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Normally, I know how to start
any article I write, any column,
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00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,038
because I won't even sit down to write
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00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,918
until I have
the opening sentence planned.
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00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:51,556
But beginning this,
which is a rather strange story,
5
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:56,111
is difficult because it started
in such an unexpected way.
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00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:02,154
I am in somebody else's house,
a rather magnificent house, in fact,
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00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:06,153
surrounded by three Dalmatians.
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00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,674
The dogs belong to
a person I hardly know,
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00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:12,992
but who has had
a most peculiar effect on me.
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00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,270
How has this all come about?
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00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,669
(CLOCK CHIMING SOFTLY)
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00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:24,117
When you're a film critic,
13
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,395
you don't tend to get invited
to an awful lot of parties
14
00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:28,471
by people in the entertainment industry,
15
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:33,156
because they are, rather
understandably, very wary of you.
16
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:34,355
Some of them hate you,
17
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,512
and they scuttle off
as quick as they can.
18
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,831
But since I've given up being a critic
and started this column,
19
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,912
I find myself altogether more popular.
20
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,116
Invited to all sorts of places.
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00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:50,273
And one of those being Pinewood Studios,
22
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,079
the heart of the British film industry.
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00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:07,871
I was determined
to be on my best behaviour.
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00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,552
Merely observe,
25
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:13,189
and not start any argument
about the insularity of British film,
26
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:17,239
which I know I've railed about
week after week with tedious regularity.
27
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:21,029
I thought I would be entering
a very hierarchical world.
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00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,908
The film directors arriving
in their chauffeur-driven Bentleys,
29
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,797
and young actresses,
30
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,111
being treated with patronising jollity
by these same directors.
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00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,031
"No, darling, that's not how you do it.
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00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:36,113
"Surely you can pick up a cigarette
lighter and talk at the same time?"
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00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,033
He'll wink at
the surrounding male technicians,
34
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,634
and then the director
rolls his eyes and sighs,
35
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,518
"I'll have to show you, darling,
won't I?"
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00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:50,757
Disappointingly, that is precisely
what I found, except more so.
37
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:53,513
And naturally,
my silence didn't last long.
38
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,560
At lunch, in their panelled boardroom,
39
00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,756
we were served
some particularly leathery roast beef.
40
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,276
Maybe it was the experience
of trying to cut this meat,
41
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,590
which had the consistency
of a Wellington boot,
42
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,513
but I suddenly heard myself
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00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,910
asking the assembled
filmmakers and producers
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00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:15,834
whether they were ever tempted
to leave the safety of the studio
45
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:20,550
and the pretty Pinewood garden
and shoot an entire film on location,
46
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:24,474
like some Italian
and American directors had done?
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00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:29,509
"Go to an industrial city, or the wilds
of Northumberland," I urged.
48
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,990
Incredulity spread
across the dining room.
49
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:39,437
"But surely you understand,"
they said, talking very slowly,
50
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,670
"how films are really made?
51
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:45,753
"All the lights that are required,
the stars' dressing rooms?"
52
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,479
One of the producers leans towards me.
53
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,516
"It is the story that matters,
surely you know that.
54
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,910
"You know, why should you care
where a film is made,
55
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,310
"or what the Italians
and the Americans are doing?"
56
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,833
Put on the defensive, I'm afraid
57
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:06,629
I uttered the fatal words.
Very pompous, I know.
58
00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:11,236
"But I care about what they're doing
because I'm passionate about cinema. "
59
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,311
This was greeted
60
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:19,188
with one of the most embarrassed
silences I've ever heard.
61
00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:23,068
It was as if I'd come out
with a volley of obscenities.
62
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:27,278
The word "passionate" uttered
in the boardroom of Pinewood Studios.
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00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:29,919
Surely not.
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00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,360
Well, after that,
I was in a hurry to get away.
65
00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:41,113
But there was a cocktail party
at a film producer's house
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00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,873
and Cary Grant was expected,
67
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,076
travelling all the way
from Elstree Studios
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00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,879
where he's making the movie Indiscreet.
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00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,632
The film producer's house
was quite near the studio,
70
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:52,836
a large mock-Tudor mansion.
71
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,553
Naturally, there's no sign
of Cary Grant.
72
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:07,235
Suddenly, I'm approached
by a young woman.
73
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,676
And let us call her Felicity,
although that is not her real name.
74
00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,672
She's about my own age,
with an open, pretty face.
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00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:17,958
She says she hasn't the faintest idea
why she's here in this garden,
76
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,554
with all these people
from the film world.
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00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,835
Why she's been invited,
she hasn't the foggiest clue.
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00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,956
It can only be a mistake.
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00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,472
She asks me who I was and what I did.
80
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:35,112
"Oh, you must be frightfully brainy,"
she says.
81
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,795
Well, modesty demanded
that at least I tried to deny this.
82
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:45,149
"No, no, you're obviously so brainy,
and that's marvellous," she insists.
