Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
0
00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:29,921
America, we had some good times
together, right? So now you know me.
1
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:33,056
Even with the television show,
I'm still Bernie Mac.
2
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:36,101
I still say the things
you wanna say, but you can't.
3
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:40,332
And I'm not sayin' it's easy. See, every week
somebody's in my face talkin' about...
4
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,432
"Bernie Mac, you can't say this.
Bernie Mac, you can't say that."
5
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:47,536
I told you television was not
gonna change me, and it hasn't.
6
00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:50,616
I still say what I want.
Ya hear me?
7
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:56,246
Well, I'm still not sure what the problem is.
Is Bryana hurt?
8
00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:58,347
Oh, something she said?
9
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,891
Well, what did she say?
10
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:06,198
You don't wanna discuss it
over the phone?
11
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,267
Okay, I'm on my way.
12
00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:12,896
What did baby girl say?
13
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:16,237
[Sighs] I thought in the time
it would take you to get here...
14
00:01:16,342 --> 00:01:18,640
I would have the courage
to repeat it.
15
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,975
- But, um...
- You can't say it.
16
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,912
Mm-mmm. No.
17
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:26,179
- Well, can you write it down?
- I already did.
18
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:35,185
Baby girl said this?
19
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:38,128
What I cannot understand, Mr. Mac,
is where she could have heard it.
20
00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:43,066
I mean, who would have said
such an ugly, hateful, angry thing?
21
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,972
- Hey, baby.
- Mm-hmm?
22
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:51,737
The phone bill
kinda high this month.
23
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,846
Look at that.
24
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,883
Vanessa was doing good in school,
so I let her call some friends.
25
00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:00,043
- Nessa?
- Mm-hmm.
26
00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:03,816
You still gotta watch her, baby.
She already think we're rich.
27
00:02:03,923 --> 00:02:07,017
Well, compared
to where she's from.
28
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:12,292
Yeah, but she thinks we're all
country club rich, old money rich.
29
00:02:12,398 --> 00:02:15,026
Shoot, we just nigga rich.
30
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,501
- [Beeping]
- What?
31
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:20,472
Look at that.
32
00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:25,268
I don't mean to talk out of turn...
33
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:27,539
but, uh, we here at Wellington...
34
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:30,878
don't consider this to be,
um, appropriate language.
35
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:34,511
You know, I agree.
And I'm gonna talk to baby girl.
36
00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:36,987
And I guarantee you she will
never use that word again.
37
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:39,149
- Well, that's great. But, Mr. Mac?
- You're welcome.
38
00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:41,750
- Yes?
- Don't mean to talk out of turn again...
39
00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:44,022
but I'm not sure...
40
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:48,658
that it's appropriate
for anyone to say.
41
00:02:48,768 --> 00:02:50,702
- Well, it's...
- Look.
42
00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:53,328
- I don't mean to overstep.
- No, no, no, step.
43
00:02:53,439 --> 00:02:56,567
- Maybe I'm not in a position to say.
- No, you're in position.
44
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,167
- But if I'm speaking out of turn.
- No, it's your turn. Speak.
45
00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:04,342
But isn't this such an ugly...
46
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,941
hateful, angry word?
47
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:15,256
You know, let me explain.
48
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,556
I'm not quite sure
I really know how to explain...
49
00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:21,259
but when I was growing up...
50
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:25,235
we used this word
in many different ways.
51
00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:29,001
And we didn't really mean
anything by it.
52
00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:31,736
For example, if someone did
something ridiculous...
53
00:03:31,844 --> 00:03:35,644
- we would say, " Look at that crazy...
- Oh.
54
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:38,444
Or if a brother was real tough...
55
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:41,247
- we would say, "That's one bad..."
- Mm-hmm.
56
00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:43,754
You know,
or if a cat smelled real bad...
57
00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:46,484
we'll say, "Old stinkin'- -"
58
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:49,892
Okay, thank you, Mr. Mac.
I understand your point.
59
00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:54,558
Now, hold up, America. See, Bernie Mac
is not condoning the use of this word.
60
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:57,431
I'm just tryin' to explain
to her how I used it in the past.
