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1
00:00:27,177 --> 00:00:28,760
There's no room!
2
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:30,400
Dad? Dad?
3
00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:32,240
- Dad?
- There's no room!
4
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:34,720
No, no, no. No.
Fuck, Dad, please?
5
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,160
- I told you, there's no room.
- Fuck!
6
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,200
Told you. Find some place else.
7
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,240
Fuck!
8
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:56,840
Fuck!
9
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:07,520
What do you think?
10
00:01:07,907 --> 00:01:09,827
I'd have used flame-throwers.
11
00:01:09,867 --> 00:01:11,200
What you... Wh-What?
12
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,520
- Flamethrowers, against the zombies.
- No. I didn't say...
13
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:15,600
Or...
14
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,200
Or a crossbow with flaming arrows.
15
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,520
From an elevated position. And you
just pick them off. One by one.
16
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,280
- I didn't say zombies, did I?
- They sound like zombies.
17
00:01:24,305 --> 00:01:27,640
Didn't say zombies. I said they're
like normal-looking people.
18
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Yeah, but what if the zombies
have developed the ability to
19
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,880
disguise themselves
as normal people?
20
00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,720
It's like three times,
I've told you now that
21
00:01:33,744 --> 00:01:36,720
they're not zombies
and it's just not sinking in.
22
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,600
They were normal-looking people.
23
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,680
And the reason I'm having
these fucked-up dreams,
24
00:01:40,704 --> 00:01:42,360
it's cos of all them
pills you've put me on.
25
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,680
If you pick me up and shook me,
I'd sound I'm like a maraca.
26
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:48,440
You can point your finger at
the meds for your sleep distribution,
27
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,320
but the content of your dreams,
28
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,840
that's between you
and your subconscious.
29
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,480
And there's environmental
considerations.
30
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:57,600
Well, like what?
31
00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,880
Like living alone in the big,
dark woods smoking fat blunts
32
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,680
and watching the serial killer
documentaries till you fall asleep.
33
00:02:03,704 --> 00:02:06,240
I find 'em fucking fascinating.
34
00:02:08,048 --> 00:02:09,600
Soothing.
35
00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,280
Look, why don't you try
a change of scene?
36
00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:17,675
Go and stay somewhere else, see if
that has any effect on your dreams.
37
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,320
Or, failing that, buy yourself
a flame-thrower.
38
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,020
For fuck's sake.
39
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,400
Do you want to see something horrible?
40
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,280
Yeah. Go on.
41
00:02:26,304 --> 00:02:28,495
I had this patient in today.
Have you seen the Elephant Man?
42
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,440
Yeah, I've seen the Elephant Man,
yeah.
43
00:02:30,464 --> 00:02:31,479
John Merrick.
44
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,480
Makes John Merrick look like
Linda Lusardi. Watch this.
45
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,640
Oh, fuck.
46
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,560
Wait till I zoom in.
I couldn't do anything with it.
47
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,720
I went through three knives!
48
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,560
I shouldn't show it to you.
49
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,200
Oh, I hate myself.
50
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:47,840
Jim's got a spare room.
51
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,695
Yeah, but it's... But it's a racist
room. Do you know what I mean?
52
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,320
I can't be staying in a racist room,
it's gonna make me feel worse.
53
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,720
- Stay at mine, if you like.
- I not staying at yours...
54
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,960
- Fuck.Sorry.
- Why would I stay at yours?
55
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,000
You've got... I'm sorry.
Come on.
56
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,240
You've got a llama,
there's fucking Carol.
57
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,760
I just... I need my own space.
58
00:03:05,784 --> 00:03:07,399
You don't like sharing
a toilet is more like it.
59
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,800
No, I don't like sharing a toilet,
Dylan, because I'm a shy...
60
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,720
I'm... I'm a shy poo-er
61
00:03:12,744 --> 00:03:14,440
and I don't like the
idea someone could just
62
00:03:14,464 --> 00:03:16,464
fucking blaze
on in on me, mid-squit.
63
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,840
Why don't you stop here tonight?
64
00:03:18,864 --> 00:03:20,864
Kath and Sandra are
off to see Tinsley in Rhyl.
65
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,120
- You'd have the whole pub to yourself.
- Yeah?
66
00:03:23,144 --> 00:03:24,199
Kath's room.
67
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,280
The decor is a bit niche,
but she has a lovely, comfy bed.
68
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,760
Ashley, where the fuck is everyone?
69
00:03:29,784 --> 00:03:32,175
I've got the pub to myself here
and everyone has deserted me.
70
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,160
I'm with Tommo.
Helping him out with something.
71
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,880
Oh yeah? What's the big mystery?
72
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:39,011
Er, nothing, no, no.
It's, er, just this thing.
73
00:03:39,106 --> 00:03:40,200
What thing?
74
00:03:40,392 --> 00:03:42,527
I borrowed 50 quid off him,
there last week
75
00:03:42,527 --> 00:03:45,425
and now he's got me
paying it back, doing a bunch of...
76
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,840
'entertaining' for these old girls.
77
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,480
Ha ha! You're joking?
78
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,760
I wish I was.
79
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,320
Right! Chop-chop.
80
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:54,680
Show time! Now, then...
I have to go, Vin.
81
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,920
I want you to get out there...
82
00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:00,480
and give those lovely ladies
a fucking night to remember.
83
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,440
Here. Do summat sexy with it.
84
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,440
He loves it, really.
85
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,480
Ah, that's it.
86
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,180
Go on! Gerrin!
87
00:04:12,450 --> 00:04:16,560
Gina will be in first thing to
clean. I'll be in from ten to open up.
88
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:17,740
Right.
89
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,040
- Night love.
- Night, love.
90
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:48,880
Hm...
91
00:04:49,484 --> 00:04:52,415
What the neighbours didn't realise was
that Robinson had, in fact,
92
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,768
killed his mother
several years earlier and
93
00:04:54,793 --> 00:04:57,600
and slept alongside
her mummified remains in her bed.
94
00:04:57,808 --> 00:05:01,178
During a search of the property,
the police uncovered the remains of
95
00:05:01,178 --> 00:05:04,960
12 bodies that had been dismembered,
as well as a trophy wall
96
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,880
featuring framed photographs
of each of his victims...
97
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:17,040
...victims throughout their own
homes in the dead of night.
98
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,000
It's like
a self-perpetuating nightmare.
