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00:00:00,471 --> 00:00:03,631
(upbeat techno music)
2
00:00:07,151 --> 00:00:10,931
♪ This country is the best around ♪
3
00:00:11,031 --> 00:00:14,091
♪ You can be what you want to be ♪
4
00:00:14,191 --> 00:00:17,651
♪ It's got great infrastructure ♪
5
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:21,371
♪ And a top economy ♪
6
00:00:21,471 --> 00:00:24,571
♪ You can make it as a movie star ♪
7
00:00:24,671 --> 00:00:27,851
♪ A swimmer or a gymnast ♪
8
00:00:27,951 --> 00:00:31,451
♪ It's a land of opportunity ♪
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00:00:31,551 --> 00:00:36,551
♪ If you want to start a small
business, small business ♪
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00:00:40,551 --> 00:00:43,271
(train rumbling)
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00:00:50,991 --> 00:00:53,831
(train whooshing)
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- Mitcham!
13
00:01:02,712 --> 00:01:05,552
(train whirring)
14
00:01:11,352 --> 00:01:13,352
Nunawading!
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- Blackburn
16
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- Blackburn.
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Thanks.
18
00:01:33,312 --> 00:01:34,052
(train whirring)
19
00:01:34,152 --> 00:01:37,612
(relaxing smooth music)
20
00:01:37,712 --> 00:01:39,712
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
21
00:01:41,432 --> 00:01:44,472
No, no, no, no I'm in the kitchen, Kate.
22
00:01:46,312 --> 00:01:49,072
Well its a galley kitchen,
that's why its a bit echoey.
23
00:01:50,993 --> 00:01:52,733
Well I'm cooking corn
24
00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:54,373
and I've just dropped a big ear in the pan
25
00:01:54,473 --> 00:01:57,053
so that's what that was.
26
00:01:57,153 --> 00:02:00,733
So yeah, you'd be the senior journalist,
27
00:02:00,833 --> 00:02:02,133
which would look pretty good wouldn't it.
28
00:02:02,233 --> 00:02:04,613
Kate Gluscam, senior journalist because.
29
00:02:04,713 --> 00:02:06,173
- Sorry what did you say the name
30
00:02:06,273 --> 00:02:07,853
of the paper was again Don?
31
00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:10,093
- Ah, its the Lower Croydon News.
32
00:02:10,193 --> 00:02:12,853
The news of the city of Lower Croydon.
33
00:02:12,953 --> 00:02:13,693
- Oh okay.
34
00:02:13,793 --> 00:02:17,413
- It's a monthly, high
quality publication Kate.
35
00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:20,893
We've got a circulation of about 20,000
36
00:02:20,993 --> 00:02:24,333
which means I've got a
readership of almost 60,000
37
00:02:24,433 --> 00:02:28,453
according to our market research, so yeah,
38
00:02:28,553 --> 00:02:30,453
we're actually not that
far behind The Age,
39
00:02:30,553 --> 00:02:31,653
in terms of reach.
40
00:02:31,753 --> 00:02:34,053
Kate, we really, really aren't.
41
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:39,153
Plus we've got a host of
other, boutique publications
42
00:02:39,753 --> 00:02:41,733
so its pretty exciting times in here
43
00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:43,893
and a great place for a young woman.
44
00:02:43,993 --> 00:02:45,653
- I do have some questions, Don.
45
00:02:45,754 --> 00:02:48,574
- I don't know how you placed
reference commitments Kate,
46
00:02:48,674 --> 00:02:51,334
but I've got a couple of
windows this afternoon
47
00:02:51,434 --> 00:02:53,734
that you could possibly climb
through for an interview
48
00:02:53,834 --> 00:02:56,454
because play your cards
right and by this evening
49
00:02:56,554 --> 00:02:59,214
you could be senior journalist
at World Wide Business group.
50
00:02:59,314 --> 00:03:01,334
- What sort of salary
were you offering, Don?
51
00:03:01,434 --> 00:03:05,414
- Well, initially the company
is offering $15 per hour.
52
00:03:05,514 --> 00:03:06,254
(Kate scoffs)
53
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:07,614
But down the track we're.
54
00:03:07,714 --> 00:03:11,014
(dial tone buzzes)
55
00:03:11,114 --> 00:03:13,114
Well, stay at bloody Marie Claire then.
56
00:03:13,954 --> 00:03:15,454
Shit.
57
00:03:15,554 --> 00:03:17,094
(phone ringing)
58
00:03:17,194 --> 00:03:19,194
Don Angel, World Wide Business Group.
59
00:03:21,314 --> 00:03:23,534
Railway Union Monthly, Pete Mandela
60
00:03:23,634 --> 00:03:26,174
- [Janet] It's Janet Wilson
from Wilson Woodwind & Brass.
61
00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:28,054
- Oh how are you Janet, how's business?
62
00:03:28,154 --> 00:03:29,574
- Oh, we've had better months.
63
00:03:29,674 --> 00:03:30,974
- Glad to hear it.
64
00:03:31,074 --> 00:03:31,974
- Look this article
65
00:03:32,074 --> 00:03:33,774
that's been written with my advertisement.
66
00:03:33,874 --> 00:03:34,614
- Yup.
67
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:35,654
- Where is it?
68
00:03:35,754 --> 00:03:38,174
- Oh Janet, you've got to be joking me,
69
00:03:38,274 --> 00:03:41,784
I, in fact sent that off in an
email to you couple days ago.
70
00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:45,655
- Pete, I think I'm just
not gonna worry about it.
71
00:03:45,755 --> 00:03:46,575
- [Don] Oh come on Janet,
72
00:03:46,675 --> 00:03:48,615
you've gotta spend money to make money.
73
00:03:48,715 --> 00:03:50,215
- In Railway Union Monthly?
