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1
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:16,084
HIGH COMMANDER'S LOG.
2
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:21,522
MAKE THAT
FORMER HIGH COMMANDER.
3
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:22,690
I AM WRITING THIS
4
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:26,060
SO THAT FUTURE GENERATIONS
WILL KNOW THE TRUTH.
5
00:00:26,094 --> 00:00:28,862
IT ALL BEGAN
TWO DAYS AGO...
6
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:30,531
OK, WHERE'S MY SHOES?
7
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:34,868
WELL I THINK I SAW ONE OF
THEM RIGHT OVER THERE...
8
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:38,005
HARRY RECEIVED A MESSAGE
FROM THE BIG GIANT HEAD
9
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,241
SAYING THAT I WAS
TO BE REPLACED
10
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:42,710
THE VERY NEXT NIGHT.
11
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,945
CRUELLY, THAT
WAS THE VERY NIGHT
12
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:49,583
THAT MARY FINALLY SAID,
"I CARE ABOUT YOU."
13
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:52,653
OH, MARY, YOU UNDERSTAND
MY EVERY THOUGHT.
14
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:53,954
I UNDERSTAND.
15
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,124
YOU'VE HAD THE MILK.
WHY BUY THE COW?
16
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:57,325
NO, MARY.
17
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,826
I WANT YOU.
18
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,994
I WANT THE COW!
19
00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:05,433
BUT I WAS SUMMONED
INTO THE BASEMENT
20
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:07,935
TO MEET MY REPLACEMENT,
21
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:12,072
AND HERE I AM
IN THIS ENCASEMENT.
22
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:14,275
NO.
23
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,112
I MUST MAKE AN ERASEMENT.
24
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:26,987
IGNORING ALL
MILITARY PROTOCOL,
25
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:30,158
HE CONFINED ME
IN THIS INVISIBLE BOX.
26
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,426
HA HA HA HA HA.
27
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,465
OH, MY GOD!
28
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:40,401
HE'S TURNED ME
INTO A MIME!
29
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,379
WHAT'S GOING ON
IN THAT PAN?
30
00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:52,346
I'M COOKING SAUSAGES.
31
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:55,883
THOSE ARE LINKS.
I LIKE PATTIES.
32
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:56,784
I'M SORRY, SIR.
33
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,886
SORRY WON'T DO.
PRESS THAT MEAT,
SOLDIER.
34
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:01,422
I LIKE MY LINKS
FLAT.
35
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,097
WHO ATE
MY STRAWBERRIES?
36
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,199
STRAWBERRIES?
37
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,533
I HAD A PINT OF STRAWBERRIES
IN HERE
38
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,702
WITH A NOTE
CLEARLY MARKED "MINE."
39
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,437
I DIDN'T TAKE THEM.
IT WASN'T ME.
40
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:22,810
MAN, THEM STRAWBERRIES
WAS GOOD EATIN'.
41
00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:32,753
IT IS BECOMING
ALL TOO CLEAR
42
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:36,724
HOW MY PREDECESSOR
CHOSE TO RUN THINGS.
43
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,359
YOU WILL FIND
THINGS TO BE
QUITE DIFFERENT
44
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:40,261
UNDER MY COMMAND,
TOMMY.
45
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,663
UH, NO, I'M HARRY.
46
00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:46,734
NO. I HAVE DECIDED
THAT FROM NOW ON,
47
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,569
YOU'LL BE KNOWN
AS TOMMY.
48
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,404
WHAT ABOUT ME?
49
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:53,274
YOU WILL BE KNOWN
AS TOMMY, TOO.
50
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:54,242
YEAH, BUT WAIT, WAIT.
51
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:57,010
TOMMY AND THEN
THE NUMBER 2
OR TOMMY, AS WELL?
52
00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:59,980
YOU WILL ALL
BE KNOWN AS TOMMY!
53
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,115
AND THAT'S NOT ALL.
LIEUTENANT.
54
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:04,218
FROM NOW ON,
YOU WILL WEAR SKIRTS.
55
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:05,719
SKIRTS?
