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1
00:00:00,858 --> 00:00:02,632
Hey, guys, check it out.
2
00:00:03,515 --> 00:00:05,329
"Wendy Harris,
Nurse Supervisor."
3
00:00:05,414 --> 00:00:07,079
You got a promotion?
4
00:00:07,164 --> 00:00:09,132
Your last name
is Harris?
5
00:00:09,562 --> 00:00:11,486
I'm so happy, I'm not even
gonna let that bother me.
6
00:00:11,570 --> 00:00:13,820
- Aw, good for you.
- Congratulations!
7
00:00:13,968 --> 00:00:15,867
You work so hard,
you deserve this.
8
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,394
Are you being
sarcastic?
9
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:20,398
Not at all.
10
00:00:20,483 --> 00:00:22,375
In fact, I would like
to propose a toast
11
00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:24,835
- to our dear friend...
- Please don't ruin this for me.
12
00:00:25,117 --> 00:00:27,171
I'm being sincere.
13
00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:28,325
Are you?
14
00:00:28,410 --> 00:00:29,501
Yes!
15
00:00:29,586 --> 00:00:31,789
I'm genuinely proud of her.
16
00:00:31,936 --> 00:00:34,612
Mom, stop.
You're not fooling us.
17
00:00:35,205 --> 00:00:37,976
Fine.
It was exhausting, anyway.
18
00:00:38,687 --> 00:00:40,750
Well, now this is
officially a celebration.
19
00:00:40,835 --> 00:00:42,711
Order whatever you want.
It's on us.
20
00:00:42,796 --> 00:00:44,188
Thanks, I'm just
gonna have soup.
21
00:00:44,273 --> 00:00:46,329
Soup?
I say go big or go home.
22
00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:47,797
Get the sicken cheeser.
23
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,024
What's a sicken cheeser?
24
00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:51,750
I meant the chicken Caesar.
25
00:00:51,835 --> 00:00:53,335
Damn it, I keep
flipping my words.
26
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,946
I know... you did it twice
during your share today.
27
00:00:56,031 --> 00:00:57,945
You sounded cricken frazy.
28
00:00:58,507 --> 00:01:00,032
I don't know
what's going on.
29
00:01:00,117 --> 00:01:01,796
Maybe it's 'cause
I'm not sleeping.
30
00:01:01,968 --> 00:01:05,726
Is that 'cause you and Andy
are "takin' care of bidness"?
31
00:01:05,928 --> 00:01:08,297
No, it's 'cause no matter
how low I set the thermostat,
32
00:01:08,382 --> 00:01:10,828
I still wake up like
I just walked out of a sauna.
33
00:01:11,062 --> 00:01:13,965
From "takin' care
of bidness"?
34
00:01:15,460 --> 00:01:18,429
Sweetie? Watch
some porn or something.
35
00:01:19,273 --> 00:01:21,320
I do. It doesn't help.
36
00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:24,625
Have you seen your doctor?
Maybe you're in perimenopause.
37
00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,920
Maybe you are, bitch.
38
00:01:29,795 --> 00:01:31,961
Sorry. I've also
been irritable.
39
00:01:32,046 --> 00:01:34,094
You know, I usually have nothing
but love for you in my heart,
40
00:01:34,179 --> 00:01:36,274
but calling Wendy
a "B" on her special "D"
41
00:01:36,359 --> 00:01:38,468
is totally "NC."
42
00:01:39,422 --> 00:01:40,984
Not Cool.
43
00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:44,329
You're right.
Let me make it up to you.
44
00:01:44,414 --> 00:01:45,625
After the meeting
this Friday,
45
00:01:45,710 --> 00:01:47,578
I'll take us all
to my club for lunch.
46
00:01:47,867 --> 00:01:49,772
Thanks, Jill.
That's so nice of you.
47
00:01:50,094 --> 00:01:51,359
And for what's it's worth,
48
00:01:51,443 --> 00:01:54,399
I still think going
to your doctor is a good idea.
49
00:01:54,484 --> 00:01:57,710
Well, keep it to yourself,
you toothless old dragon.
50
00:01:59,968 --> 00:02:01,710
I'm... I'm gonna call
my doctor now.
51
00:02:01,795 --> 00:02:03,017
Yeah.
52
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:18,337
*MOM
Season 07 Episode 16
53
00:02:18,451 --> 00:02:21,546
Title: "Judy Garland and
a Sexy Troll Doll"
54
00:02:23,867 --> 00:02:25,789
I've never been to a
country club before.
55
00:02:25,874 --> 00:02:28,194
I mean, once I ran naked
across a golf course.
56
00:02:28,390 --> 00:02:31,176
It's so much further than
you think it's gonna be.
57
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:35,418
Hi. My name is Bonnie,
and I look fabulous.
58
00:02:35,503 --> 00:02:38,292
Hi. My name is
Christy, and...