61
00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:59,528
And I'm quite sure some of you...
62
00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:02,631
well, that's all right,
Bernie Mac ain't mad at you...
63
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,835
but anyway, have used it too.
64
00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:09,608
See, I'm just being truthful.
So before y'�ll start casting stones...
65
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:11,684
let's move on.
66
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:19,181
Let me show...
Y'�ll don't need to see everything.
67
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:21,726
You don't need
to know everything.
68
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,955
She said, "n..."
69
00:04:24,063 --> 00:04:25,963
I couldn't do nothin'.
70
00:04:26,065 --> 00:04:28,625
Every time I try to do something,
everybody watchin' me and everything.
71
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:32,899
- I ain't got no privacy.
- I understand, baby.
72
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:36,100
But we should watch what we say
in front of Bryana though.
73
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:38,700
Honestly, sweetheart,
I didn't know she was over there.
74
00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:43,373
I wasn't tryin' to hurt nobody.
She over there eavesdropping.
75
00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:47,749
Honey, I think
it's more than that.
76
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:51,381
When it was just you and me in the house,
there were certain things we could do...
77
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,584
certain things that we could say.
78
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:56,093
And now we have
a house full of kids.
79
00:04:56,195 --> 00:05:00,529
- We're role models now.
- Role models?
80
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,726
Role model?
[Chuckles]
81
00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:06,100
I'm already a role model.
Oh, come on, America.
82
00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:09,936
Y'�ll see me every week.
I feed those kids. I keep 'em in line.
83
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:13,035
I put a roof over their head.
And you gonna tell me I'm not a role model?
84
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,912
Please. Now granted, sometimes
my methods are a little coarse...
85
00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:19,644
but I don't have any outside kids,
you know what I'm sayin'?
86
00:05:19,752 --> 00:05:21,720
Now, see, Bernie Mac,
he's one of those...
87
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:25,655
Uncle Bernie,
did I say something bad?
88
00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:27,919
Come here, baby girl.
89
00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:35,132
You know, I said something bad.
90
00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:37,930
And I shouldn't have said it
with my big mouth.
91
00:05:38,037 --> 00:05:41,973
- And I don't ever want you to say it again. Okay?
- Okay.
92
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,975
- Uncle Bernie?
- Hmm?
93
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:46,910
Are you gonna say it anymore?
94
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,106
I'm gonna try my best not to.
95
00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:52,207
- And I want you to pray
for your Uncle Bernie. Okay?
- Okay.
96
00:05:52,318 --> 00:05:54,343
Now, do me a favor.
I want you to go in the kitchen...
97
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:58,185
and pour yourself some chocolate milk,
and I'm gonna come in
and we're gonna have some together.
98
00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:00,191
- Okay?
- Okay.
99
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:02,818
Hey, I love you.
100
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:05,124
You didn't say nothin' back.
101
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,867
There you have it, America.
102
00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:12,563
I guess Bernie Mac
can't say whatever he want.
103
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:15,698
All right, I learned my lesson.
End of story.
104
00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:18,902
Sorry, America, I guess
it's a short one tonight.
105
00:06:19,011 --> 00:06:22,447
And I don't think I need to tie up
any loose ends. You know what I mean?
106
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:26,143
So, what could I possibly say right now?
What could be said?
107
00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:29,380
[Bernie] Come on, Mr. Cooley.
What do you mean we got a problem?
108
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:33,789
- No, I said potential problem.
- Potential problem?
109
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:37,556
Well, Mr. Mac, the teacher
doesn't wanna talk out of turn...
110
00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:40,962
but she's concerned about your choice
of words around the children.
111
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,695
- They seem hostile to her.
- Hostile?
112
00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:46,169
Cooley, I didn't say nothin'
hostile to those kids.
113
00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:49,435
- Well, weren't you angry about a phone bill?
- Yeah, I was angry.
114
00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:52,534
I mean, I wasn't angry when I said...
115
00:06:52,645 --> 00:06:55,739
Um, I know she told you what I said.
116
00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:58,009
Well, once again, she didn't
want to talk out of turn.
