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1
00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:26,156
- I can't tell what's real
and what's not anymore!
2
00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:41,161
Where am I going?
3
00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:45,077
- Minneapolis, sir.
4
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:50,692
- I'll take a whiskey.
5
00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:52,563
- I'm afraid I can't.
6
00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:54,696
- Vodka. Whatever you have.
7
00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:57,873
- Sir, I'm sorry.
I'm not allowed to give you any alcohol.
8
00:02:58,743 --> 00:03:00,180
- Says who?
9
00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:03,357
- The doctor that carried you
onto the plane.
10
00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:07,187
Would you like some water?
11
00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:04,156
� Hey kids where are you
12
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:08,683
♪ Nobody tells you what to do
baby ♪
13
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:14,471
♪ Maybe you did
maybe you walked ♪
14
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:17,431
♪ Maybe you rocked
around the clock ♪
15
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:19,171
♪ Tick
16
00:04:19,215 --> 00:04:20,999
♪ Tock ♪
17
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,052
- James.
18
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,838
Come on. Come on. We're here.
19
00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:54,946
James. Hey, hey, hey!
Don't make this harder than it needs to be.
20
00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:56,992
- I'm fine. It's okay.
21
00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,385
I don't need this.
22
00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:00,691
- Have you fucking
seen yourself?
23
00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,563
You're a fucking wreck, James.
24
00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:06,218
You need help.
25
00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:07,655
Please.
26
00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:15,271
- Bobby,
why you doing this to me?
27
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,447
Why you doing this to me?
28
00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:21,277
- Because you're my brother.
29
00:05:22,104 --> 00:05:23,801
And I love you.
30
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:27,762
And you're breaking
Mom and Dad's hearts.
31
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:32,288
James, if you carry on the way you're going,
you're gonna die.
32
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:40,775
James.
33
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:10,370
- James, the nurse's station
is around the corner.
34
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:12,067
Come with me, okay?
35
00:06:18,508 --> 00:06:22,469
This facility was founded by a group of priests more than 40 years ago,
36
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:26,081
and more than 25,000 patients
have passed through our doors.
37
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:29,345
We are one of the largest
treatment centres in the world
38
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,826
and have one of the highest
long-term success rates.
39
00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:34,916
We have a few strict rules here.
40
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:38,136
If you are caught in possession
and/or using or drinking,
41
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:40,095
you will be sent home
immediately.
42
00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:43,707
And if you say anything more
than hello to any woman
43
00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:45,927
that is not a member
of our staff,
44
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,842
you will be sent home
immediately.
45
00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:51,541
For the sake and safety of our patients...
46
00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:56,536
- I had the nurse put you
on Librium and Diazepam.
47
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,626
They're detoxification drugs.
48
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:03,064
They'll stabilize the heart and
keep your blood pressure low.
49
00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:05,762
We wouldn't want you to have
a heart attack or a stroke.
50
00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:07,459
- Oh.
- Or a seizure.
51
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:09,200
- Ah!
- Ah, ah, okay, we're getting there,
52
00:09:09,244 --> 00:09:10,506
getting there.
53
00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:14,510
I'll have you seen
by the dentist this week. Okay?
54
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:18,340
Alright, this is the last one.
Last one.
55
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,650
Alright.
56
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:26,087
Now, let's look at that nose,
shall we?
57
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,610
- Oh, no, we can leave that.
58
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:30,091
- Be still. Look at me.
59
00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:32,136
- Ahem.
- Look straight ahead.
60
00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:35,575
Alright.
61
00:09:36,271 --> 00:09:39,579
I'm going to have to break it
in order to reset it.
62
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:42,494
- No, you don't. No...
- Put your hands down.
63
00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:44,845
Hold on tight. Alright?
64
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:48,500
Take a deep breath.
Here we go. And...
65
00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:55,856
- Ma'am, step up.
66
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,414
Wanna do some blow?
67
00:10:33,415 --> 00:10:36,418
I mean, I don't have any.
I'm just wondering.
68
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:41,771
Can I have a cigarette?
69
00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:46,602
What happened to your face?
70
00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:50,650
Hmm?
71
00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:53,870
I'm sor...
Are you deaf, or retarded?
72
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:56,394
I'm finding it
really hard to tell.
73
00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:00,790
Where are you from?
74
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:07,449
- Cleveland.
75
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,364
- Cleveland.
76
00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:11,888
So you are retarded.
77
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,629
- Hey...
78
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:15,805
- You okay?
79
00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:20,810
Yeah, it's a stupid question.
80
00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:24,422
- Well, y-you know...
Why are you talking to me?
81
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:25,815
You don't know me.
82
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,470
- Mm, sure I do.
83
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:30,646
You got issues.
84
00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:32,822
That's why you're here.
85
00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:36,043
I got issues.
That's why I'm here.
86
00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:40,787
You know, my grandma,
she drove me all the way from Chicago.
87
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,266
- Mr. Fray?
88
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:46,706
- Hi.
- Hi. I'm Roy, a patient here.
89
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:49,273
I was told to bring you down
into the Sawyer unit.
90
00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:51,711
Let's go.
91
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:02,112
Uh... you do know
that you're not allowed
92
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,027
to fraternize
with the women here.
93
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,550
Hmm?
94
00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:07,335
- Uh...
- Good.
95
00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:09,554
'Cause we can ask you to leave
if you cross the line. Okay?
96
00:12:10,425 --> 00:12:11,948
- You're a patient, right?
97
00:12:11,992 --> 00:12:14,298
- Mm.
- Then what the fuck are you gonna do?
98
00:12:18,302 --> 00:12:19,695
- This way, Mr. Fray.
99
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,306
- Fine, asshole.
100
00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:31,663
- Those are for staff only.
101
00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:34,057
So that is absolutely
off-limits.
102
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:36,494
This is our shared kitchen.
You really share it,
103
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:38,627
so you can get coffee
whenever you like,
104
00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:41,848
but make sure to clean up after yourself when you're done, okay?
105
00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:43,501
Mugs here.
You're gonna get your own.
106
00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:45,677
You gotta remember
to put your name on it. Okay?
107
00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:47,418
Shhh.
This is the communal phone.
108
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:49,725
You get to use that
during private time only.
109
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,815
This is going to be your home
for the next six weeks.
110
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:58,690
Make sure that you check the jobs board every Thursday morning, okay?
111
00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,562
Let's see, James Fray...
112
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:03,434
- Frey, Frey, Frey,
like a fucking French fry, y'know?
113
00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:06,046
- Isn't that appropriate.
Cleaning out the shit.
114
00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:08,831
Make sure you scrub
those toilets spotless, okay?
115
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:12,313
What you put into this is what you're gonna get out of it.
116
00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:15,925
This is our communal space.
We keep Big Books over there,
117
00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:18,667
and we do step work
after every meal.
118
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:21,757
Absolutely no sleeping
in the communal space.
119
00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:25,892
Follow me. I know it's a lot
coming at you fast,
120
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:29,025
so if you have any questions,
always feel free to check in with Lincoln.
121
00:13:29,069 --> 00:13:32,768
He is the Unit Supervisor. His room's down there.
Your room's gonna be this way
122
00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,772
- Is there a mini bar?
123
00:13:37,947 --> 00:13:39,383
- And...
124
00:13:40,776 --> 00:13:43,083
...here we are.
That's your bed.
125
00:13:45,389 --> 00:13:46,782
Good luck.
126
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:06,758
Oh, my God!
127
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:08,804
Ah... shit!
128
00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:11,851
Ah, fuck.
129
00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,384
Shhh.
130
00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:24,951
Shhh.
131
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:27,605
It's okay. You're just going
through withdrawal.
132
00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:29,259
It's okay. Shhh.
133
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:30,870
- Ah...
- You'll be fine.
134
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:34,569
Oh, my God.
Your face is so fucked up.
135
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:38,442
Here.
136
00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:43,970
You ever fuck anybody
in the ass?
137
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:45,623
- Excuse me?
138
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:48,278
- Yeah, I got really into it
when I was in prison,
139
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:51,281
and I don't need to be the giver;
I'm not picky anymore.
140
00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:53,805
- This ain't fuckin' prison.
- Yeah, tell that to the judge.
141
00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:57,026
Half of us are in here on some
special plea-bargain bullshit.
142
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,771
- Leave me alone.
- Hey, I'm just working the program, man.
143
00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:07,297
I'm just laying it all out there like it is.
You can take it or leave it.
144
00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:09,082
- I'll fucking leave it, thanks.
145
00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:13,216
- Tsk. Alright, well,
I'm glad we worked that out.
146
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:16,480
I'm just gonna leave this on your pillow.
147
00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:24,461
- Appreciate the cigars, Hank.
148
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,638
Are you shitting me?
In a T-shirt?
149
00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:29,727
You're outta your fucking mind,
kid.
150
00:16:29,771 --> 00:16:31,338
- Hop in front.
151
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:42,001
Hmm. You got kinda fucked up,
huh?
152
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:45,265
- No, I was just born
this fucking way.
153
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,140
Here, hold on.
154
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,101
I used to wear this when I was working on the boat.
Take it. It's a good jacket.
155
00:16:55,144 --> 00:16:56,841
- No, I'm good. It's okay.
156
00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:59,018
- You don't owe me anything.
Now, take it.
157
00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:02,804
- Alright.
158
00:17:02,847 --> 00:17:05,285
- It's a lucky fucking jacket.
159
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:16,035
: The ultimate pizza
has arrived!
160
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:20,778
With zesty herbs and spices and thicker
pepperoni for a new pizza experience.
161
00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:22,171
One bite...
162
00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:24,608
- Let's get those X-rays, huh?
163
00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:07,434
� You were tired...
164
00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:13,048
♪ And you want to be free
165
00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:17,879
♪ My love is growing stronger
166
00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:23,232
♪ As you become a habit to me
167
00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:26,757
♪ Ooh been loving you
168
00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:28,846
: Motherfucking bitch!
169
00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:31,719
Take me... take me back, please.
170
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:35,505
These are your friends
that talk shit about me?!
171
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:38,508
Alright, you guys, look, look,
it's about you and me, baby.
172
00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:40,206
It's you...
You believe me, right?
173
00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:43,209
You pig-faced motherfucker!
Baby, baby,
174
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:45,689
bail me out, okay?
175
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,043
� ...On my knees
176
00:18:52,087 --> 00:18:54,916
♪ Please don't make me
stop now ♪
177
00:18:56,918 --> 00:19:00,226
♪ I love you I love you
178
00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:03,403
♪ I love you with all my heart
And I can't stop ♪♪
179
00:19:25,947 --> 00:19:27,122
- Hmm.
180
00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:31,866
You know,
you did a shitty job yesterday.
181
00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:35,609
Looked pretty clean to me.
182
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,221
- That's because you're filth.
183
00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:41,702
And you don't know
what clean is.
184
00:19:41,745 --> 00:19:43,443
- What's your problem?
185
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,488
- I don't have a problem.
People like you, you come in here,
186
00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:47,490
you've got the world
handed to you on a plate.
187
00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:48,883
You know?
You don't know shit.
188
00:19:48,926 --> 00:19:51,059
- Alright, Roy,
get the fuck outta here.
189
00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:53,801
- No, not until you learn how to clean.
You need to learn how to clean.
190
00:19:53,844 --> 00:19:56,107
- Oh, that's right.
You want it to be spotless, right?
191
00:19:56,151 --> 00:19:58,588
- And it will be spotless.
- Let's start with you. - Oh, goddammit! Help!
192
00:19:58,632 --> 00:20:00,373
- Clean up?
- No! Help! Help!
193
00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:02,940
Stop! Stop it! Stop! Help!
194
00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:05,160
- You're kidding?
- He's trying to kill me.
195
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,075
- It's fucking water.
- Help! Help. - Jesus.
196
00:20:07,118 --> 00:20:09,947
- What are you doing?
- Roy, get the fuck up.
197
00:20:09,991 --> 00:20:11,993
- No!
- Come on, man.
198
00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:14,865
- Stay away from me! Stay the fuck--
- What's going on in here?
199
00:20:14,909 --> 00:20:16,650
Wait, wait, wait.
Hey, whoa, whoa.
200
00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:18,739
He's outta his fucking mind!
201
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:20,828
- Get the fuck off me, you shit.
202
00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:23,570
It's alright. I'm okay. I'm okay.
203
00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:27,574
I just... Oh, my God.
204
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:36,974
- Hey, this is Bob. I'm out.
Leave a message.
205
00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:41,240
: Bob... Jesus...
Where are you, man?
206
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:43,764
I just need to talk to you.
I just...
207
00:20:43,807 --> 00:20:45,505
Goddammit!
208
00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:49,030
These detox pills are just...
fucking with my head!
209
00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:53,774
I can't... I can't do this.
210
00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:56,167
I'm sorry, buddy. I'm sorry.
211
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:19,234
- Come with me, James.
212
00:21:23,238 --> 00:21:26,328
- Look, if you're gonna fucking kick me out,
just do it, man.
213
00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:28,199
- Want to tell me what happened,
James?
214
00:21:28,243 --> 00:21:30,680
'Cause I heard you were
threatening a fellow patient.
215
00:21:30,724 --> 00:21:32,943
- I didn't lay a fucking finger
on him.
216
00:21:32,987 --> 00:21:37,034
He's just a fucking retard playing boss,
trying to treat me like his bitch.
217
00:21:37,078 --> 00:21:39,298
- Okay, calm down.
- Alright, fuck you, man.
218
00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:41,909
- I said, calm down.
- Or what? You're gonna fuckin' throw me out?
219
00:21:41,952 --> 00:21:43,824
- Listen to me, James.
220
00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:45,391
You're wanted in three states.
221
00:21:45,434 --> 00:21:48,176
You do anything out there
right now - anything -
222
00:21:48,219 --> 00:21:49,046
you're going to prison.
223
00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:51,310
That what you want?
224
00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:55,226
- I guess that rules the presidency out, then, huh?
- You know what, Lincoln?
225
00:21:55,270 --> 00:21:58,882
Um... why don't you go check
on Roy?
226
00:21:59,448 --> 00:22:02,886
- Ahem. That's a good idea.
- Yeah, why don't you go check on Roy?
