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When we asked,
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"Do you believe career politicians
like Dede Standish have done a good job
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representing the 27th District in Albany?"
it was 33 percent yes, 38 percent no,
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14 undecided,
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15 no opinion.
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- That's very good.
- Meaning bad for her, good for us.
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Yep, I gathered that.
Totally did not need to clarify.
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But when we asked,
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"Do you believe
Payton Hobart has the experience
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to represent the 27th District in Albany?"
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it dropped to a 21 percent yes,
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44 percent no,
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22 undecided, and 13 no opinion.
14
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Okay,
but that's a very different question.
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Hold on. That's the same thing,
"undecided" and "no opinion."
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No, it's not.
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Oh, God! God damn it!
18
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I've done so much glad-handing
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that we've spent half
of our campaign budget on hand sanitizer.
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Are you just gonna let all this spill out,
or...?
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So, why are we ten-something points down
with a month to go?
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Dede Standish
has 30 years of name recognition.
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It's all about turnout.
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Turnout in elections
for New York State Senate
25
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tend to be as low as 2 percent.
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As few as 6,000 people
will even cast their ballots,
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which means this race can be determined
on, like, 100 votes.
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You could win
if you just go after those people
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who've answered the poll
with "I don't know."
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00:01:22,873 --> 00:01:24,977
And we know who they are.
We have their phone numbers.
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There weren't any "I don't knows"!
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That's right, James,
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because you asked everyone for
their opinions in a really confusing way.
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- Maybe I'll just get us coffees, then.
- Thank you.
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The reason why
we are ten-something points behind
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and not ten-something points ahead
is because you have a nuclear bomb
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with the word "throuple" written on it,
and you refuse to drop it, okay?
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See, that's the thing
with a nuclear bomb, James.
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It's not a very good look
for the side that drops it, okay?
40
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,108
I won't run a dirty campaign
that attacks my opponent's personal life.
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I am the ideas candidate.
42
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Well, then you'd better get used to
the idea that we are going to lose.
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Maybe instead of coffee,
I'll just see you all tomorrow?
44
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Will you please get a mop?
45
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I need a pretzel
46
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and I need a... a chicken salad
47
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and I need a Gatorade...
48
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Forget it.
49
00:02:39,241 --> 00:02:41,331
People, let's get up,
off the saddle. Here we go.
50
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Right, left, right.
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Stabilize those hips, people.
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Lane three, customer waiting...
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I know who you are.
Why are you following me?
54
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Can I interest you in lunch?
55
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I want to speak to Payton Hobart.
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And don't lie and say he's not here.
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Tell him it's Andrew.
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Uh, okay. Andrew...?
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No last name. Just Andrew.
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Like Cher.
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And it's like when I talk,
they don't even hear me.
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And it's not an accident.
They're actively not listening.
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I've been dealing with that my whole life.
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It's called being a woman.
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00:03:50,479 --> 00:03:51,610
I hate math,
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and I spent years at UC Santa Cruz
studying number theory.
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00:03:55,192 --> 00:03:56,192
You know why?
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Because I'm obsessed with Infinity.
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00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,278
Do you mean the person?
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00:04:02,366 --> 00:04:03,787
Yes, dumbass.
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00:04:04,409 --> 00:04:06,039
I can't stop thinking about her.
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I jerk it all the time,
and it doesn't help.
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I've tried everything.
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Empty affairs, a lot of older women.
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Effed some guys, too, some BDSM shit.
76
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:17,422
Nothing works.
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I'm in love with her.
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So, why are you here?
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I came to work for you, asshat.
What do you think?
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Your campaign's in the toilet.
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00:04:29,726 --> 00:04:30,726
Listen...
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I'm just gonna come right out and ask:
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Why don't you come and work for us?
84
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But not "officially" work for us.
85
00:04:40,654 --> 00:04:41,904
And how are you gonna help?
86
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,990
How thick are you assholes, anyway?
87
00:04:44,908 --> 00:04:48,119
I'm gonna get myself hired
by the Standish campaign.
88
00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:49,908
What you need is...
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00:04:49,997 --> 00:04:50,997
A mole?
90
00:04:51,206 --> 00:04:53,247
Why even bother?
You're, like, ten points ahead.
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00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,923
Shit like this is how we stay
ten points ahead.
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00:04:58,380 --> 00:05:01,141
How you gonna get hired? They'll know
we went to high school together.
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00:05:01,216 --> 00:05:02,086
So what?
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00:05:02,175 --> 00:05:04,545
I'll tell them you suck and I hate you.
Because I do.
95
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:05,716
And why would you do that?
96
00:05:06,930 --> 00:05:08,600
And why exactly would I do that?
97
00:05:08,682 --> 00:05:10,562
Because your talents are totally ignored
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00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:13,192
by a... an insufferable little megalomaniac
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who, really, let's face it,
doesn't know what he's doing.
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00:05:15,605 --> 00:05:18,065
Again, Infinity won't return my calls,
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00:05:18,358 --> 00:05:20,699
and her texts are, like,
"I'm really busy,"
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00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:23,737
and, "Please stop texting me.
It's never gonna happen."
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00:05:23,822 --> 00:05:25,452
All these mixed messages.
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I'm curious about your relationship
with your father.
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00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,158
- Why?
- I know he's in prison,
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00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,415
but what about before that?
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00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:34,499
Was he...
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00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:36,963
an egoist? A little cruel?
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00:05:37,461 --> 00:05:38,622
That's none of your business.
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He was a bit of a megalomaniac, wasn't he?
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00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:43,944
- I refuse to sit here and listen to this.
- But it sounds familiar, doesn't it?
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00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:46,348
A sociopath who's only in it for himself?
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Who makes you feel exactly as small
as you believe yourself to be?
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00:05:50,932 --> 00:05:54,038
- Funny how we do that, isn't it, Astrid?
- I'm gonna tell them you approached me.
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00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,062
Don't follow me again.
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00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,689
You won that election, Astrid.
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The principal told me.
They counted the ballots. You won.
118
00:06:04,654 --> 00:06:06,735
It should be you running against us.
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00:06:07,074 --> 00:06:10,654
I mean, no. It shouldn't.
That would be insane. But, still...
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00:06:13,497 --> 00:06:16,288
- you were robbed.
- Let me just get this straight.
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00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:19,086
Your price for helping us
is setting you up with Infinity?
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00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,589
That's my price, dick.
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00:06:21,004 --> 00:06:22,214
Does he know?
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00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,048
- Does Payton know he lost?
- No.
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00:06:24,132 --> 00:06:25,853
No, no way.
That's not how we're doing this.
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00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,547
Yes. Yes, Astrid,
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00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:29,391
he does.
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00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:33,432
I'll think about it.
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00:06:38,605 --> 00:06:39,605
It's a deal.
130
00:08:12,115 --> 00:08:13,446
So, in a way,
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00:08:13,533 --> 00:08:15,624
it's kind of refreshing
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00:08:15,702 --> 00:08:17,502
to have an independent candidate
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00:08:17,579 --> 00:08:19,670
like Mr. Hobart running.
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00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,709
And...
And no matter what the polls say,
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00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:23,461
he should stay in the race to the end.
136
00:08:23,543 --> 00:08:24,923
I think history has shown
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that single-issue candidates
are good for democracy.
138
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,625
Whoa. I thought this was gonna be
a civil conversation.
139
00:08:30,675 --> 00:08:33,176
Elvis, I am hardly a one-issue candidate.
140
00:08:33,261 --> 00:08:34,701
Well, if I were going to be uncivil,
141
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,774
I would mention how I'm not sure
you're even qualified to be in this race.
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You enrolled at NYU,
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00:08:39,976 --> 00:08:41,846
what, three years ago?
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00:08:41,937 --> 00:08:45,018
Well, Senator, if you'd bothered
to read my election filing,
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00:08:45,106 --> 00:08:49,027
you would know that I've actually been
a legal resident of New York since age 14.
146
00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:50,321
And how did you manage that?
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00:08:52,072 --> 00:08:55,123
My father's LLC is headquartered here,
in New York.
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00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:58,790
Um, my family has owned a home in Montauk
for several generations.
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00:08:58,870 --> 00:08:59,711
As a matter of fact,
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00:08:59,788 --> 00:09:03,078
I got a New York State driver's license
the summer that I turned 16.
151
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,746
Which you immediately took back
to your high school
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00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:08,666
in Santa Barbara, California.
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Sounds like a real New Yorker to me.
154
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:15,506
Okay, we've got about five minutes left.
155
00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:16,596
Payton,
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00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:19,600
are you a "single-issue" candidate?
157
00:09:20,183 --> 00:09:21,774
Of course not. Uh...
