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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:06,107 - Yeah, maybe. 2 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:09,043 - Cool, maybe I can like, call you. 3 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:11,479 - Yeah. - Cool. 4 00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:15,283 - Yeah, you should do that. 5 00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:16,717 Okay, here's a pen. 6 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:21,489 I can't remember the last time I did this. 7 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:22,823 Here we go. 8 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:26,260 This feels very 1993 right now. 9 00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:28,462 - I can't remember the last time I saw somebody 10 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:31,332 use paper to write something. 11 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,733 - That's actually my pager number. 12 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:36,270 - Oh yeah, 'cause it's the '90s. Yeah, I got ya. 13 00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:38,272 - It's green, you can see the inside of it. 14 00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:41,075 - And then I'll call you on one of those gigantic phones 15 00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:42,310 with the really long cord 16 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:46,347 that you have to like walk in and out of your kitchen on. 17 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,248 - Anyway... 18 00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:50,851 Well, have a good day. See you around. 19 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:51,719 - Bye. 20 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:56,390 Oh, we can watch Spin City. 21 00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:59,693 'Cause that's, you know, still on the air. 22 00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:02,563 Oh my god. 23 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,799 - Did that girl just give you her number? 24 00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:06,667 - Yeah. 25 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:09,470 - Is there something wrong with her? 26 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:10,404 No. 27 00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:14,375 I don't think so. 28 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,243 - Huh. 29 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:23,551 - Hey, asshole, there's nothing wrong with her. 30 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,419 She's well-adjusted, smart, and confident 31 00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:27,288 and that's why she likes me. 32 00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:28,156 - Okay. 33 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:31,559 - Man you are really killing the vibe here. 34 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,627 I had like five seconds of actual happiness. Thank you. 35 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:35,596 - You don't think that was weird, 36 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,165 what happened out there? 37 00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:40,201 - No. Stranger things have... 38 00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:41,369 Okay, it was a little weird. 39 00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:43,704 But maybe that means this one is different, you know. 40 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,473 Like you always see those old couples, 41 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,375 they've been together for like 60 years 42 00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:48,309 and you're like, "How did this happen," 43 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,277 because the woman is this sweet little thing 44 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,779 who you know was just smoking hot in her prime 45 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,515 and the guy is this like fat idiot with this ugly mug, 46 00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:57,251 he's not even charming or anything. You know? 47 00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:58,419 - So that's what you think this is, 48 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,321 the beginning of a long lifetime 49 00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:02,390 of misery for that poor girl? 50 00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:04,892 - It's called love. - Sign me up. 51 00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,420 - I think so. 52 00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,988 - Cool, me too. 53 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,990 - Tom. 54 00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,659 - I couldn't find the book in any of the bookstores. 55 00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,795 - Yeah, you can only find it online. 56 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,898 - Okay, um, is it still covered by financial aid? 57 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,733 - Yeah, you'll be fine here. 58 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,368 Books are covered by financial aid 59 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:55,703 if they're on the syllabus. 60 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:58,572 - Oh, okay, thanks. See you Monday. 61 00:03:58,606 --> 00:03:59,807 - See you Monday. 62 00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,412 Look at this guy! 63 00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:06,614 - You have students, that's crazy. 64 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:10,584 - Yeah, it's just so surreal to be back here, you know? 65 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,320 - Not really, no. 66 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,687 - Oh, right. 67 00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,456 Oh, how was your big camping trip? 68 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:17,691 Your-- what do you call it 69 00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,593 - Oh yeah, yeah. 70 00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,529 - Pretty good, I guess. 71 00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:22,530 - Oh. 72 00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,398 Did you finish your book? 73 00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:25,666 - It's almost there. 74 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,801 - That's great. I can't wait to read it man. 75 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,803 You know, I'm actually starting to work on another too. 76 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,505 - Oh, cool. 77 00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:34,508 - But uh, let's get out of here. Wanna grab a beer? 78 00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,609 - No, let's go do something else 79 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,745 'cause there's a million things to do in the city. 80 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,314 - Yeah, let's go play a quick nine. 81 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,621 - Wow, exactly the same. 82 00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,490 - Hey Rob. - Hey Carl. 83 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:50,791 This is my best friend Jason. 84 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,393 We used to come here all the time in college. 85 00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:53,661 He just moved back to teach. 86 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:59,299 - Oh, just a bourbon I guess, with ice. 87 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:01,435 Nice guy. 88 00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:09,042 - It's pretty wild. 89 00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:11,111 - Right there, it's where I met Serena. 90 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,946 Remember that night? That was-- 91 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:13,914 - Listen to this. 92 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,616 So I met this girl today, 93 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,618 and I don't want to get ahead of myself 94 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,521 but I think she's the one. 95 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:21,589 - Yeah. 96 00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:22,623 - That's great. - Thanks. 97 00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:25,626 Why does everyone-- 98 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:26,960 Of course she's normal. 99 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,429 - Okay, just checking. 100 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:29,797 Can I give you some advice? 101 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,098 I mean, I am married 102 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,100 so there's proof I'm better at this than you. 103 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,468 - Okay, what, what. 104 00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:35,803 - Play hard to get. 105 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,705 You get 'em? Keep it open. 106 00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,106 - That's your advice. - That is my advice. 107 00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,808 - Yep. 108 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:41,942 - I've never heard that before, thanks. 109 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,777 You're a master of female psychology. 110 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:46,580 - Oh yeah, I know it's a cliche, but it works. 111 00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:48,749 You think I tricked my wife? 112 00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:54,655 - Sorry again about the, you know, wedding. 113 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:55,623 - No, it's cool. 114 00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:57,425 - Plane tickets these days are just crazy. 115 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,427 - I know you wanted to be there. 116 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,829 - I'm excited to meet her though. Does she like it? 117 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,031 - Eh, you know. She's-- she'll come around. 118 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:07,435 She's still getting used to the place. 119 00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:11,071 - Yeah, she'll get there. 120 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:22,750 Hello? 121 00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:25,152 - Hey, it's Rob from yesterday. 122 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:26,820 Oh, hi. 123 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:31,425 No no no, it's just... 124 00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:32,860 Give me a second. 125 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:43,170 Okay, that's better. I can hear you now. 126 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,074 Oh, I'm just at this thing that's full of people 127 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,876 talking about how great they are. 128 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,444 It's really fun. 129 00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,714 - Yeah, I'm at one of those things too. 130 00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,884 - It's a banquet. - Oh. 131 00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:01,889 - It's in my honor, actually, so it's pretty cool. 132 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,724 It's for all my charity work. 133 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:07,227 Is this why you called me, Rob, to lie to me? 134 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,763 - No, actually I was wondering 135 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:15,068 if you wanted to hang out tomorrow night. 136 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:18,205 - Yeah. 137 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:21,542 - I have-- I have plans, actually. 138 00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:22,510 - Oh, okay. 139 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:29,717 But Sunday, I think I can hang out on Sunday, 140 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:30,751 if you want. 141 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:34,021 - Okay. Yeah, that'd be cool. 142 00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:37,057 I'll call you. 143 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:40,761 Okay. You gonna take me out on your yacht? 144 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,496 - Bye. 145 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:44,665 - Bye. 146 00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:49,670 - You said your dream girl couldn't come? 147 00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:50,938 - It would have been nice 148 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:51,872 to make a thing out of a ton of friends. 