56
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:08,622
SOMETHING LONG
THAT LOOKS PRETTY
WHEN YOU TWIRL.
57
00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:10,258
AND STAY AWAY
FROM PLEATS.
58
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:11,892
YOU KNOW,
NOTHING TOO FUSSY.
59
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,228
OK.
60
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:16,597
FURTHERMORE, WHEN COUPONS
ARRIVE IN THE MAIL,
61
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,500
I GET FIRST DIBS.
62
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:23,036
I MAY OPEN A BOX OF CEREAL
TO GET THE PRIZE,
63
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,406
BUT I DO NOT THEN
HAVE TO EAT...
64
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,675
THE CEREAL.
65
00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:31,279
THE BATHROOM
HAS BEEN STOCKED
66
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:32,846
WITH TWO KINDS
OF TOILET PAPER.
67
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,316
I AND I ALONE...
68
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,385
GET THE QUILTED KIND.
69
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:41,054
YOU WILL GO TO A BARBER.
70
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,290
I WILL GO TO A STYLIST.
71
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:43,891
NOW, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT.
72
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,259
WE HAVE SO MUCH MORE
HAIR THAN YOU DO.
73
00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:49,096
YOU WILL NEVER MENTION
THAT AGAIN!
74
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:52,566
HAVE I MADE MYSELF
CLEAR, TOMMY?
75
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,201
YES.
YES.
YES.
76
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:27,067
WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU
WHAT TIME IT IS,
77
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,437
YOU DO NOT SAY,
"IT'S TIME TO DIE."
78
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,808
Evil Dick: AND WHERE
DO I GO FOR WORK?
79
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:35,743
Tommy: THE UNIVERSITY.
80
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:36,810
AH.
81
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:39,046
SO I RUN
THE UNIVERSITY.
82
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:43,784
UH, NOT SO MUCH RUN.
YOU TEACH A PHYSICS CLASS.
83
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,819
I'M A TEACHER?!
84
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:49,122
WHAT, WERE ALL
THE JANITORS'
JOBS TAKEN?!
85
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:50,524
SIX MONTHS
ON THIS PLANET,
86
00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:52,292
AND THAT'S ALL
MY PREDECESSOR
ACHIEVED.
87
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:54,027
HOW PITIFUL!
88
00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,329
HE WAS SPENDING
A LOT OF TIME
89
00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:57,297
ON THAT WHOLE
DR. ALBRIGHT THING.
90
00:04:57,331 --> 00:05:00,067
AH, YES. MARY.
91
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,437
I'VE GOT PLANS FOR HER.
92
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:12,746
THERE'S MY GIRL.
93
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,948
I FEEL SO PRETTY.
94
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:17,618
NOW PAY ATTENTION.
95
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:18,719
I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT
FOR YOU.
96
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,421
LIEUTENANT,
TAKE THIS DOWN.
97
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:23,391
I WILL REQUIRE
THE FOLLOWING ITEMS:
98
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:27,661
500 ROLLS OF SILVER
REFLECTIVE DUCT TAPE,
99
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:30,764
144 CERAMIC CUSTARD CUPS,
100
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:34,034
ONE SUBATOMIC SPECTROMETER,
AND ONE TURKEY BASTER.
101
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:38,338
YOU SEE, I'M BUILDING
THE GREATEST INCUBATOR
102
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:42,275
THESE PUNY HUMANS
HAVE EVER KNOWN.
103
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,445
AND WHEN IT IS COMPLETED,
104
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:48,248
I WILL SPAWN MY OWN
PRIVATE ARMY OF...
105
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:52,986
OF...
106
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:56,056
FUZZY EASTER CHICKS.
107
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,125
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
LOOKING AT?
108
00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,593
YOU HAVE YOUR ASSIGNMENT.
HOP TO IT!
109
00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:00,394
CAN YOU GIVE US
A RIDE?
110
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:03,631
NO! THE CAR IS MINE
AND MINE ALONE.
111
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:07,401
YOU'RE HUMANS.
USE YOUR FEET.
