All language subtitles for Father.of.the.Year.2018.WEBRip.x264-FGT
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:47,297
[dog barking]
2
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,924
Dude, we should've just gone
straight to New York.
3
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:53,511
Come on, man. He's your dad, all right?
You can handle this.
4
00:00:56,514 --> 00:00:57,348
[Larry] Oh.
5
00:00:58,224 --> 00:00:59,976
There's the man himself.
6
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,770
Does he live down there?
7
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:05,148
I mean, it's technically his basement. So,
like, he spends a little time down there.
8
00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:09,152
[Larry] He's taking out your little
baby mattress. That's sweet.
9
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:12,947
No way does he think I'm gonna sleep on
that thing. It looks like it has eczema.
10
00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:16,367
[Larry] There's two sides.
You could just flip it over.
11
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,827
[Ben chuckles]
12
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:24,709
Great, dude. Now he's texting me. [scoffs]
13
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:27,295
It's gonna be okay,
14
00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:29,464
I'm gonna go in there with you,
all right? Come on.
15
00:01:33,092 --> 00:01:33,927
Hey, Dad.
16
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:37,680
Hey, Ben. I was just texting you.
17
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,058
-Look at this kid. My college graduate.
-Aw, yeah.
18
00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:42,727
Get in here! I'm so proud of you, man.
19
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:43,812
[laughs]
20
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:47,690
-Hey, uh, did you get those Q-tips?
-No, we were already here.
21
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,442
Ah.
22
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:52,946
-Sort of a 911 situation with my ears.
-Well...
23
00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:55,240
Hey, what about the, uh, six-pack?
Any news?
24
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,325
We were already here, Dad. So...
25
00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:59,160
-Ah, you fucked me. I'm kiddin' ya.
-Yeah.
26
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,329
-Who is this asshole?
-Hey!
27
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,957
Lawrence, I know you.
Got any Q-tips on you?
28
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,125
Nope, I don't.
29
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:06,334
Nothing in the car?
30
00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:07,710
I don't carry Q-tips.
31
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,003
We'll figure it out.
32
00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:13,883
Here we are. So, valetutorian?
33
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,760
[stutters] Wait, what is that again?
34
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:20,265
Valedictorian. It means that Ben
was the smartest kid in our whole school.
35
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:22,767
Of Western New Hampshire College.
36
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,269
It's like being a turd in a urinal.
37
00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:25,645
Don't always downplay it, okay?
38
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:27,564
You're smarter
than those Ivy League pricks,
39
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:30,108
and you came from nothing,
just complete shit.
40
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,280
Hey, now why didn't I get
invited to the graduation?
41
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:36,865
Oh, no parents were invited, Dad.
42
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:38,908
Did your mother go?
43
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:40,326
No.
44
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,703
She fuckin' went!
45
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:43,246
-What the fuck, Ben?
-No...
46
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:46,791
I didn't invite her, all right? She just
had a layover from her flight to Antigua
47
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,502
with the Cirque du Soleil guy,
and they just showed up.
48
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:53,381
Mr. O'Malley, I love that you still have
the patio furniture on the inside.
49
00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:56,175
Yeah, Larry, that's a good eye.
It's indoor-outdoor.
50
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:58,678
I appreciate the flexibility
it affords me.
51
00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:00,889
Speaking of that, uh,
how's the work search going?
52
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:05,894
Oh, that. That's actually not going well.
It's 'cause of my disability.
53
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,438
Being colorblind is not a disability.
54
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:12,233
I told a black joke to a black guy.
It's a disability.
55
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,402
It could certainly lead to a disability.
56
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:16,613
You know, Lawrence, I was thinking,
57
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:20,658
if everyone was colorblind,
maybe we'd all get along better.
58
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,745
Wow, that was actually...
That makes a lot of sense.
59
00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:27,081
It does? I don't even know what I said.
60
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,918
I think that was an accident.
What did you say?
61
00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,461
I... You... It was what you said.
62
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,172
-I got a surprise for you. Follow me.
-Okay.
63
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,138
[laughing]
64
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,181
Whoo!
65
00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:47,018
Oh, this is nice! [laughs]
Get in here, you pussies.
66
00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:49,062
I didn't bring a bathing suit, so...
67
00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:50,313
Problem solved.
68
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:51,439
What are you doing?
69
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:52,732
-Dad, leave 'em on.
-Oh, no.
70
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,275
This is a good one.
71
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,652
Ugh!
72
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:58,279
It's got the netting inside.
Hugs your nuts. It's nice.
73
00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,364
Cool.
74
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:00,365
What about you?
75
00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:03,576
Yeah, I don't want your beanbag
floating into me, so I'm good.
76
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,704
Dude, your whole body came flying
out of my dick at one point.
77
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,123
Now you're scared of it?
That's hysterical.
78
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,626
It ain't gonna suck you back in. Relax.
79
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:14,754
Larry, make yourself useful.
Get my little Jacuzzi jets over there.
80
00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:16,172
Let's get the party going.
81
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:19,634
So, what's the valeclitorian
doing tonight? You're going drinking?
82
00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:21,636
We're going to the Roadhouse.
83
00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:23,846
Fuck the Roadhouse! Go to the Wombat!
84
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,099
Dad, the Wombat's been closed
for ten years.
85
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:29,269
You think I give a fuck?
You don't know me very well.
86
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,731
Well, this seems really dangerous.
87
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,150
So have fun celebrating, boys.
88
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:40,071
You worked your asses off. You deserve it.
We'll just meet back here tonight.
89
00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:42,323
Actually, I think we're gonna stay
at PJ's tonight.
90
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,783
Who the fuck is PJ?
91
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,327
The Christian Science kid, Dad.
92
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,955
You used to whip batteries at him,
and tell him Christ did it.
93
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:53,084
That kid? You'd rather hang out
with a scientist than me?
94
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:55,128
Yeah, it's just easier, Dad,
95
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:56,754
we're only staying for a couple weeks.
96
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,506
You're only here a couple weeks?
97
00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:01,009
Yeah, Larry and I are off to New York.
98
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:03,094
I got that job at ISG.
I told you about this.
99
00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:06,014
You'd be proud. He got picked out of,
like, 2,000 applicants.
100
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:08,975
Well, that's great. That is great.
101
00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:12,103
New York's so fucking far.
You got a job there?
102
00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:13,855
Uh, no... Not at the moment, no.
103
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:16,024
The fuck you going for?
104
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:19,527
I don't know. I've just never been before.
It'd be something new.
105
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:24,115
Goddamn. Give him some room, dude.
Let him breathe. You're smothering him.
106
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:27,660
-Oh, shit. Is that the lady?
-Yeah, it's the lady.
107
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,287
-She owns the truck. Hide!
-What?
108
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:30,830
It's her truck.
109
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:50,266
Stop.
110
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:52,351
What's happ--
111
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:56,606
Oh!
112
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,610
[grunts]
113
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,613
[groans] Oh, my God!
114
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:09,452
-Whoa, what's up, guys?
-Hey, welcome home.
115
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:13,039
Nathan, buddy.
What's with the new look?
116
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:14,791
He's trying to join a biker gang.
117
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,417
Oh, shit. You can ride a motorcycle?
118
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,919
I'm learning.
119
00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:20,463
Aren't biker gangs super racist though?
120
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:23,716
Well, so far these guys are really nice.
No signs of that.
121
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:25,551
What's up with you, PJ?
122
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,179
I accidentally looked down my mom's shirt
the other day.
123
00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:30,098
-It happens.
-It's no big deal.
124
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:33,309
I'm pretty sure it was by accident,
but I'm not 100% sure.
125
00:06:33,392 --> 00:06:35,978
So, I'm gonna get
psychologically analyzed.
126
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:37,688
Okay.
127
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:38,898
I gotta find out.
128
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:42,902
-You trying to grow a mustache?
-No, I've grown a mustache.
129
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:45,238
I'm surprised you guys
can even recognize me.
130
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:47,406
-Who wants shots?
-Yes!
131
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:48,658
-Me, too.
-Yeah.
132
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:51,828
[Ben] Six bucks a shot?
That's fuckin' bullshit.
133
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:55,832
You know what else is bullshit?
How expensive condoms are.
134
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,876
Yeah, I can't afford to have
consistent sex right now.
135
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,795
Oh, yeah, money's the reason.
136
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:03,214
[PJ] It is, dude. 100%.
137
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:04,549
[Larry] That looks pretty good.
138
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:06,884
You know what you can do?
You can get latex gloves,
139
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:10,430
'cause they are pretty much the same price
and then you can use 'em five times.
140
00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:15,226
Wait, are you even allowed
to use condoms in Christian Science?
141
00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:18,813
Fuck, yeah, we can. Just not for sex.
142
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:20,982
Come on, guys. Let's go.
143
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:22,358
[Ben] "Come on. Let's go."
144
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,529
Hey, what... Oh, my... What...
145
00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:28,739
Ben O'Malley?
146
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,450
Meredith Parker!
147
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,618
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, holy shit!
148
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,412
Well... You were my first kiss.
149
00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:37,248
Yeah, yeah, in sixth grade.
150
00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:38,916
You would Myspace me at night
151
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,836
-and then run and hide from me at school.
-Yeah.
152
00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:43,880
We were boyfriend and girlfriend
for two months,
153
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,716
and then we kissed
and you just never talked to me again.
154
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,050
Real nice, Ben.
155
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:51,804
Come on. I was so embarrassed.
Remember you were much taller?
156
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:55,808
Wait, do you remember how that old lady
thought you were my baby brother?
157
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,102
Yes. Oh, my...
I should have kissed you then.
158
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:01,606
That would have really freaked her out.
Anyway, you look great.
159
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:06,027
Yeah, I grew up a little bit, just stopped
cutting my hair like Dora the Explorer...
160
00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:07,820
-Started wearing makeup.
-So did he.
161
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,781
He got you, dude.
162
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:13,826
Yeah. Good one, guys. I have a bad zit.
163
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:17,079
You know, I was thinking it looks
a little cakey. Is that Estée Lauder?
164
00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:19,457
CoverGirl, actually.
165
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:20,917
Okay. What shade did you use?
166
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:22,835
Light nude, I think it was.
167
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,087
Looks good on you. Yeah.
168
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,340
-Hey, do you wanna split a drink?
-Um...
169
00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:29,050
I should probably get going.
170
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,511
I have my first day of work
tomorrow at Postmates.
171
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,638
It's like the Uber of delivery.
172
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:36,516
Wow. Well, I don't know if you know this,
173
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:39,560
but we never actually, like,
officially did the breakup.
174
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,230
Which means that
we're still technically dating.
175
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,565
-No!
-Yes, I know.
176
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:46,192
I've cheated on you a lot.
177
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:47,610
-Oh, no.
-Sorry.
178
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,737
Oh, man, I've been nothing but loyal.
179
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:53,032
This is just not working.
I think we're done.
180
00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:55,493
Oh, well, it's good to have some closure.
181
00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:58,538
Well, I'll see you in, like,
another eight years?
182
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:01,123
Okay, yeah,
or you can give me your number.
183
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,416
Forty-three.
184
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,126
I'm still gonna call it.
185
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,468
Sweet meeting you.
186
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,887
Yeah. That was a lot of fun.
187
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:19,684
She just grabbed you
and started kissing you?
188
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,519
Yeah, I guess. I don't know.
189
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:25,898
Last time a random girl just grabbed me,
she was falling down the stairs.
190
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:27,692
Oh!
191
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:31,153
Dude, if that guy came over here
and tried to fight you,
192
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,114
-what would you do?
-That guy's a Marine, dude.
193
00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:37,076
I wouldn't do anything. I would
take my beating like a true American.
194
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:37,994
What would you do?
195
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,912
-I'd probably blow him first...
-Mmm, yeah.
196
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,122
...and then take my beating.
197
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,292
Hey, who would you fight?
198
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,628
-I don't know. I wouldn't fight anybody.
-Yeah.
199
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:48,879
Actually, I take that back.
200
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,423
-I'd fight PJ.
-Yeah.
201
00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:52,425
And your dad. I'd totally fight your dad.
202
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:56,137
No way, dude. Wayne would kick your ass.
203
00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:58,055
He still gets into fights to this day.
204
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:01,183
We just watched your dad
fall out of the back of a truck naked.
205
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:05,146
It looked like a premature baby bird
shooting out of the birth canal.
206
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,857
Let me put it this way.
My dad looks like a human Muppet
207
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,151
and I'm 100% sure
he could kick your dad's ass.
208
00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:13,404
Come on.
Your dad gets startled by pop-up books.
209
00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:16,032
Well, your dad
looks like a big fifth grader.
210
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,409
When he goes to the mall,
how many people ask if he's lost?
211
00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,494
Your dad listens to Susan Boyle.
212
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,496
She's actually very talented.
213
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:26,667
All right!
Here we are hanging with the boys!
214
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:30,421
Huh? Oh, God! The boys
are back in town, huh?
215
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,214
Up high! Here it is.
216
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:35,760
Kind of feels like high school again,
huh, guys, right?
217
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:38,137
Mardy, please turn on the humidifier.
218
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:42,808
You bet I can.
All right, Aiden, coming around to it.
219
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:47,396
We're gonna be breathing easy. Right?
Let's fire this baby up.
220
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,190
Yo, you better be nice
to your stepbrother,
221
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:51,067
because your dad
is leaving him everything.
222
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:52,735
Not if I drown him in his eggs.
223
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:57,782
Okay. Sorry, just gonna
swap out the water here, guys.
224
00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,950
I think we got a bit of an issue...
225
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:03,746
Aiden?
226
00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:08,542
Did you urinate in my humidifier?
227
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:11,545
I don't think so,
but I might have by mistake.
228
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:15,174
-Come on, man!
-That's disgusting, dude.
229
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:18,761
You gotta quit it with the pranks, bud.
Okay? You've got to quit it.
230
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:21,722
I can't even relax in my own home
'cause I'm always looking for something.
231
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:25,309
Would you like it
if I urinated in your water pistol, hmm?
232
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,311
And then squirted you in the face with it?
233
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:30,773
Mardy, he's eight!
He was trying to be funny!
234
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,944
[chuckles nervously] I know. So was I.
235
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,655
That's all, you know.
236
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:42,243
Aiden, you know your stepdaddy
was just trying to make a funny, too.
237
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:43,702
Whatever.
238
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,996
Dude, your dad just backed down
to an eight-year-old.
239
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,416
-You really think he'd kick Wayne's ass?
-Yes.
240
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:51,794
Dad, if you got into a fight
with Ben's dad,
241
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,462
you would totally mop the floor with him.
242
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,757
Why would I wanna fight Ben's dad?
I would never wanna do that.
243
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:57,925
I think you'd lose.
244
00:11:58,008 --> 00:12:00,094
Yeah, all right, let's, you know...
245
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:02,346
You need two hands to open a fridge.
246
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:03,806
[chuckling]
247
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,100
Well, that's not... I mean,
248
00:12:06,183 --> 00:12:09,645
it's a very strong suction
on a fridge, bud. Okay?
249
00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:14,483
And so, that's how the door stays sealed
and the food stays cold.
250
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,901
I know what a fridge does.
251
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,696
Aiden, go brush your teeth,
and Mommy will be up in a minute.
252
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:20,990
I'm sleeping with Mom tonight.
253
00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:23,909
Yeah, you should.
No, she's your mom.
254
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:27,079
[stutters] I'll take the pullout couch.
Good night, peanut.
255
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,041
Dad, tell them
about how you took out that flasher.
256
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,210
Oh, Larry, that was a long time ago.
257
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,171
What's this story? I want to hear.
258
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,631
All right, fine. Um...
259
00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:40,760
I don't know when that was.
I think that was...
260
00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:44,722
I don't know, maybe, that was when
you were in middle school, Larr, right?
261
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:48,267
You were in middle school,
and, uh, there was a communal terror
262
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:52,938
that was roaming the streets.
The Flasher of Fitzpatrick Park.
263
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:56,150
Now, this guy would hide
on Old River Road, right?
264
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:58,569
And he would jump out of the bushes
265
00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:02,865
and dingle his very,
very oversized scrotum
266
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:07,328
at any car that he thought
had a woman in it, okay?
267
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:11,499
Well, now let's just say,
he flashed the wrong Miata that day.
268
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:12,833
[Larry chuckles]
269
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,668
So, he thought you were a woman?
270
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,170
'Cause you were driving a Miata.
271
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:20,508
No. I mean, the body style of Miata
is not the most masculine,
272
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:23,969
but it's very unisex.
I think everybody can agree on that.
273
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:26,722
-So, I don't know why he got confused.
-[Krystal] Mmm.
274
00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,182
We just told you.
275
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,185
Anyway, I pulled over.
276
00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:35,356
I got out of my car
and I punched him straight in the nose.
277
00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:40,027
Knocked him out for the ten count.
He was never to flash again.
278
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:42,655
Boom! See? So, you would win, right?
279
00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:45,032
Well, I wasn't exactly saying that.
280
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,368
Come on, Mardy. I won't
get my feelings hurt, say it.
281
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:53,874
Well, yes, I would take him down. Hard.