59
00:02:38,438 --> 00:02:39,746
yeah...
60
00:02:41,256 --> 00:02:43,154
Hey, did you guys check out
the menu for the club?
61
00:02:43,238 --> 00:02:44,460
We looked it up online.
62
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,372
Lot of shellfish.
63
00:02:46,951 --> 00:02:48,217
You know that
ribeye for two?
64
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,958
If I get it for myself,
would you guys judge me?
65
00:02:52,638 --> 00:02:55,201
Well, I hope you're happy.
I just went to my doctor,
66
00:02:55,286 --> 00:02:57,048
and it turns out
I am in peri-meni-pause.
67
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,617
Peri-meno-pause.
68
00:02:58,702 --> 00:03:01,294
Do not correct a woman
in peri-meni-pause.
69
00:03:02,201 --> 00:03:03,647
Oh, uh, look, honey,
we all go through it.
70
00:03:03,731 --> 00:03:05,049
It's natural.
71
00:03:05,274 --> 00:03:06,834
Since when do I care
about natural?
72
00:03:07,026 --> 00:03:08,817
I have worked so hard
to stay sober
73
00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:11,062
so that I can be in control
of what I say and what I do
74
00:03:11,146 --> 00:03:12,763
and what I throw
across the room.
75
00:03:12,852 --> 00:03:14,902
And now, just when I'm feeling
like I got it all together,
76
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:18,591
my hormones are like, "Screw
you! I'm your higher power now!"
77
00:03:18,803 --> 00:03:20,596
I'm not sure if I went
through perimenopause.
78
00:03:20,681 --> 00:03:21,794
I was in prison
at the time.
79
00:03:21,879 --> 00:03:24,068
Everyone was hot, cranky
and throwin' stuff.
80
00:03:24,153 --> 00:03:26,898
And by "stuff,"
I mean people.
81
00:03:27,851 --> 00:03:29,968
The doctor said
this could last a decade.
82
00:03:30,093 --> 00:03:31,564
A decade!
83
00:03:31,648 --> 00:03:33,359
We're moving.
84
00:03:33,851 --> 00:03:36,477
Well, it's usually
much shorter than that.
85
00:03:36,562 --> 00:03:39,572
I had a few mild symptoms
and then boom, over.
86
00:03:39,765 --> 00:03:42,793
And I've really felt like I
was in my power ever since.
87
00:03:42,991 --> 00:03:44,403
Plus, no more condoms.
88
00:03:44,487 --> 00:03:46,375
Oh, good.
Remind me that my baby-maker's
89
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:47,461
going out of business.
90
00:03:47,546 --> 00:03:48,712
Right when I finally have a guy
91
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,632
I might actually want
to make a baby with.
92
00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,899
Sorry, could you repeat
what you just said?
93
00:03:52,984 --> 00:03:55,987
'Cause I went deaf
when Marjorie said "condoms."
94
00:03:59,932 --> 00:04:02,602
Are you sure we can't sit down,
maybe get started
95
00:04:02,687 --> 00:04:04,812
with a little pickle plate
or something?
96
00:04:05,023 --> 00:04:07,679
As I told you before,
I can't seat your party
97
00:04:07,764 --> 00:04:09,507
until the club member arrives.
98
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,387
And as I told you before,
99
00:04:11,570 --> 00:04:14,387
okay, we'll be right over there.
100
00:04:16,546 --> 00:04:18,176
Christy, you've been
kind of quiet.
101
00:04:18,260 --> 00:04:19,610
Are you okay?
102
00:04:19,695 --> 00:04:20,874
I'm fine.
103
00:04:21,179 --> 00:04:22,780
I just got some bad news.
104
00:04:22,991 --> 00:04:24,313
I don't want to make it
about me.
105
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:26,304
It's Wendy's day. Wait for it.
106
00:04:26,389 --> 00:04:28,577
It's just, I didn't get picked
for moot court.
107
00:04:28,662 --> 00:04:30,624
What's that? They make believe
they're lawyers.
108
00:04:30,709 --> 00:04:33,018
How am I ever gonna be taken
seriously as a lawyer
109
00:04:33,103 --> 00:04:34,227
if I can't even
make moot court
110
00:04:34,311 --> 00:04:36,741
at a law school
next to a car wash?
111
00:04:37,079 --> 00:04:38,648
I don't know where
I went wrong.
112
00:04:38,733 --> 00:04:41,843
I put my name in early,
I sucked up to the professors,
113
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,157
and I can see you
in the mirror!
114
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,343
And I see you, too.
Hi.
115
00:04:49,366 --> 00:04:51,122
It's Jill.
116
00:04:51,881 --> 00:04:53,166
She's not coming.
117
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,734
- Seriously?
- What?! - Aw.
118
00:04:54,818 --> 00:04:56,383
She is, and I quote,
119
00:04:56,468 --> 00:04:59,609
"going home to have Andy
put a baby in it."
