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1
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,752
I'll knock your block off, you big stiff!
You're a bum!
2
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,119
Strike! You're out!
3
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,029
Elmer, here it is.
4
00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,632
- I knew you'd find it.
- Boy, I could sure use a drink.
5
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,434
I wonder if any big shots
are getting married today?
6
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,758
Looks like the same suckers
get married every day.
7
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:11,909
Come on.
8
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,350
Hey, the guy with the cheaters.
9
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,078
Now what's he hiding from?
10
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:30,913
- Hey, isn't that Mortimer Brewster?
- Mortimer Brewster, the dramatic critic?
11
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,674
No, it's not him. But what a scoop it'd be!
12
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:40,191
The guy who wrote The Bachelor's Bible
getting hooked. It's too good to be true.
13
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,635
Let's snap the mayor
in his new fire helmet and go.
14
00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:44,676
Let's stick around, see who the guy is.
15
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,320
"Two by two they come and go"
16
00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,671
Good morning, children.
Your name, please?
17
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:51,671
- Elaine Harper.
- Speak a little louder.
18
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:52,954
Elaine Harper.
19
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:54,873
Thank you. Yours?
20
00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,556
- Mortimer Brewster.
- How's that?
21
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:02,559
Mortimer Brewster.
22
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:05,393
Speak up, sonny.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
23
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,438
I want to keep this undercover.
24
00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:16,717
Love her? Of course you love her.
You're marrying her, right?
25
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,552
You don't understand. Come here.
26
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:20,676
I don't want this to get out for a while.
27
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,478
I'm Mortimer Brewster.
28
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,115
You're who?
29
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:25,594
Mortimer Brew...
30
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:30,555
That's him!
31
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:32,994
Mr. Brewster!
32
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,113
Now, look...
33
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,228
Goodbye, dear.
34
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,117
Don't you understand?
How can I marry you?
35
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:54,391
Me, the symbol of bachelorhood.
I've sneered at every love scene.
36
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,030
I've written four million words
against marriage!
37
00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:01,159
Not only hooked, but to a minister's
daughter, and a girl from Brooklyn.
38
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,516
Look at the way you look!
What is that contraption you've got there?
39
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:08,515
A pin I borrowed from your aunts.
You know, "Something borrowed... "
40
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,433
I know, "Something borrowed,
something blue." Old, new.
41
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,954
Rice and old shoes.
Carry you over the threshold.
42
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:17,032
Niagara Falls. All that silly tripe.
Is this what I've come to?
43
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,839
I can't go through with it.
I won't marry you. That's that.
44
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,753
- Yes, Mortimer.
- What do you mean, "Yes, Mortimer"?
45
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,235
Aren't you insulted?
Aren't you going to cry?
46
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,198
- No, Mortimer.
- And don't "No, Mortimer" me, either!
47
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,151
Marriage is a superstition.
48
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,237
It's old-fashioned. It's...
49
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:18,308
O'Hara, don't be a jerk.
You don't realize...
50
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:21,312
I'm turning over to you
the nicest, best beat in Brooklyn.
51
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,198
Now look at that old church.
And them old houses.
52
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,876
Did George Washington ever sleep here?
53
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:30,589
Of course he did. This whole neighborhood
just stinks with atmosphere.
54
00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:34,112
- And look at that old house.
- The original owners still there?
55
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,509
Don't crack wise
about the Brewster sisters.
56
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:40,639
They're two of the dearest, sweetest
old ladies that ever walked the earth.
57
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,472
They're out of this world.
58
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,431
They're like pressed rose leaves.
59
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:47,994
Pressed rose leaves?
60
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,391
The old girls must be kind of hard up.
61
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,316
Their old man left them fixed for life.
62
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,470
Don't you call them "the girls," either.
63
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,152
Brophy. Is Lieutenant around?
64
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,037
So what are they renting rooms for?
65
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,237
They don't. But you can bet
if anybody came looking for a room...
66
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:06,517
they wouldn't go away
without a good meal and a couple of bucks.
67
00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,228
That's their way of digging up people
to do good to.
68
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,997
Reverend Harper, I do hope
you don't disapprove of Mortimer...
69
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:25,312
because he's a dramatic critic
and takes your daughter to the theater.
70
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,160
It's not that I disapprove
of his being a critic...
71
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:31,596
but no man with this
published attitude...
72
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,592
should take any man's daughter
anyplace, at any time.
73
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,838
I must be catching cold.
74
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,878
No, dear. It was Reverend Harper
who sneezed. Bless you.
75
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,510
We mustn't be angry with Mortimer.
76
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:51,593
He's so very much in love with her.
Sister Martha and I are so happy.
77
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,917
He used to come to see us
only occasionally, and now...
78
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,310
he's in Brooklyn six nights a week.
79
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,836
Remember now, watch your language.
80
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:02,877
You know I'm not a swearing man.
81
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,713
You'd be surprised
what they'd consider swearing.
82
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,709
Will you excuse me?
No, no, Teddy, dear. Thank you. I'll go.
83
00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:18,035
- Come right in, Mr. Brophy.
- Miss Abby, we came for the toys.
84
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,754
This is Officer O'Hara.
He's taking over my beat.
85
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,798
- How do you do, miss?
- Welcome to our neighborhood.
86
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,030
Gentlemen, what news
have you brought me?
87
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,436
Colonel, we have nothing to report.
88
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,150
No, absolutely nothing to report.
89
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,234
Splendid!
90
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:37,556
Thank you, gentlemen. At ease.
91
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,952
You know the Reverend Dr. Harper
from the church next door?
92
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,350
Hello. This is Officer O'Hara,
the new man on the beat.
93
00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,954
How do you do, sir? It's nice to meet you.
94
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:54,868
The toys are on the chair up here,
by the library door.
95
00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:02,676
Teddy, run upstairs and bring down your
Army and Navy from Aunt Martha's room.
96
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,159
They're all packed.
97
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:10,316
That's splendid work you men do, fixing up
discarded toys for the kids at camp.
98
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:11,475
Charge!
99
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:24,115
It gives us something to do at the station.
You get tired of playing cards.
100
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,993
- So these are the toys?
- How's Mrs. Brophy?
101
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,799
She's better, thank you.
But a little weak, still.
102
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,519
I'll get some beef broth
for you to take to her.
103
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,319
Please don't bother.
You've done so much already.
104
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,829
Stop the nonsense! I won't be a minute.
105
00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:54,431
Gentlemen, if I know what pure kindness
and absolute generosity are...
106
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:57,399
it's because I've known
the Brewster sisters.
107
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,714
Teddy, you promised me
you wouldn't do that anymore.
108
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,792
But I have to call a Cabinet meeting
to get those supplies.
109
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,314
Now don't do that again. Do you hear me?
110
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:15,953
He used to do that at night...
111
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,679
and the neighbors raised Cain.
They're afraid of him.
112
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:22,150
Look, Sarge, I promised I wouldn't swear,
but what the heck...
113
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,074
What's going on here?
114
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,754
- He's quite harmless.
- He thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt.
115
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,638
There's a lot of worse guys
he could think he was.
116
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:33,154
That's right.
117
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,635
I'll make a note.
He's an interesting character.
118
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,438
Isn't it a shame, Father...
119
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:41,959
Isn't it a shame, Reverend, that this nice
family should be hatching a cuckoo?
120
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,754
Well, now, isn't this nice!
121
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,354
- Good afternoon, Miss Brewster.
- How do you do?
122
00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,113
- Good afternoon.
- Reverend, how do you do?
123
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,879
Miss Martha, Officer O'Hara.
He's taking over my duties.
124
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,075
How do you do?
125
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,390
- I'm very glad to know you.
- Thank you.
126
00:09:58,560 --> 00:09:59,993
Martha, you're back.
127
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,117
Here's the broth for Mrs. Brophy.
Be sure it's good and hot.
128
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,509
You bet I will, and thank you very much.
129
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,909
The Army and Navy are ready for action.
130
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,953
Colonel, this is grand.
It'll make a lot of kids happy.
131
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,951
What's this? The Oregon?
132
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,031
Teddy, dear, put it back.
133
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,840
- But the Oregon goes to Australia.
- Now, Teddy...
134
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:19,672
No, it goes to Australia.
135
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:22,832
- These are lovely. Thank you.
- Not at all.
136
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,118
- The children will go crazy.
- Don't mention it.
137
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:29,713
So long, Colonel.
138
00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:32,114
Hey, Sarge.
139
00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:33,754
Yes.
140
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,589
Dismissed!
141
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,188
- Goodbye and thank you.
- Don't mention it.
142
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:43,079
- Careful of the step with the toys.
- Good night.
143
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,549
Young man, let that be a lesson to you.
144
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,119
Goodbye.
145
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,751
- Well, I must be going.
- Charge!
146
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:04,278
Charge the blockhouse!
147
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:12,029
Blockhouse?
148
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,275
The stairs are always San Juan Hill.
149
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:17,389
Bless you!
150
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,909
Have you tried to persuade him
he wasn't Roosevelt?
151
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,197
- Oh, no!
- He's so happy being Teddy Roosevelt.
152
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,676
Do you remember, Martha?
153
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:29,270
Once, a long time ago,
we thought if he'd be George Washington...
154
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:32,079
it might be a change for him,
and we suggested it.
155
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,191
And do you know what happened?
156
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,670
He just stayed under his bed for days
and wouldn't be anybody.
157
00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:42,030
Well, if he's happy, and what's
more important, you're happy...
158
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,720
Our only worry for Teddy
is after we're gone.
159
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,150
Yes, indeed. That is quite a problem.
160
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,708
Mortimer's made all the arrangements
for Teddy...
161
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,837
to go to Happy Dale Sanitarium
after we pass on.
162
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,309
Splendid idea! A very pleasant place.
163
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,671
Dear, sweet Reverend Harper.
164
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,630
You know, Martha, I do believe
he's beginning to see the light.
165
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,551
I'm sure we needn't worry about him.
166
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:12,837
He won't interfere with our plans
for Mortimer and Elaine.
167
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,552
Did you just have tea?
168
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:16,596
Yes.
169
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,079
And dinner's going to be late, too.
170
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,438
So, why?
171
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,152
Good news for you.
172
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,789
You're going to Panama
and dig another lock for the canal.
173
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:33,992
Delighted!
174
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,151
That's bully! Just bully!
175
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,789
I shall prepare at once for the journey.
176
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:41,875
Charge!
177
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,956
Abby! While I was out?
178
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,474
Yes, dear. I just couldn't wait for you.
179
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,791
I didn't know when you'd be back,
and Reverend Harper was coming.
180
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,917
- But all by yourself.
- I got along fine.
181
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,640
- I'll run right downstairs and see.
- No, dear.
182
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,837
There wasn't time. And I was all alone.
183
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:08,830
Well?
184
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:14,074
Just look in the windowseat.
185
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,116
- It's Elaine!
- Hello, darlings.
186
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,911
- But, Elaine!
- What did she mean?
187
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,270
You don't suppose they've gone and...
188
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:40,915
Listen, buddy.
189
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,470
- This old cab has seen osculation but...
- You ain't seen anything yet.
190
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:47,154
- You've got to drive us to the station.
- Take her hat.
191
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,830
Wait a minute. And her brooch.
192
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,713
If you find her hairpins, keep them.
Hold on to that.
193
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:57,988
There they are.
194
00:13:58,560 --> 00:13:59,834
Here's your hat.
195
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:03,148
Just throw it.
I don't like that look in your eyes.
196
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:07,074
- What's the matter with it?
- Father preached about it only last Sunday.
197
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,192
He did? What did he say?
198
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,959
- He was against it.
- But that was only Sunday.
199
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,431
Please! For heaven's sake!
200
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,194
But, Mortimer, right out here
with everyone looking?
201
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,748
Yes, right out here with everyone looking.
202
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,115
Let everyone in Brooklyn over 16 look.
203
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,752
But, Mortimer, you're going to love me
for my mind, too?
204
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:39,438
One thing at a time.
205
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,158
There's that look again!
206
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,317
"There's that look again, Mortimer!"
You better get used to it.
207
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,119
You'll see it often. It
goes just before this.
208
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,036
You know what we're doing?
Wasting time.
209
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,156
I'll go tell my aunts and you tell your...
210
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:58,596
No, don't tell your father.
You'll run his cold into a pneumonia.
211
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,756
I can handle Father. He's a dear.
212
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:03,638
Look, why don't we wire him
from Niagara Falls?
213
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:05,439
Niagara Falls?
214
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:07,996
That's why you stopped at your office.
215
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,469
Yes, certainly!
We're going to go the whole hog.
216
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,994
Niagara Falls!
Everybody ought to go there.
217
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,589
You should've seen my secretary's face.
218
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,558
We've a room on the train,
the bridal suite in the hotel...
219
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,393
and tomorrow morning
we go over the falls in a barrel.
220
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,278
Go on, darling, hurry and pack.
221
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:27,113
I don't have to.
I started packing the day after I met you.
222
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,997
There, you see! You see?
223
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,998
That's what I mean.
That's what I hate about women.
224
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,436
I wonder what Mary's doing now?
225
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:45,032
- The train leaves in an hour, hurry.
- It'll be a few minutes.
226
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,078
- Father may want to pray over me.
- Whistle when you're ready.
227
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,911
When you whistle, open the front door fast.
228
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,356
If you see a tall, dark streak of light,
it's me.
229
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:00,995
What? Now?
230
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,229
No, not now!
231
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,391
Look surprised when he tells us.
232
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,359
Hold on to your bustles.
233
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,829
We're married. Elaine and I are married.
234
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,592
Oh, darling, how wonderful!
235
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,750
Isn't it wonderful? They're married!
236
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:19,310
Don't pretend to be so surprised either,
you two old frauds.
237
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,076
- Can I use the telephone?
- Of course.
238
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,674
Isn't it too, too wonderful?
239
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:27,752
And to think that it happened
right here in this room!
240
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,148
Now, here.
241
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,510
Benson's Florists?
This is Mortimer Brewster.
242
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,273
Did you send those roses
to Mrs. Brewster? Good.
243
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,670
Send four dozen more to drawing room A,
Grand Central Station.
244
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,558
Hurry. And throw in a flock
of orange blossoms.
245
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,114
But before you go,
we can have our celebration.
246
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,350
I'll open a bottle of wine and we'll sing.
247
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,192
And we'll invite a few neighbors in.
248
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:51,829
- And, of course, a wedding cake.
- You won't have time to bake a cake.
249
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,155
We're going to Niagara Falls.
A taxi's waiting.
250
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,549
It's all ready. It's been ready since...
251
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,108
I bet it's been ready
since the first day I met her.
252
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,760
Did everybody know
I was getting married, except me?
253
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,354
We knew you'd find out about it in time.
254
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,350
I've got the two nicest aunts in the world.
255
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,113
Of course, you've got
the nicest nephew in the world, too.
256
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,120
Well, I'll run along
and get everything ready.
257
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:17,638
Oh, dear. I do hope the Reverend
isn't too angry.
258
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,438
You know how your books upset him.
259
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:23,308
I'm going to burn all my books. I'll let
the Reverend light the first match.
260
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,910
Did I leave some notes here
for my new book?
261
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,956
You mean Mind Over Matrimony?
262
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:29,589
Where are they?
263
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,035
- I hid them someplace...
- Come along.
264
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,075
Now you behave.
265
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,549
Let's find them before Elaine sees them.
266
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,996
Hello, Mortimer!
267
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:46,430
- How are you, Mr. President?
- Bully, thank you. Just bully.
268
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,950
- What news have you brought me?
- The country's squarely behind you.
269
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:52,076
Yes, I know. Isn't it wonderful?
270
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:55,158
Well, goodbye. I'm off to Panama.
271
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,238
Goodbye, Mr. President.
272
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,476
A new lock for the canal, you know.
273
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,030
"Oh, tell the news to Mother"
274
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,120
- Oh, dear.
- Find those notes? What's wrong?
275
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,959
There's a baby picture
of your brother Jonathan.
276
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,751
You ought to put that in the fire
with my books. My, what a face!
277
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,355
I remember now.
He'd scare grownups with it.
278
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,715
Just the thought of Jonathan frightens me.
279
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,270
Do you remember how he used to cut
worms in two with his teeth?
280
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:27,155
Jonathan? He's probably in prison
or hanged or something by now.
281
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,671
I saw a play, had a character in it,
reminded me of Jonathan.
282
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:31,715
Really?
283
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:36,199
A honey of a lunatic. One of those
whodunits called Murder Will Out.
284
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:37,316
Oh, dear!
285
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:38,833
Yeah, what a play.
286
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,989
When the curtain goes up,
the first thing you see is a dead body.
287
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:45,679
The next thing...
288
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,109
Hey, mister.
289
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:32,109
- Happy bridegroom!
- Congratulations, darling!
290
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,876
Never mind that now.
291
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,718
Now, listen, darlings.
292
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,390
You know how we've always planned
to send Teddy to Happy Dale?
293
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,869
Yes, dear. That's after we're gone.
294
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,793
Yes, we talked with Reverend Harper
about it.
295
00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:52,635
Teddy's got to go to Happy Dale now.
At once!
296
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:56,599
- He's in the cellar. Get him up here now.
- There's no such hurry as that.
297
00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,634
When Teddy's working on the canal,
you can't get his mind on anything else.
298
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:02,873
Well, look, darlings.
299
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,032
I'm frightfully sorry,
but I've got an awful shock for you.
300
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,476
Teddy's killed a man, darlings!
301
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,469
Nonsense!
