All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S01E01_2

[theme music]

[theme music]

[theme music]

[bell rings]

Where's the principal's office?

- Yes? Can I help you?
- Oh, yeah.

I'm Charlie Moore.
I'm substitute teacher.

Bernadette Meara.
Uh.. Assistant principal.

You're late, Mr. Moore. You
missed the pledge of the flag.

I did that at home.

- Room 19.
- 19. Thanks.

Oh, Mr. Moore..

Look, I-I'd better warn you
about your first period class.

Warn me? Heh.

I've taught in the toughest
high schools in New York City.

[exhales]

Morning.

My name is Mr. Moore. But you
can call me by my first name.

Mister.

Contemporary history. Great!

"Cuban Missile Crisis."
Good, I know this one.

Cuban Missile Crisis.

I assume we do know
where Cuba is?

Would you like the political,
diplomatic or economic version?

Stop showing off, Alan,
and just give him the facts.

1962, Castro let the Russians
put offensive missiles on Cuba

and Kennedy cites
the Rio Treaty. Article 5.

It's Article 6, not five, Maria.

And that's not even important.

You gotta talk about
the boarding of the Marucla

the letters from Kennedy
to Khrushchev.

- On the 28th.
- On the 29th.

The missiles were removed
and Kennedy pledged

not to invade Cuba.

Now, of course,
that is just a simple overview.

Are we saying
we do know where Cuba is?

What we're sayin' is,
if you don't mind

we'd rather use the class time
to get ready

for the Academic Olympics.

We have a big meet on Saturday.

- Top drawer.
- What?

You can read a magazine.

There're some in the top drawer.

I can read a magazine?

Didn't they tell you?
This is IHP.

"IHP?"

Individualized Honors Program.

Our principal, Dr. Samuels

doesn't like the subs
to try and teach us.

- It's a waste of time.
- Oh, really?

Hmm.

You think you know
everything about

the Cuban Missile Crisis, huh?

It so happened you left out

probably the single most
important factor.

Little item
called the baseball.

"The baseball,"
the class wondered.

"Tell us more," they cried.

- What does that mean?
- Thank you.

It doesn't mean anything.
He's blowing smoke.

So far, we're four minutes
into this class

and we've accomplished zip.

I'm going to the library.

Um, don't mind Alan.

He-he's very intense.

Who are you?

Oh, I'm, uh, I-I'm Arvid Engen.

Uh, my Grade Point Average
is 4.0. And, uh..

My nickname is Badges,
because I won so many awards.

[chuckles]

And, uh..
Oh, I like squash.

- You play squash?
- No, I eat it.

Uh, and you are?

Oh, uh, uh,
my name is Jawaharlal.

I'm new, from India.

I was very worried
about being accepted

by my new friends in New York.

[chuckles]
But already everyone tells me

I'm just one of the geeks.

Hi. Janice Lazarotto.
Sorry I'm late.

Late? You look about
five years too early.

Uh, are you sure
you got the right room?

I'm ready for college,
but my parents said

I've to be in here
with these num-nums

until I'm mature.

Only kidding.
I'm a genius!

It bugs 'em.

You must be, uh,
the graduate student.

I'm Dr. Samuels,
I'm the principal.

I found Alan in the hall
without a pass.

He said you were wasting time
schmoozing.

Why aren't you reading
a magazine?

I was about to try
a whacky new concept.

Teaching.

Didn't they tell you
about the Academic Olympics?

They have work to do.

They, uh, mentioned, uh,
some competition on Saturday.

Competition?
We're already 5 and 0.

Next week, we're going
to level Brooklyn Tech.

Look at this team.

Dennis,
chemistry, physics.

He can solve any problem
that you can think up.

Darlene,
the speech and debate monster.

Put her in a room
with William F. Buckley

she'll break both his legs.

Jawaharlal, natural science.

'Alan, political science.'

'Arvid, mathematics.'

'My cleanup hitter.'

My big man, my enforcer.

Without Arvid,
forget it.

And little Janice.

What can you say?
She knows everything.

She's spooky.

They all are.
Watch this.

Thirty August of 1980?

Ozzy Osbourne
eats his first rat on stage.

That's why you're not
on the team, Eric.

I'm not on the team, because
I don't wanna be on the team.

Let's keep it that way. Alan?