158
00:09:22,269 --> 00:09:24,690
And the idea that Senator Standish
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would characterize a platform
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00:09:26,731 --> 00:09:28,532
that is centered around
making green energy
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00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,109
this city's highest priority
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00:09:30,193 --> 00:09:32,703
by making New York carbon neutral
in four years,
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00:09:32,779 --> 00:09:34,779
to suggest that all of that
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00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:38,034
is some sort of pipe dream,
that just shows how out of touch she is,
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00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,038
and it underlines the need
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00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,671
for a new generation of young leaders,
who...
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00:09:43,957 --> 00:09:46,628
forgive me,
aren't going to be dead in 20 years,
168
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:47,831
- but will be here...
- Oh...
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00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:49,837
living in a climate catastrophe
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00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:52,341
that threatens all of civilization
as we know it, all right?
171
00:09:52,424 --> 00:09:53,585
It is young people,
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00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:56,176
people who have never cast a ballot before
in their lives,
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00:09:56,261 --> 00:10:00,062
who know that this is
the greatest threat we face, as a species,
174
00:10:00,682 --> 00:10:03,482
and who know that we have
the solutions to act now.
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00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:11,986
Trillions of dollars.
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00:10:12,068 --> 00:10:14,859
Say that again, Senator.
Everybody didn't hear you.
177
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:17,986
This plan you just outlined, Payton.
178
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:20,745
Uh, doing the quick math in my head,
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00:10:20,827 --> 00:10:21,947
trillions with a t.
180
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,538
That's thousands of billions of dollars.
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00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,754
This is great lip service,
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00:10:26,833 --> 00:10:30,004
and I'm sure it will play out wonderfully
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00:10:30,086 --> 00:10:32,417
for your mother's campaign
in California, but...
184
00:10:32,505 --> 00:10:35,296
this is New York,
and we know better!
185
00:10:37,552 --> 00:10:39,643
These are not serious proposals, Payton.
186
00:10:39,971 --> 00:10:42,142
- If you had done your research...
- Mmm.
187
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,274
You would know
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00:10:43,350 --> 00:10:45,850
that I just cosponsored a bill
that passed into law,
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00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:48,355
mandating 2.4 gigawatts
190
00:10:48,438 --> 00:10:52,438
of offshore wind power
and no-cost solar energy
191
00:10:52,525 --> 00:10:55,446
for 10,000 low-income residents
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00:10:55,528 --> 00:10:58,568
without raising taxes
on a single resident in this state.
193
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,118
Those are real results
from a real candidate
194
00:11:01,201 --> 00:11:03,951
who's been working her ass off
for the last 35 years
195
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,498
and doesn't have time
196
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:09,341
for stunt candidacies
launched by unserious people.
197
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,551
I should've brought up the throuple.
198
00:11:18,802 --> 00:11:20,393
It was right on the tip of my tongue.
199
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,971
I'm glad you took the high road.
200
00:11:23,014 --> 00:11:24,014
Now, eat your sundae.
201
00:11:24,057 --> 00:11:26,119
Only thing more depressing
than a hopeless politician
202
00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:28,942
- is a melted ice-cream sundae.
- I'm not four years old.
203
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,231
Ice cream won't solve my problems.
204
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:32,774
I know,
205
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,494
which is why I also brought you
206
00:11:35,568 --> 00:11:37,489
these marijuana gummies
207
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:41,283
and this miniature margarita kit.
208
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,581
And I'm also wearing
very provocative undergarments.
209
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,245
- You're so good to me.
- Mm.
210
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:51,671
I love you.
211
00:11:51,751 --> 00:11:55,552
I didn't run out on my wedding
just to be with you for the good times.
212
00:11:56,631 --> 00:11:58,802
For better or worse.
213
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,974
In sickness and in health, and...
214
00:12:03,179 --> 00:12:05,889
- all that.
- I know you're anxious for me to propose.
215
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,650
The last thing
I want to be is a distraction.
216
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,900
Why? Come here.
You're the opposite of that, okay?
217
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,817
And we are going to get married
as soon as this campaign's over.
218
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:22,158
- Assuming you'll wanna marry a loser.
- Stop that right now.
219
00:12:23,116 --> 00:12:25,236
And stop listening to James and McAfee
220
00:12:25,326 --> 00:12:27,157
and their poll-tested ideas.
221
00:12:27,370 --> 00:12:29,250
I've been doing some of my own polling.
222
00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:32,750
Your climate-change ideas
are really resonating with new voters,
223
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:35,085
- young voters.
- Thank you.
224
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:36,504
They're the key.
225
00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:40,626
They're a mirage, okay?
The white whale of politics.
226
00:12:40,717 --> 00:12:41,717
Campaigns chase them,
227
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,890
but the stats don't lie.
Young people don't vote.
228
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:46,471
Twenty percent of eligible voters
18-25 actually vote.
229
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,976
They get all fired up, right?
About the guns and,
230
00:12:49,058 --> 00:12:51,849
you know, climate change
and economic inequality.
231
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,976
And then, they just sit around,
drinking lattes on Wednesday morning,
232
00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:56,934
saying,
"Oh, wasn't the election yesterday?"
233
00:12:57,025 --> 00:12:58,985
Okay, stop making things complicated.
234
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,527
One issue:
235
00:13:03,948 --> 00:13:04,948
the climate.
236
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,495
Hit it hard, over and over.
237
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,407
That's how you're going to win.
238
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:11,956
You're so smart,
239
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,169
and I'm so in love with you.
240
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,799
And I know what I have to do
to win this race:
241
00:13:17,504 --> 00:13:19,585
go to LA
and get my mom to drop out of hers.
242
00:13:23,927 --> 00:13:26,508
My mother returned from Bhutan
with a new sense of purpose.
243
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,769
She was penniless from her divorce,
244
00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:32,019
but she found her renewed purpose
as the top fundraiser and de facto leader
245
00:13:32,101 --> 00:13:34,192
of a program called "Oceana 2."
246
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:37,234
Their mission is to catch dolphins,
one by one,
247
00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:40,816
and carefully operate to remove plastics
from their digestive tracts.
248
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:44,024
My mom found out
about Oceana 2 from Infinity.
249
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,950
Infinity had become
quietly passionate about the environment
250
00:13:47,033 --> 00:13:48,124
during her book tour.
251
00:13:48,576 --> 00:13:51,287
She even considered changing her last name
to "Degrees"
252
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,750
to bring attention
to the ever-warming climate.
253
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,144
Her and my mom had been
Instagram buddies for a couple of years,
254
00:13:57,168 --> 00:13:59,338
so when my mom was looking
for a way to get involved
255
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,510
with fighting climate change,
Infinity was happy
256
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,259
to make all the necessary introductions.
257
00:14:03,341 --> 00:14:06,142
It was in her capacity as fund-raiser
that my mother found herself
258
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,970
at billionaire Alison Mendelsohn's
Malibu mansion
259
00:14:09,264 --> 00:14:11,674
for a Game of Thrones finale
viewing party.
260
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,851
Alison was a huge Game of Thrones fan.
261
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:16,475
Her opinion of the final episodes was...
262
00:14:17,105 --> 00:14:18,475
less than enthusiastic.
263
00:14:19,899 --> 00:14:22,610
Mom falls in love almost as easily
as she falls out of it.
264
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,105
She and Alison became inseparable.
265
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:26,865
I understand that she'd lost
everyone important to her
266
00:14:26,948 --> 00:14:29,908
when Ser Jorah and Missandei
and the other dragon died,
267
00:14:30,201 --> 00:14:32,761
but are they saying that every woman
who goes through a hard time
268
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,327
- goes completely psycho?
- Can we talk about something else?
269
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,881
We are in a climate emergency!
270
00:14:40,211 --> 00:14:42,841
California emission standards
are being threatened.
271
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:45,182
Our agribusinesses can't find workers.
272
00:14:46,009 --> 00:14:48,220
Wildfire season is year-round.
273
00:14:48,636 --> 00:14:52,057
And manufacturers are abusing
our lax organic-labeling laws.
274
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:55,024
You're constantly complaining
about this stuff.
275
00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:57,308
Why don't you just run for governor?
276
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:00,938
You know what?
277
00:15:01,774 --> 00:15:02,774
I will.
278
00:15:08,615 --> 00:15:10,525
She was ahead in the polls
within moments
279
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,538
- of announcing her candidacy.
- That's great.
280
00:15:12,827 --> 00:15:15,077
So, I said to Kissinger, "That's okay,
281
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:17,825
Princess Margaret and I aren't wearing
any underwear either."
282
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,917
Men loved her, women loved her:
283
00:15:20,001 --> 00:15:22,841
rich, poor, liberal, conservative.
284
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:26,025
When my mother shines her light on you,
it feels like all is right in the world.
285
00:15:26,049 --> 00:15:28,485
At that moment, she was shining that light
across the entirety
286
00:15:28,509 --> 00:15:29,830
of the great state of California.
287
00:15:29,886 --> 00:15:32,506
Between her natural abilities
and Alison's bottomless pockets,
288
00:15:32,597 --> 00:15:35,057
your mom is sucking up
all of the Hobart political oxygen.
