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1
00:01:26,433 --> 00:01:28,733
Hello, darling, it's your
father.
2
00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:31,500
Haven't heard from you
since you found your new flat.
3
00:01:31,533 --> 00:01:32,833
Hope you're alright...
4
00:01:32,867 --> 00:01:35,767
...Your mother sends her love
and all that,
5
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:39,367
but what I'm really calling
about is this latest bit of
yours in the paper.
6
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:40,700
Honestly, Faith!
7
00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:42,633
I know you've got
your own views on religion
8
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,667
we've talked about that
9
00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:48,633
but where's the sense in
digging up all this stuff about
poor old Leonard?
10
00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:50,700
It's not like he's still here
and can answer back, is it?
11
00:01:50,733 --> 00:01:52,433
- Oh, fuck off, dad.
- To be honest...
12
00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:55,633
...we thought you wanted to go
into journalism, not muckraking
13
00:01:55,667 --> 00:01:58,433
Anyway, give us a call when
you get this
14
00:01:58,467 --> 00:02:00,500
assuming you haven't
forgotten our number.
15
00:02:00,533 --> 00:02:04,300
Alright, I hope you're well.
'Bye.
16
00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:08,167
Yeah, hi, Faith, it's me,
Claire.
17
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,567
Listen, I was going to tell you
before you left the newsroom,
18
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,833
but I got talking to Bob and
when I looked round you were
gone.
19
00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:15,767
Anyway, me and Liz and Lorraine
are round at the
Charles Bradlaugh,
20
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,667
so if you're not doing anything
then you can rock by and join
us.
21
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:21,433
Okay, that's all. Take care.
'Bye.
22
00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:40,167
Claire?
23
00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:43,500
Yeah, hi, it's me.
24
00:02:44,867 --> 00:02:46,767
Yeah, yeah, I got your message.
25
00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:50,700
No.
26
00:02:50,733 --> 00:02:53,400
No, I'm ever so sorry, babe.
I'm all tied up tonight.
27
00:02:54,733 --> 00:02:57,067
Yeah, well, that and other
things. You know.
28
00:02:58,233 --> 00:03:00,333
Is that Liz I can hear in the
background?
29
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:10,167
Yeah, well, tell her she's a
crack-whore, but for Bailey's.
30
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,633
You can tell me what you were
talking to Bob about.
31
00:03:17,067 --> 00:03:19,200
Yeah, I bet.
32
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,400
Okay darling, I'll see you
Monday.
33
00:03:21,433 --> 00:03:26,500
Yeah. Yeah. Big hugs.
Ok, bye, yeah. 'Bye. 'Bye.
34
00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:02,100
Hello?
35
00:04:03,133 --> 00:04:07,267
Is that the.. Costume Hire Shop?
36
00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:09,233
Oh, right, good.
37
00:04:09,267 --> 00:04:11,767
Look, I'm the woman
who was in the other day
38
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,633
I think it was you I spoke to?
39
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:15,667
Yes.
40
00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:19,067
Yes, Harrington, that's right.
41
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:24,067
I was just calling to see if
that outfit I asked you to put
by for me.
42
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:27,333
Yes, the paramedic outfit,
that's the one.
43
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,800
Did anyone call in to
pick it up, or...
44
00:04:31,633 --> 00:04:35,600
...oh, they did.
That's great.
45
00:04:35,633 --> 00:04:37,633
No, no, I was just calling
to see if anyone
46
00:04:37,667 --> 00:04:39,633
had come to pick it up, that's
all.
47
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:44,400
That's brilliant. Ok.
Thanks a lot.
48
00:04:44,433 --> 00:04:46,400
Yeah.
'Bye.
49
00:09:17,133 --> 00:09:20,633
Is that...
is that the paramedics?
50
00:09:22,167 --> 00:09:27,633
Listen, I, uh, I don't have
anyone else I can turn to.
51
00:09:29,333 --> 00:09:32,033
You see, I'm...
52
00:09:32,067 --> 00:09:36,200
I'm a young woman,
and I live here all on my own.
53
00:09:38,233 --> 00:09:42,400
Yes.
Yes, completely alone.
54
00:09:44,433 --> 00:09:52,100
I'm very... vulnerable.
And lonely.
55
00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:56,400
I'm so lonely that I...
56
00:09:56,433 --> 00:10:02,700
I just dressed myself up in
these... these slutty clothes.
57
00:10:04,733 --> 00:10:12,633
Yes. Yes, they're really slutty.
Like me.
58
00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:17,167
I was...
59
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:24,167
I was going to go out and,
you know, go out and whore
myself, but...
60
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:30,500
I'm so ashamed. I'm so ashamed
that I'm going to end it all.
61
00:10:32,433 --> 00:10:34,633
Yes.
62
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:39,333
Yes, that's right.
In my stockings and everything.
63
00:10:41,167 --> 00:10:45,767
No. No, there's no point
trying to talk me out of it.
64
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:49,167
I'm just worthless trash
and everybody's better off
without me.
65
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,700
No, goodbye.
66
00:10:51,733 --> 00:10:53,600
Goodbye forever.
67
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,267
Hi, this is Faith.
Sorry I'm not here
68
00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:59,333
but leave a message
and I'll get right back to you.
69
00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:05,333
Hello? Faith, it's me. Pick up.
Oh, fuck.
70
00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:08,300
Look, if you've not started
already, then don't.
71
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:12,767
There's been an accident.
The car's fucked. Oh, shit.
72
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,433
Oh, fuck. Look, I'm coming
round as fast as I can, okay?