117
00:06:58,117 --> 00:07:00,745
For somebody who don't wanna talk
out of turn, she sure is bumping her gums.
118
00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:03,879
- Mr. Mac.
- Now, come on, Cooley.
You known me for a while now.
119
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:07,357
I'm a good person.
I do good by those kids, man.
120
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:11,760
You know, and I-I-I mean, to some
other kids I'd probably be a role model.
121
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:18,028
I'm not gonna file a report.
This was obviously a misunderstanding.
122
00:07:18,137 --> 00:07:21,004
All right, fine. That's what I'm talkin' about.
So, we cool then, right?
123
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:24,008
Just one word of advice.
I know her kind.
124
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,977
- She's one of those touchy-feely, Berkeley types.
- Uh-huh.
125
00:07:27,079 --> 00:07:30,344
Just be extra careful what you say
around her, especially in anger.
126
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:34,181
Oh, come on now, Cooley.
Come on.
127
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:38,519
Then you won't have to have somebody like me
coming around and wasting your time.
128
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:46,497
- I'm gonna go play.
- No, you don't.
129
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:50,330
- You gonna sit and you gonna wait on your sister.
- Come on, Uncle Bernie.
130
00:07:50,436 --> 00:07:54,532
Jordan, I said sit there and wait on your sister.
That's what I mean.
131
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:58,474
- Do you wanna race?
- No, I don't wanna race.
132
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:02,275
I just wanna sit right here
and wait on your sister.
133
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:04,281
- There she is.
- [Car Door Bangs]
134
00:08:04,383 --> 00:08:06,408
Jordan! No, you don't.
135
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:09,215
You better not have
put a dent in my car. I swear.
136
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,086
Let there be a dent. I'm gonna put your hand
in the door and smash it.
137
00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:15,649
Every time I try to tell you somethin'- -
Ah, Jordan!
138
00:08:15,761 --> 00:08:18,389
What's wrong with you?
Are you blind?
139
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,831
Huh? What I gotta do to put
some sense in your head, Jordan?
140
00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:24,494
Beat you in the head with a dictionary?
It ain't gonna do no good.
141
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:28,665
'Cause you ain't gonna see it comin' with those
big, thick pop bottle glasses you got on.
142
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:32,608
Jordan, I swear, you make me so doggone angry,
I just wanna wring your neck...
143
00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:34,976
you stupid little beetle.
144
00:08:38,117 --> 00:08:41,018
- Hi, Uncle Bernie.
- Stupid little beetle?
145
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,088
Oh, Lord.
146
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,153
Hi.
147
00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:55,694
- The boy dented my car, Cooley.
- I'm not saying that you're not justified.
148
00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:58,326
- Well, what you sayin' then?
- I get peeved myself.
149
00:08:58,437 --> 00:09:02,271
- You're not a bad man.
It's just the words you chose.
- Aw, Cooley.
150
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,867
Look, it's not like
I'm here to take away the kids.
151
00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:09,311
You know what, Cooley?
That's not a bad idea.
152
00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:13,408
That's the solution. You need to take away
the kids. I'm a bad man, Cooley.
153
00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:16,454
Okay, Mr. Mac, if I thought
you were serious, I'd be worried.
154
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:20,083
But I know that your heart's
in the right place, okay?
155
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:23,721
- Okay, man, that's it.
- Well, not quite.
156
00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:28,857
I'm gonna have to visit you periodically
over the next week for observation.
157
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:33,268
- What?
- Just to make sure this isn't a hostile environment.
158
00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:35,806
See, Cooley, there you go again
with that doggone word "hostile."
159
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:38,775
- What do you mean by hostile?
- Well, it's just standard procedure.
160
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:41,574
Aw, Cooley. You...
161
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:44,980
Mr. Mac, this is nothing to
be overly concerned about.
162
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,848
Just watch your words.
163
00:09:50,022 --> 00:09:52,388
Watch my words?
Come on, America!
164
00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:54,823
How am I supposed to
watch my words?
165
00:09:58,197 --> 00:10:00,597
What the hell is this?
