 00:33:45,275 - Wait, wait, wait, if we're really doing this... - Trina. 734 00:33:45,308 --> 00:33:48,345 Everything has to be exactly as it was last night, right? 735 00:33:48,378 --> 00:33:49,546 But you're sick. 736 00:33:50,614 --> 00:33:53,718 We're going to find out who's right. 737 00:33:54,584 --> 00:33:55,619 Yeah, we are. 738 00:33:56,486 --> 00:33:58,221 Ugh. I am fine. 739 00:34:01,726 --> 00:34:03,460 - What? - Get on the floor. 740 00:34:03,493 --> 00:34:04,729 - [Paul] Seriously? - [Lisa] Come on, Paul. 741 00:34:05,730 --> 00:34:07,297 Sarah, where did we leave off? 742 00:34:11,002 --> 00:34:12,770 Next, we talked about Henry Shipley. 743 00:34:12,804 --> 00:34:14,706 Almond, bite. 744 00:34:14,739 --> 00:34:16,406 [Brett] Okay, photographic memory. What did I say? 745 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,608 - Stare. - It certainly was a great play. 746 00:34:18,642 --> 00:34:22,579 Yes. And, uh, okay, I talked about what a success that guy was, 747 00:34:22,612 --> 00:34:25,382 Broadway and Hollywood, hit after hit. 748 00:34:25,415 --> 00:34:26,651 God, if I could have been his agent. 749 00:34:26,684 --> 00:34:27,652 That's not what I said. 750 00:34:27,685 --> 00:34:28,653 - Mmm... - Yes, it is. 751 00:34:28,686 --> 00:34:30,320 - Yeah. - Mm-Hm. 752 00:34:31,956 --> 00:34:33,390 Oh, yeah, I might have commented on how great Shipley's career was for a second, 753 00:34:33,423 --> 00:34:36,794 but then I went on to talk about how great Jack's script was and it is, 754 00:34:36,828 --> 00:34:39,997 - it's a great script, Jack. - Um, look, I know we're doing it like a thing here, 755 00:34:40,031 --> 00:34:44,669 but I was just wondering, who did you play in The Dead Doth Trot the Hills at Night? 756 00:34:45,535 --> 00:34:47,437 Oh, um... 757 00:34:47,471 --> 00:34:49,339 Do you remember the pharmacy sequence? 758 00:34:49,372 --> 00:34:50,742 Yeah, I mean, it's my favorite part of the whole movie. 759 00:34:50,775 --> 00:34:53,044 - Isn't it great? - So great. 760 00:34:53,077 --> 00:34:54,078 [Trina] Who were you in that? 761 00:34:54,112 --> 00:34:58,415 I was, um, topless female zombie number three. 762 00:34:58,448 --> 00:35:00,484 You got to see Doth Trot, Sarah, it's so good. 763 00:35:00,517 --> 00:35:02,352 I mean, that sequence alone, right, Trina? 764 00:35:02,385 --> 00:35:04,354 Oh, it's midnight. 765 00:35:04,387 --> 00:35:07,024 The zombies have finally reached the little pharmacy in the hills. 766 00:35:07,058 --> 00:35:09,626 And we don't know, okay, we have no idea. 767 00:35:09,660 --> 00:35:11,662 - They have no idea. - [Lisa] If there's even any more antidote left. 768 00:35:11,696 --> 00:35:14,364 - [Brett] I don't know. - Right, so is it too late for us 769 00:35:14,397 --> 00:35:16,600 to be cured of our murderous rage? 770 00:35:16,633 --> 00:35:18,635 So much tension, so much tension. 771 00:35:18,669 --> 00:35:23,507 And so, I... I kick down the pharmacy doors and I get in there. 772 00:35:23,540 --> 00:35:26,811 [Lisa] And that's when the posse of townspeople arrive. 773 00:35:26,844 --> 00:35:29,613 You frickin' zombies! Or whatever they say. 774 00:35:29,646 --> 00:35:32,049 Yeah, that was it and they're just... They're just blasting away. 775 00:35:32,083 --> 00:35:33,751 Boom, boom, boom. 776 00:35:33,785 --> 00:35:35,720 You know so that is when I take a stand, Sarah. 777 00:35:35,753 --> 00:35:39,389 - Yeah. - I walk up to the posse and I reach out my hand 778 00:35:39,422 --> 00:35:42,760 and I am covered in blood. I mean, bloody. 779 00:35:42,794 --> 00:35:46,764 My shirt is just ripped off and I look at them and I say, 780 00:35:48,132 --> 00:35:51,301 "Do we not share a common humanity?" 781 00:35:52,103 --> 00:35:53,805 - That was you. - That was me. 782 00:35:53,838 --> 00:35:55,273 [chuckles] 783 00:35:55,673 --> 00:35:57,108 [Trina] It really was an awesome line. 784 00:35:57,141 --> 00:35:58,075 Thanks. 785 00:35:58,109 --> 00:36:00,745 I mean, even hearing it just now, goose bumps. 786 00:36:00,778 --> 00:36:02,146 [chuckles] 787 00:36:02,180 --> 00:36:03,413 - Yeah, I appreciate that. - Yeah, and you know what, after that, 788 00:36:03,446 --> 00:36:06,684 the priest blew your head off with the rocket launcher, right. 789 00:36:06,717 --> 00:36:07,785 - [Paul] Yeah. - [Trina laugh] 790 00:36:08,518 --> 00:36:09,854 So funny. 791 00:36:09,887 --> 00:36:11,856 I did not write that. That was not part of the original script. 792 00:36:11,889 --> 00:36:14,391 I mean, your head just went fucking kaboom! 793 00:36:14,424 --> 00:36:15,893 There were shards of brains everywhere. 794 00:36:15,927 --> 00:36:17,295 So awesome. 795 00:36:17,327 --> 00:36:19,396 Yeah, that was the director, though. He demanded the rocket launcher. 796 00:36:19,429 --> 00:36:21,866 Yeah, which is why the movie didn't ultimately work. 797 00:36:21,899 --> 00:36:23,366 Because of a rocket launcher? 798 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,871 No, because the director didn't grasp the nuance of the fucking script. 799 00:36:29,472 --> 00:36:31,575 So, what was next? 800 00:36:31,608 --> 00:36:35,579 Brett volunteered to find you a talent agent. 801 00:36:35,612 --> 00:36:36,546 [Sarah] Yeah. You remember? 802 00:36:36,580 --> 00:36:38,548 Oh, yeah. I remember that, Brett. [laughs] 803 00:36:38,582 --> 00:36:40,818 Do you want to... Actually, do you want to just do that again? 804 00:36:40,852 --> 00:36:41,886 [Lisa] Do you want to run through that real quick? 805 00:36:41,919 --> 00:36:46,389 Um, I was like, um... Uh, sure, Lisa, I could... 806 00:36:46,423 --> 00:36:49,459 Uh, I could definitely introduce you to some talent agents. 807 00:36:49,492 --> 00:36:52,596 Well, okay, but do you really think you can do that? 808 00:36:52,629 --> 00:36:55,867 But, remember, I am just a literary agent. 809 00:36:55,900 --> 00:36:57,902 Thank you, honey. 810 00:36:57,935 --> 00:37:01,172 Uh, well, um, I'm just a literary agent. 811 00:37:01,205 --> 00:37:02,840 Right, and Paul chimes in and he says, 812 00:37:02,874 --> 00:37:05,542 "Hey, I'm gonna take you out for dinner with my agent." 813 00:37:05,575 --> 00:37:07,812 I offered to help, yes. 814 00:37:07,845 --> 00:37:09,146 Oh, yeah, and then Sarah wanted to leave. 815 00:37:09,180 --> 00:37:09,847 I was tired. 816 00:37:09,881 --> 00:37:11,048 I just wanted to give a toast. 817 00:37:11,082 --> 00:37:13,718 - And then Trina got herself another drink. - Oh, God! 818 00:37:13,751 --> 00:37:14,517 [Paul] Trina, what are you doing? 819 00:37:14,551 --> 00:37:16,453 We're gonna find out who's right. 820 00:37:16,486 --> 00:37:17,520 Yeah! 821 00:37:17,554 --> 00:37:18,923 To the dining room. 822 00:37:19,924 --> 00:37:21,893 [footsteps thumping] 823 00:37:21,926 --> 00:37:23,895 [Trina] Paul, I'm sure, you were there and I was here. 824 00:37:23,928 --> 00:37:25,562 - Okay, the hostility, you don't need that. - You were there and I was here. 825 00:37:25,595 --> 00:37:26,831 - [Paul] You don't need that. - [breathes heavily] 826 00:37:26,864 --> 00:37:29,800 - Okay, so I said... - [Lisa] Yeah. 827 00:37:30,201 --> 00:37:32,803 - Thank you all for coming... - Tch, tch, tch, tch, tch. 828 00:37:33,704 --> 00:37:36,807 Thank you all for coming out tonight. 829 00:37:37,808 --> 00:37:42,445 - Uh... - In the three years that I've known Lisa... 830 00:37:42,479 --> 00:37:43,881 Three years. Thank you, Sarah. 831 00:37:45,716 --> 00:37:48,485 In the three years that I have known Lisa... 832 00:37:48,518 --> 00:37:49,820 Lis, what was the argument about? 833 00:37:51,188 --> 00:37:53,658 Jack thought I said something that was meant to make fun of him. 834 00:37:53,691 --> 00:37:57,560 No matter how hard things got... Trying to make a toast. 835 00:37:57,594 --> 00:37:58,561 Okay. Well... 836 00:37:59,797 --> 00:38:01,598 - No matter how hard things... - [Paul] Wait, what did you say? 837 00:38:01,631 --> 00:38:03,134 We call him a genius. 838 00:38:03,167 --> 00:38:05,937 She was always optimistic about the future. That's not how you said it. 839 00:38:05,970 --> 00:38:09,907 - It is how I said it. - She was always optimistic toward the future. 840 00:38:09,941 --> 00:38:12,209 - And then Paul coming up just like last night... - Yeah. 841 00:38:12,243 --> 00:38:15,478 - And I said, Lisa... - Yes, he did interrupt, still in dream... 842 00:38:15,512 --> 00:38:18,816 - [Paul] Oh, Trina. - ...to go on and on about Lisa. 843 00:38:18,849 --> 00:38:22,653 Okay, Trina, but then you talked about how you and Paul met. 844 00:38:22,687 --> 00:38:24,822 Well, a tale as old as time itself. 845 00:38:24,855 --> 00:38:27,658 Girl falls in love with a gym instructor. 846 00:38:28,693 --> 00:38:35,700 Girl watches as gym instructor flirts with all the little hot girls in their little jog bras. 847 00:38:36,566 --> 00:38:37,935 It sounds romantic, right? 848 00:38:37,969 --> 00:38:39,971 - Trina. - Oh, I suppose I'm imagining that now, too. 849 00:38:40,004 --> 00:38:40,871 - You okay? - Mm-Hm. 850 00:38:40,905 --> 00:38:43,506 [Paul] Okay, fine, let's do this then. 851 00:38:43,540 --> 00:38:44,607 I don't want to air out our dirty laundry, 852 00:38:44,641 --> 00:38:47,244 but last night, Trina and I had an argument, too. 853 00:38:47,278 --> 00:38:48,279 Oh, yeah, about what? 854 00:38:48,312 --> 00:38:49,714 About Paul and Lisa. 855 00:38:49,747 --> 00:38:51,716 - What? - What about Paul and Lisa? 856 00:38:51,749 --> 00:38:55,987 Oh, isn't Lisa gonna be such a massive success? 