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1
00:00:00,421 --> 00:00:02,831
♪♪
2
00:00:06,927 --> 00:00:10,007
Okay, you guys
are all tied up.
3
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,260
(GASPS) Jorge,
there's a snake
on your foot.
4
00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:13,263
What?
5
00:00:15,136 --> 00:00:17,096
Sometimes,
it's just too easy.
6
00:00:18,599 --> 00:00:20,269
Where's Lou
with the mail?
7
00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:21,811
Why do you
want the mail?
8
00:00:21,812 --> 00:00:24,242
Every week, you get
the same postcard
from your mother
9
00:00:24,235 --> 00:00:27,855
that says,
"Don't disappoint me."
10
00:00:27,858 --> 00:00:32,408
We're expecting a package
from the world famous horror
novelist Stephanie Queen.
11
00:00:32,413 --> 00:00:35,333
Why is a famous author
sending you two stuff?
12
00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:37,786
I'd guess you're starting
a book club, but you know...
13
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:40,368
Jorge.
14
00:00:40,371 --> 00:00:44,931
Actually, we both
entered her annual
scary short story contest.
15
00:00:44,925 --> 00:00:48,005
My story was called,
Labyrinth of the Mind:
16
00:00:48,008 --> 00:00:51,628
One Girl's Terrifying Journey
into the Madness of Her Soul.
17
00:00:51,632 --> 00:00:54,272
Well, that would win for
"Most Boring Title Ever."
18
00:00:55,766 --> 00:00:58,226
What was yours called
Fart of Darkness?
19
00:00:59,730 --> 00:01:02,770
No, it was called
Blood Bags!
20
00:01:02,773 --> 00:01:05,783
And it was about
bags of blood.
21
00:01:05,776 --> 00:01:07,236
Jorge! Tiffany!
Guess what?
22
00:01:07,238 --> 00:01:09,568
You got a package
from Stephanie Queen!
23
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:13,360
I loved her book,
The Crowded Coffin.
JORGE: Me too!
24
00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:16,664
It proved you could fit
20 bodies in one coffin,
25
00:01:16,657 --> 00:01:18,327
if you cut them up
the right way.
26
00:01:20,201 --> 00:01:22,961
Anyway, the winner gets
to bring three friends
27
00:01:22,963 --> 00:01:25,553
to meet Stephanie Queen
at her summer cabin.
28
00:01:25,546 --> 00:01:26,796
So open up
the package!
29
00:01:28,419 --> 00:01:30,299
This is for Tiffany.
30
00:01:30,301 --> 00:01:32,711
And this is for Jorge.
31
00:01:32,713 --> 00:01:34,853
Gee, I wonder
who could have won.
32
00:01:37,348 --> 00:01:40,308
JACK-IN-THE-BOX: (LAUGHING)
You lose! You lose!
33
00:01:40,311 --> 00:01:41,851
I lost?
34
00:01:42,683 --> 00:01:45,033
Loser!
35
00:01:45,025 --> 00:01:48,565
(SIGHS) I probably lost
to some professional writer
who sent in their story.
36
00:01:48,569 --> 00:01:50,279
I won!
37
00:01:52,283 --> 00:01:55,663
Or to somebody
who still says "puh-sketti."
38
00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:57,947
♪ Here we go
39
00:01:57,948 --> 00:02:01,158
♪ We're leaving the city
behind right now
40
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:03,452
♪ Let's gather by
the campfire light
41
00:02:03,454 --> 00:02:05,304
♪ And sing this song
42
00:02:05,296 --> 00:02:07,126
ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka
43
00:02:08,339 --> 00:02:10,749
♪ Hanging out
with someone new
44
00:02:10,751 --> 00:02:13,381
♪ Then falling out
of a camp canoe
45
00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:15,474
♪ What's that smell?
It's on your shoe
46
00:02:15,466 --> 00:02:17,216
ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka
47
00:02:18,469 --> 00:02:20,429
♪ Got a s'more in my hair
48
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:23,061
♪ Mosquitos in
our underwear
49
00:02:23,063 --> 00:02:25,193
♪ Shower's broke
but we don't care
50
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,976
ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka
51
00:02:26,977 --> 00:02:31,857
♪ This is our home away
from home away from
home away from home
52
00:02:31,862 --> 00:02:36,282
♪ But watch your back
A bear just ate my phone
53
00:02:36,277 --> 00:02:38,487
ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka
54
00:02:38,489 --> 00:02:40,909
ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka
55
00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:44,461
ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪
56
00:02:53,344 --> 00:02:55,224
With any luck,
this birdhouse
will be quite
57
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,466
the "chick magnet."