289
00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:38,102
It isn't just the press or the pundits.
290
00:15:38,519 --> 00:15:39,610
The people love her.
291
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:43,148
Every time I talk to a reporter,
they just ask about her.
292
00:15:43,232 --> 00:15:46,153
And... And when we send
those "get out the vote" e-mails,
293
00:15:46,235 --> 00:15:47,525
over half the responses are:
294
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,653
"Why am I getting this?
I can't vote in California."
295
00:15:49,697 --> 00:15:51,197
She's stealing my thunder.
296
00:15:53,284 --> 00:15:55,034
Am I a terrible son for doing this?
297
00:15:56,663 --> 00:15:59,293
Get going.
You're gonna miss your flight.
298
00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:01,667
And don't worry.
299
00:16:01,876 --> 00:16:05,206
When has she ever denied you
something you've asked of her? Hmm?
300
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:10,842
Everyone, stand by. Ten seconds.
Please take your seats.
301
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:17,394
In five, four, three, two...
302
00:16:17,475 --> 00:16:21,725
Welcome to the first California
gubernatorial debate from CNN.
303
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,115
Welcome. We have two hours.
304
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,540
Still, I'd like to get right into it.
305
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:37,788
Uh, Assemblyman Andrich,
I'd like to start with you.
306
00:16:37,870 --> 00:16:40,581
Forty-five percent of state revenue
in California
307
00:16:40,665 --> 00:16:42,995
comes from the top 1 percent of earners.
308
00:16:43,126 --> 00:16:45,456
You're proposing a 30-percent tax cut
309
00:16:45,837 --> 00:16:46,837
for that 1 percent,
310
00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:48,672
creating, by your own math,
311
00:16:48,756 --> 00:16:52,506
a budget shortfall of $500 billion.
312
00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:54,683
- How do you close that gap?
- First of all,
313
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:58,773
Californians are some of the most taxed
human beings on the planet.
314
00:16:58,850 --> 00:17:01,941
And I wanna lower taxes
on middle-class families,
315
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:04,230
who are the true engine
of the state's economy.
316
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:05,983
Miss Hobart, would you care to respond?
317
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,986
No, I don't. He's a creep,
and his poll numbers reflect that.
318
00:17:10,903 --> 00:17:13,374
All right, uh, Ms. Hobart,
uh, but let's stay with you.
319
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:16,868
This week, you stated at a fundraiser
that you thought Californians should
320
00:17:16,951 --> 00:17:19,461
take time out of their day to, quote,
321
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:20,827
"hug a tree."
322
00:17:21,289 --> 00:17:24,839
How do you respond to voters who think
your campaign is just not serious?
323
00:17:24,917 --> 00:17:28,417
Have you ever seen a redwood, Jake?
In person?
324
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:33,006
Every human being who has ever seen
a redwood in real life
325
00:17:33,926 --> 00:17:36,596
has gone up to that tree and hugged it,
326
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,680
and, for one fleeting moment,
327
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,766
felt more grateful to be alive
328
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,441
and more humble to be
in the state of California,
329
00:17:43,519 --> 00:17:45,200
one of the most beautiful places on earth.
330
00:17:46,230 --> 00:17:49,191
The people who think
my campaign is unserious
331
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:51,066
are dishonest journalists
332
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:54,073
who do not know me
and have made no attempt to contact me,
333
00:17:54,155 --> 00:17:57,826
and right-wing Republican
news organizations
334
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,619
who've been engaged
in decades-long propaganda
335
00:18:00,703 --> 00:18:04,173
to divide this country
along any number of cultural lines,
336
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,929
because they make a ton of money doing it.
337
00:18:06,876 --> 00:18:08,957
And they're good at it! They've won!
338
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,089
We can't agree on policy in this country,
339
00:18:12,173 --> 00:18:14,183
because we can't agree on facts.
340
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,932
Okay, I'd like to move on.
341
00:18:16,010 --> 00:18:18,181
And that's why I think California
342
00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:20,394
should secede from the Union.
343
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,056
I'm sorry. Would you care to elaborate?
344
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:30,153
California should be
its own independent country.
345
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:35,737
Most of our federal tax dollars
go out of state
346
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:38,282
to people who think
that we are pot-smoking,
347
00:18:38,366 --> 00:18:41,037
Satan-worshipping abortion doctors
or something.
348
00:18:41,577 --> 00:18:43,038
Who can't shut up
349
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:47,172
about how our high taxes
are strangling the private sector.
350
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:50,131
And yet, somehow,
California manages to remain
351
00:18:50,211 --> 00:18:51,092
the world leader
352
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:52,760
in growth, industry,
353
00:18:52,839 --> 00:18:53,970
innovation, and culture.
354
00:18:54,048 --> 00:18:57,388
We have the best public-university system
355
00:18:57,885 --> 00:18:59,465
in the history of humankind.
356
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,674
So maybe,
357
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,940
just maybe, we are doing something right.
358
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,983
And you have to ask yourself, eventually,
359
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,483
"Are we ever gonna change their minds?
360
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,030
Are we ever gonna change them?"
361
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:14,902
No!
362
00:19:16,404 --> 00:19:19,154
This state is in a bad marriage.
363
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,490
And what do you do
when you're in a bad marriage?
364
00:19:23,244 --> 00:19:24,615
You get a divorce.
365
00:19:25,663 --> 00:19:30,213
Sorry, Texas
and West Virginia and Alabama,
366
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,554
I'm sure you're beautiful
deep down inside,
367
00:19:32,628 --> 00:19:34,919
but we're moving on.
368
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,048
And New York, if you're listening,
369
00:19:38,801 --> 00:19:40,971
why don't you join us?
We'd make a great country.
370
00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:42,223
Illinois?
371
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,135
We'd be totally down for that too.
372
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,480
And if you're watching at home
373
00:19:48,186 --> 00:19:49,896
and this sounds interesting to you,
374
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,940
go to my website or use the hashtag
375
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,775
"let's get the Cal outta here."
376
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:57,194
Thank you.
377
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,578
Okay. Okay.
378
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:03,615
Please, quiet down, everyone.
379
00:20:05,328 --> 00:20:07,459
No one's gonna go see a movie
that's just two hours
380
00:20:07,538 --> 00:20:09,578
of Sia silently making snacks.
381
00:20:09,665 --> 00:20:12,586
So, I see Mom got you two jobs
at Alison Mendelsohn's movie company?
382
00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:13,499
Yeah.
383
00:20:13,586 --> 00:20:15,797
She didn't mind
we don't have college degrees.
384
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,881
Eh, don't judge us.
We're actually making a difference.
385
00:20:19,675 --> 00:20:22,135
Also, I hear you're ten points down.
386
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,990
- For the moment.
- Yeah, good luck with that.
387
00:20:24,013 --> 00:20:27,104
Boys, are we really gonna continue
to poke at each other
388
00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:28,773
after all that we've been through?
389
00:20:29,185 --> 00:20:31,605
We've come out the other side
so much better.
390
00:20:32,271 --> 00:20:34,021
Payton has a new campaign,
391
00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:36,070
you boys are employed,
392
00:20:36,817 --> 00:20:38,817
I have a new love, a new passion.
393
00:20:39,403 --> 00:20:40,784
Can't say the same for Dad.
394
00:20:41,405 --> 00:20:45,155
Your father was actually
always very drawn to tradition and ritual,
395
00:20:45,243 --> 00:20:48,463
so I bet you this is the most settled
he's ever been in his life.
396
00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:50,172
Becoming an Orthodox Jew?
397
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,709
Yes. I hear he married a lovely Jewess
398
00:20:52,792 --> 00:20:54,673
who wears a wig, and they're very happy.
399
00:20:55,002 --> 00:20:56,343
Why don't you boys run along
400
00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:58,381
so that Payton and I
can properly catch up?
401
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:01,717
She never makes us sandwiches.
402
00:21:03,761 --> 00:21:04,761
Agh.
403
00:21:05,388 --> 00:21:06,638
You look wonderful.
404
00:21:07,848 --> 00:21:09,019
Isn't Alison great?
405
00:21:09,558 --> 00:21:11,519
I mean,
I know she's a little single-minded,
406
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:12,732
but all great women are.
407
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:14,710
Mom, I need you to end your campaign.
408
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,066
What?
409
00:21:18,234 --> 00:21:19,315
But I'm going to win.
410
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,032
Yes, and I am going to lose.
411
00:21:21,445 --> 00:21:23,276
Your candidacy is killing my dream.
412
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:27,663
But... is it my fault
that you're ten points behind?
413
00:21:27,743 --> 00:21:30,163
Mom, I love you,
but you are a distraction.
414
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,671
I'm this big, bright star standing
right next to the sun.
415
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,084
In broad daylight.
416
00:21:36,252 --> 00:21:38,302
Well, then,
you're gonna need to shine brighter,
417
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:39,509
not ask me to dim.