74
00:03:50,315 --> 00:03:52,655
- Well I'm trying to grow
your business there darling
75
00:03:52,755 --> 00:03:55,135
I mean, how much is a new flute?
76
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,895
- About two and a half thousand
77
00:03:56,995 --> 00:03:57,775
- And the ad's 500,
78
00:03:57,875 --> 00:04:00,175
I mean you only need one railway worker
79
00:04:00,275 --> 00:04:02,175
to buy himself a new flute
and you're a couple grand up
80
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,855
and actually look there
it is in my outbox Janet,
81
00:04:04,955 --> 00:04:07,235
sent Tuesday, 3:43pm.
82
00:04:08,675 --> 00:04:10,375
- How 'bout a major scale?
83
00:04:10,475 --> 00:04:12,455
Well you may have sent
it but it's not here.
84
00:04:12,555 --> 00:04:13,295
- May have?
85
00:04:13,395 --> 00:04:14,735
Sorry Janet what are you saying?
86
00:04:14,835 --> 00:04:17,415
- No, I just meant that
its not here, that's all.
87
00:04:17,515 --> 00:04:21,655
- Well look I don't know which
bozo ISP you're with but,
88
00:04:21,755 --> 00:04:23,535
look, I'll tell you what I'll do,
I'll send it again now okay.
89
00:04:23,635 --> 00:04:27,375
Jesus Christ, look Janet
90
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:28,675
I think you're gonna be
pretty happy with it, okay?
91
00:04:28,755 --> 00:04:30,215
- No I haven't got anything.
92
00:04:30,315 --> 00:04:32,375
- Yup I don't think they're
instantaneous Janet,
93
00:04:32,475 --> 00:04:33,415
it'll be there in a minute or two.
94
00:04:33,515 --> 00:04:34,615
All right then Janet?
95
00:04:34,715 --> 00:04:35,455
- [Janet] It's not here?
96
00:04:35,556 --> 00:04:38,076
- It will be, too easy,
bye now Janet, bye bye.
97
00:04:39,156 --> 00:04:39,856
Yes mate?
98
00:04:39,956 --> 00:04:41,656
- Are you World Wide Business Group?
99
00:04:41,756 --> 00:04:44,376
- This is World Wide Business Group, yup.
100
00:04:44,476 --> 00:04:46,936
- I'm just dropping off my
curriculum vitae in relation
101
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,456
to the position of journalist.
102
00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:50,016
- By all means.
103
00:04:50,116 --> 00:04:52,976
I need to take a day off
to read them all but.
104
00:04:53,076 --> 00:04:55,216
- What?
105
00:04:55,316 --> 00:04:57,316
- Come in.
106
00:04:58,076 --> 00:05:00,076
Don Angel.
107
00:05:01,516 --> 00:05:02,296
- Ray.
108
00:05:02,396 --> 00:05:03,336
- Nice to meet you Ray.
109
00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:04,976
- Nice to meet you.
110
00:05:05,076 --> 00:05:06,936
This is the document in question.
111
00:05:07,036 --> 00:05:09,916
- Okay, Ray Leonard Leonard.
112
00:05:13,716 --> 00:05:16,896
Born 17, five, '57, yes,
right so, happy birthday.
113
00:05:16,996 --> 00:05:17,736
- Yes.
114
00:05:17,836 --> 00:05:20,016
- Right, so happy birthday.
115
00:05:20,116 --> 00:05:22,116
- Yes.
- Okay.
116
00:05:23,556 --> 00:05:25,556
Big one tonight then?
117
00:05:26,316 --> 00:05:28,316
- Usual size.
118
00:05:29,716 --> 00:05:32,716
- All right, tell me a bit
about yourself, please Ray?
119
00:05:33,797 --> 00:05:34,577
- Well its all in there.
120
00:05:34,677 --> 00:05:37,277
- Yup, just, can you put it
into words there, please.
121
00:05:40,077 --> 00:05:44,217
- Well I worked for two
years at the Daily Telegraph.
122
00:05:44,317 --> 00:05:46,577
Then two years at The Bulletin.
123
00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:49,977
I took a year off to write a book and then
124
00:05:50,077 --> 00:05:51,137
the following 12 years
125
00:05:51,237 --> 00:05:53,237
I was feature writer at The Australian.
126
00:05:54,357 --> 00:05:59,357
- No worries, but we do Footy
Inquest, The Railway Union Monthly
127
00:05:59,757 --> 00:06:02,737
Feelin' Great Magazine,
The Lower Croydon News
128
00:06:02,837 --> 00:06:04,997
and Music, Music, Music, Music.
129
00:06:06,517 --> 00:06:08,817
- Should that not just
be Music, Music, Music?
130
00:06:08,917 --> 00:06:10,857
- Its a printers error, first issue.
131
00:06:10,957 --> 00:06:12,957
So, I stuck with it.
132
00:06:14,117 --> 00:06:16,137
- Which one of those
would I be writing for?
133
00:06:16,237 --> 00:06:19,097
- Well the successful
applicant would oversee
134
00:06:19,197 --> 00:06:22,177
all publications within
the World Wide Group
135
00:06:22,277 --> 00:06:25,397
- Because, I just.
(phone rings)
136
00:06:26,798 --> 00:06:29,098
- Congratulations on choosing
World Wide Business group,
137
00:06:29,198 --> 00:06:30,778
you're talking with Don Angel.
138
00:06:30,878 --> 00:06:33,058
- It's Tony from Tony's Print Solutions.
139
00:06:33,158 --> 00:06:34,018
- Tony, how are you?
140
00:06:34,118 --> 00:06:35,218
How's the family?
141
00:06:35,318 --> 00:06:36,378
- I haven't got time for that shit.
142
00:06:36,478 --> 00:06:37,218
- Glad to hear it.