99
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,920
My fucking subconscious is out
to get me or summat.
100
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,560
- Hm?
- Fuck me... Dyldo?
101
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,000
- Are you listening, you?
- No, I am.
102
00:05:26,024 --> 00:05:27,671
All right, what did I just say then?
103
00:05:27,671 --> 00:05:30,480
You were going on about zombies
or something.
104
00:05:30,535 --> 00:05:31,840
I didn't say zombies.
105
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:34,360
I never mentioned zombies.
Nobody listens to me!
106
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,360
Dude, I'm baked man. You know?
What do you want me to say?
107
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,640
I don't fucking know
what I want you to say.
108
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,720
I've just told you
I've just had a brutal dream,
109
00:05:41,744 --> 00:05:44,163
about a group of sinister fucking...
110
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,400
joggers.
111
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,080
Wow.
112
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,084
Fuck off!
113
00:05:49,084 --> 00:05:51,200
Dude, it wasn't real, was it?
114
00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:53,880
If it were real, then I'd be more
engaged, but it wasn't, so I'm not.
115
00:05:53,905 --> 00:05:57,560
Oh, lah-di-dah!
116
00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:58,840
Fucking Dylan.
117
00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,360
Jesus Christ, forgive me.
118
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,880
Forgive me for not having
a more engaging zombie dream.
119
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,160
- Dylan, the police are downstairs!
- What?
120
00:06:07,215 --> 00:06:09,160
The police are downstairs.
Fuck. Vin, I've got to go.
121
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:09,960
They want to talk to you.
122
00:06:09,984 --> 00:06:12,320
What? What do they want?
Did they say what it was about?
123
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,760
No, but they don't look happy.
124
00:06:13,784 --> 00:06:16,735
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
I'm too high for this. Jesus Christ!
125
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,200
- Dylan?
- Er... Er...
126
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,320
- Dylan?
- What? What?
127
00:06:22,291 --> 00:06:24,595
Your face was priceless!
128
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,682
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Are the police here?
129
00:06:27,707 --> 00:06:29,895
No. It's, erm, it's my parents.
130
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,600
- Oh.
- They've come back with some friends.
131
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,360
Come down and say hi.
132
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,220
Oh, everyone,
this is my friend, Dylan.
133
00:06:39,245 --> 00:06:40,680
- Hello, Dylan.
- Hi.
134
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,400
- Hi, Dylan.
- Hi, Dylan.
135
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:45,840
Thanks...
136
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,280
for, er, well, for coming.
137
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,560
So, where do you come from, Dylan?
138
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,400
Upstairs.
139
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,120
In Sara's bedroom.
140
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,120
No, no. Not doing anything. Just...
141
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,280
I was... I was just watching her
get changed.
142
00:07:01,634 --> 00:07:04,135
While she got changed.
143
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:08,320
I was looking right out of the
window for the duration of her being...
144
00:07:09,772 --> 00:07:11,372
...naked.
145
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,560
Oh, sorry, sorry.
146
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:17,920
Oh.
147
00:07:17,945 --> 00:07:21,160
It's on silent. Erm...
I probably should get this.
148
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,480
Hello. Yeah.
149
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,400
Damn. Right, OK.
150
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,560
Well, I... Yeah, I guess,
if it is an emergency, then...
151
00:07:30,148 --> 00:07:34,520
My friend has... He's changed this
as a joke and I don't know how to...
152
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:35,760
Huh!
153
00:07:37,270 --> 00:07:39,720
- Dyl, you don't get it.
- Hey, mate. Yeah.
154
00:07:39,744 --> 00:07:42,280
- You hung up on a brother!
- Yeah, dude, man.
155
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:46,240
You'll never guess, right, there has
just been some crossed-line thing.
156
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,840
It wasn't ringing then.
Then it did, just now.
157
00:07:48,864 --> 00:07:50,864
So, all right, then, yeah.
158
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:52,520
Dylan! What a fucker!
159
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,120
So, erm...
160
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,880
Sara was telling me that...
161
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,249
that this house was...
was built in...
162
00:07:59,274 --> 00:08:01,360
1947.
163
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:05,120
If I was ever designing a house
like this, I would probably...
164
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,760
I'd probably take pictures of this
and copy it, you know.
165
00:08:11,277 --> 00:08:12,960
...after the shocking discovery that
166
00:08:12,984 --> 00:08:15,921
neighbours later recalled
having heard strange dull
167
00:08:15,979 --> 00:08:18,560
thudding sounds emanating
from the property...
168
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,800
Oh, shit.
169
00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:46,140
Fuck!
170
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,100
Fuck!
171
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:55,971
Come on.
172
00:08:55,971 --> 00:08:57,720
I have to say, Cardi,
I'm very impressed.
173
00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,880
- Oh, do you like it?
- Oh, it's perfect.
174
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:02,840
- You've gone to so much trouble.
- Well, you're worth it.
175
00:09:02,865 --> 00:09:06,200
I watched a video online which showed
you how to...
176
00:09:06,224 --> 00:09:07,870
d-d-de-beard a mussel.
177
00:09:07,871 --> 00:09:08,505
Oh?
178
00:09:08,530 --> 00:09:12,015
You just... You take hold of
its beard and tug it, firmly.
179
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,320
Oh, is that right? You have to take
charge of it, do you?
180
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,360
Be firm and dominate it?
181
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,320
Pull its hair and...
show it who is the boss?
182
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,720
Ignore it.
183
00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:27,280
It's Vinnie. How did he...?
184
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,920
Turn the sound down, at least.
185
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,455
You were telling me
how you used a firm hand.
186
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,600
Oh, yeah. It took us ages
to find the shallots. Right?
187
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,640
Cos I didn't know what they were.
188
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:41,320
But it turns out they're just like
l-l-little onions.
189
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,360
And the erm...
190
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,600
the mussels I just got off John.
191
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:47,840
John?
192
00:09:48,163 --> 00:09:50,163
You're talking about John the Nose?
193
00:09:50,188 --> 00:09:51,300
That's right.
194
00:09:52,449 --> 00:09:54,814
He tried to sell me, like,
a bag of mussels there,
195
00:09:54,839 --> 00:09:56,720
like, over a week ago.
196
00:09:56,860 --> 00:09:58,840
Yeah. That's right.
Luckily, he still had 'em.
197
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:02,690
The ones that were on the dash of
his transit van in a carrier bag?