227
00:22:20,469 --> 00:22:22,558
Look, truth is,
I don't need to be here.
228
00:22:22,602 --> 00:22:25,256
I'm not like these other people.
I had an accident, okay?
229
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:27,868
And everyone's making
a big deal out of nothing.
230
00:22:27,911 --> 00:22:29,478
- Is it really nothing?
231
00:22:31,611 --> 00:22:34,048
- It's been a bad time recently.
232
00:22:34,091 --> 00:22:35,484
Y'know, I'll admit that.
233
00:22:38,052 --> 00:22:40,663
I just need some time
to figure it out.
234
00:22:40,707 --> 00:22:43,405
- That's exactly
what this time is.
235
00:22:43,449 --> 00:22:46,365
- No, this... this is about AA.
236
00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:49,455
And it's dog shit if you really
want to know what I think.
237
00:22:49,498 --> 00:22:50,804
- I don't.
238
00:22:52,022 --> 00:22:54,024
I know that this program works.
239
00:22:54,068 --> 00:22:57,071
And it seems to me,
you might not have given it a try.
240
00:22:57,114 --> 00:22:58,725
- 'Cause there's no fucking
point.
241
00:23:00,727 --> 00:23:02,598
You know why? 'Cause it's based around God,
and I don't believe in God.
242
00:23:02,642 --> 00:23:05,601
- God. A higher power,
a power greater than yourself
243
00:23:05,645 --> 00:23:08,952
- Either way, however you want to put it,
higher power,
244
00:23:08,996 --> 00:23:11,390
what you actually mean is God.
Right?
245
00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:14,088
Mr. Frey,
I'm gonna level with you.
246
00:23:14,958 --> 00:23:16,917
We are a drug-rehabilitation
centre
247
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,310
whose sole purpose
is to help addicts.
248
00:23:19,354 --> 00:23:21,878
Not Christians or Jews,
249
00:23:21,922 --> 00:23:24,446
or Muslims or Buddhists...
but addicts.
250
00:23:24,490 --> 00:23:27,057
And every addict
needs structure.
251
00:23:27,101 --> 00:23:30,757
They need a strong foundation and support
system if they ever hope to survive.
252
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,237
- Who said I'm an addict?
I'm not an addict.
253
00:23:34,674 --> 00:23:37,633
- Mm.
- I'm not an addict. Okay?
254
00:23:37,677 --> 00:23:41,028
- Okay.
- I might be fucked up. I'm not an addict.
255
00:23:42,551 --> 00:23:46,163
- Well, we have a saying here:
It's one day at a time.
256
00:23:46,207 --> 00:23:48,339
And in about 10 minutes,
it's breakfast.
257
00:23:48,383 --> 00:23:52,735
I'll be in room 312 if you want
to talk to me about anything.
258
00:23:52,779 --> 00:23:54,128
Okay?
259
00:23:58,393 --> 00:24:01,440
- I can't take these...
fucking meds anymore.
260
00:24:03,877 --> 00:24:06,357
- I'll talk to Dr. Baker
for you, okay?
261
00:24:06,575 --> 00:24:08,403
The first week's the hardest.
262
00:25:03,937 --> 00:25:06,200
...spinach and roughage.
263
00:25:06,243 --> 00:25:07,984
Double of everything.
264
00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:22,129
What do you say, James?
Are you fucked up?
265
00:25:22,956 --> 00:25:26,525
'Cause I'm a little fucked up.
My buddies are fucked up.
266
00:25:27,308 --> 00:25:30,267
So we thought we might
just eat here with you, y'know?
267
00:25:30,311 --> 00:25:32,487
This is the fucked-up table,
right?
268
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,577
- It is now.
269
00:25:35,621 --> 00:25:37,971
- This is Ed and that's Ted.
No relation.
270
00:25:38,014 --> 00:25:40,495
So Ed here fucked
his best friend's wife.
271
00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:44,673
His best friend got pissed off and pulled his hair plugs out.
Ain't that some shit?
272
00:25:44,717 --> 00:25:47,197
That's why he wears
that Bon Jovi thing.
273
00:25:47,241 --> 00:25:50,636
- Look, no offense, but, uh,
I don't want to be friends.
274
00:25:50,679 --> 00:25:54,117
- I understand that.
The last fucking thing I need is more friends.
275
00:25:54,509 --> 00:25:58,295
Just thought it was kinda funny the way you whipped Roy's ass.
He's a little weasel, y'know?
276
00:25:58,339 --> 00:25:59,688
I didn't.
277
00:26:00,907 --> 00:26:02,604
- Really?
278
00:26:02,648 --> 00:26:04,519
Alright, then--
279
00:26:05,172 --> 00:26:08,567
You guys know if that's chicken or fish?
Should we just roll the dice?
280
00:26:08,915 --> 00:26:10,699
- Did you hear what I said,
James?
281
00:26:11,918 --> 00:26:13,702
Do you understand what I said?
282
00:26:16,270 --> 00:26:18,054
Let me put it more bluntly.
283
00:26:18,707 --> 00:26:21,101
We've looked
at all your blood work,
284
00:26:21,144 --> 00:26:22,581
examined all the tests.
285
00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:28,630
Your body has suffered a pattern of such
profound and prolonged abuse, I'm...
286
00:26:28,674 --> 00:26:32,155
surprised you can even stand,
let alone walk.
287
00:26:33,722 --> 00:26:37,204
You've done near-fatal damage
to all your major organs.
288
00:26:38,031 --> 00:26:39,902
Lungs, stomach, bladder,
289
00:26:39,946 --> 00:26:42,557
kidneys, liver, your heart.
290
00:26:43,384 --> 00:26:44,646
Everything.
291
00:26:48,171 --> 00:26:49,738
I've never seen...
292
00:26:49,782 --> 00:26:53,350
this degree of degradation
in someone so young.
293
00:26:53,916 --> 00:26:56,310
If you were to start
using again,
294
00:26:56,353 --> 00:26:59,705
it's more than likely that you would go into cardiac arrest immediately.
295
00:26:59,748 --> 00:27:01,402
And that would be it.
296
00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:10,977
Ah!
297
00:27:13,066 --> 00:27:16,765
- Even a single drink could
result in death within days.
298
00:27:17,766 --> 00:27:19,072
The end.
299
00:27:20,334 --> 00:27:21,596
Finished.
300
00:27:36,089 --> 00:27:39,135
- Oh! What the fuck, John?!
Get the fuck outta here, man!
301
00:27:39,179 --> 00:27:41,442
- I just thought you might want
some company.
302
00:27:41,485 --> 00:27:43,792
- Get the fuck out, John.
- No, it's okay. - No, it's not okay.
303
00:27:43,836 --> 00:27:46,186
- Just put it in my mouth.
- It's not okay. - Just try it.
304
00:27:46,229 --> 00:27:48,797
- No. What are you doing?!
Get off your fuckin' knees, goddammit. Get up!
305
00:27:48,841 --> 00:27:50,451
- No. Ah, come on.
306
00:27:53,802 --> 00:27:56,936
Fuck. Stop! Stop, stop!
307
00:27:58,415 --> 00:28:00,679
I'm sorry.
- Put on a fucking towel.
308
00:28:01,375 --> 00:28:04,508
- You can hit me if you want.
- No, no, no. I don't want to hit you.
309
00:28:04,552 --> 00:28:06,728
- Yeah, you do. I can see that.
You're mad at me.
310
00:28:06,772 --> 00:28:09,339
- No, I don't. - I did something wrong.
- John, I'm not gonna hit you.
311
00:28:09,383 --> 00:28:11,864
- Come on, it's fun. You can hit me.
- No, it's not fun.
312
00:28:11,907 --> 00:28:14,344
I don't find it--
- Hit me! - Stay off me.
313
00:28:14,388 --> 00:28:16,564
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Goddammit, John. - I'm sorry.
314
00:28:16,607 --> 00:28:18,305
- Leave me alone.
- I'm sorry.
315
00:28:18,348 --> 00:28:19,654
It's alright.
316
00:28:39,848 --> 00:28:42,329
- Having succeeded in a lot
of things in my life,
317
00:28:42,372 --> 00:28:45,811
I think my biggest fear was that I wasn't gonna succeed in this.
318
00:28:45,854 --> 00:28:48,248
But you guys give me
an incredible gift.
319
00:28:48,291 --> 00:28:49,728
A gift that I know...
320
00:28:49,771 --> 00:28:52,295
I give him two weeks.
321
00:28:53,427 --> 00:28:54,907
- I give him one.
322
00:28:54,950 --> 00:28:57,257
- No, it'll be two.
You want to make a wager?
323
00:28:57,300 --> 00:28:59,128
: One step at a time.
Thank you.
324
00:28:59,172 --> 00:29:01,696
All this is bullshit.
325
00:29:15,101 --> 00:29:18,365
- Hey, hang on a second, kid.
- Oh, God, leave me alone.
326
00:29:18,408 --> 00:29:20,497
- Come back inside.
Let's talk. Come on.
327
00:29:20,541 --> 00:29:22,282
- Stop fucking following me!
Stop!
328
00:29:22,325 --> 00:29:24,327
- What are you so goddamn
afraid of?
329
00:29:25,111 --> 00:29:29,028
- Fuck you.
- Yeah, fuck me, fuck everybody, go fuck yourself.
330
00:29:29,071 --> 00:29:31,073
Die in the street
in your own puke.
331
00:29:31,117 --> 00:29:33,510
- Why do you give a shit?
- You know, frankly, I don't give a shit.
332
00:29:33,554 --> 00:29:35,121
- Well, then, fuck off!
- Ha!
333
00:29:35,164 --> 00:29:37,210
Really?
I think you do fucking care.
334
00:29:37,253 --> 00:29:39,299
I also think
you're a fucking pussy
335
00:29:39,342 --> 00:29:41,997
and you don't have the balls
to face it!
336
00:29:42,041 --> 00:29:43,869
That's what I think!
337
00:29:43,912 --> 00:29:47,307
So you do have life left in you.
- What is it you fucking want?
338
00:29:47,350 --> 00:29:49,570
- It's not what I want.
It's what you want.
339
00:29:49,613 --> 00:29:51,833
You're choking to death,
you're so fucking scared.
340
00:29:51,877 --> 00:29:55,619
But it's a trick. It's a mind-fuck.
You can win this thing.
341
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:58,709
You can win it.
342
00:29:58,753 --> 00:30:00,363
- I can't.
- Yeah, you can!
343
00:30:03,932 --> 00:30:05,847
Why don't you fuckin' let go
of me?
344
00:30:05,891 --> 00:30:07,762
I got ribs
like a fuckin' blue jay.
345
00:30:14,769 --> 00:30:18,033
Tell you what.
I'll make a deal with you.
346
00:30:18,077 --> 00:30:20,557
You go back in there
for 24 hours -
347
00:30:20,601 --> 00:30:22,777
just give it 24 hours,
that's it -
348
00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:25,911
and if you still feel this way
this time tomorrow,
349
00:30:25,954 --> 00:30:28,652
I'll pack your bags and send
you away with a sandwich.
350
00:30:35,398 --> 00:30:36,835
Twenty-four fucking hours.
351
00:30:38,271 --> 00:30:39,533
Deal?
352
00:30:44,973 --> 00:30:48,629
- It doesn't mean we're fucking friends.
- Damn right it doesn't.
353
00:31:00,554 --> 00:31:02,512
- Didn't appreciate you disrespecting our room the other day.
354
00:31:02,556 --> 00:31:05,124
You might think this is a joke,
but it's not for me.
355
00:31:05,167 --> 00:31:06,908
- Well, I'm not gonna be here
much longer,
356
00:31:06,952 --> 00:31:09,128
so you can enjoy sticking that
in your asshole tonight.
357
00:31:09,171 --> 00:31:11,478
- Well, meantime,
I can do without your bullshit.
358
00:31:11,521 --> 00:31:14,437
- Yeah, I can do without your murdering the goddamn clarinet!
359
00:31:27,233 --> 00:31:28,582
Ah!
360
00:31:34,849 --> 00:31:37,025
Ah, goddammit.
361
00:32:14,715 --> 00:32:16,804
- What's up, buddy?
- Wow.
362
00:32:18,719 --> 00:32:20,199
What are you doing here?
363
00:32:21,069 --> 00:32:23,898
- It's visiting day.
What you think I'm doing?
364
00:32:27,510 --> 00:32:28,903
- What's all this?
365
00:32:29,730 --> 00:32:31,688
- I, uh, brought you some stuff.
366
00:32:31,732 --> 00:32:33,690
- You didn't have to do that.
367
00:32:33,734 --> 00:32:35,605
- I wanted to.
Here, take a look.
368
00:32:35,649 --> 00:32:37,085
- I'd rather just talk.
369
00:32:38,521 --> 00:32:39,914
- Just take a look.
370
00:32:45,398 --> 00:32:47,922
Good job, Mom.
371
00:32:48,662 --> 00:32:49,968
- There's more.
372
00:33:02,937 --> 00:33:06,375
Bunch of people reached out,
wanted to see how you're doing.
373
00:33:07,376 --> 00:33:09,248
Julie and Kirk send their best.
374
00:33:10,771 --> 00:33:13,426
- What about Arctic Eyes?
She check in with you yet?
375
00:33:14,688 --> 00:33:16,995
- Uh, no.
No, nothing from her.
376
00:33:29,050 --> 00:33:30,356
I quit.
377
00:33:44,370 --> 00:33:46,720
- What if I'm fucked up
beyond repair?
378
00:33:51,072 --> 00:33:53,118
- I saw this thing on TV,
379
00:33:53,161 --> 00:33:55,381
about how in Japan...
380
00:33:56,295 --> 00:33:59,776
...they, like...
repair broken objects with gold.
381
00:34:00,734 --> 00:34:03,563
It's like the flaw
becomes a part of its history.
382
00:34:03,606 --> 00:34:05,391
Part of what makes it beautiful.
383
00:34:06,305 --> 00:34:08,785
- Nothing about what I am
is beautiful.
384
00:34:11,005 --> 00:34:13,573
- I was thinking maybe you
should get some gold teeth.
385
00:34:17,185 --> 00:34:20,841
- Only 15 % stay sober
after they leave this place.