143
00:06:37,318 --> 00:06:38,658
- Two things, number one,
144
00:06:38,758 --> 00:06:39,818
what's happening with this copy
145
00:06:39,918 --> 00:06:41,818
for Wilson's Woodwind & Brass?
146
00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:44,858
I'm assuming you don't want
a huge hole on page 12,
147
00:06:44,958 --> 00:06:46,858
well I've got other jobs backing up now
148
00:06:46,958 --> 00:06:48,698
so, you know, I've told you this last time
149
00:06:48,798 --> 00:06:50,978
I'm losing money if the
pressers aren't rolling.
150
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,298
- Don't soil yourself there
mate, it's all under control.
151
00:06:53,398 --> 00:06:55,938
I will fill your hole this afternoon.
152
00:06:56,038 --> 00:06:57,378
- A word, knobhead.
153
00:06:57,478 --> 00:06:58,858
- If it's not sorted by four o'clock,
154
00:06:58,958 --> 00:07:00,178
I'm pulling the whole thing off.
155
00:07:00,278 --> 00:07:01,258
And the way things are looking,
156
00:07:01,358 --> 00:07:02,978
you're not getting back on for six days.
157
00:07:03,078 --> 00:07:06,558
Oh, and second, pay me you bastard.
158
00:07:09,078 --> 00:07:14,078
- Okay Tony, yes, oh it's
gotta be the dogs, isn't it?
159
00:07:14,678 --> 00:07:16,538
Okay mate, catch ya, bye.
160
00:07:16,638 --> 00:07:19,098
- 13th of the fourth,
1100 dollars cash advance
161
00:07:19,198 --> 00:07:20,138
to World Wide Business.
162
00:07:20,239 --> 00:07:23,139
25th of the fourth, 750
dollars cash advance
163
00:07:23,239 --> 00:07:24,099
to World Wide Business.
164
00:07:24,199 --> 00:07:26,339
Oh 13th of the fourth, sorry madam,
165
00:07:26,439 --> 00:07:28,379
your card's been rejected.
166
00:07:28,479 --> 00:07:30,499
- You're the primary cardholder.
167
00:07:30,599 --> 00:07:31,379
- Need you to pay this off.
168
00:07:31,479 --> 00:07:34,079
- If I had a dollar for
every time, you'd said that.
169
00:07:35,599 --> 00:07:36,979
It would not help in the slightest.
170
00:07:37,079 --> 00:07:38,379
- Come on you know this is the card
171
00:07:38,479 --> 00:07:40,019
that I use to feed the kids.
172
00:07:40,119 --> 00:07:41,859
- Oh feed the kids, please,
173
00:07:41,959 --> 00:07:43,579
at least these are
legit business expenses.
174
00:07:43,679 --> 00:07:44,419
(woman scoffs)
175
00:07:44,519 --> 00:07:46,619
Not another tattoo on your arse.
176
00:07:46,719 --> 00:07:48,539
- Look its $130 minimum payment
177
00:07:48,639 --> 00:07:50,499
or neither of us gets to use it.
178
00:07:50,599 --> 00:07:52,859
- Railway Union Monthly, due
to the pressures of business,
179
00:07:52,959 --> 00:07:54,019
I'm unable to take your call
180
00:07:54,119 --> 00:07:55,779
but leave your name and number
and I'll get back to you.
181
00:07:55,879 --> 00:07:57,059
Well I've only got 100.
182
00:07:57,159 --> 00:07:58,619
As soon as possible.
183
00:07:58,719 --> 00:07:59,699
- Pay slag him for 30.
184
00:07:59,799 --> 00:08:00,659
- He's here for a job interview.
185
00:08:00,759 --> 00:08:01,939
- [Janet] Look, it's Janet Wilson again.
186
00:08:02,039 --> 00:08:03,499
- Looks like he just got out of jail.
187
00:08:03,599 --> 00:08:05,459
- [Janet] Will you give it a rest?
- I want the rest tomorrow.
188
00:08:05,559 --> 00:08:07,179
- [Janet] That email has not arrived,
189
00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:09,899
I've checked with my
ISP and they assure me
190
00:08:09,999 --> 00:08:11,139
that they are not bozos
191
00:08:11,239 --> 00:08:13,739
and that no problems have been
reported with their system
192
00:08:13,839 --> 00:08:16,699
in the last 72 hours so
they say the problem must be
193
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,800
at your end, thank you.
194
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,600
- What's your phone manner like?
195
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:31,660
- Well.
196
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,940
- Okay, well here's the deal.
197
00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,860
I've stitched up Wilson Woodwind & Brass
198
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,380
for a half-page ad in the
Railway Union Monthly.
199
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:38,500
Now, with every half-page ad,
200
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,460
you get a free editorial with it
201
00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:44,140
so what I need you to do is
to get dirty Janet Wilson
202
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:45,980
on the blower, see what she wants to push,
203
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,340
get some key phrases off her
204
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,120
and knock up 250 words on it, kapish?
205
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,660
- So I've got the job?
206
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,140
- Well, let's learn how to crawl
207
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,780
before we start talking about
doing the City2Surf, yep?
208
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,340
Look, I'll fix you up
with cash and I need this
209
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:03,760
by four o'clock so let's say $12 an hour.
210
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,460
- $36?
211
00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,560
- Yeah, roughly.
212
00:09:11,841 --> 00:09:13,261
- Yep.
213
00:09:13,361 --> 00:09:16,461
(paper crunching)
214
00:09:16,561 --> 00:09:17,301
- That's her.
215
00:09:17,401 --> 00:09:19,661
So knock yourself out.
216
00:09:19,761 --> 00:09:21,781
Oh, and if she asks about an email,
217
00:09:21,881 --> 00:09:24,501
the computer has crashed, okay?