112
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:15,308
YOU KNOW, I WAS THIS CLOSE
TO KICKING HIS BUTT.
113
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,013
YEAH, I WAS GONNA
KICK HIS BUTT,
114
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:23,216
BUT, YOU KNOW,
I FIGURED YOU'D DO IT.
115
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:24,317
WELL, WHEN HE
COMES BACK,
116
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:25,419
I'M KICKING
HIS BUTT.
117
00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:26,620
ALL RIGHT.
118
00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:28,456
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
COMPLAINING ABOUT,
HUH?
119
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:30,758
I DESERVED HIS JOB.
I SHOULD BE
HIGH COMMANDER.
120
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,960
I HAD THE SENIORITY,
I KNOW THE TERRITORY.
121
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,629
SO WHY WASN'T
I PROMOTED? HUH?
122
00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:36,597
BECAUSE I'M THE WOMAN.
123
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:39,767
ONCE AGAIN, THE WOMAN
WAS PASSED OVER!
124
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,168
YOU WANT ME
TO KICK HIS BUTT?
125
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,936
OH, HARRY!
126
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:44,505
THERE'S NOT GONNA BE
ANY BUTT-KICKING, OK?
127
00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:46,139
HE'S HIGH COMMANDER,
AND, LIKE IT OR NOT,
128
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,275
WE'RE SWORN TO FOLLOW HIM.
129
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:51,344
ANYWAY, MAYBE
THIS MISSION COULD USE
A LITTLE DISCIPLINE.
130
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,947
YEAH. NICE SKIRT,
TOMMY.
131
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,987
ALL RIGHT,
HOW DO YOU WORK A CAR?
132
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:04,558
SEE,
IT'S THE DIFFERENCE
133
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:07,895
BETWEEN GOOD FABRIC
AND CHEAP FABRIC.
134
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:13,400
THEN AGAIN, MY THIRD HUSBAND
LIKED THEM CHEAP.
135
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,670
YES, YES.
THAT'S FASCINATING.
136
00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:18,105
SAY, DR. SOLOMON,
137
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:21,108
COULD YOU COME OVER
AND GIVE ME A HAND
WITH MY LINT TRAP?
138
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:25,813
OH, I...
139
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,981
I'D LOVE TO, REALLY,
BUT I'M AFRAID
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
140
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,851
YOU SEE,
I HAVE A BAD BACK.
141
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,385
I THINK I KNOW WHY
YOU'RE DOWN HERE.
142
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:33,353
SAME REASON
MY SECOND HUSBAND
143
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:36,757
USED TO COME
DOWN HERE.
144
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:40,060
BOTTLE OF SCOTCH
HIDDEN IN
THE INSULATION.
145
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,463
OF COURSE,
I ALWAYS KNEW.
146
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:46,600
THE PINK FUZZ
IN HIS BEARD
GAVE HIM AWAY.
147
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,373
[PANTING]
148
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,142
MRS. DUBCEK.
149
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,049
YES?
150
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:05,085
I NEED YOU
TO DO ME A FAVOR.
151
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:10,057
COULD YOU GO UPSTAIRS
AND TELL SALLY
THAT I'M DOWN HERE?
152
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:13,293
BUT IF YOU SEE ME
STANDING THERE--
153
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,328
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT--
154
00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:19,867
DON'T SAY ANYTHING
TO ME.
155
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,736
JUST TAKE SALLY ASIDE
AND WHISPER IT TO HER,
156
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:27,174
AND WHATEVER YOU DO,
MAKE SURE I DON'T HEAR YOU.
157
00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:31,712
COME AGAIN?
158
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,016
NEVER MIND.
159
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,885
[BONK]
160
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,805
STOP IT.
161
00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:59,740
OH, HERE'S
THE DUCT TAPE.
162
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:00,540
HOW MUCH
DO WE NEED?
163
00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:03,711
UH, 500 ROLLS,
SILVER REFLECTIVE.
164
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:06,146
OH, WELL, HOW ABOUT
EIGHT ROLLS
OF SORT OF GRAYISH?
