All language subtitles for Living Single - S02 E10 - Double Indignity (480p - HULU Web-DL)

Oh, look at these headlines.

‐ This is so depressing.
‐ 'I know.'

Says here, "Designers predict
wider lapels next season."

I don't even know why
I read the paper.

‐ Morning, people. ‐
Hey, check you out.

‐ You must have a job interview.
‐ O‐oh, girl, that is great.

And here is a little somethin'
for good luck, huh!

It's a runnin' tab
of all the food

you've eaten here while
you were unemployed

and it is even itemized
for your convenience.

Good try, Regine, but I
don't have an interview.

I'm heading to the court
house to scout for anyone

who looks like they
might need a lawyer.

How are you gonna
be able to tell?

If they're in a holding cell,
it's kind of a tip off.

You know what, they'll be
very lucky to have someone

as professional as you are.

I know.

That's why I made up these
coupons in eye catching colors.

And if I'm there when the
felony bus pulls in..

Girl, I tell you, I am
in business, ha ha ha!

♪ We are living single ♪

♪ Oh in a 90's kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I've got my girls ♪

♪ A‐keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get
tough ya gotta fight with ♪

♪ My home girl
standing to my left ♪

♪ And my right true blue
it's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living single ♪

[humming]

It's a movie.

(Kyle) 'What?'

Ah, okay, okay, Dr. Strangelove

or How I Learned to Stop
Worrying and Love the Bomb.

‐ That's it. ‐ Ding‐dang‐dang.

Come on!

[telephone ringing]

Y'all cheatin' us all.

Hello. Ha ha ha. Very funny.

Stop calling here.

Damn, crank caller.

Man, this is been
goin' on all week.

It's startin' to
get on my nerves.

‐ So, what is he sayin'?
‐ Nothin'.

It's just this
annoying little laugh.

[imitating caller's laugh]

You know what? Maybe the
phone cord's tickling him.

Happens to me all the time.

[telephone ringing]

What you ladies need is a
man to answer the phone.

[telephone ringing]

Allow me.

Crank callers are often
intimidated by the male voice.

Listen up, you low life. Stop
calling here and harassing

decent citizens and you get‐‐.

Fine!

Regine. O‐oh, your
mother can curse.

Hey, Max. So, how did it go with
the coupons at the court house?

Well, I got a citation
for littering and, uh..

I was hit on by a flasher.

Now, that's a step up for you.

It's a step up from you.

Don't worry, Max, everything's
gonna work out just fine.

[loudly] Haven't you
been listening?

I went down to the court
house with coupons

and still came up with nothin'!

I heard you!

I was just tryin' to be
encouraging and friendly

but if want this straight,
don't miss missy

you're in deep yogurt.

I didn't wanna go there, man.

Look, Max, you've been trying
for months to get legal work.

Now, right now, you
just need a job.

I know. You think I like
waking up in the morning

and hanging around here all day?

You mean you hate it, too?

My problem is the only thing
that I'm trained to do..

Is to be a lawyer.

Now, come on, look at the ads.

"Book keeper. Basic accountin'.
Secretary shorthand.

Word processor 80
words per minute."

Synclaire is more qualified
to get a job than I am.

No, she's not.

Well, my uncle used to say.

If you want to stay employed..

You go in to a line of work
where people always need ya.

That's why he's known as the
Porta Potty King of Cleveland.

Now, Max, look at this
add, it's interesting.

"Telemarketing.

"Experienced entrepreneur has
quality product to be sold

"by articulate spokesperson.

Earn up to a thousand
dollars a week."

A $1000? Hmm.

That's four silk shirts,
two pairs of crepe pants

a bolero jacket and
a cup of caramel

at the Russian tea room.

[telephone ringing]

Regine, that could've
been your mother.

I know.

Hello, stranger.

And welcome to Galaxy
Telemarketing.

I am Larry and you are?

Maxine Shaw, I'm here for
the telemarketing job.

It's yours, congratulations.

That's it? No interview?

Lemme explain something to you.

This is not a
highly skilled job.

Uh... neurosurgery. That's
a highly skilled job.

This, uh, not so much.

Oh, okay I don't have to do
any heavy breathing, do I?

Of course, not.
That's disgusting.

Uh, but of course,
if you find it to be

a highly effective selling
technique, then run with it.

Okay. What we sell here are

subliminal self
improvement tapes.

Each one with a
motivational message

that's recorded at
such a low volume

that only your subconscious and
cocker spaniels can hear it.

[waves crashing]

Sounds like waves crashing.

Ah, but your
subconscious is hearing.

"You're fat. Put that back."

And people really buy
these things, huh?

Huh?

Okay, well, is there
a health plan?

Of course, if you get sick,
we give you a tape that says.

"You're not sick."

A little subliminal tape humor.

Subconsciously, I'm laughing.

Here's your script and
here's your list of names.

Welcome to the amazing
world of phone sales.

Yes, yes, hello, Mrs.
uh, Mangini.

"Mrs. Mangini.

"Have you ever said to
yourself, gee, I'm fat?

