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1
00:00:00,467 --> 00:00:02,497
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,229
(CROWD CHEERING ON TV)
3
00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:38,236
MAN: (ON TV) Those werethe first points scoredby someone
4
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,139
other than Blankardin the quarter.
5
00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:42,711
And New York keepschipping away that lead.
6
00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:46,751
Here's Ward on thedribble drive.
7
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:48,247
(WHIRRING)
8
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,916
Dad, do you have
to do that right now?
9
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:53,219
Yes, ma'am.
10
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:58,320
instead of sitting around
rotting your brains out
watching TV all day.
11
00:00:58,725 --> 00:00:59,885
What's this (BLEEP)?
12
00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,434
YUNG: It's the WNBA.
13
00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:04,161
Oh, my God!
Are you a lesbian?
14
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:05,755
No, I'm not a lesbian.
15
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:08,266
You're a lesbian
and you're afraid
to come out to me.
16
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:09,869
Is that why you
drinkin' and druggin',
17
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:11,670
because you have
so much shame?
18
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,672
This is all Pigeon's, not me.
19
00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:16,943
Yung, I will love you
no matter who you
choose to lay with.
20
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:18,514
-(THUDDING)
-PIGEON: Ah!
21
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:19,952
Turn it off, turn it off!
22
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,207
What the hell is that?
23
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:22,575
Dad, shut it off!
24
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,283
(VACUUM POWERING DOWN)
25
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:26,791
You sucked up Pigeon again.
26
00:01:28,621 --> 00:01:30,291
(COUGHING)
27
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:32,691
What the hell
is the matter with you?
28
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:35,690
Didn't you see me
passed out on the floor?
29
00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:37,925
Oh, man.
Now I gotta vacuum again.
30
00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:40,802
Mystery Team,
guess what I have in my hands?
31
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:42,601
PIGEON:
Your resignation letter.
32
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:43,603
No!
33
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,774
-Your suicide note.
-Hey, what!
34
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,273
What is wrong with you?
35
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,944
A drawing
of your penis to scale.
36
00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:50,613
Oh, oh, okay.
37
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:53,381
Because it's small.
Okay, very clever. No!
38
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:54,550
It's a mystery.
39
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,818
Ooh, WNBA! Okay.
40
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,680
Well, oh, the mystery.
41
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,152
"Dear Mr. Tyson, please hurry,
42
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:04,385
"something terrible
has happened,"
signed Judith Ensler.
43
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:06,631
(GASPS)
Then there's just an address.
44
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,330
Oh, good.
That's near Cost-Lo.
45
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:10,932
And I'm gonna get some hummus.
46
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,271
Oh, man.
They got great hummus.
47
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,567
To the Mystery Mobile!
48
00:02:16,169 --> 00:02:19,339
-PIGEON: So, I understand
you're a lesbian now, huh?
-(YUNG SCOFFS)
49
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:22,270
MIKE: Okay, ma'am, calm down.Tell us what happened.
50
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:23,806
(CRYING)
It's my husband.
51
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,907
It's so horrible!
52
00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:27,813
I can't, I can't.
53
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,175
(SOBBING)
54
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:35,485
There, there.
We've been in the mystery
business for a long time.
55
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,819
And it's never
as bad as it seems.
56
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:40,655
PIGEON: Holy (BLEEP)!
They cut off his head!
57
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:44,330
Oh, my (BLEEP) God.
What is that?
Is that his dick?
58
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:47,271
They cut off his dick
and stuck it in his mouth!
59
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:49,538
What the (BLEEP)!
Where are his feet?
60
00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:52,537
Okay, ma'am, I'm gonna
have to ask you something.
61
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:56,940
May I put my hummus
is your refrigerator, please?
62
00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:00,308
MIKE:
Don't worry, Miss Ensler,
63
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,954
we're gonna
solve this mystery.
64
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:04,649
(WHISPERING)
Michael, this is
a matter for the police!
65
00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:07,392
Marquess, the police have more
important things to deal with.
66
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:10,788
The man's penis
is sticking out
from his own mouth!
67
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:14,956
I'm so sorry, ma'am.
68
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:17,902
This is a crime scene!
We shouldn't be here.
69
00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:19,971
Do you have any idea
who would have done this?
70
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,827
My husband is a psychiatrist.
71
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,965
He has a number
of very troubled patients.
72
00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:25,271
You could search his laptop.
73
00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:27,341
I think he had it with him
in the study.
74
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,741
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
75
00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:30,478
Shit, it's my agent.
76
00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:32,240
I gotta take this.
77
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:34,346
Marquess, go get his laptop.
78
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:36,778
No!
I am not going back in there.
79
00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:38,877
-Pigeon?
-Oh, I see!
80
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:43,016
So this dead guy
can't handle looking
at another dead guy.
81
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,023
Well, that's just great!
82
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:48,455
Maybe I'll get lucky
and find his feet.
83
00:03:48,861 --> 00:03:50,501
MIKE: What's up, Deezy?
84
00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:52,027
No, man, I'm just chilin'.
85
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:53,502
I can talk.