120
00:04:59,749 --> 00:05:01,538
What about
our lunch?
121
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,134
She says she'll
make it up to you.
122
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,741
Well, now you've already
seen me in this dress.
123
00:05:06,859 --> 00:05:08,835
It's my first time
wearing coral.
124
00:05:09,121 --> 00:05:10,601
Hang on.
125
00:05:11,733 --> 00:05:13,056
Hello, sir.
126
00:05:13,335 --> 00:05:16,623
Would you like to have lunch
with five beautiful women?
127
00:05:17,393 --> 00:05:19,773
There won't be
a big bar bill!
128
00:05:26,154 --> 00:05:27,245
Hi.
129
00:05:27,329 --> 00:05:28,906
Hi. What are you
doing home?
130
00:05:28,991 --> 00:05:30,719
I thought you were having
a big lunch for Christy.
131
00:05:30,803 --> 00:05:32,890
- Wendy.
- They all kind of blend.
132
00:05:33,804 --> 00:05:35,594
By the way,
thanks for always having
133
00:05:35,679 --> 00:05:37,085
bread and ham
in your house.
134
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,393
- Oh, it's 'cause I love you.
- Oh.
135
00:05:40,359 --> 00:05:41,609
You know,
if you really love me,
136
00:05:41,694 --> 00:05:42,789
you could spring
for some Miracle Whip.
137
00:05:42,873 --> 00:05:46,271
I know. Girls hate it,
but guys love it.
138
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:49,516
Sure. And in return,
can we make a baby?
139
00:05:49,601 --> 00:05:52,860
I know. Guys hate it,
but girls love it.
140
00:05:53,823 --> 00:05:55,704
Wha... uh...
141
00:05:56,212 --> 00:05:57,825
What?
142
00:05:58,090 --> 00:05:59,508
Here's the thing.
143
00:05:59,608 --> 00:06:01,664
- What?
- Well...
144
00:06:02,859 --> 00:06:05,555
it's just that we have been
together for almost a year now,
145
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:09,016
and I'm not getting any younger,
so, you know... baby.
146
00:06:11,554 --> 00:06:13,727
I'm gonna sit down
for a second.
147
00:06:15,065 --> 00:06:17,491
- Is that a no?
- No, you know, it's just
148
00:06:17,576 --> 00:06:19,775
I-I came here to make
lunch... had a little bit
149
00:06:19,860 --> 00:06:21,087
of an issue with
the sandwich spread.
150
00:06:21,171 --> 00:06:22,958
That was gonna be my...
151
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,821
big dilemma o' the day.
152
00:06:26,044 --> 00:06:28,735
Well, now it's: should we
or shouldn't we make a person.
153
00:06:28,820 --> 00:06:30,610
What do you think?
154
00:06:31,071 --> 00:06:32,685
Jill, I, um...
155
00:06:32,849 --> 00:06:35,939
I'm sorry, I-I didn't see
this coming on so quick.
156
00:06:37,241 --> 00:06:38,760
You know how
on our first date,
157
00:06:38,868 --> 00:06:42,523
you said, "What are you,
like, 35?" and I just smiled?
158
00:06:44,992 --> 00:06:46,883
I'm 40.
159
00:06:47,354 --> 00:06:49,500
And 18 months.
160
00:06:51,116 --> 00:06:52,686
Okay.
161
00:06:53,617 --> 00:06:55,664
But I think I'd be a great mom.
162
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,667
And I know
ou'd be a great dad.
163
00:06:57,786 --> 00:06:59,094
I mean, you're so strong.
164
00:06:59,179 --> 00:07:01,529
Just think how high
you could toss a baby.
165
00:07:02,268 --> 00:07:03,968
I would never toss a baby.
166
00:07:04,184 --> 00:07:06,249
Look at you.
You passed the test!
167
00:07:06,334 --> 00:07:07,350
Let's get to breedin'.
168
00:07:07,435 --> 00:07:08,882
Okay, uh, listen...
169
00:07:10,167 --> 00:07:14,077
babe, I-I get that
your clock is ticking,
170
00:07:14,162 --> 00:07:15,862
but I'm-I'm just...
171
00:07:18,116 --> 00:07:19,857
I'm not sure that we're...
172
00:07:20,429 --> 00:07:21,834
there yet.
173
00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:24,663
Oh.
174
00:07:26,670 --> 00:07:28,076
You're right.
175
00:07:28,295 --> 00:07:30,122
You're right.
Forget I brought it up.
176
00:07:37,828 --> 00:07:39,984
That's not you, is it?
177
00:07:47,494 --> 00:07:48,773
What?
178
00:07:49,388 --> 00:07:51,616
Nothing. I just love
179
00:07:51,701 --> 00:07:53,632
the one night a week
the bar is closed
180
00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:55,591
and we get to go to bed
at the same time.
