All language subtitles for Le diable et les dix commandements

THE DEVIL...

THE DEVIL...
...AND THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

I put it in three boxes,
so it won't get squashed. Alright?

- And the price?
- The best, as usual!

- Even so, it's still too much.
- Take it up with your Boss upstairs.

He's the one who's stingy
with the vegetables this year.

The less there is,
the higher the price.

Add this to your bill.

Next week, I'd like some nice asparagus.

It's the easy life up in the convent!

- The bishop is coming to visit.
- It's the anniversary of our order's founding.

That'll do, sisters.

No cheap junk for the bishop, eh?

Don't move, Sister Marie.

- I'll open the bloody door for you.
- Chambard...

Just a minute, Sister.

What the...? God Almighty!

Monsieur Chambard, if you
blaspheme again like that,

I'll have to report it
to the Mother Superior.

What?

Don't play dumb. I'm sure you'd be
welcome at your daughter-in-law's house!

But Sister!

Don't be mad. It was just
because of that goddamn gate.

That was a real mess
down that bloody drain.

It's running now,
like crap through a goose.

Thank you, that's wonderful.

- Is there anything else?
- There's still the faucet over there.

Let's take a look at it, then,
since I'm here.

At home I'm a real Jack-of-all-trades.

That's what my bitch of
a daughter-in-law says.

I have to do everything for her.

Plumbing, cooking, carpentry...

When I think that I gave my son
to that slut.

They don't make men like me anymore.
My wife lost out when she died.

- What does your son do?
- He beats his wife behind doors.

My daughter-in-law is so dirty...

...he has to beat her to get her clean.

What are you on about, Monsieur Chambard?
Aren't you finished yet?

In a minute, Sister.

Jesus Christ Almighty!

Silence! Not another word out of you.

This is a religious community. We can
no longer tolerate your blasphemies.

What did I do?

It's the way you utter the Lord's name
at the slightest occasion.

It's a very serious offense
and will lead to eternal damnation.

Goddammit, I'm not
even dead yet, Mother!

Out, Monsieur Chambard.

Yes, Reverend Mother.
But I don't understand...

You can't deny that just now
you broke the 2nd Commandment?

You know what they say,
"Better to hear that than be deaf!"

Thou shalt not take
the Lord's name in vain.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

- Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain.
- I heard you.

- Well then, Monsieur Chambard.
- Well what?

When you're angry or happy,
impatient or in a bad mood...

You always say...

- You mean "God Almighty"?
- Exactly.

It's a sacrilege, and you'll
answer for it at the Last Judgment.

But Reverend Mother,
it's just a thing I say...

I don't even think about it;
it's just a habit.

You have to get rid of this habit.
Or else you'll have to leave.

But where can I go, at my age?

I like it here.

- Oh, God Almight...
- Monsieur Chambard!

You see? I'm not even aware of it!

WELCOME, BISHOP

I don't believe it!

The bishop is Hector Trousselier,
my childhood friend.

We went to school together.

Hector, Hector!

It's me, Chambard!

Why, it's Jerome!

How are you?

No, Reverend Mother.
Let him be.

- Jerome is an old friend.
- See?

I knew it was you at once,
even in this getup!

And how are you, Chambard?
As peppery as ever?

This way, Your Excellency.

Excuse me, I'm dining
with the sisters.

Can't I come too?

- Our rules don't allow...
- I know, but...

Just this once,
I'll straighten it out with God.

Come along.

Oh, I tell you...

We had some good times, eh?

If Madame Fourmant could see us now!
Do you remember? The teacher.

I can see her now.

May God forgive us for all the
wicked pranks we played on her!

- You remember the one with the stiff?
- No.

Oh yes!

Remember, we stuffed grass up
our noses to make them bleed.

In the end, your nose was red
as an eggplant.

Yes, now I remember.
That was rather stupid.

And when I was covered with blood
I went upstairs to call the teacher...

...you played the stiff and I
started shouting:

"He's dead! He's dead!"

Madame Fourmant
fainted dead away.

Oh, Almi--...

- The young are merciless.
- We really were a pair of little shits.

And Therese, do you remember?

- Oh yes...
- The laundrymaid with the long hair.

We'd go to her shop after school.

She must have been, what?
Twelve, thirteen?

- She liked you best.
- A beautiful memory.

Yes, Reverend Mother,
if you'd known him back then...

Oh, and...
Do you remember your father?

Of course, I remember my father.

Remember he always told you:
"You'll finish up on the scaffold!"

What good times we had!

Who would have thought,
back in 1913 when I knew you?

He was as thin
as a bean-pole, Reverend Mother.

What I remember
is the beatings we both got!

And we deserved them!

We lived in the same house,

and we were
an inseparable pair of rascals.

Ah yes, the beatings...
I got the worst of it.

- What about my uncle Clement's donkey?
- Yes, yes. I know.

We got it drunk,
and it bellowed like...

Like a donkey!

Then it ran into Madame Mangenet's shop
and smashed up everything!

Yes, exactly! I can still see it...

There was this basket of eggs...

Oh, God Almighty...

Well... As you say.

As I don't say, Chambard.

Ah, God Almighty!

Come now, Chambard.
This isn't the army!

You're right. I'm sorry.

I was just so happy to see you again,
goddamit, I just...

A lovely surprise, I know.

But you have to think about
the pure and devout ears that hear you.

The sacrilege hurts them.

I'm sorry to say Monsieur Chambard
will have to go.

Oh no, Reverend Mother!
Chambard doesn't mean any harm, right?

- You know me, Hector!
- Yes, of course.

That's why I instruct you to go to
Confession, ask God for forgiveness...

...and resolve from now on
to follow the Ten Commandments.

Does he know them?

I have an awful memory. At school
you always had to whisper to me.

Your memory is excellent,
as we just saw.

Reverend Mother,
do you have a catechism?

My dear Jerome.

To piously commemorate
this beautiful day...

...I urge you, as your friend
and also as a bishop...

...to learn the Ten Commandments by heart.

That is the penance I impose on you.

When you're ready,
you can come and recite them to me.

I don't have the latest one,
just this old one.

This is fine, Reverend Mother.

Here you go.

I'm happy, by meeting you again,
to be able to help save your soul.

Thank you, Bishop.

God Almighty...

Empty-headed fool!
Every time you open this book,

I'll loose the four winds
and you'll never learn the Commandments.

The Devil says so,
and he never breaks his word.