386
00:34:21,842 --> 00:34:24,062
And that's only
after the first year.
387
00:34:24,105 --> 00:34:28,153
Those are the real statistics.
The ones they don't advertise.
388
00:34:30,198 --> 00:34:32,026
- Why are saying that shit?
389
00:34:32,766 --> 00:34:34,072
- It's a fact.
390
00:34:38,032 --> 00:34:39,425
- Who's that?
391
00:34:40,861 --> 00:34:42,167
Come on.
392
00:34:42,210 --> 00:34:44,082
Let's go back.
393
00:34:44,647 --> 00:34:46,954
- I think I might just stay here
a while.
394
00:34:51,524 --> 00:34:52,786
- Yeah?
395
00:34:57,660 --> 00:34:59,053
See you next week.
396
00:35:03,449 --> 00:35:05,842
I'm gonna see you next week.
397
00:35:05,886 --> 00:35:07,061
- Sure.
398
00:35:23,686 --> 00:35:25,601
Why are you calling me?
399
00:35:25,645 --> 00:35:28,822
- But didn't anyone tell you
where I am or...
400
00:35:28,865 --> 00:35:30,215
what I'm doing? I mean--
401
00:35:30,258 --> 00:35:32,173
- James,
this really isn't a good time.
402
00:35:32,217 --> 00:35:34,915
- What do you think this is for me,
fucking party time?
403
00:35:34,958 --> 00:35:36,917
James, I'm not doing this right now!
404
00:35:48,929 --> 00:35:53,151
- Look, I didn't mean that.
I know I put you through a lot.
405
00:35:53,194 --> 00:35:57,155
I just thought you'd be... happy
I was here, is all, y'know?
406
00:35:57,198 --> 00:35:58,591
- I am.
407
00:35:59,722 --> 00:36:01,202
- Wait, who is this?
408
00:36:01,246 --> 00:36:03,683
- I thought you knew.
Now I'm offended.
409
00:36:03,726 --> 00:36:06,164
- No, don't be.
I just wasn't expecting...
410
00:36:07,948 --> 00:36:09,689
Who is this?
411
00:36:09,732 --> 00:36:12,909
- My grandma thought
you were very handsome today.
412
00:36:12,953 --> 00:36:16,174
- Oh, she did, did she?
You sure she didn't mean my brother?
413
00:36:17,305 --> 00:36:20,395
How did you know I'd answer?
414
00:36:20,439 --> 00:36:22,702
- I didn't.
415
00:36:22,745 --> 00:36:26,184
Hey, you know we're the youngest two in here by at least 10 years?
416
00:36:26,749 --> 00:36:28,969
- No, I-I didn't know that.
How'd you know that?
417
00:36:29,012 --> 00:36:31,493
- It's bullshit that men and women can't talk to each other.
418
00:36:31,537 --> 00:36:33,365
- Hmm. Yeah.
419
00:36:33,408 --> 00:36:37,369
I guess it's not supposed to feel like the real world in here.
420
00:36:37,412 --> 00:36:40,285
- They're shutting us off from something that's completely natural.
421
00:36:40,328 --> 00:36:44,202
What am I supposed to do?
Leave this place and never talk to another man again?
422
00:36:44,245 --> 00:36:46,508
Shit, I can't quit that too.
423
00:36:46,552 --> 00:36:47,770
- Hmm.
424
00:36:50,947 --> 00:36:52,993
I'm glad you called.
425
00:36:54,255 --> 00:36:56,475
- I'm lucky I got you.
- Huh.
426
00:36:57,911 --> 00:36:59,782
- See you in the Lecture Hall,
I guess.
427
00:37:01,784 --> 00:37:03,221
- Turn around.
428
00:37:04,265 --> 00:37:06,180
- Turn around?
- Yeah.
429
00:37:10,010 --> 00:37:11,229
- Oops.
430
00:37:12,491 --> 00:37:13,753
Busted.
431
00:37:15,798 --> 00:37:18,627
It wasn't my grandma that thought you were handsome.
432
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,716
It was me.
433
00:37:58,624 --> 00:38:00,234
� Still
434
00:38:02,976 --> 00:38:04,543
♪ Falling
435
00:38:09,722 --> 00:38:13,291
♪ Breathless and on...
436
00:38:14,074 --> 00:38:15,641
♪ Again
437
00:38:21,081 --> 00:38:22,648
♪ Inside
438
00:38:25,433 --> 00:38:27,261
♪ Today
439
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:35,269
♪ Beside me
440
00:38:36,705 --> 00:38:38,316
♪ Today
441
00:38:43,582 --> 00:38:45,801
♪ A round
442
00:38:45,845 --> 00:38:47,629
♪ Broken
443
00:38:47,673 --> 00:38:49,762
♪ In two ♪
444
00:38:56,290 --> 00:38:58,727
- James. She's pretty, right?
445
00:38:58,771 --> 00:39:00,860
- Um, yeah, she's pretty, yes.
446
00:39:00,903 --> 00:39:03,384
- She's 22. Come here.
You can take her out if you want.
447
00:39:03,428 --> 00:39:06,779
I feel bad about the other day,
and I want to make it up to you.
448
00:39:06,822 --> 00:39:09,738
- Okay, okay, let it go.
- No, you can do whatever you want to her.
449
00:39:09,782 --> 00:39:11,740
I'm her father,
so she'll do what I say.
450
00:39:11,784 --> 00:39:14,090
- Jesus Christ!
- What, is that bad?
451
00:39:14,134 --> 00:39:16,049
- She's your fucking daughter,
man.
452
00:39:16,092 --> 00:39:17,572
So, yeah.
453
00:39:17,616 --> 00:39:19,661
- Oh, I'm sorry, man.
454
00:39:19,705 --> 00:39:21,663
Fucking judgmental prick.
455
00:39:21,707 --> 00:39:23,317
- Appreciate that.
456
00:39:28,322 --> 00:39:31,151
- Goddamn, that'll make
a gorilla shit the tree house.
457
00:39:31,194 --> 00:39:33,719
- Mm-hmm.
I'm glad I can be of service.
458
00:39:34,415 --> 00:39:38,158
- So you decided to flip the tables, huh?
- What?
459
00:39:38,506 --> 00:39:41,291
- Well, it's been longer than 24 hours.
You're still here.
460
00:39:41,944 --> 00:39:44,207
- I was just on my way out,
actually.
461
00:39:44,251 --> 00:39:47,472
- There's no shame in it. You decided to stay.
- No, I decided not to leave.
462
00:39:47,515 --> 00:39:50,649
Don't want to be responsible for you having
a fucking heart attack trying to stop me.
463
00:39:50,692 --> 00:39:52,564
- So it was an entirely
selfless act?
464
00:39:52,607 --> 00:39:55,044
- Fuck you.
- No matter how you slice it...
465
00:39:55,088 --> 00:39:57,220
We were having
a conversation here, James.
466
00:39:57,264 --> 00:39:59,397
I was just getting
to the good shit.
467
00:40:01,529 --> 00:40:04,793
- Alright, you ready
for your brand-new smile?
468
00:40:04,837 --> 00:40:06,491
- What's wrong with this one?
469
00:40:06,534 --> 00:40:08,971
- Nothing. They're perfect.
Let's get outta here.
470
00:40:09,537 --> 00:40:11,321
Alright, kid, look.
471
00:40:11,365 --> 00:40:13,715
I know you got a pair of balls
of your own, but...
472
00:40:13,759 --> 00:40:16,326
I figure you might need these,
too.
473
00:40:16,370 --> 00:40:17,676
- Why?
474
00:40:19,373 --> 00:40:22,158
- James, they're not gonna
give you... anesthesia,
475
00:40:22,202 --> 00:40:23,682
painkillers, none of it.
476
00:40:25,118 --> 00:40:26,685
They can't.
477
00:40:26,728 --> 00:40:29,122
Not while you're a patient
at the treatment centre.
478
00:40:31,298 --> 00:40:32,778
- Okay.
479
00:40:33,996 --> 00:40:35,389
- It starts hurting...
480
00:40:36,216 --> 00:40:37,783
...you start squeezing.
481
00:40:39,219 --> 00:40:40,438
- Alrighty.
482
00:40:42,135 --> 00:40:45,443
Here we go.
Okay, I am just gonna lower you just a bit.
483
00:40:45,486 --> 00:40:47,140
- Mm-hmm.
- James...
484
00:40:47,183 --> 00:40:48,576
There we go.
485
00:40:53,712 --> 00:40:55,453
Do you mind
if we move the book?
486
00:40:57,411 --> 00:40:59,892
- I... I'd rather you didn't.
487
00:41:00,588 --> 00:41:01,894
- Okay, okay.
488
00:41:03,025 --> 00:41:05,201
Here we come, James.
489
00:41:05,245 --> 00:41:07,465
Open. Please turn towards me.
490
00:41:07,508 --> 00:41:10,206
- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you. Just...
491
00:41:10,250 --> 00:41:12,731
Mm-hmm.
I'm just checking things.
492
00:41:13,601 --> 00:41:15,385
Okay. - Oh!
- Ah! Okay.
493
00:41:15,429 --> 00:41:16,909
Cotton, please?
494
00:41:18,824 --> 00:41:20,478
Alright.
495
00:41:23,611 --> 00:41:25,439
Okay. Ahem.
496
00:41:27,049 --> 00:41:29,922
We've gotta move quickly.
Here we go.
497
00:41:30,749 --> 00:41:32,446
And here we...
498
00:41:42,630 --> 00:41:44,066
- Ah!
499
00:41:54,947 --> 00:41:57,297
Ah...
500
00:41:59,952 --> 00:42:02,868
- This is... this is just a precaution.
- For what?
501
00:42:02,911 --> 00:42:05,827
- So I don't injure
the back of your throat.
502
00:42:05,871 --> 00:42:08,090
- My throat?
- I need you to be still.
503
00:42:08,134 --> 00:42:10,049
But in case,
this is a precaution.
504
00:42:10,092 --> 00:42:12,530
We'll move as fast as we can,
James.
505
00:42:13,313 --> 00:42:15,010
- Okay.
- Alright, tight.
506
00:42:15,837 --> 00:42:17,796
Okay, hold his head.
507
00:42:18,623 --> 00:42:20,059
Are you ready?
508
00:42:20,102 --> 00:42:22,365
Okay, here we go.
509
00:42:22,888 --> 00:42:26,326
Here we go, James.
Open. Open. Okay.
510
00:42:59,838 --> 00:43:01,535
- Oh, shit.
511
00:43:21,642 --> 00:43:23,165
- You found me.
512
00:43:24,384 --> 00:43:25,733
Well, come in.
513
00:43:26,168 --> 00:43:28,388
There's the couch there
if you'd like.
514
00:43:32,174 --> 00:43:33,611
Coffee?
- Hmm?
515
00:43:35,961 --> 00:43:37,571
Sure. Thanks.
516
00:43:41,836 --> 00:43:43,751
That's yours?
517
00:43:45,057 --> 00:43:47,059
- No, that's my boyfriend's.
518
00:43:47,973 --> 00:43:49,627
I ride.
519
00:43:49,670 --> 00:43:51,280
Yeah.
520
00:43:51,324 --> 00:43:52,978
Had him about 10 years.
521
00:43:54,414 --> 00:43:56,024
Turns out...
522
00:43:56,068 --> 00:43:58,810
there's a way to feed the soul,
not just destroy it.
523
00:44:01,421 --> 00:44:05,294
- We'd go on fishing trips...
now and then.
524
00:44:05,338 --> 00:44:07,993
I was never good with a rod,
but...
525
00:44:08,689 --> 00:44:10,648
...I can drink like a fish.
526
00:44:12,606 --> 00:44:14,390
- Yeah.
527
00:44:14,434 --> 00:44:16,044
I could too once.
528
00:44:17,785 --> 00:44:20,527
- But you're not AA.
- Yeah.
529
00:44:20,570 --> 00:44:22,007
We're all AA here.
530
00:44:22,790 --> 00:44:24,705
Everyone who works
in this joint,
531
00:44:24,749 --> 00:44:26,664
from the janitors
to the counsellors.
532
00:44:26,707 --> 00:44:28,666
We're all addicts.
533
00:44:35,803 --> 00:44:39,067
- Well, I don't know how I'm supposed to...
leave here
534
00:44:39,111 --> 00:44:42,680
and never smoke crack or drink
a drop of alcohol again.
535
00:44:43,811 --> 00:44:47,249
You expect me to do that
for the rest of my fucking life?
536
00:44:48,468 --> 00:44:49,817
I love crack.
537
00:44:50,644 --> 00:44:52,254
I fuckin' love it.
538
00:44:54,953 --> 00:44:57,259
And I can't stop. I can't.
539
00:44:58,130 --> 00:45:01,524
- James, as soon as you realize
that there is no choice,
540
00:45:01,568 --> 00:45:03,352
there's a choice.
541
00:45:03,396 --> 00:45:04,702
You see?
542
00:45:06,399 --> 00:45:08,531
- Sounds like a load
of horseshit.
543
00:45:08,575 --> 00:45:10,098
- Maybe.
544
00:45:10,142 --> 00:45:12,231
But it works.
545
00:45:12,274 --> 00:45:13,972
You just did the first step.
546
00:45:16,278 --> 00:45:19,673
- Well, if it's one of the 12,
it's the only one I'm doing.
547
00:45:20,630 --> 00:45:22,241
- Which brings us to...
548
00:45:22,284 --> 00:45:23,764
step five.
549
00:45:23,808 --> 00:45:26,027
The fifth step.
550
00:45:26,071 --> 00:45:28,769
We have admitted to God,
to ourselves,
551
00:45:28,813 --> 00:45:32,991
and to another human being,
the exact nature of our wrongs.
552
00:45:33,513 --> 00:45:37,038
Now, what I want to say
about that is that...
553
00:45:37,082 --> 00:45:39,084
your sins are pardonable.
554
00:45:40,172 --> 00:45:42,043
There is forgiveness.
555
00:45:42,087 --> 00:45:44,654
That's really
what the fifth step is about.
556
00:45:44,698 --> 00:45:47,048
Forgiveness through confession.