198
00:10:02,715 --> 00:10:04,280
That's the ones, yeah.
199
00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:08,600
Jesus, Cardi.
200
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,840
They're fecking off,
you mad bastard.
201
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:14,005
You can't be eating shellfish
that's been in a carrier bag
202
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,400
sat on the dash of a
transit van for a week!
203
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,400
- I knew it! I knew they were off.
- Ah.
204
00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,440
That'll be why they didn't open.
I had to use pliers.
205
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,760
Oh, fucking Jesus Christ, Cardi!
206
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,720
Oh, fuck! Eurgh!
207
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,200
I'm not going back out there, Tommo.
208
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,160
They may be 90 years old,
but they're fucking rabid.
209
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,200
Come on, mate. Sweetheart...
210
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:51,560
Listen to me.
211
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:54,080
They're a bit over-excited.
212
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,240
But they're bound to be,
aren't they?
213
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,280
Some of them haven't seen a knob
up close since D-Day.
214
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,040
They're not just over-excited,
Tommo, are they?
215
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,680
They're all coked-up!
216
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,180
What? What's he on about?
Coked-up?
217
00:11:06,204 --> 00:11:07,439
What the fuck are
you on about, you?
218
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,720
I fucking seen you
219
00:11:08,744 --> 00:11:10,960
selling gear to a few of them
old handbags out there,
220
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,314
the rusty old wrist straps.
221
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:16,267
Listen to me. Sweetheart, right,
you're being paid to entertain.
222
00:11:16,292 --> 00:11:19,040
Right? So mind your own fucking
business and get back out there.
223
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:20,440
You haven't a fucking chance.
224
00:11:20,464 --> 00:11:21,600
You're not paying me enough
225
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,280
to get molested by a
load of senior citizens.
226
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,520
It's traumatising, Tommo!
227
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:30,720
They're properly out of control,
Tommo. They've breached the stage!
228
00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:32,760
- Fucking hell.
- Come on.
229
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,280
Ladies...
230
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:38,680
- Stop it! Give me that back!
- No!
231
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,720
Aw, baby!
Fucking hell!
232
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,327
Oh, yeah, that's bad.
That is bad.
233
00:11:50,351 --> 00:11:52,039
I shouldn't have given
them any drugs.
234
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,280
Right, get the fucking door.
Lock it!
235
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,720
Turn that light off.
Turn the lights off!
236
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,560
- Oh, sorry. Oh.
- Oh. Hey.
237
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,200
- Hi. Hi.
- Hi.
238
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,160
- You all right?
- Yeah.
239
00:12:13,259 --> 00:12:14,859
Yeah. Er...
240
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,200
Vinnie changed my ringtone.
241
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:19,840
No, things...
242
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,200
Things are good. Erm...
243
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,040
How's Tyler?
244
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,080
Yeah, he's amazing. As usual.
245
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,241
- Hiya.
- Hey.
246
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:30,920
Er... Er, sorry.
247
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,760
You've met... erm...
248
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:33,480
Erin.
249
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:36,455
- That's Sara, Erin.
- Erin! Hi!
250
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:37,200
Hi. Nice to meet you.
251
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,440
Oh, you, too, nice to meet you.
252
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:46,055
- The... Erm...
- I've heard so much about Tyler.
253
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:47,520
- Have you?
- Yeah.
254
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:48,935
Aw, that's nice.
255
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,560
Is he with you?
256
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,160
Oh, no, no, no. Not at this time.
No. It's way past his bed time.
257
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,640
Well, he sounds like
a very special little boy.
258
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,360
Yeah, he is.
259
00:12:58,961 --> 00:13:00,761
Right. Oh.
260
00:13:01,492 --> 00:13:03,492
- OK.
- Hi.
261
00:13:03,517 --> 00:13:05,517
- Er, Sugar, this is...
- Sara. Yeah.
262
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,320
It's...
263
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,360
- Pleased to meet you.
- Oh.
264
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:13,640
You're both looking very glam.
Off somewhere nice?
265
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,240
- Yeah, we're crashing a wedding.
- No, not really.
266
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,704
- Just out... and about.
- About..
267
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,922
Anyway, we were... er...
just gonna go.
268
00:13:20,922 --> 00:13:23,400
Yeah, we'd better pay for these.
269
00:13:24,090 --> 00:13:26,290
No, I don't think...
Do you want these?
270
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,720
No, no, no.
Just...
271
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,360
Erm...
272
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,700
- Have a fun night.
- You, too.
273
00:13:31,724 --> 00:13:32,640
Nice meeting you.
274
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,560
- Bye.
- Erm...
275
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,600
Yeah.
276
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,920
- You look really fucking glam?
- Oh, don't!
277
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:47,120
What is she trying to say? Did you
hear what she said about Tyler?
278
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,360
As if he's gonna be in here,
at this time of night.
279
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,960
What kind of mum does she think
I am? She was such a bitch.
280
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,960
Posh bitch! You see the way she kept
pawing at him, as well? Gross!
281
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,200
So insecure. Love, we get it,
you're together.
282
00:13:57,224 --> 00:13:58,440
You don't have
to keep touching him.
283
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,720
No-one's going to try and run off
with him. Proper phoney.
284
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,080
- Sugar...
- What?
285
00:14:04,965 --> 00:14:06,540
She was nice.
286
00:14:07,204 --> 00:14:09,800
- She was all right.
- Exactly what he needs.
287
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,320
Deserves.
288
00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:13,160
I mean, just cos
me and Jake didn't work out,
289
00:14:13,184 --> 00:14:14,680
it doesn't mean
that they shouldn't.
290
00:14:16,660 --> 00:14:18,660
You want to know summat, as well?
291
00:14:18,937 --> 00:14:21,057
I actually miss the chaos
of that lot.
292
00:14:21,558 --> 00:14:23,220
Seriously.
293
00:14:23,476 --> 00:14:26,309
You want some chaos?
Do you want some chaos?
294
00:14:26,539 --> 00:14:27,539
Please.
295
00:14:27,540 --> 00:14:29,400
Let's go and get fucking bladdered!
296
00:15:00,735 --> 00:15:03,215
♪ Sane, sane, they're all insane
297
00:15:03,794 --> 00:15:06,394
♪ Fireman's blind,
the conductor is lame...
298
00:15:09,055 --> 00:15:11,055
Fuck!
