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1
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- Previously on "You Me Her"...
- Oh!
2
00:00:02,663 --> 00:00:04,692
Be fun to watch these
four grow up together.
3
00:00:04,698 --> 00:00:06,735
Dave and Carmen just bought
their dream house, so, you know...
4
00:00:06,764 --> 00:00:08,876
What's next? You gonna tell
us you guys can fly or something?
5
00:00:08,893 --> 00:00:10,064
What are you, mad at me?
6
00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:11,947
Because I broke the
agreement, right, the plan?
7
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,227
We're not breaking up.
8
00:00:13,256 --> 00:00:14,638
It's time to be a big girl now.
9
00:00:14,647 --> 00:00:17,146
As much as I'd like to
keep you all to myself,
10
00:00:17,180 --> 00:00:18,343
he's your forever guy.
11
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,163
I can't keep living in
service to her damage.
12
00:00:21,210 --> 00:00:23,201
I made Jack and Emma break up with you.
13
00:00:23,260 --> 00:00:25,006
It has to be over. You
did the right thing.
14
00:00:25,044 --> 00:00:27,375
If they loved me, nothing
you said would've mattered.
15
00:00:27,404 --> 00:00:29,751
Have you noticed how
many times she's told us
16
00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:32,241
she's leaving immediately
after the wedding?
17
00:00:32,453 --> 00:00:35,011
The wedding to which
we're no longer invited.
18
00:00:35,079 --> 00:00:36,981
Did I mention your mother
was coming to the wedding?
19
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,241
- I'm sorry?
- No? Oops.
20
00:00:38,254 --> 00:00:40,394
No fucking way. I
mean, that can't happen.
21
00:00:40,402 --> 00:00:42,910
- No, that is a terrible idea.
- No, that is not happening.
22
00:00:42,956 --> 00:00:44,267
[CAR DOOR CLICKS OPEN]
23
00:00:44,301 --> 00:00:46,479
No fucking way.
24
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:49,125
- [CHUCKLES]
- Hey, hey!
25
00:00:49,138 --> 00:00:51,016
- Mom?
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
26
00:00:51,397 --> 00:00:53,985
[SOMBER GUITAR MUSIC]
27
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:57,355
♪ ♪
28
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,433
Fuck!
29
00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:00,885
I don't think she's super-duper happy.
30
00:01:01,008 --> 00:01:02,344
Fuck!
31
00:01:02,615 --> 00:01:04,941
Oh, my God! Captain 12
Steps and his clueless bride
32
00:01:04,949 --> 00:01:06,772
gave me half a reasonable booze budget,
33
00:01:06,789 --> 00:01:09,348
and the closest hayseed liquor
store is, like, 20 miles away.
34
00:01:09,387 --> 00:01:11,554
Shaun, booze run now!
35
00:01:12,483 --> 00:01:15,194
Did anyone else hear a shrill
animal calling from the forest,
36
00:01:15,231 --> 00:01:18,159
possibly under attack...
or constipated or both?
37
00:01:18,349 --> 00:01:21,352
Maybe a wolverine that's gutted
its mate and now regrets it?
38
00:01:21,854 --> 00:01:25,077
Oh, keep interrupting my wedding
with your feelings. I dare you.
39
00:01:25,088 --> 00:01:27,139
You want the wolverine? You got her.
40
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:28,868
Okay, that escalated.
41
00:01:30,729 --> 00:01:32,370
I'm... I'm a little stressed. Sorry.
42
00:01:32,395 --> 00:01:33,487
Yeah.
43
00:01:39,825 --> 00:01:40,887
Hey, you.
44
00:01:41,686 --> 00:01:43,132
This is your mom, correct?
45
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,882
Otherwise we just abducted
a complete stranger.
46
00:01:44,895 --> 00:01:46,320
What is she doing here?
47
00:01:46,337 --> 00:01:48,929
Oh, bring it in,
Isabelle. We're past this.
48
00:01:48,958 --> 00:01:50,146
Come on. Get over here.
49
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,198
- Oh!
- Is this their fault?
50
00:01:52,228 --> 00:01:53,543
Did they kidnap you?
51
00:01:53,619 --> 00:01:55,040
Uh, no.
52
00:01:55,052 --> 00:01:57,010
We both know that you
shouldn't be here, right?
53
00:01:57,021 --> 00:01:59,513
Ben's second wife heartily
disagrees with you, hon.
54
00:01:59,572 --> 00:02:01,547
Her last five-minute voice mail
55
00:02:01,559 --> 00:02:03,407
was the thing that broke my resistance.
56
00:02:03,555 --> 00:02:05,453
And come on, I swear,
57
00:02:05,956 --> 00:02:07,629
I'm just here to celebrate your father.
58
00:02:07,745 --> 00:02:09,432
Is that what we're calling it now?
59
00:02:09,592 --> 00:02:12,083
Could somebody please
take my dear mother
60
00:02:12,121 --> 00:02:14,121
and lock her up before
she catches the scent?
61
00:02:14,138 --> 00:02:16,107
- Baby bro?
- Oh, is that how it is now?
62
00:02:16,124 --> 00:02:17,215
Please?
63
00:02:17,427 --> 00:02:18,826
- Yeah, sure.
- I will deal with you later.
64
00:02:18,827 --> 00:02:20,353
I'm not that person
anymore. You're gonna see.
65
00:02:20,370 --> 00:02:21,918
Been there, heard that.
66
00:02:22,708 --> 00:02:23,778
As for you two...
67
00:02:23,813 --> 00:02:25,491
Sorry to interrupt,
it's super rude, I know,
68
00:02:25,508 --> 00:02:27,069
but the reason why we're here
69
00:02:27,090 --> 00:02:29,191
is, the stuff we said yesterday...
70
00:02:29,212 --> 00:02:30,824
Nina told you to break up with me,
71
00:02:30,841 --> 00:02:33,235
you did it because you
care about me, et cetera.
72
00:02:33,831 --> 00:02:35,206
Doesn't make a difference.
73
00:02:35,575 --> 00:02:36,634
- Oh.
- Oh.
74
00:02:36,635 --> 00:02:37,963
As of five minutes ago,
75
00:02:37,997 --> 00:02:40,630
I thought that we had all
finally come to our senses,
76
00:02:40,766 --> 00:02:42,148
but here you are,
77
00:02:42,614 --> 00:02:44,263
crashing my dad's wedding
78
00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:47,176
with my mother as your date.
79
00:02:48,157 --> 00:02:50,380
Is this all right?
Are we just observers,
80
00:02:50,407 --> 00:02:53,015
or are we allowed to get
in on the, uh, shaming?
81
00:02:53,076 --> 00:02:54,976
Well, in my experience with
their dark suburban ways...
82
00:02:54,987 --> 00:02:56,684
Oh, my God. You're still here?
83
00:02:56,692 --> 00:02:58,512
You, car, booze, remember?