The Commandments are weapons against me.

But I have my own: lust,
sins of the flesh, women...

Who wouldn't commit a great sin,
if the price were right?

Here on earth,
Woman is my most faithful assistant.

All it takes is a bauble,
to capture her.

You see these diamonds?
I invented them.

The purest flash of the diamond
is made from the flames of Hell.

Look at her.
"Thou shalt not covet."

Easy to say when you're a pretty
little tart with a head full of ideas.

- No.
- It's a marvellous piece.

At Van Cleef and Arpels
every stone is perfection.

- It just doesn't interest me.
- What about this necklace?

If I may...

Thanks.

- You find it beautiful?
- Beautiful?

- I'm overwhelmed.
- Me too.

And not because of the jewelry.

I didn't know that Micheline
had such a gorgeous friend.

- I'm married, Monsieur Allan.
- Yes, to the famous George Beaufort.

Famous... What's that good for?

Marrying a pretty woman.

Philippe?

Come and look. I can't decide.
What do you think?

They're both tempting.

- It's an important question.
- This one has larger stones.

It's very feminine.

This one rather is more formal,
that one is more luxurious.

This one, then?

- Try it on, Madame.
- No, there's no point.

Allow me.

See?
It was made for you.

- How much?
- 300,000 francs.

- 300,000 francs?
- New francs of course.

That is... 30 million?

- A great opportunity!
- Ah, yes.

May I look?

It suits you perfectly.

- You like it?
- It doesn't matter if I do.

George's next play would
have to run more than 3,000 times.

He's never gone over 100. I have to be
happy with imaginary jewels.

But his plays are performed world-wide.

But in halls this big.
He's a niche specialist.

Are you tempted, dear?
Poor George will be ruined!

Just looking. I can dream, can't I?

- May I?
- Of course.

Allow me...

- Shall I write you a check?
- There's no hurry.

- A downpayment will be fine.
- A unique piece.

Princess Margaret was very
taken with it on her last trip.

But since her wedding...

- Will you take Francoise home?
- Of course.

That's nice of you. After all this,
I can't take another step.

- Are you happy with your necklace?
- It's not a necklace, it's a river!

- Watch you don't drown in it.
- I'll wear it on Friday.

Philippe's giving a party,
why don't you come?

- I'd be delighted to meet your husband.
- He hardly ever goes out...

- And he's working on his new play.
- If you come, he will too.

- Not in bed yet?
- Not yet.

I had a fantastic idea,
I had to write it down.

Where the general is in the park
and everyone turns into kangaroos...

The curtain comes down, rises again and
everything's gone. An empty stage, zero!

- And the kangaroos gallop...
- It's great, but won't it be expensive?

And in that tiny little theater...

...a director calling for
galloping kangaroos...

- Come to bed.
- When I get an idea, I have to work.

I sit here and watch while you sleep.

It inspires me.

Alright then...

We've been invited
to Philippe Allan's on Friday.

- Philippe who?
- Philippe Allan, Micheline's husband.

- There he is.
- Finally!

What's going on? The boss
sent me over here.

I asked for you. I need help
to keep an eye on all these jewels.

- What is it? An exhibition?
- Yes, a travelling one.

It's Monsieur Allan's
annual jewelry ball.

The finest jewels in Paris! Some even
come from London or New York.

With models who can't even speak French.

- Who is this Allan?
- A playboy.

I'll be back in a minute. There's
a garden door that's worrying me.

Theater doesn't interest me.
I never go.

It's all junk.

Look, you could never
put an event like this on stage.

Even if I could,
the thought would never occur to me.

A bunch of rocks?
I prefer Shakespeare.

A bunch of words?

I don't go to the theater,
but I do read. Excuse me.

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

Marie-Helene!
Those emeralds! Spring is here!

An old spring, all full of dead wood!

Another drink, my boy.

Good evening.

Come on, I'll show you a treasure.

My dear, may we? I'd like
my friend to see.

- Of course.
- How dazzling! Thank you very much.

Not at all.

You should have warned me!
I shouldn't have come, I don't fit in.

What's wrong?
It's not working out with Philippe?

Men are all the same.

Here one day, forget us the next.

You can't have everything.

This... isn't bad, after all.

And I have George.
He loves me, and I love him.

That's worth more than that diamond.

Would you trade?

With you?

What are you talking about?

We were talking about love.

Quite right. Love is nothing
but a topic of conversation.

Care to dance?

- Do you like it?
- It's a beautiful piece.

I like wood that's worked by
human hands and grows old with them.

It's a Cresson.
Signed.

Signed!

The gentleman is absolutely
covered with signatures.

You don't like Philippe?

I don't like well-heeled seducers.

How would you seduce?

I could show you. But I don't have
much chance against him.

This necklace is
a perfect expression of love.

- It's the end.
- What?

- The final farewell.
- No!

I'm tired of him.
I'm leaving Monsieur Allan.

You want to give up all this?
That's genuine heroism.

Only half.
The apartment is in my name.

And what will you do now?

First, go without a man for a while.
Let the skin heal over.

Then, I'll look around.

I probably haven't
the slightest chance?

- No. First of all, you're poor.
- Let's not exaggerate.

And you're a married man;
in love and adored.

Yes, of course. Does it bother you?

- Your party is a complete success.
- It could be.

- It depends on you.
- Me?

Would you be kind enough to
accompany me to my office?

Just for a minute.

But... You're crazy!

I saw how much you liked
this necklace the other day.

You were like a child
looking in a shop window at Christmas.

Rather like how you're looking now.

- But Monsieur Allan...
- My name is Philippe.

Philippe,
I can't possibly accept this.

Then don't accept it.
Return it.

But not this evening.
Not now.

Tomorrow.

Give me this pleasure.

And my husband? I can imagine
how he'd look if he saw this and I said:

"It's a present from Philippe."

A man doesn't give a woman
something this expensive...

...for no reason at all.

You know what you'll do?

Keep this necklace.
Take it home with you and keep it.

For one day. Secretly.

Tomorrow, you'll bring it back.

Tomorrow?

What time?

Let's say... Five o'clock?

I'll try, but I can't promise.

- I'm a faithful wife.
- One more reason.

- And Micheline is my best friend.
- Well then...

I really don't know what's keeping you.

- What are you doing?
- I'm thirsty. Go back to sleep.

- Is Monsieur Allan here?
- He's expecting you.

Follow me, please.

This way.

- I've brought you...
- Please, come in.