299
00:15:19,775 --> 00:15:21,775
♪ ..Clap your hands
300
00:15:23,295 --> 00:15:25,295
♪ Clap your hands... ♪
301
00:15:41,138 --> 00:15:42,335
Fuck me.
302
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,500
Shit.
303
00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:08,500
Hello.
304
00:16:27,044 --> 00:16:29,540
Hey, er... Hey, D-Man!
305
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,320
Er...
306
00:16:33,380 --> 00:16:35,380
Come here a minute.
307
00:16:42,656 --> 00:16:46,240
Oh, I swear, D-Man, you're getting
bigger every time I see you.
308
00:16:46,265 --> 00:16:50,040
Been going to
t'gym, innit, Vinnie. What quarms?
309
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,860
I'll tell you
what fucking quarms, D-Man.
310
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,880
There's someone in the cellar.
311
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,800
What? You're having
a fucking laugh.
312
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,160
No. I'm not having a laugh.
313
00:17:00,184 --> 00:17:02,360
I'm not having a fucking laugh.
There's someone in the cellar.
314
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,880
Well, do you want
to shoot him with this?
315
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,800
Where on earth have you got that?
316
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,040
I never leave the house
without it.
317
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,800
Well, a fucking...
318
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,727
An AK-47 is a bit much,
don't you think, D-Man?
319
00:17:14,752 --> 00:17:16,109
What are you being
a little bitch for?
320
00:17:16,109 --> 00:17:17,480
I'm not being a little bitch!
321
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,880
You are being a little bitch.
What the fuck are you even wearing, man?
322
00:17:20,905 --> 00:17:22,880
It's a co-ord. All right?
323
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,280
I'm actually on trend,
I'll have you know.
324
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,280
Are you having spray tans,
as well?
325
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,080
I've had one or two.
326
00:17:29,104 --> 00:17:31,560
I have had one or two.
It's the time of year, D-Man.
327
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,480
It's that time of year.
I'm fucking pasty, dude.
328
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:38,615
I don't look well. So, yes, I go and
have one or two spray tans.
329
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,720
And she's gradually getting darker.
330
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,800
Do you know, you've pissed me off
now, you've hurt my feelings.
331
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,577
I'm sorry, Vinnie.
I didn't mean ***.
332
00:17:47,995 --> 00:17:49,800
You have, you've hurt
my fucking feelings.
333
00:17:49,824 --> 00:17:51,720
You come round here
with an AK-47...
334
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,000
and you're unreasonable.
335
00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:00,628
I think... I think I'm gonna have to
ask you to leave, D-Man.
336
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,000
Don't be like that, Vinnie.
337
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,000
No, no, no. Fucking, that's it now.
338
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:07,160
That's it. Shouldn't have mentioned
the spray tans.
339
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,800
Really got my back up.
You know I'm sensitive.
340
00:18:10,135 --> 00:18:11,735
Sen... Sensitive.
341
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,360
Go on, get out, get out now.
342
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,000
Fuck.
343
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:18,360
Get out of it, get gone. Get out of
it, you pig! Go on, you cunt.
344
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,000
Fuck me.
345
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,600
Fuck.
346
00:18:24,176 --> 00:18:26,640
All right, whoever you are...
347
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,000
...I'm gonna give you
to the count of ten.
348
00:18:30,699 --> 00:18:34,099
And then that's... That's fucking it,
you're getting it.
349
00:18:35,971 --> 00:18:37,226
One...
350
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,080
...two...
351
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:45,360
♪ I'd rather go fishing
than out on some date
352
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,360
♪ All you need to go fishing... ♪
353
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,800
Come on.
354
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,120
Oh, f-f-fuckkk!
355
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,360
...five...
Halfway there now, pal.
356
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,040
...six, seven...
357
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:07,400
You'll notice I'm racing through it,
cos I don't give a fuck.
358
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,620
...nine...
359
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,440
and three-quarters...
360
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,060
All right, that's ten.
361
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,520
I said this would happen.
362
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,560
I said this would happen.
363
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,480
Fuck.
364
00:20:23,011 --> 00:20:24,200
Fuck.
365
00:20:27,028 --> 00:20:29,028
Shit.
366
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:38,280
Vinnie?
367
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,704
Oh, Cardi, thank Christ!
Dude, listen.
368
00:20:39,729 --> 00:20:40,495
Vinnie.
369
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,000
No, shut up.
Listen, I need your help, man.
370
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,880
- I'm dying.
- What?
371
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:46,560
F-F-Food poisoning.
372
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:50,480
I made the woman I love shit her
pants in front of me, Vinnie.
373
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,920
Carol...
374
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:54,680
She can't...
375
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:57,600
She can't stop shitting.
376
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,240
I've never seen...
377
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,680
...anything like it.
378
00:21:02,233 --> 00:21:03,720
I'm sorry to hear that, dude,
379
00:21:03,744 --> 00:21:05,120
but I'm locked in the
toilets at The Crow's Nest.
380
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:07,440
I... I can't leave this toilet, Vinnie.
381
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,600
If I don't make it...
382
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,920
...I want you to have my things.
383
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,000
- You don't have any things.
- I have got things!
384
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,240
Just stay hydrated.
385
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:44,880
Fucking chips!
386
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,920
Jim! Jim?
387
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,920
- Fucking looking at?
- Jim! Jim! Jim!
388
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,960
Jim, up here! Jim!
389
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,200
You! What the fuck do you want?
390
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,240
- Jim!
- What?
391
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:03,400
Fuck off, you fucking cod-stealing
bastard shit.
392
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,640
Who are you talking to,
you fucking idiot?
393
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:09,120
These are my fucking chips,
so fucking fuck the fuck off.
394
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,360
- Before I fucking...
- Nobody wants your fucking chips, Jim!
395
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,400
Oi! Up here. Look up!
396
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,280
Look up! Jim, look up!
397
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:17,720
- Fuck me.
- You? Again?
398
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:21,680
I thought I fucking told you
to fuck off, didn't I?
399
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:25,720
If you look at my fucking chips
one more time...
400
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,180
Look up!
401
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,160
Fuck! Jim!
402
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,000
Are you all right, dude?
403
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,200
♪ What is love? Baby, don't... ♪
404
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,240
What are you singing Haddaway for?
405
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,280
Fucking wanker.
406
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,760
Fucking hurt my fucking head!
