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1
00:00:06,758 --> 00:00:07,862
[both sip]
2
00:00:07,931 --> 00:00:09,620
- God, this coffee sucks.
3
00:00:09,689 --> 00:00:10,965
- It's next level terrible.
4
00:00:11,034 --> 00:00:12,034
- If I had a time machine,
5
00:00:12,103 --> 00:00:13,482
I would go back
and kill Hitler.
6
00:00:13,551 --> 00:00:15,275
But only because I'm convinced
Hitler is still alive...
7
00:00:15,344 --> 00:00:16,689
[fly buzzing]
8
00:00:16,758 --> 00:00:18,620
And his job is brewing
the coffee at this office.
9
00:00:18,689 --> 00:00:20,896
[light orchestral music]
10
00:00:20,965 --> 00:00:22,103
- I fantasized about my death
11
00:00:22,172 --> 00:00:23,620
during Peggy's
presentation again.
12
00:00:23,689 --> 00:00:25,068
This time,
I drove off a cliff.
13
00:00:25,137 --> 00:00:26,275
We were both in the car though,
14
00:00:26,344 --> 00:00:27,482
so at least I took
her down with me.
15
00:00:27,551 --> 00:00:29,344
- I just don't feel safe
in the office
16
00:00:29,413 --> 00:00:31,620
with a man who decorates
using action figures.
17
00:00:31,689 --> 00:00:35,103
- So Linda will not stop
emailing me OK Go videos.
18
00:00:35,172 --> 00:00:36,551
[chuckles]
[fly buzzing]
19
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:37,896
Get out of here.
20
00:00:37,965 --> 00:00:40,724
- His big business idea
was "thick milk."
21
00:00:40,793 --> 00:00:43,103
I was like,
"Bitch, that's yogurt."
22
00:00:43,172 --> 00:00:45,586
- Jane's sneezes
are performative.
23
00:00:45,655 --> 00:00:47,482
It's like if you really
want attention that bad,
24
00:00:47,551 --> 00:00:49,620
Munchausen your daughter.
25
00:00:49,689 --> 00:00:51,241
Oh, hey, Jane.
- Ah...ah...ah...
26
00:00:51,310 --> 00:00:52,551
Ah-choo!
27
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:55,551
[rock music]
28
00:00:55,620 --> 00:01:02,724
♪ ♪
29
00:01:10,931 --> 00:01:13,137
[fly buzzing]
30
00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:14,137
[elevator chimes]
31
00:01:14,206 --> 00:01:16,275
- Christian is a psychopath.
32
00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:18,275
And while I've never actually
looked that word up,
33
00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:21,137
I'm pretty certain
I'm using it right here.
34
00:01:22,379 --> 00:01:24,172
I can't believe
he wants to build
35
00:01:24,241 --> 00:01:26,482
a hurricane machine.
36
00:01:26,551 --> 00:01:27,758
I think he's finally lost it.
37
00:01:27,827 --> 00:01:28,931
- Kate!
38
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,931
I'd rather not speak ill
of Christian.
39
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,275
As the neighbor who raised me
40
00:01:32,344 --> 00:01:34,310
from ages seven to nine
used to say,
41
00:01:34,379 --> 00:01:36,413
"If you don't have
anything nice to say,
42
00:01:36,482 --> 00:01:37,758
say it to your priest."
43
00:01:37,827 --> 00:01:38,862
[elevator chimes]
44
00:01:38,931 --> 00:01:40,137
Right.
45
00:01:40,206 --> 00:01:42,206
Nighty-night, gals.
46
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:48,689
- John's great.
47
00:01:48,758 --> 00:01:50,620
- Yeah.
48
00:01:50,689 --> 00:01:52,931
- You guys are friends, right?
49
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,586
- We work together
on a lot of projects.
50
00:01:56,655 --> 00:01:58,931
- That must be...
51
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,034
interesting?
52
00:02:01,103 --> 00:02:02,034
[intriguing music]
53
00:02:02,103 --> 00:02:04,448
- Yeah.
54
00:02:04,517 --> 00:02:05,965
Sometimes,
55
00:02:06,034 --> 00:02:08,034
he can be a little...
56
00:02:08,103 --> 00:02:10,965
[heart thumping]
57
00:02:11,931 --> 00:02:14,034
Much.
58
00:02:14,103 --> 00:02:15,310
- Yeah.
59
00:02:15,379 --> 00:02:18,275
Sometimes, I wonder
if he can be a little...
60
00:02:18,344 --> 00:02:19,517
[heart thumping]
61
00:02:19,586 --> 00:02:20,724
too...
62
00:02:20,793 --> 00:02:23,310
[heart thumping]
63
00:02:23,379 --> 00:02:25,344
Much?
64
00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:26,344
[light music]
65
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:27,517
[elevator chimes]
66
00:02:27,586 --> 00:02:29,827
- It's like he's a robot
67
00:02:29,896 --> 00:02:32,310
programmed to drive me crazy.
68
00:02:32,379 --> 00:02:34,482
- Robot technology
isn't advanced enough
69
00:02:34,551 --> 00:02:36,275
to create something
as annoying as John.
70
00:02:36,344 --> 00:02:37,482
- He's from Hell.
71
00:02:37,551 --> 00:02:38,724
- He's the devil.