83
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,037
"I like clever people," she giggles.
84
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:50,396
"Actually, I don't get
to meet very many.
85
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,712
"And as for me, I'm a real dunce.
I can't hide it, so I just admit it. "
86
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,358
(GIGGLES)
87
00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:00,069
She's laughing away merrily,
almost boastfully.
88
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:04,676
Suddenly, her face is quite close,
her pale blue eyes studying me.
89
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:08,833
"How do you choose what to write about
in your column every week?"
90
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:13,634
You know, I'm often asked this,
and I try my best to be vague,
91
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,553
because the truth is
embarrassingly chaotic and last minute.
92
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,835
So I'm just about to give
my usual evasive answer,
93
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,912
when she says,
"Why don't you write about me?"
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00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,636
This I was not expecting.
95
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,676
"Write about you?"
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00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,558
I can't quite keep
the amazement out of my voice.
97
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,200
"Yes!" she beams at me.
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00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,868
I have to admit, it is rare for me
not to know what to say next.
99
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,871
Eventually, I manage a blank,
non-committal,
100
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:46,077
"Well, I don't normally write
about specific people. "
101
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,515
Felicity is not impressed
by this argument.
102
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,034
"Oh, don't you? Why ever not?
103
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,714
"Then you should start
with a dimwit like me.
104
00:06:55,800 --> 00:07:01,158
"Because if you can make me interesting,
then you really would be a good writer. "
105
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:04,232
What do you say to something like that?
106
00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:08,598
I was trying hard not to be rude,
but I knew I had to get rid of her.
107
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,592
For some reason,
all I could manage was a feeble,
108
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:15,116
"Well, I have to know more about you
before I could... "
109
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,873
Felicity seizes on this.
110
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,793
"That's easy. Let's have tea, then.
111
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,758
"I'm... I'm sure
you're frightfully busy,
112
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,753
"but maybe you can fit in
a tiny tea with me. "
113
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:48,197
So I find myself having a tiny tea
in Fuller's in Knightsbridge.
114
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,431
Felicity is eating
a bright pink strawberry ice cream.
115
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:55,115
She's asked for two extra wafers,
which she's eating first.
116
00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:00,679
In between munches, she suddenly says,
"Do you have a husband?
117
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:04,514
"Or a boyfriend
or a scrumptious lover of some sort?"
118
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,229
I said, "Not at the moment. "
119
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,471
There's a pause,
and Felicity's face clouds over.
120
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,196
"I was nearly married. I was engaged,
121
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,315
"but then I discovered
122
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,312
"he was still rogering about
four of his ex-girlfriends.
123
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,153
"At least four.
He was clearly not going to
124
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:27,074
"let a little thing
like a wedding with me stop him. "
125
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:31,995
"My family were very disappointed.
He was thought of as quite a catch.
126
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,071
"They didn't think
his bottom going up and down
127
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,991
"in lots of different bedrooms
all over London
128
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,356
"was nearly a strong enough reason
for stopping the marriage. "
129
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,237
She waves her wafer.
130
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,752
"You know,
131
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,400
"my sister Georgina's about to come out.
132
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,673
"It is the last season.
133
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:53,196
"The last time the debs are going to be
presented to the Queen.
134
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:57,398
"Isn't that extraordinary?
Stopping it after all this time. "
135
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:09,159
"Were you presented to the Queen?"
I ask, unnecessarily.
136
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,912
Her face lights up.
137
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,197
"Oh, yes. All us virgins
sitting in Buckingham Palace
138
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,874
"in neat rows,
and then curtseying to the Queen.
139
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,748
"And then curtseying to a giant cake
at the Queen Charlotte's Ball.
140
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:22,432
"Isn't that just completely crackers?
141
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,318
"All these women and a large cake. And,
142
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,674
"when you finally got to eat it,
143
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,797
"it turned out
to be a horrible old fruitcake. "
144
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,194
And then she's off,
prattling on about life as a deb,
145
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,989
all these balls and dances
in these great houses.
146
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,196
Floodlit gardens,
the incredible time and effort
147
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,113
that went into arranging
the whole thing.
148
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,998
Desperation of the mothers.
149
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:46,229
Terrible fear of rejection
150
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,232
if you didn't get enough partners
during each night.
151
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:50,912
And the dreamlike nature of it all,
152
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,037
because you're so short of sleep
all the time.
153
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,630
"My father's a duke,"
Felicity says, looking straight at me.
154
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:09,429
And then, as if willing me
to look disapproving, she adds,
155
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,954
"Afraid that is the case.
156
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:15,237
"Not a really, really big duke,
although he's quite tall,
157
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,550
"more a sort of middling one.
158
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,555
"Quite an ancient title, you know,
all the things that come with that,
159
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,234
"the big house in the country,
160
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,471
"lots of dogs
and a terrifying old nanny.
161
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,589
"Nanny Luckham.
162
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:35,229
"She taught me practically nothing
except how to make queen's pudding,
163
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:38,471
"which is, in fact, quite difficult.
