All language subtitles for Bring.The.Funny.S01E04_English

� This is it.

The final night
of our Open Mic round.

♪ ♪

� I am ready
to bring the funny.

♪ ♪

� I don't like my kids.
[laughter]

� ♪ With my friends and me ♪

� [screams]

[dramatic music]

[both vocalizing]

♪ ♪

� Oh, my God, don't ever
make that face ever again.

[upbeat pop music]

� Please welcome your emcee,

Amanda Seales!

[cheers and applause]

� Welcome to
"Bring the Funny!"

[cheers and applause]

This is it.

The final night
of our Open Mic round.

� Whoo!

� Some of the most hilarious
acts in the world

will be hitting this stage,

competing for a place
in the next round.

But what happens
in the next round, Amanda?

I'll tell you what happens
in the next round.

Our acts start going
head�to�head

in our Comedy Clash.

[laughter]

Exactly like that.
[all laughing]

But before we show you
the funny,

let's meet three people
who never clash: our judges.

Give it up
for Jeff Foxworthy,

Chrissy Teigen,

and Kenan Thompson!

[no audible dialogue]

[cheers and applause]

I know you at home
are ready for the funny,

so let's get this show started!

� Oh yeah!
� [cheering]

� Our first act is doing it
for all the moms in the house.

[upbeat music]

� I'm here.
I'm about to bring the funny.

I hope you guys are ready,
'cause I'm ready.

To my mom and dad,
I hope you guys are watching.

� This is Tacarra Williams.

[cheers and applause]

Kill 'em, girl.

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

� Here we go, boys.

� Um...

I don't like my kids.

[laughter]

I got teenagers.

My oldest is 18.

Yeah, a 18�year�old boy.
His name is Chase.

I didn't realize how much
him dating was gonna cost me.

[laughter]

Then I got
a 14�year�old daughter.

Her name is Casey.
You know what?

I ain't never gonna fight
nobody in my life.

[laughter]

Like, when I tell you,
I Google the jail time.

Like, I'm ready to go.
I'm sick and tired.

[laughter]

And then, on top of all that,
I got a five�year�old.

Yeah, look at y'all, like,

"Well, how��
why would you do that?"

'Cause I ain't from here.

I was born in Belize,
raised in New York.

I moved here seven years ago.

I was married at the time.

Everybody's like,
'Y'all should go to Vegas!

"What happens in Vegas,
it stays in Vegas."

No, it don't.

What happens in Vegas
turned five in February,

that's what happened in Vegas.

Stop��stop telling people that.

You're lying to us.

[cheers and applause]

And people think that
when you get��have kids

and they're older, it's easier.

It's not.

My son��this is a true story��
last week literally fell.

Got dizzy, broke his jaw.

I take him
to the emergency room.

The doctor talking to me.

He say, "Hey, listen,
I wanna let you know, uh,

he broke his jaw
in three places."

I said, "Oh, no."

He said, "We gonna have
to wire it shut."

I said, "Oh, no.

"Yes.

Yes."

Tired of hearing his mouth.

I said, "Well,

what's the healing process
gonna look like?"

He said, "He's gonna be
on a liquid diet

for four to six weeks."

And I said, "Well��well,
what happens after that?"

He said,
"He's gonna lose some weight."

I said, "Well, how much weight
we talking here?"

Uh, he said, "Let's just say

he'll be ready for the summer."

[laughter]

I'm like, "Hey, man, uh,
how I get in on this?"

You feel me?

Like how do I, uh��
like, do I pay for his jaw

and you��you wire mine
for free?

Like, I'm trying
to get a summer body too.

� [laughing]
� Thank you so much.

My name is Tacarra Williams.
[laughs]

� ♪ I do my hair toss,
check my nails ♪

Baby, how you feeling?
� ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪

� Yes, yes!
� [inaudible]

[cheers and applause]

� All right,
now that was strong.

That was strong.

Kenan, your thoughts?

� Thank you.

� Yes.

� Thank you so much.
� Yes!

� You just blew the roof up.
� Thank you.

� I was thoroughly excited
to see that

our first person up today
be super�duper funny.

� Aww, thank you.
� You had big punches.

You got to three
big room reactions,

so, yeah, that's what got me up
out of my seat.

So, man, you killed that.
� Thank you.

� Killed that.

[cheers and applause]

� The laughs and the clapping
spoke for itself.

Mom humor��I think there's
something about it

where we all think it, right?

We're all feeling this way
but we can't say it,

and you say it for us.

I mean, that's where
that laughter comes from,

is I feel that same way too,

and everybody wants to say it.

I thought you did
a fantastic job.

You are big standout for me.
� Oh.

� Um, I love you.
� [laughing]

� I think you're fantastic.
� I love you, too!

[laughing]

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

� Mr. Jeff Foxworthy?