282
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:57,086
Of course I'd kick his ass.
Who is his dad again?
283
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,879
Uh, Mardy. With a "D." Mardy.
284
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:03,759
-Mardy with a "D"? Okay, I'm scared.
-He lives in that white house on Maple.
285
00:14:03,842 --> 00:14:06,929
It doesn't ring a bell,
but he sounds like a pussy.
286
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:09,139
Well, both him and Larry think he'd win.
287
00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:11,976
I'm sorry?
288
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:14,186
No, don't make this a whole thing, please.
289
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:18,357
It's very interesting.
Who do you think would win in a fight?
290
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:22,027
Well, um, he's a lot bigger than you.
291
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,822
Uh, he'd be sober, which is a huge plus.
292
00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:28,409
Um, I think it'd be close,
but I think you would win.
293
00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:29,618
Close?
294
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,036
Yeah.
295
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,163
Ben, you don't think I can do anything,
do you?
296
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:35,708
What are you talking about?
I just said I think you would win.
297
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:37,793
-Well, you said it would be close.
-Yeah!
298
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,588
Have you gone mad?
Do you know how many fights I've been in?
299
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,006
I don't know, 1,000?
300
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:43,424
I've been in six.
301
00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:46,886
Seven, if you count that little dust-up
I had at the used car lot last summer.
302
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,554
Are you talking about the time
303
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,806
you got knocked out
by that inflatable dancing thing?
304
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:54,768
I didn't know what that fucking thing was,
but I stood my ground and we went at it.
305
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:55,811
Oh, my God.
306
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,939
Okay, take that away. Six solid fights.
Three and three.
307
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,232
Your record is three and three?
308
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,109
-That's good.
-All right. Good.
309
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:06,989
-Do you want me to fight him?
-No,
310
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:08,866
I do not want you
to fight my friend's dad.
311
00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:10,993
You brought it up.
This seems important to you.
312
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,037
-It's not.
-It's a non-issue to me.
313
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,539
You think it'd be close.
I'll smack this guy around.
314
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,790
-No.
-I don't have to.
315
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,627
It's fine with me either way.
I'm not gonna let it ruin my day.
316
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:23,589
Okay. Good. Don't. Don't let it ruin it.
I gotta pick up some Postmates.
317
00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:26,425
-These are for you. Enjoy the Q-tips.
-Yeah, have fun.
318
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:38,187
Mardy with a fucking "D."
How about I knock him out with a "K," huh?
319
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:42,733
Postmating for a girl. That's a new one.
320
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:44,610
It's the 21st century, man.
Get used to it.
321
00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:47,071
-[Larry] Ah.
-[upbeat music playing on car radio]
322
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:55,371
All right, good luck.
Just don't be yourself.
323
00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:00,459
PJ? You do Postmates?
324
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:04,088
Yeah. I got fired from the bait shop
for stealing worms.
325
00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:06,048
You drove past your own apartment?
326
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,425
I was following the GPS, man.
327
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,094
Hey, uh, I'm so sorry, dude,
328
00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:12,930
but I only ordered Postmates
so I can see Meredith.
329
00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:16,100
Uh, can you please return this?
I can't afford any of this, so...
330
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:17,977
No, man. I really can't do that.
331
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,229
You already purchased it when you ordered.
332
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:24,441
You could file a complaint,
but that would reflect poorly on me.
333
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:28,862
So, like, please don't do it, dude.
Just enjoy that orange chicken, bitch.
334
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:30,614
Fuck!
335
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:36,787
-Here's your pack of gum.
-Thank you.
336
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,414
Don't spoil your appetite.
337
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,297
Here you go.
338
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,803
I got it started for you.
339
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:05,107
Whoa! Meredith? Oh, my gosh!
So this is crazy. What are the odds?
340
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:06,900
Uh, one in nine.
341
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:11,155
You've used Postmates nine times today.
I saw it on the app. Hi, Larry.
342
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,199
Meredith. Hi.
343
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,702
-Wait, your name's Larry?
-Yeah.
344
00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,370
My brother's name's Larry.
345
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,539
-Let's not talk about that.
-Okay.
346
00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:25,836
Hey, so, by the way, the other night,
you gave me a couple of numbers.
347
00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:28,047
I think you left out eight or so.
348
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,923
Not that I'm aware of.
349
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:30,966
-No?
-Nah.
350
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:31,967
Well, here's an idea.
351
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,387
I'll give you my phone
and then I will call me sometime.
352
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:36,930
Okay.
353
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,015
Cool.
354
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,101
[car engine starts]
355
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,856
I need my phone!
356
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:54,323
I'm not that badass
357
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,658
-to pull something off like that.
-I know.
358
00:17:56,742 --> 00:18:00,120
Hey, seriously though,
can I please get your number?
359
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:05,834
Ben, I'm not gonna be your hometown fling.
But good luck in New York.
360
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:10,798
All right. Cool. Thank you.
I'll see you around.
361
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:24,478
Hi, this is Meredith.
So, you just gave me your phone,
362
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:27,231
trying to be all cool, which you're not.
363
00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:29,691
Guaranteed you're going to panic
and come back for it.
364
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:34,488
Oh, my God, here you are now.
What... Is that a waddle?
365
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:35,614
Oh, God.
366
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,492
Dude, are your legs different lengths?
367
00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:39,409
Oh.
368
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:41,495
It's kind of cute, I gotta admit.
369
00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:07,938
Calm down.
370
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,859
It's a non-issue.
371
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:32,754
My kid's lost all fucking faith in me!
372
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,020
Nice night.
373
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:56,695
Fuck!
374
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:01,116
[Larry] You and your gang
just beat up minorities,
375
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,453
and your gang leader says,
"There's even more down the street!"
376
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:05,913
That's not what we do.
377
00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:08,248
Three, two, one! Go, go, go!
378
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:09,875
[all] Oh!
379
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,376
-[Nathan] Ow!
-[cell phone rings]
380
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:14,671
-You're definitely getting somewhere.
-Well, somewhere.
381
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,341
-Hey.
-Benjamin, this is your father.
382
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:22,638
I got the local weather report.
There's a storm brewing on Maple Street.
383
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,431
Dad, please, no.
384
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:29,269
Oh, shit, dude.
My dad's at your dad's house.
385
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,437
Let's ride!
386
00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:35,234
-[Larry] Oh!
-[Ben] Oh, shit.
387
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:39,071
You guys go ahead. I'll pour water
down his throat until he wakes up.
388
00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:40,822
Great idea. I'll drive.
389
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:45,410
Oh. You did so good.
If only you could have seen yourself.
390
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,624
Does this look like
an eight-year-old made it?
391
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:54,378
Well, uh, I mean,
I would say a gifted eight-year-old.
392
00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:58,674
When I was eight, I was fascinated
by the reverse osmosis process.
393
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:02,344
Well, you were a freak!
How long did this take you?
394
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:08,850
Um, I mean, a little under two weeks,
you know. Probably 36 man-hours.
395
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,269
I mean, I was just trying to help.
396
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:14,064
Well, his teacher knew you did it,
and now we're those people.
397
00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:16,608
What, the people that get involved
with their children?
398
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,193
I'm proud to be one of those.
399
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:23,073
He has to redo the assignment!
You owe him an apology, Mardy.
400
00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:36,670
God... damn it, Aiden!
401
00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:37,713
[doorbell rings]
402
00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:49,391
-[Wayne] Ah.
-[Mardy] Ow.
403
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:52,853
Well, aren't you dressed
like the substitute teacher.
404
00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:56,273
I'm sorry. Can I help you?
405
00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:59,276
Yeah, I'm father... Wayne.
406
00:22:00,235 --> 00:22:02,112
Uh, from Saint Catherine's?
407
00:22:02,195 --> 00:22:04,656
No, I'm Wayne, the father.
408
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:07,367
The father?
409
00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:08,744
Ben.
410
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:12,956
-Oh, Ben's father! Yes, of course.
-Fuck.
411
00:22:13,081 --> 00:22:15,042
Nice to see you. What's doing?
412
00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:18,045
I'm here to settle this debate
our kids are having.
413
00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:19,838
What's that? What's the debate?
414
00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:22,507
About which one of us
would win in a fight.
415
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:25,010
[chuckles] Right.
416
00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:28,972
I'm sorry. You want to fight me?
417
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:32,476
Nah, I don't really,
but I feel like it's best if I did.
418
00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:35,437
I don't know if you know,
my kid fucking hates my guts!
419
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,272
I think there's been
some misunderstanding.
420
00:22:37,355 --> 00:22:38,607
I would never fight you.
421
00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:41,234
Eh, what's the big deal?
Don't be a fuckin' puss.
422
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:45,405
Fight today, friends tomorrow.
Winner buys the loser a brew.
423
00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:48,658
Dad, stop! Whatever you're about to do,
please don't.
424
00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:52,162
All hail the valit... valitorian is here.
425
00:22:52,245 --> 00:22:53,747
Mr. O'Malley, we were messing around.
426
00:22:53,830 --> 00:22:55,791
We don't really care about
you guys fighting.
427
00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:58,293
I think you do.
And we're gonna do this right now.
428
00:22:58,376 --> 00:23:00,295
You got five seconds to swing at me first.
429
00:23:00,378 --> 00:23:02,589
-No, I said I don't-- [screams]
-Five, four, three, two--
430
00:23:02,672 --> 00:23:04,800
-And the gazelle flees.
-Dad!
431
00:23:05,509 --> 00:23:06,968
[Mardy whimpering]
432
00:23:12,682 --> 00:23:14,601
-Ow!
-Whoa!
433
00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:17,104
This isn't funny anymore!
434
00:23:17,187 --> 00:23:18,480
What's your problem, guy?
435
00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:21,441
Dad, Dad, please don't do this.
You're drunk.
436
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:24,653
-You know what? You're right. Come here!
-[Mardy] You're a lunatic!
437
00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:27,489
-[Mardy] You psycho!
-I've never seen my dad move that fast.
438
00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:29,950
Aiden! Shelter in place!
439
00:23:31,409 --> 00:23:32,452
[Wayne] Come on!
440
00:23:33,578 --> 00:23:35,372
-Oh, Christ!
-Krystal, call the police!
441
00:23:38,333 --> 00:23:42,087
You gotta calm down, Mardy.
You're setting a bad example for the kids.
442
00:23:42,712 --> 00:23:44,297
[Mardy gasping]
443
00:23:46,716 --> 00:23:47,801
Oh, shit!
444
00:23:47,884 --> 00:23:49,261
[Mardy panting]
445
00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:52,264
Damn you, chicken shit!
446
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:54,808
Oh, no.
447
00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:57,352
[groans]
448
00:23:59,729 --> 00:24:00,730
[Wayne] Oh, I got you.
449
00:24:00,814 --> 00:24:02,357
Okay, okay, okay.
450
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:03,775
Dad!
451
00:24:05,652 --> 00:24:06,611
Fuck.
452
00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:09,614
Look, the police have been called.
This is private property.
453
00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:12,409
It reminds me of a story
I used to tell Benny boy.
454
00:24:12,492 --> 00:24:14,119
Green Eggs and Ham.
455
00:24:14,202 --> 00:24:20,000
I will beat you on the street,
I will beat you with my mouse dick.
456
00:24:20,083 --> 00:24:21,877
-[Ben] Dad!
-Fuck! What is it?
457
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,796
-Get down here, this is fucking insane.
-Fuck, he's coming. Here we go!
458
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,214
-Dad, stop!
-He's psycho!
459
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:28,133
[both yelling]
460
00:24:33,346 --> 00:24:35,390
[groaning]
461
00:24:38,685 --> 00:24:40,770
[Wayne] Where is that motherfucker?
462
00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:52,532
[grumbles]
463
00:24:53,783 --> 00:24:54,951
[grunting]
464
00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:01,041
Oh, hey.
465
00:25:02,042 --> 00:25:03,793
Oh, fuck, are we in jail?
466
00:25:03,877 --> 00:25:04,836
Yeah.
467
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:05,795
[sighs]
468
00:25:05,879 --> 00:25:09,925
Dad, you tried to beat up
Larry's dad last night.
469
00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:13,553
Which one's Larry's dad?
470
00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:15,513
Are you fucking serious?
471
00:25:15,597 --> 00:25:19,517
I blacked out. I'm sorry.
I have a low tolerance.
472
00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:22,896
You know, with your one phone call
last night, you called me?
473
00:25:22,979 --> 00:25:26,816
Oh, that actually makes sense,
'cause you're my emergency contact.
474
00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:30,403
Eh, come on, this ain't so bad.
475
00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:34,115
Look, we get to hang a little bit
without your friend Larry around.
476
00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:35,533
What's his angle anyway?
477
00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:39,496
Ben O'Malley, Wayne O'Malley, follow me.
478
00:25:40,121 --> 00:25:43,291
I bet my buddy Deon posted bail.
He's always coming through in a clutch.
479
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:47,671
No. I got it. I got us a bail bond.
And now I'm in debt, Dad. Thank you.
480
00:25:47,754 --> 00:25:50,632
Yeah, I wouldn't worry about that.
After a while, they stop keeping track.
481
00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:52,425
What do you say we go hit the Wombat?
482
00:25:52,509 --> 00:25:54,678
The Wombat's fucking closed, Dad!
483
00:25:59,474 --> 00:26:01,685
Get in. Shit.
484
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,318
-What was it like?
-What?
485
00:26:11,945 --> 00:26:14,948
In the clink.
Did you drop my gang's name?
486
00:26:15,031 --> 00:26:16,283
I'm not doing this, okay?
487
00:26:16,366 --> 00:26:17,951
You wanna talk, you can get in the car.
488
00:26:18,034 --> 00:26:21,037
I can't. I gotta practice!
489
00:26:21,121 --> 00:26:23,623
-[tires screech]
-[cell phone ringing]
490
00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:25,083
This is Ben.
491
00:26:25,166 --> 00:26:28,295
Dude, who answers the phone like that?
[mumbles]
492
00:26:28,378 --> 00:26:31,840
Hi, Ben. It's Ryan Jenkins
from ISG Energy Solutions.
493
00:26:31,923 --> 00:26:33,341
Hi! Hi. How are you?
494
00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:35,927
We got a Google alert this morning
about your arrest.
495
00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:38,013
We have to terminate
your employment offer.
496
00:26:38,096 --> 00:26:39,180
What?
497
00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:41,599
We have a strict conduct policy.
I hope you understand.
498
00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:43,226
I didn't do anything. It was my dad.
499
00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:44,811
-Yeah, good luck.
-Please.
500
00:26:46,980 --> 00:26:47,981
What happened?
501
00:26:48,064 --> 00:26:49,733
They fucking fired me.
502
00:26:50,358 --> 00:26:51,234
Oh, shit.
503
00:26:51,318 --> 00:26:53,486
Those fucking bastards.
504
00:26:53,570 --> 00:26:55,739
Hey, they're looking for somebody
at the bait shop
505
00:26:55,822 --> 00:26:57,240
if you know how to sell worms.
506
00:26:57,324 --> 00:26:58,616
I'm so screwed.
507
00:26:58,700 --> 00:26:59,951
-I'm fucking screwed.
-No, look.
508
00:27:00,910 --> 00:27:03,997
You're all good.
We are going to fix this.
509
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,290
[sighs]
510
00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:07,917
-[thudding]
-[groans]
511
00:27:09,544 --> 00:27:10,503
Oh.
512
00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:14,007
Let's just go. I'll come back
in a few hours. He'll still be there.
513
00:27:15,967 --> 00:27:17,177
Later, Nathan.
514
00:27:21,598 --> 00:27:23,516
You know, it was very expensive.
515
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,770
I can only imagine. I am so sorry.
516
00:27:26,853 --> 00:27:28,646
But I was getting rid of it anyway.
517
00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:29,814
Oh, that's perfect.
518
00:27:29,898 --> 00:27:31,900
Do you think you'd be willing
to drop the charges,
519
00:27:31,983 --> 00:27:34,778
since Ben kind of did the demo for you?
520
00:27:34,861 --> 00:27:37,072
I've been wanting a pool for my grandkids.
521
00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:40,784
You get me a pool, I'll drop the charges.
That's a great idea.
522
00:27:40,867 --> 00:27:43,036
I'm sorry.
I don't have that kind of money.
523
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:44,621
No, I want you to build it!
524
00:27:44,704 --> 00:27:47,707
How about a birdbath?
Ben could build you a birdbath.
525
00:27:47,791 --> 00:27:49,626
Why? I don't have any fucking birds.
526
00:27:49,709 --> 00:27:52,879
I'm sorry, but I really don't think
I'll be able to build a swimming pool.
527
00:27:52,962 --> 00:27:54,130
I don't know where to start.
528
00:27:54,214 --> 00:27:57,467
Honestly, I don't think anybody
really knows how to build a swimming pool.
529
00:27:57,550 --> 00:27:59,552
If anyone could figure it out,
it's Ben though.
530
00:27:59,636 --> 00:28:00,637
-You just shut up?
-PJ!
531
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,390
It's okay, don't worry about it.
Enjoy your summer.