73
00:14:16,467 --> 00:14:21,833
Oh, shit, darling, I'm so
sorry. I'm so sorry.
74
00:14:21,867 --> 00:14:26,233
Look, just hang on, okay,
just... I mean, just don't
worry.
75
00:14:26,267 --> 00:14:28,200
I'll be there in a minute.
76
00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:31,800
I'm out of the car-park and I'm
just coming up Michael's Road
now.
77
00:14:31,833 --> 00:14:34,700
Oh, Christ. Oh, Jesus,
love please be alright.
78
00:16:24,467 --> 00:16:29,467
Excuse me,
but I think I'm lost.
79
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:33,067
I've taken a wrong turn
somewhere and ended up down
here...
80
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:35,267
Well, we all end up down here
sooner or later, darlin'.
81
00:16:36,633 --> 00:16:41,067
Cinders for eyes,
pennies for eyelids, ay?
82
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:45,100
Oh, come on. You might as well
just have a quick drink now
you're here.
83
00:16:45,133 --> 00:16:49,233
The show's not started yet, and
they're still serving in the
lounge.
84
00:16:49,267 --> 00:16:50,800
It's back through there.
85
00:16:50,833 --> 00:16:56,633
Oh. Well... Thanks.
86
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,633
You're welcome, sweetheart.
87
00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:02,600
You're late.
88
00:20:04,467 --> 00:20:06,233
I'm sorry?
89
00:20:06,267 --> 00:20:09,600
I dare say you are, son,
but that's late as well.
90
00:20:21,333 --> 00:20:27,767
Hello. Can I... um... have
a double scotch, please? No ice.
91
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,267
That's just as well.
92
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:31,767
You'll not find
any ice round here, love...
93
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,400
Although everybody's on
the rocks, ay?
94
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,033
No, I'm only joking with you,
love.
95
00:20:37,067 --> 00:20:39,400
One double scotch with no ice,
coming up.
96
00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:44,433
This place is a bit... different
97
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,600
It's like something out of
forty years ago.
98
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:51,167
I wouldn't know about that, love
99
00:20:52,767 --> 00:20:54,667
We've had 'em all in here,
though, for last orders.
100
00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:59,167
All the dodgy councillors and
planners, the off-duty coppers
and the bigwigs.
101
00:21:01,633 --> 00:21:04,667
We had him that strangled that
little boy, what was his name?
102
00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:08,700
The businessman. He had a shop
in the town centre...
103
00:21:11,367 --> 00:21:14,533
I didn't even know this place
was here.
104
00:21:15,667 --> 00:21:17,267
Yes you did.
105
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:24,233
What...
um, what do I owe you?
106
00:21:24,267 --> 00:21:28,833
Oh no, love, this one's courtesy
of Mr. Matchbright over there.
107
00:21:28,867 --> 00:21:31,033
He's one of the proprietors.
108
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:36,167
I'm sorry if it put you out
earlier, with my little comment.
109
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,300
I only meant to pull your leg,
but evidently it fell on dead
ears.
110
00:22:40,533 --> 00:22:42,267
I'm Nicky Matchbright
111
00:22:42,300 --> 00:22:45,133
and this lovely lady
is my very good friend...
112
00:22:45,167 --> 00:22:48,200
I'm sorry, love,
what was the name again?
113
00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:49,600
I'm Faith.
114
00:22:50,767 --> 00:22:55,467
Oh yeah. Lovely name.
And you are...?
115
00:22:58,367 --> 00:22:59,233
James.
116
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:05,433
I'm only stopping for this
drink. I'm lost.
117
00:23:05,467 --> 00:23:08,400
This isn't where I'm meant to be
118
00:23:10,067 --> 00:23:13,300
You might be right, James.
You might very well be right.
119
00:23:13,333 --> 00:23:17,167
But this is where you are.
Do you see what I'm saying?
120
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,367
This is what you gravitate
towards.
121
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,433
You've got a drink there in your
hand, there's all these pretty
girls around,
122
00:23:23,467 --> 00:23:25,600
and who knows what might happen
later, ay, James?
123
00:23:25,633 --> 00:23:28,033
Who knows?
124
00:23:28,067 --> 00:23:31,800
This is every evening that
you've ever had, James
125
00:23:31,833 --> 00:23:34,767
here or somewhere like it.
126
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,333
This is all your nights.
127
00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:40,467
It's where you're the most
comfortable
128
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:44,833
the state that takes
the least energy to maintain.
129
00:23:44,867 --> 00:23:47,667
That's just the laws of physics,
am I right?
130
00:23:47,700 --> 00:23:52,333
We can't do anything about it.
None of us roll uphill, do we?
None of us.
131
00:23:52,367 --> 00:23:59,333
Uh... well, no. No, put like
that, I don't suppose we do.
132
00:24:01,133 --> 00:24:08,367
You're right, James. You're dead
right. Of course we fucking
don't.
133
00:24:11,433 --> 00:24:15,300
Now, you see James here.
He's got the right attitude.
134
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,433
Acceptance, am I right?
135
00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:23,600
He accepts things the way
they are.
136
00:24:23,633 --> 00:24:29,733
There's none of this hostility,
none of this bargaining.
137
00:24:33,633 --> 00:24:36,367
You could do worse than taking a
leaf out of his book, girl...
138
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,733
I'm sorry, I forgot your name
again. Joy, was it? Was it Joy?
139
00:24:39,767 --> 00:24:42,400
Faith. I-I'm Faith.
140
00:24:42,433 --> 00:24:44,500
Oh yeah, of course you are.