218
00:09:24,601 --> 00:09:25,821
And she'll probably call me Pete
219
00:09:25,921 --> 00:09:27,861
but don't worry about it.
220
00:09:27,961 --> 00:09:29,621
You want a cup of tea?
221
00:09:29,721 --> 00:09:31,221
- Yeah.
- Yep.
222
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,321
50 cents.
223
00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:38,021
Do you want me to take it out of your pay?
224
00:09:38,121 --> 00:09:39,181
- Yeah.
225
00:09:39,281 --> 00:09:41,901
- Okay, so that's 35.50.
226
00:09:42,001 --> 00:09:43,501
- Okay.
- Okay.
227
00:09:43,601 --> 00:09:45,601
Too easy.
228
00:09:51,001 --> 00:09:53,641
(phone beeping)
229
00:09:57,521 --> 00:10:00,501
♪ Go on Norman, go ♪
230
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:03,281
- Janet, it's Ray Leonard here.
231
00:10:04,561 --> 00:10:07,461
No, no, no, I've moved on.
232
00:10:07,562 --> 00:10:10,842
No I'm with the Railway Union Monthly now.
233
00:10:11,842 --> 00:10:14,622
Look, I'm just putting
together your editorial
234
00:10:14,722 --> 00:10:16,182
for our next issue.
235
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,302
- But Pete told me he'd
emailed that already.
236
00:10:19,402 --> 00:10:23,782
- Yeah, well, unfortunately
the computer crashed so.
237
00:10:23,882 --> 00:10:26,262
- So it just sucked the email back out
238
00:10:26,362 --> 00:10:27,662
of the computer?
239
00:10:27,762 --> 00:10:28,942
- How do you have it?
240
00:10:29,042 --> 00:10:30,822
- Strong black.
241
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,262
Sorry.
242
00:10:32,362 --> 00:10:35,262
My first thought was to
draw some sort of analogy
243
00:10:35,362 --> 00:10:37,902
with John Coltrane's quest.
244
00:10:38,002 --> 00:10:38,742
As they call it
245
00:10:38,842 --> 00:10:42,502
and say a potential customer's
musical development.
246
00:10:42,602 --> 00:10:44,962
Would that sound like
the sort of thing that.
247
00:10:46,722 --> 00:10:48,182
Price blowout?
248
00:10:48,282 --> 00:10:49,822
- A trumpet price blowout.
249
00:10:49,922 --> 00:10:52,262
- Trumpet price blowout.
250
00:10:52,362 --> 00:10:53,782
- And I want you to
work the season in too.
251
00:10:53,882 --> 00:10:56,782
- What, a reference to
Vivaldi's "Four Seasons"?
252
00:10:56,882 --> 00:10:59,702
- No, autumn sale.
253
00:10:59,802 --> 00:11:01,802
- Autumn sale, uh-huh.
254
00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:07,863
Prices falling like leaves, yep.
255
00:11:07,963 --> 00:11:09,103
- And don't forget the trumpets.
256
00:11:09,203 --> 00:11:12,263
- Trumpets, price blowout,
yes I've got that.
257
00:11:12,363 --> 00:11:13,983
Yes, I have written that down, yeah.
258
00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:15,863
- And I'll need that by two.
259
00:11:15,963 --> 00:11:19,783
- By two, oh, I don't know if.
260
00:11:19,883 --> 00:11:21,583
- Are you all right with that?
261
00:11:21,683 --> 00:11:24,903
- Yep, yep, I'll have it
to you as close to two
262
00:11:25,003 --> 00:11:27,563
as I can or by two, yes.
263
00:11:28,643 --> 00:11:30,543
Thank you Janet.
264
00:11:30,643 --> 00:11:32,643
Thank you.
265
00:11:34,723 --> 00:11:36,723
- Fancy going Dutch on a chook?
266
00:11:38,163 --> 00:11:38,903
- Yeah, all right.
267
00:11:39,003 --> 00:11:42,123
- So what, 10 bucks each?
268
00:11:43,923 --> 00:11:45,923
Take it outta your pay?
269
00:11:46,763 --> 00:11:49,923
So that's 25.50.
270
00:11:55,164 --> 00:11:57,224
Do you like the stuffing?
271
00:11:57,324 --> 00:11:59,324
- Yes, thank you.
272
00:12:07,364 --> 00:12:09,364
- Excuse me.
273
00:12:10,084 --> 00:12:12,084
There you go.
274
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:30,244
So Ray, what have you been
doing since The Australian, hm?
275
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:36,044
- Nothing.
276
00:12:38,084 --> 00:12:40,084
I haven't worked for six years.
277
00:12:41,004 --> 00:12:43,004
I've been ill.
278
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,904
(phone beeping)
279
00:12:48,004 --> 00:12:49,824
(phone rings)
280
00:12:49,924 --> 00:12:51,934
- Bad cold was it or?
281
00:12:53,485 --> 00:12:54,905
- Chronic fatigue.
282
00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:56,425
- Oh, yuppie flu.
283
00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:58,525
I was close.
284
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:02,845
- Woke up one morning and
just couldn't get out of bed.
285
00:13:04,725 --> 00:13:06,665
- [Julia] Ron Grealy
Accountants, Julia speaking.
286
00:13:06,765 --> 00:13:09,305
- Oh hello Julia, it's James White here
287
00:13:09,405 --> 00:13:11,545
from Music, Music, Music, Music.
288
00:13:11,645 --> 00:13:13,265
Could I speak to Ron please?
289
00:13:13,365 --> 00:13:15,145
- What's it in regard to, James?
290
00:13:15,245 --> 00:13:17,385
- It's in regards to
Music, Music, Music, Music.
291
00:13:17,485 --> 00:13:18,625
- Is that four musics?
292
00:13:18,725 --> 00:13:20,725
- Yes, four.