� You did a beautiful job,
to the point that I'm thinking,

"Yeah, you could listen
to an hour of this."

And that was
a terrific performance.

� Thank you.

� Tacarra, would you
be offended if I come hug you?

� Oh, wow!
� [stammers, laughs]

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat music]

� Thank you so much.
� You killed it, girl.

� Oh, thank you.
Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

� Killed it,
killed it, killed it!

� Thank you so much.

� One more time
for Tacarra Williams!

� Thank you guys so much.

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

� She has a lot of appeal
because women root for her...

� Yeah.

� As a man,
I'm rooting for her.

� Oh, my God.

Kenan Thompson
stood up for me,

Chrissy Teigen
said she loved me,

and Jeff Foxworthy got up
and came and gave me a hug,

You know...

� ♪ Dah�dah�doo�dah ♪

� I am from Alabama,
and I'm dumb.

Don't put them together.
I'm dumb regardless.

Don't blame Alabama.
� [laughing]

� Comedy comes in all different
shapes and sizes.

You guys did
a terrific job with it.

� [hollers]

all: We're the mole people
living under your bed.

♪ ♪

[whoopee cushion farts]

[laughter]

♪ ♪

.

[cheers and applause]

� Welcome back
to "Bring the Funny"!

� Oh�oh!
� Whoo!

� Are y'all ready
for some more funny?

audience: Yeah!

� Are y'all ready
for some more funny?

[cheers and applause]

Okay, that was better.
That was better.

� That's not an easy job.
She's doing a great job.

� Let's say hello
to our next act.

[upbeat music]

� We're about to go onstage
and it's very terrifying.

We're very scared.
� But also excited.

� But it's also very exciting.

This is the moment that
we've all been waiting for.

A chance to show America...
� Yeah.

� What we're made of.
� Yeah, we got this.

all: One, two, three.
The Valleyfolk!

♪ ♪

� Can I have this?

[cheers and applause]

[whimsical, childish music
playing over speakers]

♪ ♪

� [childish, high voice]
Hey, Dad?

There's monsters under my bed!

Oh, well, I guess I'm just
gonna have to be brave.

[all cackling]

all: [chanting]
Mole people, mole people,

mole people, mole people!

We're the mole people
living under your bed.

We're your worst nightmare
and we'll scare you to death!

� I'm Mole Number One,
and I'll rip out your eye.

� I'm Mole Number Two,
and I'll feast on your spine.

� I'm Mole Number Three, and
I'm a climate change denier!

[all vocalizing]

� Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, stop, stop, stop.

Terry...

What the heck was that?

� Well, we're trying
to scare this kid, right?

That's the scariest thing
I could think of!

� [laughs]
� It's not scary, man.

� What, climate change?

It's the single greatest threat
to the planet!

� Hey, kid, were you scared?

� No.

� Aww, dang it!

� All right, Terry, man, hey,

don't be too hard
on yourself, okay?

Just, uh, make it a little bit
more personal, you know?

Give her a real scare.

� Yeah, I could do that.
� Great.

Uh, from the top?
� From the top.

all: One, two, three!
� [laughing]

� I'm Mole Number One,
and I'll eat all your skins.

� I'm Mole Number Two,
and I'll break both your shins.

� I'm Mole Number Three,

and you have
early�onset Alzheimer's.

� Whoa, no, what?
� [hollering]

� No, no, no!
� [laughing]

� No, no, no!

No!

Terry!

That's not scary, man!

� Losing all of your memories
slowly with age?

It's terrifying!

� It's really more
just sad, man.

� Look, dude, you gotta
get it together, man.

You know what,
we got one shot at this.

One shot.
Both: Mole.

[both repeating]
Mole, mole, mole, mole.

� Hey, hey!

Hey!

Can I give you some advice?

What really scares me is death.

Like, if I thought
I was gonna die right now,

I'd be real scared.

[laughter]

� Thanks, kid.

� You got this, Terry.
� Yeah!

I can do it, guys!
all: One, two, three!

� I'm Mole Number One,
and I'll eat you alive.

� I'm Mole Number Two,
and I'll laugh as you die.

� I'm Mole Number Three,
and this could be you!

� [shrieking]

[all shrieking]

[laughter]

[screaming continues]

� [laughing]

[crackling slows, stops]

� [hollers]

[laughter]

� Oh, my God.

Terry!

Nice!

� Whoo!

� Nice!
� Good job!

I��I was terrified.

[laughter]
[pounding on door]

� I said go to bed, Mickey!

� Oh, you guys better go.
That's my dad.

He's a raging alcoholic.
� Okay, that's scary.

� Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh, good luck, kid.

Break the cycle.
� Yeah.

both: [chanting]
Mole people, mole people,

Mole people, mole people.

� [grunting]
[both grunting, babbling]

[cheers and applause]

� Whoo!