302
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,511
There's a body in the windowseat!
303
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,830
Yes, dear. We know.
304
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,030
- You know?
- Of course.
305
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,674
Yes, but it has nothing to do with Teddy.
306
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,353
Now, Mortimer. You just forget about it.
307
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,590
Forget you ever saw the gentleman.
308
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,190
Forget?
309
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,555
We never dreamed you'd peek.
310
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:34,474
What the...
311
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:36,629
Who is he?
312
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,752
He's a Mr. Hoskins. Adam Hoskins.
313
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,950
That's really all I know about him,
except that he's a Methodist.
314
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:46,315
He's a Methodist? Isn't that nice.
315
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,675
That's all you know?
What's he doing here?
316
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,751
- What happened to him?
- He died.
317
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,357
Aunt Martha, men just don't get
into windowseats and die.
318
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,233
No, dear. He died first.
319
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,158
Wait! Stop all this.
320
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,198
Now look, how did he die?
321
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,880
Mortimer, don't be so inquisitive.
322
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:10,070
The gentleman died because he drank
some wine with poison in it.
323
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,236
How did the poison get in the wine?
324
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,754
We put it in wine
because it's less noticeable.
325
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,274
When it's in tea, it has a distinct odor.
326
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:21,634
You mean you...
327
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,079
You put it in the wine?
328
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,516
Yes. And I put Mr. Hoskins
in the windowseat...
329
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,875
because Reverend Harper was coming.
330
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:34,398
Look at me, darling.
331
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,915
You knew what you'd done and didn't want
Reverend Harper to see the body?
332
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:43,072
Well, not at tea.
That wouldn't have been very nice.
333
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,159
It's first-degree.
334
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:50,789
Now, Mortimer, you know all about it
and just forget about it.
335
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:55,039
I do think that Martha and I have the right
to our own little secrets.
336
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:02,115
Abby, while I was out I dropped in
on Mrs. Schultz. She's much better.
337
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,555
But she wants us to take Junior
to the movies again.
338
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:06,756
We must do that, tomorrow or next day.
339
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,798
Yes, but this time we'll go
where we want to go.
340
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:14,079
Junior's not going to drag me
into another one of those scary pictures.
341
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:18,599
They ought not to be allowed
to make pictures just to frighten people.
342
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:38,875
Operator?
343
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,111
Can you hear my voice?
344
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,069
You can?
345
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:44,714
Are you sure?
346
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,114
Then I must be here.
347
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,958
The dears. Isn't Halloween
a wonderful time for them?
348
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,634
Yes, it is. They have so much fun.
349
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,395
Now, Mortimer, don't be so impatient.
350
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,875
- We'll let you lick the bowl.
- Lick the bowl?
351
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,428
I don't want to.
I want to know what we're going to do!
352
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,158
We're going to celebrate.
353
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,999
Celebrate? There's a body
in the windowseat!
354
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:34,877
Yes, dear. Mr. Hoskins.
355
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:38,237
I know what his name is. I want to know
what we're going to do.
356
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,312
- We can't turn you over to the police.
- Stop worrying about it.
357
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,511
We told you to forget the whole thing.
358
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:47,832
Forget? Can't I make you realize
that something has to be done?
359
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,751
Now, Mortimer, you behave.
360
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,872
You're too old
to be flying off the handle like this.
361
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,915
- But Mr. Hodgekiss...
- Hoskins, dear.
362
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,468
Whatever his name is,
you can't leave him in there.
363
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,073
We don't intend to, dear.
364
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,197
Teddy's down in the cellar now,
digging the lock.
365
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,235
You're going to bury
Mr. Hodgekiss in the cellar?
366
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,914
Yes, dear.
That's what we did with the others.
367
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,110
Look, here, Aunt Martha. You can't...
368
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,553
- Others?
- The other gentlemen.
369
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,714
When you say "others,"
do you mean "others"?
370
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,634
- More than one "others"?
- Yes, dear.
371
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,752
Let me see now. This is
11, isn't it, Abby?
372
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,030
No, dear. This makes 12.
373
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,989
Abby, dear, I think you're wrong.
This one is only 11.
374
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,670
No, dear, because I remember
when Mr. Hoskins first came in...
375
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,797
it occurred to me
that he'd make just an even dozen.
376
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:49,519
But, Abby, dear, I really don't think
you should count the first one.
377
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,757
I was counting the first one,
and that makes it 12.
378
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:54,149
It does?
379
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,752
Well, she's probably right.
Abby usually is.
380
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,831
I get them mixed up sometimes.
381
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:02,389
Makes it 12.
382
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:10,389
Hello.
383
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,319
Whatever is the matter
with Mortimer today?
384
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:18,277
Why, Abby,
what do you think happened to him?
385
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:20,116
Hello?
386
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,113
Not now. For heaven's sake,
keep your shirt on!
387
00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:32,998
Elaine, I didn't mean...
388
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,431
Now, let's see. Where were we?
389
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:39,839
Twelve. Twelve!
390
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:41,269
Yes, dear.
391
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:43,999
Abby thinks we should count the first one.
392
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,355
Never mind about that. Just sit down.
393
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,396
Tell me, who was the first one?
394
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,154
Mr. Midgely. He was a Baptist.
395
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,470
He was such a lonely, old gentleman.
396
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,110
All his kith and kin were dead.
397
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,156
We felt so sorry for him.
398
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,312
And then, when his heart attack came...
399
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:04,676
and he sat there dead in that chair...
400
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:08,550
looking so peaceful. Remember, Martha?
401
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,869
We made up our minds, then and there...
402
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,918
that if we could help
other lonely, old men...
403
00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:17,190
to find that same peace...
404
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:18,589
we would.
405
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:20,908
Why, you poor...
406
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:23,759
You mean, he dropped dead
right in this chair?
407
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,911
And then, you see,
Teddy came up from digging in Panama...
408
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:33,237
and he thought Mr. Midgely
was a yellow-fever victim.
409
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:36,438
And that meant
he had to be buried immediately.
410
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,752
So, we all took him down to Panama...
411
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:43,759
and put him in the lock
and gave him a decent Christian burial.
412
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:48,392
There, now you see? That's why
we told you not to bother about it...
413
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,233
because we know exactly
what's to be done.
414
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:55,474
Wait a minute!
415
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,154
Come here, darling.
What about the others?
416
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,989
All 12 of them didn't walk in here
and drop dead.
417
00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:02,998
No, dear. Of course not!
418
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:04,229
Well, so...
419
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,159
- Mortimer.
- What?
420
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,198
Do you remember those jars of poison
on the shelves...
421
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,555
in Grandfather's laboratory
all these years?
422
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,438
You know your Aunt Martha's knack
for mixing things.
423
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,829
You've eaten enough of her piccalilli.
424
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,437
Well, dear, for a gallon
of elderberry wine...
425
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,114
I take one teaspoonful of arsenic...
426
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,509
then add half a
teaspoonful of strychnine.
427
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:36,229
And then, just a pinch of cyanide.
428
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,912
Should have quite a kick.
429
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,997
As a matter of fact,
one of our gentlemen found time to say:
430
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:46,274
"How delicious!"
431
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:48,669
He did? Well, wasn't that nice of him?
432
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,758
Abby, we mustn't be standing here
gossiping all night.
433
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:53,353
We must get that cake frosted.
434
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,318
Don't worry about the cake.
I couldn't eat a thing.
435
00:27:56,600 --> 00:28:00,388
You newlyweds! A sip of wine
will give you an appetite.
436
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,313
That'd be nice, darling, a sip of...
A sip of wine!
437
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:04,669
Wine!
438
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,840
I'm beginning to think
the cat's in on this.
439
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:32,479
He's wonderful. Happy as a lark.
Singing away, digging locks.
440
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,994
Got him working on a yellow-fever victim.
441
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,232
I can see the headlines now:
442
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,630
"Murder lncorporator Rides Again"
right across the front page.
443
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:42,588
Let me see...
444
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,959
Teddy! Of course.
Everybody knows he's crazy.
445
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,751
Let me see. Who can I call up?
Dewey, La Guardia, Winchell?
446
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,478
No, Winchell's no good.
447
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:53,514
Old Judge Cullman!
448
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,477
I wonder if I got his number.
449
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,237
What am I doing with tickets?
450
00:28:58,440 --> 00:28:59,589
Information.
451
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:06,275
Information?
452
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:09,830
Get me the number of Judge Cullman
on North Shore Road, Brooklyn.
453
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:11,194
Yeah, would you call me back?
454
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:16,870
Wouldn't it be marvelous
if he wasn't there?
455
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:19,674
Hey, you!
456
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,594
Thought you were tall,
dark streak of light.
457
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:25,393
What are you doing here?
458
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,193
What am I doing here?
Didn't you hear me whistle?
459
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:29,679
Whistle? Oh, yes.
460
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,479
I heard you whistle.
461
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:33,752
- How do I look?
- You look fine.
462
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,229
- Run on home. I'll call you up tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
463
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:39,118
You know I always call you up
every day or two.
464
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,636
You and your gags! Where's your hat?
The bags are in the taxi.
465
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,320
- Come on!
- I'm so sorry. Something's happened.
466
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:47,278
What'd you do, lose your nerve?
467
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,828
Where's that look
I was going to see so often?
468
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,309
Stop! Don't whistle in my ear, please.
469
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,472
What's wrong? Look at your hair.
470
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,630
What color is it? Has it turned?
471
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,992
Darling, what's the matter?
What happened?
472
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:05,272
Those flowers are so beautiful.
473
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:08,352
If I could only tell you, Elaine.
You smell so nice.
474
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:10,628
You better go home!
475
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,996
- But, darling, we were married today.
- Go to bed, get some rest!
476
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:14,956
Rest?
477
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:18,917
Who? Judge Cullman?
478
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,753
This is Mortimer Brewster. I'll tell you
why I called you. It's about Teddy.
479
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,876
I've got to come over
and see you right away.
480
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:27,837
It won't wait until tomorrow, Judge.
481
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:31,071
It's very, very important.
We've got to do something immediately.
482
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,116
But it's a matter of life and... Elaine!
483
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,029
Will you get out of here?
484
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:38,873
What on earth is going on here?
I don't know where I stand!
485
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,633
- Anywhere, but don't stand there!
- But Niagara Falls!
486
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:44,320
- If it does, we'll let it!
- Wait a minute! Listen.
487
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,470
You can't marry me
and then throw me out!
488
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:50,030
I'm not throwing you out of the house!
Will you get out of here?
489
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,237
I'm sorry, Judge. A thing happened.
490
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,272
Judge, about Teddy, he's...
491
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:01,559
It's his bugle blowing.
492
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,598
The police want to throw
him into a state institution.
493
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:07,473
How do you like that?
494
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:10,518
- I read an ad here about a room to rent.
- Shut up!
495
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,989
If you sign the papers and Teddy commits
himself, we can get him to Happy Dale.
496
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:22,752
It's a wonderful place.
497
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:23,829
You will?
498
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,554
Fine! I'll be over
as soon as I've made another call.
499
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,318
Doorbell's ringing, dear.
500
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:36,552
How do you do? Come in.
501
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,069
I understand you've got a room to rent.
502
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:40,792
Do step in.
503
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:44,231
- Are you the lady of the house?
- Yes, I'm Miss Brewster.
504
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,550
Operator? Give me long distance, please.
505
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,518
And this is my sister.
Another Miss Brewster.
506
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,831
- My name's Gibbs.
- Well, do sit down.
507
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:55,958
I'm sorry,
we're just setting the table for dinner.
508
00:31:56,640 --> 00:32:00,349
Now, this would be
a nice comfortable chair.
509
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:04,868
Long distance? I want the Happy Dale
Sanitarium, Happy Dale, New York.
510
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,794
- Is Brooklyn your home?
- I live in a hotel. Don't like it.
511
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:12,515
Are your family Brooklyn people?
512
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,876
- Haven't got any family.
- All alone in the world?
513
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,038
- Well, Martha...
- No, Happy Dale.
514
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,438
Well, you've come to just the right house.
515
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,033
- Do sit down.
- Dale.
516
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,476
"D" like in "dig," when you dig a lock.
517
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:30,518
That's right.
"A" like in "arsenic." Got that?
518
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,991
Is there always this much noise?
519
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:34,798
He doesn't live with us.
520
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,110
I can see the headlines now. Please.
521
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,358
I'd like to see the room.
I don't think I'll like it.
522
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:42,873
The room's upstairs.
523
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:46,191
Won't you try a glass of our wine
before we start up?
524
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:47,679
Never touch it.
525
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:51,998
Well, we make this ourselves.
It's elderberry wine.
526
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:54,555
Elderberry?
527
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,873
I haven't tasted elderberry wine
since I was a boy.
528
00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:01,279
- Thank you.
- Operator!
529
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,750
I don't want the Happy Dale Laundry!
I want the Happy Dale Sanitarium!
530
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:08,310
Sanitarium! Sanitarium!
Yes, like a broken record!
531
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:13,036
- Have your own elderberry bushes?
- No, but the cemetery's full of them.
532
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:15,278
Well, skoal.
533
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,119
Hello, operator! What's taking so long?
534
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:20,668
It's only across the river!
I could swim it faster!
535
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:21,590
Yes!
536
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:23,674
Hello! Hell...
537
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:25,070
What...
538
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:26,593
What, they're busy?
539
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:27,795
Busy?
540
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:29,958
They're busy and you're dizzy!
541
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:33,077
No, I'm not drunk, madam,
but you've given me an idea!
542
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,230
Darling, I'm nervous. Don't do that.
543
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:44,354
Not that.
544
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:57,076
Get out of here! Do you want
to be poisoned, murdered, killed?
545
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:02,708
They're nuts!
546
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:04,913
You're telling me!
547
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:15,313
Look, you can't do things like that!
548
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:24,878
Now I don't know
how I can explain this to you...
549
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:30,189
but it's not only against the law,
it's wrong.
550
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,072
Oh, piffle!
551
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:34,277
It's not a nice thing to do.
552
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:38,271
People wouldn't understand.
He wouldn't understand.
553
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:42,432
What I mean is...
554
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,678
This is developing into a very bad habit!
555
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,391
Who? Happy Dale Sanitarium?
556
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:58,312
That's amazing, operator.
557
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,354
Happy Dale?
Let me talk to Mr. Witherspoon, please.
558
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,078
Mr. Witherspoon speaking.
559
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,069
How do you do, Mr. Brewster?
How are you?
560
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,751
Mr. Witherspoon, do you...
I'm fine, thanks. How are you?
561
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:15,229
Do you remember our conversation about
committing my brother to Happy Dale?
562
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:18,073
You do? Well, we want
to commit him there immediately.
563
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:19,190
Oh, dear.
564
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:21,038
Oh, dear. That's too bad.
565
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,957
Well, I'd hoped we wouldn't have him
for some time yet.
566
00:35:25,240 --> 00:35:28,152
We have several Theodore Roosevelts
at the moment...
567
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:30,316
and it would lead to trouble.
568
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,711
Well, now, if he thought that...
569
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:37,389
Mr. Brewster, we're a bit short
of Napoleons at present.
570
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:39,591
Bonaparte. And if...
571
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:43,398
Oh, I see. Of course.
572
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,399
Well, if your mind is made up. Yes.
573
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:48,593
Have you had the papers drawn up?
574
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:51,478
No, but I'll do it now
and call you as soon as I have them.
575
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,479
Thank you, Mr... What?
576
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,956
All right. Thank you, Mr. Witherspoon.
577
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,230
Another Roosevelt. Oh, dear.
578
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:04,196
Now listen, I'm going to Judge Cullman's,
but I want you to promise me something.
579
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:06,748
Well, we'd have to know what it was first.
580
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:08,991
I love you both very much.
581
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,395
You know I'd do anything for you,
don't you?
582
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:12,549
Yes, dear.
583
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,228
I want you to do one thing for me,
like good girls.
584
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:16,719
What do you want us to do?
585
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,837
Don't do anything.
I mean, don't do anything!
586
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,272
Don't let anyone in the house
and leave Mr. Whosit where he is.
587
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,875
Get off that thing. I can't talk to you...
I can't concentrate.
588
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,878
I wouldn't want anything
in the world to happen to you.
589
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:32,315
What on earth could happen to us?
590
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:33,674
Well, darling...
591
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:36,439
Anyway, you'll do that little thing for me,
won't you?
592
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:38,677
Where's my hat? There it is.
593
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:40,398
- But, Mortimer.
- What?
594
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,836
We were planning to hold services
before dinner.
595
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:47,995
- Couldn't that wait until I get back?
- You could join us in the hymns!
596
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:51,197
Yes, darling, I'll sing with you,
I'll dance with you, anything.
597
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,877
Remember, don't let anybody in the house
until I get back.
598
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:56,109
You promise?
599
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:57,315
Good.
600
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:00,435
What?
601
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,032
Stop that. What is it?
602
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:05,713
Mr. Hoskins' hat!
603
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:14,033
- Do you still want me to wait?
- Yes! Call me a cab!
604
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:17,829
- Hey, cab! Here you are.
- Don't open it. I'll sit with you!
605
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:21,396
Yeah, that's right.
I can go faster that way. Sure.
606
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,631
Wait a minute! What am I doing?
607
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:31,435
Fancy getting nice Mr. Hoskins' hat
all mussed up.
608
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,520
Shame! Such a nice hat.
609
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:39,797
You know, Mortimer didn't seem
to be quite himself today.
610
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:42,915
Oh, well.
611
00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:53,109
What were you saying about Mortimer?