164
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,073
"You know, she was a better cook
than the cook.
165
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,355
"That is what
she should have been doing.
166
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:45,512
"All sorts of things
might have been different. "
167
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,110
She stares for a long moment
at her last wafer
168
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,670
as she contemplates
the badly organised servants.
169
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:59,193
"What does your father do?"
she says, still staring at the wafer.
170
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:03,630
I tell her the truth,
that he is a carpenter.
171
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,188
She is completely stunned.
172
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:10,068
"Oh. My goodness, really?
173
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,116
"You're being serious?"
174
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,633
I can't resist piling it on,
175
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,836
because I know my northern background
will make it even worse.
176
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,878
"Yes, a carpenter in Manchester.
177
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,229
"That is where I was brought up. "
178
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:28,278
Felicity takes a moment to digest this.
179
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,875
It is as if she'd known
I was different, but not that different,
180
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,190
and maybe all this
was too much to handle
181
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,033
and the tea
should come to an abrupt end.
182
00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:39,471
(CLOCK CHIMES SOFTLY)
183
00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:44,433
After due consideration,
she decides to let it continue
184
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,432
and wants to hear all about
my scholarship to Oxford,
185
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,318
when I lost my Manchester accent,
how my parents view me now.
186
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,868
And all the time, she's interjecting,
187
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,758
"You're even brainier
than I thought you were.
188
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,400
"Here I am, knowing simply nothing. "
189
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,392
I think maybe I should at least try
to contradict this for politeness' sake,
190
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,553
but for the first time,
Felicity becomes quite forceful.
191
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,359
"No, it is true.
192
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:13,115
"I know absolutely nothing,
I promise you. "
193
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,679
Her eyes are fierce.
194
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:18,514
She won't be contradicted.
I have to nod and agree with her.
195
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,919
"I could've known more.
196
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,798
"I met George Bernard Shaw,
for instance.
197
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,599
"Sat on his knee
when he came to stay with us.
198
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:31,148
"And I went to Queen Mary's funeral
with my father,
199
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,708
"because my mother
was away in the country.
200
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,268
"And I met the Duke of Windsor there.
201
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:39,796
"Did you know, the royal family
had a meal that night, all together,
202
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:41,632
"and they never invited him?
203
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,712
"The day of his own mother's funeral.
204
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,712
"How could they have done that?
205
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,758
"Mind you, he's meant to be
thicker than me. "
206
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,634
She then leans towards me
and fixes me with an intense look.
207
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,517
She says slowly,
208
00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:02,276
"Somebody at the party said
you were very pleased with yourself. "
209
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:05,868
Well, I...
210
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:09,236
I try to take this in my stride.
Probably not very successfully,
211
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,756
because undoubtedly,
there is a shred of truth in it.
212
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,718
So I mutter something along the line of,
213
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,917
"I really hope
I didn't give that impression. "
214
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,434
Felicity continues to peer at me.
215
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:27,190
"I don't think it's true,"
she finally pronounces,
216
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,669
and then she smiles.
217
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:32,479
"You said
you were passionate about cinema.
218
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:35,870
"That made them very cross.
Very cross indeed.
219
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,837
"I'm glad you did, though.
220
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,718
"What a wonderful thing to be,
221
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,279
"passionate. "
222
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:48,751
Suddenly, she's in very close,
her tone almost urgent.
223
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,631
"You know,
224
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,280
"I have never been to a foreign film.
225
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,078
"Ever.
226
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,754
"Will you take me to one?"
227
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,353
I hesitate.
228
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,759
The very last thing I want to do
229
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,355
is act as a one-woman
finishing school for this ex-deb.
230
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:08,835
Her eyes are pleading with me.
231
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,673
"Please, Mary, do that for me?"
232
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:37,518
So, I take her to a little cinema
tucked behind Paddington Station.
233
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,558
I had no idea what sort of
foreign film she wanted to see,
234
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:45,634
so I decided on
Henri-Georges Clouzot's Les Diaboliques.
235
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:49,554
Strong story, I told myself.
One that was easy to follow.
236
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:51,995
As we approach the cinema,
237
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:55,516
a thunderstorm explodes
over the dark streets of Paddington.
238
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,398
And inside,
the auditorium is almost empty,
239
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:03,190
except for three strange-looking men,
two of them grotesquely fat.
240
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:07,159
So the atmosphere's a little eerie
even before the film begins.
241
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,275
Just as the film starts,
242
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:11,909
one of the grotesques
comes and sits right behind us,
243
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,754
wheezing and blowing smoke
against our necks.
244
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,354
Now, those of you
who have seen Les Diaboliques
245
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:21,398
will know it casts a spell
of extraordinary evil,
246
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,879
rancid and claustrophobic.
247
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,713
I have to admit, even though
I've seen it three times,
248
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:29,156
and know the twist,
even I still find it quite frightening.