84
00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:01,655
Fine, but I'm doing it
for them, not for you.
85
00:03:01,756 --> 00:03:03,072
I'm doing it for the people.
86
00:03:03,199 --> 00:03:05,392
Ugh. Forgot my keys.
87
00:03:06,722 --> 00:03:09,206
Well, she was at Ben and
Lala's door when we drove by.
88
00:03:09,225 --> 00:03:10,724
Yeah, she said she needed a ride.
89
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,372
And for the record,
90
00:03:12,399 --> 00:03:15,031
we had a perfectly lovely
time. These two even sang.
91
00:03:15,047 --> 00:03:16,347
- Yeah, me and Jess.
- Mm-hmm.
92
00:03:16,365 --> 00:03:19,531
- Perfect harmony on the entire Boyz II Men catalog.
- You know this.
93
00:03:20,155 --> 00:03:24,239
Him plus her is my fucking nightmare.
94
00:03:24,345 --> 00:03:27,955
- [SIGHS] Right, but they both went through...
- Rehab, AA, all of it,
95
00:03:28,145 --> 00:03:30,290
shit still goes sideways
when they come within
96
00:03:30,306 --> 00:03:31,738
a half mile of each other.
97
00:03:31,759 --> 00:03:34,448
I think we can band together
and keep one small mom
98
00:03:34,483 --> 00:03:37,705
- away from one skinny groom, right?
- Right.
99
00:03:37,954 --> 00:03:40,951
The important thing
is, we got your signals.
100
00:03:40,998 --> 00:03:43,477
- Loud and clear.
- Yeah. Figured it out.
101
00:03:43,646 --> 00:03:45,644
[SOFT MUSIC]
102
00:03:45,797 --> 00:03:48,735
[CHUCKLES]
103
00:03:50,031 --> 00:03:51,389
I'm sorry, what?
104
00:03:51,416 --> 00:03:52,832
BOTH: Signals.
105
00:03:54,946 --> 00:03:57,277
You... sorry... [CHUCKLES]
106
00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,474
You're not implying that
I not only wanted you here
107
00:04:00,509 --> 00:04:03,805
but that I sent you
signals just to make sure?
108
00:04:03,863 --> 00:04:06,388
Right? You're not implying that, right?
109
00:04:06,698 --> 00:04:08,081
Right?
110
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:12,085
Look at this! It's glorious!
111
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,113
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God! That is stunning.
112
00:04:15,424 --> 00:04:17,714
I know, 'cause I was
smelling them the other day.
113
00:04:17,946 --> 00:04:21,176
Don't be alarmed, but do call 911.
114
00:04:21,203 --> 00:04:22,688
- What are you talking about?
- She's here.
115
00:04:22,725 --> 00:04:24,200
- Who's here?
- Jess!
116
00:04:24,903 --> 00:04:26,953
She came? Oh, oh!
117
00:04:26,964 --> 00:04:29,727
She's already bonding with
Alex! This is so perfect.
118
00:04:29,771 --> 00:04:32,122
- We're gonna be one big happy family.
- We're doomed.
119
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,316
Everything that matters will end.
120
00:04:34,765 --> 00:04:36,576
Ben, go to your happy place.
121
00:04:36,611 --> 00:04:39,336
I am trying, but traditionally,
122
00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:43,332
my happy place is 1,242
miles from my ex-wife.
123
00:04:43,348 --> 00:04:44,984
Okay, well, then go to my happy place.
124
00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:46,493
[SNAPPING RHYTHMICALLY]
♪ Ding, dong ♪
125
00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:48,153
♪ Ding, dong ♪
126
00:04:48,189 --> 00:04:50,330
♪ Do you hear the bells go ding? ♪
127
00:04:50,346 --> 00:04:52,258
♪ The bells are ringing ♪
128
00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:53,660
♪ For me and my guy ♪
129
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:55,801
- What... what are you doing?
- Karaoke.
130
00:04:55,891 --> 00:04:58,469
Whenever I'm sad or blue or stressed,
131
00:04:58,490 --> 00:05:00,610
I just sing it all the way.
Come on. Get in on this with me.
132
00:05:00,642 --> 00:05:04,300
Okay, well, I don't feel
sad or blue or stressed.
133
00:05:04,331 --> 00:05:06,503
I am scared shitless!
134
00:05:06,826 --> 00:05:08,924
I assume this has something
to do with the two of you
135
00:05:08,945 --> 00:05:13,450
- and your alleged addiction to each other?
- Lala, you have to trust me, okay?
136
00:05:13,471 --> 00:05:16,473
Together, Jess and I, chemically,
137
00:05:16,489 --> 00:05:18,301
we create a destructive force
138
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,617
- that will devour...
- I'm gonna need you to give it a rest
139
00:05:19,639 --> 00:05:21,325
with the comic book hyperbole.
140
00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:23,386
Look at me.
141
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:26,958
This isn't sex magic.
That's what we have.
142
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,544
And it isn't physical
addiction or anything like that.
143
00:05:29,882 --> 00:05:32,588
- It's not?
- No! It's love.
144
00:05:32,858 --> 00:05:36,167
[LAUGHS]
145
00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:39,068
You... you think I'm
still in love with my ex,
146
00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:41,831
and you're saying that
like that's not a bad thing.
147
00:05:41,844 --> 00:05:44,639
Honey, it's not. Look,
she was your first.
148
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:47,010
It didn't work out, so you moved on,
149
00:05:47,177 --> 00:05:49,313
but the love part's
still in there somewhere.
150
00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:51,146
And it always will be.
151
00:05:51,262 --> 00:05:53,530
Just the way I'll always love DJ Jerry.
152
00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:56,099
You dated a DJ?
153
00:05:56,385 --> 00:05:58,166
Okay, you know, I feel like, legally,
154
00:05:58,190 --> 00:05:59,884
that's something that
someone should divulge
155
00:05:59,916 --> 00:06:03,345
- very early on in a relationship.
- He was just an extremely white teenager
156
00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:05,162
with four turntables in
his parents' basement,
157
00:06:05,215 --> 00:06:07,337
but he was a huge part
of my teenage life,
158
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,302
and a part of me will always love him.
159
00:06:10,535 --> 00:06:12,157
Yeah, okay, great story, babe,
160
00:06:12,158 --> 00:06:14,880
- but how do you feel about eloping?
- Honey,
161
00:06:15,441 --> 00:06:18,843
she's here because
she's proud of you, okay?
162
00:06:18,956 --> 00:06:22,196
And because, whether
she realizes it or not,
163
00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:26,129
she loves you and always will.
164
00:06:27,418 --> 00:06:28,931
[SIGHS]
165
00:06:29,332 --> 00:06:32,655
- That's... that's kind of nice.
- Yeah!
166
00:06:32,734 --> 00:06:34,167
Ah!