� They committed
to that crazy so good.

� [laughs]

� All right.

� Does that hurt your voice
to do that?

� No, not at all.
� Wow.

� Yeah.
� Wow.

� And I swear to God,
that was my hairdo, like,

in the senior year
of high school.

� We did our research, so...

� Yeah, I had a Camaro
and that hair and��

Jeff, where do you come up
with those redneck jokes?

� [laughs]

� I loved it.
I loved that.

I mean, I��
that was so imaginative,

and you gave us, like,
one of the greatest escapes

we've had so far
in this competition.

You sucked us
into a world, like��

whether you wanted to go
or not,

we were in that little bedroom
with you mole people.

One thing I was thinking
the entire time

was that if they don't crawl
back up under that bed

at the end of this thing
I'll be so pissed,

because that's, like, the kind
of commitment you want.

You want
to close that scene out

with all of the, like,
same reality

that you presented
the entire time,

so the fact that y'all went
back up under the bed,

for me, just��
it killed it for me.

So you guys��great job.

Yeah, man.

� Very good response
from the sketch master.

Chrissy?
� Kenan is totally right.

If you guys had just been
still out from under the bed

and just got up
and took a bow or something,

that would have
kind of ruined it for me.

� Yeah, yeah, yeah.

� But it really did make it
that you guys went back under,

so that's amazing.

I wanna see sketch comedy where
I'm seeing people come out

that I want to watch forever
and ever and ever.

Thought you did
a wonderful job.

Loved it.

[cheers and applause]

� Jeff, close us out.

What are your thoughts
on the mole people?

� Jeff hated it.
[both laugh]

� Jeff didn't��
no, Jeff did not hate it.

Guys, that was great.

I want somebody
to take control.

I want somebody to suck me in

and��and make forget
that I'm sitting here

and just take me
into your world,

and immediately,
you set the pace

of what this was going to be,

and you guys
did a fabulous job.

� Absolutely.
� Terrific job.

� One more time
for The Valleyfolk!

[cheers and applause]

both: Mole, mole, mole, mole.

[cheers and applause]

� Okay.
� Guys, I think they liked us!

[laughs]
� I don't normally cry.

I almost passed out.

� What were their names?

� I just wrote "mole people."
[laughs]

� I'm Mole Number One.
� [laughing]

♪ ♪

.

� All right,
clean up right now.

� Oh, I love grey.
� Thank you.

� I really do.
Like, I��I begged my mom��

� You're not even gray, though.

� Yeah, you're a silver fox.

[both laugh]

� I think that he looks like
he could be your dad.

� I wish he was.
� Right? Look at him.

� Well, Kenan's barber
said to me this morning��

I walked up
and I introduced myself

and he said, "Do you do Santa?"

And I said, "Yeah, I do��
I do Santa."

� Oh, I love that.
� [laughing]

Just started a few decades ago.

� Let's get back to the funny.

� Yeah.

� Let's say hello
to our next act.

[cheers and applause]

I could tell you
that this comedian

is from the south,

but the fact that his name
is Rocky Dale Davis

kind of gives it away.

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat rock music]

� My name is Rocky Dale Davis.

I am from Brookwood, Alabama.

♪ ♪

Growing up in a trailer park
makes me, in my opinion, unique

and not like most comics.

I wanted to always be, like,
a performer of some sort.

Went to an open mic.

I was like, "I can do that."

Performing in front
of Jeff Foxworthy,

it's just wild.

Here's how it works
in the south:

It goes God, Jeff Foxworthy,

Jesus, and Dick Simon, okay?

That's our ranking pool
right there,

and that's how it stays, okay?
[laughs]

� This is
Rocky Dale Davis, y'all.

� Thanks, baby.

Yeah!

How are we doing,
Los Angeles, California?

� Whoo!
� Let's go!

My name is, uh,
Rocky Dale Davis.

I am from Alabama.
Uh, yeah, yeah.

Thank you all
for the loud applause on that.

[laughs]
Y'all are like,

"I wish we'd have known that
before we got here."

Uh, it's weird.

[stammers]
So, like, I'm dumb.

I'll tell you that first off,
you know.

Uh, I don't want��
don't put them together.

I'm not, you know, dumb
because I'm from Alabama.

I'm dumb regardless.
Don't blame Alabama, you know?

� [laughing]

� I have a very��
very white trash family too.

Like, super,
super white trash, you know?

'Cause there's levels
of white trash.

Like, you ever watch, like,
"Cops" or "Honey�Boo�Boo"?

And you're watching at home
like, "That can't be real."

I'm here to tell you,
it is very, very real.

[laughter]

My family's dumb, too.

Like, I used to live
in New York,

and they'd be like, "Oh,
living up in New York City now.

Getting all Hollywood on us."

[laughter]

I see a couple people
with blank faces on that one.

