Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,080
["Work" playing]
2
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:10,040
[Nigel] Okay, can we welcome to his first
regional management meeting, Greg Holder.
3
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:11,480
Hello.
4
00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:14,560
-Greg's taking over the Nechells' branch.
-For my sins, yeah.
5
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,920
[everybody laughs]
6
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,600
Perhaps I killed in a former life.
7
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:18,520
[Trish giggles]
8
00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:22,120
[Trish] Oh. That's very funny.
[quietly] Is he wearing a wedding ring?
9
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,840
-[Natalie] Oh, I'll have a look.
-[Nigel] Actually, Greg,
10
00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:25,320
you should swap numbers with Trish.
11
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:29,480
I'm twinning job centres. Brownall
and Nechells are going to be "sisters".
12
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:30,560
[everybody laughs]
13
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,720
Well, I've always wanted a sister.
14
00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,760
Hey, could I borrow your jeggings, sis?
I've got a hot date.
15
00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:39,440
[Trish] No you cannot!
I lent you my ra-ra skirt last weekend
16
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,240
and it came back
absolutely covered in stains!
17
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,160
-[Greg and Trish laugh]
-[Greg] That's good.
18
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,240
-[quietly] Well?
-I can't see, he keeps moving his hands.
19
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:52,240
Okay, phones off and on the table,
everyone, please. Margaret, the blinds.
20
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:58,960
So, I don't need to remind you that what
happens in the room, stays in the room.
21
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:00,760
-Did you see it?
-It's too dark.
22
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:04,400
[Nigel] Now we all know job centres
do not have leader boards
23
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,840
for getting people off benefits,
but the job centre
24
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:10,400
at the top of the leader board
for getting people off benefits is...
25
00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:13,960
-Brownall!
-Oh.
26
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:19,520
Oh. Buggeration.
27
00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:20,640
["Work" playing]
28
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,280
[Trish] So, sister from another mister,
29
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,640
-how are you settling in?
-[Greg] Good. Good, yeah.
30
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,320
Just could do with some sisterly advice.
Hope you don't mind me popping in.
31
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,960
Oh no, pop away! Happy to be popped into.
32
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:46,760
Great!
33
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,680
[Trish] I am available and open to you
twenty-four seven.
34
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,600
Married to the job,
not to a person. Well, not anymore.
35
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,480
Are you attached?
36
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,520
Me? Uh, no. No.
37
00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,680
D-I-V-O-R-C-E?
As the song goes. [nervous laugh]
38
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,440
Uh, no. D-E-A-D.
39
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,480
C-A-N-C-E-R?
40
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,320
Uh... C-A-R...
41
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:11,440
A-C-C-I... car accident.
42
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,960
-Oh.
-[Greg] Yeah.
43
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,480
So, Trish, your figures
44
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,280
for getting customers off benefits
are absolutely increds.
45
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:20,760
Oh! Thank you.
46
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,400
[Greg] And there's little old me,
47
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:23,800
languishing at the bottom
of the league table.
48
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,880
It is pretty obvious that I'm the trampy
step-sister in this family.
49
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,720
Yes you are, staying out all night
drinking cider,
50
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,440
getting fingered by Dwayne on his moped.
51
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,400
You'll be pregnant
in a year, missy. [giggles]
52
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:35,480
Or dead.
53
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:43,560
But, um, no seriously, Greg,
it's not all about stats,
54
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:45,360
I hate all this league table stuff.
55
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:49,480
What is that tune you're playing,
because it's music to my ears.
56
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,560
Our work should be about the people.
57
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:54,960
You know, I think...
no, heck no, I passionately believe,
58
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,400
that the happier people are,
the more motivated they'll become.
59
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:02,120
That is exactly
what I passionately believe, too.
60
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,440
If job seekers were happier
and less stressed...
61
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,560
...they'd stand a better chance
of finding a job...
62
00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:09,560
...because job centres
would de-stressify them.
63
00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:12,400
-De-stressify.
-Yes.
64
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,960
God, that's good,
I'm going to write that down.
65
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,600
"De-stressify."
66
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:21,080
You know, gosh Trish,
I wonder if... No, it's crazy.
