All language subtitles for Psych.S01E01.WEBRip.x264-FGT

** [ Jukebox: Pop ]

Did you do
your homework?
Uh-huh.

Finish those beets?

Yep.

Can I have
the fudge cake?
Close your eyes.

- Dad, I don't want to--
- Now.

Which letter is out
in the exit sign?

The "X."

What the color
is the vinyl?
What's vinyl?

It's the stuff these seats
are covered in.
Purple.

Maroon. Close enough.
Manager's name.

Who?
She's wearing
a name tag.

The woman standing
at the front door
when we first walked in.

You saw her.

Marie.

Can I have the cake now?

How many hats?

Come on, Dad!

Shawn, you want a piece of cake?
How many hats are in the room?

Does a beanie count?
What do you think?

Three.

You didn't describe them.

That's not fair.

Time's almost up, Shawn.

One has a flower--the one
the lady's wearing.

One has a picture
of some kind of lion

on the weird guy
with the crooked tooth.

The last one is...

on the chef.
What about the beanie?

A beanie's a cap,
not a hat.

All right,
open your eyes.

Thank you.

Wow.
That's amazing.

It's adequate.

Get him his cake.

I guess I know what
you're going to be
when you grow up.

Oh, I'm never
gonna grow up, ma'am.

Nice place.

Thank you.

[weather report on TV]

I knew you were gonna be
my best table.

[moans]

(female news reporter)
...about voicing her concerns

regarding the department's
long-time policies.

Joe, do the police
have any leads at this time?

We're at a loss.

We really don't know
what else to do.

Been a tough few weeks.

Basically
run out of ideas.

Hopefully the police
will be able
to crack this one for us.

Come on.
(reporter)
Closing the books

on the Visions break-ins

could be just
the olive branch needed

to set things
in the right direction.

Ooh.

What are you doing?

I'm calling the police.

Any particular reason?

I think
I just closed a case.

You didn't tell me
you're a cop.

Oh, no, no, no.
Definitely not a cop.

Does that disappoint you?

I just thought
you might have handcuffs.

Oh, I have handcuffs.
Hello.

(woman)
Santa Barbara
Police Department.

Uh, it's the store manager.
He did it.

Pardon me?
Uh, the stereo robberies.

At the Visions chain store.

He's on Channel 8 news
right now.

Uh, his hands.
Nervous tic--dead giveaway.

And he won't look at
the reporter in the eyes.

My name?
My name is Shawn...Spencer.

(woman)
And is there anything else
today?

No.
That's gonna do it.

[laughs]

Actually, the tags
on the news van have expired.

But that's completely
unrelated.

[girl squeals]

Hello, officer.

But you gotta go.
It was awesome.

Well, yeah.

Yeah.

Hi.
It was amazing.

I'm Shawn Spencer.

And the other thing is...

Well, no, I'm not
going to pay for it.

Oh--oh, no, no.
No, that's not for me.

Uh, I'm here
for a commendation.
I called in a...tip.

Oh, no, Rachelle,
I can't pay for that.

Here's the thing,
these are new pants.

Clearly you feel
very strongly about this.

Right.

$80 is a lot
for a reading,

but she was astounding.

I mean, she knew
about granny's childhood

and the curios
she left Bobby.

I mean, I could literally
feel her spirit in the room.

Get out of here.

You know,
I have the same tattoo.

They spelled "bloodthirsty"
wrong on mine.

Can you believe it?

I cannot believe
you didn't test that out first.

One, two, three,
one, two, three,

One, two, three,
one, two, three...

What'd you do, bust up
your ex-wife's car?

Her new boyfriend's.

- That'll teach her.
- They got no witnesses.

Sweet.

Might want to brush
the shards

of taillight
off your sleeve.

Just a tip.

Gee, thanks, guy.

Sure.

Right this way,
Mr. Spencer.

So when do I get
my money?

Money?
Yeah.

The reward.

You guys arrested
the store manager.

Am I right?

Why don't you let us ask
the questions for awhile?

Okay.

So, which questions
might those be?

Ooh, I don't know.

Like where were you
the night of the last robbery?

I was robbing
a stereo shop.

I wasn't.
I don't know.

I guess I was doing
the same thing you were doing,

not solving crime.

You're not helping
your case here.

My case.

Wait, wait, wait.
I'm actually a suspect?

Oh, you're our lead suspect.

I gave you the guy.

He had a partner.

I have to find that guy?
I'm confused.

When do you start
chipping in?

See, your information
was good.

So good, it could only
have come from the inside.

Inside of what?

Look, I've called in
dozens of tips, okay?

Just check it out.
I did.

I checked out a whole
lot of stuff.

Like, oh, you're
currently unemployed.

You've never held a job
for more than six months.

And you have
a criminal record.

I was 18.

Oh. 18?
Well, that makes it okay.

Let me just scratch this out.

I borrowed a car.

You stole a car.
To impress a girl.

Look, forgive us,
Mr. Spencer,

if this seems
far-fetched.

Would it help at all

if I told you that she had
a bit of a reputation

and I was 0 for...
high school?

Okay, fine. There were
extenuating circumstances.

The arresting officer
was my father.

He was trying
to teach me a lesson.

Did you learn it?

I learned I hated
my father.

So sure.

Pardon me if I'm just
a little skeptical.

Believable as it is that you
solved all these crimes...

I'm sorry, what was it?

Watching the local Channel 8
news reports.

I confess.
That's not true.

Sometimes
I watch Channel 5.

I prefer Channel 8.
The weather girl, adorable.

So you're telling us

that you can read guilt
off of TV interviews.

Can't you?
Don't you try and
trivialize police work.