Uh, we must be related.

[laughter]

I also love people
talking about politics.

You know, I can tell when
my friends in New York and LA

haven't been to the south
'cause they'll be like,

"Donald Trump is the most
racist person I know."

And I'm like, "You need to meet
more racist people, then."

� [laughing]

� Look, I'm not saying
he's not racist, okay?

I'm just saying
he's not in the top, like, 50

on my moms' side
of the family.

Like...
[both laughing]

If we had a fantasy league
of racism,

eighth round pick at best,

and I'm trading him
for a kicker, okay?

Guys, y'all were amazing.
Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Yeah.
� Whoo!

[cheers and applause]

� Good job.

[cheers and applause]

� My man Rocky.
� Yes, ma'am.

� Kenan?

� How big do your testes
have to be

to be white
and talk about racism onstage?

Man, how��
you know what I'm saying?

I mean, the way
that you went about it

and got laughs from it, like,
that is so bold

and it's like, that's what
makes great stand�ups,

in my opinion.

[cheers and applause]

On the other hand,
when comedians laugh

at their own jokes
over and over and over again,

it's kind of a distraction.

Maybe, like, you're trying
to tell us, like,

"That was funny,
what I just said."

You know what I'm saying?

And it's like, we can decide,
you know what I'm saying?

Like, we, you know��
we enjoy a set�up

and a punchline
like anybody else, so��

� Laugh with them...
� Yeah.

� Not for them.
� I know, I'm sorry.

� I'm going to disagree, I��
though I love you to death,

but I like it.

I think you genuinely were,
like, cracking yourself up

a little bit, and I like that.

When Dave Chappelle does it��
when he just gets down

and he knocks that mic
on his knee��

it really does make you
laugh harder, in a way.

Um, the "Trump is racist" joke
is so easy.

Um...
� Oh, snap.

[both laughing]
I'm still blocked.

He won't hear this,
don't worry.

But...
[both laughing]

You did it in a way that
related it back to your family

and I��I loved it.

I thought it was very funny.

� Jeff.

� Here's the thing
that I love��

and when people talk to me
about wanting to be a comedian,

I said,
"Stay true to yourself.

Talk about the things
you know about."

You did that.

It's like when I used to do the
"you might be a redneck" jokes.

People say, "How do you
come up with those?

I'm like,
"There's no research going on.

It's my family."

You know, it's...
� [laughs]

� As far as their notes,

I'm gonna split the difference
with you.

Don't laugh
after the punchline.

Laugh between the jokes.
� Okay.

� Does that make sense?
� Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

� And I love the fact that
you took on a tough subject

and you handled it in a way...

� Yeah.

� That kind of
defused everybody.

And because this whole country
now is so politically divided,

laughter's the only place

that��that we deflate
that tension.

� Yes, sir.

� And you did a good job
with that.

Great job, Rocky.
� Yeah, thank you so much.

� Make some noise
for Rocky Dale Davis!

� Thank you, guys.
Thank y'all.

� Good job!

[cheers and applause]

� Oh, my gosh.

� I love that angle
of it, though.

"He ain't racist.

Hell, I got eight people
on my mother's side."

� [laughs]
I popped a button.

[laughing]

That was one of the most
amazing experiences

I've ever had
in my entire life.

� I wonder how his family
is gonna take it?

[laughing]
� Right?

They're looking at it like,
"We racist?

Are we racist?"
� [laughing]

.

� This show
is about being funny.

This is a show about
making everybody laugh,

from 19�year�olds
to 70�year�olds.

And the greats can do it.
� True.

� They can cover them all.

� Oh, yeah.
� Check in, guys.

How we feeling?
� We're feeling great.

� Do we��do we look
like we're, you know,

professional enough in these?

� Do we look like we're wearing
the exact same outfit?

� We look like
we're three best friends.

all: Yeah.

� This group consists
of three friends

who work
in perfect harmony together.

Their videos
have a combined total

of over 25 million views
on YouTube,

and tonight they're making
their TV debut.

This is Lewburger.

� Okay.

[cheers and applause]

all: ♪ I'm taking a break ♪

♪ From using Facebook ♪

♪ And I've chosen
to tell you here ♪

♪ Upon my Facebook ♪

� [laughing]

both
♪ The world needs to see ♪

♪ What a big deal
this can be ♪

all: ♪ 'Cause we all spend
so much time here ♪

♪ On the web ♪

♪ While I'm away ♪

♪ I know I'll become better
as I grow ♪

♪ Than all of you ♪

♪ We're better than you ♪

� [laughing] It is,
that is what it's saying.

both: We're better than you.

[laughter]

� Hello, my friends.

I'm back to using Facebook.

