All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S03E32.Pay.the.Man.the.24.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb_Subtítulos01.ENG

Hey Tim, Tim I got a
surprise for dinner.

The one earthly
delicacy I'll miss

when I get back to Mars.

Hot corned beef.

Tim? Tim? Tim where are you?

(exlposion)

Oh Tim?

- What?

- Where were you?

- Oh, I was doing
a little research.

- I smell smoke.

- Where? Where?

- Right here.

Tim, you were using
my cathode ray

centrifugal time breaker scope.

- Well all right,
so I did a little

snooping into history.

It's not like peeking
into the next car

at a drive-in movie.

- But that machine is not
for frivolous purposes.

- Frivolous purposes?

This is my first book,
an historical novel.

- Well that's fine,
but was it necessary

to use my time
machine for research?

- Well do you think
it's being sneaky

to write from actual experience?

- Don't you realize that
when you go back in time

one wrong move
and you can change

the destiny of people today?

- Do you mean, if I
played my cards right

300 years ago, today I
could be Richard Burton?

(audience laughs)

- Tim, your sense of humor
leaves something to be desired.

A sense of humor.

- Uncle Martin will
you please relax?

Now why don't you watch an
early movie or something?

Believe me, my only
contribution to history

was a C plus in college.

(audience laughs)

- [Radio] And we're happy
to report that there were

clear skies and balmy
breezes from one end of

the United States to the other.

From the sunny
shores of California

to the grass green
coast of New Jersey.

Yes, the entire nation was
basking in beautiful weather,

and-- (knob clicking).

- Tim, did you hear that?

- Well sure, we're
gonna have clear weather

from coast to
coast for a change.

What's the matter
has our smog made you

allergic to fresh air?

- I'm referring to
his description of
the United States.

It starts at California
and stops at New Jersey.

- Well that's ridiculous,
it goes clear to New York.

- Doesn't it?

- It used to. It's supposed to.

Where did you go with
that time machine?

- Well I was, I was just
doing a little research

on the sale of Manhattan.

You see in my novel--

- Nevermind the novel.

You were back to 1626 in
the New Netherlands, right?

- Well, yeah, you see
the Indians were selling

Manhattan to the Dutch for $24.

Actually it was 60 Guilders.

- Obviously through
something you said or did,

you prevented that sale
from ever being consummated.

Tim, New York doesn't
belong to the United States,

thanks to you.

- If we don't tell anybody,
you think they'll notice?

(audience laughs)

(spacy music)

(beeping)

(upbeat music)

- But I was so
careful Uncle Martin,

I didn't even take off my hat

because I thought,
well, some Pilgrim

might get thrown by my
contemporary haircut.

- There weren't
any Pilgrims there.

But obviously you
threw something.

A monkey wrench into history.

Well since you
apparently don't remember

what you did, we'll
have to look deeper.

- In the closet?

- Through your subconscious.

Sit down, please.

- Well, what's that for?

I feel like a Los Angeles
Ram wired for sound.

- Not just sound, Tim.
Sound and pictures.

I'm going to give you a
painless subliminal current

that will allow you
to see and hear your

forgotten experience
on the set here.

- My subconscious on television?

I hope it's closed circuit.

- Now when I give
you the signal,

concentrate on only one
thing, Manhattan island.

The year is 1626, Peter
Minuit is about to

make his trade with
the Indians, now.

(fantasy harp music)

You may open your eyes now, Tim,

and see what actually happened.

- And so, I Peter
Minuit, Director General

of the Providence
of New Netherlands

in return for these goods,
valued at 60 Guilders,

do hereby accept the
deed of this territory,

known as the island of Rock.

- And me, Chief Great Buffalo,
leader of tribe, say yes.

Me make smart bargain, huh?

- Well, to be perfectly
honest about it,

I've heard of take
me to your leader,

this is one time I think
the leader's being took.

- You mean?

- Well, 60 Guilders.

I'd just say it's a real steal.

(audidience laughs)

- Steal?

(dramatic music)

You try to steal island?

- Now chief, wait.

I think you're getting
a completely wrong idea.

(magical tune)

(television clicks)

- You see now how a little
thing can change history?

- That wasn't a little thing.

That was a big thing.

My mouth.

Listen Martin, I feel awful.

- Not as awful I'm
sure as the residents

of Manhattan will feel if this
isn't rectified immediately.

Tim, we've got to
make a fast trip.

- To New York?

- Correct.

But then it was known
as New Netherlands.

Time, 1626. Place, Peter
Minuit's meeting house.

- You mean we have to return
to the scene of my crime?

