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Previously on "You Me Her"...
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- Hey!
- Mom?
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- Fuck!
- She came!
4
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This is so perfect!
5
00:00:06,612 --> 00:00:08,679
- We're gonna be one big happy family.
- We're doomed.
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- ? For me and my guy ?
- What... what are you doing?
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Whenever I'm sad or blue or stressed,
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I just sing it all away. Come on.
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Well, I don't feel sad.
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I am scared shitless.
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We have a lot to do here, boys,
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00:00:20,932 --> 00:00:22,791
and we need to finish
these centerpieces,
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00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:25,532
because in 28 minutes, candle-making!
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This isn't a bachelor
party. It's a sweatshop.
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That woman... she's an evil genius.
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You two have serious and
progressive mental problems
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that will make living a
normal life impossible.
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That was basically a
fireworks show of passion.
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Let's resume the wedding crashing and
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- go get our girl.
- Yes.
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Sloppy Gilmore, just, uh,
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what do you think
you're doing over there?
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I can't believe I'm gonna say this,
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but, lady, I need you to take
your hands off of the other la...
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- [ALL GASP]
- Someone should really confront that guy.
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- It's all in the eyes.
- No.
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[GRUNTS]
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I was a heavyweight.
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[COUNTRY MUSIC]
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? Well, I'm on my way,
and I'm not afraid ?
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? No, Lord, 'cause tonight... ?
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Okay, fuck.
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- Can you hold this?
- Yeah.
34
00:01:07,429 --> 00:01:09,403
Okay, so what was it
about the crazy eyes again?
35
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You got to do it like this, like...
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[GROWLS] Like all crazy and shit.
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- [GROWLS]
- No, not like that. That's ugly.
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No, it's still ugly. Ew,
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it looks like you sat on something,
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and yet you're oddly enjoying it.
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You know what? Go with it, though.
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Maybe he'll think
you're having a seizure
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and take pity on you, perhaps.
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I don't know, man. Is this
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that moment where I make
the worst decision ever
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and end up walking sideways
for the rest of my life?
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- May I take this one?
- [SCOFFS]
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Great, thank you.
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Yes, it is that moment,
Jack, but here's the thing.
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Nobody knows us here,
so it's completely viable
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if we just all the sudden, all together
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turn very suddenly and
run in the other direction.
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Wait, I don't get it.
Why do we have to run?
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Yeah, Duffer McHuge is
only calling out Trakarsky.
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That's true.
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Is he really that big? I
don't want to turn around.
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- He's super fucking huge.
- Just... Okay, shush!
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Okay?
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The girlfriend you came here to win back
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is watching.
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Nothing else matters.
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Hey, flyweight, getting bored over here.
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- You wussing out or what?
- No, we're just...
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we're having a powwow here.
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Oh, God, I hate to
have to do this again.
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- What? [YELPS]
- [CROWD GROANS]
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00:02:06,097 --> 00:02:08,203
Jack, you don't have to do this, okay?
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00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,960
Remember what happened last time?
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The body count you left behind?
The blood? "Oh, the humanity!"
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Jack, the eyes!
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- What is that?
- It's scary, right?
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- Are you okay? Is something wrong?
- No, no, it's just a thing I'm doing.
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It's unpredictable.
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- What's happening?
- This is happening. I can't control it.
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- So it's just my eye thing.
- All right, let's do it. I got that, too.
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Jack, come here. Listen to me.
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Listen to me, okay? Just
tell that big asshole
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that you're sorry and that
you've just had too much to drink.
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00:02:31,627 --> 00:02:33,953
Can you stop interrupting me,
please? I'm about to fight.
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- Oh, my God.
- Thank you for caring, though.
81
00:02:35,209 --> 00:02:37,542
- I really appreciate it All right, buddy, let's do it..
- I can't.
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I've seen more action at
the high-school bake sale
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when I intentionally left
the price tag on my cupcakes.
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No reason, just shaking shit up.
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Girl, you are weird, but I dig it.
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- Mm-hmm.
- [GROANING]
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00:02:48,075 --> 00:02:50,651
- What is it?
- Ah! Gluten sensitivity.
88
00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,474
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, beer's the worst.
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00:02:52,676 --> 00:02:54,253
Oh, beer's the worst. I know better.
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00:02:54,254 --> 00:02:56,086
I have the same thing,
the exact same thing.
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I really appreciate the support, man.
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This is just making me sad.
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[SLOW ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:02,730
Bye, guys.
95
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Iz!
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00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,072
Wait up.
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Hey, look, I know we didn't
literally fight for you
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in the traditional sense, but...
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Yeah, but we stood up for your honor.
100
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Hey, we're trying to win you back here.
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- I'm sorry if we suck at it...
- You just don't listen to me, do you?
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- Huh?
- What?
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[SCOFFS] You don't actually hear me.
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Just tell us what you want us to do.
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It just doesn't matter.
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Just took over Lala's
bachelorette party.
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It's always about you.
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- [DOOR CLOSES]
- Hey. Big Ginger.
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- What the hell are you doing here?
- Ugh. Seriously, dude?
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You know you're gonna have to
stand up to your feral little...
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your girlfriend, your beautiful
girlfriend here, one day.