[laughter]

� [vocalizes]
♪ I almost forgot ♪

♪ How to use a Facebook ♪

� [laughing]

� ♪ But I'm here to tell you ♪

♪ There is life
outside of Facebook ♪

� ♪ You can all learn
so much more about yourselves ♪

♪ Off of Facebook ♪

[cheers and applause]

� [laughing]

all: ♪ I'm so much more
enlightened ♪

♪ Since I've given it a break ♪

♪ I don't care
what other people say ♪

♪ I am not being fake ♪

� [laughing]

all: ♪ The praise
that I'm expecting ♪

♪ Should come in
like flowing showers ♪

♪ I can't believe
I managed it ♪

♪ For a whole six hours ♪

♪ Also, I should let you know ♪

♪ That if you're seeing
this post ♪

♪ Congrats, you made it ♪

♪ I just purged
600 friends ♪

♪ From Facebook ♪

� Yeah!

[cheers and applause]

� That was me.

[cheers and applause]

� ♪ Look so good ♪
� ♪ Hey ♪

� I love this look.

I love this Jheri curl.
� Thank you.

� I love it all.
� [laughing]

� Chrissy?

� I'm not on Facebook,

but Twitter, I��I've done it
a million times.

I'm never off of it.

Constantly scrolling
to see if people are like,

"Where are you?"
[laughs]

It's, uh��it's a sad existence.

But it had the crowd going
like crazy

'cause you appeal
to a very broad audience.

My mom would love
listening to you, me.

I would let my daughter
listen to you.

I loved it.
� Thank you.

� Jeff?

� I had no idea
what to expect

as we're looking at the shadows

and there's three
silhouettes there

and she starts singing
"Bohemian Rhapsody" in my ear.

So comedy comes in
all different shapes and sizes.

You guys did
a terrific job with it.

� True.

Very true.

� Kenan, how do you feel
about��not "Good Burger"

but Lewberger?

� [laughing]

� Nice, nice.

I'm sorry,
what's your name, sir?

� I'm Keith.
� Keith.

When you took the moment

and got that applause
from everybody,

that showed your commitment.

He's showing fools
that he's dope,

you know what I'm saying?

So continue to find moments
like that throughout.

I��I think it can only help.
� Thank you.

� Yeah.
� It's a dope debut.

� One more time for Lewberger!

[cheers and applause]

� ♪ Hey, get something good ♪

♪ Hey, get something good ♪

� You may be the first guy

to ever call Keith "dope"
in his life.

� Yeah, right?

He's never been
called dope ever.

Like, "I'm dope."

[upbeat pop music]

� They loved everything.
� It felt pretty good.

It felt pretty good.
� Let's see what happens.

� It's exciting
to talk to them in person.

� Yes, very cool.

� Across a big separation,
but they're there.

� The standards are raising
as we go.

� They really are.

� Should we be tougher
on people?

� Yeah.
Boo!

� I am ready
to bring the funny.

� This is Becca Brown.

� ♪ So you tell him
you're a lesbian ♪

♪ He says you haven't found
the right man ♪

♪ You tell him
you're a virgin ♪

♪ He says, I'll be your first
so we both win ♪

♪ 'Cause no means no means no,
so just move on! ♪

[playing jaunty tune]

� I'm done that we're still
having this conversation.

No means no.

� You have to understand
the words.

Always have that in your��
"I've really gotta enunciate."

Because singing is not
as clear always.

But really good job.

� Right on, Becca.

[cheers and applause]

� Please welcome Graham Kay.

� ♪ Rock and roll ♪

� Should, uh, probably address
the elephant in the room.

Um, I'm Canadian.

[laughter]

I actually once broke
both of my arms

at the exact same time.

The doctor put on my slings
and I was like,

"How long is it
that you have to date somebody

before you can ask them
to wipe your butt?"

[laughter]

� I wish you had more
of a flow with it,

because I don't want
to be won over

halfway through, really.

I��I want you to get me
right at the beginning.

� You can tell
that you're pissed

about having to come out here
with a broken foot.

I felt like since
you were just getting

mediocre reactions anyway,
you might as well

just throw
your material out there

and let the people that are
enjoying it enjoy it.

[cheers and applause]

He's so mad.

[cheers and applause]

I know, you're scared.
You're scared of him.

� Sometimes it, uh, goes well
and sometimes it goes okay.

And it went okay,
and it is what it is.

� My ears are burning.

Every time I have
to say something negative

my ears get, like, roasty hot.

� [laughs]
� Does that not happen to you?

� No.

� All six spots right here.

Six plus six, six spots.

� This is Leclerc Andre.

� Very happy to announce
that I just recently graduated

from swimming school.

My boy's like,
"Aren't you embarrassed

to be a grown man
in a swimming class?"

I'm like, "No.

"What's embarrassing
is being rescued

by a 12�year�old
named Hannah."

� You're such a likeable guy,
which is so key with stand�up.