612
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,998
I think I understand why
he seemed so upset.
613
00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:57,070
Why?
614
00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,477
He's just been married.
615
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,478
I believe that always makes
a man a little nervous.
616
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:05,198
Yes. The poor dears.
617
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:09,956
I'm so happy for Elaine.
618
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:11,750
Abby!
619
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:15,999
If Mortimer's coming back for the services,
we'll need another hymnal.
620
00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:17,992
There's one up in my room.
621
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:21,998
I'll go, dear.
622
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:26,432
We promised Mortimer
we wouldn't let anyone come in.
623
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:34,309
It's two men,
and I've never seen them before.
624
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:36,277
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
625
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,116
- Let me look.
- You look.
626
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:45,798
- Do you recognize them?
- No, they're strangers to me.
627
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,160
We'll just have to pretend
we're not at home.
628
00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:22,593
Come in, doctor.
629
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:28,557
This is the home of my youth.
630
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:32,877
As a boy, I couldn't wait to escape
from this house.
631
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,514
Now I'm glad to escape back into it.
632
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:39,910
Yes, Johnny, it's a good hideout.
633
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:43,591
The family must still live here.
634
00:39:46,240 --> 00:39:49,755
I hope there's a fatted calf
awaiting the return of the prodigal.
635
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,234
A fatted calf?
636
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,071
Johnny, I'm so hungry.
637
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:56,630
Look, Johnny. Drink.
638
00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,351
As if we were expected.
639
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:00,789
A good omen.
640
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:02,918
Who are you?
641
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:04,918
What are you doing here?
642
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,989
Aunt Abby. Aunt Martha.
643
00:40:10,720 --> 00:40:11,994
It's Jonathan.
644
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:14,113
You get out of here!
645
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,512
I'm Jonathan, you know.
646
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:18,792
Your nephew, Jonathan.
647
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,228
No, you're not.
648
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:23,397
You're nothing like Jonathan,
so don't pretend you are.
649
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:25,198
You just get out of here.
650
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:28,272
I see you're still wearing
the lovely garnet ring...
651
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,868
that Grandma Brewster
bought in England.
652
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,553
And you, Aunt Martha,
still the high collar...
653
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:38,110
to hide the scar
where Grandfather's acid burned you.
654
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:41,713
Why, his voice is like Jonathan's.
655
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,434
Have you been in an accident?
656
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:47,873
My face.
657
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,799
Dr. Einstein is responsible for that.
658
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,718
He's a plastic surgeon.
659
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,589
But I've seen that face before.
660
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:02,431
Do you remember when we took
the little Schultz boy to the movies...
661
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,112
and I was so frightened?
662
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:05,553
It was that face.
663
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:10,911
Take it easy, Johnny. Take it easy.
664
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:14,197
Don't worry. The last five years,
I give him three different faces.
665
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:16,350
I give him another one right away.
666
00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:20,030
That last face. I saw that picture, too...
667
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:24,512
just before I operated.
I was intoxicated.
668
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,160
You see, doctor, what you've done to me?
669
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,472
- Even my own family think I'm...
- Johnny, Johnny!
670
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:34,275
You are home in this lovely house.
671
00:41:34,720 --> 00:41:35,914
You know...
672
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,914
how many times he tells me...
673
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:43,596
about Brooklyn, about this house
and about his aunts...
674
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:45,238
he loves so much?
675
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:46,709
They know you.
676
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:48,518
Please tell him so.
677
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,032
Jonathan...
678
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:54,958
it's been a long time.
679
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:57,674
Bless you. It's good to be home again.
680
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:05,559
We mustn't let what's on the stove
boil over.
681
00:42:07,240 --> 00:42:09,800
If you'll excuse us for a moment, Jonathan.
682
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:13,396
Unless you're in a hurry to go somewhere.
683
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:33,951
Where do we go from here?
684
00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:37,995
You know, we got to think fast.
685
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:42,952
The police got pictures of that face.
I got to operate on you right away.
686
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,078
We got to find someplace.
687
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:49,438
We got to find someplace
for Mr. Spenalzo, too.
688
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:52,316
Don't waste any worry on that rat.
689
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:55,478
But we got a hot stiff on our hands.
690
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,598
Forget Mr. Spenalzo.
691
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:01,117
But, Johnny, we can't leave
a dead body in the rumble seat.
692
00:43:01,720 --> 00:43:03,472
You shouldn't have killed him.
693
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:06,870
Just because he knows something
about us, what happens?
694
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:12,792
We come to him for help
and he tries to shake us down.
695
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:19,713
Besides, he said I looked
like Boris Karloff.
696
00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:24,392
That's your work, doctor.
697
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:25,879
You did that to me.
698
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:27,871
Please, Johnny, take it easy.
699
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:31,231
We'll find some place
and I'll fix you up right away.
700
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:33,880
Yes, tonight, but I have to eat first.
701
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:37,078
This time, I want the face
of an absolute nonentity.
702
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:40,557
Yes. I know exactly what I'm going to do.
703
00:43:40,720 --> 00:43:44,030
You see, I'm going to take this piece here
and lift it up...
704
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:46,190
Be careful about the stitches this time.
705
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:47,952
You leave that up to me.
706
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:49,553
I'll give you nice ears and...
707
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:52,359
- You were careless last time.
- And new stitches.
708
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,677
And on the eyes I'll do a Schmidt.
That's my specialty.
709
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:59,031
- I take it together like this...
- Leave the eyes alone.
710
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:00,792
Leave the nose alone.
711
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:02,473
Poor Teddy.
712
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,116
I imagine it's for the best.
713
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:10,916
"Ours not to reason why, ours but to do... "
714
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:13,508
Sign right here, please, Judge. Excuse me.
715
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:15,119
Right there.
716
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:19,108
Sometimes I think, with the world
in its present chaotic state...
717
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:23,034
Yes, we'd all be better off at Happy Dale.
I sign here as next of kin, don't I?
718
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:26,915
Only last week I created
a mild sensation...
719
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,912
at the Bar Association, when I said...
720
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:32,076
Goodbye. Good luck, Judge. Thank you.
721
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:36,119
Tell Martha and Abby I'll be over this week.
I've been feeling rather lonely.
722
00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:39,073
No! Never tell them
you've been lonely. Never!
723
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,549
- Why, I don't...
- Judge!
724
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:44,470
Tell me, are you a drinking man?
725
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:47,433
Why, no. I never indulge.
726
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,471
Good! Then you'll live longer.
727
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:51,676
Of course a little wine now...
728
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:53,910
No! For heaven's sake, no wine!
729
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:58,994
I may be committing the wrong Brewster.
730
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:04,470
Well, I'm sure you both want to get
to wherever you're going.
731
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:08,873
My dear, sweet aunties,
I'm so full of your delicious dinner...
732
00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:12,755
- ...I'm unable to move a muscle.
- Yes, it's nice here.
733
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:14,359
I found it!
734
00:45:16,720 --> 00:45:18,233
Gentlemen, be seated.
735
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:24,232
Here it is, gentlemen.
The story of my life, my biography.
736
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,392
Here's the picture I was telling you about.
Here we both are.
737
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,074
President Roosevelt and General Goethals
at Culebra Cut.
738
00:45:30,240 --> 00:45:32,356
That's me, General, and that's you.
739
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:35,356
My, how I've changed!
740
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:40,272
That picture hasn't been taken yet.
We haven't started work on Culebra Cut.
741
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:41,879
We're still digging locks.
742
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:45,714
And now, General, we will both go
to Panama and inspect the new lock.
743
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:47,870
No, Teddy. Not to Panama.
744
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:51,839
Maybe some other time, Mr. President.
Panama is a long ways off.
745
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:54,673
- Nonsense! It's just down in the cellar.
- The cellar?
746
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:58,431
We let him dig the Panama Canal
in the cellar.
747
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,071
- General Goethals?
- Yes, sir.
748
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:04,238
As President of the US, Commander
in Chief of the Army and Navy...
749
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,276
and the man who gave you this job...
750
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:09,909
I demand that you accompany me
on the inspection of the new lock.
751
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,309
I think it's time for you to go to bed.
752
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:16,076
I beg your pardon. Who are you?
753
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:18,071
I'm Woodrow Wilson. Go to bed.
754
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:23,431
No, you're not Wilson.
But your face is familiar.
755
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:28,153
You're not anyone I know now. Perhaps
later, on my hunting trip to Africa.
756
00:46:28,240 --> 00:46:30,993
You look like someone
I might meet in the jungle.
757
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:34,757
I think, perhaps,
you had better go to bed, Teddy.
758
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:37,718
He and his friend want to get back
to their hotel.
759
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,197
General Goethals, inspect the canal.
760
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:43,714
All right, Mr. President, we go to Panama.
761
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:46,553
Bully, bully! Follow me, General.
762
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:51,871
It's down south, you know.
763
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:56,519
Well, bon voyage!
764
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:03,710
I must correct your misapprehension.
765
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:06,637
You talked of our hotel.
766
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:10,275
We have no hotel. We came here directly.
767
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:14,639
This is not your home,
and I'm afraid you can't stay here.
768
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:22,589
Dr. Einstein and I need a place to sleep.
769
00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:26,192
You remember that, as a boy,
I could be disagreeable.
770
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:30,271
It would not be pleasant
for any of us if...
771
00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:33,113
I don't have to go into details, do I?
772
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:36,148
Perhaps we'd better let them
stay here tonight.
773
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:39,758
Come here. Quick.
774
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:40,909
I forgot to tell you...
775
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:45,198
Doctor and I are turning Grandfather's
laboratory into an operating room.
776
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:47,396
We expect to be very busy.
777
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,834
- Down here, what do you think I find?
- What?
778
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:55,717
The Panama Canal.
779
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:58,470
And it just fits Mr. Spenalzo.
780
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:02,636
See the hole he's digging.
Four feet wide, six feet long.
781
00:48:02,720 --> 00:48:04,073
He just fits!
782
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:07,510
You'd think he knew
we were bringing Mr. Spenalzo along.
783
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:09,438
That's hospitality.
784
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:11,757
Rather a good joke on my aunts.
785
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:15,116
They're living in a house
with a body buried in the cellar.
786
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:19,591
How do we get him in here?
787
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:23,793
Yes, we can't just walk
Mr. Spenalzo in through the door.
788
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:28,391
We'll get the car and after they're in bed,
we'll bring him in through the window.
789
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:29,356
Bed.
790
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:35,156
We're moving the car behind the house.
You'd better get to bed.
791
00:48:35,240 --> 00:48:37,834
The car is all right where it is
until morning.
792
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:41,879
I don't want to leave it in the street.
That might be against the law.
793
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:49,277
What are we going to do?
794
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:53,393
We're not going to let them spend
more than one night in this house.
795
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,352
What would the neighbors think?
796
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:58,910
People coming in here with one face
and going out with another.
797
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:02,274
What are we going to do
about Mr. Hoskins?
798
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:04,432
Mr. Hoskins!
799
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,598
It can't be very comfortable
for him in there.
800
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,952
And he's been so patient, the poor dear.
801
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:16,393
I think Teddy had better take
Mr. Hoskins downstairs right away.
802
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:21,598
General Goethals was very pleased.
He said the canal was just the right size.
803
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:26,835
Teddy, there's been
another yellow-fever victim.
804
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:30,510
Dear me!
This will be a shock to the General.
805
00:49:31,240 --> 00:49:33,993
No, we must keep it a secret.
806
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:36,674
A state secret?
807
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:38,631
Yes, a state secret.
808
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:39,829
Promise?
809
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:43,313
You have the word of the President
of the United States.
810
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:46,870
Cross my heart and hope to die.
Now, let's see.
811
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:49,909
How are we going to keep it a secret?
812
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:53,556
Teddy, I think you'd better get back down
into the cellar.
813
00:49:53,720 --> 00:49:54,869
And then...
814
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:58,629
when I turn out the lights,
when everything's dark here...
815
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:01,639
you come up and take
the poor man down to the canal.
816
00:50:01,720 --> 00:50:02,869
Now get along.
817
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:05,998
And we'll come down later
and hold services.
818
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,309
- Where is the poor devil?
- Ln the windowseat.
819
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:10,799
It seems to be spreading.
820
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:13,440
We've never had yellow fever there before.
821
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:20,518
I've never even seen Mr. Hoskins!
822
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:23,956
My goodness! That's right, you were out.
823
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:28,151
You just come right along
and see him now.
824
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:33,716
You know, he's really very nice looking,
considering that he's a Methodist.
825
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:52,195
We're bringing the luggage through here.
826
00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:02,029
Your room is waiting for you.
You can go right up.
827
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:06,674
I'm afraid we don't keep Brooklyn hours.
You two run along to bed.
828
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:09,957
But you must be very tired. Both of you.
829
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:14,113
- And we don't go to bed this early.
- It's time I came home to take care of you.
830
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:16,191
Take the bags upstairs.
831
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,159
For the instruments, I'll come back later.
832
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:20,714
Good night.
833
00:51:21,240 --> 00:51:22,673
Now, we'll all go to bed.
834
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:26,469
I'll wait until you're up
and then turn out the lights.
835
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:28,957
Run along, Aunt Martha.
836
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:32,390
Just off the laboratory, Doctor.
837
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:42,308
- All right, Aunt Abby.
- I'll be right up.
838
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:44,710
Now! Turn out the lights.
839
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:16,679
Aunt Abby.
840
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:18,028
He's all right, Johnny.
841
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:30,118
I'll open the window.
You go round and hand him through.
842
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:32,595
But he's too heavy for me.
843
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:37,470
You go outside and push,
and I'll stay here and pull.
844
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:40,399
And then together we take him
down to Panama.
845
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:44,469
All right. We must be quick.
I'll take a look around outside the house.
846
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,148
When I tap on the glass,
you open the window.
847
00:54:47,240 --> 00:54:48,195
Yeah.
848
00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:57,472
It's dark in here.
849
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:11,555
Where am I?
850
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:13,715
Here I am.
851
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:17,440
Who left this open?
852
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:25,478
Okay, wait a minute. Hand him over.
853
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:28,240
Now I have him. Allez, up!
854
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:33,394
Now, wait a minute.
You lost a leg somewhere.
855
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:37,717
Help me. He's so heavy.
856
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:41,071
Now I have him. Now I got him.
857
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:45,197
- Be careful.
- But his shoe came off.
858
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:48,998
Help me. He's so heavy.
859
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:51,316
Now I've got him!
860
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:56,037
Johnny, somebody's at the door.
Go open, quick.
861
00:55:56,240 --> 00:55:59,312
I'll manage Spenalzo. Go, quick!
862
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:13,389
Mortimer!
863
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:19,149
Aunt Abby!
864
00:56:21,040 --> 00:56:22,234
Aunt Martha!
865
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:28,435
Who is it?
866
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:29,953
Is that you, Teddy?
867
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:30,995
Who are you?
868
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:33,310
I'm Elaine Harper. I live next door.
869
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:35,198
What are you doing here?
870
00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:37,589
I came here to see my husband, Mortimer.
871
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:39,830
Why did you say your name was Harper?
872
00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:41,831
It is Harper. I mean, it's Brewster.
873
00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:44,514
I'm not very used to it.
I'm a brand-new Brewster.
874
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:45,555
Doctor!
875
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:48,631
It's all right. It's okay.
876
00:56:57,880 --> 00:57:00,348
Maybe you'd better explain
what you're doing here.
877
00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:02,396
We happen to live here.
878
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:04,159
You don't live here.
879
00:57:04,240 --> 00:57:06,834
I'm in this house every day,
I've never seen you before.
880
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:09,992
Where are Martha and Abby?
What have you done to them?
881
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:13,469
Perhaps we'd better introduce ourselves.
882
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:16,394
May I present Dr. Einstein?
883
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:18,796
Dr. Einstein?
884
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:21,349
A surgeon of great distinction.
885
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:25,710
And something of a magician.
886
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:30,149
- I suppose you'll tell me you're Boris...
- I am Jonathan Brewster.
887
00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:34,789
- You're Jonathan.
- You've heard of me?
888
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:37,872
- Yes, they talk about you.
- What do they say about me?
889
00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:41,316
Just that there's another brother
named Jonathan, that's all.
890
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:45,037
That explains everything.
Now that I know who you are...
891
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:48,636
I'll just be running along
if you'll kindly unlock the door.
892
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:04,550
"That explains everything."
Just what do you mean by that?
893
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:07,148
Why do you come here
at this time of night?
894
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:10,955
I just thought I saw Mortimer drive up.
I suppose it was you.
895
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:16,389
You thought you saw someone drive up?
896
00:58:16,760 --> 00:58:19,513
Yes. Weren't you just outside?
Isn't that your car?
897
00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:21,989
- You saw someone at the car?
- Yes.
898
00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:24,839
- What else did you see?
- Just that, that's all!
899
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:27,793
I see. Is that why you came over here?
900
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:31,316
No, I came to see Mortimer.
But if he's not home, I'll run...
901
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:33,396
- You've given two names.
- You're hurting me!
902
00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:35,550
I think she's dangerous.
903
00:58:35,680 --> 00:58:38,035
No visitors. It's going to be
a private funeral.
904
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:45,190
- Tell these men who I am!
- That's my daughter, Alice.
905
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:46,316
No!
906
00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:50,359
Don't be a tomboy.
Don't play rough with the gentlemen.
907
00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:51,429
Charge!
908
00:59:00,452 --> 00:59:01,931
Doctor, the cellar.
909
00:59:03,692 --> 00:59:05,410
Let go of me!
