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1
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,029
*
2
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,209
CHRIS WALLACE: Good evening.
I welcome you to the third
3
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,577
and final of the 2016
presidential debates.
4
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:46,046
DONALD TRUMP: We either have
a country, or we don't.
5
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,615
HILLARY CLINTON: Rounding up
people who are undocumented...
6
00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:49,117
TRUMP:
We have some bad hombres here.
7
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,851
CLINTON: ...is an idea
that is not in keeping
8
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,786
-with who we are as a nation.
-TRUMP: I tell it like it is.
9
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,588
CLINTON: I'm happy to compare
my 30 years of experience...
10
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:55,856
TRUMP:
The one thing you have
11
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,691
over me is experience,
but it's bad experience.
12
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,593
We are going to make
America great again,
13
00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,562
and it has to start now.
14
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,231
CLINTON: I hope you will
give me a chance
15
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:04,965
to serve as your president.
16
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:07,067
FAITH: Donald Trump
told the American people
17
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,570
the truth tonight,
as he always does.
18
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:12,039
GARY: Hillary Clinton
is the real outsider.
19
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,308
Look, whatever you think
you saw tonight...
20
00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,377
You didn't.
You actually saw what I saw,
21
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,778
and I think that
the American people...
22
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:18,946
Would agree with me.
23
00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:20,814
As long as I say it
repeatedly, doggedly...
24
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:23,117
And with unearned confidence.
25
00:01:23,151 --> 00:01:25,286
I lie.
26
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:26,754
I am lying to you.
27
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:27,821
And you know I lie.
28
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,390
I'm actually in this position
29
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,925
because of how effectively
I lie to you.
30
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,060
Are we clear?
31
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,995
We call this the spin room,
without shame.
32
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:37,998
Spinning is something you do
to disorient people.
33
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:40,501
And you all know that,
and yet here we are.
34
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,403
What a wonderful play
we're putting on.
35
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:43,937
Thank you all so much.
36
00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:45,173
And fuck you, America.
37
00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:47,408
I look forward to lying to you
in the future.
38
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,676
See you at the bar.
39
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,944
-(reporters clamoring)
-Thank you.
40
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,951
-(explosive blast)
-(grunts)
41
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,963
*
42
00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,199
LESTER HOLT:
Shockwaves across America.
43
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,466
NORAH O'DONNELL:
His surprise victory
44
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:13,701
defied preelection polling.
45
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,102
JOHN HEILEMANN:
Tectonic-plate-shifting,
46
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,770
9.5 on the Richter scale
earthquake.
47
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,206
JOE SCARBOROUGH:
So that's just a snapshot
48
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:19,640
of the reaction
we're getting this morning.
49
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,108
And we're still trying to get
50
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,511
our good old pal Gary Zimmer
to talk to us.
51
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,513
MIKA BRZEZINSKI: He's probably
halfway to Canada by now.
52
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,315
SCARBOROUGH: Yeah,
maybe halfway to Canadian Club.
53
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,983
I'd love to ask this guy
what the hell he was thinking.
54
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,985
How did they blow
this election?
55
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:34,121
-(Brzezinski chuckles) -Hey,
guys, did you find the clip?
56
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,556
You got it? Okay.
57
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,325
This is our good friend
Gary Zimmer,
58
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:40,027
grand old consigliere
of the Clinton campaign,
59
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,996
not even a week ago
on this program.
60
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,832
-(whooshing sound effect)
-So, you're confident?
61
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:46,200
GARY (recorded):
Oh, no question.
62
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,735
Hillary's made her case.
63
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:50,804
She is the most qualified
presidential candidate,
64
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,373
certainly in my lifetime,
maybe ever.
65
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,242
BRZEZINSKI: Donald Trump
will not be president.
66
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,677
GARY: Well, he is
doing well in the South,
67
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,313
so maybe he can be president
of the Confederacy.
68
00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:01,582
BRZEZINSKI: But Ohio,
Michigan, Pennsylvania.
69
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,351
GARY: Mika, he's not winning
Pennsylvania.
70
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:04,885
He's not winning Michigan.
71
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:07,821
That rust belt blue wall
is impenetrable. It holds.
72
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,189
(Southern accent):
I guarantee.
73
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:10,758
BRZEZINSKI:
Well, you decided to spend
74
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,226
almost no time there
campaigning.
75
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,894
SCARBOROUGH:
Was that a Carville impression?
76
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:15,563
-(Brzezinski chuckles)
-All right, so wait a minute.
77
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,431
-Tommy, try Gary again.
-GARY (in room): Google, off.
78
00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:19,333
SCARBOROUGH: Okay, we have
Faith Brewster on the line...
79
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,601
GARY:
Hey, Google, off.
80
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,436
GOOGLE: Sorry. Power controls
is not yet supported.
81
00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:24,204
-(phone ringing)
-GARY: Phone lady, decline.
82
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,240
-PHONE: Try asking again in
a different way. -GARY: Ugh.
83
00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:28,609
Hang up. Hey, Google,
tell phone lady to hang up.
84
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,578
GOOGLE: Sorry, I'm not sure
how to help with that yet.
85
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,546
-GARY: Off, off! -PHONE: Sorry,
I'm still not sure about that.
86
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:33,947
GARY:
Hey, Google, disengage.
87
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,249
-GOOGLE: Songs aren't available
on SiriusXM. -Abort.
88
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:36,684
-PHONE: I'm not sure about
that. -Everybody, shut up!
89
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,852
-PHONE: Try asking again in
a different way. -(Gary grunts)
90
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,889
("Still the Same" by Bob Seger
playing)
91
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,640
* You always won
92
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,443
* Every time you placed a bet
93
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:07,247
* You're still damn good
94
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,251
* No one's gotten to you yet
95
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:15,923
* Every time
96
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:19,593
* They were sure
they had you caught *
97
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:23,263
* You were quicker
than they thought *
98
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:29,236
* You'd just turn your back
and walk *
99
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,473
* And you're still the same
100
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:35,242
* I caught up with you
yesterday *
101
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,811
* Still the same,
still the same *
102
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:39,847
* Moving game to game
103
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,518
* No one standing in your way
104
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:50,324
* Turning on the charm
long enough *
105
00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:51,992
* To get you by
106
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,827
* Still the same
107
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,095
* Still the same
108
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,465
* You're still the same
109
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:03,704
* You still aim high
110
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:11,912
* Still the same,
still the same *
111
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:19,553
(fading): * Still the same,
still the same. *
112
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,589
(birds chirping)
113
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,602
(scrubbing hands)
114
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,044
(water splashing)
115
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:48,816
* There's been a load
of compromisin' *
116
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:53,186
* On the road to my horizon
117
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:56,256
* But I'm gonna be
where the lights *
118
00:05:56,289 --> 00:06:00,360
* Are shinin' on me
119
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:03,764
* Like a rhinestone cowboy
120
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:10,738
* Riding out on a horse
in a star-spangled rodeo *
121
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:15,476
* Like a rhinestone cowboy
122
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:23,083
* Getting cards and letters
from people I don't even know *
123
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:29,757
* And offers comin'
over the phone. *
124
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,394
(song fades)
125
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:39,266
MAYOR BRAUN: So, if there is
no further discussion,
126
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:42,369
can I get a motion to vote
on Resolution 1217,
127
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,806
requiring a valid
Wisconsin driver's license
128
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,809
or proof of U.S. citizenship
to qualify
129
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:52,079
for any state or municipality
program or benefit,
130
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:55,916
such as food stamps, welfare
and so on and so forth.
131
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,117
PIETKOWSKI:
So moved.
132
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,251
-Second?
-MAN: Second.
133
00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:59,820
I have a second.
It is time...
134
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,755
-Excuse me, fellas.
-Jack, I already told you,
135
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,457
you can widen that easement
on Hamburg...
136
00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:05,793
Um, actually, it's about
137
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:08,261
that resolution
you're thinking about passing.
138
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:11,298
With all due respect, Colonel,
that discussion has ended.
139
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,966
Yeah, yeah. So I heard.
140
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,968
But, uh...
141
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:17,337
the thing is that, um...
142
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,339
it's a bad idea.
143
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:21,575
-Y-You can't...
-Uh, okay, well,
144
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,276
I already seconded,
but whatever.
145
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,445
JACK: I know we're in
a bad spot, but...
146
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:26,980
you can't bring it back
147
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:29,016
by throwing these people
under the bus.
148
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,685
Whoa, we're not throwing
anybody under anything, Jack.
149
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,453
(sighs)
Money was tight
150
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,923
when the base was still open,
but now...
151
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,925
I mean, we just
got to be smart.
152
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,827
We got to eliminate
cheating the programs.
153
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,429
There's not a damn soul
using those programs
154
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,297
that doesn't need 'em,
and you know it.
155
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:47,200
And all they need to do
is produce the acceptable I.D.,
156
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:48,536
and the benefits will be...
157
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,370
And you know
they can't do that.
158
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:53,173
Well... (sighs)
I don't make the rules, Jack.
159
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:57,010
I mean, I do, I guess.
160
00:07:57,044 --> 00:08:00,180
Not by myself, but...
this is over.
161
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,850
(grunts)
162
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:05,218
BRAUN: Okay, we have a motion
that has been seconded.
163
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:07,320
It is time to bring it
to a vote.
164
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,056
Uh, you know, uh,
just curious--
165
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,358
you know,
when the river backed up
166
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:13,293
and the folks
you think might be cheating
167
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,629
stood shoulder to shoulder
with us
168
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:19,299
stuffing sandbags
for three days straight,
169
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,369
ended up saving your store,
you check their I.D.'s then?
170
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:23,904
BRAUN:
Discussion's closed, Jack.
171
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,806
You checking I.D.'s
when they're bringing food
172
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,908
-to the church potlucks, Walt?
-(gavel slamming)
173
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,510
Enough, Jack.
174
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:32,179
You had your say.
175
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,749
(sets down gavel)
176
00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:37,851
Look, we got rules here,
177
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,553
but that don't make us
bad people.
178
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:41,889
I'm not saying
you're a bad person, Billy.
179
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,257
I'm saying you're scared.
180
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,493
Hell, we all are.
181
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:50,831
Damn town went from 15,000
to five overnight,
182
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,066
and business went with it.
183
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:56,737
We're not bringing it back
by... by turning on each other.
184
00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,406
Corps taught me the chain's
185
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,742
only as strong
as its weakest link.
186
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:04,712
And Father Heuvel here
187
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,947
taught me that I am
my brother's keeper.
188
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,749
GARY: Wait. Go back
to that "weak link" part.
189
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,051
Whatever you do for the least
of us, you do for the Lord.
190
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,252
-EVAN: Yeah, okay. Yeah.
-(mouse clicking)
191
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,054
I mean, could this guy work?
192
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,522
Corps taught me the chain's
193
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,625
only as strong
as its weakest link.
194
00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,359
Hmm. Pretty good.
195
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,729
-EVAN: Mm-hmm.
-JACK: And Father Heuvel here
196
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,064
taught me that I am
my brother's keeper.
197
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,867
Whatever you do for the least
of us, you do for the Lord.
198
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,302
GARY: Looks conservative,
sounds progressive.
199
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,905
-EVAN: Mm-hmm.
-JACK: The point is,
200
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:35,976
it's easy to be strong
of character in the good times.
201
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,545
The test is the bad times.
202
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,615
If you can't live
your principles then, well...
203
00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:44,785
I guess they aren't principles;
they're just hobbies.
204
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,554
Where is this again?
205
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,722
Wisconsin.
206
00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:50,924
Deerlaken.
207
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:53,627
-Deerlaken.
-Mm-hmm.
208
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:54,995
Gentlemen...
209
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,665
this square-jawed paragon
of Americana
210
00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:01,802
is our goddamn key
back into the forbidden city.
211
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,737
-Well, that's my stop. (laughs)
-Sit. Kurt, sit.
212
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,305
-Call me when he gets
to the point. -Nope.
213
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:06,473
You're not going anywhere.
No, sit.
214
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:07,675
And we have Alan to thank
215
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,677
for bringing this man
to our attention.
216
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,112
-It's Evan.
-Did I happen to mention that
217
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,147
he is a veteran of
the United States Marine Corps?
218
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,116
-OTHERS: Yes.
-And a farmer.
219
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:17,350
-Um... you did.
-MAN: I believe so.
220
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,952
And did I happen to mention
that he's a widower?
221
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:19,953
-Impressive.
-All right. Well done.
222
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,288
GARY:
A man who makes Joe the Plumber
223
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,856
look like Dukakis in mom jeans
224
00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,758
-and a fucking Easter bonnet...
-(laughter)
225
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,459
in the reddest of counties
226
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,629
-in the great now swing state
of Wisconsin... -Mm-hmm.
227
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:30,798
...is...
228
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,334
...a Democrat.
229
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,036
Uh, he's a Democrat?
230
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,437
Yeah.
231
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,439
He just doesn't know it yet.
232
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,608
Well, here's the idea:
I get on a plane,
233
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,444
and I go to Wisconsin,
and I use this guy
234
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,280
to road-test a more
rural-friendly message.
235
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:50,617
It's a mayoral race...
in the middle of nowhere.
236
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,519
Uh, I don't get
how this helps us.
237
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,988
There are two million rural
votes in these states alone.
238
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:57,124
If we lost them 2.7 to one
instead of three to one,
239
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,392
we'd win,
but we didn't even try.
240
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:00,961
Their base turned out.
Ours didn't.
241
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,964
If we find a candidate
to activate our base...
242
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,034
if our African Americans
243
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,235
(heavily accented):
and Latino communities...
244
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,302
It's just "Latino."
245
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,571
...show up, we win.
246
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,874
We have to get the rural voters
back into the tent,
247
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,075
even just a little bit.
248
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,744
Well, if it's all
the same to you,
249
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,045
I'll stick with pandering
250
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:22,215
to our special-interest groups,
thank you very much.
251
00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:26,553
GROUP (chanting):
SĂ, se puede. SĂ, se puede.
252
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:29,556
-SĂ, se... -I like the idea
of expanding our base.
253
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:32,459
Not taking any voter
for granted.
254
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,762
It does have some merit.
255
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,797
*
256
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,232
WOMAN: Good morning.
Gary Zimmer's office.
257
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,333
ASSISTANT:
Okay, so we'll make sure
258
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,769
a car comes here
and picks you up,
259
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,503
-and we'll make sure
the driver is Frank. -Okay.
260
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,905
Um, it's a two-hour flight,
261
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,573
but you'll gain an hour
when you get there.
262
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:49,209
-(sighs) What is that?
-The 7 Series.
263
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,779
It was the closest thing
they had to your Tesla, but...
264
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:53,847
Just take a Sharpie, and write
"liberal city douchebag"
265
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,115
on my forehead, okay?
266
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,616
-Come on, guys.
-Yeah.
267
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,118
Um, Accord?
268
00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,586
I'm traveling to America.
269
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,521
Explorer, neutral color.
270
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,023
And pack me like a conference.
271
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,191
Davos? TED?
272
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,759
Aspen, weekend package.
273
00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:07,227
-Thank you.
-Great.
274
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,561
Oh, and, guys, you know what?
275
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,197
Keep it simple.
276
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,364
Simple. No frills.
277
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,632
-Thank you.
-Got it. -Sure.
278
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:13,967
Great.
279
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,703
Although, if the Explorer
has a-a Bose
280
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,371
or a Bang & Olufsen
sound package,
281
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,240
if they have it...
(clicks tongue) it'd be good.
282
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,575
-Great.
-Gotcha.
283
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:24,878
Did they say anything
about catering?
284
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,313
Not yet.
285
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,881
Those little mozzarella balls
would be great.
286
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,316
-Yeah?
-Caprese salad.
287
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,784
-Something light. Balsamic.
-Yeah, just...
288
00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:32,085
Balsamic, all that jazz?
289
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:33,653
Cool.
290
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:38,658
Nothing.
291
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:39,893
-Cool.
-(Gary laughing)
292
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,295
That's fun.
293
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:44,497
(sighs)
294
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:45,799
SPORTSCASTER:
He'll flip the short pass.
295
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:47,634
Complete to Anderson.
He's at the 35.
296
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,069
He moves to the 30-yard line...
297
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,838
-Here you go, Mr. Zimmer.
-Oh, thank you.
298
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,305
NARRATOR (over TV):
Trailing by three points...
299
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,807
-Thanks.
-Mm-hmm.
300
00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:57,744
...with time running out,
the Packers roll 68 yards
301
00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:01,148
across the frozen field
and into legend.
302
00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:02,782
(dramatic music plays over TV)
303
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,284
SPORTSCASTER: He flips
the pass. It's complete.
304
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,186
To Chuck Mercein.
He's at the 25, the 20...
305
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,521
NARRATOR: With only
three minutes to play,
306
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:11,524
all the hopes and dreams
of an entire season
307
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,961
rested on the shoulders
of one man.
308
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:17,564
* Like a rhinestone cowboy
309
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,169
* Riding out on a horse
310
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:26,039
* In a star-spangled rodeo
311
00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:27,674
-* Like a rhine...
-(changes station)
312
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,109
TERRY GROSS:
This is "Fresh Air."
313
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,477
-I'm Terry Gross.
-(takes deep breath)
314
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:31,678
Richard Rodgers
and Oscar Hammerstein
315
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:33,813
had one of the most successful
316
00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:36,316
musical partnerships
of the 20th century.
317
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:39,286
TODD S. PURDUM: But I also
think it's-it's a canard
318
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,054
that Hammerstein
can't write funny songs.
319
00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:42,689
GROSS:
She's got a beautiful voice,
320
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,157
so let's hear her singing
321
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,658
"Everybody's
Got a Home but Me."
322
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,360
Will you set the scene for us
323
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:49,696
about where this song fits
into the show?
324
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,198
PURDUM:
Well, this young prostitute
325
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,000
has just arrived in Monterey...
326
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,403
(vehicle door opens, closes)
327
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,438
(indistinct chatter)
328
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:02,642
-(sighs)
-BARTENDER: Oh.
329
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,077
-Evening.
-Hey.
330
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:05,512
Hi. What can I get you?
331
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:08,481
Uh, how about
a Bud and a burger?
332
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,351
That sounds good.
333
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,653
-Thank you so much.
-Sure thing.
334
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,055
Coming up.
335
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,257
-Hey, Charlie.
-(knocking)
336
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,829
Tough day?
337
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,065
-A long day, traveling.
-Oh, yeah?
338
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,100
-Where from?
-Washington, D.C.
339
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:29,436
Man, I ain't been there since,
like, a school trip.
340
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,438
Can't even remember
how many years ago that was.
341
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,772
-It was 29. 29 years.
-Yeah?
342
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,175
-Was it? -29 years.
Ms. Heuvel's history class.
343
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,743
-That's what it was. Ms.
Heuvel's history class. -Yeah.
344
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,411
Security guards chased us out
of the Space Museum.
345
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,713
Yeah, well, we beat the dog
shit out of those other kids.
346
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:41,848
(laughter)
347
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,350
Well, you guys aren't
missing anything.
348
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,285
It is a nightmare down there.
349
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,120
-Huh. Yeah. (chuckles)
-Well, no argument there.
350
00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:49,189
-Yeah. You can say that again.
-Mm-hmm.
351
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,558
-Mike Staadt.
-Hey.
352
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,593
-We call him Big Mike.
-Yeah.
353
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:55,295
People call me Big Mike
for some reason.
354
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,064
Well, it's, uh, because...
to tell us apart.
355
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,232
Because I'm... my name's Mike,
too, but I'm Little Mike.
356
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,733
Hey. How are you? Gary.
357
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:02,869
-Nice to meet you.
-Gary, Gary.
358
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,205
Gary from D.C.
D.C. Gary.
359
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,207
BIG MIKE: He likes to give
everybody nicknames, so that's
360
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,042
why he's-he's giving you
a nickname right now, which...
361
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:10,944
-(chuckles) -It shows
friendship and affection.
362
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:13,080
-Okay, yeah, but he doesn't...
-If you don't like yours,
363
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,647
-I'll take it away.
-No, I'm fine with my nickname.
364
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:15,815
Well, I appreciate it,
Little Mike.
365
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:17,284
LITTLE MIKE:
Okay, thank you, D.C. Gary.
366
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:18,952
Hey, this is our new friend,
D.C. Gary.
367
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:20,653
-Hey. How are you?
-BARTENDER: Hey.
368
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,956
-Dave. -My name is Gary,
and I'm from D.C., so...
369
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:24,224
-that works.
-Well, welcome to Deerlaken.
370
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,960
-Thank you.
-Ever been to Wisconsin before?
371
00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:28,828
Uh, spent a fair amount of time
in Madison.
372
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:30,397
-So that's a no.
-(laughter)
373
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,931
-(chuckles)
-That's not Wisconsin.
374
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,434
Actually, I'm here to see
Jack Hastings. You know him?
375
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,569
-Oh, yeah. He's a great guy.
-Yeah, everybody knows Jack.
376
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:37,904
-The Colonel. Great guy.
-Semper fi.
377
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,339
-Yeah.
-DAVE: YouTube star.
378
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:42,009
We've got some rooms upstairs,
if you need.
379
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:44,311
-Sure. That sounds good.
-Tonya?
380
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:45,478
Yeah, baby.
381
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,114
This gentleman here
would like a room.
382
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,482
Oh, sure.
What do you need, hon?
383
00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:52,085
Uh, anything.
Any room is fine.
384
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:53,486
Okay.
385
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,989
If you have something
on a high floor
386
00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,790
with a king bed
and a coffee maker...
387
00:15:57,824 --> 00:15:59,692
Okay. Yeah, we... everything's
on the second floor.
388
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,294
-Perfect. -They're all
pretty much the same.
389
00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:03,430
-That's perfect. I'm easy.
-(Tonya chuckles)
390
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,632
-GARY: Anything's good.
-Take 206. It's the biggest.
391
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:06,966
-They're all unlocked.
-Okay.
392
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,901
Thank you so much, Tonya.
393
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,472
-LITTLE MIKE: Hey, so,
D.C. Gary. -Yeah.
394
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,041
You ever been
to the White House?
395
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,775
-I have.
-BIG MIKE: What's that like?
396
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,877
What's that like? It's a lot
smaller than you think.
397
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,312
-Thanks.
-What? -Really? -Yeah.
398
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,214
BIG MIKE: Yeah, 'cause we
didn't... I don't think we got
399
00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:22,382
by there on that student trip.
400
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,117
Must not have been built
at that point.
401
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,785
Oh, that looks delicious.
Thank you so much.
402
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,354
Do you have a bottle opener?
403
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,356
-That's a... no, that's just
a twist. -Bud, you just twist.
404
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:30,890
-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. -It's a twist-off.
405
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,125
I know. I know.
406
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,626
Maybe he does need
a bottle opener.
407
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,162
-Maybe use your-your vest.
-He's probably...
408
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,996
-Maybe a European grip.
-Ah, I got it. -(cap pops)
409
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,398
-There we go. -There we go.
-(cap clatters)
410
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:39,566
Cheers.
411
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,068
-Hey.
-Cheers. -Cheers.
412
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,735
-Cheers.
-Here's to you. -Cheers.
413
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,671
Budweiser.
414
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:47,707
Mmm. Mmm.
415
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,776
(sniffs) Mm-hmm.
416
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:55,115
You got to be kidding me.