I could have kept it.

Why not?
If it makes you happy...

I'm bringing it back.

- No regrets?
- Yes.

Can I help you, Madame?

I'll take this one.

Excuse me, Miss.

- A necklace?
- Yes, please.

- Here's a very pretty one.
- I'll take two dozen.

- Would you like to select them?
- No, just give me an assortment.

Austerlitz railway station.
Baggage check.

What's wrong, darling?

The cow made me wait 45 minutes,
then sent me to the secretary.

"The director asks if you would
mind waiting a little." A little...

And she runs a theater... Cow!

She doesn't know what theater is.
She'd make Racine wait!

- What's this?
- What?

A baggage claim check.
I found it in the taxi.

- You think it's still good?
- These are always good.

I should have given it to the driver.

The fool who lost it
should have been more careful.

Must have been a woman.

A lady theater director!
Should such a thing exist?

I'll go pick up the whatsit.

- Is it honest?
- Who are the honest people?

Billionaires, who don't like the theater,
directors, with a knack for raising money.

If it's gold bars,
we're keeping them.

What if it's a trunk with
a dismembered woman in it?

The age of tragedy is past.
All they want today is musical comedy.

Micheline, are you leaving?

I had an appointment with Francoise,
but she's not home.

Don't go, she must be there.

If the radio's on,
she doesn't hear the bell.

And it's the maid's day off.

Let me take your coat.

Do you think she'll answer?

- It would surprise me.
- Me too.

She's taking her mother
to the Montparnasse train station.

So why did you ask me in?

I have the impression you're bored.

You need someone
to pay attention to you.

Pay attention to me?
In the conjugal home?

What if Francoise comes home?

The train leaves at 7:40.
We have lots of time.

I'll be honest too;
I didn't have an appointment.

And I knew that she wasn't home.

How did you know?

Don't you find she's been going out
more often recently?

No more than usual.
Why?

Oh, no reason.

Then you came...
to see me?

Yes.

I wanted to see the playwright
for myself, up close.

Well, take a look.
I hope you're short-sighted.

I can see what counts well enough.
Turn around.

- Not very tall.
- Thanks.

- Not very handsome.
- Thanks.

- Not very young.
- Thanks.

Your hands...

- Your fingers are too short.
- I think so too.

Your eyes...

- They're your best feature.
- And my genius.

And me?

- How do you find me?
- You're the ideal woman.

Kind-hearted, perceptive,
selfless, loving, maternal.

Thanks.

And an incomparable display.
Unfortunately, I have nothing to put there.

Except my short fingers.

But wait...
I do have something.

Yes, I do. Wait...
I'll decorate you!

I'll ornament you, cover you,
wrap you...

...sink you, drown you in jewels!

What is this?

The genius's treasure!

The fabulous fortune of the imagination.

I'll make you the queen of Sheba...

...Cleopatra, the Madwoman
of Chaillot!

And there's more!

This is it?

What was inside? No, don't tell me.

Nothing much.
But I think you'll like it.

- You saw never so much.
- What?

How pretty!

Look how many!

This must be a salesman's
sample case.

What is it?

Darling, are you home?
I waited for you.

Sorry, I was in the bathroom.
Why are you looking at me like that?

Aren't you going to say hello?

If I were vain,
I'd call this idea diabolical.

Of course, I thought of everything...

Adultery, covetousness
and two women instead of only one.

It was easy.
But I can do even more...

A well planned murder for example.

And in a place I'm not welcome.
That's more challenging, right?

So follow me into forbidden realms.

Of course, I need
bait here too.

How about this one?

I'm brewing up a tragedy...

Yes, Inspector.

Have they found the body?

They dragged the canal.

Yes, of course. Dead.

They're sure it's her?

Catherine Mayeux.

Yes... I understand.

Thank you, Inspector.

Yes... Thanks.

You must be brave.

I was living here tranquilly.

At the same time
sin was destroying her.

Maybe at the last moment
she changed her mind.

Maybe she didn't do it.

She's dead.

Despair...

Suicide...

Sins that God doesn't forgive.

Do you think you can know what
God forgives and doesn't forgive?

I don't know, Father.

I am afraid.

Do you believe that she is damned?

I ask permission
to leave the seminary.

Where will you go? Your sister
now needs only your prayers.

I was all she had,
and I left her alone.

A man led her
into prostitution and drugs.

He sank her in sin
all the way to death, to hell.

This man must die.
I must see to it.

Have you lost your mind?

Let God and man do justice.

Give the notebook to the police.

It has enough evidence
to put him behind bars.

That is as much as your duty requires.

But he'll get out and start again.

She wasn't the first;
and won't be the last.

Let me go
and do what I must.

A spirit of vengeance drives you.

And pride, seeing yourself as
a dispenser of justice.

Go to your room.
Humble yourself in prayer.

You don't know this man, Father.

But I do.

He was our neighbor
when we were children.

He used to come back
to show off his new cars...

...and impress the street urchins.

That's where she must have met him.
I should have been there to warn her.

All he can do is create evil.

He's like a machine of evil.

Like a tree that
bears poisoned fruit.

I don't judge him, Father.

But I must fell the tree,
destroy the machine.

You are the most gentle
and peaceful man I've ever met.

You couldn't hurt any living creature.
You couldn't bring yourself to do it.

Father...

If you don't give me permission to go,
I'll be forced to leave without it.

I do not authorize you to leave.

If you go so far as to disobey,
it'll end in bitterness and humiliation.

And you will never be a priest.

This man must die.
And I must see to it.

If your poor father had known
how Catherine would end up...

...he'd have strangled
her himself, and maybe for the best.

Maybe.

I warned her, though;
I said Garigny is a bum.

Don't repeat that, eh?

He eats here every Saturday.

He's a bum, but still.
I told her so!

But when a girl wants to open her legs,
she closes her ears.

- Monsieur Alexandre!
- The priests didn't tell you that, eh?

It's true, though.
They call it love, the heart.

It's nothing but their... ass.

Women are crazy.
Men too.

Below the belt
there's no intelligence...

Good day, Inspector.

- Good day.
- Have a drink?

- Hello, Denis.
- Hello, Louis.

- I heard you were back. What's up?
- As you see.

Get the Inspector a drink.

- You're going hunting?
- On Sunday. Partridges.

A beer.

You know...

- I was very fond of Catherine.
- I know.

I thought she'd be safe with you here.

She left a long time ago.