167
00:06:34,258 --> 00:06:37,484
- Hey, wait, wait. Where... where are you going?
- To meet her, obviously.
168
00:06:37,526 --> 00:06:39,175
Okay.
169
00:06:40,211 --> 00:06:42,198
I was sending signals?
170
00:06:42,379 --> 00:06:44,400
Are you fucking kidding me right now?
171
00:06:44,435 --> 00:06:45,873
You set the ticking clock,
172
00:06:45,910 --> 00:06:48,192
all right? You kept dropping
hints about being at this wedding,
173
00:06:48,224 --> 00:06:50,058
so we knew exactly how much
time we had to win you back.
174
00:06:50,068 --> 00:06:51,254
I mean, it is the perfect setup.
175
00:06:51,258 --> 00:06:53,499
We literally crashed the wedding.
176
00:06:53,542 --> 00:06:54,944
- Nice.
- [CHUCKLES]
177
00:06:56,814 --> 00:06:58,045
[SIGHS]
178
00:07:03,153 --> 00:07:05,287
Jack, Emma, here's what I have to say.
179
00:07:06,078 --> 00:07:07,078
Uh-huh?
180
00:07:07,152 --> 00:07:11,326
You two have serious and
progressive mental problems
181
00:07:11,338 --> 00:07:14,125
that will make living a
normal life impossible.
182
00:07:14,138 --> 00:07:15,884
Aww, she doesn't mean it.
183
00:07:15,905 --> 00:07:18,028
- No, not buying it.
- No, it's another signal. Yeah.
184
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,182
I can't.
185
00:07:20,933 --> 00:07:22,167
[GLASS CLATTERS]
186
00:07:24,675 --> 00:07:26,485
- Iz.
- But...
187
00:07:26,502 --> 00:07:27,783
No, no buts, all right?
188
00:07:27,809 --> 00:07:31,022
These are my woods, and you
play by my rules now. Yes?
189
00:07:31,111 --> 00:07:32,270
What are the rules?
190
00:07:32,414 --> 00:07:33,481
Be smart.
191
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:36,024
Meaning stay away from her?
192
00:07:36,392 --> 00:07:38,553
Oh, God, you don't have to
man-aphrase me, Griswold.
193
00:07:38,582 --> 00:07:41,551
Just be smart, okay?
194
00:07:43,226 --> 00:07:45,755
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
195
00:07:46,622 --> 00:07:50,097
♪ ♪
196
00:07:50,335 --> 00:07:52,385
Yeah, we're gonna watch you too.
197
00:07:52,449 --> 00:07:53,932
[LAUGHS]
198
00:07:54,127 --> 00:07:56,336
[SOFT MUSIC]
199
00:07:56,372 --> 00:07:59,807
♪ ♪
200
00:07:59,842 --> 00:08:01,358
[SIGHS]
201
00:08:02,174 --> 00:08:03,801
What is that in your hand?
202
00:08:04,072 --> 00:08:05,771
Oh, it's a book.
203
00:08:05,784 --> 00:08:07,481
And what are you doing with it?
204
00:08:07,516 --> 00:08:10,152
I had a lot of bad habits to replace.
205
00:08:10,584 --> 00:08:13,062
[DUCKS QUACKING]
206
00:08:13,967 --> 00:08:15,790
What? What are you doing?
207
00:08:16,022 --> 00:08:17,261
Checking for tunnels.
208
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,132
Making sure you're not
Shawshank-ing your way
209
00:08:20,140 --> 00:08:22,319
to go celebrate Ben or
whatever you're calling it now.
210
00:08:22,572 --> 00:08:25,355
I meant what I said, okay?
211
00:08:25,381 --> 00:08:27,701
I'm really happy for him,
and I need him to know.
212
00:08:27,736 --> 00:08:29,225
They make cards for that.
213
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,408
Do you know, I...
214
00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,750
I could've kept telling
you how much I've changed,
215
00:08:35,135 --> 00:08:37,393
but I thought I'd give you
a chance to see for yourself.
216
00:08:38,078 --> 00:08:40,391
[SIGHS]
217
00:08:47,088 --> 00:08:49,930
I need you to tell me, "I'm not
still in love with your father,
218
00:08:49,951 --> 00:08:52,386
and I am not here to
blow up his wedding."
219
00:08:52,873 --> 00:08:54,450
Yes to the second part.
220
00:08:54,462 --> 00:08:55,996
Mom, come on.
221
00:08:56,031 --> 00:08:58,064
Izzy, sweetheart, listen to me.
222
00:08:58,192 --> 00:09:00,834
Lala was totally right.
223
00:09:01,068 --> 00:09:03,131
What your father and I did to each other
224
00:09:04,319 --> 00:09:05,917
wasn't about falling out of love.
225
00:09:06,074 --> 00:09:09,008
♪ ♪
226
00:09:10,065 --> 00:09:11,740
So love isn't enough.
227
00:09:12,780 --> 00:09:13,909
Sadly, no.
228
00:09:14,108 --> 00:09:16,294
And breaking up doesn't
make it any better.
229
00:09:17,626 --> 00:09:19,218
Guess that's something
we have in common.
230
00:09:20,048 --> 00:09:23,575
♪ ♪
231
00:09:26,395 --> 00:09:28,556
- You can stay.
- Thank you.
232
00:09:29,262 --> 00:09:31,486
Swap out your slacks for some jeans.
233
00:09:31,499 --> 00:09:33,366
Bachelorette party
is kind of honky-tonk.
234
00:09:33,431 --> 00:09:35,972
Oh, no, honey, I'm just gonna
stay and curl up with my...
235
00:09:35,989 --> 00:09:37,101
Not a chance in hell.
236
00:09:38,052 --> 00:09:40,631
I'm gonna keep you within
tackling distance all weekend.
237
00:09:42,006 --> 00:09:43,228
Good.
238
00:09:43,938 --> 00:09:44,938
Good.
239
00:09:47,022 --> 00:09:48,459
Mm-hmm.
240
00:09:48,683 --> 00:09:52,251
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
241
00:09:52,506 --> 00:09:55,264
[MOCKINGLY] "Oh, yeah. We're all
just gonna show up in the woods
242
00:09:55,283 --> 00:09:57,585
"and a wedding is
spontaneously gonna break out.
243
00:09:57,601 --> 00:09:59,102
Charming Disney woodland creatures
244
00:09:59,124 --> 00:10:01,160
are gonna carry out Mother
Nature's intricate plan!"
245
00:10:01,196 --> 00:10:04,070
God, did I mention the
dueling love triangles
246
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,892
that I have to keep from intersecting
247
00:10:05,901 --> 00:10:07,579
and blowing up the whole world?
248
00:10:07,596 --> 00:10:08,667
So, what, now I'm a...
249
00:10:08,703 --> 00:10:10,476
I'm a wedding planner and a therapist?