149 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,807 - Yeah well sorry, you're stuck with me. 150 00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,142 - Yeah, it's okay. 151 00:07:57,110 --> 00:08:00,047 - Girl, what's happening? Oh my god. 152 00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:04,552 Jesus. 153 00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:07,855 - Hey. - Hey, Jesus. 154 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,790 - Sorry, I had two flats. 155 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:10,658 How long have you been here? 156 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,092 - 10 minutes, which is way too long 157 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:15,763 to be a stranger in someone's house. 158 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,032 - I think she's hiding in the bathroom. 159 00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:19,967 That's smart. 160 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,770 - Yeah, she's crashing up there. 161 00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:25,739 - Oh my God. 162 00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:27,808 That girl I met 163 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,877 - Be cool. 164 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:30,911 What does that mean? 165 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,179 - I don't know. 166 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,048 - 'sup. 167 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:35,916 - Hey, hi. 168 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,790 What's going on? 169 00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:45,158 - This is my wife, Emily. 170 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:48,862 - Hi, I'm Emily. So nice to finally meet you. 171 00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,698 I've heard so much about you. 172 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,032 - Yeah, so have I. 173 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:57,605 - You two are off to a terrible start. 174 00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:03,143 - Rob saw this girl he just met who he's obsessed with. 175 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,112 - I wouldn't say obsessed. 176 00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:06,947 - Sorry, completely in love with. 177 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,916 So, where is she? 178 00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:09,983 - Uh... 179 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,056 That's her over there, eating a ton of food. 180 00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:18,291 - Oh yeah, she's cute. 181 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:21,261 Was she wearing pigtails when you met her? 182 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:24,898 Rob has like a fetish for pigtails. It's super creepy. 183 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:29,002 - It's not a fetish, I just think they're cool. 184 00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:32,005 - Yeah, pigtails are really cool. Everyone knows that. 185 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:34,241 So you gonna go talk to her or what? 186 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,944 - Yeah, I'll go do that. 187 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,211 - If you're just as weird as you are right now, 188 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,813 it will go great. 189 00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:40,681 - Okay... 190 00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:46,687 - Jason Mcallister. - Oh yeah, hi. You're... 191 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,056 - Rob Semeder, we teach in the same building. 192 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:52,025 Loved your book. - Oh, thank you. 193 00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:55,295 - Holy shit. Have you tried this mac and cheese? 194 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,364 - Something just happened. 195 00:09:57,397 --> 00:10:00,333 Did you shit your pants? 196 00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,035 No, god. 197 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:02,970 - You look like you shit your pants. 198 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,204 - I didn't. 199 00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:06,006 The girl who gave me her number... 200 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,041 Where is she? 201 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:09,910 - Be cool. 202 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,880 - She's here, and she's married. 203 00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:15,048 - I knew it! Oh my god, I knew it. 204 00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:15,949 I knew there was something wrong with her. 205 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:17,751 - Yes, you were right. Congratulations. 206 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,920 Stop celebrating. - I knew it! 207 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:20,888 - Okay, they're watching right now 208 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:24,892 so we have to pretend that we're flirting. 209 00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:26,794 You want me to flirt with you? 210 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:29,229 - Uh yeah. Yeah, please. 211 00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,964 Why? 212 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,933 - Because before she came up I was talking about her 213 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:35,903 and he thinks that she is you, so... 214 00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:39,206 - Oh, great. - So light and flirty. 215 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:42,943 Pretend I just said something funny. 216 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,016 Are you serious? What the hell was that? 217 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,718 - That was laughter. 218 00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:53,921 - I was doing what you told me to do, I was laughing. 219 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:56,056 - Did you hear a joke while getting a pap smear? 220 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,390 Because that's what that laugh sounded like. 221 00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:59,059 - Do you want me to fake like you or not? 222 00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,293 - Okay, interesting. 223 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,762 So true, I'll have to check out that article. 224 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,131 - You don't read articles, come on. 225 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,966 Just, okay... 226 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,034 Is this what serial killers look like 227 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:07,968 when they flirt with each other? 228 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,070 - No, this is great. You're doing great. 229 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,004 This is very convincing. 230 00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:13,173 Is it? Don't touch me! 231 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,808 Which one is her husband? 232 00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:17,210 - You know that guy, Jason, I was talking about? 233 00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:21,114 - Yeah. 234 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:24,885 - What's-- Have you not seen a picture of her, or like... 235 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,353 - I guess I forgot to ask. 236 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,889 - Jesus, you really need to stop being so self-involved, 237 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:30,457 or at the very least join Facebook. 238 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,392 - Okay, I'll get on that. I'll get on that. 239 00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:34,094 What do I do in the meantime though? 240 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,796 Because this is terrible. 241 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,331 - You've gotta fix this as soon as possible. That's it. 242 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,200 - Oh yeah. Just think. 243 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,404 That is really distracting. 244 00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:45,939 Can you just take it easy with the winking? 245 00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:47,074 You look like you're having a seizure. 246 00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:48,976 - I am seducing you. 247 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:52,245 - People wink once. They don't wink like 10 times, that's-- 248 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,480 - Can you just do this 249 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:55,015 so I can quit pretending I find you charming? 250 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,716 - Okay. - Okay, good. 251 00:11:57,484 --> 00:12:01,188 Hello? 252 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,190 - Oh my god, why are they coming? 253 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,357 Do they hear us? 254 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:08,161 - Rob. I'd like you to meet a professor in my department. 255 00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,930 This is Mark. 256 00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,231 - Hey, how's it going. 257 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:13,934 - I recognize you. You work at Satchels. 258 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,969 - Oh yeah, yeah. 259 00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:18,405 - Some good pizza. My compliments to the chef. 260 00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,307 Which would be you I guess. 261 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,175 - It's just temporary. 262 00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,114 - Are you gonna introduce us to... 263 00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:30,217 - Well yeah, this is Samantha. 264 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,185 - Hi. - Nice to meet you. 265 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,386 - Um, sorry, I have to go home. 266 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:37,324 My son won't stop trying to cut my babysitter's hair, so... 267 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:40,560 - Oh, good luck with that. - Thank you. 268 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,095 Call me. - Will do. 269 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:49,369 So, who are you here with 270 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,906 - You were happy when you found out 271 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:55,508 your book was going to be released in hardcover, right? 272 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:58,211 - Yeah, I was glad they thought I was selling copies. 273 00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:00,047 - No, but besides the money. 274 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:03,183 Hardcovers, they're durable, they last. 275 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,384 They come with this feeling of: 276 00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:07,354 this thing that I created that I put my everything into 277 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,156 might still be around and mean something 278 00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:11,358 in 10 years, or 100. 279 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,526 Paperbacks don't have that, they're disposable, 280 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,128 you know, forgettable. 281 00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:17,898 Doesn't mean they can't be a good read or anything. 282 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,100 - Well I'm sorry that I have to play the role of 283 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:23,170 the old lady party pooper, but I'm exhausted sweetie. 284 00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:26,373 Do you think we can head home? - Yeah, let's all head home. 285 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,141 - Oh come on, it's only 10:30. 286 00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:30,143 - Rob, why don't you walk Emily home? 287 00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,912 - No. No no no. 288 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,014 - I mean, if you're both ready to go 289 00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,415 it will give you a chance to get to know each other. 290 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,017 I mean, you barely talked all night. 291 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,385 - It's probably in opposite directions. 