Here's the one thing
I would encourage you to do:

look at people.

Make that connection.

� Kenan?
� Maybe use the stage.

You know what I mean?

Somebody asked Chris Rock,
why does he walk so much?

He's like,
"Because it makes the audience

pay attention to you."

� Yeah.

� Make us watch you
a little bit.

� Mm.

� One more time
for Leclerc Andre!

� Bye�bye!
Good job!

� Guys, I really think
we're getting so good at this.

[laughing]

� You guys, we are nailing it
so frickin' hard.

� We're killing it.

� We are getting so good
at this.

� ♪ You're gonna
say my name tonight ♪

.

[funky bass music]

� I get nervous, like,
when I have a stand�up gig

I know it's coming up
in a couple weeks.

Especially that day?

I can't��it's like
I can't even eat.

� A little bit nervous is good.
I mean, it is.

� I get a little bit nervous.
� Yeah.

� I'm in my head.
� No, don't be in your head.

� How do I say hi?
Hi.

both: Hi.

� Let's say hello
to our next act.

This performer is trying
to get her head around life,

love, and how to get laughs.

Aren't we all?

This is Erica Rhodes.

� Hi, I'm Erica Rhodes.

I'm a stand�up comic

and, uh, I have pretty much
zero life skills.

Cooking...

[pancakes hissing]

Nope.

Cleaning.
Whoa!

Not for me.

Opening mail
is a struggle for me.

Making a phone call.
Parking tickets.

You tried putting on shoes?
It can be complicated.

Leaving the house.

Comedy makes sense to me

because all the things
you failed at in life

are celebrated in comedy.

Good morning, Fred.

I mean, everybody says that
stand�up comedy is very hard,

but when they say that to me
I'm like,

"Well, have you tried
everything else?"

You're fine.

[cheers and applause]

� Give it up for Erica Rhodes!

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat country music]

� Hi.
� Hi.

� This is my voice.

It's real.
� [chuckles]

� Somebody actually asked me
the other day��they were like,

"Is that your real voice?"

I was like,
"No, I got a voice lift."

Very expensive procedure,
but worth it

to annoy people
for the rest of my life.

Thank you.

I once had
an acting teacher tell me,

"If you don't fix your voice,

you're never gonna have
a career."

And so far, he's right, so...

But my dreams are getting
so much more obtainable now.

It's good.
It's a good thing, you know?

My expectations
are just plummeting.

Like, when I was younger
I used to be like,

"When I make it, I'm gonna have
a beautiful house in Malibu.

"I'll wake up every morning,
I'll go out,

and just look
at my gorgeous ocean view."

And now I'm like,
"When I make it...

I'm gonna get a headboard."

[laughter]

You know, I'll wake up
in the morning, I'll be like,

"I'm a grown�up now!

I did it!"

And then I'll go back to bed
'cause I have nowhere to be.

[laughter]

Thanks, I'm Erica Rhodes.

[peppy pop music]

[woman singing indistinctly]

� I thought you did
a wonderful, wonderful job

because what you do
is you stay in your own self

and you just tell great jokes.

So kudos to you for that.
Absolutely.

� I appreciate that, thanks.

� I didn't know
if you were nervous or��

I think part
of your personality

is just, like,
a little more meek.

� Yeah,
I'm definitely neurotic.

� [laughing]

� One of the hardest things

is for people
to understand your persona.

But immediately,
I knew who you were.

Terrific performance.
Loved it.

� Oh, thank you.
Thanks.

� You're welcome.

� Give it up for Erica Rhodes!

� I can't tell if she's nervous
or if that's just her.

� It could be both,

but I think it might be a lot
of just her.

� Our next act proves
that silence is still golden.

[upbeat jazzy music]

[button clicks]

� I'm Chris...
� And Paul.

� And we're really excited.
We're about to go onstage.

� And I'm hungry.

� He's hungry
and, uh, I'm excited.

We're gonna have some fun.

� And I'm��I'm excited
and I wanna have some fun too.

� That's great, okay.
That's enough of the talking.

� We're gonna have��
� That's enough of the talking.

� This is
The Chris & Paul show.

[cheers and applause]

� [shushing]

[cheers and applause]

[shushing continues]

[curious music]

[whispering]
Stop that.

Stop, stop, stop.

♪ ♪

Shh.
� [laughs]

� [whispering]
Shut up.

Please, I'm sorry.
I love you, but stop.

� [laughing]

♪ ♪

[laughter]

� [laughs]

[laughter]

� [laughs]
� Stop, please.

Please, stop.
� [giggling]

� So good.

He has the place, like,
totally controlled.

[laughs]

[laughter]
� [shushes]

� [laughing]
� Shh!

[laughter]

[whispering]
Stop.

[both laughing]

[whispering]
Stop, stop.

[both laughing]

� Stacey died
in a car accident.