407
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:42,860
Cunts.
408
00:22:45,401 --> 00:22:47,401
Fuck.
409
00:22:58,516 --> 00:23:00,316
Shit.
410
00:23:00,341 --> 00:23:02,141
Shit!
411
00:23:16,763 --> 00:23:18,403
Hey, up, mate.
412
00:23:20,643 --> 00:23:21,700
Oi!
413
00:23:21,910 --> 00:23:23,350
Fuck!
414
00:23:25,643 --> 00:23:27,643
Please don't be dead.
415
00:23:28,789 --> 00:23:30,789
Which fucking side, is it?
416
00:23:32,322 --> 00:23:33,620
Fuck!
417
00:23:36,923 --> 00:23:38,923
Who the fuck are you?
418
00:23:40,643 --> 00:23:41,580
Shit.
419
00:23:41,735 --> 00:23:44,655
- What's happened?
- Er... Er, nothing.
420
00:23:45,243 --> 00:23:47,840
I've known you long enough to know
that you wouldn't be calling me
421
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,400
at this time of night if there
hadn't been some drama.
422
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,840
So, go on. No, no, no,
listen, nothing's happened.
423
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,840
There's nothing... There's nothing
to worry about.
424
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,120
- Vinnie, I'm fucking with you!
- Ha!
425
00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:59,425
- What are you like?
- What you doing, anyway?
426
00:23:59,450 --> 00:24:01,250
Oh, you know, I'm just, er...
427
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:03,840
I'm just chilling, just hanging out.
428
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,680
Oh, come out. Come out.
Me and Sugar are out.
429
00:24:05,704 --> 00:24:06,959
Come out!
430
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,080
No, I can't, love, I can't. I'm...
431
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:10,560
I'm up early, you see.
432
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,040
Sugar said you're staying at Kath's.
433
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,520
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
Just... Just for one night.
434
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,840
In't it dead creepy being
there by yourself?
435
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:20,160
Shit.
436
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,000
Er... Yeah. Yeah.
437
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,920
Yeah, it is a bit, actually.
438
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,720
I haven't seen you for ages.
439
00:24:25,744 --> 00:24:27,744
I just said to Sugar
that I miss the craziness.
440
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,840
Oh, well, there's none
of that round here.
441
00:24:29,864 --> 00:24:31,864
Fuck me,
I am bored to tears, honestly.
442
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,000
- Yeah?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
443
00:24:34,024 --> 00:24:35,095
So, I can't tempt you out?
444
00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:36,680
I'd love to, but I'm up too early.
445
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,200
- Boo!
- Boring.
446
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,360
All right, then,
I'll let you go, yeah.
447
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,560
- Later, alligator.
- In a while, crocodile.
448
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,600
Fuck! Erm...
449
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:46,200
Shit!
450
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:50,760
Fuck off.
451
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,200
Oh, fuck me!
452
00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:32,720
Fuck!
453
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:36,160
What the fuck? Throw a dick at me?
Get the fuck out of here, man!
454
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,455
Oh, leave me alone!
I ain't even done owt.
455
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,040
You were breaking and entering!
456
00:25:42,064 --> 00:25:43,960
You know, there's laws
against that kind of shit.
457
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,920
It... It were an accident.
458
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,200
- An accident?
- I fell through the delivery hatch.
459
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,240
Yeah, yeah, and I suppose
that balaclava
460
00:25:51,264 --> 00:25:52,999
fall on your head an' all, did it?
461
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:53,880
No.
462
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,920
- I'm in the SAS.
- The SAS?
463
00:25:56,944 --> 00:25:57,479
Yeah.
464
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,535
I'm on a top-secret
mission, aren't I?
465
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,520
Here, in Hawley?
466
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,160
I'm not allowed to say.
It's a secret!
467
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:06,280
Listen, Orville,
468
00:26:06,304 --> 00:26:09,360
I'm sure Keith Harris is probably
wondering where the fuck you are.
469
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:11,080
I don't want you here, man.
470
00:26:11,104 --> 00:26:13,320
And I'm guessing you don't
want to be here either.
471
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,600
So, behind you, there's a window.
472
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:19,200
Climb through the window. There's
a fire escape. Down the ladders.
473
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,535
Fuck off. Don't come back.
Let sleeping dogs lie. How's that?
474
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,745
I don't know.
It looks quite high, that.
475
00:26:25,024 --> 00:26:27,704
Oh, God, no! It's dead high, that!
I can't do that.
476
00:26:27,744 --> 00:26:28,880
Just fucking...
477
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,415
Of course it's high.
It's a fire escape!
478
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,120
I can't do heights, they panic me.
479
00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:35,600
Did you mention that
in your SAS interview?
480
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,040
- No.
- No.
481
00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:41,320
Fuck me... What are we gonna do then?
482
00:26:41,678 --> 00:26:46,040
How about you just...
open the door and just let us out?
483
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,840
Fuck that. What if you've got a knife
and you try and stab me or summat?
484
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,640
I haven't got nothing, I swear!
Oh, please.
485
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,680
I just want to go home.
486
00:26:55,163 --> 00:26:56,880
All right, I'll tell you what. I'll open
this door.
487
00:26:56,904 --> 00:26:58,904
If you try any funny business,
488
00:27:00,457 --> 00:27:02,440
- I'll finger you to death.
- Eh?
489
00:27:02,464 --> 00:27:03,106
No.
490
00:27:03,107 --> 00:27:04,440
- You what?
- Not like...
491
00:27:04,464 --> 00:27:05,280
Help!
492
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:06,960
- No, no, no!
- Help! Mister!
493
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:08,519
- Fuck, I didn't mean it like that.
- I'm locked in a bathroom
494
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:09,840
and there's a man
495
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,720
threatening to finger me to death!
496
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,600
- I'm not sure what that means.
- That was a misguided attempt
497
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,880
to try and bring some levity
to the situation.
498
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,640
What's levity?
499
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,953
- Is that like fingering?
- No, it's not fingering.
500
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,080
It's not fingering. Just...
501
00:27:24,969 --> 00:27:26,969
I'm sorry, man, I...
502
00:27:28,059 --> 00:27:29,819
Oh...
503
00:27:29,844 --> 00:27:31,647
What's going on in there?
Are you all right?
504
00:27:31,671 --> 00:27:32,480
Aaah!
505
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,880
Yeah. It's... It's jammed right in.