166
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:06,294
[Whimpers]
Let's move on.
167
00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:11,775
What?
168
00:10:11,877 --> 00:10:14,869
Did you remember to sign my permission slip
for the Covina meet?
169
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:17,950
- You do your homework?
- Yeah.
170
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:20,484
- All of it? Your math?
- Yeah.
171
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:27,491
Well, Nessa,
if you did your homework...
172
00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:30,994
you'd know that your permission slip
is inside your math book.
173
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:34,225
Nessa, you just lied to me. Just for that
you spend two days in your room.
174
00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:37,131
Two days? That's not fair.
175
00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:38,999
You're right. Let's make it three.
176
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,972
Two plus one is three.
You'd know that if you did your math.
177
00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:45,066
- But...
- But nothin'. W hat you mean, "but?"
178
00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:49,307
You keep on talkin', you gonna get
a life sentence. You'll never see the sun.
179
00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:51,542
Now go to your room, Nessa.
180
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,685
You little liar.
181
00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:56,948
Baby girl, come on.
Put some clothes on.
182
00:10:57,056 --> 00:11:00,685
- But I'm Beach Barbie.
- Baby... Baby girl.
183
00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:02,784
Look, look.
184
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:06,831
It's too cold for you to wear that. You're gonna
mess around, you're gonna get sick.
185
00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:09,162
But Beach Barbie wears a bikini.
186
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:11,566
But Beach Barbie
can't catch a cold, baby.
187
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,231
- [Whimpers]
- Okay.
188
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,434
You wanna wear that?
You'll catch the flu.
189
00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:21,206
And if you catch the flu and start throwin' up,
I'm not gonna do nothin'.
190
00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:23,577
And if you start throwin' up,
I'm gonna make you lie in it.
191
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,514
- Now, you wanna do that?
- No.
192
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:29,850
- Baby girl, could you please put on some clothes?
- Okay.
193
00:11:29,955 --> 00:11:31,946
Thank you.
194
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,595
Now, that's good parenting.
195
00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:43,535
Jordan, put that ice cream up.
You're about to eat dinner in a few minutes.
196
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:46,571
- But I'm hungry now.
- I didn't ask you that. I said put it up.
197
00:11:46,672 --> 00:11:48,537
Come on, Uncle Bernie.
198
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:51,633
If I tell you again, you're gonna be holding
the carton to the lump I put on your head.
199
00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:54,304
- Put it up!
- Aww.
200
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:08,621
- What's that you're writin', Jordan?
- Nothing.
201
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,561
Let me see. Move.
202
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:14,758
"State of California, Department of
Social Services." What the hell is this?
203
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:19,236
- That's a standard social services form.
- For what?
204
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:22,466
Sometimes in our
passionate expressiveness...
205
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,203
we can be careless
with the words we choose.
206
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:28,144
This is just a little exercise
to help us with our awareness.
207
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:31,739
- It's an awareness exercise.
- Oh, Cooley, I'm aware.
208
00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:36,584
I'm aware I got a couple of stool pigeons tryin'
to sell me down the doggone river, Cooley!
209
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:39,988
No, Mr. Mac, they'rejust writing
down your words.
210
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,061
Ah, for instance,
Vanessa said here...
211
00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:46,928
that you would lock her in her room
and she would never see the sun?
212
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:50,468
Uh-uh. Now, Cooley,
that was taken out of context.
213
00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:53,504
Not seeing the sun
in any context is harsh.
214
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,006
- Let's move on.
- Okay.
215
00:12:56,108 --> 00:13:02,047
Jordan said he'd have to hold ice cream
to the lump you gave him on his head.
216
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:06,949
No, no, no, I'm not goin' down for that.
I was referring to the ice cream.
217
00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:09,520
Well, a lump on
a child's head is hostile.
218
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,920
What... What you suggest I say?
219
00:13:12,024 --> 00:13:15,289
Knot? Bump? Contusion?
220
00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:19,262
I'm just sayin' that a head injury
to a child is inappropriate.
221
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:21,993
Aw! That's bull!
222
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:27,368
Can you believe this?
They got the kids "diming" on me.