- I didn't know.
- Yes.

If you know something
you must tell the police.

- What if she wrote me before her death?
- Did she?

If she told me about Garigny,
prostitution, the drugs, girl-trade.

- Addresses, proof...
- You have to turn it over right away.

I didn't say that I had anything.

But if I did and handed it over,
what would he get?

If there's proof...
Maybe five or ten years.

- If!
- You think that's what he deserves?

The pig deserves to hang.
But he's careful.

He lets others do the dirty work.
We can never pin it on him.

- Where does he live?
- You're not planning something stupid?

- Where does he live?
- A villa in Juan-les-Pins.

A chateau in Deauville.
But usually in the hotel "George V".

Look out the back.

Following people in the street?
Where's your cassock?

- I have to talk to you.
- About what?

- Catherine.
- Oh, shit!

Garigny, I know she killed
herself because of you.

Smart boy.
You know things.

Do I look like a man
women kill themselves for?

Not for you, but because of you.
She wrote me.

- What did she write?
- That she wasn't the first.

And there mustn't be any more.
That's why I'm here.

To stop you selling drugs.
Killing people who get in your way.

Prostituting young girls.

It's worked so well,
you never thought you'd have to stop.

Why should I?

Because Catherine
is dead - that's all.

Catherine was a little girl.

You call that "a little girl"?
What do you call the street?

Kindergarten?

You're a nice guy,
but I have things to do.

Ciao.

By the way, Berenice in the 2nd,
it's ten to one.

Yes?

Seven people for tomorrow night.
Yes sir, what's the name?

Yes, sir.

Table for seven, tomorrow night.
For Garigny.

Tomorrow night, Albert will cover
for you. You go to the movies.

It's not necessary, Monsieur Alexandre.
Don't worry.

I wanted to ask...

Could you lend me your gun on Sunday?
I'm going hunting with some friends.

What's this all about?
You can't even hurt a flea.

Is that why you came back?

You think I'm a complete idiot,
I'd help you with this?

What's this?
A parish bulletin?

Why do you say that?

Just a joke, right Denis?

You shouldn't joke about religion.
I'm a believer.

We all are.
We just all believe different things.

Is it a hymn?

The little girls who go to mass

Put cushions under their knees

They'd do better
to put them under their ass...

- Where'd you get this?
- It's a page from Catherine's notebook.

There are others. A list
of your suppliers and customers.

All your drug deals,
your crimes - all the proof.

- Hand it over.
- It's not on me.

- Hand it over!
- You can cut me to bits, I don't have it.

- Where is it?
- Come to my place tomorrow.

On the other side of the street,
Number 18.

First floor, second door on the left.

I'll be alone. Come unarmed.

A weapon? Are you joking?

- Alright, I'll come.
- I knew you would.

- What time?
- Three o'clock.

- Alright.
- I won't be there until 3:00.

At 3:05 I'll be gone.

But it's agreed: no weapons.

- Are you that scared?
- Yes.

Let's set our watches.

3:05 exactly.

Here's the key to my room.

Be quiet when you open the door.

I'll hand him over to you
with all the proof.

Be careful. He's more dangerous
than a basket of rattlesnakes.

I know.

Come on in, the door's open.

Come in, I'm alone.

- Well?
- Wait.

Reassured now?

I could hear your teeth
chattering as I came up the stairs.

Well, I'm listening.

The notebook isn't here.
I've hidden it. Only I know where.

I said I'm listening.

How much?

How much do you want?

Let's cut the crap
and talk seriously like men.

If it isn't money you want
then what is it?

To look at you.
You're a coward and a bastard.

And you're the first priest
I've ever punched in the face.

I thought we agreed: no weapons.

They trained you well, those priests.

Don't move.

You'll never hurt anyone else, Garigny.
Never again.

And what are you going to do?

Get the notebook
and take it to the police.

No, you won't.
I have ten million in the bank.

Nice. Rolling in dough.
You can have it if you're smart.

There are seven names in the notebook.

All dead because of you.

No, you didn't kill them yourself.

If you want to stop me from leaving,
for once you have to show some courage.

I'm going, Garigny.

I'm going to the police station.

Decide.

Stop.

I told you, there is only one way
to stop me from going.

Just one.
You know what it is.

Denis... listen to me.

You can't do something this stupid.

What's the point?

Look, I'm sorry about your sister.
There!

Happy? How did I know she'd do
something so stupid?

But I didn't force her
to take the stuff!

I didn't make money off her,
I swear.

What do you blame me for?
Just some stupid stuff!

Have some guts.

- Goodbye, Garigny.
- Denis!

Don't worry, I forgive you.
Ego te absolvo a peccatos tui.

- I thought he was a priest.
- Tell me about it.

If he's dead, you're done for.

What have you done?

This time it'll stick.

- You've got him.
- Yes, Denis.

You have to pray for him.

And for me.

The dispenser of justice
fell into my trap.

His sacrifice is a suicide.

As for the gangster,
he's prepared him for me.

Didn't he force him to kill?

But I...

What's happening?
Why am I so cold?

This shouldn't be!

I'm on my own turf, among those
who think they believe in nothing.

And create other gods for themselves.

They're mine and don't know it.

Who's this?

What? Oh, it can't be!

What's he here for?

Oh, good God...

A swallow...

The first...

Clear off!
Or I'll set the dogs on you!

Clear off!

My grandpa - he can't walk anymore.

And my grandma is sick
and stays in bed.

There's my daddy and mommy,
but they're with the sheep.

- Marie!
- Yes.

Marie? That's a pretty name.

It's the name of someone
I loved a great deal.

And you? Who are you?

Me? I am God.

Marie!

You want to let me die,
you little bitch?

Grandma...
God is here!

What? Give me my syrup.

He's here. He spoke to me.

He looks like Father Gilbert's donkey.

A donkey carried Mary,
then our Son.

I like looking like
Father Gilbert's donkey.

August, August!
A hobo is here.

Get out of here,
or my husband will shoot you.

After the cross, the gun.
Always the same reaction.

But it's so easy to believe
when I tell you who I am.

God?

Like I told you!

Come closer.

- Bugger, I missed!
- Careful, ma'am.

- Careful yourself, you damned...
- Grandma!

God.

Stay away from him.

At your age
everything seems possible.

Until life catches you.

You wait, it'll catch you quickly,
and you'll know it too.

I might die before nightfall.

I've never known
one moment of happiness.