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Okay, so this is how it's gonna be now,
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you Small Brunette?
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So he did take the advice.
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00:03:54,351 --> 00:03:55,733
He's just really bad
at it, so it's okay.
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00:03:55,770 --> 00:03:57,735
You steppin' up on me
now? Is that... 'cause no.
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00:03:57,772 --> 00:03:59,902
- That's not happening anymore.
- So I shouldn't be pissed?
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00:03:59,923 --> 00:04:01,436
Meaning you guys did finish everything?
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00:04:01,452 --> 00:04:04,990
Um, cigars, steaks,
centerpieces, strung lights...
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00:04:05,022 --> 00:04:06,891
I seriously hope that you're
fucking with me right now,
121
00:04:06,923 --> 00:04:08,750
because the alternative is horrifying.
122
00:04:08,787 --> 00:04:10,232
Why, because I tricked you into
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- "doing all my dirty work"?
- No!
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00:04:11,867 --> 00:04:14,459
This is not an air
quotes situation, Neen.
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00:04:14,481 --> 00:04:17,933
You literally tricked me into
doing your literal dirty work.
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00:04:17,954 --> 00:04:19,122
And that hurt.
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00:04:19,861 --> 00:04:21,316
Can I talk...
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00:04:21,656 --> 00:04:25,033
Look, I am fucking drowning here, okay?
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00:04:25,044 --> 00:04:27,455
I've been planning imaginary
weddings my whole life,
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00:04:27,603 --> 00:04:29,967
I thought it was gonna
be a breeze, but it's not!
131
00:04:30,222 --> 00:04:33,473
Fuck, Shaun, there is
so much to do, okay?
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And I asked for your help
because I know that you are
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00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,573
a get-shit-done
motherfucker, Shaun Gilmore.
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00:04:37,594 --> 00:04:39,639
And I'm sorry
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00:04:39,677 --> 00:04:41,663
that you think that I was
taking advantage of you
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00:04:41,684 --> 00:04:43,463
and I made you feel that way.
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00:04:43,881 --> 00:04:45,131
I'm sorry.
138
00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:48,184
[SOMBER MUSIC]
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Okay.
140
00:04:52,365 --> 00:04:54,230
So here's the thing, Neen...
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00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,634
When we leave here,
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we are either moving in together...
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00:05:01,162 --> 00:05:04,008
or we are breaking up. Because I say so.
144
00:05:04,046 --> 00:05:07,312
Shaun, ple... I mean,
are you seriously...
145
00:05:07,405 --> 00:05:11,067
? ?
146
00:05:11,455 --> 00:05:13,823
- [STAMMERS]
- Yeah, I am serious.
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00:05:14,678 --> 00:05:16,505
[SIGHS, MOUTHS WORD]
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[SNIFFLES]
149
00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:21,583
? ?
150
00:05:21,619 --> 00:05:24,553
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
151
00:05:33,226 --> 00:05:34,681
- Hey, you.
- Who are you?
152
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,427
What highly literate
planet did you come from?
153
00:05:36,428 --> 00:05:38,239
And what have you done with my mother?
154
00:05:38,261 --> 00:05:40,082
Very funny. [CHUCKLES]
155
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I used to be quite the reader
before the wheels fell off.
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So...
157
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What?
158
00:05:49,686 --> 00:05:51,077
What's the matter?
159
00:05:51,306 --> 00:05:54,824
Cross-addicted mom crashing your
dad's wedding got your tongue?
160
00:05:54,851 --> 00:05:56,264
Um...
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00:05:56,944 --> 00:05:58,303
I'm proud of you.
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00:05:58,973 --> 00:06:00,040
Oh.
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00:06:00,099 --> 00:06:01,794
Both of you, actually.
164
00:06:02,392 --> 00:06:04,998
- But, um...
- Oh. [CHUCKLES]
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00:06:05,561 --> 00:06:07,080
There it is.
166
00:06:08,098 --> 00:06:10,133
You know this isn't a good idea, right?
167
00:06:10,728 --> 00:06:12,247
First, it's the...
168
00:06:13,962 --> 00:06:16,717
And then... and then the
shame and then the bourbon,
169
00:06:16,737 --> 00:06:18,611
and then that's where
the trouble begins.
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00:06:18,627 --> 00:06:22,392
And it just feels really
irresponsible to stand by
171
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:24,591
and watch you two burn
down the rest of his life.
172
00:06:24,602 --> 00:06:26,445
We're not those people anymore.
173
00:06:27,518 --> 00:06:29,679
Are you sure you haven't
said those exact words,
174
00:06:29,701 --> 00:06:32,350
- like, a million times?
- Yeah, I've said those exact words
175
00:06:32,382 --> 00:06:34,225
exactly like that a million times.
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00:06:34,262 --> 00:06:36,217
No, listen. Now I really mean it.
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00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,182
We can't have closure over the phone.
178
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,945
Lala understood that.
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00:06:39,977 --> 00:06:41,878
It's why she wouldn't
take no for an answer.
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00:06:41,899 --> 00:06:47,267
And I guess after years of learning
to be this version of himself,
181
00:06:47,432 --> 00:06:52,239
this father, this... this
husband, this Ben Silva,
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00:06:52,594 --> 00:06:54,421
she wanted me to be here
183
00:06:54,671 --> 00:06:56,073
to see him "graduate."