223
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,373
All right. Cool.
224
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:33,138
Let them twist Bernie Mac's words
to sound like they're angry or hostile.
225
00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:35,179
I tell you what
I'm gonna do, America.
226
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:38,114
I'm gonna slap the taste out of their mouths.
That's right. I can see 'em now.
227
00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:40,117
"Uncle Bernie,
I can't taste my breakfast."
228
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:43,882
That's because Uncle Bernie
slapped the taste out your mouth.
229
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:46,184
Did I go too far?
230
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:49,352
Stool pigeons, rats, tricks.
231
00:13:49,461 --> 00:13:52,794
"How would you like
a four-knuckle tattoo"?
232
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:55,093
No, no, no, no.
Now, hold on, Cooley.
233
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,635
I never said nothin'- -
234
00:13:57,736 --> 00:13:59,727
[Clears Throat]
Let's move on.
235
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,404
"Jump down your throat
and stomp on your liver"?
236
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:09,503
Cooley, hold on. You know
that's not even physically possible.
237
00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:14,814
"Nanny, nanny, boo-boo.
Stick your head in doo-doo"?
238
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:18,185
What? That's good, right?
[Chuckles]
239
00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:22,351
"I'm going shopping
for a tiny pink coffin"?
240
00:14:22,461 --> 00:14:25,157
Look here. I was talkin'
about the little Barbie doll.
241
00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:28,597
Ain't no way in heck I was talkin'
about little baby girl like that. Come on.
242
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,864
You know I wouldn't say nothin' like that.
Cooley, I swear! Come on.
243
00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:34,963
I can't even... But I won't...
244
00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:38,840
See, that's... I can't say...
245
00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:41,708
All right, fine.
246
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:44,783
Fine. I ain't sayin' nothin'.
247
00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:56,091
- [Bryana] No, you don't!
- [Jordan] Yes, I do!
248
00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:58,686
Be quiet! Little baby, be quiet!
249
00:14:58,797 --> 00:15:01,766
- [Bryana] Stupidjerk!
- Shut up! Cut it out!
250
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:04,529
- Leave me alone! You always get your way!
- No, I don't!
251
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,697
- Yes, you do!
- No, I don't!
252
00:15:07,806 --> 00:15:09,706
- Yes, you do, little baby!
- No, I don't!
253
00:15:09,808 --> 00:15:11,708
Yes, you do, ugly baby!
254
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:13,869
So... So, what happened?
255
00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:16,709
Yo, all kinds of stuff.
256
00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:18,715
You know, she had this little paddle.
257
00:15:18,817 --> 00:15:21,718
Wanted me to act
like a "naughty boy."
258
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:26,420
And, yo, this girl
was fine too, man.
259
00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:29,153
- I'd take a spanking from her.
- Would you?
260
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:34,392
Would you take one now?
Give me all the chips, baby. All the chips.
261
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,229
Yes, sir.
262
00:15:36,335 --> 00:15:39,463
Hey, I took five dollars off
your dresser for nail polish.
263
00:15:39,571 --> 00:15:42,802
Okay.
[Chuckling]
264
00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:45,876
- Hey, man?
- Huh?
265
00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:47,707
- You all right?
- Yeah.
266
00:15:47,813 --> 00:15:50,441
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- I think she said she took your money, man.
267
00:15:50,549 --> 00:15:52,710
- I heard her.
- Yo, yo, yo, man.
268
00:15:52,818 --> 00:15:55,685
You want me to handle up on this?
269
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:59,952
Look, fellas, I'm fine. Come on.
I thought we were gonna play cards.
270
00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:03,392
- Okay, I'll deal then.
- Well, then just deal the cards.
271
00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:07,488
Bernie, you sure
you're all right, man?
272
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:13,067
I'm fine. You all right?
When the last time you had a physical?
273
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:15,402
- Uh, six months ago.
- You check your hearing?
274
00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:17,338
I said I'm fine. You fine?
275
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:21,243
- Deal the damn cards. Doggone, man, I'm fine.
- All right.
276
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:23,338
Damn, let's play some cards.
