All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S01E02_2

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[indistinct chatter]

[sighs]

They finally made a mistake.

A heartfelt good morning
to you, too, sir.

"Musical wizardry."
Three letters.

But it's obviously two letters.

Oz. "The Wizard Of Oz."

- The Who.
- Who?

The Who, they did a rock opera
called "Tommy."

Big number was "Pinball Wizard."

- The Who?
- It's three letters.

By the way, uh,
what are you teaching

my honor's program today?

Uh, we're looking at the causes
of the First World War.

Do you know anything
about the First World War?

Sure, that's the one
in black and white.

You know, that kind of remark
is exactly what worries me

about leaving my students

in the hands
of a substitute teacher.

Please, Dr. Samuels,
I have a hard time

handling these compliments.

Nice memo.

- Hi, Charlie.
- Hi.

- Junk mail?
- Mostly.

Ah! An invitation
to my high-school reunion.

You're going?

It's next weekend. I don't know.

High-school reunions
are about envy, regret

how much weight you've gained
and how much hair you've lost.

- Don't go.
- You've convinced me.

[bell ringing]

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Good morning.
Y'all have a great weekend?

As a matter of fact, I had
a very interesting weekend.

This incredible thing happened

at my Calculus Club
awards banquet.

Don't tell me,
you all broke your glasses

and there wasn't enough tape
to go around.

I spent the weekend
making up palindromes.

Palindromes?

It is a sentence that spells out

exactly the same
backwards or forwards.

Like, uh, "Madam, I madam."

Well, that's kind of
a boring one.

If we had a contest,
I could kick your ttub.

- That's butt backwards.
- Mm-hmm.

Janice, nobody cares.

Thank you, Janice.

I did grade your papers
on trouble spots in the world

where war could start,
and you're getting better.

You're still
a little long on facts

and little short on imagination.

Mr. Moore,
I don't have an imagination.

I'm still having trouble
with reality.

There is one paper, though

that I'd like you
to listen to, okay?

"The walls are dirty gray

"like snow on New York streets.

"But it is hot and sticky

"and there's a sign
among the advertisements

"warning everyone that
this is chain-snatching season.

"A well-dressed woman
sees the sign

"and casually drops her
gold necklace inside her blouse.

'"No one smiles.'

"No one ever smiles here.

"In this civilized war zone,
the New York Subway

a smile
is a sign of vulnerability."

Anybody guess who wrote this?

[chuckles]
Well, we know
it wasn't Mayor Koch.

It was Eric.

Well, you're not gonna count
that as an assignment, are you?

- Well, why not?
- 'Is that fair?'

I wrote 50 pages
on Central America

and all Eric did
was ride the subway.

I studied maps
of the Middle East.

I memorized the 36
warring factions in Lebanon.

I even spent four hours
at a falafel stand.

Only four hours?
What, are you on a diet?

God, if he gets an A,
that is so sick.

Don't worry, they won't let him
get away with that in college.

H-hey, Mr. Moore,
do me a favor, okay?

Do everybody a favor.
Give me an F.

What?
That's interesting work, Eric.

So what?

Don't get mad, Eric,
we didn't mean--

I'm not mad.

Really, jus-just
get on with it.

It's no big deal.

Well, let's get on to, uh,
one of my favorite subjects.

- World War I.
- Not necessary.

- We know all about it.
- Oh, really?

[chuckles]

Did you know that it was started
by one bad driver?

[laughing]

Oh, Mr. Moore, could I talk
to you for a minute, please?

Sure.

- Ooh!
- Uh, start the war without me.

Look, I'm afraid
you're not going

to your reunion
because of what I said.

Just because mine was horrible

you might really like yours.
So, here.

I pulled your invitation
out of the wastepaper basket.

Just promise me that you won't
not go because of me.

No, I promise you
I won't not go because of me.

- Yes.
- Good.

(all)
Ooh!

Alright, alright. Where were we?

We were watching you
and the assistant principal

makin' goo-goo eyes.

Ms. Meara was delivering
an invitation

to my high-school reunion,
okay? It's no big deal.