910
00:59:06,132 --> 00:59:07,804
Let go of me!
911
00:59:08,852 --> 00:59:11,047
What's the matter?
What's happening down there?
912
00:59:14,772 --> 00:59:17,286
What's the matter?
What are you doing there?
913
00:59:17,652 --> 00:59:20,962
We caught a burglar, a sneak thief.
Go back to your room.
914
00:59:21,132 --> 00:59:24,761
- We'll call the police.
- I'll handle this. Go back to your room.
915
00:59:25,452 --> 00:59:26,680
Do you hear me?
916
00:59:29,372 --> 00:59:30,851
Don't answer that.
917
00:59:31,852 --> 00:59:33,285
Don't answer that!
918
00:59:46,212 --> 00:59:50,000
Where's Teddy? Is he upstairs?
Never mind that now, darling.
919
00:59:50,092 --> 00:59:52,731
What are you doing
with your best clothes on?
920
00:59:53,252 --> 00:59:55,322
Holy... What's that?
921
00:59:57,412 --> 00:59:59,972
What's that thing that looks like
a cigar-store dummy?
922
01:00:00,052 --> 01:00:04,489
- It's your brother and Dr. Einstein.
- Didn't I tell you not to let anybody in?
923
01:00:04,572 --> 01:00:07,723
- Who did you say it was?
- It's your brother, Jonathan!
924
01:00:12,492 --> 01:00:15,325
- I've come back home, Mortimer.
- What?
925
01:00:15,692 --> 01:00:17,523
I've come back home, Mortimer.
926
01:00:17,612 --> 01:00:20,729
"I've come back home, Mortimer."
Listen, it talks!
927
01:00:22,132 --> 01:00:23,724
Yes, I talk.
928
01:00:24,172 --> 01:00:28,370
Mortimer, have you forgotten
the things I used to do to you...
929
01:00:28,732 --> 01:00:30,802
when you were tied to the bedpost?
930
01:00:30,892 --> 01:00:34,282
The needles under your fingernails.
931
01:00:34,492 --> 01:00:36,403
- Mortimer, he...
- Wait a minute.
932
01:00:44,132 --> 01:00:45,724
Holy mackerel!
933
01:00:45,932 --> 01:00:46,967
It is Jonathan!
934
01:00:47,052 --> 01:00:48,849
I'm glad you remember, Mortimer.
935
01:00:50,452 --> 01:00:51,851
Yeah, I remember.
936
01:00:52,292 --> 01:00:53,930
How could I forget you?
937
01:00:54,372 --> 01:00:56,647
Where'd you get that face? Hollywood?
938
01:00:57,292 --> 01:01:01,570
Don't you two boys start quarreling
the minute you've seen each other.
939
01:01:01,652 --> 01:01:04,928
We invited Jonathan
and Dr. Einstein to stay.
940
01:01:05,372 --> 01:01:07,363
- What?
- Just for tonight.
941
01:01:07,492 --> 01:01:09,369
No, I'm staying here tonight.
942
01:01:09,492 --> 01:01:12,052
- In fact, I'm staying here from now on.
- What about me?
943
01:01:12,132 --> 01:01:14,088
There's no room for anybody else here.
944
01:01:14,172 --> 01:01:15,571
Please, just a moment.
945
01:01:15,652 --> 01:01:17,927
So take that little squirt and beat it!
946
01:01:18,132 --> 01:01:20,771
Where's Teddy?
I've got to see him right away.
947
01:01:21,932 --> 01:01:23,604
We don't take up much room.
948
01:01:23,692 --> 01:01:26,889
Johnny can sleep on the sofa,
and I'll sleep on the windowseat.
949
01:01:26,972 --> 01:01:28,246
Nothing to...
950
01:01:28,532 --> 01:01:29,885
Windowseat?
951
01:01:30,652 --> 01:01:32,165
Certainly not on the windowseat.
952
01:01:32,252 --> 01:01:34,482
I'm going to sleep on the windowseat.
953
01:01:34,852 --> 01:01:36,683
I'll sleep on the windowseat from now on.
954
01:01:38,772 --> 01:01:39,761
Now look.
955
01:01:40,732 --> 01:01:42,165
Now, be a good fellow.
956
01:01:42,252 --> 01:01:44,971
Here's $10. Go out
and haunt yourself a hotel.
957
01:01:47,492 --> 01:01:51,451
Mortimer, you know what I do
to people who order me around.
958
01:01:54,652 --> 01:01:56,165
Mr. Spenalzo.
959
01:01:56,372 --> 01:01:57,248
What?
960
01:01:57,372 --> 01:02:00,569
What's going to happen to Mr. Spenalzo?
961
01:02:01,732 --> 01:02:04,485
We can't leave him here
in the windowseat.
962
01:02:09,852 --> 01:02:13,208
Doctor, I've completely lost track
of Mr. Spenalzo.
963
01:02:13,372 --> 01:02:15,761
Wait! Who's this Mr. Spenalzo?
964
01:02:15,932 --> 01:02:18,241
A friend of ours Johnny was looking for.
965
01:02:18,332 --> 01:02:20,800
Don't bring anyone else in here.
Now, beat it!
966
01:02:20,892 --> 01:02:22,245
It's all right, Johnny.
967
01:02:22,332 --> 01:02:24,926
While we are packing,
I'll tell you about him.
968
01:02:31,132 --> 01:02:34,204
I'll take care of you, Mortimer,
in just a little while.
969
01:02:35,292 --> 01:02:36,566
How do you like that?
970
01:02:36,652 --> 01:02:39,928
The guy stays away for 20 years
and picks tonight to come back.
971
01:02:40,012 --> 01:02:41,923
Elaine, what are you doing here?
972
01:02:42,052 --> 01:02:44,247
- Mortimer!
- What's the matter, darling?
973
01:02:44,332 --> 01:02:47,324
- I almost got killed.
- Killed?
974
01:02:48,292 --> 01:02:49,725
Aunt Abby, Aunt Martha!
975
01:02:51,092 --> 01:02:52,764
No! It was Jonathan!
976
01:02:53,132 --> 01:02:55,168
He mistook her for a sneak thief.
977
01:02:55,252 --> 01:02:57,368
- Oh, that.
- Lt was worse than that.
978
01:02:57,492 --> 01:02:59,210
He's some kind of a maniac.
979
01:02:59,292 --> 01:03:00,645
I'm afraid of him.
980
01:03:00,732 --> 01:03:03,371
Darling, don't worry about it.
I'm here now. Forget it.
981
01:03:03,492 --> 01:03:06,450
We were married today,
we were going over Niagara Falls...
982
01:03:06,532 --> 01:03:09,888
your brother tries to strangle me,
a taxi's waiting...
983
01:03:10,092 --> 01:03:12,287
and now you want to sleep
on a windowseat!
984
01:03:12,372 --> 01:03:14,203
Windowseat. Witherspoon.
985
01:03:14,452 --> 01:03:16,408
- You'd better run along home.
- What?
986
01:03:16,492 --> 01:03:19,211
Go on home like a good girl.
I got things to do.
987
01:03:19,292 --> 01:03:20,566
- But...
- Please.
988
01:03:20,852 --> 01:03:23,366
Operator?
Get me Happy Dale 2-7-0, please.
989
01:03:23,652 --> 01:03:26,041
But didn't you hear what I was just saying?
990
01:03:26,132 --> 01:03:29,169
Your own brother Jonathan,
he was trying to strangle me!
991
01:03:29,292 --> 01:03:31,567
- Please! This is important!
- That?
992
01:03:32,252 --> 01:03:34,402
Mr. Witherspoon?
This is Mortimer Brewster.
993
01:03:34,492 --> 01:03:36,528
Yes, Mr. Brewster.
994
01:03:37,052 --> 01:03:39,361
Well, I don't understand you.
995
01:03:39,452 --> 01:03:42,285
- He was going to kill me!
- Wait, I can't hear the man.
996
01:03:42,372 --> 01:03:44,522
Well, look.
I've got the papers all drawn up.
997
01:03:44,612 --> 01:03:48,969
I know it's late, but come down here
and get my brother immediately!
998
01:03:49,092 --> 01:03:50,127
Please, darling.
999
01:03:50,212 --> 01:03:54,046
By the way, you've had the papers signed
by your brother and the doctor, of course?
1000
01:03:54,132 --> 01:03:55,281
By the doctor?
1001
01:03:55,412 --> 01:03:58,245
Oh, holy mackerel! I forgot the doctor!
1002
01:04:00,172 --> 01:04:03,084
Please, be quiet! Can't you see
I've got to get a doctor?
1003
01:04:03,372 --> 01:04:05,408
What kind of a doctor? A family doctor?
1004
01:04:05,492 --> 01:04:08,848
You can take your honeymoon,
wedding ring, taxi, windowseat...
1005
01:04:08,932 --> 01:04:11,810
put them in a barrel,
and push them all over Niagara Falls!
1006
01:04:11,892 --> 01:04:13,564
Thank you, darling. Thank you.
1007
01:04:13,652 --> 01:04:16,086
Why don't you come down here anyway?
1008
01:04:16,172 --> 01:04:19,721
While you're getting here, I'll get
Teddy's and the doctor's signatures.
1009
01:04:21,052 --> 01:04:24,044
I'll get both signatures.
Yeah, well, come right away.
1010
01:04:24,652 --> 01:04:26,404
What's the matter with her?
1011
01:04:36,452 --> 01:04:39,330
Let me sit down.
Let me think about this thing.
1012
01:04:40,452 --> 01:04:43,205
Doctor, Teddy, signature...
1013
01:04:43,972 --> 01:04:45,200
Hoskins!
1014
01:05:03,012 --> 01:05:05,128
Ye gods! There's another one!
1015
01:05:06,452 --> 01:05:07,805
Aunt Abby! Aunt Martha!
1016
01:05:07,892 --> 01:05:10,008
- Come in here!
- We're busy.
1017
01:05:10,092 --> 01:05:12,083
No, you come in here now!
1018
01:05:13,972 --> 01:05:16,406
Yes, dear, what is it? Where's Elaine?
1019
01:05:16,612 --> 01:05:18,807
Didn't you promise not to let anyone in?
1020
01:05:18,892 --> 01:05:21,122
- Jonathan just walked in.
- I don't mean Jonathan!
1021
01:05:21,212 --> 01:05:24,170
I don't mean Dr. Einstein!
Who is that in the windowseat?
1022
01:05:24,252 --> 01:05:25,924
We told you. Mr. Hoskins.
1023
01:05:26,012 --> 01:05:28,367
It is not Mr. Hoskins!
1024
01:05:29,092 --> 01:05:30,047
There!
1025
01:05:32,132 --> 01:05:33,451
Who can that be?
1026
01:05:35,892 --> 01:05:39,328
- Are you saying you've never seen him?
- I certainly am.
1027
01:05:39,492 --> 01:05:41,130
This is a fine how-do-you-do!
1028
01:05:41,212 --> 01:05:43,567
It's getting so anyone thinks
he can walk in!
1029
01:05:43,692 --> 01:05:47,571
Don't you try to get out of this!
That's another one of your gentlemen!
1030
01:05:47,652 --> 01:05:49,802
How can you say such a thing?
1031
01:05:50,172 --> 01:05:52,242
That man's an impostor.
1032
01:05:53,172 --> 01:05:57,085
And if he came here to be buried
in our cellar, he's mistaken.
1033
01:05:58,492 --> 01:06:00,960
You admitted you put Mr. Hoskins
in the windowseat.
1034
01:06:01,052 --> 01:06:01,848
Yes, I did.
1035
01:06:01,932 --> 01:06:04,651
This man couldn't have got the idea
from Mr. Hoskins!
1036
01:06:04,732 --> 01:06:08,168
- By the way, where is Mr. Hoskins?
- He must have gone to Panama.
1037
01:06:08,292 --> 01:06:10,010
- What? You buried him?
- Not yet.
1038
01:06:10,092 --> 01:06:12,970
He's down there
waiting for the services, poor dear.
1039
01:06:13,052 --> 01:06:16,442
We haven't had a minute,
what with Jonathan in the house.
1040
01:06:18,452 --> 01:06:19,328
Oh, dear.
1041
01:06:19,492 --> 01:06:22,962
We've always wanted
to hold a double funeral.
1042
01:06:23,172 --> 01:06:26,801
But I will not read services
over a total stranger!
1043
01:06:27,812 --> 01:06:30,610
A total stranger. How can I believe you?
1044
01:06:30,692 --> 01:06:33,490
There are 12 men down there,
you admit you poisoned them!
1045
01:06:33,572 --> 01:06:37,531
Yes, I did. But you don't think
I'd stoop to telling a fib!
1046
01:06:39,132 --> 01:06:41,088
What do you think has happened?
1047
01:06:41,332 --> 01:06:42,651
"A fib!"
1048
01:06:58,012 --> 01:07:02,210
This may interest you, Mortimer.
I've decided that we're staying.
1049
01:07:02,332 --> 01:07:06,644
And I've also decided that you're leaving,
and I mean now.
1050
01:07:06,812 --> 01:07:09,770
Listen, handsome. I'm in no mood
to debate the question.
1051
01:07:09,852 --> 01:07:12,924
Are you getting out,
or am I throwing you out on your ear?
1052
01:07:13,012 --> 01:07:15,242
I've led a strange life.
1053
01:07:16,012 --> 01:07:17,764
Martha, you come straight along here.
1054
01:07:17,852 --> 01:07:20,605
You just look and see
what's in that windowseat.
1055
01:07:22,492 --> 01:07:23,720
No. Don't...
1056
01:07:46,292 --> 01:07:48,931
Let Aunt Martha see
what's in the windowseat.
1057
01:07:52,812 --> 01:07:55,770
Aunt Abby, darling, I owe you an apology.
1058
01:07:55,972 --> 01:07:59,248
I've got some very good news for you.
Jonathan is leaving.
1059
01:08:00,572 --> 01:08:04,406
And he's taking Dr. Einstein
and that cold companion with him.
1060
01:08:09,692 --> 01:08:12,570
Listen. You're my brother,
you're a Brewster.
1061
01:08:12,652 --> 01:08:15,803
I'll give you a chance to get away
and take the evidence with you.
1062
01:08:15,972 --> 01:08:18,202
You can't ask for more than that.
1063
01:08:19,132 --> 01:08:20,121
Well?
1064
01:08:22,692 --> 01:08:25,684
All right, in that case,
I'll have to call the police.
1065
01:08:27,852 --> 01:08:29,729
Don't reach for the telephone.
1066
01:08:29,852 --> 01:08:33,561
Remember, what happened
to Mr. Spenalzo can happen to you, too.
1067
01:08:33,772 --> 01:08:35,046
Spenalzo?
1068
01:08:35,252 --> 01:08:37,527
I knew he was a foreigner.
1069
01:08:38,252 --> 01:08:40,129
Put down that telephone.
1070
01:08:48,892 --> 01:08:49,881
Officer O'Hara!
1071
01:08:49,972 --> 01:08:52,725
I saw the lights and thought
you might have sickness...
1072
01:08:52,812 --> 01:08:54,643
You got company? Sorry I disturbed you.
1073
01:08:54,732 --> 01:08:57,087
- No! Come in.
- Yes, do come in.
1074
01:08:57,172 --> 01:09:00,005
Come right in, Officer.
This is our nephew, Mortimer.
1075
01:09:00,092 --> 01:09:01,969
- Pleased to meet you.
- Glad to see you.
1076
01:09:02,052 --> 01:09:05,681
- And this is another nephew, Jonathan.
- Pleased to make your acquaintance.
1077
01:09:06,052 --> 01:09:09,010
Your face is familiar.
Haven't I seen a picture of you?
1078
01:09:09,092 --> 01:09:10,844
I don't think so.
1079
01:09:10,932 --> 01:09:13,969
- I'll be running along.
- Why? Stay until my brother leaves.
1080
01:09:14,052 --> 01:09:15,405
I got to ring in, Mr...
1081
01:09:15,492 --> 01:09:18,564
Are you "the" Mortimer Brewster,
the writer and dramatic critic?
1082
01:09:18,692 --> 01:09:19,488
Yes, why?
1083
01:09:19,572 --> 01:09:23,406
What a break for me! I'm a playwright.
I'm working on a play now.
1084
01:09:23,532 --> 01:09:26,763
You are? Well, well, well!
1085
01:09:26,972 --> 01:09:30,044
- Maybe I can help you with it.
- Would you? What a break!
1086
01:09:30,132 --> 01:09:32,521
I get wonderful ideas,
but I can't spell them.
1087
01:09:32,612 --> 01:09:34,967
I can spell like the dickens.
Constantinople?
1088
01:09:35,052 --> 01:09:37,612
Let's go into the kitchen.
You can tell me all about it.
1089
01:09:37,732 --> 01:09:39,643
Couldn't you whip up a sandwich?
1090
01:09:39,732 --> 01:09:42,963
I hope you don't mind
eating in the kitchen, Officer O'Hara.
1091
01:09:43,092 --> 01:09:44,969
And where else would you eat?
1092
01:09:46,132 --> 01:09:47,611
See you in a moment.
1093
01:09:49,492 --> 01:09:51,005
This is your last chance.
1094
01:09:51,092 --> 01:09:53,652
I'll keep O'Hara busy
to give you a chance to get out.
1095
01:09:53,732 --> 01:09:56,121
All three of you:
you, Dr. Einstein and Spenalzo.
1096
01:09:56,212 --> 01:10:00,490
If you don't leave here, I'll introduce
Officer O'Hara to Mr. Spenalzo.