181
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:56,982
Me, too. I get to read a little.
182
00:07:57,067 --> 00:08:00,185
Oh, wait, was that code? 'Cause
if it's code, just say so.
183
00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:01,880
No, no code.
184
00:08:03,011 --> 00:08:04,193
Just as well.
185
00:08:04,278 --> 00:08:06,108
This book is about
to unlock the mystery
186
00:08:06,193 --> 00:08:07,802
of compound interest
for me.
187
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:09,241
Can you rub
some lotion on my back?
188
00:08:09,325 --> 00:08:11,255
Uh, sure. Wait, is this code?
189
00:08:11,474 --> 00:08:13,476
Nothing is code.
Oh, okay.
190
00:08:16,021 --> 00:08:18,304
Do you ever wonder what
it would be like if we'd a kid?
191
00:08:19,406 --> 00:08:21,396
We'd be in The
Guinness Book of World Records,
192
00:08:21,481 --> 00:08:23,964
so that'd be sweet.
193
00:08:24,385 --> 00:08:27,348
I mean if we'd met during
our childbearing years.
194
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,596
Yeah, I guess
it's crossed my mind.
195
00:08:29,749 --> 00:08:31,347
We'd be the coolest parents.
196
00:08:31,432 --> 00:08:33,831
And as a result,
our kid would be spectacular.
197
00:08:34,221 --> 00:08:36,503
He'd probably be tall,
which is great.
198
00:08:36,626 --> 00:08:38,418
"He." I like that.
199
00:08:38,503 --> 00:08:39,979
I already ruined a she.
200
00:08:40,331 --> 00:08:41,496
He'd be funny.
201
00:08:41,762 --> 00:08:43,201
- He'd be outgoing.
- Mm.
202
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,339
He'd have the hair
of a sexy Troll doll.
203
00:08:47,705 --> 00:08:50,276
And I guess he'd say what he
thinks whenever he felt like it
204
00:08:50,368 --> 00:08:52,323
no matter how hurtful.
205
00:08:53,153 --> 00:08:55,028
And I guess he'd also
be super sensitive.
206
00:08:55,112 --> 00:08:58,217
Which is better than him
being super insensitive.
207
00:08:58,475 --> 00:09:00,380
Well, he'd also be
passive-aggressive.
208
00:09:00,465 --> 00:09:03,202
And likely have
addiction issues.
209
00:09:03,694 --> 00:09:06,212
And be in a wheelchair.
210
00:09:06,297 --> 00:09:09,025
Yeah, snowboarding off
a cliff isn't hereditary.
211
00:09:09,110 --> 00:09:11,290
Is always needing
to feel right hereditary?
212
00:09:11,375 --> 00:09:12,944
If it is,
our kid is doomed.
213
00:09:13,029 --> 00:09:15,072
Yeah, I'm starting
to not like our son.
214
00:09:15,157 --> 00:09:17,554
Yeah, he does sound
like a bit of a douche.
215
00:09:17,743 --> 00:09:20,096
But I'll tell you one thing:
with you as a father,
216
00:09:20,180 --> 00:09:21,707
he'd be gorgeous.
217
00:09:22,237 --> 00:09:23,652
Thanks.
218
00:09:24,688 --> 00:09:26,301
What are you doing?
That was code.
219
00:09:26,386 --> 00:09:27,612
Wha...? Oh.
220
00:09:32,670 --> 00:09:33,809
How was school?
221
00:09:33,894 --> 00:09:34,941
Did you ask your professor
222
00:09:35,026 --> 00:09:36,898
why you didn't get
chosen for mute court?
223
00:09:37,663 --> 00:09:40,045
Mootcourt, and I don't
want to talk about it.
224
00:09:40,130 --> 00:09:41,656
- Okay.
- Really?
225
00:09:41,741 --> 00:09:42,876
You're walking away?
226
00:09:43,037 --> 00:09:45,379
That was clearly
a cry for help.
227
00:09:47,425 --> 00:09:49,023
So, you-you want
to talk about it?
228
00:09:49,115 --> 00:09:50,949
Oh, my God, no.
229
00:09:53,456 --> 00:09:55,160
Exciting news, people.
230
00:09:55,283 --> 00:09:56,766
Andy put a baby in it?
231
00:09:56,851 --> 00:09:59,073
Not yet and maybe not soon
and maybe not ever,
232
00:09:59,158 --> 00:10:01,474
so,
I'm gonna freeze my eggs.
233
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,996
Good for you, taking matters
into your own hands.
234
00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:05,207
Exactly.
235
00:10:05,356 --> 00:10:07,184
Freezing eggs
is like freezing time.
236
00:10:07,269 --> 00:10:09,840
I can thaw them out,
hit them with a dash of sperm
237
00:10:09,925 --> 00:10:11,879
and use them
whenever I'm ready.
238
00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:15,027
Isn't that
really expensive?