557
00:45:48,615 --> 00:45:52,271
Seeking to forgive others
that we believe have harmed us.
558
00:47:14,396 --> 00:47:15,745
- "What is rooted will grow.
559
00:47:15,789 --> 00:47:18,923
A giant tree grows
from a single seed.
560
00:47:18,966 --> 00:47:23,362
The journey of a thousand miles
starts with a single step.
561
00:47:23,405 --> 00:47:26,756
If you have nothing,
you have nothing to lose.
562
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:29,107
Roy!
563
00:47:29,150 --> 00:47:31,109
- Get back, old man!
You're in my way!
564
00:47:31,152 --> 00:47:32,632
Get back, old man!
Stand down!
565
00:47:32,675 --> 00:47:34,721
Fuck you! Get back!
Get back! Get back!
566
00:47:34,764 --> 00:47:38,333
Look at me again and I swear to God,
I'll bash your brains in, man!
567
00:47:38,377 --> 00:47:40,248
I swear to God!
- Roy?
568
00:47:40,292 --> 00:47:43,425
I'll kill you. I'll fuckin'...
You.
569
00:47:43,469 --> 00:47:45,775
C'mere. Come on. Come on!
570
00:47:45,819 --> 00:47:48,126
Come on, you! Come on.
571
00:47:48,169 --> 00:47:50,041
C'mere, c'mere.
572
00:47:51,216 --> 00:47:54,306
- What do you want, Roy?
- Roy? There's no Roy!
573
00:47:54,349 --> 00:47:56,743
I'm a fucking god!
574
00:47:56,786 --> 00:48:00,094
And the only thing between you
and me is this fucking staff!
575
00:48:00,138 --> 00:48:01,879
You hear me? So you submit.
576
00:48:01,922 --> 00:48:03,750
- Roy, put the fucking lamp down, okay?
577
00:48:03,793 --> 00:48:05,360
- Submit!
You will submit to me,
578
00:48:05,404 --> 00:48:07,841
or I swear to God,
I'll fucking injure you.
579
00:48:07,885 --> 00:48:09,930
- Alright, alright, alright.
- Surrender. Shhh! Surr...
580
00:48:09,974 --> 00:48:12,454
No, no! No!
They don't like him!
581
00:48:12,498 --> 00:48:14,761
- Alright, alright.
It's just you and me. Look at me.
582
00:48:14,804 --> 00:48:16,197
- Surren... Shhh!
You didn't pray.
583
00:48:16,241 --> 00:48:18,373
I wanna help you.
You need to pray.
584
00:48:18,417 --> 00:48:20,680
And he's listening.
And you're gonna submit before God,
585
00:48:20,723 --> 00:48:22,247
or fight the Higher Power!
586
00:48:22,290 --> 00:48:24,902
Get on your knees! Get down...
587
00:48:24,945 --> 00:48:27,948
- Like this?
- Close your eyes.
588
00:48:27,992 --> 00:48:30,733
Close your eyes!
Put your hands together.
589
00:48:30,777 --> 00:48:33,127
We're gonna pray.
We're gonna pray.
590
00:48:33,171 --> 00:48:35,260
By a power greater than me,
591
00:48:35,303 --> 00:48:36,914
I'm gonna do you a service,
okay?
592
00:48:36,957 --> 00:48:38,567
No!
593
00:48:38,611 --> 00:48:41,701
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
594
00:48:41,744 --> 00:48:44,660
I'm sorry. I'm going to hell.
595
00:48:44,704 --> 00:48:47,837
- Show's over! - I'm sorry.
- Go back to your rooms!
596
00:48:50,014 --> 00:48:52,016
I said show's over!
597
00:49:02,287 --> 00:49:04,942
- You been here all night?
- Pretty much.
598
00:49:06,508 --> 00:49:08,641
- Let's take a walk.
599
00:49:08,684 --> 00:49:11,078
- What makes you think I'm going anywhere with you looking like that?
600
00:49:12,297 --> 00:49:14,821
- Looking like what?
- What the hell are you wearing?
601
00:49:14,864 --> 00:49:16,954
- Let me tell you something,
buddy boy.
602
00:49:16,997 --> 00:49:20,305
These glasses are a down payment on a pretty fuckin' decent car.
603
00:49:20,348 --> 00:49:22,742
Okay? You see this watch?
604
00:49:22,785 --> 00:49:24,526
There's enough gold
in this fucking watch,
605
00:49:24,570 --> 00:49:26,920
where if I hit you,
it'd kill you instantly.
606
00:49:26,964 --> 00:49:29,053
- I was talking
about the onesie.
607
00:49:29,096 --> 00:49:32,186
That's the kind of thing my mom would put me in for a family portrait.
608
00:49:32,230 --> 00:49:33,883
- Ah, yeah, whatever.
609
00:49:35,537 --> 00:49:37,757
How you doing?
610
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:39,280
- I dunno.
611
00:49:39,324 --> 00:49:40,978
Fine, I guess.
612
00:49:41,021 --> 00:49:43,328
- Cut the bullshit.
It's me you're talking to.
613
00:49:44,938 --> 00:49:46,896
Some days I feel okay,
614
00:49:46,940 --> 00:49:50,291
others I just want to crawl up
in a dark hole and die.
615
00:49:50,335 --> 00:49:52,511
- Well, good.
You're doing okay, then.
616
00:49:52,554 --> 00:49:54,513
Just hold on.
617
00:49:54,556 --> 00:49:56,950
- Oh, really? What would you know?
You're a fuckin' cokehead.
618
00:50:04,349 --> 00:50:06,438
- I was just a kid, y'know?
619
00:50:06,481 --> 00:50:09,310
And I was on the streets
for several months,
620
00:50:09,354 --> 00:50:11,965
and I met this guy,
Mike the Nose.
621
00:50:12,009 --> 00:50:13,923
How about that?
Mike the Nose?
622
00:50:15,577 --> 00:50:17,579
He was kind of like
the town hero.
623
00:50:17,623 --> 00:50:20,713
He was a gangster, had a Cadillac.
You know, the whole deal.
624
00:50:20,756 --> 00:50:23,455
Anyhow, he and his wife Geena,
they adopted me.
625
00:50:23,498 --> 00:50:25,979
Took me in
and made my life good.
626
00:50:28,286 --> 00:50:32,812
And then Geena gets cancer and she dies
way quicker than a human should have to.
627
00:50:35,162 --> 00:50:37,164
Of course,
Mike went off the rails.
628
00:50:38,296 --> 00:50:41,038
Got into coke and whores and,
y'know, liquor.
629
00:50:41,081 --> 00:50:42,735
The usual shit, y'know.
630
00:50:43,953 --> 00:50:47,174
And then he just...
just disappeared.
631
00:50:49,089 --> 00:50:50,786
And...
632
00:50:50,830 --> 00:50:52,484
I didn't have anybody.
633
00:50:54,834 --> 00:50:56,314
Completely lost.
634
00:50:57,924 --> 00:51:00,013
So I went after it pretty hard.
635
00:51:02,842 --> 00:51:04,191
About a year later...
636
00:51:05,018 --> 00:51:07,760
...one night,
I heard this noise in my kitchen.
637
00:51:09,414 --> 00:51:12,025
So I go downstairs -
with a gun, of course -
638
00:51:14,332 --> 00:51:19,076
and I nearly put one in the back of the head of this healthy-looking,
639
00:51:19,119 --> 00:51:21,252
put-together guy, y'know,
who was bitching
640
00:51:21,295 --> 00:51:23,210
about how my refrigerator
was empty.
641
00:51:25,647 --> 00:51:27,301
It was fuckin' Mike.
642
00:51:27,345 --> 00:51:28,868
- Huh.
643
00:51:30,043 --> 00:51:33,438
- And...
he told me about this place.
644
00:51:34,787 --> 00:51:36,745
And he said...
645
00:51:36,789 --> 00:51:38,791
"Lenny,
I've come to take you there."
646
00:51:39,879 --> 00:51:42,011
He said, "Now, you're gonna have
some shitty days,
647
00:51:42,055 --> 00:51:44,405
probably the shittiest days
you ever had in your life,
648
00:51:44,449 --> 00:51:46,581
and you're gonna have a pain
in your soul
649
00:51:46,625 --> 00:51:48,061
like you never dreamed
you'd have.
650
00:51:49,802 --> 00:51:51,456
But you'll get through it...
651
00:51:53,240 --> 00:51:56,548
...and you will live sober
and you will live free."
652
00:51:58,376 --> 00:52:01,422
- And did he live free
and sober, or...?
653
00:52:01,466 --> 00:52:04,121
- So that night,
we went out to celebrate.
654
00:52:04,860 --> 00:52:07,254
It was our first dinner
after all that time, y'know.
655
00:52:07,298 --> 00:52:11,215
Well, we finish up and we go out front to the valet to get the car,
656
00:52:11,258 --> 00:52:15,088
and he gets gunned down by a bunch of
motherfuckers that he owed money to.
657
00:52:17,090 --> 00:52:18,700
And that was it.
658
00:52:20,398 --> 00:52:22,095
You know what I did?
659
00:52:23,270 --> 00:52:25,142
- You came here.
660
00:52:26,708 --> 00:52:30,364
- I went and found every last
motherfucking one of those guys
661
00:52:30,408 --> 00:52:32,410
and the people they worked for.
662
00:52:33,933 --> 00:52:35,413
And then I came here.
663
00:52:37,937 --> 00:52:42,028
I'm tortured by who I used to be and all the horrific things I did.
664
00:52:43,116 --> 00:52:46,946
It just runs in a loop
in my head, some of it.
665
00:52:49,296 --> 00:52:52,125
And it...
and it might not look like it...
666
00:52:52,952 --> 00:52:55,955
...but I wanna kill myself
every fucking day.
667
00:52:58,523 --> 00:53:00,829
But I hold on.
668
00:53:00,873 --> 00:53:02,744
'Cause I think of Mike.
669
00:53:03,789 --> 00:53:06,444
'Cause I made a promise
and I don't break a promise.
670
00:53:09,534 --> 00:53:12,319
And I will live sober.
And I will live free.
671
00:53:15,714 --> 00:53:17,629
You think you could do that?
672
00:53:18,325 --> 00:53:20,153
You think you can hold on?
673
00:53:26,290 --> 00:53:31,120
: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
674
00:53:31,164 --> 00:53:34,211
the courage to change
the things I can,
675
00:53:34,254 --> 00:53:36,952
and the wisdom
to know the difference.
676
00:53:36,996 --> 00:53:38,563
- Good work today, guys.
677
00:53:39,999 --> 00:53:42,393
- You did good, kid.
678
00:53:42,436 --> 00:53:46,092
And you gotta remember, this fucking guy is a sheriff,
so keep that in mind, right?
679
00:53:46,135 --> 00:53:47,963
Well, he looks
exactly like Jackie Gleason.
680
00:53:48,007 --> 00:53:50,183
Where you going?
You're gonna learn something here.
681
00:53:51,358 --> 00:53:53,230
- Oh, fuck. I'm sorry.
682
00:53:58,670 --> 00:54:01,412
- Anyways, what he would do is,
he'd pull up in the front yard.
683
00:54:01,455 --> 00:54:03,805
He didn't get out of the car.
He honked the horn.
684
00:54:03,849 --> 00:54:06,895
So we all stagger out on the fuckin' porch,
all fucked up and everything...
685
00:54:23,695 --> 00:54:28,308
I can't remember,
but I was surprised he lived to 44, y'know.
686
00:54:28,352 --> 00:54:32,225
Mesothelioma, or whatever they call it now,
but back then...
687
00:54:34,706 --> 00:54:37,491
A recipe for disaster
is what it was.
688
00:54:37,535 --> 00:54:39,972
That's all I know.
689
00:54:55,335 --> 00:54:57,294
- Hi.
690
00:54:57,337 --> 00:54:58,860
Welcome.
691
00:55:02,647 --> 00:55:05,171
So I suppose
you have a girlfriend.
692
00:55:05,214 --> 00:55:06,955
- Why would you assume that?
693
00:55:06,999 --> 00:55:10,002
- 'Cause you went to college
and everybody in college
694
00:55:10,045 --> 00:55:12,744
is dating or fucking
or losing their virginity.
695
00:55:12,787 --> 00:55:15,442
- What makes you think I went to college?
- Did you?
696
00:55:17,183 --> 00:55:18,271
- Yeah.
697
00:55:20,665 --> 00:55:23,232
- So how'd you lose
your virginity?
698
00:55:23,276 --> 00:55:25,496
- How'd I lose my virginity?
699
00:55:25,539 --> 00:55:27,411
You... you don't wanna know.
700
00:55:27,454 --> 00:55:30,022
- Yeah, I do.
It says a lot about a person.
701
00:55:31,589 --> 00:55:33,895
- Uh... I was 16.
702
00:55:34,592 --> 00:55:36,985
That's pretty... pretty late,
right?
703
00:55:37,029 --> 00:55:41,729
You know, it is. No, I mean,
my friends had lost theirs two or three years before.
704
00:55:41,773 --> 00:55:45,472
So I was, uh...
feeling the pressure, you know?
705
00:55:46,908 --> 00:55:48,954
And, uh... it was prom night.
706
00:55:48,997 --> 00:55:51,304
- That's romantic.
- Well, mm... no.
707
00:55:51,348 --> 00:55:55,047
I didn't actually have a date,
and, uh...
708
00:55:59,399 --> 00:56:02,184
It was with a whore
in the back of my mom's car.
709
00:56:03,925 --> 00:56:06,363
She was fucking disgusting.
710
00:56:07,059 --> 00:56:11,368
And she smelled bad.
And she just talked to me in this fake dirty voice.
711
00:56:11,411 --> 00:56:13,631
It was over in seconds.
It was...
712
00:56:16,634 --> 00:56:18,244
...not at all romantic.
713
00:56:19,071 --> 00:56:21,769
And so I went home and said
I had a good evening and...
714
00:56:23,162 --> 00:56:26,818
...drank half a bottle of Wild Turkey and cried myself to sleep.
715
00:56:31,344 --> 00:56:33,607
It's pretty pathetic, I know.
716
00:56:33,651 --> 00:56:35,348
It's pathetic, huh?