I think you're doing
a bang-up job of that
all by yourself.

You can't
keep me here, guys.

I know my rights.
Good.

Then you know
you have the right

to remain silent.

You have the right
to an attorney.

If you cannot
afford one,

one will be
appointed to you.

Wait, wait, wait.
You're serious?

A few hours
in a holding cell

might jog your memory.

(Lucinda)
Just give us a reason,
Mr. Spencer.

That's all we need.

How did you get
this information?

(Lassiter)
No. It is too late
for that.

Officer Allen,
book him.

Book him?

Oh, come on.
Cuffs?

What, for the walk
back to the lobby?

Or you could give us
a plausible explanation.

I--

Okay.
Okay.

Fine.
You win.

I got the information
because...

I am a psychic.

[drops cuffs]

Get him
out of here.
Oh, boy!

Your grandma
would be so proud.

You spoke to her?

I did.
She's...

safe, comfortable.

She wants you to stop
spending

all your money
on those charlatans.

The palm readers.

The palm readers.

Okay, just to be clear,

um, you're claiming
to be a psychic, Mr. Spencer.

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

How else would I know that you
two are sleeping together?

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One...
When's the wedding?

May 3rd. Wait.
How'd you know?

I'm getting dance lessons
for a wedding reception.

And you

are getting good.

Wow.
That's amazing.

Oh, come on.
Who's buying this?

I got it!

Go to detention room
number two.

Shake down your vandal.

You'll find all the evidence
you need...

All the evidence
is in his left shoe.

We'll be back here
in three minutes

with my own cuffs.

[exhales]

Whoa.

I'm getting--I am getting...

The letter L.

Lulu, her dog.

Is there anything else
she said?

Uh, there's suddenly a very,
very negative presence here.

It's blocking me.

It was a lucky guess.

Lucky guess?
He planted it.
I don't know.

His alibi checks.

Question.

Do I pay taxes
on reward money?

I'll find out.

Please feel free
to call anytime.

You know I will.
Magic touch.

Oop.

Doctor.

Not so fast,
Mr. Spencer.

Karen Vick,

Interim Police Chief.

I know.

Heard about
what you did in there.

Oh, you're welcome.

That wasn't the phrase
I was going to use.

I was going to say
improbable.

Possible, yet unlikely.

Look, it's hard to explain.

I'm gifted.

I was born that way.

I knew your father.
He was a good cop.

You're nothing like him.

I take that
as a compliment, ma'am.

Don't ever
call me ma'am.

Am I still free to go?

Not exactly.

You familiar
with the McCallum family?

McCallum.

Yeah,
they own half the hill.

Well, there's been
a kidnapping.

Oh, come on. I had
nothing to do with that.

Would you like to?

The Feds are itching
to jump in on this case,

and I need to make
some progress.

What I need is a miracle.

Or a facsimile of one.

Oh.

I see, I see.

Well, I make $1,200 a day.

It's a try-out.
That's what
I meant to say.

This is pro bono.
Something for you.

And if this psychic thing
is a scam...

we will prosecute.

You know hindering
a police investigation

is a criminal offense.

Sounds good.

We're on the same team now.

Kidnappers beware!

[chuckles nervously]

[phone ringing]

(woman)
Central Coast Pharmaceuticals.
Can you hold, please?

I have a job for you.

I already have a job.

They're paying you
to play video games?

How do you do that?

Come on. Left hand space bar.
Right hand arrow keys.

Gus, you should ask me
a challenging question

every once in awhile
just for kicks.

I can't go anywhere.

I'm behind on my route.

I got new samples
of ceromoxicyllan.

Oh, man.
I'm sorry.

I didn't realize
the new butt cream had come in.

So you're not interested
in hearing about doing

the thing we've been dreaming
of doing since we were eight.

I've got us the last job
we will ever need.

[laughs]

Shawn, you've had 57 jobs
since we left high school.

Yes, I have.
And they were all fun.

But this one takes the cake.

Oh, yeah? Better than
your acupuncture clinic?

I didn't realize
experience was necessary.

What about the summer you spent
driving the wiener mobile?

I did that for the hot dogs.

Look, Gus,
all those jobs I took

because I wanted
the experience.

But then I mastered it
and I moved on.

But this job has a little
bit of everything.

Come with me.

Uh, no.

I'm never doing anything
blindly with you again.

I learned that
at the Mexican border twice.

Okay, this is
hard to explain,

but I'm going
to give it a shot.

You and I...

are opening our own
private detective agency.

Oh.
See?

No explanation necessary.

Let me get my coat.

But you're not
getting your coat.

Uh, no. No, Shawn.
I'm not.

All right, you want to sweat
the details? Fine.

The cops think
I'm a psychic,

and now we are investigating
a kidnapping.

You're serious?

Yes, I am serious!

Six days ago,
Camden McCallum, Jr.,

sole male heir
to McCallum Textiles,

was seen being forced
into his Range Rover

at the municipal
dog park.

No one's seen him
or the dog since.

They took the dog?

You see what I mean?

I need you.

I need you to--to write
stuff down.

'Cause you know how I zone out
when other people talk.

Just for today?

Just today.

Oh, and you know what,

you should bring
your sample case

because some
of those forensics guys--

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

There's going to be
forensics guys there?

(Shawn)
All right, pay attention.

18 months ago,
Camden McCallum ran
his father's cigarette boat

into the Morro Bay Aquarium.

That was right after
he got caught

with that hockey player's wife.
Yeah, I remember that.

Guy hadn't been out
of the papers in five years.

Since that day, nothing.

Not a single news story.

Not so much as
a dented motorcycle.

Okay.