417
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,223
(sighs):
Okay.
418
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,258
(clears throat, grunts)
419
00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:06,993
All right.
420
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,528
(straining):
All right.
421
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,263
It's fine, it's fine.
422
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:12,232
It's fine!
423
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,000
-All right.
-(door rattling)
424
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,869
And it's fucking locked.
425
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,338
Goddamn it.
426
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,507
Oh, shit.
427
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,610
Ah, fuck this.
428
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:26,413
(sighing):
Oh, Deerlaken.
429
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,248
Love it.
430
00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:33,286
(bed creaks)
431
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,226
(sighs):
Okay.
432
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:41,428
DAVE (over phone):
Everything all right?
433
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,896
Uh, hel... Yes? Hello?
434
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,532
-It's Dave.
-Yes?
435
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:46,966
From the Hofbrau House.
436
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,269
-From downstairs?
-Yes.
437
00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:51,138
-O-Okay.
-Everything all right?
438
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:54,807
Mm... yeah, I was just looking
for a Wi-Fi password.
439
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,476
Good luck.
440
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,145
Case-sensitive?
441
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,447
No, good luck getting Wi-Fi.
442
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,315
You're better off
using your phone.
443
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,384
-Okay.
-Okay.
444
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:05,818
All right, very good.
445
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:08,054
-Thank you.
-Sure.
446
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,690
-Goodbye.
-Night, Gar.
447
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,294
(hangs up phone)
448
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:20,133
(sighs)
449
00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:31,611
DAVE:
Everything all right?
450
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,683
(chuckles quietly)
451
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,718
*
452
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,061
MAN:
Hey, D.C. Gary!
453
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:52,932
Hey, Gary.
454
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,234
Hey.
455
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,669
Good morning, Gary.
456
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,605
Hey.
457
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,573
Okay.
458
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,845
-(gasps) Excuse me, Gary.
-Hi, Gary.
459
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:08,248
(panting):
All right.
460
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:12,719
ANN:
Well, hello, Gary.
461
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:16,022
The Mikes told me
that you're up from D.C.,
462
00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:17,857
and I figured that
you might be on the hunt
463
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,459
for some good caffeine.
(chuckles)
464
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,961
Yes. Um... sure.
465
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,363
May I have a...
466
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,565
-Coffee?
-A coffee.
467
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:26,733
Cream, two sugars.
468
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,135
Not how I like it, but good.
469
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,370
And i-if you don't mind, um,
470
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:32,339
when you head up to Jack's,
can you give him this?
471
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:33,873
Jack, uh, he gets
a little cranky
472
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,242
if he doesn't get his linzers.
473
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,377
(laughs)
Oh, and I-I, uh...
474
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:40,213
I put a little streusel
in there for you, too.
475
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:42,282
Just made it. Still warm.
476
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,018
Mmm. Okay.
477
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:48,054
Ah, no, no, no, no, no.
478
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:49,556
You're saving me a trip, so...
479
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,660
-(laughing): Okay.
-(Ann laughs)
480
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,695
Um, okay.
481
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,264
(chuckles) Okay.
482
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,767
Bye, Gary.
483
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,835
(laughing):
Okay. Bye.
484
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,437
ANN:
Have a good one.
485
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:07,374
GARY (laughing):
Thank you. You have a good one.
486
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,742
Hey, guys.
Have a good one.
487
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:12,512
-Hey, lady. Have a good one.
-(woman chuckles)
488
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:15,214
All right.
Is everybody having a good one?
489
00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:17,584
What the fuck?
490
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,619
*
491
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:24,223
(bag rustling)
492
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,397
Oh, my God.
493
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,399
Oh, fuck!
494
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:42,742
Oh!
495
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,210
Fuck me!
496
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,878
Oh, God.
497
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:48,315
(grunts, moans)
498
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,985
Mmm, mmm.
499
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:54,354
Mmm.
500
00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:06,232
(grunts)
501
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,767
Mmm.
502
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,602
(grunts)
503
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:15,575
(vehicle door opens, closes)
504
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,109
(horn beeps)
505
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,819
-(dogs barking)
-Shit! God! God!
506
00:21:26,853 --> 00:21:29,489
(grunting)
507
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:33,760
JACK:
Sunny! Muffin! Stand down!
508
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,128
Oh, hey.
509
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:39,031
You Ann's new delivery guy?
510
00:21:39,065 --> 00:21:40,667
(panting):
I'm sorry.
511
00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:42,769
Uh, I'll go back and get you
some more of those.
512
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,471
Oh, it's fine.
I'll probably end up
513
00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:46,473
giving them
most of them anyway.
514
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:48,675
(chuckling)
515
00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:50,877
Um... okay.
516
00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:52,211
Okay. (sighs)
517
00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:54,347
That's an angry labradoodle.
518
00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:58,618
Oh, really beautiful out here.
519
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,787
Really takes me back.
520
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,689
Oh, you a farm boy?
521
00:22:02,722 --> 00:22:04,691
Uh, uh, no.
522
00:22:04,724 --> 00:22:06,959
Political consultant.
523
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:08,395
-(hollers)
-(mooing)
524
00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:10,863
Well, sir, I saw your video
on the Internet--
525
00:22:10,897 --> 00:22:12,499
the town hall you busted up.
526
00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:14,534
-(hollers)
-Um...
527
00:22:14,567 --> 00:22:16,135
your comments
on the responsibility
528
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,237
to the least of us
moved me deeply.
529
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:20,740
-Grab a bucket.
-And I'll grab a bucket.
530
00:22:20,773 --> 00:22:22,742
And here they come. Okay.
531
00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:24,544
-I think, increasingly...
-(hollers)
532
00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:27,747
...we have lost the capacity
to see each other.
533
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:31,584
Empathy for those
that we don't resemble.
534
00:22:31,618 --> 00:22:33,319
Not to say partisanship
has no place,
535
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:36,022
but certainly not at the level
of toxicity
536
00:22:36,055 --> 00:22:38,290
that our current debate
incorporates.
537
00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:43,563
"No man left behind"
is your ethos as a Marine!
538
00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:46,699
I think it's especially
poignant this day and age!
539
00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:49,268
Your words spoke to values,
not identity.
540
00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:51,070
So important.
541
00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:01,481
(squishing)
542
00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,951
(groans)
543
00:23:04,984 --> 00:23:08,220
(grunts, exhales heavily)
544
00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:10,957
(groans)
545
00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:12,759
It was Abraham Lincoln
who said,
546
00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:14,627
"An appeal to
our better angels."
547
00:23:14,661 --> 00:23:16,663
(toilet flushes)
548
00:23:23,135 --> 00:23:24,971
You came out of there
pretty fast.
549
00:23:25,004 --> 00:23:26,673
Did you wash?
550
00:23:35,482 --> 00:23:38,250
(Gary takes deep breath)
551
00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:42,955
Okay.
552
00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:45,458
Here it is.
553
00:23:45,492 --> 00:23:48,127
I want you to be
the Democratic candidate
554
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,129
for mayor of Deerlaken.
555
00:23:51,964 --> 00:23:54,433
Now, I know you probably don't
think that you're a Democrat,
556
00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:57,403
but after watching your speech,
I can assure you that you are,
557
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,839
and I would like to offer
my company's services
558
00:23:59,872 --> 00:24:01,440
to help you do so.
559
00:24:08,548 --> 00:24:11,417
Well, I thank you.
560
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:12,985
You're welcome.
561
00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:14,921
You know,
thanks for the help today.
562
00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:16,623
My pleasure.
563
00:24:16,656 --> 00:24:20,092
But all things being equal,
564
00:24:20,126 --> 00:24:22,128
I'd rather not.
565
00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,834
All right.
566
00:24:27,867 --> 00:24:30,537
Can I be completely honest
with you?
567
00:24:30,570 --> 00:24:31,971
No bullshit.
568
00:24:32,004 --> 00:24:33,339
Be nice.
569
00:24:33,372 --> 00:24:35,007
My daughter's here.
570
00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:38,310
That was your daughter,
with her-her arm up the c-cow?
571
00:24:38,344 --> 00:24:40,046
Okay. Look...
572
00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:41,614
(Gary sighs)
573
00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:44,684
-Democrats are getting
their asses kicked. -Mm.
574
00:24:44,717 --> 00:24:49,221
Because guys like me don't know
how to talk to guys like you.
575
00:24:49,255 --> 00:24:52,158
I really believe that
you believe what I believe--
576
00:24:52,191 --> 00:24:55,227
that what is happening
in this town is wrong.
577
00:24:55,261 --> 00:24:57,864
What is happening
in this country is wrong.
578
00:24:57,897 --> 00:24:59,832
People are turning their backs
on each other.
579
00:24:59,866 --> 00:25:02,034
We are forgetting
that we need each other.
580
00:25:02,068 --> 00:25:03,903
What you said in your speech--
581
00:25:03,936 --> 00:25:05,572
strong as our weakest link.
582
00:25:05,605 --> 00:25:07,039
Do you mean that?
583
00:25:07,073 --> 00:25:08,808
Did you mean it
when you said that?
584
00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:12,078
Because if you did, I think
that you have an obligation
585
00:25:12,111 --> 00:25:14,380
to try to strengthen
those weak links.
586
00:25:14,413 --> 00:25:17,349
And you can do it.
You can do it.
587
00:25:17,383 --> 00:25:19,518
You can do it
in this sort of position.
588
00:25:19,552 --> 00:25:23,122
You can help strengthen
those... those weak links.
589
00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:27,526
You can achieve that.
590
00:25:30,797 --> 00:25:33,165
-Okay...
-(taps desk)
591
00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:34,567
All right.
592
00:25:34,601 --> 00:25:36,068
You know what?
593
00:25:37,236 --> 00:25:39,038
(sighs)
594
00:25:39,071 --> 00:25:42,609
All due respect, Colonel,
anybody can make a speech.
595
00:25:42,642 --> 00:25:44,577
The real test is
backing up your words.
596
00:25:44,611 --> 00:25:46,913
The things that you said
to those folks in that meeting,
597
00:25:46,946 --> 00:25:50,216
was that principle,
598
00:25:50,249 --> 00:25:52,251
or was that just a hobby?
599
00:25:54,253 --> 00:25:55,855
Let me know.
600
00:25:55,888 --> 00:25:58,691
Why does he need three guns?
601
00:25:58,725 --> 00:26:00,727
(door opens)
602
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,294
(door closes)
603
00:26:05,331 --> 00:26:07,333
*
604
00:26:21,347 --> 00:26:23,249
(rooster crows in distance)
605
00:26:23,282 --> 00:26:25,251
(gasps, groans)
606
00:26:25,284 --> 00:26:27,253
-(groaning): Oh, God.
-(laughs)
607
00:26:27,286 --> 00:26:30,222
-Shit. -I'm sorry if
I startled you, sunshine.
608
00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:31,624
(groans)
609
00:26:31,658 --> 00:26:33,559
Don't you people
believe in locks?
610
00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:37,163
Or privacy
or basic social contracts?
611
00:26:37,196 --> 00:26:38,931
Yeah, Tonya let me in.
612
00:26:38,965 --> 00:26:41,300
I told her I had
something important
613
00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:43,770
I needed to talk to you about.
614
00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:47,473
You'll do it?
615
00:26:47,506 --> 00:26:48,975
Under one condition.
616
00:26:49,008 --> 00:26:50,643
Great. Name it.
617
00:26:52,645 --> 00:26:54,647
You run the damn thing.
618
00:26:54,681 --> 00:26:56,148
I got the farm to worry about.
619
00:26:56,182 --> 00:26:57,984
Don't have any idea
how to even start.
620
00:26:58,017 --> 00:27:00,820
I will have one of my top guys
make himself available to you.
621
00:27:00,853 --> 00:27:02,321
No, no, that's not gonna do it.
622
00:27:02,354 --> 00:27:04,691
You.
623
00:27:04,724 --> 00:27:07,860
The deal is you run it
from here.
624
00:27:07,894 --> 00:27:09,762
I checked you out.
625
00:27:09,796 --> 00:27:12,064
You got one hell
of a portfolio.
626
00:27:14,233 --> 00:27:17,069
So, deal?
627
00:27:21,841 --> 00:27:23,843
GARY: I'd like
a big clump of the cows
628
00:27:23,876 --> 00:27:25,878
right here in the center.
629
00:27:27,413 --> 00:27:29,381
-Do you copy me?
-Yes, sir!
630
00:27:29,415 --> 00:27:32,184
Okay. If you can just
move 'em over that way.
631
00:27:32,218 --> 00:27:33,886
-Yep!
-Okay!
632
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,388
And if you could get
some of them to face front.
633
00:27:36,422 --> 00:27:37,857
(under breath):
Oh, my God.
634
00:27:37,890 --> 00:27:40,159
Hey there, Colonel.
635
00:27:40,192 --> 00:27:42,028
Gary.
636
00:27:42,061 --> 00:27:45,197
Bobby, thanks a million
for coming out here.
637
00:27:45,231 --> 00:27:46,665
I'll be certain to vote
for you.
638
00:27:46,699 --> 00:27:48,500
Thank y'all, folks, for coming.
639
00:27:48,534 --> 00:27:50,536
So, this is just
a quick kickoff.
640
00:27:50,569 --> 00:27:53,305
Let's make you look
a little more like Farmer Jack
641
00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:57,409
and less like Certified
Public Accountant Jack.
642
00:27:57,443 --> 00:27:59,645
-There you go.
-Uh, okay.
643
00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:01,047
Oh...
644
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:02,214
-Oh, no, no. That's okay.
-JACK: Quit it.
645
00:28:02,248 --> 00:28:03,315
-That's okay. Donny, right?
-Quit it.
646
00:28:03,349 --> 00:28:04,550
Michael.
647
00:28:04,583 --> 00:28:07,153
Michael, we can just
boom him, okay?
648
00:28:07,186 --> 00:28:08,487
The pole with the thing
on the end.
649
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:09,756
Do you do sound, Michael?
650
00:28:09,789 --> 00:28:11,190
-Chuck does sound.
-Okay.
651
00:28:11,223 --> 00:28:12,759
But he's at the lake
with his family.
652
00:28:12,792 --> 00:28:14,193
Okay, well, that's too bad
that he's not...
653
00:28:14,226 --> 00:28:15,862
-Eh, that's okay. That's okay.
We'll just go without. -No.
654
00:28:15,895 --> 00:28:17,696
-Thank you, Donny.
-Thank you, son. Thank you.
655
00:28:17,730 --> 00:28:18,998
Okay.
656
00:28:19,031 --> 00:28:20,332
Let's give it a try.
657
00:28:20,366 --> 00:28:21,734
There you are.
658
00:28:21,768 --> 00:28:23,535
Uh, this is...
659
00:28:23,569 --> 00:28:25,237
Why you are running for mayor.
660
00:28:26,272 --> 00:28:27,439
Wow.
661
00:28:27,473 --> 00:28:29,541
I quote Patton...
662
00:28:29,575 --> 00:28:30,877
and Jesus.
663
00:28:30,910 --> 00:28:32,078
Paraphrase.
664
00:28:32,111 --> 00:28:34,446
And you can't go to the prom
without a corsage.
665
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,415
(cows mooing)
666
00:28:36,448 --> 00:28:38,384
Let's make magic.
667
00:28:38,417 --> 00:28:41,120
All right.
Thank you for coming.
668
00:28:41,153 --> 00:28:43,122
Could we quiet the cows,
please?!
669
00:28:43,155 --> 00:28:45,024
Thank you!
670
00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:47,894
Ladies and gentlemen,
Colonel Jack Hastings.
671
00:28:52,098 --> 00:28:54,066
So, uh,
672
00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:57,469
I am Colonel Jack Hastings,
and...
673
00:28:57,503 --> 00:29:00,339
I'm running for mayor.
674
00:29:04,777 --> 00:29:07,279
So, uh...
675
00:29:07,313 --> 00:29:10,049
How we doing?
676
00:29:10,082 --> 00:29:12,618
All right.
Beautifully put.
677
00:29:13,853 --> 00:29:15,621
Are there any questions
for the Colonel?
678
00:29:15,654 --> 00:29:17,089
Anyone?
679
00:29:18,791 --> 00:29:20,759
Bueller?
680
00:29:20,793 --> 00:29:22,428
Uh, yes, Colonel.
681
00:29:22,461 --> 00:29:24,096
Yes, name and affiliation,
please.
682
00:29:24,130 --> 00:29:26,632
-It's Dan.
-Name and affiliation, please.
683
00:29:26,665 --> 00:29:28,467
I'm Dan.
684
00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:30,069
Go ahead, Daniel.
685
00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:31,470
Easy on the cows!
686
00:29:31,503 --> 00:29:33,639
Um, yes, Mr. Hastings,
uh, Colonel,
687
00:29:33,672 --> 00:29:35,074
could you say that again?
688
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:37,276
Because I-I don't think
my recorder was on.
689
00:29:39,145 --> 00:29:40,947
Mm. Do it again?
690
00:29:40,980 --> 00:29:42,514
GARY:
Hey, you know what?
691
00:29:42,548 --> 00:29:43,782
It's okay.
692
00:29:43,816 --> 00:29:45,017
-GARY: Now...
-We'll get it.
693
00:29:45,051 --> 00:29:47,119
GARY:
Okay, this one...
694
00:29:47,153 --> 00:29:49,321
What I'm looking for--
695
00:29:49,355 --> 00:29:52,191
don't put all the black ones
in the center.
696
00:29:52,224 --> 00:29:55,094
He's running as a moderate,
okay?
697
00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:57,329
And if you could get some
facing this way,
698
00:29:57,363 --> 00:29:58,865
that would be helpful.
699
00:29:58,898 --> 00:30:00,799
More local news tonight
out of Deerlaken.
700
00:30:00,833 --> 00:30:02,268
Former Marine Colonel
Jack Hastings
701
00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:04,470
announcing today
that he's running for mayor
702
00:30:04,503 --> 00:30:06,005
as a Democrat.
703
00:30:06,038 --> 00:30:07,940
While Braun may have
an incumbent's advantage,
704
00:30:07,974 --> 00:30:09,375
political insiders say Hastings
705
00:30:09,408 --> 00:30:11,443
is likely to give him
a run for his money.
706
00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:12,845
Happening now, a major...
707
00:30:12,879 --> 00:30:15,614
JACK: Well, how much
is this gonna cost?
708
00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:17,884
GARY:
You let me worry about that.
709
00:30:17,917 --> 00:30:19,952
What I need from you
are people, volunteers.
710
00:30:19,986 --> 00:30:21,453
We got a lot of legwork
711
00:30:21,487 --> 00:30:23,722
if we're gonna make a noise
in this thing.
712
00:30:23,755 --> 00:30:25,391
-More coffee?
-Oh, I'm good.
713
00:30:25,424 --> 00:30:27,126
No, I'm good, Lizzie.
Thanks.
714
00:30:27,159 --> 00:30:28,827
You know what I do need?
715
00:30:28,861 --> 00:30:31,563
I need a couple buckets
of that gravy
716
00:30:31,597 --> 00:30:33,933
so I can take a bath in it.
717
00:30:35,001 --> 00:30:37,203
So good.
718
00:30:37,236 --> 00:30:38,370
Delicious.
719
00:30:38,404 --> 00:30:39,872
(takes deep breath)
720
00:30:39,906 --> 00:30:42,141
My compliments to the chef.
721
00:30:42,174 --> 00:30:43,209
I'll let Ziggy know.
722
00:30:43,242 --> 00:30:44,476
Great.
723
00:30:44,510 --> 00:30:45,811
That ought to cheer him up.
724
00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:48,180
JACK:
Just the check, Lizzie.
725
00:30:48,214 --> 00:30:50,182
Will do, Jack.
726
00:30:50,216 --> 00:30:53,019
GARY: What's the deal
with the happy chef?
727
00:30:53,052 --> 00:30:55,021
JACK:
Oh, Ziggy's all right.
728
00:30:55,054 --> 00:30:57,023
-Oh?
-He owns the place.
729
00:30:57,056 --> 00:30:59,558
Eh, he may be a bit peeved
about the election thing.
730
00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:02,261
He's Mayor Braun's brother.
731
00:31:02,294 --> 00:31:05,397
Why isn't this place
called Braun's?
732
00:31:05,431 --> 00:31:10,436
The Hansens owned this place
since probably... Korea.
733
00:31:10,469 --> 00:31:13,339
Bobby Hansen started it,
his kids ran it for years,
734
00:31:13,372 --> 00:31:16,375
and had to sell
once the base closed,
735
00:31:16,408 --> 00:31:20,246
but no matter who owns it,
it'll always be Hansen's.
736
00:31:20,279 --> 00:31:23,182
Base closing
really hammered this place.
737
00:31:23,215 --> 00:31:24,951
Yeah, it did.
738
00:31:24,984 --> 00:31:28,020
More than half of
our storefronts have shut down.
739
00:31:28,054 --> 00:31:29,788
In fact, we're losing
our high school
740
00:31:29,821 --> 00:31:31,924
if we can't come up
with the funding.
741
00:31:31,958 --> 00:31:36,428
But no matter what folks
might wish for here,
742
00:31:36,462 --> 00:31:38,230
it ain't coming back.
743
00:31:38,264 --> 00:31:40,432
"Vote for Jack Hastings,
744
00:31:40,466 --> 00:31:42,101
"'cause no matter
what you wish for,
745
00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:44,636
-it ain't never coming back."
-(chuckling)
746
00:31:44,670 --> 00:31:46,272
-I like it. It's good.
-Well...
747
00:31:46,305 --> 00:31:48,640
-I'm not gonna lie to people.
-No, I know. I know.
748
00:31:48,674 --> 00:31:51,577
I was just being witty
and cynical.
749
00:31:51,610 --> 00:31:54,080
Can't win a battle
if you're not honest
750
00:31:54,113 --> 00:31:56,448
about what you're
really up against.
751
00:31:56,482 --> 00:31:58,050
No, you cannot.
752
00:31:58,084 --> 00:31:59,651
(footsteps approaching)
753
00:31:59,685 --> 00:32:01,988
LIZZIE:
Not enough for a bath,
754
00:32:02,021 --> 00:32:04,156
but you can get
a good foot soak in.
755
00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:06,993
GARY:
Thank you.
756
00:32:07,026 --> 00:32:09,695
-A straw.
-(chuckling)
757
00:32:11,697 --> 00:32:13,099
-(claps) -GARY: All right,
let's bring it in.
758
00:32:13,132 --> 00:32:14,900
Everybody in. Ah...
759
00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:16,802
-phone bank!
-OTHERS: Phone bank.
760
00:32:16,835 --> 00:32:18,237
Well, you'll get it next time.
761
00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:20,006
Okay, I want you to be upbeat.
762
00:32:20,039 --> 00:32:21,673
I want you to be positive.
763
00:32:21,707 --> 00:32:24,176
Active participation
is what we're looking for.
764
00:32:24,210 --> 00:32:26,078
Would they volunteer?
Would they donate?
765
00:32:26,112 --> 00:32:27,946
Can we drop off a lawn sign?
766
00:32:27,980 --> 00:32:29,915
-Would they donate?
-(laughs)
767
00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:31,650
Would they donate?
768
00:32:31,683 --> 00:32:34,120
Yes, write that down.
That's good.
769
00:32:34,153 --> 00:32:36,288
Got some sample scripts
for you there.