717
00:56:36,349 --> 00:56:38,133
- No.
718
00:56:38,177 --> 00:56:41,006
It's not as pathetic
as attacking a baby tree.
719
00:56:41,049 --> 00:56:42,964
Fuck you.
720
00:56:46,272 --> 00:56:48,187
I never told anyone that
before.
721
00:56:58,676 --> 00:57:00,417
- What if I told you...
722
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:06,205
...that I lost my virginity as a whore instead of with one?
723
00:57:08,773 --> 00:57:10,427
- I would say I'm sorry.
724
00:57:15,997 --> 00:57:17,390
I'm sorry.
725
00:57:24,005 --> 00:57:26,530
How'd you find
this fucking place? It's, uh...
726
00:57:31,578 --> 00:57:34,407
You know we could get
thrown out for doing this?
727
00:57:39,151 --> 00:57:42,807
- A second of freedom is worth more than a lifetime of bondage.
728
00:57:46,332 --> 00:57:47,855
- Who said that?
729
00:57:49,422 --> 00:57:50,728
- I did.
730
00:57:52,164 --> 00:57:53,513
My grandma.
731
00:57:56,168 --> 00:57:57,604
- You really love her, huh?
732
00:57:59,606 --> 00:58:01,260
- More than anything.
733
00:58:07,527 --> 00:58:09,442
We should have a secret code.
734
00:58:10,269 --> 00:58:14,099
- Like... like what? Like how?
- I don't know, like, uh...
735
00:58:14,142 --> 00:58:17,015
the amount of plates
on your tray at lunch
736
00:58:17,058 --> 00:58:19,931
could mean the time
that we meet up later.
737
00:58:20,845 --> 00:58:24,239
- Yeah, I could do that.
It's... it's pretty easy.
738
00:58:24,283 --> 00:58:26,111
- Five plates?
- Five o'clock.
739
00:58:26,154 --> 00:58:29,201
- Five o'clock.
- Yeah, I get the concept.
740
00:58:36,295 --> 00:58:38,645
- I've been looking for you.
- Why?
741
00:58:40,865 --> 00:58:42,519
It's been opened.
742
00:58:42,562 --> 00:58:44,825
- What do you expect?
You're in rehab.
743
00:59:02,887 --> 00:59:05,019
- Failure is an opportunity.
744
00:59:06,325 --> 00:59:09,502
If you blame others...
there's no end to blame.
745
00:59:12,505 --> 00:59:14,159
Demand nothing...
746
00:59:15,073 --> 00:59:17,292
...and give all.
747
00:59:36,703 --> 00:59:38,357
What's going on?
748
00:59:42,143 --> 00:59:44,537
- I'm just... I'm just scared.
749
00:59:51,849 --> 00:59:53,285
- Why's that?
750
00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:01,598
- I'm... I'm... I'm leaving
and... and I...
751
01:00:03,948 --> 01:00:05,950
I... I know that I'm not better.
752
01:00:20,573 --> 01:00:23,750
I just... I just feel safe here,
but, uh, I...
753
01:00:26,579 --> 01:00:30,061
And I know I'm gonna do something stupid and end up back in prison.
754
01:00:31,192 --> 01:00:32,629
- Why do you think that?
755
01:00:36,415 --> 01:00:38,199
- Do you think I'm strong?
756
01:00:57,610 --> 01:01:00,482
Here's my... here's my
daughter's phone number.
757
01:01:00,526 --> 01:01:03,616
- John.
- No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no.
758
01:01:03,660 --> 01:01:07,011
I... I just want you to...
I want you to call her...
759
01:01:08,795 --> 01:01:11,232
...and tell her
that her father loves her.
760
01:01:12,930 --> 01:01:15,454
And that... I tried.
761
01:01:18,239 --> 01:01:19,806
I really tried, okay?
762
01:01:24,724 --> 01:01:26,247
- I'll do that.
763
01:01:28,249 --> 01:01:30,643
You're such a fucking cowboy.
764
01:01:51,925 --> 01:01:55,712
: Yeah...
that's Miles Davis's new roommate.
765
01:02:05,286 --> 01:02:06,635
Shit.
766
01:02:06,679 --> 01:02:08,202
- Ten?
767
01:02:09,421 --> 01:02:11,902
- That is one sad
motherfucking addiction.
768
01:02:11,945 --> 01:02:14,513
You got no idea, buddy.
769
01:02:14,556 --> 01:02:16,820
Have a seat, kid.
I want you to meet somebody.
770
01:02:16,863 --> 01:02:18,560
This is Matty.
771
01:02:19,300 --> 01:02:22,347
- Oh, wait, I know you.
Yeah, you're the Featherweight Champ.
772
01:02:22,390 --> 01:02:25,480
- More like the chunky-weight
champ now, but same guy.
773
01:02:25,524 --> 01:02:27,787
- Fuck you, Lee.
The chunky-weight champ
774
01:02:27,831 --> 01:02:29,658
can still knock a featherweight
the fuck out.
775
01:02:29,702 --> 01:02:31,922
- I don't know, buddy.
I think those days are over.
776
01:02:31,965 --> 01:02:35,142
- Nah.
- Sure made me a lot of money, though.
777
01:02:35,186 --> 01:02:37,666
- Damn right.
- Yeah. How are the kids?
778
01:02:37,710 --> 01:02:40,017
- Yeah, well, they don't talk
to me no more.
779
01:02:40,060 --> 01:02:43,585
- Well, you're here now.
That's all that matters, y'know.
780
01:02:45,457 --> 01:02:47,851
- So is your name
really Miles Davis?
781
01:02:47,894 --> 01:02:50,679
- Yes, it is.
It's on my birth certificate.
782
01:02:50,723 --> 01:02:54,205
And I don't play the trumpet.
I play the clarinet.
783
01:02:54,248 --> 01:02:56,685
- Yeah, shame you can't play
as good, though, huh?
784
01:02:56,729 --> 01:02:59,863
- Well, that's why I'm a judge, not a musician.
- You're a judge?
785
01:02:59,906 --> 01:03:02,604
They put me in here with a fucking judge?
786
01:03:02,648 --> 01:03:05,085
- Been to prison, or something?
787
01:03:05,129 --> 01:03:08,872
- I skipped bail on a bunch of charges,
but I'm not going to prison.
788
01:03:08,915 --> 01:03:10,917
- Got warrants on you, then.
789
01:03:12,136 --> 01:03:13,877
- Okay, Your Honour.
790
01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:15,704
I, uh...
791
01:03:15,748 --> 01:03:19,404
flipped a car, hit a cop,
kicked the shit outta some kid,
792
01:03:19,447 --> 01:03:21,928
set fire to my neighbour's
new Jag, I...
793
01:03:24,583 --> 01:03:26,846
...sold drugs, theft.
You know, dumb shit.
794
01:03:26,890 --> 01:03:29,153
- You won't get an argument
from me.
795
01:03:30,371 --> 01:03:33,200
- I'm sorry, Your Honour,
can I be, uh, dismissed?
796
01:03:33,244 --> 01:03:34,723
- Where are you going?
797
01:03:35,768 --> 01:03:37,596
- I think I might plead
the fifth.
798
01:03:40,599 --> 01:03:41,948
- You're gonna get in trouble.
799
01:03:44,559 --> 01:03:46,953
� Candy says...
800
01:03:49,608 --> 01:03:53,960
♪ I've come to hate my body
801
01:03:55,875 --> 01:03:59,836
♪ And all that it requires
802
01:03:59,879 --> 01:04:02,273
♪ In this world...
803
01:04:07,887 --> 01:04:10,803
♪ Candy says...
804
01:04:14,024 --> 01:04:18,419
♪ I'd like to know completely
805
01:04:20,117 --> 01:04:24,164
♪ What others so discretely
806
01:04:24,208 --> 01:04:26,993
♪ Talk about
807
01:04:32,477 --> 01:04:36,524
♪ I'm gonna watch
the bluebirds ♪
808
01:04:36,568 --> 01:04:38,309
♪ Fly...
809
01:04:40,006 --> 01:04:42,443
♪ Over my shoulder
810
01:04:44,402 --> 01:04:46,926
♪ I'm gonna watch them
811
01:04:46,970 --> 01:04:48,928
♪ Pass me by
812
01:04:51,322 --> 01:04:54,412
♪ If I could walk away
from me... ♪♪
813
01:04:54,455 --> 01:04:56,588
- What?
- I... I can't.
814
01:04:58,068 --> 01:05:00,679
You don't need to do that
with me.
815
01:05:02,333 --> 01:05:04,030
- But what if I want to?
816
01:05:10,689 --> 01:05:12,865
- I can't.
I can't go any further.
817
01:05:17,609 --> 01:05:19,567
- You think I'm dirty.
818
01:05:19,611 --> 01:05:21,613
- No. No, I don't.
819
01:05:26,052 --> 01:05:28,054
I... I've never done this.
820
01:05:31,797 --> 01:05:33,190
Sober, that is.
821
01:05:38,717 --> 01:05:40,632
- Fuck. Neither have I.
822
01:05:57,736 --> 01:06:00,521
- Trust is the motherfucker
of life.
823
01:06:01,392 --> 01:06:03,872
Trust... in ourselves,
824
01:06:03,916 --> 01:06:06,136
in our... our worthiness,
825
01:06:06,179 --> 01:06:09,661
our family, our loved ones,
let alone some...
826
01:06:09,704 --> 01:06:11,793
foreign process and program
827
01:06:11,837 --> 01:06:16,363
that's insanely different from your current brain's paradigm, right?
828
01:06:18,322 --> 01:06:20,759
Not everybody gets it
the first time.
829
01:06:20,802 --> 01:06:22,979
I know I didn't. Mm-mm.
830
01:06:23,936 --> 01:06:25,285
No.
831
01:06:26,417 --> 01:06:28,114
But the steps work.
832
01:06:29,463 --> 01:06:30,769
They do.
833
01:06:31,944 --> 01:06:33,641
Recovery is a process.
834
01:06:33,685 --> 01:06:36,035
- Well, what about Roy?
He did the steps, right?
835
01:06:36,079 --> 01:06:39,604
He's like a model student of the fucking year,
and then he just--
836
01:06:39,647 --> 01:06:41,736
- Roy is diagnosed bipolar,
837
01:06:41,780 --> 01:06:44,087
and he's been moved
to another unit.
838
01:06:44,130 --> 01:06:46,654
- Yeah, that's different.
- Look, I was like you.
839
01:06:46,698 --> 01:06:49,527
I was one of those guys
that was, like:
840
01:06:49,570 --> 01:06:51,442
"Look at these AA motherfuckers.
841
01:06:51,485 --> 01:06:55,098
They're all grateful for everything."
I wanted to strangle 'em.
842
01:06:55,141 --> 01:06:58,057
- Yeah!
- I was like that the first time, too.
843
01:06:58,101 --> 01:07:00,233
- Yeah, it's mutual.
844
01:07:00,277 --> 01:07:02,453
But I trusted in the process.
845
01:07:04,150 --> 01:07:07,675
I worked the steps.
Alcoholism is a disease.
846
01:07:07,719 --> 01:07:10,983
- No. Alzheimer's is a disease.
Cancer... is a disease.
847
01:07:11,027 --> 01:07:13,551
And you can't control that,
can you?
848
01:07:13,594 --> 01:07:18,077
You don't say, "Hey,
give me a shitload of Parkinson's and a shot of cancer," do you?
849
01:07:18,121 --> 01:07:20,340
- But you lost control.
- I'm talking about that. Exactly.
850
01:07:20,384 --> 01:07:22,995
I choose to fucking drink.
I chose to take crack.
851
01:07:23,039 --> 01:07:27,130
You can't help it if you got a god-awful
fucking disease you don't want anymore.
852
01:07:27,173 --> 01:07:30,568
Y'know, and you wanna get rid of it.
You see what I'm saying?
853
01:07:30,611 --> 01:07:33,614
- I'll give you that, yeah.
- It's a decision. It's a choice.
854
01:07:33,658 --> 01:07:35,964
Do I or don't I, y'know?
855
01:07:36,008 --> 01:07:40,839
Am I gonna be a dumb-shit addict and continue to waste my life,
856
01:07:40,882 --> 01:07:43,276
or am I gonna, uh, be, uh...
857
01:07:43,320 --> 01:07:44,799
- Sober?
- Right, sober, y'know?
858
01:07:44,843 --> 01:07:47,454
- Well, let me ask you this,
James.
859
01:07:49,413 --> 01:07:51,328
All the damage you've done.
860
01:07:52,851 --> 01:07:54,766
All the harm you've caused.
861
01:07:55,636 --> 01:07:57,160
Did you choose that?
862
01:07:57,203 --> 01:07:58,639
- No.
863
01:08:00,424 --> 01:08:03,862
- So it wasn't your childhood ambition to...
destroy your family?
864
01:08:05,124 --> 01:08:07,039
Ruin your career?
- Of course not.
865
01:08:09,346 --> 01:08:11,783
- It happened
'cause you're an addict, right?
866
01:08:13,437 --> 01:08:15,003
- Yeah.
867
01:08:15,047 --> 01:08:16,614
- Yeah.
868
01:08:16,657 --> 01:08:18,398
You had no choice.
869
01:08:18,442 --> 01:08:22,228
It is a disease
you did not choose to have.
870
01:08:23,664 --> 01:08:27,015
Because why would anybody
in their right mind...
871
01:08:27,059 --> 01:08:29,235
choose all that destruction?
872
01:08:35,328 --> 01:08:38,375
- If we are free from desire,
we can realize mystery.
873
01:08:40,072 --> 01:08:42,335
Darkness within darkness
874
01:08:42,379 --> 01:08:44,685
is the key
to all understanding.
875
01:08:47,471 --> 01:08:48,646
- James!
876
01:08:49,690 --> 01:08:51,736
James!
- What?
877
01:08:51,779 --> 01:08:53,172
- There's a young lady
at the window.
878
01:08:53,216 --> 01:08:55,392
- Jesus Christ.
879
01:08:57,829 --> 01:08:59,265
What are you doing?
880
01:08:59,309 --> 01:09:00,658
What's going on?