What do you think?

I think Camden McCallum

is too good
at what he does to stop.

Not cold turkey anyway.

Beautiful women,

fast cars.

Doesn't add up.
Something happened.

How should we
introduce ourselves?

Don't say "psychic."
They'll shut you off.

Say something vague.

Like "alternative
tactics division."

How about the Bureau
of Magic and Spell Casting?

Where are you going?

You're rooting
through the trash?

Just for a second.

You are without doubt
the worst detective

I've ever seen.

Gus, everything you need
is right in front of you.

You just have
to pay attention.
Oh, yeah?

Look at this.

Berenson's brand.

That is the highest quality
dog food on the market.

Perfect.
They pamper their pets.

The case is almost solved.

This stuff
is really expensive.

No additives.
No preservatives.

Why would you possibly open
three bags simultaneously

when you only have
one dog?

They're rich.

They waste money.

Oh, my God.

What?

This CD case
is totally nice!

Why would someone
throw this out?

Here.
Put this in the car.

Inside.
Now.

Is it entirely too early
for me to have a theory?

Can you at least wait
until we see some evidence?

I suppose I could
if it would make you happier.

Whoa.

Just act natural.

They know.
How could they know?

They know.
We haven't said
anything yet.

They know.
I can feel it.

Oh, you're
a psychic now too?

You're not a psychic.

Gus, let's just be clear
on one thing.

The only way
they can absolutely prove

that I am not a psychic
is if I tell them.

And I can guarantee you,

that is the one thing
I will never do.

Ooh. Ooh ooh.
Check this out.

You got a lead?

No.
But look at this girl.

She must be the sister.

God, she's incredible.

Kind of have a few other things
going on right now, Shawn.

Oh, Gus, look.

Look how she went
from this awkward stage

with this really
unfortunate perm

to this beautiful,
amazing girl.

She's a late bloomer,

but what does--
what does that mean?

That means depth
of character.

Gus, she kayaks.

[Gus breathing deeply
in and out]

What, are you
Lamaze breathing?

It helps.

I cover a few
birthing centers.

Just let me know
when the contractions
are two minutes apart.

She reads Vonnegut.

Wow.

She's an aviatrix.

Gus, I bet this girl
is spectacular.

(Katarina)
Really now.

I'm Katarina McCallum.

I'm...thoroughly embarrassed.

I'll bet you are.

I'm sorry.

I'm Shawn Spencer.

The chief called me in.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Thank you for saying that.

I have the same feeling.

What makes you think so?

I'm a psychic.

They called in a psychic?

I have very unique
and special abilities.

Well, Shawn Spencer,

if you need to ask
any questions--

Just one.

Do you currently have
a boyfriend?

Is that pertinent?

It very well could be.

Uh, well, yes.

I'm sort of seeing someone.
Nothing serious though.

Nothing too serious.
That's good.

That's very good.

I think that's it for now.

I'll be in touch.

How do you luck into
these women all the time?

Gus, please.
I am a professional.

Gathering information.

What are we looking for?

Pictures
of that Katarina girl.

Preferably at the beach.

Maybe on her way to yoga.

Or at a Halloween party
dressed as a cat.

What are those for?
It's for anxiety.

Is it ethical to sample
your own samples?

Mr. Spencer,
the sketch artist
is here for you.

The sketch artist.

The chief insisted.

Interim chief.

Yeah.
You call her that.

I'll be right back.

Oh, yeah.
That's nice.

Yeah, with the shading.
The shading's nice.

Uh,

here's a question.

Do you think you could
have him looking further

to the left--his eye line
further to the left?

Shawn.
Yeah?

Can I talk to you
for a second?

Yeah, yeah.

So just more to the left,
and I think we're there.

What's up?
What are you doing?

Just--just work with me.

Tell them your blocked
or something.

I'm gonna have
to use that later.

Uh, how we looking
over there?

Oh, that's great.

Now look how good that is.

See how he's looking off
to the left

like he sees
something?

As far as the hair goes,

can we get the bangs
wispier

like he's trying
to compensate for, like, maybe

he's thinning
in the back

and sort of got
a swoop?

[Miss McCallum screams]

Oh, my gosh!

It's Bill!
Oh, it's Bill!

Oh, honey, come here quick.

Bill's the kidnapper!

Um, um, um...

That's the exact cap
I gave him.

Okay, everybody.
Stop.

No.

No.
I'm sorry.

Bill is not the kidnapper.
Not the kidnapper.

Bill is just a horrible
human being.

Who is "Bill"? I'm getting,
uh, multiple women.

Is he a bigamist?

Pimp?

Does he sell children
on the black market?

Mr. McCallum,
I'm Shawn Spencer,

the psychic.

Well, thank you
for coming.

If there's anything
I can do...

I can't imagine how difficult
this must be for you, sir.

Nothing can prepare you
for something like this

knowing you can't
do anything.

Call me any time
with any questions.

Uh, actually,
I do have one question, sir.

How did he feel
about the dog?

Well, he loved
that damn thing.

Didn't do anything
without it.

Yeah.
That'll do it.

Thank you, sir.

Does he like his dog?

That's how
you investigate?

I think
we're making progress.

Since you've been here,

all you've done
is dig through the trash,

hit on the victim's sister,

and falsely accuse
her boyfriend.

Gus, he is not
her boyfriend.

She made a point
to say they're free
to see other people.

Whatever you say, Shawn.
Have a blast.

I quit.

You can't quit.
We just got started.

(Gus)
Watch me.

Gus, you're gonna
miss everything!

It's gonna be fun!

[starts engine]

Gus, get back here!

Fine.

I'll solve this case
by myself.