165
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:08,115
THAT'S FINE.
166
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,950
WHAT DO YOU THINK
DICK'S DOING NOW?
167
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,785
YOU KNOW,
OLD DICK.
168
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:12,886
YOU DON'T THINK
THEY REASSIGNED HIM
169
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,221
TO THE BROWN PLANET,
DO YOU?
170
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:15,956
OHH.
171
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:20,661
DENNIS!
172
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,730
TOM, SALLY, HARRY,
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
DOING HERE?
173
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:25,398
WELL, WE JUST
HAD TO PICK UP
SOME DUCT TAPE HERE.
174
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,200
NO, I MEAN ON EARTH.
175
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,769
OH, WELL, WE'RE
DOING THAT THING
176
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,804
WHERE WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE A HUMAN FAMILY.
177
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,773
OH, I DODGED
THAT ASSIGNMENT.
178
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:36,309
WE'VE SEEN YOU ON TV, MAN.
18 REBOUNDS A GAME.
179
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,311
DON'T PEOPLE
SUSPECT ANYTHING?
180
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,715
LOOK AT YOU.
THE HAIR, THE TATTOOS.
181
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:45,118
LIKE YOU COULD
BE HUMAN.
182
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:48,521
THEY THINK I'M WEIRD
OR SOMETHING.
183
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:49,990
I HEAR THAT.
184
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,025
LISTEN, DENNIS,
I GOTTA ASK YOU.
185
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:54,527
MADONNA,
WHERE'S SHE FROM?
186
00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:55,395
DETROIT.
187
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,630
DETROIT, EARTH?
188
00:09:56,664 --> 00:09:58,265
GET OUT.
NO!
189
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,701
SHE'S HERE.
SHE'S HERE.
190
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,102
OH, WHAT ABOUT
MICHAEL JORDAN?
191
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,536
ROBOT.
192
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,305
YEAH. I TOLD YOU SO.
SEE?
193
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,107
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
194
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,342
WELL, GUYS,
I GOTTA BE GOING.
195
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,912
PROCEED BOLDLY
AND WITH STEALTH.
196
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:14,815
JAM ON.
197
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:31,298
I LIKE WHAT YOU'VE DONE
WITH YOUR DESK.
198
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,166
WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO DO IT...
199
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,868
TO YOURS?
200
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,807
NO. I LIKE IT MESSY.
201
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,009
BAD GIRL.
202
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,311
SO, DR. ALBRIGHT,
REFRESH MY MEMORY.
203
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:48,615
HAVE YOU AND I...
HAD SEX YET?
204
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,218
WHY, YES. I BELIEVE WE HAVE.
205
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:53,721
HOW WAS IT?
206
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:56,924
IT WAS...NICE.
207
00:10:56,957 --> 00:11:00,593
NEXT TIME IT WON'T BE
SO NICE.
208
00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:08,101
UM, WHAT DID
YOU DO TO HIM?
209
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,803
I DON'T KNOW, NINA.
210
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,505
NINA, WHERE'S THAT
COMPREHENSIVE COURSE
SYLLABUS?
211
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:14,374
YOU ONLY ASKED ME
TO DO IT 10 MINUTES AGO.
212
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,042
I'M NOT A MACHINE.
213
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:18,946
MMM. PITY.
214
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:21,048
WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
TRYING TO SHOW OFF
IN FRONT OF HER?
215
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,983
I DON'T HAVE
TO SHOW OFF.
216
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:26,686
I JUST HAVE TO...
SHOW UP.
217
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:31,591
ISN'T HE NAUGHTY?
218
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:38,498
OLD DICK WOULD HAVE
NEVER ORDERED US OUT
ONTO THE ROOF.
219
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,632
YEAH, WELL, EXCEPT
FOR THAT ONE TIME
220
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,201
HE ORDERED US OUT
ON THE ROOF.
221
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,436
OH, WELL, THAT TIME.
222
00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:48,776
A SMALL FIRE
HAS BROKEN OUT
IN THE LIVING ROOM.