293
00:13:22,765 --> 00:13:24,705
- He's having a look at
something at the moment,
294
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,185
I'll just see if he's available.
295
00:13:26,285 --> 00:13:28,285
- Thanking you, Julia.
296
00:13:28,805 --> 00:13:32,345
Actually, that is a very,
very nice use of spot color.
297
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,545
Who else has got a red and white flag?
298
00:13:34,645 --> 00:13:36,065
The Red Cross.
299
00:13:36,165 --> 00:13:38,025
I wonder if I could take
them for a quarter page.
300
00:13:38,125 --> 00:13:40,545
Is there a disaster or
an earthquake somewhere?
301
00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:42,425
Something we can use as a hook?
302
00:13:42,525 --> 00:13:44,745
Tell you what, Ray, use your bloody Google
303
00:13:44,845 --> 00:13:45,865
and gimme a list of all the countries
304
00:13:45,966 --> 00:13:47,586
that have got red and white flags.
305
00:13:47,686 --> 00:13:48,706
- [Ron] Ron Grealy.
306
00:13:48,806 --> 00:13:50,306
- Ron Grealy, it's James White here
307
00:13:50,406 --> 00:13:52,026
from Music, Music, Music, Music.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
308
00:13:52,126 --> 00:13:54,826
- Yep, okay, well, what I'm
actually calling about Ron
309
00:13:54,926 --> 00:13:56,906
is I've spotted your advertisement
310
00:13:57,006 --> 00:13:59,466
in the local leader there Ron
311
00:13:59,566 --> 00:14:00,906
and I hope you don't mind me saying so
312
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:04,426
but I actually thought
it was a little drab.
313
00:14:04,526 --> 00:14:05,226
- Did you now?
314
00:14:05,326 --> 00:14:06,506
- I really, really did Ron.
315
00:14:06,606 --> 00:14:08,546
I thought it let you down,
to be perfectly Francis
316
00:14:08,646 --> 00:14:09,426
and I hope you don't mind
317
00:14:09,526 --> 00:14:13,346
but could you just check
your inbox please Ron.
318
00:14:13,446 --> 00:14:14,506
- Yeah.
319
00:14:14,606 --> 00:14:18,346
- I've just emailed you an ad
that I've taken the liberty
320
00:14:18,446 --> 00:14:20,866
of mocking up for you which
I think you're gonna find
321
00:14:20,966 --> 00:14:22,666
far more effective as a means.
322
00:14:22,766 --> 00:14:25,146
- For sound tax advice, Ron Grealy.
323
00:14:25,246 --> 00:14:26,546
- There you go.
324
00:14:26,646 --> 00:14:29,186
- And the woman's legs,
what would they be about?
325
00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:32,266
- You know, that would be your logo, Ron,
326
00:14:32,366 --> 00:14:33,866
it's something to catch the eye.
327
00:14:33,966 --> 00:14:35,266
- Yeah, well, what do a woman's legs
328
00:14:35,366 --> 00:14:36,906
got to do with tax advice?
329
00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:39,866
- All right, well, why don't
we put across the top there,
330
00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:42,586
you know, in between the legs, you know,
331
00:14:42,687 --> 00:14:45,107
not getting enough at tax time?
332
00:14:45,207 --> 00:14:47,207
You with me?
333
00:14:47,727 --> 00:14:49,727
- That's not bad actually?
334
00:14:50,207 --> 00:14:51,227
Sorry, you said your name.
335
00:14:51,327 --> 00:14:53,027
- Yes I did, it's James.
336
00:14:53,127 --> 00:14:56,867
- Well, it kinda gives me a
sorta sexy image, doesn't it?
337
00:14:56,967 --> 00:14:57,907
- It really, really does Ron
338
00:14:58,007 --> 00:14:59,707
and that's actually what I was going for.
339
00:14:59,807 --> 00:15:03,027
- Maybe you could stick
a picture of my face
340
00:15:03,127 --> 00:15:05,647
between the legs, smiling
and looking there, eh?
341
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:08,867
- Yes, yes.
342
00:15:08,967 --> 00:15:10,227
Some women might not go for that Ron.
343
00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:12,987
That might actually cost
you some female clients but.
344
00:15:13,087 --> 00:15:15,447
- Still, be rather funny
though wouldn't it eh?
345
00:15:16,727 --> 00:15:19,627
- It'd be hysterical Ron,
it really, really would.
346
00:15:19,727 --> 00:15:20,707
- All right, I'll tell you what,
347
00:15:20,807 --> 00:15:23,027
why don't you, you know, send me a copy
of your magazine and some guff
348
00:15:23,127 --> 00:15:25,227
about the rates and
circulation stuff all right?
349
00:15:25,327 --> 00:15:27,187
- Absolutely too easy there, Ron.
350
00:15:27,287 --> 00:15:28,467
Look, actually what I'll do for you
351
00:15:28,567 --> 00:15:30,267
is I'll put aside a
quarter page ad for you now
352
00:15:30,367 --> 00:15:32,667
because this thing is
really starting to fill up
353
00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:34,667
and I'll get all that
literature out to you
354
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,147
and we can firm it up
in the next day or two.
355
00:15:36,248 --> 00:15:37,548
- All right, I'll think about it, okay?
356
00:15:37,648 --> 00:15:38,428
- Yep, have a think about it
357
00:15:38,528 --> 00:15:40,148
but I have put that
quarter page aside for you.
358
00:15:40,248 --> 00:15:41,068
- All right, I'll have a look at it.
359
00:15:41,168 --> 00:15:41,908
- Yep, have a look at it
360
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:43,068
and we'll firm it up
in the next day or two.
361
00:15:43,168 --> 00:15:43,908
Nice talking to you Ron.
362
00:15:44,008 --> 00:15:44,908
- All right, thanks mate.