532
00:28:03,473 --> 00:28:05,183
So you'll drop the charges?
533
00:28:05,266 --> 00:28:07,310
No, I don't think so.
534
00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:10,355
Okay. A pool it is.
That's what we'll do.
535
00:28:10,438 --> 00:28:12,607
Ah, my grandchildren will be thrilled!
536
00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:16,694
Eh, you just dig a fuckin' hole
and fill it with water.
537
00:28:16,778 --> 00:28:18,071
Right? Easy enough.
538
00:28:18,947 --> 00:28:22,242
It's gonna be good, dude.
I'm stoked about it.
539
00:28:24,661 --> 00:28:26,204
Can it wait a few minutes?
540
00:28:26,955 --> 00:28:28,623
What is this weird voice
you're doing, Dad?
541
00:28:28,706 --> 00:28:30,542
You sound like a guidance counselor.
542
00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:32,794
Why are you gulping?
543
00:28:34,754 --> 00:28:37,882
All right, all right.
I will see you in an hour. Bye.
544
00:28:37,966 --> 00:28:41,052
I'd help with the pool, but I don't think
our visions are the same, man.
545
00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:42,470
We'd probably butt heads.
546
00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:43,722
Don't sweat it, man.
547
00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:46,850
Fuck! It's Meredith.
What is she doing here?
548
00:28:47,767 --> 00:28:51,104
This is her dad's store.
How did you not know that?
549
00:28:51,187 --> 00:28:54,399
Oh, shit, man. I can't tell her
I got arrested and fucking fired.
550
00:28:54,482 --> 00:28:55,900
Now I'm building a pool.
551
00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:57,318
So don't tell her.
552
00:28:57,402 --> 00:28:59,779
But she'll see me
holding the shovel, Larry.
553
00:29:00,780 --> 00:29:03,700
That connects to you getting arrested?
554
00:29:03,783 --> 00:29:06,661
Connects to me
building the pool, assholes.
555
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:08,621
There's no way.
Just say you have a shovel.
556
00:29:08,705 --> 00:29:09,789
Shut up, Dynamite.
557
00:29:09,873 --> 00:29:10,957
Oh, fuck, dude.
558
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,209
I'm not a good liar.
You guys cover for me. Take it.
559
00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:14,210
-What?
-Take it!
560
00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:15,879
-Are you serious?
-What?
561
00:29:15,962 --> 00:29:17,088
Oh, come...
562
00:29:20,925 --> 00:29:23,470
-Hey, guys.
-[PJ] What? Meredith?
563
00:29:23,553 --> 00:29:26,473
-Whoa.
-Hey. So you just shoveling some shit?
564
00:29:26,556 --> 00:29:29,934
Oh, no. Just getting a head start
on digging my dad's grave.
565
00:29:30,018 --> 00:29:31,186
Oh.
566
00:29:31,269 --> 00:29:33,104
Hey, uh, how's your boyfriend Ben doing?
567
00:29:33,188 --> 00:29:36,775
Doing great. Killing it.
Yeah, he's in New York.
568
00:29:36,858 --> 00:29:41,279
Started his new job early.
Saving the planet, making good money.
569
00:29:41,905 --> 00:29:42,906
That's great.
570
00:29:42,989 --> 00:29:45,325
He just bought a Bugatti and a watch.
571
00:29:45,408 --> 00:29:49,078
It's an expensive Bugatti
and an even more expensive watch.
572
00:29:49,162 --> 00:29:50,580
He's got tons of women chasing him.
573
00:29:50,663 --> 00:29:52,791
Tons. He's engaged.
574
00:29:52,874 --> 00:29:54,292
Oh, really?
575
00:29:54,375 --> 00:29:57,253
And she's Elijah Wood's cousin.
576
00:29:57,337 --> 00:29:59,923
Yeah. So she's paying his rent.
577
00:30:00,006 --> 00:30:01,299
What the fuck are you guys--
578
00:30:04,719 --> 00:30:06,971
-Whoa!
-Holy shit.
579
00:30:08,431 --> 00:30:10,558
Uh, what's up?
580
00:30:11,267 --> 00:30:14,354
Uh, just this. Um...
581
00:30:14,437 --> 00:30:16,231
How come you're not in New York?
582
00:30:17,023 --> 00:30:17,941
Um...
583
00:30:19,108 --> 00:30:22,570
I body slammed my dad
off a roof into a greenhouse.
584
00:30:22,654 --> 00:30:25,323
And then they arrested us.
And then I lost my job.
585
00:30:25,406 --> 00:30:27,033
Did you have to go to jail?
586
00:30:27,867 --> 00:30:29,244
For a night.
587
00:30:30,537 --> 00:30:31,704
That's kind of hot.
588
00:30:31,788 --> 00:30:33,581
Yeah, isn't it?
589
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:36,501
I started selling cigarettes.
I had to stab a guy.
590
00:30:36,584 --> 00:30:38,169
Okay, don't make up shit.
591
00:30:38,253 --> 00:30:39,587
-It was hot before.
-Oh.
592
00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:41,089
Hot enough to give me your number?
593
00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:44,634
No. But hot enough to give you two more.
A five and a one.
594
00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:49,681
He'll figure that out, man.
The valedi-torian knows every combination.
595
00:30:49,764 --> 00:30:51,599
And, uh, just in case I can't,
596
00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:53,393
I'll leave my number in the comment box.
597
00:30:53,476 --> 00:30:57,188
So, look for the ones
with all the smiley faces on it.
598
00:30:57,814 --> 00:30:59,315
You don't wanna leave your number here.
599
00:30:59,399 --> 00:31:00,900
You fucked this place up, dude.
600
00:31:00,984 --> 00:31:01,860
That's a good point.
601
00:31:01,943 --> 00:31:03,444
-Yeah.
-Let's go. [grunts]
602
00:31:11,327 --> 00:31:12,579
Hello?
603
00:31:12,662 --> 00:31:15,373
[Mardy] Yeah, we're up here.
In Aiden's room.
604
00:31:15,456 --> 00:31:18,293
-Well, your... The boys' room.
605
00:31:18,376 --> 00:31:21,004
You know, the first door on the right.
606
00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:32,849
He's wearing my jersey.
607
00:31:34,434 --> 00:31:35,977
What happened to my pictures?
608
00:31:36,060 --> 00:31:39,230
Aiden doesn't like you staring at him
while he's trying to sleep.
609
00:31:39,314 --> 00:31:40,607
You gotta be shitting me.
610
00:31:40,690 --> 00:31:41,900
What does "shit" mean, Mommy?
611
00:31:41,983 --> 00:31:44,319
Oh, fuck that, man!
He knows what "shit" means.
612
00:31:44,402 --> 00:31:45,737
-Larry!
-What?
613
00:31:45,820 --> 00:31:48,156
He's probably got
30 different words for "twat."
614
00:31:48,239 --> 00:31:49,324
That one I don't know.
615
00:31:49,407 --> 00:31:52,285
That attitude is exactly why you're here.
616
00:31:52,869 --> 00:31:56,456
We're having an intervention
because we love you,
617
00:31:56,539 --> 00:32:00,126
but we're also very concerned.
Please, have a seat.
618
00:32:00,209 --> 00:32:02,503
[scoffs] Oh, this is ridiculous.
619
00:32:02,587 --> 00:32:03,963
No, it's not.
620
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:06,591
Larry, we can all see
you're off right now.
621
00:32:06,674 --> 00:32:10,470
I've been off myself, too.
After Aiden's dad got out of jail...
622
00:32:10,553 --> 00:32:11,638
He's out of jail?
623
00:32:11,721 --> 00:32:16,017
I lashed out. I made some questionable
investments with your father's money.
624
00:32:16,100 --> 00:32:19,896
It affected the whole family.
Your father got back on caffeine.
625
00:32:19,979 --> 00:32:22,982
You know what happens
when I have too much energy.
626
00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:24,734
It was hard for us.
627
00:32:24,817 --> 00:32:26,903
But I still remained loving.
628
00:32:26,986 --> 00:32:29,822
Your actions seem to be coming
from a dark place.
629
00:32:29,906 --> 00:32:30,949
This isn't my fault.
630
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:35,662
Larry, you provoked a mad man
into trying to fight me.
631
00:32:35,745 --> 00:32:36,955
No, I didn't.
632
00:32:37,497 --> 00:32:40,667
You need to start taking responsibility
for your actions, okay?
633
00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:43,836
And it's time you start thinking
about your future.
634
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,588
I will, when I get to New York.
635
00:32:45,672 --> 00:32:49,092
No, Ben is going to New York
for his career.
636
00:32:49,175 --> 00:32:53,262
No one knows why you're going.
I mean, the whole neighborhood's confused.
637
00:32:53,346 --> 00:32:54,639
You don't even have a job.
638
00:32:54,722 --> 00:32:59,602
Exactly. You're just gonna be drifting
and floating and hanging out
639
00:32:59,686 --> 00:33:02,438
with those Brooklyn crackhead hipsters.
640
00:33:02,522 --> 00:33:05,900
Who also don't have jobs, only beards.
641
00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:08,736
You need to get a life of your own.
642
00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:10,238
I don't know what I want in my life.
643
00:33:10,321 --> 00:33:13,992
I'm 22, Dad. I'm lost. Can you can give me
the weekend to figure it out?
644
00:33:14,075 --> 00:33:15,827
Maybe you could do gay porn.
645
00:33:15,910 --> 00:33:21,416
Aiden! Or maybe he could work
at the lab with you.
646
00:33:22,709 --> 00:33:27,755
Well, now, I hadn't thought of that.
What a fantastic idea, Krystal.
647
00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:31,384
Am I supposed to pretend
you guys didn't rehearse this?
648
00:33:31,467 --> 00:33:35,888
So, it's settled.
You'll work with me in the lab tomorrow.
649
00:33:35,972 --> 00:33:36,931
Then you'll stay at home
650
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:39,267
until you figure out
what to do with your life.
651
00:33:39,350 --> 00:33:40,351
Great.
652
00:33:44,564 --> 00:33:48,026
I taste piss. Aiden, do I taste piss?
653
00:33:48,109 --> 00:33:49,902
I honestly don't remember.
654
00:33:49,986 --> 00:33:51,654
Okay, it seems like you'd remember
655
00:33:51,738 --> 00:33:54,449
if you whipped your penis out
and pissed in my cup.
656
00:33:54,532 --> 00:33:56,451
Mmm, can't help you.
657
00:33:56,534 --> 00:33:59,704
You may have noticed the transit
in some of our shots...
658
00:33:59,787 --> 00:34:00,955
...laying out the pool.
659
00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:04,042
-But the coating would finish...
-Jesus! What are you talking about?
660
00:34:04,125 --> 00:34:05,877
...top of the gunite, which is the...
661
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,462
What the fuck is "gunite"?
662
00:34:07,545 --> 00:34:10,339
...relative to the foundation
of the house.
663
00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:11,841
So what we have is...
664
00:34:11,924 --> 00:34:15,219
We have what's called the weep screed,
or a mud sill.
665
00:34:15,303 --> 00:34:16,471
[sighs]
666
00:34:16,554 --> 00:34:20,475
Ben! Did you wash your hands
after you used the restroom?
667
00:34:20,558 --> 00:34:21,893
Always do.
668
00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:26,105
This once was a mermaid.
Now it looks like Jay Leno.
669
00:34:26,189 --> 00:34:28,357
I'm sorry.
I didn't see any other soap in there.
670
00:34:28,441 --> 00:34:30,068
I thought I was supposed to use that one.
671
00:34:30,151 --> 00:34:31,861
Should he ask next time?
672
00:34:31,944 --> 00:34:36,282
Yes, he should, Paisley.
Stop taking so many dumps.
673
00:34:37,116 --> 00:34:38,117
Okay.
674
00:34:44,874 --> 00:34:45,958
Where's the pool?
675
00:34:46,042 --> 00:34:49,170
Your church friend with the scumstache
said you built a pool.
676
00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:50,671
This is it.
677
00:34:51,672 --> 00:34:54,133
This is it? This grass?
678
00:34:54,884 --> 00:34:57,136
This is far from being a fucking pool.
679
00:34:57,220 --> 00:34:58,096
Are you drinking?
680
00:34:59,305 --> 00:35:01,224
Instant breakfast.
681
00:35:01,307 --> 00:35:03,559
Listen, I feel terrible
about what happened with that gig,
682
00:35:03,643 --> 00:35:05,269
you losing it. You need any help?
683
00:35:05,353 --> 00:35:07,855
If I needed to fill balloons
with bad breath, you could help.
684
00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:09,190
But I don't, so I'm good.
685
00:35:09,273 --> 00:35:12,110
Remember how deep I dug that grave
for your guinea pig?
686
00:35:12,193 --> 00:35:14,195
Made sure my snake
didn't have a second go at him.
687
00:35:15,530 --> 00:35:18,658
Well, that shit's like
Flintstone boulders down there.
688
00:35:18,741 --> 00:35:19,951
You need better equipment.
689
00:35:20,034 --> 00:35:22,537
Yeah? You gonna give me the $800 I need?
690
00:35:23,830 --> 00:35:28,042
I might... win up to 50 grand.
691
00:35:29,043 --> 00:35:31,754
Oh, here we go. Cross your fingers.
692
00:35:32,421 --> 00:35:36,926
Oh, fuck! One away from a Diet Dr. Pepper.
That's how they get you.
693
00:35:37,009 --> 00:35:39,428
You know what, Dad?
You can't fucking help me. All right?
694
00:35:39,512 --> 00:35:41,472
So you go do your thing. I'll be fine.
695
00:35:47,937 --> 00:35:49,105
Goddamn!
696
00:35:50,189 --> 00:35:53,401
I can't believe
making nipples soft is a job.
697
00:35:53,484 --> 00:35:57,989
Ah. Yeah, well, the embarrassment
from inappropriate nipple reaction
698
00:35:58,072 --> 00:35:59,782
is a real problem.
699
00:35:59,866 --> 00:36:02,535
It can happen at inconvenient times.
700
00:36:02,618 --> 00:36:06,539
Like, when you meet someone and you think
they're gonna look different,
701
00:36:06,622 --> 00:36:10,418
but they're actually quite well-built.
702
00:36:14,255 --> 00:36:18,551
You know, Mardy and Krystal
are always talking about you.
703
00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:21,095
-Really?
-Yes!
704
00:36:22,388 --> 00:36:24,932
They think you are very bright, Aiden.
705
00:36:26,100 --> 00:36:27,143
I'm Larry.
706
00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:28,769
Oh.
707
00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:30,813
Oh.
708
00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:35,026
They are so proud of you, too.
They are.
709
00:36:35,109 --> 00:36:37,987
See how they have all your old pictures
up on the wall?
710
00:36:38,070 --> 00:36:40,990
That's not me.
Glad he's so happy, though.
711
00:36:41,073 --> 00:36:44,160
Never seen him smile so hard.
Thought he was a blind singer.
712
00:36:44,243 --> 00:36:45,203
[both chuckle]
713
00:36:47,914 --> 00:36:51,167
You know, to me,
legalization was a negative, man.
714
00:36:51,250 --> 00:36:54,503
Half the fun of weed is knowing
I shouldn't be doing it. Am I right, bud?
715
00:36:54,587 --> 00:36:55,963
Yeah, that's true.
716
00:36:56,047 --> 00:37:00,092
Ah, sorry. I'm fucking nervous.
What are they gonna do to us in there?
717
00:37:00,176 --> 00:37:01,636
I don't know. It can't be dangerous
718
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:03,930
'cause if it was, they'd be paying us
more than $40.
719
00:37:04,013 --> 00:37:06,015
Hey, 40's nothing to sneeze at.
720
00:37:06,098 --> 00:37:08,768
I can't remember the last time
I had 40 cash on me.
721
00:37:08,851 --> 00:37:09,727
[chuckles]
722
00:37:09,810 --> 00:37:12,313
I'm trying to help out my kid.
He's in a bit of a jam.
723
00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:15,274
Kids. Nine months of living in the mama,
724
00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:17,568
the rest of their lives,
living off their papa.
725
00:37:17,652 --> 00:37:20,321
Oh, shit, I've never heard that one!
[laughs]
726
00:37:21,030 --> 00:37:22,949
Oh, I got a knee slapper for you.
727
00:37:23,491 --> 00:37:25,243
These two black guys...
728
00:37:25,326 --> 00:37:28,871
Wait a second. There's no black guys
in here, are there?
729
00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:30,665
Gentlemen, follow me please.
730
00:37:30,748 --> 00:37:34,210
I'll tell you the rest of that one later.
Time to go make some bread.
731
00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:44,178
Oh, shit. Mr. O'Malley,
what are you doing here?
732
00:37:44,262 --> 00:37:45,763
Oh, hello, Lawrence.
733
00:37:45,846 --> 00:37:48,766
I'm here to get Ben out of the jam
that you instigated.
734
00:37:48,849 --> 00:37:51,852
Ah, gentlemen, thank you so much
for coming. My name is Mardy Fischer.
735
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:52,937
Oh, my God.
736
00:37:56,774 --> 00:37:57,775
You okay?