I can't get it out.
506
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,320
I think it's touching my brain.
507
00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:40,880
All right, well, I'd better
take a look at it.
508
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,040
OK.
509
00:27:46,053 --> 00:27:48,053
Oh, shit.
510
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:51,760
Brought that on yourself.
511
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,920
- It really hurts.
- Come on.
512
00:27:55,755 --> 00:27:57,755
How does it look?
513
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,503
- Does it look bad?
- Yeah.
514
00:28:01,528 --> 00:28:03,289
You're not supposed to say that!
515
00:28:03,313 --> 00:28:05,752
When you ask doctors
and that, they say, 'No.'
516
00:28:05,752 --> 00:28:08,320
You've got a fucking corkscrew
in the side of your head.
517
00:28:08,344 --> 00:28:09,560
Of course it looks bad.
518
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,920
Well, let me just...
Let me try and pull it out.
519
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,140
Will it bleed? Cos I just can't do
blood and that.
520
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,680
It's almost as if...
521
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,856
you're not really in the SAS.
522
00:28:19,881 --> 00:28:20,920
Hm.
523
00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:23,400
It'll probably... It'll...
524
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:25,440
It probably won't bleed.
525
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,080
- All right?
- Good.
526
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,000
OK. I'm ready.
527
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:32,320
Oh, you're going the wrong way!
You're making it go deeper!
528
00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:35,360
I apologise. It were like lightning.
But not nice lightning.
529
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:39,200
- Like frightening lightning.
- Just shut the fuck up wittering on.
530
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,720
Oh, that's the same way! The same
way! It's touching my brain again!
531
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,120
I don't know what I'm doing!
532
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,400
I'm dyslexic. Fucking clockwise,
lefts and rights, I'm bad at it.
533
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,440
Everything's fucking digital now.
534
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,480
When was the last time you even saw
a normal clock?
535
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:02,080
- All right. I know what I'm doing.
- Oh, OK.All right.
536
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,120
Owww! Aaarrrggghhh!
537
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:05,880
Ohh!
Aaa-aaa-aaah!
538
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,080
Oh, bloody hell!
539
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,720
- Let's have a look.
- That's a lot of blood, that.
540
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,440
Oh, what's that?
541
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:15,280
- It's super glue.
- Eh?
542
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:16,920
Oh...
543
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:20,895
One Mississippi. Two Mississippi.
Three Mississippi.
544
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:22,400
There you go.
545
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,480
- Shit!
- What's up?
546
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,960
I fucking superglued my hand
to your head.
547
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,000
- Oh, no!
- Oh, no.
548
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:33,040
Fuck! All right. One, two, three!
549
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:34,680
Oww!
550
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,520
Fuck me. I thought I'd killed you.
551
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,400
I've got narcolepsy.
552
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,533
When I get tired,
I just fall asleep.
553
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:47,680
That's everyone.
554
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:49,680
I just wanted to pinch a few things.
555
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:51,260
Not... Not much.
556
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,520
Just enough...
557
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:55,560
to buy a bird bath.
558
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:56,500
A bird bath?
559
00:29:56,980 --> 00:29:59,900
Yeah, not for me. For my mum.
560
00:30:00,460 --> 00:30:03,080
She doesn't really
get out much any more.
561
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:07,440
She likes to sit in the garden
and watch the birds.
562
00:30:08,020 --> 00:30:13,048
And there's this one bird that comes
to visit her, a robin,
563
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:17,080
that she thinks is
the reincarnation of my dad.
564
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,680
He were called Robin, you see.
565
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,200
She wants a bird bath for him,
566
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,240
on account of how he always...
567
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:25,460
liked...
568
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:27,000
to have a bath.
569
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:31,789
Can't you just go and nick
a bird bath, like any normal person?
570
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,200
I've seen a really nice one.
571
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,760
York sandstone.
Dead impressive it is.
572
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,800
In the grounds of this posh house.
573
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,520
Yeah, sounds really nice.
Go and nick that one.
574
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,240
The thing is, it...
it looks dead-heavy.
575
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,720
- Like a... two-man job.
- Take a mate with you.
576
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,520
Come on, you must have one friend.
577
00:30:54,820 --> 00:30:57,140
Mum says folk are odd.
578
00:30:57,180 --> 00:31:00,660
And it's their loss,
if they don't warm to us.
579
00:31:01,166 --> 00:31:05,740
And... And you can't force people
to be your friends, can you?
580
00:31:05,780 --> 00:31:10,620
I mean, sometimes, you're just
better off staying out of their way.
581
00:31:13,820 --> 00:31:15,820
What's your name?
582
00:31:15,860 --> 00:31:17,660
Gideon.
583
00:31:19,209 --> 00:31:21,209
I'm Vinnie.
584
00:31:24,467 --> 00:31:27,560
No-one's here on Thursdays,
so we're safe.
585
00:31:27,584 --> 00:31:29,179
Unless the D-Man followed us.
586
00:31:29,180 --> 00:31:30,600
Oh, you said he had a gun!
587
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,600
What if he sees us and shoots us
with it, just for fun, like?
588
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:35,840
Gideon! Jesus Christ, listen to me.
589
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:37,480
D-Man's gone.
590
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,320
And he's not coming back.
591
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:41,360
All right? I promise you. Yeah?
592
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,400
- Yeah.
- All right.
593
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,960
- Where is this bird bath, then?
- Up there.
594
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,015
Why didn't you tell me
to nick a bigger car, man?
595
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,160
You're having a laugh, dude.
That's not a fucking bird bath.
596
00:31:59,184 --> 00:32:00,119
That's a fountain!
597
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,560
- A fountain?
- Yeah.
598
00:32:01,584 --> 00:32:03,295
So, is that different
to a bird bath?
599
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:04,800
Of course it's different
to a bird bath.
600
00:32:04,824 --> 00:32:06,824
A fountain is much bigger, innit.
601
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:10,480
The fucking thing is massive.
How are we gonna fit it in the car?
602
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,600
Does that mean we can't get
the birdbath for Mum, then?
603
00:32:15,857 --> 00:32:18,977
All right. Fuck it. We need to go
and get the car. Come on.
604
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,360
Electronic fence. I'm just gonna
force it. It should open.
605
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:24,000
- OK.
- Here we go.
606
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:25,920
- You fucker.
- They're not opening, Vinnie.
607
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,320
Well, fucking not yet, it's not.