277
00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:30,385
Oh, Chewy Bears.
278
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:34,619
- Eew! I hate those.
- Hey!
279
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,628
Jordan, baby girl, stop it, please.
280
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,658
What you lookin' at?
281
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:47,603
Did I say anything to you when
you picked about, what, 15, 16, items?
282
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:51,005
Don't turn your back on me when
I'm talkin' to you. You the one who started it.
283
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:55,604
Yeah, you better walk away. Go on,
walk away and judge somebody else's kids.
284
00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:57,545
That's right.
What everybody lookin' at?
285
00:16:57,649 --> 00:16:59,640
I'm tired of everybody
all in my business.
286
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:03,153
America, you know what need
to be done. I can't do nothin'.
287
00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:06,884
My hands tied. Look.
They took that away from me.
288
00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:10,052
America, I am truly sorry about that.
289
00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:12,255
I just couldn't hold it in.
290
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:15,026
I shouldn't have taken it out on her.
291
00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:18,797
If any one of you all know her out there,
please tell her that Bernie Mac is sorry.
292
00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:21,168
Please. I know better than that.
293
00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,969
I was brought up better than that.
Big Mama gave me home...
294
00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:27,375
I was just acting like I drink or somethin'- -
I don't... Ignorant.
295
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:33,909
[Groans]
296
00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:36,987
[Exhales Sharply]
297
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,852
- Wanda!
- What's wrong, baby?
298
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:46,056
Come here! Doggone shoes.
299
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:48,099
- Bernie, are you all right?
- No, I ain't all right.
300
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,363
I almost broke my neck 'cause you got
a million pairs of shoes up in here.
301
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:53,631
Why you got so many shoes?
You only got two feet.
302
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:57,675
- Bernie, I'm not gonna argue
with you about these shoes.
- I'm not arguing, Wanda.
303
00:17:57,776 --> 00:18:01,473
I'm just telling you how I feel.
304
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,480
What's going on?
305
00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:08,048
Wanda, I can't take it.
I swear, I can't take it.
306
00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:11,088
I keep biting my tongue around these kids,
I'm gonna pop. I'm gonna lose it.
307
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:13,090
I can't be myself.
I can't be Bernie Mac.
308
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:15,990
And if I can't be Bernie Mac,
this is how it's gonna come out.
309
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:19,064
Somebody gotta pay the price,
and you all I got.
310
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,230
Can you hold me, baby?
311
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:28,304
[Kisses Cheek]
312
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:30,739
- I'm pitiful, Wanda.
- That's okay, baby.
313
00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:34,978
And Jordan says you gave him
a threatening look.
314
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:38,072
But you know what?
I'm not gonna put that down.
315
00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:41,050
And Vanessa says that you
mumbled something incoherently.
316
00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:44,145
That's not a big deal. So it seems like
things have gotten a lot better.
317
00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:47,419
Yeah, Uncle Bernie's
been on excellent behavior.
318
00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:50,984
His word choice has been phenomenal.
I learned that.
319
00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:52,927
[Laughing]
320
00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:54,965
Yeah, he's much more pleasant
to be around.
321
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,558
That's great. Okay.
Mr. Mac, you have anything to add?
322
00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:03,297
- Nothing?
- For what, Cooley?
323
00:19:03,408 --> 00:19:06,639
Anything I say gonna get twisted around,
and you're gonna write it down in that little pad.
324
00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:08,940
Actually, no. Anything that's
said within this meeting...
325
00:19:09,047 --> 00:19:11,140
is between us and goes no further.
326
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:13,741
- It's completely confidential.
- Completely confidential?
327
00:19:13,852 --> 00:19:16,116
- Like an attorney-client privilege.
- Really?
328
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:19,987
- Yes.
- So I can, uh, say anything I want, right?
329
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:22,253
As long as it's within
the context of this meeting.
330
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:25,194
So I can talk about grabbing
somebody by the ponytail...
331
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:29,097
shaking their head till they're damn near dizzy,
till water start pouring out of their eyes.
332
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:31,135
You know what I mean, Nessa?
I can talk about that?