770
00:32:36,322 --> 00:32:38,024
Contact list there.
771
00:32:38,057 --> 00:32:39,558
To the ramparts!
772
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,129
That means go. You can begin.
773
00:32:43,162 --> 00:32:44,830
-Oh.
-Now...
774
00:32:44,863 --> 00:32:46,698
you guys are my "A" team.
775
00:32:46,732 --> 00:32:49,201
So, first, we're going to take
these lawn signs,
776
00:32:49,235 --> 00:32:52,104
and we're going to put them
in all available public spaces.
777
00:32:52,138 --> 00:32:54,140
I want them visible
but not obnoxiously so.
778
00:32:54,173 --> 00:32:57,343
Isn't it a little early
for lawn signs?
779
00:32:59,145 --> 00:33:01,047
DIANA:
I'm sorry. She just, um...
780
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:02,448
'Cause just around here,
781
00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:04,183
sometimes people
aren't so keen...
782
00:33:04,216 --> 00:33:06,518
-Mm-hmm.
-But then, I do appreciate
783
00:33:06,552 --> 00:33:08,287
that you got the signs made.
784
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,156
-Mm-hmm. -GARY: I mean,
we've always used lawn signs.
785
00:33:10,189 --> 00:33:12,358
-Yeah. -They've worked
for hundreds of years, so...
786
00:33:12,391 --> 00:33:14,060
-Great.
-Yeah, let's just use 'em.
787
00:33:14,093 --> 00:33:16,062
Great. All right, Ann?
788
00:33:16,095 --> 00:33:18,064
-Hmm? Okay. -I want you
to take the downtown area.
789
00:33:18,097 --> 00:33:20,566
Martha, Dave, how about
everything west of 39?
790
00:33:20,599 --> 00:33:22,634
-(phones ringing) -And, Diana,
I'd like you to stay here...
791
00:33:22,668 --> 00:33:24,170
-Hello?
-MAN: Yeah?
792
00:33:24,203 --> 00:33:25,804
-...to do...
-Good morning.
793
00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:27,473
Hi. This is Matthew,
and I'm a volunteer
794
00:33:27,506 --> 00:33:28,707
-calling with Jack...
-WOMAN: Matthew?
795
00:33:28,740 --> 00:33:29,875
-Matt... Matthew...
-Hello?
796
00:33:29,908 --> 00:33:31,643
-Hello?
-(overlapping chatter)
797
00:33:31,677 --> 00:33:33,245
-What are you doing?
-(laughter)
798
00:33:33,279 --> 00:33:35,347
-Zimmer. -MICHAEL:
Good morning, Mr. Zimmer.
799
00:33:35,381 --> 00:33:37,916
My name is Michael, calling
on behalf of Colonel Hastings.
800
00:33:37,949 --> 00:33:40,219
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
801
00:33:40,252 --> 00:33:41,720
All right, this is
what's happening here.
802
00:33:41,753 --> 00:33:43,989
You're calling off
the office contact list.
803
00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:45,557
This is the voter contact list.
804
00:33:45,591 --> 00:33:47,559
-Oh. -(laughter)
-GARY: So, yeah, I know.
805
00:33:47,593 --> 00:33:50,362
I want you to call
the voter contact list.
806
00:33:50,396 --> 00:33:51,997
We're already voting
for the Colonel.
807
00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:53,565
Okay? Good.
808
00:33:53,599 --> 00:33:55,267
Let's go do the signs, too.
809
00:33:55,301 --> 00:33:56,768
-(indistinct chatter)
-GARY: Oh, my God.
810
00:33:56,802 --> 00:33:59,037
Keep doing that, guys.
811
00:33:59,071 --> 00:34:01,073
(gas pump sputtering,
meter dinging steadily)
812
00:34:06,778 --> 00:34:09,281
Gar! Hey, D.C. Gary!
813
00:34:09,315 --> 00:34:12,284
-Hi.
-Hey, Gar, come on over.
814
00:34:12,318 --> 00:34:14,553
Okay. All right.
815
00:34:14,586 --> 00:34:16,222
-Nothing, nothing, nothing.
-(others muttering)
816
00:34:16,255 --> 00:34:17,889
Uh, that's a six.
That is a five.
817
00:34:17,923 --> 00:34:19,191
And a four. Look at that.
818
00:34:19,225 --> 00:34:20,526
-And a seven.
-Oh, my... Oh!
819
00:34:20,559 --> 00:34:22,261
-(bangs table)
-I'm keeping it, baby!
820
00:34:22,294 --> 00:34:24,363
-Ah!
-Hey, everybody.
821
00:34:24,396 --> 00:34:25,964
-Hey.
-This is D.C. Gary.
822
00:34:25,997 --> 00:34:28,234
He's staying above the Hofbrau.
823
00:34:28,267 --> 00:34:29,568
-Hey.
-GARY: Good to see you.
824
00:34:29,601 --> 00:34:30,569
Welcome to
The Ambassador's Lounge.
825
00:34:30,602 --> 00:34:31,970
Thank you very much.
826
00:34:32,003 --> 00:34:33,372
Hear you're in town
helping the Colonel.
827
00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:34,940
-Yes, I am.
-He's a good man.
828
00:34:34,973 --> 00:34:36,642
He is. He is a good man.
829
00:34:36,675 --> 00:34:39,211
So, is this your
campaign office here?
830
00:34:39,245 --> 00:34:41,280
-(laughter)
-This?
831
00:34:41,313 --> 00:34:43,449
No, this is
The Ambassador's Lounge,
832
00:34:43,482 --> 00:34:47,119
an elite, uh, social club of
the area's top entrepreneurs,
833
00:34:47,153 --> 00:34:49,621
-athletes and raconteurs.
-Ah.
834
00:34:49,655 --> 00:34:51,257
-It's a shithole.
-(laughter)
835
00:34:51,290 --> 00:34:52,558
BIG MIKE:
Hey, guys.
836
00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:54,660
Jack's already got lawn signs
printed up. (chuckles)
837
00:34:58,697 --> 00:35:01,099
Well, I got to head out.
838
00:35:01,133 --> 00:35:03,001
Got a lot of work
to catch up on.
839
00:35:03,034 --> 00:35:04,436
Pleasure meeting everybody.
840
00:35:04,470 --> 00:35:06,272
BRAUN: Hey, Father,
you want to go with him?
841
00:35:06,305 --> 00:35:07,739
He might need a miracle or two.
842
00:35:07,773 --> 00:35:09,641
This town hasn't had
a Democrat mayor
843
00:35:09,675 --> 00:35:11,843
since La Follette
ruled these parts, and...
844
00:35:11,877 --> 00:35:14,513
hasn't had a Democratic Party
since the '70s.
845
00:35:14,546 --> 00:35:15,981
-(laughter)
-Gonna take a little bit more
846
00:35:16,014 --> 00:35:17,783
than lawn signs.
847
00:35:18,884 --> 00:35:20,452
Okay.
848
00:35:22,621 --> 00:35:24,022
(bell dings)
849
00:35:28,227 --> 00:35:30,429
NARRATOR:
Colonel Jack Hastings.
850
00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:32,130
Tempered by war.
851
00:35:32,164 --> 00:35:35,133
Chain's only as strong
as its weakest link.
852
00:35:35,167 --> 00:35:37,336
NARRATOR:
Driven by faith.
853
00:35:37,369 --> 00:35:39,471
I am my brother's keeper.
854
00:35:39,505 --> 00:35:41,707
NARRATOR:
A new kind of Democrat.
855
00:35:41,740 --> 00:35:44,443
A Democrat for the heartland.
856
00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:48,046
Jack Hastings,
a redder kind of blue.
857
00:35:48,079 --> 00:35:50,349
ANNOUNCER: Paid for
by Real Americans for...
858
00:35:50,382 --> 00:35:53,018
FAITH:
What are you up to, Zimmer?
859
00:35:53,051 --> 00:35:56,054
I am telling you guys,
Jack could be the real deal,
860
00:35:56,087 --> 00:35:57,623
on a national level.
861
00:35:57,656 --> 00:35:58,957
KURT (chuckles):
On a national level?
862
00:35:58,990 --> 00:36:01,860
It's like he's a cross
between...
863
00:36:01,893 --> 00:36:04,896
-MacArthur and elk jerky.
-Wait, what?
864
00:36:04,930 --> 00:36:07,333
And one of those machines
that test grip strength.
865
00:36:07,366 --> 00:36:09,235
Sounds too good to be true.
866
00:36:09,268 --> 00:36:11,036
GARY:
Oh, my God.
867
00:36:11,069 --> 00:36:13,405
Semicolon. (laughs)
868
00:36:13,439 --> 00:36:15,574
She took the bait.
869
00:36:15,607 --> 00:36:18,176
It's on here, boys.
Game on.
870
00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:22,881
-And let him be the star,
you know? -Yeah.
871
00:36:22,914 --> 00:36:24,316
-(laughter)
-Yep. -So...
872
00:36:24,350 --> 00:36:27,185
GARY: * A little bit
of Hastings all the time *
873
00:36:27,219 --> 00:36:29,888
* We're gonna win election,
yeah, yeah, yeah. *
874
00:36:29,921 --> 00:36:32,258
-Oh, yeah. Oh, here I am.
-(Diana chuckles)
875
00:36:32,291 --> 00:36:34,260
(chuckles):
Yes. Hello, party people.
876
00:36:34,293 --> 00:36:37,195
Oh, 'tis a beautiful day
to be alive
877
00:36:37,229 --> 00:36:38,864
and on the vanguard of change.
878
00:36:38,897 --> 00:36:40,899
Who wants something to eat?
879
00:36:40,932 --> 00:36:42,268
They're so delicious.
880
00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:47,172
Okay.
881
00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:48,540
What's going on?
882
00:36:48,574 --> 00:36:50,542
Why all the long faces?
883
00:36:50,576 --> 00:36:51,777
Did you not see it?
884
00:36:51,810 --> 00:36:54,246
The billboard.
885
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:57,716
The one on Main with the giant
"Vote for Mayor Braun"?
886
00:36:57,749 --> 00:36:59,217
-Yes.
-What about it?
887
00:36:59,251 --> 00:37:00,886
(scoffs) "What about it?"
888
00:37:00,919 --> 00:37:02,754
That's the
Macgregor Ford billboard.
889
00:37:02,788 --> 00:37:04,290
Okay.
890
00:37:04,323 --> 00:37:05,857
Okay, so it's been
the Macgregor Ford billboard
891
00:37:05,891 --> 00:37:07,092
for probably 40 years.
892
00:37:07,125 --> 00:37:08,560
God only knows
how much it cost.
893
00:37:08,594 --> 00:37:11,096
And it looks like Braun has
taken over Jerry's old office
894
00:37:11,129 --> 00:37:12,698
as some sort of
campaign headquarters.
895
00:37:12,731 --> 00:37:14,800
Wait a second. Wait a second.
Hold on. Hold on.
896
00:37:14,833 --> 00:37:17,303
Um, are you telling me
that the mayor,
897
00:37:17,336 --> 00:37:19,305
who's running for reelection,
898
00:37:19,338 --> 00:37:23,375
has decided to advertise
his campaign for mayor?
899
00:37:23,409 --> 00:37:26,878
And he's doing it from a...
campaign office?
900
00:37:26,912 --> 00:37:29,281
Oh, my God!
Oh, I... This is...
901
00:37:29,315 --> 00:37:31,283
This is overwhelming to me.
902
00:37:31,317 --> 00:37:32,584
(laughing):
Oh, my God.
903
00:37:32,618 --> 00:37:33,985
I don't... I...
904
00:37:34,019 --> 00:37:35,053
What... (stammering)
905
00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:36,722
I have the vapors. I...
906
00:37:36,755 --> 00:37:37,789
I'm hyperventilating.
907
00:37:37,823 --> 00:37:40,058
Why are these spoons
just standing there?
908
00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:41,460
You don't get it.
909
00:37:41,493 --> 00:37:42,828
(laughing)
910
00:37:42,861 --> 00:37:44,596
-Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
-(laughs)
911
00:37:44,630 --> 00:37:46,332
You don't get it.
912
00:37:46,365 --> 00:37:48,400
Do you have any idea
how much that costs?
913
00:37:48,434 --> 00:37:50,235
Well, that space
is 3,800 square feet,
914
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,771
and it runs for
$20 a square foot yearly.
915
00:37:52,804 --> 00:37:56,007
Prorated to two months
is $7,600.
916
00:37:56,041 --> 00:37:59,110
The billboard, a little bit
harder to decipher.
917
00:37:59,144 --> 00:38:01,246
But I'd say,
based on the location
918
00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:04,483
and Mayor Braun's desperation,
8K all-in.
919
00:38:04,516 --> 00:38:06,117
Design and printing included.
920
00:38:06,151 --> 00:38:08,520
I don't know,
maybe something like that.
921
00:38:08,554 --> 00:38:11,122
Well, there's no way that
Braun's got that much money.
922
00:38:11,156 --> 00:38:14,159
Unless... this little
campaign of ours
923
00:38:14,192 --> 00:38:17,496
has caught the attention of
the national Republican Party
924
00:38:17,529 --> 00:38:20,466
and they are sending money
and reinforcements.
925
00:38:20,499 --> 00:38:22,200
-(quiet gasping)
-It's okay.
926
00:38:22,233 --> 00:38:25,136
It's exactly what
we wanted to happen.
927
00:38:26,237 --> 00:38:28,106
They are scared.
928
00:38:28,139 --> 00:38:30,476
On a national level,
929
00:38:30,509 --> 00:38:33,579
they are scared
of Colonel Jack.
930
00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:37,783
So we have to plan
our next move.
931
00:38:37,816 --> 00:38:39,150
Come here.
932
00:38:40,352 --> 00:38:41,820
Gather round.
933
00:38:41,853 --> 00:38:44,055
We're going to need...
934
00:38:44,089 --> 00:38:46,658
something a little like...
935
00:38:46,692 --> 00:38:48,694
-that.
-(others gasping)
936
00:38:50,095 --> 00:38:51,897
-WOMAN (chuckling): Wow.
-(quiet murmuring)
937
00:38:54,099 --> 00:38:55,467
GARY:
And you scroll down.
938
00:38:55,501 --> 00:38:57,335
DIANA:
There's a "donate" button.
939
00:38:57,369 --> 00:39:00,672
Well, the money be
just one clicky away.
940
00:39:00,706 --> 00:39:03,575
And one clicky goes to where?
941
00:39:03,609 --> 00:39:04,976
Our website.
942
00:39:05,010 --> 00:39:07,413
(chuckling):
Oh, we don't have a web...
943
00:39:09,615 --> 00:39:11,016
(chuckling):
Oh, wow.
944
00:39:11,049 --> 00:39:13,485
-MAN: Awesome.
-(laughter, murmuring)
945
00:39:13,519 --> 00:39:15,253
GARY:
Good slogan, right?
946
00:39:15,286 --> 00:39:17,155
You were one step ahead
the whole time.
947
00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:19,525
Well, three or four,
but thank you very much.
948
00:39:19,558 --> 00:39:20,859
I will take that.
949
00:39:20,892 --> 00:39:22,428
Oh, wow.
950
00:39:22,461 --> 00:39:24,463
*
951
00:39:38,644 --> 00:39:40,646
(sighs)
952
00:39:48,587 --> 00:39:50,321
Mmm.
953
00:39:51,957 --> 00:39:53,959
Mmm.
954
00:39:53,992 --> 00:39:56,462
Know how I knew you were here?
955
00:39:56,495 --> 00:39:58,497
Your pussy tingled.
956
00:39:59,665 --> 00:40:01,900
Semicolon on the billboard.
957
00:40:01,933 --> 00:40:05,036
Classic Faith Brewster
over-punctuation.
958
00:40:05,070 --> 00:40:07,739
Look, Zim,
y'all punched your ticket
959
00:40:07,773 --> 00:40:11,777
on a changing demographic, and
now whitey don't want you back.
960
00:40:11,810 --> 00:40:15,581
Okay, Jeb, exclamation point.
961
00:40:15,614 --> 00:40:17,649
Why are you here?
962
00:40:17,683 --> 00:40:19,785
Because I enjoy
demoralizing you.
963
00:40:19,818 --> 00:40:22,253
Because crushing the last
piece of hope in your eyes
964
00:40:22,287 --> 00:40:23,555
really gets me off.
965
00:40:23,589 --> 00:40:25,591
(clicks tongue, inhales deeply)
966
00:40:25,624 --> 00:40:28,660
(sighing):
You are a twisted fuck, Faith.
967
00:40:28,694 --> 00:40:30,929
And you don't know Jack.
968
00:40:30,962 --> 00:40:32,831
Please don't tell me that is
969
00:40:32,864 --> 00:40:35,501
the campaign slogan
you came up with.
970
00:40:37,803 --> 00:40:40,105
This guy, Zim,
he's not the last Jedi,
971
00:40:40,138 --> 00:40:42,007
and even if he were,
I'd still crush him
972
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,642
because that's what I do.
973
00:40:43,675 --> 00:40:45,611
You realize, in that analogy,
you're Darth Vader.
974
00:40:45,644 --> 00:40:47,613
-Whatever you say, nerd.
-(chuckles)
975
00:40:47,646 --> 00:40:49,114
-It's good to see you.
-Yeah.
976
00:40:49,147 --> 00:40:50,982
-You look fat.
-(laughs)
977
00:40:54,352 --> 00:40:56,154
FAITH:
Hmm.
978
00:40:56,187 --> 00:40:57,589
Divine, Ann.
979
00:40:57,623 --> 00:41:00,125
-You have to tell me
your secret sometime. -Mm.
980
00:41:02,994 --> 00:41:04,563
I would never tell you.
981
00:41:05,631 --> 00:41:07,633
I'll never tell her.
982
00:41:07,666 --> 00:41:09,868
-Cream, two sugars. (laughs)
-Oh.
983
00:41:09,901 --> 00:41:12,037
-No, that's not how I take it.
-I know, but...
984
00:41:12,070 --> 00:41:13,805
Um, and here-here's
some streusel I made for you,
985
00:41:13,839 --> 00:41:15,541
-and, um, it's still warm.
-No, no, no, no, Ann, I can't.
986
00:41:15,574 --> 00:41:17,142
-And then these are cookies
I made for you. -I can't.
987
00:41:17,175 --> 00:41:18,376
-I'm getting fat.
I can't do that. -They're...
988
00:41:18,409 --> 00:41:19,477
-They're called the Garys,
though. -Thank you.
989
00:41:19,511 --> 00:41:20,712
-I made these...
-I know. I appreciate it.
990
00:41:20,746 --> 00:41:21,713
-Thank you. Okay.
-Yeah. Okay.
991
00:41:21,747 --> 00:41:22,814
-Okay, bye-bye.
-All right, then.
992
00:41:22,848 --> 00:41:23,849
Thank you. All right, then.
993
00:41:23,882 --> 00:41:25,150
-Bye-bye. Have a good day.
-Okay.
994
00:41:25,183 --> 00:41:27,018
-Up all night for nothing.
-(door closes, opens)
995
00:41:27,052 --> 00:41:28,720
-Coming back. There you go.
-All right, just today.
996
00:41:28,754 --> 00:41:30,188
-Okay. (laughs)
-Yeah. Thank you.
997
00:41:30,221 --> 00:41:31,523
Bye-bye, now. Bye-bye.
998
00:41:31,557 --> 00:41:32,958
Bye, Gar.
999
00:41:32,991 --> 00:41:34,626
(door closes)
1000
00:41:34,660 --> 00:41:36,194
GARY:
Have a good one.
1001
00:41:36,227 --> 00:41:38,329
(sighs)
1002
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,742
(closes drawer)
1003
00:41:52,844 --> 00:41:55,080
-Okay, good night.
-GARY: Oh, hey.
1004
00:41:55,113 --> 00:41:57,182
Good night. I didn't know
anybody else was here.
1005
00:41:57,215 --> 00:41:58,483
I just wanted to make sure
1006
00:41:58,516 --> 00:42:00,218
everything was set
for tomorrow.
1007
00:42:00,251 --> 00:42:02,554
I was just finishing up
these pamphlets on immigration.
1008
00:42:02,588 --> 00:42:03,922
Ooh. (chuckles)
1009
00:42:03,955 --> 00:42:05,557
That sounds complicated.
1010
00:42:05,591 --> 00:42:07,192
I hope the small minds
can manage.
1011
00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:10,596
(sighs)
I'm sorry about that.
1012
00:42:10,629 --> 00:42:13,331
Sometimes,
messaging for the base
1013
00:42:13,364 --> 00:42:16,568
doesn't resonate
with the broader electorate.
1014
00:42:17,636 --> 00:42:20,105
Oh, okay.
1015
00:42:20,138 --> 00:42:24,643
So, to flatter them,
you have to condescend to us.
1016
00:42:25,944 --> 00:42:28,113
I get it.
1017
00:42:28,146 --> 00:42:30,949
Uh, no, no, that wasn't...
1018
00:42:30,982 --> 00:42:33,218
that wasn't what...
1019
00:42:38,123 --> 00:42:40,125
Sorry.
1020
00:42:41,827 --> 00:42:43,595
How's your dad doing?
1021
00:42:43,629 --> 00:42:45,463
Is he okay? Nervous?
1022
00:42:45,496 --> 00:42:47,565
No. (chuckles)
1023
00:42:47,599 --> 00:42:50,268
No? Well, why would he be?
He's been through a war.
1024
00:42:50,301 --> 00:42:51,870
He's not gonna sweat
a fish fry.
1025
00:42:51,903 --> 00:42:54,139
-No, he doesn't really
get nervous. -Mm-mm.
1026
00:42:54,172 --> 00:42:56,074
Just quiet.
1027
00:42:57,108 --> 00:42:58,910
Right.
1028
00:43:03,615 --> 00:43:05,583
Runs in the family.
1029
00:43:05,617 --> 00:43:07,018
(chuckles softly)
1030
00:43:09,420 --> 00:43:12,991
-Maybe.
-Oh. (laughing)
1031
00:43:14,025 --> 00:43:15,593
Yes, my, uh...
1032
00:43:15,627 --> 00:43:19,597
my mom was really
more of the talker.
1033
00:43:19,631 --> 00:43:22,267
She was...
(inhales deeply)
1034
00:43:23,802 --> 00:43:26,471
You ever know anyone
that just lit up a room?
1035
00:43:29,140 --> 00:43:30,575
Mm-hmm.
1036
00:43:30,608 --> 00:43:32,077
Well, she was that.
(laughs)
1037
00:43:32,110 --> 00:43:33,679
Yeah.
1038
00:43:33,712 --> 00:43:35,446
-She sounds great.
-Yeah.
1039
00:43:37,015 --> 00:43:39,985
So, why did your dad
get involved with all this?
1040
00:43:40,018 --> 00:43:42,921
I mean, why speak
at that meeting?
1041
00:43:42,954 --> 00:43:47,292
Why run when it involves
talking and people?
1042
00:43:47,325 --> 00:43:49,094
(Diana chuckles)
1043
00:43:49,127 --> 00:43:52,597
I think he just loves
this town.
1044
00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:56,501
You know, I think he'd do
anything to save it.
1045
00:43:56,534 --> 00:43:58,670
What about you?