250
00:10:10,497 --> 00:10:12,391
This shit right here
is my Mount Everest,
251
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,535
and I'm gonna be eating
all the dead Sherpas
252
00:10:14,569 --> 00:10:16,797
who came before me on my
brave trek to the summit,
253
00:10:16,819 --> 00:10:19,377
where I will cry out,
"Whoo, motherfuckers,
254
00:10:19,389 --> 00:10:20,793
I am your queen!"
255
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,141
Can I get an amen?
256
00:10:22,196 --> 00:10:23,841
Amen, sister!
257
00:10:24,196 --> 00:10:25,778
Who are you talking to?
258
00:10:25,816 --> 00:10:28,540
- Uh, you now.
- Jesus, and you're, what,
259
00:10:28,574 --> 00:10:30,679
like, the eleventh-craziest person here?
260
00:10:32,354 --> 00:10:33,881
You're pretty much self-actualizing,
261
00:10:33,889 --> 00:10:36,294
aren't ya, Izzy's sassy sidekick?
262
00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:37,542
What the hell are you talking about?
263
00:10:37,555 --> 00:10:39,130
You... you know what? Never mind.
264
00:10:39,165 --> 00:10:41,665
Blow me and get over yourself,
in no particular order.
265
00:10:41,712 --> 00:10:43,484
Oh, wow. So now you've, what,
266
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,205
slagged off my mom, forced me to smoke,
267
00:10:45,226 --> 00:10:46,637
and made sexual advances?
268
00:10:46,773 --> 00:10:49,286
I feel a very brave
Instagram post coming on.
269
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:52,176
Do you have any drugs, or do you
want to just take me shoplifting?
270
00:10:53,224 --> 00:10:55,994
Begone, and take your
unearned arrogance with you.
271
00:10:56,052 --> 00:10:58,716
Deal with it, sister. You
obviously love this wedding shit.
272
00:11:00,081 --> 00:11:03,812
♪ ♪
273
00:11:04,721 --> 00:11:06,492
God damn it, I like that kid.
274
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,525
[GRUNTS]
275
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:12,110
[SIGHS]
276
00:11:13,653 --> 00:11:16,011
- Well, that was something.
- It's over.
277
00:11:16,132 --> 00:11:18,579
- She's over us.
- What, are you serious?
278
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,203
Did you not see that vein popping
out of the middle of her forehead?
279
00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:22,372
How is that apathy?
280
00:11:22,407 --> 00:11:24,299
Wait, so she was
pretending to be over us?
281
00:11:24,696 --> 00:11:28,028
I'm growing concerned about your
inability to read social cues.
282
00:11:28,049 --> 00:11:29,225
Are you sure?
283
00:11:29,482 --> 00:11:31,782
Like, not about me but about her?
284
00:11:31,799 --> 00:11:34,269
That was basically a
fireworks show of passion.
285
00:11:34,383 --> 00:11:38,021
Trying to pose as apathetic just
makes it glaringly obvious she's not.
286
00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:40,652
Okay. Cool.
287
00:11:41,127 --> 00:11:42,496
Wait, what... so what was it with Nina
288
00:11:42,507 --> 00:11:44,023
with that whole "be
smart" business, then?
289
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,996
I don't know. Do we care?
290
00:11:46,878 --> 00:11:48,874
- We do not.
- We do not.
291
00:11:48,932 --> 00:11:52,594
So let's resume the wedding
crashing and go get our girl.
292
00:11:52,607 --> 00:11:54,071
- Yes!
- Yes.
293
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:56,469
Why is it when we're alone,
294
00:11:56,474 --> 00:11:58,460
we reconvince ourselves
that everybody else is crazy
295
00:11:58,476 --> 00:11:59,911
- and we're the sane ones?
- Shh.
296
00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:04,050
Okay, cool. Cool.
297
00:12:04,148 --> 00:12:05,742
- [COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
- ♪ Hail, hail ♪
298
00:12:05,784 --> 00:12:07,366
♪ The gang's all there ♪
299
00:12:07,413 --> 00:12:10,284
I can feel it in my soul. It's the best.
300
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:11,544
Pitchers of beer.
301
00:12:11,611 --> 00:12:12,922
I'm back in college.
302
00:12:12,957 --> 00:12:14,486
Warning: avoid a mirror.
303
00:12:14,503 --> 00:12:15,721
- Warning: fuck you.
- [LAUGHS]
304
00:12:15,742 --> 00:12:17,226
Meaning it but loving you.
305
00:12:17,451 --> 00:12:18,728
[GIGGLES]
306
00:12:18,763 --> 00:12:22,135
Emma, tell me all about your twins.
307
00:12:22,178 --> 00:12:24,697
- Izzy says they are just...
- Nope, you will not be completing
308
00:12:24,708 --> 00:12:27,636
- any sentences that start like that.
- Okeydokey.
309
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:31,189
I've heard a rumor that
they're absolutely amazing.
310
00:12:31,205 --> 00:12:33,386
I think so. I mean, at first,
311
00:12:33,410 --> 00:12:35,262
I had to use their names interchangeably
312
00:12:35,273 --> 00:12:37,821
but not anymore because
Lucy's got this...
313
00:12:37,842 --> 00:12:41,206
I don't know, this sweet
little giggle. It's like a...
314
00:12:41,253 --> 00:12:42,569
[GIGGLING SHORTLY] Hoo-hoo.
315
00:12:42,611 --> 00:12:46,419
And then Rose has got this deep,
throaty, contemplative laugh.
316
00:12:46,444 --> 00:12:48,047
It's like... [CHUCKLING DEEPLY]
Huh-huh-huh.
317
00:12:48,081 --> 00:12:49,891
[LAUGHTER]
318
00:12:50,263 --> 00:12:52,394
Oh, my God, I just realized
how much I miss them.
319
00:12:52,547 --> 00:12:53,650
Aww.
320
00:12:55,185 --> 00:12:57,337
What are you do... Are
you smelling my hand?
321
00:12:57,801 --> 00:12:59,266
Is it leached in deep?
322
00:12:59,308 --> 00:13:01,321
- She smells like a giant baby.
- Oh, yeah.
323
00:13:01,337 --> 00:13:04,019
Oh, you're gonna miss that
when it's gone, trust me.
324
00:13:04,213 --> 00:13:05,606
Oh, speaking of smells,
325
00:13:05,641 --> 00:13:07,380
this one, when she'd do a poopy...
326
00:13:07,744 --> 00:13:08,744
- Mom.
- She'd...
327
00:13:08,763 --> 00:13:10,695
What? No, it's a good story.
328
00:13:10,746 --> 00:13:13,106
It's really funny. She'd
make a scrunched-up face.
329
00:13:13,148 --> 00:13:16,896
Ben and I would talk
for her and she'd say,
330
00:13:16,965 --> 00:13:20,210
[STRAINED] "I think
America's oil addiction
331
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:21,505
is the root of the issue."