[door closing]

[floorboards creaking]

[objects clattering]

[machine whirring]

[cabinet opens and closes]

Aaaah!

Gus.

I hate to imagine what
the rest of your plan was.

How did you get in?

Far less effective
on a second-floor landing.

What do you want, Shawn?

Can I ask you something
about the case, please?
No.

I was right.

I'm done, Shawn.

I don't want
to commit felonies

and perjury
and pretend to be--

You're dying to know
who kidnapped him.

I know you are.
No.
No, I'm not.

Because I don't believe
that you can solve a crime

the cops can't by simply
walking through a house.

Fine.
Fine.

All right, whatever.
Who kidnapped him?

Nobody.

Nobody!
Excellent.

Call the chief at home.

Tell her
the crime is solved.

Because apparently, we just
imagined the whole thing.

Gus, nobody kidnapped him

because he did it himself.

Come on.
See for yourself.

Okay.
Here's the thing.

Camden didn't offer

to clean up his act
voluntarily.

Oh, no.

Daddy threatened
to cut him off permanently.

This was about
18 months ago.

18 months?

But wait. There's more.
He had help.

Who?

This guy on the end.

Malcolm Orso.
Only member of this crew

that didn't go on to fame
or fortune or rehab.

The cops must've
talked to him.

Nope.

Malcolm hasn't been seen
with Camden for quite some time.

To be exact...

18 months.

Almost to the day.

Gus, he has been
planning this thing

for over a year.

Shawn, this is good.

Yeah.

Where did you get this?

Katarina McCallum's room.

You didn't go
in her room.

Gus, I needed a ride.
She hadn't eaten yet.

One thing led to another,
and we ended up sharing
a milk shake.

Whoa, wait a second.
Wait a second.

You're dating her?

No.
I'm not "dating".

Yes, you are.

It's not exclusive.

What?

Gus, come on!

Put some clothes on.
This is gonna be fun.

Let's go! I'm driving.
Where are your keys?

Never mind.
I got 'em.

Ooh.

Should I slice
this up for the road?

Well, we're off
to a banner start.

Just let me do
the talking.

Morning, gentlemen.

Hello, officer.

What's this?

Whoops. It's my dad's
old police business card.

Must've stuck in back there.

Guess I've been
carrying that

in my wallet for ages.

Can never be too careful
coming from a family of cops.

Henry Spencer's your dad?
Yes. Yes, he is.

Well, how's old
Henry doing?

Oh, you know Henry.
He's great.

Retired.
Living in Miami.

I saw Henry three weeks ago

at the Home Depot.

Yeah. Yeah, that--
That sounds about right.

He popped into down
for a few days.

Grabbed some supplies.
Some wood.

Said he'd been back
for over a year.

And now he's back

running around
doing his thing

Henry style.

Tell your dad
the Kingfisher says hello.

Will do.
Thank you, officer.

Your dad's back
at the house?

Apparently.

Dude, I'm so excited.

This is my first use
of spy technology.

Yeah, it would seem
much cooler

if it didn't have
Sports Illustrated
pasted on the side.

Hmm.
Came with the subscription.

Are you going to tell me
why we're here?

This is the Orso
family cabin

where young Malcolm
and young Camden

spent all their summers
growing up.

Wouldn't the police
have checked this out?

Malcolm is so far out
on the periphery
of Camden's life,

he's not
on the witness list.

This is a great plan.

Camden McCallum deserves
to be commended.

Maybe you should
date him too.
Maybe I will.

Let me see.

Let's see here.

Oh, no way.
What?

It's Camden's dog.

Get--Dude! Dude!
Oh, my gosh.

I can't believe
we did this.

This is unbelievable.
What?

Okay, okay, okay.
Wait. Okay, wait.

Let's call the cops.

No, no, no.
Let's call the Chief.

That's what we're gonna do.

Call the Chief.
Yeah.

No, no, no.
No, no, no.

Gus, Gus,
we don't call anyone.

What?
We go home.

Then later at headquarters,
I suddenly and miraculously
have a vision.

A vision?

A vision of stuff we saw.

Like the road sign
with the two bullet holes.

Like the red kayak,
the yellow kayak,

and the highway
with numbers.

Oh, I'm seeing--
What am I seeing?

8-3-1.
We're on Highway 138.

Exactly. In the spirit world,
things get jumbled
and out of sequence.

But my premonition
becomes clear

when we all jump
in the squad car together.

By the way, let me sit next
to that junior detective.

Shawn, please.

And alas,
we lead them here.

Then finally, we both put
on our surprise faces

as I guide them to the cabin
for the "first time."

This is mine.

[feigned gasp]

What do you got?

Gus, that's horrible.

It doesn't convey
surprise at all.

Gus!

All right, let me do
the talking.

Is there even an option?

I want a lot of witnesses
for my miraculous vision.

There they go.
Detectives!

Detectives!
Detectives!

We have a breakthrough.

It is very important.

I also have something
important. I call it lunch.
Make an appointment.

But this is--
You don't have my interest.
You don't have my ear.

Find a beat cop.
Tell your story.
Maybe I'll read the report.

Good day, gentlemen.
After you.

Detective!

Don't eat the chicken.

Don't eat the chicken?

He's got your number.

He's got nothing.

I'll have
the chicken enchilada.

Extra chicken.
Okay.

I'll have
the cheese quesadilla.

Coward.

You're mad because
he pegged us as a couple.

He was tipped off.
Did you tell anyone?

Why would I tell anyone?
Let everyone think

I'm working my way up
the ladder the hard way?

You're barely separated.
It's been five months.

So the plan was to annoy them
into believing you.