1046
00:43:58,704 --> 00:44:01,606
(chuckles)
1047
00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:04,309
Uh, I guess I would do
1048
00:44:04,342 --> 00:44:07,813
just about anything
to save him.
1049
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,149
(chuckles)
1050
00:44:12,818 --> 00:44:15,153
-(polka music playing)
-(lively chatter)
1051
00:44:16,354 --> 00:44:19,190
(food sizzling)
1052
00:44:19,224 --> 00:44:21,159
Okay. You have a good day, now.
1053
00:44:21,192 --> 00:44:22,894
JACK:
I'll just take one.
1054
00:44:25,496 --> 00:44:27,065
Hey. How are you this evening?
1055
00:44:27,098 --> 00:44:29,634
Pamphlet?
Vote for Colonel Jack.
1056
00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:31,737
Colonel Jack pamphlet.
1057
00:44:31,770 --> 00:44:33,471
Vote for Colonel Jack.
1058
00:44:33,504 --> 00:44:35,540
(indistinct chatter)
1059
00:44:35,573 --> 00:44:37,142
How are y'all doing?
1060
00:44:37,175 --> 00:44:38,576
...incredible database.
1061
00:44:38,609 --> 00:44:40,311
-Yeah. -And all your
information is in there.
1062
00:44:40,345 --> 00:44:42,513
(indistinct chatter continues)
1063
00:44:49,587 --> 00:44:51,689
Hey, Gary. Sorry I'm late.
1064
00:44:51,723 --> 00:44:53,992
I was just waiting for these
to get finished.
1065
00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:55,727
Beer Koozies might be
a little more helpful
1066
00:44:55,761 --> 00:44:57,095
than just the pamphlets.
1067
00:44:58,563 --> 00:45:00,866
FAITH: And this is
actually very simple.
1068
00:45:00,899 --> 00:45:03,201
You just type in
your family's name...
1069
00:45:03,234 --> 00:45:05,403
DIANA:
How big is that booth?
1070
00:45:08,373 --> 00:45:09,741
-Faith.
-Gary.
1071
00:45:09,775 --> 00:45:12,377
You seem to be doing
a brisk business.
1072
00:45:12,410 --> 00:45:14,045
"Deerlaken: always."
1073
00:45:14,079 --> 00:45:16,047
So, apparently,
1074
00:45:16,081 --> 00:45:18,216
"Deerlaken ĂĽber alles"
was copyrighted?
1075
00:45:18,249 --> 00:45:20,085
Well, we were gonna go with
"I'm with him"
1076
00:45:20,118 --> 00:45:21,787
until we remembered
how fucking stupid it sounded.
1077
00:45:21,820 --> 00:45:23,388
No, no, no, no.
I love it.
1078
00:45:23,421 --> 00:45:25,623
I love the whole
town genealogy angle.
1079
00:45:25,656 --> 00:45:27,458
It's got a real bold
1080
00:45:27,492 --> 00:45:29,460
"you ain't from around here"
flavor.
1081
00:45:29,494 --> 00:45:31,429
-(laughs)
-With subtle notes of,
1082
00:45:31,462 --> 00:45:33,198
-uh, xenophobia.
-(laughs)
1083
00:45:33,231 --> 00:45:35,133
Not to mention
the cognitive dissonance
1084
00:45:35,166 --> 00:45:37,602
that your booth is basically
a love letter to immigration.
1085
00:45:37,635 --> 00:45:38,870
That's a great observation.
1086
00:45:38,904 --> 00:45:40,605
So all these people
are hypocrites?
1087
00:45:40,638 --> 00:45:42,440
-I'd run with that.
-All you have is fear.
1088
00:45:42,473 --> 00:45:43,775
-Now we're getting somewhere.
-(giggles)
1089
00:45:43,809 --> 00:45:45,543
20 bucks says
I do better with fear
1090
00:45:45,576 --> 00:45:46,778
than you do with shame.
1091
00:45:46,812 --> 00:45:47,879
-Oh.
-MICHAEL: Okay.
1092
00:45:47,913 --> 00:45:49,280
It's all set, Miss Brewster.
1093
00:45:49,314 --> 00:45:51,216
(gasps)
Thank you, sweetie.
1094
00:45:51,249 --> 00:45:53,551
GARY:
Well, well, well.
1095
00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:55,453
I'm really sorry, Mr. Z.
1096
00:45:55,486 --> 00:45:57,555
I like working
with you guys, but...
1097
00:45:57,588 --> 00:45:59,724
I'm saving up for a car,
and she's paying us.
1098
00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:01,426
(mocking):
"Eh, she's paying us."
1099
00:46:01,459 --> 00:46:05,763
Wow, way to stand up for
what you believe in there...
1100
00:46:05,797 --> 00:46:08,233
-M... Michael.
-It's Michael.
1101
00:46:08,266 --> 00:46:10,101
-Michael. I know his name is
Michael. -His name is Michael.
1102
00:46:10,135 --> 00:46:11,469
-No, you don't.
-I know it.
1103
00:46:11,502 --> 00:46:13,504
-I was pausing for effect,
Michael. -It's okay, Michael.
1104
00:46:13,538 --> 00:46:16,307
-Character is destiny, Michael.
-Oh, don't listen to him.
1105
00:46:16,341 --> 00:46:18,276
-Character is destiny.
-He's a jerk. Oof.
1106
00:46:18,309 --> 00:46:19,744
Good burn.
1107
00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:21,612
Jack has lived here
for 30 years.
1108
00:46:21,646 --> 00:46:23,414
You really think
you can run a campaign
1109
00:46:23,448 --> 00:46:25,416
that paints him
as a carpetbagger?
1110
00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:27,953
Probably not, but I think I can
run one that says you are.
1111
00:46:27,986 --> 00:46:29,554
-MAN: Beer Koozie?
-Oh, my God.
1112
00:46:30,989 --> 00:46:33,358
Oh. Hastings Koozie?
1113
00:46:33,391 --> 00:46:35,460
-Yeah.
-Touché.
1114
00:46:35,493 --> 00:46:36,794
That's right.
That's in our booth.
1115
00:46:36,828 --> 00:46:38,763
-What do you think of that?
-MAN: Yeah, I'll take one.
1116
00:46:38,796 --> 00:46:40,966
What do you think of that
right there?
1117
00:46:40,999 --> 00:46:43,334
-Boom, boom. What do you
think of that? -(gasps)
1118
00:46:43,368 --> 00:46:45,170
-I don't...
-DOT: Oh.
1119
00:46:45,203 --> 00:46:47,238
Sorry. Not you, Dot.
1120
00:46:48,673 --> 00:46:50,641
-DIANA: Hi.
-(sighing): Oh, Dot.
1121
00:46:50,675 --> 00:46:53,044
-(polka music continues)
-(lively chatter)
1122
00:46:55,346 --> 00:46:56,982
(laughing softly)
1123
00:46:57,015 --> 00:46:58,816
Oh. (chuckles)
1124
00:46:58,850 --> 00:47:00,852
*
1125
00:47:08,393 --> 00:47:10,495
DIANA:
Oh. (chuckles)
1126
00:47:10,528 --> 00:47:12,397
(sighs, chuckles)
1127
00:47:19,037 --> 00:47:20,771
(chuckling)
1128
00:47:22,540 --> 00:47:24,075
Whoa.
1129
00:47:25,610 --> 00:47:27,612
(Diana laughing)
1130
00:47:40,625 --> 00:47:42,393
GARY:
We're not doing this.
1131
00:47:42,427 --> 00:47:43,728
What?
1132
00:47:43,761 --> 00:47:45,530
GARY:
Ugh.
1133
00:47:45,563 --> 00:47:48,533
-You go through my stuff?
-(papers rustling)
1134
00:47:50,035 --> 00:47:51,937
Why here?
You have your own room.
1135
00:47:51,970 --> 00:47:53,738
I don't want to smoke alone.
1136
00:47:53,771 --> 00:47:55,106
Oh, come on. Are...
1137
00:47:55,140 --> 00:47:56,607
Really?
1138
00:47:56,641 --> 00:47:58,243
(Faith laughs)
1139
00:47:58,276 --> 00:48:01,412
Gary, I'm bored.
1140
00:48:01,446 --> 00:48:03,514
Please, can we just forget it?
1141
00:48:03,548 --> 00:48:04,715
You've made your point.
1142
00:48:04,749 --> 00:48:06,284
There's Democrats
with calloused hands.
1143
00:48:06,317 --> 00:48:09,054
Gonna bode very well
for the midterms, I promise.
1144
00:48:09,087 --> 00:48:10,755
Now, can we just all go back
to Washington
1145
00:48:10,788 --> 00:48:12,958
and forget that we ever
made camp in a place
1146
00:48:12,991 --> 00:48:15,726
where the shit you skim
off milk is considered a food?
1147
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:18,196
They are called cheese curds,
and they are delicious.
1148
00:48:18,229 --> 00:48:19,230
They're disgusting.
1149
00:48:19,264 --> 00:48:21,199
And you can't make poutine
without them.
1150
00:48:21,232 --> 00:48:22,900
-Come on. Please.
-Go.
1151
00:48:22,934 --> 00:48:24,802
You can go.
You don't have to be here.
1152
00:48:24,835 --> 00:48:26,437
I made these people a promise.
1153
00:48:26,471 --> 00:48:27,872
I'm a good person.
1154
00:48:27,905 --> 00:48:29,207
It's your last chance, Zim.
1155
00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:30,908
I'm gonna make
a big deal of this.
1156
00:48:30,942 --> 00:48:33,444
Tons of press, lots of money.
You're gonna lose,
1157
00:48:33,478 --> 00:48:35,413
and then you're gonna look
like a giant asshole.
1158
00:48:35,446 --> 00:48:36,982
Good. That's what I want.
1159
00:48:37,015 --> 00:48:40,718
Not the asshole but for you
to make a big deal of this.
1160
00:48:40,751 --> 00:48:43,121
I want it to be a big deal.
It is a big deal.
1161
00:48:43,154 --> 00:48:44,889
Well, let's make it
interesting.
1162
00:48:44,922 --> 00:48:46,291
Okay, why don't we?
1163
00:48:46,324 --> 00:48:49,494
The loser has to eat the
winner's pussy out for an hour.
1164
00:48:49,527 --> 00:48:53,164
You better grab a big old bib,
'cause it's chow time.
1165
00:48:53,198 --> 00:48:54,599
(snickers)
1166
00:48:54,632 --> 00:48:56,101
Dick chow time.
1167
00:48:56,134 --> 00:48:57,969
'Cause I'm gonna win,
1168
00:48:58,003 --> 00:49:00,771
-and you're gonna have to eat
my dick for an hour. -Wha...
1169
00:49:00,805 --> 00:49:02,340
GARY (in distance):
And you know something?
1170
00:49:02,373 --> 00:49:04,442
That's a long time,
dick-eating-wise.
1171
00:49:04,475 --> 00:49:05,676
(door closes)
1172
00:49:06,711 --> 00:49:08,946
A long time!
1173
00:49:08,980 --> 00:49:11,016
To eat my dick.
1174
00:49:12,350 --> 00:49:15,120
(intense music playing)
1175
00:49:15,153 --> 00:49:16,954
NARRATOR:
In a dangerous world
1176
00:49:16,988 --> 00:49:18,623
-gone mad...
-(roaring)
1177
00:49:18,656 --> 00:49:20,992
we need emotionally stable
leadership.
1178
00:49:21,026 --> 00:49:23,161
(distorted, maniacal laughing)
1179
00:49:23,194 --> 00:49:25,630
Only Mayor Braun
is stable enough
1180
00:49:25,663 --> 00:49:27,999
to keep Deerlaken safe,
1181
00:49:28,033 --> 00:49:30,435
to keep Deerlaken Deerlaken.
1182
00:49:30,468 --> 00:49:32,037
(laughing)
1183
00:49:32,070 --> 00:49:33,838
I got you.
1184
00:49:33,871 --> 00:49:36,841
I'm Mayor Braun,
and I approve this message.
1185
00:49:36,874 --> 00:49:38,209
Here.
1186
00:49:38,243 --> 00:49:40,378
ANNOUNCER: Paid for by
Traditional Wisconsin Families
1187
00:49:40,411 --> 00:49:41,946
for Faith and Freedom.
1188
00:49:41,979 --> 00:49:44,682
-(phones ringing)
-(indistinct chatter)
1189
00:49:44,715 --> 00:49:46,817
FAITH: They've taken the office
just across from mine.
1190
00:49:46,851 --> 00:49:48,053
They're definitely ramping up,
1191
00:49:48,086 --> 00:49:50,221
so I'm gonna need
the full crew.
1192
00:49:50,255 --> 00:49:53,224
If Zimmer wants to take a stand
in Turdsville, USA,
1193
00:49:53,258 --> 00:49:55,026
I say we bury him here.
1194
00:49:55,060 --> 00:49:56,461
Sorry.
1195
00:49:56,494 --> 00:49:57,862
Not a turd.
1196
00:49:57,895 --> 00:49:59,630
Heart and soul of America.
1197
00:49:59,664 --> 00:50:01,566
Get me the nerdy guy
from analytics.
1198
00:50:01,599 --> 00:50:04,169
-MAN (on phone): Who's that?
-I don't know his name.
1199
00:50:04,202 --> 00:50:06,037
He wears glasses and plaid.
1200
00:50:06,071 --> 00:50:08,173
-Has a very complicated beard.
-Which one?
1201
00:50:08,206 --> 00:50:11,309
FAITH: How the fuck does that
not narrow it down? I...
1202
00:50:11,342 --> 00:50:13,678
-God fucking damn it.
-What?
1203
00:50:13,711 --> 00:50:16,214
And send me everyone
by yesterday.
1204
00:50:16,247 --> 00:50:17,882
(over phone):
I'll get on it.
1205
00:50:17,915 --> 00:50:19,350
-(slams phone on table)
-(exhales)
1206
00:50:30,261 --> 00:50:31,962
GARY:
Sor... Hey, Dot.
1207
00:50:34,732 --> 00:50:36,167
-ANN: Gary.
-KURT: Hey, big guy?
1208
00:50:36,201 --> 00:50:38,203
-Yes.
-We got a problem.
1209
00:50:39,604 --> 00:50:41,005
What's up?
1210
00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:43,174
Having trouble
rounding up focus groups?
1211
00:50:43,208 --> 00:50:44,409
No.
1212
00:50:44,442 --> 00:50:45,910
-(dial-up modem
droning, beeping) -Shh.
1213
00:50:49,147 --> 00:50:51,282
KURT (scoffs):
I don't even know what to say.
1214
00:50:51,316 --> 00:50:53,718
Hey, hey, everybody.
1215
00:50:53,751 --> 00:50:56,421
Do we know why we have dial-up
in this space?
1216
00:50:56,454 --> 00:50:57,755
MAN:
Duffy had it upgraded
1217
00:50:57,788 --> 00:50:59,524
right before
he closed the shop.
1218
00:50:59,557 --> 00:51:00,558
Upgraded from what?
1219
00:51:01,892 --> 00:51:03,894
-Nothing.
-Well, is there any way
1220
00:51:03,928 --> 00:51:06,097
we can piggyback Wi-Fi
from someplace?
1221
00:51:06,131 --> 00:51:08,599
Uh, there's a place where the
kids go and they do homework
1222
00:51:08,633 --> 00:51:09,900
and they play games
and whatnot.
1223
00:51:09,934 --> 00:51:12,403
-I know the password.
-GARY: Okay.
1224
00:51:12,437 --> 00:51:14,539
-Solving problems.
-ANN: Nice!
1225
00:51:14,572 --> 00:51:16,574
(typing)
1226
00:51:20,445 --> 00:51:21,812
(knocking on window)
1227
00:51:21,846 --> 00:51:23,848
(Gary sighs)
1228
00:51:25,816 --> 00:51:29,754
Listen, I... I don't think
you're allowed to be here
1229
00:51:29,787 --> 00:51:32,890
unless you're on official
school business, so...
1230
00:51:32,923 --> 00:51:35,393
Okay, look, uh, Officer...
1231
00:51:35,426 --> 00:51:37,262
-Tommy.
-Officer Tommy.
1232
00:51:37,295 --> 00:51:40,064
Um, we are with
the Hastings campaign,
1233
00:51:40,097 --> 00:51:42,433
and we're trying to get
some work done here.
1234
00:51:42,467 --> 00:51:44,068
It's sort of time-sensitive.
1235
00:51:44,101 --> 00:51:47,104
So... um, okay, here we go.
1236
00:51:47,138 --> 00:51:49,073
Here is a pen.
1237
00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:51,176
-Okay.
-And...
1238
00:51:51,209 --> 00:51:53,511
-one of these beer thingies.
-KURT: Koozie.
1239
00:51:53,544 --> 00:51:56,314
Koozie, and, uh...
1240
00:51:56,347 --> 00:51:58,616
thank you for your service.
1241
00:52:04,121 --> 00:52:06,123
(typing continues)
1242
00:52:11,829 --> 00:52:14,399
-(knocking on window)
-Oh, for God sakes.
1243
00:52:15,866 --> 00:52:19,003
Hello, boys.
1244
00:52:19,036 --> 00:52:20,805
(muffled):
Gentlemen, these are children!
1245
00:52:20,838 --> 00:52:22,440
-DIANA: Hey. -Hi.
-Children!
1246
00:52:22,473 --> 00:52:25,042
-Great job, guys. -And do you
know what that looked like?
1247
00:52:25,075 --> 00:52:26,777
Sitting in your car?
1248
00:52:26,811 --> 00:52:28,879
A bunch of boys
on the computer?
1249
00:52:30,147 --> 00:52:32,750
(clapping)
1250
00:52:35,186 --> 00:52:37,355
No, no, no. Thank you.
1251
00:52:37,388 --> 00:52:40,458
So, I see they sprung you
from detention, huh?
1252
00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:42,126
Yeah, apparently,
small-town hospitality
1253
00:52:42,159 --> 00:52:44,195
doesn't apply to Wi-Fi.
1254
00:52:44,229 --> 00:52:45,896
They're not too keen
on strangers staking out
1255
00:52:45,930 --> 00:52:47,965
a school parking lot--
you know, kids and all.
1256
00:52:47,998 --> 00:52:49,667
Yeah, in hindsight,
that makes complete sense.
1257
00:52:49,700 --> 00:52:51,001
JACK:
Mm-hmm.
1258
00:52:51,035 --> 00:52:53,003
Guys, could I talk to you
for a sec?
1259
00:52:53,037 --> 00:52:54,171
-Yeah.
-My office.
1260
00:52:54,205 --> 00:52:56,173
Come on in. Have a seat.
1261
00:52:56,207 --> 00:52:57,975
You can leave the door open.
1262
00:52:58,008 --> 00:52:59,710
-Here's the deal.
-(claps)
1263
00:52:59,744 --> 00:53:02,179
Our opponents are pumping
way more into this
1264
00:53:02,213 --> 00:53:04,081
than I ever expected them to.
1265
00:53:04,114 --> 00:53:07,151
-DIANA: Huh. -This rinky-dink
stuff is not gonna fly.
1266
00:53:07,184 --> 00:53:09,186
We need to up
our fundraising game.
1267
00:53:09,220 --> 00:53:11,155
Okay. That's...
1268
00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:13,924
Sure. Do you want to do, uh,
like, a street fair or...?
1269
00:53:13,958 --> 00:53:15,926
-That's a good idea.
-(Gary chuckles)
1270
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:17,428
No, it's not a good idea.
1271
00:53:17,462 --> 00:53:19,564
Don't... No, we're not
gonna do that.
1272
00:53:19,597 --> 00:53:21,666
Have you ever been to New York?
1273
00:53:21,699 --> 00:53:23,568
(dial-up modem droning)
1274
00:53:25,236 --> 00:53:27,372
Oh, my God, please unplug it.
1275
00:53:27,405 --> 00:53:29,006
Please unplug it.
1276
00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:30,375
(droning continues)
1277
00:53:30,408 --> 00:53:32,410
Unplug it!
1278
00:53:32,443 --> 00:53:34,178
(food crunching)
1279
00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:36,581
GARY: I'm just looking
at the guest list here.
1280
00:53:36,614 --> 00:53:38,949
Great. Great turnout.
1281
00:53:38,983 --> 00:53:41,619
Especially considering
the short notice.
1282
00:53:41,652 --> 00:53:43,187
Really good.
1283
00:53:43,220 --> 00:53:44,589
(exhales slowly)
1284
00:53:44,622 --> 00:53:47,392
Mmm. You ever have
one of those?
1285
00:53:49,594 --> 00:53:51,562
Yeah, green beans.
1286
00:53:51,596 --> 00:53:53,063
Haricot vert.
1287
00:53:53,097 --> 00:53:54,399
(green bean crunching)
1288
00:53:54,432 --> 00:53:57,468
Isn't that French
for "green beans"?
1289
00:53:57,502 --> 00:54:00,104
These are more delicate.
1290
00:54:00,137 --> 00:54:01,772
Thinner, more flavorful.
1291
00:54:04,842 --> 00:54:07,512
-I didn't know
you spoke French. -Mm.
1292
00:54:10,315 --> 00:54:11,916
Would you like something?
1293
00:54:11,949 --> 00:54:14,084
No, no.
1294
00:54:15,453 --> 00:54:17,254
(crunching)
1295
00:54:17,288 --> 00:54:19,290
This too loud?
1296
00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:24,995
(clears throat quietly)
1297
00:54:26,331 --> 00:54:28,533
(grunting softly)
1298
00:54:32,303 --> 00:54:33,971
(swallows)
1299
00:54:34,004 --> 00:54:36,040
(grunting)
1300
00:54:42,847 --> 00:54:44,349
(coughs quietly)
1301
00:54:49,987 --> 00:54:51,422
-(elevator bell dings)
-Richard and Ginnie Peeler
1302
00:54:51,456 --> 00:54:52,423
are hosting.
1303
00:54:52,457 --> 00:54:53,991
He's a hedge fund swell.
1304
00:54:54,024 --> 00:54:56,193
She's been saving the Hudson
for about 25 years.
1305
00:54:56,226 --> 00:54:58,028
Richard Peeler. Yeah?
1306
00:54:58,062 --> 00:54:59,697
Got it.
1307
00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:03,801
Are you, like, 12?
1308
00:55:05,503 --> 00:55:07,171
-(both chuckle)
-(elevator bell dings)
1309
00:55:07,204 --> 00:55:09,273
RICHARD: It's not only that
the sand traps are deeper,
1310
00:55:09,306 --> 00:55:11,376
but the quality
of the sand at...
1311
00:55:11,409 --> 00:55:13,043
Excuse me. Gary! Hey.
1312
00:55:13,077 --> 00:55:15,179
Dick Peeler.
1313
00:55:15,212 --> 00:55:17,682
RICHARD:
Gary, thank you for coming.
1314
00:55:17,715 --> 00:55:19,784
GARY: Oh, my pleasure.
Thanks for having us.
1315
00:55:19,817 --> 00:55:21,285
RICHARD: Well, we're
really, really excited.
1316
00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:23,454
GARY:
We're excited. Jack! Jack!
1317
00:55:23,488 --> 00:55:25,055
I'd like you to meet
Richard Peeler.
1318
00:55:25,089 --> 00:55:26,290
-What an honor.
-Colonel Jack Hastings.
1319
00:55:26,323 --> 00:55:27,992
-Oh.