292 00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,220 - No no, we're on the way for him. 293 00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:41,955 It's really no inconvenience at all, right Rob? 294 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,156 You can do that. 295 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,592 - I don't uh-- I don't want to. 296 00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:51,231 What's the matter with you? Be a gentleman. 297 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,465 - I don't want to be a gentleman. 298 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,435 - Walk my wife home! - All right, fine! 299 00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:57,237 - Thank you! Jesus! 300 00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:01,274 - Thank you honey. Thank you very much. 301 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,216 - Are you trying to come up with 302 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:12,019 some of your clever small talk? 303 00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,488 - No, okay, I only go through the trouble 304 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:19,292 of being clever with girls I'm trying to sleep with. 305 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,061 Please don't respond to that. 306 00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:23,196 - Hey, I'm surprised too. 307 00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:27,034 - Oh, good. I feel better. 308 00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:31,004 - Look, I am aware that this is terrible. 309 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,172 - Well one of us has known 310 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,207 that you were married the whole time. 311 00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,376 By the way, where's your wedding ring? 312 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,011 - I don't like rings. 313 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,347 - Why, because they remind you of sacred vows? 314 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:44,084 - Hey, I haven't been very happy lately 315 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:47,254 and I engaged in some harmless flirting, 316 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:52,059 or at least I told myself that that's what it was. 317 00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,327 - How could you not be happy with Jason? He's the best. 318 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,129 I mean, he's Jason. 319 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,199 - You're not married to him, okay. 320 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:02,235 Things are just complicated with us right now. 321 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:03,436 - So what, you just go cheat on him 322 00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:05,205 with the first hot guy you meet? 323 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,374 - Oh, okay. I think cheating 324 00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:12,179 is a pretty hefty accusation there. 325 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:13,246 - Well what would have happened 326 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,015 if I didn't see you tonight? 327 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,417 - I don't know, okay. Honestly I have no idea. 328 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:21,388 Really it's-- It's been freaking me out. But... 329 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,358 I'm being truthful with you. 330 00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:27,027 I felt something, 331 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:32,165 when we met, something that I haven't felt in a long time, 332 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,501 something real. 333 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,305 I mean didn't you? 334 00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:41,341 - Maybe. 335 00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:45,578 - I don't know, I saw you and I liked you. 336 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,580 I liked that you were sweating 337 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,417 and you didn't know what you were doing, 338 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,252 and you have no direction. 339 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:56,189 - Okay, stop telling me what you like about me. 340 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,191 - I just... 341 00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:02,629 I know that you and I are the same. 342 00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:07,567 You and I aren't like Jason and that professor. 343 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,336 You're not gonna sit around 344 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:13,006 and talk about how amazing our book is. 345 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:17,277 I mean you and I aren't gonna do anything with our lives. 346 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:24,351 - No, of course not. 347 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,219 - Oh, well I-- 348 00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:27,520 You said that whole thing on the phone 349 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,422 and I thought that you were being serious about-- 350 00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,524 - I thought that we were being quippy. 351 00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:32,392 - Oh. 352 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:36,496 - Whatever. Look, you can't think that. 353 00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,265 Everybody can do something great 354 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:41,268 with their lives if they try. 355 00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:49,342 - Man, when we were on the phone I thought you were kidding. 356 00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:52,379 - Look, I know things got weird. 357 00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:55,315 You were right. I was wrong. 358 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:58,118 I don't know what I was thinking. 359 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:00,653 - Good. Good. 360 00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:04,457 - So... 361 00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:08,495 You're not obsessed with me then? 362 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,368 - That's funny. That's very funny. 363 00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:17,104 This is an awesome night. 364 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:20,673 - All right, well thank you so much for walking me home. 365 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,809 I appreciate it, and I... 366 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,712 I owe you one. 367 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,462 You're not gonna do it anymore? 368 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,631 - No, of course not. He's my best friend. 369 00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:47,434 - Okay, I'm making sure because this is actually 370 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:50,737 the worst thing that you have the capacity to do. 371 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:53,773 - I can do a lot of terrible things if I wanted to. 372 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,742 - No you couldn't. - Of course I could. 373 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:56,676 Are you serious? 374 00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:03,550 - I could kill a guy, if he pissed me off enough. 375 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,453 - You are such a pussy. You could not kill a man. 376 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,388 You'd be like crying, "I'm so sorry. 377 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:11,424 "I scraped you. I didn't mean to." 378 00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,326 - I will rob this place right now. 379 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,395 - Yeah. 380 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,764 - First of all, you can't afford a gun. 381 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:20,267 Second of all, it would be the only robbery in history 382 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:24,504 where the person with the gun is the one pissing himself. 383 00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:27,574 - Give me your wallet. Give me your wallet. 384 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,576 - Get off me. 385 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,144 - I'm gonna think of something. 386 00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:32,645 - I'm sure you will. 387 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,148 Fucking idiot. 388 00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:54,534 - Um, nothing. Just reading. 389 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:55,502 What? 390 00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,738 - Uh, the Bible. - All right. 391 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,709 So what are you doing tonight? 392 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,277 I'm still trying to sell Emily on this place 393 00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:05,612 so I wanted to take her out. 394 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,648 - Uh, I don't know. I'm pretty busy. 395 00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:11,251 Doing what? 396 00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:12,519 - Uh, I'm uh... 397 00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,756 Filing... - So not busy at all. 398 00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:20,293 Cool. Your place at 8:00? - Sure. 399 00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:22,662 - Okay, great. See you then. 400 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,347 - Hey. - Hey. 401 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,221 We were just pregaming a little. 402 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,624 - Yeah, we live in a college town. Learn to use the lingo. 403 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,326 Want a drink? - No, that's okay. 404 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:56,263 I've been pregaming for the past seven years. 405 00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:58,765 - Okay, well let's just go then. 406 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:07,206 - Okay. 407 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,644 - Oh, she loves this shitty band. 408 00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:14,747 Rob loves this band too. 409 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,320 You ready to dance, little man? 410 00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:24,457 - I think I hurt my leg, actually. 411 00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:27,727 - Yeah. 412 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,364 - Would you stop being yourself for a little? 413 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:32,565 I'm trying to show her this town doesn't suck. 414 00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:33,733 - Okay, sorry. 415 00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:34,834 - Whatever she wants to do tonight 416 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,570 let's just go with, all right? 417 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,413 - What do I look like I'm doing. 418 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:47,614 - Okay, great. 419 00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:52,018 - Want another round? It's on me. 420 00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,423 - That'd be nice. - Cool. 421 00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:01,494 - I'm really sorry. 422 00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:03,896 - Yep, I got you. It's cool. 423 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:06,599 - Man, I was killing it tonight! 424 00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:09,669 Ahh! 425 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:13,406 So, who's a better dancer, me or Rob? 426 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,375 - I think you both lose. 427 00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:18,311 - This has been a lot of fun, guys. 428 00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:23,950 Well, good night. 429 00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:25,051 - Good night. 430 00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:32,959 - Ah, got it. 431 00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:34,761 In you go my sweet. 432 00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:39,399 Thanks again. I think she really had fun. 433 00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:41,668 Let's do it more often. 434 00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:44,637 - Cool. 435 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,478 - You're kneading that dough like somebody who just realized 436 00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:53,713 they're gonna spend the rest of their life making pizza. 