Not even a Sunday.
Not one.

The cows, the men, the pig,
they're hungry on Sunday.

They get dirty on Sundays.

Shovelling ashes on Sundays.
Aren't you ashamed?

What have you come here for?

I came down to earth, to try
to show mankind the right path.

And this is how you receive me:
with dogs, guns and sticks.

You think I should thank you?

What did you do
with my three boys?

The first died in prison.

The second was crushed to death.

The third married a slut,
who won't even give me a bite to eat.

And it's the same everywhere.

We don't get the newspaper,
but we have the radio.

We know what's going on.

Everywhere burning,
screaming, bleeding. Everywhere!

You're not who you say you are.

There is no God. If there was,
he wouldn't dare to show himself.

So you reproach me.

You're brave, but you don't understand.

You don't have to understand
poverty to feel it.

Your son kills a thousand ants when
he drives his tractor over their hill.

But the tractor must pass by,
so man can eat.

Of course!

But the mother of the ants
reproaches me.

And the pike
swallows twelve little fish.

And the mother of the fish
reproaches me.

And in one afternoon the gazelle eats
one million blades of grass.

And the mother of the blades of grass
reproaches me.

And Marie...

The other Marie...

She said nothing.

But she bled.

- She would have been better off to...
- Grandma!

Why don't you change all this?

All you have to do is say:
"So be it", and everyone would be happy.

Maybe you enjoy all this.

- Or maybe you're just not very bright.
- I can't tell you.

Could you explain to the ant,
why there is a tractor?

How it works and what it's for?

We're not ants.

You're nothing at all on Earth.

And the Earth
is nothing at all in the universe.

And the universe is like fly-speck
on my pinky...

What can you understand, creature?

And yet I love you.

Me?

Man.

I gave him the great secret.

The one that will fix everything.

He doesn't want to use it.
Absolutely not.

He does just the opposite.

That's why I've come.
To fix everything. I know everything.

If you know everything,
then do a miracle.

You talk and talk.
Talking is easy.

"I'm God... humans are wrong."
That's easy to say.

Do a little miracle to show me.

Race of unbelievers!

Yes, I'll do a miracle.
But not for you.

For Marie. So she can see
and testify to it.

- I'll make you young again.
- No!

My God, if it really is you, no.

I beg you, have mercy.

One life is enough.

Poor small, old creature.

You cooked their soup.

You washed their laundry.

You bore their children.

You are so tired.

You'll soon have your reward.

I would so much like to believe you.

So much.

What about the miracle?
Are you going to do it?

Grandpa! Make Grandpa walk again.

Get up and walk.

No, thank you. I'm fine the way I am.

When I could walk, I had to work like a slave.
At my age!

Now, I can at least rest.

There's no proper age to help
those we love.

Get up and walk.

Never!

For the third time, man:
Get up and walk!

But I can't. My poor legs.

They're all the same.

They reject the good I give them,
and lament.

You will walk.

Who is this?

It's God!

Oh, my God!

It's true!

It's the end for me.

My God, forgive me.

Give me a little place
in your paradise.

You're almost there.
Do you hear the music?

Yes.

Do you hear that sound?
Like pigeons taking flight?

Yes.

Those are the angels,
getting ready to receive you.

The gates of Paradise
are all in white.

Go in.

Come on...

Go in!

Yes.

Now, you will never be tired again.

In the name of Me, and of My Son
and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Visit us again.

In my old field
nothing grows anymore.

Maybe you could do something?

I'll come again
and do what needs to be done.

Thanks in advance.
You're very kind.

Goodbye to you all.

- Thanks.
- Goodbye.

- Many thanks.
- Thanks.

Father brought that back from Africa.

He served in the Foreign Legion.

But don't worry; I'll chop it up
and burn it.

If you want. It doesn't bother me.

Black god,
yellow god, white god.

It's always me.

But after all... You never know.

We must tell the priest.

It'll be on the radio,
in the paper. It's worth money.

A swallow...

The second...

Hey, God, would you like a lift?

Why, thank you, my children!

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC

Oh, that explains it!
An escaped lunatic!

That would have been a surprise:
a sensible, good-natured God!

I tell the other one, if You were
as good as this, I wouldn't exist.

But here I am, malignant
and powerful as the sea.

He left me the best part: good wars,
good hate, stupidity and lies.

The lies, that crash against each other.

In towns, lies are the most
natural thing in the world.

It's their daily bread.

Take him.
His life is based on a lie.

He was told, "Honor thy father and thy mother."

And he was caught like a
doe in a snare.

- Hello, Monsieur Mercier.
- Hello.

- What is it?
- The usual: sparks are flying!

- And dad?
- He waits for the storm to pass.

It goes on all night.

- You're back for dinner?
- Yes.

Class was cancelled;
the prof was sick.

Very inappropriate.

Sit down, since you're here.

- This is all that's left.
- Aren't you eating?

- No, I'm not hungry.
- What about dad?

- He spoiled my appetite.
- Where is he?

How do I know?

Never marry. Be like me.

- Maria!
- Don't wear yourself out.

Maria's quit. Gone.

- What did you say to Maria?
- Of course, it's all my fault!

Don't worry, you won't
have me around much longer.

You think I'm too old
to do anything else.

- Cooking for two fools.
- Thanks.

Not you, I mean your father
and this stupid old boarder.

If only your father
were good for something.

You'll see how you manage when I'm gone!

What a stick in the mud!

There's still time for me to have
a decent life.

You know you'll never leave.
Why do you keep saying this nonsense?

You're as selfish as your father.
You have your bed and food...

...clean clothes, your car, friends...
And who pays for it all?

Who pays for your classes?
Your pocket money?

- Who's the maid of all work? Who?
- Shit.

Shit, shit, and more shit!

Shit! I've had enough!

If it kills you to pay,
for my upkeep, just say so.

I've got five years to go for my thesis.
I can't live like this - I'm off!

Am I going to be blamed
for every mouthful I take?

- She doesn't mean it.
- Why does she say it then?

You're both impossible.

You never say a word;
she never shuts up.

Why would I want to come home?

And you - yell back at her sometimes!

- If she weren't my mother...
- She's not your mother.

- What?
- She's not your mother.

You're joking, right?

Your mother was 16. I was 20.

Did she die?

She left.

She didn't love you?

What about me?

Didn't she want me?

I said your mother was unknown.

When I married Germaine,
she acknowledged you.

- Why didn't you tell me?
- She didn't want you to know.