"Or Mrs. Mangini. Do you say,
gosh, I can't stop having sex

and it's ruining my life?"

It happens.

"Well, I.."

Hello?

Hello.

Mrs. Mangini hung up.

Don't worry about it. I
always use one of my ex‐wives

for the first test call.

Dial yourself silly.

Right.

Yes. Yes, hello, Mr. Montonio.
I'm calling..

Oh! Uno momento.

Okay.

Larry, Mr. Montonio
only speaks Spanish.

No problemo, flippo el scripto.

What is all this?

Aye, I'm using modern technology

to track down your crank caller.

We got the reel‐to‐reel.

We got a voice stress analyzer.

And your standard
ol' spectrograph.

That'll come in handy
when you're ready

to build your time
travelling DeLorean.

No, you need a flux
capacitor for that.

Anyway, by analyzing
the background noise

of several of the crank calls

I can hear, people
swearin' and cars honking.

So, I've narrowed it
down to New York City.

And I thought those ears
were just for nibbling.

Hmm, go on, get it.

[telephone ringing]

Hello. Hey, Max.

So how's the new job?

On the suck scale,
it sucks, plus two.

Ow!

Your night with Kyle
only sucked, plus one.

Khadijah, you'd be amazed

who you find here at the
bottom of the barrel.

There's an accountant,
a disc jockey

an airline pilot. Hey, doc.
Gimme a cigarette.

Max, that job hasn't got
you smokin', has it?

Oh, no, no. I'm just holding
it for effect, you know.

It completes the pathetic image.

Larry, what are you doing?

Oh, don't mind me. Just a
little spring cleaning.

Anyway, you wouldn't believe
the office politics here.

Like this girl, Deloris.

Oh, she's been bucking for
the phone near the window.

Alright, everyone, put down your
phones, you're under arrest.

(Khadijah) 'Hey,
what's goin' on?'

I think I'm about
to be handcuffed.

And I don't mean
that in a good way.

Alright, you know, peace and love.
Peace and love.

Peace and love.

Hey, hey. Has Khadijah got
back from bailin' out Max yet?

‐ Not yet. ‐ Oh, man, you know.

I really wish I had a
copy of Jailhouse Rock.

I want to blast it
when they drive up.

‐ You get that crank caller yet?
‐ No, but I'm zeroin' in.

While analyzing the tape,
I distinctly heard

echoin' footsteps and a
splash of runnin' water.

So my guess is, the
culprit is either callin'

from the grand lobby
at the Waldorf Astoria

or is a guy in flamenco boots
carryin' a bucket of water.

Man..

‐ Maxie, you're okay? ‐
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.

And, Khadijah, thanks
again for bailing me out.

Oh, no problem.

Kyle said he'd reimburse me, if
I gave him the canceled check

with Max's bail written on it.

[laughing]

Yeah, yeah, laugh it
up, laugh it up, Kyle.

I wrote your name and number
on the holding cell wall.

Weren't you busy pumping iron
and watching game shows?

Aw‐w.

Show her some sympathy.

Bad enough she doesn't
have a man or a job.

Now, she's got this bad rap.

Well, Max, after being in jail,
I bet you'd never wanna spend

another moment cooped up in a
room with a bunch of women.

Enjoy your freedom.

Well, I'm not free.

I've been given a date
to show up in court.

But you did nothing wrong.

I know, but Galaxy
Telemarketing did.

They were taking money
for subliminal tapes

with no subliminal
messages on them.

My life is in the gutter.

Your life is gonna be fine,
'cause you're not guilty.

Being innocent does not
guarantee a quiddle.

I could be disbarred.

I could end up in prison.

Oh, man, I'm sorry you're
going through all this, Max.

Kyle is pitying me.

I have truly reached the
lowest point in my life.

Oh, don't despair, Max.
Hell is like Batman.

Here comes another
philosophical Jim.

Batman doesn't sit around
complaining about how diabolical

the Joker is or how distracting
Catwoman is in her..

Skin tight, pad leather unitard.

No! No!

He... he gets off
his back behind

and kick some arch
villain booty.

I have hit rock bottom because
that make complete sense to me.

Overton's right.

I am not going out like that.

I am not going out
without a fight.

Wow, Overton, your bad
speech really fired her up.

We can learn a lot from our
little animated friends.

'Like, when I was a kid..'

I used to like Fat Albert.

And then I thought, well, hey,
who's gonna get more women?

A superhero with a sweet ride

or a 200 pound seventh grader?

Oh, Max.

Look, I talked to Synclaire, she
doesn't know where Overton is.

Damn! What about you? Did
you bring what I asked for?

Yeah.

There's a little stick
in there you can, uh..

Spread the cheese over
the cracker with it.

Excuse me, are you Fred Mayer?

And you're asking
me that because..

‐ You're my public defender. ‐
Ah, it's great, I found you.

Look, I just suggest
you plead guilty

pay the fine, just
get it over with.

‐ What's your name?
‐ Maxine Shaw.

‐ Oh, you're the lawyer.
‐ Exactly.

Have some idea how to get me off
'cause I'm not pleading guilty.

Right, you better not mess up
'cause we pay your salary.