418
00:21:40,673 --> 00:21:42,013
But I've tried everything.
419
00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:44,010
You haven't tried being yourself.
420
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:46,894
I'm a politician. I have no self.
421
00:21:47,931 --> 00:21:50,692
Well, then, you're gonna have to find one
that's authentic as possible
422
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,226
so that voters believe that you do.
423
00:21:53,144 --> 00:21:56,105
People don't believe you
because you don't believe you.
424
00:21:56,189 --> 00:21:57,729
Maybe I'm not even good at this.
425
00:21:58,357 --> 00:21:59,357
You know?
426
00:21:59,442 --> 00:22:02,087
Maybe our privileged upbringing
gave me a false sense of confidence.
427
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:04,872
What if...
What if I'm no different than the twins?
428
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:11,119
Honey, those boys are Ferraris
with golf-cart engines.
429
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:14,326
You are the real deal.
430
00:22:14,958 --> 00:22:16,958
You're just driving
in the wrong direction.
431
00:22:17,544 --> 00:22:18,713
How can you be so sure?
432
00:22:19,503 --> 00:22:22,763
Because I'm your mother,
and I know you better than anyone.
433
00:22:23,924 --> 00:22:26,795
It's about authenticity, Payton, okay?
434
00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:28,723
Okay.
435
00:22:30,222 --> 00:22:31,772
I'm here to see Hadassah Gold.
436
00:22:31,849 --> 00:22:33,809
- And who are you?
- Andrew.
437
00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:34,903
I wanna be an intern.
438
00:22:35,895 --> 00:22:38,266
Well, okay.
If you'd like to fill out an application,
439
00:22:38,356 --> 00:22:39,817
why don't you go somewhere else?
440
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:42,029
Because we don't hire interns.
441
00:22:42,109 --> 00:22:43,109
Hmm.
442
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:46,572
I saw the way you looked me up and down.
You othered me.
443
00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:50,199
Are you aware that the width
of the doorway I just walked through
444
00:22:50,285 --> 00:22:53,075
is not compliant
with the Americans with Disabilities Act?
445
00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:56,542
Well, you made it just fine,
so congratulations.
446
00:22:56,916 --> 00:22:59,247
Let me read to you
from the subchapter on employment.
447
00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:00,996
Great, and while you do that,
448
00:23:01,087 --> 00:23:04,508
I'm just gonna rub the side
of my nose here with my middle finger.
449
00:23:04,590 --> 00:23:05,510
Just hold right there.
450
00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:07,392
I'm going to take a picture of you...
451
00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:08,888
and then tweet it
452
00:23:08,970 --> 00:23:09,970
with the word "bigot"
453
00:23:10,012 --> 00:23:12,603
to the American Association
of People with Disabilities.
454
00:23:12,682 --> 00:23:15,192
Holy fuck, you little shit.
455
00:23:15,268 --> 00:23:17,938
I'm gonna get you
in to Hadassah right now.
456
00:23:18,020 --> 00:23:20,070
Bitch is gonna tear you a new one.
457
00:23:20,147 --> 00:23:23,147
So, I graduated in June,
with a BA in mathematics...
458
00:23:23,234 --> 00:23:24,944
I'm gonna stop you right there.
459
00:23:25,737 --> 00:23:27,606
I don't know what you said to Sherry,
460
00:23:28,030 --> 00:23:29,201
but she hates you,
461
00:23:29,449 --> 00:23:31,489
which brightens my day immensely.
462
00:23:31,576 --> 00:23:35,455
Ha! You're hired.
You're gonna be my Sherry whisperer.
463
00:23:35,538 --> 00:23:37,999
And by whisperer, I mean tormentor. Ugh!
464
00:23:38,416 --> 00:23:40,247
What a bitch.
465
00:23:40,335 --> 00:23:41,335
Okay, great.
466
00:23:41,961 --> 00:23:44,461
And a math major, huh? Fantastic!
467
00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:46,548
We're bringing in
all this new IT bullshit,
468
00:23:46,633 --> 00:23:48,593
brand-new computers, a whole data team.
469
00:23:48,676 --> 00:23:51,346
That's what campaigns
are all about these days, evidently.
470
00:23:52,471 --> 00:23:54,271
Uh, thank you, Ms. Gold.
471
00:23:54,598 --> 00:23:56,519
This is a dream come true.
472
00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:58,230
Find yourself a desk somewhere.
473
00:24:03,732 --> 00:24:05,742
Well, hello.
474
00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:07,857
I thought about it, and I'm in.
475
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,580
- I love the cloak-and-dagger routine.
- I'll do it on one condition.
476
00:24:11,991 --> 00:24:13,951
When I run for office,
whenever that may be,
477
00:24:14,035 --> 00:24:15,154
you run my campaign.
478
00:24:15,619 --> 00:24:17,619
- Sounds fun. I like it.
- Good.
479
00:24:17,955 --> 00:24:20,455
So, you have a problem.
Your candidate's in a throuple.
480
00:24:23,002 --> 00:24:24,502
I beg your pardon?
481
00:24:24,587 --> 00:24:25,837
A three-way relationship.
482
00:24:25,922 --> 00:24:28,342
And Payton knows about it.
So, you should get on that.
483
00:24:32,511 --> 00:24:35,392
So, how is the campaign going?
I see you're well ahead.
484
00:24:35,473 --> 00:24:38,693
Well, that's what Hadassah tells me,
and, um...
485
00:24:39,102 --> 00:24:40,942
honestly, it's old hat, at this point.
486
00:24:41,020 --> 00:24:44,480
This is, like,
my 12th or 13th campaign.
487
00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:47,987
Yeah, but the kid is
only ten points behind you.
488
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,911
Yes, sure. I mean... I mean, look...
489
00:24:52,907 --> 00:24:56,788
there are a lot of people in my district
that aren't that engaged.
490
00:24:56,869 --> 00:24:59,369
All they only ever want to do
is lodge a protest vote
491
00:24:59,455 --> 00:25:00,826
saying, "F the system."
492
00:25:00,915 --> 00:25:04,625
And, you know, here's this fetus,
and then there are a lot of young people
493
00:25:04,711 --> 00:25:07,340
who are very excited
about the idea of somebody like that.
494
00:25:07,422 --> 00:25:09,301
You know how it is.
It's part of the landscape.
495
00:25:11,425 --> 00:25:13,086
But see, that's what worries me.
496
00:25:14,386 --> 00:25:16,517
Senator, you're... you're worried?
497
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,930
The people you're talking about,
498
00:25:18,016 --> 00:25:20,556
the ones who get excited
about voting for a kid.
499
00:25:21,519 --> 00:25:25,519
At reelection, that slice of the pie
is getting bigger and bigger.
500
00:25:26,273 --> 00:25:27,324
And your voters,
501
00:25:27,692 --> 00:25:31,451
the ones who cast a ballot
in every election for the past 40 years,
502
00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:34,241
I hate to say it, but they're dying off.
503
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:37,535
I'm sorry.
504
00:25:38,953 --> 00:25:42,673
- Are you suggesting that I'm too old?
- Oh, come on.
505
00:25:42,749 --> 00:25:44,878
Because I thought that's
what drew you to me:
506
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,299
my pragmatism, my experience,
507
00:25:47,378 --> 00:25:49,919
to make up for the fact that you...
508
00:25:50,673 --> 00:25:53,223
haven't been doing this for very long.
509
00:25:53,926 --> 00:25:56,346
I'm saying it could be used against us.
510
00:25:57,556 --> 00:25:58,925
When I look at your campaign,
511
00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:01,224
who's running it, the slogans, you...
512
00:26:01,851 --> 00:26:03,651
it reeks of old politics.
513
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:07,608
And it's not me who's smelling it.
It's the 20 percent of your constituency
514
00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:11,280
who would rather vote for a kid
than vote for you.
515
00:26:11,361 --> 00:26:15,871
You can't let this kid get closer to you
than ten points.
516
00:26:16,199 --> 00:26:17,078
If he does,
517
00:26:17,157 --> 00:26:20,998
I'm gonna have serious questions
about your viability as a running mate.
518
00:26:21,788 --> 00:26:23,538
Dede, we have a family emergency.
519
00:26:23,623 --> 00:26:25,712
Hi, Senator, so sorry to interrupt.
520
00:26:25,791 --> 00:26:27,041
You need to come with me.
521
00:26:27,126 --> 00:26:29,957
I'll... I'll call you, Senator.
Where are we going?
522
00:26:30,046 --> 00:26:31,125
To your house.
523
00:26:31,213 --> 00:26:33,317
- What the hell is happening?
- Shut your fucking mouth.
524
00:26:33,340 --> 00:26:34,681
I know about the throuple.
525
00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:37,634
How did you think
you were gonna get away with this?
526
00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:40,470
I don't know
whether to be furious or betrayed.