(dramatic fantasy music)

(audience laughs)

- Well, that was a fast answer.

- The machine needs adjustment.

We're five minutes late,
that means trouble.

You hide, here I'll see
what's going on in there.

- Chief, the Crown
needs this territory.

- Me no care what Crown needs.

Me trust you. You
tried to cheat me.

- What, (sputters) no chief.

- We no longer friends.

You forget my invitation
to come my teepee next moon

for barbecue frog bellies.

- Chief, chief, Great
Buffalo, Great Buffalo,

you have been misunderstood.

Chief!

- What do I do now?

We were counting
on this territory.

We even had the name
for it, New Amsterdam.

- All set Uncle Martin.

- Good, come along Tim.

No, no, no, no, no, he
might recognize you.

How would you like a
little Dutch goatee?

- How about a little
Dutch girl, instead?

(magical whirling tone)

(audience laughs)

- Good, let's go.

- Hmm, well I wouldn't say good.

But let's go.

(audience laughs)

(knocking at door)

- Come in!

- Mr. Minuit, we're
merchants just arrived

on the latest boat.

- It's the one I'll
be taking home, sure.

- Crown recalls me to Holland,

and my wife will start making
my life miserable again.

Her nose is
sensitive to flowers.

And everywhere you look, tulips!

(audience laughs)

- Well perhaps we
could be of assistance,

if it's a problem in trade.

Well business is our business.

- No, it's too late yet.

I had this territory purchased,

and some idiot
stuck his nose in.

You look familiar. Did
I ever see you before?

- I don't think so.

- Were you ever in Rotterdam?

Utrecht?

- Oh you wouldn't know him.

He's from a town far from there.

- Very far.

(audience laughs)

Very far.

(audience laughs)

- I think that the sale was set.

The land was ours.

That's the only
reason I came here,

to build colonies.

Why else would a man
be insane enough to

travel with the waves
and seasickness?

And just because some numbskull

couldn't keep his mouth shut.

We aught to post a reward.

10 Guilders for catching him.

Dead or alive!

- But that's not going to help.

- Perhaps if we spoke
to Great Buffalo.

- No! He's a stubborn man.

Well I can be just as stubborn.

I wouldn't take this
stupid island now

even if he gave it to me.

Who needs it? It's all rock.

Tell him it's terrible.

Of course, we can go west.

The Indians can have it.

- No, no, no they can't.

- Who says so? What
can you grow from rock?

Arrowheads.

- But see, that isn't the point.

- Are you sure I didn't
meet you in Utrecht?

- Nein.

- But Mr. Minuit, this is
not a useless piece of land.

It's a place that can be
the start of a great nation.

- A nation? A
nation serve people.

All you can get
here is seagulls.

- But you're not
using your imagination

and thinking ahead.

50, 100, 300 years
from now, visualize it.

A teeming metropolis that
is the commercial hub

of a vast country.

A small portion of
land with the greatest

concentration of
wealth in the world.

Providing homes and jobs
for millions of people.

- I can see it. I can see it.

- Uh, what did you
see there, hmm?

- (laughs) Uh, nothing, nothing.

If I told you, you
wouldn't believe it.

(audience laughs)

You're such a good salesman I'll

let you talk to
the great Buffalo,

but he's only got 'til sundown.

If he doesn't come
to me by then,

ready to make the
sale, forget it!

- We'll go and see the
great chief immediately.

And let's hope we succeed, for
the future of all concerned.

- You are positive, you've
never been in Rotterdam?

- Oh nein. Nein,
nein, nein, nein.

(audience laughs)

- Nein? Nein?

- Why you so stubborn?

I no sell island to
that cheater Minuit.

Now I have great dowry
here for some young brave

who going to make you his wife.

- I not marry just anybody.

- Why not? Anybody is somebody.

You no papoose no more.

Moons passing pretty fast.

- I am princess.

- Pretty soon you just
be old Indian maid.

- I wait for brave
who is handsome.

Courageous?

Strong?

(audience laughs)

- You just going to wait?

(audience laughs)

- Uncle Martin, can't
I get rid of this now?

(magical tone)

- Greetings Great Buffalo.

- Greetings.

- I do not wish to
intrude on the great chief

but I come have a short powwow.

- Not bad.

- We have powwow.
You sit. I get pipe.

(playful music)

- If you like Great Buffalo

we can speak in
your native tongue.

- You know language
of my people?

You not only know language,

you got dialect perfect.

(audience laughs)

- Well I'm a little
rusty on the vowels.