(CHUCKLES)
58
00:02:57,758 --> 00:02:59,008
Get it?
59
00:02:59,009 --> 00:03:01,889
Because chicks are birds?
60
00:03:01,892 --> 00:03:05,482
I deeply regret giving you
that bird joke book.
61
00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:09,306
Really? Because I thought
it was eggs-cellent.
62
00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:11,110
(LAUGHS) Okay, that was
not even in the book.
63
00:03:11,111 --> 00:03:12,481
I was just riffing.
64
00:03:14,074 --> 00:03:15,494
Oy.
65
00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:17,486
I think the birdhouse
should face the lake.
66
00:03:17,488 --> 00:03:19,118
That way, after
a long day of flying,
67
00:03:19,119 --> 00:03:21,489
they can just relax and enjoy
the view of the setting sun.
68
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:23,162
Emma, they are birds.
69
00:03:23,163 --> 00:03:26,173
Not an elderly couple
enjoying their retirement.
70
00:03:26,166 --> 00:03:30,246
And studies have shown
birdhouses facing east
hatch more young.
71
00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:32,001
But that faces the mess hall.
72
00:03:32,002 --> 00:03:34,932
Seeing campers eat eggs
is not going to get them
in the mood to lay any.
73
00:03:36,297 --> 00:03:38,887
Please, what do you
know about birds?
74
00:03:38,889 --> 00:03:40,469
I know they make
a terrible sound
75
00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:41,601
when they hit the windows
of our penthouse.
76
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,733
Are you still hanging
that birdhouse?
77
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,345
By the time you're done,
78
00:03:46,347 --> 00:03:48,847
the birds will have
flown south to their
condos in Miami.
79
00:03:48,849 --> 00:03:50,809
Ravi and I can't
agree on anything.
80
00:03:50,811 --> 00:03:53,151
He keeps shooting
down my ideas.
81
00:03:53,153 --> 00:03:57,743
Because they are all nuttier
than a chipmunk's cheeks
at a cashew convention.
82
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,358
Well, let's each
make our case,
83
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,660
and let Xander
decide which way
the birdhouse should go.
84
00:04:01,662 --> 00:04:04,582
No way. Xander is
your boyfriend.
85
00:04:04,575 --> 00:04:07,865
He will not side against
the person who gives him
all those sweet smooches.
86
00:04:07,868 --> 00:04:09,458
(MIMICS SMOOCHES)
87
00:04:11,372 --> 00:04:13,502
And now I know
why you've never
had a second date.
88
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:18,465
Okay, when I'm trying
to resolve issues
with other counselors,
89
00:04:18,469 --> 00:04:21,339
I find it's best to
start with a hug and...
Zip it, hippie!
90
00:04:23,053 --> 00:04:26,393
Emma, it should
face this way!
91
00:04:26,387 --> 00:04:27,767
No!
92
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,978
(BOTH GRUNTING)
93
00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:32,560
You really want
to play tug of war
with me, noodle arms?
94
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,453
Guys, careful!
95
00:04:34,445 --> 00:04:35,445
(BOTH YELL)
96
00:04:37,358 --> 00:04:40,488
That would have hurt
a lot less if you'd let me
put in wall-to-wall carpeting!
97
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:45,004
Thanks again for
inviting us, Jorge.
98
00:04:44,995 --> 00:04:47,495
I can't believe
we actually get to
meet Stephanie Queen.
99
00:04:47,498 --> 00:04:50,908
I can't believe
Jorge took a shower.
100
00:04:50,911 --> 00:04:55,681
Hey, meeting a famous
person is one of my top
three reasons to bathe.
101
00:04:55,676 --> 00:04:59,716
Number one is when
I get a bad case
of the number twos.
102
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,510
No wonder you
beat me, Jorge.
103
00:05:01,512 --> 00:05:03,842
You paint such
beautiful word pictures.
104
00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:11,137
Uh, guys,
I think we're here.
105
00:05:11,141 --> 00:05:13,431
Ooh, I hope
she's serving
puh-sketti!
106
00:05:15,275 --> 00:05:18,645
Wow! I guess
she hasn't sold as many
books as we thought.
107
00:05:19,940 --> 00:05:21,570
Yeah, I've heard
of a fixer-upper,
108
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:24,072
but this is
a burner-downer.
109
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,624
I think
it's awesome.
110
00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:27,656
And I bet she has
a really spooky doorbell.
111
00:05:28,659 --> 00:05:30,119
(DOORBELL RINGING)
112
00:05:30,951 --> 00:05:31,951
Well, that was lame.