Poland officially
recognizes Solidarity.

Three-tenths of one percent?

The density of oxygen
on the planet Mars.

Pick a poem, any poem.

Uh, "Margaret, are you grieving

over Goldengrove unleaving?"

Simone?

"Leaves like the things of man

"you with your fresh thoughts
care for, can you?

"Ah! As the heart grows older

it will come
to such sights colder."

Gerard Manley Hopkins,
"Spring and Fall."

Is she a killer or what?

Okay, anybody. You have
a six-inch mercury thermometer.

You are wanting to know
the height of a nearby building.

How will you do it?
The big "A."

Algebra,
two equivalent triangles.

Simple ratios, B equals D
times C over A.

Which is the height
of your thermometer.

It's physics. Air pressure
decreases as you go up.

It is 1 X psi
for every 250 feet.

That's how
you use a thermometer.

What about you, Mr. Moore?

You think
you could answer that?

Oh, I can give it a try.

- Give it your best shot.
- Okay.

Uh, I'd find
a building superintendent

and I'd say, uh

"Hey, man, you tell me
how tall the building is

I'll give you this thermometer."

Can I talk to you outside?

Mr. Moore, in the rather
dull galaxy of my life

there is one bright,
pure, beautiful shimmering star.

My honors program,
which I put together personally.

Those kids represent
culture, education

fine arts,
the future of civilization.

Don't mess with them.

I'm only here for two days.

How much damage can I do?

Just babysit, Mr. Moore.

Babysit.

[exhales]

[sighs]
Look, at the risk

of destroying Alan's life

uh, let's talk some more about
Cuban Missile Crisis, okay?

Now, why was the
common baseball so important?

I'm glad you asked.

See, history is not just
names and dates.

It's made up of moments

relationships, turning points.

Interruptions.

Sorry to bother you, but I have
to get the names of the kids

that are going
to the dance tomorrow night.

[chuckles]
That's what I thought. Bye.

Hey, Arvid? She's gone,
you can breathe now, man.

So, we're too smart to go
to dances too, huh?

Dances are for airheads.

They're non-productive.

The music is simplistic.

People are really dumb.

I don't like the kind of
statement it makes.

Statement?

Well, yeah.

Uh, the statement that women
are sexual objects.

I mean,
dances force 'em to dress up

and compete against each other
for the attentions of men?

I'm sorry, but I personally find
that de-humanizing to women

and I'm not gonna
have any part of it.

Who was your sub yesterday?
Donahue?

He's pulling your chain, man.

Don't you get it?

They don't go to dances
'cause they're nerds.

That's all.
This is a room full of freaks.

But you're different, right?

I happen to be cursed
with brains.

But if it were up to me, I
wouldn't even be in this class.

- So, who is it up to?
- My mother.

Well, she took a course
in tough love.

Hey, it's either this
or live in the garage.

With my father.

So, uh,
you're going to the dance?

No.

But I'm not going
'cause I don't wanna go.

They're not going
'cause they're lameos, man?

Is he right?

Is that how you see yourselves,
as lameos?

Simone?

(Charlie)
Darlene?

Arvid?

Well, hey, let's face it,
if a guy

landed from Mars,
and said, "What's a nerd?"

they'd bring him to me.

Nah, I'm-I'm smart
and funny looking.

It's a deadly combination.

Okay, Albert Einstein.
Smart and funny looking, right?

Marilyn Monroe said that
he was the sexiest man

she ever met.

Yeah, unfortunately,
Marilyn Monroe

is no longer
in the dating pool.

Come on, Arvid,
you've got a lot goin'.

I mean,
you're, you're smart.

- Yeah.
- You got wit.

- True.
- Charm.

- Sure.
- Charisma.

I don't think
I have the charisma.

You do have a certain aura, hmm?

You know how to dance?

- Yeah.
- Well, what does that tell you?

Well, yeah! I could see myself
going to the dance.

Okay, there must be
somebody out there

that you could ask.

You know, Arvid..

Lori just broke up
with Barry. Ahem.

Why don't you ask her?

[Darlene laughing]

Who's Lori?

The girl that just
came to the door.

Oh.

- Well, ask her.
- Okay.

- I will.
- Okay.

- So, go ask her.
- Now?

Come on,
I'll give you a hall pass.