737
00:37:58,609 --> 00:37:59,694
Uh...
738
00:38:00,778 --> 00:38:02,196
What's going on?
739
00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:04,490
Hello?
740
00:38:05,074 --> 00:38:06,075
You don't remember him?
741
00:38:06,158 --> 00:38:07,285
This guy?
742
00:38:08,452 --> 00:38:09,996
What are you? Famous?
743
00:38:10,079 --> 00:38:12,498
I... I don't... You don't?
744
00:38:12,581 --> 00:38:14,000
No, I don't. I'm sorry.
745
00:38:14,083 --> 00:38:17,837
Are you some big scientist
on the SyFy Channel or something?
746
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:19,630
So you don't recognize me at all?
747
00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:22,925
No, I don't recognize you,
or I would have told you.
748
00:38:23,009 --> 00:38:24,802
Is there a fucking problem, dickface?
749
00:38:24,885 --> 00:38:27,179
No. No problem at all.
No problem at all.
750
00:38:27,263 --> 00:38:29,765
I will, uh, be with you all
in just one moment.
751
00:38:29,849 --> 00:38:31,309
Yeah. Goddamn.
752
00:38:31,934 --> 00:38:33,060
What the hell is going on?
753
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:36,314
He blacked out. He was drunk that night.
He's not drunk now, so everything's good.
754
00:38:36,397 --> 00:38:37,398
Fuck you.
755
00:38:37,481 --> 00:38:39,233
He's a lot bigger than I remember.
756
00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:41,235
Relax! Let's just get him
in and out of here.
757
00:38:42,445 --> 00:38:43,446
Okay.
758
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:45,906
[sighs] Disgusting.
759
00:38:46,699 --> 00:38:48,701
-Did you shit yourself again?
-A little bit.
760
00:38:55,374 --> 00:38:58,419
Okay. Next person.
Now apply some more cream.
761
00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:00,796
No, Larry. A liberal amount.
762
00:39:01,547 --> 00:39:04,050
Yeah, really cover the nipple, okay?
The entire areola.
763
00:39:04,675 --> 00:39:06,469
Dad, why can't they do this themselves?
764
00:39:06,552 --> 00:39:08,554
What would be the fun in that?
765
00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:16,979
Olivia, what are you doing in line?
766
00:39:17,855 --> 00:39:21,525
Oh, uh, is there not enough cream?
767
00:39:23,694 --> 00:39:25,988
Uh... sorry.
768
00:39:28,616 --> 00:39:30,201
Let's go, lover boy.
769
00:39:31,952 --> 00:39:33,329
Go slow, I got butterflies.
770
00:39:36,248 --> 00:39:37,166
Oh.
771
00:39:40,836 --> 00:39:42,588
Oh. Boing!
772
00:39:42,671 --> 00:39:44,256
Okay, now the wind test.
773
00:39:50,179 --> 00:39:52,681
No, no.
I need you to use your mouth.
774
00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:55,351
Yeah.
775
00:39:55,434 --> 00:39:57,269
You heard him.
Get down there.
776
00:40:02,817 --> 00:40:04,485
[blowing]
777
00:40:08,447 --> 00:40:10,157
Don't fall for me.
I'll break your heart.
778
00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:12,076
Fuck you.
779
00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:16,372
Ow.
780
00:40:16,455 --> 00:40:20,668
Okay, something's happening. All right.
It's burning. Is that normal?
781
00:40:20,751 --> 00:40:22,461
Uh, are you allergic to anything?
782
00:40:22,545 --> 00:40:24,004
No. Just herpes, I think.
783
00:40:24,088 --> 00:40:25,381
What the...
784
00:40:25,464 --> 00:40:27,341
This is starting to feel like
knives in there.
785
00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:31,470
Like, it's poking. Like, it's burning.
What did you fucking do to me? Ow.
786
00:40:32,096 --> 00:40:34,306
They're fucking burning like shit!
787
00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:36,976
No one's helping!
What the fuck happened?
788
00:40:37,059 --> 00:40:39,353
Get a fire extinguisher,
you doofy piece of shit!
789
00:40:39,437 --> 00:40:43,232
I'll fucking kill you! God damn it!
Somebody do something!
790
00:40:43,315 --> 00:40:47,319
Get this shit off! Fuck!
[yelling]
791
00:40:47,403 --> 00:40:51,407
It burns! Oh, fuck! Help me, someone!
I'm on fire!
792
00:40:51,490 --> 00:40:52,867
[Wayne] That's Larry's dad?
793
00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:53,784
[Ben] Yes!
794
00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:55,077
[Wayne] I'm going to fight him.
795
00:40:55,161 --> 00:40:57,580
He gave me fucking tits, dude!
796
00:40:57,663 --> 00:40:59,081
They're not permanent, Dad.
797
00:40:59,165 --> 00:41:02,084
A tit's a tit, Ben. And I got two of them.
798
00:41:02,751 --> 00:41:05,921
On me. Part of me. Do you get it?
799
00:41:06,005 --> 00:41:09,383
For guys to fuck and squeeze and whack on.
800
00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:15,181
Don't let guys do that to you.
Here, just take some allergy medicine.
801
00:41:15,264 --> 00:41:16,557
Give me this shit.
802
00:41:17,266 --> 00:41:19,018
Just slow down. No.
803
00:41:20,811 --> 00:41:22,354
Ugh!
804
00:41:24,482 --> 00:41:28,903
They're still there! Shit.
Now I'm thinking about keeping 'em.
805
00:41:28,986 --> 00:41:30,529
I don't know what to do, Ben.
806
00:41:30,613 --> 00:41:33,324
Don't stare at me like that.
I'm still your father.
807
00:41:33,407 --> 00:41:35,576
Hey, what were you doing
at that lab anyway?
808
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:37,536
You know what I'm doing there?
809
00:41:38,954 --> 00:41:42,374
I'm trying to make some money
to buy you a jackhammer. There.
810
00:41:43,584 --> 00:41:45,878
There's your check. Here you go.
811
00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:48,464
[exhales sharply]
812
00:41:49,632 --> 00:41:51,175
Wow, uh...
813
00:41:51,258 --> 00:41:54,428
Well, okay. Thank you, thank you...
Thanks a lot.
814
00:41:54,512 --> 00:41:55,638
Yeah, sure.
815
00:41:55,721 --> 00:41:57,723
Can you give the old man a hug?
Would that kill you?
816
00:41:58,307 --> 00:41:59,350
Yeah, sure.
817
00:41:59,433 --> 00:42:03,312
Here ya go, buddy. Come here. Come here.
818
00:42:03,979 --> 00:42:06,649
What? Why are you so rigid when I hug you?
819
00:42:06,732 --> 00:42:09,109
Your boobs are pressed up against me, Dad.
It's really weird.
820
00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:11,529
-You got a boner? I'm your father.
-No. Dad!
821
00:42:11,612 --> 00:42:17,076
Okay. I gotta go. Just stay there
and don't fight Larry's dad.
822
00:42:17,451 --> 00:42:18,994
You're a fucking bore.
823
00:42:36,845 --> 00:42:37,846
[gasps] Oh, my God!
824
00:42:41,976 --> 00:42:43,352
[shushes]
825
00:42:47,231 --> 00:42:48,232
Okay.
826
00:42:53,153 --> 00:42:54,655
[cell phone chimes]
827
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:57,866
[cell phone chimes]
828
00:43:02,663 --> 00:43:03,872
Psycho.
829
00:43:14,049 --> 00:43:19,346
Why... did you fucking do this to me?
830
00:43:19,430 --> 00:43:20,431
God damn it.
831
00:43:21,181 --> 00:43:22,266
Come on!
832
00:43:24,101 --> 00:43:26,478
Oh, my God! Jesus Christ!
833
00:43:27,229 --> 00:43:28,063
[yelps]
834
00:43:32,526 --> 00:43:33,527
Fuck!
835
00:43:38,741 --> 00:43:41,452
I think you're supposed to pour
the concrete in
836
00:43:41,535 --> 00:43:42,828
before you fill it with water.
837
00:43:42,911 --> 00:43:44,705
This is impossible.
838
00:43:44,788 --> 00:43:48,459
There's fucking rocks and roots
and dead mailmen everywhere.
839
00:43:48,542 --> 00:43:51,795
Well, you need one of these.
840
00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:53,464
Wow.
841
00:43:54,340 --> 00:43:57,426
Thank you. But no, I...
I don't have the kind of money for that.
842
00:43:57,509 --> 00:43:59,136
Just buy me a drink. We'll call it even.
843
00:43:59,219 --> 00:44:01,847
I don't really have the kind of money
for that either.
844
00:44:02,556 --> 00:44:05,809
Oh, Benjamin. [sighs]
You've got to get your life together.
845
00:44:10,439 --> 00:44:12,149
So, you're here for good, huh?
846
00:44:12,232 --> 00:44:15,653
Uh, at least until I finish
my accounting degree.
847
00:44:16,362 --> 00:44:17,988
I'm gonna help my dad franchise the store.
848
00:44:18,072 --> 00:44:20,282
-Oh, wow. That's really cool.
-Yeah.
849
00:44:20,783 --> 00:44:26,622
Yeah, I'd like to help him retire
at some point. But I like it here.
850
00:44:26,705 --> 00:44:28,540
Yeah, it's funny.
I've lived here my whole life
851
00:44:28,624 --> 00:44:30,292
and I never came to this pond.
852
00:44:30,376 --> 00:44:32,670
You gotta be a tourist
in your own town sometimes.
853
00:44:32,753 --> 00:44:33,837
Yeah, right?
854
00:44:33,921 --> 00:44:36,674
I was so focused on getting good grades,
so that I could get out,
855
00:44:36,757 --> 00:44:38,050
that I never did anything fun.
856
00:44:38,842 --> 00:44:40,302
I didn't go to prom.
857
00:44:40,969 --> 00:44:43,806
You didn't go to prom? What a loser!
858
00:44:43,889 --> 00:44:46,600
No, I went, but I got too drunk.
859
00:44:47,434 --> 00:44:50,229
[giggles] I threw up in the bushes
and they wouldn't let me in.
860
00:44:50,312 --> 00:44:51,939
Oh, I totally remember that.
861
00:44:52,022 --> 00:44:53,190
Oh.
862
00:44:53,273 --> 00:44:55,734
I've done everything else
you're supposed to do in high school.
863
00:44:55,818 --> 00:44:59,530
I jumped off Fitzy's Ledge.
I went skinny-dipping at Livingston.
864
00:44:59,613 --> 00:45:02,032
Oh, I was way too shy
to go skinny-dipping.
865
00:45:02,116 --> 00:45:03,617
You've never gone skinny-dipping?
866
00:45:04,159 --> 00:45:05,327
I'm very insecure.
867
00:45:05,411 --> 00:45:09,373
I can't believe you.
That's the classic high school trope.
868
00:45:09,456 --> 00:45:11,125
-Yeah, well...
-We're going right now.
869
00:45:11,834 --> 00:45:13,627
No, come on. No.
870
00:45:13,710 --> 00:45:14,753
Get ready, buddy.
871
00:45:37,693 --> 00:45:40,237
Okay. Those are way nicer than my dad's.
872
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:41,321
Thanks.
873
00:45:41,905 --> 00:45:42,948
[exhales heavily]
874
00:45:48,704 --> 00:45:49,538
Yep.
875
00:45:52,791 --> 00:45:54,209
Go slow.
876
00:45:58,630 --> 00:46:02,259
Oh, hey, Ben. I think there's an acorn
caught in your pubes.
877
00:46:02,342 --> 00:46:03,760
Oh, shut up.
878
00:46:03,844 --> 00:46:06,388
Well, I said skinny-dipping,
not mini-dipping.
879
00:46:06,472 --> 00:46:07,681
Okay, I'm gonna cover up.
880
00:46:08,390 --> 00:46:11,351
You probably don't need the
whole box. You could just use the nozzle.
881
00:46:11,435 --> 00:46:13,687
It is so unfair that you
can make fun of my body
882
00:46:13,770 --> 00:46:15,355
and I can't make fun of yours.
883
00:46:15,439 --> 00:46:17,191
I'm just joking.
884
00:46:17,274 --> 00:46:21,111
You have a very nice-looking penis.
It's very, um, approachable.
885
00:46:21,195 --> 00:46:22,029
Approachable?
886
00:46:22,112 --> 00:46:24,865
Yeah, really, like a friendly little guy.
887
00:46:24,948 --> 00:46:27,493
Little guy? Okay. All right.
888
00:46:29,203 --> 00:46:30,621
Ooh.
889
00:46:30,704 --> 00:46:32,706
[sighs] Pretty nice in here, huh?
890
00:46:32,789 --> 00:46:36,710
Yeah. Yeah, this feels awesome.
891
00:46:39,004 --> 00:46:42,216
Hey, you wanna re-enact our first kiss?
You know, see if I got any better?
892
00:46:42,299 --> 00:46:45,886
You're not supposed to ask a girl
if you can kiss her. You just do it.
893
00:46:45,969 --> 00:46:47,429
I knew that. I knew that.
894
00:46:47,846 --> 00:46:50,015
Oh! [coughing]
895
00:46:50,098 --> 00:46:51,058
Wow!
896
00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:53,352
That was even more awkward
than sixth grade.
897
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,855
You don't like awkward? I love awkward.
898
00:46:56,939 --> 00:46:58,232
It's sexy.
899
00:46:59,191 --> 00:47:00,025
[screams]
900
00:47:00,108 --> 00:47:01,276
What?
901
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,696
Um, uh, something just touched my leg.
Something just touched my leg.
902
00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:06,615
Aw, is a little fishy bothering you?
903
00:47:07,241 --> 00:47:10,369
[screaming] Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
904
00:47:10,452 --> 00:47:12,287
What? Are you just gonna leave me?
905
00:47:12,371 --> 00:47:15,457
Uh, no. I'm just...
Over here, over here.
906
00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:17,543
-I'm getting him to come to me.
-Oh, my... Whoa!
907
00:47:17,626 --> 00:47:18,585
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
908
00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:20,754
Oh, God! Something is sucking on my leg.
909
00:47:20,837 --> 00:47:21,964
-Oh--
-Sucking on your leg?
910
00:47:22,047 --> 00:47:25,676
[screaming] God! Oh, my God!
I don't wanna die!
911
00:47:28,595 --> 00:47:29,638
[cell phone chimes]
912
00:47:36,103 --> 00:47:37,688
3:01 a.m.
913
00:47:37,771 --> 00:47:41,900
Hey, dude.
Just telling you the titties are gone.
914
00:47:41,984 --> 00:47:45,612
So all is forgiven.
Fun while it lasted.
915
00:47:45,696 --> 00:47:47,573
I took some pics.
Non-issue.
916
00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:50,784
Mardy, come on,
we have to get to Aiden's pottery class.
917
00:47:50,867 --> 00:47:54,580
Okay, yeah, I'm just checking my messages.
I'll be right there, okay?
918
00:47:55,163 --> 00:47:56,957
3:04 a.m.
919
00:47:57,040 --> 00:48:00,919
Quick update.
Titties are gone and I'm gonna kill you.
920
00:48:02,337 --> 00:48:04,715
Let's go, Mardy.
I don't want him to be the late kid.
921
00:48:04,798 --> 00:48:06,800
I know. I'm coming.
922
00:48:06,883 --> 00:48:07,884
Does he have to come?
923
00:48:08,468 --> 00:48:10,470
3:07 a.m.
924
00:48:10,554 --> 00:48:15,392
Hey, Deon, it's Friday night.
I wanna fuck with this guy real bad.
925
00:48:15,475 --> 00:48:20,397
Do you have access to any diseases?
Maybe something airborne?
926
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:24,067
Also, I sent you some tit pics.
I know you're a boob guy.
927
00:48:24,985 --> 00:48:27,613
Uh, you know what, guys? Go ahead.
928
00:48:27,696 --> 00:48:30,824
[stutters] I've developed some cramps
and a headache.
929
00:48:30,907 --> 00:48:32,534
So, I'll meet you there.
930
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:36,163
You let a tadpole get in
the way of you making out with Meredith?
931
00:48:36,246 --> 00:48:38,707
No, dude. It wasn't a fucking tadpole.
932
00:48:38,790 --> 00:48:42,753
It was like a water moccasin or like a...
I don't know, a shark or something.
933
00:48:42,836 --> 00:48:44,921
But there's no sharks in that pond.
934
00:48:45,005 --> 00:48:47,674
I guarantee you
it was a beer can or a shoe.
935
00:48:47,758 --> 00:48:50,552
Hey, Ben. Who's your little helper?
936
00:48:51,386 --> 00:48:53,305
It's me, Larry, Ms. Franklin.
937
00:48:53,388 --> 00:48:54,765
Larry?
938
00:48:54,848 --> 00:48:57,142
Yeah, from next door.
I was here the other day.
939
00:48:57,225 --> 00:48:59,895
Oh, Larry-Larry!
940
00:48:59,978 --> 00:49:03,357
Oh, my! I didn't recognize you
with your shirt off.
941
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:05,942
Oh, yeah. It's me.