Billy Camp's
working the grill.

So?

So?

Billy Camp has the worst
hay fever I've ever seen.

Feel this wind?

Feel it?

[Billy sneezing]

I will be right back.

Here we go.
Act natural.

Okay.
What is it?

Oh!

Oh, my.

This is great.
Now what?

Does anyone have
any binoculars?

No. No. You see,
we don't carry binoculars.

Ooh, never mind.

I found some
here in my pocket.

There it is!
Just like I saw it.

Want to tell me
what I'm looking for, please?

Uh, I'm--I'm not
sure exactly.

I see a bone?

What, a human bone?

No.
No.

Rawhide?
And a ball.

Holy crap.

Call for backup.

What?

What do you see,
Detective?

[siren wails]

I can't believe
they won't let us in.
This is lame.

And you were so polite
when you asked
the S.W.A.T. team

to issue you the Luger.

Just make sure you act
in awe of me

when they come to say
I was completely right.

Oh, and maybe
a little afraid

like my powers could possibly
be used for evil.

Oh, watch out!
Watch out!

Ha ha ha.
For what, its tongue?

That thing could be vicious.

Yeah. Diabolical
with its calculated

decoy tail wagging.

There's blood
on its whiskers!

That's not blood.
That's Snausages.

Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure.

Either that or he just mauled
a mountain lion.

Come on, Gus.

Mr. Spencer, follow me.

Now if there's any press,

make sure you mention
our agency.

We don't have an agency.

Yes, we do.
I applied for a DBA on-line.

Which reminds me,
we're going to need a name.

Mind Masters,
already taken.

Make sure you tell them
that we do private cases.

'Cause I bet the department's
only going to be good

for one or two months.

You tell them.
I can't.

I'm secretive,
mysterious, enigmatic.

Delusional.

Remember, act surprised.

Wow.

It is just like
I saw before.

[barking]

[whimpering]

Pardon me.

Ladies.

Gentlemen.

[high-pitched screaming]

The department
has been approved

to call on you again,
Mr. Spencer.

Even though this case didn't
end up exactly the way we hoped,
I thank you for your services.

You were invaluable.
Thank you.

Thank you.

You're making a huge mistake.
This case isn't closed.

Pardon me?

Murder, suicide?

Come on.
You're buying that?

I'm not buying anything.
Those are the facts.

I'll buy it.

I understand.

I do.

You'd like
to shut the book

on this as quickly
as possible.

It's fine.

- They had a falling out.
- Before they got the money?

Why? What did they have
to fight about
before they got the cash?

Might I remind you,
Mr. Spencer,
you are not a detective.

I just need to speak
to the witnesses again.

The McCallum family
has been through enough,

and this conversation
is over.

Thank you.

Uh, we parked
in a parking structure.

Do you validate?

Would it make
any difference

if I told you
Camden McCallum, Jr.

spoke to me...

from beyond the grave?

Shut the door
on your way out.

[under his breath]
Damn it.

What are you doing?
That was the Chief of Police.

Interim Chief.

And have you considered
that Camden McCallum

may have been alive
the first time we went

to that cabin?
No.

Well, I have.

I need to talk to that guy.

Whoa, whoa. No.
Come on, Gus.
Just for a second.

The man is practically
almost my father-in-law.

Make no mistake, Shawn,
I will kill you.

Okay.

I appreciate
the fact that you think

you can beat me up.

But I think our last scuffle
proves otherwise.

Are you talking about
the Cinnamon Festival?

Yes.
You do remember!

Okay.

First of all, I was six.
And I had a cast!

Which many would construe
as a clear advantage.

It's like having a weapon
attached to your arm.

Oh, great,

now the Chief
is staring right at us.

Mr. McCallum!

Chief wants them left alone.

Well, we all want
to be left alone.

Yeah, some more than others.
What's with his wrist?

You don't give up,
do you?

I do give up.
All the time.

But not until the moment
is right.

Now come on.

I know you don't think
this adds up either.

Okay, the rumor is
he tried to off himself.

Off himself.

The war hero?

The man
who's seen everything?

No. That's not it.
That's definitely not it.

You know everything,
don't you?

Yeah.
It's scary, isn't it?

Something is going on,

and I'm gonna find out
what it is.

No. You're not going
anywhere near that man.

In fact,
I'm going to make certain

you never hear
from the department again.

Whoa!

I'm getting strong vibrations
that you might be wrong.

I'm on to you.

You've got
a source somewhere

and I'm going to find it.

You think this is
some sort of game?

I'm not going to let you
just waltz around here

like some kid
in a candy store.

Let me be honest with you,
Detective.

I used to work
in a candy store

and it's nothing like this.

You're in over your head,
mystic.

[doorbell rings]

Hi, Dad.

Shawn.

You didn't tell me
you moved back.

You didn't tell me
you moved away.

That was different.
Was it?

Yeah. I was busy trying
to help my mom

through her divorce.

Well, it's nice
to see you, too, son.

Can I come in?

No.

I was on my way
out to lunch.

You can come with me
if you don't bring this thing.

When I was
in the department,

there were two things
I hated in this world.

Private investigators
and psychics.

Congratulations, kid.

You just hit
the disappointment exacta.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

It sort of happened
by accident.

What are you gonna
do when you get caught?

Move out of town?

I'm not going
to get caught.

Shawn, this is just like
everything else.

Three months from now,

you're going to be on a bus
going to Minneapolis

cause you found your calling
as a weather man.

It's not like that
this time.

Have you been
listening to me?

I finally figured out a way
to use my special gift.

You should be thrilled.

You're the one
that made me this way.

I'm good at this.

Oh.