437 00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:55,047 What's up with you? 438 00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:56,916 - Nothing. Life rocks. 439 00:21:58,385 --> 00:22:00,920 - Oh no. You still like her, don't you? 440 00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:04,357 - Yes, okay! It's worse now actually. 441 00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:06,826 Like I was right about her. We would be perfect together. 442 00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:08,060 - Except for the fact 443 00:22:08,094 --> 00:22:11,731 that she's married to your best friend, right? 444 00:22:11,764 --> 00:22:12,832 - This blows. 445 00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:16,002 I'm depressed, can't sleep. 446 00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:18,971 - All right, just stick it out man. 447 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:24,511 Take it from somebody with experience. Not worth it. 448 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:27,714 Paragon publishing. 449 00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:29,816 - Hi, my name is Rob Donling. 450 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,419 I was wondering if you'd gotten a manuscript 451 00:22:32,452 --> 00:22:34,120 I'd mailed to you. 452 00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:36,823 Was it sent through a literary agency? 453 00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:40,827 - Um, I don't think so. I mailed it from my house. 454 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,662 Sir, like every other publishing house 455 00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:44,831 we do not take unsolicited material. 456 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,099 You'll need to find an agency to submit on your behalf. 457 00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:48,568 - Oh, um, okay. 458 00:22:51,771 --> 00:22:53,506 Can you mail it back to me? 459 00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:55,742 Kinko's is really expensive. 460 00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:57,644 I'm sorry, but the company has a policy 461 00:22:57,677 --> 00:23:00,146 to dispose of all unsolicited materials. 462 00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:02,715 We probably threw it in the trash. 463 00:23:02,749 --> 00:23:05,885 Is there anything else I can do for you? 464 00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:09,689 Are you still there? - Yeah, I'm still here. 465 00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:12,692 - You're gonna love this, Em. 466 00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:16,095 We used to go tubing all the time in the summer. Right man? 467 00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:16,929 - Yep. 468 00:23:19,165 --> 00:23:20,933 - Hey how's everything going with that girl? 469 00:23:20,967 --> 00:23:22,635 You still seeing her? 470 00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:25,772 - I don't know, things have been kind of weird lately. 471 00:23:25,805 --> 00:23:28,441 - Sorry. I heard women with kids could be tough. 472 00:23:28,475 --> 00:23:29,175 Don't worry. 473 00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:31,878 Whatever's meant to happen will. 474 00:23:44,891 --> 00:23:47,226 They don't have this in Queens, do they? 475 00:23:48,695 --> 00:23:51,531 - I said, they don't have-- Nevermind. 476 00:23:53,032 --> 00:23:55,167 Hey man, can I tell you something really quick? 477 00:23:55,201 --> 00:23:56,636 - Yeah, what's up. 478 00:23:56,669 --> 00:23:59,205 - I just, I gotta get it off my chest. 479 00:23:59,238 --> 00:24:02,742 I don't know if it's working out with her. 480 00:24:03,910 --> 00:24:05,044 - I know we seem like we're good 481 00:24:05,077 --> 00:24:07,714 but we got married too young. 482 00:24:07,747 --> 00:24:08,748 Do you know the divorce rate 483 00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:11,584 for couples our age is like 80%? 484 00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:13,786 We don't feel like one of those great couples anymore. 485 00:24:13,820 --> 00:24:15,054 You know, like all of a sudden 486 00:24:15,087 --> 00:24:18,190 we're eating dinner with nothing to talk about. 487 00:24:20,527 --> 00:24:21,728 - I don't know. 488 00:24:21,761 --> 00:24:23,796 I've just been thinking about it for a while. 489 00:24:23,830 --> 00:24:25,264 What'd you say? 490 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:27,600 - I said, "They don't have this in Queens, huh?" 491 00:24:27,634 --> 00:24:28,234 - Oh no. 492 00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:39,779 - Hey guys, I gotta go to the bathroom real quick. 493 00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:41,548 So let me do that, I'll grab the car, 494 00:24:41,581 --> 00:24:42,815 and I'll come get you guys. Cool? 495 00:24:42,849 --> 00:24:44,083 - Yep. - Thanks. 496 00:24:46,653 --> 00:24:49,789 - He was right, this is so pretty. 497 00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:50,657 - Yeah. 498 00:24:53,192 --> 00:24:56,963 - Hey so, um, I know it's been really awkward 499 00:24:58,097 --> 00:25:00,867 with the whole thing with you and I, 500 00:25:02,702 --> 00:25:05,137 and I'll be honest, I've enjoyed hanging out with you 501 00:25:05,171 --> 00:25:08,608 but I get if it's kind of too hard on you we can-- 502 00:25:08,641 --> 00:25:09,909 I can put a stop to it. 503 00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:10,977 - Yeah, yeah. 504 00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:12,779 - Maybe that's for the best. 505 00:25:12,812 --> 00:25:16,649 - Yeah, that's probably the smart thing to do. 506 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,034 Oh shit. 507 00:26:25,918 --> 00:26:28,220 - This is the worst thing I have ever heard. 508 00:26:29,822 --> 00:26:30,890 - I'm not trying to make you feel bad. 509 00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:34,026 No wait, I actually am trying to make you feel bad. 510 00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:36,295 - I know it doesn't sound great, but I've thought it over. 511 00:26:36,328 --> 00:26:37,930 I think I'm okay here. 512 00:26:37,964 --> 00:26:39,999 Are you so bad at having sex 513 00:26:40,032 --> 00:26:42,802 that you make women wanna be faithful to their husbands? 514 00:26:42,835 --> 00:26:44,937 - Well for one their marriage is rocky. 515 00:26:44,971 --> 00:26:47,206 Jason said he was seriously thinking about divorce. 516 00:26:48,407 --> 00:26:49,809 - So I'm just getting a jump on it 517 00:26:49,842 --> 00:26:51,043 like when you preorder those Morrissey tickets. 518 00:26:51,077 --> 00:26:52,779 - Okay, I know you might not understand 519 00:26:52,812 --> 00:26:54,914 what I'm about to say 'cause you're an idiot 520 00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,283 but when you friend is going through 521 00:26:57,316 --> 00:26:59,686 something terrible like considering divorce, 522 00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:02,421 the normal thing to do is to try and help them. 523 00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:05,758 It's not some liquidation sale of their life. 524 00:27:05,792 --> 00:27:08,928 - Well, that's why I'm checking out other girls too. 525 00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:10,797 I mean maybe he's just looking for that one little push. 526 00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:12,131 You know, I could give that gift to him. 527 00:27:12,164 --> 00:27:14,901 - Oh wow, he is so lucky to have you as a friend. 528 00:27:14,934 --> 00:27:16,869 That's really generous of you. 529 00:27:16,903 --> 00:27:18,004 - Oh, so Kareem can give a guy an alley-oop, 530 00:27:18,037 --> 00:27:19,706 he gets put in the hall of fame. 531 00:27:19,739 --> 00:27:21,674 Me I try to help out my best friend and I'm a homewrecker? 532 00:27:21,708 --> 00:27:22,909 That's what you're saying? 533 00:27:22,942 --> 00:27:24,076 - Oh good, I'm glad that you actually know 534 00:27:24,110 --> 00:27:27,313 there's a term for what you're doing here. 535 00:27:27,346 --> 00:27:29,315 - I should have known you wouldn't get it. 536 00:27:30,182 --> 00:27:31,417 - Because of your kid. 537 00:27:31,450 --> 00:27:34,687 You're like happy. I don't have anything. 538 00:27:34,721 --> 00:27:35,888 I'm almost 30 and all I've done 539 00:27:35,922 --> 00:27:38,825 is just make a shitload of pizza. 540 00:27:38,858 --> 00:27:41,327 I've never even really been in love. Did you know that? 541 00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:44,096 - Just give it time, it will happen. 542 00:27:44,130 --> 00:27:46,098 - When, is it waiting for me to get balder? 543 00:27:46,132 --> 00:27:48,134 - Maybe you're just in some kind of 544 00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:51,037 post-college malaise or something. 545 00:27:51,070 --> 00:27:53,005 - Okay, I've been out of college for seven years. 546 00:27:53,039 --> 00:27:55,241 I think by now we can safely call the malaise my life. 547 00:27:55,274 --> 00:27:57,109 Let's not kid ourselves. 548 00:27:57,143 --> 00:27:59,011 But with her, I don't know, I just... 549 00:27:59,045 --> 00:28:03,783 I feel like with her I can finally do something great. 550 00:28:03,816 --> 00:28:06,352 - Rob, hardly nobody ever gets to do 551 00:28:06,385 --> 00:28:08,354 anything great with their lives. 552 00:28:08,387 --> 00:28:10,156 You're just lucky that all the diseases you have 553 00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:12,859 up until now have been curable ones. 554 00:28:18,264 --> 00:28:19,999 Are you kidding me? 555 00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:22,101 He's your best friend, dude. 556 00:28:22,134 --> 00:28:23,402 - I can do this without hurting him. 557 00:28:23,435 --> 00:28:25,037 How? 558 00:28:25,071 --> 00:28:27,006 - The way things are going, they'll get a divorce, 559 00:28:27,039 --> 00:28:28,975 Emily and I can fly under the radar for a little while, 560 00:28:29,008 --> 00:28:31,110 like a year or two, and then when Jason gets remarried 561 00:28:31,143 --> 00:28:32,979 all of a sudden it's like, 562 00:28:33,012 --> 00:28:36,816 "What, Rob and Emily are together? Whatevs." 563 00:28:36,849 --> 00:28:41,020 - Oh, good. At least you're being smart about this. 564 00:28:44,023 --> 00:28:44,924 - Hey. - Hi. 565 00:28:46,292 --> 00:28:48,027 You look nice. 566 00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:48,895 - Thanks. 567 00:28:51,463 --> 00:28:52,431 Nice pigtails. 568 00:28:57,336 --> 00:29:00,940 Come in, come in. You'll catch a cold. 569 00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:17,156 Where's Jason? 570 00:29:17,189 --> 00:29:18,357 - He's at work. Do you have any roommates or anything? 571 00:29:18,390 --> 00:29:20,026 - No I really don't. 572 00:29:20,059 --> 00:29:21,327 - Whatever you gotta tell yourself. 573 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:22,929 Condom? 574 00:29:22,962 --> 00:29:24,997 - Wow, we're just diving in, huh? 575 00:29:26,565 --> 00:29:29,535 - No, no. Are you allergic to latex? 576 00:29:29,568 --> 00:29:32,071 - No. That was very kind of you to ask. 577 00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:33,472 - I'm being polite. 578 00:29:36,542 --> 00:29:37,476 That was... 579 00:29:38,945 --> 00:29:40,980 That was okay, what we just did, right? 580 00:29:41,013 --> 00:29:43,449 - This is probably the worst time you can bring that up. 581 00:29:43,482 --> 00:29:44,851 - I thought about it 10 minutes ago 582 00:29:44,884 --> 00:29:46,919 but I thought it would kill the mood. 583 00:29:46,953 --> 00:29:48,254 - That's romantic. 584 00:29:51,991 --> 00:29:53,592 What time is it? 585 00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:56,195 Oh, I probably should go. 586 00:29:56,228 --> 00:29:58,030 - Yeah. 587 00:29:58,064 --> 00:29:59,866 Jason will be back soon. 588 00:29:59,899 --> 00:30:03,002 He probably thinks that I'm home alone 589 00:30:03,035 --> 00:30:06,272 with a razor blade to my wrists, as usual. 590 00:30:06,305 --> 00:30:08,007 - Okay, all right. 591 00:30:18,184 --> 00:30:20,953 - Now I can hang out for a while. 592 00:30:22,054 --> 00:30:24,156 - Oh, step aside pictures of my nephew. 593 00:30:24,190 --> 00:30:26,325 We have a new champion. 594 00:30:26,358 --> 00:30:27,994 - Babies are weird anyway. 595 00:30:28,027 --> 00:30:29,862 - Yeah, who needs 'em. 596 00:30:40,006 --> 00:30:42,241 - What are these, like self published? 597 00:30:42,274 --> 00:30:43,109 - Yeah. 598 00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:47,479 - Not really. 599 00:31:00,059 --> 00:31:01,527 Hey, what are you up to right now? 600 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:03,095 Want to get lunch? 601 00:31:04,263 --> 00:31:07,366 Why? What the hell's the matter with you? 602 00:31:07,399 --> 00:31:09,101 - Sorry, uh, yeah. 603 00:31:10,202 --> 00:31:12,204 - I'm near Flackos, head on over. 604 00:31:12,238 --> 00:31:13,072 - Okay. 605 00:31:28,054 --> 00:31:30,289 - Thanks man. I just had to get away for a second. 606 00:31:30,322 --> 00:31:34,326 The school has been crazy. A lot of late nights. 607 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:36,195 - Oh, that sucks. 608 00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:40,332 - Anyway, I wanted to talk to you too, about Emily. 