223
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:52,645
THERE'S
A FIRE EXTINGUISHER
NEXT TO THE STOVE.
224
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,949
THE STOVE IS
IN THE KITCHEN.
225
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,985
OBVIOUSLY.
226
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:00,287
THIS GUY'S
SUCH A HARD-ASS.
227
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,323
HEY, MAY I REMIND YOU
THAT THAT HARD-ASS
IS OUR HIGH COMMANDER?
228
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:04,457
WELL, YOU'RE
THE WEAPONS EXPERT.
229
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,726
ISN'T THERE SOME WAY
TO GET RID OF HIM?
230
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,862
NO. WE'RE STUCK
WITH HIM.
231
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,530
WE CAN'T JUST FRAG HIM
WITH A GRENADE
232
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,065
WHILE HE'S
TAKING A SHOWER.
233
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:13,033
HEY, BUT LISTEN.
234
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,803
SHOWERS
ACCIDENTALLY EXPLODE
ALL THE TIME.
235
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,104
I DIDN'T HEAR THAT,
SOLDIER.
236
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:17,971
HE SAID THAT SHOWERS--
237
00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:19,940
SHUT UP!
238
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,141
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
239
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:24,211
THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER
IS NOW ON FIRE.
240
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:26,947
I MISS THE OLD DICK.
241
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,115
I MISS THE OLD DICK, TOO.
242
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:31,018
WELL, MISSING HIM'S
NOT GONNA BRING HIM BACK.
243
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,086
I WILL ADMIT THAT
THE OLD DICK'S METHODS
244
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,022
WERE A LITTLE DIFFERENT
THAN THIS DICK,
245
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:38,992
BUT IT'S NOT UP TO US
TO QUESTION
HIS DIRECTIVES, OK?
246
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:41,661
HE'S IN COMMAND,
AND THAT'S THAT.
247
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:44,697
HE'S...
248
00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:47,901
HE'S JUST MEAN,
AND THERE'S NOTHING
WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.
249
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:50,603
YOU'RE GETTING
ALL WET. STOP.
250
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,873
NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
251
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:55,775
AS DICK ALWAYS
USED TO SAY,
252
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:58,611
"NEVER LET 'EM
SEE YOU LEAK."
253
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,081
FIRE'S
OUT OF CONTROL.
254
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,316
I'LL BE BACK
IN TWO HOURS.
255
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,889
I MISS DICK.
256
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:22,169
[RING]
257
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,770
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
258
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:28,876
[RING]
259
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,777
WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
260
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,481
[RING]
261
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,116
STOP IT.
262
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,751
[RING]
263
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,220
STOP IT!
264
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,793
HELLO.
265
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,662
DR. ALBRIGHT,
DINNER, MY PLACE,
TONIGHT.
266
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,599
IS THAT AN INVITATION?
267
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,067
NO.
268
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,535
WELL...
269
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:59,739
THE CAT THINKS HE HAS
THE MOUSE BY THE TAIL.
270
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:04,878
YES, BUT SOMETIMES
THE CAT LIKES TO PLAY
WITH HIS PREY
271
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:07,680
BEFORE HE GOES IN
FOR THE KILL.
272
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:10,617
WELL, THE CAT
MAY HAVE CLAWS,
273
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:13,520
BUT THE MOUSE IS QUICK.
274
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:14,787
TRUE.
275
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:19,192
BUT THE MOUSE
WILL ALWAYS FALL
FOR THE CHEESE.
276
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,496
THE CAT LIKES
A LITTLE CHEESE, TOO.
277
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:27,067
AND MILK
AND DEAD BIRDS.
278
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:30,770
BUT HE ALWAYS
LICKS HIMSELF CLEAN.
279
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,445
YOU WERE ASKING ME
TO DINNER.
280
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:39,279
UH, YES.
281
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:42,049
I'LL BE THERE.
282
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:45,218
MREOWWW!
283
00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:49,422
NO! I'M THE CAT!
284
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,493
HERE'S THE SYLLABUS
THAT YOU WANTED.