249
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:36,191
About halfway through,
Felicity clasps hold of my arm,
250
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:37,679
holding it so tight it hurts,
251
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,876
and doesn't let go
till the end of the film.
252
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:43,111
She's like a child on a roller coaster.
253
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,760
And when it's
a particularly nasty murder,
254
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:50,436
somebody being held down in a bath,
she lets out a mewl-like cry.
255
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:51,953
(MEWLING)
256
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:56,232
And when we creep around the house
near the end of the film
257
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:57,355
and visit another bathroom
258
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,670
and see a corpse rise
from under the water,
259
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:02,513
which causes the heroine
to have a fatal heart attack,
260
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:06,434
I can feel Felicity's breathing
getting faster and faster.
261
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,317
And I glance at her.
262
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:14,109
Her eyes are full of terror.
263
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:20,595
I don't think I've ever seen
anybody look quite so afraid.
264
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,552
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
265
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:38,759
Even before the lights come up,
I feel terrible.
266
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,308
I have punished her
for asking for my help,
267
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,198
by taking her
to the most terrifying film I could find
268
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:45,508
in a seedy cinema
269
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,388
where we're menaced by
ghoulish men sitting right behind us.
270
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:58,357
Outside, on the pavement,
as the rain lashes down,
271
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,158
Felicity turns towards me.
272
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,595
She's standing without an umbrella,
getting completely soaked.
273
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:04,511
Her eyes are shining.
274
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,148
"Mary,
275
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,233
"that was the most wonderful film
I've ever seen.
276
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:15,108
"It was fantastic.
It was completely gorgeous. "
277
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,760
We walk in the rain for a little while.
278
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,115
I have a strong sense
of what her next question will be,
279
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,997
and I know I'm going to say yes.
280
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:27,231
She stops and stares straight at me.
281
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,959
"We can't, can we?
Go to another flick together?
282
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,031
"Or maybe a play?
Something new and different.
283
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,712
"I've heard about
all these new sorts of plays,
284
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,234
"with lavatories on stage
and ironing boards
285
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,515
"and people boiling kettles!"
286
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,958
I realise
287
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:45,077
I'm going to spend
a few more days with Felicity.
288
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:49,039
She's obviously decided I'm going to be
her own private guide to this new world,
289
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:52,078
and I find it impossible to say no.
290
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,957
I have to admit,
and you've already guessed this,
291
00:17:57,040 --> 00:18:02,672
I was getting rather intrigued by her,
although I can't quite work out why.
292
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,149
There's a loneliness there, obviously.
293
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,516
But also a hunger.
294
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,318
And a sense of fun.
295
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,993
She's obviously decided
I'm going to be
296
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,275
her own private guide to this new world,
297
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:21,397
and I find it impossible to say no.
298
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,390
So during this last season,
299
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:34,359
as the debs are being presented
for their final curtsey to the Queen,
300
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,795
Felicity and I
go on an alternative season,
301
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,553
an orgy of avant-garde work.
302
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,393
We see a play at the Royal Court
about a working class family
303
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,358
with a very provocative title,
Live Like Pigs.
304
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,749
We go and see
Ingmar Bergman's Wild Strawberries,
305
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:51,071
which has been
such a critical sensation this month.
306
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,071
And we see a play at Stratford East
307
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,357
by a 19-year-old girl from Salford,
Shelagh Delaney,
308
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,989
called A Taste of Honey,
which is amazing.
309
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:04,039
And we see a rather good
amateur production of Waiting for Godot.
310
00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:08,591
"I think Godot must be rather
like my doctor," pronounces Felicity.
311
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:13,629
"He always says, 'I'll pop round,'
but he usually finds an excuse not to. "
312
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:17,872
I also take Felicity to a royal gala
premiere of a British war film
313
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:22,033
where she can see
all Pinewood's finest on display.
314
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,315
I hear her voice ringing out loudly
315
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,197
across the foyer
of the Empire Leicester Square
316
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:30,512
before the film starts,
just as Jack Hawkins walks past.
317
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,636
"I have a new love in my life.
318
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,871
"This adorable mad Irishman,
Mr Samuel Beckett. "
319
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,837
You know, all the time
320
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,515
she is anxious
to show me bits of her world.
321
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,556
We drive along Park Lane.
322
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,674
And watch all the debs
pour into their balls,
323
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,194
stare through lighted windows
at all the decorations,
324
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:05,956
and see party goers drunkenly
throwing bits of food and clothing
325
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:10,830
out of the window of their hotel suites
onto the heads of the passers-by below.
326
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,036
Four days ago,
327
00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:17,031
we were coming out
of a special press preview
328
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:19,076
of Mr Hitchcock's Vertigo,
329
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,596
a very dark and dreamlike movie
about obsessive love,
330
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,716
when Felicity turns to me.
331
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,319
"Well, Mary,
332
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,988
"I think you've changed my life.
333
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,149
"And I'm sure that's a good thing.