881
01:09:00,701 --> 01:09:03,226
- What the fuck?!
- You're soaking wet.
882
01:09:03,269 --> 01:09:04,705
- Of course I'm soaking wet.
883
01:09:04,749 --> 01:09:06,925
I was out in the rain
for fucking hours.
884
01:09:06,968 --> 01:09:09,014
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Are you fucking crazy?
885
01:09:09,057 --> 01:09:10,624
- I'm not fuckin' crazy!
886
01:09:10,668 --> 01:09:13,888
I was the one waiting out
in the fucking rain for you!
887
01:09:13,932 --> 01:09:15,760
- Why? What the fuck for?
888
01:09:15,803 --> 01:09:18,589
- Because you had five plates
on your tray at lunch, asshole.
889
01:09:18,632 --> 01:09:20,156
Five plates is five o'clock,
remember?
890
01:09:20,199 --> 01:09:22,245
- I didn't realize
we were playing that game.
891
01:09:22,288 --> 01:09:23,768
- Bullshit.
- Why would I lie to you?
892
01:09:23,811 --> 01:09:25,248
- Why have five plates
on your tray?
893
01:09:25,291 --> 01:09:27,424
- Because I was fucking hungry.
894
01:09:28,425 --> 01:09:31,732
Why would you stand outside in the rain when you can sit in the cabin?
895
01:09:33,952 --> 01:09:36,563
- So you're just a greedy,
fat fucker, then?
896
01:09:36,607 --> 01:09:39,523
I'm a little indecisive, y'know?
They got cake.
897
01:09:39,566 --> 01:09:42,308
- She better get outta here
before we all get in some shit.
898
01:09:42,352 --> 01:09:44,136
- He's the fucking judge.
899
01:09:46,094 --> 01:09:49,185
- Sorry about your table.
- Jesus Christ. Don't fuckin' worry about it.
900
01:09:50,273 --> 01:09:52,710
Alright, take it easy.
901
01:09:52,753 --> 01:09:55,452
- I'm sorry. I'll see you later.
902
01:09:56,757 --> 01:09:58,150
- Watch yourself.
903
01:10:00,326 --> 01:10:02,676
- You're bringing more trouble
in here, James.
904
01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:06,419
Lincoln told you about that.
- Oh, stop judging. Play me a tune, Miles Davis.
905
01:10:06,463 --> 01:10:08,116
Let me tell you something.
906
01:10:08,160 --> 01:10:10,293
It's my second time
in this place.
907
01:10:10,336 --> 01:10:14,384
I fucked up my marriage, almost ruined my career,
so I know about fucking up.
908
01:10:17,256 --> 01:10:18,605
- Okay.
909
01:10:19,867 --> 01:10:22,609
- Get it right the first time,
James.
910
01:10:27,179 --> 01:10:29,834
James was born
when I was three-and-a-half.
911
01:10:29,877 --> 01:10:33,141
I remember the day you came
home from the hospital.
912
01:10:35,187 --> 01:10:38,321
All he did was just scream
and scream and scream--
913
01:10:38,364 --> 01:10:40,888
- Wait, I'm sorry.
Why you telling her this shit?
914
01:10:40,932 --> 01:10:43,413
- Because she asked.
'Cause I thought it would help.
915
01:10:43,456 --> 01:10:47,721
- James, the first two years are the most
important in the development of a child.
916
01:10:47,765 --> 01:10:50,637
- I have no memory of that.
- Well, I do.
917
01:10:50,681 --> 01:10:52,683
You had this rage in you
forever.
918
01:10:52,726 --> 01:10:55,468
- No, I had fucking ear infections and it was fucking painful.
919
01:10:55,512 --> 01:10:57,557
And they clearly did fuck all
about it.
920
01:10:57,601 --> 01:10:59,603
- Who? Mom and Dad?
- Yeah, Mom and Dad.
921
01:10:59,646 --> 01:11:01,300
- They did everything
they could.
922
01:11:01,344 --> 01:11:05,173
- Bob, I'm 30 % deaf
in both my fucking ears, okay?
923
01:11:05,217 --> 01:11:07,132
I think I know.
924
01:11:07,175 --> 01:11:09,395
Which is fine,
because sometimes I like to drown out this shit.
925
01:11:09,439 --> 01:11:11,963
- Do you hear
what you're saying?
926
01:11:12,006 --> 01:11:15,009
Perhaps that's the core
to this fury,
927
01:11:15,053 --> 01:11:17,098
and to your addiction.
928
01:11:17,142 --> 01:11:19,753
- Are you shitting me?
I snort coke and steal cars and smash up shit
929
01:11:19,797 --> 01:11:21,973
because I had issues
with my ears as a baby?
930
01:11:22,016 --> 01:11:23,540
- It's--
- James, she's trying to help you.
931
01:11:23,583 --> 01:11:25,498
- Yeah, I know
what she's trying to do.
932
01:11:25,542 --> 01:11:28,284
What are you doing here,
with all your fucking theories and shit?
933
01:11:28,327 --> 01:11:31,330
Like there's gotta be a reason
to why I'm such a fuck-up?
934
01:11:31,374 --> 01:11:35,073
Why don't you just go back to Karen and make babies or some shit?
I dunno.
935
01:11:37,554 --> 01:11:39,251
- Karen and I are divorced.
936
01:11:40,992 --> 01:11:42,950
For over two years.
937
01:11:42,994 --> 01:11:44,691
- What?
- We're divorced!
938
01:11:44,735 --> 01:11:47,825
I called you... and called you
and called you,
939
01:11:47,868 --> 01:11:51,307
because for once in my life,
I needed a brother.
940
01:11:54,440 --> 01:11:56,877
James, you're so fucking
self-involved.
941
01:12:00,446 --> 01:12:03,754
- I say this with love,
but I need to do this on my own, Bob.
942
01:12:05,669 --> 01:12:07,279
- James. James.
943
01:12:09,455 --> 01:12:11,065
I know you're scared,
944
01:12:11,109 --> 01:12:13,894
but you gotta deal
with this shit at some point.
945
01:12:17,202 --> 01:12:18,769
- Well, I'm trying.
946
01:12:25,906 --> 01:12:27,734
There is no good or evil.
947
01:12:27,778 --> 01:12:30,041
No sinner or saint.
948
01:12:30,084 --> 01:12:32,696
There simply is what is,
and that is it.
949
01:12:33,305 --> 01:12:35,002
Just let it be.
950
01:12:35,046 --> 01:12:36,526
Just be.
951
01:12:36,569 --> 01:12:38,702
- What... is that?
952
01:12:39,485 --> 01:12:41,879
- Nothing.
- I doubt that.
953
01:12:41,922 --> 01:12:44,534
I see you carrying it around with you everywhere.
You're reading it all the time.
954
01:12:44,577 --> 01:12:47,188
- Oh, it's just a lot of nonsense.
You know, fortune-cookie shit.
955
01:12:47,232 --> 01:12:49,147
- My man,
we're all the same in here.
956
01:12:49,190 --> 01:12:52,498
Judge, criminal, bourbon-drinker, crackhead,
doesn't matter.
957
01:12:53,499 --> 01:12:57,024
We're all we've got and we've got to look out for one another.
958
01:12:57,068 --> 01:12:59,287
I learned that the hard way
and now...
959
01:13:00,724 --> 01:13:02,421
...I'm struggling.
960
01:13:06,338 --> 01:13:08,732
- Well, look, um...
you can read it if you want.
961
01:13:08,775 --> 01:13:11,212
Uh, take it
with a pinch of salt and, uh...
962
01:13:11,256 --> 01:13:14,477
I'd take that over the Big Book
any fucking day of the week.
963
01:13:14,520 --> 01:13:17,567
- Why is that?
You never even read the Big Book.
964
01:13:17,610 --> 01:13:20,657
- That don't weigh 400 pounds
and there's not a chapter
965
01:13:20,700 --> 01:13:24,095
that says "Indian physician,
heal thyself," or some shit, so...
966
01:13:24,138 --> 01:13:27,185
But, like, if you want some real advice,
I'd take a walk with Leonard.
967
01:13:28,578 --> 01:13:30,275
- I'll do that.
968
01:13:30,318 --> 01:13:31,972
Thanks. Oh.
969
01:13:32,973 --> 01:13:34,497
- What, you gonna pay me?
970
01:13:34,540 --> 01:13:37,064
- No. A note for you, though.
971
01:13:46,117 --> 01:13:47,684
- How are we today, huh?
972
01:13:51,992 --> 01:13:53,994
Where you headed?
973
01:13:54,038 --> 01:13:56,910
- Uh, outside for a walk.
- James, it's group. You can't just skip it--
974
01:13:56,954 --> 01:14:01,088
- Yeah, I know it's group. I just, y'know, I, uh,
don't feel like sharing today.
975
01:14:01,132 --> 01:14:04,352
- Why is that?
- Why? Why is it... your fucking business, man?
976
01:14:04,396 --> 01:14:06,311
- Because I'm the supervisor
of this unit.
977
01:14:06,354 --> 01:14:08,008
- Then fucking supervise it!
Jesus!
978
01:14:12,404 --> 01:14:14,885
- Hey, Miles, would you start
with a share, please?
979
01:14:14,928 --> 01:14:19,106
Lilly? Hey, hey. C'mere.
980
01:14:22,022 --> 01:14:23,850
What's wrong? What's happened?
981
01:14:23,894 --> 01:14:26,374
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What's happened?
982
01:14:26,418 --> 01:14:28,028
- My grandma's sick.
983
01:14:29,334 --> 01:14:31,858
- Oh, Lilly, I'm so sorry.
984
01:14:31,902 --> 01:14:33,817
- She's all I've got, James.
985
01:14:35,906 --> 01:14:37,429
- What do you wanna do?
986
01:14:38,822 --> 01:14:42,390
- I wanna go to her.
I wanna go to her right now,
987
01:14:42,434 --> 01:14:44,784
but I can't,
because I don't trust myself.
988
01:14:44,828 --> 01:14:49,006
- Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, I'll go with you. Let's go.
989
01:14:49,049 --> 01:14:51,487
You wanna go, I'll go.
- We can't. We can't.
990
01:14:51,530 --> 01:14:54,490
I can't. We... I have to stay.
991
01:14:56,622 --> 01:14:58,581
I have to stay.
She wants me to stay.
992
01:14:58,624 --> 01:15:02,019
And I'm gonna beat it, James.
I'm gonna fucking beat it for her.
993
01:15:02,062 --> 01:15:03,934
- I know. I know.
994
01:15:07,633 --> 01:15:11,071
I'll stay here, okay?
I wanna be here with you. Okay?
995
01:15:12,464 --> 01:15:14,161
- Okay.
- Fuck. - Fuck!
996
01:15:14,205 --> 01:15:16,120
- You've officially been caught
breaking the rules.
997
01:15:16,163 --> 01:15:17,817
You know there's consequences.
Let's go.
998
01:15:17,861 --> 01:15:20,603
- Fuck your rules, man.
- Separate and come with me.
999
01:15:20,646 --> 01:15:22,300
- Hey--
- Don't fucking touch me!
1000
01:15:22,866 --> 01:15:26,391
- We can do this
one of two ways. James?
1001
01:15:26,434 --> 01:15:27,958
Follow me, please.
1002
01:15:28,393 --> 01:15:29,481
Come on.
1003
01:15:29,525 --> 01:15:31,744
- I'm not gonna fucking let go.
1004
01:15:31,788 --> 01:15:33,267
- Fine.
1005
01:15:34,878 --> 01:15:36,444
Please wait inside.
1006
01:15:36,488 --> 01:15:38,751
- Mm-mm.
- I'll give you one moment.
1007
01:15:38,795 --> 01:15:40,405
- Mm-mm.
1008
01:15:46,672 --> 01:15:48,631
- Hold on.
1009
01:15:48,674 --> 01:15:50,328
Just hold on.
1010
01:15:56,813 --> 01:15:58,118
- Let's go.
1011
01:16:02,340 --> 01:16:03,559
- Fuck.
1012
01:16:04,734 --> 01:16:06,300
Fuck!
1013
01:16:06,344 --> 01:16:07,998
You violated the rules.
1014
01:16:09,347 --> 01:16:12,916
You sacrificed the integrity of this facility,
and in doing so,
1015
01:16:12,959 --> 01:16:15,266
you put your fellow patients
at risk.
1016
01:16:18,530 --> 01:16:20,706
And we're gonna give you
one more chance.
1017
01:16:23,535 --> 01:16:25,798
But hear me.
1018
01:16:25,842 --> 01:16:28,888
One more misstep, any misstep,
1019
01:16:28,932 --> 01:16:31,804
and you'll be sent home...
permanently.
1020
01:16:31,848 --> 01:16:33,545
Understand?
1021
01:16:36,287 --> 01:16:37,636
- You decided this?
1022
01:16:40,378 --> 01:16:42,032
- It doesn't matter who decided.
1023
01:16:44,730 --> 01:16:46,384
Go get some sleep.
1024
01:16:50,170 --> 01:16:51,563
- Hey, uh...
1025
01:16:52,869 --> 01:16:54,871
What about Lilly? Is she, uh...
1026
01:16:55,741 --> 01:16:57,134
Is she alright?
1027
01:17:01,181 --> 01:17:04,358
- We told Lilly she wasn't...
allowed to see you anymore.
1028
01:17:05,185 --> 01:17:07,144
So she left.
1029
01:17:07,187 --> 01:17:09,189
- She left? What do you mean,
she left? Why didn't you stop her?
1030
01:17:09,233 --> 01:17:11,844
- Patients are free to go when they want.
You know that.
1031
01:17:11,888 --> 01:17:13,672
- Yeah, but...
Fuck, I know where she is.
1032
01:17:13,716 --> 01:17:15,892
I know where she's going.
You can go get her.
1033
01:17:15,935 --> 01:17:17,676
Lincoln, you can go get her
right now.
1034
01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:20,200
- James, we have the structure
we have here for a reason.
1035
01:17:21,201 --> 01:17:23,247
Try to put it behind you and...
1036
01:17:23,900 --> 01:17:26,119
...look at it
as a lesson learned.
1037
01:17:28,078 --> 01:17:31,951
- She's a person...
not a lesson, you asshole.