67
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,760
Oh no, no, no, no.
Greg, go on, I love crazy.
68
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,200
Alrighty then. I wonder if you and I...
69
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:34,480
could made Brownall and Nechells
into relaxed, job seeker-focused...
70
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:36,360
motivation hubs?
71
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:37,800
[exhales heavily]
72
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:42,680
Oh Greg, that is absolutely
not crazy and I still love it.
73
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:44,520
-Really?
-Really.
74
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:47,960
But I've got an Angela.
75
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,120
-Yeah, I know the one.
-She's very efficient,
76
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,000
she gets three times more people
off benefits than anyone else.
77
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:57,760
But she's what a lesser person
would call a sour-faced bitch.
78
00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,720
She'll totally pooh-pooh our plans.
79
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,720
Well, you could get her
out of your hair for a bit?
80
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,600
You know, send her off
to do some peer-to-peer training.
81
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,480
Like palm her off on other job centres?
82
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:09,840
By the time she gets back...
83
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,000
[together] it'll be a brand new Brownall.
84
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,040
-[together] Jinx!
-Oh my God.
85
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:14,360
[together] Jinx again!
86
00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:15,840
You see...
87
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:18,960
Karl...
88
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,360
-[Karl] I don't want you to go.
-[Natalie] What, and I do?
89
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,560
Trish is making me go
on a road trip with Angela.
90
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,760
You never know, you might bond,
like... Thelma and Louise.
91
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:29,960
They killed themselves.
92
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,480
[Angela] Bagsy the front.
93
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,080
Look, aren't these fab?
94
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:40,200
The printers have done such a great job.
Thanks for going, Natalie.
95
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,440
Yeah, she's really looking forward to it.
96
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,640
-Yeah.
-Now, you've got a very busy schedule,
97
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,160
it would appear London
can't wait to meet Angela.
98
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:50,400
[Trish] Bon voyage.
99
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,080
Enjoy London, Angela.
100
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:55,480
I won't. I find Londoners cold and rude.
101
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,560
[Trish] So, quick huddle, Team Brownall.
102
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:06,040
Okay. This is Greg Holder,
manager of Nechells branch.
103
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:07,240
Hi, guys.
104
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,120
And we are starting a revolution.
105
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,520
[Trish] Would you...? With this...
106
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:15,560
as our weapon.
107
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,080
A box?
108
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,000
It's a customer feedback box, Karl.
109
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,080
This is the beginning of a new Brownall.
110
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,960
We are going to de-stressify
job seekers...
111
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:27,120
Love that word.
112
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,240
...by not putting any pressure
on them to find work.
113
00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:33,440
[Greg] They will then write comments
about you guys...
114
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,800
-The "de-stressify-ists".
-Yeah.
115
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:41,440
...on these feedback forms. Now,
think of them like... like mini reviews.
116
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,960
[Trish] And then...
deposit them... in here.
117
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,920
Keep them happy, happy, happy
so they write positive things,
118
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:53,600
and prove that "de-stressification"
is the way forward.
119
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,000
Unless they haven't looked for work?
120
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,600
Even if they haven't looked for work.
121
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,840
We're forgetting all about figures,
and targets and league tables.
122
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,240
-[Greg] Yeah.
-Trish, we won't have anything to do.
123
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,400
And I think that it is an amazing idea.
124
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:08,400
[Greg] Looking for a job is a bit like...
125
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:11,440
looking for love.
126
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,480
It's only when you stop searching
that the perfect one just...
127
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:18,520
well, it falls right into your lap.
128
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,960
[stutters] Greg's right,
129
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,720
relaxed job seekers
will find their own way to work.
130
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:31,600
Genius, the job seekers
will be "de-stressed" not "distressed".
131
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,680
[giggles] De-stressed not distressed,
I love that.
132
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,040
-I feel completely de-stressificated.
-[door opens]
133
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,840
-[Paul] Where do you want these, Trish?
-[Trish] Oh, waiting area.
134
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:46,400
First part of the plan. Relaxing beanbags
instead of uncomfortable chairs.
135
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,320
[Janette] I can't see where I'm going.