113
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,554
Greetings!
(ALL SCREAMING)
114
00:05:35,546 --> 00:05:37,506
I do that to everyone
who comes to my door.
115
00:05:37,508 --> 00:05:41,798
Which might explain
why the pizza guy won't
deliver here anymore.
116
00:05:41,802 --> 00:05:44,892
I just saw my whole life
flash before my eyes.
117
00:05:44,885 --> 00:05:47,095
I have spent
way too much
time around cows.
118
00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:49,809
Please, come in.
119
00:05:49,810 --> 00:05:53,230
But first, empty all
of your pocket change
into this jar.
120
00:05:55,145 --> 00:05:57,525
Uh, you have
a metal detector?
121
00:05:57,528 --> 00:05:58,978
No, I need laundry money.
122
00:06:02,823 --> 00:06:05,873
Watch that board,
there's a loose screw there.
123
00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:10,448
That board's not
the only thing
with a screw loose.
124
00:06:13,544 --> 00:06:16,634
Thanks to all of your arguing,
we have to start this
project all over again.
125
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:21,757
How can I not argue with
someone who wishes to put
a bidet in a birdhouse?
126
00:06:21,762 --> 00:06:23,802
It's for European swallows!
127
00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:29,266
Fine!
Xander, bidet or no bidet?
128
00:06:29,269 --> 00:06:31,639
Well...
Before you finish
that sentence, honey,
129
00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:34,732
you should know,
I might be free to "chat"
at the "spot" tonight.
130
00:06:34,725 --> 00:06:36,645
Every bird deserves
a butt washer.
131
00:06:37,728 --> 00:06:40,278
Dude, I am your CIT!
132
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,520
Whatever happened
to pals before gals?
133
00:06:42,523 --> 00:06:44,023
(SCOFFS) You know who
came up with that saying?
134
00:06:44,024 --> 00:06:46,534
A guy with no girlfriend.
135
00:06:46,527 --> 00:06:50,027
Xander, bro,
tell her I am right.
136
00:06:50,030 --> 00:06:53,620
Xander, sweetie,
tell him I'm right.
137
00:06:53,624 --> 00:06:57,304
Uh... Okay,
I hear what both
of you are saying.
138
00:06:57,297 --> 00:06:59,587
And my decision is...
139
00:06:59,590 --> 00:07:01,170
To go for a swim.
140
00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:07,215
Would you like to see
my Spookelton Award?
141
00:07:07,217 --> 00:07:10,597
I won it for my novel,
Hard Hammers, Soft Faces.
142
00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:14,822
Which had the best
catch phrase ever.
143
00:07:14,815 --> 00:07:17,555
BOTH: "Nailed it!"
(LAUGHING)
144
00:07:17,558 --> 00:07:19,608
That book is
not overrated!
145
00:07:19,610 --> 00:07:21,110
You're just jealous because
you didn't think of it.
146
00:07:22,983 --> 00:07:25,283
Is she talking
to that moose?
147
00:07:25,275 --> 00:07:27,065
If it talks back,
I'm out of here.
148
00:07:28,779 --> 00:07:30,659
Hey, is this a toaster?
149
00:07:31,662 --> 00:07:33,742
No, that's Larry.
150
00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:38,706
Jorge, maybe someday
you'll win a Spookelton.
151
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:41,839
Your story
was bone-chilling.
152
00:07:41,842 --> 00:07:45,852
It was not better
than mine.
153
00:07:45,846 --> 00:07:49,586
You know, if that
dead moose is being rude,
you can just take it down.
154
00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:53,721
No, I can't.
He owns the house.
155
00:07:55,646 --> 00:07:57,896
I think she needs to have
her well-water checked.
156
00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:02,900
Ooh, what's in that room
marked "Top Secret"?
157
00:08:02,903 --> 00:08:05,743
I hope it's not
the rest of that moose.
158
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,236
Oh, nothing.
159
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,737
Just what I'm working on
for my new book,
160
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:12,700
which, despite
the opinion of some,
161
00:08:12,703 --> 00:08:15,423
is going to be
my best book ever.
162
00:08:15,415 --> 00:08:17,745
Can we see what's
behind that door?
163
00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:20,078
I promise
I won't tell anyone.
164
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:25,220
And even if I do,
I've earned a solid
reputation as a huge liar.
165
00:08:26,837 --> 00:08:28,427
Good for you.
166
00:08:28,428 --> 00:08:30,428
Follow me to the basement.
167
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:37,274
So, we're going
into the basement
of a crazy woman
168
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,807
who comes up
with clever ideas
to murder people.