1038
01:17:33,213 --> 01:17:36,652
And if that's how it is here,
I don't even wanna be in this fucking place.
1039
01:18:18,955 --> 01:18:22,436
- What the hell are you doing?
- You forgot your jacket.
1040
01:18:22,480 --> 01:18:24,830
- Get in the car, James.
- No. I'm not going back.
1041
01:18:24,874 --> 01:18:28,225
- Do you wanna find her or not?
Get in the goddamn van. Come on.
1042
01:18:34,100 --> 01:18:35,798
- Let's bring her home, kid.
1043
01:18:45,068 --> 01:18:46,417
- Fuck.
1044
01:18:56,079 --> 01:18:58,211
Hey! When's the bus leave
for Chicago?
1045
01:18:58,255 --> 01:19:00,431
- It doesn't leave
for another two hours.
1046
01:19:21,539 --> 01:19:22,888
- What's up?
1047
01:19:28,720 --> 01:19:30,330
- I'm looking for someone.
1048
01:19:34,900 --> 01:19:36,423
Fuck!
1049
01:19:37,903 --> 01:19:40,776
- What the hell is he doing?
Go, go, go, go, go!
1050
01:19:53,571 --> 01:19:55,573
Goddammit.
1051
01:20:40,487 --> 01:20:43,534
- Hurry up, you little whore.
Just do it, bitch! Come on.
1052
01:20:43,577 --> 01:20:45,971
- Lilly?
- What the fuck?
1053
01:20:46,015 --> 01:20:50,497
- Hey, you motherfucker! Don't you fucking touch her,
you piece of shit! Fat fucker!
1054
01:20:51,890 --> 01:20:53,761
- No, no, no, no!
- Drop that shit!
1055
01:20:53,805 --> 01:20:56,852
- Let go of me!
- Drop that shit! - Let go of me!
1056
01:20:56,895 --> 01:20:59,724
Get the fuck off me!
Get the fuck away from me!
1057
01:20:59,767 --> 01:21:02,248
Get the fuck away from me!
1058
01:21:02,292 --> 01:21:06,296
- Lilly, leave that shit behind.
- Leave me the fuck alone. I wasn't gonna fucking do it.
1059
01:21:06,339 --> 01:21:08,515
- We're going home, Lilly.
- Don't fucking look at me!
1060
01:21:08,559 --> 01:21:10,822
- Drop that fucking shit now
and let's go!
1061
01:21:10,866 --> 01:21:13,781
- Leave me the fuck alone.
- Leave that shit!
1062
01:21:13,825 --> 01:21:17,437
- Come on. Come on. It's okay.
We're gonna quit that shit.
1063
01:21:17,481 --> 01:21:20,788
- I wasn't gonna do it.
I wasn't gonna do it.
1064
01:21:20,832 --> 01:21:23,835
I wasn't gonna do it.
Don't do this. No...
1065
01:21:25,576 --> 01:21:28,057
Don't make me do this.
1066
01:21:28,100 --> 01:21:29,885
No.
1067
01:22:07,966 --> 01:22:09,185
- Here.
1068
01:22:10,969 --> 01:22:13,058
It's better you stay here.
I'll take her.
1069
01:22:22,067 --> 01:22:24,330
- I want James.
- It's okay.
1070
01:22:24,896 --> 01:22:26,289
It's okay.
1071
01:24:24,189 --> 01:24:25,756
- I'm awake.
1072
01:24:29,499 --> 01:24:31,544
- I just wanna say thank you.
1073
01:24:31,588 --> 01:24:33,807
- Yeah?
1074
01:24:33,851 --> 01:24:35,940
For what?
1075
01:24:35,983 --> 01:24:39,117
For last night, you dumbass.
What would you think?
1076
01:24:40,858 --> 01:24:43,861
- A lot of people talk shit
in here.
1077
01:24:43,904 --> 01:24:46,472
I wouldn't have done what you did,
you fucking madman.
1078
01:24:54,350 --> 01:24:56,047
Tell me the truth.
1079
01:24:56,439 --> 01:24:58,441
Were you tempted by the dope?
1080
01:25:09,365 --> 01:25:12,107
- Yeah, but then I looked
at Lilly and I knew.
1081
01:25:14,674 --> 01:25:17,242
I knew she meant more to me
than crack.
1082
01:25:18,896 --> 01:25:20,463
- You see there?
1083
01:25:20,506 --> 01:25:22,987
But what about
when she's not around?
1084
01:25:23,030 --> 01:25:25,903
'Cause she's not always
gonna be around, y'know.
1085
01:25:26,556 --> 01:25:28,079
- Yeah, I know.
1086
01:25:30,690 --> 01:25:34,085
- Well... you worked
your primary purpose.
1087
01:25:34,564 --> 01:25:36,261
- Oh, yeah? How's that?
1088
01:25:37,915 --> 01:25:40,091
- To stay clean
and help another addict.
1089
01:25:41,832 --> 01:25:44,095
You did it. Congratulations.
1090
01:25:46,271 --> 01:25:48,055
That's the twelfth step.
1091
01:25:48,099 --> 01:25:49,796
- Yeah, well...
1092
01:25:49,840 --> 01:25:52,930
the twelfth step can...
fuck its asshole.
1093
01:25:55,498 --> 01:25:57,369
You did it anyway.
1094
01:26:01,591 --> 01:26:04,333
: I read that the path forward is backwards.
1095
01:26:04,376 --> 01:26:06,857
That the path in the light
is dark.
1096
01:26:06,900 --> 01:26:09,686
And, hell, does it get dark
in here sometimes.
1097
01:26:14,299 --> 01:26:16,214
But then I only gotta look
at Leonard
1098
01:26:16,258 --> 01:26:19,304
and he makes it seem so simple
somehow.
1099
01:26:20,610 --> 01:26:23,787
The old man can get a little theatrical now and again, but...
1100
01:26:23,830 --> 01:26:25,963
he cares about the right stuff.
1101
01:26:26,659 --> 01:26:28,922
He makes it look easy.
1102
01:26:28,966 --> 01:26:30,924
- I just want you to know
that...
1103
01:26:31,621 --> 01:26:33,927
...this graduation
means something to me.
1104
01:26:33,971 --> 01:26:37,496
And I know it does
to you guys too.
1105
01:26:37,540 --> 01:26:39,672
My crazy fucking family.
1106
01:26:42,022 --> 01:26:45,461
- Leo and I threw this big part where we snuck in
the Heavyweight Title fight.
1107
01:26:47,289 --> 01:26:49,378
Of course the underdog
gets his ass whipped,
1108
01:26:49,421 --> 01:26:52,337
but...
there was a moment where,
1109
01:26:52,381 --> 01:26:54,121
for a second, it was like...
1110
01:26:54,165 --> 01:26:56,515
we forgot
how fucked up we all are.
1111
01:26:56,559 --> 01:26:59,170
Guys? Let's eat!
1112
01:27:03,174 --> 01:27:05,307
- It made me think.
1113
01:27:05,350 --> 01:27:08,527
Heck, I don't know what I'm gonna do when I leave here,
1114
01:27:08,571 --> 01:27:10,094
but...
1115
01:27:11,443 --> 01:27:14,272
...maybe there can be more days like that.
1116
01:27:16,187 --> 01:27:18,842
: Do you think
you need help to do that?
1117
01:27:25,109 --> 01:27:27,677
Then do your personal
inventory, James.
1118
01:27:27,720 --> 01:27:30,332
That's...
that's what it's there for.
1119
01:27:30,375 --> 01:27:33,726
You get to discover the truth.
You get to own it.
1120
01:27:33,770 --> 01:27:37,774
You write it down, you acknowledge it,
and then you let it go.
1121
01:27:37,817 --> 01:27:40,211
Uncover, discover, discard..
1122
01:27:40,255 --> 01:27:41,865
- Discard.
- Yes.
1123
01:27:42,692 --> 01:27:44,955
You get to... get rid of it.
1124
01:27:45,390 --> 01:27:47,784
You know, you acknowledge it.
1125
01:27:47,827 --> 01:27:51,266
Aren't you sick of carrying
all this shit around? The shame?
1126
01:27:51,309 --> 01:27:52,963
You don't need it.
1127
01:27:54,965 --> 01:27:56,575
- No, I don't.
1128
01:27:56,619 --> 01:27:59,056
- It's not easy.
1129
01:27:59,099 --> 01:28:01,885
But you do your step four,
you move into step five,
1130
01:28:01,928 --> 01:28:03,974
you work it with Father David,
and then--
1131
01:28:04,017 --> 01:28:05,671
- With Father David?
1132
01:28:05,715 --> 01:28:08,283
Why's it gotta be
a fucking priest?
1133
01:28:08,326 --> 01:28:10,807
- Priests founded this facility.
- Of course they did.
1134
01:28:10,850 --> 01:28:13,679
When does Lilly get out
of the medical unit?
1135
01:28:13,723 --> 01:28:15,551
- I'm not discussing patients.
- Joanne.
1136
01:28:15,594 --> 01:28:17,248
Come on.
1137
01:28:19,642 --> 01:28:21,078
Please?
1138
01:28:45,929 --> 01:28:47,409
: Can I go?
1139
01:28:47,452 --> 01:28:49,062
Just a minute?
1140
01:29:00,900 --> 01:29:02,206
Hi.
1141
01:29:05,601 --> 01:29:08,081
I gotta start again.
1142
01:29:08,125 --> 01:29:09,387
- I know.
1143
01:29:10,780 --> 01:29:13,348
- How do you do it?
How do you kick this shit?
1144
01:29:15,480 --> 01:29:18,353
- I dunno.
You just do it, I guess.
1145
01:29:20,137 --> 01:29:22,487
One day at a time.
1146
01:29:26,926 --> 01:29:29,494
I like this jacket.
1147
01:29:31,322 --> 01:29:33,193
It smells...
1148
01:29:33,237 --> 01:29:35,326
- Pretty bad.
- Yeah.
1149
01:29:36,327 --> 01:29:38,329
Yeah, but I like it.
1150
01:29:46,729 --> 01:29:48,644
Why'd you come get me?
1151
01:29:53,344 --> 01:29:55,041
- Had to.
1152
01:29:55,085 --> 01:29:56,695
- No, you didn't.
1153
01:29:56,739 --> 01:29:58,349
- Yeah, I did.
1154
01:29:59,524 --> 01:30:01,961
- No.
- I dunno, I guess, uh...
1155
01:30:03,963 --> 01:30:05,356
- Why?
1156
01:30:07,837 --> 01:30:09,273
- Because...
1157
01:30:12,102 --> 01:30:14,844
You know what?
Let's get the bus together next time.
1158
01:30:17,020 --> 01:30:18,543
- You wanna go to Chicago?
1159
01:30:19,979 --> 01:30:21,851
- Yeah. Sure. Why not?
1160
01:30:22,852 --> 01:30:24,419
I mean, if you're going.
1161
01:30:28,466 --> 01:30:29,772
- Okay.
1162
01:30:32,470 --> 01:30:34,124
When do we go?
1163
01:30:38,389 --> 01:30:39,782
- Soon.
1164
01:30:45,222 --> 01:30:46,832
- Okay.
1165
01:30:49,879 --> 01:30:51,446
I love you.
1166
01:30:56,581 --> 01:30:58,235
- Then hold on.
1167
01:31:05,416 --> 01:31:06,722
- Okay.
1168
01:31:10,900 --> 01:31:12,249
Okay.
1169
01:31:15,252 --> 01:31:16,471
Okay.
1170
01:31:52,768 --> 01:31:55,640
- Ran over a nursery-school
teacher with a Big Wheel.
1171
01:31:56,075 --> 01:31:58,034
I did it on purpose.
1172
01:31:58,077 --> 01:31:59,731
I was four.
1173
01:31:59,775 --> 01:32:02,908
Hit a boy with a bag
full of books, broke his nose.
1174
01:32:02,952 --> 01:32:06,042
His name was Fred. I was six.
1175
01:32:06,085 --> 01:32:09,611
Stole a pack of menthol cigarettes from my friend Clay's mother.
1176
01:32:09,654 --> 01:32:13,049
Smoked them and threw up.
Stole another pack, threw up.
1177
01:32:13,092 --> 01:32:16,095
Stole another pack.
I was eight.
1178
01:32:16,574 --> 01:32:19,055
Started to lose control at 10.
1179
01:32:19,098 --> 01:32:22,537
Stole liquor from my parents more times than I can remember.
1180
01:32:22,580 --> 01:32:25,540
I used to steal sips of beer
at football games,
1181
01:32:25,583 --> 01:32:28,543
drank leftover wine at dinner parties,
that kind of thing.
1182
01:32:29,239 --> 01:32:31,502
I don't know why I did it,
I just did.
1183
01:32:31,546 --> 01:32:34,679
At 12... my life was blurred.
1184
01:32:34,723 --> 01:32:37,552
I stole a bag of pot
from my friend Evan's dad.
1185
01:32:37,595 --> 01:32:39,554
Stole a pipe from Evan's dad.
1186
01:32:39,597 --> 01:32:42,339
Stole a bottle of pills
from Evan's dad.
1187
01:32:42,382 --> 01:32:45,211
I smoked the pot in the pipe
and took all the pills.
1188
01:32:45,255 --> 01:32:47,344
It made me vomit.
1189
01:32:47,387 --> 01:32:49,912
And I did it again the next time I was at Evan's house.
1190
01:32:50,608 --> 01:32:52,871
At 14, I sold drugs to kids.
1191
01:32:52,915 --> 01:32:55,091
Most of the time,
I ripped 'em off.
1192
01:32:55,134 --> 01:32:57,876
Took too much of their money,
or sold them oregano.
1193
01:32:57,920 --> 01:33:01,227
They were my age,
but they were still kids.
1194
01:33:01,271 --> 01:33:05,144
At 15, I started using harder stuff: coke, acid,
crystal meth.
1195
01:33:05,710 --> 01:33:07,407
I liked all of them.
1196
01:33:07,451 --> 01:33:09,758
Sixteen, 17 were more
of the same.
1197
01:33:09,801 --> 01:33:12,151
Eighteen, same thing, but more.