333
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:34,433
And you, Jordan, you know doggone well
you're not supposed to throw no candy.
334
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:36,872
Matter of fact, you're not
supposed to throw anything.
335
00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:40,274
I should've put a dent in your head
the same way you dented my car.
336
00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:43,610
It's all right for me to do that, Cooley?
And you, baby girl.
337
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:46,513
Yeah, you just too cute.
That's the only way you get away with it.
338
00:19:46,618 --> 00:19:49,610
But that's not gonna last.
Usually last till you around six.
339
00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:51,848
What are you, five
and three-quarters? Yeah.
340
00:19:51,957 --> 00:19:54,255
Then you'll be right along
with them. You know what?
341
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:57,351
When you get with them... Pow!
I'm gonna slap all three of y'�ll.
342
00:19:57,462 --> 00:19:59,657
I feel so much better, Cooley.
343
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:02,233
[Chuckles]
344
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:06,202
See, the beauty of it, you all ain't had the
real Bernie Mac two-piece. Pow, pow!
345
00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:09,638
See, you ain't gonna see the second one
'cause the first one better knock you out.
346
00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:13,973
Mr. Mac! I can no longer be
a party to this abusive tirade.
347
00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:17,048
Now, come on, Cooley. I can't keep
watching what I say in front of these kids.
348
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:20,243
It's gonna come out like this.
You leave me no other choice.
349
00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:23,321
Jordan, you got one more time
to sit at that breakfast table...
350
00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:25,822
and chew your food with your mouth open
breathing through your nose.
351
00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:29,883
I'm gonna give you a jab in the breadbasket
I declare that'll clear up your sinuses.
352
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:34,523
- Oh, Mr. Mac.
- No, you not there, Cooley.
You don't see him every morning.
353
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:38,000
This has got to stop.
This has been going on for over an hour.
354
00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:40,367
Look here, Cooley.
I'm just starting to enjoy myself.
355
00:20:40,472 --> 00:20:43,373
- What did I ask you, you gonna come tomorrow?
- I wasn't planning to.
356
00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:47,275
Well, come on. Kids, don't you wanna see
Brad Cooley tomorrow? Say, yeah.
357
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:49,506
Please, Mr. Cooley, make him stop.
358
00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:54,615
Very good, Mr. Mac. Very good.
359
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:58,281
Bernie Mac is back, baby.
I can say what I want again.
360
00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:00,984
Well, for the most part.
But you know what I'm talking about.
361
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:04,324
Life is good, America.
Life is good.
362
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:08,263
These kids, taking me through all that.
They're just a pain in the ass.
363
00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:12,235
That's what they are, America,
just a pain in the ass.
364
00:21:12,337 --> 00:21:14,532
Y'�ll got kids. You know.
365
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,801
I just deal with mine up front.
366
00:21:16,908 --> 00:21:20,309
I don't go behind the curtain.
You know, just a pain in the ass.
367
00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:23,745
You know there's a kid around...
When your booty start hurtin', a kid around.
368
00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:26,818
A kid is close. " Oh, my booty hurt.
So, my kid somewhere."
369
00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:29,216
"Ow!" It's children.
370
00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:31,915
Bryana, what did you
just say Billy was?
371
00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:34,254
I said Billy was a pain in the...
372
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,327
Ass?
373
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:45,593
I understand, baby. We should watch
what we say in front of Bryana though.
374
00:21:45,704 --> 00:21:48,070
Honestly, baby, I didn't
know she was over there.
375
00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:52,507
I didn't mean nothin' by it.
She over there eavesdropping.
376
00:21:52,611 --> 00:21:54,772
Honey, I think
it's more than that.
377
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,939
When it was just you and me
in the house...
378
00:21:57,049 --> 00:22:00,485
certain things we could do,
certain things we could say.
379
00:22:00,585 --> 00:22:02,883
But we have a house
full of kids where...
380
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:05,786
[Water Spurting]
381
00:22:05,891 --> 00:22:07,791
- [People Laughing]
- [Man] Cut!
382
00:22:07,893 --> 00:22:09,588
Did you pay the bill?
33315
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.