[laughter]

[sobbing]
� Oh.

Oh!

Oh.
� [sobbing]

� Oh.

[laughter]

Oh.
[both groaning]

Okay.
� [sobbing]

� Okay.

Uh��ah!
� What are you doing?

� I'm just so upset!

[both gasping]

� Uh, okay.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

� [sobbing]

� [hollers]

� [groans]

� [hollers]
Okay.

� [sobbing]

� Okay.

� [whimpering]

� Hey, hey.

� [stammering]
� Okay.

I'm gonna get you
some water, okay?

I need you to stay right here.

Okay?
� Okay.

� Okay.

� Oh, I just talked to her
this morning!

� Paul��
� You know you��

[whoopee cushion farts]

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

[laughter]

[sobbing]

[laughter]

[cell phone ringing]

� Hey, I can't talk.

[laughter]

Yeah, it worked.

[laughter]

No, he is not.

� [sobs]

� I really can't talk,
I can't��

Stacy died.

[laughter]

Stacy die��I'm just gonna
take this in the other room.

� [sobbing]

� Yeah, yeah!

[cheers and applause]

� Thank you!

[cheers and applause]

� Kenan, your thoughts?

� I mean, from second one

when you were coming
around here shushing every��

that was such a brilliant way

to command
everybody's attention

but also tell them what to do
in a funny way

at the same time.

So I started laughing
immediately

because there's nothing better

than those, like,
laughs at church

or somewhere you're not
supposed to be laughing.

And it was super funny.

It was like��not like anything
I'd ever seen before.

I could tell you guys
are probably involved

in a sketch troupe or something

or have, you know,
improv experience or whatever,

but this was a seasoned bit

that, you know, was just
well thought out, so bravo.

Yeah, yeah.

� How long have you guys
been working together?

� We've been working together
for about 20 years now,

so, yeah.

� Oh, wow, so you have been
working things out.

� [laughs] Little bit.
� All right, all right.

� To look directly
at specific people

who were actually making
little��little giggles

and tell them, like,
"Please, please."

Like, that��you were so good
at doing that.

It was so real
and you were so earnest.

Your physical comedy
was amazing.

The shoes, I mean,
they were just��

� I gotta find it.

I don't know
where that went, but, uh��

� [laughs] It's something
we haven't seen before...

� Thanks.
� And it was funny.

� Thank you very much.
� Thank you.

� I appreciate it.
Thank you.

� Whoopee cushions
are always funny,

but you took something
so dark

and mixed it
with a whoopee cushion.

It was brilliant.
Fabulous job, guys.

� Thank you so much, guys.
� Thank you.

� Great job.

Give it up
for the Chris & Paul Show!

� Thank you!

[cheers and applause]

� I like it.

It reminded me
of, like, "Monty Python."

� And laughing
at nothing being said.

That's what was cool.

� Silence in that bit is not
something to be afraid of.

� I was like, "Sir,
why are you shushing me?"

� I know!
[all laughing]

� I feel like...

� A sandwich?
� Yes.

� This girl over here
keeps waving at you.

I'll tell you.
� Is somebody��

[laughing]

� Nah, they loved you.
� Aww.

[whoopee cushion farts]

[both laughing]

.

[upbeat music]

� How are the kids today?

� Good, I didn't even see them.
[laughs]

� We're assuming they're good.
� I think they're good.

� What's going on
with your shirt?

Who is that?
� This is��this is my son.

This is Zander.
Yeah, this is my adopted baby.

� Hi, Zander.

� You know you got sippy cups
around your house.

� Every corner.
� [laughing]

� Sippy cups
and pacifiers everywhere.

� Have you ever found one

that, like, had been sitting
there for, like, a week��

� Oh, gosh, that it��

� It's got, like,
the mold in it and stuff.

� Yes.
� How old is he?

� He's, uh, 13 weeks.
� Oh, I want one.

No, I don't.
I don't.

No, I've got three
and I'm tired of them.

� It's been an amazing night
of comedy.

Quick reality check:

only six acts from tonight
can make it through

and book their place
in the Comedy Clash,

which I, personally,
am very excited about.

� Oh, me, too.
Me, too.

[cheers and applause]

� That being said��
oh, my God.

Don't ever make that face
ever again.

[laughing]
� I look so good.

� In that case,
let's meet our final act.

Here to prove
that laughter is elementary,

this is Lucas Bohn.

� Oh!
[hollering]

What's going on?
What's going on?

Ow, ow!

[cheers and applause]

While teaching
elementary school,

I learned that children were
a constant source of humor.

Now, listen,
these next examples

of student work are wrong.

But technically,
if you have a sense of humor

like I do, they're not wrong.

Cause and effect, here we go.

Cause:
Dan practices the trumpet

30 minutes every day.

Effect: he is a big nerd.