Oh, oh, I see.
You're so good at it,

what are you doing
knocking at my door?

You think I came to you
for help.

Okay.

There was no ransom drop.

I'm not gonna be
a part of this.

Come on.

Would you just
hear me out?

Okay.
No ransom drop.

So what?
Big deal.

So six days? Nothing?
Not even a demand?

It happens all the time.
It's not unprecedented.

They try to create panic
in the family.

Yeah, I know. I know.
But not this guy.

This guy wanted it
done quickly.

I know that.
Well, then you
missed something.

You've been driving
your motorcycle
all across the country,

working your bungee cord
jumping expeditions.

You're soft.
Hey, pal, it happens.

I'm not soft.

I'm sharper
than I've ever been.

Close your eyes.

Heh!

No way.
I'm not seven.

Close your eyes.
Any longer,
I'll think you're cheating.

How many hats
are in the room?

All right.
Fine.

Just in case you're trying
to pull a fast one,

I'm not counting the one
in your pocket.

Nylon fishing hat
on the loner in the corner.

Foam cap on the kid
who's too young to know

they were lame
the first time
they came out.

Both truckers.
One a concrete company
I've never heard of.

The other advertising
free moustache rides.

I'm fairly certain no one's
taken him up on that offer.

Norwegian girl.
Ponytail pulled out the back.

Unfortunately,
she's married.

And our friendly bartender

wearing the official hat
of the restaurant.

Six hats.

And?

That's it.

Sorry, pal,
there are seven hats.

I can't help you.
You missed something.

I didn't miss anything.

There are seven hats,
Shawn.

Were.
Before I closed my eyes.

Cowboy hat walked out

while I was ridiculing
moustache rides.

Come on.
I heard her boots.

All right.
Close enough.

Close enough? No.
I nailed that.

Yeah, but you
changed the rules.

But, hey, if it makes
you happy.

Change the rules.

I did not
change the rules.

What I did was nail it
and you know it.

Shawn, you want my advice,

go out, get yourself
a real job, grow up.

In the meantime,

you might want
to ask yourself

who you're trusting
in this case

that maybe you shouldn't.

'Cause obviously,
you're overlooking somebody.

Thanks for lunch.

(Gus)
Why are we at
the McCallum offices?

What is the magnification
on these things?
2X.

Okay, we need to stop
at Walmart on the way home.

Why don't you just take
your big, loud motorcycle?

Ooh, here we go.
Here we go.

Oh, hell no.

You got me out of work
so you could stalk a girl?

Damn it.
What is he doing here?

I can't believe this!

What's up with his hair?
It's horrible.

I knew I should've had him
picked up for questioning.

That is not the way

a grown man kisses
a grown woman.

We're--we're fine.

Why does she look
so nervous?

Oh, no.

Is it just me or does
that bag look like it's filled

with stacks
of ransom money?

Give me that.

Oh, my God.

Katarina.

It was her.

You're dating a murderer.

Not exclusively.
Wow.

[laughing]

(Gus)
You see, I knew
there was a reason

she went for you
so easily.

She wasn't lying, Gus.

I know when people
are lying.

Oh, yeah?
Apparently not.

You just got played.

[laughs]

(Gus)
Should we call the cops?

(Shawn)
Too late for that.

You could pretend
you had a vision

of a girl totally
manipulating you.

Would you stop?

What should we--
What should we do?

There's only one thing
to do.

Oh, you have got
to be kidding me.

Shawn?

Hey!

Ha ha!

What are you doing?
Helping.

You're supposed to stay
at the car.

You didn't tell me.
Well, come on!

Gus, you locked the car?

It's a bad neighborhood!

What in the world's
going on, Shawn?

I know what's in the bag.

You do?

You're good.
Very good.

I didn't consider

who'd be the sole heir
to the McCallum fortune

if Camden was out
of the picture.

Okay, okay.
Wh--

You think I want
my family's money?

You don't need it, do you,

now that you've got...

this money!

We've got to get
better binoculars.

Katarina...

Go buy the bag.

What, you want a souvenir
of your ineptitude?

I need to get a better look
inside the bag.

I'm not going in there.
That guy wants to kill us.

Gus, this guy works
in a thrift store.

Okay? He's a big,
furry hearted,

good Samaritan.

Come on.

I'll be right here.

Go ahead.

Mm-hmm.

What the hell do you want?

Can I have the bag?

You serious?

Just the bag.

Not the clothes.

I'll pay you for it.

You've got some nerve
coming in here.

I can't believe this!

Neither can I.

I've gone to jail
for less than you.

Jail's no fun.

I'll tell you that much.
Oh, you've been.

Once.
In Monopoly.

Okay, hold on, hold on.
Who's that?

Hey!
Move, move, move, move!

Hey, get back here!

You, hey!

[engine starts]

Go, go, go!

(Shawn)
I can't believe

you sold me out
like that!

You didn't tell me
I was a decoy!

Of course
you're the decoy!

[sniffs]

Seems pretty clean.

What, they didn't happen
to leave a ransom note inside?

Give me some money.

Get your own money.

Gus, I'll give it back.

Seriously,
this is all you carry?

Okay.
[clears throat]

So we've got five stacks
going across.

You figure four
going long ways.

Ten stacks in each pile

based on the wear
and the indentation...

Depending
on the denomination,

uh, this could easily
be $5 million.

You're kidding.

Give or take.

You got that from a groove
on the side?

Come on, Gus.

Any small child
could've figured that out.

So somebody at that house
did pay a ransom.

Mm-hmm.
Or tried too.

Who?

I don't know.

We're going to need more
than my psychic powers

to figure this out.

Here to scope out
the new meter maids?