334
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,198
"In fact, I know
that's an absolutely splendid thing.
335
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,918
"So I should give you a present. "
336
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,072
I remonstrate,
"No, no, that's not necessary.
337
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,355
"It has been really good to see
some of these plays and films again,
338
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:43,919
"watch them with new eyes
339
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,037
"and to discover
some totally fresh things, too. "
340
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,634
Felicity is staring straight at me.
341
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:52,514
"Good.
342
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,319
"Then you won't mind very much,
I know this is monstrous of me,
343
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,992
"if I ask you for yet another favour?
344
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,275
"Do you mind?
Oh, well, here goes anyway.
345
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:00,679
"I have to go down
to the country this week,
346
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,593
"my sister's having
her coming-out ball there.
347
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,956
"And here in London, I have three dogs,
Dalmatians, actually.
348
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:10,476
"Augustus, Beatrice and Tilly.
I love Dalmatians.
349
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,279
"101 Dalmatians
is one of my favourite books.
350
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:16,033
"And I don't want them
to be alone for two days.
351
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:19,430
"You see, here in London,
I've hardly any servants now.
352
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,717
"I can't really afford to
run two big houses any more.
353
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,519
"My grandfather died suddenly
in an accident
354
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,353
"and my father became duke very fast
and had to move to the country,
355
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,476
"and everything's
a bit of a muddle and...
356
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,438
"My dogs, very definitely, do not
get on with the dogs in the country,
357
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:34,555
"and I don't want them to be alone
358
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,837
"with two grumpy chambermaids
to look after them.
359
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,110
"Could you stay with them for two days?"
360
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,749
She's imploring me with her big eyes.
"I mean,
361
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,115
"you might find it interesting,
our house.
362
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:53,910
"You could poke around,
find things to write about.
363
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,197
"And the chambermaids,
they won't be grumpy with you. "
364
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,995
I'm speechless. Utterly speechless.
365
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,992
Her face is thrust close to mine,
waiting for my answer.
366
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:07,718
And I realise,
367
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,792
here is somebody who is so used
to getting what they want.
368
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:15,431
For that reason alone,
I am trying my hardest to say no.
369
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:24,316
So, that is how I've ended up
in this room, surrounded by Dalmatians.
370
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,995
Somehow, in the space of three weeks,
after a chance meeting,
371
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:32,119
Felicity has scooped me up,
I've given hours and hours of my time,
372
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:36,193
and now deposited me in this house,
waited on by silent servants.
373
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,029
I'm even wearing my very best dress,
374
00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:44,157
as if I were attending
a great society occasion.
375
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,794
When, in fact, I'm here all on my own.
376
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,478
How has she managed
to compel me to do this?
377
00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:55,873
There is something about her
to suggest that...
378
00:22:55,960 --> 00:23:00,078
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
379
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,758
- Hello, Mary.
- Hello, Geraldine.
380
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:22,037
- Here I am with the dogs.
- Good.
381
00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:24,076
This house is amazing.
382
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,799
Your great-grandfather seems
to have built an Indian temple.
383
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,313
(CHUCKLES)
384
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,790
I've been reading your column.
I saw it today.
385
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:35,919
You're making me sound too sensible.
You haven't caught my full silliness.
386
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,958
Oh, I don't know about that.
I'm doing my best.
387
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,031
Why did you call me Felicity?
388
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:45,996
- Oh, it's just a name. I needed a name.
- You could have chosen a prettier name.
389
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,232
How are the dogs?
390
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,038
Oh, oh, the dogs are well.
391
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:53,873
I think at least Augustus
quite likes me.
392
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,630
Augustus likes everybody.
He has no judgement at all.
393
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,798
You all right, Geraldine?
You sound a little angry with me.
394
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:04,991
No. No.
395
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,073
I'm just standing in the passage
in a dress I might wear tomorrow.
396
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,469
I tried on two or three tonight.
397
00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:18,798
Outside, there are 20 little Greek
temples specially built for the ball.
398
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,393
Tomorrow they will all blaze with light
399
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,950
and it will be intoxicating
and dreamlike.
400
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,316
- Well, it sounds spectacular.
- I'm sure it will be.
401
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:34,312
I'm sitting now,
it could make all the difference.
402
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,311
My mother keeps
all the Sunday newspapers
403
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,152
for at least a year
after they've appeared.
404
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,596
She never seems to read them,
but she never throws them out.
405
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,558
So I've been able to read
some of your old columns.
406
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:46,870
You're very outspoken, aren't you, Mary?
407
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,393
You don't mean rude?
408
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:49,913
Well, like I'm reading here.
409
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:54,869
"Kenneth More has all the sex appeal
of an old English sheepdog.
410
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,632
"If we are to compete
with the Americans,
411
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,870
"we have to find
actors with real danger,
412
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,837
"and not just constantly feature
chuckling men
413
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,514
"who never seem to have been young. "
414
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,795
Should you write about film actors
like that, Mary?
415
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,871
Oh, I don't see why not.