It is a big deal.
It's a very big deal.

What are you gonna wear?

[scoffs]
I'm not going.

Not going?

I think a reunion
with your high-school friends

would be a beautiful experience.

Hey, Simone, you want
a beautiful experience?

Uh, no, thanks.

Come on, Mr. Moore,
level with me.

You're nervous about goin',
right?

No, I'm not nervous about going.

Uh, it-it's just that, uh,
it's about success.

Uh, people don't get friendly
at reunions, they get revenge.

It's trial by memory.

Besides, it's in Weiser, Idaho.

- Weiser?
- Idaho?

Mr. Moore,
you have to relax, okay?

I mean, you'd have to be
a total flop in New York

for people in Idaho
to think that you're a loser.

Would you stop using words
like flop and loser?

How about weenie?

[all laughing]

Mr. Moore, are you gonna come
to our 20th reunion?

I would pay money to see that.

This class, 20 years from now?

No problem, I mean,
we can do that right now.

You really wanna do this?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

Twenty years later.

[indistinct chatter]

Nice to see you.

I don't believe this!

Same old room, same old desk.

[gasps]
Same old chalk.

- Same old teacher.
- Yeah.

He didn't age well.

No, he did not age well at all.

Couldn't make it on the outside,
huh, Mr. Moore?

Alan, is that you?

Bald! I mean..

You've all changed a great deal

uh, with the exception,
of course, of Dennis.

Who could forget
the silhouette of the century?

[laughing]

Oh, Mr. Moore.

Mr. Moore, listen to me,
I'm 38 years old.

Mind if I call you Chuck?

Hello, Den.

So how has your life been?

Well, Caltech, Livermore,
secret weapons.

I cracked.

I had the old breakdown,
I hit bottom.

One night I got so desperate
for a Slurpee

I held up a 7-Eleven.

[laughing]

But by some miracle

this little woman, Maria,
was the cashier.

We got married, had some kids

I had a heart attack,
lost fifty pounds six times.

But, hey..

...I wouldn't trade a minute
of it. Right, hon?

I would rather drink Diacol
through my nose

than be married to you.

- 'Oh!'
- 'Oh!'

So what really happened?

I became a hit-lady for the Mob
and then I married a hit-man

and then we ended up
having contracts on each other.

Come on, Marie, that's a plot
of a movie. "Prizzi's Honor."

[sighs]
Look, I told you I didn't have
an imagination, okay?

Alan?

Oh, come on.
Don't you read the papers?

I'm a senator.

(all)
'Whoo!'

It's great to be
young and rich and powerful.

What about light?

- Oh!
- Oh!

Janice, all grown up.
You're so tall.

I got my PhD at 15

and then I got a job memorizing

the entire
New York Public Library

in case of fire.

And I wrote a novel
that was one giant palindrome

from beginning to end
and back.

And then?

And then my head exploded.

I guess no one
even recognizes me.

Arvid, is that you?

You're right, Mr. Moore.
I did win the Nobel Prize.

- Ah!
- 'Yay!'

And I-I was president of MIT.

But I kept up
the old accordion lessons

and I made a recording.

And by a quirk of fate,
it was a hit!

[chuckles]

What about you, Darlene?

I'm the host
of "Good Morning America."

- Ooh!
- Whoo!

Simone?

I'm living with Woody Allen.

- 'Ooh.'
- 'Ooh.'

Woody Allen is over 70, man.

Well, he's still sexy.

Your turn, Eric.

[scoffs]
Right.

Come on. Everybody else did it.

- So?
- It's just a game.

Nobody is gonna hold you to it.

Look, just dream about what you
think you want your life to be

who you think you might become.

It's fun to play
with the possibilities.

Yeah, well, you have fun. Hm.
I'm splitting, man.

Later.

Once every 20 years with Eric
is a lot.

Hurry up, kids. They're running
out of the meatloaf.

Come on.

- Well, you think about it?
- About what?

Oh, Mr. Moore has
a high-school reunion coming up.