285
00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:55,795
WHY, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL,
NINA.
286
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:57,097
SO...
287
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:59,933
EXQUISITELY BEAUTIFUL.
288
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:02,269
WELL, WE GOT A NEW
TONER CARTRIDGE--
289
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:04,637
DON'T BE SO MODEST.
290
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,313
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
291
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,750
ALL RIGHT.
292
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,155
[BELL RINGS]
293
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,036
EXCUSE ME, THERE MUST BE
SOME MISTAKE.
294
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,137
THIS CLASSROOM IS MINE.
295
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:40,173
FIND YOUR OWN.
296
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,642
DR. SOLOMON, WE WERE ALL
JUST WAITING FOR OUR GRADES.
297
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:43,643
OH.
298
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:44,911
GRADES?
299
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:49,716
I DIDN'T REALIZE TEACHING
INVOLVED EVALUATION.
300
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:52,219
VERY WELL.
301
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,321
YOU NEED YOUR HAIR
STRAIGHTENED.
302
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,289
YOU'RE TOO SHORT
FOR YOUR FACE.
303
00:15:56,323 --> 00:16:00,193
YOU HAVE
A MUSEUM-QUALITY TORSO.
304
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,528
YOU...
305
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,063
ARE HARMLESS.
306
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:06,399
YOU WILL BE SPARED
AND USED TO CARRY
HEAVY THINGS.
307
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:07,634
YOU--
308
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:10,637
DR. SOLOMON,
WE MEANT OUR
LETTER GRADES.
309
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,041
I'VE DECIDED
TO GIVE YOU ALL...
310
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,377
Ds.
311
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,178
WE GOT Ds.
312
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,280
YAY!
YAY!
YAY!
313
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,753
Television: AWW!
314
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,888
ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL?
315
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,090
I MEAN, LOOK AT HER,
316
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:34,661
REUNITED WITH
THE BIRTH MOTHER
SHE NEVER KNEW.
317
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:38,131
I LOVE RICKI LAKE.
318
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:40,367
THE OTHER DAY,
THIS WOMAN FINALLY
CAME FACE TO FACE
319
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,634
WITH HER STALKER.
320
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,370
AND HE WAS SO SWEET,
321
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:46,773
SHE AGREED TO GO OUT
ON A DATE WITH HIM.
322
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,475
MAYBE IF I WENT
ON THAT SHOW,
323
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:52,545
THEY WOULD REUNITE ME
WITH DICK.
324
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,347
JOHNSON.
325
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,015
DICK JOHNSON.
326
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:57,550
LITTLE DICKIE JOHNSON.
327
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,652
STOP LOOKING AT ME.
328
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:04,424
AND WHO IS THIS
EXQUISITE CREATURE?
329
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:05,658
UH,
330
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,328
MAYBE YOU'D BETTER
GO DOWNSTAIRS, MRS. DUBCEK.
331
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,529
MRS. DUBCEK.
332
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,531
I WILL SEE YOU
LATER...
333
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,566
MRS. DUBCEK.
334
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:24,211
MRRREOW!
335
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,015
TURN THAT RUBBISH OFF.
336
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,519
FROM NOW ON,
WE WATCH ONLY GOLF.
337
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:37,790
BUT I WAS GONNA WATCH
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW.
338
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:41,394
TRANSMISSION INCOMING
FROM THE BIG GIANT HEAD.
339
00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:42,462
WARNING!
340
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:43,596
WARNING!
341
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,598
DANGER! DANGER!
342
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:47,134
DUE TO A CLERICAL ERROR,
343
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:50,403
YOUR HIGH COMMANDER
MAY HAVE BEEN
ACCIDENTALLY REPLACED
344
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:53,140
BY A DISGRUNTLED
FORMER EMPLOYEE
345
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,142
OF THE BIG GIANT HEAD.
346
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:59,646
HE SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ARMED
AND EXTREMELY UNPLEASANT.
347
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:00,880
AND REMEMBER,
348
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,982
WHEN YOU'RE THINKING
OF GIANT HEADS,
349
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,452
THINK OF THE BIG
GIANT HEAD.