-Very nice to meet you.
1320
00:55:28,025 --> 00:55:29,960
-Thank you for... having us.
-Oh, it's really an honor.
1321
00:55:29,994 --> 00:55:32,029
-And, uh...
-Yeah.
1322
00:55:32,062 --> 00:55:34,665
No, it's, uh, you know,
the authentic thing here.
1323
00:55:34,699 --> 00:55:36,300
I see that. It's amazing.
1324
00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:38,068
Uh, can I get you
something to drink?
1325
00:55:38,102 --> 00:55:39,637
Sure. What would you like?
1326
00:55:39,670 --> 00:55:42,807
Uh, I'd like a little, uh, tea.
1327
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:44,742
Chamomile if you have it.
1328
00:55:44,775 --> 00:55:46,210
(laughs) All right.
1329
00:55:46,243 --> 00:55:47,578
That's fine.
You want a Scotch.
1330
00:55:47,612 --> 00:55:48,946
-Yes, please.
-Yes, I know that.
1331
00:55:51,882 --> 00:55:54,952
(indistinct conversations)
1332
00:55:56,721 --> 00:55:58,489
MAN:
He's a criminal.
1333
00:55:58,523 --> 00:55:59,857
Oh, thank you.
1334
00:55:59,890 --> 00:56:01,191
He's a criminal.
1335
00:56:01,225 --> 00:56:02,660
Trust me,
I've done deals with him.
1336
00:56:02,693 --> 00:56:04,361
WOMAN:
Our democracy is falling apart.
1337
00:56:04,395 --> 00:56:05,596
We're gonna lose it.
1338
00:56:05,630 --> 00:56:07,331
Tom Friedman had a great line.
1339
00:56:07,364 --> 00:56:09,500
MAN: I like to say he's
the Bitcoin of presidents.
1340
00:56:09,534 --> 00:56:11,402
WOMAN: Her whole dress line
was made in China.
1341
00:56:11,436 --> 00:56:13,337
WOMAN:
The man is mentally ill.
1342
00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:14,739
MAN:
Fuckface von Clownstick.
1343
00:56:14,772 --> 00:56:16,507
MAN:
I'm mad? We should all be mad.
1344
00:56:16,541 --> 00:56:19,043
MAN: I mean, what kind
of person hunts elephants?
1345
00:56:19,076 --> 00:56:21,378
And there's not a whole lot
of the, um...
1346
00:56:21,412 --> 00:56:22,780
What did you call that?
1347
00:56:22,813 --> 00:56:24,749
-Uh, farm-to-table.
-The farm-to-table.
1348
00:56:24,782 --> 00:56:29,186
I mean, I guess
it all kind of, uh...
1349
00:56:29,219 --> 00:56:33,791
all goes from farms to tables
of some kind.
1350
00:56:37,261 --> 00:56:39,764
RICHARD: We're so excited
that you're all here.
1351
00:56:39,797 --> 00:56:42,099
And we are so thankful
1352
00:56:42,132 --> 00:56:44,234
to our old friend
for presenting us
1353
00:56:44,268 --> 00:56:47,738
with another informative and,
uh, just stimulating evening.
1354
00:56:47,772 --> 00:56:49,940
-Oh.
-(laughter)
1355
00:56:49,974 --> 00:56:51,876
RICHARD:
You know him. You love him.
1356
00:56:51,909 --> 00:56:53,544
-And sometimes hate.
-(laughter)
1357
00:56:53,578 --> 00:56:56,614
-Hate writing the checks,
but, uh, you know. -Yeah.
1358
00:56:58,015 --> 00:57:00,250
-Gary.
-Thank you. Thanks so much.
1359
00:57:00,284 --> 00:57:01,719
Thanks for coming.
1360
00:57:01,752 --> 00:57:02,987
And thank you...
1361
00:57:03,020 --> 00:57:05,289
Keep that going
for the Peelers, please.
1362
00:57:05,322 --> 00:57:07,892
Their tremendous hospitality.
1363
00:57:07,925 --> 00:57:10,260
Listen, I'm not gonna take up
too much of your time
1364
00:57:10,294 --> 00:57:12,997
other than to say
thank you all for being here.
1365
00:57:13,030 --> 00:57:16,066
One thing I do want to say,
though, is that
1366
00:57:16,100 --> 00:57:19,904
Colonel Jack Hastings
is the embodiment
1367
00:57:19,937 --> 00:57:22,172
of America's real greatness.
1368
00:57:22,206 --> 00:57:26,176
Service to nation,
hard work, faith.
1369
00:57:26,210 --> 00:57:29,346
Republicans don't own
those values, do they?
1370
00:57:29,379 --> 00:57:30,948
-(crowd murmuring)
-They don't own 'em.
1371
00:57:30,981 --> 00:57:32,917
They can't.
1372
00:57:32,950 --> 00:57:34,351
Inclusion.
1373
00:57:34,384 --> 00:57:35,920
That's the most important
of all.
1374
00:57:35,953 --> 00:57:37,855
But sometimes,
we get comfortable
1375
00:57:37,888 --> 00:57:39,657
in our own little
ideological bubbles.
1376
00:57:39,690 --> 00:57:41,258
I see them.
1377
00:57:41,291 --> 00:57:43,127
You can't see them,
necessarily, but I see 'em.
1378
00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:44,529
There's a little bubble there.
1379
00:57:44,562 --> 00:57:46,497
-(laughter)
-There's a little bubble there.
1380
00:57:46,531 --> 00:57:48,699
And we forget to reach out.
1381
00:57:48,733 --> 00:57:51,368
To find empathy
and understanding
1382
00:57:51,401 --> 00:57:55,105
across religious or racial
1383
00:57:55,139 --> 00:57:57,875
or just plain geographical
boundaries.
1384
00:57:57,908 --> 00:58:00,811
And I hope tonight changes
that, even just a little bit.
1385
00:58:01,846 --> 00:58:04,181
So, without further ado,
1386
00:58:04,214 --> 00:58:06,651
I would like you to join me
in welcoming
1387
00:58:06,684 --> 00:58:10,454
the next mayor of
Deerlaken, Wisconsin,
1388
00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:12,790
Colonel Jack Hastings.
1389
00:58:12,823 --> 00:58:14,825
-(applause, whooping)
-MAN: Hear, hear.
1390
00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:22,466
Uh, uh... thanks, folks.
1391
00:58:22,499 --> 00:58:25,536
And thanks to Gary
1392
00:58:25,570 --> 00:58:28,539
-and to the Peelers.
-RICHARD: Thank you.
1393
00:58:28,573 --> 00:58:31,175
Wow, this is a great house.
1394
00:58:31,208 --> 00:58:33,077
It's a great house.
1395
00:58:33,110 --> 00:58:35,312
Um...
1396
00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:37,047
(chuckles quietly)
1397
00:58:37,081 --> 00:58:39,650
I see some of you are...
1398
00:58:39,684 --> 00:58:42,352
wondering what I'm doing here.
1399
00:58:43,387 --> 00:58:44,622
And...
1400
00:58:45,923 --> 00:58:48,525
I think I'm wondering the same.
1401
00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:51,495
Uh...
1402
00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:53,530
I guess that's the point.
1403
00:58:55,199 --> 00:58:58,669
Without all this,
you might never have met me.
1404
00:58:58,703 --> 00:59:02,139
And I certainly
wouldn't have met you.
1405
00:59:03,540 --> 00:59:04,942
But...
1406
00:59:06,577 --> 00:59:08,579
...uh, now we have.
1407
00:59:10,047 --> 00:59:11,582
(sighs)
1408
00:59:11,616 --> 00:59:14,118
So, uh...
1409
00:59:16,887 --> 00:59:18,188
Um...
1410
00:59:18,222 --> 00:59:19,924
Colonel, Colonel.
1411
00:59:19,957 --> 00:59:22,526
-Yeah. -Gary Zimmer
from "The D.C. Bugle."
1412
00:59:22,559 --> 00:59:24,862
-(laughter)
-Um, why...
1413
00:59:24,895 --> 00:59:28,933
why should a bunch of uptight
Upper West Siders care about
1414
00:59:28,966 --> 00:59:30,635
a little town in Wisconsin?
1415
00:59:30,668 --> 00:59:32,637
(quiet murmuring)
1416
00:59:32,670 --> 00:59:35,105
Uh, it's hard to say.
1417
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,408
I guess we're hurting,
1418
00:59:38,442 --> 00:59:41,445
looking for help from you.
1419
00:59:43,648 --> 00:59:45,415
What can we do to help?
1420
00:59:45,449 --> 00:59:47,584
I'll take that. Money.
1421
00:59:47,618 --> 00:59:49,553
-(laughter)
-Money.
1422
00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:52,456
It's a serious question,
actually.
1423
00:59:52,489 --> 00:59:55,259
You know,
our politics seem broken.
1424
00:59:55,292 --> 00:59:59,596
Colonel, what do you see is
the system's greatest weakness?
1425
01:00:02,767 --> 01:00:06,570
Hmm, well, I guess,
for one thing,
1426
01:00:06,603 --> 01:00:08,973
this.
1427
01:00:09,006 --> 01:00:10,641
Here, tonight.
1428
01:00:12,376 --> 01:00:15,379
And I mean no disrespect.
1429
01:00:16,647 --> 01:00:19,917
I just think
this seems a bit crazy.
1430
01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:22,086
I want to help my town.
1431
01:00:22,119 --> 01:00:24,021
I want to be mayor,
1432
01:00:24,054 --> 01:00:27,257
some town in the middle
of Wisconsin.
1433
01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:29,159
So, instead of being home
1434
01:00:29,193 --> 01:00:32,196
working on some smart things
to help my town,
1435
01:00:32,229 --> 01:00:35,099
I have to fly here to your town
1436
01:00:35,132 --> 01:00:38,035
and convince you
that my town's worth saving.
1437
01:00:38,068 --> 01:00:40,838
And that I'm worth it.
1438
01:00:40,871 --> 01:00:44,608
And that saving it
is worth it to you.
1439
01:00:44,641 --> 01:00:46,777
All so you can give me
some money.
1440
01:00:46,811 --> 01:00:49,814
Not for my town, but for me.
1441
01:00:49,847 --> 01:00:54,418
To help convince my town
that I'm worth it.
1442
01:00:56,253 --> 01:00:59,623
I mean...
1443
01:00:59,656 --> 01:01:03,994
I don't know,
it just sounds so stupid.
1444
01:01:05,662 --> 01:01:06,831
(sighs)
1445
01:01:06,864 --> 01:01:08,398
*
1446
01:01:08,432 --> 01:01:09,867
(Jack grunts softly)
1447
01:01:19,109 --> 01:01:20,745
Still crying?
1448
01:01:22,412 --> 01:01:24,715
GARY:
A little bit.
1449
01:01:24,749 --> 01:01:26,183
JACK:
Mm.
1450
01:01:27,785 --> 01:01:32,489
You gonna do that
all the way home?
1451
01:01:32,522 --> 01:01:34,224
Yes.
1452
01:01:37,261 --> 01:01:39,263
Why?
1453
01:01:40,530 --> 01:01:42,566
Because the seat belt sign
is on
1454
01:01:42,599 --> 01:01:45,435
and I can't get up to hug you.
1455
01:01:45,469 --> 01:01:48,372
Damn, Jack.
1456
01:01:48,405 --> 01:01:50,908
(sighs)
You walked in there,
1457
01:01:50,941 --> 01:01:54,011
into the lion's den
like that...
1458
01:01:54,044 --> 01:01:55,079
Daniel.
1459
01:01:55,112 --> 01:01:56,914
Yeah, and just...
1460
01:01:56,947 --> 01:02:00,184
you told 'em, straight up,
this isn't right.
1461
01:02:00,217 --> 01:02:02,352
This is wrong.
The system is corrupt.
1462
01:02:02,386 --> 01:02:04,621
(imitating Al Pacino): I'm out
of order? You're out of order.
1463
01:02:04,654 --> 01:02:06,190
The whole damn system's
out of order!
1464
01:02:06,223 --> 01:02:08,725
Attica! Att...
1465
01:02:08,759 --> 01:02:10,060
(grunts intensely)
1466
01:02:10,094 --> 01:02:12,129
(gasps) Money.
1467
01:02:12,162 --> 01:02:16,600
Oh, God, their money
is the problem?
1468
01:02:16,633 --> 01:02:19,069
(chuckling):
Oh!
1469
01:02:19,103 --> 01:02:20,771
You should've seen their faces.
1470
01:02:20,805 --> 01:02:22,406
I saw.
1471
01:02:22,439 --> 01:02:26,076
They ate it up.
1472
01:02:26,110 --> 01:02:28,612
We could've named our price.
1473
01:02:28,645 --> 01:02:31,115
(grunts, laughs)
1474
01:02:31,148 --> 01:02:32,883
Oh, no way Faith matches.
1475
01:02:32,917 --> 01:02:35,252
-And why is that, now?
-Oh.
1476
01:02:35,285 --> 01:02:38,388
Because they're spending
to stop something,
1477
01:02:38,422 --> 01:02:40,457
and we're spending
to start something.
1478
01:02:41,658 --> 01:02:43,493
-(Gary sighs)
-Hmm.
1479
01:02:43,527 --> 01:02:45,429
(imitating Peter Finch):
I'm mad as hell,
1480
01:02:45,462 --> 01:02:47,832
and I can't take it anymore!
1481
01:02:47,865 --> 01:02:50,167
-(Jack chuckles)
-(gasps) Oh!
1482
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:52,502
Gary, you... green bean?
1483
01:02:52,536 --> 01:02:54,004
No. (laughs)
1484
01:02:54,038 --> 01:02:55,940
Okay. No, thank you.
1485
01:02:58,042 --> 01:03:00,110
(sighs):
Wow.
1486
01:03:00,144 --> 01:03:02,813
I'm telling you,
he is the real deal.
1487
01:03:02,847 --> 01:03:05,649
It is like a Bill Clinton
with impulse control.
1488
01:03:05,682 --> 01:03:07,651
Like a churchgoing
Bernie Sanders
1489
01:03:07,684 --> 01:03:09,353
with better bone density.
1490
01:03:09,386 --> 01:03:10,988
-He... Oh, here they are.
-JACK: Hello. Good morning.
1491
01:03:11,021 --> 01:03:12,622
Here they are.
1492
01:03:12,656 --> 01:03:14,624
Ladies and gentlemen,
the next mayor of Deerlaken
1493
01:03:14,658 --> 01:03:15,960
and his talented
first daughter.
1494
01:03:15,993 --> 01:03:18,095
-Please join me.
-You are fired up, huh?
1495
01:03:18,128 --> 01:03:20,330
I am fired...
Why wouldn't I be fired up?
1496
01:03:20,364 --> 01:03:24,634
I am working with the future
of the Democratic Party here.
1497
01:03:24,668 --> 01:03:27,771
Oh, your dad the other night
was transcendent.
1498
01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:29,506
He crushed it.
1499
01:03:29,539 --> 01:03:31,775
And because of that,
I'd like to show you
1500
01:03:31,808 --> 01:03:34,111
the fruits of your labor.
1501
01:03:34,144 --> 01:03:37,982
Because he was so good,
I was able to hire...
1502
01:03:38,015 --> 01:03:39,783
the "A" team.
1503
01:03:39,816 --> 01:03:41,651
-Mm-hmm.
-GARY: I'm just kidding.
1504
01:03:41,685 --> 01:03:43,153
They're not the "A" team.
1505
01:03:43,187 --> 01:03:44,721
Not that you aren't great.
1506
01:03:44,754 --> 01:03:47,391
-But this...
-(keypad beeping)
1507
01:03:47,424 --> 01:03:48,792
is the real "A" team.
1508
01:03:48,825 --> 01:03:50,660
TINA: I get it,
but what are the numbers?
1509
01:03:50,694 --> 01:03:52,462
(Diana gasps)
1510
01:03:52,496 --> 01:03:54,264
(quiet, indistinct chatter)
1511
01:03:56,066 --> 01:03:57,501
-You know Kurt Lehman, polling
and modeling. -Oh, my God.
1512
01:03:57,534 --> 01:03:58,802
-Yes. Hi.
-KURT: Hi.
1513
01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:00,704
-He gives us a window into
the electorate. -Hi. -Hey.
1514
01:04:00,737 --> 01:04:02,372
-How are you?
-GARY: Best in the business.
1515
01:04:02,406 --> 01:04:04,008
When everyone was
predicting Hillary
1516
01:04:04,041 --> 01:04:06,911
in a landslide over Trump,
Kurt was the one guy
1517
01:04:06,944 --> 01:04:09,813
who had her
just barely beating him.
1518
01:04:09,846 --> 01:04:13,050
My models just picked up the
trend lines, so... (chuckles)
1519
01:04:13,083 --> 01:04:15,052
If the election had taken place
a month or two later...
1520
01:04:15,085 --> 01:04:17,922
My numbers would've been
100% on the money.
1521
01:04:17,955 --> 01:04:19,723
-Mm-hmm.
-DIANA: Wow.
1522
01:04:19,756 --> 01:04:21,225
Impressive.
1523
01:04:21,258 --> 01:04:22,526
Well...
1524
01:04:22,559 --> 01:04:24,161
Well, he was the least wrong.
1525
01:04:24,194 --> 01:04:25,930
Tina Kuryev, analytics.
1526
01:04:25,963 --> 01:04:27,597
She gives us a window
into the voters.
1527
01:04:27,631 --> 01:04:29,033
Good to meet you, sir.
1528
01:04:29,066 --> 01:04:31,768
Oh. I thought, uh,
polling did that.
1529
01:04:31,801 --> 01:04:34,371
-It does. -Well, he tells you
how he thinks they feel.
1530
01:04:34,404 --> 01:04:36,240
I tell you how
they really feel.
1531
01:04:38,242 --> 01:04:41,078
-People are liars.
-Here we go.
1532
01:04:41,111 --> 01:04:44,248
He can tell you how often
people say they go to church.
1533
01:04:44,281 --> 01:04:45,882
She can tell you
if they actually go.
1534
01:04:45,916 --> 01:04:47,918
I can tell you
if God is in their hearts.
1535
01:04:47,952 --> 01:04:49,419
-Oh, my God.
-Tina's in online analytics.
1536
01:04:49,453 --> 01:04:50,921
KURT:
Hey, can I just say--
1537
01:04:50,955 --> 01:04:53,390
we take deception into account,
too, okay? (chuckles)
1538
01:04:53,423 --> 01:04:55,525
Yeah, polling is
an art form, but,
1539
01:04:55,559 --> 01:04:57,928
you know, there's plenty
of science to back it up.
1540
01:04:57,962 --> 01:05:00,197
Says the guy
still calling landlines.
1541
01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:02,699
People tell computers
the truth, right?
1542
01:05:02,732 --> 01:05:04,868
Their desires,
their prejudices.
1543
01:05:04,901 --> 01:05:06,736
Every search,
every transaction--
1544
01:05:06,770 --> 01:05:08,738
it's an unguarded
private moment.
1545
01:05:08,772 --> 01:05:11,976
So there's no, uh,
margin of error, you know?
1546
01:05:12,009 --> 01:05:14,878
The digital footprint
is your true self.
1547
01:05:14,911 --> 01:05:16,947
But, surely,
people are more complicated
1548
01:05:16,981 --> 01:05:19,083
than their online transactions.
1549
01:05:19,116 --> 01:05:21,151
Well, says the woman
with three cats
1550
01:05:21,185 --> 01:05:23,753
and an intense search history
of the herpes virus.
1551
01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:31,895
One of the cats...
1552
01:05:31,928 --> 01:05:33,763
Is this legal?
1553
01:05:33,797 --> 01:05:36,433
Law enforcement
or in the eyes of God?
1554
01:05:39,269 --> 01:05:41,938
NEWSWOMAN: With two weeks to go
until election day,
1555
01:05:41,972 --> 01:05:44,141
we have an update
on the Deerlaken mayoral race.
1556
01:05:44,174 --> 01:05:46,143
The race between
Colonel Jack Hastings
1557
01:05:46,176 --> 01:05:49,579
and incumbent Mayor Billy Braun
is tightening.
1558
01:05:49,613 --> 01:05:51,481
Who here has been chosen
as 527s?
1559
01:05:51,515 --> 01:05:52,616
-Raise your hands, please.
-(murmuring)
1560
01:05:52,649 --> 01:05:55,519
One, two, three, four. Good.
1561
01:05:55,552 --> 01:05:57,621
You all run super PACs now.
1562
01:05:57,654 --> 01:06:01,825
You are no longer associated
with this campaign.
1563
01:06:01,858 --> 01:06:06,630
And as such, it is time to move
to your super PAC location,
1564
01:06:06,663 --> 01:06:09,866
which is all the way
at the back of the room,
1565
01:06:09,899 --> 01:06:13,870
far, far away from the activity
of the campaign.
1566
01:06:14,971 --> 01:06:16,506
Right now?
1567
01:06:16,540 --> 01:06:19,176
I am not at liberty to say.
1568
01:06:19,209 --> 01:06:22,712
The campaign cannot coordinate
with the super PAC.
1569
01:06:22,746 --> 01:06:24,148
So...
1570
01:06:24,181 --> 01:06:26,383
(whispers):
After the meeting.
1571
01:06:26,416 --> 01:06:28,452
* You always won
1572
01:06:28,485 --> 01:06:30,887
* Every time
you placed a bet... *
1573
01:06:34,091 --> 01:06:35,859
Get me that fucking sat truck!
1574
01:06:35,892 --> 01:06:38,562
Get it now! They're gonna
out-communicate us!
1575
01:06:38,595 --> 01:06:41,198
Here, we have an unusual
cluster of single women.
1576
01:06:41,231 --> 01:06:42,499
They're all gonna get pamphlets
1577
01:06:42,532 --> 01:06:44,134
saying that the mayor
is gonna repeal
1578
01:06:44,168 --> 01:06:45,969
the health care payment
for birth control.
1579
01:06:46,002 --> 01:06:47,071
JACK:
What's this?
1580
01:06:47,104 --> 01:06:49,639
It's eight SMAWs.
1581
01:06:49,673 --> 01:06:51,841
Stay-at-home middle-aged women.
1582
01:06:51,875 --> 01:06:54,144
-29 to 54.
-DIANA: 29?
1583
01:06:54,178 --> 01:06:56,046
That's middle-aged?
1584
01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:58,082
Yes. Yes, it is.
1585
01:06:58,115 --> 01:06:59,883
KURT: You got to do it
on the adjective.
1586
01:06:59,916 --> 01:07:01,518
Safe streets.
It's not safe streets.
1587
01:07:01,551 --> 01:07:03,520
-Everybody wants safe streets!
-Safe... No, no, no.
1588
01:07:03,553 --> 01:07:04,988
Okay, that's coming off
a little angry.
1589
01:07:05,021 --> 01:07:07,257
GARY: Did you finish
those donor calls?
1590
01:07:07,291 --> 01:07:08,858
JACK:
Yeah, just about.
1591
01:07:08,892 --> 01:07:10,894
I just always had a notion
that farmers had a...
1592
01:07:10,927 --> 01:07:12,562
I'm sorry, are...
are you clicking your heels?
1593
01:07:12,596 --> 01:07:13,997
Are you Dorothy?
1594
01:07:14,030 --> 01:07:15,665
Is there no place like home?