72
00:02:38,793 --> 00:02:40,758
That's why he's
so obsessed with God!
73
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,448
- [laughs]
- Sibling rivalry!
74
00:02:43,517 --> 00:02:44,862
- Wow.
75
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:47,758
Guess I'll see you tomorrow.
76
00:02:47,827 --> 00:02:54,862
♪ ♪
77
00:02:57,034 --> 00:02:58,482
- The only people stupider
78
00:02:58,551 --> 00:03:00,827
than the people who claim
climate change isn't real
79
00:03:00,896 --> 00:03:03,551
are the people who think
we can do anything about it.
80
00:03:03,620 --> 00:03:05,034
- Wow.
81
00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:06,310
- The paper straw.
82
00:03:06,379 --> 00:03:07,655
Works terribly.
83
00:03:07,724 --> 00:03:10,448
Doesn't make a lick
of difference but...
84
00:03:10,517 --> 00:03:13,206
it makes people feel like
they're doing their parts.
85
00:03:13,275 --> 00:03:14,517
- Mm.
86
00:03:14,586 --> 00:03:17,448
- Can anyone see where
I'm going with this?
87
00:03:17,517 --> 00:03:19,793
- Uh, you wanna make money
88
00:03:19,862 --> 00:03:21,068
by coming up with a product
89
00:03:21,137 --> 00:03:22,758
that doesn't really
help the environment
90
00:03:22,827 --> 00:03:26,344
but makes people feel
morally superior for buying it?
91
00:03:26,413 --> 00:03:28,172
- Ding, ding, ding!
Way to go, Jane.
92
00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:29,655
[chuckles]
- Yes.
93
00:03:29,724 --> 00:03:31,448
- [sips]
Oh.
94
00:03:31,517 --> 00:03:34,310
This coffee is
wretched and foul.
95
00:03:34,379 --> 00:03:36,724
- It sounds like
the start of a limerick.
96
00:03:36,793 --> 00:03:37,931
- [scoffs]
97
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,448
- This coffee is
wretched and foul.
98
00:03:40,517 --> 00:03:42,758
The maker of
this brew should...
99
00:03:42,827 --> 00:03:43,931
- Throw in the towel.
100
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:44,931
- [laughs]
Nice.
101
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,137
- We should say this to Tammy.
102
00:03:46,206 --> 00:03:47,137
Maybe she'll take the hint,
103
00:03:47,206 --> 00:03:48,275
and start making better coffee.
104
00:03:48,344 --> 00:03:49,758
- I don't know.
105
00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:51,793
Face to face confrontation
feels a little aggressive.
106
00:03:51,862 --> 00:03:53,586
I wish there was
something in between
107
00:03:53,655 --> 00:03:55,551
being passive
and being aggressive.
108
00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:56,724
- Drinky, drinky.
109
00:03:56,793 --> 00:03:57,896
- I just don't know
the term for it.
110
00:03:57,965 --> 00:04:00,241
- Since someone's done
the paper straw,
111
00:04:00,310 --> 00:04:02,172
why don't we do
a plastic straw?
112
00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:03,724
- I was just thinking that.
Yeah.
113
00:04:03,793 --> 00:04:05,206
Great idea, Kev.
- Mm.
114
00:04:05,275 --> 00:04:06,551
- John, that doesn't
make any sense.
115
00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:08,586
Plastic straws are the problem.
- Problem, yeah.
116
00:04:08,655 --> 00:04:10,172
You know I was
just thinking that?
117
00:04:10,241 --> 00:04:11,931
But piggybacking
off Kev's idea...
118
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,379
- Yeah.
- About plastic straws.
119
00:04:13,448 --> 00:04:16,103
What about--does--does
wooden straws make sense?
120
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:18,620
- People feel guilty about
their cars and the environment.
121
00:04:18,689 --> 00:04:21,793
What if we did Lyft but with--
I don't know--horses?
122
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,034
- Horses.
Yep.
123
00:04:23,103 --> 00:04:24,551
I was just thinking that.
124
00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:25,896
Great idea, both of us.
125
00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:27,344
Mostly me.
126
00:04:27,413 --> 00:04:29,275
[door whines, blinds click]
127
00:04:29,344 --> 00:04:30,517
[water bubbling]
128
00:04:32,137 --> 00:04:34,758
[light music]
129
00:04:34,827 --> 00:04:36,413
- Also, have you noticed
130
00:04:36,482 --> 00:04:38,241
that Jake's been
ending conversations
131
00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:39,965
by saying, "Peace" now?
132
00:04:40,034 --> 00:04:41,758
- [laughs]
- Where did that come from?
133
00:04:41,827 --> 00:04:43,793
- As long as it means
he's leaving the room,
134
00:04:43,862 --> 00:04:46,000
I'm fine with whatever he says.
135
00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:48,793
- You know, it's funny.
I was just thinking that.
136
00:04:48,862 --> 00:04:50,103
- You know, that's hilarious.
137
00:04:50,172 --> 00:04:51,793
Because I was just thinking
138
00:04:51,862 --> 00:04:53,275
that you were
just thinking that.
139
00:04:53,344 --> 00:04:54,965
[both laughing]
140
00:04:55,034 --> 00:04:56,068
Oh!