609 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:43,335 - I just, I've been thinking about it a lot, 610 00:31:43,369 --> 00:31:45,404 and I can't leave her. 611 00:31:48,574 --> 00:31:50,242 - I mean I know things are hard right now 612 00:31:50,276 --> 00:31:51,377 but maybe we're still just struggling to adjust 613 00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:54,246 to this new life, you know? 614 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:55,081 - Uh, maybe. 615 00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:04,723 - Uh-huh. 616 00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:08,160 - I just can't give up on her yet. 617 00:32:08,194 --> 00:32:09,261 - Okay, um... 618 00:32:11,630 --> 00:32:14,466 - Wait a minute. I know that look. 619 00:32:16,735 --> 00:32:18,704 - You thought you could keep it from me. 620 00:32:21,607 --> 00:32:23,275 No, no! 621 00:32:23,309 --> 00:32:25,377 - Yes, now it's obvious that yes you did get laid. 622 00:32:25,411 --> 00:32:26,612 - I don't know what you're talking about. 623 00:32:26,645 --> 00:32:27,546 - You know what I'm talking about. 624 00:32:27,579 --> 00:32:29,048 I know when you got laid, okay. 625 00:32:29,081 --> 00:32:30,316 Come on, give me some details. 626 00:32:30,349 --> 00:32:31,717 - I'm a gentleman! 627 00:32:31,750 --> 00:32:34,586 - You stop. You listen to me. 628 00:32:34,620 --> 00:32:36,555 My marriage is struggling and I just spent all day 629 00:32:36,588 --> 00:32:38,257 teaching a bunch of 18-year-old idiots 630 00:32:38,290 --> 00:32:40,426 how to format a works cited page. 631 00:32:40,459 --> 00:32:42,128 So you're gonna give me some details. 632 00:32:42,161 --> 00:32:44,396 Come on, help me remember what it's supposed to feel like. 633 00:32:44,430 --> 00:32:46,098 - Okay, okay, Jesus. 634 00:32:48,434 --> 00:32:49,435 It was fine. 635 00:32:50,369 --> 00:32:52,471 - Yeah, yeah. 636 00:32:52,504 --> 00:32:55,007 - That's great. I can totally jerk off to that later. 637 00:32:55,041 --> 00:32:57,043 Can you give me some specifics?! 638 00:32:57,076 --> 00:32:58,644 - Come on, we're in public. What's wrong with you? 639 00:32:58,677 --> 00:33:01,480 - Bet it was that Samantha girl, right? 640 00:33:01,513 --> 00:33:03,649 - Yeah, yeah, it was Samantha. 641 00:33:03,682 --> 00:33:05,317 - What positions did you do it in? 642 00:33:06,552 --> 00:33:08,320 - Yeah, I wanna know every position. 643 00:33:08,354 --> 00:33:09,321 - Uh, regular. 644 00:33:12,091 --> 00:33:14,793 - Missionary, I don't know. 645 00:33:14,826 --> 00:33:16,728 - Yeah I know it. 646 00:33:16,762 --> 00:33:17,763 - That's it. 647 00:33:19,398 --> 00:33:21,500 All you did was missionary? 648 00:33:21,533 --> 00:33:22,801 What are we 17 and virgins 649 00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:23,735 and don't know what the hell we're doing? 650 00:33:23,769 --> 00:33:25,337 You did missionary? 651 00:33:25,371 --> 00:33:27,373 What did you, sleep in separate twin beds afterwards? 652 00:33:27,406 --> 00:33:28,640 - You know what, you're right, it's boring. 653 00:33:28,674 --> 00:33:30,309 Let's just move on. 654 00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:32,078 - No, we're not moving on. You haven't told me anything. 655 00:33:32,111 --> 00:33:34,246 Was it good? What does she look like naked? 656 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,482 - She's a lady, god! 657 00:33:36,515 --> 00:33:40,486 - Would you please tell me what she looks like naked. 658 00:33:40,519 --> 00:33:43,522 - Amazing, okay. She looked amazing. 659 00:33:43,555 --> 00:33:44,590 - Nice. 660 00:33:44,623 --> 00:33:46,325 Pubes, no pubes? 661 00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:47,359 - Why is that at the top of the list? 662 00:33:47,393 --> 00:33:49,395 - Would you just answer. 663 00:33:50,396 --> 00:33:52,531 - Uh, no pubes I guess. 664 00:33:53,499 --> 00:33:56,102 - Emily shaves too. I'm into pubes though. 665 00:33:56,135 --> 00:33:58,104 - Can we stop saying pubes, please? 666 00:33:58,137 --> 00:33:59,338 - Okay, sorry. 667 00:33:59,371 --> 00:34:01,373 It seems like you really like this girl, huh? 668 00:34:01,407 --> 00:34:02,508 - Yeah. 669 00:34:02,541 --> 00:34:05,144 - Well, good luck, man. I hope it works out for you. 670 00:34:05,177 --> 00:34:06,378 - Thanks. 671 00:34:06,412 --> 00:34:09,115 - Two numbers twos. - Huh, that's us. 672 00:34:09,148 --> 00:34:11,350 - You know what, let me get this one. 673 00:34:11,383 --> 00:34:13,119 No, put your money away. 674 00:34:13,152 --> 00:34:14,720 - No no no, you've been getting drinks and everything. 675 00:34:14,753 --> 00:34:17,723 Seriously, like, this one's on me. 676 00:34:17,756 --> 00:34:21,693 - Okay, wow. Never thought this would happen. 677 00:34:21,727 --> 00:34:23,429 I'll get the food. 678 00:34:26,498 --> 00:34:28,567 Are you an idiot? 679 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:30,469 - Yes. - Yes you are. 680 00:34:31,670 --> 00:34:33,539 - Are you gonna do it now, knowing what you know? 681 00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:37,576 - Of course not. What kind of person would I be? 682 00:34:38,544 --> 00:34:42,481 - Um, I have to-- I have to tell you something. 683 00:34:49,755 --> 00:34:50,589 Oh, okay. 684 00:34:55,327 --> 00:34:56,328 - This is... 685 00:34:57,329 --> 00:34:58,797 This is hard to say. 686 00:35:00,566 --> 00:35:01,400 - I know. 687 00:35:03,369 --> 00:35:04,370 I love you too. 688 00:35:04,403 --> 00:35:04,603 - No! 689 00:35:06,372 --> 00:35:07,539 - I know it's not the perfect situation, 690 00:35:07,573 --> 00:35:08,607 but we're in love. 691 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:10,476 - You know what, don't tell me anything anymore. 692 00:35:10,509 --> 00:35:12,511 I'm too much of an accomplice already. 693 00:35:12,544 --> 00:35:15,681 - No, this is not a bad thing. This is a good thing, okay? 694 00:35:15,714 --> 00:35:17,616 I can finally have the life I've always wanted. 695 00:35:17,649 --> 00:35:19,485 And what kind of terrible things 696 00:35:19,518 --> 00:35:21,153 does that consist of? 697 00:35:21,187 --> 00:35:22,454 - Well, I just finished my novel, 698 00:35:22,488 --> 00:35:23,355 I can find a publisher. 699 00:35:23,389 --> 00:35:26,292 I found this amazing girl who loves me. 700 00:35:26,325 --> 00:35:27,393 It's finally happening. 701 00:35:27,426 --> 00:35:29,761 - I think you're forgetting one small thing here. 702 00:35:29,795 --> 00:35:30,796 - I know. 703 00:35:30,829 --> 00:35:32,030 - What are you gonna do, 704 00:35:32,063 --> 00:35:35,301 try and ruin their marriage since you're such a romantic? 705 00:35:35,334 --> 00:35:36,635 Billy! 706 00:35:36,668 --> 00:35:37,903 - No, I can't do that to Jason. 707 00:35:37,936 --> 00:35:39,671 He's already on the losing side. 708 00:35:39,705 --> 00:35:40,839 - That's really sweet. 709 00:35:40,872 --> 00:35:42,641 Did you light this on fire? - Yes. 710 00:35:42,674 --> 00:35:43,875 - That's not good. 711 00:35:43,909 --> 00:35:46,578 Go, go to your room! 712 00:35:46,612 --> 00:35:48,347 Go faster! Not a toy! 713 00:35:50,382 --> 00:35:51,217 What? 714 00:35:52,284 --> 00:35:54,220 - Look, Jason's not happy. 715 00:35:54,253 --> 00:35:55,787 There's gotta be some way I can do this 716 00:35:55,821 --> 00:35:57,489 that can help him too. 717 00:35:57,523 --> 00:36:01,460 You should get him fired. That could help. 718 00:36:01,493 --> 00:36:03,495 - I think I just found one. 719 00:36:04,363 --> 00:36:05,197 - Serena! 720 00:36:12,471 --> 00:36:13,905 - Hey Rob. 721 00:36:13,939 --> 00:36:16,442 Jason is back. 722 00:36:17,376 --> 00:36:18,710 - Yeah. 723 00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:29,221 - Oh, you caught me. This is embarrassing. 724 00:36:30,121 --> 00:36:32,858 - Well, some total babe told me once 725 00:36:32,891 --> 00:36:34,760 that her favorite memories of New York 726 00:36:34,793 --> 00:36:39,265 were watching TV and eating Chinese food with her husband 727 00:36:39,298 --> 00:36:43,235 so I figured she can do that anywhere, right? 728 00:36:44,903 --> 00:36:49,275 - Yeah, I'm running late. I'll be there soon. Okay. 729 00:36:56,582 --> 00:36:58,250 - Oh my god, Serena! 730 00:37:11,297 --> 00:37:14,500 Well it was nice bumping into you. 731 00:37:14,533 --> 00:37:16,802 I guess I'll see you around town. 732 00:37:16,835 --> 00:37:19,471 - Yeah, hopefully. - All right. 733 00:37:19,505 --> 00:37:20,739 - Bye. - See ya. 734 00:37:25,377 --> 00:37:26,678 Oh, there he is. 735 00:37:26,712 --> 00:37:28,347 - Hey, sorry. 736 00:37:30,949 --> 00:37:31,783 - Serena! 737 00:37:32,918 --> 00:37:36,021 - Oh, that must have been something. 738 00:37:36,054 --> 00:37:37,088 - Yeah, I guess. 739 00:37:37,122 --> 00:37:40,792 - Did you guys, you know, still have that spark? 740 00:37:40,826 --> 00:37:43,662 - I think me moving to New York and marrying another woman 741 00:37:43,695 --> 00:37:45,564 ended things between us. 742 00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:46,432 - Oh. 743 00:37:47,999 --> 00:37:49,401 - She was pretty aggressive though. 744 00:37:49,435 --> 00:37:51,002 I mean she's clearly hitting on me. 745 00:37:51,036 --> 00:37:53,472 I'm holding flowers for my wife. What are you doing? 746 00:37:53,505 --> 00:37:54,906 - Yeah, that's really weird of her. 747 00:37:54,940 --> 00:37:56,107 Just to be clear though, 748 00:37:56,141 --> 00:37:58,677 you don't still have like feelings for her or anything? 749 00:37:58,710 --> 00:38:01,079 Like, you know, maybe she was the one that got away, 750 00:38:01,112 --> 00:38:05,417 or your one true love, or one of those things? 751 00:38:05,451 --> 00:38:08,053 No, I'm married. 752 00:38:08,086 --> 00:38:10,389 - Just checking. - Yeah, thanks for checking. 753 00:38:10,422 --> 00:38:11,923 So what are you doing tomorrow night? 754 00:38:11,957 --> 00:38:13,058 Are you seeing Samantha? 755 00:38:13,091 --> 00:38:14,092 - That's what I usually do. 756 00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:15,994 - Well why don't we all hang out. 757 00:38:17,028 --> 00:38:17,896 - If you two are getting serious, 758 00:38:17,929 --> 00:38:20,065 I should get to know this girl, right? 759 00:38:20,098 --> 00:38:23,869 Otherwise, what kind of friend would I be? 760 00:38:23,902 --> 00:38:25,671 - No way. - Please. 761 00:38:25,704 --> 00:38:27,072 You can get whatever you want. I'll pay. 762 00:38:27,105 --> 00:38:30,008 All you have to do is pretend to like me. 763 00:38:30,942 --> 00:38:32,744 - I don't care. Get whatever you want. 764 00:38:32,778 --> 00:38:35,414 - No, I mean how much do I have to pretend to like you. 765 00:38:35,447 --> 00:38:36,081 - Come on! 766 00:38:38,617 --> 00:38:41,420 Like you'll probably break up with me in a few weeks. 767 00:38:41,453 --> 00:38:42,954 - That sounds pretty affectionate. 768 00:38:42,988 --> 00:38:44,523 - Okay, look, I've thought about it and you're right. 769 00:38:44,556 --> 00:38:45,924 I can't keep doing this. 770 00:38:45,957 --> 00:38:47,826 - Oh, you're gonna stop seeing her? 771 00:38:47,859 --> 00:38:48,927 No. 772 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,096 I mean I'm gonna figure it out how to make it work. 773 00:38:51,129 --> 00:38:53,399 - So uh, just to clarify, by make it work 774 00:38:53,432 --> 00:38:56,101 do you mean try to find some way to make Jason happy 775 00:38:56,134 --> 00:39:00,439 while you're still openly having sex with his wife? 776 00:39:02,073 --> 00:39:03,942 - I'm close to cracking it, I can tell. 777 00:39:03,975 --> 00:39:05,411 - Mm, you look like it. 778 00:39:05,444 --> 00:39:08,414 - I just need a little more time. 779 00:39:09,448 --> 00:39:10,649 You know, please? 780 00:39:12,718 --> 00:39:14,052 - What are you doing with your mouth? 781 00:39:14,085 --> 00:39:15,787 - Forming it into a smile. 782 00:39:15,821 --> 00:39:18,457 - Never do that again. - Okay. 783 00:39:19,425 --> 00:39:20,426 But still... 784 00:39:22,193 --> 00:39:27,032 - I am the only one in this scenario not getting laid. 785 00:39:27,065 --> 00:39:29,701 - It's gonna-- It won't be bad. It could be fun. 786 00:39:29,735 --> 00:39:32,404 It won't be fun, but it won't be bad. 787 00:39:32,438 --> 00:39:34,806 - Billy, hit the wire, come on. 788 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:36,575 - Finally, I'm excited to read it, man. 789 00:39:36,608 --> 00:39:38,176 It's about time you finished this thing. 790 00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:40,912 - Well I guess I just needed a muse. 791 00:39:40,946 --> 00:39:41,780 - Mhmm. 792 00:39:45,183 --> 00:39:47,152 Okay, well, this guy. 793 00:39:48,587 --> 00:39:50,121 What a great guy, this one. 794 00:39:50,155 --> 00:39:51,857 - Speaking of muse, Samantha, 795 00:39:51,890 --> 00:39:54,192 just to prepare you, this is gonna be super awkward, 796 00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,628 but I gotta say, Rob is not really known 797 00:39:56,662 --> 00:39:58,997 for overflowing with joy or anything, 798 00:39:59,030 --> 00:40:01,132 but since I-- or we have moved here 799 00:40:01,166 --> 00:40:04,169 and he's been seeing you, it seems like you make him happy, 800 00:40:04,202 --> 00:40:07,539 like happier than I thought was in his range of motions. 801 00:40:07,573 --> 00:40:10,208 No, I mean, you could pretty much go from kinda bummed 802 00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:13,812 to suicidal, so the fact that you're smiling is like, 803 00:40:13,845 --> 00:40:16,014 it's kinda creeping me out actually. 804 00:40:16,047 --> 00:40:19,150 So I would like to propose a toast to my best friend 805 00:40:19,184 --> 00:40:22,454 and the girl who's made him creepily happy. 806 00:40:28,494 --> 00:40:31,530 Doesn't this remind you of that place in Crown Heights? 807 00:40:31,563 --> 00:40:32,764 - Oh, yeah. 808 00:40:32,798 --> 00:40:35,534 - We went to get Caribbean food in Brooklyn 809 00:40:35,567 --> 00:40:39,638 and the guy tried to get us to rent the apartment upstairs. 