857 00:38:56,020 --> 00:38:58,889 Wasn't she just so amazing in the thingy? 858 00:38:58,923 --> 00:39:01,258 - It was a toast. People say nice things sometimes. - It was my toast. 859 00:39:01,292 --> 00:39:06,529 I am Paul and I have seen this play all over the world. 860 00:39:06,563 --> 00:39:09,867 - And Lisa is by far the best poofy haired girl. - [Paul] I didn't say that. 861 00:39:09,900 --> 00:39:12,269 - [Trina] You're hung up on her, Paul, just admit it. - I just never said that. 862 00:39:12,303 --> 00:39:13,804 - I never said that. - He didn't say it like that. 863 00:39:13,838 --> 00:39:14,705 [Trina] I didn't say... I didn't say any of that. 864 00:39:14,739 --> 00:39:16,107 This is... But this is why we're here. 865 00:39:16,140 --> 00:39:18,676 This is why we're here tonight, so you can see that you're wrong. 866 00:39:18,709 --> 00:39:20,277 [Paul] Lisa, help me out. 867 00:39:20,311 --> 00:39:22,279 - Trina, you're wrong. - I'm not wrong. 868 00:39:22,313 --> 00:39:24,581 Yes, you are because Paul and I, we are just friends. 869 00:39:24,614 --> 00:39:26,616 Just friends, did you hear that? We're just friends. 870 00:39:26,649 --> 00:39:28,618 - Oh, you're just friends? - Yes, we're just friends. 871 00:39:28,652 --> 00:39:30,021 - You're just friends, are you? - We're just friends. 872 00:39:30,054 --> 00:39:31,322 - You're just friends. - That's disgusting. 873 00:39:31,355 --> 00:39:33,590 - Oh, that's really mature. - Oh, you just friends. 874 00:39:33,623 --> 00:39:35,993 - Yeah, so mature. - Oh, you just friends. You just friends. 875 00:39:36,027 --> 00:39:39,296 - Oh, my God. - [garbling] 876 00:39:39,330 --> 00:39:41,032 - Just friends, right? - You're a freak. 877 00:39:41,065 --> 00:39:42,967 - You're just friends. - This is over. 878 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,936 I don't wanna hear about this ever again, alright? 879 00:39:45,970 --> 00:39:48,072 - My mind is certainly at ease now. - This is never going to end. 880 00:39:48,105 --> 00:39:50,007 She's not going to stop, she's just not gonna stop. 881 00:39:50,041 --> 00:39:51,641 What did I do? I haven't done anything. 882 00:39:51,675 --> 00:39:54,078 Wow, okay, guess what. 883 00:39:54,111 --> 00:39:58,648 There is nothing, nothing to be jealous of. 884 00:39:58,682 --> 00:40:00,084 Oh, I love this song. 885 00:40:00,918 --> 00:40:02,086 Dance, Trina, dance. 886 00:40:02,119 --> 00:40:03,921 To the living room. 887 00:40:03,954 --> 00:40:07,158 [groovy music playing] 888 00:40:10,127 --> 00:40:12,029 No, it's not a problem. 889 00:40:12,063 --> 00:40:16,000 No, I have accepted the way that things are 890 00:40:16,934 --> 00:40:21,038 and I should actually be thanking Paul for helping me realize this about the world. 891 00:40:21,839 --> 00:40:24,875 None of us is attracted to just one person. 892 00:40:24,909 --> 00:40:26,944 I mean, let's be honest. 893 00:40:26,977 --> 00:40:29,080 There's a lot of candy out there. 894 00:40:29,980 --> 00:40:33,951 You might be with one person, but all day long, 895 00:40:33,984 --> 00:40:35,986 you find your eyes drawn to a stranger. 896 00:40:36,821 --> 00:40:39,990 A co-worker, a friend, 897 00:40:40,024 --> 00:40:45,595 or maybe someone you met at a cocktail party. 898 00:40:46,097 --> 00:40:48,365 - Mm? - Uh... Excuse me. 899 00:40:48,399 --> 00:40:50,367 Hey. Is there something I need to know here? 900 00:40:50,401 --> 00:40:54,939 No, why are you blaming me for Paul's bad behavior? Blame Paul, he is the dog. 901 00:40:54,972 --> 00:40:57,041 Awoo! 902 00:40:57,074 --> 00:40:59,143 [Paul] Strike me down, I am your dog. 903 00:40:59,176 --> 00:41:04,081 Strike me down, Constanze-panza. Constanze-panza-ranza-danza. 904 00:41:04,115 --> 00:41:05,783 No. 905 00:41:06,884 --> 00:41:09,687 [Paul] Well-deserved that you know what please as well. 906 00:41:09,720 --> 00:41:10,754 - No. - Hello. 907 00:41:10,788 --> 00:41:14,091 Beat me, punish me, abuse me for your pleasure. 908 00:41:14,125 --> 00:41:16,160 - [Lisa] Stop it, Wolfie. - I don't know what to do with my hands. 909 00:41:16,193 --> 00:41:17,795 [Paul] Or does mistress want to be beaten herself? 910 00:41:17,828 --> 00:41:18,996 Hey, Paul. 911 00:41:19,029 --> 00:41:21,098 Did you... Did you want to control Miss Equinox over here? 912 00:41:21,132 --> 00:41:22,933 Trina, I know exactly what you're doing. 913 00:41:22,967 --> 00:41:24,401 Don't worry, Paul, we're just friends. 914 00:41:24,435 --> 00:41:27,138 Bend and be spanked pink wherein thou art already pink. 915 00:41:27,171 --> 00:41:29,006 - Trina! - Alright, enough. 916 00:41:29,039 --> 00:41:32,143 I'm... I'm done. I, uh... I can't do this anymore. 917 00:41:32,176 --> 00:41:34,812 [Lisa] But we haven't gotten to the part we were arguing about. 918 00:41:34,845 --> 00:41:36,180 I don't need to. I already know what happened. 919 00:41:36,213 --> 00:41:37,848 [Lisa] No, you don't. 920 00:41:37,882 --> 00:41:41,418 You don't know, Jack, and that is why we need to redo this exactly the way it was. 921 00:41:41,452 --> 00:41:43,020 Yeah, but nobody's doing that. 922 00:41:43,053 --> 00:41:45,189 How are we supposed to get to the truth if we can't... 923 00:41:45,222 --> 00:41:48,425 I mean, Paul brings up the rocket launcher. 924 00:41:48,459 --> 00:41:52,696 Trina's just riding all over Brett and then Paul brings up the rocket launcher. 925 00:41:52,730 --> 00:41:54,899 Man, we didn't talk about any of that shit yesterday. 926 00:41:54,932 --> 00:41:57,668 - [beeping] - Oh, f... I'm just gonna... 927 00:42:00,204 --> 00:42:01,805 Oh, God. 928 00:42:04,842 --> 00:42:06,677 - [Sarah] Oh, no! - I made a pie. 929 00:42:10,281 --> 00:42:12,716 - [sighs] - I made a pie. 930 00:42:15,052 --> 00:42:16,020 I made a pie. 931 00:42:16,921 --> 00:42:18,455 I got that CrossFit commercial coming. 932 00:42:18,489 --> 00:42:19,723 Of course, you do. 933 00:42:19,757 --> 00:42:20,891 [thuds] 934 00:42:20,925 --> 00:42:24,128 [classical music playing] 935 00:42:26,497 --> 00:42:27,731 - [doorbell rings] - Coming. 936 00:42:28,232 --> 00:42:30,801 [chuckling] 937 00:42:32,102 --> 00:42:33,037 Wasn't it great? 938 00:42:33,971 --> 00:42:34,905 So great. 939 00:42:35,272 --> 00:42:36,507 Amazing. 940 00:42:36,540 --> 00:42:38,175 So great, amazing. 941 00:42:38,209 --> 00:42:39,243 So great. 942 00:42:40,110 --> 00:42:42,079 - Amazing. - [keyboard clacking] 943 00:42:44,515 --> 00:42:46,884 - I'm so glad you made it. - Okay, we're hugging. Okay. 944 00:42:46,917 --> 00:42:47,818 Okay. 945 00:42:49,153 --> 00:42:52,156 We wanted to come earlier in the run. You just get so busy. 946 00:42:52,189 --> 00:42:53,824 Aren't you glad you saw it though? 947 00:42:53,857 --> 00:42:55,526 Wasn't Lisa amazing? 948 00:42:55,559 --> 00:42:57,828 Wasn't Lisa amazing? 949 00:42:57,861 --> 00:43:00,764 - [keys jangling] - Oops! 950 00:43:00,798 --> 00:43:04,802 [classical music playing] 951 00:43:06,270 --> 00:43:07,137 Special occasion. 952 00:43:08,138 --> 00:43:10,140 Go ahead, open it up. 953 00:43:10,174 --> 00:43:11,075 [pops] 954 00:43:11,542 --> 00:43:13,177 - Woo! - [keyboard clacking] 955 00:43:13,210 --> 00:43:14,111 Woo! 956 00:43:14,979 --> 00:43:16,013 [moans] 957 00:43:16,547 --> 00:43:18,749 - [beeps] - I'm just gonna... 958 00:43:19,817 --> 00:43:21,752 - Doorbell rings. - [doorbell rings] 959 00:43:22,019 --> 00:43:23,554 Cue Paul and Trina. 960 00:43:23,587 --> 00:43:26,190 Paul, you don't remember me at all, do you? 961 00:43:26,223 --> 00:43:27,925 - Not at all. - Ah, he's finally honest. 962 00:43:27,958 --> 00:43:29,893 Guys, be serious. 963 00:43:30,561 --> 00:43:32,830 - Am I in the right place? - Am I in the right place? 964 00:43:34,598 --> 00:43:36,200 It's Brett. 965 00:43:36,233 --> 00:43:37,034 You know, we actually sat right next to each other at the premiere of Doth Trot. 966 00:43:37,067 --> 00:43:39,103 - Oh, my God! - Just let it go, man. 967 00:43:39,136 --> 00:43:40,237 - Guys. - Screw you, man. 968 00:43:40,271 --> 00:43:41,238 Right back at you, buddy. 969 00:43:41,272 --> 00:43:42,306 Guys, come on. 970 00:43:44,174 --> 00:43:45,909 Oh, hey, Paul. 971 00:43:46,277 --> 00:43:48,212 - Jack. - [Jack] So glad you made it. 972 00:43:48,245 --> 00:43:51,048 You're totally welcome even though I wasn't told you were coming. 973 00:43:51,081 --> 00:43:52,283 [Lisa] I told you, Jack. 974 00:43:52,316 --> 00:43:54,051 [laughs] 975 00:43:55,286 --> 00:43:57,288 - [doorbell rings] - Wasn't it great? 976 00:43:57,321 --> 00:43:59,857 - Lisa, was so great. - Right? 977 00:43:59,890 --> 00:44:00,725 Amazing. 978 00:44:00,759 --> 00:44:02,960 - "Right, Sarah?" - Amazing. Right, Sarah? 979 00:44:02,993 --> 00:44:04,561 - Great. - So great. 980 00:44:04,595 --> 00:44:07,798 [groovy music playing] 981 00:44:10,267 --> 00:44:11,869 [Jack] Can I get you a drink? 982 00:44:11,902 --> 00:44:13,937 [Brett] She's gotta try the bourbon. You gotta try it. 983 00:44:16,206 --> 00:44:19,109 [screams] [Jack] There she is. 984 00:44:19,143 --> 00:44:22,179 Hello, everyone. 