942
00:49:06,026 --> 00:49:10,072
So you're grown up. Oh, boy!
943
00:49:10,155 --> 00:49:12,658
I remember when you used to be young.
944
00:49:12,741 --> 00:49:15,202
That's so funny! [laughs]
945
00:49:15,285 --> 00:49:16,370
Yeah.
946
00:49:16,453 --> 00:49:20,540
In the summer, you used to play
in the plastic kiddie pool
947
00:49:20,624 --> 00:49:22,125
in just your underpants.
948
00:49:22,209 --> 00:49:25,045
Yes, no trunks necessary.
949
00:49:25,128 --> 00:49:27,464
Indeed. And now look at you.
950
00:49:27,547 --> 00:49:29,257
Life's marching on.
951
00:49:29,341 --> 00:49:32,761
Except you are looking younger
and that's just not making any sense.
952
00:49:32,844 --> 00:49:34,388
[laughing]
953
00:49:36,431 --> 00:49:38,934
[coughing]
954
00:49:40,227 --> 00:49:44,898
Oh, that's funny.
My late husband was funny, too.
955
00:49:44,981 --> 00:49:47,901
So you're here for summer,
then it's back to school?
956
00:49:47,984 --> 00:49:50,946
Ooh, no, no. School's done.
I'm officially an adult now.
957
00:49:51,029 --> 00:49:56,368
Yeah, I see that! An adult.18, right?
958
00:49:56,451 --> 00:49:57,786
Uh, 22 actually.
959
00:49:57,869 --> 00:50:04,543
22, is it? 22.
Oh, all summer long with the shirt off.
960
00:50:04,626 --> 00:50:07,963
I can tell him to put his shirt back on,
so you can recognize him, Ms. Franklin.
961
00:50:08,046 --> 00:50:10,882
Get back to work, Ben.
And put your shirt on!
962
00:50:10,966 --> 00:50:13,301
I don't need you calling in sick
with a sunburn.
963
00:50:19,641 --> 00:50:21,017
What is he doing?
964
00:50:22,060 --> 00:50:23,687
He's been acting so weird lately.
965
00:50:23,770 --> 00:50:24,896
I'm gonna follow him.
966
00:50:24,980 --> 00:50:27,733
He's been a dick to you lately.
Just let him deal with his own shit.
967
00:50:27,816 --> 00:50:29,317
He's still my dad.
968
00:50:31,862 --> 00:50:32,738
[cell phone chimes]
969
00:50:44,958 --> 00:50:49,129
Welcome to the 18th Annual
Deerfield Wife Carrying Competition.
970
00:50:49,212 --> 00:50:52,090
Now remember,
the husband must carry the wife
971
00:50:52,174 --> 00:50:54,217
throughout the entire duration
of the course.
972
00:50:54,301 --> 00:50:56,261
-Should a fall occur...
-Wayne O'Malley?
973
00:50:57,095 --> 00:50:58,138
Oh, hey, Geoff.
974
00:50:59,556 --> 00:51:01,767
That's the guy who got fired
from the go-kart track
975
00:51:01,850 --> 00:51:03,852
for telling a Chinese joke
to a Chinese guy.
976
00:51:04,519 --> 00:51:07,105
Well, you see, I have this disability...
977
00:51:07,189 --> 00:51:10,400
You don't gotta remind us, Wayne.
We can all tell you're disabled.
978
00:51:10,484 --> 00:51:11,401
[people laughing]
979
00:51:11,485 --> 00:51:13,153
Hey, where's your wife?
980
00:51:13,820 --> 00:51:16,865
She passed away.
The funeral was this morning.
981
00:51:16,948 --> 00:51:17,949
And you're here?
982
00:51:18,033 --> 00:51:19,618
It was her dying wish.
983
00:51:19,701 --> 00:51:23,288
Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't think two guys
should be allowed to race. It's unfair.
984
00:51:23,371 --> 00:51:26,416
We're an open-minded organization
here, Geoff.
985
00:51:26,958 --> 00:51:30,837
We don't need to end up
on the news later for discrimination.
986
00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:32,172
So shut the fuck up!
987
00:51:32,255 --> 00:51:34,007
Yeah, whatev. It ain't gonna matter.
988
00:51:34,090 --> 00:51:35,550
You know what? Stick around after,
989
00:51:35,634 --> 00:51:38,345
maybe I'll let you take a picture
of my trophy and my taint. [scoffs]
990
00:51:39,971 --> 00:51:42,766
Fuck that guy. What a dick.
Let's kick his ass.
991
00:51:42,849 --> 00:51:45,811
Okay, everyone.
It's time to mount your spouse!
992
00:51:49,147 --> 00:51:50,273
Bend over.
993
00:51:50,357 --> 00:51:51,566
Why do you get to be the wife?
994
00:51:51,650 --> 00:51:53,568
Ben, I had tits a week ago.
995
00:51:53,652 --> 00:51:54,778
Yeah, okay.
996
00:51:54,861 --> 00:51:56,988
There we go, bud.
997
00:51:57,614 --> 00:51:58,532
[grunts]
998
00:51:58,615 --> 00:52:00,200
-[gun fires]
-[farts]
999
00:52:00,283 --> 00:52:03,787
-Damn it, Dad!
-That gun startled me. Just go! Go!
1000
00:52:25,934 --> 00:52:27,727
Come on, baby. We got this.
1001
00:52:28,770 --> 00:52:31,106
[yelps] Fuck! Tight squeeze.
1002
00:52:31,189 --> 00:52:32,983
-Let me get on your back!
-Yep!
1003
00:52:33,066 --> 00:52:34,776
Oh, now we're cooking with gas!
1004
00:52:34,860 --> 00:52:37,988
[man] Come on! Will you pretend to try?
1005
00:52:38,071 --> 00:52:40,073
[spectators laughing and cheering]
1006
00:52:47,414 --> 00:52:48,957
[cheers]
1007
00:52:54,921 --> 00:52:56,089
Oh, man.
1008
00:53:03,179 --> 00:53:04,097
[grunts]
1009
00:53:04,764 --> 00:53:05,807
[woman grunts]
1010
00:53:05,891 --> 00:53:07,183
Ow! You cheater!
1011
00:53:07,267 --> 00:53:09,895
I ain't letting some
trailer trash scumbag beat me.
1012
00:53:09,978 --> 00:53:11,229
You live in a trailer, too!
1013
00:53:11,313 --> 00:53:12,981
Yeah, but mine's a double-wide!
1014
00:53:13,064 --> 00:53:15,192
You know what?
Screw this, I'm taking over.
1015
00:53:20,572 --> 00:53:21,781
[panting]
1016
00:53:30,123 --> 00:53:32,751
Fuck you, Geoff! Your wife's only a nine!
1017
00:53:32,834 --> 00:53:34,336
Your wife's fucking dead!
1018
00:53:41,551 --> 00:53:42,719
[all cheering]
1019
00:53:42,802 --> 00:53:44,054
[Ben] We won!
1020
00:53:44,679 --> 00:53:48,266
You know, when I woke up this morning,
in my bathtub,
1021
00:53:48,350 --> 00:53:50,352
it felt like every other day.
1022
00:53:50,435 --> 00:53:52,562
I didn't know at the end of it
I'd be covered in glory.
1023
00:53:52,646 --> 00:53:53,813
[laughs] Yeah!
1024
00:53:53,897 --> 00:53:56,107
I gotta thank my wife for dying.
1025
00:53:56,816 --> 00:54:01,321
And giving the opportunity for me
to run this race with my boy, Benny.
1026
00:54:01,988 --> 00:54:05,617
And, Geoff, for the record,
that guy was Korean, not Chinese.
1027
00:54:05,700 --> 00:54:06,660
You're a fuckin' racist.
1028
00:54:08,828 --> 00:54:11,164
[man on TV] Okay, let's do some
jab-cross, jab-cross, go!
1029
00:54:11,247 --> 00:54:15,210
That's it! Little more power! Come on!
Good, good, good, go!
1030
00:54:15,293 --> 00:54:18,088
Good. Oh, oh! Gotta keep your hands up.
Good. Good. Go.
1031
00:54:18,171 --> 00:54:19,839
-[Mardy grunts]
-[instructor] Do it again.
1032
00:54:19,923 --> 00:54:21,257
Come on! All right.
Good, go!
1033
00:54:21,341 --> 00:54:23,260
-Do a roundhouse kick. No, no...
-[knock at door]
1034
00:54:23,343 --> 00:54:24,469
Dad, it's Larry.
1035
00:54:24,552 --> 00:54:26,137
Bring your knee up and--
1036
00:54:27,222 --> 00:54:28,348
Get in, quick.
1037
00:54:32,477 --> 00:54:35,188
-How did you find me?
-Olivia told me.
1038
00:54:35,271 --> 00:54:38,984
What? I can't believe
she would betray me like that.
1039
00:54:39,067 --> 00:54:40,360
What's going on?
1040
00:54:42,237 --> 00:54:45,573
Wayne has left me dozens
of threatening voice messages.
1041
00:54:45,657 --> 00:54:46,950
And I don't want to put Krystal
1042
00:54:47,033 --> 00:54:50,286
and poor, sweet, gorgeous little Aiden
in danger.
1043
00:54:50,370 --> 00:54:53,623
Okay, so just go kick his ass, Dad.
Like you did to that flasher.
1044
00:54:53,707 --> 00:54:55,125
I can't... I...
1045
00:54:55,208 --> 00:54:56,710
It's not the same.
1046
00:54:56,793 --> 00:54:57,961
Why?
1047
00:55:03,341 --> 00:55:05,427
I've never told anyone this, Larry.
1048
00:55:07,887 --> 00:55:08,722
[sighs]
1049
00:55:09,681 --> 00:55:12,976
When I got out of the car
to stop the flasher,
1050
00:55:14,269 --> 00:55:16,438
he shoved me to the ground,
1051
00:55:17,063 --> 00:55:20,817
and then wrapped his big thighs
around my neck,
1052
00:55:20,900 --> 00:55:24,738
and he proceeded to squeeze
until I lost consciousness.
1053
00:55:26,906 --> 00:55:30,618
And when I came to, there was a scrotum...
1054
00:55:32,370 --> 00:55:34,456
sort of draped across my nose.
1055
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:38,543
Almost sliding down into my mouth.
1056
00:55:39,627 --> 00:55:42,589
But that was just the beginning.
1057
00:55:42,672 --> 00:55:43,590
[woman screams]
1058
00:55:43,673 --> 00:55:44,716
Oh, there it is.
1059
00:55:44,799 --> 00:55:49,596
He made me drive him around so that
he could flash people from my sunroof.
1060
00:55:49,679 --> 00:55:50,764
-[woman screams]
-Sorry.
1061
00:55:50,847 --> 00:55:55,185
I became his accomplice,
his accessory to flashing.
1062
00:55:55,268 --> 00:55:58,271
I drove what felt like forever.
1063
00:55:58,354 --> 00:55:59,939
I mean, I used a tank and a half of gas.
1064
00:56:00,023 --> 00:56:00,857
[lady] What the fuck?
1065
00:56:00,940 --> 00:56:04,152
In hindsight, I guess I could have
probably driven away at that point.
1066
00:56:04,235 --> 00:56:06,780
Yeah, okay. Can't wait.
1067
00:56:08,531 --> 00:56:10,617
It was like he was trying to set
a flashing record,
1068
00:56:10,700 --> 00:56:12,035
beat his own high score.
1069
00:56:12,118 --> 00:56:14,412
Breathe. Just breathe, Mardy.
1070
00:56:14,496 --> 00:56:17,165
Probably would have gone on forever,
had it not been for Paul Bunyan.
1071
00:56:17,248 --> 00:56:18,458
Oh. Jesus!
1072
00:56:25,590 --> 00:56:29,803
That's how he got knocked out.
I've never fought anyone, Larry.
1073
00:56:29,886 --> 00:56:31,679
That's a fucked-up story.
1074
00:56:31,763 --> 00:56:33,098
Okay, don't swear around Aiden.
1075
00:56:33,181 --> 00:56:34,766
Aiden's not here, Dad.
1076
00:56:37,185 --> 00:56:38,061
Oh.
1077
00:56:39,646 --> 00:56:41,064
You could have told me the truth.
1078
00:56:42,190 --> 00:56:44,818
I'm sorry. I was embarrassed, you know.
1079
00:56:45,652 --> 00:56:49,322
What would you expect?
I'm not a Navy SEAL. I run a lab.
1080
00:56:50,281 --> 00:56:55,036
Speaking of that,
I don't wanna do the science thing, Dad.
1081
00:56:55,995 --> 00:56:57,914
I know, I can tell.
1082
00:56:58,498 --> 00:57:00,625
I just want you to find
what makes you happy.
1083
00:57:01,793 --> 00:57:03,253
I want you to know
1084
00:57:03,336 --> 00:57:06,047
that I will support you
in whatever you decide to do.
1085
00:57:07,590 --> 00:57:08,591
Thanks, Dad.
1086
00:57:08,675 --> 00:57:10,301
Yeah, yeah.
1087
00:57:12,762 --> 00:57:13,763
You all right?
1088
00:57:13,847 --> 00:57:16,474
I forgot my Lorazepam at home.
1089
00:57:16,558 --> 00:57:18,017
So just go back and get it.
1090
00:57:18,101 --> 00:57:22,814
I can't. I told Krystal and Aiden
I was at an emergency conference.
1091
00:57:22,897 --> 00:57:26,776
And my doctor's out of town.
I've left three messages. I just...
1092
00:57:27,777 --> 00:57:30,530
All right.
Well, let's go see my friend Trey.
1093
00:57:30,613 --> 00:57:33,867
He's kind of a part-time pharmacist. So...
1094
00:57:34,325 --> 00:57:36,744
-Oh, that would be fantastic.
-Yeah.
1095
00:57:44,169 --> 00:57:46,004
-[Ben chuckles]
-[Wayne grunts]
1096
00:57:46,087 --> 00:57:48,798
Sweeter than the Stanley Cup.
[chuckles softly]
1097
00:57:48,882 --> 00:57:51,468
Hey, thanks for inviting me.
This is really fun.
1098
00:57:52,302 --> 00:57:54,929
It's my absolute pleasure, Benzo.
1099
00:57:55,013 --> 00:57:57,432
Now, talk to me.
Tell me everything about your life.
1100
00:57:57,515 --> 00:58:00,018
I don't wanna hear about
fucking New York City again, all right?
1101
00:58:00,101 --> 00:58:01,728
Got any tuna on the hook?
1102
00:58:01,811 --> 00:58:04,314
-Yeah, yeah, I do right now.
-Okay. Here we go. Go on.
1103
00:58:04,397 --> 00:58:05,732
-I really like her.
-Okay.
1104
00:58:05,815 --> 00:58:07,233
I'm pulling a big move tonight.
1105
00:58:07,317 --> 00:58:11,404
She didn't get to go to her prom,
so I'm gonna sneak us both into Webster's.
1106
00:58:12,447 --> 00:58:14,949
-Oh, that's pretty suave, Benzo.
-I thought so, too.
1107
00:58:15,033 --> 00:58:17,035
-You know, there's gonna be dancing?
-Mmm-hmm.
1108
00:58:17,118 --> 00:58:18,828
Dancing gets awkward, it always does.
1109
00:58:18,912 --> 00:58:20,246
Try this.
1110
00:58:20,330 --> 00:58:22,624
You take your middle fingers
when you're slow dancin',
1111
00:58:22,707 --> 00:58:24,584
and you run 'em down
the back of her dress,
1112
00:58:24,667 --> 00:58:26,961
and you leave 'em on her back dimples.
1113
00:58:27,045 --> 00:58:30,340
Don't smash 'em around, don't squeeze 'em,
just leave 'em there.
1114
00:58:30,423 --> 00:58:31,841
She'll be yours.
1115
00:58:31,925 --> 00:58:33,843
That's the most ridiculous thing
I've ever heard.
1116
00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:36,846
Both chicks I've been with,
it's 'cause of that move.
1117
00:58:36,930 --> 00:58:38,389
You've only been with two women?
1118
00:58:38,473 --> 00:58:41,935
I've only tried twice.
I'm two for two. I'm battin' 100.
1119
00:58:42,018 --> 00:58:43,770
Don't you ever wanna have sex?
1120
00:58:43,853 --> 00:58:47,148
Fuck you, dude. Two is pretty high.
1121
00:58:47,232 --> 00:58:48,775
[Mardy] Uh...
1122
00:58:48,858 --> 00:58:50,818
-Should we try?
-Dad, Dad, don't...
1123
00:58:53,321 --> 00:58:54,906
-[Larry sighs]
-Fun apartment.
1124
00:59:02,914 --> 00:59:04,415
Larry Fischer.
1125
00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:07,293
If I champion,
you is the number one contender!
1126
00:59:07,377 --> 00:59:10,338
It's good to have you back
in the 603, my brother.
1127
00:59:10,421 --> 00:59:12,549
It is good to be back.
How you been?
1128
00:59:12,632 --> 00:59:15,802
Shh. Man, I'm good, you know, real good.