527
00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:43,517
And then I'm like,
"Hadassah, why should you have to choose?"
528
00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:45,761
Can we just lower the temperature in here
for a second?
529
00:26:45,811 --> 00:26:47,442
You lower the temperature, Marcus!
530
00:26:47,521 --> 00:26:48,731
Or if it's too hot in here,
531
00:26:48,815 --> 00:26:51,394
why don't the three of you all
just take off your clothes?
532
00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:55,027
- You're sure that they know?
- Yes, I'm sure.
533
00:26:55,113 --> 00:26:56,823
It was one of their staffers who told me.
534
00:26:56,905 --> 00:26:58,615
That's how I found out.
535
00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:01,619
Instead of from one of the actual members
of the throuple,
536
00:27:01,702 --> 00:27:03,083
which is what should've happened.
537
00:27:03,163 --> 00:27:05,373
Okay, but as far as we know,
no one else knows.
538
00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:07,416
Yeah, and how long
do you think that's gonna last?
539
00:27:08,876 --> 00:27:10,166
Why didn't you tell me?
540
00:27:12,463 --> 00:27:17,433
Hadassah, this was always
a personal and private matter.
541
00:27:17,551 --> 00:27:19,761
We... We thought the best way
for it to remain a secret
542
00:27:19,846 --> 00:27:22,965
- was if only the three of us knew.
- Honestly, I thought you knew.
543
00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:24,932
- You what?
- Yeah.
544
00:27:25,018 --> 00:27:26,097
No.
545
00:27:26,185 --> 00:27:27,266
I didn't know.
546
00:27:27,354 --> 00:27:29,403
I thought he was your great friend
or something.
547
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,361
Or maybe you were a little gay
or whatever.
548
00:27:31,441 --> 00:27:34,151
Or maybe the two of you
had something going on on the side,
549
00:27:34,234 --> 00:27:38,194
but never in my life did I imagine
that the three of you... What? What?
550
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:41,330
You pushed two queen-sized beds together
551
00:27:41,409 --> 00:27:43,409
and daisy-chained each other to sleep
every night?
552
00:27:43,494 --> 00:27:44,785
Hey! If you're gonna be rude...
553
00:27:44,871 --> 00:27:46,250
Get used to it, pal.
554
00:27:46,330 --> 00:27:48,290
Shit's gonna get real rude
555
00:27:48,375 --> 00:27:50,994
when this is a blind item
on Page Six one day,
556
00:27:51,086 --> 00:27:53,125
and the next, it's splashed
over the front pages
557
00:27:53,212 --> 00:27:54,593
of every newspaper on earth!
558
00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:56,302
Hadassah!
559
00:27:56,383 --> 00:27:58,843
This is manageable.
560
00:27:58,926 --> 00:28:00,096
Oh, no, Dede,
561
00:28:00,761 --> 00:28:03,352
vehicular manslaughter is manageable.
562
00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:06,267
This... is batshit!
563
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:08,560
That's what I mean! If it does come out...
564
00:28:08,644 --> 00:28:11,184
We don't even know if it will...
We just deny, deny, deny.
565
00:28:11,271 --> 00:28:13,791
Because, frankly, it does sound like
some cockamamie, far-right,
566
00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:16,317
Republican talking point
that oozed out of the lunatic fringe
567
00:28:16,403 --> 00:28:20,123
like... like a pedophile ring being run
out of a DC pizza parlor,
568
00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:22,077
or Antonin Scalia getting murdered.
569
00:28:22,157 --> 00:28:25,538
Here, you and I know just about
570
00:28:25,619 --> 00:28:29,039
every political journalist in New York
by name,
571
00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:30,584
and if they got a blind item
572
00:28:30,666 --> 00:28:32,626
that Dede Standish was in a throuple,
573
00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:34,000
that a woman over 40
574
00:28:34,086 --> 00:28:37,257
had even an ounce of sexual allure
or desire...
575
00:28:37,339 --> 00:28:39,720
which they don't think we do,
and they are wrong...
576
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:41,891
they would just...
577
00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:44,529
They would die laughing
before they could run it by their editor.
578
00:28:44,596 --> 00:28:47,176
And even if they look,
they won't find anything.
579
00:28:47,267 --> 00:28:50,896
I mean, we've been in public
a few times together, but that's it.
580
00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:53,058
You asked how we thought
we could get away with this.
581
00:28:53,147 --> 00:28:56,357
Well, we've been getting away with this
for ten years!
582
00:28:56,692 --> 00:28:57,692
Do they have proof?
583
00:28:57,777 --> 00:29:00,156
Do they have a salacious photo or a video?
584
00:29:00,238 --> 00:29:02,738
A video? Oh, my God.
585
00:29:02,824 --> 00:29:03,824
You do videos?
586
00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:06,615
No, no, no. Of course we don't do videos.
587
00:29:06,702 --> 00:29:07,752
Oh, thank God.
588
00:29:10,832 --> 00:29:13,132
No, no, it was the staffer.
589
00:29:13,500 --> 00:29:15,421
She told me she saw you...
You three kissing,
590
00:29:15,502 --> 00:29:17,093
which...
591
00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:20,301
- just the mental picture.
- So, one mistake, once.
592
00:29:20,383 --> 00:29:22,819
And we knew it. We talked about it
in the limo on the way home
593
00:29:22,844 --> 00:29:24,564
- as we were all making out...
- Making out.
594
00:29:24,636 --> 00:29:25,717
Oh, Jesus Christ!
595
00:29:25,805 --> 00:29:28,765
And swore that this
would never happen again.
596
00:29:28,849 --> 00:29:30,089
That's the night we get caught.
597
00:29:30,143 --> 00:29:32,692
Right, but it's just an image
in some girl's head.
598
00:29:32,770 --> 00:29:36,020
It's a memory of what she thinks she saw.
She has no proof.
599
00:29:36,106 --> 00:29:37,606
It'll just be her word.
600
00:29:39,652 --> 00:29:40,652
Come on.
601
00:29:44,365 --> 00:29:47,825
Look, I know this is not ideal,
602
00:29:48,494 --> 00:29:52,454
and I'm sorry that we kept it from you.
603
00:29:52,539 --> 00:29:56,920
I understand that you feel
that we betrayed your trust, and...
604
00:29:57,002 --> 00:29:59,423
I, and...
We're gonna do everything
605
00:29:59,923 --> 00:30:01,512
to gain your trust back again.
606
00:30:02,342 --> 00:30:03,342
No.
607
00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:08,144
It's me or him.
608
00:30:09,557 --> 00:30:11,386
You two end this tonight,
609
00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:14,266
or I walk, and I walk forever.
610
00:30:14,979 --> 00:30:16,818
Like a fucking Jewish Highlander.
611
00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:23,133
We'll discuss it and get back to you.
612
00:30:24,404 --> 00:30:26,654
No, Dede, you never see him again,
613
00:30:26,865 --> 00:30:28,445
you never speak to him again.
614
00:30:29,285 --> 00:30:31,444
Look,
I'm sure you're a very nice pivot man,
615
00:30:32,038 --> 00:30:33,038
but it's over, okay?
616
00:30:38,001 --> 00:30:39,001
No.
617
00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:42,125
It isn't over.
618
00:30:43,465 --> 00:30:48,256
I am not giving up the best thing
in my life
619
00:30:48,346 --> 00:30:53,266
just because some 22-year-old
fucking rich kid
620
00:30:53,351 --> 00:30:54,891
thinks he has something on me!
621
00:30:54,978 --> 00:30:59,018
You idiot. I don't give a shit
about Payton Hobart.
622
00:30:59,523 --> 00:31:02,743
It's Tino I care about. Tino.
623
00:31:04,194 --> 00:31:06,105
What is gonna happen
when he gets wind of this?
624
00:31:06,196 --> 00:31:07,567
What do you think he's gonna do?
625
00:31:08,532 --> 00:31:11,542
You're not gonna become
the vice president of the United States.
626
00:31:11,911 --> 00:31:13,711
The ship has sailed, Dede.
627
00:31:14,705 --> 00:31:15,996
Sailed.
628
00:31:30,387 --> 00:31:32,097
No, no. No, no, no.
629
00:31:33,348 --> 00:31:35,098
Mm.
630
00:31:35,183 --> 00:31:38,903
Well, this is what I call
coming to your senses.
631
00:31:40,690 --> 00:31:41,940
Keep it up.
632
00:31:56,538 --> 00:31:57,618
So, what is this again?
633
00:31:57,707 --> 00:31:59,707
Infinity's thing,
Rally for Climate Action.
634
00:31:59,791 --> 00:32:00,791
I don't get it.
635
00:32:01,251 --> 00:32:02,172
What's Infinity's deal?
636
00:32:02,252 --> 00:32:05,262
I thought she was a best-selling author.
Now she's a climate activist?
637
00:32:05,339 --> 00:32:07,589
Yeah, what a bitch, right?