141
00:24:45,667 --> 00:24:47,400
Now...
142
00:24:47,433 --> 00:24:50,133
I've got some business that
needs seeing to before the show
starts
143
00:24:50,167 --> 00:24:51,400
with my other half.
144
00:24:51,433 --> 00:24:55,367
I suppose you might say he
was the senior partner
145
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:59,567
Mr. Metterton,
the Great I Am.
146
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,633
I'm sure you know the type.
147
00:25:04,467 --> 00:25:07,033
Joy, darling, why don't
you go through to the big room
148
00:25:07,067 --> 00:25:09,067
and see that the Bare Brides
are getting ready?
149
00:25:09,100 --> 00:25:11,733
You can take James
with you if you like.
150
00:25:11,767 --> 00:25:17,600
I'm sure I can trust you with
her. Ay, James? You'll look
after her.
151
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:31,333
Well, I was just... I mean,
yeah. Of course I will.
Why wouldn't I?
152
00:25:31,367 --> 00:25:34,500
That's a good one.
153
00:26:34,533 --> 00:26:39,333
Is everything all right?
I mean, back there, you...
154
00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:05,233
Would you like to... I mean...
Is it all right for you to
dance?
155
00:28:45,433 --> 00:28:47,600
This kind of place...
156
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,800
I wouldn't expect to find
someone like you in here.
157
00:28:53,833 --> 00:28:56,133
I'm just like anyone else.
158
00:28:57,667 --> 00:29:00,667
I wouldn't be here if I hadn't
let things get out of control.
159
00:29:00,700 --> 00:29:05,067
What do you mean?
What kind of things?
160
00:29:07,867 --> 00:29:17,533
With me, it's sex.
I just... I don't know.
161
00:29:20,667 --> 00:29:22,700
It goes dead after a time,
do you find that?
162
00:29:25,467 --> 00:29:28,200
I can't get excited
without something extra.
163
00:29:32,333 --> 00:29:34,600
Then someone mentions
asphyxiation...
164
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,100
Mm. I've never liked the sound
of that.
165
00:29:41,100 --> 00:29:46,600
Couldn't it, you know,
go too far?
166
00:29:50,533 --> 00:29:52,367
Oh, it always goes too far.
167
00:30:43,467 --> 00:30:47,100
That man, Mr. Matchbright?
168
00:30:48,133 --> 00:30:50,033
You're in a relationship
with him?
169
00:30:53,533 --> 00:30:55,233
I think we all are.
170
00:31:00,867 --> 00:31:04,800
They go back years, apparently,
him and his partner.
171
00:31:06,633 --> 00:31:12,300
Metterton and Matchbright.
One of those old...
172
00:31:12,333 --> 00:31:17,633
end of the pier double acts that
can't stand each other in real
life.
173
00:31:17,667 --> 00:31:22,800
They had this stupid
music hall catchphrase
174
00:31:22,833 --> 00:31:26,700
"Doctor, I think we're losing
him."
175
00:31:30,300 --> 00:31:33,333
My parents used to say it all
the time
176
00:31:33,367 --> 00:31:36,000
if they thought
I wasn't paying attention.
177
00:31:38,267 --> 00:31:39,733
I used to hate it.
178
00:32:31,367 --> 00:32:33,000
It's dead out there tonight.
179
00:32:56,733 --> 00:33:01,633
This is childish. You know, I
can keep this up for as long as
you can.
180
00:33:15,433 --> 00:33:18,100
For fuck's sake!
181
00:34:09,300 --> 00:34:12,467
Are these the dancers
he asked you to check on?
182
00:34:12,500 --> 00:34:14,167
The... what did he call them?
183
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:15,667
The Bare Brides.
184
00:34:15,700 --> 00:34:18,333
Look, I... I need to go
talk to their manager.
185
00:34:18,367 --> 00:34:21,800
You'll be alright on your own,
yeah?
186
00:34:21,833 --> 00:34:31,367
I need to find the washroom,
anyway. You go ahead, then. I'll
be fine.
187
00:34:42,167 --> 00:34:46,100
... and I suppose in many ways,
that was my biggest problem.
188
00:34:46,133 --> 00:34:49,667
When we started going out,
that was what she liked me for.
189
00:34:49,700 --> 00:34:52,667
'Cos I could make her laugh.
190
00:34:52,700 --> 00:34:56,333
Then I started turning
everything into a joke.
191
00:34:56,367 --> 00:35:00,100
It was the only level
we could relate to.
192
00:35:05,867 --> 00:35:12,300
It ended up as a load of
stupid catchphrases and banter.
193
00:35:14,533 --> 00:35:17,800
'Nice to see you,
to see you nice'
194
00:35:21,867 --> 00:35:24,233
'Can I do you now, sir?'
195
00:35:25,433 --> 00:35:29,433
'Doctor, I think we're
losing him'
196
00:35:29,467 --> 00:35:35,667
Just stuff like that, day after
day, night after night.
197
00:35:38,300 --> 00:35:41,167
I can't blame her for having the
affair.
198
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:44,800
I genuinely can't.
199
00:35:48,233 --> 00:35:51,600
What's ironic is,
I don't tell jokes any more.
200
00:35:56,067 --> 00:36:07,067
Recently, these days,
I just masturbate and cry.
201
00:36:12,533 --> 00:36:15,400
Usually at the same time.
202
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,133
You must be nervous.
203
00:36:35,533 --> 00:36:37,400
- I'm sorry?
- Don't be sorry.