1097
01:10:00,572 --> 01:10:02,005
My play takes place in...
1098
01:10:02,092 --> 01:10:04,560
I'll be right with you, O'Hara.
Right with you.
1099
01:10:05,732 --> 01:10:07,404
Just give me one moment.
1100
01:10:08,212 --> 01:10:10,646
Now get going! All three of you.
1101
01:10:20,172 --> 01:10:23,369
This affair between my brother and myself
has got to be settled.
1102
01:10:23,452 --> 01:10:27,127
But we've got trouble enough as it is.
Come, let's go.
1103
01:10:27,332 --> 01:10:30,324
We're not going.
We're sleeping right here in this house.
1104
01:10:30,412 --> 01:10:34,291
What? With a cop in the kitchen
and Spenalzo in the windowseat?
1105
01:10:34,492 --> 01:10:38,041
That's all he's got on us. We'll take
Spenalzo and dump him in the bay.
1106
01:10:38,132 --> 01:10:41,522
After that, we're coming back here.
Then if he tries to interfere...
1107
01:10:41,612 --> 01:10:43,364
No, no, Johnny. No, please.
1108
01:10:43,452 --> 01:10:46,489
We've got a wonderful setup here.
We can make a fortune.
1109
01:10:46,692 --> 01:10:51,083
Two old ladies as a front.
Only Mortimer stands in our way.
1110
01:10:51,292 --> 01:10:53,601
I never did like Mortimer.
1111
01:10:53,772 --> 01:10:55,922
Please, take it easy. Please!
1112
01:10:56,132 --> 01:10:58,168
Doctor, you know
when I make up my mind...
1113
01:10:58,292 --> 01:11:00,931
When you make up your mind,
you lose your head.
1114
01:11:01,132 --> 01:11:04,249
Look, Brooklyn ain't a good setup for you.
1115
01:11:05,332 --> 01:11:07,721
Okay, Johnny. Okay!
1116
01:11:09,252 --> 01:11:12,608
Take the instruments and hide them
in the cellar. Move fast.
1117
01:11:14,932 --> 01:11:18,004
- You don't know what goes on in Brooklyn.
- I don't know.
1118
01:11:18,132 --> 01:11:20,851
- My mother was an actress.
- Legitimate?
1119
01:11:20,932 --> 01:11:22,570
Of course. She was my mother.
1120
01:11:22,652 --> 01:11:24,688
- Excuse me.
- Peaches La Tour was her name.
1121
01:11:26,332 --> 01:11:28,129
- Come quick!
- What's the matter?
1122
01:11:28,212 --> 01:11:30,328
- You know that hole in the cellar?
- Yes.
1123
01:11:30,412 --> 01:11:32,801
Well, we got an ace in the hole.
1124
01:11:34,652 --> 01:11:37,450
It's no fly-by-night idea.
I worked on it for 12 years.
1125
01:11:37,852 --> 01:11:40,047
Well, rehash it. I'll be back in a minute.
1126
01:11:40,132 --> 01:11:41,770
- Swell.
- I like the first act.
1127
01:11:41,852 --> 01:11:43,729
I didn't tell you the first...
1128
01:11:51,012 --> 01:11:52,764
I thought I told you...
1129
01:11:57,452 --> 01:11:59,170
Yes, Mortimer.
1130
01:12:01,372 --> 01:12:04,045
What are you doing still here?
I thought I said beat it.
1131
01:12:04,132 --> 01:12:05,326
We're not going.
1132
01:12:05,412 --> 01:12:07,050
- You're not going?
- No.
1133
01:12:07,252 --> 01:12:08,651
You stay out of this.
1134
01:12:08,732 --> 01:12:11,087
All right, you asked for it.
1135
01:12:11,292 --> 01:12:12,884
- Officer O'Hara?
- Coming.
1136
01:12:13,732 --> 01:12:16,121
If you tell O'Hara
what's in the windowseat...
1137
01:12:16,212 --> 01:12:18,203
I'll tell him what's in the cellar.
1138
01:12:18,292 --> 01:12:19,247
Cellar?
1139
01:12:19,532 --> 01:12:23,127
There's an elderly gentleman down there
who seems to be very dead.
1140
01:12:24,652 --> 01:12:27,246
- What were you doing there?
- What's he doing there?
1141
01:12:27,332 --> 01:12:29,607
Now what are you going to tell O'Hara?
1142
01:12:29,932 --> 01:12:33,163
Your aunts want to hear the rest.
Shall I bring them in here?
1143
01:12:33,292 --> 01:12:35,852
You can't do that now.
You'd better ring in.
1144
01:12:36,052 --> 01:12:38,725
The heck with ringing in!
I want to tell you the plot.
1145
01:12:38,812 --> 01:12:41,167
You can't tell me
in front of those two fellas.
1146
01:12:41,252 --> 01:12:42,287
Lowbrows, huh?
1147
01:12:42,412 --> 01:12:45,722
Let's go where we can be alone.
I'll meet you there later.
1148
01:12:45,852 --> 01:12:48,127
How about the backroom at Kelly's?
1149
01:12:48,252 --> 01:12:51,244
Fine place. Bohemian atmosphere.
Genius at work.
1150
01:12:51,332 --> 01:12:53,243
You ring in and I'll meet you at Kelly's.
1151
01:12:53,372 --> 01:12:55,567
Why don't you both go down in the cellar?
1152
01:12:55,652 --> 01:12:57,483
That's all right with me.
1153
01:12:57,612 --> 01:13:00,763
There's a much more literary atmosphere
in Kelly's, I assure you.
1154
01:13:00,852 --> 01:13:02,126
This opening will kill you.
1155
01:13:02,212 --> 01:13:04,328
I'm waiting to be born and the doctor...
1156
01:13:04,412 --> 01:13:05,561
The doctor!
1157
01:13:05,692 --> 01:13:08,126
Look, you ring in and I'll see you later.
1158
01:13:08,252 --> 01:13:11,130
You won't stand me up, will you?
This is a great play.
1159
01:13:11,212 --> 01:13:13,203
- I'll see you down there.
- Can't wait!
1160
01:13:13,292 --> 01:13:14,486
Doctor, doctor.
1161
01:13:14,652 --> 01:13:17,007
Where are those papers? There they are.
1162
01:13:18,452 --> 01:13:22,127
You're smug, aren't you? You think
you've got it over me. You haven't.
1163
01:13:22,332 --> 01:13:26,166
You think I'm afraid to tell about Spenalzo
because of Hoskins. Well, I'm not!
1164
01:13:26,252 --> 01:13:27,605
The moment I get Spenalzo...
1165
01:13:27,692 --> 01:13:30,923
The moment the doctor signs,
I don't care who knows about Hoskins.
1166
01:13:31,012 --> 01:13:34,288
And you better feel the same way
about Spenalzo. Yes, Spenalzo!
1167
01:13:34,372 --> 01:13:37,170
- Where are you going?
- To the doctor's. Where do you...
1168
01:13:37,252 --> 01:13:40,005
When I come back,
I expect to find you gone. Wait for me!
1169
01:13:40,692 --> 01:13:42,569
We'll wait for him.
1170
01:13:43,572 --> 01:13:45,164
Did he look guilty!
1171
01:13:45,852 --> 01:13:49,003
Well, Martha,
I think we can start the services now.
1172
01:13:50,572 --> 01:13:52,164
We thought we heard you leave.
1173
01:13:52,252 --> 01:13:55,210
Perish the thought, dear aunties.
That was just Mortimer.
1174
01:13:55,292 --> 01:13:57,123
And speaking of services...
1175
01:13:57,252 --> 01:14:01,484
will you make us some coffee
while we take Spenalzo down to the cellar?
1176
01:14:02,132 --> 01:14:04,692
No, Jonathan.
You've got to take him with you!
1177
01:14:04,812 --> 01:14:08,009
There's a friend of Mortimer's downstairs
waiting for him.
1178
01:14:08,132 --> 01:14:11,283
- A friend of Mortimer's?
- Take his feet, Doctor.
1179
01:14:11,772 --> 01:14:14,491
Mr. Spenalzo and he
will get along fine together.
1180
01:14:14,572 --> 01:14:16,005
They're both dead.
1181
01:14:16,852 --> 01:14:18,524
He must mean Mr. Hoskins.
1182
01:14:18,652 --> 01:14:20,131
Mr. Hoskins?
1183
01:14:25,092 --> 01:14:27,128
You know about what's down there?
1184
01:14:27,252 --> 01:14:30,483
Of course we do.
And he's no friend of Mortimer's.
1185
01:14:30,612 --> 01:14:33,206
- He's one of our gentlemen.
- Your gentlemen?
1186
01:14:33,412 --> 01:14:37,121
Yes. And we won't have
any strangers buried in our cellar.
1187
01:14:37,292 --> 01:14:40,284
- But Mr. Hoskins...
- Mr. Hoskins is no stranger.
1188
01:14:40,412 --> 01:14:42,846
Besides, there's no room for Mr. Spenalzo.
1189
01:14:42,932 --> 01:14:44,763
The cellar's crowded already.
1190
01:14:44,852 --> 01:14:46,285
Crowded? With what?
1191
01:14:46,412 --> 01:14:49,006
There are 12 graves down there now.
1192
01:14:55,012 --> 01:14:56,491
Twelve graves.
1193
01:14:56,572 --> 01:14:59,723
That leaves very little room
and we're going to need it.
1194
01:15:00,052 --> 01:15:02,646
You mean, you and Aunt Martha
have murdered 12...
1195
01:15:02,772 --> 01:15:05,889
Murdered? Certainly not.
It's one of our charities.
1196
01:15:05,972 --> 01:15:08,691
Why, what we've been doing is a mercy.
1197
01:15:08,812 --> 01:15:12,964
So you just take your Mr. Spenalzo
out of here.
1198
01:15:17,692 --> 01:15:19,728
You've done all that...
1199
01:15:20,212 --> 01:15:24,046
right here in this house
and buried them in the cellar?
1200
01:15:25,412 --> 01:15:27,846
That's wonderful, Johnny!
1201
01:15:28,132 --> 01:15:30,362
We've been chased all over the world...
1202
01:15:30,452 --> 01:15:34,411
and they stay right here in Brooklyn,
and they do just as good as you do.
1203
01:15:34,532 --> 01:15:35,567
What?
1204
01:15:36,932 --> 01:15:39,082
You got 12, they got 12.
1205
01:15:39,572 --> 01:15:40,687
I've got 13.
1206
01:15:40,892 --> 01:15:44,089
- No, Johnny, 12. Don't brag.
- Thirteen.
1207
01:15:44,332 --> 01:15:47,768
There's Mr. Spenalzo.
Then the first one in London.
1208
01:15:47,972 --> 01:15:50,770
Two in Johannesburg, one in Sydney,
one in Melbourne...
1209
01:15:50,852 --> 01:15:53,491
two in San Francisco,
one in Phoenix, Arizona.
1210
01:15:53,572 --> 01:15:54,561
Phoenix?
1211
01:15:54,812 --> 01:15:57,201
- The filling station.
- Filling...
1212
01:15:57,332 --> 01:16:00,165
Three in Chicago and one in South Bend.
1213
01:16:00,372 --> 01:16:01,646
That makes 13.
1214
01:16:01,732 --> 01:16:05,042
You cannot count the one in South Bend.
He died of pneumonia.
1215
01:16:05,132 --> 01:16:07,965
He wouldn't have died of pneumonia
if I hadn't shot him.
1216
01:16:08,052 --> 01:16:10,043
You cannot count him.
1217
01:16:10,372 --> 01:16:12,727
You got 12, they got 12.
1218
01:16:12,852 --> 01:16:16,162
The old ladies is just as good as you are.
1219
01:16:18,932 --> 01:16:20,923
They are, are they?
1220
01:16:21,972 --> 01:16:24,406
Well, that's easily taken care of.
1221
01:16:24,612 --> 01:16:27,046
All I need is one more.
1222
01:16:27,252 --> 01:16:30,005
That's all. Just one more.
1223
01:16:31,292 --> 01:16:34,762
And I've a pretty good idea who it is.
1224
01:16:35,372 --> 01:16:38,489
I'm a lucky man to have caught you
at home, Dr. Gilchrist.
1225
01:16:38,572 --> 01:16:40,244
This is most irregular.
1226
01:16:40,372 --> 01:16:43,967
I'm sorry to have dragged you out of bed,
but only you can help me.
1227
01:16:44,052 --> 01:16:47,601
I know Teddy blows bugles,
but I can't commit a man just on that.
1228
01:16:47,732 --> 01:16:49,085
If you'd talk with him...
1229
01:16:49,172 --> 01:16:51,970
I'm sure you'd be convinced.
Here's the house I...
1230
01:16:54,452 --> 01:16:56,204
- There goes Hoskins.
- Who?
1231
01:16:56,332 --> 01:16:58,209
What? Did I say...
1232
01:17:00,212 --> 01:17:01,645
- You better wait.
- Here?
1233
01:17:01,732 --> 01:17:02,960
I'll bring Teddy out.
1234
01:17:03,052 --> 01:17:05,930
I wouldn't want to alarm the old ladies,
seeing a doctor.
1235
01:17:06,012 --> 01:17:08,162
- You wait here.
- Ln the cemetery?
1236
01:17:08,372 --> 01:17:09,566
It's Halloween.
1237
01:17:09,652 --> 01:17:11,927
The pixies won't be out
till after midnight.
1238
01:17:12,012 --> 01:17:15,687
Make yourself comfortable.
Pull up a tombstone. I'll be right back.
1239
01:17:16,212 --> 01:17:17,770
- Hey, $22.50!
- What?
1240
01:17:17,892 --> 01:17:18,881
$22.50!
1241
01:17:19,012 --> 01:17:21,207
Oh, yes, looks good on you!
1242
01:17:21,852 --> 01:17:23,604
Not the suit, the meter!
1243
01:17:24,972 --> 01:17:27,770
"Looks good on me." $22.50.
1244
01:17:31,692 --> 01:17:34,764
- Did you give him a 21-gun salute?
- Yes, with a Maxim silencer.
1245
01:17:34,852 --> 01:17:36,888
Five more bucks and you'll own it.
1246
01:17:36,972 --> 01:17:39,167
No, thanks. It wouldn't fit me.
1247
01:17:40,932 --> 01:17:43,844
- Mr. President, may I present...
- Dr. Livingstone!
1248
01:17:43,932 --> 01:17:46,969
- Livingstone?
- That's what he presumes.
1249
01:17:47,092 --> 01:17:49,811
The doctor would like
to have a few words with you.
1250
01:17:49,892 --> 01:17:52,770
Certainly. Welcome to Washington.
1251
01:17:52,932 --> 01:17:55,685
Arlington is beautiful
at this time of year, is it not?
1252
01:17:55,772 --> 01:17:57,125
Yes, indeed.
1253
01:18:02,212 --> 01:18:04,487
Well now, that's that.
1254
01:18:04,692 --> 01:18:06,683
It gives me a chance to rest.
1255
01:18:10,412 --> 01:18:11,731
So far, so good.
1256
01:18:14,452 --> 01:18:15,726
Not so good.
1257
01:18:21,612 --> 01:18:23,523
Do you or do you not love me?
1258
01:18:25,332 --> 01:18:28,847
How can you say such a thing?
Darling, of course I love you.
1259
01:18:28,932 --> 01:18:30,604
- Do you?
- Yes, darling.
1260
01:18:30,732 --> 01:18:34,088
Then why have you been treating me
the way you have?
1261
01:18:37,012 --> 01:18:40,846
Darling, I love you so much,
I can't go through with our marriage.
1262
01:18:43,132 --> 01:18:44,690
Have you suddenly gone crazy?
1263
01:18:44,772 --> 01:18:47,491
I don't think so,
but it's only a matter of time.
1264
01:18:47,572 --> 01:18:51,087
Darling, would you want to have children
with three heads?
1265
01:18:51,172 --> 01:18:55,051
You wouldn't want to set up housekeeping
in a padded cell.
1266
01:18:55,212 --> 01:18:58,249
- What are you talking about?
- Well, I don't quite know.
1267
01:18:58,452 --> 01:19:01,762
I probably should have told you
this before, but you see...
1268
01:19:01,852 --> 01:19:05,003
well, insanity runs in my family.
1269
01:19:06,092 --> 01:19:08,083
It practically gallops.
1270
01:19:09,892 --> 01:19:12,406
Just because Teddy's strange,
that doesn't mean...
1271
01:19:12,492 --> 01:19:14,926
No, darling. It's way back before Teddy.
1272
01:19:15,132 --> 01:19:18,807
This goes back to the first Brewster
who came over on the Mayflower.
1273
01:19:19,092 --> 01:19:22,926
You know how in those days
the lndians used to scalp the settlers?
1274
01:19:23,372 --> 01:19:25,408
He used to scalp the lndians.
1275
01:19:26,252 --> 01:19:28,004
Darling, that's ancient history.
1276
01:19:28,092 --> 01:19:31,562
Doctor, I'll run for a third term,
but I won't be elected.
1277
01:19:31,652 --> 01:19:34,485
That'll mean the last of the Roosevelts
in the White House.
1278
01:19:34,572 --> 01:19:37,928
- That's what you think.
- Of course, if the country insists...
1279
01:19:38,012 --> 01:19:40,207
Darling, all this doesn't prove a thing.
1280
01:19:40,292 --> 01:19:43,170
Look at your aunts.
They're Brewsters, aren't they?