1129
00:59:15,885 --> 00:59:17,679
Just rappin', dealin',
1130
00:59:17,762 --> 00:59:20,098
doing three shifts a week
down at Bunny's Mini Mart.
1131
00:59:20,181 --> 00:59:22,517
Straight up entrepreneurin' that shit.
1132
00:59:23,101 --> 00:59:24,936
So, Larry tells me you stressin'.
1133
00:59:25,645 --> 00:59:26,813
I...
1134
00:59:27,230 --> 00:59:28,106
Just...
1135
00:59:28,690 --> 00:59:30,066
-It's okay.
-Yeah, just tell him.
1136
00:59:30,149 --> 00:59:31,818
Okay. Yeah. I'm stressing hard.
1137
00:59:31,901 --> 00:59:35,446
A lot. I normally take Lorazepam.
1138
00:59:35,530 --> 00:59:37,448
I have a prescription,
so it's completely legal.
1139
00:59:37,532 --> 00:59:40,243
Calm down, New Balance. I got you.
1140
00:59:40,326 --> 00:59:43,162
[sighs] You're a lifesaver.
I really appreciate this.
1141
00:59:43,246 --> 00:59:45,707
I'll finally get a good night's sleep,
so I thank you.
1142
00:59:45,790 --> 00:59:48,960
Sleep?
No, man, you ain't gonna be sleeping.
1143
00:59:49,043 --> 00:59:50,837
This shit, you might not even blink.
1144
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:52,630
What did I take? What's going on?
1145
00:59:52,714 --> 00:59:55,258
There's that M to the D to the M to the A
1146
00:59:55,341 --> 00:59:58,303
What? Methylenedioxymethamphetamine?
1147
00:59:58,386 --> 00:59:59,929
I don't know. That shit's Molly.
1148
01:00:00,013 --> 01:00:01,180
You son of a bitch.
1149
01:00:01,264 --> 01:00:02,473
-What the fuck!
-[Mardy] Fuck!
1150
01:00:02,557 --> 01:00:05,476
I told you to give him something
to get rid of his anxiety!
1151
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:06,644
That's what I gave him!
1152
01:00:06,728 --> 01:00:09,063
That shit will straight-up turn
your dark clouds
1153
01:00:09,147 --> 01:00:10,857
into clear skies with rainbows.
1154
01:00:10,940 --> 01:00:13,276
I feel like it's kicking in.
I feel like I'm effed-up!
1155
01:00:13,359 --> 01:00:16,029
-No way it's kicking in that fast.
-Just stop worrying.
1156
01:00:16,112 --> 01:00:17,989
I'm not gonna make you do it alone.
Give me one.
1157
01:00:18,072 --> 01:00:19,866
It's free, 'cause you're my boy.
1158
01:00:19,949 --> 01:00:21,784
What are you doing? Don't do drugs.
1159
01:00:21,868 --> 01:00:23,161
[Trey] Whoa!
1160
01:00:23,244 --> 01:00:26,414
Your pops is creatin' some
unwanted attention around the biz.
1161
01:00:26,497 --> 01:00:28,458
Why don't we chill inside
for a second, okay?
1162
01:00:28,541 --> 01:00:30,001
I'mma play you guys a track.
1163
01:00:30,084 --> 01:00:32,295
It's gonna put your entire lives
in perspective.
1164
01:00:32,378 --> 01:00:35,131
Seriously though,
we gotta keep it down, okay?
1165
01:00:35,214 --> 01:00:36,633
My mom and pops is being audited,
1166
01:00:36,716 --> 01:00:39,385
so the whole house is, like,
super tense now.
1167
01:00:39,469 --> 01:00:43,139
Let's go. Down. Why you struggling, man?
Get down there.
1168
01:00:43,222 --> 01:00:44,724
[Mardy] I don't wanna go down, Larry.
1169
01:00:44,807 --> 01:00:45,975
[Trey] Legs are lockin' up.
1170
01:00:50,396 --> 01:00:51,397
God!
1171
01:01:08,414 --> 01:01:09,582
Here we are.
1172
01:01:09,666 --> 01:01:11,834
I was gonna cover your eyes
to surprise you,
1173
01:01:11,918 --> 01:01:12,960
but you were driving.
1174
01:01:13,044 --> 01:01:14,796
Are you taking me to prom?
1175
01:01:14,879 --> 01:01:17,548
Yeah, I was gonna take
Elijah Wood's cousin,
1176
01:01:17,632 --> 01:01:19,759
but she bailed on me,
so you were my next call.
1177
01:01:19,842 --> 01:01:21,928
[chuckles] Okay. This is awesome.
1178
01:01:22,512 --> 01:01:24,180
Now, we just gotta pick up our tickets.
1179
01:01:29,352 --> 01:01:30,520
-A-ha.
-Oh.
1180
01:01:30,603 --> 01:01:31,854
One minute.
1181
01:01:31,938 --> 01:01:33,606
Okay. And...
1182
01:01:34,857 --> 01:01:35,942
they're breathing.
1183
01:01:36,025 --> 01:01:37,193
-That's good.
-Okay.
1184
01:01:41,322 --> 01:01:43,533
Remember, no means no, okay?
1185
01:01:46,327 --> 01:01:47,578
Ben O'Malley?
1186
01:01:47,662 --> 01:01:48,746
Yeah?
1187
01:01:48,830 --> 01:01:50,665
You're still dating high school girls?
1188
01:01:50,748 --> 01:01:54,335
No. Well, yes, I am.
She's about to graduate.
1189
01:01:54,419 --> 01:01:56,170
No, I know you.
1190
01:01:56,254 --> 01:01:59,090
I kicked you out of prom four years ago.
1191
01:01:59,173 --> 01:02:01,342
You just kept yelling, "Seniors rule"
1192
01:02:01,426 --> 01:02:05,805
while you were laid out in that bush
soiling yourself, stinking up the place.
1193
01:02:05,888 --> 01:02:09,809
I think the most embarrassing part
is I was yelling, "Seniors rule."
1194
01:02:09,892 --> 01:02:10,727
[chuckles]
1195
01:02:12,270 --> 01:02:13,396
So, let me get this straight.
1196
01:02:13,479 --> 01:02:16,733
You wanna take this young lady
into our prom
1197
01:02:16,816 --> 01:02:18,901
to make up for the one she ruined
four years ago?
1198
01:02:18,985 --> 01:02:20,319
Yeah.
1199
01:02:20,403 --> 01:02:22,905
Aw. That's actually kind of cute.
1200
01:02:22,989 --> 01:02:24,031
I thought so, too.
1201
01:02:24,115 --> 01:02:25,783
You know what won't be cute?
1202
01:02:25,867 --> 01:02:27,952
When I get hauled in front of a grand jury
1203
01:02:28,035 --> 01:02:30,830
for letting two disturbed 20-somethings
into an event
1204
01:02:30,913 --> 01:02:32,957
with 300 vulnerable children.
1205
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:39,380
I coach golf, soccer, tennis,
skiing, badminton, debate.
1206
01:02:39,464 --> 01:02:42,633
I took the entire school
to build a barn last summer!
1207
01:02:42,717 --> 01:02:44,594
I didn't even use a ruler.
1208
01:02:45,219 --> 01:02:48,681
I did that!
This school can't lose me, all right?
1209
01:02:48,765 --> 01:02:51,851
So I'm gonna need the two of you
to get the fuck out of here!
1210
01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:56,189
-Okay, let's go. Let's go.
-Little millennial shit!
1211
01:02:56,981 --> 01:02:57,815
God!
1212
01:02:58,316 --> 01:03:01,527
You guys goin' in there?
Can you bring me some snacks?
1213
01:03:01,611 --> 01:03:03,070
I'd love a slider.
1214
01:03:03,154 --> 01:03:04,447
[music playing faintly from prom]
1215
01:03:09,535 --> 01:03:11,245
This sucks. I'm sorry.
1216
01:03:11,913 --> 01:03:15,166
Don't worry,
I've set my expectations low for you.
1217
01:03:15,249 --> 01:03:16,876
You're actually exceeding them.
1218
01:03:17,376 --> 01:03:18,377
Nice.
1219
01:03:25,384 --> 01:03:26,552
-Ooh.
-Ooh. [chuckles softly]
1220
01:03:27,220 --> 01:03:29,347
Oh. [giggles]
1221
01:03:52,703 --> 01:03:55,289
[rapping] I'm sick of these same walls
And the same ceiling
1222
01:03:55,373 --> 01:03:57,041
I know you know the feelin'
1223
01:03:57,124 --> 01:03:58,376
Takes one to know one
1224
01:03:58,459 --> 01:04:01,128
But we's liable to beast the East
1225
01:04:01,212 --> 01:04:04,298
And then we head to the West
And he's the best
1226
01:04:04,382 --> 01:04:05,508
[exhales deeply]
1227
01:04:08,177 --> 01:04:09,637
-Oh, my God.
-[chuckles]
1228
01:04:10,471 --> 01:04:11,389
Oh, my God.
1229
01:04:11,472 --> 01:04:14,392
I mean, so good. It's so good.
1230
01:04:14,475 --> 01:04:16,769
Your lyrics and your timing...
1231
01:04:16,853 --> 01:04:19,063
That is what I've been saying!
1232
01:04:19,146 --> 01:04:22,149
That was astounding, Trey.
I've never known a boy like you before.
1233
01:04:22,233 --> 01:04:24,652
Dude, I'm a soldier.
[imitates machine gun]
1234
01:04:26,487 --> 01:04:27,864
Oh. What?
1235
01:04:29,740 --> 01:04:31,033
Trey, your laundry...
1236
01:04:31,826 --> 01:04:33,035
What?
1237
01:04:33,494 --> 01:04:36,998
It looks so freaking cute
and cozy and comfortable.
1238
01:04:39,333 --> 01:04:43,254
Do you mind if I dive in?
1239
01:04:44,213 --> 01:04:45,298
Damn right I do.
1240
01:04:45,381 --> 01:04:48,718
Oh. Oh.
1241
01:04:48,801 --> 01:04:50,636
Oh, my gosh.
1242
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:54,265
The textures. Oh, the aromas.
1243
01:04:54,348 --> 01:04:56,809
You need to get the fuck out
of my dirty clothes, right now.
1244
01:04:56,893 --> 01:04:58,394
Yeah, Dad, I'm coming in.
1245
01:04:59,437 --> 01:05:00,605
[groans]
1246
01:05:00,688 --> 01:05:03,608
Trey, take off your clothes.
We need more laundry.
1247
01:05:03,691 --> 01:05:06,110
You need to shut up.
You're gonna wake up my parents.
1248
01:05:06,694 --> 01:05:09,780
What? No! No!
1249
01:05:09,864 --> 01:05:13,242
You need to take off your clothes
because we need more laundry!
1250
01:05:13,326 --> 01:05:15,077
-That's it. Get out.
-[Mardy] No!
1251
01:05:15,161 --> 01:05:16,621
-Get the fuck out!
-No, I don't...
1252
01:05:16,704 --> 01:05:20,583
Ooh-ooh. Okay, we'll get out. But first,
1253
01:05:20,666 --> 01:05:24,128
your beard,
you need to scratch our backs with it.
1254
01:05:24,211 --> 01:05:26,047
Yo, your father is fucked up!
1255
01:05:26,130 --> 01:05:29,258
Get your beard on my back now.
1256
01:05:29,342 --> 01:05:30,843
-Shut up, be quiet.
-Please, Trey.
1257
01:05:30,927 --> 01:05:31,969
-I'm gonna kill you.
-No!
1258
01:05:32,053 --> 01:05:34,555
I can't be quiet. I can't!
1259
01:05:34,639 --> 01:05:37,642
Please, put your beard on my back!
I'm itchy!
1260
01:05:37,725 --> 01:05:39,518
-All right!
-Help me be quiet!
1261
01:05:39,602 --> 01:05:41,729
-Just roll up and lift your damn shirts.
-Okay.
1262
01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:46,108
[Mardy grunting]
1263
01:05:47,818 --> 01:05:49,820
Ugh. You guys got issues.
1264
01:05:49,904 --> 01:05:53,240
[Mr. Patterson]
Trey! I told you no friends over!
1265
01:05:53,324 --> 01:05:55,034
Do you ever listen?
1266
01:05:55,117 --> 01:05:56,202
Statue!
1267
01:05:57,954 --> 01:05:58,829
Larry?
1268
01:05:59,830 --> 01:06:02,083
Hi, Mrs. Patterson.
1269
01:06:02,166 --> 01:06:03,292
Who are you?
1270
01:06:06,253 --> 01:06:07,129
Yeah, you.
1271
01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:09,298
Oh. Ha-ha-ha. [laughs nervously]
1272
01:06:09,382 --> 01:06:12,009
I am a friend of your son's, yeah.
1273
01:06:12,093 --> 01:06:14,136
We go way, way back.
1274
01:06:14,220 --> 01:06:15,638
I'm also Larry's father.
1275
01:06:15,721 --> 01:06:22,103
Yeah, some people, they call me Mardy.
Those that don't, do not know my name.
1276
01:06:23,938 --> 01:06:26,273
Oh, yeah. Of course. How are you?
1277
01:06:26,357 --> 01:06:29,110
Really good. I'm taking the summer off
1278
01:06:29,193 --> 01:06:31,195
-to backpack through Europe.
-[Larry] What?
1279
01:06:31,278 --> 01:06:34,824
I am so glad that you're hanging out
with Larry again.
1280
01:06:34,907 --> 01:06:36,617
He is such a good influence.
1281
01:06:36,701 --> 01:06:39,912
[Trey] Yeah, no doubt. Uh, they were just
about to be on their way. So...
1282
01:06:39,996 --> 01:06:41,414
[Mrs. Patterson] Oh, okay.
1283
01:06:41,539 --> 01:06:45,501
[distorted]
Well, it was great to see you, Larry.
1284
01:06:47,336 --> 01:06:48,671
[in normal voice]
Come here.
1285
01:06:48,754 --> 01:06:52,383
-Yes.
-Oh my goodness. It's been a long time.
1286
01:06:53,342 --> 01:06:54,510
[chomping]
1287
01:06:54,593 --> 01:06:56,846
-[Mrs. Patterson] Okay.
-[both chomping]
1288
01:06:56,971 --> 01:06:58,472
[Mr. Patterson] What are you doing?
1289
01:06:58,556 --> 01:07:00,141
-Get out of here!
-Get off my mom's hair!
1290
01:07:00,224 --> 01:07:01,642
Get the clothes, Larry!
1291
01:07:01,726 --> 01:07:03,227
[Mr. Patterson] Hey, put those down!
1292
01:07:03,310 --> 01:07:05,229
-Bring those clothes back now!
-You get back!
1293
01:07:05,312 --> 01:07:06,188
[Larry laughing] Yes!
1294
01:07:06,772 --> 01:07:08,399
[dog barks in the distance]
1295
01:07:11,527 --> 01:07:12,778
[Wayne] Hey, there he is.
1296
01:07:12,862 --> 01:07:13,904
It worked!
1297
01:07:13,988 --> 01:07:16,699
That dimple thing?
That was the greatest advice.
1298
01:07:16,782 --> 01:07:18,659
[laughs] I knew it would.
1299
01:07:18,743 --> 01:07:21,245
Oh, God. Thank you so much!
1300
01:07:21,328 --> 01:07:23,664
It was perfect, it was perf...
1301
01:07:23,748 --> 01:07:27,251
She is incredible.
I was actually kind of smooth.
1302
01:07:27,334 --> 01:07:29,128
[laughs] I knew you would be.
1303
01:07:29,211 --> 01:07:31,255
See, you don't have to go
to New York to have fun.
1304
01:07:31,338 --> 01:07:33,340
Hmm. Yeah, I know.
1305
01:07:33,424 --> 01:07:34,258
[Wayne chuckles]
1306
01:07:35,301 --> 01:07:40,598
It's not just, like, New York, though.
It was the job. The great company.
1307
01:07:42,058 --> 01:07:44,393
You know, to be honest, Benny,
1308
01:07:44,477 --> 01:07:46,771
I don't really get
what that company is.
1309
01:07:46,854 --> 01:07:49,023
But I did read an article about it.
1310
01:07:49,106 --> 01:07:52,526
But I only read it once, so I didn't get
a chance to retain any of the information.
1311
01:07:52,610 --> 01:07:56,030
Well, they're basically...
They're saving the environment.
1312
01:07:56,113 --> 01:07:59,116
They have applications
that have already cut oil usage by 10%.
1313
01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:00,159
Fuck, yeah.
1314
01:08:00,242 --> 01:08:02,578
Their founder, Peter Francis,
he's a genius.
1315
01:08:02,661 --> 01:08:06,457
Yeah. If he's anything
like Peter Frampton, he's cool.
1316
01:08:06,540 --> 01:08:09,168
-Yeah, kinda.
-That guy's a fucking genius.
1317
01:08:11,337 --> 01:08:12,755
But I'm proud of you, bud.
1318
01:08:14,381 --> 01:08:17,593
Never thought an O'Malley
would do something like this.
1319
01:08:18,969 --> 01:08:20,179
Thanks a lot, Dad.