416
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,633
But I agree,
it could be a little wittier.
417
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:12,950
I like it
how you blast everything, though.
418
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:16,032
Attacking lots of smug men,
that's rather fun.
419
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,760
You're not exactly cruel,
that isn't quite right...
420
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,149
You're impatient, Mary.
421
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:23,753
Impatient for change.
422
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,870
I'm sure that's what I am, yes.
423
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,916
I bet all your friends are saying,
424
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:30,638
"Why are you spending all that space
425
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,995
"writing about
that silly young heiress, though?
426
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,719
"What could have possessed you?
427
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,872
"You've already spent
two columns on her. "
428
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,916
That's what they're saying, aren't they?
429
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,629
- All your sophisticated friends.
- Nobody has said that.
430
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,154
I'm not sure anybody's reading it,
but nobody has said that.
431
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:48,958
You're lying, Mary.
432
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,952
You're not a very good liar,
do you know that?
433
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,315
So people tell me.
434
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,789
The truth is,
you got a bit fascinated with me.
435
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,348
And yet, you don't really know why.
436
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,079
That is the truth. Yes.
437
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:06,311
Have you poked about in
all my cupboards yet, like I told you?
438
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:10,473
Tried on my shoes? I'm sure
we've both got the same nice feet.
439
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,916
Read my diary? Have you?
440
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,797
Well, how do I answer that?
441
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,394
You won't believe me if I say no.
442
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,550
- So you have, then?
- Not yet.
443
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,156
Go ahead. Go on.
444
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,752
Promise me you will.
445
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,436
If you insist, I will promise.
446
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:36,877
You know, I quite like the Felicity
you created in your column.
447
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,190
Made me laugh, some of it.
448
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:40,998
When we went off to see that play
449
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,913
about the two queer
Italian trapeze artists.
450
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,560
That was jolly.
451
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,108
At the time it was funny,
but you made it funnier.
452
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:50,599
Well, good.
453
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,153
But she is not me.
454
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,037
No, not completely.
I've not got all of you, not yet.
455
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,557
Not so far.
456
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,108
You're a detective now, are you?
457
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,794
Going to get to the bottom of things.
458
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,718
Mary, if only I wasn't here.
459
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:20,631
- You can't imagine what it's like.
- Geraldine?
460
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:22,879
What is it?
461
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:25,593
Got to go.
462
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:27,629
Got to go, Mary.
463
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,434
I'll call you later.
464
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,511
Be by the phone at 11:00.
465
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:37,878
Be there for me, Mary.
466
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:48,071
(CLOCK TICKING)
467
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:26,313
She's late.
468
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,751
Why am I so concerned
about her, Augustus?
469
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:32,398
I don't know why I should think
anything's the matter,
470
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:36,314
anything more than she's
a bit sad today, a bit melancholic.
471
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,392
I don't know why
I'm really worried about her.
472
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,236
But I must be, mustn't I?
Because I'm talking to you.
473
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:52,228
(DIALLING TELEPHONE)
474
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,351
- Is that Calverton?
Yes.
475
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:58,149
This is Mary Gilbert. I just wondered
if I could talk to Geraldine, please.
476
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,754
I'm not at all sure where she is,
hold on.
477
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:01,989
Sorry?
478
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:04,756
- What did you say? Oh, hold on.
- Hold on.
479
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,393
Right.
480
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,439
Have you been there?
481
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,239
I'm imagining some
huge old spooky house.
482
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,437
- Hello?
- Hello.
483
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,476
- I can't find her.
- What?
484
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:29,150
- Maybe she's in the east wing.
- You can't find her?
485
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,038
She's either in the east wing or left.
486
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:33,155
What do you mean,
487
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,038
she's either left
or she's in the east wing?
488
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:40,273
Can't you go and look for her
in the east wing?
489
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:43,557
I don't think so. I'm not sure.
490
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,948
- Who am I talking to?
- Geoffrey.
491
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:50,996
- Sorry?
- Mr Geoffrey.
492
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,435
Mr Geoffrey.
493
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,034
- You are?
- I'm the butler.
494
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,634
- Oh, the butler, right.
- Yes.
495
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,153
Well, could you, Mr Geoffrey,
496
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,959
if you see Geraldine by any chance
in the east wing,
497
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:05,838
- could you get her to ring Mary?
- (GRUNTS)
498
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:07,433
(RINGS OFF)
499
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,709
(CLOCK TICKING)
500
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,388
- Good night, Miss.
- Good night, Betsy.
501
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:41,873
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
502
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,633
- Hello.
- Ah, Geraldine, there you are.
503
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,677
What's the matter?
504
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,353
You missing me?
505
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,876
No, no, I was just
expecting you to ring.
506
00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,678
You sounded unhappy.
507
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:02,439
You scared me.
508
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,078
I scared you? When?
509
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:07,352
That film,
510
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:10,193
terrifying French movie,
it really scared me.