How dare she use her notoriety
638
00:32:07,674 --> 00:32:10,884
to raise awareness about the greatest
long-term threat to human civilization?
639
00:32:10,970 --> 00:32:13,059
You're an ass. Here's your speech.
640
00:32:16,392 --> 00:32:17,442
Okay.
641
00:32:19,061 --> 00:32:20,442
And it is now
642
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,361
my pleasure to introduce
a dear friend of mine
643
00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:27,070
who's running for state senate,
which is totally a thing,
644
00:32:28,070 --> 00:32:29,740
Payton Hobart!
645
00:32:31,657 --> 00:32:32,657
I don't need this.
646
00:32:33,159 --> 00:32:34,159
What?
647
00:32:35,953 --> 00:32:36,874
Hello, Infinity.
648
00:32:36,954 --> 00:32:39,204
- Thanks for being here.
- Thanks for having me.
649
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:41,040
Thank you to Infinity!
650
00:32:44,086 --> 00:32:46,626
You know, Infinity and I, uh,
we went to high school together.
651
00:32:46,713 --> 00:32:49,433
- Uh, she was my running mate, actually.
- True.
652
00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:50,949
And can I tell you what my first act
653
00:32:51,009 --> 00:32:52,849
- as student body president was?
- Yeah!
654
00:32:52,929 --> 00:32:53,929
It was real simple:
655
00:32:54,096 --> 00:32:57,227
to ban the use of plastic straws
on campus, right?
656
00:32:57,307 --> 00:32:58,978
Yes!
657
00:32:59,059 --> 00:33:01,150
Yes, like you,
I thought it was a total no-brainer.
658
00:33:01,229 --> 00:33:03,898
It's a... It's a concrete solution
we can implement overnight
659
00:33:03,981 --> 00:33:05,942
that would make
a significant environmental impact
660
00:33:05,983 --> 00:33:08,074
and would show the world
our generation's commitment
661
00:33:08,152 --> 00:33:10,531
- to protecting the environment.
- Yeah!
662
00:33:10,613 --> 00:33:13,242
But when I presented this plan
to the school board,
663
00:33:13,324 --> 00:33:15,453
I was laughed out of the room.
664
00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:16,865
They called me naive.
665
00:33:17,452 --> 00:33:19,623
They called the plan "outlandish."
666
00:33:19,705 --> 00:33:22,076
They admitted that it was
the right thing to do,
667
00:33:22,165 --> 00:33:23,746
but they said it just couldn't be done.
668
00:33:24,501 --> 00:33:26,902
This is exactly what our generation
is dealing with, friends.
669
00:33:26,962 --> 00:33:28,843
These are the adults in the room,
670
00:33:28,923 --> 00:33:31,262
and they don't even have the backbone
to take on straws?
671
00:33:35,304 --> 00:33:38,683
Now, listen. Every one of us here today
knows that we are in a generational fight
672
00:33:38,766 --> 00:33:41,435
that will determine our species' future
on this planet.
673
00:33:41,519 --> 00:33:44,729
But politicians like Dede Standish...
674
00:33:46,857 --> 00:33:49,238
they cannot accept our urgency
to clean up this mess,
675
00:33:49,317 --> 00:33:51,198
because if they did,
they would have to admit
676
00:33:51,278 --> 00:33:52,739
that they are the ones who made it!
677
00:33:54,781 --> 00:33:58,201
Well, Senator Standish,
if you are listening today,
678
00:33:58,286 --> 00:34:00,826
I do not want my children
and my grandchildren
679
00:34:00,913 --> 00:34:03,042
living in a New York City
with 20-foot sea walls
680
00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:06,213
holding back a dying ocean
on a scorched Earth
681
00:34:06,294 --> 00:34:08,923
with tens of millions
of climate refugees...
682
00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:11,164
- No. No.
- And fascist governments
683
00:34:11,257 --> 00:34:12,086
around the globe
684
00:34:12,175 --> 00:34:13,505
are committing wholesale genocide
685
00:34:13,592 --> 00:34:16,222
while we fight for dwindling supplies
of food and water!
686
00:34:17,679 --> 00:34:20,199
That is where this world is headed
if we continue to do nothing,
687
00:34:20,224 --> 00:34:23,693
Dede Standish. And when you say
that we can't afford to take action,
688
00:34:23,769 --> 00:34:26,309
I say this:
It's because of your generation's policies
689
00:34:26,396 --> 00:34:28,396
that my generation has no other choice!
690
00:34:30,150 --> 00:34:32,610
- Amazing. He's amazing.
- Thank you very much!
691
00:34:33,487 --> 00:34:36,447
But, my friends, we do have one choice,
and that's on Election Day.
692
00:34:36,532 --> 00:34:39,081
You, all of you, each and every one of you
693
00:34:39,159 --> 00:34:40,869
who has voted with your feet today,
694
00:34:40,952 --> 00:34:43,213
by showing the world
where your priorities lie,
695
00:34:43,289 --> 00:34:46,378
you have the chance on November 5th
696
00:34:46,458 --> 00:34:49,628
to preserve humanity's future
on this planet and in this city.
697
00:34:49,711 --> 00:34:52,092
You. You are the solution.
698
00:34:52,297 --> 00:34:54,088
Our generation is gonna save this planet,
699
00:34:54,175 --> 00:34:57,094
and I'm going to do everything
in my power to help you do so!
700
00:34:57,177 --> 00:34:58,257
Thank you very much!
701
00:34:58,346 --> 00:35:00,056
Unbelievable!
702
00:35:07,688 --> 00:35:08,858
This is being livestreamed.
703
00:35:14,152 --> 00:35:16,322
- That was good.
- This is gonna go viral.
704
00:35:16,405 --> 00:35:18,945
I liked that.
Let's do more of that.
705
00:35:34,548 --> 00:35:36,929
It doesn't exist. The albino lobster?
706
00:35:37,009 --> 00:35:38,009
It's a legend.
707
00:35:38,219 --> 00:35:40,969
They say it's one-in-a-hundred-million
chance that you find one.
708
00:35:41,054 --> 00:35:42,925
Better chance of winning
the Mega Millions.
709
00:35:43,014 --> 00:35:44,764
Well, which is it? Does it not exist,
710
00:35:44,851 --> 00:35:46,530
or is it a one-in-a-hundred-million
chance?
711
00:35:46,601 --> 00:35:48,271
Can I give you some advice?
712
00:35:48,353 --> 00:35:50,614
Maybe it's not the white lobster
you're looking for.
713
00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:53,110
- Maybe it's something else.
- Like a blue lobster?
714
00:35:53,192 --> 00:35:56,572
No. Like, maybe the white lobster
represents what you really want
715
00:35:56,653 --> 00:35:57,704
but you can't have.
716
00:35:58,114 --> 00:35:59,474
But you're looking for the lobster
717
00:35:59,532 --> 00:36:01,621
so you don't have
to think about the real thing.
718
00:36:01,701 --> 00:36:03,411
I've actually seen a blue lobster.
719
00:36:04,327 --> 00:36:05,327
Pretty rare.
720
00:36:05,371 --> 00:36:07,121
I love someone, okay?
721
00:36:07,289 --> 00:36:08,880
Two someones,
722
00:36:08,958 --> 00:36:10,128
and I can't have them.
723
00:36:10,501 --> 00:36:12,380
That's why I ran away
to work on a lobster boat,
724
00:36:12,420 --> 00:36:14,210
so I don't have to think about them.
725
00:36:14,297 --> 00:36:17,336
So I don't have to think about anything.
So, please, stop talking to me!
726
00:36:21,762 --> 00:36:24,722
Can't you at least pretend
not to hate everyone here?
727
00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:27,686
Why pretend in a room full of fakes?
728
00:36:28,351 --> 00:36:30,942
They're never going to tell you
what they really think, anyway.
729
00:36:31,396 --> 00:36:34,186
These are voters
from every Hollywood guild and academy.
730
00:36:34,525 --> 00:36:37,445
Why are my voters so awful
and yours are so perfect?
731
00:36:37,527 --> 00:36:39,027
The difference is this:
732
00:36:39,112 --> 00:36:40,742
I want to help my voters,
733
00:36:40,822 --> 00:36:42,782
and you want your voters to help you.
734
00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:53,380
Old-fashioned, not too sweet, right?
735
00:36:53,710 --> 00:36:56,340
- Yes. Uh, that or...
- Martini up. Extra olives.
736
00:36:58,548 --> 00:37:01,009
I have the top oppo researchers
in the game.
737
00:37:01,092 --> 00:37:02,893
I'm Tino McCutcheon,
738
00:37:03,054 --> 00:37:05,224
junior senator
for the great state of Texas.
739
00:37:05,306 --> 00:37:06,465
Mmm!
740
00:37:06,681 --> 00:37:08,811
Yes, I believe I've seen you
on television.
741
00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:11,023
Were you doing some sort of triathlon?