810 00:40:39,671 --> 00:40:41,206 What did he say, like, 811 00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:43,241 "We will just need to use your closet for storage," 812 00:40:43,274 --> 00:40:46,812 and we were like, "Oh yeah, sign us up." 813 00:40:48,246 --> 00:40:52,518 We had quite a journey up there, huh 814 00:40:52,551 --> 00:40:53,184 - Yeah. 815 00:40:55,521 --> 00:40:58,156 Well, on that note, I have to pee. 816 00:40:59,257 --> 00:41:02,628 I have that effect on women. 817 00:41:03,995 --> 00:41:06,765 - So you two seem like you're doing great. 818 00:41:06,798 --> 00:41:09,200 - Actually, without going into it too much, 819 00:41:09,234 --> 00:41:11,537 Rob already knows, we were having some trouble adjusting 820 00:41:11,570 --> 00:41:13,505 but things have been better lately. 821 00:41:13,539 --> 00:41:15,507 She seems happier, and I dunno, 822 00:41:15,541 --> 00:41:17,609 maybe we're in a good place again. 823 00:41:17,643 --> 00:41:20,011 - That's really great. 824 00:41:20,045 --> 00:41:22,581 - Yeah, that's really great. 825 00:41:37,262 --> 00:41:41,633 You're on my hair. 826 00:41:43,168 --> 00:41:44,002 Ow! 827 00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:05,056 - I just want to say, before I go into anything, 828 00:42:05,090 --> 00:42:06,257 that I liked it. 829 00:42:06,291 --> 00:42:08,093 - Dude, you don't have to go easy on me. 830 00:42:08,126 --> 00:42:10,829 You can just be honest, I trust you. 831 00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:11,697 - Okay. 832 00:42:16,134 --> 00:42:18,136 Well if I'm being perfectly objective 833 00:42:18,169 --> 00:42:20,972 I have to say it's only pretty good, 834 00:42:21,006 --> 00:42:24,976 and unfortunately no one cares about pretty good these days. 835 00:42:25,010 --> 00:42:26,211 I mean, there are already so many people 836 00:42:26,244 --> 00:42:29,047 who are great at this exact thing. 837 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:32,183 - Man, you really didn't go easy on me. 838 00:42:32,217 --> 00:42:33,218 - You told me not to! 839 00:42:33,251 --> 00:42:35,353 - I meant, you know, like don't gush too hard. 840 00:42:35,386 --> 00:42:36,387 - I'm sorry! 841 00:42:36,421 --> 00:42:39,758 I'm just telling you what you'd hear from him. 842 00:42:39,791 --> 00:42:43,028 - Well maybe I can keep working on it. 843 00:42:43,061 --> 00:42:44,195 - Yeah, you could-- 844 00:42:44,229 --> 00:42:45,330 - Do you have any, like, notes or anything? 845 00:42:45,363 --> 00:42:46,798 - Yeah. 846 00:42:48,166 --> 00:42:49,100 - Um, okay. 847 00:42:50,401 --> 00:42:54,172 Well your protagonist is really unlikeable. 848 00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:57,108 - It's an extension of me! 849 00:42:57,142 --> 00:42:59,945 - Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. 850 00:42:59,978 --> 00:43:00,979 And, okay... 851 00:43:02,213 --> 00:43:04,349 The beginning is just too long, 852 00:43:04,382 --> 00:43:07,152 and you're really heavy-handed with your themes too. 853 00:43:07,185 --> 00:43:08,219 - Jesus. 854 00:43:08,253 --> 00:43:09,888 - And that metacommentary you make on the story, 855 00:43:09,921 --> 00:43:12,057 it just sticks out like a sore thumb. 856 00:43:12,090 --> 00:43:14,225 Also your characters speak in cliches. 857 00:43:14,259 --> 00:43:15,093 - Wow. 858 00:43:16,361 --> 00:43:18,664 Well I'm sorry it's not up to your standards Mr. Hemingway. 859 00:43:18,697 --> 00:43:21,366 - Look, it just seems like you're trying too hard, okay? 860 00:43:21,399 --> 00:43:22,901 Don't get me wrong, it's very competent. 861 00:43:22,934 --> 00:43:24,736 - That's not helping! 862 00:43:24,770 --> 00:43:26,838 All I'm saying is you can't try to be great. 863 00:43:26,872 --> 00:43:28,640 That stuff has to be effortless, 864 00:43:28,674 --> 00:43:30,008 like you're doing nothing, you know? 865 00:43:30,041 --> 00:43:31,342 - So what, you won't pass it along, 866 00:43:31,376 --> 00:43:32,577 is that what you're saying? 867 00:43:32,610 --> 00:43:36,381 - It's complicated. He hasn't been my agent for that long. 868 00:43:36,414 --> 00:43:38,950 - Well thanks for being honest, I guess. 869 00:43:40,686 --> 00:43:42,253 - Oh, and by the way, 870 00:43:42,287 --> 00:43:46,091 I know you've been hanging out with Mark. 871 00:43:47,358 --> 00:43:49,661 What do you think, I'm an idiot? 872 00:43:49,695 --> 00:43:50,528 - I don't know what you're talking about. 873 00:43:50,561 --> 00:43:52,831 - Oh, very convincing Jason, bravo. 874 00:43:52,864 --> 00:43:54,365 Hey, somebody give this guy a Tony. 875 00:43:54,399 --> 00:43:55,734 - Look, he's just a nice guy, okay. 876 00:43:55,767 --> 00:43:57,068 We watch hockey together. 877 00:43:57,102 --> 00:43:59,104 You don't like hockey. 878 00:43:59,137 --> 00:44:00,772 What do you, fake it with him? 879 00:44:00,806 --> 00:44:03,074 What the hell are you talking about? 880 00:44:03,108 --> 00:44:05,744 You're acting like I'm cheating on you or something. 881 00:44:07,045 --> 00:44:07,946 - You're acting like I'm cheating on you 882 00:44:07,979 --> 00:44:09,815 because I hang out with Mark. 883 00:44:09,848 --> 00:44:12,417 - You know, it's cool. Nevermind. 884 00:44:12,450 --> 00:44:14,419 I gotta go, so... 885 00:44:14,452 --> 00:44:17,055 - Rob, just hang on a second, man. The manuscript. 886 00:44:17,088 --> 00:44:19,424 - No no no, you can keep it. 887 00:44:26,064 --> 00:44:27,065 - Hey. Mwah! 888 00:44:28,166 --> 00:44:29,067 Just a sec, I gotta go take things 889 00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:31,803 out of the dryer really quick. 890 00:44:34,072 --> 00:44:38,143 So uh, that double date thing wasn't awkward at all. 891 00:44:38,176 --> 00:44:40,411 We should do that every night. 892 00:44:40,445 --> 00:44:45,050 We should go on trips together, and wife swap maybe. 893 00:44:47,185 --> 00:44:48,920 Did you hear what I said? 894 00:44:50,155 --> 00:44:51,790 - Oh, shut up. 895 00:44:51,823 --> 00:44:53,058 Mwah! 896 00:44:53,091 --> 00:44:56,261 So, it's not weird to be here, right? 897 00:44:56,294 --> 00:44:57,328 - No, it's great. 898 00:44:57,362 --> 00:44:59,230 - Well you'll be happy to know 899 00:44:59,264 --> 00:45:02,467 that my pubes are coming in very nicely. 900 00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:06,504 - Oh, I-- You don't have to do that anymore. 901 00:45:08,306 --> 00:45:10,976 - I don't know what I was thinking. 902 00:45:11,009 --> 00:45:14,913 - Okay. Well good, actually, because it's itching 903 00:45:14,946 --> 00:45:17,849 and it's really driving me crazy. 904 00:45:17,883 --> 00:45:20,485 Well we have just over an hour. 905 00:45:20,518 --> 00:45:22,020 We're gonna stay on the safe side. 906 00:45:22,053 --> 00:45:24,189 - We should get like a picture of us, 907 00:45:24,222 --> 00:45:26,457 you know, something nice. 908 00:45:26,491 --> 00:45:28,760 Don't you think? 909 00:45:30,128 --> 00:45:31,830 So we can look at it. What do you mean? 910 00:45:31,863 --> 00:45:33,865 - Rob, what is going on with you? 911 00:45:33,899 --> 00:45:38,069 - I think that we should start talking about our future. 912 00:45:42,007 --> 00:45:43,408 I love you, 913 00:45:43,441 --> 00:45:44,575 and you and Jason aren't happy. 914 00:45:44,609 --> 00:45:46,011 I mean, how much longer are we gonna keep doing this? 915 00:45:46,044 --> 00:45:48,346 - Babe come on, I don't really-- 916 00:45:48,379 --> 00:45:50,115 I don't wanna talk about Jason. 917 00:45:50,148 --> 00:45:51,382 - Well I do. I'm tired of feeling 918 00:45:51,416 --> 00:45:53,084 like we have to hide behind closed doors. 919 00:45:53,118 --> 00:45:56,154 - But that's exactly what we have to do. 920 00:45:56,187 --> 00:45:57,022 - Man. 921 00:45:57,989 --> 00:46:00,926 This affair is starting to feel pretty cheap. 922 00:46:00,959 --> 00:46:02,227 - Okay, well... 923 00:46:03,862 --> 00:46:05,797 What would make you happy then? 924 00:46:05,831 --> 00:46:08,566 - Well, I can at least take you out on a date. 925 00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:11,502 - No, we'll build a fort. 926 00:46:11,536 --> 00:46:13,204 Of course in public. 927 00:46:14,973 --> 00:46:17,042 - Rob, I mean, that's kind of-- 928 00:46:17,075 --> 00:46:18,810 - Look, if we want to be a real couple 929 00:46:18,844 --> 00:46:21,346 we have to at least try to resemble one. 930 00:46:21,379 --> 00:46:25,050 I'm starting to just feel like a huge skank. 931 00:46:37,528 --> 00:46:39,064 Sorry, I know I'm late. 932 00:46:39,097 --> 00:46:40,899 I totally forgot I was covering. 933 00:46:40,932 --> 00:46:42,333 Have you needed me? 934 00:46:42,367 --> 00:46:43,902 - Actually it's been pretty dead. 935 00:46:43,935 --> 00:46:47,005 Probably could have just stayed home. 936 00:46:48,639 --> 00:46:49,941 - I'm home! 937 00:46:58,649 --> 00:47:01,419 - I hope you don't have plans tonight 938 00:47:01,452 --> 00:47:03,354 because I got us these. 939 00:47:10,095 --> 00:47:11,897 - Babe. - Mhmm. 940 00:47:11,930 --> 00:47:13,264 - That is so sweet. 941 00:47:16,401 --> 00:47:17,568 - Um, I guess. 942 00:47:21,506 --> 00:47:22,941 - She said yes! 943 00:47:48,699 --> 00:47:49,901 - Hey, uh... 944 00:47:51,970 --> 00:47:53,638 I just wanted to say 945 00:47:53,671 --> 00:47:55,440 I'm sorry about that thing the other day. 946 00:47:55,473 --> 00:47:59,610 - No, dude, it's cool. Honestly. I'm sorry too. 947 00:47:59,644 --> 00:48:00,478 - Anyway. 948 00:48:02,013 --> 00:48:03,915 What are you up to tonight? Wanna play Nintendo? 949 00:48:03,949 --> 00:48:06,417 - Actually, Emily and I have a date. 950 00:48:06,451 --> 00:48:07,986 - Yeah. 951 00:48:09,554 --> 00:48:11,990 - If you're seeing him it's okay. 952 00:48:12,023 --> 00:48:14,359 - I'm not seeing him. 953 00:48:14,392 --> 00:48:15,460 We're gonna go have dinner 954 00:48:15,493 --> 00:48:18,229 and go see this talk by this astronomer she loves. 955 00:48:19,564 --> 00:48:21,266 - I know, it sounds like an oxymoron. 956 00:48:21,299 --> 00:48:23,101 - I'll hit you up tomorrow or something. 957 00:48:23,134 --> 00:48:24,302 - Okay, seeya. 958 00:48:27,872 --> 00:48:31,943 - No, it was Rob. Just seeing what I was up to tonight. 959 00:48:37,315 --> 00:48:39,150 ! 960 00:48:39,184 --> 00:48:41,019 - It's just the dog's. 961 00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:44,489 - Do you know you live in this house, 962 00:48:44,522 --> 00:48:47,492 that you're doing this stuff to? 963 00:48:47,525 --> 00:48:49,260 Hi, this is Samantha. I'm not here right-- 964 00:48:49,294 --> 00:48:52,063 Don't put that in your mouth! No! 965 00:49:44,382 --> 00:49:45,216 - Hrm. 966 00:50:01,366 --> 00:50:03,034 - Robert. 967 00:50:03,068 --> 00:50:04,802 - Oh, Dr. Babanikos. Hey. 968 00:50:04,835 --> 00:50:07,105 - I saw that Jason is back. 969 00:50:07,138 --> 00:50:08,706 - Oh, yeah. 970 00:50:08,739 --> 00:50:10,608 - His novel is wonderful. 971 00:50:10,641 --> 00:50:13,478 I assigned it to my students; They love it. 972 00:50:13,511 --> 00:50:16,514 It even helped one of them quit heroine. 973 00:50:16,547 --> 00:50:18,783 - Yeah, that's great. 974 00:50:18,816 --> 00:50:21,752 - So do you still work at the pizza place? 975 00:50:21,786 --> 00:50:26,091 - Yeah, um, but I'm actually working on a book too. 976 00:50:26,124 --> 00:50:29,327 - Oh, well, keep at it, you never know. 977 00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:32,463 Oh, but don't forget to check those commas. 978 00:50:32,497 --> 00:50:35,500 - Right. I remember you saying that. 979 00:51:08,766 --> 00:51:11,269 I think I'm gonna end things with Emily. 980 00:51:11,302 --> 00:51:12,503 - You're right. 981 00:51:12,537 --> 00:51:14,139 Jason's my best friend, 982 00:51:14,172 --> 00:51:16,374 and it's not like it could ever go anywhere, 983 00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:18,176 so what's the point. 984 00:51:18,209 --> 00:51:22,113 - I mean, that's good, man. That's really good. 985 00:51:22,147 --> 00:51:24,282 When do you think you're gonna do it? 986 00:51:24,315 --> 00:51:25,816 - I'm gonna run over after work. 987 00:51:25,850 --> 00:51:26,917 - Okay. 988 00:51:26,951 --> 00:51:30,188 Well I mean, you're gonna have more time to write. 989 00:51:30,221 --> 00:51:33,124 - Actually I think I'm gonna take a break from that too. 990 00:51:33,158 --> 00:51:34,091 - Oh. Okay. 991 00:51:41,232 --> 00:51:42,400 - Hey man. 992 00:51:42,433 --> 00:51:46,271 I think Emily is cheating on me. 993 00:51:47,605 --> 00:51:50,808 When can you come by the house? 994 00:51:50,841 --> 00:51:51,676 - Um... 995 00:51:54,879 --> 00:51:56,714 Like an hour, I guess? 996 00:51:57,682 --> 00:51:59,550 I'll be here. 997 00:52:05,523 --> 00:52:07,425 - Jason. 998 00:52:09,294 --> 00:52:11,529 - Oh my god. Did he just... 999 00:52:14,632 --> 00:52:15,900 What did he say? 1000 00:52:15,933 --> 00:52:18,536 - He wants me to come over. 1001 00:52:18,569 --> 00:52:20,471 - Be careful, man. 1002 00:52:20,505 --> 00:52:22,240 - What do you mean, be careful. Why? 1003 00:52:22,273 --> 00:52:24,509 - Because this could get bad! 1004 00:52:25,343 --> 00:52:26,544 ! 1005 00:52:26,577 --> 00:52:29,180 - What-- What don't you understand? 1006 00:52:29,947 --> 00:52:31,816 - I mean this is a tough-- 1007 00:52:31,849 --> 00:52:35,520 Dude, this is like, some intense stuff, man. 1008 00:52:35,553 --> 00:52:36,887 What do you mean intense stuff? 1009 00:52:36,921 --> 00:52:38,889 Like he'll be mad, that sort of thing? 1010 00:52:38,923 --> 00:52:39,857 He'll just be upset 1011 00:52:39,890 --> 00:52:42,360 and that will be the end of the intense stuff? 1012 00:52:42,393 --> 00:52:45,530 - No no no. This is like some dangerous shit. 1013 00:52:45,563 --> 00:52:47,865 Just take care of yourself, okay? 1014 00:52:47,898 --> 00:52:48,866 - Yeah. 1015 00:52:48,899 --> 00:52:51,402 - No, oh my god. 1016 00:52:51,436 --> 00:52:54,272 - No! Just be careful, dude. 1017 00:53:20,030 --> 00:53:20,865 - Finally! 