Wha.. I can't just go up
and ask her!

Arvid, what's the worst thing
that can happen?

She might say no, right?

Better yet, she says yes.

Then, at the dance

she makes a complete idiot
out of you.

So, you use your unbelievable
mental powers

to blow up the place
and kill everybody

like in "Carrie."

Janice, grow up.

Here, Arvid.

Go for it.

Arvid, wait!

Better.

Okay, who's next?

Come on, somebody.

'Simone!'

- Never mind.
- Listen up, class.

Tomorrow night,
an extra practice.

I wanna be razor-sharp
for Saturday.

Everybody up for that?

I think some of 'em
may be going to the dance.

I can't conceive
of one person on my team

who'd be so irresponsible

as to jeopardize our chances
by going to a dance.

See you at practice!

(Arvid)
Yippee!

I did it! She said yes!

Let's boogie!

Woo-hoo! Yippee!

Woo-hoo!

[laughing]

Is there a problem?

[theme music]

(Charlie)
A simple sphere.

Elastic filament,
wrapped around a cork center

covered with horse hide

hand-stitched
on the Island of Hispaniola.

If not for this,
the entire Cuban Missile Crisis

might have been avoided.

[tapping on board]

Okay, Arvid,
we're all on pins and needles.

What are you gonna do?

Well, I've-I've analyzed it

and th-th-the choices
are simple.

I.. Well, I could
alienate a, a beautiful girl

who, who normally wouldn't
give me the time of day

or I could, uh,
totally enrage an..

well, an unattractive man

who, uh,
could get me into Yale.

Where would you kids be
without Dr. Samuels?

Every time you're in a situation
you don't wanna cope with

you say,
"Dr. Samuels won't let me."

My problem is not Dr. Samuels,
it's my parents.

Oh, your parents
won't let you go?

No, it's just that,
they'll go with me.

Everything I do, they're there.

Supporting, encouraging.

Videotaping.

I mean, would you go
to a dance if you knew

your father
was gonna be there

following you around
with the camera?

And your mom was gonna
be interviewing your date?

Gee, you're breaking my heart,
Darlene.

Okay, Dennis,
what's your reason?

Oh, I believe it has
something to do with

his deep commitment
to feminism.

Oh, yeah?

I believe
it has something to do

with his deep commitment
to lasagna.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's right.

Take a cheap shot.
Make fun of my weight.

It's okay.

'Cause I'm not stupid.

I know why I am overweight.

It's anxiety.

As a future physicist

I, I'm on a collision course

with destiny.

They're probably
gonna use me to create

some sort of super weapon
to annihilate mankind

and I won't be able to stop it.

Now, wouldn't that keep you
up at night

getting it on with Sara Lee?

"Collision course with destiny?"

What is this,
"Days of Our Lives?"

Can we get back to learning
something and be quiet

so I can study?

W-w-wait, this is,
this is getting good.

I like this.
Maria?

Why aren't you goin'
to the dance?

'Cause I'm grounded.

Oh, you're grounded? Why?

I did something really terrible.

Well, how terrible?

It's beyond talking about,
let's just forget it.

Car theft? Bank robbery?
Shoplifting? What?

I got a B.

[gasps]

So your parents grounded you
because you got a B?

No, I grounded myself.

You grounded yourself?

Well, it's the only way
I'm gonna learn.

Alright, I-I-I've..
I have made a decision.

Excuse me, Mr. Moore.

Listen up, gang,
practice tonight at my house

seven o'clock sharp.

Free pizza, on me.

Uh, I can be there.

We all will be,
won't we, Arvid?

No.

What do you mean "No?"

I'm going to the dance.

What are you saying, Arvid?

Well, well, say I-I-I..

Up-up until now I saw myself
as a nerd, you know?

But, well,
it's like Mr. Moore told us.

History is made up
of-of-of moments.

And yesterday,
because of what he said..

...I made history.

What did he say?

I said, I thought
going to the dance

might be as important
as trashing Brooklyn Tech.

[scoffs]
Look at Arvid.

I mean, yesterday,
he knew he was smart.

And today,
he knows he's attractive.

And all of a sudden,
I've-I've a totally hot babe

dying to go to the dance
with me.

I mean, t-to turn that down,
would be totally dumb.