86
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,230
What kind of
business opportunity?
87
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,396
PIGEON: Where
exactly in the study?
88
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,274
I don't know.
Maybe the desk?
89
00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:01,213
-Look in the drawers.
-(DRAWER OPENING)
90
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,278
PIGEON:
Oh, for Christ's sakes!
What is this?
91
00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:04,437
I can't understand you.
92
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:09,245
I hate talking on cellphones.
Why don't you
just come over here?
93
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:10,250
PIGEON: Holy (BLEEP)!
They cut off his hands!
94
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:11,351
No, I'm not in my house.
Hold on,
95
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:13,022
I'm going to
put you on with the lady
who lives here
96
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:15,350
and she'll give
you the directions.
97
00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:16,586
PIGEON: Ah! Found his feet.
98
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,790
It's Deezy. Tell him
how to get here, please.
99
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:19,862
PIGEON: Here you go.
100
00:04:20,226 --> 00:04:22,756
I'll be having
nightmares about that
101
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,303
for the rest of my life.
102
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:29,273
Look, Deezy, I don't know
anything about ties.
103
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:31,540
You don't need to, man.
That's my job.
104
00:04:31,704 --> 00:04:33,644
I'll hook you up
with the money-making
opportunities.
105
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,241
And I think
this is a good one.
106
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:37,542
I don't know, Deezy.
What do you think, Pigeon?
107
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:40,705
Tyson Ties.
108
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:43,784
Because the "Ty" in Tyson
sounds like "tie"?
109
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,554
Yeah, that's it.
You got it, Pigeon.
110
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:46,822
It's symbiotic.
111
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,350
Yeah.
Oh, I already had it.
112
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,558
Hey, didn't we already
do something like this?
113
00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:54,327
No, you're thinking
of Mike Pad Thai-son
frozen Thai food.
114
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,300
Did we make money on that?
115
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:58,627
We did all right.
We did real good in the south.
116
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,072
Oh, oh, I got one.
117
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,627
Mike Ty-Sun Screen.
118
00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:05,335
You're a day late, Pigeon.
We already did that one.
119
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:06,309
And it was a shitty idea.
120
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,642
We lost 14 million on it.
121
00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:08,974
You better be careful, Mike.
122
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,906
This guy's gonna
water down your brand.
123
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:13,351
-Oh, you've got
a lot of opinions.
-Yeah, I do.
124
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:15,347
A lot of words come out
of such a small beak.
125
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,549
Yeah, well, you're an idiot.
126
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:17,923
You know what I'd like to do?
127
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,918
Deep fry your ass
and eat you for dinner.
128
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,750
Oh, you eat pigeon, do ya?
129
00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:25,324
You know who else eats pigeon?
Filthy homeless people.
130
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:27,529
I once ate a parrot.
131
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,458
Oh, man.
My friend was so mad.
132
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:30,733
I didn't know!
133
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,431
Hey, Yung, Ghost,
what do you think?
134
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,400
You think this is a good deal?
135
00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:37,872
Uh, we're kind of
in the middle of something.
136
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:40,611
Hey, Miss Ensler,
I know you're still grieving,
137
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:42,867
but I want
your honest opinion, okay.
138
00:05:43,042 --> 00:05:44,882
Do you think I should have
a line of neckties?
139
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,511
-Michael!
-Richard loved ties.
140
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,778
They cut off his head!
141
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:51,353
(SOBBING)
142
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:55,353
Okay, let's do it!
143
00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,386
Mike Tyson is
in the tie business.
144
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:59,421
Dad, look.
We found his calendar.
145
00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:00,889
He had an appointment today
146
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,964
with a man
named Charles Scurb.
147
00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:06,726
Hey, Miss Ensler, have you
ever heard of a Charles Scurb?
148
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,574
He keeps all his patient
files locked in his office.
149
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:12,070
Um, do you happen
to have the keys?
150
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,912
No, he always has them.
151
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,467
They're probably
in his pocket.
152
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:16,576
(GASPS)
153
00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:19,040
Oh, dear God.
154
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,876
My fingers are
covered in hummus.
155
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,311
Pigeon, will you go get 'em?
156
00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:24,946
Yeah, I think I'm done
going back in there.
157
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:28,288
-Do not look at me.
-Mmm-mmm.
158
00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:32,391
Hey, Deezy, go in that room
and get Dr. Ensler's keys.
159
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:33,463
They're in his pocket.
160
00:06:33,926 --> 00:06:35,286
Sure, Mike.
161
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:37,899
What, is he asleep
or something?
162
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,574
Yes. Yes, he is.
He's asleep.
163
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:44,339
-DEEZY: Oh, my Lord!
-(MRS. ENSLER SOBBING))
164
00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:47,468
Why would people do this?
Who did this?
165
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,468
Hell, no!
166
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:52,409
-Hell, no!
-(CHUCKLES)
167
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,846
Oh, here it is. Charles Scurb.
168
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,289
Oh, my God!
169
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:04,458
It says he calls himself
Chainsaw Charlie.
170
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:07,427
So, still, no one
is calling the police.