239
00:10:15,112 --> 00:10:16,152
Yeah, well,
I thought so, too,
240
00:10:16,236 --> 00:10:18,456
but it's only $30,000.
241
00:10:21,090 --> 00:10:22,984
I've already been
to the doctor.
242
00:10:23,069 --> 00:10:25,247
I have to take a series
of these fertility shots
243
00:10:25,332 --> 00:10:26,285
to get me all eggy,
244
00:10:26,370 --> 00:10:28,425
but I need a partner
to help me with the injections.
245
00:10:28,510 --> 00:10:30,340
So, Christy,
246
00:10:30,424 --> 00:10:31,951
would you be my partner?
247
00:10:32,221 --> 00:10:33,377
I'd love to.
248
00:10:33,462 --> 00:10:34,683
Great!
249
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:37,034
Doctor said you should practice
on a grapefruit.
250
00:10:37,119 --> 00:10:37,949
So here you go.
251
00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:39,096
Yay!
252
00:10:39,251 --> 00:10:41,025
Homework that's easy!
253
00:10:41,596 --> 00:10:43,963
Isn't this something
your boyfriend should do?
254
00:10:44,166 --> 00:10:45,767
No, I decided
not to tell him.
255
00:10:45,852 --> 00:10:48,510
I don't want him to think
I'm obsessed with having a child.
256
00:10:48,595 --> 00:10:50,666
What do you think
of the name Pearl?
257
00:10:52,751 --> 00:10:53,978
Hate.
258
00:10:54,063 --> 00:10:56,205
Second grade, Pearl Fleming
cut off my pigtail.
259
00:10:56,344 --> 00:10:59,127
And you did nothing
to deserve that?
260
00:11:00,563 --> 00:11:01,946
Fine. Name your baby
Pearl,
261
00:11:02,031 --> 00:11:04,174
but we will have
a complicated relationship.
262
00:11:05,908 --> 00:11:07,025
Thanks for doing this.
263
00:11:07,110 --> 00:11:08,506
What about Wendy?
She's a nurse.
264
00:11:08,591 --> 00:11:10,429
Mom, I finally got picked
for something.
265
00:11:10,514 --> 00:11:12,033
Let me have this.
266
00:11:17,952 --> 00:11:19,478
- Ready?
- Mm.
267
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:20,994
Did you practice?
268
00:11:21,079 --> 00:11:23,356
Every grapefruit in our house
is ready to give birth.
269
00:11:23,441 --> 00:11:24,442
Okay.
270
00:11:25,545 --> 00:11:26,636
What's that?
271
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:28,033
An alcohol wipe.
272
00:11:28,119 --> 00:11:29,167
Ooh, alcohol.
273
00:11:29,252 --> 00:11:30,517
Should we call Marjorie?
274
00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:32,767
Just don't put it in
a glass with an olive,
275
00:11:32,852 --> 00:11:34,400
and we'll be fine.
276
00:11:37,506 --> 00:11:38,619
What?
277
00:11:38,728 --> 00:11:40,599
I have an intense fear
of needles.
278
00:11:40,705 --> 00:11:42,346
Which is why I became
an alcoholic,
279
00:11:42,431 --> 00:11:45,330
even though heroin
has less calories.
280
00:11:45,554 --> 00:11:46,858
Just breathe.
281
00:11:47,829 --> 00:11:50,830
Now, I'm supposed to inject you
two inches under your navel
282
00:11:50,915 --> 00:11:53,323
by pinching a small
section of your fat.
283
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:54,523
'Kay.
284
00:11:55,791 --> 00:11:57,833
All right, stop flexing.
285
00:11:58,033 --> 00:11:59,313
Sorry.
286
00:12:00,665 --> 00:12:02,757
There's not much
to work with here.
287
00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:05,014
I will pass that compliment on
to my trainers,
288
00:12:05,098 --> 00:12:07,016
Alfonso and Katya.
289
00:12:07,173 --> 00:12:08,416
Ooh!
290
00:12:08,501 --> 00:12:10,236
Calm down.
Focus on the fact
291
00:12:10,365 --> 00:12:11,854
that you're lucky enough
to be able to do this,
292
00:12:11,938 --> 00:12:12,943
'cause not everyone can.
293
00:12:13,037 --> 00:12:14,198
Wait a minute.
294
00:12:14,283 --> 00:12:15,877
Do you want to do this?
295
00:12:16,109 --> 00:12:17,940
Me?
296
00:12:18,283 --> 00:12:19,333
I don't know.
297
00:12:19,417 --> 00:12:20,432
Doesn't matter.
298
00:12:20,517 --> 00:12:21,775
I could never afford it.
299
00:12:21,860 --> 00:12:23,380
Christy, you're
like a sister to me.
300
00:12:23,465 --> 00:12:25,641
If you want to freeze your eggs,
I'll pay for it.