Totally. We were just
talking about you.

- Uh-oh!
- Just a minute, young lady.

Do you usually barge
into a classroom like this?

I'm sorry,
I had to give someone a message.

What message?

Well, it's kinda personal.

Out in the hall would be better.

[indistinct chatter]

Uh, e-excuse me, she,
she probably wants to tell me

what color corsage to buy.

- 'Oh!'
- 'O-oh!'

Over here, please.

Two days you've been here,
people are wandering in the hall

the class is confused

and I'm about to lose
the best brain on my team.

What are you teaching them?

I'm teaching them
they're humans.

It's a high school dance.

I don't want
their minds cluttered

with boy-girl problems.

Leads to anxiety and rejection.

They're not like you and me.

They can't handle it.

Oh! I see.

If they try to handle it
then we as, uh..

...adults and educators should
just try to crush it, huh?

What are you talking about?

You just saw Arvid
turn into a man

right before your eyes.

Didn't have anything to do with
the density of oxygen on Mars.

Hey, hey, great news!

Lori and Barry made up.

She is going to the dance
with him.

[chuckles]
Oh, it's okay.

I, uh, I-I had a feeling
we were drifting apart anyway.

So...problem solved.

[laughs]

I'll, uh, see you at practice.

No.

Well, I'm still going
to the dance.

What?

Well, I mean,
just because the princess

has a change of plans
doesn't mean

I go back to being a frog.

You know, Mr. Moore..

I will always
remember your words.

"I'm only here two days.
How much damage can I do?"

You know, even a pessimist
like myself had no idea.

[bell rings]

Try saying goodbye
without screwing up.

I can't tell you
how nourishing this has been.

Well, uh, I don't know
what the odds are

we'll see one another again.

I do, sir.

If you compute
the number of schools

with the number of substitute--

Not now, Janice.

I just wanted to say
I really enjoyed this.

And you have a great time
at the dance, okay?

Rest of you, uh, good luck.

Do well on the competition.

See ya.

Well, Mr. Moore,
uh, before we go

what did the baseball have to do
with the Cuban Missile Crisis?

I mean, in case it shows up
on the final or something.

[scoffs]
Yeah. The baseball.

Back in the '50s, uh,
there was a young Cuban pitcher

named Fidel Castro.

He was good, so good
that he got some attention

from Major League scouts and..

...the Washington Senators
gave him a try-out.

They handed him one of these

and he threw it
as hard as he could.

And they said..

"Sorry, Fidel..

you just don't have
a big league fastball."

So...he went into politics.

That's ridiculous.

I mean, it's like saying
if Ronald Reagan

had been a better actor

he wouldn't have
a strategic defense initiative.

[mouths]
Wow.

[bell rings]

- Thank you.
- Deeply.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

- Buh-bye, Janice.
- Bye.

- Thanks a lot.
- Bye.

Alan..

Mr. Moore, um..

I'll, I'll never forget
how we came this close

to getting me a-a major date.

Well, someday
when you win the Nobel Prize

maybe you'll remember that..

...you learned how to take
a stand right in this room.

They might put up
a little plaque.

Yeah, i-it'll say,
"On this spot

Arvid Engen made a friend."

[laughs]

[theme music]

- Morning, Charlie.
- "Morning, Charlie."

What am I doing here?

He told me to make the call,
I make the call.

- Who?
- I did.

- Why?
- I could say..

Because as a teacher,
you are innovative,

creative and dedicated.

Or I could say, it's because
Arvid's father phoned me.

He's on the board of education.

You will be taking over IHP
for the next couple of weeks

until Mr. Thomas gets back.

That is, if you want to.

[bell rings]

- Okay!
- Hey!

Alright!

[chuckles]
Okay.

Tell me what happened?
I wanna know.

What do you think?
We slaughtered Brooklyn Tech.

I know, of course,
you won the meet.

I'm talkin' about real life.

What happened, Arvid?

Well, I was cool.

Looked pretty good.

Danced with a dozen or so babes.

Few of 'em, uh,
asked me to call 'em later.

What a geek!

Simone?

I didn't go to practice
Friday night.

I went to the dance.

You-you, you were at the dance?

Yes.

- I was watching you.
- Oh, oh, you were?

You looked pretty cool to me,
Arvid.

[theme music]