332
00:13:21,515 --> 00:13:22,758
Right? Oh, see, that's the face,
333
00:13:22,773 --> 00:13:24,391
- exactly that right there.
- You know what?
334
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:26,045
- Here's... here's a fun idea.
- Hmm?
335
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:28,414
- Let's not talk about me pooping.
- Okay.
336
00:13:29,331 --> 00:13:31,665
- I am so glad you came.
- Oh!
337
00:13:31,808 --> 00:13:33,420
- Come here. Bring it in.
- Oh, you are...
338
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:35,449
- Bring it in. Let's get in this. Come on.
- Oh!
339
00:13:35,461 --> 00:13:38,566
- You are something else, I gotta say.
- You too, lady, yeah.
340
00:13:38,707 --> 00:13:41,040
Tell us more about Izzy as a kid.
341
00:13:41,075 --> 00:13:43,774
Well, she was our little angel.
342
00:13:43,914 --> 00:13:46,872
She really was. We didn't deserve her.
343
00:13:46,918 --> 00:13:48,788
By the time she was six, she was...
344
00:13:48,801 --> 00:13:50,308
reading us bedtime stories.
345
00:13:50,321 --> 00:13:53,360
Selfish motive: no way I
could sleep with you guys
346
00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:56,221
falling all over the
house like baby giraffes.
347
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:59,214
♪ ♪
348
00:14:00,641 --> 00:14:02,200
Sorry.
349
00:14:03,475 --> 00:14:05,028
It's okay.
350
00:14:06,468 --> 00:14:08,470
Sometimes I would...
351
00:14:08,836 --> 00:14:11,331
I'd realize I'd been
sitting there for a while
352
00:14:11,338 --> 00:14:13,472
and I'd run this movie in my head,
353
00:14:13,507 --> 00:14:16,352
kind of like a Capraesque second chance,
354
00:14:16,365 --> 00:14:18,982
you know, like a parenting do-over.
355
00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:21,063
♪ ♪
356
00:14:21,248 --> 00:14:23,388
Because there's nothing
else in the universe
357
00:14:23,402 --> 00:14:25,906
than I would rather have than that.
358
00:14:26,022 --> 00:14:27,185
♪ ♪
359
00:14:27,220 --> 00:14:28,829
This girl raised herself,
360
00:14:28,866 --> 00:14:31,006
basically, and I think
she did an amazing...
361
00:14:31,249 --> 00:14:32,846
an amazing job.
362
00:14:33,147 --> 00:14:36,829
♪ ♪
363
00:14:36,979 --> 00:14:38,618
Hey. To our girl.
364
00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:40,209
- No. That's dumb.
- Yeah.
365
00:14:40,283 --> 00:14:42,111
Isabelle, come on.
366
00:14:42,435 --> 00:14:45,969
- Fine, yes, I am spectacular.
- Yes, you are.
367
00:14:46,573 --> 00:14:48,268
I agree.
368
00:14:48,908 --> 00:14:50,942
♪ ♪
369
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,675
Hey, Trakarsky,
370
00:14:52,727 --> 00:14:55,115
cool it with the googly eyes,
or I'm putting you on a bus.
371
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:58,115
♪ ♪
372
00:14:58,254 --> 00:15:00,273
I'm becoming a foster mom.
373
00:15:02,007 --> 00:15:06,436
To Leo and whoever else
needs me down there.
374
00:15:06,574 --> 00:15:08,058
♪ ♪
375
00:15:08,094 --> 00:15:10,759
I just... I love working
with those kids so much.
376
00:15:10,817 --> 00:15:12,889
The hardest part is leaving
them at the end of the day,
377
00:15:12,905 --> 00:15:15,712
so after a lot of deliberation,
378
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,487
I think I'm ready...
379
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:19,681
[EXHALES SHARPLY] To be a mom,
380
00:15:19,755 --> 00:15:22,677
even if it is just temporary.
381
00:15:22,741 --> 00:15:24,601
Sweetheart, you're so not ready.
382
00:15:24,659 --> 00:15:27,264
[LAUGHS] Permanent,
temporary, or otherwise.
383
00:15:27,269 --> 00:15:28,697
Well, thank you so much for that.
384
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,325
- Hey, New Mom, you have anything?
- Old Mom is right.
385
00:15:31,362 --> 00:15:33,102
Nobody's ever ready for motherhood,
386
00:15:33,112 --> 00:15:35,269
no matter the size, shape, or color.
387
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:36,892
But you just keep showing up.
388
00:15:37,378 --> 00:15:40,655
Yeah, and you know what, Izzy?
You're gonna be fantastic.
389
00:15:40,687 --> 00:15:42,907
You really are. You're
gonna be everything...
390
00:15:43,663 --> 00:15:45,111
that I wasn't.
391
00:15:45,275 --> 00:15:49,340
♪ ♪
392
00:15:50,882 --> 00:15:53,995
You love me, and no matter...
393
00:15:55,006 --> 00:15:57,325
no matter what happened,
I always knew that, so...
394
00:15:57,362 --> 00:16:00,610
I always, like, had it with me. So...
395
00:16:01,831 --> 00:16:05,981
maybe you were more than
either of us realized.
396
00:16:06,429 --> 00:16:07,581
[CHUCKLES]
397
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:10,377
Get over here, you.
Come here. Come here.
398
00:16:11,028 --> 00:16:13,680
- I love you.
- I love you too.
399
00:16:13,891 --> 00:16:17,903
♪ ♪
400
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:20,663
- Lala.
- No, just let me be.
401
00:16:20,698 --> 00:16:22,622
[SNIFFLES] I'm the bride.
402
00:16:23,334 --> 00:16:26,159
So what are the guys doing
back at the house anyway,
403
00:16:26,175 --> 00:16:27,603
just normal bachelor party stuff?
404
00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,193
Oh, no, I'm... [CLEARS THROAT]
405
00:16:29,206 --> 00:16:32,321
I'm sure they're having
a very productive evening.
406
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,134
[FROGS CROAKING]
407
00:16:34,203 --> 00:16:35,461
Who's ready for a drinks?
408
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:36,462
- Oh, please.
- Yeah!
409
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:37,495
- Thank God.
- Alcohol!
410
00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:38,878
- Alcohol? Pfft!
- Yeah.
411
00:16:38,895 --> 00:16:41,326
Who needs alcohol to have fun?
412
00:16:41,351 --> 00:16:42,844
- Me.
- Yikes.
413
00:16:42,910 --> 00:16:43,910
That's all of you, huh?
414
00:16:43,914 --> 00:16:47,076
Okay, well, these colorful concoctions
415
00:16:47,102 --> 00:16:50,252
are crisp, refreshing
artisanal mocktails.
416
00:16:50,887 --> 00:16:53,061
Virtually nothing about that
sentence makes sense to me.