184
00:06:56,110 --> 00:06:57,725
That's what she calls it.
185
00:06:58,075 --> 00:06:59,876
And she wanted him to turn around and...
186
00:06:59,881 --> 00:07:01,888
and see that I was okay, too.
187
00:07:02,621 --> 00:07:03,920
Then we can just...
188
00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:05,314
we can move on.
189
00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:07,724
[SIGHS]
190
00:07:07,759 --> 00:07:11,970
? ?
191
00:07:13,165 --> 00:07:15,024
[SIGHS]
192
00:07:15,899 --> 00:07:19,300
Those two weirdos are pretty
crazy about you. [CHUCKLES]
193
00:07:21,072 --> 00:07:23,151
Why are we... what are you saying,
194
00:07:23,184 --> 00:07:25,812
- that I should give them a chance?
- Oh, no. [BLOWS RASPBERRY] God, no.
195
00:07:25,828 --> 00:07:26,975
That's a ridiculous idea.
196
00:07:26,996 --> 00:07:30,061
You moving into some
suburban family's house
197
00:07:30,081 --> 00:07:32,238
and living forever and ever.
That was a bit blunt, wasn't it?
198
00:07:32,248 --> 00:07:33,486
No, it...
199
00:07:34,569 --> 00:07:36,773
Maybe we should've been blunter.
200
00:07:37,719 --> 00:07:39,179
A little more honest.
201
00:07:39,285 --> 00:07:40,857
But we, um...
202
00:07:42,392 --> 00:07:43,954
we just got lost in it.
203
00:07:45,388 --> 00:07:47,135
Like parents, like daughter?
204
00:07:47,395 --> 00:07:49,833
- Maybe.
- [LAUGHS]
205
00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:53,904
You know, um, there is one thing
I... I would like to know, though.
206
00:07:53,952 --> 00:07:55,093
- Um...
- What?
207
00:07:55,094 --> 00:07:59,120
Does Jack really
believe that he can sing?
208
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:02,180
[LAUGHTER]
209
00:08:02,753 --> 00:08:03,978
- He does.
- Oh, gosh.
210
00:08:04,014 --> 00:08:06,640
It's our fault. Emma and I... we, um...
211
00:08:07,584 --> 00:08:08,808
Just, Emma and I, we...
212
00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:11,379
we would tell him over and
over again how talented he is
213
00:08:11,387 --> 00:08:14,774
and to share his gift with the world.
214
00:08:15,975 --> 00:08:17,341
Sometimes I think he knows.
215
00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:19,771
- He just doesn't want to ruin the fun.
- Mm, that's nice.
216
00:08:19,793 --> 00:08:21,918
But he's ruined Steely
Dan for me forever.
217
00:08:21,943 --> 00:08:23,964
Like, I'll never be able
to listen to them again.
218
00:08:24,051 --> 00:08:27,182
He thinks it's "Stealing Dan,"
219
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:30,147
- like... like he's a thief.
- No.
220
00:08:30,164 --> 00:08:32,254
- And his name is Dan.
- Shut the fu...
221
00:08:32,275 --> 00:08:33,524
And that is his nickname.
222
00:08:33,545 --> 00:08:35,295
What a... just massive dork head.
223
00:08:35,311 --> 00:08:36,638
- [LAUGHS]
- Yes.
224
00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:37,768
He is.
225
00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:39,599
They both are.
226
00:08:41,784 --> 00:08:42,845
Oh.
227
00:08:44,487 --> 00:08:45,666
Peanut...
228
00:08:46,452 --> 00:08:47,788
it does get better.
229
00:08:47,823 --> 00:08:49,290
- Oh, yeah?
- [INHALES DEEPLY]
230
00:08:49,299 --> 00:08:51,457
Over time, it just...
it gets a little better.
231
00:08:51,493 --> 00:08:52,656
And...
232
00:08:53,752 --> 00:08:55,388
before you know it, you can...
233
00:08:56,051 --> 00:08:57,669
think of him and smile.
234
00:08:59,955 --> 00:09:01,090
You said "him."
235
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,475
- No.
- Yes, you did.
236
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:03,613
Just... I... okay.
237
00:09:03,638 --> 00:09:06,540
I meant "them," the Trakarskles.
238
00:09:06,668 --> 00:09:08,576
- What's their... 'cause... [LAUGHS]
- You...
239
00:09:08,618 --> 00:09:11,210
- Mom, you know that's not their name.
- [LAUGHS] Get over here.
240
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,194
[LAUGHTER]
241
00:09:13,249 --> 00:09:15,756
- The Trakarskys.
- The Trakarskys!
242
00:09:18,131 --> 00:09:19,861
Okay, you know, I kind
of wish Duffer McDrunk
243
00:09:19,882 --> 00:09:21,540
got all up in my business,
you know? So I could,
244
00:09:21,608 --> 00:09:23,843
like, show off my yoga fighting skills.
245
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:24,985
- Yoga fighting?
- Hmm?
246
00:09:25,019 --> 00:09:26,990
- You said, "Yoga fighting."
- I didn't.
247
00:09:28,286 --> 00:09:31,575
Okay, I happen to believe that my
yoga skills translate to combat.