169
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,770
What could possibly
go wrong?
170
00:08:44,104 --> 00:08:46,244
Right this way.
171
00:08:46,236 --> 00:08:48,906
This is gonna be
so cool!
172
00:08:48,909 --> 00:08:52,569
Remember, you can't say a word
about what you see in here.
173
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,623
Don't worry, my lips
are sealed tighter
than that time
174
00:08:54,615 --> 00:08:56,705
I fell face first
into a sewing machine!
175
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:05,630
Wow!
Please, look around.
I decorated it myself.
176
00:09:05,626 --> 00:09:10,086
It is not tacky.
It's eclectic!
177
00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:13,340
(SIGHS) Can you believe
how rude they are?
178
00:09:13,343 --> 00:09:17,103
Hey, I had a pet bird
just like this
when I was young.
179
00:09:17,097 --> 00:09:19,727
I begged my dad for
one that was alive,
but he said no.
180
00:09:19,730 --> 00:09:21,810
(DOOR CLOSING)
(LOCK LATCHING)
181
00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:24,612
Uh... Ms. Queen?
182
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,945
Where did she go?
Nice, Lou.
183
00:09:26,947 --> 00:09:30,527
Your childhood is so weird,
it scared off a horror writer.
184
00:09:33,403 --> 00:09:36,583
Uh... Guys,
it's locked.
185
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,456
(MONITOR BEEPS)
(CHUCKLING)
186
00:09:38,458 --> 00:09:41,828
Welcome to my Riddle Room.
187
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,042
What's a Riddle Room?
188
00:09:43,043 --> 00:09:46,923
I have a feeling
it's not as cute
as it sounds.
189
00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:49,417
If you want to
get out of there,
you'll have to solve riddles
190
00:09:49,419 --> 00:09:52,129
based on your knowledge
of my books.
191
00:09:52,132 --> 00:09:54,552
So, picture this...
192
00:09:54,554 --> 00:09:56,984
A right answer
gets you another clue.
193
00:09:56,977 --> 00:09:58,557
A wrong answer
194
00:09:58,558 --> 00:10:00,848
gets you stuffed
and put on my wall.
195
00:10:00,851 --> 00:10:02,891
What?
Why would
you do this?
196
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,733
Because she's crazy!
197
00:10:05,686 --> 00:10:07,606
I prefer kooky. Bye.
198
00:10:08,729 --> 00:10:10,189
What are we going to do?
199
00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:13,860
Don't worry, guys.
I'm trained for any
and all situations.
200
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,164
Except this one.
201
00:10:18,739 --> 00:10:20,239
I'm too young to die!
202
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,830
Me, too! I've never
performed at Carnegie Hall!
203
00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:24,583
And I've never...
204
00:10:24,584 --> 00:10:26,014
I mean,
I've never even...
205
00:10:27,297 --> 00:10:30,247
Huh, I've done everything.
206
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,630
Forget too young,
I'm too cool to die!
207
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:37,024
Nobody is going to die!
We just need to find
our first clue.
208
00:10:37,017 --> 00:10:39,097
Wait, remember what
Ms. Queen said?
209
00:10:39,099 --> 00:10:40,969
That I was a better
writer than you?
210
00:10:42,102 --> 00:10:43,892
Congratulations, Jorge.
211
00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:46,984
The crazy woman
who's torturing us
thinks you're a good writer.
212
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:52,189
I meant, she emphasized
the word "picture,"
so that must be a clue.
213
00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:55,493
Maybe it's that picture!
214
00:10:55,485 --> 00:10:57,615
He kinda looks like
my weird Uncle Virgil.
215
00:10:57,617 --> 00:11:02,407
He was a Merchant Marine
who did time for
lima bean smuggling.
216
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:05,672
I don't know
what's scarier,
this room or Lou's family.
217
00:11:07,087 --> 00:11:08,997
Maybe there's something
behind the picture!
218
00:11:10,841 --> 00:11:11,751
Tiffany, no!
219
00:11:16,056 --> 00:11:18,966
Jorge, you saved my life!
220
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:20,759
Yep, now you owe me.
221
00:11:20,761 --> 00:11:23,181
I'll take my thank you
in kisses.
222
00:11:25,395 --> 00:11:27,805
I'd rather have
an anchor sticking
out of my skull.
223
00:11:30,020 --> 00:11:31,860
Jorge, how did you
know that anchor
was going to fall?
224
00:11:31,862 --> 00:11:35,082
Because that's a picture
of Admiral Smith,
225
00:11:35,075 --> 00:11:39,815
who used an anchor to
kill his nosey first mate
in the book Murder Boat.