1018 00:53:22,032 --> 00:53:24,469 What took you so long? I'm losing my mind waiting for you. 1019 00:53:24,502 --> 00:53:27,238 I found a condom wrapper and it isn't mine. 1020 00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:31,442 She's gotta be having an affair. 1021 00:53:33,043 --> 00:53:34,512 - I just want to find this asshole 1022 00:53:34,545 --> 00:53:36,781 and just punch his dick off! 1023 00:53:36,814 --> 00:53:39,450 - Hold on, maybe there's an explanation. 1024 00:53:39,484 --> 00:53:41,719 - What explanation could there be? 1025 00:53:41,752 --> 00:53:43,954 - I haven't used a condom in two years, 1026 00:53:43,988 --> 00:53:47,325 and when I did, it sure as shit wasn't sheepskin. 1027 00:53:51,296 --> 00:53:53,030 I bet it was that bald guy. 1028 00:53:53,063 --> 00:53:55,600 - Some bald asshole. 1029 00:53:55,633 --> 00:53:56,901 I saw them talking in the back of the party 1030 00:53:56,934 --> 00:53:58,703 and she acted all weird about it. 1031 00:53:58,736 --> 00:54:00,371 It's gotta be him. 1032 00:54:00,405 --> 00:54:01,406 - Oh my god. 1033 00:54:06,010 --> 00:54:09,280 - Yeah. 1034 00:54:10,848 --> 00:54:14,285 - Well I guess that explains the crabs. 1035 00:54:16,153 --> 00:54:18,856 - Yeah, I found out a few days ago I have crabs. 1036 00:54:18,889 --> 00:54:21,326 Must have gotten them from him and given them to me. 1037 00:54:21,359 --> 00:54:22,827 Bald son of a bitch. 1038 00:54:23,894 --> 00:54:24,795 And here I was thinking it was great 1039 00:54:24,829 --> 00:54:27,298 that she grew out her pubes. 1040 00:54:28,899 --> 00:54:33,504 - That is um-- That sucks, man. That's terrible. 1041 00:54:33,538 --> 00:54:35,072 I'm sorry you have to go through-- 1042 00:54:35,105 --> 00:54:37,007 Could you excuse me for just one second? 1043 00:54:37,041 --> 00:54:40,277 I have to just go to the bathroom. 1044 00:54:56,594 --> 00:54:58,696 - I want to be an astronaut and visit Jupiter 1045 00:54:58,729 --> 00:55:01,399 because it's the biggest planet in the solar system. 1046 00:55:01,432 --> 00:55:02,400 Thank you. 1047 00:55:02,433 --> 00:55:03,834 - Very nice Tracy, 1048 00:55:03,868 --> 00:55:07,472 and you were right about Jupiter. Good job. 1049 00:55:11,108 --> 00:55:11,942 - Rob. 1050 00:55:14,412 --> 00:55:16,681 - Can I talk to you for a second? 1051 00:55:16,714 --> 00:55:18,716 - Absolutely. Excuse me. 1052 00:55:31,095 --> 00:55:32,363 - No. 1053 00:55:33,898 --> 00:55:37,101 - Did you want to be a pizza man when you grew up? 1054 00:55:37,134 --> 00:55:38,769 - No. 1055 00:55:38,803 --> 00:55:42,339 - Who would want to be a pizza man when they grow up. 1056 00:55:45,410 --> 00:55:46,444 - Shake it off, Rob. 1057 00:55:46,477 --> 00:55:48,078 All right everybody, five minutes of quiet time. 1058 00:55:48,112 --> 00:55:52,082 Please put your heads down. Except for you, Kevin. 1059 00:55:57,187 --> 00:55:58,989 - You have something you want to say to me? 1060 00:55:59,023 --> 00:56:02,159 - Yeah. Don't come visit me at school. 1061 00:56:02,192 --> 00:56:05,530 - How about that you're sleeping with someone else. 1062 00:56:06,931 --> 00:56:09,500 - Jason found a sheepskin condom wrapper. 1063 00:56:09,534 --> 00:56:12,437 Sheepskin. I didn't know they still made those. 1064 00:56:12,470 --> 00:56:15,473 - Yeah. So did I. 1065 00:56:18,476 --> 00:56:20,811 What did he-- 1066 00:56:20,845 --> 00:56:24,449 Okay, all right. People find condoms in the yard. 1067 00:56:24,482 --> 00:56:25,783 I found it in the yard. 1068 00:56:25,816 --> 00:56:27,852 I'll tell him I found it in the yard. It's fine. 1069 00:56:27,885 --> 00:56:28,986 - I don't care what you tell him. 1070 00:56:29,019 --> 00:56:32,823 I'm not your confidant in this. This affects me too. 1071 00:56:32,857 --> 00:56:35,125 Who is this bald asshole? 1072 00:56:35,159 --> 00:56:37,462 What? 1073 00:56:37,495 --> 00:56:38,963 No, no, no. It was-- 1074 00:56:41,231 --> 00:56:45,970 It was the astronomer that Jason took me to go see. 1075 00:56:46,003 --> 00:56:46,937 - Dear god. 1076 00:56:48,038 --> 00:56:50,107 Where's he staying? 1077 00:56:50,140 --> 00:56:53,110 I want to have a word with this... 1078 00:56:53,143 --> 00:56:55,980 I don't know, astronomer, I guess. 1079 00:56:57,648 --> 00:56:59,684 - He already left for France. 1080 00:56:59,717 --> 00:57:02,086 You're not gonna have a fight with him. 1081 00:57:03,521 --> 00:57:06,457 - I don't know. I knew it was a bad idea. 1082 00:57:06,491 --> 00:57:07,725 It just happened once. 1083 00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:09,026 I don't know why I did it. 1084 00:57:09,059 --> 00:57:10,528 I knew as soon as I was doing it 1085 00:57:10,561 --> 00:57:13,664 that I was making a mistake. 1086 00:57:13,698 --> 00:57:16,701 - What tipped you off, pubic lice? 1087 00:57:16,734 --> 00:57:19,970 - Wait, is that what that itching is? 1088 00:57:20,004 --> 00:57:21,806 - Yeah. Tell him thanks for me too. 1089 00:57:21,839 --> 00:57:25,576 - Wait, Rob. No no no no. That's not possible. 1090 00:57:25,610 --> 00:57:28,112 I was with him yesterday. 1091 00:57:28,145 --> 00:57:29,647 You gave me crabs. 1092 00:57:32,817 --> 00:57:35,953 - There's no other explanation for it. 1093 00:57:35,986 --> 00:57:38,589 God, I must have given them to Jason then. 1094 00:57:38,623 --> 00:57:41,659 Why would you ask me to grow back in my pubic hair 1095 00:57:41,692 --> 00:57:43,561 when you have crabs? 1096 00:57:46,597 --> 00:57:50,267 - Well, let's not get distracted from the real issue here. 1097 00:57:52,236 --> 00:57:56,206 - That's not as big of a thing! This is bigger! 1098 00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:57,542 Crabs happen. 1099 00:57:59,910 --> 00:58:01,679 I can't believe you would cheat on me. 1100 00:58:01,712 --> 00:58:05,049 I thought you were the mistress. 1101 00:58:07,585 --> 00:58:09,820 All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I've gotta go. 1102 00:58:09,854 --> 00:58:11,055 I'm gonna go back in there 1103 00:58:11,088 --> 00:58:13,924 and pretend I'm not a teacher with crabs. 1104 00:58:13,958 --> 00:58:16,894 All right guys, heads back up. 1105 00:58:16,927 --> 00:58:21,231 Is there not a male equivalent to that? 1106 00:58:21,265 --> 00:58:24,234 - That's not really the point. 1107 00:58:24,268 --> 00:58:25,736 - Well then that's the first time since high school 1108 00:58:25,770 --> 00:58:28,105 I've been called mister. 1109 00:58:28,138 --> 00:58:29,907 - Well you are the... 1110 00:58:31,275 --> 00:58:33,310 - She was right. 1111 00:58:33,343 --> 00:58:37,848 Some people just can't do anything special with their lives. 1112 00:58:37,882 --> 00:58:41,619 The only thing I seem to be great at doing is nothing, 1113 00:58:41,652 --> 00:58:44,154 just wasting my potential as a human shield. 1114 00:58:44,188 --> 00:58:46,223 I thought I could find it with her, but... 1115 00:58:46,256 --> 00:58:48,192 - You'll find it. 1116 00:58:48,225 --> 00:58:49,359 You'll find it with somebody 1117 00:58:49,393 --> 00:58:53,297 that you don't have to break a commandment to be with. 1118 00:58:53,330 --> 00:58:56,066 - Yeah. I promise. 1119 00:59:02,206 --> 00:59:03,107 What are you doing? 1120 00:59:03,140 --> 00:59:05,910 - I don't know. I'm upset. 1121 00:59:05,943 --> 00:59:06,944 - It's okay. 1122 00:59:10,014 --> 00:59:11,315 Do you want a juice? 1123 00:59:11,348 --> 00:59:12,182 - Yeah. 1124 00:59:13,383 --> 00:59:16,320 - I was talking to the kid, but okay. 1125 00:59:33,370 --> 00:59:36,707 - Hey man. Can I stay here tonight? 1126 00:59:37,407 --> 00:59:38,809 - Yeah. Yeah, of course. 1127 00:59:38,843 --> 00:59:40,077 Uh, come on in. 1128 00:59:43,714 --> 00:59:46,617 - I just had to get out of there, clear my head. 1129 00:59:46,651 --> 00:59:47,852 - It's cool. 1130 00:59:47,885 --> 00:59:50,788 You didn't try to stay with anyone else first? 1131 00:59:50,821 --> 00:59:53,691 Like who? - I don't know. 1132 00:59:55,793 --> 00:59:57,294 So do you want a drink? 1133 00:59:57,327 --> 01:00:00,164 I have a water, or this guy gave me a keg to finish off. 1134 01:00:00,197 --> 01:00:02,399 - That's okay. Thanks though. 1135 01:00:02,432 --> 01:00:04,034 You're a good friend. 1136 01:00:04,068 --> 01:00:06,370 - Okay, you don't have to say that. 1137 01:00:06,403 --> 01:00:08,338 - No, really. You're a good friend. 1138 01:00:08,372 --> 01:00:10,307 - Okay, just chill out. 1139 01:00:10,340 --> 01:00:12,710 So did you talk to her? 1140 01:00:12,743 --> 01:00:15,145 - Yeah, we got into a fight. 1141 01:00:15,179 --> 01:00:18,048 A big one, and I stormed out. 1142 01:00:18,082 --> 01:00:20,350 She swears she didn't do it. 1143 01:00:20,384 --> 01:00:21,986 I just don't know what to think. 1144 01:00:22,019 --> 01:00:24,188 I mean, I know she's a flirt, but to think that she... 1145 01:00:24,221 --> 01:00:26,691 What do you mean? 1146 01:00:26,724 --> 01:00:27,925 - I'm not an idiot. 1147 01:00:27,958 --> 01:00:29,994 I see the way she talks to other men. 1148 01:00:30,027 --> 01:00:31,929 It's the same way she used to talk to me. 1149 01:00:31,962 --> 01:00:33,430 You never noticed that about her? 1150 01:00:33,463 --> 01:00:36,133 - I guess I missed it. 1151 01:00:36,166 --> 01:00:38,435 - Anyway, thanks for letting me crash. 1152 01:00:38,468 --> 01:00:39,970 It should just be for a couple days. 1153 01:00:40,004 --> 01:00:44,041 - Uh, actually, Samantha's kid peed on this couch. 1154 01:00:44,074 --> 01:00:45,309 Like all on it. 1155 01:00:46,877 --> 01:00:48,946 - Okay, so, that's gross. 1156 01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,717 I guess I'll just sleep on the... 1157 01:00:52,750 --> 01:00:55,385 - Why don't you take my bed and I'll sleep on the floor. 1158 01:00:55,419 --> 01:00:57,688 - No, I'm not gonna kick you out of your own bed. 1159 01:00:57,722 --> 01:01:00,758 - It's the least I can do. Really. 1160 01:01:00,791 --> 01:01:04,995 - No, seriously. We'll figure something else out. 1161 01:01:05,029 --> 01:01:07,164 How about I use your bed? 1162 01:01:08,432 --> 01:01:11,101 - I'll try not to give you a handjob. 1163 01:01:12,336 --> 01:01:14,772 Hey man, you awake? - Yeah. 1164 01:01:18,008 --> 01:01:21,278 - I lied about the handjob. - Awesome. 1165 01:01:21,311 --> 01:01:25,049 - Yeah. 1166 01:01:25,082 --> 01:01:26,416 - Well, I never told you this, 1167 01:01:26,450 --> 01:01:29,720 but one time we were at a party and we made out. 1168 01:01:29,754 --> 01:01:32,757 - Yes. Sorry. 1169 01:01:32,790 --> 01:01:35,492 We were really drunk and it just happened. 1170 01:01:35,525 --> 01:01:37,194 I feel terrible about it. 1171 01:01:37,227 --> 01:01:40,765 I know you had this huge crush on her. 1172 01:01:40,798 --> 01:01:42,733 I just wanted to get that off my chest. 1173 01:01:42,767 --> 01:01:45,469 I should have told you a long time ago. 1174 01:01:45,502 --> 01:01:49,373 - It's okay. Thanks for telling me, I guess. 1175 01:01:53,043 --> 01:01:54,444 Well, good night. 1176 01:02:39,589 --> 01:02:41,058 Hi. 1177 01:02:41,091 --> 01:02:43,794 I know you want some time to think about this. 1178 01:02:43,828 --> 01:02:46,296 I just hope that you believe me. 1179 01:02:47,364 --> 01:02:48,799 Okay, love you. 1180 01:02:55,539 --> 01:02:56,907 It's me again. 1181 01:02:58,342 --> 01:03:01,879 It's really scary without you here. Just really quiet. 1182 01:03:03,047 --> 01:03:05,850 Anyway, I hope you're just having fun with Rob 1183 01:03:05,883 --> 01:03:08,819 and that's why you aren't picking up. 1184 01:03:08,853 --> 01:03:11,388 And I hope you know that I love-- 1185 01:03:13,590 --> 01:03:14,691 Jason, it's Peter. 1186 01:03:14,724 --> 01:03:17,027 I read the chapters you sent over and they're great. 1187 01:03:17,061 --> 01:03:19,129 Loved it. Can't wait to see where you take it. 1188 01:03:19,163 --> 01:03:21,198 Oh, and I looked at the other writer's book too, 1189 01:03:21,231 --> 01:03:23,400 and well, I think it's a pass for me. 1190 01:03:23,433 --> 01:03:25,369 It wasn't bad but it just didn't wow me, 1191 01:03:25,402 --> 01:03:27,571 and that metachapter in the book really took me out of it. 1192 01:03:27,604 --> 01:03:30,607 Calling it out didn't help either. But thanks for sending. 1193 01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:32,176 All right. Excited for your new one. 1194 01:03:32,209 --> 01:03:35,880 You're gonna do great things man. Talk soon. 1195 01:04:12,649 --> 01:04:14,952 - Hey, sorry. I've got class. 1196 01:04:14,985 --> 01:04:17,321 - That's okay. I've gotta wake up too. 1197 01:04:17,354 --> 01:04:18,956 When are you working? 1198 01:04:18,989 --> 01:04:20,657 - Like 10 minutes. 1199 01:04:20,690 --> 01:04:22,927 - Well you look great. 1200 01:04:35,705 --> 01:04:37,207 See you at dinner. 1201 01:04:39,509 --> 01:04:41,478 Hey girl. - Hey. 1202 01:04:41,511 --> 01:04:44,148 So uh, has Jason asked about me? 1203 01:04:44,181 --> 01:04:46,516 - Uh, no, not really. Sorry. 1204 01:04:53,423 --> 01:04:56,593 - Um, I'll just-- I'll have a number one, to go. 1205 01:04:56,626 --> 01:04:58,162 - Okay. 1206 01:04:58,195 --> 01:05:00,430 Hey, no, it's cool. It's on me. 1207 01:05:00,464 --> 01:05:01,298 - My hero. 1208 01:05:11,175 --> 01:05:12,709 - Jason isn't returning my calls. 1209 01:05:12,742 --> 01:05:14,011 I need to talk to him. 1210 01:05:14,044 --> 01:05:15,145 I can come by Satchels-- 1211 01:05:15,179 --> 01:05:17,514 - My shift just ended, so... 1212 01:05:17,547 --> 01:05:21,685 - Well, I'll just meet you at your place then, okay? 1213 01:05:21,718 --> 01:05:23,687 - I think he's still teaching, Em. 1214 01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:26,390 - I know. I want to see you too. 1215 01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:31,962 - This is some heavy shit, man. 1216 01:05:31,996 --> 01:05:33,263 This is a crazy rollercoaster. 