417
00:16:53,077 --> 00:16:54,923
I can't believe we were worried
that a hetero bachelor party
418
00:16:54,932 --> 00:16:56,551
would be too basic and fratty.
419
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,945
Honey, this is so much worse.
420
00:16:59,046 --> 00:17:02,771
Okay, guys, the guest of honor is
taking a lifelong break from imbibing,
421
00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:05,049
so maybe we just... you know,
we show a little support?
422
00:17:05,540 --> 00:17:06,667
Hey, psst.
423
00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:08,998
Is that one of those
evolved-dude concepts
424
00:17:09,008 --> 00:17:10,912
I'm supposed to pretend to support
no matter how much I hate it?
425
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,739
- It is.
- Ah, God damn it.
426
00:17:12,756 --> 00:17:14,768
Honestly, couldn't give a shit.
427
00:17:14,811 --> 00:17:16,722
Drink. Be merry.
428
00:17:16,752 --> 00:17:18,977
Wake up marinating in
guilt, self-loathing,
429
00:17:18,989 --> 00:17:20,822
and what you hope is your own urine.
430
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,023
[CHUCKLES]
431
00:17:22,183 --> 00:17:23,565
Mm-hmm.
432
00:17:23,608 --> 00:17:26,639
My bad. Not everyone's idea
of how the party ends, okay.
433
00:17:26,643 --> 00:17:27,899
No, it actually sounded great to me.
434
00:17:27,924 --> 00:17:31,581
Yeah. Hey, you heard the
man, fellas. Let's get fuuu...
435
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:35,669
Let's have some... let's have...
let's get the fun. Let's get fun.
436
00:17:35,771 --> 00:17:37,905
No, you heard the word "fucked."
437
00:17:38,096 --> 00:17:41,124
- Don't look at me.
- That said,
438
00:17:41,203 --> 00:17:44,796
you have been away from social
media for a few hours now,
439
00:17:44,809 --> 00:17:46,643
and you seem to be
getting a little anxious.
440
00:17:46,707 --> 00:17:48,415
Mm! Wow.
441
00:17:48,538 --> 00:17:50,670
You want me to leave the
lamest bachelor party ever?
442
00:17:50,691 --> 00:17:51,875
- Yes, we do.
- That sucks.
443
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:52,912
Yeah.
444
00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:54,675
- Later.
- Love you, pal.
445
00:17:55,749 --> 00:17:58,245
So full disclosure,
446
00:17:58,261 --> 00:18:00,765
the teetotaling isn't
just for Ben's benefit,
447
00:18:00,803 --> 00:18:04,191
'cause we have a lot
to do here, boys, huh?
448
00:18:04,199 --> 00:18:06,009
So let's put on our happy faces,
449
00:18:06,026 --> 00:18:07,611
'cause first thing up is
450
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,537
cigar rolling!
451
00:18:09,572 --> 00:18:11,176
- What?
- That's fun, right?
452
00:18:11,185 --> 00:18:12,906
That's... that's fun for...
453
00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:15,942
smoking, and it's an
applicable life skill.
454
00:18:15,978 --> 00:18:19,105
And we need to finish these
centerpieces because in 28 minutes,
455
00:18:19,142 --> 00:18:21,782
the wax is gonna be hot enough for...
456
00:18:22,012 --> 00:18:24,105
candlemaking!
457
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,373
Is that a joke or...
458
00:18:25,384 --> 00:18:27,223
Okay, you know in the
movies when the gay friends
459
00:18:27,234 --> 00:18:28,622
are shipped off with the women
460
00:18:28,658 --> 00:18:30,764
and it's a little assumptive
and kind of insulting?
461
00:18:30,791 --> 00:18:32,271
I would "Yas, queen" and "You go, girl"
462
00:18:32,281 --> 00:18:33,922
up and down the streets
if it got me out of this...
463
00:18:33,929 --> 00:18:35,312
- [CELL PHONE BUZZES]
- Thinly veiled labor camp.
464
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:36,574
- Totally.
- Oh, would you look at this?
465
00:18:36,838 --> 00:18:39,760
Dave and Carmen sent an
85-year-old bottle of Cognac
466
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,101
and fireworks.
467
00:18:41,518 --> 00:18:43,243
Oh, that's not presumptuous at all.
468
00:18:43,374 --> 00:18:44,507
Totally cool,
469
00:18:44,515 --> 00:18:47,171
in no way shows that my sudden
one-percenter best friend
470
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:48,579
- has turned into a total douche.
- [CELL PHONE BUZZES]
471
00:18:48,617 --> 00:18:50,160
And looks like unbeknownst to Carmen,
472
00:18:50,182 --> 00:18:52,152
Dave has contracted two of the area's
473
00:18:52,178 --> 00:18:54,535
best female performance artists, huh?
474
00:18:54,609 --> 00:18:57,194
Oh, like Laurie Anderson in the 1980s.
475
00:18:57,231 --> 00:18:59,789
You know, I got so good at
pretending to love that stuff.
476
00:18:59,868 --> 00:19:03,489
Did the same thing with "Mad
Men," jazz, and kombucha.
477
00:19:03,679 --> 00:19:05,958
- He's talking about strippers, Ben.
- Strippers, Ben.
478
00:19:06,190 --> 00:19:07,370
That's a hard no.
479
00:19:07,387 --> 00:19:09,983
Actually, all the research I've done
480
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,232
shows that most women
find stripping empowering.
481
00:19:12,388 --> 00:19:14,118
[LAUGHS]
482
00:19:15,268 --> 00:19:16,613
Oh, God, you're serious.
483
00:19:16,630 --> 00:19:18,495
Oh, yeah, big-time.
Absolutely. It's a thing.
484
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:20,212
Yeah, that straight men made up
485
00:19:20,241 --> 00:19:22,680
- so they could hire strippers.
- No.
486
00:19:22,723 --> 00:19:24,917
- Yes.
- Guys, if Ben really wanted
487
00:19:24,932 --> 00:19:27,073
to do something like that,
it would be on his list.
488
00:19:27,147 --> 00:19:28,917
How is that my list?
489
00:19:29,183 --> 00:19:31,016
[PLAYFUL MUSIC]
490
00:19:31,052 --> 00:19:32,924
Oh, God damn it.
491
00:19:34,555 --> 00:19:37,003
[LAUGHTER AND CHATTER]
492
00:19:37,062 --> 00:19:39,149
You can buy me all the drinks you want,
493
00:19:39,191 --> 00:19:42,901
- but I still got my eye on you.
- Nope, Carm called in her card.
494
00:19:42,918 --> 00:19:45,809
Whole night's on her. So generous.
495
00:19:45,841 --> 00:19:47,802
Mm, so the Amaris went and broke
496
00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:49,568
the unwritten social contract, did they?
497
00:19:49,779 --> 00:19:51,497
Well, they didn't stay more or less
498
00:19:51,507 --> 00:19:53,917
socioeconomically
samesies with you guys.