248
00:09:32,574 --> 00:09:34,953
I'm gonna put a pin in that and
249
00:09:34,985 --> 00:09:37,394
tell you some exciting news
that's gonna cheer us both up.
250
00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:40,795
- Go for it.
- Okay, first we crashed the wedding,
251
00:09:40,801 --> 00:09:44,131
and that didn't work. And then
you kind of started a brawl
252
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:45,976
at the bachelorette party, and
that definitely didn't work.
253
00:09:45,992 --> 00:09:47,624
Uh, still waiting for the good part.
254
00:09:47,645 --> 00:09:49,401
Not only did we not get
voted off the island,
255
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,656
but she was deeply concerned
about me getting hurt.
256
00:09:51,671 --> 00:09:53,408
Uh, yeah, I'd say she
was, like, concerned
257
00:09:53,423 --> 00:09:56,157
in a minimally humane way, but go on.
258
00:09:56,172 --> 00:09:57,385
It's time to go big.
259
00:09:57,862 --> 00:09:59,271
It's time to strike.
260
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:02,334
[SIGHS] We need to
tell her we want to put
261
00:10:02,375 --> 00:10:04,851
- all the babies inside of her!
- Ew.
262
00:10:04,862 --> 00:10:06,277
Maybe, you know, you
can work on the message,
263
00:10:06,287 --> 00:10:07,857
because I am working on this,
264
00:10:07,878 --> 00:10:11,049
which is the medium, and it's lit!
265
00:10:11,355 --> 00:10:12,771
What do you think?
266
00:10:14,475 --> 00:10:15,931
Oh, you're gonna flash her.
267
00:10:15,973 --> 00:10:17,284
What? No. Um...
268
00:10:17,341 --> 00:10:18,538
Look, it's like...
269
00:10:19,196 --> 00:10:20,601
Touchdown.
270
00:10:20,614 --> 00:10:21,751
Goal?
271
00:10:21,772 --> 00:10:24,482
- I don't know. One of the sports things?
- Yes! You got it, honey.
272
00:10:24,544 --> 00:10:26,591
Because I bought a trench coat
273
00:10:26,637 --> 00:10:29,145
to become a referee because how
the fuck does that make sense?
274
00:10:29,156 --> 00:10:31,426
- I'm trying.
- Okay, you know what? I can...
275
00:10:31,438 --> 00:10:33,499
- Here, look.
- Huh?
276
00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:34,622
It's like...
277
00:10:39,732 --> 00:10:41,566
- You think we should go bigger?
- Yes.
278
00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:43,369
Yes, it should definitely be bigger.
279
00:10:43,564 --> 00:10:44,762
Yes.
280
00:10:44,792 --> 00:10:47,294
- You still have no idea, do you?
- I still don't know.
281
00:10:48,474 --> 00:10:51,442
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
282
00:10:51,477 --> 00:10:53,311
? ?
283
00:10:53,346 --> 00:10:55,254
[SOOTHING MUSIC PLAYS]
284
00:10:55,596 --> 00:10:57,448
[SNIFFS, BREATHES DEEPLY]
285
00:10:57,498 --> 00:10:59,410
I'm the bride here, kid.
286
00:10:59,619 --> 00:11:01,405
Right. Sorry. [SIGHS]
287
00:11:02,664 --> 00:11:04,064
Oh...
288
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:06,053
Nina told me to steal all the cucumbers
289
00:11:06,074 --> 00:11:08,459
- 'cause your budget is, um...
- "Fucktarded"?
290
00:11:08,494 --> 00:11:10,461
- That was it.
- Mm-hmm.
291
00:11:10,496 --> 00:11:13,743
? ?
292
00:11:14,023 --> 00:11:15,189
- Oh.
- Sorry.
293
00:11:15,226 --> 00:11:17,117
- Again.
- That's okay.
294
00:11:17,175 --> 00:11:18,269
It's okay.
295
00:11:18,304 --> 00:11:20,103
? ?
296
00:11:20,568 --> 00:11:22,123
I'm gonna say something.
297
00:11:22,170 --> 00:11:23,502
Okay.
298
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:26,677
What you're going through...
299
00:11:26,901 --> 00:11:28,846
you didn't invent it, okay?
300
00:11:29,528 --> 00:11:31,982
Sometimes love is enough.
301
00:11:32,017 --> 00:11:33,477
It finds a way,
302
00:11:33,876 --> 00:11:36,342
overcomes all the obstacles.
303
00:11:37,612 --> 00:11:41,792
Other times, just...
there's too many potholes,
304
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,705
broken glass,
305
00:11:44,797 --> 00:11:48,164
too many fellow travelers
trying to run you off the road.
306
00:11:48,199 --> 00:11:50,748
Are you saying that
we're giving up too easy?
307
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,142
I'm saying it's okay to give up.
308
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,971
[SIGHS] Hmm.
309
00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:58,140
Every relationship gets put on a scale,
310
00:11:58,542 --> 00:12:01,164
whether you're conscious of it or not.
311
00:12:02,146 --> 00:12:04,958
Love is just one of many stones.
312
00:12:06,497 --> 00:12:09,425
I see you ordered the
magic mushroom colonic.
313
00:12:09,446 --> 00:12:10,938
- Excellent choice.