1281
01:19:43,252 --> 01:19:45,925
They're the sweetest,
sanest people I've ever known.
1282
01:19:48,332 --> 01:19:51,130
Well, even they have their peculiarities.
1283
01:19:51,212 --> 01:19:54,090
What of it? So your family's crazy.
So you're crazy.
1284
01:19:54,172 --> 01:19:55,969
That's the way I love you.
1285
01:19:56,332 --> 01:19:58,641
I'm crazy too, but kiss me.
1286
01:19:58,972 --> 01:20:00,530
No, no. I...
1287
01:20:04,092 --> 01:20:07,368
Goodbye, Ambassador.
I've enjoyed this little talk very much.
1288
01:20:07,452 --> 01:20:10,842
Anytime you're in Washington,
drop in to see me at the White House.
1289
01:20:16,612 --> 01:20:19,285
- Those papers.
- Go away. Papers!
1290
01:20:19,452 --> 01:20:21,886
- I'll commit him to any place.
- You will?
1291
01:20:21,972 --> 01:20:24,202
I've just been appointed
Ambassador to Bolivia!
1292
01:20:24,292 --> 01:20:26,886
You see? Didn't I tell you?
1293
01:20:26,972 --> 01:20:30,044
Don't worry about that.
Just go on signing the papers.
1294
01:20:31,092 --> 01:20:32,161
Thank you.
1295
01:20:34,332 --> 01:20:38,007
All right! We'll find out
whose house this is!
1296
01:20:38,132 --> 01:20:40,726
I'm warning you, you better stop it.
1297
01:20:40,812 --> 01:20:44,248
There's no use doing what you're doing.
It'll just have to be undone.
1298
01:20:44,332 --> 01:20:45,970
Aunt Abby, go to bed!
1299
01:20:46,092 --> 01:20:50,005
It's a terrible thing to do to bury
a good Methodist with a foreigner.
1300
01:20:50,092 --> 01:20:51,491
Where have you been?
1301
01:20:51,572 --> 01:20:54,132
Getting some papers signed.
Is Teddy in his room?
1302
01:20:54,212 --> 01:20:55,930
What is the matter with you?
1303
01:20:56,012 --> 01:20:58,924
Running around getting papers signed
at a time like this.
1304
01:20:59,012 --> 01:21:01,128
Martha and I are going for the police.
1305
01:21:01,212 --> 01:21:02,167
Police!
1306
01:21:02,892 --> 01:21:04,041
Wait!
1307
01:21:04,132 --> 01:21:06,441
- You can't go for the police.
- Oh, no?
1308
01:21:06,572 --> 01:21:08,244
You know what Jonathan's doing?
1309
01:21:08,332 --> 01:21:11,210
He's putting Mr. Hoskins
and Mr. Spenalzo in together.
1310
01:21:11,292 --> 01:21:12,520
All right, let him.
1311
01:21:12,612 --> 01:21:15,251
This is all fixed up nice now.
1312
01:21:15,452 --> 01:21:17,807
Nice and smooth like a lake.
1313
01:21:17,972 --> 01:21:21,965
The President will be very proud
of his Panama Canal.
1314
01:21:23,932 --> 01:21:25,888
Bed feels good already.
1315
01:21:25,972 --> 01:21:29,521
You know, we didn't get any sleep
for 48 hours.
1316
01:21:29,652 --> 01:21:31,370
You're forgetting, Doctor.
1317
01:21:32,612 --> 01:21:35,888
If Jonathan and Mr. Spenalzo
aren't out this house before morning...
1318
01:21:35,972 --> 01:21:37,724
we're going for the police.
1319
01:21:37,812 --> 01:21:39,450
I'll get them out, I promise!
1320
01:21:39,532 --> 01:21:43,445
- Then you get the wedding silver.
- Remember, no police! No police!
1321
01:21:43,932 --> 01:21:45,843
Look, go to bed, will you?
1322
01:21:45,972 --> 01:21:49,442
Get out of those clothes!
You look like a double blackout.
1323
01:21:49,612 --> 01:21:51,967
My brother, Mortimer.
1324
01:21:52,252 --> 01:21:53,970
I just heard him upstairs.
1325
01:21:54,612 --> 01:21:57,046
No! I am tired.
1326
01:21:57,132 --> 01:22:01,410
You forget, I got to operate
on your face tomorrow.
1327
01:22:01,612 --> 01:22:04,410
You are going to operate tomorrow,
Doctor.
1328
01:22:04,572 --> 01:22:07,245
But tonight we are taking care
of Mortimer.
1329
01:22:07,372 --> 01:22:10,409
But Johnny, not tonight! I'm sleepy.
1330
01:22:10,492 --> 01:22:12,926
We'll do it tomorrow. Or the next day.
1331
01:22:13,292 --> 01:22:15,203
Look at me, Doctor.
1332
01:22:16,052 --> 01:22:19,761
You can see that it's got to be done,
can't you?
1333
01:22:20,012 --> 01:22:23,482
Yeah, I know that look.
1334
01:22:23,692 --> 01:22:26,968
It's a little late to
dissolve our partnership.
1335
01:22:27,172 --> 01:22:29,561
Okay, Johnny. Okay, we'll do it.
1336
01:22:29,692 --> 01:22:32,889
But the quick way, huh?
The quick twist like in London.
1337
01:22:33,092 --> 01:22:37,051
No, Doctor. I think this calls
for something special.
1338
01:22:37,732 --> 01:22:41,122
I think, perhaps, the Melbourne method.
1339
01:22:41,292 --> 01:22:43,965
Not the Melbourne method, please!
1340
01:22:44,092 --> 01:22:45,764
Two hours!
1341
01:22:45,932 --> 01:22:48,287
And then when it was all over, what?
1342
01:22:48,492 --> 01:22:52,246
The fellow in London was just as dead
as the fellow in Melbourne.
1343
01:22:53,972 --> 01:22:55,564
Don't do that, Mr. President.
1344
01:22:55,652 --> 01:22:58,530
But I cannot sign anything
without consulting my Cabinet.
1345
01:22:58,612 --> 01:22:59,840
This must be secret.
1346
01:22:59,932 --> 01:23:02,571
A secret proclamation? How unusual.
1347
01:23:02,772 --> 01:23:05,605
Yes, it's the only way
we can outsmart the other fellow.
1348
01:23:05,692 --> 01:23:07,922
- Who's the other fellow?
- That's the secret.
1349
01:23:08,012 --> 01:23:09,764
Oh, I see!
1350
01:23:10,292 --> 01:23:11,520
Very clever.
1351
01:23:11,852 --> 01:23:14,366
A secret proclamation
has to be signed in secret.
1352
01:23:14,452 --> 01:23:17,410
- Of course, Mr. President.
- I'll put on my signing clothes.
1353
01:23:17,492 --> 01:23:19,608
You already have them on, Mr. President.
1354
01:23:19,692 --> 01:23:21,922
So I have. Wait here.
1355
01:23:25,252 --> 01:23:27,208
Hey, Mr. Brewster.
1356
01:23:27,332 --> 01:23:28,845
What is it, mice?
1357
01:23:31,932 --> 01:23:34,844
- You get out of this house.
- Can't you see I'm busy?
1358
01:23:43,492 --> 01:23:45,164
Thank you, Mr. President.
1359
01:23:45,732 --> 01:23:48,371
What a load off my mind.
Boy, could I use a drink!
1360
01:23:48,452 --> 01:23:52,001
- Get out of here, will you, please?
- What? Speak up. I can't hear you.
1361
01:23:52,092 --> 01:23:53,889
Johnny's in a bad mood. Get out!
1362
01:23:53,972 --> 01:23:57,328
- Stop underplaying. I can't hear you.
- Please listen to me. Get out.
1363
01:23:57,412 --> 01:24:01,007
Stop all this! What are you doing?
Look, Doc... Are you really a doctor?
1364
01:24:01,092 --> 01:24:02,889
Yes, Heidelberg, 1919.
1365
01:24:03,012 --> 01:24:05,572
Heidelberg?
How'd you hook up with Jonathan?
1366
01:24:05,692 --> 01:24:09,571
I tell you later about that, but you go now.
Please listen to me.
1367
01:24:10,532 --> 01:24:11,851
Stop it, Doctor!
1368
01:24:11,932 --> 01:24:14,810
You get out of here!
Look, when Johnny's in that mood...
1369
01:24:14,892 --> 01:24:17,087
he's a madman. He's a maniac!
1370
01:24:17,292 --> 01:24:20,250
And then things happen. Horrible things.
1371
01:24:20,332 --> 01:24:22,527
- Get out of here!
- Will you stop it?
1372
01:24:22,612 --> 01:24:25,206
Stop telling me about Jonathan,
I'll take care of him.
1373
01:24:25,292 --> 01:24:28,090
You take care of yourself.
Get going, little fellow.
1374
01:24:28,172 --> 01:24:30,208
- What's that? Wait.
- My schnapps.
1375
01:24:30,292 --> 01:24:32,760
- I could use that.
- That's mine.
1376
01:24:33,932 --> 01:24:36,002
Please. Only for dramatic critics.
1377
01:24:36,092 --> 01:24:38,811
You beat it before things start popping
around here.
1378
01:24:38,892 --> 01:24:40,962
But, look, Mr. Brewster, please.
1379
01:24:41,052 --> 01:24:42,610
You've just been married.
1380
01:24:42,692 --> 01:24:46,082
You have a nice little wife waiting for you.
Please go now.
1381
01:24:46,332 --> 01:24:47,526
Please.
1382
01:24:51,572 --> 01:24:54,245
Don't those plays you see all the time
teach you anything?
1383
01:24:54,532 --> 01:24:58,081
Don't get me on the subject of plays!
I've got to wait for Mr. Witherspoon.
1384
01:24:58,172 --> 01:25:00,606
At least people in plays
act like they got sense.
1385
01:25:00,692 --> 01:25:03,490
Did anybody in a play
ever act like they got intelligence?
1386
01:25:03,572 --> 01:25:06,723
- How can somebody be so stupid?
- You ought to have my job.
1387
01:25:06,852 --> 01:25:10,811
When you get out of prison, have yourself
wheeled to the Garrick Theater.
1388
01:25:11,132 --> 01:25:14,442
There's a play that's so bad,
it'll still be running when you get out.
1389
01:25:14,532 --> 01:25:16,329
There's a man... Now listen to this.
1390
01:25:16,412 --> 01:25:19,848
He knows he's in the house with murderers
and should know he's in danger.
1391
01:25:19,932 --> 01:25:22,321
He's even been warned to get out.
And does he go?
1392
01:25:22,412 --> 01:25:24,130
No, he doesn't. He stays!
1393
01:25:24,412 --> 01:25:28,803
This fellow doesn't even have sense
to be scared or to be on his guard.
1394
01:25:29,012 --> 01:25:30,968
The murderer even invites him to sit down.
1395
01:25:31,052 --> 01:25:32,963
- What do you think he does?
- I don't know.
1396
01:25:33,052 --> 01:25:34,690
He sits down!
1397
01:25:34,772 --> 01:25:37,889
He deliberately pulls up a chair
and he sits down in it.
1398
01:25:38,012 --> 01:25:39,445
Isn't that great?
1399
01:25:40,292 --> 01:25:43,602
So there he is,
all waiting to be trussed up and gagged.
1400
01:25:44,372 --> 01:25:48,160
What do you think they tied him up with?
The curtain cord.
1401
01:25:49,252 --> 01:25:50,526
Curtain cord?
1402
01:25:51,012 --> 01:25:52,889
But didn't he see him get it?
1403
01:25:52,972 --> 01:25:56,044
No. The silly chump sits down
with his back toward the murderer.
1404
01:25:56,132 --> 01:25:58,930
All he has to do is look around,
but does he? No!
1405
01:26:00,292 --> 01:26:03,728
See, brother Heidelberg,
in a play or even in a movie...
1406
01:26:03,972 --> 01:26:07,521
a fellow never sees or hears anything.
That's right.
1407
01:26:07,612 --> 01:26:09,045
But what does he do?
1408
01:26:09,292 --> 01:26:12,921
The big chump sits there.
This fellow's supposed to be bright.
1409
01:26:13,012 --> 01:26:16,163
Now get a load of this.
Look at the attitude.
1410
01:26:16,492 --> 01:26:20,121
Large as life! He sits there
waiting to be tied up and gagged.
1411
01:26:20,692 --> 01:26:22,011
The big dope!
1412
01:26:30,772 --> 01:26:34,481
You were right about that fellow.
He wasn't very bright.
1413
01:26:35,692 --> 01:26:37,125
Yes, Mortimer.
1414
01:26:38,172 --> 01:26:40,686
I've been away for 20 years.
1415
01:26:40,972 --> 01:26:44,123
But never, my dear brother,
were you out of my mind.
1416
01:26:46,492 --> 01:26:49,723
In Melbourne one night, I dreamt of you.
1417
01:27:11,572 --> 01:27:15,281
The more you struggle
the more you strangle yourself.
1418
01:27:17,972 --> 01:27:20,645
Later on, you may consider that a blessing.
1419
01:27:52,892 --> 01:27:54,086
Now, Doctor...
1420
01:27:55,892 --> 01:27:57,405
we go to work.
1421
01:27:57,492 --> 01:27:59,847
Johnny, for me, the quick way. Please.
1422
01:28:00,892 --> 01:28:03,645
- This must be an artistic achievement.
- Please.
1423
01:28:03,852 --> 01:28:07,401
After all, we're performing
before a very distinguished critic.
1424
01:28:08,252 --> 01:28:09,287
Please!
1425
01:28:10,052 --> 01:28:13,362
All right. Let's get it over with.
1426
01:28:14,252 --> 01:28:17,642
But I cannot see this without the drink.
1427
01:28:18,692 --> 01:28:20,091
Pull yourself together.
1428
01:28:20,172 --> 01:28:23,960
But I can't pull myself together
without a drink.
1429
01:28:24,052 --> 01:28:26,885
You remember when we came in,
there was some wine.
1430
01:28:26,972 --> 01:28:29,805
And then they took it.
Where did they put it?
1431
01:28:31,212 --> 01:28:33,123
I found some wine.
1432
01:28:34,572 --> 01:28:36,563
Here, I'll split it with you.
1433
01:28:36,652 --> 01:28:39,246
We both have a drink before we operate.
1434
01:28:39,492 --> 01:28:43,883
I am so happy that we don't have
to operate without a drink.
1435
01:28:50,412 --> 01:28:51,811
One moment, please.
1436
01:28:52,652 --> 01:28:54,449
Where are your manners?
1437
01:28:57,092 --> 01:28:58,571
Yes, Mortimer.
1438
01:28:58,812 --> 01:29:02,691
I realize now that it was you
who brought me back to Brooklyn.
1439
01:29:02,772 --> 01:29:04,171
We drink to you.
1440
01:29:05,492 --> 01:29:07,403
To my dear, dead brother.
1441
01:29:24,492 --> 01:29:25,527
That idiot!
1442
01:29:25,612 --> 01:29:29,127
- He goes next. That's all. He goes next!
- Not Teddy! Please!
1443
01:29:29,252 --> 01:29:31,766
- We'll get to him later.
- You won't at all!
1444
01:29:31,932 --> 01:29:33,809
We have to work fast. The quick way.
1445
01:29:33,892 --> 01:29:35,405
The quick way, yes!
1446
01:29:35,492 --> 01:29:38,723
If it has to be, then the quick way.
I'll help you.
1447
01:29:52,892 --> 01:29:55,008
The colonel has to quit blowing that horn.
1448
01:29:55,092 --> 01:29:58,050
It's all right. We're taking
the bugle away from him.
1449
01:29:58,132 --> 01:30:01,090
I'd better talk to him myself.
Where's the lights?
1450
01:30:07,292 --> 01:30:08,964
You stood me up!
1451
01:30:09,532 --> 01:30:12,444
I've been waiting for you
for over an hour at Kelly's.
1452
01:30:13,412 --> 01:30:15,368
- What happened to him?
- Nothing.
1453
01:30:15,532 --> 01:30:20,526
He was explaining a play he saw and
that's what happened to a man in the play.
1454
01:30:21,212 --> 01:30:22,122
I see.
1455
01:30:22,652 --> 01:30:24,722
Did that really happen in a play you saw?
1456
01:30:25,092 --> 01:30:27,401
How do you like that?
You can't trust nobody.
1457
01:30:27,492 --> 01:30:29,926
They practically stole that from my play.
1458
01:30:30,252 --> 01:30:33,961
In the second act, just...
Maybe I'd better start at the beginning.
1459
01:30:35,932 --> 01:30:37,285
Yeah, sure.
1460
01:30:42,892 --> 01:30:45,360
You've got to hear the plot!
1461
01:30:48,492 --> 01:30:52,201
My mother's making up.
Like a flash, out of a clear sky...
1462
01:30:52,332 --> 01:30:54,926
the door opens and a man
with a mustache comes in.
1463
01:30:55,012 --> 01:30:58,641
He says, "Miss Peaches La Tour,
will you marry me?"
1464
01:30:59,492 --> 01:31:04,202
That's the first scene. My mother doesn't
say they're married. That's the surprise!
1465
01:31:04,332 --> 01:31:05,606
What a kick!
1466
01:31:06,052 --> 01:31:09,522
Twenty-five years pass.
Well, in the meantime, there's me.
1467
01:31:09,692 --> 01:31:13,048
Growing into a magnificent specimen.
So what do I do?
1468
01:31:13,132 --> 01:31:16,329
I join the police force and become
one of New York's finest.