985 00:44:22,212 --> 00:44:23,247 Thank you all so much for coming. 986 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,182 Brett, hi. Sarah, hi. 987 00:44:25,215 --> 00:44:26,116 - Paul. - Lis. 988 00:44:26,150 --> 00:44:30,154 - Thank you, Paul. - They hug, Jack seethes. 989 00:44:30,187 --> 00:44:31,322 - [shatters] - [doorbell rings] 990 00:44:32,089 --> 00:44:32,956 Wasn't it great? 991 00:44:33,624 --> 00:44:34,825 Special occasion. 992 00:44:35,159 --> 00:44:36,193 Hi, I'm Trina. 993 00:44:37,094 --> 00:44:38,095 Hi, I'm Trina. 994 00:44:38,929 --> 00:44:40,030 Hi. 995 00:44:40,064 --> 00:44:43,967 [upbeat music playing] 996 00:44:45,636 --> 00:44:46,870 [doorbell rings] 997 00:44:46,904 --> 00:44:48,405 Awoo! 998 00:44:48,439 --> 00:44:50,341 Awoo! 999 00:44:50,374 --> 00:44:51,710 Awoo! 1000 00:44:51,743 --> 00:44:55,979 - Baa! - Oh, what do my eyes [inaudible] little lamby-bamby, pamby. 1001 00:44:56,013 --> 00:44:57,314 - No! - I'm going to rush-crush. 1002 00:44:57,348 --> 00:44:58,415 I'm going to gnaw-saw. 1003 00:44:58,449 --> 00:45:01,318 I'm going to rip you into pieces with my fang-pangs. 1004 00:45:01,352 --> 00:45:03,620 I descend like moonlight upon that pale bosom. 1005 00:45:03,655 --> 00:45:06,290 That this could be the great Mozart made the sting all the worse. 1006 00:45:06,323 --> 00:45:08,992 How do you know that line? That's Salieri's line. 1007 00:45:09,026 --> 00:45:11,028 - [Lisa] Got a photographic memory or something? - I do. 1008 00:45:11,061 --> 00:45:12,629 Imagine having an argument with her. 1009 00:45:12,664 --> 00:45:15,265 - I felt bad for that Salieri guy. - [Lisa] Sure did. 1010 00:45:15,299 --> 00:45:16,500 He tries so hard, he just doesn't have it. 1011 00:45:16,533 --> 00:45:18,969 - [beeps] - You're scared of young Wolfie. You're terrified. 1012 00:45:19,002 --> 00:45:20,371 You're going to stain your little white wool brown. 1013 00:45:20,404 --> 00:45:26,977 - [beeping] - [gasping] 1014 00:45:27,010 --> 00:45:29,446 Thank you all for coming out to celebrate this... 1015 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:31,014 [Jack] It's not about Mozart. ...night. 1016 00:45:31,048 --> 00:45:32,983 No matter how much you sacrifice... 1017 00:45:33,016 --> 00:45:34,618 For three years, Lisa and I have been together... 1018 00:45:34,652 --> 00:45:36,053 Who do we care about? Who drives the action? He just doesn't have the talent. 1019 00:45:36,086 --> 00:45:40,057 Salieri. No matter how hard he tries. The play is about Salieri. 1020 00:45:40,090 --> 00:45:41,392 He just doesn't have the talent. 1021 00:45:41,425 --> 00:45:42,861 [keyboard clacking] 1022 00:45:42,893 --> 00:45:47,164 - I say, "Lisa," and that is when Paul interrupts me. - [doorbell rings] 1023 00:45:47,197 --> 00:45:48,165 Did I really? 1024 00:45:48,198 --> 00:45:49,701 You killed it, Lis. 1025 00:45:49,734 --> 00:45:55,239 And then I said, "And here's to Mozart, the star of our play. Here's to Paul." 1026 00:45:55,272 --> 00:45:56,907 - Paul. - [glasses clink] 1027 00:45:57,307 --> 00:45:58,475 To Paul. 1028 00:45:58,509 --> 00:46:01,278 [gasps] I can't drink anymore. 1029 00:46:01,311 --> 00:46:02,680 You have to drink, Trina. 1030 00:46:02,714 --> 00:46:05,048 It says "everybody drinks." 1031 00:46:06,718 --> 00:46:07,451 [Jack] Good girl. 1032 00:46:08,352 --> 00:46:11,221 - Good girl. - Wait, so you're a writer? 1033 00:46:12,222 --> 00:46:13,924 He's a great writer. 1034 00:46:14,224 --> 00:46:16,226 Oh, uh, yeah, he's a great writer. 1035 00:46:17,060 --> 00:46:17,961 Brett. 1036 00:46:18,429 --> 00:46:20,097 It's true, Jack. 1037 00:46:20,130 --> 00:46:21,932 Oh, sorry, it's true, Jack. 1038 00:46:22,332 --> 00:46:24,334 What do you write, just play thingies? 1039 00:46:25,469 --> 00:46:27,237 Uh-huh, he writes movies. 1040 00:46:28,205 --> 00:46:29,273 Oh, wow. 1041 00:46:30,007 --> 00:46:31,041 Oh, wow! 1042 00:46:32,142 --> 00:46:33,711 He writes great movies. What is wrong with you guys? 1043 00:46:33,745 --> 00:46:35,312 He writes great movies. 1044 00:46:35,345 --> 00:46:36,447 What? 1045 00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:37,981 I can't do this anymore. 1046 00:46:38,482 --> 00:46:39,450 I'm done. 1047 00:46:40,652 --> 00:46:42,286 - What are you talking about? Don't leave. - [whimpers] 1048 00:46:43,187 --> 00:46:44,455 It's going great. 1049 00:46:45,122 --> 00:46:48,392 [chuckles] Wasn't the play awesome? 1050 00:46:49,059 --> 00:46:52,262 So good, so good, so great. Oh, really? 1051 00:46:52,296 --> 00:46:56,266 Oh. I'm just trying to hold my own against much better actors. 1052 00:46:56,300 --> 00:46:59,369 [gasps] Oh, you wrote "The Dead Doth Trot", 1053 00:46:59,403 --> 00:47:02,172 or whatever the fuck the name of that movie is. 1054 00:47:02,206 --> 00:47:04,107 It was so funny. 1055 00:47:04,141 --> 00:47:06,109 [laughing] 1056 00:47:06,143 --> 00:47:07,211 It's going great, right? 1057 00:47:07,244 --> 00:47:09,546 [gasps] It gave me goose bumps, see? 1058 00:47:09,580 --> 00:47:10,682 [laughter] 1059 00:47:10,715 --> 00:47:14,551 Aren't you guys just a bunch of beautiful snowflakes? 1060 00:47:14,585 --> 00:47:18,355 - Okay, honey brave... - No, I am done being nice. 1061 00:47:18,388 --> 00:47:19,757 Wait! 1062 00:47:19,791 --> 00:47:20,892 Ouch. 1063 00:47:20,925 --> 00:47:23,761 I am only here because you forced me to be, Brett. 1064 00:47:23,795 --> 00:47:27,030 I came, I supported you and now I'm done. 1065 00:47:28,499 --> 00:47:32,503 You know, you people have no idea what work is. 1066 00:47:32,536 --> 00:47:36,774 You're like, "Do you like my little make-believe story?" 1067 00:47:36,808 --> 00:47:40,544 You know, it's not just me up there. Baa! 1068 00:47:40,577 --> 00:47:43,213 I'm merely a vessel. 1069 00:47:44,081 --> 00:47:46,350 I have an actual job. 1070 00:47:46,383 --> 00:47:47,785 I make decisions. 1071 00:47:47,819 --> 00:47:50,220 I... I... I dry clean my clothes 1072 00:47:50,254 --> 00:47:54,525 and all I want right now more than anything in the world is sleep. 1073 00:47:55,827 --> 00:47:58,395 - [sighs] - Honey, wait, please, wait, wait. 1074 00:47:58,428 --> 00:48:00,163 No more hugging. 1075 00:48:05,135 --> 00:48:06,169 [sighs] Okay. 1076 00:48:07,170 --> 00:48:08,305 She's just really tired, you know. So great. 1077 00:48:12,309 --> 00:48:14,545 [laugh] 1078 00:48:16,146 --> 00:48:17,514 - [exhales] - Damn. 1079 00:48:17,548 --> 00:48:19,082 - [beeps] - [thuds] 1080 00:48:19,583 --> 00:48:22,085 Sorry, honey. I'm just gonna... 1081 00:48:22,119 --> 00:48:25,489 [beeping continues] 1082 00:48:26,590 --> 00:48:28,525 [screaming] 1083 00:48:28,559 --> 00:48:29,459 [slams] 1084 00:48:30,193 --> 00:48:31,428 I made a pie. 1085 00:48:31,461 --> 00:48:33,530 - Why this isn't working? - I don't know. 1086 00:48:33,564 --> 00:48:34,464 [thumps] 1087 00:48:35,767 --> 00:48:40,304 [Jack] Dear Brett, Sara, Paul and Trina, over the last, 1088 00:48:40,337 --> 00:48:43,607 who knows how many nights, we have been on a search for truth. 1089 00:48:44,274 --> 00:48:45,208 Who am I? 1090 00:48:45,242 --> 00:48:47,177 What is the nature of my relationship? 1091 00:48:47,210 --> 00:48:49,546 Is change even possible? 1092 00:48:49,580 --> 00:48:53,483 We have each tirelessly pursued answers to these questions. 1093 00:48:53,517 --> 00:48:57,588 But, and I confess this to you all, we have failed. 1094 00:48:57,621 --> 00:49:03,327 However, after careful thought, I have come to an exciting realization. 1095 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:07,264 We have been unable to attain the truth we seek 1096 00:49:07,297 --> 00:49:12,235 simply because we, in the very act of reenacting our own arguments, 1097 00:49:12,269 --> 00:49:18,241 do not have the objectivity necessary for clear analytical judgment. 1098 00:49:18,275 --> 00:49:20,510 Accordingly, I have come upon a tactic 1099 00:49:20,544 --> 00:49:23,647 which should serve to facilitate this objectivity, 1100 00:49:23,681 --> 00:49:29,152 therefore, allowing for the possibility of full unfettered insight and understanding. 1101 00:49:29,186 --> 00:49:31,254 I look forward to seeing you all tonight. 1102 00:49:31,288 --> 00:49:34,391 - Your friend, Jack. - [door closes] 1103 00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:38,663 - Paul. - Jack. 1104 00:49:43,567 --> 00:49:44,468 [door closes] 1105 00:49:45,435 --> 00:49:49,172 Jack, honey, what... What's happening here? 1106 00:49:50,675 --> 00:49:51,575 Oh, God. 1107 00:49:51,608 --> 00:49:54,679 [mellow music playing] 1108 00:49:56,546 --> 00:49:58,181 Will the actors please enter? 1109 00:50:10,728 --> 00:50:12,730 - Hi. - Hi. 1110 00:50:12,764 --> 00:50:13,765 Thanks. 1111 00:50:17,467 --> 00:50:18,468 Okay, welcome. 1112 00:50:19,436 --> 00:50:21,438 As you know, you have all been summoned here 1113 00:50:21,471 --> 00:50:26,309 to audition for a new play called "The Argument." 1114 00:50:27,344 --> 00:50:30,948 I am Jack, the writer/director, 1115 00:50:30,982 --> 00:50:33,517 and I would love for each of you to say your name 1116 00:50:33,550 --> 00:50:36,754 and then tell us the character part you're reading for today. 