- [CHUCKLES]
314
00:12:10,959 --> 00:12:13,753
I do love me a good colonic.
315
00:12:15,427 --> 00:12:19,028
Actually, those are some
very wise words, so thank you.
316
00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:21,361
But here's my last nugget...
317
00:12:22,019 --> 00:12:24,817
it ain't over just 'cause you say it is.
318
00:12:26,190 --> 00:12:27,553
Okay.
319
00:12:27,938 --> 00:12:29,704
Now I'm gonna say something.
320
00:12:30,062 --> 00:12:32,544
Something I never, ever,
ever thought I'd say
321
00:12:32,576 --> 00:12:34,658
in this lifetime or the next.
322
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:39,276
[SOFTLY] I'm glad you invited my mom.
323
00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:41,115
Hmm? I didn't hear you.
324
00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:44,996
I'm glad you invited...
325
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:46,717
my mother.
326
00:12:47,110 --> 00:12:48,488
Mm.
327
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,547
[SCOFFS]
328
00:12:55,614 --> 00:12:57,064
So you're being smug.
329
00:12:57,371 --> 00:12:59,004
Indeed I am.
330
00:12:59,092 --> 00:13:01,248
[SIGHS]
331
00:13:07,126 --> 00:13:09,949
We're not gonna do this for, like,
an uncomfortably long time, right?
332
00:13:09,950 --> 00:13:11,983
I feel like this is a
less-is-more situation.
333
00:13:11,994 --> 00:13:13,543
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
334
00:13:13,647 --> 00:13:15,104
[CLEARS THROAT]
335
00:13:15,618 --> 00:13:17,995
I'm really sorry that us Silvas
336
00:13:18,011 --> 00:13:21,090
hijacked your woodsy
wedding with all of our exes.
337
00:13:22,681 --> 00:13:26,842
I think my crazies have got
it out of their system, but...
338
00:13:27,671 --> 00:13:29,062
I don't know.
339
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,702
I hope so.
340
00:13:30,858 --> 00:13:34,227
It feels really... my
skin feels really...
341
00:13:35,953 --> 00:13:37,303
What the fuck?
342
00:13:37,339 --> 00:13:40,394
Lexi, play "In Your Eyes."
343
00:13:40,435 --> 00:13:43,395
Playing "Spanish Flies"
by the Nasty Ugly Fucks.
344
00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:45,767
- [PUNK MUSIC STARTS]
- I'm not sure I understand today's prom songs.
345
00:13:45,803 --> 00:13:47,483
No, uh, power down.
346
00:13:47,516 --> 00:13:49,364
- Reset.
- "In Your Eyes."
347
00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:51,012
Lexi, "In Your Eyes" by John Cusack.
348
00:13:51,033 --> 00:13:53,385
- No, Peter... Peter Gabriel.
- Wow.
349
00:13:53,922 --> 00:13:57,890
They have a weird
'80s Rom-com obsession.
350
00:13:57,925 --> 00:14:00,593
Yeah, except different, I guess.
351
00:14:00,628 --> 00:14:01,908
[MUSIC STOPS]
352
00:14:04,265 --> 00:14:06,531
Oh, great. Now everyone's
coming out here. Just...
353
00:14:07,691 --> 00:14:08,987
We were wrong.
354
00:14:09,013 --> 00:14:10,936
And we know that. But, Isabelle Silva...
355
00:14:11,008 --> 00:14:12,771
We want to put a baby inside of you!
356
00:14:12,807 --> 00:14:14,894
Well, we do, but, technically,
me, 'cause I have the...
357
00:14:14,925 --> 00:14:16,438
- Okay, you know...
- As many as you want.
358
00:14:16,478 --> 00:14:18,252
I just feel like
you're kind of hijacking
359
00:14:18,279 --> 00:14:21,579
the baby-making gesture, right?
Like, "I'm the wielder of sperm!"
360
00:14:21,605 --> 00:14:22,703
- It's a little...
- Guys.
361
00:14:22,735 --> 00:14:24,566
Sorry. Anyway, the point is,
362
00:14:24,753 --> 00:14:26,485
the plan is malleable,
363
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,654
and we want to make
an amendment for you.
364
00:14:32,053 --> 00:14:34,194
So what do you say? Are you in?
365
00:14:35,168 --> 00:14:36,961
Is that a yes or a... ?
366
00:14:36,997 --> 00:14:41,031
- [LEAF BLOWER WHIRRING]
- You two clearly do not fear me appropriately!
367
00:14:41,068 --> 00:14:42,534
- Oh, my God.
- Jesus Christ.
368
00:14:42,547 --> 00:14:44,069
Someone should really be filming this.
369
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,870
Try and keep up, pussycat.
370
00:14:46,006 --> 00:14:48,454
Totally gonna InstaTweet this.
371
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:50,275
Oh, yeah, InstaTweet.
372
00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:51,538
- Super cool, Mom.
- [CHUCKLES]
373
00:14:51,564 --> 00:14:54,446
Griswolds! I have 20
more centerpieces to make,
374
00:14:54,481 --> 00:14:56,209
a folk trio to reprimand,
375
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,751
a wow-inducing finale to plan,
376
00:14:57,764 --> 00:14:59,539
and a fucking tear-jerking
speech to write,
377
00:14:59,553 --> 00:15:01,482
so I'm gonna need you guys
to get out of my woods, okay?