136
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,400
That's because you're the size
of a Borrower.
137
00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:51,480
[upbeat rock music]
138
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,520
Do you think nine's enough?
139
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:06,040
You're not nervous, are you Angela?
140
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,720
No. But I'm not doing it.
141
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,840
-Why not?
-I haven't had enough time to prepare.
142
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:17,360
-You are nervous.
-I'm not.
143
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,560
If a job seeker told you
they didn't go to an interview,
144
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,000
because they didn't have enough time
to prepare, would you let them off?
145
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:23,840
-Absolutely not.
-Why?
146
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,960
-Because it's an excuse.
-Exactly...
147
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:32,600
and Angela Bromford
does not accept excuses.
148
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,080
Never, ever pretend to be me.
149
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:41,200
So, if you're not nervous and you don't
accept lack of preparation as an excuse,
150
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:42,960
I should let the audience in.
151
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,040
-Wait!
-Angela, they're waiting.
152
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,320
Tell me I'm special.
153
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:49,520
What?
154
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,640
I need to feel special.
155
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,760
Oh, you are special, Angela.
156
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,800
You are very... very special.
157
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:00,800
Okay.
158
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,680
Hello Brentford.
159
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,120
[chimes]
160
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,840
[beanbag squishing]
161
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,520
-[man grunting]
-[zen flute music]
162
00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,320
-[Trish] Mmm. You look relaxed.
-[job seeker panting]
163
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:17,720
Sticky yum yum?
164
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:18,760
Oh, I shouldn't.
165
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:22,760
[Trish] Just catch your breath
and fill out a customer feedback form.
166
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:27,120
Don't be afraid to use
the word "de-stressified". Okay?
167
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,040
[Karl inhales deeply]
168
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:38,120
[Karl sighs]
169
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:42,360
[applause]
170
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,280
-I think that went well.
-Well? I smashed it.
171
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,880
-Don't know about "smashed it".
-Did you not hear that applause?
172
00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:56,800
My people love me.
173
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,000
Are you not going to stay
and help me pack up?
174
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,160
I'm the talent.
175
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:06,800
[thud]
176
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,200
Are you wearing perfume?
177
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,160
French mint and jasmine blossom.
178
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:19,520
It's Natalie's.
179
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:21,640
I miss her smell.
180
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:25,080
Oh, man up, Karl.
She's only been gone five minutes.
181
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:29,160
I can understand you wearing her knickers,
but her perfume?
182
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:30,880
That's just weird.
183
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,760
-[beeping]
-[Trish] What are you talking about?
184
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,360
What paper jam?
185
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,560
There's no paper there
to be jammed, you idiot.
186
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,960
If you were a person,
I would kill you in your sleep.
187
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,080
[banging and beeping]
188
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,600
-Bad time?
-Oh. [nervous laugh]
189
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:49,440
Greg. Hi. No, no. I'm fine.
190
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,480
I, oh... I bought your,
um, job seekers a gift.
191
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:53,800
Oh...
192
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,160
The gift of de-stressification. [giggles]
193
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:57,840
Shall I...?
194
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:00,680
Oh, uh, yeah, yes that's fine.
195
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,440
[tensely inhales] Oh.
196
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:04,440
Oh. [exhales heavily]
197
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,280
[Greg clears throat]
198
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:10,680
How's that?
199
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:12,960
Sensual?
200
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:16,600
Yeah. Yeah, no, actually, yeah, it's fine.
It's lovely, really relaxing, thanks.
201
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,760
You know, um, my late wife,
Lorna, she, uh, loved these.
202
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,080
-Did she?
-Yeah. Yeah. She used to lie in my lap
203
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,240
-and I'd--
-I didn't know your wife Lorna,
204
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,880
but I imagine that she
would want you to be happy now...
205
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:32,640
and move on.
206
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:36,480
Not forget all about her,
but maybe find a new love.
207
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:39,760
Do you want to do me now?
208
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:42,800
Sorry?
209
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,760
Oh, yeah, yeah of course. Yeah.
210
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,120
-I'm ready.
-Okay, um...
211
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:54,480
-So, we'll just start with a few details.