Really? I love reunions.

Hey, I went to Canarsie.

We had three.
Every one of them was a blast.

- Don't you feel insecure?
- Let me tell you something.

When I walk in to one of those
things, I get attention.

I get respect from doctors,
lawyers, politicians.

- Know why?
- No. Why?

Because no matter
how powerful or rich they get

everybody is still afraid
of the principal.

Listen, where do I find a place
called Izzy's.

You? Go to Izzy's?

[siren blaring]

[pinball machine clanking]

You got a nice touch.

Yeah, it's a result of hours
at George's.

My high-school hangout
back in Idaho.

It's an interesting game,
pinball.

Requires skill, chance..

[sighs]
You hit it too hard. Tilt.

By any chance, is there,
like, a lesson in life here?

Eric, you think I would be
eating this food

if I wasn't pushing
a lesson on life?

[sighs]
Okay, I'm sorry
I ran out of your class.

Well,
it was an interesting paper.

Why did you throw it
in the trash?

I didn't want
the Pulitzer Prize, man.

I just wanted to show them..

Forget it.

Show 'em what?

That I could do that stuff
if I want to.

I mean, didn't you love the way
it freaked everybody out?

So why are you
in the honors program, anyway?

I got no choice.

They found out I'm smart.

Now I'm like
an academic prisoner of war.

Oh, you're a big boy.

If you hate it that much,
you could always escape.

[scoffs]
I would get
the beating of my life.

Your father?

My mother.

She's the dreamer in the family.

So? She thinks
you have a future, right?

Yeah. She thinks I'm like
everybody else in the class.

But I'm not. I mean, they know
they're gonna make it. Me?

[scoffs]

I'm lookin' at bein'
the best-read guy at Izzy's.

Is that want you want?

Doesn't matter what I want.
That's just the way it is.

Come on, you may not get
exactly what you want

but, uh, if you stay open
to the possibilities

somethin' may come along
that you'll like.

Look, dreams change

but that needn't keep you
from havin' them.

Yeah, well, I guess your dreams
got run over by a truck, huh?

And since you're not going
to your reunion..

Well, it's true,
I didn't come to New York

to be a substitute teacher.
I mean..

I thought I was the Orson Welles
of Weiser, Idaho.

I wrote, I directed

and I starred
in my senior musical.

I called it..

[sighs]
..."Goodbye, Weiser.
Hello, Broadway."

So you didn't make it
to Broadway.

Oh, but I still direct a little
theatre off-off-off Broadway.

How far off?

Newark.

Hey, Mr. Moore, you know,
we got a lot in common.

I don't wanna deal
with my future

and you don't wanna deal
with your past.

Tilt.

[instrumental music]

How could the way
one man drove a car

help start First World War?

You're gonna beg me to tell you

or should I just go ahead
on my own?

Mr. Moore, please,
just some good solid facts

that I can write down, okay?

Okay, Alan.

June, 1914, Franz Ferdinand,
the Archduke of Austria

is visiting
what is now known as Yugoslavia.

Now, here's the fun part.

On the parade route, there are
waiting seven assassins.

Sort of unofficial greeters
with potentially bad news.

Now, the first five
mess up completely.

Some of 'em can't shoot, some
others blow up the wrong car.

Now, by now the Archduke
is getting a little suspicious

so he decides
to change the route.

Nobody bothers
to tell the driver.

And in the confusion,
this guy stops

right in front
of the final assassins.

The Archduke is shot,
Austria blames Yugoslavia.

Everybody chooses up sides and..

[imitates bugle call]

...World War I.

So what are we saying now?

We're sayin' that the duke's
driver was one dumb wuss.

No, we're saying
that the biggest mistake

that history students make

is leaving out
the element of chance.

It's what makes life
interesting.

Mr. Moore,
I have a horrible feeling

this has something to do
with our little talk.

Alright.
Since you brought it up.

I didn't bring it up,
you snuck it in.

Well, Franz Ferdinand thought
that he was headed

in the right direction.
Obviously, he was wrong.

You never know.