You don't talk much,
but once you do...

- What happened to my mother?
- You know her.

- I know her?
- You've seen her on TV.

She played "Celimene".

Clarisse Ardant?

She used to be Solange Bouchon.

COMING SOON: CLARISSE ARDANT

In "The Taming of the Shrew"

For I am he was born to tame you, Kate.

And bring you from a wild Kate

to a Kate conformable
as other household Kates.

Here comes your father:
never make denial.

Now, Signor Petruchio,
how speed you with my daughter?

How but well, sir?
How but well?

It were impossible I should speed amiss.

Why, how now, daughter Katharina!
In your dumps?

Call you me daughter? Now, I promise you.
You have show'd a tender fatherly regard,

to wish me wed to one half lunatic;
A half-wit jabberer, a...

"...a mad-cap ruffian
and a swearing Jack."

I know my lines. I won First Prize
for this scene.

- Yes, when you were 20.
- What does the gasper say?

I've had enough. It's six.
We'll pick it up tomorrow. Bye.

Tomorrow at two, kids.

- Mademoiselle Clarisse Ardant?
- Obviously.

- I'd like to speak with you.
- What about?

About you and me.

You and me? Really!

Excuse me.

- Well?
- Isn't there some quieter place?

This way.
Just five minutes, though.

Come on.

They've brought back the dress.

- Was it altered?
- Yes, you should try it on.

I will. You can leave now.

- Do you want to try on the dress?
- I can do it by myself.

- See you tomorrow, Isabelle.
- There's some mail for you.

May I?
Make yourself comfortable.

Well, now.

Tell me what you have to say.
It's not hard to guess.

I believe I know.
But I'd prefer not to.

Since you know I know,
really, why say it?

Why say it right away?

Be patient. Once you've said it,
there'll be nothing more to say.

So why talk?

Be a dear. It's a zipper,
you just have to pull on it.

Charming. You're charming.

Of course, people have told you that.

Which play did you see me in?

Of course.
I've been in so many.

- How old are you?
- 20 and a half.

Wonderful!

Would you help me?

And don't blush.

You're an absolute cherub.

Whoever is this young man
with these lovely hypocritical eyes?

Now, lovely blue bird,
sing your lovesong to Madame.

Look at that guilty blush!

How about a little peck on the cheek?

You're my mother.

What?

I am Pierre Messager. Your son.

Darling! Why didn't you
say something before, silly?

I tried, but you wouldn't let me
get a word in.

You only had to say "Mom"
and it would have been clear.

To meet you and have nothing to say!
How dreadful!

Come and hug your mom,
who hasn't seen you in ages.

You took me by surprise.
I still thought you were little.

I was, but it didn't last.

- How old are you?
- Twenty and a half.

- Twenty!
- And a half.

You don't have to keep saying it!

Apart from that,
what brings you here?

What are you doing, how are you?
What are your plans?

I want to know everything.

You'll always be my baby.
You don't know what motherhood is like.

The dress looks good on me.

A few small things
still have to be altered.

Why didn't you come earlier?

I always thought my father's wife
was my mother.

- Who made you think that?
- That's what he always said.

- Who?
- Dad.

Oh, him...

I'd be curious to see him again.
You'll have to bring him.

- He doesn't know I'm here.
- But he knows that you know I'm your mother!

- He told me.
- How did you feel about that?

Funny. It was a shock.

- A nice one.
- Like a blow to the head.

- And the heart, I hope?
- That too.

- You're not disappointed?
- No, of course not.

I have to get used to it.

- How did you imagine me?
- I'd already seen you on TV.

And you're not surprised
that such a young woman...

No. Actresses
never look their age.

- How old do you think I am?
- The same age as my mother.

Sixteen. I was 16
when I became a mother.

And your father was a child too.
Dear Gaston!

Not Gaston. Marcel.

Are you sure?

I mix up everything,
I'm so agitated.

Oh please...

All five of us absolutely must
get together for dinner.

You didn't answer me.
What do you do?

- I'm studying medicine.
- Good for you!

In Caen.

- In Caen, in Normandy.
- Caen?

Why on earth in Caen?

There's a very good school there.

That was your father's idea.
He wanted to go there, so stupid!

- He lives nearby.
- Poor guy.

You're as beautiful as an angel.

You obviously take after me!

Turn around, you little monster.

- But I look upon you with respect.
- Don't talk nonsense.

I know what you think of me.

It's perfectly natural.

I'm not like other mothers.

I had you too young: 16!

Just a girl. At that age,
you don't know what you're doing.

And your stepmother?
Is she nice to you?

Nice? It's not a word that suits her.

Well, you can only have one mother.

One can have a son, ten daughters,
but only one mother.

Are you happy, at least?

Don't ask.

If it weren't for my father,
I'd have left.

Seriously? You only stay because of him?

I'm all he has.

Darling!

Darling, he doesn't deserve you.

Don't bother about him, do what
you want. You're completely free.

This Marcel, your father...

He's not your father.

Are you happy?

- What are you saying?
- The truth, as always.

I was young and stupid.

You know, you go from man
to man, looking for yourself...

And the men are there.
They take advantage of it.

So I lied about the dates.

Why are you looking like that?
What's wrong?

What's wrong?
Orphaned twice in 48 hours...

Don't complain. You've found your real
mother. Many can't say as much.

Who, then?

- Who is my father?
- After all this time, who knows?

No more questions!
God only knows what's happened to him.

Let's not talk about it anymore.

Now let's go; we'll have
a cozy dinner together.

Wait a minute. No, tonight's impossible.

You came at a bad time.

Let's see...

No. Tomorrow costume fitting.
Appointment with the dressmaker.

Friday dress rehearsal.

Saturday... Sunday... Dreadful.

Write to me.
I'll leave you my address.

No, no. You write to me.

You will, won't you, dear?

- Madame, "dear" is too much for me to say.
- You naughty thing!

The first time, say it with
your eyes closed.

After that, it'll come
much more naturally.

What are you doing?
Oh, sorry.

- I should have had myself announced.
- Oh, you're not in the way.

- Really?
- Silly!

Well, tell him!
Tell him who you are.

It's useless.
He wouldn't believe it.

Darling!

Darling!

You can't carry on like that!

Mothers!

You mommies! Still attached by the
umbilical cord!

I'm sure he's had an accident.

He's never gone 24 hours without calling.
He's never slept away from home!

At his age, I...