-Okay, sure that's fine, fire away.
212
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,200
-Okay? Can I have your first name please?
-Eoghan.
213
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,080
-On?
-No, it's Eoghan.
214
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,400
Orn? Sorry, could you spell
that for me, please?
215
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:06,720
-E.
-A?
216
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,240
-No, E.
-E, right, yeah, sorry. E.
217
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,440
O... G.
218
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:16,120
-J?
-No, G, like "George".
219
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,280
-Judge?
-No, "George", like George Best.
220
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,720
-George Best?
-Aye.
221
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,000
-I.
-No... come here.
222
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:29,440
E-O-G-H-A-N. Eoghan.
223
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:30,880
Oh, right.
224
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:34,600
Okay, sorry, that, that's my fault.
225
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:37,800
-And, uh, can I take your surname?
-McGeoghegan.
226
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:40,280
-What?
-Everything all right?
227
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,400
Uh, yeah. I'm just, I'm having some, uh,
228
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,000
communication difficulties
with this gentleman.
229
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,640
For God's sake, I'm speaking English.
230
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,840
Oh, I see what the problem is here.
He is so drunk!
231
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,960
-No, no, Ash--
-No, trust me Karl,
232
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:52,160
I've done the module on this.
233
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:56,320
We can't help you
until you want to help yourself. Okay?
234
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,080
So, I'm going to give you the number
for an alcoholics support group.
235
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:03,080
Yous pair are a disgrace.
This is not the end of this.
236
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,000
God, you could really smell it
on him, couldn't you?
237
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,120
Oh, no.
No, I think that's Natalie's perfume.
238
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:12,360
And he's not drunk Ash, he's just Irish,
with a very strong accent.
239
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,200
Oh my God, I've just been horribly racist.
240
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,600
I'll have your feckin' jobs for this.
241
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:19,880
[funky electronic music]
242
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:24,320
[Angela vocalizing]
243
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,120
Mummy made me mash my mini muffins.
244
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,680
-Mummy made me mash my--
-Oh, for God's sake, Angela,
245
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,640
you must be warmed up by now.
246
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,320
Never interrupt me when I'm in the zone.
247
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:39,760
[funky techno music]
248
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,480
Drink.
249
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:44,480
[knock on the door]
250
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:48,600
[Colin] Morning, Mrs. Bromford. I'm sorry,
they only had plain flavour crisps.
251
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,520
Ask him if he got my rider?
252
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,920
Mrs. Bromford says did you get her rider?
253
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,840
Yes, but these were all I could find.
254
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:04,920
[bag crunches]
255
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:09,080
Get me a cheese
and onion grab bag, or I walk.
256
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,360
[crunching]
257
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:12,400
[heavy breathing]
258
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,600
We're finished. We're absolutely finished.
259
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,720
Uh-huh. He was proper angry.
260
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,360
And insulted and humiliated
and the victim of a racist attack.
261
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,080
-What are we going to do?
-We need to get that complaint back.
262
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,160
[Ash] I could lose my job over this.
263
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,200
I'm still on my three month
probation period, Karl. I--
264
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:33,160
Alright. Well, look, we'll just get
the form back. Just calm down.
265
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,040
I can't, it's too late.
My panic disorder's kicking in.
266
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:39,320
I'm nauseous, my heartbeat's erratic,
I'm absolutely dripping with sweat.
267
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,640
What can I do?
268
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:44,600
I need to breathe, help me relax.
I need to imagine I'm on a beach. This...
269
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,200
-[Ash exhales heavily]
-Alright. Uh...
270
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:50,040
You are... You are on a beach.
271
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,840
-Um, it's a beautiful, sandy beach.
-No, I don't like sand.
272
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:57,560
Okay, uh, it's a beautiful stony beach.
273
00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,960
Uh, the waves
are gently lapping at your feet.
274
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,200
-It's too cold, Karl.
-No, no, no, it's nice.
275
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,520
-Are there jellyfish?
-No, no jellyfish.
276
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,680
-The tide's coming in.
-No, Ash, it's miles out.
277
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,280
No, no, no, no.
It's definitely coming in. I'm cut off!