- Only man who
know ways of people

is brave of my tribe
or blood brother.

- [Martin] As a matter of
fact, I am a blood brother.

I became one about 50 years, ah,

(clears throat) moons ago.

- [Chief Buffalo] No! Oh
this sure small world.

- Thank you.

- You like?

- Yes, yes, this is just
what I've always wanted.

(audience laughs)

Uh, let's see if
maybe I don't have

a little something for you.

- Great Buffalo like you.

- Enough to listen
to some advice?

- I would be fool not to
listen, and me no fool.

- No brave in his right
scalp could think that.

No Great Buffalo, you
are a great chief.

And that's why it's my advice

that you keep your
word to Peter Minuit.

- Minuit? Him bad. Him
try cheat Great Buffalo.

- No, no. He did not
try to cheat you.

It was just a misunderstanding.

He's an honorable man.

- Well, you wise.
You say he good man.

But me not sure if he good man.

(Tim screaming)

(chaotic music)

- Little Feather
act like princess.

- Me give him beads.

Him give me this.

- You gave her that?

- Well it's just a key chain.

- Tim when she put
that around your neck,

she was proposing.

And when you gave her a gift
in return, you accepted.

- But...

- Me give you fine
buffalo skins for dowry.

- But I, I can't.

- You get all special
teepee with running creek.

- I can't accept.

- And that not all.

Best part of dowry, your
special own hunting ground,

just for you.

Oh, lucky we don't sell.

Now island belong to son-in-law.

(audience laughs)

Welcome to tribe.

- How did I get into this?

No, no, no, let me
rephrase the question.

How can I get out of it?

- Well at this moment
I'm more concerned about

this historical
ramifications of he situation

than about your
personal problems.

- The world already
has plenty of history

but there's only one me.

- For which the world
may be duly thankful.

- I'm sorry. I goofed
and I'm sorry about it.

But New York is just
one little state.

There's gonna be 49 more.

So couldn't we just
take the time machine

and go home and forget
the whole thing?

- No not at all.

The Indians will doubtless
massacre the settlers

in reprisal for your
jilting their princess,

it would be a disaster.

- Oh, What are you
going to call it

if I have to marry
Little Feather?

- An historical error, which
we can not permit to happen.

We must prevent the
wedding and consummate

the sale of Manhattan to
Minuit before sundown.

- Oh that's a great idea.

Especially the part about
preventing the wedding.

- I wonder if Little
Feather ever did

find a bridegroom.

Assuming it wasn't you.

- What do you mean?

- I mean let's take a
look into the future.

- [Tim] Who's that?"

- His name is Young Deer, he
will marry Little Feather.

He will become a great chief.

He is courageous, he
is wise in counsel.

- But why does he want
to marry Little Feather?

- He is also near-sighted.

(audience laughs)

- I guess that let's
me off the hook then.

She can't marry me,
she's gonna marry him.

- Unless of course
she is a widow.

- A, a what?

- Historically he isn't
due here for six months.

Anything could happen
in that length of time.

- Oh come on, you
got to do something.

I'm too young to die.

I haven't even been born yet.

- I hesitate to
tamper with history,

however under the circumstances
perhaps I'd better.

I'll dry to find Young Deer and
bring him back here in time.

Stall the wedding
as long as possible.

- I will. I will.
You know I will.

- Goodbye Tim.

- Eat, my future husband.

- What is it?

- I cook myself. Lizard neck.

- No scorpion's tongue?

(audience laughs)

- Oh, that my best dish!

Oh we have happy marriage.

I really get live one.

(audience laughs)

(sputtering) Greetings my
son-in-law to be, you get up.

Leave him alone.

Now we make you ready
for wedding ceremony.

- Oh it'll be a long time
before I'm ready, Chief.

- Oh no. You be
ready pretty quick.

She work very fast.

- Yeah, but is she good?

You wouldn't want me to
show up at my own wedding

with a messy paint
job, would you?

- You not worry.

She put on wedding paint
just right for ceremony.

That very important.

- It is? Um wolf,
wolf, look! Wolf!!

- Oh wolf no come
so close to camp.

Bear maybe, but no wolf.

You fix face right!

- Me already fix face.

- Then you do better if
you want to keep job.

Ahh.

- Ohh

- Oy.

(audience laughs)

I hate to tell you this, Chief,

but the bonnet is too loose.

- Me fix.

- She fix.

- (Tim screams in pain)
You're choking my forehead.

- Now fit good and tight.

- Thanks for the headache.

- You're welcome.

- Now we ready.

- No wait, Chief, wait.