350
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,556
RESUME NORMAL FUNCTIONS
IN 3...
351
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:10,690
2...
352
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,058
1.
353
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,534
ALL RIGHT,
WHAT WAS IT?
354
00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:23,703
WRONG NUMBER.
355
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:32,945
NOW, SHUT UP
356
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:35,182
AND GET ME
THAT TURKEY BASTER.
357
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:41,721
WHY DON'T YOU MAKE ME
GET THE TURKEY BASTER?
358
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,859
[SNORING]
359
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,299
* HER NAME WAS LOLA
360
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:54,267
* SHE WAS A SHOWGIRL
361
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,135
* WITH YELLOW FEATHERS
IN HER HAIR *
362
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,570
* AND A DRESS
CUT DOWN TO THERE *
363
00:18:57,604 --> 00:19:00,740
* SHE WOULD MERENGUE
364
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:01,741
HI, OLD DICK.
365
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:03,476
* AND DO THE CHA-CHA
366
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,578
* BUT THAT WAS 30 YEARS--
367
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,049
DICK!
HARRY!
368
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:11,251
OHH!
OHH!
369
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:14,053
OW!
OW! OW!
370
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:16,356
OW! OW! OW!
371
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:22,662
INVISIBLE BOX?
372
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:23,095
YEAH.
373
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,664
OH.
374
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,335
TOMMY! TOMMY!
375
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:31,070
TOMMY!
376
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:31,738
Y-YES.
377
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:32,672
WHAT IS THE MEANING
OF THIS?
378
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:35,508
I DISTINCTLY ASKED
FOR REFLECTIVE
DUCT TAPE.
379
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:38,378
OH, UH, ABOUT THAT,
THAT WAS ALL THEY HAD.
380
00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:40,079
TYPICAL.
381
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:41,348
DID YOU GET
THE CUSTARD CUPS?
382
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,883
UH, WE DIDN'T
SO MUCH GET THEM
383
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,653
AS--AS FAIL
TO GET THEM, SIR.
384
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,089
DID YOU TRY JENNY'S
RESTAURANT SUPPLY
ON 5th STREET?
385
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:52,759
THEY'RE NOT OPEN
TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC.
386
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:57,297
THAT'S RIGHT. CAN'T LET
JUST ANYONE MAKE CUSTARD.
387
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:58,898
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
NOT ON THIS PLANET.
388
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:01,834
NO, NO, THAT WOULD BE
TOO SIMPLE.
389
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,737
NO, WE HAVE RETAIL,
AND WE HAVE WHOLESALE.
390
00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:07,574
WE HAVE PINK PACKETS
AND BLUE PACKETS.
391
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,509
REPUBLICANS
AND DEMOCRATS
392
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:12,612
AND THE PARTY
THAT CRAZY MIDGET
STARTED.
393
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,520
SO MANY CHOICES.
394
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:23,022
HOW THEY ALL LOVE
THEIR FREE WILL.
395
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,625
EVERYBODY HAS A DIFFERENT
POINT OF VIEW.
396
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:28,861
THERE SHOULD BE ONLY
ONE POINT OF VIEW.
397
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,698
MY POINT OF VIEW!
398
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:36,903
WELL, I HAVE A MESSAGE
FOR THESE HUMANS.
399
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,572
THE BUFFET IS
ABOUT TO CLOSE.
400
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:42,275
FOREVER.
401
00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:44,744
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
402
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:55,722
[PANTING]
403
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:56,423
AAAHH.
404
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,657
WHAT IS IT, BOY?
405
00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:01,528
[PANTING]
406
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,430
HE WANTS US
TO FOLLOW HIM.
407
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,502
DICK!
DICK!
408
00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:10,937
SALLY! LOOK OUT!
409
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,505
THERE'S AN INVISIBLE--
410
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:14,741
AAH!
411
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:17,577
OW!
OH, MAN.
412
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,479
OH, YOU GUYS.
413
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:21,514
THERE'S AN INVISIBLE BOX.
27484
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