1595
01:07:15,699 --> 01:07:18,034
* Turning on the charm
1596
01:07:18,068 --> 01:07:21,004
-* Long enough to get you by
-* Still the same...
1597
01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:24,274
JACK: America's greatness
and God's grace...
1598
01:07:24,308 --> 01:07:27,844
I'd go to battle
for those two any day.
1599
01:07:27,877 --> 01:07:29,379
ANNOUNCER:
Paid for by Wisconsinites
1600
01:07:29,413 --> 01:07:30,880
for Religiously Based
Compassionate Empathy.
1601
01:07:35,719 --> 01:07:36,920
-(Jack sighs)
-Did you just sigh?
1602
01:07:36,953 --> 01:07:38,355
-Did he just sigh?
-Oh, I can't...
1603
01:07:38,388 --> 01:07:39,756
Don't even get me started
with sighing.
1604
01:07:39,789 --> 01:07:41,891
TINA:
Now, here, this cluster in blue
1605
01:07:41,925 --> 01:07:43,693
have children,
so they're gonna get
1606
01:07:43,727 --> 01:07:46,062
pamphlets saying
"save our schools"
1607
01:07:46,096 --> 01:07:49,366
because it's 1950
and everybody loves pamphlets.
1608
01:07:49,399 --> 01:07:50,967
"Hi. My name is Jack.
I'm exasperated."
1609
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:52,269
(takes exaggerated deep breath)
1610
01:07:52,302 --> 01:07:54,471
Why don't we move on
to the WoMAMs?
1611
01:07:54,504 --> 01:07:56,206
White middle-aged men.
1612
01:07:56,240 --> 01:07:57,607
(laughter)
1613
01:07:59,576 --> 01:08:03,947
* I had nothing left to say
1614
01:08:03,980 --> 01:08:05,949
* 'Cause you're
still the same *
1615
01:08:05,982 --> 01:08:07,551
* Still the same
1616
01:08:07,584 --> 01:08:09,886
* Baby, baby, still the same
1617
01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:11,255
GARY:
What's this?
1618
01:08:11,288 --> 01:08:12,656
KURT:
Walt.
1619
01:08:12,689 --> 01:08:14,057
* You're still the same...
1620
01:08:14,090 --> 01:08:15,725
Is that an acronym?
1621
01:08:15,759 --> 01:08:18,128
No, it is not.
1622
01:08:19,996 --> 01:08:24,368
Can I still bring baked goods
to the super PAC location?
1623
01:08:25,602 --> 01:08:27,604
(indistinct whispering)
1624
01:08:31,841 --> 01:08:33,109
No.
1625
01:08:34,344 --> 01:08:36,613
(dramatic, cinematic music
playing)
1626
01:08:50,527 --> 01:08:54,431
I'm Colonel Jack Hastings,
and I approve this message.
1627
01:08:54,464 --> 01:08:56,099
ANNOUNCER:
You want to come to Deerlaken,
1628
01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:57,867
you'll have to go through him.
1629
01:08:57,901 --> 01:09:00,470
(echoing boom)
1630
01:09:00,504 --> 01:09:02,839
Paid for by Powerful
Progressives for Strength.
1631
01:09:02,872 --> 01:09:04,874
(mouthing)
1632
01:09:06,476 --> 01:09:08,044
-Thank you so much, sir.
-You're welcome.
1633
01:09:08,077 --> 01:09:09,479
Thank you so much
for your support.
1634
01:09:09,513 --> 01:09:11,248
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
1635
01:09:13,683 --> 01:09:16,720
How the hell did she get the
bayou billionaires involved?
1636
01:09:16,753 --> 01:09:18,188
You okay?
Do you need some help?
1637
01:09:18,222 --> 01:09:20,023
-Just fine.
-You're good? Okay, thank you.
1638
01:09:20,056 --> 01:09:21,691
She must have promised
that they could have
1639
01:09:21,725 --> 01:09:23,427
the town smelted
after the election.
1640
01:09:28,498 --> 01:09:30,334
I'm just very impressed
with all this.
1641
01:09:30,367 --> 01:09:32,836
-You... you do the polling.
-KURT: Uh-huh. In fact...
1642
01:09:32,869 --> 01:09:33,837
(heavy, metallic thumping)
1643
01:09:33,870 --> 01:09:35,472
GARY:
There it is.
1644
01:09:35,505 --> 01:09:36,640
What is that?
1645
01:09:36,673 --> 01:09:38,408
No, who is that?
Elton Chambers.
1646
01:09:38,442 --> 01:09:40,544
The Rocket Man?
1647
01:09:40,577 --> 01:09:42,412
The billionaire
Rocket Man, yes.
1648
01:09:42,446 --> 01:09:44,548
Jesus Chr...
I thought he was dead.
1649
01:09:44,581 --> 01:09:46,516
-Well, he is dead.
-GARY: No, no, no.
1650
01:09:46,550 --> 01:09:48,585
A series of micro-strokes.
It's all good.
1651
01:09:48,618 --> 01:09:50,754
(slow, heavy thumping)
1652
01:09:53,957 --> 01:09:55,859
(door creaks open)
1653
01:09:55,892 --> 01:09:58,762
-(mechanical whirring)
-(heavy, metallic footsteps)
1654
01:10:06,970 --> 01:10:10,707
Sir Elton, thank you
so, so much for coming.
1655
01:10:10,740 --> 01:10:13,743
Everyone, this is
the great Sir Elton.
1656
01:10:15,312 --> 01:10:17,547
Let's get through
the pleasantries.
1657
01:10:17,581 --> 01:10:20,350
This is Jack Hastings
and his daughter Diana.
1658
01:10:20,384 --> 01:10:24,288
ELTON (robotic, melodic voice):
Hello to you.
1659
01:10:24,321 --> 01:10:26,856
GARY: All right, well,
let's get right to it, then.
1660
01:10:26,890 --> 01:10:32,095
ELTON (tune of "Hava Nagila"):
Tell me, what is your position
1661
01:10:32,128 --> 01:10:35,532
concerning the settlement
1662
01:10:35,565 --> 01:10:40,637
of Kevyat Sharim?
1663
01:10:42,171 --> 01:10:44,240
Uh...
1664
01:10:44,274 --> 01:10:45,775
I'm not sure I...
1665
01:10:45,809 --> 01:10:46,976
Israel.
1666
01:10:47,010 --> 01:10:50,046
Jack believes
that sovereign nations
1667
01:10:50,079 --> 01:10:51,615
are entitled to self-defense.
1668
01:10:51,648 --> 01:10:52,882
ELTON:
Strongly?
1669
01:10:52,916 --> 01:10:54,183
Strongly believes, yes.
1670
01:10:55,184 --> 01:10:57,321
(mechanical whirring)
1671
01:10:57,354 --> 01:10:59,689
(Elton gasps, stammers)
1672
01:11:01,257 --> 01:11:02,992
(normal voice):
An election is a moral horror,
1673
01:11:03,026 --> 01:11:05,462
as bad as a battle
but without the blood.
1674
01:11:05,495 --> 01:11:07,797
That's George Bernard Shaw.
1675
01:11:09,333 --> 01:11:10,767
(robotic, melodic voice):
Get the car.
1676
01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:12,168
(whispers):
I think that went well.
1677
01:11:12,201 --> 01:11:13,803
KURT:
Seemed like a really nice guy.
1678
01:11:13,837 --> 01:11:15,439
Actually looked
pretty good, right?
1679
01:11:15,472 --> 01:11:16,806
-Yeah.
-Surprisingly robust.
1680
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:18,842
Elton Chambers is in.
1681
01:11:18,875 --> 01:11:21,010
-Oh.
-TINA: Ah. All right.
1682
01:11:21,044 --> 01:11:22,579
Making it rain.
1683
01:11:22,612 --> 01:11:25,315
He actually has a machine
that makes it rain.
1684
01:11:35,359 --> 01:11:38,428
GARY: This margin of error
is really shrinking.
1685
01:11:38,462 --> 01:11:39,596
Excuse me. Gary...
1686
01:11:39,629 --> 01:11:40,830
-Mr. Zimmer.
-Mm-mm.
1687
01:11:40,864 --> 01:11:43,299
-Becca, super PAC.
-Uh...
1688
01:11:43,333 --> 01:11:45,502
Okay.
1689
01:11:45,535 --> 01:11:47,437
-Uh, big guy?
-GARY: Hmm?
1690
01:11:47,471 --> 01:11:49,473
We got a problem.
1691
01:11:58,482 --> 01:12:00,016
(keypad beeps)
1692
01:12:00,049 --> 01:12:02,018
Hey, everybody.
1693
01:12:02,051 --> 01:12:03,987
Hard at work, I see.
That's good.
1694
01:12:04,020 --> 01:12:06,222
That's good.
I had a couple of questions.
1695
01:12:06,255 --> 01:12:07,957
The first is: What the fuck?!
1696
01:12:07,991 --> 01:12:10,159
What tactical genius in here
1697
01:12:10,193 --> 01:12:12,396
thought it might be a good idea
to carpet-bomb
1698
01:12:12,429 --> 01:12:15,231
a particular neighborhood
in this town
1699
01:12:15,264 --> 01:12:18,968
with flyers suggesting
that Colonel Jack Hastings
1700
01:12:19,002 --> 01:12:20,637
-would make sure...
-(sighs): Fuck.
1701
01:12:20,670 --> 01:12:24,173
-...that contraception
is paid for by the government?
1702
01:12:27,877 --> 01:12:29,513
Uh, I did.
1703
01:12:29,546 --> 01:12:31,848
-KURT (shuddering): Oh.
-TINA: The data showed an
1704
01:12:31,881 --> 01:12:33,917
unusually concentrated grouping
of single women in the area
1705
01:12:33,950 --> 01:12:36,085
who are deeply interested
in reproductive rights.
1706
01:12:36,119 --> 01:12:37,353
And you know why that is?
1707
01:12:37,387 --> 01:12:38,822
(chuckling):
Well, "why" is not really...
1708
01:12:38,855 --> 01:12:40,657
Because this "concentrated
grouping of single women,"
1709
01:12:40,690 --> 01:12:42,692
as you put it, is a convent.
1710
01:12:43,793 --> 01:12:45,595
They are nuns.
1711
01:12:45,629 --> 01:12:48,665
Which is how many of them are
going to end up voting for us.
1712
01:12:48,698 --> 01:12:51,100
"Nuns" of them. Zero.
1713
01:12:51,134 --> 01:12:53,336
-(laughs)
-It's not funny.
1714
01:12:53,369 --> 01:12:55,371
I'm not laughing.
1715
01:12:57,707 --> 01:12:59,943
(sighs) Fuck.
1716
01:12:59,976 --> 01:13:02,712
Well, I think we can
appreciate the humor
1717
01:13:02,746 --> 01:13:05,114
in this very honest mistake.
1718
01:13:05,148 --> 01:13:06,950
And the fact that the nuns
1719
01:13:06,983 --> 01:13:08,452
are generously turning
the other cheek
1720
01:13:08,485 --> 01:13:09,853
makes it a nonstory, but...
1721
01:13:09,886 --> 01:13:11,254
FAITH:
Brooke, Brooke, if I may.
1722
01:13:11,287 --> 01:13:13,389
Uh, this is really just
another perfect example
1723
01:13:13,423 --> 01:13:16,526
of the D.C. elite coming into
a place they don't understand
1724
01:13:16,560 --> 01:13:18,261
and trying to dictate
how we should live.
1725
01:13:18,294 --> 01:13:20,597
The Democrat Party can't win.
They're getting desperate.
1726
01:13:20,630 --> 01:13:22,699
They don't know us,
they don't want to know us,
1727
01:13:22,732 --> 01:13:24,734
-and they look down on
our values. -GARY: No, no.
1728
01:13:24,768 --> 01:13:26,636
That's "we." You're D.C. elite.
1729
01:13:26,670 --> 01:13:28,271
Oh, no, actually,
I'm from here.
1730
01:13:28,304 --> 01:13:29,739
BROOKE:
Faith, I didn't know that.
1731
01:13:29,773 --> 01:13:31,808
-You're from Wisconsin?
-Mm-hmm. Yeah.
1732
01:13:31,841 --> 01:13:33,610
Well, no, "Deer-lake-en."
I'm from "Deer-lake-en."
1733
01:13:33,643 --> 01:13:35,411
-What? Whoa.
-BROOKE: Oh. Wow.
1734
01:13:35,445 --> 01:13:37,547
So this campaign has been
a bit of a homecoming.
1735
01:13:37,581 --> 01:13:39,248
-It really is, Brooke.
Thank you. -No, no.
1736
01:13:39,282 --> 01:13:41,150
No, no, that's a lie.
That's a lie.
1737
01:13:41,184 --> 01:13:42,652
-No, it's...
-You're lying.
1738
01:13:42,686 --> 01:13:43,887
-It's-it's the truth.
-She's ly... That's...
1739
01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:45,455
-I'm from here. -No, that...
What are you even doing?
1740
01:13:45,489 --> 01:13:46,656
-(laughing): Okay.
-I-I am from here.
1741
01:13:46,690 --> 01:13:47,991
-You're not from here!
-Well, as always, a great
1742
01:13:48,024 --> 01:13:49,392
-and spirited discussion.
-Thank you so much.
1743
01:13:49,425 --> 01:13:50,760
-No, hey! No, no, no, no.
She's lying. -Thank you both.
1744
01:13:50,794 --> 01:13:52,095
-Unfortunately, we have to
leave it there. -She's a li...
1745
01:13:52,128 --> 01:13:55,064
Coming up, we'll look at more
of this year's hot races
1746
01:13:55,098 --> 01:13:57,834
and how those will affect races
four years from now.
1747
01:13:57,867 --> 01:13:59,969
Why do you even lie
about something like that?
1748
01:14:00,003 --> 01:14:03,439
(sighs) Honestly, I, uh...
I don't even know.
1749
01:14:03,473 --> 01:14:05,141
(mocking):
"I... I don't even know."
1750
01:14:05,174 --> 01:14:06,976
Wh-What do you mean,
you don't know?
1751
01:14:07,010 --> 01:14:10,013
You can't just lie
about something like that.
1752
01:14:10,046 --> 01:14:12,315
You just walk away?
1753
01:14:12,348 --> 01:14:15,752
You just told America that
you're from "Deer-lake-en"?
1754
01:14:15,785 --> 01:14:18,421
That's not even
how you pronounce it!
1755
01:14:18,454 --> 01:14:21,625
"Deer-lake-en," my ass.
1756
01:14:21,658 --> 01:14:23,760
Oh, my God.
1757
01:14:23,793 --> 01:14:26,362
She's a fucking genius!
1758
01:14:26,395 --> 01:14:28,097
Oh!
1759
01:14:28,131 --> 01:14:30,433
Oh, my God, I hate her so much.
1760
01:14:30,466 --> 01:14:32,035
I hate her. I hate her.
1761
01:14:32,068 --> 01:14:34,704
She said it,
and now it's the truth.
1762
01:14:34,738 --> 01:14:37,641
(sighing):
Fuck me.
1763
01:14:37,674 --> 01:14:39,208
-(indistinct chatter)
-(music playing)
1764
01:14:39,242 --> 01:14:40,710
WAITRESS:
Another round, guys?
1765
01:14:40,744 --> 01:14:42,178
Okay.
1766
01:14:43,980 --> 01:14:46,282
FAITH: Goddamn it.
You're killing me.
1767
01:14:46,315 --> 01:14:47,617
KURT:
That's good. Yeah.
1768
01:14:47,651 --> 01:14:50,019
(indistinct chatter continues)
1769
01:14:50,053 --> 01:14:51,655
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
1770
01:14:51,688 --> 01:14:52,856
GARY:
Hey, Mikes!
1771
01:14:52,889 --> 01:14:54,891
How you doing, guys?
1772
01:14:57,827 --> 01:14:59,228
Hello, everybody.
1773
01:14:59,262 --> 01:15:01,330
-KURT: Hey, big guy.
-DIANA: Hey, Gary. Um...
1774
01:15:01,364 --> 01:15:03,700
-Burger and a Bud.
-Oh, thank you very much.
1775
01:15:03,733 --> 01:15:05,702
You know, that looks great.
Uh, can I have one of those?
1776
01:15:05,735 --> 01:15:07,136
No.
1777
01:15:07,170 --> 01:15:09,338
GARY: What you guys doing?
Looking at some ads?
1778
01:15:09,372 --> 01:15:11,040
DIANA: Yeah, they're just
taking me through it.
1779
01:15:11,074 --> 01:15:12,976
Bio. Very nice.
1780
01:15:13,009 --> 01:15:15,144
Education. That's important.
1781
01:15:15,178 --> 01:15:17,647
Hey, are we sure that we want
to be doing this here
1782
01:15:17,681 --> 01:15:19,749
and not in Faith's room
or the mayor's office?
1783
01:15:19,783 --> 01:15:22,819
Because right now I'm not sure
that our opposition knows
1784
01:15:22,852 --> 01:15:24,721
exactly what we're about to do.
1785
01:15:24,754 --> 01:15:26,590
And that seems unfair.
No, no, no, no, no.
1786
01:15:26,623 --> 01:15:28,157
Don't put 'em away
on my account.
1787
01:15:28,191 --> 01:15:30,526
Why don't we got one of
those overhead projectors
1788
01:15:30,560 --> 01:15:31,928
-that you have at
a bowling alley? -Stop.
1789
01:15:31,961 --> 01:15:33,763
-Kurt, you don't have to leave.
-So everybody here can see it.
1790
01:15:33,797 --> 01:15:34,764
Wouldn't that be good?
1791
01:15:34,798 --> 01:15:36,065
Kurt, come on.
1792
01:15:37,867 --> 01:15:39,035
Mmm!
1793
01:15:39,068 --> 01:15:40,570
Why do you talk
to them like that?
1794
01:15:40,604 --> 01:15:41,771
Like what?
1795
01:15:41,805 --> 01:15:43,039
Like that.
Like they're idiots.
1796
01:15:43,072 --> 01:15:44,741
(inhales sharply)
Well...
1797
01:15:44,774 --> 01:15:45,875
(chuckles)
1798
01:15:45,909 --> 01:15:47,911
Listen.
1799
01:15:47,944 --> 01:15:49,278
(sighs)
1800
01:15:49,312 --> 01:15:51,247
I saw some polls.
1801
01:15:51,280 --> 01:15:52,882
If we don't
figure this out soon,
1802
01:15:52,916 --> 01:15:54,517
there's no way
we're gonna beat her.
1803
01:15:54,550 --> 01:15:57,186
-Our demographics are so...
-"Her"?
1804
01:15:57,220 --> 01:16:00,123
-Who?
-Her.
1805
01:16:00,156 --> 01:16:02,692
DIANA: I mean, you said,
if we don't figure it out soon,
1806
01:16:02,726 --> 01:16:04,460
we're not gonna be able
to beat her.
1807
01:16:04,493 --> 01:16:06,429
We're not gonna beat
her candidate, Braun.
1808
01:16:06,462 --> 01:16:07,797
Mayor Braun.
1809
01:16:07,831 --> 01:16:10,199
Herr... Herr Braun.
1810
01:16:10,233 --> 01:16:11,735
Herr, her. Same thing.
1811
01:16:11,768 --> 01:16:13,102
DIANA:
Mm-hmm.
1812
01:16:13,136 --> 01:16:15,739
Look, Gary, I don't, um,
really understand
1813
01:16:15,772 --> 01:16:17,440
how you guys do things in D.C.,
1814
01:16:17,473 --> 01:16:19,108
but if you're gonna work
for my father,
1815
01:16:19,142 --> 01:16:20,610
you need to treat people
with respect.
1816
01:16:20,644 --> 01:16:22,378
-With. With.
-What?
1817
01:16:22,411 --> 01:16:24,147
Work with your father, not for.
1818
01:16:24,180 --> 01:16:26,950
You said "for."
It's a semantic thing, but...
1819
01:16:26,983 --> 01:16:29,819
it's... you know,
it's an important distinction.
1820
01:16:33,923 --> 01:16:36,292
Just so you know,
1821
01:16:36,325 --> 01:16:38,461
they don't actually serve
hamburgers and Budweiser here,
1822
01:16:38,494 --> 01:16:40,396
'cause it's a hofbrau house,
so they would serve
1823
01:16:40,429 --> 01:16:41,965
German food and German beers.
1824
01:16:41,998 --> 01:16:43,466
They've been patronizing you.
1825
01:16:49,706 --> 01:16:53,142
Just so you know, I don't even
like hamburgers or Budweiser,
1826
01:16:53,176 --> 01:16:54,678
so I've been
patronizing them...
1827
01:16:54,711 --> 01:16:56,179
-the whole time.
-Okay. Ah.
1828
01:16:56,212 --> 01:16:57,613
Did a little switcheroo.
1829
01:16:57,647 --> 01:17:00,449
Oh, and just so you know,
congratulations.
1830
01:17:00,483 --> 01:17:02,618
Our campaign made the paper.
1831
01:17:05,121 --> 01:17:06,355
(sighs):
Oh, God.
1832
01:17:09,558 --> 01:17:11,961
(takes deep breath)
1833
01:17:13,529 --> 01:17:15,631
She's so pretty.
1834
01:17:15,665 --> 01:17:18,167
I bet she smells
like Pop-Tarts.
1835
01:17:22,706 --> 01:17:25,041
Is he still looking?
(laughs)
1836
01:17:25,074 --> 01:17:26,542
NEWSWOMAN:
Now, Colonel Jack Hastings.
1837
01:17:26,575 --> 01:17:28,144
-NEWSMAN: Mm-hmm. Absolutely.
-Military man.
1838
01:17:28,177 --> 01:17:30,013
-From the heartland.
-Yep.
1839
01:17:30,046 --> 01:17:31,547
-No greater place in America.
-(chuckling)
1840
01:17:31,580 --> 01:17:32,982
-No, no.
-Am I right?
1841
01:17:33,016 --> 01:17:36,152
-Nope. -He is now part
of the loony left.
1842
01:17:36,185 --> 01:17:38,955
No, not just the loony left.
He's not just a Democrat.
1843
01:17:38,988 --> 01:17:40,623
-No.
-He has joined the...
1844
01:17:40,656 --> 01:17:42,558
-Squad.
-Socialism. -Mm-hmm.
1845
01:17:42,591 --> 01:17:44,127
Socialism. Hmm.
1846
01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:46,162
Do you think
it hurts our military
1847
01:17:46,195 --> 01:17:49,598
to have one of their own
throw in with the Democrats?
1848
01:17:51,100 --> 01:17:54,337
I know that if I had served,
1849
01:17:54,370 --> 01:17:56,405
I wouldn't like it.
1850
01:17:56,439 --> 01:17:59,375
Mm. Yeah.
1851
01:17:59,408 --> 01:18:02,979
FAITH (from other room):
Wow, that was a harsh segment.
1852
01:18:03,012 --> 01:18:04,981
-Cutting but fair.
-(sighs)
1853
01:18:05,014 --> 01:18:07,984
It's like I wrote it myself
last night and sent it to them
1854
01:18:08,017 --> 01:18:10,820
and they read it verbatim
like a scene.
1855
01:18:10,854 --> 01:18:12,989
Go to bed.
1856
01:18:13,022 --> 01:18:14,190
GARY:
What is this?