1117 00:50:39,523 --> 00:50:42,694 I usually like to absorb the material ahead of time. 1118 00:50:42,727 --> 00:50:44,528 But sure, let's do a call. 1119 00:50:45,262 --> 00:50:47,264 [Walter] My name is Walter Howard Johnson III. 1120 00:50:47,297 --> 00:50:51,301 I'm a singer-songwriter, sculptor, sailor, chef, 1121 00:50:51,334 --> 00:50:54,271 but, most importantly, the seeker of truth. 1122 00:50:54,304 --> 00:50:56,573 - Oh, yeah. - And what part are you reading for? 1123 00:50:56,606 --> 00:50:58,575 I'm reading for Jack. 1124 00:50:58,608 --> 00:51:00,210 [laughs] 1125 00:51:01,779 --> 00:51:03,380 Thank you. Next. 1126 00:51:04,015 --> 00:51:08,720 Hi, I'm Lisa, that's my real name and the character's name, 1127 00:51:08,753 --> 00:51:12,322 which is sort of like fate, I guess you could say. 1128 00:51:12,355 --> 00:51:14,291 [laughter] 1129 00:51:14,324 --> 00:51:19,797 Anyways, I am five-seven. My measurements are 36-24-36... 1130 00:51:19,831 --> 00:51:21,799 - Why do we need to know her measurements? - Shh. 1131 00:51:21,833 --> 00:51:26,738 ...which is a true hourglass. I enjoy jet skiing, beach volleyball, 1132 00:51:26,771 --> 00:51:28,740 - and making new friends. - Oh. 1133 00:51:28,773 --> 00:51:30,307 - [Actor Lisa] Yeah. - I'm Brett. 1134 00:51:30,340 --> 00:51:34,011 And I also brought, um, some headshots and bikini shots if anyone wants one. 1135 00:51:34,045 --> 00:51:35,445 - Oh, my God. - [Trina] No, thank you. 1136 00:51:35,479 --> 00:51:36,513 I'll take one. 1137 00:51:37,949 --> 00:51:39,083 - I'm just gonna have a drink. - [Jack] Maybe we would do that later. 1138 00:51:39,117 --> 00:51:40,718 - I'll just... I'll put these right here. - Awesome. 1139 00:51:40,752 --> 00:51:42,653 Hey, uh, do I know you? 1140 00:51:42,687 --> 00:51:43,755 No, I don't think so. 1141 00:51:44,554 --> 00:51:46,623 - Mm-hm. - Okay, uh, who's next? 1142 00:51:46,657 --> 00:51:50,360 - First of all, I participate in the arts because it's political. - Oh, Jesus. 1143 00:51:50,393 --> 00:51:52,629 To challenge to the status quo is my generation's responsibility 1144 00:51:52,663 --> 00:51:54,065 and I make no apologies for that. 1145 00:51:54,098 --> 00:51:56,433 - Good for you. - Oh, my God, Jack. 1146 00:51:56,466 --> 00:51:57,467 - What? - What? 1147 00:51:57,501 --> 00:51:58,970 - What's your name? - Oh, my name is irrelevant. 1148 00:51:59,003 --> 00:52:03,473 Although I am heterosexual, I would like to dedicate my performance today 1149 00:52:03,507 --> 00:52:07,344 to my LGBTAQ brothers and sisters across the globe. 1150 00:52:07,377 --> 00:52:08,913 And for the duration of this reading, 1151 00:52:08,946 --> 00:52:12,449 I would like to be referred to as my non-binary gender identifier of Myke, 1152 00:52:12,482 --> 00:52:14,719 it's with a Y, if you can deal with that. 1153 00:52:14,752 --> 00:52:15,686 - Me? - Yeah. 1154 00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:16,821 That's really funny. 1155 00:52:16,854 --> 00:52:18,656 At first, I thought you said your name was "Irrelevant" 1156 00:52:18,689 --> 00:52:20,457 and I thought that's kind of cool name. 1157 00:52:20,490 --> 00:52:22,059 - You go, Trina. - It's Myke. 1158 00:52:22,093 --> 00:52:23,761 - Right. - Who's next? 1159 00:52:24,829 --> 00:52:27,464 Oh, um, my name is Billy 1160 00:52:27,497 --> 00:52:31,535 and I am auditioning for the role of Brett and the role of Sarah. 1161 00:52:31,568 --> 00:52:34,806 - [clapping] - Great casting. 1162 00:52:34,839 --> 00:52:36,808 Hold on. How does that even work? 1163 00:52:36,841 --> 00:52:38,341 Hey, give the kid a shot, Paul. 1164 00:52:38,375 --> 00:52:41,078 Boy, can I just say this is so exciting. 1165 00:52:41,112 --> 00:52:44,682 I mean, I've been in L.A. for not even a month and already I'm auditioning for a play. 1166 00:52:44,715 --> 00:52:46,717 [laughter] 1167 00:52:46,751 --> 00:52:49,654 Yeah, I... I told... Told my folks, um, over the phone last night 1168 00:52:49,687 --> 00:52:53,825 and they're just so pumped. [laughs] 1169 00:52:53,858 --> 00:52:55,893 - Should I sit? I should sit back, down. Yeah. - Okay. 1170 00:52:55,927 --> 00:52:58,395 - [door thuds] - [howling] 1171 00:52:58,428 --> 00:53:02,099 What up, motherfuckers? My name is D-Fuckin'- Money. 1172 00:53:02,133 --> 00:53:05,670 I'm playing motherfuckin'... Paul. 1173 00:53:07,470 --> 00:53:09,106 - Um. - Seriously, Jack? 1174 00:53:09,140 --> 00:53:12,710 What? I didn't fucking write that. Holy shit, mister. 1175 00:53:12,743 --> 00:53:14,544 I don't know, don't you think he's just a little, uh... 1176 00:53:14,578 --> 00:53:17,480 Little... Little... Little... What? Oh, man! 1177 00:53:17,514 --> 00:53:19,784 Oh, oh! A little what? 1178 00:53:19,817 --> 00:53:21,752 Little what? Little what? 1179 00:53:21,786 --> 00:53:23,587 Little what? What? Little what? Little what? 1180 00:53:23,620 --> 00:53:25,455 Say it, say it, say it, motherfucker, say it. 1181 00:53:25,488 --> 00:53:27,925 Whoa, whoa, could we just like not do the offensive language? 1182 00:53:27,959 --> 00:53:29,593 That's what I thought. 1183 00:53:31,494 --> 00:53:32,697 That's how I fucking talk. 1184 00:53:32,730 --> 00:53:34,765 So, you just went out to the hood and found the blackest... 1185 00:53:34,799 --> 00:53:36,734 - Whoa! - Oh! - Babe! 1186 00:53:36,767 --> 00:53:40,470 What? No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. 1187 00:53:40,503 --> 00:53:43,941 No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. 1188 00:53:43,975 --> 00:53:45,475 Watch your fucking mouth. 1189 00:53:45,508 --> 00:53:46,543 [sighs] 1190 00:53:46,576 --> 00:53:48,378 [sighs] 1191 00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:51,883 That's your script. And that's your seat there. 1192 00:53:51,916 --> 00:53:53,416 - Sup? - Hi. 1193 00:53:53,450 --> 00:53:54,785 Okay, let's dive right in. 1194 00:53:55,753 --> 00:53:56,654 Excuse me. 1195 00:53:58,155 --> 00:53:59,891 I was wondering if you could tell us a little bit about this production. 1196 00:53:59,924 --> 00:54:01,792 The ad on Craigslist didn't have much info. 1197 00:54:01,826 --> 00:54:05,629 - Craigslist. - Why don't we save all of these extraneous questions 1198 00:54:05,663 --> 00:54:09,700 for after all the fun stuff and get into the creative right now? What do you say, guys? 1199 00:54:09,734 --> 00:54:11,669 [Jack] Yeah? Okay, wonderful. 1200 00:54:11,702 --> 00:54:13,771 - Lisa is gonna read the stage directions. - Really? 1201 00:54:15,907 --> 00:54:19,576 This is... That's also Lisa, isn't that funny? 1202 00:54:19,609 --> 00:54:23,513 The Argument, a play in one act. 1203 00:54:23,546 --> 00:54:25,515 Lights up in the kitchen of a small, 1204 00:54:25,548 --> 00:54:28,853 tastefully appointed Spanish-styled bungalow in Hollywood, California. 1205 00:54:28,886 --> 00:54:32,823 Preparing appetizers with impressive culinary skills is Jack, 1206 00:54:32,857 --> 00:54:38,495 30, a quiet soul, clearly, a deep thinker, 1207 00:54:38,528 --> 00:54:42,800 but not without a rugged animal magnetism. 1208 00:54:42,833 --> 00:54:43,935 What? I like it. 1209 00:54:43,968 --> 00:54:45,002 I like it already. 1210 00:54:45,770 --> 00:54:47,238 Thank you. 1211 00:54:47,271 --> 00:54:50,808 The doorbell rings, Jack opens the door to find Brett, 40, in a suit. 1212 00:54:50,841 --> 00:54:51,641 Wait, 40? 1213 00:54:51,676 --> 00:54:53,010 - Brett, you are 40. - But I look 40? 1214 00:54:53,044 --> 00:54:54,812 - That's accurate, yes. - You look... - That I... That I believe... 1215 00:54:54,845 --> 00:54:55,746 - [Lisa] Anyways... - Can we just continue? 1216 00:54:55,780 --> 00:54:57,815 [inaudible] production, the part of Sarah, 1217 00:54:57,848 --> 00:55:00,550 entertainment lawyer and longtime girlfriend of Brett, 1218 00:55:00,583 --> 00:55:04,956 will be played for the entirety of the production by a sock puppet? 1219 00:55:04,989 --> 00:55:07,557 Hi, there, how's everybody doing? 1220 00:55:07,590 --> 00:55:08,793 What the hell is happening? 1221 00:55:08,826 --> 00:55:11,963 Brett and I spoke and if Sarah doesn't want to participate. 1222 00:55:11,996 --> 00:55:14,999 If Sarah doesn't want to be here, she is a sock. 1223 00:55:15,032 --> 00:55:17,534 Calling me a child, I'm not the child, she's a child. 1224 00:55:17,567 --> 00:55:19,070 - [chuckling] - [cellphone cackling] 1225 00:55:19,103 --> 00:55:23,573 Well, on that slightly aggressive note, it sure is good to meet you guys. 1226 00:55:23,606 --> 00:55:24,607 [Brett] You're a sock puppet, Sarah. 1227 00:55:24,641 --> 00:55:26,744 - [camera shutter clicks] - That's what you are. 1228 00:55:26,777 --> 00:55:29,013 You're a sock puppet. Mee, mee, mee. 1229 00:55:29,046 --> 00:55:30,848 [laughs] 1230 00:55:30,881 --> 00:55:32,283 We'll see how she likes this one, huh? 1231 00:55:32,316 --> 00:55:35,252 Okay, people. We have a lot to get through here. 1232 00:55:35,286 --> 00:55:37,487 So, uh, Jack. 1233 00:55:38,789 --> 00:55:39,824 Wasn't it great? 1234 00:55:40,958 --> 00:55:43,761 Oh, um, so great, amazing. 1235 00:55:43,794 --> 00:55:45,730 So glad you guys could make it. 1236 00:55:45,763 --> 00:55:47,298 Hey, is it cool if I take my shirt off for this? 1237 00:55:47,331 --> 00:55:48,799 - Do it. - What? 1238 00:55:48,833 --> 00:55:52,003 - I just really like to go for it as an actor. - No, man, don't. No. Don't. 1239 00:55:52,036 --> 00:55:53,603 [Jack] No, don't take your shirt off. 1240 00:55:53,636 --> 00:55:54,872 Just trying to feel my way around this. 1241 00:55:54,905 --> 00:55:56,240 Okay. Lisa. 1242 00:55:56,273 --> 00:55:58,743 - Yeah, you should take your shirt off. - I agree. Hi, I'm Trina. 