204
00:36:37,433 --> 00:36:39,367
Everyone gets nervous on the big
night
205
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:43,567
even when they've had
all this time to get ready.
206
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:47,633
The best thing you can do is
think of it as like a talent
show.
207
00:36:47,667 --> 00:36:51,667
Everything's a talent show
these days, sweetheart.
208
00:36:51,700 --> 00:37:00,267
What? But... oh, no, no, I'm not
appearing. I'm, you know...
209
00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:02,500
Disappearing?
210
00:37:02,533 --> 00:37:09,767
Ha. No, I just stopped in here
for a drink.
211
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:14,500
Just need to find the men's room
and I'm off, basically.
212
00:37:14,533 --> 00:37:17,100
Right. Back to the way you came.
213
00:37:21,333 --> 00:37:22,500
Thank you.
214
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:30,167
Like I said: nerves.
215
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:43,000
So! This is where all the big
knobs hang out, is it?
216
00:38:48,100 --> 00:38:54,133
Yeah. Probably too often for my
own good.
217
00:38:56,267 --> 00:39:04,167
I mean, tonight, I can't
even remember which pub I
started out in.
218
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:10,333
It's not like I plan to go
out getting pissed, looking for
women.
219
00:39:10,367 --> 00:39:15,733
I just always seem to somehow
end up in a place like this.
220
00:39:23,100 --> 00:39:29,200
Funny, innit?
221
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,133
Where's Faith gone?
222
00:41:17,733 --> 00:41:22,467
Well, James, that's a matter for
the theologians.
223
00:41:22,500 --> 00:41:26,800
If you're looking for an angel,
I'd trying looking in the wings,
ay?
224
00:41:28,433 --> 00:41:31,233
Now, let's have a bit of hush.
225
00:41:32,167 --> 00:41:34,700
He's about to take the stage.
226
00:41:37,100 --> 00:41:39,700
The Great I Am...
227
00:42:46,667 --> 00:42:56,367
Begun as diamond, ended in the
rough
228
00:42:56,400 --> 00:43:05,267
here is the long-expected great
surprise.
229
00:43:05,300 --> 00:43:13,333
Would that thy tears rolled back
into those eyes that
230
00:43:13,367 --> 00:43:23,167
that never loved
or never loved enough.
231
00:43:24,333 --> 00:43:29,300
The dizzy spell's black circle,
widening,
232
00:43:29,333 --> 00:43:36,600
and every day caught
in the comb more hair
233
00:43:36,633 --> 00:43:45,100
now suddenly here is the empty
chair.
234
00:43:45,133 --> 00:43:50,367
Here is the unimaginable thing.
235
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:56,033
The words are said that
nothing can put it right.
236
00:43:56,067 --> 00:44:03,500
First, 'It's a boy',
flung to the mortal swim,
237
00:44:03,533 --> 00:44:11,200
then, soon, 'Doctor, I think
we're losing him',
238
00:44:11,233 --> 00:44:23,367
and after that, the light, the
light, the light...
239
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:35,367
Move.
240
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:56,233
Wh-what happened? What happened?
Am I gonna be all right?
241
00:45:59,867 --> 00:46:03,500
Not really.
You're dead.
242
00:46:03,533 --> 00:46:07,567
Oh, God.
Are you working for Bleeker?
243
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:09,233
Are you going to kill me?
244
00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:13,400
What would be the point of that?
I just told you. You're dead.
245
00:47:02,433 --> 00:47:08,100
Oh no. No, no, this is not
right. I'm not dead.
246
00:47:08,133 --> 00:47:14,367
Got pissed at a club.
Fell down steps.
247
00:47:16,067 --> 00:47:17,400
Dead.
248
00:47:17,433 --> 00:47:26,267
No, I... I was at the club,
right?
249
00:47:26,300 --> 00:47:31,333
May've been a fall, but,
I mean, surely I...
250
00:47:31,367 --> 00:47:36,133
Dead.
Put him on the spot.
251
00:47:37,833 --> 00:47:42,633
This is wrong.
You've got me wrong.
252
00:47:42,667 --> 00:47:44,633
No, we haven't.
253
00:47:44,667 --> 00:47:48,033
It's Egyptian Rules
from here on then.
254
00:47:48,067 --> 00:47:51,400
The opening of the mouth,
the weighing of the heart...
255
00:47:51,433 --> 00:47:53,400
all that shit.
256
00:47:53,433 --> 00:48:02,600
Oh, but don't fret, it don't
hurt. Well, I say that but...
257
00:48:20,733 --> 00:48:27,267
Look, please, I don't
understand.
258
00:48:27,300 --> 00:48:35,533
You've got the wrong man.
Please, I don't deserve this...
259
00:48:40,467 --> 00:48:45,833
Yes you do. At the end of the
day, we all deserve it, James.
260
00:48:45,867 --> 00:48:50,833
And make no mistake, this is the
end of the fucking day.
261
00:48:50,867 --> 00:48:54,100
But... what have I done?
I haven't done anything...
262
00:48:54,133 --> 00:48:59,467
Now, that's not strictly true.
Is it, James?
263
00:48:59,500 --> 00:49:01,800
You've done a lot of things.
264
00:49:01,833 --> 00:49:04,167
What about all them women?
265
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:07,067
You did them, didn't you?
266
00:49:07,100 --> 00:49:10,200
And they weren't nothing.
267
00:49:10,233 --> 00:49:16,033
Penny, Jenny, Izzy, Lizzie,
Trudy, Judy, Dotty, Lottie...
268
00:49:16,067 --> 00:49:18,500
And that's just
the ones that rhyme.