1469
01:31:16,412 --> 01:31:19,848
I'm cleaning out a crooked laundry, see?
Little do I know it...
1470
01:31:19,972 --> 01:31:22,361
but a dope fiend with
a knife is after me.
1471
01:31:22,452 --> 01:31:23,931
I'm in great danger.
1472
01:31:25,292 --> 01:31:28,284
It's getting you, ain't it?
I can see it in your eyes.
1473
01:31:29,732 --> 01:31:31,529
You ain't heard nothing yet.
1474
01:31:31,652 --> 01:31:34,724
All of a sudden, a fire breaks out.
What an effect!
1475
01:31:34,812 --> 01:31:37,121
Firemen rush in and who's leading them?
1476
01:31:37,372 --> 01:31:39,408
Mayor Fiorello La Guardia!
1477
01:31:42,092 --> 01:31:43,571
What's the matter with him?
1478
01:31:43,652 --> 01:31:46,246
- Probably your play put him to sleep.
- What?
1479
01:31:46,332 --> 01:31:50,245
- I personally like it very much.
- It's probably over his head.
1480
01:31:50,572 --> 01:31:53,450
- Where have I seen that face before?
- No, please.
1481
01:31:55,572 --> 01:31:58,484
The scene changes. It's an evolving stage.
1482
01:31:58,732 --> 01:32:00,927
I'm walking along my beat, casual-like...
1483
01:32:01,012 --> 01:32:04,561
when a guy that I'm following,
it turns out he's following me!
1484
01:32:04,892 --> 01:32:07,645
Don't let nobody in.
I figures I'll outsmart him.
1485
01:32:07,772 --> 01:32:11,082
- There's a vacant house on the corner.
- Johnny, the cops!
1486
01:32:11,172 --> 01:32:13,891
I sees the door handle turn,
so I pulls out my gun...
1487
01:32:13,972 --> 01:32:16,327
braces myself against
the wall and I says:
1488
01:32:16,412 --> 01:32:17,401
"Come in!"
1489
01:32:21,372 --> 01:32:22,771
Hello, boys.
1490
01:32:23,212 --> 01:32:26,807
- What the Sam Hill's going on?
- Sarge, this is Mortimer Brewster.
1491
01:32:26,892 --> 01:32:30,089
- He's going to help me write my play.
- Do you have to tie him up?
1492
01:32:30,172 --> 01:32:34,006
Report in. Why didn't you ring in?
The whole force is out looking for you.
1493
01:32:34,092 --> 01:32:37,084
Right in the middle of the second act.
Did they send you here?
1494
01:32:37,172 --> 01:32:39,527
No, we came to warn the old ladies.
1495
01:32:39,612 --> 01:32:41,967
- The colonel blew that bugle again.
- I heard him.
1496
01:32:42,052 --> 01:32:44,885
The neighbors are phoning in.
The Lieutenant's on the warpath.
1497
01:32:44,972 --> 01:32:47,247
He says we've got
to put him away someplace.
1498
01:32:47,572 --> 01:32:49,051
Now, who the heck is this?
1499
01:32:49,132 --> 01:32:51,805
Mr. Brewster's brother.
My play put him to sleep.
1500
01:32:51,892 --> 01:32:54,804
That's the one that ran away.
So he came back.
1501
01:32:55,052 --> 01:32:56,531
Brophy. Get me Mac.
1502
01:32:56,692 --> 01:33:00,128
Have you got yourself in a mess!
You're two hours overdue at the station.
1503
01:33:00,412 --> 01:33:02,607
I better let them know that I found you.
1504
01:33:02,692 --> 01:33:04,410
It wasn't that bad, was it?
1505
01:33:05,692 --> 01:33:09,571
Tell the Lieutenant he can call off
the big manhunt. We found him.
1506
01:33:09,852 --> 01:33:12,241
At the Brewster house.
1507
01:33:12,332 --> 01:33:14,448
Shall we bring him in?
1508
01:33:14,652 --> 01:33:16,882
All right, we'll hold him right here.
1509
01:33:18,532 --> 01:33:21,000
The Lieutenant is on his way over.
1510
01:33:21,412 --> 01:33:23,926
So I've been turned in?
1511
01:33:24,492 --> 01:33:27,052
All right, you've got me.
1512
01:33:27,892 --> 01:33:31,931
I suppose you and my stool-pigeon brother
will split the reward.
1513
01:33:32,052 --> 01:33:33,167
Yes, reward!
1514
01:33:33,252 --> 01:33:35,083
Now I'll do some turning in!
1515
01:33:35,212 --> 01:33:36,804
Wait a minute, Mr. Brewster.
1516
01:33:36,892 --> 01:33:40,282
You think my aunts are sweet,
charming old ladies, don't you?
1517
01:33:40,372 --> 01:33:43,523
Well, there's 13 bodies
buried in the cellar!
1518
01:33:44,012 --> 01:33:44,967
Yes, 13.
1519
01:33:45,052 --> 01:33:47,805
Be careful what you say.
Your aunts are friends of ours.
1520
01:33:47,892 --> 01:33:50,804
- I'll show them to you.
- Don't make trouble for them!
1521
01:33:50,892 --> 01:33:53,326
Never mind, Mr. Brewster.
Leave him to me.
1522
01:33:53,412 --> 01:33:55,482
- Come down to the cellar.
- Wait a minute.
1523
01:33:55,572 --> 01:33:58,325
Thirteen bodies.
I'll show you where they're buried.
1524
01:33:58,932 --> 01:34:01,366
- Go to the cellar with him.
- Yes, come to the cellar.
1525
01:34:01,452 --> 01:34:03,090
Well, look, do I have to?
1526
01:34:04,212 --> 01:34:06,442
Maybe I don't want to go down
to the cellar.
1527
01:34:06,532 --> 01:34:08,568
Go on down the cellar with him!
1528
01:34:08,652 --> 01:34:11,883
Now, please. I'll tell you
the rest of my play later.
1529
01:34:12,452 --> 01:34:15,091
- Go on down the cellar with him.
- Do I have to?
1530
01:34:15,212 --> 01:34:17,680
Look at that puss.
He looks like Boris Karloff.
1531
01:34:17,772 --> 01:34:18,966
Don't! Sarge!
1532
01:34:25,572 --> 01:34:26,891
Look out, Pat!
1533
01:34:31,932 --> 01:34:33,888
- Look out!
- He's got a gun.
1534
01:34:34,492 --> 01:34:36,767
I got him, Pat. Look out!
1535
01:34:37,132 --> 01:34:39,009
Fight. Go on and fight.
1536
01:34:43,532 --> 01:34:46,410
That's enough, that's enough.
Everybody off.
1537
01:34:49,612 --> 01:34:50,681
Pat, look out!
1538
01:34:50,772 --> 01:34:51,887
Amazing.
1539
01:34:57,492 --> 01:34:59,801
Such a fine day, too.
1540
01:34:59,892 --> 01:35:03,726
All I did was cross the bridge
and I was in Brooklyn. Amazing.
1541
01:35:09,292 --> 01:35:10,611
Don't bother me now.
1542
01:35:10,692 --> 01:35:12,648
You could use this in the third act.
1543
01:35:12,732 --> 01:35:15,200
I got something better. Let me tell you...
1544
01:35:15,852 --> 01:35:17,251
I'll see you later.
1545
01:35:20,772 --> 01:35:23,570
The papers are all signed. What do I care?
1546
01:35:23,892 --> 01:35:25,371
Go ahead, fight.
1547
01:35:31,732 --> 01:35:34,485
I'd better call and see
if Witherspoon has left.
1548
01:35:35,492 --> 01:35:36,561
Telephone.
1549
01:35:37,652 --> 01:35:39,210
I'll get every one of you!
1550
01:35:39,292 --> 01:35:42,284
I hate cops. I'll brain the first one
that comes near me!
1551
01:35:42,372 --> 01:35:45,409
A little higher, brother.
Thank you very much. That's fine.
1552
01:35:46,052 --> 01:35:47,405
Don't do that, please.
1553
01:35:47,492 --> 01:35:48,686
Get him, Pat.
1554
01:35:49,132 --> 01:35:51,771
That won't have any effect.
I've tried it before...
1555
01:35:51,852 --> 01:35:53,126
It did. Isn't that amazing?
1556
01:35:55,572 --> 01:35:58,291
Oh, dear. Wish I could relax like that.
1557
01:36:00,012 --> 01:36:01,570
- Witherspoon.
- Come in.
1558
01:36:15,492 --> 01:36:17,130
What has occurred?
1559
01:36:17,212 --> 01:36:19,806
Never mind!
Didn't I tell you I'd handle this?
1560
01:36:20,052 --> 01:36:21,280
Well, Lieutenant!
1561
01:36:21,372 --> 01:36:24,967
- We were just acting in self-defense.
- What happened? He put up a fight?
1562
01:36:25,052 --> 01:36:27,282
This isn't the one who blows the bugle.
1563
01:36:27,372 --> 01:36:31,809
- This is his brother who tried to kill O'Hara.
- All I said was he looked like Boris Karloff.
1564
01:36:31,892 --> 01:36:33,769
Boris... Turn him over.
1565
01:36:37,452 --> 01:36:39,807
Kind of think he's wanted somewhere.
1566
01:36:40,092 --> 01:36:42,560
You "kind of think
he's wanted somewhere"?
1567
01:36:42,812 --> 01:36:45,849
If you guys can't look
at the circulars we put up...
1568
01:36:46,092 --> 01:36:48,401
you can at least read
short detective stories.
1569
01:36:48,492 --> 01:36:50,483
Certainly, he's wanted. In lndiana!
1570
01:36:50,572 --> 01:36:53,882
He escaped from the prison
for criminally insane. He's a lifer.
1571
01:36:53,972 --> 01:36:55,166
That's my brother.
1572
01:36:55,252 --> 01:36:59,086
That's the way they described him.
"He looked like Karloff."
1573
01:36:59,572 --> 01:37:00,925
Why'd you knock him out?
1574
01:37:01,012 --> 01:37:04,243
He tried to get us to go to the cellar.
He says 13 bodies are there.
1575
01:37:04,332 --> 01:37:05,765
Thirteen bodies in the cellar...
1576
01:37:05,852 --> 01:37:08,844
and that don't tip you off
the guy's from a nuthouse?
1577
01:37:08,932 --> 01:37:10,081
Thanks, pal.
1578
01:37:10,212 --> 01:37:12,009
About my not ringing in, I want to...
1579
01:37:12,092 --> 01:37:14,526
Where have you been all night?
Don't tell me.
1580
01:37:14,612 --> 01:37:18,002
I was right here writing a play
with Mortimer Brewster.
1581
01:37:18,132 --> 01:37:20,851
You're going to have
a long time on that play.
1582
01:37:21,012 --> 01:37:22,445
You're suspended.
1583
01:37:22,532 --> 01:37:24,170
Now go on. Report in.
1584
01:37:24,252 --> 01:37:27,244
Bring him to and find out
where his accomplice is.
1585
01:37:27,332 --> 01:37:29,721
The guy who helped him escape.
He's wanted, too.
1586
01:37:29,812 --> 01:37:30,801
Here.
1587
01:37:31,092 --> 01:37:34,243
I've been after these guys for 48 hours.
Nothing to eat. No sleep.
1588
01:37:34,412 --> 01:37:36,289
No wonder Brooklyn's in the shape it's in.
1589
01:37:36,372 --> 01:37:39,762
With flatheads like you on the force.
Falling for a story like that!
1590
01:37:39,852 --> 01:37:41,888
Thirteen bodies buried in the cellar.
1591
01:37:42,052 --> 01:37:44,327
But there are 13 bodies in the cellar!
1592
01:37:45,292 --> 01:37:47,760
- Who are you?
- I'm President Roosevelt.
1593
01:37:49,452 --> 01:37:52,922
- What the blazes is this?
- He's the one that blows the bugle.
1594
01:37:53,212 --> 01:37:54,725
Howdy, Colonel.
1595
01:37:58,292 --> 01:38:01,648
Colonel, you've blown your last bugle.
Get this guy out of here.
1596
01:38:01,852 --> 01:38:04,127
Dear me! Another yellow-fever victim?
1597
01:38:04,572 --> 01:38:07,086
All the bodies in the cellar
are yellow-fever victims.
1598
01:38:07,172 --> 01:38:10,448
No, Colonel. This is a spy.
We caught him at the White House.
1599
01:38:10,532 --> 01:38:13,000
Take him out and bring him to.
I want to question him.
1600
01:38:13,092 --> 01:38:16,607
- Questioning of spies is my department.
- Hey, you, keep out of that.
1601
01:38:16,932 --> 01:38:20,845
You're forgetting that as President
I am also head of the Secret Service.
1602
01:38:30,812 --> 01:38:31,927
Who are you?
1603
01:38:32,452 --> 01:38:33,601
What's your name?
1604
01:38:33,692 --> 01:38:36,490
Usually, I'm Mortimer Brewster.
But I'm not myself today.
1605
01:38:36,572 --> 01:38:40,451
You're his brother. Look, no argument.
He's got to be put away.
1606
01:38:40,572 --> 01:38:45,088
No arguments, Captain. No arguments.
Just a minute, take it easy. Read this.
1607
01:38:45,172 --> 01:38:47,049
Teddy's going to go to Happy Dale tonight.
1608
01:38:47,132 --> 01:38:50,329
- I'm waiting for Mr. Witherspoon.
- As long as he's going someplace.
1609
01:38:50,412 --> 01:38:52,528
He's scaring the neighbors with that bugle.
1610
01:38:52,612 --> 01:38:55,922
And that cockeyed story
about 13 bodies being...
1611
01:39:04,212 --> 01:39:07,488
I've been without sleep for 48 hours.
I'm liable to think anything.
1612
01:39:07,572 --> 01:39:09,483
I know just how you feel.
1613
01:39:09,652 --> 01:39:11,802
There's people dumb enough
to believe that.
1614
01:39:11,892 --> 01:39:14,964
Last year there was a crazy guy,
started a murder rumor.
1615
01:39:15,092 --> 01:39:17,652
I had to dig up a half acre plot
before I could prove...
1616
01:39:17,732 --> 01:39:19,609
- What's this?
- What's the matter?
1617
01:39:19,692 --> 01:39:21,410
- These papers aren't any good.
- Why not?
1618
01:39:21,492 --> 01:39:23,960
He signed it Theodore Roosevelt!
1619
01:39:28,772 --> 01:39:32,003
- Is your taxi engaged?
- Losing dough every minute. Any offers?
1620
01:39:32,132 --> 01:39:36,125
I'm Mr. Witherspoon of Happy Dale
Sanitarium, I have come to get a Brewster.
1621
01:39:36,212 --> 01:39:39,249
I would like you to drive us back
to the sanitarium.
1622
01:39:40,492 --> 01:39:43,086
I knew this would end up in a nuthouse!
1623
01:39:44,532 --> 01:39:47,569
We like to think of it as a rest home.
1624
01:39:58,052 --> 01:39:59,167
Mr. Brewster?
1625
01:40:02,732 --> 01:40:04,484
Mr. Witherspoon is here.
1626
01:40:08,132 --> 01:40:11,920
Supposing the spy steals this document
and finds the name Roosevelt on it.
1627
01:40:12,052 --> 01:40:15,010
Think what that would mean
to the safety of the nation!
1628
01:40:15,092 --> 01:40:17,560
- No, it's chicanery.
- What is this? Come on!
1629
01:40:17,652 --> 01:40:20,769
- He's come to. He's ready to talk.
- Hold him till I get there.
1630
01:40:20,852 --> 01:40:24,367
Let me explain. The name Brewster
is code for Roosevelt.
1631
01:40:24,772 --> 01:40:26,967
- Code for Roosevelt?
- Take the name Brewster.
1632
01:40:27,052 --> 01:40:29,122
Take away the "B" and what have you got?
1633
01:40:29,212 --> 01:40:31,487
- Rooster.
- And what does a rooster do?
1634
01:40:31,572 --> 01:40:34,882
- Crows.
- Lt crows! Where do you hunt in Africa?
1635
01:40:35,052 --> 01:40:37,247
- On the veldt!
- There you are! "Crowsveldt."
1636
01:40:37,332 --> 01:40:40,529
Ingenious! My compliments
to the boys in the code department.
1637
01:40:40,612 --> 01:40:42,682
That's all right! Do that again for me.
1638
01:40:42,772 --> 01:40:45,286
Never mind! Give me that pen.
1639
01:40:46,052 --> 01:40:47,565
This is fun.
1640
01:40:47,932 --> 01:40:50,241
Now, all I got to get is Witherspoon.
1641
01:40:56,812 --> 01:40:58,564
I'm so glad to see you.
1642
01:41:00,492 --> 01:41:02,289
You will take good care of Teddy?
1643
01:41:02,372 --> 01:41:04,647
- Best of care of him.
- That's fine.
1644
01:41:04,772 --> 01:41:06,524
And no wagon when he leaves.
1645
01:41:06,612 --> 01:41:08,648
Why? To take him away? Never, never.
1646
01:41:08,732 --> 01:41:11,451
Taxicabs. We always...
I have one waiting now.
1647
01:41:11,572 --> 01:41:13,085
It means a great deal to me.
1648
01:41:13,172 --> 01:41:16,130
You will personally see
that Teddy's happy at Happy Dale?
1649
01:41:16,212 --> 01:41:18,567
- He'll be very happy at Happy Dale.
- That's good.
1650
01:41:18,652 --> 01:41:21,644
You know, I sometimes envy
some of our patients, secretly.