Give us a sec.
608
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:29,760
Urghh.
609
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,960
- They're still not opening.
- I know! Fuck me, I'll climb over.
610
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,280
Oh.
Ooh!
611
00:32:36,629 --> 00:32:38,819
For fuck's sake, dude!
612
00:32:48,441 --> 00:32:50,000
- Gideon!
- Yeah?
613
00:32:50,024 --> 00:32:52,024
It's not gonna take much
to make it give.
614
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,440
So, just... Oi! Nice and slow.
615
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,480
All right?
Got it, Vinnie.
616
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:01,680
Just a bit more than that.
Just a smidge.
617
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:03,120
OK.
618
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,920
Have you even let the clutch out,
Gideon?
619
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,880
Er... Which one is that?
620
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:10,160
The clu...
621
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,655
Do you even know how to drive?
622
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,160
- No.
- No?
623
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,280
- Is it even in gear?
- Er...
624
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:19,000
Ah, right. Is that it?
The stick here?
625
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,920
No, no, no, no, no!
626
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:28,120
Holy shit, man. Look at the state
of it, you lunatic.
627
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:29,400
Oh, no.
628
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,680
Oh, no! You've really
done it now, Gideon.
629
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:36,520
They'll put you in prison and then
who is gonna look after Mum?
630
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,960
- Come on, let's run away!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
631
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,280
Just settle down.
632
00:33:40,304 --> 00:33:42,082
We're not going nowhere
without that birdbath
633
00:33:42,106 --> 00:33:44,064
slash fountain thing. All right?
634
00:33:44,065 --> 00:33:46,640
Now, pull yourself together.
Are you feeling strong?
635
00:33:46,664 --> 00:33:47,240
Why?
636
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:48,960
Cos it's gonna
weigh a fucking ton, man!
637
00:33:48,984 --> 00:33:50,984
- Oh.Yeah?
- OK.
638
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:56,960
Yeah?
639
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,080
OK. I'm going as fast as I can,
Vinnie.
640
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,200
Oh, bloody hell! Stop moaning and
get in the fucking car!
641
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,040
Get in the car!
642
00:34:13,707 --> 00:34:16,880
Right, you little bastards!
I've got you on camera.
643
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:19,120
Can you fuck off, please?
It's hard enough to see without...
644
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:21,160
You are going viral!
645
00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:24,440
There you are, stream that!
646
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,560
I can't believe you did that,
Vinnie.
647
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,653
Feels good to be alive,
doesn't it, pal, hey?
648
00:34:28,678 --> 00:34:30,240
Huzzah!
649
00:34:31,240 --> 00:34:33,240
Huzzah, dude!
650
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,280
- Huzzah!
- Huzzah!
651
00:34:44,181 --> 00:34:47,815
Right, listen, I'm gonna get off.
Oh, no, don't run off just yet.
652
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,800
- It's late, man. I need my bed.
- Come and say hello to Mum.
653
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,280
She's gonna be asleep.
She don't really sleep well.
654
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,360
She don't get many visitors.
She'd be made up.
655
00:34:55,384 --> 00:34:57,560
Just pop up and
say hello, like, please.
656
00:34:57,585 --> 00:34:59,200
- Please?
- Yeah, all right, all right.
657
00:34:59,224 --> 00:35:01,224
Five minutes. Yeah?
658
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,120
- It's cold, innit?
- It's got to be.
659
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,160
Mum can't sleep if it's too hot.
660
00:35:09,121 --> 00:35:11,121
She's just up there.
661
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,800
Who is all this lot?
662
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:16,920
Dead people.
663
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:18,920
- Hey?
- They're all dead.
664
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,320
Well, they can't all be dead!
665
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,122
- Er... Yeah, they are.
- He's not dead.
666
00:35:25,385 --> 00:35:26,985
Yeah, he is.
667
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,280
What about this lot here?
668
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,880
Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, they all died
in a boating accident.
669
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:33,440
They won the boat on Bullseye.
670
00:35:33,464 --> 00:35:35,840
Got dropped in an artificial lake.
No water.
671
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:39,560
- So, they were all killed.
- Dude, is this a wall of dead people?
672
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:40,800
- Is that what this is?
- Yeah.
673
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,760
- Everybody is dead?
- Yeah, up to the top, yeah.
674
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,360
But he's not. He's not dead.
675
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:48,000
Oh, he is. He had an
electric trike from Taiwan.
676
00:35:48,024 --> 00:35:50,480
It were too powerful.
Took him right into t'wall.
677
00:35:50,622 --> 00:35:53,320
- Yeah, it were very sad.
- A horrible story.
678
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,760
What's all this shit?
The rapey doll here?
679
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:57,680
Who is this furry little...
680
00:35:57,720 --> 00:35:59,520
Fuck! Fuck me, dude.
681
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:01,160
Aw!
682
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,200
It's just Mr Mittens.
683
00:36:03,240 --> 00:36:03,982
All right.
684
00:36:04,007 --> 00:36:06,399
What are you doing up here,
Mr Mittens? Meow!
685
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:07,560
Hello, Vinnie!
686
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,160
A bit Buffalo Bill in here,
in't it, pal?
687
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:11,920
Oh, yeah. I get it. Woo-woo-woo!
688
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,960
Nothing to do with Indians. You don't
know what I'm talking about.
689
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:18,200
- A cowboy, weren't he?
- You've never seen the film, have you?
690
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:20,200
- Where are we going?
- In to see Mum.
691
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,759
Listen, it's...
692
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:24,520
- I'm just feeling a bit anx-anxious.
- Oh, please, Vinnie.
693
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:28,040
- It's really late, though.
- I know. Just two... Just two minutes.
694
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,080
She'll be so made up. Please?
695
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,640
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Is that all right?
696
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:34,599
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
697
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:37,100
Mum? Mum!
698
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:39,680
Got a surprise for you.
699
00:36:40,545 --> 00:36:42,545
Brought you a visitor.
700
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:44,800
Why did you have to say it like that?
701
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,200
- Like what?
- You just said, 'Brought you...
702
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:48,079
Well, I have.
703
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:49,820
Like you're gonna feed her or summat.
704
00:36:50,572 --> 00:36:52,572
What's in here, dude?
705
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:56,280
Hiya, Mum.
706
00:36:56,660 --> 00:36:58,660
How are you doing?