378
00:15:01,487 --> 00:15:03,688
- [LEAF BLOWER WHIRRING]
- All right, I...
379
00:15:03,723 --> 00:15:06,314
Now! Okay? Go on! Git!
380
00:15:06,392 --> 00:15:09,190
Nina, can I... can I just have a sec?
381
00:15:09,429 --> 00:15:11,062
Just put it down.
382
00:15:11,231 --> 00:15:13,938
- Okay, fine.
- [LEAF BLOWER WHIRRING]
383
00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:16,310
- Sorry, that was just for me.
- Okay.
384
00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:19,503
[SOFT MUSIC]
385
00:15:19,539 --> 00:15:21,505
? ?
386
00:15:21,647 --> 00:15:22,808
We love you.
387
00:15:24,027 --> 00:15:25,358
I love you back.
388
00:15:26,042 --> 00:15:27,285
I thought we
389
00:15:27,579 --> 00:15:30,067
covered that pretty
thoroughly at the hotel, right?
390
00:15:30,581 --> 00:15:34,511
Yeah, but the... baby part was new.
391
00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,402
I mean, this isn't just
empty theater, right?
392
00:15:36,422 --> 00:15:38,176
- We're... we're really...
- I think Nina's right.
393
00:15:40,793 --> 00:15:42,529
It still doesn't change anything.
394
00:15:42,962 --> 00:15:45,696
? ?
395
00:15:45,866 --> 00:15:47,131
I think you should go.
396
00:15:47,567 --> 00:15:52,458
? ?
397
00:15:56,981 --> 00:15:58,041
Ben?
398
00:16:00,646 --> 00:16:02,247
[KNOCK AT DOOR, DOOR OPENS]
399
00:16:02,284 --> 00:16:04,982
Benjamin? [GASPS]
400
00:16:05,169 --> 00:16:06,334
Jess?
401
00:16:06,711 --> 00:16:08,071
Um...
402
00:16:09,655 --> 00:16:12,448
[CHUCKLES] Quite the
scene going on out there.
403
00:16:12,912 --> 00:16:14,894
Jack's got on a trench coat thing,
404
00:16:14,915 --> 00:16:17,555
and he's carrying a little
speaker with a song blaring out.
405
00:16:17,615 --> 00:16:18,729
"Say Anything."
406
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:19,930
Does it seem like I'm holding back?
407
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,760
The John Cusack movie?
408
00:16:21,775 --> 00:16:23,976
If you say so. Anyway,
I think they're leaving.
409
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:27,872
- Um, can... can we talk?
- Yeah, uh, yeah.
410
00:16:27,893 --> 00:16:30,932
- Sure. I'm just waking up, so...
- Lala's right.
411
00:16:31,352 --> 00:16:32,673
I love you...
412
00:16:33,578 --> 00:16:36,068
- maybe more now than ever.
- Jess, I...
413
00:16:37,036 --> 00:16:39,149
It's okay. No, Ben, listen to me.
414
00:16:39,379 --> 00:16:40,970
I'm not blind.
415
00:16:41,586 --> 00:16:43,586
I know you're really happy,
416
00:16:43,618 --> 00:16:45,597
and... and that makes
me really happy, too,
417
00:16:46,017 --> 00:16:48,758
but I also want to knock you out,
418
00:16:48,793 --> 00:16:50,334
roll you in a carpet, and...
419
00:16:50,702 --> 00:16:53,609
I don't know... haul you
off to some remote cabin,
420
00:16:53,625 --> 00:16:57,457
- chain you to be bed, break your legs.
- "Misery."
421
00:16:57,468 --> 00:16:59,287
Yeah, it's really hard.
422
00:16:59,961 --> 00:17:01,800
- Oh, no.
- [DOOR OPENS]
423
00:17:01,810 --> 00:17:03,473
Well, I'll just wait out here until...
424
00:17:03,508 --> 00:17:04,740
Mom!
425
00:17:04,776 --> 00:17:05,852
No, I...
426
00:17:05,951 --> 00:17:08,681
- I... she...
- Don't... don't...
427
00:17:09,323 --> 00:17:10,717
follow me.
428
00:17:11,015 --> 00:17:12,615
- [SIGHS]
- Okay.
429
00:17:12,651 --> 00:17:15,785
Um, just for the record,
uh, I didn't see that coming.
430
00:17:15,806 --> 00:17:17,873
One second we were
talking, and then all of...
431
00:17:17,889 --> 00:17:19,272
Okay, I can totally back that up, okay?
432
00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:20,376
- That was super sudden.
- You know what?
433
00:17:20,392 --> 00:17:21,651
- Really fast.
- I don't care.
434
00:17:21,659 --> 00:17:23,299
- You guys are always doing this.
- Hey.
435
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,459
We just wanted to wish...
436
00:17:24,495 --> 00:17:26,361
- Ben and Lala...
- [GROANS]
437
00:17:26,397 --> 00:17:27,678
You guys seem busy.
438
00:17:27,704 --> 00:17:29,150
- Yeah, we'll, um,
- We're gonna...