1243 00:55:58,776 --> 00:55:59,744 Read the stage directions. 1244 00:55:59,777 --> 00:56:00,878 Oh. 1245 00:56:00,911 --> 00:56:02,046 Ooh, sorry. 1246 00:56:02,079 --> 00:56:04,849 Uh, Jack wraps Sarah in a warm embrace. 1247 00:56:06,117 --> 00:56:09,920 Oh, we're hugging again. Okay. 1248 00:56:09,954 --> 00:56:11,789 What can I get you guys to drink? 1249 00:56:11,822 --> 00:56:14,692 - Um, you have any bourbon? - [Walter] Yes, we do. 1250 00:56:14,725 --> 00:56:17,028 - Dude, stop. - Quiet, motherfucker! We acting. 1251 00:56:17,061 --> 00:56:18,628 Yeah, quiet! 1252 00:56:18,662 --> 00:56:20,197 Okay, moving on, Jack. 1253 00:56:20,231 --> 00:56:23,100 I actually do have a nice little bottle that I picked up for the occasion. 1254 00:56:23,134 --> 00:56:27,104 Jack selflessly offers the no less than $100 bottle of bourbon 1255 00:56:27,138 --> 00:56:28,571 to his literary agent Brett 1256 00:56:28,605 --> 00:56:31,976 despite the fact that Jack hasn't been sent out on a meeting in months, 1257 00:56:32,009 --> 00:56:33,677 which we shall learn later. 1258 00:56:33,711 --> 00:56:35,578 - Jesus, Jack. - I write what I know. 1259 00:56:35,612 --> 00:56:37,948 Hey, Brett. I don't want to put you on the spot. 1260 00:56:38,349 --> 00:56:40,718 Well, what can I do for you? 1261 00:56:40,751 --> 00:56:42,987 This was Lisa's first serious acting job. 1262 00:56:43,020 --> 00:56:43,921 Right. 1263 00:56:43,954 --> 00:56:45,656 Not some student film. 1264 00:56:45,689 --> 00:56:48,325 - [laugh] - Right. 1265 00:56:48,359 --> 00:56:50,795 - Not an infomercial. - Oh, right. 1266 00:56:50,828 --> 00:56:55,933 Not topless female zombie 3 in the movie which shall remain nameless. 1267 00:56:55,966 --> 00:56:59,737 Actual acting, which is what she loves. 1268 00:56:59,770 --> 00:57:01,505 Jack takes a deep breath, 1269 00:57:01,539 --> 00:57:05,042 for he is about to selflessly attempt to offer career support to his beloved girlfriend, 1270 00:57:05,076 --> 00:57:11,581 even though, he unconsciously knows that she will never truly appreciate his efforts. 1271 00:57:13,084 --> 00:57:16,353 Jack, can I talk to you in your office for a second? 1272 00:57:16,387 --> 00:57:18,189 - Yeah. - Not you. 1273 00:57:19,657 --> 00:57:20,691 You. 1274 00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:25,162 - What are we doing? - No, no, no, this is so good. This is helping... 1275 00:57:25,196 --> 00:57:26,697 Helping what? 1276 00:57:26,730 --> 00:57:27,965 Helping us figure out who's right. 1277 00:57:27,998 --> 00:57:29,867 About what? I can't even remember. 1278 00:57:29,900 --> 00:57:32,703 Of course, this is a really tough time in the industry right now. 1279 00:57:32,736 --> 00:57:33,838 Beep, beep, beep. 1280 00:57:33,871 --> 00:57:35,072 [thumps] 1281 00:57:35,106 --> 00:57:36,674 I'm just gonna... 1282 00:57:41,779 --> 00:57:42,847 Where the fuck he going? 1283 00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:43,747 [gasps] 1284 00:57:46,450 --> 00:57:47,885 I think we really have something here. 1285 00:57:47,918 --> 00:57:50,821 It's current, it's political, it speaks to where we are as a people. 1286 00:57:50,855 --> 00:57:52,823 - What are you doing in here? - I need to move. 1287 00:57:52,857 --> 00:57:54,125 It helps me discover the character. 1288 00:57:54,158 --> 00:57:55,793 - Yeah. - Jesus. - Jesus. 1289 00:57:55,826 --> 00:57:58,129 He opens the stove, checks the pie. 1290 00:58:01,966 --> 00:58:03,134 Um, don't do that. 1291 00:58:04,634 --> 00:58:08,205 Look, man, I'm open to direction, but at some point, this is my craft. 1292 00:58:10,107 --> 00:58:12,076 Ding-dong, motherfucking doorbell. 1293 00:58:14,178 --> 00:58:15,645 Brett, could you get that? 1294 00:58:19,984 --> 00:58:21,085 This is the right place. 1295 00:58:21,852 --> 00:58:23,187 It's Brett. 1296 00:58:23,220 --> 00:58:25,956 Yeah, yeah. You good. You good. Brett. Brett the agent, right? 1297 00:58:25,990 --> 00:58:29,860 Paul pretends to remember Brett but it's clear that he never cared enough to try. 1298 00:58:30,461 --> 00:58:33,931 [Lisa] In fact, one wonders if Paul has ever cared about anything other than himself. 1299 00:58:33,964 --> 00:58:36,800 Yes, one does wonder that, doesn't she? 1300 00:58:36,834 --> 00:58:39,904 Years ago, doesn't matter, this is Sarah. 1301 00:58:39,937 --> 00:58:41,138 Sarah, 'sup? What's up? 1302 00:58:41,172 --> 00:58:44,008 - Oh, how you doing? - Sarah, really? Come on. 1303 00:58:44,041 --> 00:58:46,944 - Hi, I'm Trina. - Excuse me? 1304 00:58:46,977 --> 00:58:50,047 Paul introduces Sarah and Brett to his Australian girlfriend 1305 00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:51,415 whose body fat index is under control. 1306 00:58:51,448 --> 00:58:55,786 Yeah, buddy, this is my girl Trina. Trina, this is Brett and... 1307 00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:58,189 Hi, I'm Trina. 1308 00:58:58,222 --> 00:59:00,191 - Hi, I'm Sarah. - [D-Money] Yeah, that'd be Sarah. 1309 00:59:00,224 --> 00:59:01,725 Yeah. 1310 00:59:01,759 --> 00:59:06,830 Hi, I'm Trina... Wait, have you proof-read this? I say that like eight times. 1311 00:59:06,864 --> 00:59:07,965 Oh, yeah, it's perfect. 1312 00:59:07,998 --> 00:59:08,999 Hello. 1313 00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:12,203 You have a lovely home. 1314 00:59:12,236 --> 00:59:14,772 I do not live here. 1315 00:59:14,805 --> 00:59:17,208 It is then that Lisa makes her grand entrance. 1316 00:59:20,044 --> 00:59:21,011 [gasps] 1317 00:59:21,845 --> 00:59:22,846 Okay. 1318 00:59:23,814 --> 00:59:24,882 Oh, yeah. 1319 00:59:24,915 --> 00:59:25,849 What? 1320 00:59:26,784 --> 00:59:29,253 [footsteps thump] 1321 00:59:35,926 --> 00:59:36,927 Hello, everyone. 1322 00:59:37,328 --> 00:59:39,763 Woo! 1323 00:59:40,264 --> 00:59:42,866 - Thank you. - What is up, baby girl? 1324 00:59:42,900 --> 00:59:45,502 - Jack. - What? You think I wrote that? 1325 00:59:45,536 --> 00:59:46,971 But did you cast her? 1326 00:59:47,004 --> 00:59:48,138 She's the only one that answered the ad, honey. 1327 00:59:48,172 --> 00:59:52,009 - Craigslist. - Thank you all so much for being here. 1328 00:59:52,543 --> 00:59:55,179 Brett, hello. Hi, Sarah. 1329 00:59:56,880 --> 00:59:59,049 - And Paul. You're Paul. - Mm-hm. 1330 00:59:59,583 --> 01:00:02,853 Trina lets loose with a long strange laugh. 1331 01:00:03,287 --> 01:00:05,289 Ho-ho-ho-ho! 1332 01:00:05,322 --> 01:00:08,292 - [laughs] - Whee, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 1333 01:00:08,325 --> 01:00:09,893 I know what a strange laugh is. 1334 01:00:09,927 --> 01:00:11,862 - Hoo-hoo-hoo! - Are you already drunk? 1335 01:00:11,895 --> 01:00:13,330 [panting] I am in hell. 1336 01:00:13,364 --> 01:00:15,232 - Lisa. - Me? 1337 01:00:15,266 --> 01:00:17,201 - Actor Lisa. - I'm also an actor, Jack. 1338 01:00:17,234 --> 01:00:19,536 - [Jack] Actor Jack. - No, not actor Jack. 1339 01:00:19,570 --> 01:00:21,205 Everything okay? 1340 01:00:21,238 --> 01:00:25,809 Oh, oh, you're Paul's wife... I mean, in the play thingy. I didn't recognize... 1341 01:00:25,843 --> 01:00:27,177 [sighs] Sorry, I get out of breath. 1342 01:00:27,211 --> 01:00:29,880 I didn't recognize you with all the big poofy hair, 1343 01:00:29,913 --> 01:00:31,282 - you were so good... - Hair. 1344 01:00:31,315 --> 01:00:32,283 It's hair. 1345 01:00:32,316 --> 01:00:33,984 - Hair. - Hair. 1346 01:00:34,018 --> 01:00:34,952 [Myke] Hair. 1347 01:00:34,985 --> 01:00:36,755 - That's what I'm saying. Hair. - Moving on. 1348 01:00:36,787 --> 01:00:41,992 I love that part where you and Paul are sort of fooling around in the library or whatever, 1349 01:00:42,026 --> 01:00:44,595 and you're acting like a little mouse. 1350 01:00:44,628 --> 01:00:46,030 - Lamb. - Lamb. 1351 01:00:46,063 --> 01:00:47,766 Did I say mouse? 1352 01:00:47,798 --> 01:00:51,602 Lisa and Paul begin to act out the scene in question with Lisa's superior acting skills 1353 01:00:51,635 --> 01:00:53,203 basically carrying the scene. 1354 01:00:53,937 --> 01:00:58,175 Baa! Baa! Baa! Baa! 1355 01:00:58,208 --> 01:01:02,179 - Awoo! - Baa! 1356 01:01:02,212 --> 01:01:06,617 Oh, what do my eyes do they appear, a little lamby-bamby, pamby. 1357 01:01:06,651 --> 01:01:09,053 Little... What the fuck is this shit, man? 1358 01:01:09,086 --> 01:01:09,887 Yeah, what is this shit? 1359 01:01:09,920 --> 01:01:11,121 That's the one part I didn't write. 1360 01:01:11,155 --> 01:01:13,957 - [laughs] - [Actor Lisa] I'm sorry. I have a quick question? 1361 01:01:13,991 --> 01:01:17,027 - So, I am living with Jack. - Mm-Hm. 1362 01:01:17,061 --> 01:01:20,331 Okay? But I also have a thing with this Paul character, right? 1363 01:01:21,065 --> 01:01:22,266 [all gasp] 1364 01:01:22,299 --> 01:01:23,934 - I'm just confused. - [Lisa] Oh, my God. 1365 01:01:23,967 --> 01:01:26,270 You know, that's really interesting, it's a... That's an interesting observation. 