Nope.
I am here to see you.

Not interested.

I know you. You have
someone special.

He's married
and/or separated.

Is there a point to this,
Mr. Spencer?

Of course.

You and I
have something in common.

What's that?

We both know this case
is nowhere near closed.

Unfortunately,
gut feelings

aren't admissible
in a California court.

How about motive?

What do you have?

Nothing.
Yet.

But I've seen something.

Seen or seen.

Well, what do you think?

Okay, what do you need?

Everything you have
on Malcolm Orso.

He was Camden's
accomplice.

I'll get fired.

Will you really?
Because it seems like
a gray area to me.

That's the problem
with you, Mr. Spencer.

You live your entire life
in a gray area.

That's not true.

Though I generally vacation
in gray areas.

We can't talk here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold up.

It says Orso was seen
in the town near the cabin.

Yeah.
Twice.

Early in the week
by a store owner.

What was he buying?

Nothing.

The old man just saw him
on the street.

Same old man
sees him two times?

Mm-hmm.
Yeah.

Orso had one of those
modified mufflers on his Nova.

You could hear him
a block away.

You'll need
a new target sheet.

Oh, oh, no, no, no.

This is, uh,

this is fine.

Wow.

They're so much lighter when
they're filled with water.

You missed.

Did I really?

Look at that.

It's a perfect match.

Damn.

I'm telling you,

there's no way Katarina's
going to talk to you.

Yeah, well, I sort
of lied about that part.

We're not here
to see Katarina.

Who we here to see?

This is
highly inappropriate,
Mr. Spencer.

The investigation is over.

What if they got
the wrong man?

And who would
the right man be?

You.

Mr. McCallum, I didn't have
anything to do with this.

I killed my own son?

If it makes you
feel any better,
I don't think you meant to.

You're not a detective.
You're not even a cop.

You're right.
I'm a psychic.

And I saw the whole thing.

I see a ransom drop.

You're doing everything
they ask.

You didn't call the police.

You're thinking of nothing
but the security of your son.

After all,
what's $5 million to you?

You're driving away.
I can see it.

Something strange happens.
You recognize the car.

You pass it on the hill.
It's Malcolm Orso's.

You've seen it hundreds
of times at your house

ever since high school.

Maybe it confirms a suspicion
that you already have.

You know where they are.

You know the cabin.

He's making coffee.

You didn't mean to kill him,
did you?

No. Just knock him around
a little bit.
Teach him a lesson.

But he falls to the floor.

He slams his head
on the oak table.

He's dead.

You know he's dead.

Orso walks in, finds you.

He's got a half-ass pistol.
But he's no criminal.

You know there's only one way
to cover your tracks.

You take care of him too.

[dog barking]

Make it look
like a suicide.

[dog barking]

Then you come home,

inform the police,
and you wait.

You wait for a ransom call
that will never come.

Police eat it up.

It's easy to look shaken
after all you've done.

You might even be willing
to take your own life.

You have
an overactive imagination.

Perhaps a side effect

of your gift.

Shawn, we need to go.
Not yet.

I'm about to throw up
on a Turkish carpet.

No, you're not.
It's in my esophagus.

The second door on the left.
Turn on the fan and flush.

I will not have this incident
rehashed over and over again!

I know
what your relationship was
with your son.

Oh, really.

I have a father that
I disappoint all the time.

I'm sure you do.

I know how you feel.

This was it.

This was the straw that broke
the camel's back, wasn't it?

To think 18 months ago,
he sat across from you,

looked you right in the eye

and said, "Dad, I'm going
to clean up my act this time.

"This time,
I am going to change.

I swear."

To know
that he duped you

and you fell for it
all over again

must've sent you
into a state

that even you can't believe.

Mr. Spencer,
I've been assured

by the Lieutenant Governor

that this case
will not cast a pall

over my family.

But I can assure you,

it's gonna cast one
over yours.

My very first case,
I'm already
being threatened. Wow.

(Gus)
Shawn, let's go.

Not quite finished.

We're going now.

Listen to your friend.

I'll be back.

No, you won't.

Okay, we're going.

We're clearly going.
All right!

Dude,
what are you doing?

We had him on the ropes.

It wasn't
the right tactic.

Oh, you're
the expert now?

Consumine.
What?

Consumine.
It's for dog bites.

I have some samples.
Gus, what are you
saying to me?

I'm saying
there was a bottle of it

in the medicine cabinet
prescribed Wednesday.

You wonder why he had on
that long-sleeve shirt

in the heat
that first day?

Oh, my gosh. That dog
did have blood on his teeth.

I told you
it wasn't Snausages.

We're never getting
back in there.
I know.

Just give me a second.

What are you doing?

- I'm thinking.
- You look ridiculous.

Now what are you doing?
I'm calling the cops.

For what?
You heard the guy in there.
They're never going to come.

I'm not calling the cops on him.
I'm calling the cops on us.

We need this to play out
in front of an audience with
all the major players in place.

(woman) Santa Barbara
Police Department.
Yes. Hello.

I'm calling
from the McCallum residence.

There's an intruder here
who simply won't leave.

He's claiming to be a psychic
that works for your department.

Pardon me?

Mr. McCallum is enraged,
and he wants this handled by
the highest authority possible.

Please send the Chief
immediately.

[Shawn sniffs]

Did you really vomit?

Who called them?

I don't know, sir.
Maybe the back staff.

Those two gentlemen
have not left
the driveway.

Would you like me
to send them all away?
No.

Let's finish this.

As you can see, Karen,
this simply cannot happen.

It'll be taken care of.
Believe me.

He was given clear
instructions to stay away.

I understand, but...