141
00:04:56,137 --> 00:04:57,586
I almost forgot to tell you.
142
00:04:57,655 --> 00:04:59,896
I saw John drop
143
00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:01,862
a comb
144
00:05:01,931 --> 00:05:04,172
out of his breast pocket
yesterday.
145
00:05:04,241 --> 00:05:05,344
- What?
146
00:05:05,413 --> 00:05:06,586
Hair comb or honey comb?
147
00:05:06,655 --> 00:05:09,103
- A honey comb
would've been less weird.
148
00:05:09,172 --> 00:05:11,275
I tried giving it back to him,
149
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:14,103
and he vehemently denied
that it was his.
150
00:05:14,172 --> 00:05:15,931
- Oh, my God.
151
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,137
We have to get
to the bottom of this.
152
00:05:18,206 --> 00:05:19,620
- If I get any leads,
153
00:05:19,689 --> 00:05:22,103
you will be the first to know.
154
00:05:22,172 --> 00:05:23,551
[dish clinks]
155
00:05:23,620 --> 00:05:26,103
[phones ringing distantly]
156
00:05:26,172 --> 00:05:29,103
[suspenseful music]
157
00:05:29,172 --> 00:05:32,758
- "The coffee here
is wretched and foul.
158
00:05:32,827 --> 00:05:35,448
"The maker of the coffee
should throw in the towel.
159
00:05:35,517 --> 00:05:37,827
"Let someone else make
our brew
160
00:05:37,896 --> 00:05:41,448
"so we don't feel
like we're going to spew
161
00:05:41,517 --> 00:05:44,103
chunks"?
162
00:05:44,172 --> 00:05:45,551
- Pretty creative, huh?
163
00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:47,448
- It's not gonna make
the coffee better,
164
00:05:47,517 --> 00:05:49,551
but at least you're hurting
someone's feelings.
165
00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:51,103
- Eh, that's a win too.
166
00:05:51,172 --> 00:05:53,551
Hi, Tammy.
- Hey, Tammy.
167
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,379
- Hey, Matt.
Hey, Jake.
168
00:05:57,379 --> 00:06:03,965
♪ ♪
169
00:06:04,034 --> 00:06:07,000
[horror music]
170
00:06:08,310 --> 00:06:11,517
- Oh, uh, I guess we should
get back to the grind.
171
00:06:12,827 --> 00:06:14,931
- Peace.
172
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,275
[dramatic orchestral music]
173
00:06:16,344 --> 00:06:17,931
[bird caws]
174
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:18,965
♪ ♪
175
00:06:19,034 --> 00:06:20,344
[car horn toots]
176
00:06:22,137 --> 00:06:25,068
[muffled upbeat pop rock music]
177
00:06:25,137 --> 00:06:26,758
- Oh.
178
00:06:26,827 --> 00:06:32,344
♪ ♪
179
00:06:32,413 --> 00:06:34,275
[sighs]
180
00:06:34,344 --> 00:06:36,344
[chuckles]
181
00:06:37,827 --> 00:06:40,586
[dramatic music]
182
00:06:40,655 --> 00:06:42,724
[elevator chimes]
183
00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:44,000
- Good morning.
184
00:06:44,068 --> 00:06:46,310
I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
185
00:06:46,379 --> 00:06:47,379
Sir Mr. DeVille,
Leader of Men.
186
00:06:54,724 --> 00:06:57,206
[keys clacking]
Oh, my God.
187
00:06:57,275 --> 00:06:59,413
I figured out the mystery
188
00:06:59,482 --> 00:07:01,206
with John and the comb.
189
00:07:01,275 --> 00:07:05,034
I can't wait to tell you.
190
00:07:05,103 --> 00:07:07,758
And...send.
191
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,068
[sighs]
192
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,689
- I actually like
OK Go videos.
193
00:07:10,758 --> 00:07:11,896
They're such a clever band.
194
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,448
- Hey, Tammy.
- Hi, Tammy.
195
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,517
- Hey, Matt.
Hey, Jake.
196
00:07:18,862 --> 00:07:20,206
[suspenseful music]
197
00:07:20,275 --> 00:07:22,931
- "The writers of the note
have shit for brains.
198
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,896
They act like they're tough
but have no game."
199
00:07:25,965 --> 00:07:27,758
- "They wouldn't know
what to do with good coffee
200
00:07:27,827 --> 00:07:29,413
"if it bit them in the...
201
00:07:29,482 --> 00:07:31,275
both: Ass.
202
00:07:33,103 --> 00:07:36,137
- I guess I should get
back to the grind.
203
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,448
[whispers]
Peace.
204
00:07:38,517 --> 00:07:41,448
[dramatic orchestral music]
205
00:07:41,517 --> 00:07:42,724
♪ ♪
206
00:07:42,793 --> 00:07:44,620
[bird caws]
207
00:07:44,689 --> 00:07:46,310
[computer beeps]
208
00:07:46,379 --> 00:07:47,551
- What?
209
00:07:48,862 --> 00:07:50,965
[bass drops]
[gasps]
210
00:07:51,034 --> 00:07:53,310
Fuck me!
I emailed Christian!