1198
01:33:12,195 --> 01:33:15,285
Nineteen, same thing,
but probably worse.
1199
01:33:15,328 --> 01:33:17,592
At 20, I started to smoke coke.
1200
01:33:17,635 --> 01:33:19,985
Twenty-one, bad year.
1201
01:33:20,029 --> 01:33:23,119
I started to smoke crack,
which I loved.
1202
01:33:23,162 --> 01:33:27,253
I smoked it as much as I could, which was basically every day.
1203
01:33:27,297 --> 01:33:30,126
I was throwing up blood,
pissing blood, shitting blood.
1204
01:33:30,169 --> 01:33:32,128
I was sick all the time.
1205
01:33:32,171 --> 01:33:34,565
I don't really know
how I managed it.
1206
01:33:35,871 --> 01:33:39,396
Twenty-two, I was so fucked up, I barely remember anything.
1207
01:33:43,574 --> 01:33:45,968
But there's still one thing
I wish I could forget.
1208
01:34:12,081 --> 01:34:13,909
Come.
1209
01:34:16,563 --> 01:34:19,218
Hello, my son.
My name's Father David.
1210
01:34:20,350 --> 01:34:22,787
- All due respect, sir,
but I'm not your son.
1211
01:34:23,919 --> 01:34:25,747
- Okay. Fair enough.
1212
01:34:25,790 --> 01:34:27,792
Have a seat... James.
1213
01:34:30,577 --> 01:34:32,449
So...
1214
01:34:33,450 --> 01:34:35,670
You're here for your fifth step.
1215
01:34:35,713 --> 01:34:39,804
- I don't believe in the steps,
but I'm here to make a confession, so...
1216
01:34:39,848 --> 01:34:41,980
- Are you Catholic?
1217
01:34:42,024 --> 01:34:43,982
- No. No.
1218
01:34:44,809 --> 01:34:47,638
- Then would you be comfortable
calling this a conversation?
1219
01:34:57,648 --> 01:35:00,607
- I'm sorry, this is...
this is a waste of time.
1220
01:35:00,651 --> 01:35:02,697
I don't know why I'm doing this.
1221
01:35:06,048 --> 01:35:09,616
- So why are you choking to death there?
That little inventory?
1222
01:35:09,660 --> 01:35:12,576
- It's a conversation...
apparently.
1223
01:35:13,969 --> 01:35:15,666
Everything on my shit list.
1224
01:35:18,277 --> 01:35:19,670
Well, it's...
1225
01:35:21,280 --> 01:35:22,847
It's not everything, but...
1226
01:35:24,980 --> 01:35:26,938
- Well...
1227
01:35:26,982 --> 01:35:28,679
give it to me.
1228
01:35:32,161 --> 01:35:33,728
- There's just...
1229
01:35:38,080 --> 01:35:39,690
I had this girl.
1230
01:35:42,693 --> 01:35:44,869
And, uh... I screwed up.
1231
01:35:46,305 --> 01:35:49,221
Fucked it all up.
I was a fucking mess.
1232
01:35:51,180 --> 01:35:53,182
So I, uh...
1233
01:35:54,792 --> 01:35:57,012
So I went to a fucking church.
1234
01:35:57,490 --> 01:35:59,144
Right?
1235
01:35:59,188 --> 01:36:02,191
And I sat there and I put
my hands together,
1236
01:36:02,234 --> 01:36:04,715
and I fucking prayed
for forgiveness and I...
1237
01:36:07,544 --> 01:36:09,328
...prayed to just be normal.
1238
01:36:10,329 --> 01:36:14,116
And, uh... this guy comes
and sits next to me.
1239
01:36:14,159 --> 01:36:16,727
He's a priest.
- This is it,
1240
01:36:16,771 --> 01:36:18,729
I'm gonna find some kind
of salvation.
1241
01:36:18,773 --> 01:36:20,513
And... and I'm ready to talk.
1242
01:36:20,557 --> 01:36:22,820
I'm ready
to just tell him everything.
1243
01:36:22,864 --> 01:36:26,171
And he puts his hand
on my knee and I'm...
1244
01:36:27,042 --> 01:36:28,739
And his hand...
1245
01:36:30,741 --> 01:36:33,135
And I fucking switch, y'know?
1246
01:36:34,223 --> 01:36:35,790
And I fucking hit him...
1247
01:36:37,966 --> 01:36:42,013
And he...
he falls to the ground and I just kick the fucking shit out of him, y'know?
1248
01:36:42,057 --> 01:36:45,321
Just kicking him
and then kicking him and...
1249
01:36:45,364 --> 01:36:46,844
I can't stop.
1250
01:36:46,888 --> 01:36:48,977
And I just leave him there--
1251
01:36:49,020 --> 01:36:52,328
- Gotta let it go.
The person you were then is not the person you are now.
1252
01:36:52,371 --> 01:36:54,112
I've watched you.
1253
01:36:54,156 --> 01:36:56,854
But you can't let it
eat you up.
1254
01:36:56,898 --> 01:36:59,204
- It just makes me feel so shit.
1255
01:36:59,248 --> 01:37:01,598
It makes me so ash...
so ashamed.
1256
01:37:04,862 --> 01:37:07,299
- You're a worthwhile
human being, James.
1257
01:37:07,343 --> 01:37:09,606
You got a lot to give people.
1258
01:37:10,955 --> 01:37:13,784
And don't you think it's about time you had a fucking life?
1259
01:37:14,785 --> 01:37:17,092
Nobody's gonna judge you
but yourself.
1260
01:37:18,267 --> 01:37:22,097
If I were you,
I'd burn that fucking bunch of papers, you know,
1261
01:37:22,140 --> 01:37:24,360
and scatter the fucking ashes
over the ocean.
1262
01:37:24,403 --> 01:37:27,145
You know what I mean?
Make peace with yourself.
1263
01:37:27,189 --> 01:37:28,930
Let it go.
1264
01:37:28,973 --> 01:37:30,627
You're on the way up.
1265
01:37:32,107 --> 01:37:33,848
Don't let it drag you back.
1266
01:37:38,896 --> 01:37:40,637
- Now why'd you give a shit?
1267
01:37:42,291 --> 01:37:45,555
- You came into my life
the same way I came into Mike's.
1268
01:37:46,948 --> 01:37:49,298
And I know what it can do
for somebody.
1269
01:37:51,126 --> 01:37:53,998
And, uh... if you don't mind...
1270
01:37:54,999 --> 01:37:58,394
...I've decided that I want you
to be my son.
1271
01:37:58,437 --> 01:38:00,962
I'm not shittin' ya.
1272
01:38:01,005 --> 01:38:03,747
- You want...
you want me to be your son?
1273
01:38:03,790 --> 01:38:06,532
- Yes, I want you to be my son.
- No, you don't.
1274
01:38:06,576 --> 01:38:08,839
- Yes, I do. I know
all your fucking problems,
1275
01:38:08,883 --> 01:38:11,146
and I'm willing
to deal with 'em.
1276
01:38:11,842 --> 01:38:13,800
Okay? You willing to do that?
1277
01:38:13,844 --> 01:38:16,281
You willing to let me
call you my son?
1278
01:38:16,325 --> 01:38:18,327
No disrespect to your family.
1279
01:38:20,938 --> 01:38:22,853
It'd mean the world to me.
1280
01:38:32,689 --> 01:38:35,910
The second you get outta here,
give me a call, will you?
1281
01:38:36,606 --> 01:38:37,868
- Sure.
1282
01:39:50,245 --> 01:39:51,681
- James!
1283
01:39:52,682 --> 01:39:53,944
James!
1284
01:42:14,911 --> 01:42:16,260
- What's up, buddy?
1285
01:42:27,706 --> 01:42:29,099
You made it.
1286
01:42:30,274 --> 01:42:31,928
How do you feel?
1287
01:42:34,713 --> 01:42:36,498
You've come a long way, man.
1288
01:42:37,934 --> 01:42:39,501
You wanna grab a bite to eat?
1289
01:42:42,112 --> 01:42:43,418
- Yeah.
1290
01:42:44,593 --> 01:42:46,595
Oh, I know a place we can go.
1291
01:42:57,127 --> 01:42:58,955
- James, this is a fucking bar.
1292
01:43:00,086 --> 01:43:01,479
- Yeah.
1293
01:43:01,523 --> 01:43:03,177
No, I know.
1294
01:43:08,138 --> 01:43:09,748
- We're not going in there.
1295
01:43:11,315 --> 01:43:12,969
- Yes, we are.
1296
01:43:22,892 --> 01:43:24,328
Go rack up.
1297
01:43:26,461 --> 01:43:28,332
Just give me a minute, okay?
1298
01:43:45,001 --> 01:43:46,350
- How you doin'?
1299
01:43:47,351 --> 01:43:50,963
- I've had quite a month...
and I need a drink.
1300
01:43:51,007 --> 01:43:52,791
- Sure. What can I get ya?
1301
01:43:55,925 --> 01:43:57,622
- Can I take a glass of that?
1302
01:43:58,101 --> 01:43:59,537
- Sure thing.
1303
01:43:59,581 --> 01:44:01,626
- But not one
of those cocktail glasses.
1304
01:44:01,670 --> 01:44:05,239
Give me a big fucking pint glass
and fill it to the top.
1305
01:44:06,022 --> 01:44:07,893
- Sorry, man. I can't do that.
1306
01:44:07,937 --> 01:44:09,808
- Why?
1307
01:44:09,852 --> 01:44:12,376
- 'Cause there's no good in what comes in a pint of whiskey.
1308
01:44:13,029 --> 01:44:15,597
- That's what I want. Bring it.
1309
01:44:17,207 --> 01:44:19,731
- Look, man, it's my discretion,
okay? It's my bar.
1310
01:44:19,775 --> 01:44:22,604
I can serve who I like
and what I like.
1311
01:44:24,388 --> 01:44:26,042
- Fill it to the brim.
1312
01:44:33,484 --> 01:44:35,051
- Your funeral.
1313
01:46:02,704 --> 01:46:04,619
- You lying motherfucker.
1314
01:46:15,804 --> 01:46:17,501
Fuck you.
1315
01:46:19,416 --> 01:46:21,766
� And old Johnny O'Toole
1316
01:46:21,810 --> 01:46:26,205
♪ I'll still beat you at pool
1317
01:46:26,249 --> 01:46:30,384
♪ So don't cry for me
1318
01:46:31,428 --> 01:46:35,345
♪ For I'm going away
1319
01:46:35,954 --> 01:46:37,913
♪ And I'll be back
1320
01:46:37,956 --> 01:46:41,830
♪ Some lucky day
1321
01:46:43,353 --> 01:46:47,357
♪ So don't cry for me
1322
01:46:48,358 --> 01:46:52,188
♪ For I'm going away
1323
01:46:52,536 --> 01:46:54,712
♪ And I'll be back
1324
01:46:54,756 --> 01:46:59,848
♪ Some lucky day... ♪
1325
01:47:21,696 --> 01:47:25,526
♪ You've been waiting
for your lover ♪
1326
01:47:25,569 --> 01:47:28,050
♪ When you'll discover
1327
01:47:28,093 --> 01:47:30,574
♪ She's always there
1328
01:47:32,794 --> 01:47:36,537
♪ Walk wild in her summer
1329
01:47:36,580 --> 01:47:39,191
♪ She is the drummer
1330
01:47:39,235 --> 01:47:41,716
♪ Of your beating heart
1331
01:48:06,436 --> 01:48:10,832
♪ Won't you tell her
that you love her ♪
1332
01:48:10,875 --> 01:48:14,749
♪ And you'll hug her
most every day ♪
1333
01:48:17,621 --> 01:48:21,799
♪ You won't ever push
or shove her ♪
1334
01:48:21,843 --> 01:48:24,019
♪ Find another
1335
01:48:24,062 --> 01:48:26,195
♪ She has to stay
1336
01:48:38,076 --> 01:48:41,079
♪ She has to stay
1337
01:48:45,780 --> 01:48:48,652
♪ She has to stay
1338
01:48:53,657 --> 01:48:56,791
♪ She's a woman in a dream
1339
01:48:59,097 --> 01:49:02,884
♪ One that makes you
fall in love ♪
1340
01:49:04,668 --> 01:49:07,889
♪ Though her face
is never seen ♪
1341
01:49:10,239 --> 01:49:13,677
♪ She is what this love is of
1342
01:49:40,704 --> 01:49:44,665
♪ Wake you
from your state of slumber ♪
1343
01:49:44,708 --> 01:49:47,493
♪ You tumble under
1344
01:49:47,537 --> 01:49:49,539
♪ But now awake
1345
01:49:52,020 --> 01:49:55,676
♪ Dream forever
in your wonder ♪
1346
01:49:55,719 --> 01:49:58,504
♪ And never sunder
1347
01:49:58,548 --> 01:50:00,550
♪ This is the day
1348
01:50:12,736 --> 01:50:15,565
♪ This is the day
1349
01:50:18,046 --> 01:50:21,571
♪ This is the day...
1350
01:50:28,404 --> 01:50:31,320
♪ She's a woman in a dream
1351
01:50:33,409 --> 01:50:37,195
♪ One that makes you
fall in love ♪
1352
01:50:39,328 --> 01:50:42,418
♪ Though her face
is never seen ♪
1353
01:50:44,899 --> 01:50:48,337
♪ She is what this love is of
1354
01:51:11,229 --> 01:51:13,362
♪ Oh...
1355
01:51:23,459 --> 01:51:26,462
♪ She's a woman in a dream
1356
01:51:28,943 --> 01:51:32,642
♪ One that makes you
feel in love ♪
1357
01:51:34,470 --> 01:51:38,039
♪ Though her face
is never seen ♪
1358
01:51:39,954 --> 01:51:43,653
♪ She is what this love is of
1359
01:51:45,481 --> 01:51:48,658
♪ Like a woman in a dream
1360
01:51:50,965 --> 01:51:54,490
♪ One that makes you
fall in love ♪
1361
01:51:56,492 --> 01:51:59,669
♪ Though her face
is never seen ♪
1362
01:52:02,063 --> 01:52:05,849
♪ She is what this love is of ♪
1363
01:52:13,509 --> 01:52:15,511
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