226
00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:43,320
How do you remember that?
Yesterday, you forgot to
put on pants for lunch.
227
00:11:44,915 --> 00:11:48,535
And Admiral Smith loved
to leave hidden clues.
228
00:11:48,538 --> 00:11:51,128
Wait, I think
I see something
on the frame!
229
00:11:51,131 --> 00:11:53,091
It says...
230
00:11:53,093 --> 00:11:57,393
"Made in China."
What do you think
that means?
231
00:11:57,387 --> 00:12:00,257
That you're not going
to be much help
solving these riddles.
232
00:12:01,681 --> 00:12:03,641
Hey, there's something
written on the scroll.
233
00:12:04,895 --> 00:12:08,935
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
234
00:12:08,939 --> 00:12:11,189
The writing is backwards.
Look in the mirror!
235
00:12:12,692 --> 00:12:15,532
"Until I am measured,
I am not known.
236
00:12:15,525 --> 00:12:17,945
"Yet how you miss me
when I have flown."
237
00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:21,910
Oh, the answer is time.
238
00:12:21,912 --> 00:12:25,132
So our next clue must be
in that clock on the wall.
239
00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:27,955
And now it's time
to go home.
240
00:12:27,958 --> 00:12:29,828
No! The clock
is a trap, too!
241
00:12:34,294 --> 00:12:36,434
Look! The clue
is in the dart!
242
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,968
Wow, all these traps
are very elaborate.
243
00:12:40,971 --> 00:12:43,801
I know. When does
this woman find
time to write?
244
00:12:46,847 --> 00:12:47,937
(MOANS)
245
00:12:49,479 --> 00:12:52,349
Oh, let me guess.
You think I'm hanging
this net up wrong,
246
00:12:52,352 --> 00:12:53,982
and you're gonna tell me
a better way to do it.
247
00:12:53,984 --> 00:12:57,364
Of course not. I will
just come back later
and fix your work.
248
00:12:57,357 --> 00:12:58,397
Per uzsh.
249
00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,660
I am sick of fighting.
250
00:13:01,661 --> 00:13:04,201
So let's just not talk
to each other for
the rest of the summer.
251
00:13:04,204 --> 00:13:06,624
Finally, you have
a good idea!
252
00:13:06,616 --> 00:13:07,746
See you in New York!
253
00:13:09,249 --> 00:13:10,499
Ravi, we're still
at the same camp.
254
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:11,830
You're going to
see me at dinner.
255
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,832
Well, that is not
as dramatic, is it?
256
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,875
Sorry to interrupt
your bickering,
257
00:13:16,877 --> 00:13:19,417
but Lou and the kids
still haven't come back
from Stephanie Queen's.
258
00:13:19,419 --> 00:13:22,009
Should we be worried?
Yes! We should
go look for them.
259
00:13:22,012 --> 00:13:25,232
Okay, but I'm not going
to listen to any more
of your stupid fighting.
260
00:13:25,225 --> 00:13:27,185
Message received, Xander.
261
00:13:27,187 --> 00:13:30,057
Emma and I will stop
putting you in the middle
of our family squabbles.
262
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,770
No, I mean, I'm not
going to listen to it.
263
00:13:34,985 --> 00:13:37,195
(SPEAKING LOUDLY)
Tap me on the shoulder if
you hear the kids screaming.
264
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,650
(BEEPING)
Howdy-do, victims.
265
00:13:43,653 --> 00:13:46,953
Uh, you might want to
zoom out a bit, Ms. Queen.
266
00:13:46,947 --> 00:13:49,037
Yeah, and grab
a tissue.
267
00:13:49,039 --> 00:13:50,909
You got some bats
in the cave.
268
00:13:53,003 --> 00:13:55,053
There!
269
00:13:55,045 --> 00:14:00,545
Not bad so far,
but the puzzles are
going to get harder.
270
00:14:00,550 --> 00:14:03,220
And your lives are going
to get shorter.
271
00:14:03,223 --> 00:14:07,063
Now, what do you think
of this?
272
00:14:07,057 --> 00:14:08,727
(CHUCKLING)
273
00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:17,191
Uh... I think you're
fooling yourself if you
think you can pass for 22.
274
00:14:17,187 --> 00:14:20,107
It also says
she's great with kids.
That thing is full of lies.
275
00:14:21,821 --> 00:14:24,151
Oh, sorry!
Wrong button.
(CLEARS THROAT)
276
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:25,834
What I meant was,
277
00:14:25,825 --> 00:14:30,115
it seems your camp friends
have come looking for you.
278
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,160
TIFFANY: Look!