211
00:07:56,862 --> 00:07:58,965
- [exhales]
212
00:07:59,034 --> 00:08:01,034
[knocks]
213
00:08:01,103 --> 00:08:03,068
- Come in.
[voice echoes]
214
00:08:03,137 --> 00:08:05,896
[suspenseful music]
215
00:08:05,965 --> 00:08:12,862
♪ ♪
216
00:08:14,586 --> 00:08:16,689
I received an email.
217
00:08:16,758 --> 00:08:20,068
I have to say,
I was a bit, um, surprised.
218
00:08:21,137 --> 00:08:25,000
Most people would never dare
to send me such an email.
219
00:08:25,068 --> 00:08:26,344
So...
220
00:08:26,413 --> 00:08:29,241
I guess I just
have one question.
221
00:08:31,551 --> 00:08:34,241
What is up with John
and the comb?
222
00:08:34,310 --> 00:08:35,965
- Oh!
223
00:08:36,034 --> 00:08:37,448
Um.
224
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,586
Well, yes.
So...
225
00:08:39,655 --> 00:08:41,068
Earlier this week,
226
00:08:41,137 --> 00:08:44,103
I saw John drop a comb
out of his pocket.
227
00:08:44,172 --> 00:08:45,655
- Okay, first of all--
228
00:08:45,724 --> 00:08:47,068
What?
[laughs]
229
00:08:47,137 --> 00:08:48,758
Why would a bald man
have a comb?
230
00:08:48,827 --> 00:08:50,000
- That's what I was wondering!
231
00:08:50,068 --> 00:08:52,034
Then when I tried
to give it back,
232
00:08:52,103 --> 00:08:54,034
he denied the comb was his.
233
00:08:54,103 --> 00:08:55,793
- Oh, okay, now this
is just getting weird.
234
00:08:55,862 --> 00:08:58,068
- So I come in this morning...
- Oh, this is today?
235
00:08:58,137 --> 00:08:59,068
I'm sorry.
I'm interrupting.
236
00:08:59,137 --> 00:09:00,172
You go.
237
00:09:00,241 --> 00:09:01,482
- And I'm in
the parking garage,
238
00:09:01,551 --> 00:09:04,137
and I see him
sitting in his car
239
00:09:04,206 --> 00:09:07,241
combing his bald head.
240
00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:08,827
- I am freaking out
right now!
241
00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:11,655
I could flip.
- I'm not done.
242
00:09:11,724 --> 00:09:14,793
This is where it gets
really weird.
243
00:09:14,862 --> 00:09:17,896
He started combing an invisible
244
00:09:17,965 --> 00:09:20,793
pony tail!
245
00:09:20,862 --> 00:09:22,344
- High and tight, or side?
246
00:09:22,413 --> 00:09:23,931
- Hard to say.
247
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,137
But I could tell
he was imagining bangs!
248
00:09:26,206 --> 00:09:28,137
- [laughing]
249
00:09:28,206 --> 00:09:30,344
Now that is haunting!
- [laughs]
250
00:09:30,413 --> 00:09:32,241
- By the way,
have you ever noticed
251
00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:33,793
how in meetings
he always says,
252
00:09:33,862 --> 00:09:35,310
"Oh, I was just thinking that."
253
00:09:35,379 --> 00:09:37,034
- You know, I was
just thinking that.
254
00:09:37,103 --> 00:09:38,655
- I was just thinking that.
- I was thinking that.
255
00:09:38,724 --> 00:09:39,758
- No, really, I was.
I was thinking that.
256
00:09:39,827 --> 00:09:42,448
[both laughing]
257
00:09:42,517 --> 00:09:44,827
- What rhymes with coffee
other than toffee?
258
00:09:44,896 --> 00:09:46,448
- Law degree.
- Nope.
259
00:09:46,517 --> 00:09:48,034
That's an approximate rhyme,
Jake, okay?
260
00:09:48,103 --> 00:09:50,344
Tammy may trade
in AABCD rhyme schemes
261
00:09:50,413 --> 00:09:51,517
but we're better than that.
262
00:09:51,586 --> 00:09:52,551
- What about Gaddafi?
263
00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:54,206
- [scoffs]
264
00:09:54,275 --> 00:09:56,172
Actually, that's pretty good.
We'll go with Gaddafi.
265
00:09:56,241 --> 00:09:57,689
[metal clinks,
cork pops]
266
00:09:57,758 --> 00:09:59,206
[champagne splashing]
267
00:09:59,862 --> 00:10:01,551
- Can you believe
she said that?
268
00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:03,103
- [chuckles]
Oh, I can believe it.
269
00:10:03,172 --> 00:10:04,413
And that's the problem.
270
00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:06,172
[both laughing]
What a buffoon!
271
00:10:06,241 --> 00:10:08,620
- Also, it's like,
who asked you?
272
00:10:08,689 --> 00:10:10,275
- I've been working
on an impression for you.
273
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:12,241
Guess who this is.
[clears throat]
274
00:10:12,310 --> 00:10:14,689
I love my cat.
And I wanna die.
275
00:10:14,758 --> 00:10:16,551
- [laughs]
Jake!
276
00:10:16,620 --> 00:10:19,517
- Ding, ding, ding!