- What did he say when he left?
- He didn't even kiss me.

- You didn't tell him anything, did you?
- About what?

About... you know.

Of course not.

He went up to your room. When he came
down he left without a word.

When he comes back, he'll hear a thing
or two. I'll give him a piece of my mind.

Why do you want him to come home,
the dear flesh of your flesh?

He knows what to expect.

- Should I call the police?
- I already did.

A hour ago.

- Where are you going?
- To look for him.

Are you crazy?
In the middle of the night?

Where were you? What did you do?
Do you want to kill me?

Don't I have enough to do
without worrying about you as well?

Where were you? Couldn't you
have called? We were worried!

Mom.

What?

I'm hungry.

I cooked your favorite for you, and
now it's all burned and cold.

This is no life for a cook.

Dad.

Aren't you going to eat something?

- You know how she is.
- Yes, you too.

What do you mean, me too?

Sit down.

Sit down.

You could at least tell us
where you were.

I was with a woman.

- With a woman? At your age!
- Come on, Mom!

What woman?

A woman of no importance.

They eat and they eat.

And believe that everything works out.

But I'll see you again,
with your pretty little face.

Because your generation
is very promising.

I love the New Wave,

all these fellows, who think
life is a trip.

And it's better to go first class.

Eyeing their neighbor's money.

Their neighbor's money:
I invented that too.

I put it in reach.
But thou shalt not steal.

Thou shalt not steal!

Think carefully before you
answer, Mr. Marin.

It can be consequential,
or even worse: important.

You were two hours late this morning.

Why?

- I didn't sleep last night.
- Neither did I.

But I'm 55. It's my stomach.

I'm 28. It's Janine.

This isn't a joke, Mr. Marin.

This bank is no funhouse.

- It's serious business.
- So's Janine.

- What?
- I said Janine is serious business.

Lively, exuberant, blonde...

I don't know what you
think of blondes,

but I personally
have a weakness for them.

My mother was an albino.
I believe it's Freudian.

- What do you think?
- About blondes?

No, Freud.

I'm going to ask you a question.

- Are you making a fool of me?
- Now that would be awkward!

And worse: inopportune. Right?

Mr. Marin, it's always a pleasure
to chat with you.

A pleasure which from now on
I will have to forego.

You will carry out your duties
until the end of the week.

After that, the bank will have to
dispense with your services.

The week will be over in 6 hours.

I should have listened to Janine
and stayed in bed.

It would have spared us this
distressing interview.

Out. Do you, hear, Mr. Marin? Out.

Get out!

Go back to your wicket!
I don't want to hear from you again!

Never again!

- Can I help you?
- Hand over the money.

- Really!
- Look what I have here.

What do you say to that?

Beautiful weapon.
What caliber?

Eleven mm.
Made in Yugoslavia.

- It'll drop an elephant at 20 yards.
- Not very useful in Yugoslavia.

It can also drop a Paris bank teller.

- Which will happen if you scream.
- Why should I scream?

- How much would you like?
- Everything!

Stupid question. Sorry!

Fast!

- This is no joke, you know!
- Oh, I know.

- Something funny about me?
- Don't be so sensitive.

It'll ruin your life.

Wait.

Some change for the Metro.

- If you scream before I get away...
- Oh, don't start that again.

Off you go, then.
Spend it wisely.

Buy French!

Help! Help! I've been robbed!

I'm not asking you what he said,
but what he looked like.

A really tall guy...

...with red eyes and a green beard.

- There's no such thing.
- What?

No, I meant to say,
with green eyes and red beard.

A redhead with green eyes.

He rolled his "r"s
like they do in the south.

Aha! A Corsican!

- What do you have against Corsicans?
- Nothing. But I don't trust them.

What did he carry the money in?

A sort of briefcase.

With a label: "Aerolineas Argentinas".

Concealing foreign assets,
tax fraud... This could be big.

I begin to see.

He begins to see. What, I wonder?

He's an absolute moron.
Whereas I am intelligent.

Yes, darling.

I'm sure I've seen him somewhere before.

- The Inspector?
- No, the robber, the elephant-hunter.

I saw him very recently.
But where?

- At the bowling alley maybe?
- No.

- At the Club Saint-Hilaire.
- No.

- Let's see...
- Just eat, Janine, I can't think.

You should have gotten the fish.
It's good for the brain.

Eat! You're getting thin.

I can see your ribs.
I counted them last night: 24.

- You should be ashamed.
- That's not what my boss thinks.

Monsieur Hyacinthe thinks
I'm a Greek goddess.

That proves he has a good education,
but bad eyesight.

- Where did I see the other guy?
- What do you take me for?

I'm not talking about your Monsieur
Hyacinthe, but about the bank robber.

It wasn't at the movies,
not in the bus...

- Not on the street, not at school...
- Stop it! You're getting on my nerves!

I know where I saw him.

At Fernand's wedding.
He yelled at me because I laughed.

His name's Antoine Vaillant.
Why do you ask?

At my cousin's wedding
I forgot to tip him.

I'm afraid I can't wait,
but if you could tell me his address...

The new one or the old one?
The old one was Fresnes Prison, cell 3.

- It's too bad he got out.
- Do they hire sextons out of prison?

Not usually. They do nothing
and look decorative.

But Father's too soft,
too socially-minded, as they say.

He calls it "reintegration".

You'll see, one day Antoine will
take off with all the silver...

...and the bones
of St. Rigobert to boot!

Where does he live?

I would like to help him out
financially.

He lives in an apartment
the priest's sister used to have.

An apartment full of sacred treasures.
Stolen treasures, if you ask me!

- Rue Sauvignon 6, third house on the left.
- Does he have a telephone?

He's listed in the phone book under
the name of Father's sister.

- And that would be?
- The same name as Father.

What is his name?

Moreland.

I didn't do it!

Hello? Antoine Vaillant?

No... yes. Who's this?

The fakir, the fortune-teller,
the prince of all clairvoyants!

If you're trying to
sell me a horoscope...

I'm sure the gentleman prefers puzzles.
Here's one:

Who talked about elephants
on Friday at 10:15...

...in an establishment
with many branch offices?

I don't know.

Neither do the police,
but that could change.

You sound like a gentleman, but
you haven't introduced yourself.

Are you a blackmailer?

Occasionally,
but not full-time.

- That's a pity; you're really very good!
- You're too kind, sir!

But you could be even more so.

In 15 minutes be in the courtyard
of the Louvre.