Oh, great. Disgruntled
tax payers.

Widows or no widows. Guilty.

Next case.

Case number 496.

The people versus
Galaxy Telemarketing.

Maxine Shaw, first defendant.

Galaxy Telemarketing!

Larry Friedlander, what
are we selling this week?

Hello, Your Honor.

Have I ever told you how
lovely you look in that robe?

Settle down, Larry.

Your Honor, my client pleads..

Not guilty.

Not guilty.

Any particular reason?

Yes. For the two hours
Michelle worked

as a telemarketer she
made not one sale.

She made no sale, she
committed no crime.

It's as simple as that.

You were just handed this case
out in the hallway, weren't you?

I am going to fry.

Okay, how about this?

In State of California
versus Patty Hearst

the defense argued that a person
cannot be held responsible when

their mind is being controlled
by some outside force.

Your Honor, I contend
that Miss Maxine Shaw

was under the influence

of this Svengali, this
mastermind control..

Larry Friedlander.

Oh, stop.

Brain washed, huh? Okay,
I'm ready to rule‐‐.

Your Honor, I'm an attorney.

I'd like to go pro se
and represent myself.

‐ No offense, Fred.
‐ None taken.

My next move is gonna
be the insanity plea.

I'll save that for Larry.

Miss Shaw, if you think you can
top the Patty Hearst thing..

Your Honor.

The police records indicate
that only one person

led the offices of
Galaxy Telemarketing.

Why?

Because only one man knew what
he was doing was illegal.

That man, Lawrence
J Friedlander.

You'll never work in the
telemarketing industry again.

I made you and I can break you.

‐ Sit. ‐ Sorry.

Now, had I known..

Had any of us known that what
we were involved in was illegal

wouldn't one of us
run from the police?

But we didn't run.
Not one of us.

Because we had no
knowledge and therefore

no intent to commit fraud.

Do you have any evidence?

Not at this time, Your Honor.

Your Honor, I've known this
woman since freshman year

in college and she's
always been honest.

If there was some law against
being honest she'd be arrested.

But then it'd be a crime,
so she wouldn't do it.

You know what I'm sayin'.

Hold that gavel.

Another friend of the defendant?

‐ Did you get the tape? ‐ And
this along with the tape.

Your Honor, I call
Overton Wakefield Jones

to the stand.

Now, Mr. Jones..

You have been recording
all phone calls

coming into Miss
James apartment.

Is that correct?

Is that correct?

Yes, yes, at the
ladies request I was

tryin' to track down a crank caller.
Don't you see?

Mr. Jones, please tell the
court what is on this tape.

It's a conversation
between you and Khadijah

at the precise moment
the police came in.

Further long on the tape is
the best of Boosie Collins..

I don't see how that
figures into this case.

‐ Uh, Boosie a bass player.
‐ P‐Funk, yeah.

Your Honor, this recording will
prove that I had absolutely

no knowledge those
tapes were fraudulent.

In fact, I was having a
personal conversation

and therefore was not
engaged in phone fraud

when the police arrived.
I was not seen doing it.

I was not heard doing it.

And this is all to say
very simply, Your Honor.

I didn't do it.

That's a very compelling
argument, Miss Shaw.

Pending my verification of
the tapes authenticity..

You're case is dismissed.

Yes. Oh, you did it, baby.

Max, I'm Deloris.

Right, you were selling that
impotence could be sexy tape.

Will you represent me?

If that's alright
with you, Your Honor?

Would anybody else like to
be represented my Miss Shaw?

Put your hand down, Larry.

Oh, check me out,
people, I'm free.

Well, you get what you pay for.

My girl worked it
in court today.

Not only did she clear
herself off the charges..

But she cleared everybody else

and got her a date with
that cute bailiff.

Yes, being back in court
gave me such a rush.

After gettin' a glimpse into the
workings of our legal system

I realized that Matlock pretty
much tells it the way it is.

[telephone ringing]

Nobody get that, that's
that crank caller.

Could be for me. Put your
number on my answering machine.

Hello.

Oh, how are you?

Is that right?

Is that right?

Is that right?

‐ Is that right? ‐ Hell,
I guess that's right.

Well, alright.

It's the public
defenders office.

Judge Glazer was so impressed
with me that she put in a word.

‐ What? ‐ Low pay, long hours?

I'll take it.

See you Monday.

I got a job.

‐ Yes. ‐ Yeah, ha, ha, yeah.

Max, you're gonna be
a public defender.

You're gonna work
for the people.

‐ Freak the people, I got a job.
‐ Yeah.

Hey, this caller ID phone
Overton installed really works.

We got the crank
caller's number.

Oh, shoot. He's gonna be sorry
he ever called this house.

Listen up, you punk, if
you think for a min‐‐.

What?

Oh!

What's your name, little boy?

Andy.

Have you been callin' here?

Well, you know, Andy,
what you doin' is wrong.

I could call the police.

What you mean the police
work for your dad?

Look, stop making up
stories, young man

and don't call here
anymore, okay?

Crazy kid. Says his
father's the mayor.

[laughing]