[both laughing]
277
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,689
[light music]
278
00:10:21,758 --> 00:10:23,896
[indistinct chatter]
279
00:10:23,965 --> 00:10:30,931
♪ ♪
280
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,172
- What if we put hidden spikes
in the saddles
281
00:10:34,241 --> 00:10:36,517
that spring out if someone
tries to steal the horse?
282
00:10:36,586 --> 00:10:38,034
- Any experienced horse thief
283
00:10:38,103 --> 00:10:39,862
would just remove the saddle
and ride bareback.
284
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:41,310
- You know,
I was just thinking that.
285
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:42,689
- You ever notice how loudly
286
00:10:42,758 --> 00:10:44,931
Matt and Jake talk
to each other during meetings?
287
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,896
- I hear every word.
[both laughing]
288
00:10:46,965 --> 00:10:48,724
What a pair of buffoons.
289
00:10:48,793 --> 00:10:50,068
[both laughing]
290
00:10:50,137 --> 00:10:53,068
[light music]
291
00:10:53,137 --> 00:10:56,068
[indistinct chatter]
292
00:10:56,137 --> 00:11:01,000
♪ ♪
293
00:11:01,068 --> 00:11:02,344
[champagne cork pops]
294
00:11:02,413 --> 00:11:04,655
- And now, I have this huge
stack of complaints
295
00:11:04,724 --> 00:11:06,000
that all started because
296
00:11:06,068 --> 00:11:08,103
fucking Tad replied all
to an email.
297
00:11:08,172 --> 00:11:09,172
Huh.
298
00:11:09,241 --> 00:11:11,103
Now people keep
replying all to say,
299
00:11:11,172 --> 00:11:12,862
"Stop replying all."
300
00:11:12,931 --> 00:11:15,344
It's chaos.
[laughs]
301
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:16,689
- Oh.
302
00:11:16,758 --> 00:11:18,310
You know who we somehow
never talk about?
303
00:11:18,379 --> 00:11:21,000
- Who?
- Kate.
304
00:11:21,068 --> 00:11:23,655
Sometimes, she can be
a little, um...
305
00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:27,034
much...
don't you think?
306
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,379
- Yeah.
307
00:11:28,448 --> 00:11:31,068
Sometimes I wonder
308
00:11:31,137 --> 00:11:33,000
if she can be a little bit...
309
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:36,379
[heart thumping]
310
00:11:36,448 --> 00:11:38,482
Too much?
311
00:11:38,551 --> 00:11:41,310
- She thinks she's
the Hermione Granger
312
00:11:41,379 --> 00:11:42,827
of Hampton DeVille
when really...
313
00:11:42,896 --> 00:11:44,517
she's Neville Longbottom.
314
00:11:44,586 --> 00:11:46,862
[chuckles]
Obviously, I'm Dumbledore.
315
00:11:46,931 --> 00:11:48,758
Or maybe Harry.
[chuckles]
316
00:11:48,827 --> 00:11:50,758
If he's older
and better looking.
317
00:11:50,827 --> 00:11:52,172
[knocking]
- Grace.
318
00:11:52,241 --> 00:11:53,448
Finally!
319
00:11:53,517 --> 00:11:55,103
I have been looking
everywhere for you.
320
00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:56,551
We have to talk.
321
00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:58,931
- Um, yeah, sure.
Let's do it.
322
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,931
[click, rattle]
323
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,068
[water bubbling]
324
00:12:04,172 --> 00:12:05,413
- And then he started
325
00:12:05,482 --> 00:12:07,931
combing an invisible
pony tail,
326
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,655
and I could tell
he was imagining bangs.
327
00:12:10,724 --> 00:12:12,448
- Oh, my God.
Wow!
328
00:12:12,517 --> 00:12:14,758
That's totally crazy.
329
00:12:14,827 --> 00:12:16,068
- Right?
330
00:12:16,137 --> 00:12:18,034
Hey, you haven't eaten
your half of the cookie.
331
00:12:18,103 --> 00:12:19,482
- Mm.
Yeah.
332
00:12:19,551 --> 00:12:21,172
I--I went to an
333
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:24,482
all-you-can-eat
breakfast buffet.
334
00:12:24,551 --> 00:12:27,310
It--do you want my half?
- No.
335
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,896
Hey, so your turn.
336
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:31,448
I feel like I haven't
seen you all week.
337
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:33,172
- Actually,
338
00:12:33,241 --> 00:12:35,551
I've had a weirdly good week,
339
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:39,379
so nothing really to report?
340
00:12:39,448 --> 00:12:40,655
I'm sorry, Kate.
341
00:12:40,724 --> 00:12:43,241
I feel like my good week
has ruined your day.
342
00:12:43,310 --> 00:12:44,965
But if you have
anything else to share,
343
00:12:45,034 --> 00:12:46,310
by all means, let her rip.
344
00:12:46,379 --> 00:12:49,034
- No.
No, I mean, it's not fair
345
00:12:49,103 --> 00:12:51,103
for me to dump all over you.
346
00:12:51,172 --> 00:12:53,413
You should enjoy
your good week.
347
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,103
- I'm sure it won't last
348
00:12:55,172 --> 00:12:57,586
with all these buffoons
around here.
349
00:12:57,655 --> 00:12:58,862
[laughs]
350
00:12:58,931 --> 00:13:00,827
- Yeah.