499
00:19:53,949 --> 00:19:56,080
See, people don't need
to be rich to be happy,
500
00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:57,935
but falling behind their peers?
501
00:19:58,041 --> 00:20:01,010
Ugh, that shit tends to
get nine kinds of ugly.
502
00:20:01,053 --> 00:20:03,452
But I mean, it's about
more than just becoming
503
00:20:03,473 --> 00:20:06,652
the official neighborhood poors, right?
504
00:20:07,136 --> 00:20:09,324
What are you talking about?
505
00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:11,348
Well, I mean, it's starting to look like
506
00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:13,864
one super-boring couple
was a little more committed
507
00:20:13,896 --> 00:20:15,023
to the plan than the other one?
508
00:20:15,028 --> 00:20:17,540
Okay, is there a reason you're being
a gigantic dick to me right now?
509
00:20:17,567 --> 00:20:18,767
Do I need one?
510
00:20:18,925 --> 00:20:21,899
I kid. But I think
the better question is,
511
00:20:21,963 --> 00:20:24,029
am I even being a dick at all?
512
00:20:25,293 --> 00:20:27,242
What, you're finally seeing the light
513
00:20:27,243 --> 00:20:28,258
- and it's back...
- [SHUSHING]
514
00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:29,690
Okay, that was rude.
515
00:20:29,712 --> 00:20:31,122
Yeah, rude? You called me poor.
516
00:20:31,135 --> 00:20:32,696
Like, you used it as a noun.
517
00:20:32,966 --> 00:20:34,912
Who does that guy think he is?
518
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:36,700
Is he...
519
00:20:36,716 --> 00:20:40,884
- [CHUCKLES]
- Is he touching her beautiful silky hair?
520
00:20:41,121 --> 00:20:42,364
She doesn't want this.
521
00:20:42,422 --> 00:20:44,537
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Okay, he touched her ass.
522
00:20:44,558 --> 00:20:45,735
She does not like that. I'm going in.
523
00:20:45,769 --> 00:20:46,826
- Hey, wait, wait.
- I'm going in. Yo!
524
00:20:46,856 --> 00:20:48,171
- Yo, excuse me!
- Get back here, okay?
525
00:20:48,289 --> 00:20:49,593
Excuse me, yo, hey.
526
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:50,881
- Yeah.
- Sloppy Gilmore,
527
00:20:50,896 --> 00:20:52,835
just what do you think
you're doing over there?
528
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:55,328
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Actually, that was pretty good.
529
00:20:55,329 --> 00:20:56,580
- It's my only golf reference. No,
- It's okay.
530
00:20:56,581 --> 00:20:58,281
- 'cause he wasn't listening.
- Emma, he's a drunk asshole. I'm...
531
00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,358
It's a thing. People
don't listen to you.
532
00:20:59,373 --> 00:21:01,162
- Yo, where are you in from?
- Portland.
533
00:21:01,212 --> 00:21:03,132
Portland? Yeah, same. What part?
534
00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:06,213
- Morrison Highlands, baby.
- Oh, Morrison Highlands...
535
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,549
- Yeah.
- Where very face looks like your own.
536
00:21:08,586 --> 00:21:09,796
Well, let me guess where you're from.
537
00:21:09,823 --> 00:21:11,989
I am from Hawthorne
motherfucking Heights, okay?
538
00:21:12,031 --> 00:21:14,146
Oh, what, where the
school mascot's a dog.
539
00:21:14,162 --> 00:21:16,182
It is not a dog, okay? It is a husky.
540
00:21:16,212 --> 00:21:17,248
- Woof!
- It's a husky.
541
00:21:17,256 --> 00:21:18,554
Fine, whatever. Fuck, that's a dog.
542
00:21:18,584 --> 00:21:20,372
- Listen...
- I can... I can do this by myself.
543
00:21:20,398 --> 00:21:22,170
- See, she's fine.
- No, you need to keep
544
00:21:22,179 --> 00:21:23,667
- your hands to yourself.
- Okay, whoa, excuse me, are you a security guard?
545
00:21:23,695 --> 00:21:24,943
'Cause I just want to know
546
00:21:25,058 --> 00:21:27,434
why you're stepping in
and patting down my girl.
547
00:21:27,489 --> 00:21:29,003
Wait, she's your girl?
548
00:21:29,046 --> 00:21:30,677
[LAUGHS] That's awesome.
549
00:21:30,724 --> 00:21:33,045
No, no, no, this is not
part of your douche-y,
550
00:21:33,061 --> 00:21:35,798
boring male-ass fantasy,
okay? Because what we have...
551
00:21:35,835 --> 00:21:38,542
what we have is real.
What we have is real, Iz.
552
00:21:38,997 --> 00:21:40,576
Actually, she's my wife.
553
00:21:40,842 --> 00:21:42,819
- Mm-hmm.
- Technically, yes, I am.
554
00:21:42,861 --> 00:21:44,811
Yeah, and we're married to the same man.
555
00:21:44,849 --> 00:21:47,475
Can you handle that, or is
that a little too progressive
556
00:21:47,496 --> 00:21:50,286
for your simple MAGA mind, huh?
557
00:21:50,321 --> 00:21:51,413
Come on, babe, let's get out of here.
558
00:21:51,461 --> 00:21:53,707
- You're really gonna drag me off like a cavewoman?
- Oh, yeah, I never thought
559
00:21:53,733 --> 00:21:55,546
I'd say these words, but,
lady, I'm gonna need you
560
00:21:55,562 --> 00:21:58,539
- to take your hands off of the other la...
- [CROWD GASPS]
561
00:21:59,057 --> 00:22:00,796
She threw a drink in his face.
562
00:22:00,831 --> 00:22:01,963
- I saw it!
- What? I did not!
563
00:22:01,995 --> 00:22:04,064
- Did you just throw a drink in my face?
- [PEOPLE CLAMORING]
564
00:22:04,276 --> 00:22:05,708
Drink in my face.
565
00:22:05,736 --> 00:22:08,337
CROWD: Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
566
00:22:08,373 --> 00:22:10,439
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
567
00:22:10,655 --> 00:22:13,673
Okay, maybe Nina
misrepresented the list,
568
00:22:13,694 --> 00:22:15,811
made me think it came from Ben, but...
569
00:22:15,957 --> 00:22:18,146
it's time for steaks!
570
00:22:18,181 --> 00:22:19,810
- Great, let's eat.
- Okay.
571
00:22:19,837 --> 00:22:20,983
Okay, good.
572
00:22:21,004 --> 00:22:25,594
Looks like Nina has found
a fantastic recipe for a...
573
00:22:26,783 --> 00:22:28,327
18-hour marinade.
574
00:22:28,369 --> 00:22:31,247
- Jesus.
- Which you started 17 hours and 59 minutes ago?