301
00:12:26,881 --> 00:12:28,364
You would?
302
00:12:28,924 --> 00:12:30,963
Yeah, we could go
through this together.
303
00:12:32,636 --> 00:12:34,676
You would give me $30,000?
304
00:12:34,777 --> 00:12:36,512
Well, I wouldn't give it to you,
305
00:12:36,597 --> 00:12:38,515
because of, you know,
your gambling history,
306
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,736
but I would give it
to the egg people.
307
00:12:41,490 --> 00:12:44,045
That's so incredibly
generous.
308
00:12:44,312 --> 00:12:45,533
Okay.
309
00:12:45,818 --> 00:12:47,144
Give me the shot.
310
00:12:47,412 --> 00:12:48,536
I already did.
311
00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:49,726
When you offered
me the money,
312
00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:52,045
I flinched and
it slid right in.
313
00:12:52,663 --> 00:12:53,667
Wow.
314
00:12:53,799 --> 00:12:55,162
Well, that didn't hurt at all.
315
00:12:55,351 --> 00:12:57,226
I hope the baby
pops out that easy.
316
00:12:57,623 --> 00:13:00,256
Oh, don't worry.
They do.
317
00:13:02,966 --> 00:13:05,257
This grilled cheese
is delicious.
318
00:13:05,342 --> 00:13:08,459
I went crazy and mixed
cheddar with American.
319
00:13:09,326 --> 00:13:10,498
Two kinds of cheese.
320
00:13:10,583 --> 00:13:12,725
Did you run into some money
I didn't know about?
321
00:13:15,833 --> 00:13:17,693
I am gonna be
up all night.
322
00:13:17,778 --> 00:13:18,803
What's wrong?
323
00:13:18,888 --> 00:13:20,787
Jill said
if I wanted to freeze my eggs,
324
00:13:20,916 --> 00:13:22,412
she'd pay for it.
325
00:13:22,865 --> 00:13:24,990
Y-You want
to freeze your eggs?
326
00:13:25,075 --> 00:13:26,234
I don't know.
327
00:13:26,319 --> 00:13:27,758
I mean,
it's kind of invasive.
328
00:13:27,912 --> 00:13:29,553
They put a needle
in your vagina.
329
00:13:29,638 --> 00:13:30,729
Okay.
330
00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,724
I'm gonna take Gus
for a walk.
331
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,443
Come on!
332
00:13:35,342 --> 00:13:37,053
Would you want
to have another kid?
333
00:13:37,842 --> 00:13:40,615
I wouldn't mind a chance
to do it sober.
334
00:13:40,973 --> 00:13:43,457
Remembering Christmas concerts,
335
00:13:43,588 --> 00:13:45,764
showing up for soccer games,
336
00:13:46,019 --> 00:13:48,225
keeping my clothes on
in the ball pit
337
00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:50,264
at Chuck E. Cheese.
338
00:13:50,756 --> 00:13:53,592
Hey, anyone who doesn't think
about getting naked
339
00:13:53,677 --> 00:13:56,115
in one of those things
is lying to themselves.
340
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,769
- Thank you.
- Mm.
341
00:13:58,333 --> 00:13:59,904
I guess if I'm
gonna harvest my eggs,
342
00:13:59,989 --> 00:14:01,146
I should do it now.
343
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:03,904
My period has been
extremely irregular lately.
344
00:14:03,989 --> 00:14:05,109
Hang on, please!
345
00:14:05,194 --> 00:14:07,060
Just looking
for the leash!
346
00:14:07,507 --> 00:14:08,889
And when my period
does come,
347
00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:11,006
the flow is like
Niagara Falls!
348
00:14:11,103 --> 00:14:12,404
Just whoosh!
349
00:14:12,489 --> 00:14:13,532
I don't need Gus!
350
00:14:13,617 --> 00:14:15,100
I'm just
leaving!
351
00:14:16,752 --> 00:14:18,065
Hmm?
352
00:14:18,982 --> 00:14:20,508
Do you think
it's a terrible idea?
353
00:14:21,346 --> 00:14:22,738
If you want to do it,
354
00:14:22,823 --> 00:14:24,044
I'm all in.
355
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:25,955
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
356
00:14:26,211 --> 00:14:27,362
Just put your eggs on ice.
357
00:14:27,447 --> 00:14:28,984
And then, after law school,
we'll get Jill
358
00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:30,253
to buy you some Olympic sperm,
359
00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:31,994
and we'll raise a super baby.
360
00:14:32,334 --> 00:14:33,599
Okay.
361
00:14:33,684 --> 00:14:35,283
Okay, let's do this.
362
00:14:37,589 --> 00:14:40,247
But I wouldn't want to do it
right after law school,
363
00:14:40,361 --> 00:14:41,957
'cause, you know,
I'll want to give myself
364
00:14:42,041 --> 00:14:43,730
a couple years
to get established.