1320
01:08:21,847 --> 01:08:24,058
-Let's burn some marshmallows.
-Yeah!
1321
01:08:24,141 --> 01:08:25,684
You know how to work the stick?
1322
01:08:25,768 --> 01:08:27,144
I think I can figure it out.
1323
01:08:27,228 --> 01:08:28,062
All right.
1324
01:08:30,356 --> 01:08:34,193
[indistinct rap music playing
on TV]
1325
01:08:40,241 --> 01:08:41,492
Well, that was something.
1326
01:08:41,575 --> 01:08:44,995
Yeah. Yeah.
I feel tired, but energized. You know?
1327
01:08:45,079 --> 01:08:48,541
I wanna tell everyone.
But I don't wanna tell anyone.
1328
01:08:48,624 --> 01:08:52,461
Hey, is this a new Harry Potter movie?
I don't think I've seen this one yet.
1329
01:08:52,545 --> 01:08:54,713
No, that's Trippy Jones, Dad.
He's a rapper.
1330
01:08:55,673 --> 01:08:59,343
Oh, really? I think Trey
is way better than this guy.
1331
01:08:59,426 --> 01:09:03,139
No, come on. Let's get you home.
1332
01:09:03,222 --> 01:09:04,223
Oh, you know what?
1333
01:09:04,306 --> 01:09:07,893
I already paid for the hotel room,
1334
01:09:07,977 --> 01:09:12,064
so I might as well just, you know,
stay for an extra day or two.
1335
01:09:12,148 --> 01:09:14,233
You don't have to worry about Wayne, Dad.
1336
01:09:14,316 --> 01:09:17,069
Oh. [scoffs]
It's not that.
1337
01:09:17,153 --> 01:09:18,779
No, I just, um...
1338
01:09:18,863 --> 01:09:22,241
I pre-ordered Marley and Me
and I haven't watched it yet.
1339
01:09:22,324 --> 01:09:26,287
Okay. Well, I guess
I'll just see you later then.
1340
01:09:26,370 --> 01:09:29,248
Yeah, yeah. Uh, hit me up!
1341
01:09:29,331 --> 01:09:31,083
-Okay.
-Okay.
1342
01:09:41,677 --> 01:09:44,054
-[Ben grunts]
-[sighs]
1343
01:09:45,806 --> 01:09:49,518
You know what? A few more weeks,
maybe a month,
1344
01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:52,688
hopefully my charges will be dropped.
I'll be in New York.
1345
01:09:53,147 --> 01:09:55,357
It's gonna be good, man.
It's gonna be worth it.
1346
01:09:56,358 --> 01:10:00,196
Listen, this morning,
I enlisted in the Marines.
1347
01:10:01,197 --> 01:10:03,032
Uh, what? Are you serious?
1348
01:10:03,115 --> 01:10:05,993
I gotta do something big, man. You know?
1349
01:10:06,076 --> 01:10:07,703
Like, something different.
1350
01:10:07,786 --> 01:10:11,207
I can't stay in my comfort zone
or I'm gonna end up just like my dad.
1351
01:10:11,290 --> 01:10:14,084
The Marines, though, man?
I mean, fuck, dude.
1352
01:10:14,168 --> 01:10:15,586
I'll be okay.
1353
01:10:15,669 --> 01:10:18,172
They start shooting at you, run.
1354
01:10:18,255 --> 01:10:19,506
[chuckles]
1355
01:10:19,590 --> 01:10:21,258
I don't think that's the job.
1356
01:10:21,342 --> 01:10:22,468
I'm serious.
1357
01:10:22,551 --> 01:10:24,553
You've been a pussy your whole life.
It's worked out
1358
01:10:24,637 --> 01:10:27,181
-so stick to that. Yeah.
-Wow. Oh, okay.
1359
01:10:27,264 --> 01:10:28,766
Why don't we stick to working?
1360
01:10:28,849 --> 01:10:30,476
No, man. I got this.
1361
01:10:30,559 --> 01:10:33,062
If you're man enough to fight
for our country, I can do this.
1362
01:10:33,145 --> 01:10:34,772
Just go spend time with the fam.
1363
01:10:34,855 --> 01:10:36,732
-Oh, thank you.
-Yeah.
1364
01:10:36,815 --> 01:10:38,901
I'll go hang out with Aiden for,
like, five minutes.
1365
01:10:38,984 --> 01:10:40,361
I'll be back to help finish it.
1366
01:10:40,444 --> 01:10:41,278
All right.
1367
01:10:48,494 --> 01:10:49,453
Fuck!
1368
01:10:49,536 --> 01:10:51,789
[groans] Oh, God damn it!
1369
01:10:52,414 --> 01:10:53,249
You okay?
1370
01:10:54,291 --> 01:10:56,126
I'm fine. Go do your thing.
1371
01:10:56,794 --> 01:10:57,628
Okay.
1372
01:11:00,631 --> 01:11:02,174
[sighs] Fuck.
1373
01:11:08,138 --> 01:11:10,182
Ben, someone left the toilet seat up.
1374
01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:12,268
Was that a cover-up
for one of your dumps?
1375
01:11:12,351 --> 01:11:13,352
No.
1376
01:11:13,435 --> 01:11:16,897
You know how I know you're lying?
You left the fan on!
1377
01:11:18,357 --> 01:11:19,942
[exhales sharply]
1378
01:11:39,378 --> 01:11:43,424
Oh, hi, Larry. Your worthless friend Ben
left already.
1379
01:11:44,675 --> 01:11:46,468
I needed to talk to you
about something.
1380
01:11:46,552 --> 01:11:48,304
Ooh, I'm all ears.
1381
01:11:48,387 --> 01:11:50,639
But speak into this one,
it works a little better.
1382
01:11:51,223 --> 01:11:54,935
Uh... [clears throat]
So, Ben is struggling with the pool.
1383
01:11:55,019 --> 01:11:57,187
He really, really needs a break.
1384
01:11:57,271 --> 01:11:58,272
He's a great guy.
1385
01:11:58,355 --> 01:12:02,526
So, I was hoping maybe you'd be willing
to drop the charges a little bit sooner?
1386
01:12:02,609 --> 01:12:06,530
Drop the charges? Why would I do that?
Have you seen my backyard? It's--
1387
01:12:06,613 --> 01:12:08,157
What if we...
1388
01:12:10,534 --> 01:12:11,827
Oh!
1389
01:12:12,870 --> 01:12:15,372
Well, we can do this, Larry.
1390
01:12:15,456 --> 01:12:18,334
I hope you don't think this is just
gonna be some five-minute quick fix.
1391
01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:21,253
You're gonna have to work hard
for this one.
1392
01:12:21,337 --> 01:12:24,840
It's gonna take a lot of overtime
to bring this job to completion.
1393
01:12:24,923 --> 01:12:28,427
And I think you should know,
I'm allergic to latex.
1394
01:12:29,053 --> 01:12:31,972
Of course you are. Lambskin, too?
1395
01:12:32,639 --> 01:12:33,807
Deathly.
1396
01:12:34,725 --> 01:12:35,976
Saran wrap?
1397
01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:37,853
Oh, Larry...
1398
01:12:51,950 --> 01:12:54,244
[Ben] That's amazing. Did she say why?
1399
01:12:54,328 --> 01:12:56,663
No. She just said
she was dropping the charges.
1400
01:12:56,747 --> 01:12:58,082
-What? Out of the blue?
-Yeah.
1401
01:12:58,165 --> 01:12:59,291
The pool's not even done yet.
1402
01:12:59,375 --> 01:13:02,336
Well, she's apparently very happy
with the progress.
1403
01:13:06,006 --> 01:13:07,424
Did you fuck her for me?
1404
01:13:07,508 --> 01:13:09,301
Did I fuck her? I didn't--
1405
01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:10,636
-Yes, you did!
-No.
1406
01:13:10,719 --> 01:13:12,554
Where were you last night?
You weren't home.
1407
01:13:12,638 --> 01:13:14,390
You know, I've been hanging with my dad.
1408
01:13:14,473 --> 01:13:16,600
He's been at the Kozy-eight,
which is your fault.
1409
01:13:16,683 --> 01:13:18,936
-Oh! You rang that dirty old bell?
-No!
1410
01:13:19,019 --> 01:13:19,937
Did you?
1411
01:13:20,020 --> 01:13:21,480
-I didn't do anything.
-[Wayne] Cool.
1412
01:13:21,563 --> 01:13:23,273
Don't fuck around.
This is too important.`
1413
01:13:23,357 --> 01:13:24,441
Nothing happened, man.
1414
01:13:24,525 --> 01:13:26,151
-Did you?
-No. I didn't.
1415
01:13:26,235 --> 01:13:28,487
-Are you meaning to say yes by saying no?
-No, I--
1416
01:13:28,570 --> 01:13:30,364
Is she gonna wait while you're deployed?
1417
01:13:30,447 --> 01:13:31,949
-Nothing happened!
-To Ruth and Larry!
1418
01:13:32,032 --> 01:13:34,201
To Ruth and Larry!
1419
01:13:34,284 --> 01:13:35,619
Yeah, Ben O'Malley.
1420
01:13:35,702 --> 01:13:39,540
I just wanted to call you to tell you
that the charges against me were dropped
1421
01:13:39,623 --> 01:13:41,291
and I've been completely cleared.
1422
01:13:41,375 --> 01:13:43,001
[man on phone] Well, that's fantastic.
1423
01:13:43,085 --> 01:13:46,713
Unfortunately, we already filled
our open positions.
1424
01:13:46,797 --> 01:13:48,924
But if you'd like to resubmit
your application,
1425
01:13:49,007 --> 01:13:51,510
-we can keep you in consideration...
-Hey, Ben!
1426
01:13:51,593 --> 01:13:54,263
Larry needs you to call
that drug dealer Trey
1427
01:13:54,346 --> 01:13:57,307
and get a morning-after pill for him.
Hello.
1428
01:14:09,445 --> 01:14:11,363
[Wayne]
Hey, Mardy? Is this your room?
1429
01:14:11,447 --> 01:14:13,407
They told me you were in here.
[knocks at door]
1430
01:14:13,490 --> 01:14:15,200
I just need a minute of your time.
1431
01:14:16,243 --> 01:14:18,787
Mardy, six people were murdered here.
1432
01:14:18,871 --> 01:14:20,581
In this room alone.
1433
01:14:20,664 --> 01:14:21,790
-Hey!
-[Wayne yells]
1434
01:14:23,083 --> 01:14:24,585
[grunts]
1435
01:14:25,461 --> 01:14:27,171
Holy shit.
1436
01:14:27,921 --> 01:14:29,089
Fuck.
1437
01:14:30,716 --> 01:14:33,969
Goddamn,
I've never felt anything so strong.
1438
01:14:34,970 --> 01:14:37,514
That punch was fuckin' electric.
You're not human.
1439
01:14:37,598 --> 01:14:40,601
Yeah, it was my Taser gun.
And I will use it again if I have to.
1440
01:14:40,684 --> 01:14:44,188
I'm not here to fight.
I'm here to apologize.
1441
01:14:44,980 --> 01:14:49,902
I need your help with my son.
You work in Scientology, right?
1442
01:14:51,278 --> 01:14:54,990
No, I work in science.
If that's what you mean.
1443
01:14:55,073 --> 01:14:59,077
Yeah. Do you happen to know anyone
that works for this company named...
1444
01:15:00,329 --> 01:15:06,001
Fuck, I don't know, IGQ or something.
They sell energy bars maybe?
1445
01:15:06,376 --> 01:15:07,794
Are you talking about ISG Energy?
1446
01:15:07,878 --> 01:15:09,087
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1447
01:15:09,171 --> 01:15:12,674
I don't know. Maybe I do. Why?
1448
01:15:12,758 --> 01:15:17,679
I need you to set up a meeting with me
and Ben with some head honcho there.
1449
01:15:17,763 --> 01:15:20,933
We fucked up his life bad.
We gotta make it right.
1450
01:15:21,016 --> 01:15:23,519
"We"? You messed up his life.
1451
01:15:23,602 --> 01:15:25,479
If you weren't a chicken
we wouldn't be here.
1452
01:15:25,562 --> 01:15:29,107
-You're the one that--
-Yeah, okay. All right! I'm sorry.
1453
01:15:30,651 --> 01:15:33,904
Some people say I'm unstable and I snap.
1454
01:15:34,446 --> 01:15:36,990
Uh, that was a snap.
1455
01:15:37,824 --> 01:15:44,540
Listen, I need your help,
and please, if you do this for me...
1456
01:15:45,832 --> 01:15:48,377
God, I can't believe I'm saying this.
1457
01:15:48,460 --> 01:15:51,046
I'll let you kick my ass
in front of Larry.
1458
01:15:51,588 --> 01:15:52,506
I'll do it.
1459
01:15:52,923 --> 01:15:56,009
This is gonna be my last normal haircut
for a while.
1460
01:15:56,093 --> 01:15:58,971
They're gonna shave my whole head
once I get to boot camp.
1461
01:15:59,054 --> 01:16:01,640
Good job, Larry. We're all proud of ya.
1462
01:16:01,723 --> 01:16:03,016
Thank you.
1463
01:16:03,100 --> 01:16:04,643
So, where are they shipping you off to?
1464
01:16:04,726 --> 01:16:07,521
Going to Parris Island in South Carolina.
1465
01:16:07,604 --> 01:16:08,605
Oh...
1466
01:16:08,689 --> 01:16:11,984
Yeah, I leave, uh...
I think it's next Tuesday I'm leaving.
1467
01:16:12,067 --> 01:16:13,068
Oh.
1468
01:16:13,151 --> 01:16:15,946
So, I'm doing the whole procrastination
right now of not packing.
1469
01:16:16,780 --> 01:16:18,448
It's cool. I'm nervous, but excited.
1470
01:16:18,532 --> 01:16:20,909
Yeah, the first day
of the rest of your life.
1471
01:16:20,993 --> 01:16:23,078
Yeah. There you go.
1472
01:16:23,161 --> 01:16:25,455
Now you want me to square this off
at the back or--
1473
01:16:25,539 --> 01:16:27,082
Oh, yeah, you can just--
1474
01:16:28,083 --> 01:16:29,001
Holy shit!
1475
01:16:29,084 --> 01:16:30,794
[groans]
1476
01:16:32,087 --> 01:16:36,383
Yeah! How'd you like that, huh?
That's what you get!
1477
01:16:36,675 --> 01:16:38,885
I'm so sorry about that.
I will pay for all of this.
1478
01:16:40,053 --> 01:16:42,556
-You ready for some more? Huh?
-Oh, no.
1479
01:16:42,639 --> 01:16:43,473
Take that!
1480
01:16:43,557 --> 01:16:45,058
[Wayne yells]
1481
01:16:45,142 --> 01:16:47,269
-The fuck are you doing?
-Get over here.
1482
01:16:47,352 --> 01:16:49,730
No, no. Take it outside!
Take it outside! No, no, no!
1483
01:16:49,813 --> 01:16:51,315
Oh!
1484
01:16:53,233 --> 01:16:55,110
-No!
-Oh!
1485
01:16:55,193 --> 01:16:56,445
[Wayne grunts]
1486
01:16:56,528 --> 01:16:58,739
Ah, Mardy! Come on, too much! Too--
1487
01:17:00,407 --> 01:17:02,534
What the fuck, dude? No!
1488
01:17:08,415 --> 01:17:11,043
-Don't put all your weight on me.
-Oh, sorry. Yeah, I can do that.
1489
01:17:11,126 --> 01:17:12,628
Oh! Oh!
1490
01:17:12,711 --> 01:17:16,965
Oh, that's enough! Stop! I surrender!
1491
01:17:17,049 --> 01:17:20,052
And that's what you get
if you catch me off-guard
1492
01:17:20,135 --> 01:17:21,845
and you sucker-chase me onto my roof!
1493
01:17:23,221 --> 01:17:24,348
Holy shit.
1494
01:17:24,556 --> 01:17:26,058
Oh. [chuckles]
1495
01:17:26,141 --> 01:17:28,852
Hey, Larry. What a coincidence!
1496
01:17:28,935 --> 01:17:30,312
You just kicked his ass.
1497
01:17:31,104 --> 01:17:34,775
Oh, I guess I did, didn't I?
1498
01:17:34,858 --> 01:17:35,776
[chuckles]
1499
01:17:35,859 --> 01:17:37,611
You might wanna look in the mirror though.
1500
01:17:40,322 --> 01:17:41,948
Oh, wow.
1501
01:17:42,032 --> 01:17:44,159
No, hey. I think it looks badass.
1502
01:17:47,579 --> 01:17:48,413
All right.
1503
01:17:49,498 --> 01:17:53,293
Hey, you want to go get a six piece?
Miller Lites do it for ya?
1504
01:17:53,377 --> 01:17:55,420
-Yeah. Yeah. Let's do it.
-Yeah.
1505
01:17:55,504 --> 01:17:56,546
Come on, bud.
1506
01:17:56,630 --> 01:17:58,173
-That was awesome.
-I know, I just...
1507
01:17:58,256 --> 01:17:59,883
You came swinging and you almost hit me.