439
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,161
- We'll come back.
- Uh-uh. No. Get the fuck in here.
440
00:17:31,197 --> 00:17:32,907
Now you want us to stay?
441
00:17:33,632 --> 00:17:35,290
You can leave immediately after
442
00:17:35,306 --> 00:17:37,258
the mess you've made is cleaned up.
443
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:39,746
What is wrong with you people?
444
00:17:39,761 --> 00:17:41,677
Why is the answer to everything running?
445
00:17:41,713 --> 00:17:43,383
Don't look at me. I heard what I said.
446
00:17:43,389 --> 00:17:45,311
Isn't it obvious, Izzy?
447
00:17:45,757 --> 00:17:47,282
Lala is too good for me.
448
00:17:47,318 --> 00:17:49,747
I don't deserve her
or Hawthorne Heights.
449
00:17:49,959 --> 00:17:52,301
- Ben, that's not true.
- Yeah, she loves you.
450
00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:54,478
- So do we.
- Yeah.
451
00:17:54,587 --> 00:17:56,958
Ben, um...
452
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,737
what I really came to say was this.
453
00:18:00,950 --> 00:18:02,976
I still love you, and I
know you still love me.
454
00:18:02,986 --> 00:18:04,167
That was never the problem.
455
00:18:04,214 --> 00:18:06,568
I think we managed to
destroy everything but that.
456
00:18:06,604 --> 00:18:08,044
You and Lala work,
457
00:18:08,439 --> 00:18:10,443
and I want that for you,
458
00:18:10,853 --> 00:18:12,153
I want it for me, too.
459
00:18:12,169 --> 00:18:14,454
That's beside the point.
I was gonna close with,
460
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:18,227
"So go marry that amazing
woman before I do."
461
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,748
That's pretty good.
462
00:18:22,198 --> 00:18:24,572
And then, Benjamin, I was, um...
463
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,893
[CRYING] I was gonna give you this.
464
00:18:30,546 --> 00:18:32,116
That's Grandma's ring.
465
00:18:32,132 --> 00:18:33,603
It's Lala's now.
466
00:18:34,510 --> 00:18:35,830
One more thing...
467
00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:37,889
she wants to be found, okay?
468
00:18:38,135 --> 00:18:39,533
You dumbass, go.
469
00:18:39,569 --> 00:18:41,569
[SIGHS]
470
00:18:41,604 --> 00:18:47,652
? ?
471
00:18:48,725 --> 00:18:50,383
I know where she is.
472
00:18:50,613 --> 00:18:51,979
I got this.
473
00:18:52,415 --> 00:18:55,349
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
474
00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:57,785
? ?
475
00:18:57,820 --> 00:19:00,669
I'd like to dedicate this
next number to nobody.
476
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,069
'Cause he doesn't deserve it.
477
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:06,749
? ?
478
00:19:06,930 --> 00:19:10,749
? After you've gone ?
479
00:19:11,029 --> 00:19:14,331
? And left me cryin' ?
480
00:19:14,372 --> 00:19:17,705
? After you've gone ?
481
00:19:18,611 --> 00:19:21,388
? There's no denyin' ?
482
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:25,332
? You'll feel blue ?
483
00:19:25,368 --> 00:19:29,208
? You'll feel sad ?
484
00:19:29,773 --> 00:19:36,546
? You'll miss the sweetest
love you've ever had ?
485
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:40,432
? After you've gone ?
486
00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:48,614
? After you've gone away ?
487
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:53,640
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
488
00:19:53,965 --> 00:19:55,508
Bravo!
489
00:19:55,544 --> 00:19:59,011
Namaste, motherfuckers. Namaste.
490
00:19:59,047 --> 00:20:01,914
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FADE]
491
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:03,251
Bravo.
492
00:20:07,578 --> 00:20:09,760
- How about an autograph?
- Don't have a pen.
493
00:20:10,346 --> 00:20:12,725
You got an opening for
a middle-aged groupie?
494
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,312
The kiss was a surprise.
495
00:20:21,736 --> 00:20:23,173
You're right.
496
00:20:24,215 --> 00:20:27,049
Jess and I were a
story without an ending.
497
00:20:27,645 --> 00:20:29,293
But we have one now.
498
00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:33,570
And I am so, so sorry that...
499
00:20:33,585 --> 00:20:36,025
Well, you should've thought
of that before you let her in.
500
00:20:37,041 --> 00:20:39,368
'Cause I'm dating that
drunk guy over there now.
501
00:20:39,466 --> 00:20:41,648
And he's a real rocket in the sack.
502
00:20:41,891 --> 00:20:43,923
Hey, honey, wake up! [SNAPS FINGERS]
503
00:20:44,491 --> 00:20:46,463
- He's tired.
- [CHUCKLES]
504
00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:52,261
What are you doing? What's happening?
505
00:20:52,266 --> 00:20:54,039
Lala... [CLEARS THROAT]
506
00:20:54,201 --> 00:20:55,376
Holy cats.
507
00:20:55,817 --> 00:20:57,402
It's my grandmother's.
508
00:20:57,812 --> 00:21:00,689
But I... I already have this
turquoise number we got in Sedona?
509
00:21:00,707 --> 00:21:03,083
Okay, you know what? I like
the bigger one. Let's...