269
00:49:18,533 --> 00:49:22,767
What about that woman you left
up in the hospital... half dead.
270
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:28,133
Covered in cuts, burns,
bruises...
271
00:49:28,167 --> 00:49:31,100
tubes up noses...
doctors looking doubtful?
272
00:49:31,133 --> 00:49:35,267
That's never good, James.
That's never good.
273
00:49:35,300 --> 00:49:38,833
- Oh, Christ...
- He's fuck all to do with it.
274
00:49:38,867 --> 00:49:43,467
Christianity, it's a bit
modern... Innit? It's a bit of a
fad.
275
00:49:43,500 --> 00:49:47,033
Round our house, we like the old
fashioned way of doing things.
276
00:49:47,067 --> 00:49:49,300
Beryl, love, open up
his mouth, will you?
277
00:49:49,333 --> 00:49:52,300
Let's get this over and done
with the least fuss as possible.
278
00:49:52,333 --> 00:49:53,300
Get what done with?
279
00:49:53,333 --> 00:49:57,033
That woman,
you can't blame...
280
00:50:02,067 --> 00:50:07,567
Yes, James.
Yes, we can blame you.
281
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:11,133
By and large,
that's what we're here for.
282
00:50:12,067 --> 00:50:13,767
Now, the opening of the mouth.
283
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:17,033
That's what the old Egyptians
used to do to mummies
284
00:50:17,067 --> 00:50:20,633
so they could still eat and
drink after they were dead.
285
00:50:20,667 --> 00:50:24,733
Diet's still important,
even when you've passed on.
286
00:50:26,167 --> 00:50:28,167
You've got to keep
your strength up.
287
00:50:29,333 --> 00:50:31,567
Beryl, love, put some
music on, will you?
288
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:34,033
And then bring me the Nectar.
289
00:51:03,233 --> 00:51:06,700
How's that going down, James?
290
00:51:08,367 --> 00:51:11,633
All right? All right?
291
00:51:11,667 --> 00:51:13,667
I'm sorry it's only
creamed rice
292
00:51:13,700 --> 00:51:16,333
but it's all we can get
our hands on down here.
293
00:51:16,367 --> 00:51:20,267
I know, I know that, I know.
It's shit, innit?
294
00:51:20,300 --> 00:51:24,767
It's very unpleasant, all this.
You must be frightened.
295
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:28,700
I expect you just want all this
to be over, don't you?
296
00:51:28,733 --> 00:51:30,667
But that's for when
you're still alive...
297
00:51:30,700 --> 00:51:34,200
unpleasant things being over.
298
00:51:34,233 --> 00:51:38,100
Down here, it's not like that.
299
00:51:38,133 --> 00:51:41,133
That's enough, darling.
300
00:51:42,767 --> 00:51:45,767
We have to leave room
to give him a drink and all.
301
00:51:57,633 --> 00:52:00,700
This is even more
important than food...
302
00:52:00,733 --> 00:52:02,767
Drink, when you're a mummy.
303
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:08,367
Imagine being buried under
the sand with all the beetles.
304
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:13,333
You'd get proper dry, wouldn't
you? Practically desiccated.
305
00:52:13,367 --> 00:52:17,700
Old James here, he's never been
one to refuse a drink.
306
00:52:17,733 --> 00:52:19,333
Fuck me, James.
307
00:52:19,367 --> 00:52:22,800
Don't you make a lot of noise?
Don't he make a lot of noise?
308
00:52:22,833 --> 00:52:25,100
You're putting me right off.
309
00:52:26,367 --> 00:52:31,167
You make me feel...
not hostile but...
310
00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:34,500
Beryl, what's the word for
how he's making me feel?
311
00:52:34,533 --> 00:52:37,633
- Rancorous.
- That's it, rancorous.
312
00:52:37,667 --> 00:52:43,700
You're making me feel rancorous.
You're acting like a big baby.
313
00:52:43,733 --> 00:52:48,067
Look at you.
It's only blood on your hands.
314
00:52:48,100 --> 00:52:51,400
It's only blood what's got
spilled because of you, James.
315
00:52:51,433 --> 00:52:56,300
It's blood what's on your hands.
316
00:52:56,333 --> 00:53:00,467
You know that, don't you?
It's all over you.
317
00:53:25,167 --> 00:53:28,600
Look on your face.
318
00:53:28,633 --> 00:53:31,433
Oh, dear.
319
00:53:31,467 --> 00:53:33,667
No, joking aside,
we have to be serious now.
320
00:53:33,700 --> 00:53:35,433
We have to be serious
321
00:53:35,467 --> 00:53:38,667
'cos this is a very serious
matter what we're all involved
in here.
322
00:53:38,700 --> 00:53:42,100
'Cos everyone down here, James,
we're all dead.
323
00:53:42,133 --> 00:53:44,200
Now then...
324
00:53:44,233 --> 00:53:47,767
Let's have a little look at what
the Book has to say about you
325
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:49,667
before we pass judgement.
326
00:53:49,700 --> 00:53:55,767
And let's be clear, this is
eternal judgement what we're
talking about.
327
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:59,233
If I were you, James,
I'd feel insulted.
328
00:53:59,267 --> 00:54:04,133
'Cos if you were a Pharaoh
you'd have Osiris or Isis...
329
00:54:04,167 --> 00:54:07,333
or some other posh bugger
passing down the verdict
330
00:54:07,367 --> 00:54:13,200
but because it's you... you get
a stripper and a fucking clown.
331
00:54:17,433 --> 00:54:22,767
Let's have a butcher's at what
it says in here, shall we?