1508
01:17:59,966 --> 01:18:02,511
-Well, I guess I had it in me. You know?
-That was really cool.
1509
01:18:02,594 --> 01:18:03,845
It came out of nowhere.
1510
01:18:05,013 --> 01:18:08,058
Okay, I don't know what
your threshold is for emotional pain,
1511
01:18:08,141 --> 01:18:10,185
so I brought options.
1512
01:18:10,268 --> 01:18:13,522
We have tequila, weed, Vicodin.
1513
01:18:13,605 --> 01:18:17,734
This is either Zoloft
or it shrinks your prostate, not sure.
1514
01:18:17,818 --> 01:18:20,821
And, uh, hard candy.
It's just 'cause I know you like 'em.
1515
01:18:21,405 --> 01:18:22,906
Oh, you're the best.
1516
01:18:22,989 --> 01:18:25,742
I'm gonna take all of these
at the exact same time.
1517
01:18:25,826 --> 01:18:27,786
-Okay, maybe... This is too soon.
-Okay.
1518
01:18:27,869 --> 01:18:31,164
Ben! Oh, there you are! Hey!
1519
01:18:31,248 --> 01:18:35,252
I just got us a meeting
with the top dog at ISG!
1520
01:18:35,335 --> 01:18:36,795
What? How?
1521
01:18:36,878 --> 01:18:39,005
Don't ask! Just pack your shit.
1522
01:18:39,089 --> 01:18:40,841
We gotta go to New York right now!
1523
01:18:40,924 --> 01:18:43,677
Meredith. Always looking lovely.
I'll be outside. Let's go!
1524
01:18:43,760 --> 01:18:46,054
-Oh, my God!
-Holy shit!
1525
01:18:46,138 --> 01:18:48,473
-Ah!
-Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1526
01:18:48,557 --> 01:18:51,393
I gotta go pack! I'll text you
first thing when I get there.
1527
01:19:10,662 --> 01:19:12,497
Mr. Francis will see you now.
1528
01:19:13,123 --> 01:19:14,291
Okay, wish me luck.
1529
01:19:15,709 --> 01:19:18,044
-What are you doing?
-I'm gonna make this right for ya.
1530
01:19:18,128 --> 01:19:21,923
What? No, no. Dad, turn around.
Please turn around, Dad.
1531
01:19:22,007 --> 01:19:23,216
[Wayne] You'll thank me.
1532
01:19:25,010 --> 01:19:26,678
Welcome, welcome.
1533
01:19:26,762 --> 01:19:29,639
This is our VR meeting space.
1534
01:19:29,723 --> 01:19:35,187
Mr. Francis is in Taiwan,
but he is very excited to meet you.
1535
01:19:35,270 --> 01:19:37,272
Wait. We drove five hours
1536
01:19:37,355 --> 01:19:38,899
and the guy we're gonna meet isn't here?
1537
01:19:38,982 --> 01:19:40,233
-Hey, come on.
-That's weird.
1538
01:19:40,317 --> 01:19:43,570
-It's not weird.
-Just talk and act as you normally would.
1539
01:19:43,653 --> 01:19:48,200
And if you have any questions,
I'll be right here.
1540
01:19:48,909 --> 01:19:50,744
Yeah, why are your pants so tight?
1541
01:19:51,244 --> 01:19:55,248
They use less material,
it's better for the environment. So...
1542
01:19:55,332 --> 01:19:57,459
It's okay, Dad. Just put your headset on.
1543
01:20:01,755 --> 01:20:02,631
Here we go.
1544
01:20:04,382 --> 01:20:05,467
Oh, fuck!
1545
01:20:05,550 --> 01:20:07,177
-What's going on, Ben?
-Dad?
1546
01:20:07,260 --> 01:20:09,679
Oh, my God! Where am I?
1547
01:20:09,763 --> 01:20:11,097
-I'm a kangaroo!
-Dad, that's--
1548
01:20:11,181 --> 01:20:13,475
You're a monkey! I don't like it.
1549
01:20:13,558 --> 01:20:15,060
It's okay, Dad. It's not real.
1550
01:20:15,143 --> 01:20:16,645
It's not real?
I think you're wrong.
1551
01:20:16,728 --> 01:20:18,897
I think you're fucking wrong!
1552
01:20:20,357 --> 01:20:22,776
Watch out! Polar bear straight ahead!
1553
01:20:22,859 --> 01:20:25,237
Ben? Wayne? Peter Francis.
1554
01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:27,280
It's talking to us. It knows--
1555
01:20:27,364 --> 01:20:29,658
It's a friendly one.
He knows our names. Hi.
1556
01:20:29,741 --> 01:20:34,788
I know it's bizarre, but don't be alarmed,
this is my avatar. Please, have a seat.
1557
01:20:34,871 --> 01:20:39,584
Okay. I can do this. Non-issue.
Just chatting with a polar bear.
1558
01:20:40,377 --> 01:20:41,378
[grunts]
1559
01:20:42,128 --> 01:20:44,214
Come on, Wayne. Get it together.
1560
01:20:44,297 --> 01:20:45,465
So, what can I do for you?
1561
01:20:45,549 --> 01:20:47,509
-Well, I--
-Before I begin...
1562
01:20:48,260 --> 01:20:50,971
I recycle. I mean, I don't all the time,
1563
01:20:51,054 --> 01:20:54,516
but you're fixing all that stuff anyway,
so it probably won't matter.
1564
01:20:54,599 --> 01:20:57,978
I just wanted to say
that Ben's life was perfect.
1565
01:20:58,061 --> 01:21:02,649
He had all his ducks in a row, and--
Woah! Is that ice safe?
1566
01:21:03,692 --> 01:21:05,735
Is this normal? Is this...
Should it be like this?
1567
01:21:05,819 --> 01:21:07,612
Still fake, Dad. [chuckles]
1568
01:21:07,696 --> 01:21:10,031
Listen, he is a smart, smart kid.
1569
01:21:10,115 --> 01:21:12,325
Please don't make him do time
for my crime.
1570
01:21:12,409 --> 01:21:16,705
Mr. Francis, I have dreamed of
working for you since I was 15.
1571
01:21:16,788 --> 01:21:19,207
Your work in magnetics research,
in my opinion,
1572
01:21:19,291 --> 01:21:21,042
is gonna save the environment.
I just...
1573
01:21:21,126 --> 01:21:23,420
I really don't care what it pays.
1574
01:21:23,503 --> 01:21:25,505
I just really want to be a part
of your cause.
1575
01:21:25,589 --> 01:21:28,717
Please, polar bear.
This job is the love of his life.
1576
01:21:28,800 --> 01:21:30,135
[bird screeching]
1577
01:21:30,218 --> 01:21:31,177
What's up?
1578
01:21:32,345 --> 01:21:33,805
What the fuck? Ho!
1579
01:21:33,889 --> 01:21:36,808
Everybody, down! We got a pelican!
1580
01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:39,853
Why's he so angry?
Oh, shit, he's coming this way!
1581
01:21:39,936 --> 01:21:41,688
[screams]
1582
01:21:41,771 --> 01:21:42,606
Ah, fuck!
1583
01:21:42,689 --> 01:21:45,025
Ahhh! Leave me alone!
1584
01:21:45,108 --> 01:21:46,610
[screeching continues]
1585
01:21:46,693 --> 01:21:48,278
-Take it down a notch.
-Fuck!
1586
01:21:50,488 --> 01:21:52,365
This is unlike anything he's ever done.
1587
01:21:54,242 --> 01:21:55,201
[grunts]
1588
01:21:55,285 --> 01:21:57,078
[screams]
1589
01:21:57,162 --> 01:21:59,331
[grunting and screaming]
1590
01:21:59,414 --> 01:22:01,333
Oh, fuck! There you are.
1591
01:22:01,416 --> 01:22:02,918
I got you!
1592
01:22:03,001 --> 01:22:05,128
Stupid! Fuck with me?
1593
01:22:06,129 --> 01:22:07,547
[grunts]
1594
01:22:08,298 --> 01:22:09,925
Get him off!
1595
01:22:19,726 --> 01:22:20,602
I'm so sorry.
1596
01:22:20,685 --> 01:22:23,229
If you can give me one second,
I can go calm him down.
1597
01:22:23,313 --> 01:22:26,775
Growing up with a dad like that
and turning out halfway normal?
1598
01:22:26,858 --> 01:22:28,777
Oh, you must be extraordinary.
1599
01:22:28,860 --> 01:22:30,570
Why don't you join my research team?
1600
01:22:30,654 --> 01:22:32,656
-That would be amazing!
-[Wayne screaming]
1601
01:22:35,158 --> 01:22:36,076
[chuckles]
1602
01:22:36,159 --> 01:22:39,913
I love when people don't understand VR.
Hey, watch this.
1603
01:22:40,705 --> 01:22:41,957
What are you doing?
1604
01:22:42,040 --> 01:22:43,375
[shushes]
1605
01:22:43,458 --> 01:22:45,210
No. Come on. Please don't.
1606
01:22:45,293 --> 01:22:46,211
[screams]
1607
01:22:46,294 --> 01:22:47,504
[screams and grunts]
1608
01:22:49,255 --> 01:22:51,466
Oh, my God, that's the best.
1609
01:22:52,926 --> 01:22:53,927
[grunts]
1610
01:22:55,220 --> 01:22:58,098
Wow. Good stuff. All right, where were we?
1611
01:22:58,181 --> 01:22:59,599
What the fuck, man?
1612
01:23:00,475 --> 01:23:02,352
[yelling]
1613
01:23:03,603 --> 01:23:04,604
[grunts]
1614
01:23:04,688 --> 01:23:07,023
You don't treat people like that!
1615
01:23:08,024 --> 01:23:10,443
[Wayne grunting]
1616
01:23:10,527 --> 01:23:13,530
Alien. Alien head. Huh?
1617
01:23:13,613 --> 01:23:17,575
Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad? Hey, hey.
Come on, let's get out of here.
1618
01:23:17,659 --> 01:23:20,161
Okay. Did you get the job?
1619
01:23:20,245 --> 01:23:23,540
-Don't worry about it. Come on.
-[panting]
1620
01:23:24,791 --> 01:23:27,460
Ah, so what are you gonna do now?
1621
01:23:27,544 --> 01:23:30,046
[Ben] I don't know, I'll figure it out.
I'm valededorian.
1622
01:23:38,722 --> 01:23:40,140
[doorbell buzzes]
1623
01:23:46,604 --> 01:23:47,439
Hey.
1624
01:23:48,398 --> 01:23:49,399
Hey.
1625
01:23:49,482 --> 01:23:51,651
How did it go with Peter Francis?
1626
01:23:51,735 --> 01:23:54,821
Oh, good! He turned into an alien
and I cut his head off.
1627
01:23:56,406 --> 01:23:57,574
Okay.
1628
01:23:58,241 --> 01:24:01,578
I'm staying here. I wanna be with you.
1629
01:24:02,871 --> 01:24:03,705
[sighs]
1630
01:24:03,788 --> 01:24:07,250
Ben, I don't want to be the thing that
stops you from doing what you want to do.
1631
01:24:07,333 --> 01:24:08,793
It's just a job.
1632
01:24:09,669 --> 01:24:12,213
Plus, I've got a very approachable penis.
You said it yourself.
1633
01:24:14,632 --> 01:24:16,092
This is where I'm happy.
1634
01:24:22,974 --> 01:24:25,226
You know, you still kiss
like a sixth grader.
1635
01:24:27,896 --> 01:24:29,522
[indistinct chatter]
1636
01:24:39,532 --> 01:24:40,700
Look at that.
1637
01:24:40,784 --> 01:24:44,287
She let you get away with that?
You must be packing something.
1638
01:24:44,370 --> 01:24:46,581
She thinks the pool is a farm
and the goats are floats!
1639
01:24:46,664 --> 01:24:50,168
Uh, everyone?
Could I have your attention, please?
1640
01:24:50,251 --> 01:24:52,921
Thank you all so much for coming.
1641
01:24:53,004 --> 01:24:56,382
I just wanted to say a few words
about my son, Larry.
1642
01:24:56,466 --> 01:24:57,467
Oh, boy.
1643
01:24:57,550 --> 01:24:59,177
I am so proud of him,
1644
01:24:59,260 --> 01:25:04,057
both for the man that he's become
and the man that he's going to be.
1645
01:25:04,599 --> 01:25:08,353
I am sad to see him go,
but I could not be...
1646
01:25:08,436 --> 01:25:09,437
[PJ chuckling]
1647
01:25:11,106 --> 01:25:16,694
I couldn't be more thrilled knowing that
he's going to protect our country.
1648
01:25:16,778 --> 01:25:18,363
-Whoo!
-[all cheering]
1649
01:25:18,446 --> 01:25:19,447
Yeah, Lar-bear!
1650
01:25:19,531 --> 01:25:22,826
Oh, man. I can taste it.
I actually like it. Is that bad?
1651
01:25:23,451 --> 01:25:25,120
Aiden, please stop that.
1652
01:25:25,203 --> 01:25:27,288
Stop what? He said he likes it.
1653
01:25:27,372 --> 01:25:29,374
I'm asking you to stop. Okay?
1654
01:25:29,457 --> 01:25:30,959
You should listen to what I'm saying.
1655
01:25:31,042 --> 01:25:33,419
You'd be lucky to become
half the man that Larry is.
1656
01:25:34,671 --> 01:25:36,339
What do you know? You're a wuss.
1657
01:25:36,422 --> 01:25:38,007
Excuse me? Uh...
1658
01:25:38,716 --> 01:25:41,094
I did beat the living crap
out of Wayne here.
1659
01:25:41,177 --> 01:25:42,262
He probably let you win.
1660
01:25:43,179 --> 01:25:44,556
You need to shut the fuck up!
1661
01:25:44,639 --> 01:25:45,890
[crowd gasping]
1662
01:25:49,352 --> 01:25:50,562
Thank you, Krystal.
1663
01:25:52,981 --> 01:25:53,815
Um...
1664
01:25:54,274 --> 01:25:58,194
Aiden is right. He, uh...
He did let me win.
1665
01:25:58,820 --> 01:26:03,533
So, Wayne, why don't you and I
fight right now, for real?
1666
01:26:03,616 --> 01:26:06,828
What? Come on, Mardy.
This is a joyous occasion.
1667
01:26:06,911 --> 01:26:09,330
What, are you afraid, huh?
You afraid, Wayne?
1668
01:26:09,414 --> 01:26:11,833
-Watch your mouth, big boy.
-Oh.
1669
01:26:11,916 --> 01:26:15,336
You don't want this shit-storm. Benzo?
1670
01:26:18,673 --> 01:26:19,674
Fuck him up, Dad.
1671
01:26:19,757 --> 01:26:21,467
-Show Aiden who's boss, Dad.
-Yeah!
1672
01:26:21,551 --> 01:26:23,720
Oh, I got the fucking green light.
We're doing this!
1673
01:26:23,803 --> 01:26:24,971
Let's go.
1674
01:26:25,054 --> 01:26:26,055
[crowd cheering]
1675
01:26:30,226 --> 01:26:32,353
[both yelling]
1676
01:26:33,062 --> 01:26:35,607
[both grunting]
1677
01:26:36,316 --> 01:26:37,400
That was pathetic.
1678
01:26:37,483 --> 01:26:39,819
Yep. You wanna get a beer?
1679
01:26:39,903 --> 01:26:41,070
-Yeah, dude. Sure.
-Yeah.
1680
01:26:43,781 --> 01:26:46,743
[PJ] Hey, guys, who do you think
is gonna get married first?
1681
01:26:46,826 --> 01:26:47,785
[Larry] Definitely Ben.
1682
01:26:47,869 --> 01:26:49,579
[Meredith] This Ben? Not a chance.
1683
01:26:49,662 --> 01:26:50,830
[Ben] Okay. All right.
1684
01:26:50,914 --> 01:26:53,499
[Meredith] How could I marry you?
Your penis looks like a testicle.
1685
01:26:53,583 --> 01:26:54,667
[PJ chuckles]
1686
01:26:54,751 --> 01:26:57,962
And, Larry, dude, your dad had no right
to yell at Aiden like that.
1687
01:26:58,046 --> 01:26:59,714
He's a good boy.
1688
01:27:09,182 --> 01:27:11,309
Ruth. Ruth. Are you awake?
1689
01:27:14,520 --> 01:27:17,357
-Larry?
-I ship off tomorrow morning.
1690
01:27:17,440 --> 01:27:19,651
I was thinking maybe we could
hang out for a little bit?
1691
01:27:19,734 --> 01:27:20,944
[chuckles]
1692
01:27:21,027 --> 01:27:23,154
You make me feel so young.
1693
01:27:23,821 --> 01:27:25,031
Wig on or wig off?
1694
01:27:25,782 --> 01:27:27,033
Leave it on.
1695
01:27:27,116 --> 01:27:29,160
-I'll bang it off.
-Ooh!
1696
01:27:33,539 --> 01:27:34,749
That's three.
1697
01:33:35,318 --> 01:33:38,362
[Mardy] Get your beard on my back, now.
129811