1651
01:41:21,732 --> 01:41:24,849
You do? It must be a nice place.
I've never been there.
1652
01:41:24,932 --> 01:41:26,843
You never can tell.
1653
01:41:27,212 --> 01:41:30,090
This is a particularly happy moment
for me tonight.
1654
01:41:30,172 --> 01:41:33,960
- I've never met a dramatic critic before.
- The woods are full of them.
1655
01:41:34,052 --> 01:41:37,488
I have here something that will explain
what we're trying to do.
1656
01:41:37,572 --> 01:41:40,962
- A pamphlet about Happy Dale?
- No, it's a play.
1657
01:41:41,092 --> 01:41:42,764
Something I've been working on.
1658
01:41:42,852 --> 01:41:46,447
It's a dramatization of many incidents
that have happened at Happy Dale.
1659
01:41:46,532 --> 01:41:48,124
Captain! Captain!
1660
01:41:49,412 --> 01:41:53,769
I want you to read this carefully.
I want you to be just as harsh as you like.
1661
01:41:53,852 --> 01:41:55,205
I shan't mind, you know...
1662
01:41:55,292 --> 01:41:57,601
Captain, this is Mr. Witherspoon.
1663
01:42:00,132 --> 01:42:02,009
He'll be very happy at Happy Dale.
1664
01:42:02,092 --> 01:42:04,003
- Come, my boy.
- What is this?
1665
01:42:05,492 --> 01:42:08,723
No, you got it wrong.
This is Captain Rooney.
1666
01:42:08,932 --> 01:42:10,524
The police?
1667
01:42:11,892 --> 01:42:15,805
I'm sure! Here are the papers, all signed.
Now you can take him away.
1668
01:42:15,892 --> 01:42:18,008
I'll be in my office vetoing some bills.
1669
01:42:18,092 --> 01:42:20,367
Mr. President, I have good news for you.
1670
01:42:20,452 --> 01:42:22,761
Your term of office is over.
1671
01:42:23,612 --> 01:42:26,046
- Is this March 4?
- Practically.
1672
01:42:26,132 --> 01:42:27,406
Let's see...
1673
01:42:29,612 --> 01:42:31,842
Now I go on my hunting trip to Africa!
1674
01:42:31,972 --> 01:42:34,532
Well, I must get started immediately.
1675
01:42:40,492 --> 01:42:43,609
Is he trying to move into the White House
before I've moved out?
1676
01:42:43,692 --> 01:42:45,444
Who, Mr. President?
1677
01:42:45,532 --> 01:42:46,362
Taft!
1678
01:42:49,492 --> 01:42:54,361
No, this isn't Mr. Taft.
It's Mr. Witherspoon, your guide to Africa.
1679
01:42:54,692 --> 01:42:56,091
Bully! Bully!
1680
01:42:56,252 --> 01:42:58,766
Wait right here.
I'll bring down my equipment.
1681
01:42:58,852 --> 01:42:59,887
Happy man.
1682
01:43:00,132 --> 01:43:02,123
Goodbye, Aunt Abby, Aunt Martha.
1683
01:43:02,212 --> 01:43:04,885
I'm on my way to Africa.
Isn't it wonderful?
1684
01:43:04,972 --> 01:43:06,007
Charge!
1685
01:43:08,652 --> 01:43:10,483
It's all right, I've got it.
1686
01:43:11,532 --> 01:43:12,442
Oh, dear.
1687
01:43:12,932 --> 01:43:15,810
And Happy Dale is full of staircases.
1688
01:43:20,692 --> 01:43:23,331
You've come to meet Teddy, haven't you?
1689
01:43:23,412 --> 01:43:27,087
No, he's come to take him.
Teddy's been blowing his bugle again.
1690
01:43:27,172 --> 01:43:30,323
No, he can't go now! We won't permit it.
1691
01:43:30,452 --> 01:43:32,841
We promise to take his bugle
away from him.
1692
01:43:32,932 --> 01:43:36,163
- We won't be separated from Teddy.
- I'm sorry.
1693
01:43:37,692 --> 01:43:39,808
How can you allow this? You promised.
1694
01:43:39,892 --> 01:43:43,089
Brewster's got nothing to do with this.
The law is the law!
1695
01:43:43,212 --> 01:43:45,726
Teddy's committed himself
and he's got to go.
1696
01:43:46,572 --> 01:43:51,566
- If he's going, we're going, too!
- Yes, you'll have to take us with him.
1697
01:43:52,452 --> 01:43:54,602
Why not? Why not, indeed?
1698
01:43:55,852 --> 01:44:00,004
It's sweet of them, but impossible.
We never take sane people at Happy Dale.
1699
01:44:04,372 --> 01:44:08,524
These little sane people will get lost
in the shuffle. You could arrange that.
1700
01:44:08,612 --> 01:44:11,490
Just put them in
and they'll get all mixed up.
1701
01:44:11,732 --> 01:44:14,007
Too dangerous. Dissension, jealousy.
1702
01:44:17,492 --> 01:44:19,403
Now, let's be sensible, ladies.
1703
01:44:19,532 --> 01:44:22,763
Here I am wasting my time
when I could be doing some serious work.
1704
01:44:22,852 --> 01:44:25,241
There are still murders
to be solved in Brooklyn.
1705
01:44:25,332 --> 01:44:28,483
It ain't only his bugle blowing.
Things are going to get worse.
1706
01:44:28,572 --> 01:44:31,211
We're liable to have to dig up your cellar.
1707
01:44:31,292 --> 01:44:32,566
Our cellar?
1708
01:44:33,772 --> 01:44:37,287
Teddy's been telling around
there's 13 bodies buried in the cellar.
1709
01:44:37,372 --> 01:44:39,727
There are 13 bodies in our cellar.
1710
01:44:45,412 --> 01:44:46,208
What?
1711
01:44:46,292 --> 01:44:49,648
Yes. You just ask our nephew, Mortimer.
1712
01:44:54,652 --> 01:44:55,641
Charge!
1713
01:45:01,812 --> 01:45:03,245
Isn't that amazing?
1714
01:45:04,452 --> 01:45:05,965
You behave yourself.
1715
01:45:06,052 --> 01:45:09,124
You know very well there are
13 bodies down in our cellar.
1716
01:45:09,212 --> 01:45:11,362
Certainly there's 13 bodies in the cellar.
1717
01:45:11,452 --> 01:45:15,161
And there are hundreds more
up in the attic, Captain!
1718
01:45:19,372 --> 01:45:21,602
- What is this?
- You mustn't mind Mortimer.
1719
01:45:21,692 --> 01:45:23,603
- How about it?
- I'll be right there.
1720
01:45:23,692 --> 01:45:25,523
He's been a little strange all day.
1721
01:45:25,612 --> 01:45:29,241
Right now I wouldn't know what is
and what ain't strange anymore.
1722
01:45:29,332 --> 01:45:32,210
- I'll look in that cellar.
- I'll tell you what we'll do.
1723
01:45:32,292 --> 01:45:35,682
I'll bring my bodies from the attic
and you get yours from the cellar...
1724
01:45:35,772 --> 01:45:40,482
and we'll get them all together,
and we'll send them to Happy Dale.
1725
01:45:42,372 --> 01:45:46,001
No, you wouldn't have to dig.
The graves are all marked.
1726
01:45:46,412 --> 01:45:49,324
- We put flowers on them every Sunday.
- Flowers?
1727
01:45:49,412 --> 01:45:51,926
Sure, I put neon lights on mine.
1728
01:45:53,692 --> 01:45:55,330
Humor them, humor them.
1729
01:45:56,052 --> 01:45:57,007
Smile.
1730
01:45:59,412 --> 01:46:01,687
There's one down there, a Mr. Spenalzo...
1731
01:46:01,772 --> 01:46:02,921
Hasn't got it yet.
1732
01:46:03,012 --> 01:46:05,287
Who doesn't belong here
and has to leave.
1733
01:46:05,372 --> 01:46:09,126
- But the other 12 are our gentlemen.
- Your gentlemen?
1734
01:46:09,212 --> 01:46:12,090
You'd like mine better.
None of mine are gentlemen.
1735
01:46:13,252 --> 01:46:15,766
- You mustn't mind him at all.
- He got married today.
1736
01:46:15,852 --> 01:46:19,162
"There is a Happy Dale far, far away
1737
01:46:19,252 --> 01:46:21,208
"There is a Happy"
1738
01:46:25,372 --> 01:46:27,328
He got it. It's amazing.
1739
01:46:27,932 --> 01:46:30,366
Don't you think you can find room
for the ladies?
1740
01:46:30,452 --> 01:46:31,805
Just the ladies?
1741
01:46:33,372 --> 01:46:35,090
Just the ladies!
1742
01:46:36,012 --> 01:46:38,526
- How about it?
- They'd have to be committed.
1743
01:46:39,212 --> 01:46:41,248
Teddy committed himself. Couldn't they?
1744
01:46:41,332 --> 01:46:44,005
- All they have to do is sign the papers.
- Certainly.
1745
01:46:44,092 --> 01:46:47,129
If we can go with Teddy,
we'll sign the papers.
1746
01:46:47,212 --> 01:46:48,406
Where are they?
1747
01:46:48,492 --> 01:46:50,483
I have them, ladies, right here.
1748
01:46:50,692 --> 01:46:53,684
Sign them up, will you?
I want this all cleaned up.
1749
01:46:53,812 --> 01:46:57,487
I'm going out to talk to that spy.
Maybe I can understand him.
1750
01:46:57,732 --> 01:46:59,609
Thirteen bodies in the cellar.
1751
01:46:59,732 --> 01:47:01,370
Ladies, if you'll sign right here.
1752
01:47:12,252 --> 01:47:13,651
- Here?
- Yes, please.
1753
01:47:13,772 --> 01:47:15,808
It's on the right-hand side there.
1754
01:47:15,892 --> 01:47:18,122
I'm really looking forward to going.
1755
01:47:18,212 --> 01:47:20,521
The neighborhood here has changed so.
1756
01:47:20,652 --> 01:47:23,803
Yes. Especially since they won
that old pennant thing.
1757
01:47:26,772 --> 01:47:29,332
Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.
We've overlooked something.
1758
01:47:29,412 --> 01:47:32,848
It's absolutely compulsory that we have
the signature of a physician.
1759
01:47:32,932 --> 01:47:34,047
A doctor.
1760
01:47:34,172 --> 01:47:36,732
Dr. Einstein! Come here
and sign some papers, please.
1761
01:47:36,812 --> 01:47:38,803
- Good night.
- Come here, Dr. Einstein.
1762
01:47:38,892 --> 01:47:40,086
- A doctor?
- Yes.
1763
01:47:40,212 --> 01:47:43,761
Dr. Einstein almost operated on me earlier.
Come along, Doctor.
1764
01:47:45,852 --> 01:47:48,491
Now, here. Just sign right here,
please, Doctor.
1765
01:47:48,572 --> 01:47:51,086
- Were you leaving, Doctor?
- Yes, please.
1766
01:47:51,172 --> 01:47:53,970
Aren't you going to wait for Jonathan?
1767
01:47:54,092 --> 01:47:56,890
I don't think we go to the same place.
1768
01:47:57,292 --> 01:48:00,568
Hello, Mac. We picked up that guy
that's wanted in lndiana.
1769
01:48:00,652 --> 01:48:03,644
His accomplice's description is
on the circular, on the desk.
1770
01:48:03,732 --> 01:48:04,767
Read it to me, will you?
1771
01:48:07,252 --> 01:48:08,446
About 40.
1772
01:48:08,932 --> 01:48:10,411
Five-foot-three.
1773
01:48:10,732 --> 01:48:12,245
One hundred and forty pounds.
1774
01:48:12,892 --> 01:48:14,166
Pop eyes.
1775
01:48:15,652 --> 01:48:17,643
Talks with a German accent.
1776
01:48:17,972 --> 01:48:19,405
Poses as a doctor.
1777
01:48:19,612 --> 01:48:21,091
Okay, Mac. Thanks.
1778
01:48:21,212 --> 01:48:24,363
It's all right. The doctor
has completed the signatures.
1779
01:48:24,492 --> 01:48:25,686
That's great!
1780
01:48:25,852 --> 01:48:29,242
Thanks, Doc.
You've done Brooklyn a great service.
1781
01:48:34,212 --> 01:48:36,009
But Dr. Einstein!
1782
01:48:39,332 --> 01:48:42,642
- Now, Mr. Witherspoon...
- You're Witherspoon, I'm Brewster.
1783
01:48:42,772 --> 01:48:45,366
It's contagious, yes. It's your turn.
1784
01:48:45,732 --> 01:48:47,768
- Don't play games...
- You sign.
1785
01:48:47,892 --> 01:48:49,928
You sign as next of kin.
1786
01:48:50,292 --> 01:48:53,682
Why didn't you say so?
I'm all confused. Don't mind me.
1787
01:48:55,532 --> 01:48:56,806
Mr. Witherport.
1788
01:48:57,252 --> 01:48:59,083
- Spoon.
- Here.
1789
01:48:59,692 --> 01:49:01,011
Come up and pack my duffel.
1790
01:49:03,292 --> 01:49:04,441
Duffel?
1791
01:49:04,532 --> 01:49:07,092
Pack his duffel. He's President, you know?
1792
01:49:07,452 --> 01:49:09,363
And bring along my bugle.
1793
01:49:11,132 --> 01:49:12,247
President.
1794
01:49:21,172 --> 01:49:22,491
Don't charge!
1795
01:49:35,172 --> 01:49:38,130
We're really very worried about something.
1796
01:49:38,892 --> 01:49:41,486
Now, darling, don't be worried.
1797
01:49:41,972 --> 01:49:45,044
- Me too, Mortimer.
- Well, of course, darling.
1798
01:49:45,892 --> 01:49:47,883
You'll both be very happy at Happy Dale.
1799
01:49:47,972 --> 01:49:52,170
We're very happy about the whole thing,
but that's just it.
1800
01:49:52,492 --> 01:49:54,642
We don't want anything to go wrong.
1801
01:49:56,492 --> 01:49:59,165
Will they investigate those signatures?
1802
01:50:00,172 --> 01:50:03,960
- They won't look up Dr. Einstein...
- But it's not his signature, dear.
1803
01:50:04,092 --> 01:50:05,923
- It's yours.
- Mine?
1804
01:50:06,012 --> 01:50:09,129
You see, you signed as next of kin.
1805
01:50:09,412 --> 01:50:13,451
- What's wrong about that, darling?
- Martha, you tell him.
1806
01:50:15,492 --> 01:50:16,766
Well, dear.
1807
01:50:16,852 --> 01:50:20,606
- What, dear?
- You're not really a Brewster.
1808
01:50:21,932 --> 01:50:24,366
- What?
- Your mother came to us as a cook.
1809
01:50:24,492 --> 01:50:26,722
And you were born
about three months afterwards.
1810
01:50:26,812 --> 01:50:29,645
And she was such a sweet woman
and such a good cook...
1811
01:50:29,732 --> 01:50:33,168
we didn't want to lose her.
So brother married her.
1812
01:50:33,412 --> 01:50:35,403
Your real father was a cook, too.
1813
01:50:35,532 --> 01:50:38,569
He was a chef on a tramp steamer.
1814
01:50:41,812 --> 01:50:44,963
You mean I'm not really a Brewster?
1815
01:50:46,892 --> 01:50:49,406
- Darling!
- Don't feel so badly about it.
1816
01:50:49,532 --> 01:50:52,524
I'm sure it won't make any difference
to Elaine.
1817
01:51:01,212 --> 01:51:04,170
Where are you? Can you hear me?
I'm not really a Brewster!
1818
01:51:04,252 --> 01:51:06,049
I'm the son of a sea cook!
1819
01:51:12,252 --> 01:51:14,368
It's true! I saw them. It's true.
1820
01:51:14,492 --> 01:51:17,006
It's true! There are 13 bodies down there!
1821
01:51:17,172 --> 01:51:18,844
But I saw them...
1822
01:51:20,372 --> 01:51:21,885
What's all this screaming about?
1823
01:51:21,972 --> 01:51:25,009
- But I saw them...
- It's way past her bedtime.
1824
01:51:26,492 --> 01:51:27,607
Quiet!
1825
01:51:31,052 --> 01:51:33,168
- But, Mortimer...
- Goodbye!
1826
01:51:33,252 --> 01:51:35,482
- 'Bye.
- Goodbye, darling!
1827
01:51:37,532 --> 01:51:40,649
- What is all this?
- They're going on their honeymoon.
1828
01:51:41,052 --> 01:51:43,008
They're off to a flying start.
1829
01:51:49,292 --> 01:51:50,691
I really did see...
1830
01:51:51,292 --> 01:51:53,328
You'll own two cabs!
1831
01:51:54,012 --> 01:51:56,128
I mean the meter!
1832
01:51:56,452 --> 01:51:57,965
Oh, Mortimer.
1833
01:52:08,492 --> 01:52:10,881
We're going to Niagara Falls.
Call me a cab, dear.
1834
01:52:10,972 --> 01:52:12,325
Yes, love.
1835
01:52:13,372 --> 01:52:14,930
But, Mr. Brewster!
1836
01:52:15,052 --> 01:52:18,283
I'm not a Brewster.
I'm a son of a sea cook.
1837
01:52:19,172 --> 01:52:20,207
Charge!
1838
01:52:22,132 --> 01:52:25,124
I'm not a cabdriver. I'm a coffeepot!
147246
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