365
00:14:43,822 --> 00:14:44,957
So in five years?
366
00:14:45,283 --> 00:14:47,049
I might want to try
and go for partner,
367
00:14:47,150 --> 00:14:48,213
so I may need nine.
368
00:14:48,298 --> 00:14:49,955
- Okay, great.
- So...
369
00:14:50,275 --> 00:14:53,368
when the kid graduates
high school, you'll be, uh...
370
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,161
...68.
371
00:14:55,254 --> 00:14:57,389
And if my math is correct,
I'll be...
372
00:14:57,932 --> 00:15:00,236
...67.
373
00:15:02,665 --> 00:15:04,627
Mm, but are you sure?
374
00:15:04,712 --> 00:15:07,631
Because it sounds like
you don't want to have a baby...
375
00:15:07,716 --> 00:15:09,025
You want to have a career.
376
00:15:09,877 --> 00:15:12,432
Well, then why am I considering
having a baby?
377
00:15:12,517 --> 00:15:14,173
Because you didn't get
into moot court.
378
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,635
That's ridiculous.
379
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,307
Wait for it.
380
00:15:18,271 --> 00:15:20,525
Oh. Damn,
there's no one here.
381
00:15:21,382 --> 00:15:22,647
Oh, my God.
382
00:15:22,910 --> 00:15:24,562
I was totally
about to have a baby
383
00:15:24,647 --> 00:15:25,799
because I didn't get a part
384
00:15:25,899 --> 00:15:29,062
in what is basically
the law school play.
385
00:15:29,510 --> 00:15:32,937
Hey, I had you because I needed
a ride home from a flea market.
386
00:15:36,656 --> 00:15:38,148
Natalie!
387
00:15:38,442 --> 00:15:40,266
In here!
388
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:43,297
Do you like this dress?
389
00:15:43,382 --> 00:15:44,420
Tell me the truth.
390
00:15:44,505 --> 00:15:45,594
I love it.
391
00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:46,536
Are you sure?
392
00:15:46,621 --> 00:15:47,798
'Cause I'm so hopped up
on hormones,
393
00:15:47,882 --> 00:15:49,843
I don't know
who I am anymore.
394
00:15:50,025 --> 00:15:51,858
It's more flowers than usual.
395
00:15:52,054 --> 00:15:53,514
You hate it.
396
00:15:53,599 --> 00:15:56,147
I look like a funeral wreath
for a drag queen.
397
00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:59,855
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You really pull it off.
398
00:15:59,940 --> 00:16:01,796
I think so.
399
00:16:02,672 --> 00:16:04,764
How many more of these shots
are you getting?
400
00:16:04,849 --> 00:16:06,554
Oh, only two to go.
401
00:16:06,639 --> 00:16:08,032
Thank God.
402
00:16:10,429 --> 00:16:12,272
Wow! Look at you.
403
00:16:12,357 --> 00:16:14,188
What's that supposed to mean?
404
00:16:14,632 --> 00:16:16,262
Good luck.
405
00:16:18,324 --> 00:16:19,600
You all right?
406
00:16:19,685 --> 00:16:20,804
Yeah. Why?
407
00:16:21,305 --> 00:16:23,789
Well, this week
has been a little...
408
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,366
"I'm dating Judy Garland."
409
00:16:27,543 --> 00:16:29,763
Hey, you made me watch
that movie.
410
00:16:30,925 --> 00:16:32,663
You think I'm crazy?
411
00:16:33,921 --> 00:16:35,069
No.
412
00:16:35,154 --> 00:16:37,210
No. No, if anything,
413
00:16:37,295 --> 00:16:39,343
I think that,
not unlike Ms. Garland,
414
00:16:39,428 --> 00:16:40,874
you're-you're
under a lot of stress
415
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:43,733
that the-the world
doesn't know about.
416
00:16:45,468 --> 00:16:49,559
Man, that movie
really had an impact on me.
417
00:16:50,393 --> 00:16:52,004
I'm freezing my eggs.
418
00:16:53,561 --> 00:16:54,827
What?
419
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,153
I'm jammed full of hormones,
420
00:16:56,238 --> 00:16:58,373
and I'm out
of my ever-lovin' mind.
421
00:16:58,535 --> 00:16:59,713
Oh.
422
00:16:59,913 --> 00:17:02,108
Honey, why would you keep that
a secret?
423
00:17:02,835 --> 00:17:04,579
'Cause I thought if I told you,
424
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:06,835
you'd feel like I was trying
to push a kid on you,
425
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:10,507
you'd dump me and then I'd be
sitting here with no boyfriend,
426
00:17:10,592 --> 00:17:13,769
no baby and a fridge
full of Miracle Whip.
427
00:17:15,613 --> 00:17:17,136
Okay. Um...
428
00:17:17,428 --> 00:17:20,796
I'm gonna have to be extremely
careful with what I say here.