1366 01:01:26,303 --> 01:01:29,206 I can see how that's one interpretation of it. 1367 01:01:29,239 --> 01:01:32,343 - [clatters] I'm sorry, Herr Direktor. - Ooh, hey. 1368 01:01:32,376 --> 01:01:35,245 - But could I please talk to you in our office? - Yes, darling. 1369 01:01:37,114 --> 01:01:39,049 Why? 1370 01:01:40,017 --> 01:01:42,386 Not really comfortable with the term genius. 1371 01:01:42,419 --> 01:01:47,224 It was done in the wrong spirit; it was mocking and I apologize. 1372 01:01:47,257 --> 01:01:49,960 You know, you shouldn't say you're wrong if you don't really believe it. 1373 01:01:49,993 --> 01:01:51,261 [footsteps thumping] 1374 01:01:52,563 --> 01:01:55,099 Quick note, all this lamby-pamby stuff, you gotta cut it. 1375 01:01:55,132 --> 01:01:57,301 It's too wordy. It's too weird. It's not grabbing me. 1376 01:01:57,334 --> 01:01:58,335 Get out. 1377 01:01:59,436 --> 01:02:02,973 He takes a large charcuterie plate from the fridge. 1378 01:02:05,710 --> 01:02:06,443 [sighs] 1379 01:02:07,177 --> 01:02:10,381 [clatters] 1380 01:02:10,414 --> 01:02:11,348 Don't do that. 1381 01:02:11,382 --> 01:02:12,983 Hey, you wrote it. 1382 01:02:13,016 --> 01:02:16,019 [light music playing] 1383 01:02:23,293 --> 01:02:24,428 Anybody hungry? 1384 01:02:25,195 --> 01:02:26,263 Who could eat this late? 1385 01:02:28,198 --> 01:02:29,299 [Billy] What is it? 1386 01:02:30,300 --> 01:02:31,435 It's a charcuterie plate. 1387 01:02:31,468 --> 01:02:34,371 [Billy] It's so nice. 1388 01:02:34,405 --> 01:02:35,472 [sighs] 1389 01:02:35,506 --> 01:02:37,241 [Billy] Yeah, it looks good, Jack. 1390 01:02:37,274 --> 01:02:40,210 Paul, get in here. 1391 01:02:41,412 --> 01:02:44,014 Man, I ain't eatin' that shit. 1392 01:02:44,047 --> 01:02:47,117 At first blush, Paul's comment seems very rude, 1393 01:02:47,151 --> 01:02:49,086 but Jack chooses not to respond 1394 01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:52,189 because he's not one to prejudge another human. 1395 01:02:52,222 --> 01:02:57,961 Instead, he treats each individual with dignity and respect. 1396 01:02:57,995 --> 01:02:59,129 Why not? 1397 01:02:59,163 --> 01:03:01,231 I'm just really conscious of my fat intake right now. 1398 01:03:01,265 --> 01:03:04,301 I'm shooting a Reebok CrossFit's commercial next month. 1399 01:03:04,334 --> 01:03:06,136 [Actor Lisa] Oh, you booked that? 1400 01:03:06,170 --> 01:03:07,337 Oh, yeah, man, it's going to be National. 1401 01:03:08,338 --> 01:03:11,041 - Wow. Paul, that's amazing! - Mmm. 1402 01:03:11,074 --> 01:03:12,309 [D-Money] I know, right. 1403 01:03:12,342 --> 01:03:13,243 I gotta keep my abs. 1404 01:03:13,277 --> 01:03:15,412 [Actor Lisa] Like you ever need to worry. 1405 01:03:15,446 --> 01:03:18,148 Plus, I'm pretty much totally vegan right now, so... 1406 01:03:18,549 --> 01:03:20,451 - CrossFit and vegan. - [D-Money] Yeah. 1407 01:03:20,484 --> 01:03:23,387 Do you also rescue puppies from animal shelters in your spare time? 1408 01:03:23,420 --> 01:03:25,055 Fuck that commercial, I need a drink. 1409 01:03:25,088 --> 01:03:27,524 This is good. Escalating conflict. 1410 01:03:27,558 --> 01:03:29,092 Let's stir the pot. 1411 01:03:29,761 --> 01:03:31,195 I really feel like I should have my shirt off. 1412 01:03:31,228 --> 01:03:32,229 - Yes! - [Lisa] Yes, please. 1413 01:03:32,262 --> 01:03:33,497 - Oh, my God! Yes. - [Jack] You don't have to... 1414 01:03:34,699 --> 01:03:36,099 - what is the matter with you? - [Actor Lisa] Oh, my God. 1415 01:03:36,133 --> 01:03:38,268 That's how I know you. 1416 01:03:38,302 --> 01:03:40,137 I knew what I know and I knew it. I knew I know you. 1417 01:03:40,170 --> 01:03:43,407 The Wolfgang audition, you auditioned for that, right? 1418 01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:46,410 Oh, wow. 1419 01:03:47,044 --> 01:03:48,278 [breathes heavily] 1420 01:03:48,312 --> 01:03:50,080 Yes, I did, okay. 1421 01:03:50,113 --> 01:03:51,982 [Actor Lisa] Did you book that part? 1422 01:03:52,249 --> 01:03:53,517 I did. 1423 01:03:53,550 --> 01:03:57,421 Congratulations, I mean, that is... That's huge. 1424 01:03:57,454 --> 01:04:00,491 So, you auditioned for that, too? 1425 01:04:00,524 --> 01:04:01,759 [Actor Lisa] Yeah, I did. 1426 01:04:01,793 --> 01:04:05,496 - Kind of went for like a Germany accent like this. - Mm-hm. 1427 01:04:05,529 --> 01:04:10,100 Oh, Mr. Mozart! You were so naughty, 1428 01:04:10,133 --> 01:04:15,272 I'm going to spank you on your calduffin puffin" something like that, I don't know. 1429 01:04:16,073 --> 01:04:18,041 - I hate this industry. - Moving on. 1430 01:04:18,075 --> 01:04:21,378 I bleed for my craft and what do I get? I get experimental crap. 1431 01:04:21,411 --> 01:04:24,248 - Hey. - Nothing's even happening. Where's the action? 1432 01:04:24,281 --> 01:04:27,417 Well, it certainly is an amazing play. 1433 01:04:27,451 --> 01:04:31,355 All of Shipley's plays actually; Wolfgang, the... 1434 01:04:31,388 --> 01:04:34,124 The Equestrian, he was a real success. 1435 01:04:34,157 --> 01:04:35,092 [Walter] That's interesting, Brett. 1436 01:04:35,125 --> 01:04:37,494 It seems like he's a writer beyond reproach. 1437 01:04:37,528 --> 01:04:41,064 Anyone who criticizes his work must be a total idiot. 1438 01:04:41,098 --> 01:04:44,134 On the contrary, even the great play Wolfgang 1439 01:04:44,167 --> 01:04:47,504 received some definitely mixed reviews when it premiered in London. 1440 01:04:47,538 --> 01:04:49,139 Well, that's... That's very interesting. 1441 01:04:49,172 --> 01:04:50,607 Isn't it though? 1442 01:04:50,641 --> 01:04:52,509 Whoa, whoa, hold on. We didn't talk about any of this the first night. 1443 01:04:52,543 --> 01:04:55,512 Well, this is when I lost the human Dictaphone 1444 01:04:55,546 --> 01:04:57,581 and I was doing the best that I could. 1445 01:04:57,614 --> 01:05:01,184 - Actor Jack. - Well, now I just don't know what to think. 1446 01:05:01,218 --> 01:05:06,356 Shipley is pretty good but I represent some real great writers, too. 1447 01:05:07,558 --> 01:05:10,193 - Like you, Jack. - Are you watering this shit down? 1448 01:05:10,227 --> 01:05:14,298 Uh, wait. So, you're a writer? 1449 01:05:14,331 --> 01:05:15,432 A great writer. 1450 01:05:15,465 --> 01:05:17,067 I am sorry, can I take that again? 1451 01:05:17,434 --> 01:05:20,437 A great writer. A great writer. Great writer. 1452 01:05:21,171 --> 01:05:23,540 - [Billy] Really, really, great... - Oh, yeah? 1453 01:05:23,574 --> 01:05:24,676 Well, what did you write? 1454 01:05:25,409 --> 01:05:27,411 The Dead Doth Trot the Hills at Night. 1455 01:05:27,444 --> 01:05:29,413 Oh, my God, I love that movie. 1456 01:05:29,446 --> 01:05:30,848 Is... Is that a real movie? 1457 01:05:30,882 --> 01:05:31,849 It's a great movie. 1458 01:05:31,883 --> 01:05:33,017 So, you wrote that? 1459 01:05:33,051 --> 01:05:35,185 Truly one of the most talented of all the writers ever. 1460 01:05:35,218 --> 01:05:38,088 - Okay, that's enough. - Yes, he did. 1461 01:05:38,555 --> 01:05:39,857 I was in it. 1462 01:05:39,891 --> 01:05:41,059 That is how we met. 1463 01:05:41,091 --> 01:05:44,461 Wow, I didn't realize I'd be auditioning for such talent. 1464 01:05:44,494 --> 01:05:47,297 Uh, Trina stares adoringly at her idol. 1465 01:05:47,665 --> 01:05:50,601 - Hey, Lisa. - Yeah? 1466 01:05:50,634 --> 01:05:53,470 Uh, tell me more about your experience in that movie. 1467 01:05:53,503 --> 01:05:55,907 Were you in any big dramatic scenes? 1468 01:05:55,940 --> 01:06:00,912 Do you remember the sequence at the pharmacy at the climax of act two? 1469 01:06:00,945 --> 01:06:03,347 Oh, my God! Yes, I love that part. 1470 01:06:03,380 --> 01:06:04,481 That was me. 1471 01:06:04,514 --> 01:06:06,450 Brett interjects with a show of support. 1472 01:06:06,483 --> 01:06:08,418 Sarah, you should see that movie. 1473 01:06:08,452 --> 01:06:09,620 Why should I? 1474 01:06:09,654 --> 01:06:12,389 Is the anecdote in stock? 1475 01:06:12,422 --> 01:06:14,926 - Oh, great! - So much tension. 1476 01:06:14,959 --> 01:06:20,263 So, we rush inside then the posse appears, they chase us 1477 01:06:20,297 --> 01:06:23,634 and they begin blasting away, boom, boom, boom, boom. 1478 01:06:23,668 --> 01:06:26,503 And then, I take my stance. 1479 01:06:26,536 --> 01:06:28,372 My shirt is bloody. 1480 01:06:28,405 --> 01:06:30,474 I rip it open. 1481 01:06:30,942 --> 01:06:35,345 Huh. Do we not share a human community? 1482 01:06:35,379 --> 01:06:38,515 [panting] 1483 01:06:38,548 --> 01:06:40,450 Um, you actually wrote that? 1484 01:06:40,484 --> 01:06:43,721 A common humanity. 1485 01:06:43,755 --> 01:06:46,523 And then the priest blows her head off with the rocket launcher, like, boom. 1486 01:06:46,556 --> 01:06:47,524 [laughter] 1487 01:06:47,557 --> 01:06:49,593 Okay, everybody, stop laughing. 1488 01:06:49,626 --> 01:06:50,662 It's okay, Brett. 1489 01:06:50,695 --> 01:06:53,463 Well, it's not okay. Doth Trot is a great script. 1490 01:06:53,497 --> 01:06:54,732 [Lisa] Yeah, it is a great script. 1491 01:06:54,766 --> 01:06:56,166 - [Jack] No, it's a horrible script. - [Lisa] Great script. 1492 01:06:56,199 --> 01:06:59,704 - [Brett] - Great script. - Yeah, let's just admit that it was total shit. 1493 01:06:59,737 --> 01:07:02,606 I'm a little unclear. Is my character an idiot? 