511
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,879
I shouldn't have done that, no.
I'm sorry.
512
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:15,632
No, you shouldn't.
513
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:20,472
We had some good times, though,
after that.
514
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:22,552
We did.
515
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,753
Geraldine, you sound very low,
is there something I can do?
516
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,752
- Like what?
- I don't know.
517
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,355
- Help in some way.
- You want something,
518
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:37,115
an answer, a secret,
but there isn't anything.
519
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,668
Not anything big,
520
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,513
just a series of small,
not very special puddles.
521
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,068
Puddles? What do you mean?
522
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:50,156
Some not very heroic incidents,
that's what I mean.
523
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:56,071
Grandfather didn't die
in an accident, of course.
524
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,510
He shot himself two years ago.
525
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,593
He was almost naked
with a gun in his mouth.
526
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:06,753
Never told anybody why.
527
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:12,158
And you had guessed that had happened,
hadn't you?
528
00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:14,276
Maybe.
529
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,796
Both him and my father are very silent.
530
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:19,472
Were
531
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:21,232
very, very silent.
532
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,189
My father's even more silent now.
533
00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:29,757
I watched him tonight.
He's losing his daughter Georgina.
534
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,718
She's going to marry the very first
deb's delight that kisses her breasts.
535
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,439
You just know that will happen.
536
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:37,112
He's losing her.
537
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,155
He'll never say anything.
538
00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:43,913
Never say, "I love you, darling. "
539
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,389
When I was 15,
540
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:51,759
I came upon my father and grandfather
sitting on the floor in the library.
541
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,990
They were looking at pictures
and there they were,
542
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:56,833
sitting on the floor in total silence.
543
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:02,035
Like measuring their respective lives
out in silent chunks.
544
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,752
I think there's every chance my father
will go the same way as my grandfather.
545
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:12,755
- Not quite yet, but one day.
- Geraldine, I'm sure that won't happen.
546
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:16,435
But you know what really scares me?
I think, when will it stop?
547
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:20,115
What about Georgina's boy?
When she has a boy.
548
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:21,997
Will it go on and on?
549
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,270
You know, my grandfather
was in the First World War
550
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,715
and my father was in the Second.
551
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:35,349
So maybe that's got
something to do with it, war.
552
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:37,749
So I don't know about that, Mary.
553
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,990
Maybe they never would have talked,
whatever happened.
554
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:46,039
They made the world slow down so much
by never saying anything.
555
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:49,351
When I was growing up,
I screamed for each week to end.
556
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,908
- Well, that's finished now.
- Has it?
557
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:58,396
I missed my chance, Mary.
558
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,354
I'll never forgive myself for that.
559
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:07,634
How did you miss your chance?
560
00:36:07,720 --> 00:36:11,076
- Are you going to write about this?
- No, of course not.
561
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:12,559
Really?
562
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:16,076
Is Felicity suddenly going to turn
into a troubled mad heiress, too?
563
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:18,390
I'm not going to write about this.
564
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:22,359
How will you end her, then?
If you don't use this?
565
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,874
I'll think of a way.
566
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,555
Of course you'll write about it,
because writers are cold.
567
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:32,315
- Cold, cold, cold.
- That is undoubtedly true, Geraldine.
568
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,159
But I would never write about
this conversation,
569
00:36:35,240 --> 00:36:37,629
because it wouldn't fit.
570
00:36:37,720 --> 00:36:40,712
My Felicity was very frivolous
and you aren't.
571
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,877
Remember, though,
you wanted me to write about you.
572
00:36:46,720 --> 00:36:48,153
That's right.
573
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:52,276
But then I knew you'd write about me
the way you did.
574
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,791
What was the opportunity
you missed, Geraldine?
575
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,672
Nothing very much.
576
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,111
I missed a golden chance.
577
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:07,278
When I was tiny, before the war,
there was a house that...
578
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,989
A magical house
in the middle of London, Holland House.
579
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:13,833
Now it's a ruin
in the middle of Holland Park,
580
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:16,878
but then, just like a castle
in a fairy story.
581
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:19,792
A few weeks before war broke out,
there was great ball
582
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,075
attended by everybody
that was everybody.
583
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:26,870
The King and Queen, foreign princes,
prime ministers, Noel Coward, too.
584
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:30,873
I was only five,
of course I didn't go to the ball but...
585
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,633
I overheard everybody talking about it.
586
00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:36,029
My nanny had shown me the house.
587
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:39,554
It was raining the night of the ball.
588
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:44,514
For some reason, I wanted to stay awake
to hear them all come back.
589
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:47,717
I heard the voice of my father
down the passage.
590
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:50,279
Suddenly,
591
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,152
the door of my bedroom was opening
and there he is,
592
00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:56,356
standing there,
593
00:37:56,440 --> 00:38:00,274
very tall and handsome,
and he is soaked from head to foot.
594
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:02,715
And he looks so happy.
595
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,951
The only time I ever remember him
really smiling.