332
00:54:26,467 --> 00:54:31,100
"And when his belly is made
full"
333
00:54:31,133 --> 00:54:35,833
"then shall he come
unto a Hall of Two Truths"
334
00:54:35,867 --> 00:54:38,233
"where is placed the scale"
335
00:54:38,267 --> 00:54:42,833
"in its correct position
in the Land of Silence."
336
00:54:42,867 --> 00:54:45,633
"Here shall James..."
337
00:54:45,667 --> 00:54:51,600
'Cos they leave a sort of blank
there for you to write the name
in, so...
338
00:54:51,633 --> 00:54:57,467
"Here shall James purge
all misdeeds what he has done,"
339
00:54:57,500 --> 00:55:03,833
"and herein shall he likewise
see the faces of the Gods."
340
00:55:03,867 --> 00:55:10,067
Now, the faces of the gods,
that's me and Beryl.
341
00:55:10,100 --> 00:55:13,167
You'll just have to use
your imagination for that bit,
won't you?
342
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:18,567
"And he shall hail them,
and testify that he knows them"
343
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:21,267
"and that he knows their names"
344
00:55:21,300 --> 00:55:26,700
"and knows the forty-two
gods that are with them"
345
00:55:26,733 --> 00:55:30,500
"and live on those
who preserve evil"
346
00:55:30,533 --> 00:55:34,333
"who swallow their blood..."
347
00:55:34,367 --> 00:55:36,200
Oh, shocking...
348
00:55:36,233 --> 00:55:40,733
"who swallow their blood on
that day of the reckoning of
characters"
349
00:55:40,767 --> 00:55:45,467
"in the presence of Osiris."
350
00:55:45,500 --> 00:55:52,700
"Then shall James speak
his negative confession, saying"
351
00:55:52,733 --> 00:55:55,167
"I have not committed
wrongdoing."
352
00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:57,767
"I have not mistreated cattle."
353
00:55:57,800 --> 00:56:00,300
"I have not done evil."
354
00:56:00,333 --> 00:56:02,500
"I have not caused pain."
355
00:56:02,533 --> 00:56:05,033
"I have not caused weeping."
356
00:56:05,067 --> 00:56:09,167
"I have not made
suffering for anyone."
357
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:13,767
"I have not stolen the cakes
of the blessed dead."
358
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,633
"I have not copulated."
359
00:56:16,667 --> 00:56:19,333
"I have not been lascivious."
360
00:56:19,367 --> 00:56:23,267
"I have not added to the weight
of the balance."
361
00:56:23,300 --> 00:56:27,400
"Nor have I tampered
with the plummet of the scales."
362
00:56:27,433 --> 00:56:31,833
"I have not extinguished a fire
at its critical moment."
363
00:56:31,867 --> 00:56:38,800
"I am pure, I am pure,
I AM PURE."
364
00:56:38,833 --> 00:56:44,667
"I AM PURE!"
365
00:56:44,700 --> 00:56:49,167
Are you, James?
Are you pure?
366
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:51,767
But don't worry.
There's not much left...
367
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:58,200
"Then shall James bare his
breast and offer up that which
is in him"
368
00:56:58,233 --> 00:57:04,767
"crying: O Fiery-One,
who has come forth backwards"
369
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:08,100
"I have not stolen
a God's property."
370
00:57:08,133 --> 00:57:14,267
"O Smasher-of-Bones, who has
come forth from Heraclee..."
371
00:57:14,300 --> 00:57:19,133
from... Her-Herac...
How do you say this? Hera...
372
00:57:19,167 --> 00:57:21,367
"Heracleopolis..."
373
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:27,100
"from Heracleopolis,
I have not told lies."
374
00:57:27,133 --> 00:57:34,400
"O Eater-of-Entrails, who has
come forth from the Court of
Thirty"
375
00:57:34,433 --> 00:57:37,333
"I have not committed usury."
376
00:57:37,367 --> 00:57:43,733
"Then shall that which is in
him be brought forth and seated
on the scale"
377
00:57:43,767 --> 00:57:49,400
"wherein shall it be matched
against a plume of Maat"
378
00:57:49,433 --> 00:57:55,700
"she who is silent
and has no word."
379
00:57:55,733 --> 00:58:03,467
"And be that vessel but
encumbered by a single,
singular, wrong"
380
00:58:03,500 --> 00:58:06,333
"so that the feather be
outweighed"
381
00:58:06,367 --> 00:58:15,467
"then shall Apophis at his
glorious table make no longer
plaint of hunger"
382
00:58:15,500 --> 00:58:24,267
"and then shall jackals
have their due."
383
00:58:26,433 --> 00:58:30,067
So, James, did you understand
all that?
384
00:58:30,100 --> 00:58:33,500
What I was doing,
I was reading you your rights.
385
00:58:33,533 --> 00:58:38,200
All that stuff is about tearing
out your heart and weighing it
against a feather.
386
00:58:38,233 --> 00:58:40,367
You're alright with that, are
you?
387
00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:45,100
Good. Good.
388
00:58:45,133 --> 00:58:48,100
'Cos I mean, tearing out your
heart...
389
00:58:48,133 --> 00:58:51,233
It is not as if you gonna miss
it, is it?
390
00:58:51,267 --> 00:58:58,633
All them women, they'd all been
through bad relationships,
divorces...
391
00:58:58,667 --> 00:59:02,167
They just wanted to feel good
about themselves again.
392
00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:07,167
A little bit of reassurance,
a bit of respect...