It's full of surprises
out there.

Mr. Moore, do me a favor,
ask anybody in this room

who is the least likely
to succeed.

Eric!

Janice, he didn't ask.

He was going to.

I think you guys ought to have
another reunion.

[sighs]
Excuse me, Mr. Moore, some of us
would like to get an education.

This could be very educational
and different.

- How?
- 'Well..'

This time, instead of telling us
who you are

the others tell you. The..

Jawaharlal, go outside.
Come back in.

See, it's the same class,
20 years later

only, we tell him who he is.

[door opens]

Hello. Heh-heh.

Who am I?

Don't even talk to me.

The wife and I
are furious at you.

Forget it, Dennis,
we got a divorce.

Like I said, the wife and I
don't like hangin' around

with a guy
who owns porno theaters.

Oh, I-I-I thought
that I was a doctor.

That's what makes it so painful.
We had such high hopes for you.

[laughing]

Good. Okay,
it's, uh, your turn.

Right. World War I.
We got Ger--

Unh-unh-unh. Eric, outside.

- Why should I do this?
- Find out.

[groans]

Hey, everybody. It's me.

Your old buddy, Eric.

I guess you all know
what I'm doin' now, huh?

Right, nothing.

Well, you know,
it wasn't a total loss

'cause my old gum is still here.

It's really great
sharing the memories with you.

Mr. Moore,
pssh, oh, always a pleasure.

Eric.

Remember, back in high school

when you wrote that paper
about people on the subway?

Well, I wouldn't admit it then

but I thought
it was really good.

- Right.
- It was.

I mean, even though
you shortcut the assignment.

It was good.

I was real excited
when I saw your book.

My book?
Please, give me a break, okay?

I bought it. I loved it. I even
made my kids read it, Eric.

Our kids, right, hon?

Wrong, hon.

You know,
you never thought you'd make it

but look at you,
you're...fulfilled.

We all have important jobs
and we-we make big money.

But are we happy?

Not me. I'm miserable.

I've married and divorced
every woman in this class.

- Except Janice.
- Don't even think about it.

Well,
I'm very proud of you, Eric.

Simone, it's me.

I know.

I don't know
how many of you read my column.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Right, I've got a column.

It's in "The Voice."

Anyway, my column was about

when you're young
and you don't see any future

'sometime
somebody could come along'

and make you see
that there can be one.

And you may not succeed.

But, hey, why not let it be
a surprise, huh?

I read that column.
It won an award.

It did?

Sure, why not?

And you know
who that someone was?

The pinball wizard here.

That old geezer from Weiser.

Mr. Charlie Moore.

- Oh!
- 'Yeah!'

[applauding]

Thank you very much.
Uh, well..

Uh, when I first
began teaching here

uh, for an aeon, 20 years ago

the salary was $18,000 a year.

Now, with the bonuses
and overtime

I clear a million four.

But you know,
the strange thing is

just when teachers are finally
being paid what they are worth

I'm too old to enjoy it.

So, uh,
what are we saying here, Eric?

I'm sayin', in the past
I had a problem with my future

now I got a problem
with the present.

I'm still stuck in here
with these gum-bees.

So what are you sayin',
Mr. Moore?

I guess I'm sayin',
"Weiser, Idaho, here I come."

[cheering]

[applauding]

[instrumental music]

- Good morning.
- 'Morning.'

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

So, how was the reunion?

Well, you're not gonna
believe this

but I was the only one
who showed up.

No one else had the guts.

That is one unsuccessful
graduating class.

Just kidding.

[laughing]

Ah, they were all there.

We were talkin' about
Georgey Pelch's arson trial

and, uh, the soda-pop cooler
broke down at the post office.

A recent epidemic
of a lawn-grass fungus

had the whole town very worried.

But the, the event
was, uh, very successful.

Okay, how many people think

he lied about his career
in theatre?

Can we have a show of hands?

Okay, I fudged a little. I..

I moved my off-off-off
Broadway theatre uptown

a couple of offs.

So who's gonna check?

Oh, yeah.

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