1494 01:07:02,639 --> 01:07:04,709 - Yes, he is. - No, he's not. - Yes, I am. 1495 01:07:04,742 --> 01:07:06,543 I don't like watching movies. 1496 01:07:06,576 --> 01:07:08,746 - Okay, because you're such an adult. - Yeah. 1497 01:07:08,780 --> 01:07:10,948 Oh, a big fancy office, you dry clean your clothes. 1498 01:07:10,982 --> 01:07:12,549 - Brett... - [Brett] Well, you know what? 1499 01:07:12,582 --> 01:07:14,152 I would dry clean my clothes, too, 1500 01:07:14,184 --> 01:07:18,756 but I happen to be concerned about a little something called the environment. 1501 01:07:18,790 --> 01:07:20,357 Look at me, Sarah. 1502 01:07:20,390 --> 01:07:21,591 Look at me, googly eyes. 1503 01:07:21,625 --> 01:07:23,627 - Just... Look at me! - Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! 1504 01:07:23,661 --> 01:07:25,997 - What happened to us? - [Billy] Oh, God! 1505 01:07:26,030 --> 01:07:28,966 - What happened to us, Sarah! - Let's stop. 1506 01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:32,469 Yeah, man, this play sucks dick. 1507 01:07:32,502 --> 01:07:34,005 No, no, Jack. 1508 01:07:34,038 --> 01:07:37,775 We cannot let it end like this. Are you kidding? 1509 01:07:39,609 --> 01:07:41,611 [thumping] 1510 01:07:42,612 --> 01:07:43,513 It's over. 1511 01:07:45,683 --> 01:07:47,752 No, it's not. It's not over. 1512 01:07:50,655 --> 01:07:51,588 [gasps] 1513 01:07:51,621 --> 01:07:53,290 Actor Jack, come on. 1514 01:07:53,725 --> 01:07:57,327 Well, we're not here to talk about me, this is Lisa's night, 1515 01:07:57,360 --> 01:07:58,796 - we're here to talk about Lisa. - Yeah, I'll talk to you. 1516 01:07:58,830 --> 01:08:01,565 [Billy] Sarah and I really enjoyed your wonderful performance, Lisa. 1517 01:08:01,598 --> 01:08:02,667 - I'll talk to you later, babe. - [Billy] Right, Sarah? 1518 01:08:02,700 --> 01:08:04,202 I loved it. 1519 01:08:04,234 --> 01:08:10,507 Uh, Jack... Jack lifts the glass to toast Lisa with effortless eloquence. 1520 01:08:11,408 --> 01:08:12,910 [sighs] 1521 01:08:12,944 --> 01:08:17,547 She walks in beauty like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies 1522 01:08:17,581 --> 01:08:23,520 And all that's best of dark and bright, meet in her aspect and her eyes. 1523 01:08:24,321 --> 01:08:26,623 [groans] Oh, are we serious? 1524 01:08:26,657 --> 01:08:30,293 I was surprised myself, but Sarah remembered it verbatim. 1525 01:08:30,327 --> 01:08:33,597 [D-Money] More than that, Jack. Lisa, you were the bomb. 1526 01:08:33,630 --> 01:08:35,465 Jack underselling your shit. 1527 01:08:35,499 --> 01:08:37,702 - Yeah, well, thank you, Paul. - Uh. 1528 01:08:37,735 --> 01:08:40,805 - Yeah, there's some definite heat going on right now. - I know. 1529 01:08:41,571 --> 01:08:42,372 [D-Money] Heat right here too, baby. 1530 01:08:43,573 --> 01:08:45,743 So how did you and Trina meet, Paul? 1531 01:08:45,777 --> 01:08:50,715 At a gym because what I care about most in my life is my abs and my glutes. 1532 01:08:50,748 --> 01:08:52,382 - [laughs] - Okay, I never said that. 1533 01:08:52,415 --> 01:08:53,517 I'm not a writer. 1534 01:08:53,550 --> 01:08:55,418 [whimpers] 1535 01:08:56,087 --> 01:08:57,255 I'm a joke. 1536 01:08:57,287 --> 01:09:01,092 Everybody flirts, everybody wants to bone all the time. 1537 01:09:01,125 --> 01:09:02,894 Okay, wait, is that like sort of the message of this play? 1538 01:09:02,927 --> 01:09:06,764 Because I'm just feeling like my character really wants to connect with the kid over here. 1539 01:09:06,798 --> 01:09:09,066 - [Actor Lisa] Oh, you felt that, too? - [Myke] Yeah, 100%. 1540 01:09:09,100 --> 01:09:10,768 I knew it, it's obvious. 1541 01:09:10,802 --> 01:09:12,804 - I should kick your ass. - [Brett] I'm standing right here. 1542 01:09:12,837 --> 01:09:14,504 - You a dick, Brett. - I have a dick, Paul. 1543 01:09:14,538 --> 01:09:16,606 Hey, hey, listen, we all have dicks alright. 1544 01:09:16,640 --> 01:09:19,844 Paul, you just shush your mouth. 1545 01:09:20,477 --> 01:09:22,412 And Brett, here, have a bit of shush. 1546 01:09:22,445 --> 01:09:23,681 [Trina] There you go. 1547 01:09:23,714 --> 01:09:25,716 - You like that, don't you? - Mm-hm. 1548 01:09:25,750 --> 01:09:27,819 - Give it a rest, Paul. - [Brett] Alright, Paul. 1549 01:09:27,852 --> 01:09:29,086 - [Paul] Alright, Brett. - [Brett] Alright, Paul. 1550 01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:30,121 - Alright, Brett. - [Brett] Paul. 1551 01:09:30,154 --> 01:09:31,823 - [Myke] Wait, okay. I'm sorry. - Alright, Paul. 1552 01:09:31,856 --> 01:09:35,760 Actor Trina begins to dance seductively. 1553 01:09:35,793 --> 01:09:38,395 - Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me. - I'll... I'll dance. 1554 01:09:38,428 --> 01:09:39,797 [laughs] 1555 01:09:39,831 --> 01:09:41,699 You should've learned a trade, Jack. 1556 01:09:42,599 --> 01:09:45,368 - [whimpers] - Hey, hold on a damn minute. 1557 01:09:45,736 --> 01:09:46,938 Is there something I should know here? 1558 01:09:47,705 --> 01:09:49,707 I didn't do anything wrong. 1559 01:09:49,740 --> 01:09:52,310 Yeah, right. What about the date? 1560 01:09:53,744 --> 01:09:54,745 What? 1561 01:09:56,881 --> 01:09:59,116 Be honest, Lisa. 1562 01:09:59,150 --> 01:10:00,550 Um... 1563 01:10:03,888 --> 01:10:07,692 Yes, Paul and I went out once. 1564 01:10:08,458 --> 01:10:09,593 [Myke] Oh, yeah. I saw that coming. 1565 01:10:09,626 --> 01:10:10,895 - [Billy] Yeah, that's not bad. - It wouldn't be obviously. 1566 01:10:10,928 --> 01:10:11,929 I got that. 1567 01:10:11,963 --> 01:10:13,731 - I mean, the energy... - I didn't see that coming. 1568 01:10:14,598 --> 01:10:16,167 Everything's over. It's over. 1569 01:10:16,200 --> 01:10:17,400 No. No. 1570 01:10:17,434 --> 01:10:20,171 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1571 01:10:20,204 --> 01:10:21,873 No. No. 1572 01:10:21,906 --> 01:10:27,912 No, it is not over because it was one time, a long time ago and nothing happened. 1573 01:10:28,813 --> 01:10:30,147 Why didn't you tell me? 1574 01:10:30,181 --> 01:10:32,449 I didn't tell you because I didn't want to argue about nothing. 1575 01:10:32,482 --> 01:10:33,918 - Nothing? - Nothing. 1576 01:10:34,819 --> 01:10:40,791 Nothing happened because honestly, no offense, Paul, 1577 01:10:42,193 --> 01:10:43,928 - but I found Paul to be so... - [door thuds] 1578 01:10:44,929 --> 01:10:46,297 - Oh, fuck! - A sock puppet? 1579 01:10:46,330 --> 01:10:48,833 - Is this a part of the play? - Sock puppets are cute. You're cute. 1580 01:10:48,866 --> 01:10:51,601 - A sock puppet? - Did you run here? 1581 01:10:51,635 --> 01:10:53,470 - Damn! - Get off the sofa. 1582 01:10:53,503 --> 01:10:54,705 [Brett] You know we're not gonna hurt each other tonight. 1583 01:10:55,873 --> 01:10:58,508 - [shouts] - Get him. Get him. 1584 01:10:59,777 --> 01:11:00,978 Kick his ass. 1585 01:11:01,012 --> 01:11:02,914 Hey, hey. Okay. 1586 01:11:02,947 --> 01:11:04,581 They're crazy. 1587 01:11:04,614 --> 01:11:07,550 Paul, you're telling me nothing happened? 1588 01:11:07,919 --> 01:11:10,955 [mumbling] 1589 01:11:10,988 --> 01:11:12,189 Come on, I know you're unhappy. 1590 01:11:12,223 --> 01:11:13,824 Unhappy? [chuckles] 1591 01:11:13,858 --> 01:11:14,992 I'm not unhappy. 1592 01:11:15,026 --> 01:11:16,827 - Ah! - Quit your job. 1593 01:11:16,861 --> 01:11:18,896 - Quit my job? - Yeah. 1594 01:11:18,930 --> 01:11:22,532 - That's easy for you to say. I'm not you. - Okay, okay. 1595 01:11:22,565 --> 01:11:26,837 To be honest with you, I usually prefer a little bit more, uh, uptown. 1596 01:11:26,871 --> 01:11:28,839 - [groans] - Strike me down, Constanze. 1597 01:11:28,873 --> 01:11:31,541 - No. - I'm cutting all the Constanze-banza stuff, okay? 1598 01:11:31,574 --> 01:11:32,810 Hey, we could do it. Okay? We'll make it work. 1599 01:11:32,843 --> 01:11:33,945 We'll sell the house. We'll sell the cars. 1600 01:11:33,978 --> 01:11:35,212 We'll leave this industry entirely. 1601 01:11:35,246 --> 01:11:36,613 - What? - Yes. 1602 01:11:36,646 --> 01:11:37,682 And you know what else? 1603 01:11:37,715 --> 01:11:39,850 [panting] 1604 01:11:39,884 --> 01:11:42,853 Let's have a family, yeah. 1605 01:11:42,887 --> 01:11:43,955 Brett? 1606 01:11:45,588 --> 01:11:46,724 Don't you want two hummingbirds? 1607 01:11:47,590 --> 01:11:48,893 I can't just quit. 1608 01:11:49,626 --> 01:11:50,695 Numnum wants to. 1609 01:11:55,598 --> 01:11:56,901 Let's get naked and make a baby right away. 1610 01:11:58,736 --> 01:12:01,005 - Oh! - God! 1611 01:12:01,038 --> 01:12:03,007 - Oh, watch it, man. - Yeah, fuck. Yeah, fuck, yeah. 1612 01:12:03,640 --> 01:12:05,743 Okay, what's really going on here? 1613 01:12:05,776 --> 01:12:10,513 Is this some sort of weird gross like casting couch orgy or something? 1614 01:12:10,547 --> 01:12:12,950 I'm all for it, but everyone needs to know I have herpes. 1615 01:12:14,018 --> 01:12:15,052 Oh, she's really going for it. 1616 01:12:15,086 --> 01:12:17,054 Alright. We are so sorry, everyone. 1617 01:12:17,088 --> 01:12:19,724 - [sighs] - We had an argument. 1618 01:12:19,757 --> 01:12:21,892 And we are... [chuckles] 1619 01:12:22,625 --> 01:12:25,595 ...trying to work through some emotions. 