393
00:59:07,200 --> 00:59:13,600
but you were off outta the
door before your spunk was dry.
394
00:59:16,100 --> 00:59:20,767
It's only your heart, James.
You won't be needing it.
395
00:59:37,133 --> 00:59:47,500
Granted, might feel a bit
peculiar not having one, but you
get used to it.
396
00:59:48,867 --> 00:59:52,467
It heals.
397
00:59:52,500 --> 00:59:56,067
So, all we have to do
now is weigh it.
398
00:59:56,100 --> 00:59:58,233
And find out whether
you are going to paradise
399
00:59:58,267 --> 00:59:59,833
or whether your immortal soul...
400
00:59:59,867 --> 01:00:03,233
is going to Apophis,
the Devourer of the Dead.
401
01:00:03,267 --> 01:00:06,300
It's exactly as it sounds,
the Devourer of the Dead.
402
01:00:06,333 --> 01:00:08,733
I blame the Egyptians.
403
01:00:08,767 --> 01:00:12,467
I mean, good with make-up and
all that, but fucking morbid.
404
01:00:12,500 --> 01:00:14,333
Who'd have thought that
they'd know what they were
talking about
405
01:00:14,367 --> 01:00:18,300
when it comes to the afterlife?
I were a Catholic.
406
01:00:18,333 --> 01:00:24,500
I would expect to see Jesus,
and me Nan, Saint Patrick...
407
01:00:24,533 --> 01:00:27,800
I were gobsmacked.
408
01:00:27,833 --> 01:00:31,400
You could have knocked me
down... with a feather!
409
01:00:31,433 --> 01:00:36,567
Eh, nice, ain't it?
Vulture feather.
410
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:44,033
Stands for silence
and truth and all that.
411
01:00:44,067 --> 01:00:47,833
So, James, let's see if your
heart
412
01:00:47,867 --> 01:00:53,800
is heavier than silence
and truth, shall we?
413
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:07,300
Oh, dear. Oh, that's bad.
414
01:01:09,500 --> 01:01:13,633
Oh, that's like moral
cholesterol that...
415
01:01:13,667 --> 01:01:16,100
laying it down.
Hey, it's all that womanising.
416
01:01:16,133 --> 01:01:20,167
It puts on the pounds, James.
It puts on the pounds.
417
01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:23,800
Looks like we'll be throwing
you to Apophis.
418
01:01:23,833 --> 01:01:28,200
I'm sorry, James, there's
fuck all we can do about this.
419
01:01:28,233 --> 01:01:35,767
On reflection, you're a
worthless fucking shit with a
heavy heart.
420
01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:41,633
Fancy suits, fast cars,
boozing, women...
421
01:01:41,667 --> 01:01:45,567
You're a consumer. So think on
it like this, eh kid.
422
01:01:45,600 --> 01:01:49,433
It's only fair that
you get consumed.
423
01:03:03,167 --> 01:03:04,500
I'll tell you what, James.
424
01:03:04,533 --> 01:03:07,100
We'll get this over and done
with as quick as possible.
425
01:03:07,133 --> 01:03:08,633
We're not sadists, James.
426
01:03:08,667 --> 01:03:13,433
We're not enjoying this. Even
Apophis, he's not enjoying this.
427
01:03:13,467 --> 01:03:18,400
I mean, eating the dead,
that's fucking horrible.
428
01:03:18,433 --> 01:03:22,633
You tell me... Does he look like
he's enjoying it?
429
01:03:22,667 --> 01:03:28,667
Oh, c'mon, James, be a man. Be a
man for once in your fucking
life.
430
01:03:28,700 --> 01:03:34,367
I'm sorry, Apophis. It's not
us, it's soppy-bollocks here,
showing us up.
431
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:36,267
Come on, James.
Don't keep him waiting.
432
01:03:36,300 --> 01:03:39,033
If you keep him waiting, You're
only gonna make him hungrier.
433
01:03:39,067 --> 01:03:41,500
Don't shirk the inevitable.
434
01:03:43,500 --> 01:03:46,267
Let's get you out of that.
Stop struggling.
435
01:03:46,300 --> 01:03:48,033
This is gonna happen, James.
436
01:03:48,067 --> 01:03:52,800
This is happening and there's
nothing you can do about it, Ok?
437
01:03:52,833 --> 01:03:56,200
Let's get this strap off.
Don't struggle.
438
01:03:56,233 --> 01:04:00,267
You saw the scales.
You saw the feather.
439
01:04:00,300 --> 01:04:02,700
We can't make
any exceptions for you, James.
440
01:04:02,733 --> 01:04:05,033
If we did that, it wouldn't be
fair on the others.
441
01:04:05,067 --> 01:04:09,433
And Apophis, he's good at what
he does. It only takes a
minute...
442
01:04:09,467 --> 01:04:10,500
Come on.
443
01:04:12,433 --> 01:04:18,233
Why are you making this so
difficult? He is practically
ruining my weekend.
444
01:04:18,267 --> 01:04:22,600
Why don't you just
let us do our jobs... why?
445
01:04:23,867 --> 01:04:25,467
Please... please...
446
01:04:25,500 --> 01:04:31,633
Please what? Please let you go?
No, we can't do that, James.
447
01:04:31,667 --> 01:04:33,333
We'd be in trouble.
448
01:04:33,367 --> 01:04:37,167
And I don't think you'd do
anything in return for us, would
you?
449
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:39,133
Sorry, James,
I couldn't quite catch that.
450
01:04:39,167 --> 01:04:43,367
- Did you catch that, Beryl?