[laughs awkwardly]
351
00:13:00,896 --> 00:13:02,241
Buffoons.
352
00:13:02,310 --> 00:13:03,896
- You've gotten really good
at calligraphy.
353
00:13:03,965 --> 00:13:05,344
- Stop it.
- You know I won't.
354
00:13:05,413 --> 00:13:07,655
- And you know
I don't want you to.
355
00:13:07,724 --> 00:13:10,586
[suspenseful music]
356
00:13:10,655 --> 00:13:14,000
♪ ♪
357
00:13:14,068 --> 00:13:17,275
- Morning, Matt.
Morning, Jake.
358
00:13:17,344 --> 00:13:19,620
together: Morning, Daniel.
359
00:13:22,724 --> 00:13:25,034
- "It is against
Hampton DeVille policy
360
00:13:25,103 --> 00:13:28,241
to post unauthorized messages
on the building walls."
361
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:29,965
- "Cease and desist."
362
00:13:30,034 --> 00:13:31,965
- "Signed, Daniel.
363
00:13:32,034 --> 00:13:35,310
Building Management."
364
00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:36,862
[dramatic orchestral music]
365
00:13:36,931 --> 00:13:38,068
[bird caws]
366
00:13:38,137 --> 00:13:40,896
- So as you can see,
we will have horses
367
00:13:40,965 --> 00:13:42,413
galloping buck wild
368
00:13:42,482 --> 00:13:44,931
across every
major American city.
369
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:48,034
- Users can locate one
by looking at a map,
370
00:13:48,103 --> 00:13:49,896
or simply looking around
for a horse
371
00:13:49,965 --> 00:13:51,551
in an urban environment.
- That's right.
372
00:13:51,620 --> 00:13:53,034
And now lucky as a horseshoe,
373
00:13:53,103 --> 00:13:55,724
we have developed
a prototype of the app.
374
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,862
So if everyone wants
to pull out their phone--
375
00:13:57,931 --> 00:13:59,517
[thud]
Whoa--
376
00:13:59,586 --> 00:14:01,689
Oh.
377
00:14:04,241 --> 00:14:07,482
This is not my comb.
[panicked laugh]
378
00:14:07,551 --> 00:14:08,896
Who--who put this--
379
00:14:08,965 --> 00:14:11,758
who put this in here--
my pocket?
380
00:14:11,827 --> 00:14:13,586
Oh, you guys think it's funny
381
00:14:13,655 --> 00:14:16,896
to plant a comb in the pocket
of a man with no hair?
382
00:14:16,965 --> 00:14:18,172
Well, let me ask you this.
383
00:14:18,241 --> 00:14:20,379
Would you plant a pair of skis
384
00:14:20,448 --> 00:14:22,896
in the pocket
of a man with no legs?
385
00:14:22,965 --> 00:14:25,586
Or for that matter, in the
pocket of a woman with no legs?
386
00:14:25,655 --> 00:14:26,827
[dramatic piano music]
387
00:14:26,896 --> 00:14:30,137
I don't think so.
Pockets are very small.
388
00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:32,758
Especially women's pockets.
389
00:14:32,827 --> 00:14:36,034
You know, sometimes women
don't even have pockets at all.
390
00:14:36,103 --> 00:14:38,586
I personally hope so many women
391
00:14:38,655 --> 00:14:41,068
who honestly would kill
to have a pocket...
392
00:14:41,137 --> 00:14:42,068
[heart thumping]
393
00:14:42,137 --> 00:14:43,689
And I'm keeping the comb.
394
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:44,862
Not that I'll ever use it
of course.
395
00:14:44,931 --> 00:14:47,206
Why would I?
I don't have any hair.
396
00:14:47,275 --> 00:14:48,862
Anyone with hair can see that.
397
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,172
[grunting]
398
00:14:50,241 --> 00:14:51,310
Wow.
399
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,137
- Let me explain.
400
00:14:56,206 --> 00:14:59,344
Last week I saw John combing
his head in the parking garage,
401
00:14:59,413 --> 00:15:00,758
and I went
to email you about it,
402
00:15:00,827 --> 00:15:02,896
but I emailed
Christian by mistake.
403
00:15:02,965 --> 00:15:05,379
And it just took on
a life of its own.
404
00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:07,000
- So you...
405
00:15:07,068 --> 00:15:10,241
knew about the comb,
and you didn't tell me.
406
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,724
- I was going to
but then I just--
407
00:15:11,793 --> 00:15:12,724
- No!
408
00:15:12,793 --> 00:15:14,448
It's okay.
409
00:15:14,517 --> 00:15:16,862
I mean, you can talk shit
410
00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:20,517
with whoever you want
about whomever you want.
411
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,862
- Obviously, we never
talked shit about you.
412
00:15:23,931 --> 00:15:25,965
- Of course you didn't.
413
00:15:26,034 --> 00:15:27,931
Oh, by the way,
414
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,965
I don't have time
for tea and cookies today.
415
00:15:31,034 --> 00:15:32,551
- Oh.
Okay.
416
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:34,793
Well, that works out great
417
00:15:34,862 --> 00:15:36,379
because I have to get ready
418
00:15:36,448 --> 00:15:39,482
for a gala
I'm attending tonight.