They came to rescue us!
279
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:35,712
Too bad they'll
never find you!
(LAUGHING)
280
00:14:37,547 --> 00:14:39,087
(KNOCKING)
281
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:43,050
What a fine-looking
bunch of young people.
282
00:14:43,053 --> 00:14:44,423
Aw, why, thank you.
283
00:14:44,424 --> 00:14:47,224
I feel like I have
really started to
grow into my face.
284
00:14:48,848 --> 00:14:50,178
We're looking for
our friends.
285
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:51,390
They came here
to have lunch with you.
286
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,141
Ah, yes!
287
00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:55,483
They were here,
but they left
just after eating.
288
00:14:55,475 --> 00:14:57,275
Good day!
Oh, uh...
289
00:14:57,277 --> 00:14:59,517
You know, Ms. Queen,
I, too, have written a book.
290
00:14:59,519 --> 00:15:02,019
My protagonist
is Dr. Ravi Ross,
291
00:15:02,022 --> 00:15:05,162
part-time crime solver,
full-time ladies' man.
292
00:15:06,286 --> 00:15:07,576
Obviously fiction.
293
00:15:09,579 --> 00:15:11,159
This is why I don't
do book signings.
294
00:15:12,702 --> 00:15:15,172
ALL: (SHOUTING) Help!
295
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,915
They can't hear us.
296
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,296
Maybe if we bang on something,
they'll feel the vibrations!
297
00:15:19,299 --> 00:15:20,839
Great idea, Lou!
298
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:24,250
The two hardest things
in here are the anchor
and Jorge's head.
299
00:15:24,254 --> 00:15:26,974
I'll start smashing
them together.
300
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:29,177
Wouldn't banging
on the ceiling with
the cane work, too?
301
00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:31,049
Sure. It just wouldn't
be as much fun.
302
00:15:33,353 --> 00:15:35,983
(ALL SCREAMING)
303
00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:38,436
Thanks for stopping by.
Good luck with your book.
304
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,188
Oh, may I send
you a copy...
No.
305
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:41,190
It sounds dreadful.
306
00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:42,651
Wait...
307
00:15:42,652 --> 00:15:44,862
What was that?
A noise.
308
00:15:44,864 --> 00:15:46,454
Bye.
Wait!
309
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,156
(BANGING)
310
00:15:48,158 --> 00:15:49,948
Those plates are full.
311
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,409
I thought you said
our friends left
after lunch.
312
00:15:52,412 --> 00:15:56,082
They filled up
on bread sticks.
313
00:15:56,076 --> 00:15:57,496
Do you mind
if we come in
and look around?
314
00:15:57,497 --> 00:15:59,837
I guess. But don't
step on the carpet.
315
00:15:59,839 --> 00:16:01,249
He's cranky today.
316
00:16:09,299 --> 00:16:11,759
Nice moose.
317
00:16:11,761 --> 00:16:13,301
Not when you
get to know him.
318
00:16:13,303 --> 00:16:15,233
(BANGING CONTINUES)
319
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,355
Ms. Queen, have you got
our friends trapped in here?
320
00:16:17,357 --> 00:16:18,977
Absolutely not.
321
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,938
You haven't see any
trapped children, have you?
322
00:16:22,862 --> 00:16:25,112
Don't listen to him.
He's cuckoo.
(MIMICS CUCKOO)
323
00:16:25,105 --> 00:16:27,605
(BANGING CONTINUES)
The noise is coming
from the basement!
324
00:16:27,607 --> 00:16:28,777
They must be
down there!
325
00:16:31,571 --> 00:16:33,241
(ALL SCREAMING)
326
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:35,793
No.
Don't go in there!
327
00:16:35,785 --> 00:16:38,245
That's where
I keep my deadly
fungus collection.
328
00:16:39,119 --> 00:16:40,579
Nice try, crazy lady.
329
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:42,500
We are done falling
for your tricks.
330
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,832
Yeah!
(EXCLAIMS)
331
00:16:44,834 --> 00:16:47,634
No!
XANDER: A closet?
332
00:16:47,627 --> 00:16:49,387
EMMA: What?
RAVI: Huh?
333
00:16:49,389 --> 00:16:50,129
(ALL SCREAMING)
334
00:16:52,592 --> 00:16:54,342
What happened to them?
335
00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:55,604
(ALL SCREAMING)
336
00:17:01,981 --> 00:17:05,321
Okay, now we are done
falling for her tricks.
337
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:15,291
Emma, you are not
going to find a clue
in the mirror!
338
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:16,285
I know.