707
00:37:02,660 --> 00:37:04,660
Did you manage to get any sleep?
708
00:37:08,660 --> 00:37:10,340
Who's this?
709
00:37:10,380 --> 00:37:11,500
Oh.
710
00:37:12,020 --> 00:37:14,020
This is Vinnie, Mum.
711
00:37:14,060 --> 00:37:15,680
He's a friend of mine.
712
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:18,860
He wanted to come
and say hello to you.
713
00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:21,460
That's nice.
714
00:37:21,860 --> 00:37:24,660
And have you asked Vinnie
what we ask visitors?
715
00:37:25,184 --> 00:37:27,024
Oh, yeah.
716
00:37:28,513 --> 00:37:30,993
Would you like some tea, love?
717
00:37:31,620 --> 00:37:33,160
No.
718
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,160
I'm all right, thanks, Giddy.
719
00:37:35,495 --> 00:37:38,055
Go and make us a pot, Giddy, love.
720
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:39,400
OK.
721
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,720
He doesn't really have friends,
you know.
722
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:48,960
He's a bit too...
723
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,740
unique for most folk.
724
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,060
Thems with small minds.
725
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,160
He's vulnerable.
726
00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:03,660
Easy picking for the wrong sort
to take advantage of.
727
00:38:05,060 --> 00:38:07,060
I wouldn't do that.
728
00:38:20,369 --> 00:38:22,820
You know why you're here, Vinnie?
729
00:38:25,523 --> 00:38:29,940
He's trying to show me
I don't have to worry about him.
730
00:38:29,980 --> 00:38:31,820
Mm.
731
00:38:31,860 --> 00:38:33,000
But I do.
732
00:38:33,460 --> 00:38:36,900
I'm a mum. That's what we do.
733
00:38:37,580 --> 00:38:40,162
Boys need their mums.
734
00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:42,240
- Isn't that right?
- Mm.
735
00:38:44,550 --> 00:38:47,030
Can you be a good friend, Vinnie?
736
00:38:48,175 --> 00:38:50,175
He's going to need a friend.
737
00:38:51,597 --> 00:38:53,597
I'll be his friend.
738
00:38:58,764 --> 00:39:00,764
You're tired.
739
00:39:02,172 --> 00:39:04,172
- Aren't you?
- Yeah.
740
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,920
Yeah, I am a bit.
Yeah, I've been up all night.
741
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,040
No.
742
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,100
It's not just tonight, though,
is it, lovey?
743
00:39:15,755 --> 00:39:17,580
You're worn out.
744
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:24,360
You've been brave long enough,
you don't need to keep it up.
745
00:39:28,580 --> 00:39:31,000
Sssh.
746
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:34,360
- I'm sorry.
- Come here. Come here.
747
00:39:36,090 --> 00:39:38,090
You're just tired.
748
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:42,520
There's a lad.
749
00:39:46,124 --> 00:39:48,364
You'll be all right.
750
00:39:50,334 --> 00:39:54,654
♪ Life is but a dream ♪
751
00:39:54,694 --> 00:39:58,494
♪ It's what you make it ♪
752
00:39:58,534 --> 00:40:02,534
♪ Always try to give... ♪
753
00:40:12,945 --> 00:40:14,545
Fuck me!
754
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:15,960
Fucking hell. Hey, up.
755
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,040
Morning, dude.
Just got up, have you?
756
00:40:18,064 --> 00:40:19,640
Yeah, yeah.
757
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:21,880
- Morning.
- Afternoon, mate.
758
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:23,640
You've been out for the count.
759
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:26,160
- How's it going, then?
- I have no idea.
760
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:27,920
I've just had the maddest night.
761
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,240
- This old woman touched me.
- Me, too.
762
00:40:30,240 --> 00:40:31,934
I got groped by an old one, too.
763
00:40:31,958 --> 00:40:34,720
Jesus fucking Christ.
It's the last time I'm saying it.
764
00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:36,120
Right? It is business.
765
00:40:36,144 --> 00:40:39,415
There's people who would pay
good money for that shit.
766
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,200
You all right, you?
767
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:45,200
I didn't know it was
physically possible
768
00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:48,960
for a human being
to poo that much.
769
00:40:50,175 --> 00:40:51,975
You sleep all right, Vin?
770
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,600
Oh, Christ, yeah.
771
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,309
I did, all right. I've been having
these mental dreams.
772
00:40:56,334 --> 00:40:58,840
Oh, I had a mad dream
the other night.
773
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:02,320
I wanted to go to America, yeah,
but I mean they wouldn't let me in.
774
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:05,440
So, I got into a cardboard box
and then I posted myself.
775
00:41:05,479 --> 00:41:08,479
But then I realised I forgot to wee
before I got in.
776
00:41:08,504 --> 00:41:10,281
Could be worse, couldn't ya?
777
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:12,720
You could have been trapped in there
with Cardi's missus!
778
00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:16,394
That's too far. You're bang out of
order. Fucking hell.
779
00:41:16,419 --> 00:41:19,840
Imagine that, eh, trapped in a box,
in the pitch black,
780
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:21,960
with Carol and her explosive anus!
781
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:23,880
I'm fucking warning you.
782
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:27,200
Cardi, Cardi, it's
like a chocolate fountain in here!
783
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:28,880
It's like Cadbury's World!
784
00:41:30,636 --> 00:41:34,316
- No, no, it's not funny.
- Come on, Tommo, go on, apologise.
785
00:41:34,356 --> 00:41:35,480
You're upsetting him.
786
00:41:35,504 --> 00:41:37,504
You're right.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
787
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,120
I'm sorry that you made
your bird shit herself.
788
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,640
I fucking warned you, didn't I!
789
00:42:55,224 --> 00:42:57,464
We've got a shitload of weed
to get rid of here.
790
00:42:57,504 --> 00:43:00,024
I invested. Now I need a return.
791
00:43:00,064 --> 00:43:01,624
- A festival?
- A festival.
792
00:43:01,664 --> 00:43:03,704
Would anybody like a disco biscuit?'
793
00:43:04,784 --> 00:43:06,784
Fuck off!
794
00:43:06,824 --> 00:43:09,255
- Is it a yes or a no?
- Right, get going.
795
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,264
- But, whatever you do, don't hang about.
- Shit.
796
00:43:15,104 --> 00:43:18,360
- Your pig is a cunt!
- Your pig is a cunt!
58179
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