363
00:15:45,008 --> 00:15:46,508
- Hopefully this is the
start of a wonderful.
364
00:15:46,608 --> 00:15:48,788
(dial tone beeping)
365
00:15:48,888 --> 00:15:51,448
(Don laughing)
366
00:15:52,408 --> 00:15:54,828
Oh dearie me.
367
00:15:54,928 --> 00:15:56,928
Oh, up she comes.
368
00:16:01,048 --> 00:16:06,048
Weighing approximately 75
kilograms, dirty Ron Grealy.
369
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:11,048
(phone dinging)
370
00:16:24,528 --> 00:16:27,388
(upbeat music)
371
00:16:27,488 --> 00:16:30,328
What are you doing for money, Ray?
372
00:16:31,249 --> 00:16:33,069
- Sickness benefits.
373
00:16:33,169 --> 00:16:34,749
- Oh yeah, jeez.
374
00:16:34,849 --> 00:16:36,509
This new bloody government,
I tell you what.
375
00:16:36,609 --> 00:16:38,109
Interest rates, sickness benefits.
376
00:16:38,209 --> 00:16:40,209
It's all back on isn't it, huh?
377
00:16:41,449 --> 00:16:43,449
You still on the sickness benefits?
378
00:16:45,009 --> 00:16:46,429
- Yes.
379
00:16:46,529 --> 00:16:48,529
- What causes chronic fatigue?
380
00:16:50,089 --> 00:16:51,549
- Leslie.
381
00:16:51,649 --> 00:16:53,649
- Leslie the wife?
382
00:16:54,569 --> 00:16:56,589
Daughter?
383
00:16:56,689 --> 00:16:58,689
- This is her Myspace page.
384
00:17:04,049 --> 00:17:06,049
- Well, she can't be yours, she's hot.
385
00:17:07,729 --> 00:17:09,349
Who's the Lieutenants of God?
386
00:17:09,449 --> 00:17:11,449
- Don't know.
387
00:17:11,929 --> 00:17:14,829
- Hi brothers and sisters in Jesus.
388
00:17:14,929 --> 00:17:17,649
It's Leslie, and the Lord, our savior.
389
00:17:18,729 --> 00:17:21,429
Here's a short video of one of
our beautiful prayer sessions
390
00:17:21,529 --> 00:17:23,749
down at the Lieutenants of God Ministry.
391
00:17:23,849 --> 00:17:28,269
So, come join me soon and
bask in the happy, happy light
392
00:17:28,370 --> 00:17:30,370
of the Lord, yeah (laughs).
393
00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:36,130
(people shouting)
(upbeat rock music)
394
00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:03,910
- I've been to sales
conferences like that, Ray.
395
00:18:04,010 --> 00:18:06,010
Ray?
- Hm?
396
00:18:07,530 --> 00:18:10,170
- How'd you go with those
red and white flags?
397
00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:14,910
- Indonesia, Holland, Peru, Singapore.
398
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:16,790
- Peru?
399
00:18:16,890 --> 00:18:18,890
Peru, Peru, Peru.
400
00:18:23,531 --> 00:18:28,011
Oh, 12 dead, dozens injured
in a Peruvian train crash.
401
00:18:28,931 --> 00:18:30,631
I mean, that's terrible for them obviously
402
00:18:30,731 --> 00:18:32,791
but, you know, life goes on.
403
00:18:32,891 --> 00:18:36,791
So, let's sucker up the cuisine
guide for some Peruvian.
404
00:18:36,891 --> 00:18:39,911
Oh, the Lima Express.
405
00:18:40,011 --> 00:18:42,351
Hold onto your llamas,
people, here I come.
406
00:18:42,451 --> 00:18:45,551
(phone beeping)
407
00:18:45,651 --> 00:18:46,591
(phone ringing)
408
00:18:46,691 --> 00:18:48,971
Just taking up a collection
for your birthday.
409
00:18:51,011 --> 00:18:52,631
- How much has everyone else put in?
410
00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:54,771
- Oh, you know, 10 bucks.
411
00:18:55,691 --> 00:18:57,691
Shall I take it outta your pay?
412
00:18:58,451 --> 00:19:00,571
So that's 15.50.
413
00:19:01,451 --> 00:19:03,191
- [Blanca] Lima Express.
414
00:19:03,291 --> 00:19:05,231
- Is that mine host, Blanca?
415
00:19:05,331 --> 00:19:07,711
- Yes, Blanca, Lima Express.
416
00:19:07,811 --> 00:19:10,311
- Blanca, it's Keriac Amenas
here from Footy Inquest
417
00:19:10,411 --> 00:19:12,411
and yes he is my cousin.
418
00:19:14,211 --> 00:19:18,071
But what I'm actually calling you
about today Blanca is, hello?
419
00:19:18,172 --> 00:19:20,172
- Yes.
420
00:19:20,772 --> 00:19:22,752
- Blanca, look, I was extremely moved
421
00:19:22,852 --> 00:19:25,392
and really quite upset
to be honest with you
422
00:19:25,492 --> 00:19:26,832
about the bit in the news today
423
00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:28,792
about the train crash in Peru.
424
00:19:28,892 --> 00:19:30,472
- No, no, no, the lamb, the lamb.
425
00:19:30,572 --> 00:19:33,152
- I hope you personally
haven't lost anyone close,
426
00:19:33,252 --> 00:19:33,952
have you Blanca?
427
00:19:34,052 --> 00:19:34,792
- Where you from?
428
00:19:34,892 --> 00:19:35,872
- Footy Inquest Magazine.
429
00:19:35,972 --> 00:19:37,272
It's a high quality weekly wrap up
430
00:19:37,372 --> 00:19:38,592
of all things football.
431
00:19:38,692 --> 00:19:39,432
- What is this?