1857
01:18:14,223 --> 01:18:15,358
What am I looking at?
1858
01:18:15,391 --> 01:18:16,760
KURT:
Those are the...
1859
01:18:16,793 --> 01:18:18,661
Why are we being outspent
three-to-one?
1860
01:18:18,694 --> 01:18:20,163
And how do white women
not realize
1861
01:18:20,196 --> 01:18:21,530
they're backing
the wrong horse?
1862
01:18:21,564 --> 01:18:22,866
These numbers
aren't solidified.
1863
01:18:22,899 --> 01:18:24,533
Yeah, well, you got to
make it happen,
1864
01:18:24,567 --> 01:18:27,603
or you got to find me
some more fucking Hispanics.
1865
01:18:27,636 --> 01:18:29,572
Where are my
fucking Hispanics?!
1866
01:18:29,605 --> 01:18:33,409
-I need some more fucking
Hispanics, Kurt! -(snapping)
1867
01:18:40,483 --> 01:18:42,551
Hey, everybody.
1868
01:18:42,585 --> 01:18:44,087
Listen.
1869
01:18:44,120 --> 01:18:45,889
I am profoundly disappointed
1870
01:18:45,922 --> 01:18:48,724
in the comments
that I just made.
1871
01:18:48,758 --> 01:18:52,095
My words and/or actions
1872
01:18:52,128 --> 01:18:55,598
do not represent
who I am as a person and...
1873
01:18:55,631 --> 01:18:57,733
-Teachable moment.
-It is a teachable moment.
1874
01:18:57,767 --> 01:19:00,870
It's something I think
we can all learn from.
1875
01:19:00,904 --> 01:19:02,238
And in that way, I feel like
1876
01:19:02,271 --> 01:19:03,773
-I have given you a gift.
-(phone ringing)
1877
01:19:03,807 --> 01:19:05,775
-(quietly): You have my heart.
-And from this moment on,
1878
01:19:05,809 --> 01:19:07,376
I vow to make this office
1879
01:19:07,410 --> 01:19:11,647
a color- and gender-neutral
work environment.
1880
01:19:11,680 --> 01:19:13,783
-(phone continues ringing)
-That is my...
1881
01:19:13,817 --> 01:19:16,085
-Are you gonna get that?
-(phone clicks, ringing stops)
1882
01:19:16,119 --> 01:19:18,321
Ringing off the fucking hook.
1883
01:19:18,354 --> 01:19:19,923
TINA (over phone):
A hundred percent.
1884
01:19:19,956 --> 01:19:21,424
GARY:
What do you mean, you're sure?
1885
01:19:21,457 --> 01:19:22,959
TINA:
I'm sure.
1886
01:19:22,992 --> 01:19:24,928
GARY: You're sure,
or you're just pretty sure?
1887
01:19:24,961 --> 01:19:26,595
-TINA: 100% sure.
-GARY: Okay.
1888
01:19:26,629 --> 01:19:29,933
Okay, Tina. Better not be
another nun situation.
1889
01:19:29,966 --> 01:19:31,667
TINA:
It's not.
1890
01:19:31,700 --> 01:19:33,469
GARY:
Hey. Is your dad here?
1891
01:19:33,502 --> 01:19:35,071
Yeah. Dad!
1892
01:19:35,104 --> 01:19:37,540
-JACK: Yeah?
-Come on in, Colonel.
1893
01:19:41,110 --> 01:19:44,447
So, um, we can't win.
1894
01:19:47,016 --> 01:19:51,454
The people in this town
are pretty set in their ways.
1895
01:19:51,487 --> 01:19:53,156
And we lost the eight nuns.
1896
01:19:53,189 --> 01:19:54,457
That wasn't good.
1897
01:19:54,490 --> 01:19:57,560
So, we can't win.
1898
01:19:59,128 --> 01:20:03,166
Uh... y-you know,
we appreciate all you done.
1899
01:20:03,199 --> 01:20:06,435
I mean, the campaign and, uh...
1900
01:20:06,469 --> 01:20:09,705
I'm just sorry
we let you down, but...
1901
01:20:09,738 --> 01:20:13,176
well, all I can say
is thank you.
1902
01:20:13,209 --> 01:20:15,544
Really, Gary,
thank you for everything.
1903
01:20:15,578 --> 01:20:17,013
It was a hell of a ride.
1904
01:20:17,046 --> 01:20:20,049
-(both laughing)
-GARY: Are you shitting me?
1905
01:20:20,083 --> 01:20:22,351
All I have to say is
we can't win,
1906
01:20:22,385 --> 01:20:24,687
and you're-you're through,
you're out.
1907
01:20:24,720 --> 01:20:26,489
-You said we can't win.
-Unless.
1908
01:20:26,522 --> 01:20:28,624
We can't win unless...
1909
01:20:28,657 --> 01:20:30,226
You didn't let me finish.
1910
01:20:30,259 --> 01:20:33,863
We can't win unless
it turns out that this town
1911
01:20:33,897 --> 01:20:36,499
isn't the Mayberry
everybody thinks it is.
1912
01:20:36,532 --> 01:20:38,201
I just got a little piece
of intel
1913
01:20:38,234 --> 01:20:39,869
that's kind of intriguing.
1914
01:20:39,903 --> 01:20:44,340
So, the mayor's brother Ziggy,
he had an Oxy problem.
1915
01:20:44,373 --> 01:20:47,543
Well, he was a roofer
and got hurt on the job.
1916
01:20:47,576 --> 01:20:49,312
Yes, well,
what you might not know
1917
01:20:49,345 --> 01:20:52,415
is that the mayor
pulled some strings,
1918
01:20:52,448 --> 01:20:55,351
kept him out of jail,
got him into rehab.
1919
01:20:55,384 --> 01:20:57,153
That is abuse of power,
nepotism.
1920
01:20:57,186 --> 01:20:59,555
-Probably some clerical shit
in there. -(laughs): Come on.
1921
01:20:59,588 --> 01:21:01,190
Gary.
1922
01:21:01,224 --> 01:21:03,026
But we're the good guys, right?
1923
01:21:03,059 --> 01:21:05,361
Yeah, we're the good guys.
1924
01:21:05,394 --> 01:21:07,730
When they go low...
1925
01:21:07,763 --> 01:21:09,398
We go high.
1926
01:21:09,432 --> 01:21:12,035
Unless we also need to go low,
apparently. (chuckles)
1927
01:21:12,068 --> 01:21:14,904
Only to keep those who
would go lower out of power.
1928
01:21:14,938 --> 01:21:17,406
So, when they go low,
we go higher,
1929
01:21:17,440 --> 01:21:19,542
incrementally, in relation
to how low they went.
1930
01:21:19,575 --> 01:21:21,677
Regrettably, yes.
1931
01:21:21,710 --> 01:21:24,013
When they go low,
we go almost as low,
1932
01:21:24,047 --> 01:21:25,681
but we feel worse doing it.
1933
01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:27,416
You think they thought twice
about making your dad
1934
01:21:27,450 --> 01:21:29,785
look like a PTS nutcase?
1935
01:21:29,818 --> 01:21:31,220
And I'm going low because
1936
01:21:31,254 --> 01:21:33,056
I'm gonna tell the truth
about the mayor?
1937
01:21:33,089 --> 01:21:35,124
His brother's fragile, Gary.
1938
01:21:35,158 --> 01:21:36,559
This town is fragile.
1939
01:21:36,592 --> 01:21:38,861
The whole area is fragile.
Our democracy.
1940
01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:41,697
(scoffs) Stop.
We're not doing it.
1941
01:21:41,730 --> 01:21:44,100
Okay?
People are gonna get hurt.
1942
01:21:44,133 --> 01:21:45,935
I'm sorry-- I really am--
1943
01:21:45,969 --> 01:21:49,072
but sometimes good people
have to do shitty things
1944
01:21:49,105 --> 01:21:51,407
in service of the greater good.
1945
01:21:51,440 --> 01:21:53,109
Isn't that right, Colonel?
1946
01:21:59,582 --> 01:22:01,584
-(door opens)
-DIANA: Hey.
1947
01:22:05,154 --> 01:22:06,322
Hey.
1948
01:22:06,355 --> 01:22:08,124
Yeah?
1949
01:22:08,157 --> 01:22:10,193
-Gary, stop.
-(Gary sighs)
1950
01:22:11,627 --> 01:22:13,496
(scoffs):
What?
1951
01:22:13,529 --> 01:22:16,065
Is this politics?
1952
01:22:16,099 --> 01:22:18,301
It's not politics anymore,
Diana.
1953
01:22:18,334 --> 01:22:20,303
It's... it's math.
1954
01:22:20,336 --> 01:22:21,770
That's what an election is.
1955
01:22:21,804 --> 01:22:23,106
It's just math.
1956
01:22:23,139 --> 01:22:25,808
We need what they get plus one.
1957
01:22:25,841 --> 01:22:27,510
That's all.
1958
01:22:27,543 --> 01:22:29,478
And if I can't get that
1959
01:22:29,512 --> 01:22:31,614
by getting more people
to vote for your dad,
1960
01:22:31,647 --> 01:22:35,351
then I have to get fewer people
to vote for Braun.
1961
01:22:35,384 --> 01:22:36,819
(Gary sighing softly)
1962
01:22:40,889 --> 01:22:42,891
*
1963
01:22:47,896 --> 01:22:51,467
(vehicle unlocks, door opens)
1964
01:22:51,500 --> 01:22:53,836
-(door closes)
-(knocking)
1965
01:22:55,338 --> 01:22:57,340
(footsteps approaching)
1966
01:23:00,876 --> 01:23:02,911
(sighs) Hi.
1967
01:23:04,313 --> 01:23:06,849
-Come on in.
-Thank you.
1968
01:23:06,882 --> 01:23:08,517
I'm so sorry.
1969
01:23:11,520 --> 01:23:14,557
I... I'm pulling the plug.
1970
01:23:14,590 --> 01:23:17,126
-Hey, hey. -I mean,
we have the money we need.
1971
01:23:17,160 --> 01:23:18,961
We have more than
we would need.
1972
01:23:18,994 --> 01:23:21,897
And this would...
destroy your brother.
1973
01:23:23,099 --> 01:23:26,335
-And I'm just so sorry.
-Hey.
1974
01:23:27,703 --> 01:23:30,906
You have nothing
to be sorry for.
1975
01:23:32,007 --> 01:23:34,810
You saved us, Diana.
1976
01:23:34,843 --> 01:23:37,646
-Mm-hmm.
-This place was done.
1977
01:23:37,680 --> 01:23:41,084
Just another town in the middle
of nowhere, going nowhere.
1978
01:23:41,117 --> 01:23:45,354
And everyone agreed--
yours was the best idea we had.
1979
01:23:45,388 --> 01:23:48,157
Unless you want to go back
to the two Mikes' idea of...
1980
01:23:48,191 --> 01:23:50,426
(chuckling):
ostrich meat farms.
1981
01:23:51,794 --> 01:23:54,363
Diana, you moving back here,
1982
01:23:54,397 --> 01:23:56,365
caring so much...
1983
01:23:56,399 --> 01:23:58,867
I mean, this whole thing...
1984
01:23:58,901 --> 01:24:00,403
(Braun sighs)
1985
01:24:00,436 --> 01:24:04,840
Well, I just know
how proud of you your dad is
1986
01:24:04,873 --> 01:24:07,110
and how proud
your mom would be.
1987
01:24:09,145 --> 01:24:13,616
And how grateful
every single one of us are
1988
01:24:13,649 --> 01:24:16,452
for what you've done
and everything you've given.
1989
01:24:18,221 --> 01:24:20,223
It's working.
1990
01:24:25,394 --> 01:24:27,396
(sighs):
Okay.
1991
01:24:31,600 --> 01:24:33,802
What do we do about Gary?
1992
01:24:34,837 --> 01:24:38,040
Whatever Gary thinks he's got,
1993
01:24:38,073 --> 01:24:40,343
why don't we just give him
something better?
1994
01:24:42,611 --> 01:24:45,013
*
1995
01:24:47,950 --> 01:24:49,585
(sighs)
1996
01:24:49,618 --> 01:24:51,620
(footsteps in hallway)
1997
01:25:04,367 --> 01:25:05,901
Hmm.
1998
01:25:05,934 --> 01:25:07,670
GARY:
No, forget the rehab thing.
1999
01:25:07,703 --> 01:25:09,972
This is bigger. Obviously, you
can't use my name, so just--
2000
01:25:10,005 --> 01:25:12,175
"Senior official
with inside knowledge
2001
01:25:12,208 --> 01:25:13,742
of campaign strategy."
2002
01:25:13,776 --> 01:25:15,311
Yes, you are welcome.
2003
01:25:15,344 --> 01:25:16,612
KURT:
Tell me they're running it.
2004
01:25:16,645 --> 01:25:18,147
-They are running it.
-Oh, yeah, baby!
2005
01:25:18,181 --> 01:25:20,015
-Shit's gonna hit the fan.
-Oh, it feels good.
2006
01:25:20,048 --> 01:25:22,084
Now, the word of the day
is "disappointed."
2007
01:25:22,117 --> 01:25:24,587
We are not mad at the mayor.
We are not shocked.
2008
01:25:24,620 --> 01:25:26,489
-We're just disappointed.
-Yeah, I am disappointed.
2009
01:25:26,522 --> 01:25:28,424
-I'm disappointed, too.
-I mean, it's disappointing.
2010
01:25:28,457 --> 01:25:30,626
-It is. You know what, he's
the mayor. -He betrayed us.
2011
01:25:30,659 --> 01:25:32,261
GARY: He betrayed us,
and it's disappointing.
2012
01:25:32,295 --> 01:25:33,862
-KURT: I'm hurt.
-But I'm not mad.
2013
01:25:33,896 --> 01:25:35,998
-KURT: No, I'm just
disappointed. -Me, too.
2014
01:25:36,031 --> 01:25:37,466
Tonight, we have this picture
2015
01:25:37,500 --> 01:25:39,034
of the alleged
ten-year-old love child
2016
01:25:39,067 --> 01:25:41,304
of the Wisconsin mayor
and the girl's mother.
2017
01:25:41,337 --> 01:25:43,839
We've obscured the child's face
to protect her identity
2018
01:25:43,872 --> 01:25:45,140
but left enough clues
2019
01:25:45,174 --> 01:25:47,343
so that you can probably
figure it out.
2020
01:25:47,376 --> 01:25:49,378
NEWSWOMAN: To discuss this
important, late-breaking story,
2021
01:25:49,412 --> 01:25:51,280
we go to our panel
with a feature
2022
01:25:51,314 --> 01:25:55,451
you'll only see here on CNN:
the Duodecabox.
2023
01:25:55,484 --> 01:25:58,521
What do you think,
Phil, Diane, Liz, Carl,
2024
01:25:58,554 --> 01:26:00,823
Barbara and... let's say Craig?
2025
01:26:00,856 --> 01:26:02,891
(all talking at once)
2026
01:26:05,861 --> 01:26:07,763
(Faith grunts angrily)
2027
01:26:10,733 --> 01:26:12,568
Kaylee?
2028
01:26:12,601 --> 01:26:14,002
-Kaylee.
-Y-Yeah.
2029
01:26:14,036 --> 01:26:15,838
-Can you clean this up, please?
-Oh, sure.
2030
01:26:15,871 --> 01:26:18,040
It was an accident
with the sandwich. Thank you.
2031
01:26:21,344 --> 01:26:23,346
*
2032
01:26:31,287 --> 01:26:33,289
(indistinct chatter)
2033
01:26:42,130 --> 01:26:43,699
Hey, man.
2034
01:26:43,732 --> 01:26:45,601
Can I talk to you
about white power?
2035
01:26:45,634 --> 01:26:47,636
(indistinct chatter)
2036
01:26:48,937 --> 01:26:50,439
MAN:
Yeah, guns save lives.
2037
01:26:50,473 --> 01:26:51,807
-Thank you, sir.
-Thank you.
2038
01:27:00,749 --> 01:27:02,385
It has been
a hard-fought campaign,
2039
01:27:02,418 --> 01:27:04,553
but now it's in the hands
of the voters.
2040
01:27:04,587 --> 01:27:06,922
And excuse me-- there's
the Colonel right there.
2041
01:27:06,955 --> 01:27:08,223
-(Jack chuckling)
-Colonel, come on in.
2042
01:27:08,257 --> 01:27:09,425
-Diana.
-Hi. -Hi. Good morning.
2043
01:27:09,458 --> 01:27:10,559
Did you get some rest?
2044
01:27:10,593 --> 01:27:12,094
Yeah, we got a little bit.
2045
01:27:12,127 --> 01:27:13,596
-Excuse us, folks.
-Good morning. Good morning.
2046
01:27:13,629 --> 01:27:15,864
-Excuse us. Excuse us.
-(reporters clamoring)
2047
01:27:15,898 --> 01:27:17,266
BRAUN:
There he is.
2048
01:27:17,300 --> 01:27:18,801
-Billy. Hey.
-Colonel, good to see you, sir.
2049
01:27:18,834 --> 01:27:20,303
-How are you? How are you?
-Good to see you.
2050
01:27:20,336 --> 01:27:21,570
How about a picture?
2051
01:27:21,604 --> 01:27:23,105
-All righty.
-(chuckles)
2052
01:27:23,138 --> 01:27:24,373
FAITH:
Come on. Come on.
2053
01:27:24,407 --> 01:27:25,641
-Let's go. Let's go.
-Thank you.
2054
01:27:25,674 --> 01:27:27,543
Oh, make sure you get
this guy's I.D.
2055
01:27:27,576 --> 01:27:29,044
-(laughter)
-FAITH: Okay.
2056
01:27:29,077 --> 01:27:30,713
Billy, we're just talking
to Fox. Just Fox.
2057
01:27:30,746 --> 01:27:33,382
-JACK: Hello. Good morning.
-Good morning, Jack.
2058
01:27:33,416 --> 01:27:35,484
-Sign right there.
-Yeah. All right.
2059
01:27:35,518 --> 01:27:36,952
Your dad is really something.
2060
01:27:36,985 --> 01:27:38,421
-(chuckling): Yeah.
-He's done a great job.
2061
01:27:38,454 --> 01:27:39,788
-Yeah, yeah.
-JACK: Go over here?
2062
01:27:39,822 --> 01:27:41,424
So have you.
Thank you for everything.
2063
01:27:41,457 --> 01:27:42,758
-It's been...
-My pleasure.
2064
01:27:42,791 --> 01:27:44,159
-So...
-I was thinking, maybe later,
2065
01:27:44,192 --> 01:27:46,061
if you want to watch
the returns come in?
2066
01:27:46,094 --> 01:27:48,196
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'd love to.
2067
01:27:49,632 --> 01:27:51,934
Oh. Oh, shoot.
2068
01:27:51,967 --> 01:27:54,269
You know what? I have to
head back to the farm,
2069
01:27:54,303 --> 01:27:55,738
-but I'll see you later, okay?
-Okay.
2070
01:27:55,771 --> 01:27:57,440
Okay.
2071
01:27:57,473 --> 01:27:59,608
Diana, aren't you gonna vote?
2072
01:28:06,615 --> 01:28:08,183
GARY:
Nothing?
2073
01:28:08,216 --> 01:28:10,285
-No early returns?
-MAN: Nothing.
2074
01:28:10,319 --> 01:28:12,521
-What about exit polling?
-No exit polling.
2075
01:28:12,555 --> 01:28:13,989
Well, is there
another precinct?
2076
01:28:14,022 --> 01:28:15,157
No.
2077
01:28:15,190 --> 01:28:16,592
Well, where else can they vote?
2078
01:28:16,625 --> 01:28:17,860
Well, they can't vote
anywhere else.
2079
01:28:17,893 --> 01:28:19,362
Was it all early voting?
2080
01:28:19,395 --> 01:28:21,296
No early voting, no.
Nothing.
2081
01:28:21,330 --> 01:28:23,098
What do you mean,
nobody has voted yet?
2082
01:28:23,131 --> 01:28:24,500
Uh, big guy.
2083
01:28:24,533 --> 01:28:25,868
You're gonna want to see this.
2084
01:28:25,901 --> 01:28:27,169
...smear Mayor Braun
with the falsehood
2085
01:28:27,202 --> 01:28:28,637
of an illegitimate child.
2086
01:28:28,671 --> 01:28:30,706
Which, as the report
you just read stated,
2087
01:28:30,739 --> 01:28:32,841
is actually the man's
dear niece.
2088
01:28:32,875 --> 01:28:35,110
Has the Hastings campaign
apologized?
2089
01:28:35,143 --> 01:28:37,212
FAITH: Uh, no, they haven't,
and it-it's too late for that.
2090
01:28:37,245 --> 01:28:38,981
-GARY: Oh, fuck!
-Mayor Braun continues to
2091
01:28:39,014 --> 01:28:40,516
focus on the issues.
2092
01:28:40,549 --> 01:28:41,950
And quite frankly, Brooke,
2093
01:28:41,984 --> 01:28:43,852
the media owes the mayor
an apology, as well,
2094
01:28:43,886 --> 01:28:46,389
for credulously covering
a poorly sourced story.
2095
01:28:46,422 --> 01:28:48,223
Faith! Congratulations.
Well done.
2096
01:28:48,256 --> 01:28:50,192
-What the fuck are you doing?
-A new low.
2097
01:28:50,225 --> 01:28:51,860
Oh, yeah, like I leaked
a cocked-up story
2098
01:28:51,894 --> 01:28:53,529
about a bastard child
who happens to be
2099
01:28:53,562 --> 01:28:54,963
the man's fucking niece.
2100
01:28:54,997 --> 01:28:56,365
-Please, Gary.
-You fed me that bullshit.
2101
01:28:56,399 --> 01:28:57,500
You know, go fuck yourself.
2102
01:28:57,533 --> 01:28:59,034
-You go fuck yourself.
-You go fuck your...
2103
01:28:59,067 --> 01:29:00,302
BROOKE (chuckling):
Okay, you two.
2104
01:29:00,335 --> 01:29:02,004
Unfortunately, we're gonna
have to leave it there.
2105
01:29:02,037 --> 01:29:03,472
Thank you so much, Brooke.
2106
01:29:03,506 --> 01:29:04,707
-Thank you so much.
-Thanks, Brooke.
2107
01:29:04,740 --> 01:29:05,808
-Thank you.
-CAMERAMAN: We're clear.
2108
01:29:05,841 --> 01:29:08,043
Why would I leak this? Huh?
2109
01:29:08,076 --> 01:29:09,745
Oh, to just make me
take the bait.
2110
01:29:09,778 --> 01:29:11,346
You didn't just want to win.
2111
01:29:11,380 --> 01:29:13,215
You wanted to castrate me,
didn't you?
2112
01:29:13,248 --> 01:29:14,683
If I wanted to cut
your dick off,
2113
01:29:14,717 --> 01:29:16,385
I would have done it
in front of you
2114
01:29:16,419 --> 01:29:19,121
just to see the last look
of horror in your eyes.
2115
01:29:20,122 --> 01:29:21,690
You're telling the truth.
2116
01:29:21,724 --> 01:29:23,325
No shit.
2117
01:29:23,358 --> 01:29:25,227
What the fuck is going on here?
2118
01:29:25,260 --> 01:29:26,529
BECCA:
Evan?
2119
01:29:26,562 --> 01:29:27,896
What...