339
00:17:17,657 --> 00:17:20,327
Guys, you said
there were clues
in the book titles!
340
00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:22,000
What are some other
Stephanie Queen books?
341
00:17:22,001 --> 00:17:24,291
Let's see, there's
Kissed by a Chainsaw,
342
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:27,474
Skeletons Never Snitch...
There's a skeleton
over there!
343
00:17:27,467 --> 00:17:29,257
Maybe there's
a clue in here!
344
00:17:29,259 --> 00:17:30,799
I hope so,
or pretty soon
345
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,300
we're all gonna
look like that.
346
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,813
Actually, based on
the moisture level
in the room,
347
00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:38,265
our decomposition
will probably take
closer to a year.
348
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,020
Where's a falling anchor
when you need one?
349
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:46,784
Guys, I got it!
350
00:17:46,776 --> 00:17:49,566
I can't believe we might
actually get out of here
without dying!
351
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:53,109
And I can't believe
the only thing between me
and death is Jorge's brain.
352
00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:56,873
(MONITOR BEEPING)
QUEEN: Well, well, I'm
impressed with your progress,
353
00:17:56,866 --> 00:17:59,286
as you can tell
by the look on my face.
354
00:17:59,289 --> 00:18:02,039
Ms. Queen,
we can't see your face.
355
00:18:02,041 --> 00:18:04,831
Old people...
356
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,804
This is worse than
video chatting with
my grandma!
357
00:18:09,469 --> 00:18:12,169
You're holding the final clue.
358
00:18:12,172 --> 00:18:16,432
Guess right, and you get
the code to the keypad...
And your freedom.
359
00:18:16,426 --> 00:18:20,556
Guess wrong, and your
fellow campers will be telling
ghost stories about you.
360
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,140
(GASPS)
Read the clue!
361
00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:23,642
Okay... Um...
362
00:18:23,643 --> 00:18:25,363
"I have a ring,
but no fingers.
363
00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:28,145
"I used to be in one
place, but now I follow
you everywhere.
364
00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:30,568
"What am I?"
Oh, I know!
365
00:18:30,570 --> 00:18:31,940
You're a riddle!
366
00:18:33,533 --> 00:18:35,793
I've got it!
It's a telephone!
367
00:18:35,785 --> 00:18:38,235
They have a ring,
and they used to be
plugged into the wall,
368
00:18:38,238 --> 00:18:40,078
but now you carry
them everywhere!
369
00:18:40,079 --> 00:18:42,869
Right! And in the book
"Ring, Ring, You're Dead,"
370
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,962
if you got a call
from a certain number,
you would die.
371
00:18:45,955 --> 00:18:47,745
So, the number
must be the code!
372
00:18:47,747 --> 00:18:48,877
Oh, I know this one!
373
00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:53,340
5-5-5-0-1-3-9!
(DEVICE BUZZING)
374
00:18:53,343 --> 00:18:54,633
BOTH: No!
(TV BEEPING)
375
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,144
(LAUGHS) Wrong answer!
376
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,096
Finally, a little bloodshed!
377
00:18:59,098 --> 00:19:01,638
But, that is the number!
I know that movie
inside and out.
378
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,061
It was a seven
in the book.
379
00:19:04,063 --> 00:19:06,233
They changed the number
for the movie!
380
00:19:06,226 --> 00:19:09,026
Yeah, because nine tested
better with audiences.
381
00:19:10,820 --> 00:19:12,440
Didn't you read
the book?
382
00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:15,412
No! It was way too long!
And Mama's got a life.
383
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,115
QUEEN: Not for long.
384
00:19:17,116 --> 00:19:20,616
I'm afraid you're going
to find your defeat rather...
385
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:23,910
Crushing.
(LAUGHING)
386
00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:25,593
What does she
mean by that?
387
00:19:25,585 --> 00:19:27,045
(ROOM RUMBLING)
388
00:19:28,498 --> 00:19:30,208
Guys, that wall
is moving!
389
00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:32,710
OMG! We're all going
to be human paninis!
390
00:19:32,712 --> 00:19:34,592
ALL: (SHOUTING) Help!
391
00:19:34,594 --> 00:19:37,474
Quiet! This is
no time to panic!
392
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:40,257
Oh, really? When would be
a good time to panic?
(SIGHS)
393
00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:42,010
We have to find a way
to short-circuit
394
00:19:42,011 --> 00:19:44,301
that electronic lock
to open the door.
395
00:19:44,304 --> 00:19:46,654
Great, let's just call
an electrician!
396
00:19:46,646 --> 00:19:49,646
That's ridiculous!
They charge double
on Saturdays!