Yes.
� [laughs]

� That is not the answer
we were going for,

but that is not
incorrect either, okay?

From first grade,
also cause and effect.

Cause: Jane has three pet cats.

Effect: she will die alone.

Yes, she will.

[all laughing]

� Science and history.

It says,
"What event ended in 1814?"

Kid wrote: 1813.

[laughter]

Doesn't end there.
U. S. history, here it comes.

Where was the American

Declaration of Independence
signed?

Kid wrote: at the bottom.

Yeah.
� [laughing]

� From math class,
conversions.

Here we go.

Billy has 23 tacos.

He eats 16 tacos.

What does he have now?

Todd wrote: diarrhea.

Yes.

That's not a math answer,
but it's correct, all right?

� [laughs]

� Teddy has six Skittles.

He takes seven Skittles
from you.

What does he have now?

Five�year�old boy wrote:

a black eye.

Yes.
[laughter]

Second part of the question,
show your work.

This is what
the five�year�old wrote.

Bang!
That's what I'm talking about!

Ladies and gentlemen,
my name is Lucas Bohn.

You guys have been great.
Thank you so much.

[laughs]
Yeah!

Y'all were great!

Thanks a lot, man.
Thank you.

� Jeff.

� We've seen people get laughs
with something they've sang.

We've seen people get laughs
without saying anything.

Now you��you're getting laughs,
really, off the written word.

It's so hard to define comedy.
It's like, what is it?

But I don't know what it is.

It's just
if it makes you laugh,

and this made me laugh.

� Thanks.

� Chrissy?
� Yes.

� Your thoughts.

� Oh, my gosh,
that had to have been

the loudest roar
I've ever heard in this room.

People loved it.

That is so my humor.

The only issue I have

is that because
I'm on the internet so much

and because
I'm constantly online,

whether it's Reddit
or Twitter or Instagram,

I'm always looking at memes.

I just knew every answer,

and so it was hard
for me to laugh again at it.

� That's fine.

� Only because I live
on the internet, I've seen it.

� Gotcha.

� I wasn't as far ahead of it
every single time

as Chrissy I guess was.

The only one I was ahead of
was the diarrhea one,

but I guess any time you talk
about multiple tacos

that's kind of where
that joke usually winds up.

It makes me wonder
what else you have.

But they were all solid,
especially the black eye

and then the illustration
of the black eye.

Just through the roof,
you know what I mean?

So you did a great job, yeah.
� Thanks, man.

� Yeah.
� Thank you.

� Give it up one more time
for Lucas Bohn.

� Thank you.
both: Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

� That is gonna be
a tough one to judge, though,

because that's not fair
that just because I've seen it

he can't go on.

� It was tight.

� Judges, we have seen

all of tonight's acts.

But I'm not the one
making the big decision.

Hah.
� This is hard.

I mean, we sit up there
and it's like,

everybody that goes up here
is a pro.

I mean, everybody's good
at what they do.

But we gotta pick
the funniest acts of the night.

This is a tough week.

� Here we go.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

� Feel like
the judges' decision��

if they don't, like,
pick both of us...

� Yeah.
� Then we go, "Wait"...

� Yeah.

� How about you just��
we're together.

� Yeah, yeah, yeah.
� It's like One Direction.

� So you know
there's only six spots?

� Six spots.
� Right, it's ten of us.

� There's ten of us.
Four people gotta go.

� Four people gotta go.
� He��I want him to go.

He too tall.

� The judges have made
their decisions.

Judges, it's time

to reveal the final six spots.

� Moving on
to the next round is...

The Valleyfolk!

� ♪ Why so serious? ♪

� Mole.
� Mole people.

� ♪ Why so serious? ♪

� It's Miss Tacarra Williams.

� ♪ I still remember ♪

♪ We weren't grown up
like this ♪

� Erica Rhodes, you're going
to the next round.

� ♪ Oh�oh ♪

♪ Why so serious? ♪

� The Chris & Paul show.

� ♪ Oh, why so serious? ♪

� ♪ Serious ♪
� ♪ Can someone tell me? ♪

� [shushing]

[both shushing]

� Chrissy,

who will be next?

� Lewberger!
� Yeah!

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

� All right, as you can see
we've only got one spot left.

Jeff?

� Rocky Dale Davis,
you're going to the next round.

[cheers and applause]

� Yeah!
Let's go!

� All right, let's hear it
one more time

for our six acts moving on
to the Comedy Clash!

A big thank you
to the best�looking judges

in the business.

Give yourselves a round
of applause.

You've been the best crowd
we've ever had.

I've been Amanda Seales.
Good�night.

� ♪ Why so serious? ♪
� ♪ Serious ♪

� ♪ Why we so serious? ♪

♪ Oh, why so serious? ♪
� ♪ Serious ♪

� ♪ When did we get
like this? ♪