575
00:22:31,274 --> 00:22:34,038
- Please say yes.
- Uh, no.
576
00:22:34,068 --> 00:22:38,127
So I think maybe meat prep
will be our next activity?
577
00:22:38,167 --> 00:22:40,254
Hey there, friend-o down at the end.
578
00:22:40,938 --> 00:22:42,976
These are not activities.
579
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,496
These are chores.
580
00:22:44,595 --> 00:22:46,544
Yeah, and this isn't a bachelor party.
581
00:22:46,557 --> 00:22:48,374
- It's a sweatshop.
- Bingo.
582
00:22:48,434 --> 00:22:50,339
That woman, she's an evil genius.
583
00:22:50,402 --> 00:22:52,580
She made you a honey-do list
584
00:22:52,612 --> 00:22:54,536
and made you think it was
a bachelor party agenda,
585
00:22:54,578 --> 00:22:56,875
so maybe Nina's intellect isn't
the one we should be questioning?
586
00:22:56,886 --> 00:22:58,488
- Huh, dumbass?
- [CHORTLES]
587
00:22:58,789 --> 00:23:02,034
Guys... don't be ridiculous.
Go to the fucking bar.
588
00:23:02,087 --> 00:23:03,390
- Right.
- Look at this.
589
00:23:03,426 --> 00:23:05,716
Dave used his Lyft Double Platinum app
590
00:23:05,742 --> 00:23:08,205
to get us a Rolls-Royce SUV,
591
00:23:08,237 --> 00:23:11,857
champagne, matching
bibs, and chair massages.
592
00:23:11,899 --> 00:23:13,617
- Sweet.
- That's fucking bullshit.
593
00:23:13,643 --> 00:23:14,738
Unbelievable.
594
00:23:14,775 --> 00:23:17,645
- I mean, he's gone too far, I think.
- Well, yeah, that is unbelievable.
595
00:23:17,676 --> 00:23:18,714
Yeah, 'cause who actually thinks
596
00:23:18,735 --> 00:23:20,541
there's something called
Lyft Double Platinum
597
00:23:20,577 --> 00:23:22,149
but they keep it on the DL 'cause
598
00:23:22,162 --> 00:23:24,493
it's just for super-rich
children's book authors?
599
00:23:25,148 --> 00:23:27,088
- Dipshits do.
- Yeah, you.
600
00:23:27,113 --> 00:23:28,711
You're the booby prize,
not the guy who thought
601
00:23:28,745 --> 00:23:30,917
a chain gang was a
bachelor party, right?
602
00:23:30,953 --> 00:23:32,238
- Yeah, still you, buddy.
- It's still you, buddy.
603
00:23:32,279 --> 00:23:33,320
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
604
00:23:33,321 --> 00:23:34,568
- Bye.
- Okay.
605
00:23:34,606 --> 00:23:36,378
- Great, you good?
- Yeah, good. All good.
606
00:23:36,433 --> 00:23:38,174
- Happy wedding.
- Ciao, man.
607
00:23:38,217 --> 00:23:39,324
Great.
608
00:23:39,790 --> 00:23:40,817
Cheers.
609
00:23:41,262 --> 00:23:45,282
♪ ♪
610
00:23:46,686 --> 00:23:48,169
Oh, God.
611
00:23:48,482 --> 00:23:50,971
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
612
00:23:51,442 --> 00:23:54,672
I am not entirely sure where
this goes from here, so...
613
00:23:54,736 --> 00:23:57,539
Neither am I, so...
614
00:23:57,578 --> 00:23:59,886
Uh, well... fair is fair.
615
00:24:00,123 --> 00:24:01,464
Take it like a man, hmm?
616
00:24:01,498 --> 00:24:04,067
Well, if I took it like anything,
I'd take it like a woman,
617
00:24:04,093 --> 00:24:06,821
but since I didn't throw
a drink in your... Oh!
618
00:24:07,741 --> 00:24:10,114
Oh, it is freaking on, people.
619
00:24:10,558 --> 00:24:11,690
What's happening here?
620
00:24:11,697 --> 00:24:13,067
- We having a bar brawl?
- Okay, well...
621
00:24:13,074 --> 00:24:15,526
- Awesome.
- That man was very, very rude.
622
00:24:15,543 --> 00:24:17,605
He had his hands all over Izzy.
623
00:24:17,606 --> 00:24:18,606
- What?
- Oh!
624
00:24:18,610 --> 00:24:20,156
Hey, that is not cool, sir.
625
00:24:20,406 --> 00:24:22,169
Someone should really
confront that guy or something.
626
00:24:22,257 --> 00:24:23,464
Yeah, yeah.
627
00:24:23,654 --> 00:24:24,665
You'll thank me later.
628
00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:27,211
- What? What are you talking about?
- Remember, it's all in the eyes.
629
00:24:27,264 --> 00:24:28,780
- [GRUNTS]
- No. Whoa!
630
00:24:28,784 --> 00:24:30,794
- [CROWD GASPS]
- Who the hell are... What is this now?
631
00:24:30,831 --> 00:24:33,178
This is my husband.
632
00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:36,185
And he was one tough boxer.
633
00:24:36,383 --> 00:24:38,046
- Since when?
- He won the blue medal.
634
00:24:38,099 --> 00:24:40,118
- Gold medal.
- And the gold medal.
635
00:24:40,149 --> 00:24:42,316
- How 'bout that, huh?
- Go get him, hon.
636
00:24:42,358 --> 00:24:44,615
- How 'bout what?
- Something we have in common.
637
00:24:44,684 --> 00:24:46,344
- What's that?
- Couple of college boxers
638
00:24:46,402 --> 00:24:47,967
- squaring off in a bar fight?
- Right.
639
00:24:48,009 --> 00:24:49,262
I was a heavyweight.
640
00:24:49,388 --> 00:24:50,529
[RUN COLT RUN'S "AIN'T THE SAVING KIND"]
641
00:24:50,564 --> 00:24:54,358
♪ I been waiting for someone ♪
642
00:24:55,981 --> 00:25:00,050
♪ To save me and call me her own ♪
643
00:25:00,674 --> 00:25:06,135
♪ I ain't looking for
no soul salvation ♪
644
00:25:06,172 --> 00:25:07,878
♪ If there's anything left ♪
645
00:25:07,913 --> 00:25:10,647
♪ I ain't the saving kind ♪
646
00:25:10,683 --> 00:25:13,371
♪ I ain't the saving kind ♪
647
00:25:13,408 --> 00:25:15,852
♪ I ain't the saving kind ♪
648
00:25:15,888 --> 00:25:18,456
♪ I ain't the saving kind ♪
649
00:25:18,491 --> 00:25:20,324
♪ I ain't the, I ain't the ♪
650
00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:23,195
♪ I ain't the saving kind ♪
651
00:25:23,196 --> 00:25:28,196
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
49031
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