596
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:07,758
My parents were so exhilarated
by that night,
597
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:11,992
they'd left the chauffeur and the car
and walked all the way back in the rain.
598
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,389
The ball had been that magical.
599
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:18,519
My father
600
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:23,274
comes over to me,
he's very close, and he says,
601
00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:25,073
"My angel.
602
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,632
"My little angel. "
603
00:38:27,720 --> 00:38:29,153
That's nice.
604
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:33,199
- So he did put it into words.
- Don't get sentimental on me, Mary.
605
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,032
I was, in fact,
quite a fat little child, rather ugly,
606
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,759
not the skinny thing I am now.
607
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:41,719
You've got to imagine
this podgy child lying there.
608
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:43,950
I'm imagining that.
609
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:45,837
I'm under the sheets.
610
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:49,431
I remember it so clearly, I...
611
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,399
I nearly, so...
612
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:57,633
very nearly, stretch out
my little fist and touch his wet cheek.
613
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,670
But for some reason, I didn't.
614
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,673
I can't understand why I didn't.
615
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,154
What difference would that have made?
616
00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:12,596
You're a fool if you can't see that,
it would have made all the difference.
617
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,750
He remembers the ball but
he doesn't remember coming to see me.
618
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,115
If I had raised my hand,
he wouldn't have forgotten that.
619
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,998
If I had touched him,
because we never...
620
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:26,113
Because we never ever touch.
621
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:29,192
Of course he remembers coming in
and staring down at you.
622
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,748
No, he doesn't remember doing that.
623
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:35,071
I know that for a fact.
624
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:42,117
Everybody's life changed
after that ball.
625
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:43,428
Forever.
626
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:50,155
The war came a few weeks later,
then the house was bombed.
627
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,558
They told us
nothing would be the same again.
628
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,511
In some ways that's true.
629
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,318
But then, here I am.
630
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:06,349
All this time later, lying on this bed,
the night before another ghastly ball.
631
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,000
Everybody going through the motions.
632
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:14,551
The world doesn't seem
to have changed after all.
633
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,513
I don't know how that's really possible.
634
00:40:19,720 --> 00:40:21,676
How have we let that happen?
635
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:26,632
Will it ever change?
636
00:40:26,720 --> 00:40:31,157
You must get away from there, Geraldine.
Start doing something different.
637
00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:35,756
All the new interests you've discovered
over the last few weeks, remember?
638
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,548
Yeah. That's sounds nice and simple.
639
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,311
No doubt it will happen.
640
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:53,957
Geraldine?
641
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,156
Are you still there?
642
00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:57,275
Geraldine?
643
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,473
Geraldine?
644
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:05,359
Geraldine?
645
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:14,239
Still here.
646
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,391
Anyway,
647
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:18,833
you mustn't worry about me, Mary,
648
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,718
under any circumstances,
and do you know why?
649
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,712
I'm not worrying, but tell me why.
650
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,758
Because I'm going to marry
a rich Argentinean.
651
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,189
I fancy living in South America.
652
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:35,078
I haven't met him yet
but I can see him clearly
653
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:36,991
and I'm sure I'll come across him soon.
654
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:39,389
- That sounds terrific.
- It is.
655
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:46,675
The real reason you mustn't worry
about me, Mary, is...
656
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:50,111
I'm much more concerned about you.
657
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:53,397
About me?
Why on earth are you concerned about me?
658
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:56,637
I will tell you,
but you won't listen to me.
659
00:41:56,720 --> 00:41:58,199
I will listen.
660
00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:01,598
You're lying again.
661
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,873
Are we friends, Mary? Tell me honestly.
662
00:42:08,240 --> 00:42:10,390
- In a way.
- In a way, good.
663
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:13,917
That's a good way of putting it.
664
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:15,872
Because we're hardly going to
see each other.
665
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:19,669
In fact, you don't need to stay
until I'm back on Monday.
666
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,354
So it is possible
we'll never see each other again.
667
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:24,556
I'm sure that's not going to happen.
668
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,074
It is what will happen.
669
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:28,639
If you insist.
670
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:33,799
So, why are you worried about me?
671
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,155
Because you were brave,
672
00:42:36,240 --> 00:42:39,232
and terribly,
terribly clear about everything.
673
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,837
But in a way,
and quite a different way to me,
674
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,111
you were foolish, too.
675
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:51,916
Be careful, won't you?
676
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:54,918
This is not a time to take stupid risks.
677
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,468
I won't take stupid risks.
678
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:01,233
Not everybody likes to be seen clearly.
679
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:06,993
You are the one that will make enemies,
you should listen to me.
680
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,469
- I am.
- You should, but you won't.
681
00:43:13,720 --> 00:43:16,473
I would hate for something
to happen to you.
682
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:21,918
We may not see each other again but...
683
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,509
I will be thinking about you,
684
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:25,749
often.
685
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,238
Be careful, Mary.
686
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:33,917
Be careful, won't you?
55864
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