510
00:21:08,114 --> 00:21:10,219
Oh, my God, it's so sparkly.
511
00:21:15,789 --> 00:21:18,689
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
512
00:21:24,597 --> 00:21:26,584
You know, I cannot wait to spend
513
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,129
every moment of the
rest of my life with you.
514
00:21:30,387 --> 00:21:31,885
Crazy idea...
515
00:21:31,926 --> 00:21:34,232
all these babies running around,
516
00:21:34,284 --> 00:21:36,435
- let's say we adopt one for ourselves?
- Nope.
517
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:39,683
- How about we spend a week snorkeling in Roat�n!
- Yes. That one.
518
00:21:39,711 --> 00:21:40,944
Great.
519
00:21:40,979 --> 00:21:43,947
[SOFT MUSIC]
520
00:21:43,982 --> 00:21:50,053
? ?
521
00:21:50,088 --> 00:21:51,690
- Hey.
- Hey.
522
00:21:52,307 --> 00:21:53,590
- Hey.
- Hi.
523
00:21:53,625 --> 00:21:55,349
Excuse me. Um...
524
00:21:56,227 --> 00:21:58,349
- I'm really sorry.
- Oh, don't be.
525
00:21:58,630 --> 00:22:01,163
Apparently everything went
down exactly as it had to.
526
00:22:01,401 --> 00:22:02,966
I'm really proud of both of you.
527
00:22:03,001 --> 00:22:04,474
- I know.
- [CHUCKLES]
528
00:22:04,837 --> 00:22:06,035
I love you.
529
00:22:06,071 --> 00:22:07,563
I love you, too, Peanut...
530
00:22:08,607 --> 00:22:10,144
so much.
531
00:22:13,325 --> 00:22:14,771
[SIGHS]
532
00:22:15,041 --> 00:22:17,666
- Can we have a minute?
- Oh, gosh, honey, yeah, of course.
533
00:22:17,682 --> 00:22:19,114
- Love you.
- I love you, too.
534
00:22:19,366 --> 00:22:23,385
[SOFT MUSIC]
535
00:22:23,512 --> 00:22:25,554
- So...
- [CAR DOOR CLOSES]
536
00:22:25,590 --> 00:22:27,151
So...
537
00:22:29,244 --> 00:22:31,364
[CLEARS THROAT] Well, s...
538
00:22:32,069 --> 00:22:34,630
suddenly this good-bye feels very real.
539
00:22:36,846 --> 00:22:39,023
I think that's because it is.
540
00:22:40,215 --> 00:22:42,148
Iz, for all the parts that hurt you...
541
00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:43,939
Yeah, we're really sorry.
542
00:22:44,081 --> 00:22:45,553
Me too.
543
00:22:45,976 --> 00:22:49,276
? ?
544
00:22:49,776 --> 00:22:51,741
Okay, so I guess...
545
00:22:51,982 --> 00:22:53,126
[SNIFFLES]
546
00:22:56,290 --> 00:22:57,952
G... good-bye?
547
00:22:57,988 --> 00:23:00,087
? ?
548
00:23:00,331 --> 00:23:01,492
Good-bye.
549
00:23:01,670 --> 00:23:05,940
? ?
550
00:23:06,329 --> 00:23:08,966
[SOBBING]
551
00:23:09,277 --> 00:23:11,106
[SNIFFLES]
552
00:23:11,401 --> 00:23:15,492
? ?
553
00:23:18,576 --> 00:23:20,532
[CAR DOORS OPEN]
554
00:23:22,144 --> 00:23:23,273
[SOBS]
555
00:23:26,982 --> 00:23:29,049
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
556
00:23:29,084 --> 00:23:31,304
? Will turn to dust ?
557
00:23:31,432 --> 00:23:34,595
? Blow away in winds that
chuckle when they gust ?
558
00:23:34,649 --> 00:23:35,831
We love you.
559
00:23:35,988 --> 00:23:38,546
? They can't touch the patterns of ?
560
00:23:39,229 --> 00:23:42,583
? The footprints that we leave ?
561
00:23:42,831 --> 00:23:44,452
[CRIES]
562
00:23:44,663 --> 00:23:47,628
? So when the moon sways... ?
563
00:23:47,769 --> 00:23:49,780
[SIGHS] Good-bye.
564
00:23:49,813 --> 00:23:51,612
? Your breath will waver ?
565
00:23:51,700 --> 00:23:53,926
? Your memories will flash ?
566
00:23:54,308 --> 00:23:57,314
? All the tides will blanket you ?
567
00:23:57,869 --> 00:24:00,747
? Like mountains in the sea ?
568
00:24:01,049 --> 00:24:04,018
? ?
569
00:24:04,267 --> 00:24:10,636
? And your tears will disappear ?
570
00:24:10,892 --> 00:24:13,269
? Someday ?
571
00:24:13,795 --> 00:24:19,683
? Your tears will disappear ?
572
00:24:19,734 --> 00:24:22,278
? ?
573
00:24:23,314 --> 00:24:29,011
? Your tears will disappear ?
574
00:24:31,980 --> 00:24:34,946
[INTENSE TONES]
575
00:24:35,711 --> 00:24:37,369
[WHOOSHING]
40962
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