742
00:37:11,686 --> 00:37:13,186
Well, between you and I,
743
00:37:13,271 --> 00:37:16,442
I'm positioning myself
for a presidential run next year.
744
00:37:16,733 --> 00:37:20,914
My advisers feel it's wise to lean into
my virility and sex appeal, so...
745
00:37:21,364 --> 00:37:24,954
a shirtless politician
produces millions in free advertising.
746
00:37:25,034 --> 00:37:26,454
I'll keep that in mind.
747
00:37:28,036 --> 00:37:29,407
So, what brings you here?
748
00:37:29,496 --> 00:37:31,206
Fundraising? I hope not.
749
00:37:31,289 --> 00:37:33,670
These limousine liberals
are full of passion
750
00:37:33,751 --> 00:37:35,751
until you ask them to write a check.
751
00:37:35,835 --> 00:37:38,335
Not exactly. I have a proposal for you.
752
00:37:38,713 --> 00:37:40,014
I'm seeing someone...
753
00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:42,393
I think.
754
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:45,139
Not that kind of proposal.
755
00:37:46,889 --> 00:37:49,139
My wife slipped into a coma two years ago.
756
00:37:49,224 --> 00:37:51,844
Complications from
a severe case of trichinosis.
757
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:53,496
They don't know if she'll ever wake up,
758
00:37:53,561 --> 00:37:56,521
and even if she does,
there will most certainly be brain damage.
759
00:37:57,565 --> 00:38:00,356
Well, you're a very good husband
for staying by her side.
760
00:38:00,443 --> 00:38:04,574
My husband slipped into a coma for a week,
and I was one foot out the door.
761
00:38:05,657 --> 00:38:08,407
Well, I hate to say it,
but it's been great for me, politically.
762
00:38:08,494 --> 00:38:09,494
Uh...
763
00:38:09,704 --> 00:38:12,043
I've been paying attention
to your campaign.
764
00:38:12,123 --> 00:38:14,003
You have a gift.
765
00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:15,625
Well...
766
00:38:16,293 --> 00:38:19,134
people have always found me interesting,
for some reason.
767
00:38:19,713 --> 00:38:22,054
My father said you can't teach charisma.
768
00:38:22,717 --> 00:38:25,007
He would have known.
He was a great big fat man,
769
00:38:25,094 --> 00:38:26,804
and the ladies couldn't keep away.
770
00:38:27,804 --> 00:38:30,554
Yeah. Ideas don't win campaigns anymore.
771
00:38:30,641 --> 00:38:31,771
Values certainly don't.
772
00:38:31,851 --> 00:38:35,811
Nowadays, the guy who gets elected
is the guy who gets the most attention.
773
00:38:36,188 --> 00:38:39,027
P. T. Barnum would be our next president
if he were alive.
774
00:38:39,858 --> 00:38:41,438
I never liked the circus.
775
00:38:41,568 --> 00:38:42,818
Those poor elephants.
776
00:38:43,820 --> 00:38:45,411
I'm looking to make a splash
777
00:38:45,697 --> 00:38:47,907
and separate myself
from the other candidates
778
00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:50,831
by announcing my running mate early.
779
00:38:51,746 --> 00:38:53,786
I'd like to offer the position to you.
780
00:38:55,041 --> 00:38:56,170
Good Lord,
781
00:38:56,625 --> 00:38:57,784
that's a terrible idea.
782
00:38:57,876 --> 00:39:01,416
I... I don't think I would play very well
in Iowa or Wisconsin.
783
00:39:01,505 --> 00:39:02,545
I'm a water sign.
784
00:39:02,630 --> 00:39:03,630
We don't need 'em.
785
00:39:04,632 --> 00:39:06,393
Just do the Electoral College math.
786
00:39:06,469 --> 00:39:10,259
If we take Texas, California,
Florida, Michigan, and New York,
787
00:39:10,347 --> 00:39:12,478
we can cobble together
enough of the forever-blue
788
00:39:12,557 --> 00:39:14,307
to make it to 270.
789
00:39:15,686 --> 00:39:17,686
The VP is a real job now.
790
00:39:18,396 --> 00:39:20,516
You could spearhead
my environmental campaign.
791
00:39:21,317 --> 00:39:22,317
And what is that?
792
00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:24,702
I don't have one yet.
793
00:39:25,237 --> 00:39:26,356
That's why I need you.
794
00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:29,032
Why else?
795
00:39:29,115 --> 00:39:30,695
Honestly, I don't know exactly.
796
00:39:30,784 --> 00:39:33,614
I just know I saw you at that debate,
797
00:39:34,704 --> 00:39:37,034
and I have not stopped
thinking about you since.
798
00:39:39,793 --> 00:39:41,673
Shall we go get a shrimp cocktail?
799
00:39:51,764 --> 00:39:52,764
All right.
800
00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:04,567
We tried it without you.
801
00:40:05,068 --> 00:40:07,108
And it was like clapping with one hand.
802
00:40:09,364 --> 00:40:11,525
- We love you, William.
- Well, I love you,
803
00:40:12,952 --> 00:40:15,791
which means I would never get in the way
of all your dreams coming true.
804
00:40:15,871 --> 00:40:17,871
I am so tired
805
00:40:18,081 --> 00:40:21,342
of having my personal life judged
by a different criteria
806
00:40:21,418 --> 00:40:22,628
because I'm a woman.
807
00:40:22,710 --> 00:40:27,471
If a man came out and proudly proclaimed
that he was in a polyamorous relationship
808
00:40:27,550 --> 00:40:30,050
with two brilliant and beautiful women,
809
00:40:30,135 --> 00:40:32,635
the public and the press
would call him a hero.
810
00:40:32,721 --> 00:40:34,141
Remember Warren Buffet?
811
00:40:34,222 --> 00:40:37,023
Wait, are you saying you...
You want to go public?
812
00:40:37,101 --> 00:40:39,190
No, no. Not... Not yet.
813
00:40:41,355 --> 00:40:43,974
I need both of you to be my best self,
814
00:40:44,065 --> 00:40:48,146
and I need to be my best self
in order to win.
815
00:40:51,322 --> 00:40:52,782
I stink of lobster.
816
00:40:56,202 --> 00:40:57,202
Kiss me.
817
00:40:58,289 --> 00:41:01,289
And... melt me like butter.
818
00:41:01,791 --> 00:41:02,791
Mmm!
819
00:41:13,721 --> 00:41:14,721
Let's go.
820
00:41:26,942 --> 00:41:28,442
What does Morning Consult say?
821
00:41:28,527 --> 00:41:31,856
You've dropped another nine points.
Forty-eight percent her, 19 percent you,
822
00:41:31,947 --> 00:41:34,777
- the rest undecided.
- Okay, we need ideas, people, right now.
823
00:41:37,786 --> 00:41:40,365
- Hey, uh, now really isn't a good time.
- I have dirt.
824
00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:44,710
Sit down.
Everybody out, please. Clear the room.
825
00:41:45,126 --> 00:41:46,297
Clear the room. Thank you.
826
00:41:49,923 --> 00:41:51,344
First, I want your office.
827
00:41:52,259 --> 00:41:53,179
- What?
- Your office.
828
00:41:53,260 --> 00:41:54,260
I want it.
829
00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:56,009
F... Fine.
830
00:41:56,096 --> 00:41:58,135
I don't know what happened,
who they hired,
831
00:41:58,224 --> 00:42:01,023
but the Standish campaign
is not stuck in the '90s anymore.
832
00:42:01,393 --> 00:42:03,353
They've installed state-of-the-art IT,
833
00:42:03,436 --> 00:42:05,806
they've hired a K-Street consulting firm,
834
00:42:06,273 --> 00:42:08,112
who's rented out
a whole floor for social media
835
00:42:08,192 --> 00:42:10,112
and another for the new data team.
836
00:42:10,568 --> 00:42:11,989
- We're fucked.
- How is that dirt?
837
00:42:12,070 --> 00:42:13,070
Patience.
838
00:42:13,447 --> 00:42:14,657
But I've gotten in deep.
839
00:42:15,407 --> 00:42:18,447
I gave Hadassah and Dede each
one of those little waving cats
840
00:42:18,536 --> 00:42:19,655
you get in Chinatown,
841
00:42:20,329 --> 00:42:23,418
but the little cats
are holding campaign signs.
842
00:42:23,498 --> 00:42:24,748
They loved them.
843
00:42:24,833 --> 00:42:27,963
Dede took two, one for her office
and one for her home.
844
00:42:28,045 --> 00:42:29,085
Oh, my God, you didn't.
845
00:42:30,463 --> 00:42:31,514
Yes, I did.
846
00:42:31,882 --> 00:42:34,302
Inside each cat is a wireless transmitter.
847
00:42:34,385 --> 00:42:36,795
- Yes, but then, what is he?
- I'm bugging them.