419
00:15:39,551 --> 00:15:41,448
With Christian.
420
00:15:41,517 --> 00:15:42,758
Deville.
421
00:15:42,827 --> 00:15:44,758
- Cool.
- Yeah, it is cool.
422
00:15:44,827 --> 00:15:46,275
Ice cool.
423
00:15:46,344 --> 00:15:47,586
[patriotic music]
424
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,724
- "We stand together
against your tyranny."
425
00:15:49,793 --> 00:15:52,172
- "We don't give a shit
about your decree."
426
00:15:52,241 --> 00:15:54,310
- "We'll post what we want
just to be spiteful."
427
00:15:54,379 --> 00:15:57,586
- "And your frustration
we'll find delightful."
428
00:15:57,655 --> 00:15:59,068
- "Eat shit,
429
00:15:59,137 --> 00:16:00,137
"and also,
430
00:16:00,206 --> 00:16:01,827
drink piss."
431
00:16:01,896 --> 00:16:03,724
- You have a gift
with words, Tammy.
432
00:16:03,793 --> 00:16:05,068
- [laughs]
Stop it, Matt.
433
00:16:05,137 --> 00:16:06,517
It's your calligraphy
that really sells it.
434
00:16:06,586 --> 00:16:09,758
- Oh, I'd deny it if I could
but I can't.
435
00:16:09,827 --> 00:16:11,758
- I am not playing games here.
436
00:16:11,827 --> 00:16:13,137
If the three of you don't stop,
437
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,482
there will be
serious consequences.
438
00:16:19,931 --> 00:16:22,448
- Well, that was aggressive
without being passive.
439
00:16:22,517 --> 00:16:23,758
What's that called?
440
00:16:23,827 --> 00:16:26,034
- I guess the fun is over.
- [scoffs]
441
00:16:26,103 --> 00:16:27,551
- Yeah.
442
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,862
The fun is over.
443
00:16:28,931 --> 00:16:32,137
- But the fun was fun
while it lasted.
444
00:16:32,206 --> 00:16:33,862
- It was pretty fun fun.
445
00:16:33,931 --> 00:16:34,862
- Yeah.
446
00:16:34,931 --> 00:16:36,551
- We all know that feeling--
447
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,965
when you walk into the bathroom
in your socks
448
00:16:39,034 --> 00:16:41,413
and you step in
a little puddle of water.
449
00:16:41,482 --> 00:16:43,137
There's nothing worse.
450
00:16:43,206 --> 00:16:45,620
Well, maybe expect
my mother's cooking.
451
00:16:45,689 --> 00:16:47,482
[all laughing]
452
00:16:47,551 --> 00:16:50,655
- His mother's cooking?
What a hack.
453
00:16:50,724 --> 00:16:53,413
- That's why I invented
Bathroom Socks--
454
00:16:53,482 --> 00:16:54,965
the revolutionary socks
455
00:16:55,034 --> 00:16:57,517
made out of
moisture wicking material.
456
00:16:57,586 --> 00:17:00,241
- I wish this kid
got lost in the dryer.
457
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,827
- As I can see now,
you guys love socks too.
458
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:04,172
[all laughing]
459
00:17:04,241 --> 00:17:07,310
- Oh, thank you.
460
00:17:07,379 --> 00:17:09,655
You wanna split this?
- Oh, God no.
461
00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:11,758
I paid $4 million
for this evening.
462
00:17:11,827 --> 00:17:13,241
You'd think they could serve
a better dessert
463
00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:15,448
than the free shit they
give you in business class.
464
00:17:15,517 --> 00:17:17,448
- So, who's ready
465
00:17:17,517 --> 00:17:19,827
to stepinto the future
466
00:17:19,896 --> 00:17:21,931
of the sock industry?
467
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:22,965
[all cheering, whooping]
468
00:17:23,034 --> 00:17:25,620
- Ugh, a pun.
469
00:17:25,689 --> 00:17:28,206
I wish I could pun-ch
him in the face.
470
00:17:28,275 --> 00:17:29,206
[chuckles]
471
00:17:29,275 --> 00:17:32,206
[sad orchestral music]
472
00:17:32,275 --> 00:17:35,620
♪ ♪
473
00:17:35,689 --> 00:17:37,344
[elevator chimes]
474
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:40,862
- [exhales]
475
00:17:45,517 --> 00:17:46,862
[elevator chimes]
476
00:17:46,931 --> 00:17:48,103
Have a good night, Grace.
477
00:17:48,172 --> 00:17:49,793
- You too, Kate.
478
00:17:52,689 --> 00:17:55,655
[heart thumping]
479
00:17:55,724 --> 00:17:57,413
[thumping increases tempo]
480
00:17:57,482 --> 00:18:00,068
- You know what's really been
pissing me off lately?
481
00:18:02,413 --> 00:18:05,551
Grace.
482
00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:08,000
- She can be a bit much.
483
00:18:08,068 --> 00:18:10,275
- You're being too easy on her.
484
00:18:10,344 --> 00:18:13,758
I think Grace can be a liar,
485
00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:15,482
a cheater,
486
00:18:15,551 --> 00:18:18,413
and a dirty scoundrel
who doesn't know a good thing
487
00:18:18,482 --> 00:18:21,655
when it's right in front
of her stupid face.