278
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,840
I can't swim. I'm going under.
279
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,040
I'm drowning, Karl.
280
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:19,120
[hyperventilates] Call the coastguard,
call the coastguard.
281
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:23,720
[printer banging]
282
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:30,800
[beeping]
283
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:36,360
Oh. No, no, no, not now.
Tomorrow's the big day.
284
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,040
Stop telling me there's a paper jam
when you ruddy well know there isn't.
285
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:39,920
[glass breaking]
286
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:43,960
-[suspenseful music]
-[beeping]
287
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,040
[Trish] Shhh!
288
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:54,360
Come on Trish, be brave, stay calm,
blend with the shadows.
289
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,160
-[clang]
-[intruder groans]
290
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,920
Not tonight, thank you.
This job centre's closed.
291
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,760
[Ash] Wait, wait! Trish, it's us.
292
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:11,760
-What?
-[Ash] It's us!
293
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,680
[Karl panting]
294
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,440
[Karl mumbles]
295
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,320
Oh, bearded Jesus! Karl! I'm so sorry.
I've brain damaged him.
296
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,200
I've destroyed his beautiful mind.
297
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:22,200
[Karl grunts]
298
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,360
Hang on, what are you doing here?
299
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:28,960
We're having an affair.
300
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:34,440
No, we're not.
Ash, just tell her the truth.
301
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,720
We were racist to a man,
he put a complaint in the feedback box.
302
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:39,960
-We're just trying to get it back.
-Please don't sack me.
303
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,080
Well, we're going to have
to get it back out.
304
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,240
[box rattling]
305
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,560
Right, let's find this complaint,
shall we?
306
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:51,320
"The new beanbags are so comfy,
307
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,480
I fell asleep
and missed my signing-on time.
308
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:56,440
The advisor didn't even care! Brilliant!"
Oh good God.
309
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,800
[Ash] "Love not being pressured
to get a job.
310
00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:59,320
I'm going to stay unemployed forever."
311
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,280
"The psychologist
kept looking down my top."
312
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:02,200
Oh, I'll take that.
313
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:04,040
No, no, no! They're missing the point.
314
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:08,440
The job seekers are meant to be happy
and de-stressed so they want to get a job.
315
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:10,320
Yeah, none of them are saying that.
316
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,040
Well, I can't let Greg see these!
We need to get rid of these forms. Um...
317
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,640
No, we could say there's been a break-in.
318
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,600
Well, there was a break-in. We broke in.
319
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,280
[Trish] Yeah. When Greg comes in tomorrow,
we'll say that the forms
320
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,960
were stolen in a robbery.
321
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,680
Good idea, great idea.
322
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:24,960
It needs to look realistic.
323
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,360
Well, intruders don't just take stuff,
they destroy stuff. It's what they do.
324
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,120
Yeah, they'd kick over
that welcome desk for a start.
325
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,040
Oh! [laughs crazily]
326
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,480
[yells] That felt amazing!
327
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,320
[stifled reaction] Come on...
328
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,440
[panting] let's trash this mother!
329
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:45,440
[intense rock music]
330
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,080
I have made a mess.
331
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,440
-[beeping]
-How do you like that? Huh?
332
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:59,080
You still got a paper jam? Oh, you have?
333
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,680
Oh, let me help you with that.
334
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:11,200
[Karl] You know what, actually, we could
have just written new feedback forms.
335
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,039
Oh, yeah.
336
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,760
[Trish] Yes. That, uh...
that would have been the better option.
337
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:27,960
[Paul] Trish, have you seen this?
338
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:31,000
Oh no, uh, we must have been broken into.
339
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,920
[Janette] The dirty scumbags.
340
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,080
Um, shall I fetch you the hoover?
341
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,640
We need this cleared up
before the managers' meeting.
342
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,480
Oh no, we must have been broken into.
343
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,360
-I'll call the police.
-We don't need to call the police, Paul.
344
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,920
It's only a ruddy photocopier
and some beanbag balls.
345
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,280
[Karl] Oh no,
we must have been broken into.
346
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,400
What's happened to you?
347
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,720
Huh? Oh, I walked into a door.