397
00:19:49,649 --> 00:19:51,769
Meanwhile, the room
is getting smaller!
398
00:19:51,771 --> 00:19:54,191
Wait! Would a fire
short-circuit that lock?
399
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,533
Maybe, but how
would we start a fire?
400
00:19:56,526 --> 00:19:59,576
Tiffany, remember Stephanie's
book, Library, Die-brary?
401
00:19:59,579 --> 00:20:01,989
Yes! The evil librarian
used exploding books
402
00:20:01,991 --> 00:20:03,951
to punish people who
were talking too loud!
403
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:07,333
There's a copy right there.
I bet that book's
rigged to explode!
404
00:20:07,327 --> 00:20:10,497
Perfect! So we just put
the book under the keypad,
and make it explode!
405
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,090
You know, without
killing ourselves.
406
00:20:13,092 --> 00:20:14,712
That could work!
Move the book
over here!
407
00:20:18,428 --> 00:20:21,508
Oh! Book dust!
Big sneeze coming!
408
00:20:24,644 --> 00:20:26,024
Okay, everybody back up!
409
00:20:26,015 --> 00:20:28,185
Hurry up!
We're running
out of time!
410
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:31,770
(CIRCUITS SCRAMBLING)
411
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:35,453
It worked!
Everybody out!
Move, move, move!
412
00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:42,069
(SNEEZES)
Oh, that felt good.
413
00:20:47,577 --> 00:20:49,747
Surprise!
(ALL SCREAMING)
414
00:20:51,921 --> 00:20:54,961
Congratulations.
Welcome to your party.
415
00:20:54,964 --> 00:20:57,594
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
416
00:20:57,587 --> 00:21:00,717
A party because
we didn't die?
That's a thing?
417
00:21:02,432 --> 00:21:06,352
Why would we want to party
with someone who just tried
to crush us to death?
418
00:21:06,346 --> 00:21:07,886
Because there's
ice cream cake?
419
00:21:07,887 --> 00:21:10,347
Works for me!
420
00:21:10,350 --> 00:21:12,650
This is a little
thank you for helping
me write my newest book.
421
00:21:12,652 --> 00:21:15,402
It's about people trapped
in a Riddle Room.
422
00:21:15,395 --> 00:21:17,065
I'm writing a book, too.
423
00:21:17,066 --> 00:21:20,816
It's about a bunch of
campers who smack
the crazy out of a writer.
424
00:21:20,820 --> 00:21:21,860
Chapter one...
425
00:21:24,243 --> 00:21:26,543
I also have
gifts for you.
426
00:21:26,536 --> 00:21:28,366
Just follow me to
the gift wrapping room.
427
00:21:28,368 --> 00:21:30,958
It's in my sound proof,
gasoline soaked attic...
428
00:21:31,461 --> 00:21:32,871
Run!
429
00:21:32,872 --> 00:21:34,712
RAVI: Call the police!
430
00:21:34,714 --> 00:21:36,924
Ice cream cake
and presents?
431
00:21:36,916 --> 00:21:38,086
I'm staying.
432
00:21:38,087 --> 00:21:39,087
No, you're not.
433
00:21:42,091 --> 00:21:44,471
Oh, well,
more cake for us.
434
00:21:47,186 --> 00:21:48,386
And...
435
00:21:48,768 --> 00:21:50,098
Done.
436
00:21:50,099 --> 00:21:52,599
(CHUCKLES)
It is perfect.
437
00:21:52,602 --> 00:21:54,432
In New York, it would rent
for $2,000 a month.
438
00:21:56,195 --> 00:21:58,935
Especially with
a tree top view.
439
00:21:58,938 --> 00:22:00,858
You know, Ravi,
I'm really glad
we were able to put aside
440
00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:03,490
our petty differences
and work together.
441
00:22:03,493 --> 00:22:04,703
Me too.
442
00:22:04,704 --> 00:22:07,714
Oh! Hey, Xander,
what do you think of this?
443
00:22:07,707 --> 00:22:10,287
(SIGHS) Okay, that's it!
444
00:22:10,289 --> 00:22:11,619
I'm tired of you
two dragging me
445
00:22:11,621 --> 00:22:14,451
into the middle of your stupid
fight over a stupid birdhouse!
446
00:22:18,798 --> 00:22:21,668
Actually, we are not
fighting anymore.
447
00:22:21,671 --> 00:22:23,461
Yeah, we came
to a compromise.
448
00:22:24,303 --> 00:22:26,063
Oh...
(SQUIRTING)
449
00:22:29,929 --> 00:22:31,389
I see you went with the bidet.
34644
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