848
00:42:36,887 --> 00:42:39,217
And with the help
of my little Chinese kitten friends,
849
00:42:39,306 --> 00:42:40,425
I've learned two things...
850
00:42:40,516 --> 00:42:43,346
Okay, hold on, hold on. We are bugging
our political opponents now?
851
00:42:43,434 --> 00:42:45,635
Everybody remember how well that went
for Richard Nixon?
852
00:42:46,063 --> 00:42:47,063
Okay?
853
00:42:47,438 --> 00:42:50,188
Look, what... whatever you found out,
I don't want to know.
854
00:42:51,068 --> 00:42:53,697
Oh, quit pretending you're not
as slimy as the rest of them.
855
00:42:53,778 --> 00:42:56,159
Do us all a favor and just embrace it.
856
00:42:56,949 --> 00:42:58,619
Hadassah broke up the throuple,
857
00:42:58,701 --> 00:43:00,411
but they're secretly still boning.
858
00:43:00,911 --> 00:43:01,911
Also,
859
00:43:02,161 --> 00:43:04,672
Dede Standish doesn't care
about this race.
860
00:43:05,708 --> 00:43:08,088
Tino McCutcheon is running for president,
861
00:43:08,168 --> 00:43:11,797
and he's considering her for VP.
862
00:43:16,969 --> 00:43:20,509
Also, I'd like $5,000 in cash
by the end of the day.
863
00:43:28,438 --> 00:43:31,028
Which of these do you think is most you?
864
00:43:31,108 --> 00:43:32,737
Spectacle over substance,
865
00:43:32,818 --> 00:43:34,487
or integrity über alles?
866
00:43:35,570 --> 00:43:37,570
Uh, which one sells more albums?
867
00:43:38,114 --> 00:43:39,195
That's my guy.
868
00:43:39,282 --> 00:43:41,952
Is this really gonna be
my eternal question: Who am I?
869
00:43:42,619 --> 00:43:43,980
Shouldn't I have that figured out?
870
00:43:44,621 --> 00:43:46,501
Am I jazz? Am I hip-hop?
871
00:43:47,123 --> 00:43:48,123
Opera?
872
00:43:48,876 --> 00:43:51,666
You know, my mother says
I need to be my authentic self to win,
873
00:43:51,753 --> 00:43:53,594
but I still have no idea what that is.
874
00:43:54,172 --> 00:43:55,842
- Are you winning?
- No.
875
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,336
Then you're not being your authentic self.
876
00:43:59,260 --> 00:44:01,420
Okay, well, I shouldn't have to rely
on polling numbers
877
00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:03,601
to judge if I'm being
true to myself or not.
878
00:44:03,681 --> 00:44:05,351
That would make me a terrible person.
879
00:44:05,851 --> 00:44:08,851
Empty. Just completely unable
to have any sense of self
880
00:44:08,936 --> 00:44:11,436
without relying on outside influences.
881
00:44:11,523 --> 00:44:13,902
Or maybe it would just confirm you
as a true politician.
882
00:44:15,402 --> 00:44:16,862
Do you want to do good in the world?
883
00:44:16,945 --> 00:44:20,195
Is your motivation for governing
to empower the powerless?
884
00:44:20,282 --> 00:44:21,282
Yes!
885
00:44:21,617 --> 00:44:23,367
Doesn't sound like
a terrible person to me.
886
00:44:26,413 --> 00:44:29,463
I think you just need to stop
being so ashamed of wanting to win.
887
00:44:31,126 --> 00:44:33,335
It's time you stopped
seeing the world as binary.
888
00:44:34,338 --> 00:44:35,628
Right and wrong.
889
00:44:36,172 --> 00:44:37,262
Good and bad.
890
00:44:38,717 --> 00:44:39,717
Doesn't sound like you.
891
00:44:41,219 --> 00:44:42,219
I'm not me.
892
00:44:42,721 --> 00:44:45,601
I'm the little voice in your head
that helps you be you.
893
00:44:46,599 --> 00:44:47,940
And that true you
894
00:44:48,018 --> 00:44:49,228
changes over time.
895
00:44:50,853 --> 00:44:53,324
As you get older,
the world gets more complicated.
896
00:44:54,817 --> 00:44:56,356
You have to get more complicated too.
897
00:44:57,735 --> 00:44:59,565
Well, I can't change the world
if I don't win.
898
00:45:05,077 --> 00:45:07,577
So, how is not doing
everything in my power to win
899
00:45:07,663 --> 00:45:08,873
the decent thing to do?
900
00:45:09,373 --> 00:45:10,373
Huh?
901
00:45:10,873 --> 00:45:13,293
How could it be a sin to...
To destroy the powerful
902
00:45:13,376 --> 00:45:14,797
in order to lift up the powerless?
903
00:45:14,878 --> 00:45:15,878
Yeah.
904
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:18,840
I'm a winner.
905
00:45:19,425 --> 00:45:22,005
That is... That is my authentic self.
906
00:45:23,137 --> 00:45:24,137
Excuse me?
907
00:45:24,387 --> 00:45:26,387
Nothing. Sorry. I have to go.
908
00:45:34,773 --> 00:45:37,572
There's a certain manner
in which I intended to run my campaign.
909
00:45:37,650 --> 00:45:41,570
You know, I... I had an idea
of the candidate that I wanted to be.
910
00:45:41,864 --> 00:45:42,994
Very polite,
911
00:45:43,449 --> 00:45:47,619
stick to the issues, no dirty politics,
but, you know, I realized something.
912
00:45:47,702 --> 00:45:48,702
That's...
913
00:45:49,079 --> 00:45:51,748
That is just not me, right?
914
00:45:51,831 --> 00:45:55,041
I... The authentic me had something
fall into his authentic lap.
915
00:45:55,460 --> 00:45:58,800
A lurid little story about
a certain candidate and her throuple.
916
00:46:00,590 --> 00:46:02,221
Now, the old Payton would've buried it,
917
00:46:02,300 --> 00:46:05,391
but the authentic Payton
is going to release it.
918
00:46:06,096 --> 00:46:07,675
I have a press release all ready to go
919
00:46:07,764 --> 00:46:08,925
and a call in to Page Six.
920
00:46:09,016 --> 00:46:10,056
This is outlandish...
921
00:46:10,141 --> 00:46:11,442
But, but, but, but...
922
00:46:11,518 --> 00:46:13,938
Liar. She saw you kissing,
and you know it's true.
923
00:46:14,646 --> 00:46:17,226
What agreement can we come to
to make this go away?
924
00:46:17,315 --> 00:46:19,275
Oh, see, that's more like it.
925
00:46:20,027 --> 00:46:23,277
Now, Senator, I know that you have visions
for a larger political career.
926
00:46:23,362 --> 00:46:25,322
I know that you wanna be
the vice president.
927
00:46:25,824 --> 00:46:28,414
And that can still very much happen
if you drop out of this race,
928
00:46:28,494 --> 00:46:30,204
- citing medical reasons.
- Oh.
929
00:46:30,829 --> 00:46:33,619
Now...
Your husband will have a heart attack.
930
00:46:33,706 --> 00:46:36,836
There's a cardiologist at Columbia.
He's already drawn up all the paperwork.
931
00:46:36,918 --> 00:46:38,679
You and I will hold
a joint press conference.
932
00:46:38,711 --> 00:46:40,842
You will drop out of the race,
citing Marcus's health.
933
00:46:40,922 --> 00:46:42,512
You endorse me to replace you.
934
00:46:42,590 --> 00:46:44,130
The throuple story... dies.
935
00:46:44,675 --> 00:46:46,846
And you're still well on your way
to the VP slot.
936
00:46:47,846 --> 00:46:50,096
- How's that sound?
- You insufferable little prick!
937
00:46:51,099 --> 00:46:53,518
Ooh, reminder, she was in a throuple,
and I have evidence.
938
00:46:55,103 --> 00:46:58,483
You really are an evil little troll.
939
00:46:58,565 --> 00:47:00,525
No, really, I want to win.
940
00:47:02,902 --> 00:47:06,163
Give me what I want,
and you get to win too.
941
00:47:11,786 --> 00:47:12,867
Excuse me.
942
00:47:19,253 --> 00:47:21,262
- Are you sure, darling?
- Of course.
943
00:47:21,338 --> 00:47:23,838
Of course. It was wrong of me
to ask you to drop out,
944
00:47:23,923 --> 00:47:26,224
and... it won't be necessary.
945
00:47:27,344 --> 00:47:28,434
We're both gonna win.
946
00:47:29,179 --> 00:47:31,389
- I love you, Mom.
- I love you.
947
00:47:36,936 --> 00:47:37,936
Everything okay?
948
00:47:39,063 --> 00:47:40,193
Couldn't be better.
949
00:48:01,378 --> 00:48:04,668
I imagine that was hard.
But don't pack it up just yet.
950
00:48:05,465 --> 00:48:07,045
Payton was in a threesome too.
74621
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