2120
01:29:27,930 --> 01:29:29,097
Evan.
2121
01:29:29,131 --> 01:29:30,232
(laughing):
Evan, oh, my God.
2122
01:29:30,265 --> 01:29:31,600
-What's up, Becca?
-How the hell are you?
2123
01:29:31,634 --> 01:29:33,168
-Hiya. Nice to see you.
-Good to see you.
2124
01:29:33,201 --> 01:29:35,170
-How's everything?
-Yeah, I mean, it's going.
2125
01:29:35,203 --> 01:29:37,272
What the hell?
2126
01:29:37,305 --> 01:29:39,207
How the hell does he know her?
2127
01:29:39,241 --> 01:29:40,776
Is he from here?
2128
01:29:40,809 --> 01:29:43,879
Gary, look at his shoes.
I mean, really.
2129
01:29:43,912 --> 01:29:45,914
And we have Alan to thank
for bringing this man
2130
01:29:45,948 --> 01:29:47,282
-to our attention.
-It's Evan.
2131
01:29:47,315 --> 01:29:48,717
Did I happen to mention that...
2132
01:29:48,751 --> 01:29:51,086
Holy shit.
2133
01:29:51,119 --> 01:29:53,422
-What? What?
-Come on!
2134
01:29:53,456 --> 01:29:57,893
ALDERMAN: So, with 100%
of the vote counted,
2135
01:29:57,926 --> 01:30:01,396
the mayoral race is tied.
2136
01:30:01,430 --> 01:30:03,532
-(laughter)
-One vote to one vote.
2137
01:30:03,566 --> 01:30:05,067
(cheering)
2138
01:30:05,100 --> 01:30:06,435
GARY:
No.
2139
01:30:06,469 --> 01:30:08,771
Okay, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
2140
01:30:08,804 --> 01:30:11,073
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
2141
01:30:11,106 --> 01:30:12,908
Hold on. I, uh...
2142
01:30:12,941 --> 01:30:15,277
I don't...
I don't know exactly
2143
01:30:15,310 --> 01:30:18,280
what's going on here,
but it's weird.
2144
01:30:18,313 --> 01:30:19,782
Could somebody please
explain to me
2145
01:30:19,815 --> 01:30:21,484
-what's happening?
-Well, we had an election.
2146
01:30:21,517 --> 01:30:23,719
-Yes, I know that.
-And we gave it our best.
2147
01:30:23,752 --> 01:30:24,920
Just didn't work out.
2148
01:30:24,953 --> 01:30:26,455
Didn't work out, Jack?
Come on.
2149
01:30:26,489 --> 01:30:28,624
Do you know how much money
we invested in this?
2150
01:30:28,657 --> 01:30:30,559
Yeah, if the news media
is to be believed,
2151
01:30:30,593 --> 01:30:34,497
more than $45 million was
raised between the two of you.
2152
01:30:34,530 --> 01:30:36,098
-(laughing)
-(cheering, applause)
2153
01:30:40,168 --> 01:30:42,605
(laughing)
2154
01:30:42,638 --> 01:30:45,674
Oh, shit.
2155
01:30:45,708 --> 01:30:47,743
Did you sucker me, Jack?
2156
01:30:47,776 --> 01:30:49,845
I guess.
2157
01:30:49,878 --> 01:30:51,914
GARY:
You know what? Folks, sorry,
2158
01:30:51,947 --> 01:30:53,248
but I'm getting
all that money back.
2159
01:30:53,281 --> 01:30:54,316
From where?
2160
01:30:54,349 --> 01:30:56,685
We put millions
into those PACs.
2161
01:30:56,719 --> 01:30:58,621
Well, campaign finance law says
2162
01:30:58,654 --> 01:31:00,856
that money needn't be
accounted for.
2163
01:31:00,889 --> 01:31:02,991
-(laughter, applause)
-Oh, my God.
2164
01:31:03,025 --> 01:31:05,027
I got to give it to this place.
2165
01:31:06,061 --> 01:31:08,163
Hey, Alan.
2166
01:31:08,196 --> 01:31:09,331
Uh, it's Evan.
2167
01:31:09,364 --> 01:31:10,633
Shit weasel.
2168
01:31:10,666 --> 01:31:12,501
You're from this town,
aren't you?
2169
01:31:12,535 --> 01:31:14,469
-Yeah.
-You set this whole thing up.
2170
01:31:14,503 --> 01:31:16,038
You set me up, huh?
2171
01:31:16,071 --> 01:31:18,807
You are so fired,
and you're going to jail!
2172
01:31:18,841 --> 01:31:20,142
Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
2173
01:31:20,175 --> 01:31:21,777
It was me. I did it.
2174
01:31:21,810 --> 01:31:23,211
You?
2175
01:31:24,412 --> 01:31:25,948
(scoffs):
Wh...
2176
01:31:25,981 --> 01:31:27,315
Why?
2177
01:31:27,349 --> 01:31:29,351
You know...
2178
01:31:29,384 --> 01:31:32,387
(laughing): it was just
this weird idea I had
2179
01:31:32,420 --> 01:31:34,289
'cause the town needed money.
2180
01:31:34,322 --> 01:31:36,625
(chuckles)
So you...
2181
01:31:36,659 --> 01:31:38,160
Uh, shot the video,
2182
01:31:38,193 --> 01:31:41,296
and then had Evan
show it to you.
2183
01:31:41,329 --> 01:31:42,464
Uh, I...
2184
01:31:42,497 --> 01:31:45,133
We needed 750 grand
over three years
2185
01:31:45,167 --> 01:31:46,969
to keep the school
from closing down.
2186
01:31:47,002 --> 01:31:48,904
We blew way past that.
2187
01:31:48,937 --> 01:31:51,273
We got enough to buy back
the base, redevelop it.
2188
01:31:52,875 --> 01:31:56,478
And the speech,
the viral speech?
2189
01:31:56,511 --> 01:31:58,046
BRAUN:
Can I get a motion to vote?
2190
01:31:58,080 --> 01:31:59,347
JACK: Actually,
I'm here about that...
2191
01:31:59,381 --> 01:32:01,650
Fuck, what's the word?
Resolution.
2192
01:32:01,684 --> 01:32:04,152
-I'll get it. -DIANA: Mike,
do you want to help him and...
2193
01:32:04,186 --> 01:32:05,520
Yeah.
2194
01:32:05,554 --> 01:32:07,422
Just have it low enough.
2195
01:32:07,455 --> 01:32:09,057
BRAUN: Just leave enough room
for that road sign in there.
2196
01:32:09,091 --> 01:32:10,693
-Uh, am I supposed to have
these on? -DIANA: No glasses.
2197
01:32:10,726 --> 01:32:13,361
-I'm lost.
-(laughter)
2198
01:32:13,395 --> 01:32:14,730
DIANA (sighs):
Okay, Dad, that's good,
2199
01:32:14,763 --> 01:32:16,364
but you have to leave after.
2200
01:32:16,398 --> 01:32:17,399
All right, one more time.
2201
01:32:17,432 --> 01:32:19,768
I guess they weren't
principles.
2202
01:32:21,203 --> 01:32:23,305
They're just hobbies.
2203
01:32:30,445 --> 01:32:32,514
DIANA:
Holy shit, I think we got it.
2204
01:32:32,547 --> 01:32:34,583
-(laughter, cheering)
-Oh, thank God.
2205
01:32:40,555 --> 01:32:43,158
(cheering, whooping)
2206
01:32:46,729 --> 01:32:48,864
That was really just
baiting the hook.
2207
01:32:48,897 --> 01:32:51,399
You guys took it from there.
I was never expecting her.
2208
01:32:51,433 --> 01:32:53,335
Oh, I had a fucking blast.
2209
01:32:54,837 --> 01:32:56,772
So you used me.
2210
01:32:58,774 --> 01:33:00,542
We used you?
2211
01:33:00,575 --> 01:33:03,545
You guys only show up here
once every four years,
2212
01:33:03,578 --> 01:33:05,814
and only then
'cause it's a swing state.
2213
01:33:05,848 --> 01:33:08,416
And then, when it's over,
you're gone.
2214
01:33:08,450 --> 01:33:09,818
But we're still here
2215
01:33:09,852 --> 01:33:12,254
with all the same problems
we had before,
2216
01:33:12,287 --> 01:33:14,122
just waiting around
for you to come back
2217
01:33:14,156 --> 01:33:16,859
and make the same
empty promises as last time.
2218
01:33:17,926 --> 01:33:19,728
We used the system.
2219
01:33:19,762 --> 01:33:21,296
You make millions of dollars
2220
01:33:21,329 --> 01:33:22,965
funneling tens of millions
of dollars
2221
01:33:22,998 --> 01:33:27,169
into this election economy.
2222
01:33:27,202 --> 01:33:30,272
All we did is take a cut.
2223
01:33:31,707 --> 01:33:33,608
Hmm.
2224
01:33:33,642 --> 01:33:35,010
Well...
2225
01:33:35,043 --> 01:33:37,646
I guess I just...
2226
01:33:37,680 --> 01:33:42,450
I thought that maybe you and I
had a little something.
2227
01:33:42,484 --> 01:33:44,219
(chuckles softly)
2228
01:33:46,955 --> 01:33:49,825
(chuckling):
I'm 28. I mean...
2229
01:33:49,858 --> 01:33:53,696
In what world
would this be okay?
2230
01:33:55,964 --> 01:33:58,166
D.C. and L.A.,
parts of New York,
2231
01:33:58,200 --> 01:33:59,968
-Miami, maybe Dallas.
-Mm.
2232
01:34:00,002 --> 01:34:02,037
(chuckles)
2233
01:34:02,070 --> 01:34:04,072
Look...
2234
01:34:05,173 --> 01:34:07,542
-It wasn't personal.
-Mm.
2235
01:34:07,575 --> 01:34:09,177
It was math.
2236
01:34:09,211 --> 01:34:10,813
Math.
2237
01:34:12,047 --> 01:34:15,984
But this system,
the way we elect people,
2238
01:34:16,018 --> 01:34:17,986
it's terrifying.
2239
01:34:18,020 --> 01:34:20,022
And exhausting.
2240
01:34:20,055 --> 01:34:23,225
And I think it's
driving us all insane.
2241
01:34:26,528 --> 01:34:27,930
(chuckles)
2242
01:34:29,097 --> 01:34:31,633
*
2243
01:34:31,666 --> 01:34:33,401
BIG MIKE: You know what
the real problem here
2244
01:34:33,435 --> 01:34:35,403
is that the media
is completely complicit
2245
01:34:35,437 --> 01:34:37,172
-in this sort of thing.
-Oh, I absolutely agree.
2246
01:34:37,205 --> 01:34:38,540
I mean, it's like
Neil Postman said--
2247
01:34:38,573 --> 01:34:39,975
in entertaining ourselves,
2248
01:34:40,008 --> 01:34:41,744
-news has become entertainment.
-Yeah. Yeah.
2249
01:34:41,777 --> 01:34:43,712
-And when that happens...
(sputters) it's gone. -Yeah.
2250
01:34:43,746 --> 01:34:45,347
I thought he knew.
I mean, I would get so nervous
2251
01:34:45,380 --> 01:34:47,049
-every time he would come in.
I would just, like... -Oh, no.
2252
01:34:47,082 --> 01:34:48,316
I couldn't get
my coffee order right,
2253
01:34:48,350 --> 01:34:49,684
and I was giving him
the wrong thing.
2254
01:34:49,718 --> 01:34:51,086
Oh, you were great.
You were perfect.
2255
01:34:51,119 --> 01:34:52,554
Plus, you know, he has,
you know,
2256
01:34:52,587 --> 01:34:54,222
dreamy eyes a little bit,
so, I mean...
2257
01:34:54,256 --> 01:34:55,724
-Yeah.
-He's-he's dashing.
2258
01:34:55,758 --> 01:34:57,926
He actually made me cry.
2259
01:34:57,960 --> 01:35:00,395
-He was, like, a shithead.
-Yeah.
2260
01:35:00,428 --> 01:35:02,197
It metastasizes,
so it-it's growing
2261
01:35:02,230 --> 01:35:03,565
-and-and whatever, so...
-Yeah.
2262
01:35:03,598 --> 01:35:05,033
Well, it becomes...
it's sort of like
2263
01:35:05,067 --> 01:35:06,368
any sort of
autoimmune disorder.
2264
01:35:06,401 --> 01:35:07,702
-Yeah.
-It's like... it's like lupus.
2265
01:35:07,736 --> 01:35:09,004
Know what I mean?
2266
01:35:09,037 --> 01:35:10,505
That's actually
a really great metaphor.
2267
01:35:10,538 --> 01:35:12,374
-That's... that's like...
-It's a simile.
2268
01:35:12,407 --> 01:35:13,842
-'Cause you said...
-'Cause I said...
2269
01:35:13,876 --> 01:35:15,543
-I said it's "like."
-You said it's "like."
2270
01:35:15,577 --> 01:35:16,912
Yeah, right.
It's like lupus.
2271
01:35:18,313 --> 01:35:21,083
What a clusterfuck.
2272
01:35:21,116 --> 01:35:23,118
Amen.
2273
01:35:27,455 --> 01:35:29,024
DIANA:
How we looking?
2274
01:35:29,057 --> 01:35:31,960
Well, they're saying
these, uh, back acres
2275
01:35:31,994 --> 01:35:35,463
are gonna become the over-55
community health center.
2276
01:35:35,497 --> 01:35:37,265
-Uh-huh.
-Madison has promised
2277
01:35:37,299 --> 01:35:38,934
a satellite campus
for the front.
2278
01:35:38,967 --> 01:35:41,103
Okay. And you know
that we have to redo
2279
01:35:41,136 --> 01:35:42,570
the septic on the back 50?
2280
01:35:42,604 --> 01:35:43,872
-We heard all about it.
-Okay.
2281
01:35:43,906 --> 01:35:44,940
Hey, you.
2282
01:35:44,973 --> 01:35:46,408
Oh, hey, you.
2283
01:35:46,441 --> 01:35:49,111
-(chuckling)
-She is something, huh?
2284
01:35:55,250 --> 01:35:57,252
DIANA:
Are you listening to me?
2285
01:35:59,922 --> 01:36:01,924
(Faith's voice):
Are you listening to me?
2286
01:36:03,325 --> 01:36:05,627
ANN:
Are you listening to me?
2287
01:36:05,660 --> 01:36:06,995
Oh, Gary, honey.
2288
01:36:07,029 --> 01:36:08,563
(sighs)
I'm just so excited.
2289
01:36:08,596 --> 01:36:10,632
I can't wait till we get
the café tables in.
2290
01:36:10,665 --> 01:36:14,636
I think people are really gonna
like those a lot, you know?
2291
01:36:14,669 --> 01:36:17,806
-And then we can put
the umbrellas up. -Mm-hmm.
2292
01:36:17,840 --> 01:36:20,642
And people can just sit outside
and have coffee and...
2293
01:36:20,675 --> 01:36:21,910
You know.
2294
01:36:21,944 --> 01:36:23,345
Are you...
are you listening to me?
2295
01:36:23,378 --> 01:36:25,680
-Mm-hmm, mm...
-Are you listening to me?
2296
01:36:25,713 --> 01:36:27,950
(Faith's voice):
Hey, fuckup. Hey, fuckup.
2297
01:36:27,983 --> 01:36:30,752
-Are you listening to me?
-GARY: Yes, yes, yes.
2298
01:36:30,785 --> 01:36:32,354
I'm listening to you.
2299
01:36:32,387 --> 01:36:34,957
You don't open a dossier
for less than $2 million.
2300
01:36:34,990 --> 01:36:37,659
I know. That's what I'm talking
to them about right now.
2301
01:36:37,692 --> 01:36:39,027
$2 million.
2302
01:36:39,061 --> 01:36:40,628
God, I hate you.
2303
01:36:40,662 --> 01:36:42,264
Ditto.
2304
01:36:42,297 --> 01:36:44,266
*
2305
01:36:44,299 --> 01:36:46,134
MAN (over phone):
Gary?
2306
01:36:46,168 --> 01:36:48,470
Gary, you there?
2307
01:36:48,503 --> 01:36:50,538
Gary?
2308
01:36:50,572 --> 01:36:52,474
Yo, Gary.
2309
01:36:54,709 --> 01:36:55,978
Ah, cheers!
2310
01:36:56,011 --> 01:36:58,046
(excited chatter)
2311
01:37:02,350 --> 01:37:04,352
*
2312
01:37:20,368 --> 01:37:22,804
Colonel Jack Hastings,
Deerlaken--
2313
01:37:22,837 --> 01:37:24,873
did the media fall
for a false narrative
2314
01:37:24,907 --> 01:37:27,142
just because it fit
into our preconceived notion
2315
01:37:27,175 --> 01:37:29,711
of the divide of this country
between red and blue
2316
01:37:29,744 --> 01:37:31,914
without actually
checking the facts?
2317
01:37:31,947 --> 01:37:33,916
Were we irresponsible?
2318
01:37:33,949 --> 01:37:35,250
Well, we're the news.
2319
01:37:35,283 --> 01:37:37,920
Are we not supposed to
cover the news?
2320
01:37:37,953 --> 01:37:39,922
I mean, these are
newsworthy stories.
2321
01:37:39,955 --> 01:37:42,357
We're absolutely in the right
to cover them.
2322
01:37:42,390 --> 01:37:46,061
It is literally our job
to cover the news.
2323
01:37:46,094 --> 01:37:47,395
But isn't there a way
to report the news
2324
01:37:47,429 --> 01:37:48,997
without so much speculation,
2325
01:37:49,031 --> 01:37:51,066
without a false sense
of urgency
2326
01:37:51,099 --> 01:37:53,902
that causes us to
breathlessly report "facts"
2327
01:37:53,936 --> 01:37:55,437
that maybe are not facts?
2328
01:37:55,470 --> 01:37:57,505
And are we framing
these stories
2329
01:37:57,539 --> 01:37:59,574
on an artificial
right-left axis
2330
01:37:59,607 --> 01:38:02,444
because that's how
our pundit economy is set up?
2331
01:38:02,477 --> 01:38:04,446
Is there a better way
to do this?
2332
01:38:09,985 --> 01:38:11,186
I'm just kidding.
2333
01:38:11,219 --> 01:38:12,787
Unfortunately,
we have to leave it there.
2334
01:38:12,820 --> 01:38:14,957
-Thank you all for watching.
-(laughing): She's...
2335
01:38:14,990 --> 01:38:16,791
MAN (laughing):
She's good.
2336
01:38:16,824 --> 01:38:19,827
("Mess Is Mine" by Vance Joy
playing)
2337
01:38:22,797 --> 01:38:25,233
* Talking like we used to do
2338
01:38:26,801 --> 01:38:29,237
* It was always me and you
2339
01:38:30,638 --> 01:38:34,442
* Hold on, darling
2340
01:38:35,810 --> 01:38:38,080
* This body is yours
2341
01:38:38,113 --> 01:38:42,250
* This body is yours and mine
2342
01:38:43,651 --> 01:38:49,091
* Well, hold on, my darling
2343
01:38:49,124 --> 01:38:51,826
* This mess was yours
2344
01:38:53,261 --> 01:38:56,464
* Now your mess is mine
2345
01:39:02,204 --> 01:39:05,873
* Ah-ooh
2346
01:39:07,375 --> 01:39:10,278
* Your mess is mine
2347
01:39:10,312 --> 01:39:12,614
* See you in
the marketplace... *
2348
01:39:12,647 --> 01:39:15,283
JON STEWART: Could something
like this happen?
2349
01:39:15,317 --> 01:39:19,487
Legally, this could
absolutely happen.
2350
01:39:19,521 --> 01:39:24,292
Somebody could create
a political organization--
2351
01:39:24,326 --> 01:39:28,296
so-called outside group,
a super PAC, 527--
2352
01:39:28,330 --> 01:39:31,166
raise an unlimited
amount of money,
2353
01:39:31,199 --> 01:39:34,469
and then choose
to give that money
2354
01:39:34,502 --> 01:39:37,339
to another organization,
a charity,
2355
01:39:37,372 --> 01:39:40,342
and use it for public purposes.
2356
01:39:40,375 --> 01:39:43,678
And you don't need
the donors' consent to do that.
2357
01:39:43,711 --> 01:39:45,813
The problem we have is that
2358
01:39:45,847 --> 01:39:49,351
none of the pieces of
the system are working today.
2359
01:39:49,384 --> 01:39:52,854
You have regulators like
the Federal Election Commission
2360
01:39:52,887 --> 01:39:54,722
that don't have a quorum,
can't meet,
2361
01:39:54,756 --> 01:39:57,659
and when they do, they disagree
on what the law is.
2362
01:39:57,692 --> 01:40:01,296
You have Congress deadlocked
so it can't rewrite the laws.
2363
01:40:01,329 --> 01:40:03,331
You have the Supreme Court
2364
01:40:03,365 --> 01:40:07,001
that thinks that
almost nothing is corrupt
2365
01:40:07,035 --> 01:40:11,473
and that citizens won't think
the sale of access--
2366
01:40:11,506 --> 01:40:13,875
what the court calls
ingratiation
2367
01:40:13,908 --> 01:40:18,513
in return for giving money
to candidates-- is a problem.
2368
01:40:18,546 --> 01:40:21,183
STEWART: So, to sum up,
we currently have
2369
01:40:21,216 --> 01:40:22,884
hundreds of millions
to billions of dollars
2370
01:40:22,917 --> 01:40:25,253
that is, uh, uh, untraceable,
2371
01:40:25,287 --> 01:40:27,922
uh, that can pour into groups
2372
01:40:27,955 --> 01:40:30,992
that are actually coordinating
with-with candidates
2373
01:40:31,025 --> 01:40:33,895
who end up having to spend
a good amount of their time
2374
01:40:33,928 --> 01:40:35,863
raising more and more money
to keep up
2375
01:40:35,897 --> 01:40:38,733
with the arms race
that is occurring.
2376
01:40:38,766 --> 01:40:42,870
Uh, the money continues
to pour in and corrupt
2377
01:40:42,904 --> 01:40:45,407
not just where
they spend their time
2378
01:40:45,440 --> 01:40:48,676
and how they spend their time
but on the types of legislation
2379
01:40:48,710 --> 01:40:51,546
that they would even bring
to the fore.
2380
01:40:51,579 --> 01:40:54,449
And the one group
that would be charged
2381
01:40:54,482 --> 01:40:59,554
with regulating, uh,
this spigot, uh, doesn't meet
2382
01:40:59,587 --> 01:41:01,889
'cause there aren't
enough of them.
2383
01:41:01,923 --> 01:41:03,891
Yes.
2384
01:41:03,925 --> 01:41:07,061
(both laughing)
2385
01:41:07,095 --> 01:41:09,231
I realize that's not helpful
to you, but...
2386
01:41:09,264 --> 01:41:11,133
It is very helpful.
Thank you.
2387
01:41:11,166 --> 01:41:12,600
* Ooh
2388
01:41:12,634 --> 01:41:15,337
* Your mess is mine
2389
01:41:18,606 --> 01:41:20,942
* Your mess is mine.
2390
01:41:20,975 --> 01:41:22,577
(song ends)
2391
01:41:22,610 --> 01:41:24,612
*
2392
01:41:56,711 --> 01:41:58,713
(music ends)
163152