It's times like this
I remember why I love
my job so much.

Any time, Shawn.

He's getting cocky.
Give it a sec.

We're gonna be
in a city jail in a sec.

Uh-huh. Here we are.

[thud]
Oh!

I'm sorry.
Did that hurt?

Ah, something's happening!

Ah!
Stop it!

Gus!

Something's happening!

Stop it.
Ah! Ah!

Wait.

Ah!

The dog!
Shut up.

He's biting the intruder!

He knows him!
It's someone he knows!
The dog knows him!

Stop talking.

Ouch! Ow!

The teeth are digging in.

Shut up!
Oh, there's blood!

Ah! Ah!

It's him! It's McCallum!

I can see his face!
The killer is McCallum.

Check his wrist!

Check his right wrist!

The teeth marks
will match up!

Get him out of here!

Check the wrist!

No one is checking
any part of me.

Why not?
Huh?

We could close this out
immediately,
discredit him right here.

That's an awful wound
you have bandaged there.

This is outrageous!

Do you really
want to do this?

We could do this now...

or I could
call in a warrant.

I'll call my lawyer.

I'll be right here.

I see a doctor!

I'm seeing a doctor.

Dr. Bendali.
And a word.

Consumine.

Yeah, it's for dog bites.
The wound is fresh.

Check the wound!

It's a fresh wound.
It's still a fresh wound.

I-It was an accident.

I-I didn't--

What?

Sergeant.

(Sergeant)
Come this way, sir.

You want to take these cuffs
off of me, please?

Thank you.

Seriously.

How?

I wish I knew.

So, you think this
pretty much ruins
my chances with Katarina?

There she is.

Don't ever walk into my office
without knocking.

I'm sorry.
I got excited.

You know
what I'll do to you?

Yes.
You do?

I'm a psychic.

I'm just finishing up in here.

I'll be with you
in a moment.

That's all right.
I've gotta get going.
Thank you for coming.

You've been
a big help.

Son.

Dad.

Have a seat.

I was considering adding you
to my speed dial, Mr. Spencer,

but I would be remiss
if I didn't do

a little background check,
don't you think?

Uh...yes?

I asked your dad how long
you've had the gift.

Look, my father's memory
is pretty cloudy.

Oh, it certainly is.

His recollection doesn't match
up with your assertion at all.

I can explain that.

You said you've had
this ability your whole life.

Well...whole life.

I mean, it's a bit
of a gray area.

He said you didn't get it
until you were 18.

He said that?

Mm-hmm.

Wow.

That is just like him.

The man simply refuses
to acknowledge

my abilities,
my gifts.

Can we discuss my fee?

There's a check
in the cage.

Sign for it
and then come back in.

Come--come back in here?

Mm-hmm.
Why?

You familiar with
a chop shop in Summerland?

Dad!

So are you gonna continue
with this little charade?

Well, it sort of gives me
carte blanche, you know.

I mean, I can work cases
for the department.

I can do private jobs.

In fact, I've already
got another case.

Be aware.

This is the last time
I cover for you, pal.

I'm not okay
with this, Shawn.

Any of it.

I don't expect you
to be, Dad.

[engine starts]

Awesome!

Psych?

As in, "Got you."

Or as in "psych-ic."

You named your fake
detective agency Psych?

Why don't you
just call it,

"Hey, We're Fooling You
and the Police Department.

"Hope We Don't
Make a Mistake

and Someone Dies
Because of It."

First of all, Gus, that name
is entirely too long.

It would never fit
on the window.

And secondly, the best way
to convince people

you're not lying to them
is to tell them you are.

Whatever, Shawn.

It's your agency.
Go for it.

Actually...

it's our agency.

I put your name
on the lease as well.

Tell me. Does that look
anything like your signature?

I gave it a shot.
This better be a joke.

Don't worry.
You won't have to do a thing.

I have worked out
every last detail.

- What's your dental plan?
- Don't get cavities.

- Health plan?
- Same, but with Hepatitis
and shingles.

So I'm supposed
to quit my job,

skip over, and do this
for no guaranteed money.

No guaranteed money,
but all guaranteed fun!

No! No more cases, Shawn.

It was fun for a few days.

Well, it's gonna
have to be fun

for a minimum
of six months,

or we'll have to pay
a lease penalty.

Which would be a blemish

on your otherwise
very impressive credit report.

You solved one mystery

and now you renting
office space?

Gus!

I've solved
a bunch of mysteries.

For instance, the mystery of who
kept stealing your newspaper.

Answer: me!

The mystery of what
we're doing this weekend.

Hint.
It involves dragsters.

And finally,

the mystery that is the case

the Chief
just brought me in on.

You got another case
already?

A car thief got poisoned
by his boss.

He used something
over the counter.

Phisidine.
No.

Phisadirble.
No.

Uh...Ph--
Phisadrine?

That's it!

Wow.
How'd he do that?

I'll tell you on the way.

Just for today, right?

Absolutely.

[engine starts]

* I know you know

* That I'm not telling
the truth *

* I know you know

* They just don't have
any proof *

* Where's the deception

* Learn how to bend

* Your worst inhibitions

* Tend to psych you out
in the end *

* I know you know

* I know you know

* I know you know

* I know you know

*

* In between the lines
there's a lot of obscurity *

* I'm not inclined
to resign to maturity *

* If it's all right
then you're all wrong *

* But why bounce around
to the same damn song *

* You'd rather run
when you can crawl *

* I know you know

* That I'm not telling
the truth *

* I know you know

* They just don't have
any proof *

* Where's the deception

* Learn how to bend

* Your worst inhibitions

* Tend to psych you out
in the end *