348
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,760
-What the hell...?
-We've been broken into.
349
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,520
The little bastards.
350
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,640
Come on, Natalie, we've got a very
important managers' meeting to set up.
351
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,080
Follow me, please.
352
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,600
-I'm so glad you're back.
-Oh! What happened to your face?
353
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:09,680
[Karl grunts]
354
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,080
Are you wearing my perfume?
355
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:12,920
And your knickers.
356
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,240
[Natalie laughs]
357
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,160
How was London, Angela?
358
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:19,360
There is a human poo under my desk.
359
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:21,200
[mellow synth beat]
360
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,040
It's what they do.
361
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,560
[Nigel] So, we come once again
362
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,520
to our off-flow league table
that absolutely does not exist.
363
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,880
Phones on the table,
Margaret, the blinds...
364
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,040
Actually, Nigel, I'd like to,
um, say a few words.
365
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,760
-Can't it wait?
-[Trish] No, Nigel, this can't wait.
366
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:57,680
Every second that goes by,
a job seeker loses hope.
367
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:03,720
Imagine that.
368
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:09,680
Every time I click my fingers,
one of our job seekers just loses hope.
369
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:12,360
Poof!
370
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,120
But what if it didn't
have to be like that?
371
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,280
-What if there was another way? A New Way.
-Trish, we don't have time for this.
372
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:22,280
To get a job,
you need to be happy and confident,
373
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,840
but we're not going to inspire confidence
in our job seekers
374
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,600
by treating them like cattle.
375
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,160
Natalie, hand out the manifesto, please.
376
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,280
This is the New Way.
377
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:37,080
The way of de-stressification:
hot drinks for everyone, soothing music.
378
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,840
-[Tina] Comfy seating.
-Yes!
379
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,080
Greg and I have beanbags
instead of chairs.
380
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:44,320
No, he hasn't.
381
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:47,440
No.
382
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,280
I've taken all the seats out of my centre.
383
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,600
So the job seekers have to stand,
keeps them on their toes.
384
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,120
[Nigel] And he keeps the doors open,
it's freezing.
385
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:01,440
Nobody likes being in my job centre...
386
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:03,840
which is exactly how it should be.
387
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,840
It's all about numbers, Trish,
and yours have nose-dived.
388
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,800
Whereas Greg's hardcore approach
means he's got the top spot
389
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,840
in his first month in post.
Great work, Greg.
390
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,120
Thank you.
391
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,960
[Nigel] You've gone from top
to bottom, Trish, what happened?
392
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:20,360
Um...
393
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:23,520
Sorry, Nigel...
394
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,280
I was briefly radicalised.
395
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:29,840
[clicking]
396
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,400
[Greg] Every time I click my fingers,
397
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,760
another job centre
plummets down the league table.
398
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,480
You, sir, are a massive shit.
399
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,760
Aw, don't be like that... "sis".
400
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,040
You wanted Angela out of the way
so my numbers would drop.
401
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,360
Correct.
402
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:52,280
Can't believe you fell for it.
You were easy to get onboard.
403
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:54,720
I had to have sex
with Denise from Kingstanding.
404
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,120
Are we going to get
our "de-stressify" tattoos finished, Greg?
405
00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,920
Jog on Tina, it's not even a word.
406
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:03,800
You played us like cheap fiddles.
407
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,160
My very own lady orchestra.
408
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,760
I'd still be happy
to pluck your strings though, Trish.
409
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:17,120
No, Greg, you groomed me
and that is not attractive. Leave, please.
410
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,000
[Trish sighs]
411
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,600
[Trish] Can we go for drinks?
I need to get ginned.
412
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,960
[Karl] Actually, Trish,
I just want to go home.
413
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,480
I feel like my head
has been hit with a bin.
414
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,640
Well, a drink might help.
415
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,720
Actually, Trish,
we haven't seen each other in a week.
416
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:36,680
Fine, fine, it's fine.
Go home and do intercourse.
417
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,440
I've got nine luxury beanbags
to return, anyway.
418
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:46,120
-Can I have another yum yum?
-No, you cannot! Get a job.
419
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,040
["Work" playing]
32774
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.