432
00:19:39,532 --> 00:19:40,792
- Look, I understand
you're a busy woman Blanca
433
00:19:40,892 --> 00:19:42,272
so I will come straight to the point,
434
00:19:42,372 --> 00:19:45,712
as a mark of my respect
and a gesture towards the.
435
00:19:45,812 --> 00:19:47,912
- Table, table two, table two.
436
00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:49,992
- Okay, look I'm offering a 10% discount
437
00:19:50,092 --> 00:19:52,512
to all Peruvian businesses
who take out an ad
438
00:19:52,612 --> 00:19:54,152
in Footy Inquest Magazine
439
00:19:54,252 --> 00:19:55,992
so that anyone who cuts out that ad
440
00:19:56,092 --> 00:19:57,632
and brings it in to your restaurant,
441
00:19:57,732 --> 00:20:00,872
you, Blanca, donate 20%
of the cost of that meal
442
00:20:00,972 --> 00:20:03,992
to the Peruvian Disaster Relief Fund.
443
00:20:04,092 --> 00:20:05,032
- How much you want?
444
00:20:05,132 --> 00:20:06,392
- Well, that depends because,
445
00:20:06,492 --> 00:20:09,312
well a full page ad is $1500.
446
00:20:09,412 --> 00:20:11,072
- How much for the small one?
447
00:20:11,173 --> 00:20:12,353
- A 16th of a page?
448
00:20:12,453 --> 00:20:14,453
That's $120.
449
00:20:14,973 --> 00:20:15,673
- [Blanca] Okay.
450
00:20:15,773 --> 00:20:16,593
- The 16th of a page?
451
00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:18,513
- Okay.
452
00:20:18,613 --> 00:20:21,473
- Terrific, well, I think that's
a wonderful gesture Blanca.
453
00:20:21,573 --> 00:20:23,033
- The fucking lamb!
454
00:20:23,133 --> 00:20:25,473
- And, look, would you
like any special message
455
00:20:25,573 --> 00:20:27,393
in the ad for the people in Peru
456
00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:29,153
who are suffering, you know, so badly
457
00:20:29,253 --> 00:20:29,993
at this point in time.
458
00:20:30,093 --> 00:20:30,913
- No, no, you do, okay?
459
00:20:31,013 --> 00:20:33,033
You do, I have to go now, okay?
460
00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:33,873
Bye bye.
461
00:20:33,973 --> 00:20:35,433
- Okay, bye now Blanca, bye now.
462
00:20:35,533 --> 00:20:37,533
- [Blanca] The fucking lamb!
463
00:20:40,253 --> 00:20:42,613
- That is better than a root, right?
464
00:20:43,853 --> 00:20:45,853
Better than the last one I had anyway?
465
00:20:47,493 --> 00:20:50,193
God I love small business.
466
00:20:50,293 --> 00:20:52,293
I mean, isn't that exciting?
467
00:20:52,933 --> 00:20:55,133
Doesn't that make you
feel good to be alive?
468
00:20:56,653 --> 00:20:59,253
(upbeat music)
469
00:21:15,614 --> 00:21:17,614
Where's me Kit Kats?
470
00:21:18,614 --> 00:21:20,614
- All right, Janet, how does this sound?
471
00:21:21,694 --> 00:21:24,554
Autumn traditionally signifies change.
472
00:21:24,654 --> 00:21:28,834
It's a time of romance,
open fires, and mulled wine.
473
00:21:28,934 --> 00:21:33,094
This year, however, it signifies
a trumpet price blowout
474
00:21:34,094 --> 00:21:37,794
because as the leaves turn
brown and fall from the trees,
475
00:21:37,894 --> 00:21:41,234
so do the prices at
Wilson Woodwind & Brass.
476
00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:42,594
No, I have to change that bit
477
00:21:42,694 --> 00:21:45,354
because that sounds like
the prices are turning brown
478
00:21:45,454 --> 00:21:47,354
as well as falling, anyway.
479
00:21:47,454 --> 00:21:49,454
- [Don] Jesus, what's happened here?
480
00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:53,874
- For as long as I can
remember, autumn has always been
481
00:21:53,974 --> 00:21:57,174
the best time to buy a new
woodwind or brass instrument.
482
00:21:58,054 --> 00:21:59,874
Perhaps it's the crispness of the air
483
00:21:59,974 --> 00:22:02,404
that makes the flute
resonate, the oboe sing,
484
00:22:02,495 --> 00:22:04,735
and the trumpet ring so true.
485
00:22:05,895 --> 00:22:07,915
Or perhaps it's the warm glow of brass
486
00:22:08,015 --> 00:22:10,155
in the soft-filtered autumn sunlight
487
00:22:10,255 --> 00:22:11,835
that turns a man's thoughts
488
00:22:11,935 --> 00:22:14,495
to top-of-the-range trombones and bugles.
489
00:22:15,615 --> 00:22:18,475
Whatever the reason,
autumn is the perfect time
490
00:22:18,575 --> 00:22:22,195
for a trumpet price blowout,
as it currently taking place
491
00:22:22,295 --> 00:22:24,355
at Wilson Woodwind & Brass
492
00:22:24,455 --> 00:22:27,195
and with Janet Wilson's
generous five percent discount
493
00:22:27,295 --> 00:22:29,295
to all Railway Union members,
494
00:22:29,895 --> 00:22:32,675
there's never been a better
time for a rail worker
495
00:22:32,775 --> 00:22:34,855
to blow his own trumpet.
496
00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:38,395
That's it.
497
00:22:38,495 --> 00:22:40,495
- That's beautiful, Ray.
498
00:22:41,335 --> 00:22:43,335
It's poetry.
499
00:22:44,735 --> 00:22:47,995
And you've got the trumpets in there
500
00:22:48,095 --> 00:22:51,335
and the bugles and the whole
blowout thing works so well.