488
00:18:21,724 --> 00:18:25,000
- And she always takes
the bigger half of the cookie.
489
00:18:25,068 --> 00:18:26,758
- God, I hate her.
490
00:18:26,827 --> 00:18:28,931
- But do you know who also
491
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,931
can be a bit much?
492
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,965
Kate.
493
00:18:34,034 --> 00:18:36,137
She can be more than a little
494
00:18:36,206 --> 00:18:37,724
jealous,
495
00:18:37,793 --> 00:18:39,103
and possessive.
496
00:18:39,172 --> 00:18:40,448
I mean, it's like,
497
00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:42,896
let your friends have
other friends already.
498
00:18:42,965 --> 00:18:44,517
- You know who sucks
even worse
499
00:18:44,586 --> 00:18:47,586
than Grace or Kate?
500
00:18:47,655 --> 00:18:48,965
Christian.
501
00:18:49,034 --> 00:18:50,931
He hates children.
502
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,379
He's heartless.
503
00:18:52,448 --> 00:18:55,896
And he does these
terrible impressions.
504
00:18:55,965 --> 00:18:58,758
- Here's my impression
of Christian.
505
00:18:58,827 --> 00:19:00,793
[clears throat]
[grunts]
506
00:19:00,862 --> 00:19:03,965
Can I trouble any
of you buffoons for a mint?
507
00:19:04,034 --> 00:19:04,965
- [laughing]
508
00:19:05,034 --> 00:19:06,655
- I have lobster breath.
509
00:19:06,724 --> 00:19:09,034
- [laughing]
510
00:19:10,206 --> 00:19:13,103
I missed you so much.
511
00:19:13,172 --> 00:19:16,068
- I missed you too.
512
00:19:16,137 --> 00:19:17,241
[both sigh]
513
00:19:19,827 --> 00:19:20,965
- Oh, I rode a horse
to work today.
514
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:22,310
Felt good to do my part
for the environment.
515
00:19:22,379 --> 00:19:24,034
- Oh, so that's why
you smell like horse shit.
516
00:19:24,103 --> 00:19:25,034
- Yeah.
517
00:19:25,103 --> 00:19:26,034
- Hey, Matt.
Hey, Jake.
518
00:19:26,103 --> 00:19:27,344
- Hey, Tammy.
519
00:19:27,413 --> 00:19:30,344
[dramatic music]
520
00:19:30,413 --> 00:19:35,586
♪ ♪
521
00:19:35,655 --> 00:19:37,310
- Hello, Daniel.
522
00:19:37,379 --> 00:19:40,517
- You guys, what did I tell you
about the notes?
523
00:19:40,586 --> 00:19:43,517
[horror music]
524
00:19:43,586 --> 00:19:45,689
♪ ♪
525
00:19:45,758 --> 00:19:48,793
"We hope you'll consider
reversing your decree.
526
00:19:48,862 --> 00:19:52,344
We'd hate for your wife,
Brenda, to see these."
527
00:19:55,413 --> 00:19:58,034
[dramatic orchestral music]
528
00:19:58,103 --> 00:19:59,413
♪ ♪
529
00:19:59,482 --> 00:20:02,103
- Tammy, I thought
we agreed the fun was over.
530
00:20:02,172 --> 00:20:04,000
- Oh, following Daniel
after work
531
00:20:04,068 --> 00:20:07,034
and discovering him cheating
on his lovely wife wasn't fun.
532
00:20:07,103 --> 00:20:08,068
But it worked, right?
533
00:20:08,137 --> 00:20:10,172
[dramatic music]
534
00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:11,896
Well, catch you guys later.
535
00:20:11,965 --> 00:20:14,827
Let me know who you
wanna take down next.
536
00:20:14,896 --> 00:20:18,137
- Peace.
537
00:20:18,206 --> 00:20:20,379
You know who can be a bit much?
Tammy.
538
00:20:20,448 --> 00:20:22,862
- Seriously.
She can't even make coffee.
539
00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:24,448
It's a simple
water to grounds ratio.
540
00:20:24,517 --> 00:20:25,862
[fly buzzing]
541
00:20:25,931 --> 00:20:26,965
- Maybe you should spend
less time stalking Daniel
542
00:20:27,034 --> 00:20:28,103
and more time doing your job.
543
00:20:28,172 --> 00:20:31,206
- Yeah, maybe next time
stalk a barista.
544
00:20:31,275 --> 00:20:32,724
- Did you hear that Matt
545
00:20:32,793 --> 00:20:35,275
started calling himself
a calligraphist?
546
00:20:35,344 --> 00:20:37,620
- He's a messy Ren Faire bitch,
and he knows it.
547
00:20:37,689 --> 00:20:38,862
- [laughs]
548
00:20:38,931 --> 00:20:41,965
[flies buzzing]
549
00:20:45,206 --> 00:20:46,137
[piano music]
550
00:20:46,206 --> 00:20:47,344
- [laughs]
551
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:54,413
♪ ♪
552
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:59,172
[heart thumping]
553
00:21:00,068 --> 00:21:01,413
[heart explodes]
554
00:21:01,482 --> 00:21:02,413
[fly buzzing]
555
00:21:02,482 --> 00:21:05,000
[fly crunches]
37119
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