1217 01:05:33,297 --> 01:05:36,300 This is like a trashy romance novel. 1218 01:05:36,333 --> 01:05:38,602 Come on. No it's not. 1219 01:05:38,635 --> 01:05:39,803 You're right. 1220 01:05:39,836 --> 01:05:42,106 The people on the covers of those things are really hot. 1221 01:05:42,139 --> 01:05:44,241 - You've been a big help. 1222 01:05:59,289 --> 01:06:00,090 - Hi. - Hey. 1223 01:06:03,427 --> 01:06:05,129 - I thought about wearing pigtails. 1224 01:06:05,162 --> 01:06:06,430 Would that have been funny? 1225 01:06:06,463 --> 01:06:08,732 - Yeah that would have been awesome. 1226 01:06:08,765 --> 01:06:11,701 - So I've been thinking, um... 1227 01:06:11,735 --> 01:06:16,006 I can make this whole thing with Jason disappear 1228 01:06:16,040 --> 01:06:18,542 and get things back to normal. 1229 01:06:21,011 --> 01:06:23,080 - I don't know. He's your best friend, he's my husband. 1230 01:06:23,113 --> 01:06:25,982 And I still love him. Don't you? 1231 01:06:26,683 --> 01:06:27,751 - I guess. 1232 01:06:27,784 --> 01:06:30,720 - I don't know. I mean our marriage isn't perfect, 1233 01:06:30,754 --> 01:06:35,125 but pretty good, which is all you can hope for, isn't it? 1234 01:06:37,061 --> 01:06:40,164 For the record, being with you was... 1235 01:06:42,132 --> 01:06:44,068 Was really scary. 1236 01:06:44,101 --> 01:06:46,670 - Because I love you too. 1237 01:06:46,703 --> 01:06:49,739 And anyway, you can tell me to go to hell 1238 01:06:49,773 --> 01:06:51,375 and I totally wouldn't blame you, 1239 01:06:51,408 --> 01:06:55,245 but I have to at least ask you for your help. 1240 01:06:56,413 --> 01:06:59,049 - I need you to convince him to see me. 1241 01:06:59,083 --> 01:07:02,386 You're the only person that he listens to. 1242 01:07:04,654 --> 01:07:05,855 - After reading your papers 1243 01:07:05,889 --> 01:07:08,258 I want to share with you all one of the secrets of writing 1244 01:07:08,292 --> 01:07:10,427 that I learned in college. 1245 01:07:10,460 --> 01:07:11,828 You'll never be a great writer 1246 01:07:11,861 --> 01:07:13,463 unless you start putting your periods 1247 01:07:13,497 --> 01:07:15,499 inside of quotation marks. 1248 01:07:15,532 --> 01:07:19,069 - Emily came by. Said she couldn't get ahold of you. 1249 01:07:19,103 --> 01:07:20,804 - Yeah. I threw my phone in a lake. 1250 01:07:21,771 --> 01:07:24,574 - I wish I'd had a pack of gum or something. 1251 01:07:24,608 --> 01:07:26,610 - I think you should talk to her. 1252 01:07:26,643 --> 01:07:28,445 You know, she's your wife. 1253 01:07:28,478 --> 01:07:32,182 For what it's worth, I don't think she did it. 1254 01:07:35,519 --> 01:07:37,721 - She doesn't have it in her. 1255 01:07:37,754 --> 01:07:40,190 - It's crazy where things go. 1256 01:07:41,291 --> 01:07:43,093 I remember the moment I first saw her. 1257 01:07:43,127 --> 01:07:47,097 She was the most beautiful, charming girl I had ever seen. 1258 01:07:47,131 --> 01:07:48,832 She just destroyed me. 1259 01:07:48,865 --> 01:07:50,200 It was like she was my ticket 1260 01:07:50,234 --> 01:07:51,835 to some higher plane of existence. 1261 01:07:51,868 --> 01:07:53,170 And now this. 1262 01:07:54,904 --> 01:07:57,407 If I could just find out, for sure, 1263 01:07:57,441 --> 01:07:59,843 that she cheated on me, 1264 01:07:59,876 --> 01:08:03,247 I think I'd be able to leave her and start over. 1265 01:08:03,280 --> 01:08:05,382 I'd probably even be happier that way, 1266 01:08:05,415 --> 01:08:08,185 instead of not knowing like this. 1267 01:08:08,218 --> 01:08:11,755 Anyway, I guess I should go hear her out. 1268 01:08:11,788 --> 01:08:12,822 Thanks man. 1269 01:08:12,856 --> 01:08:17,361 Sorry you're caught in the middle of all of this. 1270 01:08:30,707 --> 01:08:34,278 Hi, this is Emily. Leave a message. 1271 01:08:34,311 --> 01:08:35,745 - Hey, it's Rob. 1272 01:08:35,779 --> 01:08:37,614 I finally figured out how to make things right. 1273 01:08:37,647 --> 01:08:38,815 It'll be okay. 1274 01:08:38,848 --> 01:08:42,252 Just hold off on talking to Jason, and uh... 1275 01:08:43,487 --> 01:08:45,322 Call me back, I guess. 1276 01:09:42,979 --> 01:09:47,351 - Billy, come on! Sister hates it when we're late. 1277 01:09:49,919 --> 01:09:50,754 Yikes. 1278 01:09:52,789 --> 01:09:55,292 What happened to your everything? 1279 01:09:55,325 --> 01:09:56,993 - Can't talk. Dying. 1280 01:09:57,026 --> 01:09:58,928 - You know, for somebody who rides their bike everywhere 1281 01:09:58,962 --> 01:10:01,231 you're in terrible shape. 1282 01:10:01,265 --> 01:10:02,999 - Hi-yah! - Ow! 1283 01:10:03,032 --> 01:10:04,334 Ow! - Hi-yah! 1284 01:10:04,368 --> 01:10:05,602 - Ow, get him off me! 1285 01:10:05,635 --> 01:10:08,605 - Billy, get in the car. Get in the car. 1286 01:10:08,638 --> 01:10:11,308 Let's go. Seat belt on. 1287 01:10:11,341 --> 01:10:12,809 What's up? 1288 01:10:35,332 --> 01:10:38,802 - I think so. 1289 01:10:40,904 --> 01:10:42,406 - Emily is who I'm supposed to be with. 1290 01:10:42,439 --> 01:10:44,508 If I don't stop this now I might never be able to. 1291 01:10:44,541 --> 01:10:45,709 - What do you mean, 1292 01:10:45,742 --> 01:10:46,876 you're gonna tell Jason about the affair? 1293 01:10:46,910 --> 01:10:49,279 - He said he would rather know than be left wondering. 1294 01:10:49,313 --> 01:10:52,449 I mean, I finally figured out how to do this the right way. 1295 01:10:52,482 --> 01:10:54,784 There are no, like, losers here. 1296 01:10:54,818 --> 01:10:56,320 - Well-- - Okay. 1297 01:10:56,353 --> 01:10:57,487 - No, I mean like, what about you and him? 1298 01:10:57,521 --> 01:10:59,823 There's no way that you guys can be friends after this. 1299 01:10:59,856 --> 01:11:01,825 - He'll get over it eventually. 1300 01:11:01,858 --> 01:11:03,059 Okay, well if that's what I have to sacrifice 1301 01:11:03,092 --> 01:11:05,329 to make things the way they're supposed to be 1302 01:11:05,362 --> 01:11:07,431 then I don't have a choice. 1303 01:11:07,464 --> 01:11:09,433 I mean, maybe the purpose of our friendship 1304 01:11:09,466 --> 01:11:11,801 was so Emily and I could meet. 1305 01:11:11,835 --> 01:11:14,638 It could be one of those great "how we met" stories. 1306 01:11:14,671 --> 01:11:17,006 - That's that worst "how we met" story ever. 1307 01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:18,775 - It's the only one I've got. 1308 01:11:18,808 --> 01:11:20,444 - What about the coffee shop girl? 1309 01:11:21,978 --> 01:11:23,079 - I don't know, why not try something normal for once. 1310 01:11:23,112 --> 01:11:23,980 You said she seemed nice. 1311 01:11:24,013 --> 01:11:27,050 - Yeah, she seemed nice. She's not the one. 1312 01:11:27,083 --> 01:11:28,051 - What makes you think that Emily 1313 01:11:28,084 --> 01:11:29,619 would even leave Jason anyway? 1314 01:11:29,653 --> 01:11:31,988 - From what I saw they seemed pretty good. 1315 01:11:33,089 --> 01:11:34,891 - Except for the infidelity part. 1316 01:11:34,924 --> 01:11:36,793 - Hi-yah! - Ow! 1317 01:11:36,826 --> 01:11:38,362 - Billy! No. 1318 01:11:38,395 --> 01:11:39,095 - Why would you give him karate lessons? 1319 01:11:39,128 --> 01:11:40,364 You're just enabling him. 1320 01:11:40,397 --> 01:11:42,065 - Give mommy a kiss. 1321 01:11:43,132 --> 01:11:44,334 Oh, sweetie. 1322 01:11:45,134 --> 01:11:47,671 He only fights the bad guys. 1323 01:11:51,641 --> 01:11:53,076 - Thanks. 1324 01:11:53,109 --> 01:11:54,544 - I'd say good luck, 1325 01:11:54,578 --> 01:11:58,415 but I'm not really sure what I'd be endorsing. 1326 01:12:18,435 --> 01:12:21,137 * Slip off my shoes 1327 01:12:21,170 --> 01:12:23,006 * They're soaking wet 1328 01:12:23,039 --> 01:12:26,410 * Just like my coat and my vest * 1329 01:12:26,443 --> 01:12:28,912 * My bicycles covered in icicles * 1330 01:12:28,945 --> 01:12:33,617 * I made my way back to your house away from your * 1331 01:12:42,091 --> 01:12:43,527 Why are you so sweaty? 1332 01:12:43,560 --> 01:12:45,161 - I'm in terrible shape. 1333 01:12:45,194 --> 01:12:47,464 - Oh. Well, obviously. 1334 01:12:48,565 --> 01:12:50,967 - Oh, good. We talked it over. 1335 01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:52,836 It was just a misunderstanding. 1336 01:12:52,869 --> 01:12:53,970 So what's up? 1337 01:12:55,972 --> 01:12:58,141 - I have to tell you something. 1338 01:12:58,174 --> 01:13:00,444 - Oh, okay. Come on in. 1339 01:13:01,210 --> 01:13:02,111 What is it? 1340 01:13:06,450 --> 01:13:07,083 - Um... 1341 01:13:10,219 --> 01:13:11,054 I uh... 1342 01:13:13,457 --> 01:13:16,426 You're being weird. 1343 01:13:16,460 --> 01:13:17,093 - I uh... 1344 01:13:25,769 --> 01:13:29,439 I was lying about Samantha not having pubes. 1345 01:13:29,473 --> 01:13:30,774 She did have pubes. 1346 01:13:30,807 --> 01:13:33,477 I just didn't want to rub it in. 1347 01:13:34,511 --> 01:13:35,545 ! 1348 01:13:36,846 --> 01:13:39,015 Is that really why you ran all the way over here? 1349 01:13:39,048 --> 01:13:40,149 - Yeah. 1350 01:13:40,183 --> 01:13:44,053 - Okay. I don't think we needed to air that out now, 1351 01:13:45,154 --> 01:13:47,491 but thanks for telling me, I guess. 1352 01:13:47,524 --> 01:13:49,493 - It was eating me up inside. 1353 01:13:49,526 --> 01:13:50,527 - All right. 1354 01:13:52,729 --> 01:13:54,097 Let's just shake that off. 1355 01:13:54,130 --> 01:13:56,165 I'm glad you're here actually. Hang on. 1356 01:13:56,199 --> 01:13:58,234 Let me get something to toast with. 1357 01:13:58,267 --> 01:14:00,704 Not the pube thing. 1358 01:14:00,737 --> 01:14:01,838 Just hang on. 1359 01:14:03,272 --> 01:14:05,509 I feel like such a dork for making all these toasts 1360 01:14:05,542 --> 01:14:06,810 but there's just something 1361 01:14:06,843 --> 01:14:10,213 I've really been wanting to tell you. 1362 01:14:10,246 --> 01:14:12,081 Uh, god, this is dumb. 1363 01:14:13,583 --> 01:14:14,217 Um, okay. 1364 01:14:15,685 --> 01:14:18,488 So we've been best friends for what, 10 years? 1365 01:14:18,522 --> 01:14:21,057 And I really think there's a reason we're back together. 1366 01:14:21,090 --> 01:14:23,026 You know, you've just been such a huge part of our lives 1367 01:14:23,059 --> 01:14:24,661 since we moved here. 1368 01:14:24,694 --> 01:14:27,497 And obviously we've been having some problems, 1369 01:14:27,531 --> 01:14:28,998 as all marriages do. 1370 01:14:29,866 --> 01:14:31,267 But I think we can say safely 1371 01:14:31,300 --> 01:14:34,003 that those days are behind us. 1372 01:14:35,138 --> 01:14:37,006 And a big reason for that is you. 1373 01:14:37,040 --> 01:14:41,978 You really helped us through a rough spot, and um... 1374 01:14:42,011 --> 01:14:42,946 I love you. 1375 01:14:44,247 --> 01:14:45,582 We both do. 1376 01:14:46,616 --> 01:14:49,252 So, to you, for everything you've done for us, 1377 01:14:49,285 --> 01:14:51,220 and to a fresh start. 1378 01:14:59,929 --> 01:15:02,566 Ah, come on. Bring it in. 1379 01:15:02,599 --> 01:15:05,769 Let's get weird for a second. Come on. 1380 01:15:05,802 --> 01:15:06,970 Mhm. Mhm. Mmm. 1381 01:15:10,239 --> 01:15:13,242 There's a lot of love in the room. Can you feel it? 1382 01:15:13,276 --> 01:15:14,578 I know I can. 1383 01:15:28,157 --> 01:15:30,326 * I came here alone 1384 01:15:30,359 --> 01:15:33,329 * And I plan to leave that way 1385 01:15:33,362 --> 01:15:36,600 * But I find comfort in 1386 01:15:36,633 --> 01:15:40,570 * All of the things you say 1387 01:15:40,604 --> 01:15:43,607 * My heart unthawed 1388 01:15:43,640 --> 01:15:46,743 * And my brain unstalled 1389 01:15:46,776 --> 01:15:49,813 * Took time to comprehend 1390 01:15:49,846 --> 01:15:54,017 * Oh I made, I made it, I made it * 1391 01:15:57,320 --> 01:15:59,923 - Somebody bought one. I shouldn't be this excited. 1392 01:15:59,956 --> 01:16:01,958 - That's great, sweetie. 1393 01:16:02,892 --> 01:16:03,727 Let's go. 1394 01:16:12,401 --> 01:16:13,703 Somebody took one of those in the bathroom 1395 01:16:13,737 --> 01:16:15,772 so we threw it out. 1396 01:16:15,805 --> 01:16:17,340 - You son of a bitch. 1397 01:16:24,714 --> 01:16:26,282 - Uh, one. 1398 01:16:26,315 --> 01:16:28,818 That's not nothing. 1399 01:16:29,819 --> 01:16:31,087 - Eh, she'll tire out soon. 1400 01:16:31,120 --> 01:16:33,289 She's been crying nonstop. 1401 01:16:34,658 --> 01:16:36,259 - I wonder where she got that from. 1402 01:16:36,292 --> 01:16:38,762 Hey Rob, you're always sobbing uncontrollably. 1403 01:16:38,795 --> 01:16:40,263 Maybe you're the father. 1404 01:16:46,870 --> 01:16:48,738 Yeah, maybe. 1405 01:16:54,978 --> 01:16:59,015 * And we're bone prone to misery * 1406 01:17:00,684 --> 01:17:03,019 * But you still get drunk 1407 01:17:03,052 --> 01:17:06,690 * And wanna hang out with me 1408 01:17:06,723 --> 01:17:09,693 * And I'm at my best 1409 01:17:09,726 --> 01:17:12,428 * When I'm sleeping alone 1410 01:17:12,461 --> 01:17:15,932 * It's funny how time stops 1411 01:17:15,965 --> 01:17:19,302 * And starts on its own 1412 01:17:25,842 --> 01:17:28,011 * I came here alone 1413 01:17:28,044 --> 01:17:31,114 * And I plan to leave that way 1414 01:17:31,147 --> 01:17:34,450 * But I still find comfort in 1415 01:17:34,483 --> 01:17:37,386 * All the things you say, when you say them * 1416 01:17:37,420 --> 01:17:41,124 * Wanna hear you say 1417 01:17:41,157 --> 01:17:43,693 * That you came here alone 1418 01:17:43,727 --> 01:17:46,896 * And you wanna leave that way 1419 01:17:46,930 --> 01:17:49,766 * That you came here alone 1420 01:17:49,799 --> 01:17:53,703 * And you wanna change your ways * 1421 01:18:16,926 --> 01:18:19,929 * You won't change your ways 1422 01:18:19,963 --> 01:18:22,866 * You won't change your ways 1423 01:18:22,899 --> 01:18:25,802 * You won't change your ways 1424 01:18:25,835 --> 01:18:28,905 * You won't change your ways 1425 01:18:28,938 --> 01:18:33,109 * Way-ay-ay-ay-ays 103203