501
00:22:56,256 --> 00:22:58,816
You've got a lovely touch, Ray.
502
00:23:00,816 --> 00:23:02,816
It's quite sensual.
503
00:23:05,776 --> 00:23:07,776
- Oh.
504
00:23:08,416 --> 00:23:11,596
And Janet, would you be at all interested
505
00:23:11,696 --> 00:23:15,116
in buying another advertisement
in the next issue,
506
00:23:15,216 --> 00:23:19,416
perhaps a smaller one or is
it just not worth the bother?
507
00:23:21,256 --> 00:23:24,156
- Why don't you call
me in a couple of weeks
508
00:23:24,256 --> 00:23:26,036
and we'll see how this one goes
509
00:23:26,136 --> 00:23:28,136
and take it from there.
510
00:23:29,536 --> 00:23:30,556
- Thank you Janet.
511
00:23:30,656 --> 00:23:32,656
- Thank you Ray (chuckles).
512
00:23:34,536 --> 00:23:35,876
Bye.
513
00:23:35,976 --> 00:23:36,716
Bye.
514
00:23:36,816 --> 00:23:38,816
- Goodbye.
515
00:23:41,176 --> 00:23:42,956
- What's your story with the toilet?
516
00:23:43,056 --> 00:23:45,036
- What?
517
00:23:45,136 --> 00:23:47,136
- Why didn't you flush?
518
00:23:48,816 --> 00:23:51,596
- Well I saw that you hadn't so I thought
519
00:23:51,697 --> 00:23:54,037
it must be some sort of
water-conservation policy
520
00:23:54,137 --> 00:23:56,357
so I just left mine on top of yours.
521
00:23:56,457 --> 00:23:58,737
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
522
00:23:59,897 --> 00:24:00,997
I don't wanna hear that.
523
00:24:01,097 --> 00:24:03,837
Flushing is the policy here at all times.
524
00:24:03,937 --> 00:24:07,217
I was actually distracted earlier so.
525
00:24:08,337 --> 00:24:11,277
In future, all parcels
from that department
526
00:24:11,377 --> 00:24:13,737
go express post to Werribee.
527
00:24:15,257 --> 00:24:15,997
Okay?
528
00:24:16,097 --> 00:24:18,097
- Yes.
529
00:24:21,297 --> 00:24:22,317
- Happy birthday.
530
00:24:22,417 --> 00:24:24,737
(cork pops)
531
00:24:25,617 --> 00:24:28,217
(upbeat music)
532
00:24:30,817 --> 00:24:32,797
♪ The Sydney Harbor Bridge ♪
533
00:24:32,897 --> 00:24:35,677
♪ It lights up on New Years Eve ♪
534
00:24:35,777 --> 00:24:40,797
♪ Revealing to the world just
what Aussies can achieve ♪
535
00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:41,637
♪ Snowy mountain ♪
536
00:24:41,737 --> 00:24:43,737
Can you believe that is only 6.50.
537
00:24:44,857 --> 00:24:46,857
Oh, I nearly forgot.
538
00:24:47,818 --> 00:24:50,738
That's 15.50.
539
00:24:52,298 --> 00:24:54,298
And not a word to the tax man.
540
00:24:56,978 --> 00:24:59,398
♪ It's no wonder my ♪
541
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:01,598
How much are the sickness benefits?
542
00:25:01,698 --> 00:25:04,558
- $537 and 70 cents a fortnight.
543
00:25:04,658 --> 00:25:06,658
- Jeez, that's all right, isn't it eh?
544
00:25:09,778 --> 00:25:11,598
Think Marcus Good or James White
545
00:25:11,698 --> 00:25:13,158
might have to put in a claim.
546
00:25:13,258 --> 00:25:15,858
They've been feeling a bit
fatigued lately (laughs).
547
00:25:17,218 --> 00:25:19,638
♪ Rest upon our laurels ♪
548
00:25:19,738 --> 00:25:22,798
♪ Railway crossin' ♪
549
00:25:22,898 --> 00:25:27,898
So come on Ray, journo with
The Aus, published author.
550
00:25:30,138 --> 00:25:32,138
What are you really doing here?
551
00:25:36,138 --> 00:25:38,038
- My psychologist thought
it was an important step
552
00:25:38,138 --> 00:25:40,138
in addressing my depression.
553
00:25:41,779 --> 00:25:44,019
It's called cognitive behavior therapy.
554
00:25:46,339 --> 00:25:48,339
It's confronting your fears,
555
00:25:49,019 --> 00:25:51,239
like standing on a train full of strangers
556
00:25:51,339 --> 00:25:53,359
and shouting out the names of the stations
557
00:25:53,459 --> 00:25:55,459
as you stop at them.
558
00:26:02,779 --> 00:26:04,679
♪ Turned this land from barren waste ♪
559
00:26:04,779 --> 00:26:06,559
♪ To an all-out paradise ♪
560
00:26:06,659 --> 00:26:07,399
So.
561
00:26:07,499 --> 00:26:09,599
♪ It's no wonder my ♪
562
00:26:09,699 --> 00:26:11,859
Should I come in tomorrow?
563
00:26:14,099 --> 00:26:16,739
♪ Quite as nice ♪
564
00:26:29,859 --> 00:26:31,679
♪ Turned this land from barren waste ♪
565
00:26:31,779 --> 00:26:34,439
♪ To an all-out paradise ♪
566
00:26:34,539 --> 00:26:36,359
♪ It's no wonder my grands plopped here ♪
567
00:26:36,460 --> 00:26:41,200
♪ 'Cause there's nowhere,
nowhere, nowhere ♪
568
00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:46,240
♪ Quite as nice ♪
569
00:26:46,340 --> 00:26:49,340
♪ Not quite as nice ♪
570
00:26:49,390 --> 00:26:53,940
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