171
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,798
I mean, there is
a savagely mutilated body
172
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,857
just sitting in that house
and no one has been notified.
173
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:15,395
"Patient has expressed
murderous tendencies
174
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:18,772
"and now threatening
to murder and decapitate
me and my wife.
175
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,942
"I have rejected a course
of electric shock therapy
176
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,782
"because my gut tells me
the patient is bluffing
177
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,378
"and is basically harmless."
178
00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:29,979
Dr. Ensler, shouldn't
have trusted your gut.
179
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:33,293
Especially now that it's
sitting in your desk drawer.
180
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:36,317
Are you just going through
his patients' files?
181
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,723
No, no.
Just the sex addicts.
182
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,288
Tiffany Daniels.
183
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:43,094
Calls herself,
(BLEEP) Sucking Daniels.
184
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:46,426
(LAUGHING)
I'm kidding.
It doesn't say that.
185
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:49,303
I just gave her that.
But it does have
her home address.
186
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,303
What do you say
we swing by after?
187
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:54,105
Ooh! That's pretty close
to Cost-Lo too.
188
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:55,807
We could pick up
some more hummus,
189
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,909
and, man, this time
we'll get the big tub.
190
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,411
Damn, that's good hummus.
191
00:07:59,413 --> 00:08:00,713
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
192
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,345
It's Deezy.
What's up, fool?
193
00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:08,651
What I gotta sign?
You sign it. I gave you
power of attorney.
194
00:08:09,755 --> 00:08:12,415
PIGEON: Hmm.
Maybe I'm a sex addict.
195
00:08:12,426 --> 00:08:13,986
You're definitely
a sex addict.
196
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:17,334
Hold up. Maybe Dr. Ensler
got a fax machine in here.
197
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:18,801
Hell, yeah.
He got one.
198
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:20,629
Damn, I don't know the number.
Hold up.
199
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:23,134
I'll call and ask Miss Ensler
and ask her
for the fax number.
200
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,366
Hold on.
201
00:08:25,705 --> 00:08:27,605
Hey, Miss Ensler,
it's Mike Tyson.
202
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:28,938
You feeling any better?
203
00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:32,442
Yeah, you just need
a little time, that's all.
204
00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:36,552
Hey, do you know the number
for the fax machine
in Dr. Ensler's office?
205
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:40,121
I'm going to
conference you in with Deezy
206
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,320
and you tell him
the fax number, okay?
207
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,392
Hold on.
208
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:45,063
Okay, Deezy, you there?
209
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,388
Miss Ensler, you're
on the phone with Deezy.
210
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:52,704
-Hey.
-Hello. The number for
the fax is 555-0198.
211
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:54,869
Okay, got it.
Let me send it to you.
212
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,368
Thanks again, Miss Ensler.
Have a nice day, ma'am.
213
00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:58,501
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-(GASPS)
214
00:08:58,505 --> 00:08:59,965
I think there's someone
in the house.
215
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,743
Oh, God!
He's come back.
216
00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:04,484
-Who's come back?
-Chainsaw Charlie?
217
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:07,084
Oh, my God!
He came back!
He's going to kill her!
218
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,980
Why didn't we call the Police?
219
00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:11,118
Two thousand men!
220
00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:13,947
-(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
-He's right outside.
221
00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:18,663
(FAX MACHINE RINGING
AND BEEPING)
222
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:19,759
Oh, whoops!
223
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:25,662
I'm gonna take Mrs. Ensler
home with me.
224
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:28,426
What?
Mike, did you get the fax?
225
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,765
-Yeah, now what do I do?
-You sign it and fax it back.
226
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,406
What is happening?
227
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:37,508
Chainsaw Charlie is taking
Miss Ensler to his house.
228
00:09:37,511 --> 00:09:39,741
-What?
-Do you have
his address in that file?
229
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,476
Yeah.
Yeah, it's right here.
230
00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:44,381
Shit! That's like one block
away from Cost-Lo.
231
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,084
Man, this is our lucky day.
232
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:50,486
Hold up. We gotta
wait for the confirmation.
233
00:09:58,464 --> 00:09:59,534
(FAX MACHINE BEEPS)
234
00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:03,837
Okay.
To the Mystery Mobile!
235
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:07,541
MARQUESS: So, we're stillnot calling the police?
236
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,413
It's not even
a mystery anymore.
237
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:12,479
He's the killer.
I mean, honestly...
238
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,109
(MRS. ENSLER SCREAMING)
239
00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:23,486
Hey! Put that down,
you dumb (BLEEP) lunatic!
240
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,489
(CHAINSAW WHIRRING)
241
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:30,725
(GROANING)
242
00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:35,469
What the hell was that?
243
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,069
It's the Mike Ty-Stun Gun.
244
00:10:37,503 --> 00:10:39,873
It's the only one ever made.
We couldn't get any investors.
245
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:42,409
Deezy, Deezy, Deezy...
246
00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:52,852
Do we have a blanket or
something for this poor woman?
247
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:55,750
Okay.
248
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:03,898
I'm a sex addict.
18508
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