- He said he'd do anything.
451
01:04:43,400 --> 01:04:50,167
James, would you do
anything? Would you do anything?
Would you?
452
01:04:53,633 --> 01:04:58,333
Beryl, maybe we could...
453
01:05:04,233 --> 01:05:09,133
No, it's too risky. C'mon. Up
you get. Get him on his feet.
454
01:05:12,167 --> 01:05:20,567
If... if we were to let you
go... and that is an if...
455
01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:23,300
then you'd have to do
everything what we say.
456
01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:31,467
But could we trust you, James?
Could we? Could we trust you?
457
01:05:34,767 --> 01:05:36,733
All right, come on.
458
01:05:41,400 --> 01:05:44,267
Don't make me regret this,
James.
459
01:05:51,800 --> 01:05:57,200
Thank you. Thank you. No, no.
You won't regret it, I promise
you.
460
01:05:57,233 --> 01:05:58,733
I hope not.
461
01:05:58,767 --> 01:06:02,500
Do you know what you've agreed
to, don't you?
462
01:06:02,533 --> 01:06:05,100
Any time we need your talents
463
01:06:05,133 --> 01:06:07,167
whatever they may be
when they're at home
464
01:06:07,200 --> 01:06:10,500
you make yourself available.
465
01:06:10,533 --> 01:06:15,033
Otherwise we bring you back here
and feed you to Apophis
466
01:06:15,067 --> 01:06:17,133
from the bottom up.
467
01:06:17,167 --> 01:06:19,333
Which means your head
will still be screaming
468
01:06:19,367 --> 01:06:23,100
after your feet have been
digested and are halfway out the
other end.
469
01:06:23,133 --> 01:06:24,733
Do I make myself clear?
470
01:06:24,767 --> 01:06:32,633
Yes, yes. Yes, whatever you
want, whenever you want. I
understand.
471
01:06:32,667 --> 01:06:40,600
Good. Well... I'm glad that
we've reached this little
agreement.
472
01:06:43,067 --> 01:06:45,467
You're not such a bad bloke,
are you?
473
01:06:45,500 --> 01:06:53,167
Underneath all the lying and
the cheating and the groping?
474
01:06:53,200 --> 01:06:58,633
It'd be a shame if a fellow
with your potential ended up as
shit and leftovers.
475
01:07:04,200 --> 01:07:15,400
Well, all we've to do is sort
out your accommodation, and...
well, we're done.
476
01:07:19,800 --> 01:07:22,067
Accommodation?
477
01:07:27,500 --> 01:07:32,333
I'll have to find you somewhere
to sleep. It's only manners,
isn't it?
478
01:07:32,367 --> 01:07:38,167
Hey, there might be space up in
my room. Should you like that?
479
01:07:39,533 --> 01:07:47,333
Well, uh... that's great, but...
480
01:07:47,367 --> 01:07:54,700
Well, I got my own flat up by
that park there, the Racecourse
is it?
481
01:07:54,733 --> 01:08:01,533
Up there, yeah. I'll be fine...
I don't want to impose on you...
482
01:08:07,500 --> 01:08:11,367
It wouldn't be an imposition.
483
01:08:11,400 --> 01:08:17,067
Besides, it gets a bit boring
up there on me own...
484
01:08:17,100 --> 01:08:20,433
I like a bit of company, left
to me own devices, don't I,
Beryl?
485
01:08:20,467 --> 01:08:24,100
Oh, he likes a bit of company.
He's very sociable.
486
01:08:24,133 --> 01:08:27,700
Oh, I am. I'm very sociable.
487
01:08:27,733 --> 01:08:31,833
And that flat of yours, that was
for when you were alive.
488
01:08:31,867 --> 01:08:35,600
Living rooms, they're for the
living.
489
01:08:35,633 --> 01:08:39,333
And besides, us being
posthumous, well...
490
01:08:39,367 --> 01:08:44,200
the world out there is not what
it was.
491
01:08:44,233 --> 01:08:47,233
Not what it was?
492
01:08:48,700 --> 01:08:52,800
Gone... for you, James.
493
01:08:52,833 --> 01:08:58,700
I know you must feel a bit
reluctant about shacking up with
me.
494
01:08:58,733 --> 01:09:02,033
That's completely
understandable.
495
01:09:02,067 --> 01:09:04,467
Most people would feel a bit
reluctant about shacking up
496
01:09:04,500 --> 01:09:06,767
and having sex with a dead
clown.
497
01:09:07,867 --> 01:09:09,400
Wouldn't they, Beryl?
498
01:09:09,433 --> 01:09:13,133
To most people it's literally
the last thing they want.
499
01:09:13,167 --> 01:09:16,433
But then, you've got fewer
options these days. Aren't you
with me, lad?
500
01:09:18,733 --> 01:09:24,400
The world you knew
is not there any more.
501
01:09:28,767 --> 01:09:33,167
Wh-what do you mean?
502
01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:34,600
Come with me.
503
01:09:44,433 --> 01:09:49,633
It's where Northampton
goes when it's asleep.
504
01:09:49,667 --> 01:09:54,300
It's where a town goes when it
dies.
505
01:09:54,333 --> 01:10:02,800
It's very dark. There's no
light. It's all tunnel.
506
01:10:21,133 --> 01:10:24,600
Nighthampton, we call it.
507
01:11:15,267 --> 01:11:19,200
English Subtitles:
FLAVIA FERREIRA DOS SANTOS
508
01:11:20,300 --> 01:11:23,800
Subtitles produced by
FLAVIO PESSANHA
39895
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