Don't you think we aught'a
just wait, and see if

someone doesn't show from
my side of the family?

(drum beating)

(shaker shaking)

- Me think me
never see this day.

Wedding soon. When drums stop.

- When drums stop?

- Wedding begin.

- Would you excuse
me for a second?

Say, that's a pretty
mean beat, Hiawabe,

mind if I sit in? Thank you.

(drums beating)

- Drums stop.

Wedding ceremony to begin.

(scream)

- But I have another number.

I didn't know when
to come in. Fellas?

- Wait, oh mighty Chief,
I've brought another guest.

A mighty warrior from the north.

- Uncle Martin am
I glad to see you.

- Sorry I'm late, but
Young Deer was on a

hunting expedition and
we had to stop to kill

three mountain lions.

- You beautiful.

- Me?

(audience laughs)

- Oh you real live one.

- Me love you. Never
love anybody else.

You marry me?

Me not even want dowry.

- Oh this my day.

But I can't marry you if--

- Ooh, no ifs about it. Come
on boys, let's start the drums.

I'm sure that you and
Young Deer will have

many years of happiness,
not to mention Tim.

Now, we can also take
care of one other matter

before sundown.

- Stop.

Tribal law say when two
braves want same princess,

must do battle.

Now wedding more fun,
we have big fight

to see who win hand
of Little Feather.

- I take either one.

- Oh, you're a doll.

Well this is just great.
If he wins, I get killed.

If I win, I get her.
Either way, I lose.

Remember the old adage Tim,

"Where there's
light, there's hope."

Hope? Do you know
what the odds are

against me, against him?

Roughly 9.827,421.

- Well let's face it, I
can't handle him alone.

- I know, but that's
going to be a problem.

Minuit is leaving at sundown,

which will be in 15 minutes.

- Fight, begin.

(perilous music)

(Tim screams)

- H'ya.

Now look I'm getting angry.

I don't want to have
to unleash my strength.

(mystical wavering tone)

I wish I knew how I did that.

- You get wedding paint.

We fix son-in-law again.

(suspenseful music)

- Mar, Mar, Mar, Martin!

(mystical wavering music)

- Battle of mighty
warriors over.

Both equal. Nobody win.

That must mean I'm still alive.

- Yeah, and that may
be only temporary.

- Tribal law say Little
Feather have only one husband.

Still do not know
which warrior get her,

or which one get burned in fire.

- Maybe the great warrior spirit

can influence the decision.

- Yeah. Huh? Who?

- The great warrior spirit. Me.

- Aw now, come on Uncle Martin,
you can't leave me alone.

I'm out of the frying pan,
but I'm still over the fire.

- [Martin Voiceover] Oh
hear me mighty chief.

Great Buffalo, hear me and obey.

- Who speak? Who say
Great Buffalo's name?

- [Martin Voiceover] It is
I, great warrior spirit,

giver of wisdom,
speaker of truth.

- You great warrior spirit?

You supposed to talk on wind.

How come you make
personal appearance?

- [Martin Voiceover] Too
important decision for

mortal Indian to
make without help.

I, great warrior spirit,

command Little Feather
marry Young Deer.

- I thank you great spirit.

- [Martin Voiceover] Now
you release courageous

young man who fight so bravely.

- Oh, thank you Uncle,
um, ah, great spirit.

- It shall be done.

- [Martin Voiceover]
One more thing.

You go to Minuit's
house right now,

fast, before sundown.

Sell him island of rock.

- Me knew it. No.

Him cheat. No!

(explosion)

- Does Chief Great Buffalo
defy great warrior spirit?

- No, don't stand
there, give me dowry.

- I Peter Minuit,
Director General,

do hereby accept this deed

of the territory known
as the island of rock.

- Well I guess
congratulations are in order.

It's finally been sold.

- Yeah, congratulations
to you too chief,

you finally got
your 60 Guilders.

And I finally got me.

And congratulations
to you too Mr. Minuit.

You got yourself a real steal.

- Thank you.

I almost didn't because of, you!

- Tim, the time machine!

(exciting music)

(gun shot)

- (coughs) Well the next time

I take a trip I think I'll
check with my travel agent.

- Ah, there we agree.

- Yeah the next
time I write a novel

I can tell you one thing.

It is not going
to be historical.

- Well I don't like to
discourage creativity,

but there we agree again.

- No, I'm through with history.

As a matter of fact,
the next novel I write,

I think I'll write
about the future.

Yeah, why not?

Uncle Martin, if I could just...

Well, like they say,

what's wrong with the present?

(audience laughs)

(upbeat music)