1620 01:12:25,628 --> 01:12:26,964 So that's why we're here. 1621 01:12:26,998 --> 01:12:28,032 Who's your daddy? 1622 01:12:28,065 --> 01:12:29,266 Oh, yeah. 1623 01:12:29,300 --> 01:12:30,701 [growling] 1624 01:12:30,735 --> 01:12:32,770 Bottom of page 27, everybody with me. 1625 01:12:32,803 --> 01:12:35,973 What a bunch of crypto-fascist patriarchal dick-measuring. 1626 01:12:36,007 --> 01:12:38,042 - Why am I even here? - To help me get an agent, Paul. 1627 01:12:38,075 --> 01:12:40,678 Yeah, I know I agreed to help, but it's not gonna happen with Brett. 1628 01:12:40,711 --> 01:12:42,713 You know, I've hit a real skit lately. Oh. 1629 01:12:42,747 --> 01:12:44,682 You mean you can't help me find an agent? 1630 01:12:44,715 --> 01:12:46,649 This is a really tough time in the industry right now. 1631 01:12:46,684 --> 01:12:47,584 [moaning] 1632 01:12:47,952 --> 01:12:50,087 - Brett! - I need a drink. 1633 01:12:50,121 --> 01:12:54,725 - Trina, no more drinking. - Okay, I'm so sorry, everyone. You may go. 1634 01:12:54,759 --> 01:12:56,660 You take that back, we're not done. 1635 01:12:56,694 --> 01:12:59,797 Dude, it's over. It's a failure. Goodbye. 1636 01:12:59,830 --> 01:13:02,599 Oh, my God! I cannot believe I traveled all the way across town 1637 01:13:02,632 --> 01:13:05,870 - to play Sambo in this insipid tripe. - Jack. 1638 01:13:05,903 --> 01:13:09,572 I played Othello, at the National Theatre and a regional tour 1639 01:13:09,606 --> 01:13:11,876 and a limited Broadway run for fuck's sake. 1640 01:13:11,909 --> 01:13:13,044 What the fuck, Jack? 1641 01:13:13,077 --> 01:13:14,311 What do you want from me? Now he's not black enough? 1642 01:13:14,345 --> 01:13:17,748 Is it... Is it not too much to ask, you know, for a sliver... 1643 01:13:17,782 --> 01:13:19,784 Actually no, like a modicum of professionalism 1644 01:13:19,817 --> 01:13:21,986 even when playing a one-dimensional creep? 1645 01:13:22,019 --> 01:13:23,654 One-dimensional? 1646 01:13:24,021 --> 01:13:25,056 Okay. 1647 01:13:25,089 --> 01:13:27,658 Well, does this look one-dimensional to you, bro? 1648 01:13:27,691 --> 01:13:28,993 Three-percent body fat. 1649 01:13:29,026 --> 01:13:30,694 So, he gets to take his shirt off. 1650 01:13:34,365 --> 01:13:39,870 Thou art like one of those fellows that when we walks to the confines of a tavern, 1651 01:13:39,904 --> 01:13:46,077 claps me his sword upon the table and says, "God send me no need of thee!" 1652 01:13:46,977 --> 01:13:52,716 and by the operation of the second cup, draws it upon the drawer, 1653 01:13:53,384 --> 01:13:58,656 when, indeed, there is no need. 1654 01:14:00,091 --> 01:14:02,059 Take me with you. 1655 01:14:02,093 --> 01:14:03,861 [moaning] 1656 01:14:03,894 --> 01:14:06,030 I thought I would die here, but I'm free. 1657 01:14:06,964 --> 01:14:08,732 I'm finally free. 1658 01:14:08,766 --> 01:14:13,137 [clapping] 1659 01:14:13,170 --> 01:14:14,872 [laughs] 1660 01:14:14,905 --> 01:14:17,007 [Brett] Woo! What a ride, what a journey, what an arc. 1661 01:14:17,808 --> 01:14:18,709 [sighs] 1662 01:14:20,845 --> 01:14:22,046 I'll miss you the most, scarecrow. 1663 01:14:22,079 --> 01:14:22,980 Okay. 1664 01:14:23,714 --> 01:14:24,614 We're gonna go have sex. 1665 01:14:27,017 --> 01:14:27,918 Call me. 1666 01:14:29,186 --> 01:14:31,989 I'm just gonna leave a couple of headshots, you never know. 1667 01:14:32,022 --> 01:14:34,725 Hey, uh, looks like you got your body fat index under control. 1668 01:14:34,758 --> 01:14:36,727 - Oh, you think so? - [Paul] Oh, yeah. 1669 01:14:37,728 --> 01:14:40,731 My folks are gonna be really disappointed, this isn't a real play, so... 1670 01:14:40,764 --> 01:14:42,099 - Oh. - Oh, buddy. 1671 01:14:42,133 --> 01:14:44,168 Hey, kid, you keep it. 1672 01:14:44,869 --> 01:14:46,704 Gee! Thanks, guys. 1673 01:14:46,737 --> 01:14:48,172 [chuckles] You earned it. 1674 01:14:48,205 --> 01:14:49,907 - [camera shutter clicks] - Sweet. 1675 01:14:51,775 --> 01:14:54,411 I'm like definitely blogging about this. 1676 01:14:54,445 --> 01:14:55,246 God! 1677 01:14:55,279 --> 01:14:58,782 Wait, where are you amateurs going? 1678 01:14:58,816 --> 01:14:59,950 The play is not over. 1679 01:15:00,751 --> 01:15:02,153 - What? - What the fuck? 1680 01:15:02,186 --> 01:15:04,889 Lisa bottom of page 27. 1681 01:15:04,922 --> 01:15:07,758 Beep, beep, beep. The stove timer goes off in the kitchen. 1682 01:15:08,926 --> 01:15:11,695 I'm just gonna, ah... 1683 01:15:11,729 --> 01:15:13,797 - Where are you going? - [Walter] The show must go on. 1684 01:15:13,831 --> 01:15:14,832 [Jack] Oh, Christ. 1685 01:15:16,967 --> 01:15:18,969 Okay, what are you doing? 1686 01:15:19,003 --> 01:15:20,771 - I'm gonna finish this play. - Put... Put it down. 1687 01:15:20,804 --> 01:15:22,973 - Let go of me. - Okay, it's over, it's over. 1688 01:15:23,007 --> 01:15:24,441 - I made a pie. - Stop it. 1689 01:15:24,475 --> 01:15:26,143 I made a pie. 1690 01:15:26,177 --> 01:15:27,444 Stop fucking acting. 1691 01:15:27,478 --> 01:15:28,212 [groans] 1692 01:15:28,879 --> 01:15:32,950 [panting] 1693 01:15:39,823 --> 01:15:40,824 I made a pie. 1694 01:15:42,226 --> 01:15:43,827 Yeah, I can't eat that. 1695 01:15:45,095 --> 01:15:46,096 [sniffles] 1696 01:15:48,098 --> 01:15:49,733 - [groans] - [crowd gasp] 1697 01:15:50,100 --> 01:15:53,938 [groaning, panting] 1698 01:15:53,971 --> 01:15:55,039 [Lisa] Are we done now? 1699 01:15:55,072 --> 01:15:57,841 I don't even remember what we were arguing about. 1700 01:15:59,843 --> 01:16:02,146 About whether something I said was a bad joke. 1701 01:16:02,913 --> 01:16:06,250 About whether someone asked me on a date years ago. 1702 01:16:07,318 --> 01:16:09,820 What does it matter? 1703 01:16:10,854 --> 01:16:16,093 - [Walter] It doesn't matter. - Then why, why are we here? 1704 01:16:18,996 --> 01:16:20,831 I don't want to be Salieri. 1705 01:16:21,999 --> 01:16:26,270 [both] I want to be Mozart, at least to you. 1706 01:16:29,173 --> 01:16:34,144 But you are, Jack, and you always have been. 1707 01:16:36,080 --> 01:16:38,082 [breathes heavily] 1708 01:16:38,115 --> 01:16:40,985 [somber music playing] 1709 01:16:43,854 --> 01:16:44,888 I made a pie. 1710 01:16:50,227 --> 01:16:51,195 [chuckles] 1711 01:17:00,037 --> 01:17:03,574 [applause] 1712 01:17:03,607 --> 01:17:05,276 - [sighs] - This is hot, Jack. 1713 01:17:06,143 --> 01:17:07,044 We're cooking it. 1714 01:17:10,047 --> 01:17:12,916 [vocalizing] 1715 01:17:15,286 --> 01:17:16,320 [Walter] I'm sorry, Lisa. 1716 01:17:18,188 --> 01:17:19,356 I'm sorry, too. 1717 01:17:19,390 --> 01:17:21,091 [Walter] One more thing. 1718 01:17:23,961 --> 01:17:24,995 What are you doing? 1719 01:17:25,029 --> 01:17:28,966 - Just one second. Where did I hide it? - Jack. 1720 01:17:30,267 --> 01:17:31,168 [clinks] 1721 01:17:38,175 --> 01:17:39,076 [gasps] 1722 01:17:39,376 --> 01:17:42,079 [giggles] 1723 01:17:42,112 --> 01:17:47,351 [applause] 1724 01:17:55,626 --> 01:17:56,960 Woo! Hey, Jack! 1725 01:18:00,898 --> 01:18:03,901 [mellow music playing] 1726 01:19:08,432 --> 01:19:11,435 [upbeat music playing] 1727 01:19:16,039 --> 01:19:20,077 ♪ It's just another argument ♪ 1728 01:19:20,110 --> 01:19:23,681 ♪ Right or wrong Why can't we get along ♪ 1729 01:19:23,715 --> 01:19:27,217 ♪ And what's with all This bickering ♪ 1730 01:19:27,251 --> 01:19:29,019 ♪ No one ever wins ♪ 1731 01:19:29,052 --> 01:19:32,322 ♪ Where do we begin ♪ 1732 01:19:34,124 --> 01:19:37,695 ♪ Are we meant to be ♪ 1733 01:19:37,729 --> 01:19:42,132 ♪ Or just meant to be ♪ 1734 01:19:42,166 --> 01:19:45,102 ♪ The argument ♪ 1735 01:19:45,135 --> 01:19:48,238 ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪ 1736 01:19:49,339 --> 01:19:52,376 ♪ The argument ♪ 1737 01:19:52,409 --> 01:19:55,512 ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪ 1738 01:19:57,080 --> 01:20:00,417 ♪ It's just a misunderstanding ♪ 1739 01:20:00,451 --> 01:20:02,319 ♪ Can we take it back ♪ 1740 01:20:02,352 --> 01:20:04,354 ♪ Call off the attack ♪ 1741 01:20:04,388 --> 01:20:08,091 ♪ And what if we redo it all ♪ 1742 01:20:08,125 --> 01:20:09,727 ♪ Would it happen again ♪ 1743 01:20:09,761 --> 01:20:12,162 ♪ Maybe never end ♪ 1744 01:20:13,197 --> 01:20:16,233 ♪ Are we meant to be ♪ 1745 01:20:17,034 --> 01:20:21,104 ♪ Or just meant to be ♪ 1746 01:20:21,138 --> 01:20:24,007 ♪ The argument ♪ 1747 01:20:28,780 --> 01:20:35,586 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 1748 01:20:36,186 --> 01:20:39,356 ♪ That wasn't me ♪ 1749 01:20:39,389 --> 01:20:43,560 ♪ That was someone That I used to be ♪ 1750 01:20:43,594 --> 01:20:49,299 ♪ All I want is to love you ♪ 1751 01:20:49,333 --> 01:20:53,303 ♪ Endlessly ♪ 1752 01:20:53,337 --> 01:20:57,441 ♪ Ah-ah ♪ 1753 01:21:07,819 --> 01:21:11,221 ♪ It's just a stupid argument ♪ 1754 01:21:11,255 --> 01:21:15,225 ♪ If we could see ourselves Maybe we could tell ♪ 1755 01:21:15,259 --> 01:21:18,495 ♪ We're both Both right and wrong ♪ 1756 01:21:18,529 --> 01:21:22,566 ♪ So just kiss me now Let's take a bow ♪ 1757 01:21:23,467 --> 01:21:27,538 ♪ Are we meant to be ♪ 1758 01:21:27,571 --> 01:21:31,542 ♪ Really meant to see ♪ 1759 01:21:31,575 --> 01:21:34,578 ♪ This argument ♪ 1760 01:21:34,611 --> 01:21:38,415 ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪ 134425