I warn you, I won't wait.

Hello?

Hello, Balzac 17-40?

Miss Janine Millot, please.

It's her cousin,
on leave from the military.

Hi, baby.

Hurry up and meet me
in 15 minutes at Mistrigris!

No, Mr. Hyacinthe,
I'm not coming back.

Be a dear
and send me my last paycheck.

I'm afraid I won't have time.

- He wants me to pick it up at the office.
- No, no, there's no time.

No more drudgery,
we're living the high life!

Quiet!

I'd rather just say goodbye.
It'll be less painful.

Give it to me!

Hello, Monsieur Hyacinthe. The era
of fatherly tenderness is over.

From now on, you must look after your libido
on your own. Yes, that is Latin.

Go pack your bags.
Meet me at the Gare de Lyon, 10.30.

- Will we have a sleeping car?
- Whatever you want!

That's what money's for!
You come, pay, get and they say thanks.

Oh, it's bad!

Don't worry, soon you'll be drinking espresso.

Go on!

- Two whites, how much?
- 1 franc 30.

Finally!
I've been waiting for you for half an hour.

- What is it?
- Just a formality.

- We're making progress.
- Can I just put this...

No, no, we'll be back in half an hour.
Sorry to rush you...

But it's the first time an investigation
of mine has made progress.

- It almost worries me.
- You could be on the wrong track.

If we have a culprit, we must question
him, get a confession and record it.

And I wanted to take a vacation.
It's trout season.

No chance. The investigation's
progressing so I'll have to postpone it.

Here, give me that.

- There!
- Thanks.

We picked up a few guys,
habitual criminals.

Look them over,
and tell us if you spot anyone.

Is it him?

No.

- You don't recognize anyone?
- Nobody.

You're sure? You're not just
saying that to make me happy?

I'm sure.

I need you to sign something.
So long boys, until next time!

Sign at the bottom.

Thanks.

You're letting them go?

We can't lock up innocent men.

- No kidding!
- Oh, it happens, I know.

But we have to make reports.

And there are journalists,
poking their noses everywhere.

During the Occupation
we could deal with them.

Today, they can do whatever they want.
Let me tell you something:

When we allow institutions
to deteriorate, chaos results!

Taxi!

Faster, straight ahead!

What's going on here?

- Nothing, Officer.
- Nothing.

What's in this suitcase?

- Dirty laundry and a toothbrush.
- Why are you lying, Antoine?

It's the result of a terrible robbery.

At the bank. You must have
read it in the papers.

You might have time for jokes,
but I don't.

Beat it! And no more trouble!

Give back my money
and I'll forget everything.

Your money? What do you mean?

- It's mine, I stole it!
- Me too.

Come on!

We're both reasonable people.
Let's share.

You're taking advantage
of this situation...

- 50/50, OK?
- Alright.

- You won't change your mind?
- Word of honor.

- It can't be!
- You hoodlum!

- Miserable hoodlum!
- What?

You switched suitcases!

You won't get away with this,
you bastard!

You turned up just at the right time.

Someone stole my sausage,
my red wine and my applesauce!

It seems they've generously
compensated you for it!

Pretty expensive applesauce!

I stopped for a lunch break,
and what do I find?

You find a fortune. Poor fellow.

Get up.

I was just going to have my lunch.

- A sausage, red wine and applesauce.
- We know, my boy.

- You come along with us to headquarters.
- What for?

To report that your sausage
and red wine are missing.

- And my applesauce too, right?
- Of course!

I wouldn't want to be in his shoes!

Moral: ill-gotten gains never benefit
the one who didn't steal it.

I hope you recognized me. I'm the one
who made sure the two cases matched.

A little joke.
The weeks drag on in eternity.

Fortunately, there are the Sundays.

The good Sundays, where you close shop
and respect the Man Upstairs.

It's my favorite day.

Delphine!

- Delphine!
- Yes, yes!

Every Sunday it's the same thing.

Work my fingers to the bone.

His lordship wants this, his
lordship wants that.

- Delphine!
- I'm coming!

These bachelors!

Delphine, some plum brandy.

Your lordship has already had 3 glasses
of Meursault and 2 of Mouton-Rothschild.

My lordship would like some plum brandy!

His lordship would like some
plum brandy, with two glasses!

Chambard, I'm listening.

What should I say?

You're here to recite
the Ten Commandments!

- You said you'd learned them.
- Yes, I've learned them.

- I just don't know if I remember them.
- We'll see. Start!

Thank you, my good Delphine.

Thank you, sweetheart!

If God saw you,
he wouldn't be proud.

Take it down, pass it around,
99 bottles of brandy on the wall!

Chambard, my friend,
I'm going to get angry.

Aw, you're always bugging me.

The Ten Commandments!
The Ten Commandments!

Can you say all of
the Ten Commandments?

What? You're asking me?

Yes. You don't know them.

I don't know them?

"Thou shalt have no other
gods before Me."

Next?

Just a minute, it'll come to me...

"Thou shalt not kill," and...
I've gone blank.

- His lordship should have a little drink.
- Good idea, Delphine.

There's nothing better,
to help the digestion...

...and to jog the empty memory.

Your health, Hector!

God Almighty!

You remember the old baroness...
What was her name?

- The old baroness?
- Yes.

- Oh, Madame de Brean-Jaspar!
- Yes. You remember?

She came every year,
to give out the First Prizes.

You remember the year
it was so hot?

- That was the year you won the prize.
- Oh yes?

Yes, she was a very formal
and elegant lady.

"My dear children,

"on this festive day,

"which crowns the end of the school year..."

Yes, I remember!
And then her foot slipped, and wham!

- She fell right off the stage!
- All four limbs in the air.

- The skirt was up to here...
- I rushed over to help her up.

- Up she gets and...
- Her wig!

-...falls on the ground!
- She was bald!

Yes, bald!

Bald as my knee!

Oh, God Almighty!

A snake! A snake!

Look at it! Enough
to give you a heart attack!

The gas and match salesman!

- Hang on, I'll settle your hash!
- Throw it in the fire!

The fire? That would be a treat for it.

No, what it needs is a nice icy dip.

I'll throw it down the well!

Help! Is there no God?

Farewell, you old rascal!

And don't forget my daughter-in-law.
That slut!

Save a spot for her down
on your barbecue!

The devil is dead.

God Almighty!

Don't worry, it was a false report,
I'm still here.

I love you too much.