429
00:17:21,383 --> 00:17:23,127
I love you.
430
00:17:23,634 --> 00:17:24,999
Yeah, that's good.
431
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:26,769
Um...
432
00:17:26,971 --> 00:17:29,537
I was just... surprised.
433
00:17:29,647 --> 00:17:32,006
You know,
the-the baby stuff just...
434
00:17:32,556 --> 00:17:33,778
caught me
a little off guard.
435
00:17:33,894 --> 00:17:35,576
I know. I'm so sorry.
436
00:17:35,661 --> 00:17:36,881
No, it's okay.
437
00:17:36,966 --> 00:17:38,841
I see that this
is huge for you.
438
00:17:39,147 --> 00:17:40,444
You do?
439
00:17:40,715 --> 00:17:42,732
'Cause I was trying
to hide it.
440
00:17:43,539 --> 00:17:46,334
And you were doing
a masterful job.
441
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:47,803
Now, look,
442
00:17:47,888 --> 00:17:49,632
I can admit that I'm...
443
00:17:49,747 --> 00:17:51,317
probably not ready
to be a father.
444
00:17:51,402 --> 00:17:54,539
But... when I picture
my future,
445
00:17:55,279 --> 00:17:56,718
you're in it.
446
00:17:58,939 --> 00:18:01,290
I just want
to take our time,
447
00:18:01,451 --> 00:18:03,193
make sure
that we get it right.
448
00:18:05,201 --> 00:18:07,373
So you're fine with this
whole freezing eggs thing?
449
00:18:07,458 --> 00:18:09,115
Yeah, I think
it's a great idea.
450
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:10,897
I love you.
451
00:18:17,465 --> 00:18:20,022
I don't have
to freeze anything, do I?
452
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,084
No.
453
00:18:23,479 --> 00:18:25,875
Your stuff has the shelf life
of a Twinkie.Oh.
454
00:18:26,060 --> 00:18:27,272
Great.
455
00:18:37,557 --> 00:18:38,474
You know,
456
00:18:38,559 --> 00:18:39,650
when I heard "sugar scrub,"
457
00:18:39,735 --> 00:18:41,086
I thought it was crazy.
458
00:18:41,170 --> 00:18:43,001
But I am clean,
I am relaxed
459
00:18:43,085 --> 00:18:46,420
and I taste
like an Abba-Zaba bar.
460
00:18:48,896 --> 00:18:52,731
Jill, this is a great way
to celebrate Wendy's promotion.
461
00:18:52,897 --> 00:18:54,665
Eh, too bad we all thought
462
00:18:54,749 --> 00:18:57,492
it was somebody else's job
to invite her.
463
00:18:58,132 --> 00:18:59,890
I'll make it up to her.
464
00:18:59,975 --> 00:19:02,197
I would like to be a part
of whatever that is.
465
00:19:02,401 --> 00:19:04,015
I'm just gonna say two words.
466
00:19:04,387 --> 00:19:06,479
Disney cruise.
467
00:19:10,168 --> 00:19:11,732
It's my fertility doctor.
468
00:19:15,136 --> 00:19:16,529
Hi, Dr. Dubois.
469
00:19:17,815 --> 00:19:19,263
Uh-huh.
470
00:19:19,357 --> 00:19:20,560
Okay.
471
00:19:20,644 --> 00:19:22,345
Thanks for letting me know.
472
00:19:22,513 --> 00:19:23,935
Bye-bye.
473
00:19:24,020 --> 00:19:25,460
So?
474
00:19:25,693 --> 00:19:27,132
What's our egg count?
475
00:19:27,216 --> 00:19:28,332
Zero.
476
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:29,864
What?
477
00:19:30,949 --> 00:19:32,808
None of them
were viable.
478
00:19:34,027 --> 00:19:35,558
Oh.
479
00:19:35,643 --> 00:19:37,199
Jill, I'm sorry.
480
00:19:37,453 --> 00:19:39,848
"Are you okay?" is a
stupid question, but...
481
00:19:40,025 --> 00:19:41,418
are you?
482
00:19:42,479 --> 00:19:43,941
I don't know.
483
00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:46,410
I mean, I have come
at this baby thing
484
00:19:46,495 --> 00:19:47,412
from so many
different angles,
485
00:19:47,497 --> 00:19:49,763
and it's just
not happening.
486
00:19:49,978 --> 00:19:51,980
But you can try again.
487
00:19:52,415 --> 00:19:53,918
Maybe.
488
00:19:56,288 --> 00:19:57,996
You want to go home?
489
00:20:00,706 --> 00:20:02,465
No.
490
00:20:03,206 --> 00:20:05,473
I just want
to be with my friends.
491
00:20:05,606 --> 00:20:07,855
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
492
00:20:08,118 --> 00:20:10,558
Sync & corrections by srjanapala
34268
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